#the only thing getting that depressed fuck out of bed today is his brothers ACTUALLY IMINENT DOOM

[avianurges]

i am so so so so sorry in advance to all involved Maybe. i feel. an undertale fixation returning

[strniohoeee]

because matt is so tough lately can you write something about reader trying to show him her love with cutesy thing but hes just tough and even snaps at her for lil things and one time reader starts crying and tell him how she feels and matt feels bad and apologize and then some fluff

Can’t You See?

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N can’t understand why Matt is being such an ass to her. She’s going through her own stuff, and tries her best to be the best for Matt, but it just not good enough🩶 I also combined it with this request reader starts getting depressed but matt is an idiot and doesn’t notice and even makes it worse by being angry always than nick and chris talk to him and then he makes it up with fluffy ending

Warnings⚠️: Matt is an asshole in this which is not at all how Id think he’d actually be, but I had to do it🤭 Hope yall enjoy🫶🏽

Song for the imagine: Mark My Words- Justin Bieber

So you heard it all before

Falling in and out of trust

Trying to rekindle us

Only to lose yourself

But I won’t let me lose you

And I won’t let us just fade away

These past few weeks I have been at an all time low mentally. It’s been getting harder and harder to pull myself out of bed and get stuff done. I hated this feeling because it destroyed my life outside of my head.

At first Matt was understanding and even tried to help me, but this wasn’t something he could help me with. This was my own battle. I had to try and fix myself. I hated to put this on him and his brothers because I didn’t want them to stop what they were doing for me.

I often removed myself from them, focusing on myself when I got like this. They always checked up on me, but I made it clear I was okay on my own.

Most days I would wake up and shower and just sit in bed for hours staring at a wall or scrolling on my phone. Often forgetting to eat or drink water. At first they tried to help me, but then they went on with their lives doing what they needed to do, and I didn’t mind. That was until Matt started getting upset

I was once again sitting in Matt’s bed today in complete darkness curled up in a ball looking at the wall just thinking. It’s crazy how fast time goes when you’re not paying attention. Suddenly the door opened the lights flickered on causing me to squint

“Have you gotten up at all today?” Matt asked bluntly

“I have” I said in a whisper

“Are you just going to sit in bed everyday and mope around?” He asked opening his closet to change his outfit

“I’m not moping matt” I said not even looking over at him

“Yes you are, I’m trying to get you to get up and go out, see some light, and all you can do is lay around and stare at the wall” he said scoffing at me

“You’re being a dick” I said to him

“I’m not I’m being honest, and you clearly don’t like honesty” he said looking through his closet

“I’m going through something right now, and I’m really struggling to feel better, so you coming in here and barking at me isn’t helping” I said to him

“So get up, like force yourself up and let’s go do something. We can go for a ride or to the boardwalk or even to eat….just something” he said

“I don’t want to get up okay, you don’t get it” I said back

“I do get it. Do you know how many days I wake up and I want to roll over and stay in my room, but I can’t because I actually have a job to do and content to create” he replied back

I turned over completely appalled at his words

“Actually have a job? We both have the same fucking job you fucking asshole” I said looking at him

“Well look who’s putting in the work and who isn’t” he said looking over at me

“You’re such a fucking piece of shit when you want to be” I said rolling my eyes

“I tried to be there for you, but this has been going on for so long, and it’s exhausting trying to help you” he replied slipping his shirt on

“No one fucking asked you to help me I said I got it on my own. I’m so fucking sorry my depression is taking such a toll on you” I said getting up from the bed

“It’s upsetting to just see you lay here and waste your days away” he said looking over at me

“Can’t you see?…..YOU JUST DONT GET IT” I yelled the last part at him

Opening his door and walking out slamming the door behind me. I was fuming and I needed to get out of the house immediately.

