#the only trauma he has is the asylum | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

animefreak1145 · 9 days ago

Text

Church Bells(Adler x Bell!Reader x Woods)

Previous Intel

Eighth Intel | Before

Description:

The world ended for Bell after Cuba.

The whole world followed soon after.

Zombies AU | Drabble Format

Warnings/Tags: Mature Rating, Graphic Violence, Dark Themes, Trauma, Body Horror, Gore, Major Character Death, Brainwashing, Post!Cuba, Pre!Solovetsky, No Solovetsky, Female Bell, Older Man/Younger Woman, Toxic Relationship, Obsession, Menticide

Words: 4k (What's a drabble again?)

▞ ▚ ▞ ▚ ▞ ▚ ▞ ▚ ▛ ▞ ▚ ▞ ▚ ▞ ▚ ▞ ▚ ▟ ▞ ▚ ▞ ▚

■ ▞ ■ ▚ ■ “Bell” ■ ▞ ■ ▚ ■

Day After Ukraine Mission

16:07 | February 28th, 1981

CIA SAFEHOUSE E9, “DIE LANDEBAHN”

“You do that a lot.”

You start from what you were staring at, the codes that are so tricky and you feel so close. The intel from what you have in your hands adding a piece to the puzzle that you’re enamored with—the complexities satisfying a carnal part of you that you can’t name. Your head turns to find Lazar’s curious yet amused smile, close to the television they used sometimes for the news not at your usual spot at the too small desk with the too large computer; at the center table instead is where you chose to haunt.

“What?” you reply dumbly, too out of your element to say a more snarky reply. The transition from focused on the task to this interruption from the man that is more of an Eema than an Abba due to how hearty he looks and feels and making sure everyone felt the same by also stuffing their face.

“That.” You were met with Lazar’s finger in your face. You resisted the urge to stare cross eyed and instead gave him a more inquisitive look, eyes searching. Which only humored him more, releasing a chuckle. “You have quite an intimidating stare.”

You push the hand away, scoffing,

“What? At my work? Isn’t that like everyone else?”

Lazar hummed, his eyes glittering at a joke you can’t understand.

“No. You have that type of stare that will freeze lesser men. Or get slapped by someone who thinks you’re looking for a fight. Or get you put into an asylum. Only, when you decode, you have an insane smile on your face. It’d be creepy if we didn’t know you.��

“Uh huh.” You dismissed, eyes glancing at the medical office. “You should work better on your compliments if you want Park to have a drink with you.”

If Park wasn’t in the medical office room along with Adler, you’re sure Lazar would throw his old cup noodle at you. Alas, he only gave you a dry “Ha. Ha.” with a neutral expression but still didn’t leave. He wants an answer.

You turn to him fully, elbows leaning back against the desk, petulant.

“I doubt I smile like how you describe…” Lazar snorted while you frowned at him, before shifting your gaze back to your papers. “I don’t know. I just…love puzzles. They’re fun to solve.”

“Is that what makes you stare so intently?” Lazar leaned against the television, the stand slightly creaking at the movement, his intrigue seeming sincere. Another question hidden, two subjects being asked for one answer. A wall. “The thrill?”

Is that what love is to you?

You tapped at the papers, biting your lip in thought.

“Maybe a part…I just have this need to figure things out. To open it up—to find the numbers, the letters, the riddles. In an order that is random but it’s not. It’s just a trick. A shadow on the wall. A reason for each piece. Each hint. Every piece of the puzzle has its purpose. It’s reason for being.” You didn’t notice when you started smiling, the topic consuming you like books and pictures do. But you just kept going as you grabbed your pen and fiddled with it, miming writing numbers or letters. “Like Sims with mechanics, I think. Or you with bomb wiring. You find the hardy wires or broken pieces—and I untangle it all. I even love how difficult it could be if I find a cipher intellectual. It’s fun.”

“Sounds maddening,” Lazar replied simply, brow raising. “And painful. Maybe even obsessive.”

You shrug, staring deeply at your own pen, tone far away. As if you were speaking about another topic than this. Something other. Like a secret.

“That’s love, isn’t it? Pain and obsession?”

“Your books tell you that? Or you come to that conclusion yourself?” You pressed your lips, silent. Only glancing at Lazar(are you easy to read?) who only smiled gently before switching gears and letting out a booming laugh. “With that description of love—you very much implied Adler is in love with our friendly neighborhood Perseus.”

Your jaw dropped, a gasp being released as you sat up rigid in your chair. A defense for Adler and a denial ready only for a startling guffaw to join in.

“What the shit are you talking about, Lazar?” Woods comes from his previous spot practicing with the boxing bag, Mason side by side with his own amused gaze as they come close to the center table. Woods snorted as he leaned back against the table near you instead of taking a proper seat. “Can you imagine our own Robert Redford switching spit with a commie? Ha!”

“Is that what you’re doing?” Mason quips to his friend with a nudge while Woods expression quickly changed to offended with no heat as he pushes Mason back with a disbelieving snort. “What? Sorry I’m airing out your fantasies.”

It was strange watching them. The easy back and forth quips and teases. Lazar felt like a warm hearth and home cooked meals compared to Mason’s steady kindness of a worn animal despite its past and Woods…

You briefly think of the night prior, how charged he felt out in the field. Not eager for it yet…willing to take everything and anything out his way. But his friendly taunts and words to you too. The arcade. The room where you got the intel and the knowledge he had of you, knowing you would’ve loved to play around more with the tech and computers there if the both of you had time and not world ending doom.

You weren’t impressed by his skills. Skills are to be expected in this line of work. People can call you cocky all they want.

But how personable he is? That was different.

It was unexpected.

(Why did it feel like he’s more close to you than Sims right now? Why has everyone been so disconnected from you? Even—blue fire for eyes hidden by the shaded wall, wheat dancing in the wind, artful cracks across a canvas—)

A hand waved in front of your face, your eyes broken from its lost look as you blinked back to the present.

“Hello? Earth to Bell?” Woods was still next to you and you couldn’t help but notice that Mason moved away with Lazar to where Lazar’s station is. Still talking with friendly smiles and easy atmosphere. You blinked again before turning towards Woods, who looked at you with a mix of amusement and concern. “What happened there? Did you even listen to a word I said?”

You didn’t. You’ve been doing this a lot. Getting lost in your head. Your brain foggy and mind distant. Not as quick as you usually are. You thankfully haven’t had this happen in the field. You hope it stays that way.

Instead of giving a straight answer, your lips only rose in a dry smile.

“Sorry, was thinking just how you got the guts to punch Hudson of all people.”

Woods huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back, brushing your shoulders as he did.

“Doesn’t take guts to punch a prick.”

“No,” your smile turns up a tad, more mischief. “Takes some balls instead. Can’t have balls without a prick nearby or there’ll be trouble.”

Woods made a choked sound, as he stared at you dumbly before slapping the table and releasing a loud boom of a laugh. You wonder how he does that. So loud. So free.

“You got more spunk than I thought, Bell. Guess you need it to even get the idea to escape in a Ruskie tank.”

You huff out your nose, but your chest still lightened at the praise. Your smile coming easy now and tension completely fallen away. You hid it though as you turned back to your work, picking up a stray picture of the Ukraine base you took.

“Did it for you. I figured you would want to run some commie’s over.”

“Oh, I’ve dreamed of it. I would say top five of my favorite wet dreams.”

You couldn’t help it. You snorted, it bursted through your chest and it didn’t stop, only turned to a laugh. You put a hand over your mouth to try to contain it but Woods satisfied expression only made you laugh more.

“Why—why did you say that?!” You try to collect yourself but you couldn’t. Not when Woods waggled his brows as if in answer. “Pfft—should I even ask what’s top one?”

Woods shrugged.

“No can do. Gotta protect your innocence somewhere. My mind is a crazy place. Don’t wanna scare you off.” You snort again, shaking your head at him and tried to get back to work. Woods didn’t move as you stared around at the different pictures you took with Intel. “Say, where’s the random pics you took of me?”

“Don’t worry, Woods. I didn’t take out a camera with you over the mannequin—“ You stopped when he shook your shoulder, a warning gaze that only made you bite back another smile and only glare at him with no heat as you pushed his hand off. “Calm down,” you say quietly. “I haven’t said anything. Scout’s Honor.” You raise a hand as if to show.

Woods rose a brow dubiously.

“Were you even a Girl Scout?”

“Doubtful. Looks like you just gotta hope I don’t open my mouth about it.”

Woods grunted. Yet still didn’t leave.

“Do you normally take pics of everything and everyone? Even on missions like that?”

“I like it. I like taking pictures. Did I make you uncomfortable?” You did take a few of him before you took a picture of the base. It was nice lightning and he looked good. “I can give you the pictures I took to you, if you want. They were good shots.”

“I suppose I can add it to my scrapbook.” Woods joked before shaking his head, his eyes turning more curious as the conversation went on. Gaze more assessing as he stared down at you. “Nah, it’s fine. Don’t mind you keeping them. After I take a look of course. I guess I’m just asking…what’s the obsession with the camera? Film is precious right?” At your shoulder tensing, you starting to get defensive, he quickly changed tactics as he rose a hand in calming manner. “I ain’t judging. Just curious. Couldn’t help but overhear Park talk to you that Adler doesn’t like wasting resources. Or some shit like that. I don’t get the big deal. But it must be if you keep doing it despite them having a stick up their asses about some film of all things.”

Your brows pinched together, gazing intently at Woods eyes. You don’t see a reprimand. Or exasperation. Or even amused exasperation, like you were just being cute while doing something disobedient—like a pet jumping at their owners even as they tell them no with an amused smile. (“Always the one who never listens. Huh, Bell? Didn’t I tell you before about the pictures?”) He’s being sincere in his interest. It was his expression that did it.

You looked away, eyes taking in the safehouse around them.

“Ever feel like a ghost in your own body?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Woods answered roughly. You nodded next to you, him taking that as permission that he can finally properly sit next to you. You didn’t mind thighs or shoulders brushing. Comrades now. Both of you throwing your lives on the line. Getting shot by a common enemy brings people together no other way can.

“Well, the coma did a number on me. I don’t remember much. I can’t put a story to scars on my body. My life, my memories—it’s only Vietnam.”

“Fucked up thing to remember. That whole war was a shit show,” Woods provided. “You must’ve been young.”

You only hummed, distant. Eyes straying in the direction of the red room. Your skin prickled in goosebumps, ears falsely hearing shots and napalm strikes. You shuddered but hid it by clenching your fists on the table, eyes on your jumbled words of your work.

“Yeah…Hue City was just the start of everything going downhill…But I guess my point is…” You don’t know how to properly say it, you can’t find the English word for this. Esurient for memories erased. The feeling of not quite fitting in everyone’s circle, even with Sims. Monachopsis. (Are you even here at all? It’s like they stare past you.) “Life is memories. I don’t have any. What’s a person if not memories? So…I don’t feel…like it. A person.” You shrug casually, mutely. Hand wandering to a picture, thumbing it. “Ghosts don’t seem to remember stuff besides a deep motive. That’s what others believe. But…with pictures…pictures are for memories. If I take pictures, I’m actually taking memories. And if take enough memories…” You struggled once more how to explain but Woods was sharp despite his looks.

“You’ll be a person again.” Your eyes darted towards him, giving him a minute nod as he seemed to consider your words with a tilt of his head. The silence between the two of you wasn’t stifling, just…there.

You felt like something was released from you.

Unlocked.

The key was just for someone to ask.

“Hey, listen—“ you turned at the soft touch to your shoulder, and you noticed Woods looked uncomfortable about the atmosphere you created. Not used to sharing open emotions like this no doubt but still had what appeared like care in his eyes. “You should really talk to Mason, he—“

Your ears honed in on the medical office opening, your eyes quick to follow as your head swiveled. Everything turned silent as your eyes settled upon the body you can recognize even in the thickest of jungles or deepest of wet rice paddies. And as your eyes settled, your thoughts of ruminating toska and the sense of lacuna dissipated.

You were so busy trying to catch what Adler was saying to Park beside him, you temporarily forgotten Woods next to you. You could hear him talking. Some form of advise.

You turned back to your work and absently nodded with a quick smile to match at him. Your lips moved to say thanks. You think you did.

You didn’t see Woods throw another look of concern towards you, of suspicion. Turning something over his head.

You forced your ears to stretch, as if with force you can have super hearing. With brute force you can have the arcane man with valleys upon his visage, with liquid nectar that bounces with voluminous silk, voice of gravel that leads to the path of victory and makes your mind hazy.

You still had a pen in your hand, tight as you looked down with a frown at the papers. Your leg beginning to bounce under the table. Impatient. Restless. Athirst.

“I’m going out for a smoke,” Adler called out(Beckoned, Signaled, Enticed—trinket waved like a treat. Your nepenthe.) clearly, more loudly than how he was talking to Park. You didn’t turn your head as he walked out the door near the garage door, too obvious. But you did sneak a look when he exited, stealing gaze right when you saw his back before the door closed.

Except it didn’t. A small rock held it ajar.

A secret.

“What the hell?” Woods was bewildered, staring after Adler while you tried to hide the fact. Waiting a beat. Or two. Your leg bounced under the table, growing more insistent. “Doesn’t he get his fix in here anyways?”

You heard Lazar answer for Woods, something about Adler needing a change of scenery sometimes. You can see in your peripheral his glance. You ignored it as you stood up to head back to your computer desk.

“I’m taking a break too,” you say, quickly picking a book from your pile in the corner after a brief deliberation.

