#the only thing i like about being a woman is being weird at it

[lesbionia]

Being a butch lesbian is a uniquely female experience (female does not mean feminine). Someone male will never understand what it is like to be a lesbian, let alone a butch one, and that's not an insult or a personal judgement; words just mean things.

Radical feminists are some of the only people who don't make me feel dysphoric or less than for being a butch woman. They're not weird about my body hair. They don't pressure me into changing anything about myself; I can just exist as I am, in the body that I have, which isn't male but is just as capable of being strong, of working hard, and of loving a woman.

im sorry rad fems sold you the lie that butches are only Non Threatening (TM) cis women with short hair who wear T-shirts and jeans with a carabiner, but the reality of the situation is a lot of butches are trans, genderqueer, physically imposing, big, male impersonators, hairy (especially including facial hair), sweaty, muscular, "ugly" and/or fat. some butches are into extreme body modification. some went bald. some are body builders. some are transfem butches who don't wanna overperform womanhood, take estrogen, or medically transition. some butches start testosterone strictly to feel more like a butch. some butches pass as cis men, and some need to do so in order to feel like their butch selves. soft butches are great, but that's not the "One Right Way" to be butch. the butches i'm attracted to would make a rad fem scream and cry and piss themselves on the floor.

[creamecafe]

Hello! First of all I want to tell you that I love your writings ❤️ Second, I wanted to ask you if you can't place an order for Hyun-ju. I love that woman. I would like an Angst, I'll leave it to your imagination. thank you ✨✨✨✨

You're The Only Exception

Summary: Between wanting to be accepted and saving a life, Hyun-Ju takes comfort and finds hope in you as the only exception.

Pairing: Hyun-Ju x GN!Reader (No pronouns used)

Warnings: angst, mentions of transphobia, transphobic, guilt, the death of Young-Mi, she deserved better 😭😭

Word Count:

Author's Note: Thank you so much for requesting this, I hope you enjoy it! I didn't know whether to put for angst that people were looking at her weird bc she's trans or her feelings guilty for not saving Young-Mi in time, so I used both

Guys please understand that writing this, I'm a cis woman, AFAB, please do let me know if there's things to change up as I want to get trans representation right.

Want a request for a Squid Game character like this one? Check out my latest post, read my request guidelines and send a request!

Read on Wattpad & AO3 here

If being in the games was hard for anyone, it would be for Hyun-Ju. Looking for acceptance in a place where you're fighting for your life isn't ideal.

The only comfort and trust she could find was in you and Young-Mi. You felt bad for her as nobody wanted to team up with her or really talk to her. It would be nice to get out of your comfort zone.

For the second game, you teamed up with Hyun-Ju, an old lady and her son, a younger girl named Young-Mi. You survived thank God, but still wanted to know Hyun-Ju more.

Back in the dormitory, she was comfortable telling you and the team about her identity and her whole backstory.

"I accept you Hyun-Ju."

Those words stuck with Hyun-Ju. It's all she ever wanted, to be accepted for who she is.

"You're safe here, you have us."

It was like the family and love have been waiting for her in this place. She just had to look more deeper.

Unfortunately, that comfort wasn't going to last long. For the third game, it was mingle. When the carousel stops spinning, there will be a number on the screen announced and you have to form groups of that number and lock yourself in a room before the timer runs out.

Hyun-Ju made sure to stay with you and Young-Mi, both of you alive and safe. Everything was going well until one round.

You, Hyun-Ju and many other players were running to get to a room safely. Unfortunately, Young-Mi accidentally got pushed and couldn't make it to the door on time.

Hyun-Ju notices this and tries to save her. You looked at the timer, knowing there wouldn't be enough time to save her and you and all the others in the room would be dead.

Another player, Myung-Gi goes in and locks the door. Young-Mi rushes to the door and cries for Hyun-Ju.

Hyun-Ju is yelling for her and the whole thing made you feel bad.

Bang

Young-Mi drops the ground and is unresponsive. Hyun-Ju grabs Myung-Gi by his shirt and starts yelling at him.

"It's your fault! I could have saved her!"

"If you did, you would be dead, and all of us would. What's better 1 dead person or a group of 6 people dead?" Myung-Gi exclaims

He had a point but you just knew Hyun-Ju wanted Young-Mi to live. You also wanted her to live as well.

After the game was over, Hyun-Ju was silent walking back to the dormitory.

You thought it would be best to talk to her as you are starting to become closer with her.

"Hyun-Ju? Are you ok?" Reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder, Hyun-Ju turns to you.

"I could have saved her. I should have saved her. She didn't deserve to die." Hyun Ju looks down in shame

"If you went to save her, you would have been dead too then."

"She wanted out of the game Y/N. If I pressed X, instead of O, maybe it would have helped, I should have left the room-"

"It was a hard decision, I know and there wasn't a lot of time left. I wish she made it too, but there's nothing you really can do about it"

"She was one of the first people besides you that really accepted me."

"She would also want you to keep moving forward and get out of here. I do too."

Hyun Ju turns to you

"We'll get out of here and you'll get that surgery, and you'll move to where you want to go. I have faith in you Hyun Ju."

"You do?"

"Yes I do, and you should too"

There was a moment of silence between you too. Hyun-Ju was taking in what you said. For the next vote, she was determined to keep going and survive not only for Young-Mi, but also for you.

"Y/N, can I tell you something?"

"It's like you're the only exception in this place, out of everyone here, I'm glad to have met you and Young-Mi."

"I'm glad too Hyun-Ju, I'm glad too."

She holds out her hand and you take it. You gave it a tight squeeze as reassurance everything will be ok. And it will be.

As long as Hyun-Ju had you, everything and anything felt possible.

Taglist:

@hobinistaworld, @magicalconnoisseurcoffee, @dxrlingluv, @ninahorikoshifr

Navigation | Main Masterlist | Squid Game Masterlist | Hyun-Ju Masterlist | Join my taglist

[ti-girl1226]

Duke would use Martha and Thomas as an excuse to over power Bruce. Duke can see ghost y’all meaning he can probably find a way to communicate with them. (He probably uses sign due to him already knowing it for Cass) Anyway I can see him fully being done with Bruce who he dosnt really see as a dad dad, like sure he’s his dad on paper but Duke knew his parents for a long long time, like his dad was there and active and his mom was to and they still are alive just not there mentally. He would definitely get super sick of Bruce at some point and just go to Martha and Thomas, probably Martha and just bitch about Bruce to them. Oh and Steph and Cass definitely know about this they all come together at least once a month to bitch about Bruce together although Cass has few things to bitch about but she dose find it hilarious what the other two have to say.