I grabbed my purse and my car keys from the table

“Hey you okay?” Nick asked me as I walked into the living room

“Yeah I’m fine your brothers being a dick” I said

“Classic Matt” Chris responded

“Where are you going?” Matt suddenly asked from the kitchen

“I’m leaving” I said with my back to him

“This is what it took for you to get up? Was an argument? It’s shocking how upset you get over small things” he responded

“Matt shut the fuck up” Chris said to him

“I’m not mad I’m disappointed that you of all people are acting this way towards me” I said finally looking over at him

“I was just trying to help you” he said

“Whatever I’m going” I said turning to walk down the stairs

“Where?” Matt asked

“Away from you. I need space from you” I said

With that I walked down the stairs and hopped into my car deciding to drive back to my apartment. Once I got home I decided to shower and listen to music while I cooked something for myself

I loved Matt but his communication skills were horrible. It’s crazy that this small argument put some drive into me to start doing stuff. I was filled with so much anger and hurt from Matt. This was not who he was, and I wasn’t sure if he was going through something himself, or if I was genuinely making him upset.

I allowed myself to hurt and cry in the comfort of my own home. Scared that this would cause our relationship to end, but also scared that it could be something I wanted too.

I slept it off that day, and hadn’t spoken to Matt in three days. I would text Nick and Chris letting them know I was okay, and that I wasn’t too sure what I wanted to do as far as our relationship.

Another three days went by, and it was a good week now since I last saw Matt. Around the fifth day he started to call me, but I ignored his calls, truly needing this time to think.

On the eighth day I felt better, and I really missed Matt. I wanted to make things up to him and make things right. I decided to go on a small shopping spree for him and write him a cute letter attached to a new stuffed animal I got him.

After shopping I decided to head over to the triplets house letting Nick know I’d be over shortly. He left the door unlocked for me. I made my way to their front door letting myself in.

“Hi guys” I said walking up the stairs

“Heyyy you’re back” Chris said

“I am” I said giggling

“Are you feeling any better?” Nick asked me

“I feel much better. I think I just really needed those last days to think about everything and figure out what I wanted to do” I responded

“Are you breaking up with his bitch ass?” Chris asked laughing

“No I came to apologize to him” I said

“Apologize to him? You didn’t do anything wrong” Nick said

“I feel like I shut him out and I lacked communication with him, and that’s why I want to say sorry” I told him

“Aww okay” Nick said

“He’s in his room” Chris said

I nodded and walked over to Matt’s room, opening the door to see him lying on his bed scrolling through his phone.

“Matt” I said shutting the door behind me

“Baby” he said getting off the bed and coming over to kiss and hug me

“I missed you” I said kissing him again

“I missed you too” he said looking down at me

“I brought you gifts to say I’m sorry” I said smiling at him

“Oh yeah?” He said nodding at me

I gave him the stuffed animal and the bags of stuff. He walked over to his bed placing the stuffed animal on his bed and sitting down to look in the bags

He pulled out shirts and beanies and a new necklace

“Why’d you get me this?” He said his mood suddenly changing

“Well to say I’m sorry for not talking to you” I said

“You sit around moping and then suddenly you feel better to go shopping? This is all so expensive, why'd you waste your money?” He said looking at me

“What? I’m confused right now” I said shaking my head

“You don’t talk to me, but you think buying me expensive stuff is going to fix us?” He said

“Matt, are you joking? I came here to apologize to you for not opening up to you and taking your advice. I wanted to spoil you with my hard earned money, and this is how you treat me?” I said scoffing

“I just wanted you to talk to me not do this shit” he said putting the stuff back in his bag

“I don’t know what happened to you Matt, and I’m sorry if you’re going through your own issues right now, but this is not you” I said shaking my head

“I’m fine” he said sternly

“You’re clearly not you’re snapping at me for no reason” I said

“I’m not snapping” he said

“You know what Matt. If you don’t want to be with me just say that, okay? I’m over this! I’m leaving” I said walking out of his room

I walked to the living room and Nick stopped me

“What’s going on?” He said reading my demeanor

“I don’t know what’s going on with your brother but that’s not the guy I fell in love with” I said clenching my jaw

“What’s wrong with this kid?” Chris suddenly said

“I don’t know, but I’m over it. I’m leaving” I said huffing out a breath

I left their house and headed back to my place. Even more angry than our first initial fight. Why was he being such a fucking dick?