“Uh…” Woods face would’ve made you laugh from how scrunched up it was as he stared as you quickly fixed your work papers back in the center table, book under your arm. “Isn’t that what you were doing? Like fuckin’ a second ago?”

“No,” you answer, organizing the pictures and quickly scanning them before you do so. “Lazar interrupted me from my work. And then you did. It was an interruption. Not a break.”

“You sure turned prickly,” Woods said in answer.

You pause, seeing Woods was somehow offended. He just doesn’t get it.

“Says the cactus,” you quip with a quick smile, twitching up more at Woods huff out his nose. “I…like taking my break the same time as Adler,” You decide to answer the question in his eyes. He did listen. “It’s what we’ve always done. I read. He smokes. And right back to work we go. It works better this way.”

You didn’t wait for his reply.

You didn’t even bother to see if he was about to.

You have the book in your hand, and you have your tether(Your eyes looks for the sun tanned gold even though it should blind you, but you never cared for your wellbeing. Protect the quiet monster like a demon enraged. Demon for monster. Monster for demon. The coin. You keep it in your pocket, whelve it—the whispered confession—the gravity of your ustulation and agastopia can burn through your pockets and skin all it wish. You keep it in. Like the pain killers Adler gave you earlier for your migraine after their meeting with Hudson about Ukraine.) outside.

You open the door and without looking, you went to the left side of the door that’s by some unused pallets. Sitting on them and opening your book to your last point, as if you were ignoring him. (How could you?) He was smoking as he leaned against the wall beside the door. You always left of it, him always right. (▞ He’s always right. ▞ He ▙ never ▞ lies. Not to ▖ ▞ ▗ you.)

It was silent. Only the turning of your pages as you focused on reading, and the occasional exhale you hear now and then if you strain your ears. A puff of grey smoke above the two as your audience.

You don’t mind the quiet moments. You take what you can get. The two of you have too long a history for you to be uncomfortable at silence. Or needing something more.

You don’t.

(The secret coin in your pocket burns, and you try not to flinch nor whine. You must stay sated, ▚ демон ▚ ▛ ▖ ▖.)

A shot went through the front of your skull, your hand darting up as it seemed to go to the back of your head, a hiss to your lips. You almost dropping the book with your other hand.

“Another migraine?” He was close. You opened your eyes you didn’t realize were closed as you were hunched over your knees, spotting his shoes.

You only offered a small nod before closing your eyes again, jaw tight.

“I don’t…” you stop, speaking more quietly to help with the pounding. The sunlight was too much already, you don’t want to add your own voice to your own misery. “Dont know why it’s getting worse. Is this…normal?”

“It can be.” He replied simply, to the point. “Here. Take this.”

You blinked your eyes open and lifted your head to spot he took out some more medicine from his leather jacket, holding it out to the pills in the palm of his hand. At the sight, your stomach curdled.

You felt yourself pale and you don’t know why.

Adler must’ve noticed your hesitation. Tilting his head and lips twitching to a frown around his cigarette. He lifted a hand, taking one deep inhale, embers subtly lighting his face before he threw it off. He exhaled out his nose, smoke flowing smoothly.

Your throat tightened as you stared. But not in want. It felt more heavy. More heady. Your mouth open more in a wince than for anything else.

“You know this will help. We gotta make sure you’re in shape for this, Bell.” You bowed your head in shame, book now beside you on the pallet as you clenched your hands on your knees. You heard him sigh. And now you see him, closer—he’s kneeling in front of you. One knee down, the other having his elbow leaning against it. “I don’t have to explain to you the stakes currently. You know how serious this is since you and Woods found out Hudson’s dirty little secret about Perseus and the nuke he has. You know it. We can’t fuck around anymore.”

You hunched your shoulders, as if that can hide you from your guilt. Because you spotted his glance towards your book. You can guess what else he’s hinting.

Stay a ghost or try to be a person? A part of your mind asked. You tried to not let your heart crack of no more pictures.

“I know…” you say, eyes down and to the side. Yet… “It’s just…it wasn’t that long ago you gave me them…I don’t—I mean—“ Your tongue is tied again. Like always near him. You didn’t mean to sound accusing or hinting. Adler is trained for medical issues on the field. You tried to take a breath. “I just don’t want to be a burden with all this. Slow you guys down. I don’t want to disappoint you.” You did a tight squeeze of your knees, practically white knuckled grip, a mix of uncaring at your honesty and hating yourself for it.

You felt your chin be lifted up, Adler’s forefinger doing so you can be face to face. He assessed you seriously.

“You won’t, kid.” He’s so close. Breath to your face. So calm too. Your anchor. He believes in you. If you or him leaned just an inch or two forward—he took his hand away from your face before bringing his palm with the medicine again. “Taking these will help. I’ll watch over you. Just like the good ‘ol days.” He tilted his head, a quirk of the mouth up. And you think he couldn’t be more charming.

You ignored your past nerves, quickly taking the medicine in a dry swallow, gloved hands brushing his bare ones(Damn it all.).

He nodded at you, the barest thing of it before he stood up. Glancing at your book again with pressed lips before facing you once more with a raised brow.

“Oscar Wilde? Here I thought you only read Dostoevsky and Nietzsche.”

“It’s a collection of some of his poem’s. And a break from existentialism and nihilism is good for the mind. But you’ve always been more of a stoic,” you shoot him a teasing look, an attempt to get your bravado back. “Our very own Prince Andrei Bolkonsky.”

Adler did a small huff out his nose.

“Just don’t start bowing.” Adler did a quick motion of his to the door. “Come on. Back to work, Tolstoy.”

You nod, marking where you were in the book before following Adler back in, your hold on the book tight. Who knows when you’ll get to read again.

Stay a ghost or try to be a person?

(It doesn’t matter. Adler made the choice for you.)

You tell yourself it’s fine. You instead let yourself be a book for Adler—willing to be read. You imagine how he would do it, a book of you in his hands. Read through your pages, open up your spine and let his fingers run through your creases—how easily can he finish you? How many times could he, until you’re worn and wrinkled from use? Will his touch trace the abuse of a loved book?

The place where he put his finger on your chin burns.

…

The page you marked on the page reads: “Never regret thy fall, O Icarus of the fearless flight, For the greatest tragedy of them all, Is never to feel the burning light."

▞ ▚

▛

▞ ▚

A/N: Bell is a SIMP. Poor girl. The best way to tell if Bell is in love, is if she suddenly starts thinking in poetry. Bell stares intensely you say? Bell loves intensely too.

I’m also confusing myself with Dark!Adler and Soft!Adler. But again he’s both so 🤷‍♀️ Man so toxic and a red flag, he’s even confusing the author.

Also, I’m planning to write really quickly to finish up For Whom the Bell Tolls. Didn’t want to but I really want to go ahead and write for BO6. Then again, that fic was NEVER supposed to be that long or longer. Sorry if I speed through some stuff, I just want to finish it and move on then torture you all further.

Tag List: @tr1ppylady @parkeepingparker @weirdoartist21 @gojocat247 @mayaibnlaahad @dallmaistir @salvija @kylezkie4adler @asaltryefl @stupid-stinky @aurora-windu @zachfoxx121 @pyxis-stellae @makeyourpeacenow @obsessedgremlin

You have to tell me if you want me to tag you for each update or else I won't know. Or if you wish to be removed.

45 notes · View notes

gobblinggojo · 5 months ago

Text

Fortnight

Yuta Okkotsu x Reader

Warnings: Lyrics used at some point, Angst, Cursing, Reader is described gender-neutral,, Reader was sent to a mental asylum by their parents due to their cursed energy which has caused trauma, Past-trauma mentioned, Manga chapter 261 Spoilers, Blood and death mentioned.

ੈ✩‧₊ The Tortured Poets Department Masterlist˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

“I touched you,

For only a fortnight

(I touched you)

But I touched you.”

This was not how any of it was supposed to go. When you first came to Tokyo Jujutsu High, as a first year, you were welcomed with warm, open arms. A complete and utter drastic difference from your home life.

As a child, you always knew that you were different, You could always see the monsters that your family could not see. For as long as you can remember, you can always remember waking up to the monster in your closet, only to be shaken off by your mother and father as it just being your imagination. You remember distinctly the sounds of your cries as you wailed for your mama and papa to save you. The very same cries you were letting out at this very moment, hoping–praying for Yuta to be okay.

Too many people in your life have either left, or been killed due to the agonizing evil in this world. Nobara, Nanami, Gojo-Sensei, …Megumi. So many you have loved and cherished as if they were your very own family.

From the very first moment you were abandoned by your mother and father at the age of ten in that wretched asylum, you knew that you had absolutely nobody. You could still remember the numerous tests and the various blood-work and psychiatric treatment you were put through. The shock therapy, the injections, so much trauma that you, as a child, had to endure.

When Gojo-Sensei came, a boy with midnight black hair by his side, you had finally been saved–seen, and saved.

“You–Y/n, have a gift. And I promise you, that with my guidance, and the love of your peers, you are going to be just fine. ‘Kay?”

Gojo-Sensei’s words are often replayed over and over again in your head throughout the few short years you have been at Jujutsu High. You felt comfort in them, because in all honesty, Gojo-Sensei was right. With his guidance, and the love you often felt from your peers, you were okay. You were perfectly, and utterly fine.

Truly, everything was going so, so amazing in your life.

So, why did it all have to change now?

“I wanna kill him..”

Your words came out in strained sobs as you sat at the medical bedside of Yuta Okkotsu. Shoko stood right above him, scalpel in hand as she worked ever-so-carefully as she removed Yuta;s brain from his head. By his left side, Gojo-Sensei lay, head cut right open, and brain gone.

Even in death, Gojo-Sensei was nothing but a puppet for the jujutsu world.

And so was Yuta. Your Yuta.

“I think we all want to kill him, Y/n,” Shoko’s voice was soft as she spoke, continuing her diligent work of art as she wiped a bit of blood away from dripping down Yuta’s head.

The male lay unconscious by you, hand loosely in your own grasp as he lay limp, awaiting to use Kenjaku’s cursed technique inside of Gojo-Sensei in order to stop the raging battle between Sukuna and the Jujutsu world.

“He has taken everything away, Shoko…Nobara, Megumi…Gojo-Sensei…My Yuta..” Tears began to well up once more, slowly dripping down your face as you stared sadly at what was becoming of your lover.

Shoko pressed her lips together in a frown, her gloved hands carefully continuing to cut open Yuta’s head to get to his brain. Her brown eyes moved at one point, gazing right at you with a look of complete and utter pity. “I know, Y/n.”

It was silent for a few more minutes as Shoko carefully extracted Yuta’s brain from his head. It made you completely and utterly sick; seeing your lover there in that state. You wanted to throw up as you watched Shoko set his brain down on a medical table before she turned towards Gojo’s own body, beginning to prepare it for Yuta’s brain.

“Yuta and I were only together for two weeks, Shoko….He called it a fortnight..” You chuckled sadly, remembering Yuta as he spoke to Gojo-Sensei with such excitement when Gojo-Sensei had returned.

“I finally worked up the courage to ask Y/n to be mine, Gojo-Sensei..” His shy smile, accompanied by that little blush of his as he scratched the back of his neck warmed your heart.

“No kidding! Look at you Okkotsu, finally taking what's yours!” Gojo’s voice boomed loudly as he chuckled at his students' pride. “How long have ya been together? Don’t tell me I’ve missed a whole year!”

“We’ve been together for a fortnight..”

Shoko let out a sad chuckle, moving her head to gaze at you as she smiled pitifully once more. “Gojo always knew that something would happen between you and Okkotsu..” You watched as hands covered in latex carefully grabbed the bloodied organ off of the medical table. Shoko turned her back away, carefully placing Yuta’s brain inside of Gojo’s head, before she began to get to work stitching up the puppet.

“...Will Yuta come back?” Your voice shook as you asked the dreaded question that you already knew the answer to. There was no way that Yuta would be coming back. He only had five whole minutes before the cursed energy would leave him, leaving both himself, and Gojo-Sensei dead.

“I don’t think he will come back, Y/n.”

Shoko’s words were straight to the point, not wanting to lie to you and get your hopes up. However, you wished that she would have lied to you. The feeling of your heart sinking deeper into your chest hurts. It hurts so bad.

You could feel the salty trail of tears slowly drip down your face, falling right onto Yuta’s hand that you held as you stared hopelessly at the love of your life.

“I touched him for only a fortnight, Shoko…How is that fair?” You cried out, moving to stand up as you let go of Yuta’s hand. Your face was red as you wiped furiously at the tears that continued to come out of your face. “How is that fair?!” Your voice cried as you screamed in Shoko’s direction, heart beating quickly as you wiped Yuta’s blood off of his face.

No reply. Shoko stayed silent as she continued to work on stitching up Gojo, her brows knitted together as she completely shook off your breakdown.

And I love you.

It’s ruining my life.

I love you, it's ruining my life.

I touched you.

For only a fortnight.

I touched you.

But I touched you.

Those words replayed over and over again inside of your head, like a mantra that you had known forever. Tears continued to crash down as you turned, rushing out of the medical room as you cried. Cried for your parents, cried for Gojo-Sensei, for Nobara, for Megumi…but most of all, for the loss of your lover–Yuta.

This just was not fair, nothing was fair.

Your eyes roamed the destruction outside of the medical room; sobs continued to escape your lips as you looked for at least a place to sit and calm yourself. None of this was fair.

You continued to walk around the destroyed property of Jujutsu high, face red, eyes burning as you continued to cry, and, and cry.

“It’s not fair..” You spoke to no one in particular as you fell to your knees under one of the many trees outside; one of the few that was not destroyed during Sukuna’s rampage. Your heart continued to beat, soft sobs leaving your lips as you stared down at the ground, hands gripping the ends of your uniform as you cried.