Duke sitting on his bed holding his pillow as Cass paints his nails he’s talking to the group: -So then he yelled at me for buying bat burger in patrol! Like sorry I’m hungry You don’t pay me for lunch!

Steph sitting on a chair next to Cass painting her own nails: Right! Wait is Martha here?

Duke: Martha is always here

Martha nods watching the kids with a smile while Steph turns to Martha’s chair to imitate eye contact because it felt weird for her just to talk into space

Steph: So your Son today *cue fifty minutes rant about how Bruce tried to adopt her again which leads into how he then forced her to go to her apartment earlier like the manor dosnt have room for her and how Alfred had already had made her dinner so she guess she was okay with leaving to her apartment but she really wanted the pancakes that Alfred was gonna make the next day*

One day Steph is mad at Bruce for not giving his credit card away so she drags Duke into the room.

Steph: Is Martha here?

Duke, somewhat scared for his own life: no?

Steph: Martha!

Martha runs into the room or well through the wall but into the room still. Bruce is looking at Steph like she’s crazy and Duke is just confused.

Duke: she’s here now

Steph: can I use your sons credit card? (She says like an angel not the gremlin she was five seconds ago)

Martha gives a nod

Duke: she says yes.

cue the rest of the Batkids coming to Duke to get Martha’s or Thomas permission for things. There list are different on what they have granted but here are some of the highlights for each kid i think would be cool

-Thomas-

Jason- although I am tempted to put gun and every now and then go back to crime lord business because “back in my day we could only have the mob do things if we slept with them or gave them money” (no he did not elaborate on the slept with part.) I have to say it infact no matter how much Jason may want it to be that it is not that. It is when he asked if he could pay for the therapy with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn with Bruce’s card.

Tim- Dating Kon and Bernard at the same time. (Yes I ship timberkon)

Dick- sadly doesn’t need much or ask for much so his is kinda lame compared to the last two but his would be to sneak out Duke and Cass.

Steph- Tea sessions being paid for with Poison Ivy, Cat woman, Harley Quinn.

Cass- a cat

Damian- to watch Harleys hyenas while the Ivy and her were on a date. Bruce never found out

—Martha —

Jason- college

Tim- got back into cloning at one point for the fun of it.

Dick- Not a really a request but wanted to get the same type of pearls that she had and give them to Cass as a gift. So he asked for the manufacture or well business she bought them from.

Steph- Baby names and advice. Duke wasnt there for his powers but one night a few years after she had her kid around the day that would have bin there birthday she cried and just felt like a shit mom, and just talked and talked about it just putting her feelings out there. The next morning she woke up to a note on her desk in a nice cursive telling her she was a good mom and how if she ever wants to she can just ask and Martha will find her baby for her. After all ghost don’t need to stay in one place and can’t be noticed.

Cass- outfit advice, although unprompted and not requested. She like the suggestions

Damian- again kinda veering away from request but he wished to know what kinda paint he should use and she told him where her old art room was and which key to take form Alfred to unlock it.

A little not at the end from me I’m not trying to make Steph look materialistic here or that she is like a gold digger, I just think that Steph would first off end any other arguments, and arguments is a strong word here, with “your not my dad” but she needs her money because she don’t work with Bruce not to get paid. And he got so much money what’s a few hundred, she saw the amount Wayne industries brings in when she was dating Tim and even after that he can spare some change. Also felt weird having Duke fight with Bruce for the same reason because I feel like both Steph and Duke if they do get in trouble ever they just pull the your not my dad card. Steph will do the your not my dad like that one meme. Duke however will put on the manipulation to a ten and go “why are you being so controling and like this? Are you trying to be my dad?! Are you trying to replace my dad?” Then cue sobs and a I’m staying at Dicks, Jason’s, or Steph’s (if he’s feeling really petty he’ll say he’s going to Clark’s) and then a dramtic packing of things through (fake) tears Cass ask where he’s going and he pretends to be Sooo guilty saying he dosnt know when he’ll be back and he promises he’ll be back for her dance recital and also to tell Damien he’ll be there for the art show he has in a week. He never makes it out the door. Bruce gives in.

[darkshrimpemotions]

I think my overall point here still stands: regardless of my youtube algorithm, four months ago, I could not escape coverage and commentary on how awful Blake Lively was on every algorithm-driven social media platform. It was everywhere any time I opened any app despite no aspect of it being related to what I usually view, like, etc.

Now, the only reason I heard about the lawsuit and allegations against Justin Baldoni when I did is that I'm subscribed to a specific Youtuber who was saying Baldoni seemed sketch when the Blake Lively downfall was happening, and he made a follow-up to say "I was right!" In fact I STILL haven't seen any other coverage for this that I didn't actively seek out, and it isn't just me.

The sheer volume, regularity, and popularity of content discussing (and reveling in) Blake Lively's "downfall" was such that it was inescapable. Drama channels, entertainment and celebrity news content creators, video essayists, booktokers, people whose content was only tangentially or not at all related...everyone had to weigh in and it was everywhere.

That's simply not the case when it comes to Justin Baldoni being a sexual predator who posed as an ally and used DV survivor's stories as part of his smear campaign against his primary target.

People were rabid to watch a woman be punished for something that in the grand scheme of things was thoughtless and perhaps caused indirect harm*, with maybe one or two dissenting voices questioning the weird and suspect aspects of Baldoni's behavior at the time. But less than two weeks since this news broke, half the search results for this story are people questioning whether Blake Lively is lying about the dozen or more examples of sexual assault and harassment--direct, immediate, physical harm--she and other women on set suffered.

I didn't say the Baldoni story is being given NO focus. But it absolutely is not being given the same level of focus or the same slant of focus.

* I am speaking specifically about her words and actions in the press tour for It Ends With Us. In my opinion the constant need for people to rush to preemptively assure everyone "yes SA is bad but I still think Blake Lively is a bad person dw folks!" is immaterial to this discussion and borderline derailing. How about "yes SA is bad". End of sentence.