Nicks POV

“Matt what the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked him

“Nothings wrong” Matt said scoffing

“You’re being a complete fucking dick to Y/N, and she didn’t do anything to you” I responded back

“She just makes me upset sometimes with how she does thing” he said back

“So then like an adult you use your words. You don’t just lash out like a child” I told him

“I didn’t lash out like a child” he said getting upset

“Yes you did, and you get upset easily. You need to figure your shit out, or she’s going to leave you, and I wouldn’t be shocked if she did” I told him

“You know what fuck you” he said and stomped to his room

Matt had sat on his bed running his hands through his hair looking down at the bags of clothes Y/N had got him. He let out a sigh and leaned back, suddenly landing on a stuffed animal and hearing a crunch of paper

He furrowed his brows and reached behind him, he pulled the stuffed animal out, and saw a note attached to the front. It read Matt with a heart next to his name.

Matt opened the envelope and pulled the letter out. He began to read and his facial features softened

To my beautiful boy,

I’m sorry if I’ve done anything to upset you, that's not what I intended. I’ve been struggling with my own depression, and it’s not something I want to put on you or your brothers because I know you go through so much daily. I appreciate you being there for me, and being my shoulder to cry on. I love you. I’m sorry if you’re going through anything yourself, and I haven’t given you the comfortability or time to express yourself. You haven’t been the same these past few weeks, and I hope it’s not something I’ve done. I care for you and I worry for you, and even though your words hurt me the other day I can not hold it against you. Deep down I know you’re fighting your own demons, but I just want you to talk to me. Our communication has been awful lately, and I’m not sure why. Please know that I’m always here for you no matter what. Rain or shine I’ll be there for you my love. I just want us to be how we used to be happy and in love. I love you with my whole heart Matthew!

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan

Matt immediately shot up, his heart falling to his stomach. Immediately he felt the guilt and disgust wash over him. How could he be so mean and awful to you? You have been there for him through thick and thin. You were his rock and he was treating you horribly

Matt jumped up immediately grabbing his keys, and running out to head over to you. In a hurry he walked down the stairs shouting to his brothers he’d be back home soon.

He got in the car and immediately started his way over to you. How could he hurt his baby? His number one in life. He was so hurt he couldn’t even focus on anything else. About 20 minutes later he arrived to your apartment complex, walking up to your floor and knocking on your door

You opened the door with saddened eyes, and a confused look on your face.

“You’re my everything. I have never wanted anything more in life than you. I have been the worst boyfriend to you during a time where you needed my support the most. You didn’t deserve to be spoken to the way you were. And for that I can not forgive myself for. I was a piece of shit and you tried to be understanding. If you no longer see a future with me because of how I acted I completely understand that” Matt said looking me in the eyes

“Matt? I….” I couldn’t even form a sentence I was shocked

“I love you, and if you don’t want to see me right now I get that. I will give you space and I will leave” he said turning on his heels to walk away

“Matt wait” I called out to him which caused him to turn back around

“You were a piece of shit and the things you said were awful, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I know deep down you're struggling with your own issues, and if you don’t want to talk about them that’s fine, but just know communication is key, and it goes both ways” I said looking at him

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry” he said letting his head hang

“It’s okay Matt, come in” I said pulling him in to my apartment

“It’s not okay. I was horrible to you and I don’t deserve you” he said sitting down

“Don’t speak like that. We deserve each other, you just have a hard time communicating, and I understand that” I said walking over to him

“It’s just seeing you so hurt and depressed made me so angry because I couldnt bare to see my baby struggling and not feeling like you were able to come and talk to me. It hurt me, and instead of talking to you about it I let that hurt turn into anger” he said

“I’m sorry for completely shutting you out of my life for those past few weeks. It wasn’t right, and that was a time I needed you the most and I just pushed you so far away” I told him

“I promise to communicate with you about how I feel so we can work everything out, I don’t want to fight with you” he said pulling me into him

“And I don’t want to fight with you either Matthew. I love you” I said smiling at him

“I love you too” he said letting a tear fall from his eye

“Don’t cry my love it’s okay” I said pulling him into me

Matt completely broke down in my arms

“It’s not okay I hurt you and I can’t live with the fact that I said such awful things to you” he said in sobs

“This will make us stronger as a couple okay, we now know how to go about our issues without it boiling over” I said petting the back of his head

“I’m sorry….im so fucking sorry” he said pulling away and looking at me

“It’s okay, I love you okay” I said wiping his eyes and looking at him

“I love you too” he responded

I pulled Matt in and kissed him. It was a deep passionate kiss. A kiss that we so badly needed.