“Gojo-Sensei–” You cried out the name of your teacher as you looked up to the sky, eyes narrowed as if you were trying to curse your deceased instructor with just a look into the sky. “You should have just kept me there–at the asylum. I never wanted to ever get this attached to anybody again..Nobody.” You let out another pitiful sob as you wiped helplessly at your eyes, trying so hard to get rid of the oncoming rush of tears that just would not stop.

“I want to kill him so bad..” Your bottom lip trembled as you let your hands drop to your lap, sobbing once more as you slammed your head back into the trunk of the tree.

“Loving Yuta was the worst decision of my life…Loving you is ruining my life, Yuta!” You screamed up to the sky, face beet red as you continued to scream and cry at the realization that you truly lost the love of your life forever.

There was absolutely nothing that Yuta could do to fix this–to come back and continue to love and protect you.

His arms encircled your waist as he held you close in the vision of your memory; his warm breath tickling your neck as he pressed a kiss to it. “I’m so happy I finally have you now, Y/n..” He let out a shy chuckle.

“I’m happy we both just finally found the courage to confess…I really missed you while you were gone, Yuta..” You let out a breathless giggle as he pressed another kiss to your neck, before moving to press one to your cheek, then your forehead–and finally your lips.

“You have no idea how happy you make me..”

“I feel like I finally have someone to live for.”

“I love you, Y/n.”

“I will never, ever leave you in this cursed world. I will forever protect you, okay?”

I love you…

I love you..

I love you.

Yuta Okkotsu, forever loving you is ruining my life.

Tag List:

@athensflower

@blendingcaramal

#okkotsu yuta #yuta x reader #jjk x reader #reader #yuuta x reader #jjk yuta okkotsu #yuta x reader angst #jjk angst #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #yuta okkotsu x reader fluff #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta x reader jjk #jjk yuta #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader angst #Spotify

128 notes · View notes

sundrop-writes · 1 year ago

Text

Shared Trauma

Sub!Gar Logan x Dom!Fem!Reader

Summary:

Gar had a very hard day. You know you can’t take away the pain, so you try your best to distract him from it instead.

Sub!Gar Logan x Dom!Fem!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut and Angst. Set during Season 1, Episode 7.

Word Count: 3,600

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: some emotional angst, mentions of trauma/PTSD - Gar kills someone for the first time and is very upset about it (as in the canon), friends to lovers, takes place during Season 1 Episode 7 (“Asylum”), descriptions of canon level violence, this is a smut fic, the reader character is implied to be fat, the reader character uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina, this isn’t a hard sub/dom relationship but there is sub/dom undertones, Gar is more submissive and the reader is more dominant, the reader calls Gar ‘good boy’ and he really likes it, tiddy sucking, p in v sex, unprotected sex, the reader rides Gar, creampie, quick/desperate sex. I believe that’s everything. Most of the focus here is on the emotional side of things and not the smut so if you wanna see more PWP, definitely let me know.

A/N: fic is titled after a Pierce The Veil song because I have been obsessed with the new album, and I think it really fits here. Having a trauma with someone, but it just draws you closer together and makes you seek comfort in them. I did consider making up a mission that wasn’t in the canon for this, but I am always drawn to how sad, wet, and pathetic he is after killing the scientist, especially if we’re doing sub!Gar - he seems especially subby and in need of comfort.

...

When you woke up alone, you weren’t entirely surprised.

Of course you missed Gar’s presence beside you in bed. But you hadn’t exactly expected him to be sleeping peacefully after the day the two of you had.

You and Gar were always the type of best friends to share a bed. Both of you sought the kind of comfort that could only come from cuddling close to the warm body of a safe person. Most often, you could only fall asleep beside each other.

It had been that way since he had first been taken in by Doctor Caulder and he had come to you for comfort after he had woken up sorely missing his parents. On that first night, you had fallen asleep cradling him, and pretty much every night since then, the two of you shared a bed without question.

The two of you were just intensely affectionate people, and you saw nothing wrong with expressing your friendship through those simple touches. It was just friendly, after all.

The two of you always hugged each other tight and held hands while walking in public. There were many times when Gar put his arm around you or kissed you on the forehead, or times when you kissed him on the cheek. You weren’t shy about expressing your very platonic love for your best friend (at least, that’s what you had to tell yourself).

The two of you weren’t romantically involved - you were just very close best friends.

No matter what others thought when they looked at you, having those stereotypes in their minds about a guy and girl not being able to be ‘just friends’. Even if you wanted to play into that stereotype so badly with him - even if you wanted all of those people to be right. You would never risk ruining your friendship with him just because of some annoying crush. You were very good at keeping all of your stupid feelings trapped inside of your chest.

Especially on days like this. When life got hardest, he needed you to be there more as a friend than anything else. And you needed him too.

It was one of the reasons that he had gotten into bed with you that night, despite the fact that he scoffed at the very mention of trying to sleep. He wanted to be there for you. So you really weren’t surprised when you woke up and the bed was cold, void of his presence. Because of course, he couldn’t sleep.

It had been a long, hectic, shitty day.

After everything that had happened, you weren’t even really ‘sleeping’ yourself.

You were drifting on the edge of consciousness, so exhausted from the day that your body was trying to forcibly knock you out. Between Kory and Dick screwing loudly on one side and Rachel and her birth mother chattering brightly and even crying on the other side, you had been having a very hard time falling asleep. That, and the horrors of the day still flashing through your mind. It made for a deadly cocktail that kept you awake. If not for the pure exhaustion of day’s events weighing you down - then you probably wouldn’t have closed your eyes at all.

When you came back into a hard consciousness this time, though, you missed the feeling of Gar’s arm around your waist. You instantly missed the feeling of his pleasant warmth at your back - cradling you, making you feel safe.

Before you even had your fully eyes open, you were out of bed yourself. It was almost an instinct, being so entirely drawn to him. You wandered out to the larger living space of the very expensive condo ‘safehouse’ with your socked feet on the cold floor. You clutched at your own arms under the loose sleeves of your oversized sleep shirt as goosebumps formed on your skin.

You wondered in the back of your mind what the weather was like outside and if Dick had turned on the heat before going to bed. Then you had to wonder if adjusting the thermostat was even a concern in anyone’s mind after such a long day. It was probably only on your mind now that you were missing your human heater.

You found Gar sitting on the couch.

He had his oversized green headphones on, his phone screen providing the only real light in the room - aside from the everpresent glow of the city that leaked in from the tall glass panels that could be called walls in the ultra modern house. He was holding the screen inches away from his face as he slumped back against the unused couch.

He was likely making an imprint of himself that would be the only ‘lived in’ essence of the overwhelming cold, expensive atmosphere of the place. From the sideways tilt of the screen and the way his thumbs were moving, you easily guessed that he was playing some kind of game. Something to distract his mind from the day’s events still playing there on repeat like a bad movie.

He was wearing a pair of sweatpants that Dick had given him, dug out of a drawer of clothing that was apparently always kept in the place in case a need for it should come up. Just something else the ‘safehouse’ stocked, like food, medical supplies, and monetary currency from all different countries (because Bruce was rich and paranoid enough to be prepared for ‘any scenario’).

Gar had paired the pants with one of your tee shirts.

Something that was slightly big on him even with his natural muscle mass filling it out, bright tie-dye and worn-in cotton. It was purely you. Having the fabric draped over his body did make him feel at least somewhat at ease because it was soaked in your natural smell. It made him feel close to you even when he had gotten out of bed.

He hadn’t wanted to bother you with his tossing and turning or the bright glowing light of his phone screen when he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep properly.

He felt your presence in the room, but he didn’t look up until you crept further toward him, steering into his hazy peripheral view. He shrugged off the headphones as he looked up, locking eyes with you over the top of his phone. Your heart ached as you saw that expression so well illuminated by the sharp white light from the screen. He had the face of a kicked puppy, big wide eyes staring you down. Especially because he was making a clear effort not to let his mouth curl into a deep whimpering frown.

You knew that the events of the day had been particularly hard on him.

Of course, there was the obvious. The mental exhaustion and fear of being kidnapped and held hostage. The pulsating adrenaline of wondering if he was going to come out alive, on top of the worry he felt for you, Rachel, Dick, and Kory. The intense physical torture he had suffered at the hands of ‘scientists’ controlled by a doomsday cult.

But on top of all of it, he had experienced something far worse. Something that you knew was far more taxing on his mind.

He had killed someone for the first time.

You feared that he was too gentle for killing. Even with the amazing power he wielded.

Gar - someone who protested eating meat because he hated the idea of an animal being harmed for the sake of his nutrition. Gar - someone who always scooped up spiders and household pests to bring them outside because in his opinion, even the smallest of creatures deserve peace.

You knew that he was someone who never planned on using his powers to truly harm anyone.

But the moment the choice had been presented to him - to use his powers to harm someone, or to let you be harmed - it hadn’t really been a choice in his mind at all.

You had been backed into a corner. You thought you had been clever, breaking out of the room they had locked you in with nothing more than an earring as a lockpick. But without a weapon and without a plan, Gar saw them threatening you and became blind with rage.

Before he truly knew what was happening, he tasted flesh.

A very large part of him didn’t regret it. He would choose your life over the life of someone unknown - someone who was going to hurt you - any day of the week. He knew that, if given the same choice, he would do it all over again.

But there was another part inside of him that kept gnawing with guilt. Another part that said he was wrong, that said there should have been some other way. Something inside of him that said he was now just the villain in someone else’s story - that he wasn’t any better than the people who tried to hurt you in the first place.

In a lot of ways, that voice said, he was worse than them.

That voice made it difficult for him to sleep.

“Can’t sleep?” You hummed out, approaching the couch to come and sit beside him.

Gar did little more than shrug in response to the question. He didn’t want to admit the weakness aloud. He didn’t want to tell you that he was warring with guilt over something that the others - especially you - didn’t seem to struggle with.

You both already knew the answer. It had been a hard day for him. Of course sleep was far beyond his grasp.

In a silent, but comfortable exchange, Gar locked his phone and set it aside, entirely uncaring of saving his progress in the game while you sat down beside him. You slid onto the couch with your butt half nestled on top of his hip and your legs strung across his lap. He reached one arm in front of you, draping it over the thickness of your thighs. In a very natural move, he lazily wrapped his knuckles around your bare skin.

Neither of you bothered to acknowledge your lack of pants - the fact that you were only wearing underwear with your oversized sleep shirt. You were so used to each other at this point that casual states of undress didn’t really need to be acknowledged.

He drew mindless patterns into your skin with his thumb and slung his other arm over the back of the couch, bringing you into his lovely natural warmth. You laid your head onto his chest, easily cuddling into his side as you indulged in the familiarity. With his phone turned off, the darkness ruminating through the room was a silent cloak that enveloped the two of you. It made it much easier to fall into that routine of comfort that the two of you always embraced.

You would explicitly deny that his touch on your bare skin felt like a deadly trail of needles erupting with fire - in the best way possible. Now was not the time for your lust to be breaking through. He was your best friend, and he was clearly in need of comfort.

“I missed my human heater.” You mumbled out quietly, nuzzling into his side affectionately.

He let out a hazy breath - some attempt at a laugh in response to your affectionate nickname for him. It was something he knew well about your friendship. You had a constantly chilly body, and he would always be there to warm you up with his blazen hot skin. Just another perk from his mutation - even when he got stuck out in the snow, he never ran cold.

Now that you had acknowledged that wordless question (the reason you had gotten out of bed, why you couldn’t sleep), it was Gar’s turn to do the same.

It hung in the air over his head and turned into a stony silence in the quiet, dark room that made each of his breaths seem particularly heavy beside your ear. It was a tension that built upon itself for a few moments. You weren’t going to ask, even though you had a feeling you virtually already knew the answer. You wondered if he was going to come out and admit it before you simply dragged him back to bed and forced him to stay there out of your own selfish need.

But then he finally broke the silence by saying the words.

“Whenever I close my eyes… I just keep seeing his face.”

His words were tentative, a quiet whimper released into the room after being trapped in his chest for too long. Like electricity, shocking and impossible to avoid, you felt his pain surging through you. It caused your throat to clench painfully. You shifted slightly, turning so that you could get a better look at his face. Even in the dimness, the sad glassiness of his eyes practically glowed.

“Gar,”

You called out his name, your own voice giving away a depth of weakness that you held for him. Before you could help it, you were reaching up and cradling the side of his face with a cupped palm. Even though your hands were cool, the feeling was intensely comforting to him - just because it was you. He couldn’t help but lean into it, leaning on your hand as though it was the only thing in the world holding him up in that moment. When he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force some of that terrible guilt away, he accidentally forced the tears out and let them leak freely onto your hand.

“Oh, baby.” You cooed out.

You were entirely unsure why the nickname popped out. The sound of it on your own lips even surprised you. It was something you had never called him before. But he didn’t stop you, didn’t seem to find it unpleasant, so you continued.

“You did what you had to do.” You told him with certainty. “You saved my life.”

That was something infinitely valuable to him. But he wondered if somehow, he had diminished his own value in the process.

More thick tears slipped down his face and you thumbed them away upon instinct. He swallowed thickly before he spoke again, though this time his words were heavily entrenched in those tears.

“What if that man had a family?” Gar sniffled quietly. “What if-?”

“Of course he had a family, Gar.” You quickly cut him off, knowing that his words were quickly spiraling into a deep, putrid guilt.

That guilt was definitely something you felt the need to save him from.