I cannot stress this enough: Blake Lively made insensitive remarks in press tour interviews where she was explicitly told and contractually obligated to act and speak a certain way about a film she was in. For this, the internet was extremely quick and loud about wanting her to disappear off the face of the earth.

Justin Baldoni sexually harassed and assaulted, and encouraged an environment where it was normalized to harass and assault not only Blake Lively but multiple other women on set during the production of said film.

Justin Baldoni abused his power on set to put Blake Lively in situations where she was naked and vulnerable and being touched in ways that fell outside what was previously agreed upon in her contract and the script.

Justin Baldoni is a sexual predator who used feminism and combating toxic masculinity as part of his brand to hide his own vast shortcomings as a human being.

Justin Baldoni body shamed Blake Lively when she was four months post-partum under the spurious guise of avoiding exacerbating a back injury while lifting her, despite having full creative control over the script and despite stunt doubles existing, meaning there was no reason whatsoever he would ever have to lift her in the first place.

Justin Baldoni hired Johnny Depp's PR firm to "bury" Blake Lively (his word) when she pushed back against his treatment of her and other women on set.

Justin Baldoni intentionally departed without warning from the agreed upon Marketing campaign they were both meant to adhere to explicitly in order to appear sensitive and thoughtful on the issue of DV, and to make Blake, who adhered to her contractual obligations, look even more out of touch and callous by comparison.

Justin Baldoni shared the stories of sexual assault and domestic violence survivors on his socials to further paint himself as an ally to women in contrast to Blake Lively. Read it again. He explicitly used DV and SA survivors to cover up his own sexual abuse and further smear the woman he abused in retaliation for her pushing back.

Justin Baldoni is an abuser and a sexual predator, and he explicitly set out, in his own words, to destroy and bury one of the women he targeted for daring to fight back.

Where's the volume. Where's the VOLUME? It was EVERYWHERE within hours when it was her, but now it's been days and it's all so quiet and cautious and slow despite the court documents and text messages! Where are all the countless thinkpieces, youtuber video essays, notes app apologies for conclusions wrongly jumped to, why is it HALF as loud for something orders of magnitude worse than anything Blake Lively said on that press tour? Is this thing on??? IS ANYONE OUT THERE? HELLO???

[cripplecharacters]

Debated on whether I wanted to resend but here goes nothing.

This is Margo, my OC. She is currently being developed into a Stardew Valley mod. I don't wish to spoil too much, but she fought in The War and was injured. She now has facial + body scarring and a cane. I'm still writing the story, but so far, she has two plots: A, which is her learning to open up and accept the player. And B, which is her trying to find a hobby with the help of other NPC characters.

I'm mainly sending an ask in for feedback on her design. As of now, her torn lip has been edited to show her gums instead of all teeth. Otherwise, nothing has changed. Thank you!

Side question: How should her facial difference and cane be addressed, if at all?

[Image description: two pixel drawings. The first one shows the full body of the character; she has light tan skin, a burn scar on her face, and long red hair. She's holding a cane. The second drawing shows multiple versions of the character's portrait with various facial expressions.]

Hey!

She looks good! I especially like the top right one, very cute :)

I think my only concern would be re: her right eye - is she meant to have corneal scarring or a traumatic cataract? I'm asking since it looks like she has corneal blindness, but that's rarely caused by an injury like that (it's mostly a vitamin deficiency/parasitic thing). It's not impossible that she'd have it from a burn, but I want to make sure you're not confusing the two (since I see that a lot) and these two conditions do have different symptoms (outside of blindness).

If you're willing to address her disability then I think it would be a good idea. I'm not sure what kind of narration you're going for, but it wouldn't be ableist for the player character to simply Acknowledge that she has burns on her face (e.g., before the player learns her actual name, the placeholder could be "red-haired woman with a burn" since these are just her most visible characteristics). It also wouldn't be out of place if the player character wondered "what happened" - I know we (disabled people) all hate this question, but I don't think it's weird for someone to just think that in their head when they see someone (thought crime isn't real, etc.). As long as the player character isn't going around harassing her asking why she's disabled as the first thing they do (unless I guess it'd be to show that the player is ableist and has a lot to learn?) it should be ok.

If you want the characters to discuss "what happened" in the actual dialogue, it'd be preferably after they actually develop a relationship. I don't think it's weird to ask one's friend about their disability (as opposed to demand that information). Depending on Margo's personality and/or feelings toward the player she could either explain the whole story in great detail, leave it at "during the War, a building caught on fire, I was in it; it took them three months to put me back together but at least I'm finally back home, isn't modern medicine incredible?", or simply decline to answer that. All three are valid options; it's not like her character arc will fall apart if the player doesn't know what happened. She's visibly a burn survivor, there's hardly any mystery as to what's going on. Not everyone wants to talk about the origin of their disability, even (sometimes especially) to people they're close to - sometimes it's PTSD, sometimes it's the fact that they're tired of being asked that.

Her cane is more straightforward since in her case, her main "thing to address" are her burns and the cane would probably fall under that for most players. If you want you can have the player character compliment the design of her cane* or how well built it is, especially earlier on when it would be more awkward to just go straight to discussing her actual disability.

*Real life (not writing) tip: Not everyone likes that, please don't randomly compliment real strangers' mobility aids, especially if they're undecorated or without anything else that would imply they want to bring attention to it. A lot of people (myself included) will think you're being condescending.

Other than that, there's no reason to ignore her burns or cane; e.g. if the player visits her at home before going out she can mention that she needs to grab her cane, or put a pressure sleeve on before leaving, maybe on some days she's not available to talk to because she has physical therapy scheduled at that time, etc. As long as she has other character traits that have nothing to do with her disability (which it sounds like she already does) it should all be good.

I also like the plot B she's involved in - I wish this wasn't the case, but so many characters with facial differences don't have any damn hobbies ("obsessing over revenge for making them disabled" doesn't count) and almost never seem to have casual friends, so this is cool to see!