Matt laid in my arms the whole night as we spoke to each other. Talking about our feelings and how we wanted to change. He listened to every word I said carefully and I did the same

Matt was my ride or die, and I could not live without him.

The End

Alright guys I hope both people who requested this imagine enjoyed it! I loved writing this one! And I hope yall enjoyed it 🤭🤭🖤🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[roadtogracelandx45]

Under False Pretenses|2| Band of Brothers Mafia AU

@marycorleone

ao3

masterlist

part one

smut is this chapter, its been awhile since I have actually written a full sex scene instead of implying it.

word count: 4k

Two 

He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, every inch of him screaming out to turn the sirens on in the car and pull her over. First to haul her out of the seat and into his arms, to kiss her and apologize for listening to her grandfather. To meet his daughter, and be the man that he always was.  

When Robert Stewart approached him about leaving Olivia, he thought that he had everything that she needed, including love. Something he would assume that Robert would have wanted for his oldest and only granddaughter.

  But he was wrong, Robert had only cared about how far her relationships could get her. Much like her birth mother who Olivia cut out of her life after she found out that her daughter was in love with a barber/taxi cab driver.  The aftermath of that fight was the first time that Joe had ever heard a girl say she loved him when he wasn’t balls-deep in them and it was the first time that he said it too.   

He wanted to go back to Olivia when he had a career and had something to be proud of, he didn’t want to be coming back to her with his tail between his legs because his boss said so, but here he was. 

*

Olivia glanced in the rearview mirror,  the sedan that their normal driver Jake pointed out was following her, and her heart was in her throat. She knew that the business dealings that her family did and the ones that the Nixon family did could be why she was being followed. 

 They tried to keep her out of the loop but she knew, especially since Lewis and Dick started taking more and more on within it, they unloaded a lot on her.  This morning was almost sweet with Lewis sleepily shuffling into her bedroom and into her bed after a long meeting the night before, he wouldn’t go into details, all he wanted to was cuddle into her and watch a movie with her. 

Dick had already joined her hours before. 

“JOE!?!”  She exclaimed when her eyes meet the driver of the sedan behind her. It had been 5 years to the day since she had last seen him, her 21st birthday. “What the fuck?! Liv, you are seeing things, it's been 5 years, and he is never coming back.”  She shook her head and looked at her phone that beeped,  Lewis had texted her, another birthday message proclaiming his love for her, her pussy and tits, and her love of Vat .69.  

Everything. 

Leave it to Lewis to make her smile when she was starting to panic, he and Dick had developed an Olivia spidey sense and found one way or another to get to her. 

It was almost sweet. 

She typed a quick reply before going to the yoga studio, after giving birth to Aurora and battling postpartum depression, she had started yoga on top of therapy. It had helped but never fully healed the hurt she had from missing him. 

**

“Hey, there’s the birthday girl.” Dick greeted, a couple of hours later, stepping into Olivia’s office a few hours later, she and Lewis looked so peaceful sleeping this morning that he had  just left them to sleep. 

 “Hey, Dick.” She returned balling up a tissue in her hand and tossing it into the trash can. 

“What’s wrong?” He crossed the room and pulled her from the chair she was in and into his arms. 

“I thought I saw Joe.” 

“Leibgott?”  He forgot that she called him Joe, everyone called him by his last name but only Olivia called him, Joe.

“Yeah.” She returned with a sniffle, “I was going to the yoga studio, I swore I saw him in that piece of shit sedan that has been across the street from the house.’  Rolling his eyes frustrated, he pinched her ass causing her to yelp. He could tolerate swearing from her once in a while, mostly when she and Lewis had gotten into the Vat .69 but she was a proper southern lady, and at work at least she had to act like it. 

“It’s been 5 years honey.” He started smoothing his hand over her curls, “Today, it's not surprising you would think that.”  “Sorry, sorry, I am a mess.”  On top of the emotions that had been pent up in her about the truth about why Joe left her, and her grandfather dying, she had to agree to go off of birth control and try for another baby until her older brother James figured out a loophole to stop the whole baby for her inheritance. 