Upon hearing your words, he looked at you with sharp hurt in his eyes. Clearly, he had been expecting you to argue against his point, rather than confirm it. But you had a completely different line of thinking in mind.

“Everyone does.” You continued on. “Everyone has people who miss them. But you can’t waste your sympathy on some fictional family you’ve made up for the guy in your head. Having a family and being missed doesn’t give people the right to attack others and get away with it. The possibility of being missed doesn’t mean that people can go through life without seeing the consequences of their actions.”

Gar let out a quiet huff. It was a sound of defeat - a signal saying that your words had punctured his surface, but hadn’t quite set in yet.

When he didn’t say anything in reply, you continued.

“You’re my family.” You told him firmly.

You used the hold on his cheek to fully turn his head toward yours, and you gently angled into him so that your foreheads were pressed together. Gar closed his eyes and basked in the soothing feeling as you continued talking.

“And I’m yours. And I really, truly don’t care about who lives or dies outside of us. I don’t care what happens as long as we’re safe. And we’re together.”

You wanted to add on a verbal exception for the others - for Rachel, and Dick, and Kory, and likely Rachel’s mom just for her sake. An exception for the people who had quickly also become your family in the short time since you had met them. But you had a feeling that Gar knew about this exception in your mind without you having to voice it.

Gar swallowed hard again, and this time you felt it bob harshly through him while pressed so closely together. You felt him let out a harsh breath before he spoke again.

“I guess… I guess I’m just worried about what you think of me now.” He spoke the words so quietly, as if his fear even crept into voicing this. “I don’t want my favorite person in the world to be afraid of me. Or… to think I’m a bad person.”

“I’m not afraid of you.” You quickly argued the point, a slight laughter on your lips at the mere thought of it - at the mention of being afraid of someone like him.

Yes, he could turn into a giant green tiger, and yes, seeing him use that power to its full extent for the first time had been… jarring. But you would never be afraid of someone who cried during Pixar movies and said it was ‘inhumane’ to kill the animals in Minecraft for food.

“I could never be afraid of you, Gar.” You easily added on. “You’re not a bad person. You’re such a good person. You’re so good. You’re such a good boy.”

Those words struck a cord deep within his soul, and a whimper escaped his lips before he could stop it.

“Say that again.” He told you, so pitifully that it almost sounded like begging. “Please?”

“You’re such a good boy.” You repeated yourself, running your thumb along the soft skin of his cheek once again. “You’re a good boy, Gar.”

In a moment, the air shifted.

The magnetism between the two of you came to a fierce head, and the desperation, the vulnerability that the day’s events had brought forward morphed itself from pain and sadness into something the two of you knew well in the presence of each other - pure wanting. But this time, both of you were exhausted and completely lacking the energy to have any self control to hold it back.

“Y/N-”

He barely got out a whimper of your name before you pressed forward that extra inch, stealing his breath as you pressed your lips to his. It was a perfect moment - a beautiful culmination of everything you had ever wanted since meeting him. You definitely weren’t going to waste it.

He moaned into the kiss and you echoed it back, gulping in breaths through your nose so you wouldn’t have to pull away from the soft cushion of his lips, not even for a moment. When he reached for a greedy grip on the back of your head, filthy and wanting, gently nibbling on your bottom lip - your instincts took over. You blindly swung a leg out, climbing over his waist, and he let out a sharp hiss at the feeling of your weight being planted in his lap. You were beautiful and whole as you sat down on top of him, a perfect reminder that this wasn’t just a dream as his cock quickly swelled to life under the heat of your core where it brushed against his borrowed pants.

“Please-” He whimpered into your mouth, barely able to get the word out before you sucked his bottom lip into your mouth, making him moan out shakily in the most beautiful way.

You planted your hands on his shoulders, easily taking control of the situation - not that he cared. He felt like he belonged under your controlling grip, under the pleasant weight of your body as his hard cock throbbed underneath your perfect weight. In a blur of heady kisses, swapping breath with the only man you had ever wanted like this, you got your underwear off and got his pants around his ankles. He shoved your shirt up over your breasts to possessively latch onto one of them with his mouth as you reached down and lined up his pulsing cock with your wet, wanting cunt.

“Oh-”

He let out another beautifully pathetic whimper as you sunk down onto him in one smooth movement. Your tight, wet heat quickly surrounded him and made his head spin. You felt so full that it almost choked you, but the hot pangs of electricity that shot up through your pussy easily spurred you on. You wasted no time before you began a brutal pace, bouncing on his lap as if he was nothing more than a toy for your own pleasure. The slap of skin on skin was irritably loud in the otherwise silent room, accompanied only by Gar’s harsh, animalistic pants and your choked-off moans as you struggled to comprehend the fullness of his nearly overwhelming cock.

You both needed it. You needed the intense sting of pleasure to push out the worries of the day.

With Gar’s hands gripping at your waist as if you might slip away at any moment and his face buried in your breasts, you almost didn’t hear the quiet murmur of his request when he managed to get the words out beyond that blinding pleasure.

“Say it again,” He choked out past his harsh breaths. “Please!”

It took your cock-drunk brain a moment to comprehend it, but when the gears fully churned, you instantly knew what he meant.

“You’re a good boy,”

You moaned out, reaching a hand up to pet through his hair. You took a fierce grip on those green locks, never once faltering in the harsh, unforgiving rhythm of your hips as you continued to piston yourself up and down on his cock.

“You’re a good boy, Gar.”

“Oh - fuck!” Gar grunted into your chest.

At the sound of your voice saying this, declaring that he was a good boy - he abruptly came inside you.

#sundrop writes #garfield logan x reader #garfield logan #gar logan #gar logan x reader #titans x reader #titans fanfiction #titans #dc titans #dc fanfiction

176 notes · View notes

maxwell-grant · 8 months ago

Note

Thoughts on the master of fear, Scarecrow? Also, fave design, he has so many good ones (second BTAS, his trading card one, mistress of fear, Gaslight,, fear for sale, the Arkham Games etc)?

Hey so, do any of you remember Batman Live? It was this really fun, extravagant stage show that touched on a lot of Batman hallmarks and was generally a really fun time as far as I recall. I went to the São Paulo premiere with my family, and I was a little too young to really recall most of it now, but some things I definitely remember like the huge Joker hot air balloon made of performers in bodypaint, or the comedy sequences in the Iceberg Lounge. The one thing that stuck with me the most was when the Scarecrow showed up. Batman goes to Arkham Asylum and the entire comedy camp tone drops dead, as he walks in and finds all these bodies in straightjackets hanging from chains, and the doors open as The Scarecrow walks towards him in stilts, summoning loud smoke eruptions that are poisoning and weakening Batman as he leers over him. That part actually did scare me as a kid, and it was probably the first time I had any kind of feelings on Scarecrow imprinted in me.

I was introduced to The Scarecrow as this uniquely horrifying villain who could terrify through presentation alone. I didn't particularly understand what the fear gas was, I was too taken with that ungainly thing up there with the stilts and all those people turned into cadaverous decorations, lurking from the endless halls of the asylum, who towered over everyone and placed Batman into a writhing breakdown with a few gestures, and never appeared again until the cast roll, completely absent from the rogues gatherings after. Granted, of course that's because the stilts prevented him from joining the fight scenes, but that helped to reinforce his mystery. He wasn't someone Batman was going to punch back, no no, the Scarecrow simply vanished as soon as he was done with disarming Batman, and you'd just have to pray for that unfathomable creep to never show up again.

And I'd say this might be part of why I've never been too big on the fear gas, in part because I was first enraptured by a version of The Scarecrow who clearly didn't need it that much, or at least, could do much more besides it. The Scarecrow is, I'd say actually one of my top 10 DC characters, half of that on the basis of his designs, but he's a character who tends to really, really struggle under a lack of cohesion and being subordinate to his gimmick, much more so than the other rogues. The fear gas is a good gimmick, but it is just that, a gimmick, and one that's usually reliant on how far can the story push the horror and the visuals to at least make it effectively scary for us, otherwise it gets incredibly boring very fast, and it's not even a gimmick exclusive to him since so many other characters have similar mind control/illusion abilities/gadgetry at hand (and to say nothing of Hugo Strange, who first used fear gas and who quite frankly kicks the Scarecrow's ass in terms of quality storylines, although Hugo does that to most of the other Batman villains too)

The Scarecrow has become the go-to character for hallucination sequences / revisiting character traumas, which frequently makes him less of a character and more so a convenient plot device, a problem heightened by the larger issue here that is his inconsistent motivation, or lack thereof. He lacks the kind of "breakout" stories that his fellow major Batman villains have had that usually cement an ongoing characterization, and his most famous/celebrated appearences in mass media don't really do much to combat the assertion that he is shallow and weak and whose only asset is the gas (namely, his boss fights in Arkham Asylum, which are all about the fear gas hallucination scares, and his role in Nolan's Batman, which is very fun, but also purposefully plays him up for ridicule and lack of depth next to the other villains)

These days, the Scarecrow is a tedious pip-squeak. His schemes lack verve, his cruelties stir little in the way of frissons. Haunted by cliché to an even greater extent than the other rogues, he’s often brought low with a single sock to the jaw delivered by Batman, or by finding himself on the receiving end of his own fear-inducing concoctions. He often acts as a pawn in the hands of bigger, badder third parties. He’s ostensibly a stand-in for the figure of the reductive, smug and hypocritical psychologist, nicely bundled up for the audience to humiliate in effigy - TheMindlessOnes's rogue review for Scarecrow

In "Nothing to Fear" it is explained that Jonathan Crane has always had this "thing" for scaring people. (Just as Snidely Whiplash had his "thing" for tying women to railroad tracks, I suppose.) But this is a wan kind of motive. One senses sadly that the real motive for the Scarecrow's behavior lies in the writer's need for someone to do something reprehensible. At the root of the matter may be a difficulty in sorting out the Scarecrow's ends from his means, with a consequent confusion between the goals the Scarecrow intends to reach and the tactics he employs in reaching them.

As a psychologist specializing in phobic disorders, Crane knows how to induce fear and trembling in his victims. But this tells us nothing about what the Scarecrow wants to accomplish. And without a sense or statement of what those goals are, the writer will be tempted to substitute means for end and make the Scarecrow's goal simply the scaring of people. Usually his actions are woefully underexplained - Dreams in Darkness' review by Toonzone

You might think that I'd be advocating for the Scarecrow, then, to disregard a need for a motivation and become as unknowable and horrific as possible, to recapture the awe I felt at his Batman Live self, but no, not at all. For one, I don't think the best version of anything is necessarily the one that made the most impact on me as a kid. Two, there have been some attempts over the years to remove Scarecrow from the toxin or seriously amp him up as a threat, and frankly, most of those have only made the character dramatically worse and more boring (I don't remember the name, but there was a Batman story a while ago where he goes on a big scary killing spree with no toxin just to prove he can and it was fucking terrible). Three, and the big one here, is that this pretty much forces you to get rid of Dr. Jonathan Crane, and I think that does a disservice to the character's potential. I think that's giving up on trying to make him work as a character and I don't think you have to do that.

My preferred characterization for Crane is one that emphasizes his nature as a scholar turned supervillain. The cold and misanthropic and neurotic nerd professor who spent most of his salary on books and took to terrorizing the city as a costumed criminal in part because he wanted money to buy more books. Who takes off the costume mid-crime spree to school his henchmen on specifics of brain chemistry, who gets revenge on those that wrong his students or even employs them as henchmen, still the same guy who thinks there's nothing wrong with firing a loaded gun in a packed classroom as a demonstration. Far less interested in human connections than he is in human reactions, things that can surprise him or that he can catalogue or research or write about. Someone who's not a sadist for sadism's sake, but who doesn't really see you as a person so much as he sees a test subject. I like Crane as a snarky humorous heel who thinks of himself as amoral and mature while doing horribly immoral and childish things, the Herbert West or Rusty Venture of Batman villains (James Urbaniak is definitely the voice I'd pick for him).

My preferred kind of motivation for him is something along the lines of how he's portrayed in most of Kings of Fear, where he puts Batman through the wringer in part as an attempt to get to him and cure him once and for all, or issues #4-5 of The Batman Adventures where he induces city-wide illiteracy in part as a protest against the city's failing education. In Gothtopia he makes all of Gotham hallucinate their perfect ideal lives, eliminating the crime rate but causing the suicide rate to spike up in return, and yes it does turn out to be the set-up for a really generic "fear gas everyone with blimps and make everyone twice as scared" pay off when his involvement is revealed, but I always thought Scarecrow being able and willing to do that, to create these huge and even benevolent-seeming social experiments, as an idea with legs. Fear State was frustratingly halfway there, with the initial set-up of Scarecrow pursuing a theory for fear-based social upheaval, but on top of not being very good, it also wound up that he was just doing the same old thing again and had Batman call him out as someone who just wanted to gas the city and make everyone scared again and never changes and does anything different, which seemed like Tynion defeating his own purpose of trying to make a defining Scarecrow story and address his lack of one, completely failing to address the why the character has that kind of problem and upending itself for meta commentary before doing anything interesting.

Even Kings of Fear, easily the best Scarecrow story of the past decades if not outright ever, kinda ends in a bit of a cop-out where The Scarecrow has to be wrong ("Even when he's telling the truth, he's lying, and even when he's right, he's wrong", Gordon tells Batman to reassure him, to nullify the past 5 issues criticizing and tearing into Batman from every angle imaginable), and he has to be a sadist who just wanted to fuck with Batman and uncover his worst fears because it's what he does. Why does Scarecrow want to unravel people and wrench their worst fears into the surface? Because he's a sadist who gets off on it? I guess that's the canon answer most of the time, but it's such a boring, weak one. Because he wants revenge on the world / bullies? Still weak, done better by other villains even. Because of an unspeakably traumatic childhood that taught him the world was ruled by fear and therefore driving him to become it's master? Okay, but it still doesn't actually answer what he wants to get out of doing what he does.