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[velvetvexations]

I will probably sound mean, but it's crazy how many white trans men are so stuck in their own asses about how trans men as an Entire Group have Such Privilege over everyone else. Like can you stop tripping in your power fantasy for 2 seconds. Not even fellow white trans men will have your same level of "Oh I'm so PRIVILEGED and nothing bad EVER happens to me (unlike those poor little transfems ah so sad how I'm so much more powerful :'^()" because it's almost as if... everyone is different. In different situations and environments. With different marginalizations that can also change how you're treated...

It's just like. You are downplaying An Entire Group of Trans People because You Personally don't experience crazy hardship in your eyes. To the point there is arguing that "pretending to be a cis woman is actually a superpower and shields you from harm"- Like trust me I KNOW white woman privilege is a thing. But come the fuck on. Do I have to like detail irl sexual harassment+SA for you to realize that "girlmoding" isn't a blanket of safety. Did you forget bad shit also happens to cis woman also...? (Plus just the stress of being closeted etc etc)

Part of it feels like a denial that anything that bad can happen to them, with a touch of white saviorism. It's that thing you talk about, weird sect of trans men who are too caught up in the idea that "Oh I COULD use my immense power and privilege to harm you... but I won't." + weird white knighting. Get your head out of your ass!!! I swear you can beat people over the head with violence stats all day and they'd still go "ahhggg but me privilege, we The Collective We have so much powerrrr.... nothing bad has ever happened to a trans man oh it's so mild...". Maybe YOU have the best of both worlds, but maybe YOU aren't the only person in the universe.

(PS ily Velvet :^))

Being a man means being invincible, which totally isn't a trait of toxic masculinity how could you get that impression.

[visionsofyouandme]

It's New Year's Eve, Javier Peña!

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: You've been avoiding Javier after your little Christmas kiss. He's determined to find out why, and make things right.

𝚠/𝚌: 2k

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜/𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: F!Reader. Fluff. A bit of angst. Sad!Javi. Longing. Avoidance (don’t worry, it’ll be ok!). Age Gap (or no age gap- you decide!). Javi struggles with feelings (what’s new?). New Year’s Eve cheesiness. Not proofread (sorry!). 

𝙰/𝙽: Sorry I didn't post at midnight, but better late than never, right? Just a little fluffy part 2 to this cute lil Christmas fic. Hope you enjoy, and Happy Happy New Year to everyone! <3

On AO3!

The days following Christmas were lonely for Javier. It seemed after your Christmas Eve hang out, you avoided him like the plague. He was confused, and found himself missing your voice and presence more than he could admit. 

The New Year’s Eve party was that night, and he was determined to get you alone and get a reason out of you for the way you’ve been sidestepping him at any given moment. Even at the office that day, when he found himself in the direction of the break room, you were headed in the opposite direction. 

It was weird being on the other end of “mixed messages.” He was starting to understand why women got so frustrated with him when he would curb their conversations or further advances after their little trysts. 

But this felt different with you. You were taking every opportunity to get away from him that you could, and he felt powerless. He couldn’t do anything about it, knowing if he tried to talk to you at the office, you’d shut him down and most likely sever whatever was left of your “relationship.” 

God, what was he thinking? He wasn’t like this. He didn’t really pursue anyone outside of getting them in bed. He certainly never felt bad for his actions (or in this case inactions?) or longed for anyone. The absence of your smile and bright demeanor was enough to put him in a dark cloud of sadness and general emotional avoidance. 

“You comin’ tonight, Peña?” Steve questioned as he locked up his drawer for the night, and Javier looked up. He shrugged, twirling his pen in hand as he gazed at the same report he had been looking at for the last hour, trying to not stare at your desk. Steve tilted his head to the side, wondering what had happened between you and Javier to put him in such a sour mood. He had never seen him like this before, and he was amused but slightly worried. He couldn’t have his partner down in the dumps, as funny as it was…

“She’s gonna be there, you know,” Steve leaned over and said quietly, nodding to the side at your desk subtly. “Heard her talking to Garcia from internal operations.”

Javier’s grip on the pen tightened minutely. Of course, there he was again- Miguel. He was probably going to be your date if anything. Javier couldn’t believe how quickly you were moving on without him-

He shook his head internally, trying to jostle himself out of that mindset. You didn’t belong to one another, you weren’t together. It didn’t matter who you dated. 

But, it still hurt.

“I’ll see you later, Murphy.” Javier said, and began jotting down notes on his notepad. Steve inhaled, preparing to say something more, but his chest deflated and he nodded. He picked up his jacket and left Javier to his own devices. 

An hour or so after the sun had set, Javier finally pulled himself away from his desk. His eyes were tired, but he had made up his mind. 

He was going to talk to you.

He had seen you leave a few hours ago with another woman from the department, and he could only sit at his desk like an idiot. So, when he finally came to, he knew he had to see you and make things right. Or at least get an explanation. 

When he went to the bar where the party was supposed to be held, he found he was way too early. In fact, the bar was still relatively empty. He sighed, and headed back to his apartment instead to burn time and mull over what he was going to say. He got dressed, wasn’t satisfied, and tried again. Every outfit he put on felt unnatural, even though it was stuff he wore every day. He didn’t know what you would like, what would catch your eye- But did it really matter, anyway?

He paced in his living room after settling on tight jeans and a dark green button down. It was the only thing he could find himself comfortable in, and even then it was still a far reach. 

He refused to have a drink, which was another indication that he was sufficiently crazy. He did chain smoke like a madman, though, filling the apartment with hazy smoke.

When the time came to arrive at the bar, he found it hard to catch a taxi there, making him more on edge. When he snagged one, the ride felt like it lasted for hours. 

He could see some other agents and coworkers filing into the bar, and he craned his neck, not spotting you anywhere. His jaw tensed, and he made his way inside. Maybe you weren’t here yet, but you were always on time, if not early to everything. And when he walked inside, he could see you already at the bar, poised on a barstool, talking to Amy and Maria from HR. He licked his lower lip, pausing but then felt someone run in to his shoulder since he had stopped in the doorway. 

“Oh, shit- Sorry!” a voice said, and Javier stepped to the side, swiveling around. 

Miguel.

“No worries.” Javier said, trying to mask the dark look on his face, but he was sure he was failing miserably. Miguel smiled at him anyway, and Javier wanted to wipe that stupid look off of his face.