“What’s going on in here?” Lewis asked, he was making the trek to his own office and had seen his husband and wife through the window and backtracked to the door to look at them. ‘I thought I saw Joe, kind of threw  me through a loop.’ She commented as she went to pull away from Dick but he held her fast, he didn’t want her to leave his side until she was together. The last time he let her go, she ended up having a panic attack and had to be sedated. 

The dark hair man looked at Dick then at Olivia who rested her head on his chest.   Shaking his head, he put his files and coffee cup he had in his hands on her desk before hugging her from behind.  

“We looked high and low for him babe. He is gone.” He nuzzled his nose into her neck, “Gene even went to Italy remember?” 

Eugene Roe was Olivia’s best friend from the pre-med program and had come up from New Orleans to help them look for him. 

 “I know, I know.” She returned softly before clearing her throat, “Y’all need to get to your meetings. Your dad is here Lew, and I don’t want to fight with him on my birthday about you being late for your meetings.”  

Smirking, her husband nipped the flesh of her neck, “He agreed with your grandfather, he should have a grandchild with the Nixon DNA. He will forgive me if I am late for one not only comforting my wife but by fucking her too.”  Dick rolled his eyes before pressing a chaste kiss to Olivia’s mouth and forehead, “I do have to go. I will be back later to get you for lunch Lew, behave yourself.”  

“Never.” 

**

“Agent Jones, if you follow me, Mrs. Nixon is back from her lunch with Mr. Nixon and Mr. Winters.”  Alice Rogers, Olivia’s long-time assistant commented as she rose from behind the desk. Scarlett who had won out and was the one to meet with Olivia,  the woman knew the other men, and nothing would get done. And they didn’t want her to know that Joe was an agent.  “Thank you.” She said, “How long have you been working with Mrs. Nixon?” She asked. 

“Since she finished the nursing program,  girl was going places in the field but she knew she had a duty to her family and the Nixons. Raised a major fuss about it.”  The older woman answered before knocking on the door and easing it open, Olivia was standing behind the desk turned towards the ensuite bathroom talking to who Scarlett was assuming was Lewis Nixon. 

“Seriously, Lew, all through lunch Stanhope stared straight at the hickies. Could you have waited to do that until after the party tonight?” Olivia could be heard saying. And Scarlett could have jumped for join, she had wanted to scream at Liebgott that she did love her husband and that he shouldn’t expect much of anything to come from being back in her life. But of course the boys were there hyping him up about it.

He was just going to end up getting drunk and being at her apartment talking about the past and Olivia and the last thing that she wanted to do was listen to that bullshit again. 

She had heard it enough.

“Mrs. Nixon, Agent Jones of the FBI.” Alice said after clearing her throat. “Thank you Alice.” Olivia  returned, tearing her attention away from her husband to look at the agent. “Sorry, a lot of excitement around here.”

 “Yeah, my father is in town, it's Liv’s birthday today, her grandfather passed away.” Lewis rambled as he came out of the bathroom fussing with his tie. With a huff, the woman slapped his fidgeting fingers away from the tie and fixed it. 

“Just not to pick a fight until after the party tonight Aurora is thrilled that she gets to go until after dinner.” Lewis raised his eyes in a playful thought. “Lewis! Don’t you dare!” She warned, thumping his chest lightly, “do you want to break a 4 years old’s heart?” 

Scarlett shifted her weight from one foot to another, the boys were teasing Joe again about his tastes in women and Tab was telling another story about Aurora between jokes. She cleared her throat to remind them again that she was there.  

“I would never.” The man laughed before pressing his lips against Olivia’s once, then twice and then a third time before leaving the office with not so much as a backward glance at Scarlett. 

“Sorry about that.” Olivia said, pushing her bangs away from her eyes, “when his father is around he tends to get.” “Like a spoiled child?” Scarlett threw out, she had dealt with Joe when he went into a tailspin about missing Olivia and it was like having to deal with a spoiled child. 

“Exactly.” She motioned for the agent to sit across from her, “What can I help the FBI with?” 

Scarlett pushed up the glasses Stevenson insisted she wore. They hadn’t had time to bug her office and this was the easiest way to get eyes in the office. 