We know that Jonathan Crane was a fragile youth routinely terrorized and abused by others and plainly traumatized by his experiences. We know that he is learned and brilliant and given to introspection and fantasy.

From this base it is not hard to imagine Crane turning into a man fiercely devoted to solitude and study and capable of a murderous rage when his privacy is violated. It is possible, in other words, to imagine him as a reactive force, in the mold of Freeze, systematically terrorizing and destroying anyone who crosses him but rarely wanting to start trouble himself.

Or we can imagine him as a mercenary, a specialist hired by others for nefarious purposes, but who is not himself strongly motivated by particular rages or desires.

But if the Scarecrow is going to remain a sadist and a sadist only—if he is going to be moved only by the psychotic desire to harm others—we ought to be made to feel the seductive power that sadism has over its practitioners; we should be made to feel and appreciate the hot and sour joy that comes from the purposeful humiliation of another - Dreams in Darkness review by Toonzone

It's kind of a frustrating pattern in a lot of his stories where he gives a reason for doing something, and it turns out to be a cover for yet another sadistic fear gas attack, but his cover reason was a more interesting motivation for him than what he actually was going for. A villain who mainly just gets a kick out of hurting people and concocts bullshit excuses and reasons to justify said hurting? The Joker does that already, but the Joker always clearly states what he wants and has all those ways to make cruelty for cruelty's sake entertaining. If that's all The Scarecrow is also, no wonder he's going to be so incredibly lacking most of the time (nevermind the fact that he's never going to be the guy most infamous for gassing Gotham City).

Yes, he may be sadistic and cruel, he may enjoy what he does too much, and maybe there really isn't any kind of realistic explanation as to why a man would dress up as a scarecrow to commit terrorism and spray innocent people with chemicals to make them terrified, but refer to the guy he's fighting. "Realistic" is the wrong term. The issue here is less "why" the Scarecrow does what he does, and more what is he hoping to get out of it. Granted, this is less of a concern if you're playing The Scarecrow as a figure of horror, someone who's not even really human underneath that outfit. But I think that locks away much of his versatility. The Scarecrow needs Jonathan Crane, and I think there's good stuff to like about that awful man.

I like Jonathan Crane the sardonic pragmatic scientist who still embraces his hopelessly ridiculous life, a guy who's not nearly as above it all as he'd like to be and has wants and needs moreso than he really likes to admit. I like him as a book lover, as a fan of horror, I like him as the kind of guy who'd send fan mail to Elvira and break out of Arkham just to catch a Halloween parade and guest star in a Scooby-Doo movie for a change. I like him as someone who'd have a decent working relationship with the other rogues and pal with the Legion of Doom and get into a physical spat with Riddler over a chess game. Someone who custom-makes his own outfits and equipment, who makes scythes out of animal bones to fight Batman with, who picked the scarecrow motif in part because it was a term of derision his colleagues used on him.

Who pours himself over his research as he records his theories in a tape recorder, the kind of guy who grouses at having to clean another cell because he's getting annoyed at his test subjects killing themselves, seriously guys the cleaning supplies for this batch were as fresh as they could be, and the iguana amygdalas I used should be stopping your neocortexes from overreacting this strongly. Subject #3 over there got over his fear of centipedes yesterday and he hasn't screamed all morning, I'm gonna need the rest of you to stop being such babies, okay?

It must be terribly liberating for Crane, to transcend mere ugliness and become inhuman. Of all the rogues, he’s easily the one who takes Batman’s “I need a disguise; I shall become a beast of the night” schtick and runs with it the farthest - TheMindlessOnes's rogue review for Scarecrow

And that's for Jonathan Crane, man of science. The Scarecrow, however, is not science, he is unreason incarnate, and to me what most makes The Scarecrow work as a Batman villain has nothing to do with "they both use fear as a weapon", I always thought that was a bit shallow of an angle to pursue (most, if not all, the villains rely on fear, it comes with the whole "crime" thing). The two have a stronger connection via the costume, the theatricality, the becoming a creature of the night angle. None of the other major Batman villains are going into their costumes the way The Scarecrow is. They have their personas and varying degrees of division between them and their "real selves", but few of them are wearing outright identity-separating Halloween Monster Costumes with separate names and personalities they can dip in and out of at their convenience.

And I'm gonna interrupt myself to answer your second question. I couldn't pick just one design, so counting the Batman Live one above, I picked 10. These are not in order and they're not necessarily how I'd design him, I'd say my actual favorite Scarecrow designs are fan-made, but if I was going to pick out of "official" material these are the ones I'd go for. It's time for:

(Left-to-right: George Pratt's Scarecrow pin-up, Phil Jimenez's Scarecrow design, Ed Natividad's concept art for Suicide Squad)

(Left-to-right: His TNBA design by Bruce Timm as drawn by Luciano Vecchio, Alex Ross's design for Justice, and Tim Sale's Scarecrow)

(Left-to-right: Kelley Jones' design for Kings of Fear, Jeremy Raapack's design for Legends of the Dark Knight #25, Scarecrow's design in Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo!)

*cough*, anyway: Most of the other rogues with their signature suits or masks or body distortions don't tend to have closets full of different variant Batsuits and scarecrow costumes to choose and devote to their cause and ideal, that they sit at night tailoring on how to make scarier or more loaded with weapons, that they might even have conversations with, things that sit in their closets waiting because both of these brilliant men, men who have (or at least had) different civilian lives, men who could stop doing this at any time, who both decided that becoming a Halloween monster prowling the streets to inflict terror is a necessary, even productive use of their time.

And I think that's the key word I want to end here, productive. I think The Scarecrow needs to be more productive. Because even if he's not aware of it, he is achieving progress via his research, and there is one way he's proved his ideas: Batman walks out of every fight they have stronger. Every encounter they have is a test that Batman resists and walks out of more able to cope with his own traumas, or at least, better able to resist them being weaponized against him. I always wanted to explore the idea that Crane is genuinely convinced he's doing people a favor or at least achieving something via all these horrible Scarecrow campaigns, and one thing he has achieved is that Batman is never not prepared for chemical attacks or assaults on his mind, Batman resists ungodly trials of willpower and determination and courage, in part because he has to deal with the Scarecrow pumping terror juice in his brain semi-regularly.

The fact that Crane loses and gets beaten up and has to retry schemes again and again and kill people and join the costume parade just to lure Batman is fairly inconsequential to him, so long as it gets results. He's not interested in dissecting Batman's brain or being more like Batman, that's Hugo Strange's thing. Hugo Strange needs Batman to be fearless, allmighty and perfect, where as Jonathan Crane wants nothing more than to unearth and study the fears and kinks in the armor, the dead last thing he wants is a perfect man. Hugo Strange wants to crawl naked into the mask of the great and terrible fascist and never come out, where as The Scarecrow wants to crack open all the masks in the world and feast luridly on whatever seeps out.

Batman isn't just the ultimate trial against his fear-ruled worldview (or even affirmation), and he isn't just a breakthrough waiting to happen: he might be his greatest success as of yet. A case study on the success of exposure therapy, proof of potential medicinal applications for his formula, the greatest guinea pig of all time because he won't die no matter what you pump into him, you name it. So what if all those other people couldn't stomach the procedure, so what if those precious innocents are too weak and stupid and useless to not get in the way of research, it's clearly worked wonders for those who could take it.

And if the future belongs to men like Batman, if all of these superheroes and supervillains are the way things are going to be like forever, if the future is Bat-shaped and as vast and uncertain and horrible as the forces shaping it, the future needs to be prepared. The future needs to grapple with it's past and face it's greatest horrors and become stronger for it. There is no such thing as overcoming fear, there is only living with it, embracing it, bowing to the primordial instinct that knows the answer before you do. Mankind grew and developed it's intelligence and tools out of fear, fear of the bigger predators out there, fear of the other cavemen, fear of starvation and death and everything they couldn't understand and master until they learned to fear it. What better knowledge to pass along than fear? And who is better qualified to teach about fear?

Maybe Crane isn't just another monster with a grudge, maybe he isn't another costumed revenge killer, maybe he isn't just a power-tripping sadist bully out to torment others because he can, and maybe he isn't a hopeless traumatized madman who destroyed his professional and personal life in a monstrous quest to satisfy an obsession ruling his soul.

Maybe he is a sane response to an insane situation. Ever heard that one before?

#replies tag #superheroes #batman #dc comics #scarecrow #the scarecrow #jonathan crane #gotham city

88 notes · View notes

mymoodwriting · 1 year ago

Photo

10.2k, trauma, abuse, domestic abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, needles, drugs, medication, choking, suffocation, accidental murder, temporary death, mentions of suicide, guns, asylum patient, mind control, smut, non-con, manipulation, fingering, handjob, penetration, unprotected sex, yandere (@starillusion13)

“Found you.”

The voice sent shivers down your spine. For a moment you were frozen in fear, but as you began to hear footsteps approaching you broke out into a run. You didn’t bother looking back. You knew that voice all too well and your only option here was to run. It was already so late into the night, and nobody else seemed to be around. As you ran you reached for your phone, dialing emergency services. You were running out of breath, looking for a place to hide. As you heard someone answer the phone, a hand was suddenly over your mouth, pulling you back.

“You can’t run from me anymore.”

❤

Your eyes shot open and you jumped up in bed, breathing heavily as your mind was racing. You gripped the bed sheets tightly, taking in your surroundings and starting to settle back into reality. It was just a bad dream, just another bad dream. You laid back in bed, eyes losing focus as you looked at the ceiling, trying to think of anything else so you could forget this nightmare all the quicker. The problem was it wasn’t the first time you had dreamt of something like that, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

Once your mind had settled, and your breathing was even, you got up. You grabbed your phone and stared at the date for a while. It had nearly been a year since you last saw him, even in your nightmares about him, you never saw his face. His voice alone was enough to haunt you. At first you adored it, hearing such sweet words from him, hearing your own name, but now the memory itself made you feel uneasy. Even if you were living a normal life, he still clung to you like a shadow. Sometimes he wasn’t visible, but he was always there, and you could do nothing to get rid of him.

You had some breakfast and got ready for the day, taking a moment to let the sun wash over you. It was a silly substitute to the warmth you once got from another. You walked over to your bus stop, thinking about what your day would look like, already forgetting about the morning. The day itself was normal, and you figured it would end that way, but I guess that was too much to ask for. As you walked to your apartment you noticed two figures in black waiting outside your door. You thought to run away and call the cops but they noticed you first, waving you over and taking steps in your direction.

“Miss y/n, we’re with the police and have a few questions for you.”

“… pah… police?”

You were thinking of running, but when they said they were police you let your guard down a bit. The two got close and showed you their badges, detectives Choi and Kim.

“Uh… what is this about… I’m a good citizen and-”

“Can we speak somewhere more private?”

“Yeah… sure…”

You let the two into your place, offering them something to drink and sitting down with them in your living room. You were visibly nervous, and they noticed.

“You’re not in trouble.” Detective Choi assured you. “We just had some questions for you regarding Wen Junhui.”

“Oh… you mean…”

“I believe he goes by Jun.”

“What’s this about? I haven’t heard from him since…”

“Nearly a year ago he was institutionalized for…” Detective Kim began but stopped. “Well you know the rest. You haven’t had any contact with him since, have you?”

“No. Not at all. He wrote me letters for a while, but I never read them and just sent them back. Eventually he stopped, and I haven’t heard from him at all. Nor did I ever try to make contact with him.”

“But you do know where he is?”

“The facility that has him in their care, yes, I’m aware of it.”

“You said he sent you letters.” Detective Choi continued. “And eventually stopped. You haven’t received anything strange in the mail lately, have you?”

“Nothing at all. As you know I’ve moved, and I doubt he knows my current address. What is this about anyway? Does he have a hearing or something? I was informed he’d remain institutionalized because of his diagnosis and beha… vior…”

You trailed off as things started to fall into place. It was late at night and two detectives had been waiting for you at your door. Now they were asking if you had any contact with that guy, especially recently.

“He broke out… didn’t he…”

“Unfortunately he-.”

“How!? Those type of places-”

“Please calm down, miss. You’re correct that he has no idea about your current whereabouts, we’re just asking for information about him.”

“Information!? What can I possibly give you? The police report on him says everything you need to know! He’s a stalker, he abused me, he kidnapped me, he locked me up, he nearly killed me! He’s a psycho who got off easy going to some asylum for the mentally insane! And now you’re here telling me he escaped! How exactly do you think I can help you!”

“We just-”

“GET OUT!”

You expected some decency, for the two to get up and leave on their own. They did get up, but instead of leaving, they locked the door.

“Wa… what are you doing…”

“I’m afraid we can’t leave until we get what we came for.”

You grabbed your phone and bolted for your room, only for Kim to grab you and pin you against a wall. You tried to break free, but he was much stronger than you.

“Who are you!”

“We’re just trying to help, honest.” Choi said. “We’re trying to find Jun, and you’re our best bet.”

“I want nothing to do with him!”

“We’re well aware of his history with you, and understand you have no ties to him, but he’ll be looking for you. So we need to know everything. If anything strange has happened lately, any friends reach out and seem weird, anything at all. You might not be aware of his presence, but he could be nearby.”

“He… he…”

“Once we’re satisfied we’ll go, and you won’t see us again.”

“No… no, I don’t know anything!”

“Then just let us be sure.”