“Peña, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.” Miguel said, and Javier’s fingers twitched at his side. He nodded, wondering why the hell Miguel was taking the time to talk to him. Javier wasn’t exactly personable, and many didn’t stick around to chit-chat. 

“Yeah. You’re in Internal Ops,” Javier said, though he tried to pose it as a question. Miguel nodded, his eyes moving around the bar. Javier didn’t have to look to see who he was looking at as he eyes lit up, and he gave a wave. He looked to Javier and smiled again cordially, giving him a nod,

“Nice to meet you, Agent. Enjoy the party!” he said, and wove his way through the crowd to where you sat at the bar. He watched as Miguel approached, and you smiled but cast Javier a look over his shoulder. Javier cleared his throat, and made his way to one of the tables with some other agents who (slightly) tolerated him. 

Javier watched you all night. You were so personable, so smiley, laughing that he could hear over the crowd that sounded so sweet. 

But Miguel was perpetually at your side. And he saw his hand linger on your waist a few times, and then just now when he touched his arm to excuse himself for whatever reason. 

And Javier, about 3 beers deep, found the courage to go up to you and-

“Hey,” he said, shouldering between your coworkers and friends to be in your sights. “Can I talk to you?” 

He knew it was pretty bold. And you had a look of surprise at first, then it turned to exasperation. He could feel the other girls in your little group give him disgusted looks, but he just looked at you with a pitiful expression, using his brown eyes as a weapon.

“Please?”

He saw you ponder it for a moment, and then you rolled your eyes, and excused yourself from your friends. He didn’t get far before you pulled him to a stop in the middle of the crowd. He wanted to get you alone to just ask, maybe explain himself, but he was caught in the middle of a sea of bodies.

“What do you want, Peña?” you called over the music, and he swallowed, glancing around over your head, eyes shifting back to you. 

“I just- I wanted to- Did you invite me over because you were- you didn’t want to be alone?” he questioned, and he saw your gaze stiffen, the hand clutching your drink tightening just a bit. You looked around, and shook your head with a dry laugh.

“You really are pretty dumb for a special agent, you know that?” 

Javier frowned deeply at this. If anyone else had called him dumb or anything lesser or worse, he would give them a piece of his mind. But, he couldn’t with you. He also felt he deserved it.

“I’ve been wanting to actually hang out with you for a long time. But I didn’t want it to be under the guise of getting in bed with you. I just thought…  I don’t know. It’s stupid.” you said, and then shook your head vehemently. He glanced at the clock, that read 11:50pm. He was running out of time. He knew Miguel would be seeking you out for a New Year’s kiss, and he definitely didn’t want to stick around for that-

But then it dawned on him.

“Wait, you were asking me out?” he questioned, and he could see your eyes burn holes into him. You looked around uneasily, and bit your lower lip in the way that drove him crazy. You shrugged it off, though, and he couldn’t help but quirk the corners of his lips up.

“So, you do like me, cariño.” 

“It’s not gonna happen again, Peña. It can’t. I know you-”

“Just give me a chance.” he said, his voice a begging tone that he was willing to get on his knees to reflect. “I want to try- I want you.” 

You looked at him, your eyes turning sad and he could see the rejection creeping into your face. No, this wasn’t how this was going to end.

“I didn’t realize it, cause i’m an idiot. The way you give me coffee, talk to me like I’m just a guy, care about others in every way, shape and form. The way you laugh and smile damn near brings me to my knees, and I was a complete asshole, never saw that you just- you care. You didn’t want your loathsome coworker to be lonely on Christmas, made me home made eggnog, invited me in even when I was a complete ass...”

You just watched, your body still as stone, save the slight rise and fall from your chest that seemed to deepen with every word that spilled out of his mouth.

“You see me,” he breathed. The clock was ticking, working against him. If he could make this up before the year ended, he would make it up to you at every turn. “And I was a jerk, a fucking idiot to not see you. But… I wanna fix that. I want to show you that someone else cares for you. A lot. Just give me a chance to show you-”

But, the countdown started. He was fucked.

“Please. I don’t want you to have another lonely holiday ever again.”

That seemed to strike a nerve with you, drive something through your heart. He could see it in your face, and he felt his chest tighten. This was it. He knew it.

5… 4… 3…

But, you did something that surprised him. You were always like that- keeping him on his toes, constantly surprising him. 

2… 1-

You kissed him. 

Hard. 

He felt your drink press up against his shirt but thankfully did not spill, and he put a hand on your waist to hold you against him as he eagerly returned the vigor of the kiss. When the crowd went wild, he liked to think they were cheering that he had (maybe) succeeded in his mission (they were not, in fact). He pulled away, and leaned his forehead against yours with a hopeful expression.

“Does this mean-?”

“Do not fuck this up, Javi.” you said with a warning tone, but a light laugh in your voice. Your words echoed his own he had been telling himself for days now. He smiled gently, and raised a hand to brush against your cheek, the use of the nickname not lost on him. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, cariño.” he whispered. He laid another kiss on your lips, softer and more intimate. He could taste the sweetness of your drink, inhaled the smell of your perfume, and felt the hope and excitement of what was in store for the new year ahead. 

With you, anything was possible. 

divider by @/saradika-graphics! Thank you for reading!

[sen-thebootmutt]

This post is now two years old, and things have only gotten worse.

Fascists are more emboldened, and more and more trans people—Black trans people specifically—are being killed year on year. 25 states now have restrictions or bans on gender affirming care for trans youth, and some states extend that to trans adults under certain ages, or restrict state medical insurance from covering care. The 2024 Defense Authorization Act banned military insurance from covering care for minors—that’s a federal ban!! The UK has banned the prescription of hormone suppressing medication for all youth nationwide indefinitely. Hate crimes against trans and queer people are on the rise, according to FBI Uniform Crime Statistics. Trans people are getting death threats—online and in life—daily.

Meanwhile, y’all keep doing the same discourse routines. He/him lesbians, “weird” fetishes in the trans community, white lesbians calling themselves “studs,” neopronouns, who’s “trans enough,” shifting norms of language.

Stop it. Just stop.

We are being killed. We are dying. Our Black sisters and brothers and siblings are Dying. Our immigrant siblings are Dying. Our Native siblings are Dying. Our poor siblings are Dying.

Our Children.

Are.

Dying.

And the people killing us, killing them, are laughing.