You were held still as the other jabbed a needle into your neck. You screamed bloody murder, thrashing around, but soon enough you felt yourself growing weak. You thought you’d pass out, but instead wound up in this drowsy state. Kim set you down on the couch, keeping his hands on your shoulders so you wouldn’t slump over.

“What are you gonna…”

“This won’t hurt, promise, but it might feel weird.”

“Uh…”

You could vaguely make out Choi getting something from his pocket, like a small tin case. Then you felt something small and cold pressed against the side of your head. It made you shiver, and then you felt some weird tingle, like static in your head.

“Why don’t we do a quick trip down memory lane to make sure we didn’t miss anything.”

❤

“Jun!”

You ran into the arms of your best friend, your lover, your everything. He picked you up with ease and spun you around before peppering your face with kisses.

“And where have you been all day, my love?”

“Working. Someone has to pay the bills around here.”

“We both pay the bills, not just you.”

“True… and what have you been up to today?”

“Trying out a new recipe for my love.”

“Is that what the delicious smell is?”

“Yes. It’s almost done, so wash up for dinner.”

“Will do.”

You had known Jun for most of your life, and we’re always so close. It only felt natural that your friendship would evolve into something more. Jun confessed to you with a bouquet of roses and poured his heart out, bringing you to tears. You had both loved each other for a while, but he was the one with courage to say it first. From there everything was like a dream. He was so perfect, and he convinced you to move in with him after a few months. Your life together felt like something out of a fairy tale at times.

“Open wide.”

Jun loved to feed you, especially when he cooked. Not to mention giving you a bath at the end of the week.

“This tastes divine.”

“Only the best for my love.”

He cuddled with you every night, and every morning you had to fight with him to let you go. It was adorable, even if sometimes you didn’t have time for it. You knew he did it all out of love, and you couldn’t fault him for that.

“I’m going to be home late tonight, so don’t wait up.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m hanging out with the girls tonight.”

“No, no, no.” Jun reached over and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you back down into bed with him. “Let’s have a movie night together, just the two of us.”

“Hm, that does sound tempting, but I haven’t seen the girls in months now. So a night out is overdue.”

“Do you have to?” Jun pouted. “I don’t want you out alone.”

“I won’t be alone.”

“Yes you will, I won’t be there. It’s gonna be so lonely.”

You giggled. “Don’t be silly, I’ll be fine.”

“Then can I come?”

“Girls night, sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“No fair.”

Jun was very reluctant to let you go, but he knew he wouldn’t get you to change your mind about the matter. He called you often that night, just checking in and asking if you needed a ride, wanting to know where you were. After a few drinks though you stopped answering and just focused on enjoying yourself. He didn’t take that well though.

“Y/n!”

“Huh? Jun? What are you doing here? How did you find-”

“Why didn’t you answer your phone, I was so worried!” Jun came over and pulled you into a hug. “I thought something had happened to you.”

“I told you I was hanging out with the girls tonight.”

“And you couldn’t answer my calls or texts?”

“I answered you ten times already.”

“Look at you, your face is burning up. It’s time you came home anyway, let’s go.”

“What, no, Jun.” You pulled away. “The night’s still young, and the party is far from over. I’m fine, so you can go now.”

“No, you’re coming with me. If you can’t even answer your phone, then you’re done.”

“Ya! You’re not my dad! Now go.”

“Y/n-”

“Go.”

“No, you’re coming home-”

“I’m not. I’ll stay with a friend tonight, so don’t wait up.”

Jun laughed. “Hilarious.”

Jun grabbed your arm, his grasp a lot stronger than before, and he started dragging you away from the others. Your friends immediately got up and tried to get him to let go, but he pushed them all away, and considering most of you were already tipsy, they lost balance quickly.

“Jun!”

“If this is how you’re gonna behave, then you’re not going out again.”

“Jun, let me go!”

You couldn’t break free, but when you got to the car you started fighting him. He had opened the door for you and was trying to get you in, but you refused.

“Don’t be a brat!”

Jun slapped you, making you freeze. It wasn’t a hard hit, but your cheek still burned from the impact. You grabbed your cheek with your free hand, slowly looking back at Jun.

“Get in the car.”

In your state of shock it was easy to get you in the car, he even put your seat belt on for you and then slammed the door shut. You watched him walk to the drivers side, silently getting in the car and driving off. You stayed quiet the whole ride over, waiting for him to open the door and pull you out of the car too. Neither of you spoke until you were in the house.

“I’m sorry about-”

“You hit me… you actually…”

“You’re drunk and-”

“YOU HIT ME!”

“And you weren’t listening to me! I told you I didn’t want you going out tonight, and you completely ignored me.”

“I have my own life you know, a life outside of you.”

“No you don’t. I’m your whole world, and what I say goes.”

“Says who?”

“Me! Nobody knows you like me, and I know what’s best for you. Being out late and drinking, it’s not the best idea, and you shouldn’t be doing that.”

“Oh, unless you’re there, right?”

“You need someone to look after you.”

“I can look after myself. In case you didn’t realize, I was doing just fine without you.”

“Hardly.”

“How did you even find me anyway? I didn’t tell you where I was.”

“That was the first thing that made me worry! I had to use the tracking app to-”

“Tracking app!”

“Yes. The one for couples, so we can always-”

“When the hell did you install that in my phone?! And without telling me!”

You pulled your phone out of your bag and began looking through your apps, seeing what he was talking about. You couldn’t believe you had never noticed it before. You were about to uninstall it when Jun snatched your phone away from you.

“Ya! Give that back!”

“You won’t be going out for a while, so won’t need it.”

“Excuse me!”

“It’s late, and you’ve had dinner, so you should get to bed.”

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“Very.”

“You’re unbelievable.” You headed for the door. “I swear you’re acting crazy right now.”

“Where are you going?”

“Anywhere else!”

“You are so full of jokes tonight.”

Jun grabbed your arm again and dragged you to the bedroom. He started stripping off your clothes and you were quick to stop him.

“What are you doing!”

“You’re drunk and need help getting your clothes off so you can shower.”

“Get your hands off!”

“Come on, babe, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“I said let go!”

Your actions and words were met with another slap, stunning you into silence once more. You felt tears sting your eyes, and then Jun pressed a kiss to your head.

“I’m sorry, love, that seems to be the only way to get you to listen right now.”

“Please let go…”

“I’m trying-”

“I’ll take a shower and get ready for bed…”

“But-”

“Can you make me some tea?”

Jun smiled. “Of course, baby, I’ll make your favorite.”

“Thank you.”

Jun gave you another forehead kiss before leaving you alone. You stood in place for a while before stripping out of your clothes and going into the shower. You didn’t know when the tears started mixing with the water, but you stayed there for a while and let yourself cry. The day had started out fine, but now everything felt like a nightmare. Everything you thought you knew about Jun had changed so fast, you felt like the boy you had known, had fallen for, wasn’t even real. Eventually Jun knocked on the door, and you told him you’d be out in a minute. You dried your hair and got into some clothes, meeting him in the kitchen for tea.

“Here you are.”

“Thank you…”

“I’m sorry about tonight, love.” Jun softly pet your head. “I didn’t like you being out there alone. It was better I take you home.”

“Hm…”

You took a sip of your tea, the warmth making you feel a bit better. Although you tasted something off about it. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, and while you were thinking Jun tipped the cup towards your lips.

“Drink up while it’s warm, it’ll help you sleep.”

You wound up drinking every drop so as to not spill anything, and you definitely felt funny. You had been tipsy earlier, and practically sobered up in the shower, but this felt different. You were feeling drowsy, and Jun took your cup from you before you dropped it.

“Jun…”

“Sh, it’s late, you should get some sleep.”

“I don’t… I feel…”

Your legs gave out and Jun scooped you up in his arms. You could barely make out his face, let alone his words. With whatever strength you had you held onto him, mumbling about what was going on, but you were incapable of getting an answer. Despite your effort to hold on, you eventually fell into darkness.

❤

You woke with a minor headache, snuggling against your pillow when you felt something cold on your leg. You lazily sat up, thinking your leg wasn’t covered, but it was, so you pulled back the blanket to see a chain. Now you were awake, and you grabbed the chain, following it to the leg of the bed frame, seeing that you were locked up.

“Wa… Jun!”

You were tugging on the chain when Jun came in, and he immediately stopped you. He could see the look of panic on your face, trying to calm you down.

“Easy there, baby, did you have a bad dream?”

“What is this? Why did you chain me up?”

“Oh, that, just to make sure you’re safe.”

“Safe?”

“You had a crazy night, so you should stay in bed today and rest. This is just a precaution.”

“Take it off, now!”

“Baby.”

“Now! Where did you even get a chain! And about last night, you were acting so crazy! I thought you’d be fine today, but this is unacceptable.”

“I’m just looking out for you and doing what’s best.”

“I can decide that for myself.”

“You’ve shown me otherwise.”

“What?”

“Last night is proof enough. I’ve always been worried about the company you keep and-”

“Stop, just stop it. Get this chain off, and then we can talk.”

“We don’t need to.”

“Jun!”

“Since you’re up, I’ll bring you breakfast.”

“No, Jun!”

He didn’t listen and left you to struggle with the chain again. When he came back he had you sit against the headboard, setting down a tray for you and trying to feed you, but you refused him.

“Baby, you have to eat.”

“Not until you let me go.”

“That’s for your own good.”

“…”

“Baby-”

You flipped over the tray, getting food all over him and the bed. He stayed in place for a moment before quietly getting up and gathering the dishes. He left without a word and then came back to properly clean up, removing the stained bed sheets, and anything else that was dirty. You watched him in silence, glaring daggers at him, but he paid you no mind. Your clothes had gotten stained, but he didn’t do anything about that at first. Although when he came back with a glass of water you were confused.

“Here. At least hydrate.”

“No thanks.”

“Seriously?”

“I know you put something in the tea last night… you think I’m gonna trust anything else from you?”

“Hm. I guess that’s fair.”

Jun drank the glass of water and set it down on the nightstand, going over to his dresser and rummaging around for something. From where you were you managed to see him pull out a small box, then there was a needle and vial in his hand.

“Jun…”

“You need a bath after that ordeal, and if you’re not gonna behave on your own, I have other methods.”

“What is that! Where did you get that!”

“It won’t hurt.”

“Jun!”

As he approached you tried to get away, but you could only move so far before the chain went taut. Jun crawled onto the bed, and then on top of you, keeping you pinned with his body weight.

“Ju… Jun…”

“It’s just some medicine.”

“Get that away.”

“Sh, sh, sh, just hold still.”

Jun had always been stronger than you, so he kept you still with ease, exposing your neck and driving the needle into you. The pinch made you close your eyes, and you could hear your own racing heart in your ears. A tear slid down your cheek, and a moment later Jun was wiping it away.

“Don’t cry my love, I’m just doing what’s best for you.”

“Please… let me go…”

“Sh, let’s get you cleaned up, okay.”

You were already feeling weak, and Jun moved you with ease. You barely noticed when he took off the chain, or began to get you out of your clothes. He disappeared for a moment, and the picked you up in his arms. He took you into the bathroom, removing the last bits of clothing and putting you in a warm bath. He actually felt nice, but that might have been the drugs talking. Jun tended to bathe you on friday nights, so this wasn’t difficult for him. Especially since you were nothing but a doll at his mercy like this.

At some point you did fall asleep, waking up dressed and in bed like nothing happened. Although the chain was back on your leg. You tried to sit up, but found it difficult to do so and just went back to sleep. When you woke up later Jun was there, helping you up so you could eat. You were still weak, so you couldn’t throw the food like before, but you did keep your mouth shut. That is until Jun grabbed your face and forced a spoon full of food past your lips. You had no choice but to eat, you were hungry after all.

“There you go, that’s a good girl.”

You never really recovered from that day. Jun kept you chained up and in that drowsy state. You slept a lot, and you had no sense of time besides the daylight, but you couldn’t always trust that. Jun always made sure you ate, and cleaned you up too. You could barely understand anything he said, but you could make out the smile he always had on his face. You were powerless to stop him, but you knew you needed to figure out some way out of this. It was hard to come up with a plan when you could barely think for yourself , but fortune was on your side.

One morning you had woken up with Jun, getting your face peppered with kisses as he cooed and snuggled against you. When he got up you noticed his phone on the nightstand. He’d be back soon, but you couldn’t waste this opportunity. You crawled over and grabbed his phone, shakily sending a message to a mutual friend of yours, and signing it with your name. You had to be quick, so you only begged them to come over. From there you scrambled to delete the message so Jun wouldn’t find out. As you were putting it back on the nightstand Jun came back and quickly took it from you.

“No, no, no, baby, that’s not for you.”

You were nervous about getting caught, but after inspecting the phone he didn’t find anything suspicious. Now you could only wait and hope your message had been received.

“I’ll get started on breakfast.”

Jun tucked you back into bed and went off to start preparations. He was nearly finished when he heard a knock at the door. He wasn’t expecting anything so he was quite perplexed. As he approached the knocking got louder and more aggressive. He checked to see who it was, finding a familiar face on the other side of the door. So he opened it, but only a bit.

“Hello, Misu, what brings you by so early?”

“Here to see y/n and talk about plans for the weekend. Can I come in?”

“Unfortunately y/n is sick and isn’t accepting visitors right now.”

“Oh dear, is it a fever? She rarely gets sick, let me see her.”

“That’s alright, I wouldn’t want you getting sick.”

“It’s no bother. I’m sure you’re tired looking after her day and night, I can give you a bit of down time.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ll let her know you stopped by.” Jun tried to close the door, but Misu stopped him. “Yes?”

“I’m not leaving until I see her.”

“She’s sick and-”

“And no one has heard from her in weeks. Not even her job.”

“She’s on sick leave.”

“Prove it.”

“I’m sorry, are you doubting me?”

“Not at all. I just want to see my friend and make sure she’s alright.”

“She is, I assure you.”

“And you expect me to trust you after that night?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Oh you know, when you showed up unannounced and dragged y/n out of the restaurant. You fucken hit her! Twice!”

“We had a little disagreement and-”

Jun didn’t get to finish as Misu pushed their way into the house, calling out your name. They didn’t get far before Jun grabbed them.

“If you don’t leave now I will call the cops and have you arrested for trespassing.”

“Go ahead, call them. I’m curious to know which of us will end up in handcuffs.”

Misu pulled away and stormed into the house, still calling out your name. Jun glared and watched them go, starting to think about what to do. The sound of your name stirred you from your slumber. For a moment you thought you were just hearing things, but it was getting louder and louder. You tried to sit up, but you could barely manage, so you just screamed out for help with your voice, starting to choke on your sobs.

“Holy fuck, y/n!”

Seeing Misu in your line of sight made you cry tears of joy. They had come, and they knew you weren’t alright.

“What the hell is all this, what happened?”

“Hel… help…”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going to call the police, this is fucken crazy.”

Misu dialed emergency services, putting the phone down for a moment and focusing on the chain, trying to figure out how to remove it. You were so focused on them that you didn’t notice Jun coming into the room, not until he had Misu in a choke hold.

“Jun!”

“Sh, sh, sh, don’t worry about this baby, just an uninvited guest.”

You couldn’t do anything as Jun dragged Misu out of the room. You started crying again, thinking you had made matters worse. In between your sobs you heard a voice, and then realized Misu left their phone, and it was still on a call. You quickly found it, realizing the operator was still on the line. You composed yourself enough to ask for help, telling them you were being held captive, managing to give your address too.

“I know that… give me that!”

When Jun returned and found you on the phone he quickly took it from you and hung up. He was glaring at you, but before he could say anything he noticed Misu had left her messages open, and there was the one you had secretly sent from Jun’s phone.

“You… you… how could you!”

“Jun, please… please…”

“After everything I’ve done! You, you, how dare you!”

“… please… just stop this…”

“We have to go, we can’t stay here anymore.”

“Jun-”

“Quiet! Not another word from you.”

You certainly quiet down when you saw Jun with another needle. You could barely struggle beneath him, and felt the pinch on your neck. Jun removed the chain and picked you up in his arms, taking you out to the car, and that’s when you heard the sirens. A weak smile appeared on your lips, feeling a sense of relief. So you let your eyes shut, hoping to wake up in a better place.

❤

“Y/n… y/n, please wake up…”

“Hm…”

Once again your name brought you back from the void. Everything was a blur as you opened your eyes, your senses slowly taking in the world. You heard a steady beeping noise, the white of the room hurting your eyes. Although your movements didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y/n! You’re awake! Doctor! Doctor!”

Soon enough you could make out Misu’s face, but your vision was soon blurred by tears as you saw the bruises on their neck.

“Misu… Misu, are you okay…”

“Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize something was wrong sooner. I couldn’t fathom Jun… I’m sorry…”

“He… what happened…”

“He was arrested, and is currently being processed. I already told the police everything, and even asked about getting you a restraining order.”

“… what happened to us…”

“Don’t waste tears on that monster. Everything’s going to be alright now.”

The doctor looked you over once you were awake.Thankfully your health was alright, you just had drugs you needed to flush out of your system. Although the doctor did mention the withdrawal wouldn’t be pleasant either. Misu promised to stay with you, not planning to leave your side anytime soon. You’d be staying in the hospital for a while, and they’d be your overnight guest. It was weird getting back to normal. The world was no longer spinning and you could actually focus on things and be awake again. The withdrawal wasn’t fun though, but you were in a hospital, so nothing bad could really happen to you.

“What the fuck do you mean he got out!”

Misu reacted for you when some detectives came by, telling you that Jun had gotten out on bail. He would still be prosecuted for assault, and kidnapping, but for now he was free on the streets.

“What stupid… look at me! Look at her! A guy like that shouldn’t be out of prison!”

“I’m sorry, but that’s the law here.”

“What if he comes here, tries to threaten us to drop the charges?”

“We’ll have someone posted outside until the court hearing.”

“Unbelievable.”

“Misu… we’ll be okay… right?”

“Of course. You heard them, we’ll have our own security detail, and I doubt that asshole knows where we are anyway. No one’s gonna talk to him and tell him. We’ll get him arrested at court and get that restraining order as well.”

Misu’s words reassured you, so you could rest easy. You had a date set, so now you had to wait for that. It gave you some piece of mind, and that’s all you could ask for right now. Once you were better you were allowed to go to the garden to get some fresh air. You’d probably be discharged soon, and Misu offered you to stay with them while you figured out what to do next. Your other friends also came to visit you, glad to know you were alright and also apologizing. You didn’t blame them though. You and Jun had always been so perfect, but things just went south so fast. You thought everything would be alright now, but that wasn’t the case.

You were sleeping peacefully when you heard some noises outside your room. You groggily woke up, seeing someone come into the room. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, seeing the white coat and believing a doctor had come to see you. It was strange to have a visit at night, but you figured it was for good reason. Before you could ask there was a rag in your face, and you were pushed back against your pillow. Now that they were close you could see their eyes, and you’d recognize those anywhere. You tried to scream and squirm, but the chemicals were already taking hold.

When you had gotten weak he stepped away, doing the same thing to Misu who had not woken up from the commotion. You could barely keep your eyes open, and you certainly couldn’t scream for help. Once Jun was done with her, he brought over a wheelchair, getting you into it, and putting a mask on your face. He gently pet your head and mumbled something about taking you home, but you couldn’t do anything to stop him. He wheeled you right past the officer posted outside your room, even greeting them on the way out. You desperately wished to say or do anything, but you were barely holding onto consciousness.

You could barely make out the elevator ride, but you were aware enough to realize you had been taken to the parking garage. Jun easily got you into the backseat of the car, laying you down and wrapping you up in a blanket. He found your attempt to struggle adorable, but just told you to get some rest and that everything would be alright. You couldn’t fight the drugs for much longer, and ultimately passed out. Completely unaware of what awaited you when you woke up.

❤

The new place was so unfamiliar to you, the first thing it did was strike fear into your heart. You felt like no one would find you, and that’s exactly what Jun wanted. You woke up as you arrived, Jun carrying you inside and into the bedroom. Of course he chained you up again, but things were different this time. You weren’t on his drugs anymore, and now that you were awake, you were gaining back your strength. You couldn’t just be weak this time.

So when you had the chance you attacked, grabbing Jun from behind and trying to choke him out. He was quite surprised by your actions, but he still had the upper hand. He slammed you down on the bed and pried your hands off him. You would have thought he’d scramble away, but instead he quickly pinned you down, glaring daggers at you. Of course you were afraid, but you couldn’t just let that fear take over and make you helpless.

“When did you get so brave?”

“You should be in prison!”

“And away from you? Do you have any idea how agonizing these last few days have been without you?”

“They’ve been heaven for me.”

“Liar!”

“It’s true! Being away from you, being free! I don’t know what happened, but you’re not the Jun I fell in love with!”

“I am! I’m the same Jun you’ve known your whole life.”

“No you’re not!”

“Yes I am! The same man who has loved you for years, who couldn’t bear the thought of you being with another! I’ve always loved you so deeply, I can’t live without you! Don’t make me lose you again… please…”

“This isn’t love! You kept me trapped at home like some animal and-”

“You were gone! Out in the world without me, and I didn’t know if you were alright. You scared me to death that night, I couldn’t handle the thought of losing you again. I had to keep you safe!”

“This isn’t how you keep someone safe! This is kidnapping and-”

“It’s just the two of us. No one will find us here, we’ll be okay, and we’ll be together, that’s all that matters.”

“You’re crazy if you think I still love you after all this…”

“Don’t say that… I know you love me…”

“I don’t know you…”

“…”

You could see the heartbreak in Jun’s eyes, and it terrified you. He was acting like a total psycho, yet it seemed like his feelings for you were sincere. It made you wonder if he was always like this, if you had never known this side to him. Although the answer was clear as day now. He had always been so clingy, never really letting you go out without him, and even when you did, he’d check in every hour or more. You were so blinded by love you couldn’t see the warning signs, no one around you really did.

“Liar… you’re a fucken liar! You think you can just throw away all those years of our love! All your stupid so-called friends have been feeding you lies! Taking you away from me when I’m the only person you need! Because of them you were in the hospital! Because… you called them… you were the one… you betrayed me!”

“Then just kill me already! I’d rather be dead than be locked up with you!”

“You don’t mean that!”

“If you won’t do it, I’ll do it myself!”

“Liar! You… you… if you don’t love me anymore, then I can’t let you love another! It’s only me!”

“What-”

In the heat of the moment Jun wrapped his hands around your throat and started to squeeze. You didn’t register what he was doing at first until you found it difficult to breathe. You reached up to get him off, but he didn’t budge.

“Ju… Jun… Jun…”

“You’re mine, and only mine!”

“… jun…”

You couldn’t hold out for long, the edges of your vision going black. You said you’d kill yourself just to get away from him, but you didn’t think he’d do it himself. The lack of oxygen weakened you by the second, so you stopped fighting all together and just let it happen. This may not be how you pictured your end, but you’d take it if it meant freedom. Jun didn’t let up either, not until you stopped moving. Then he realized what he had done.

“Y/n… y/n! Y/n, wake up! Wake up, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please, y/n, wake up!”

Jun shook your body, quick to begin CPR, and not stopping until you took in a breath. He was so relieved, and held you tightly, weeping into your chest.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… please forgive me…”

You could barely make out his words as you were taking in life again. Relieved and disappointed all at once. Silent tears slid down your cheeks as you were left to wallow in your meaningless future.

❤

Jun couldn’t apologize enough for his actions, but he vowed to treat you with such care. Although that was difficult as you were still upset with you. He struggled to get you to eat, or even look at him. He may not have access to the medicine he gave you before, but your lack of nutrition was making you weak.

“My love, you have to eat.”

“…”

“I won’t let you die like this, so please, you have to keep up your strength.”

At times he’d have to force feed you, even if a bit, just to make sure he wouldn’t lose you. Still, he could see such emptiness in those eyes, and it pained him dearly. No matter what he did, it seemed like that spark was gone. You on the other hand truly felt like a living corpse, but a part of you still thought of escaping. It took days, maybe even weeks, it was hard to tell time anymore, before you found your chance. The chain only ever came off when you needed to take a bath, so that was your time to act.

When you had the chance you shoved Jun out of the bathroom and quickly locked the door behind him. He immediately panicked, but you focused on what you needed to do. You only had a bit of time, and your strength wasn’t what it used to be. You turned on the shower head, trying to fill the tub faster, grabbing a bunch of things and throwing them into the water all together, splashing it around a bit to give the illusion you were attempting to drown yourself. You heard the panic in his voice, knowing he was putting together pieces you had laid out, so now was your chance.

There was a small window in the bathroom, one you had never seen locked. It was just big enough for you to squeeze through, even if it would be painful. You forced it open and began to crawl through, grateful you were on the ground floor. Once you were outside you didn’t hesitate to get up and run. You weren’t trying to go far, you didn’t have the time for that, so the plan was to go to the neighbors for help. You saw a light on in one of the houses down the street and ran over to it, frantically banging on the wall and asking for help. Soon enough there was an answer and you let yourself in, telling the home owners to call the police, that you had escaped from your captor.

You were glad they believed you, and you stayed with them, out of sight, until the police showed up. Of course you had been missing this whole, so your escape brought relief to many around you. Although you had been worried about Jun escaping, the police had him in custody, and you saw him being taken into the back of a police car. That is until he saw you and went ballistic. He got away from the officers holding him and made a run for you. Thankfully he didn’t get close, but the possibility itself terrified you.

“Y/n! You’re okay! You scared me back there! Please, baby, tell them there’s been some mistake! Y/n! Y/n, look at me! Y/n!”

You hid behind a friend of yours that showed up, keeping your tears to yourself and trying to ignore his words. You were trembling, just wanting everything to stop. It wasn’t until you were told he was gone that you could lift your head. Relief washed over you, and you were properly taken care of from there. He didn’t get bail this time, just kept locked up until the trial. Now you were dreading that, not wanting to see him again, but you had no choice if you wanted to make sure he was behind bars. Although sadly that didn’t go to plan.

His lawyer pleaded insanity, going over all the things he had done to you, and stating how that proved Jun was mentally unwell. His behavior at the trial certainly convinced everyone else too. The whole time he couldn’t keep his eyes on you, on occasion whispering your name and an apology. Asking if you were alright, if you had eaten, completely ignoring the trial itself. Everything he did to you was out of love, even you couldn’t deny that, and his lawyer used that to his advantage. In the end he got a proper diagnosis and was sent to a mental asylum for treatment. That wasn’t really what you wanted, but as long as he was away from you and couldn’t hurt anyone, it was good.

You couldn’t really go back to the place you called home. You did try, but he was everywhere, not to mention the letters you received practically every day. If you truly wanted to get better you had to move on with your life, move on from him. So you did. You sold the house and got your own apartment, moving away and losing some friends along the way. You had to do what was best for you. It took a while, but you slowly started living again, but your heart remained still. After all that, you couldn’t possibly trust anyone with it ever again.