None of y’all are angry enough. These people have names and address, and none of y’all are angry enough. The people we thought would come to our aid abandoned us, and none of y’all are angry enough.

Y’all love to talk about queer and trans history, but forget the most important part. When the state, corporations, street gangs, put their boots on your neck,

You.

Fight.

Back.

You big up coins, then bricks, and you throw the fucking things. You march in the street, get arrested, storm churches, occupy government offices, shout down politicians, interrupt proceedings.

When AIDS was rampaging through our community unchecked, ActUp occupied the NIH. They did die-ins at the CDC, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, the Capitol building. They organized research groups, smuggled drugs across boarders, created underground pharmacies. Groups like Samois and STAR gave food, clothes, and homes to abandoned youth, collected the property and stories of people killed by AIDS before their families or the state could kill them again, led massive street protests to spit in the face of repression. When cops raided our bars, it didn’t matter if you were Black or white, gay or lesbian, butch or femme, cis or trans. Everyone stood up and fought back, in the ways they could.

So, no. I won’t be engaging in your petty discourse about what kinks are okay for trans folks to have, or what a “real trans woman” looks like, or whatever. And no, I don’t think you’re “keeping community alive” with your little discord server movie nights.

Are you in the street? Are you helping feed and cloth the queer kids on your streets? Are you learning how to stockpile HRT so you can distribute it when it becomes illegal? Are you keeping cops and fascists out of our bars and clubs and music venues?

It’s time to put up or shut up, y’all. Drop the discourse. Build your community. Gather your resources. Train to protect yourself and your people. Fight like hell. And yeah, you might end up with a bi lesbian and a trans girl with a weird kink. But those things can be talked about after we’ve won our liberation, because they’re just distractions until then.

While you were bickering about bi lesbians online, Amarey Lej, 21, was murdered.

While you were arguing about neo-pronouns, Duvall Princess, 24, was murdered.

While you were sending "fuck off TERF" memes on anon, Matt Spampanito, 21, was murdered.

While you were sending death threats to people creating pride flags for neo-genders, Naomi Skinner, 24, was murdered.

While you were "discoursing" about butch/femme being a product of patriarchy, Cyprus Ramos, 21, was murdered.

STOP. THIS. SHIT.

Why are we having petty online arguments and sending death threats to other queer people over THIS SHIT?!

There is an active genocidal campaign against trans people around the world right now. 55 trans people were murdered in the US last year. Fascists want us dead. Queer rights are being reversed and repealed worldwide. Fascist street gangs are bringing loaded guns to gay bars and public libraries and bakeries. Trans kids are having their healthcare stripped away As We Speak, leading more and more kids to die by suicide. Drag performers are targeted as "pedophiles," queer youth are forcibly outted in schools and churches and in Fucking PUBLIC.

Queer infighting will not save us. Online discourse will not save us. Your anonymous asks and Twitter DMs and Facebook posts will not save us.

And if we keep doing this shit?

The fascists win. They win. We lose. And we die.

Simple as that.

[asarigg]

Inside the Character's Mind: Part 4

KOUJAKU'S NATURALNESS

In contrast with all these worries Aoba has, there’s… this Koujaku:

While Aoba worries when he hears that Koujaku had refused everyone’s chocolates because he wanted to give him his chocolates and make it seem like something casual and move on to the next topic, so he wouldn’t die out of embarrassment, Koujaku is eager to receive those chocolates. He refuses the other’s chocolates not only because it would be dishonest to everyone involved, but also because in the end the only chocolates he cares about now are Aoba’s.

Aoba tries to lie and avoid the topic, but Koujaku had already noticed the box in his bag. When Aoba asks if he doesn’t find it weird, for a moment Koujaku doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. Same here:

Koujaku doesn’t care at all whether he’s with a woman or a man, obviously he’s bi, but that doesn’t exempt him from worrying or having issues about it. But he doesn’t. He just doesn’t have these kinds of concerns, he doesn’t care what other people think of his relationships. If it were up to him, he’d shout out loud that he’s dating the love of his life, but out of respect for Aoba he doesn’t.

The closest thing to anything like that is that he didn’t want to admit that he was in love with Aoba because they were friends, like I’ve mentioned before. He couldn’t tell him the truth or risk the friendship they already had. He didn’t want his rejection and he didn’t want to be a burden. Koujaku openly kisses him on the street, making sure not to be seen only to respect Aoba’s wishes, he takes every opportunity to hug him, and even when Benishigure asks them if they’re on a date he answers yes without hesitation, to which Benishigure responds by jokingly wishing them a happy marriage. I find it funny they have opposite reactions especially when Koujaku is the “straightest” of the cast and is always perceived as super masculine in and out of the game as I mentioned. You can appreciate through their relationship’s development that Koujaku gets over that initial awkwardness and has his sexuality pretty normalized now, whereas Aoba takes longer because his nature is more shy and reserved, but it still changes as Koujaku reassures him, helping him coming to terms with his gender and sexuality issues.

In the end Koujaku always reassures him, making sure he feels loved.

Fun fact: In one of Koujaku’s earlier designs he also wears leg warmers. Since they often do things together, like Koujaku accompanying Aoba to buy the CDs he likes, it would be cool if they shared that as well. Also, I’ve always thought that Koujaku’s more casual clothes are probably not worn that much since he always wears a kimono, so Aoba would steal his wardrobe. Imagine if the leg warmers were a gift from Koujaku?

CHILDHOOD. SLY AND KOUJAKU. THE AVOIDANT BEHAVIOR: part 1

This section might be my favorite, although it's so long (ton shit of pics) I'll be dividing it, please wait for the next parts 🤧💞

We also know that Aoba’s insecurities come from his fear of abandonment, because as he himself says, he fears losing Koujaku because when he lost him once it was extremely painful for him.

When Koujaku came into his life, it had a major positive impact. Koujaku being with him meant that the other kids wouldn’t bother him anymore, that he wouldn’t have to feel so alone and abandoned after his parents left and having a grandmother who couldn’t always be with him. For several years those were some of the fondest memories for both of them, so much so that Aoba started to see Koujaku as his hero (which, oddly enough, is also something that when Aoba tells him about it, Koujaku is surprised), and those memories prevented Koujaku from suicide.