❤

“Hm… there really is nothing…” Choi said. “I kinda expected… something…”

“I guess she really hates him.” Kim added. “You know that boy never shut up about you, kinda feel bad for the sucker now.”

Your head was pounding, so many memories being dragged to the surface at once, you could barely make sense of the present.

“… who… who are… you… really…”

“No one important. We’ll keep an eye on you though.” Choi stated “Jun is bound to find you.”

“No… no, please…”

“Don’t worry. We won’t let him get you, we just want him back in his cage.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing to worry about. Let’s go.”

You felt something get take off your head, the static feeling finally starting to fade away. You could see the other two making their way to the door, and you tried to get up, but ultimately collapsed to your knees. You heard the door open, and then there was a crash. Kim landed next to you, knocked out from the impact. You were starting to get your stability back, looking up to see an impossible sight before you. Choi was dangling in the air, clawing at his throat, struggling to breath. You thought you were still delicious, moreso when you saw a third party in your apartment. The figure stepped closer and closer, ultimately coming into the light and making your eyes go wide.

“… no… no, no, no… it can’t be…”

“… how… how did you…” Choi choked out. “… how…”

“It was easy.” Jun laughed. “I saw you scoping out my old home, and I followed you from there. I knew you’d lead me right to her, so it was a matter of waiting.”

The gentlemen in the air suddenly flew out the window, making you scream and cover your head. You then heard footsteps approach, crushing glass along the way. You were too scared to look, wanting to believe this was all just another nightmare. Your desires didn’t do anything for you as you felt a hand grab your chin and force your gaze to meet theirs.

“Found you… I finally found you, my love.”

“… you… you’re not real… you can’t…”

“Sh, I know it’s shocking. I can’t quite believe you’re real either, but you are, and so am I.”

“… no…”

“My poor baby, you must have missed me so much. I know things didn’t go well last time, but this time it will be perfect. You and I-”

Kim had regained consciousness, immediately drawing his firearm, only for his weapon to suddenly be pointed up, and all rounds emptied into the ceiling. You screamed after the first shot and covered your ears.

“You dare to try and hurt my lover?!”

“Subject 074, you’re to return to containment!”

“I didn’t escape, just to go back. I will thank you for the blessing though.”

Once the gunshots had stopped, you took a moment to settle down. Whatever this was, you couldn’t stay, so when you had the chance you ran for the door. You only took a few steps before you lost your footing and found yourself floating up in the air. You screamed over the sudden levitation, not understanding what was happening.

“I’m sorry love, I know this must all be so scary and confusing, but I can explain.”

“… pu… put me down…”

“Of course.”

You tried to run away, but the door slammed in your face. Even though it wasn’t locked you couldn’t get it open, as if something heavy was blocking it. You eventually gave up and collapsed to the floor curling up and shutting your eyes. You heard footsteps approaching, flinching when you felt a hand on your head.

“Sh, sh, my baby, everything’s going to be okay, I’m back now.”

“No… no you can’t… the police…”

“They can’t keep me away from you, no one can.” Jun smiled. “I should get rid of our uninvited guest first though.”

You didn’t know what that meant, but you made the mistake of looking over as Kim was also tossed out the window. You hid your face again, starting to sob. This was the worst nightmare you had ever had.

“We should probably go somewhere else.”

You suddenly began to feel dizzy, as if the ground beneath you was moving. You opened your eyes, confirming that wasn’t the case, but not feeling well regardless. Jun watched you with a fond smile on his face, petting your head some more and softly cooing you to sleep. For whatever reason you couldn’t resist, not even if the adrenaline of all these events should keep you awake. The last thing you saw was Jun’s wicked smile, hoping this was all just a dream.

❤

You woke up peacefully, hoping to find yourself in bed, but that wasn’t the case. You sat up and found yourself in some kind of glass cage. There was no top, but the walls were too high, and there was no way for you to climb out. Around you there was nothing but darkness, and you thought you were alone until Jun showed his face.

“There you are.”

“… no… no you can’t… you’re not… this is just another dream… just another bad dream…”

“Oh, did you dream about me? I did too. Both at night and during the day. I missed you so dearly my love I was going insane.” Jun laughed. “I guess my love for you did work in my favor.”

You were still uncertain about this whole thing, but you were so confused more than anything. You wanted nothing to do with him anymore, nothing at all, but something was very different about him, very wrong.

“How… how did you escape… you’re supposed to be… medicated and… and…”

“Out of my mind? Please, I was never sick to begin with, so there was nothing to treat. Everyone thought my love for you was psycho, but they were wrong, even you.”

“… me?”

“You couldn’t understand that everything I did for you was because I loved you, because I had to protect you.”

“That wasn’t love…”

“Not what most would think, but that’s the only thing that dictated my actions.” Jun came up to the glass, a deranged look on his face. “I love you, y/n, always. Now we can finally be together, and no one can ever take you away from me.”

“No… no this isn’t right, this isn’t love.”

“Silence!” Jun took a breath. “Everyone always says that, but they’d happily use it to their advantage. You know a lot’s been happening these last couple of months.”

Even if you were scared, there were still things you wanted to say. Although now they all seemed to be stuck in your throat.

“At first I was in that asylum. Taking pills and talking to doctors, everyone trying to fix me, but you can’t fix what isn’t broken. Then they came along… I know what you might be thinking, who, but even I don’t know that. What I do know is they took me somewhere else, somewhere special. They said I was special, that I had great potential. I think it was just cause I appeared crazier than the others, but that’s when the real fun began. Needles, and drugs, and blood, and pills, and torture… I was their human lab rat… for what I’m not sure, but I can’t deny the results.”

Jun started laughing again, and then you began to notice things start to float up in the air. He knew you were watching, so he began to make the items move around with ease. Then it finally clicked, this was all his doing.

“Power, like nothing else. Telekinesis, that’s what they call it. Isn’t it cool? The power to move things with my mind. They were certainly happy with me, telling me I was a good investment, wanting to move on to the next phase, but I only cared about one thing, you. It honestly wasn’t that hard to escape, they doubted my skills, not to mention my other powers.”

In the blink of an eye Jun disappeared, and then he stood right before you, inside that glass cage with you. He quickly cornered you, keeping you pressed up against the glass and pinned by his own body. He had that devilish smile on his lips, and you wanted to look away but he grabbed your chin.

“They were really no match for me. The only hard part was finding you again. You completely disappeared, leaving behind no real trace. I guess I got lucky seeing those two snooping around. I would have found you anyway, but they sped up the process.” Jun stared at you fondly. “It’s good to see life in those eyes again. I missed it.”

“…”

“Ah, right, the other thing. You can speak your mind love.”

It was a strange feeling, this heaviness in your chest suddenly disappearing. Your throat didn’t feel constricted anymore, so you tried speaking, surprising yourself with the results.

“Who are you…”

“Jun, Wen Junhui, the one and only.”

“You’re lying…”

Jun sighed. “This again. Why do you lie to yourself, are you so afraid of loving me?”

“You’re not Jun.”

“Of course I am.”

His lips were suddenly pressed against yours, kissing you deeply, kissing you with hunger. Despite everything you had said so far, you couldn’t deny the familiarity you felt. When he pulled away you were both out of breath, but he was far from done with you. He latched onto your throat, kissing and sucking on your skin, marking you up in ways no one had in so long. You couldn’t resist it, not having felt this way in months, not having been touched in such a manner either.

While Jun’s lips were on your neck, his hands were running down the side of your body, caressing you and squeezing. They wrapped around your waist and then moved down to grab your ass, making you jump, and he chuckled, calling you cute, but continuing. His hands began to tug down your pants, and you tried to stop him, only to have your hands slapped away. He bit down hard on your shoulder, giving you a warning to behave.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you baby, and I know you’ve been yearning for me too.”

“No… no… you-”

“Your body doesn’t lie.” Jun hissed. “Just relax baby and let me take care of you.”

You felt like you were melting under his touch. Every little skin to skin contact sending sparks across your body. Once he had access he didn’t waste any time to grab your crotch, starting to rub you through your panties. You bit your lip to hide your moan, only for him to notice and kiss you. Forcing your lips to part and making you moan into his mouth.

“That’s my girl.”

Jun was just as impatient as you, soon enough moving your panties aside and teasing your core directly. He began to rub your clit, sending more tingles down your spine, and when he pushed a finger into you without warning you threw your head back. You nearly hit the glass but Jun moved you forward just enough to miss it. He loved the look on your face, especially knowing he was the cause of it. He just wanted to see more and more of it, having had his imagination for the past few months, and now finally having you in his grasp again.

You were too focused on your own pleasure to remember the circumstances of your situation. Not having felt this way in so long, you were easily giving in to your carnal pleasures. It also didn’t help that Jun knew, and knew exactly what to do to make you his. Your body began to move in rhythm with his, your hips moving on their own, and your hands mindlessly looking for what you wanted. Jun was a step ahead of you, already having his pants at his ankles, making it easy for you to grip his cock. He let out a groan when you wrapped your hand around him.

“You really did miss me, you can’t lie.”

“Just… just shut up… and…”

“Fuck you?” Jun chuckled. “Anything for you.”

He got sloppy fingering you, just wanting to get you ready as fast as possible, but he couldn’t hold out for long. Whatever bits of clothing you had that constricted his access to you were torn up, and soon enough your legs were wrapped around his waist.

“You want me baby?”

“Hm… yes, please…”

“You gotta say the magic word.”

“Please…”

“Nope, you gotta tell me what you want, and from who.”

“You… I want you to fuck me, please…”

“And what’s my name? What’s the name of your lover? The name of the one who owns our heart? The name I haven’t heard in so long.”

“… Jun…”

“Who?”

“Jun, please, please… fuck me.”

“With pleasure.”

He wasn’t going to tease you any longer, and ready or not, you were going to take everything. In a swift motion he pushed into you, making you cry out his name in ecstasy. You had been stretched out like that in so long, and no one else besides Jun ever had the pleasure of doing so. He gave you a tiny moment to feel him before his basic instincts took over and he began to move. He was relentless, making up for lost time with each thrust, and making your eyes roll to the back of your head every time. His name spilled out of your mouth like a confession and a prayer all in one. Soon enough there was nothing in your head but him and what he was doing to you.

As Jun got close to the edge he held you tighter, keeping you right where he wanted with ease. Although he wanted you to climax first, pressing you against the glass and using a free hand to rub your clit. He didn’t need to play with you for long before your vision went white and your body shook for him, squeezing him tighter and pushing him to his own climax. You could feel the warmth inside you growing and growing, feel him throb inside you. It brought tears to your eyes, reminding you of everything you had missed. Your body was spent, but Jun was far from done with you.

He stayed put inside you, gently rocking his hips and making you tremble with the tiniest of movements. You could feel him getting hard again, knowing what came next and that you were powerless to stop him. He had a lot to make up for, and a lot of frustrations to get out. He worked you over for your second climax, and third, and fourth, and then it all blurred together into one. Somehow you could take, even if you felt like your body was way past its limit. Something in your mind keeping you in that perpetual state of bliss. You had lost count of how many times Jun spilled his seed inside you, but you could feel the overflow, and it was so nice.

“Had enough yet, baby girl?”

“Hm… I… I…”

“You don’t know? Did my precious girl get stupid on my cock?”

“…”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Why don’t you close your eyes and take a nap for me love, I got you.”

Just as quick as you found yourself floating in a sea of bliss, you felt a calm darkness wash over you. The exhaustion made it so easy to just pass out by his words.

❤

“Wake up, y/n.”

You inhaled softly as you opened your eyes, still in an unfamiliar area. You looked around, seeing some sort of lab equipment around, but nothing you really recognized. Then you realized you were strapped down in this metal chair, something similar to what you’d find at the dentist’s office. You tried pulling on the restraints, but it was no use. Your body ached with exhaustion over the previous events. Which brought it all to the forefront of your mind, making your eyes go wide. You couldn’t believe that after all this time you had merely let Jun take you like that. You barely even put up a fight.

“Don’t beat yourself over that.”

“Huh?”

“I might have cheated there. I need you exhausted for this next part, and I figured I could kill two birds with one stone.”

“What are you talking about…”

“It felt good though, better than before, right? I know your memory might be fuzzy, but I promise it was way better. And we can do it again, and again, in the future.”

“What is this… what are you doing…”

“Right. That. I mentioned I had other powers besides telekinesis. You saw me teleport, so care to guess what the other one is?”

“…”

“Telepathy.”

You screamed upon hearing his voice inside your head, pulling on the restraints again in a frantic panic.

“Easy there, easy. I’m not gonna do anything bad.”

“You… you manipulated me back there! You made me-”

“Oh please, you know you want me, and no one else. I was just making sure you felt extra good. Telepathy can be so fun when you figure out how to manipulate the brain.”

“Get out of my head!”

“You wound me with your words, but I forgive you. I’m gonna make it all better.”

“You psycho!”

“Everyone keeps calling me that, but what are you going to do? Even if you’re upset with me, that doesn’t change the fact you’re tired, and I can do what needs to be done.”

“Wot… what is that?”

“Fix us. Fix you.”

“What!?”

“It’s simple really. I’m just going to get rid of all the bad things, and only leave the good. Remove that terrible night where everything went wrong and go from there.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Yes I can. It’s all I ever wanted to do since that day, and now I have the power to do just that.” Jun came over to pet your head. “It won’t hurt at all, just a fuzzy little tingle while we talk and get things straight.”

“… no… stay out of my head!”

“Don’t be scared, I’m going to put everything back in place, and we’ll both be together again, like nothing ever happened.”

“Don’t… don’t, please…”

“Sh.” Jun kissed your head softly. “I’m gonna fix our love.”

(II)

234 notes · View notes