And the impact when Koujaku left was equally negative. He was back in the misery of being an abandoned child, and knowing what awaited him after having experienced some of the happiest years of his life made the shock even greater. So much so that it would cause Sly to resurface until he finally took control of the body. Whenever Sly appears, it’s because Aoba needs help, to use his powers or because he has to fight something that Aoba alone cannot, including mental distress that weakens Aoba. And it’s no different here.

From this stage of their childhood we see a certain connection between the two that seems to go a little bit further, to a spiritual plane. Koujaku came into Aoba’s life at an ideal time, after his parents left, and no matter where Aoba was, Koujaku would always end up finding him. As if it was fate or a miracle, he remembers him and the beautiful moments they lived together when he wanted to commit suicide, giving him some hope to continue living and that maybe not everything in his live had gone wrong. After years of being alone following the death of his mother he finally manages to return to the island. No matter how much they try to hide that something is bothering them, even if they don’t know the reason, they always know something’s wrong, even when other people who are also close to them don’t realize it. There’s something special there, they always make the way they interact and share their feelings through other means than words sound in a somewhat spiritual way. Because that’s how it was meant to be.

As I mentioned earlier Koujaku kind of believes in souls, asking Aoba about it in the Drama CD. Not only that, but after dreaming about his mother several times recently, he believed that maybe it could be his mother’s spirit trying to tell him something, to go to her grave.

But I think the most interesting part of all this is in the bad ending. The bad ending is a reflection of how far obsession can go and the consequences of not letting the people who love you help you. Not letting yourself be loved, pushing them away and locking yourself in, perpetuating the cycle you've been stuck in all your life, from which you can’t get out alone.

[gideonisms]

I love it when genuinely strange women make art. Huge fan of listening to songs by a woman who has felt out of place in every circumstance since birth and reading books by a woman whose interpersonal relationships have clearly been complicated enough to be basically indescribable with modern terminology

[ghost-bard]

how do i talk about taash being a realistic character while also acknowledging that they absolutely couldve and shouldve been written better in every aspect

[3liza]

long post about puzzling manifestations of White Woman Hair Standards

ok so i realize this is firmly in the realm of White Girl Complaints and i apologize for that. everything i'm describing here is white-on-white friendly fire from the white policing of Black hair and Black people get way more shit about this than i ever will (the history of hair texture's association in white culture with race is extremely complicated and i dont have time rn, but it's really interesting, look up "circassian beauties" sometime). i have the standard 3b-c curl pattern. when my hair is wet it forms ringlets, and then dries into ringlets, the Merida hair if you will, its a pretty common scottish gene. when i brush it out when it's dry, it looks approximately like this pre-raphaelite painting of Elizabeth Siddel. this was a common and even desirable hair texture in the 19th century for white women, and was imitated with curling irons and perms and beer rinses. this state of affairs continued roughly until the 90s, when straight--or if textured, very obviously rollered or curled with tools, never natural--became not only on-trend, but the only permissible hair texture to have in a professional environment. and now, if i go outside on the West Coast of the USA with my hair in the Elizabeth Siddel condition, it is like people have spotted a plague victim. we're talking audible and visible pointing and laughing on many occasions even as an adult, asking me if im wearing a wig, and every single person i talk to will either treat me observably worse than when my hair is straight, and/or have Something to Say About It, ranging from unsolicited advice about "conditioner" to asking me if im "okay". any rude question or comment you can think of that i had to answer with "no, this is just my hair. this is my normal hair when i havent spent three hours on it" has been directed at me when my hair is like the painting, including asking me about my racial background, sometimes just assuming/telling me i'm mixed race (white people LOVE to do this to each other)

i'm not sure what to attribute this to, exactly. it's obviously based in American racism, i'm just not sure how the switch happened from curly/frizzy hair being considered an "exotic" thing that was observed by white culture to be more common outside the white race but still expected to show up on white people now and then, to something that was considered a symptom of freakishness or cause for alarm. it seems to have happened suddenly in the mid 90s, because before then, youd see celebrities with frizzy spiral perms all over the place. i dont think Nicole Kidman has shown her natural hair texture outside her house since the late 80s

she has the same hair texture gene as i do, white australians are mostly scots-irish convict phenotypes like mine. she will appear in public with curls, but not natural ones, always roller sets/curling iron/blowout curls.

Natasha Lyonne is another public example of some texture being allowed through but its because she is always playing characters who are insane, "quirky", lesbian, drug addicts, or just profoundly weird. and even then 1. her natural hair is wavy, not curly and 2. it's still styled to death even if the styling is to make it "look" unstyled. Carol Kane is another one, again, she used to play leading girls in the 70s and 80s and then became a "weird cat lady" character actor in the 90s,partially due to age sure, but even in Kimmy Schmidt when she was supposed to have crazy cat lady hair they were still roller setting or two-strand twist setting it. it was not natural curl pattern, they had to straighten it and then recurl it to make it screen acceptable. even though this is her natural texture (2c-3a and some mixed ringlet/wave pattern, im guessing):

backcombed and scrunched a bit on the left, brushed out dry on the right (possibly with extensions, hard to tell)

and here's how they're presenting "crazy cat lady" in Kimmy Schmidt:

it actually started out longer and frizzier in the early episodes and they made it way more conservative as the show went on

i've been puzzling over this for years. between 1993 and 2010 i just sort of assumed it was lingering Aniston Effect and eventually other white people would stop bothering me about my hair, but the longer it goes on the more puzzling it is.

theres no appreciation for white girls with fucked up puffy frizzy hair anymore. we just sort of lost our way in the 90s and never found our way back out of the jennifer aniston torment nexus

[dykedvonte]

Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.

The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.

[suguruuuuu-chan]

T4t Zosan save me....save me t4t Zosan...

[saintverse]

the other day i was explaining to my bf how i don't mind "genderbent" merlin art if it's not annoyingly heterosexual because she's transfem to me but "genderbent" arthur art just feels so very unrealistic. if he was born a girl he would just transition to be honest... people will try to do genderbending but "trans positive" by just saying it's lesbian merthur but then they're both conventionally feminine cis women and truly i don't think that works with their characters... merlin who defies every boundary and societal norm? arthur pendragon? arthur would never be a cis woman he would just transition sorry...

actually hold on. arthur is assumed to be a "tomboy" crossdresser and he pretty much only takes on the role of a princess when his father expects it. considered a harmless fancy. gets to the point where everyone even his knights call him prince arthur but as a "joke" because of how masculine he is. merlin gets assigned as the princess' maidservant and eventually arthur is like Merlin... you must understand... this isn't playing dress up, to me. this is who i am. and merlin's like Ohhh Okay. Lol. Me Too it's okay i get it. and then she walks away and it takes arthur days to realize that merlin was implying she's transfem

there's your yuri merthur if it was awesome and transgender. butch transmasc he/him lesbian arthur and genderfluid trans girl merlin. love wins!

[bluesturngold]

the idea that any significant portion of women irrationally hate men is anecdotal, it is not reality:

In Study 1 (n = 1,664), feminist and nonfeminist women displayed similarly positive attitudes toward men. Study 2 (n = 3,892) replicated these results in non-WEIRD countries and among male participants. Study 3 (n = 198) extended them to implicit attitudes. Investigating the mechanisms underlying feminists’ actual and perceived attitudes, Studies 4 (n = 2,092) and 5 (nationally representative UK sample, n = 1,953) showed that feminists (vs. nonfeminists) perceived men as more threatening, but also more similar, to women. Participants also underestimated feminists’ warmth toward men, an error associated with hostile sexism and a misperception that feminists see men and women as dissimilar. Random-effects meta-analyses of all data (Study 6, n = 9,799) showed that feminists’ attitudes toward men were positive in absolute terms and did not differ significantly from nonfeminists'. An important comparative benchmark was established in Study 6, which showed that feminist women's attitudes toward men were no more negative than men's attitudes toward men. We term the focal stereotype the 'misandry myth' in light of the evidence that it is false and widespread.

This trope has been used to delegitimize and discredit the movement, has deterred women from joining it, and motivated men to oppose it, sometimes with violence (Anderson, 2015; Ging, 2017; Roy et al., 2007).

'but punkitt didn't say feminists, she said trans women' doesn't cut it because it's intellectually dishonest and condescending to suggest any trans women are hating men for irrational reasons detached entirely from gender politics.

the trans women on this website critiquing men and masculinity are transfeminists, people who live at the intersection of transphobia denying our womanhood while misogyny towards us affirms it, the most jaded of whom have been mistreated by the men in their lives — and have seen other trans women treated the same — so frequently they worry trans feminine separatism is the only way they'll get a safe space.

to reframe what i just said, because people never want to acknowledge this reality: there is no self described trans feminine separatist who has reached that conclusion without already having tried to participate in the broader trans and lgbtqia communities only to find herself mistreated by people she keeps being told are her brothers who are going to stand with her against oppression.

this has nothing to do with testosterone being evil or anything biologically innate to men, it is entirely about the systemic privilege afforded by patriarchy which is reflected in queer communities created under patriarchy: in a trans accepting space, trans men are men and trans women are women, with all of the sociopolitical and cultural baggage that comes with it.

the reason my reply to her post encouraged her to take a step back from the argument and take the time to get a better understanding of both transfeminism and how dire things are for less popular trans women on this website is because this addition to the original post is very antagonistic towards other trans women in a way that's extremely sad to see.

as i stated in my reply to her post, as someone who knows the sort of trans women being chided in the original post, nothing about their (as i've discussed, entirely rational) disdain towards men is rooted in bioessentialism: never do i, an entirely not passing trans feminine person living in a conservative area early in my medical transition who would risk violence presenting feminine and thus continues to present nonbinary masculine offline, feel like i am being excluded by these trans women, because their framework of transfeminism doesn't determine a person's gender by judging their appearance. judging the validity of a trans woman's identity by how feminine she presents is transmisogynist, it's textbook transphobia intersecting with misogyny. there are trans women who have internalized misogyny and transmisogyny, but that's not who she's addressing.

her post doesn't actually say anything positive, all it accomplishes is condescending to a bunch of the vulnerable trans women who don't have her follower base, but because 'she's literally just saying to be nice!' people will go to bat to defend her intellectually incurious, vibes-based politics.

she is attending a house party, yelling out the open window at the trans women on the lawn — who are discussing how cruel the people at the party were — that maybe if they were nicer to men things would be going better for them.

it's condescending, of course it's going to set some people off, and of course there are going to be trans women lamenting the way she approaches community issues haphazardly with no regard for the rest of the people she apparently expects to be in community with her, given she's making posts addressing them, but then turns around and calls people criticizing her — from a position of greater understanding of the issues she's discussing — stupid or dumbasses, as if they're contemptible, and not to be listened to as an equal with a different point of view who were hurt by her original post being flippant and rude. you can make the argument that people are being too mean to her, but when you've been watching trans women on tumblr deal with harassment from the website's CEO, TERFs and trans masculine users, it's a real kick in the teeth to see a popular trans feminine blogger telling you to be nicer to men.

I'm absolutely losing my mind seeing "We need to not treat men and masculinity as inherently evil and worthy of hatred, and not fall back into biological and gender essentialism because that hurts everyone, including trans women" being misinterpreted as "Women need to stop oppressing men", "I think trans women are actually men" or "You specifically who have trauma around men need to get over it because men are the real victims". It's so willfully disingenuous. It makes me sick how willing people are to read in bad faith, especially how willing other trans women are to suddenly start harassing and dogpiling another trans woman.

I am a trans woman too, I understand what it's like to feel unsafe, but it helps no one this cynical attitude that crops up every time someone suggests being kind to men in our lives. "You could save a man you know from falling down the alt-right pipeline" is not the same as "It's your fault that men murder you". "There are people who could be on our side if we don't meet them with immediate hostility" is not the same as "You need to shut up and stop criticizing power structures for the sake of your oppressors' feelings" (I promise there are a lot of people who can be taught about their complicity in oppression without immediately shutting down but you need to work with them). This kind of attitude isn't somehow more informed or correct. It's just lashing out to avoid considering one's own agency.

Making a better, safer world for ourselves requires all kinds of work, but it's always work. It's hard to try to reach out to people who could very realistically harm us, it's work that not all of us can afford to or are able to do and that's fine because we're all just trying to survive. But some of you would rather condescend, tear each other down, and make more enemies before even considering it a possibility.