**

“What are you doing Joe?” Talbert asked, pushing himself away from the table top that was in the back of the van they were in. “I am going in there, this is absolutely ridiculous. I have been away from her for five years because of her grandfather,  you all know my child! That isn’t right!” 

They had all heard him say more than once that he wanted to move Olivia to San Francisco into a big old house and fill it full of little Liebgott’s.

  “We know but until a year and half ago we didn’t even know where you were.” Chuck Grant commented,  “And you were so far up Scarlett’s ass that bringing up Olivia and Aurora seemed wrong.”

 They were right, up until 6 months ago, he was in no position to hear a thing about Olivia, it hurt too much. Then one day,  Talbert, who along with Grant and George Luz, another friend they had from school, went to lunch and he saw the picture of the trio and it opened the floodgates. He learned everything about her from the last 4 and half years. “Wait until tonight,” Floyd added, “Lewis and Dick are throwing her a party, we will sneak you in. You will see and be with her again.”  

** 

Atrium of Tenafly

Olivia Nixon’s 25th birthday party 

** 

“You know she probably won’t punch your lights out if you were to go over to her and talk to her.” Grant said later that night, they were in the venue for Olivia’s birthday party and Joe didn’t want to approach her. 

“She is too well mannered in public now for that.’  Floyd started laughing from where he sat kiddie corner from him, “Your memory is failing you from that car accident Chuck.” 

Chuck had been in a bad car accident leaving the ski lodge that Lewis had rented one year and it had left him with some speech and memory issues. “She has acted like that in public more then once. And usually on Liebgott’s behalf. Remember Mallie?”  Joe pulled a face as he swallowed a drink of his whiskey, “Don’t remind me of that.”  His dark eyes found Olivia who was talking to Eugene Roe, Babe Hefferon and Bill  Guarnere, their daughter on her hip,  the little girl was completely enamoured by the latter of the trio.  

“I will be god damned.” Lewis Nixon commented as he came to a stop by the table, his eyes landing on Joe, “Livia wasn’t imagining you being back.” 

“Nix, good to see you. Taking good care of our girl?”  He returned as Floyd and George straightened up just in case they needed to get involved in a fight that was going to start brewing. They knew Liebgott and they knew Nixon and they knew how their tempers flaired when it came to Olivia.  And Lewis had a habit of becoming more hot headed when it came Aurora. 

“You never have to worry about that. Olivia and Aurora are in good hands. Dick and I take very good care of them.” 

“I am surprised that you are sober enough to realize that they are there. Last I remember, you forgot about the dinner that you were supposed to have with her grandparents and she got verbally abused for that.’

   “Take it easy fellas.” George warned, he could see that Lewis’s raised voice caught the attention of not only Dick, Harry and Kitty but that of Olivia and the group she was with. 

“This is not the time or place for this fight. I don't think Liv would ever forgive either one of you for ruining this night for her like her 21st birthday party and this is Aurora’s first party that she has been able to attend for at least a little while.”  

“Lew?” Olivia’s voice came as she came to a stop by his side, sans Aurora. The little girl was being twirled around the dance floor in her uncle Bill's arms giggling happily. 

 “Everything okay here? Hey guys.” She offered her friends a bright smile then her eyes landed on Joe. 

Her suddenly numb fingers grasped at the sleeve of her husband's jacket, “Joe.” 

 “Hey Livia.” He greeted as he stood up, her eyes trailing over her body. The shooting star tattoo with the 11:11 time  looked fresh, like the day she had gotten it.  The rose gold necklace with the small shooting star charm that he had gotten her for her last birthday they spent together was around her neck,  covering up part of the scar she had from the same car accident Chuck was in. Her tits, god those tits, looked better than he remembered. Maybe it was because of her carrying their daughter, but they looked phenomenal.

 All he wanted to do is rip off the black material that covered them and suck on them. But now wasn’t the time nor place. And judging by the look on her face it would be a long while before it happened. 

“Hey Livia! Is all you can say after 5 fucking years!” She said through clenched teeth, George and Tab were right, she wouldn’t be causing a scene not like how she used too. Mostly because of the cameras and people around. The last thing that Nixon Nitrate needed was a bad publicity event.  

“Why don’t you two go outside and talk?” Bull Randleman commented from when he was standing just behind Olivia and Lewis, “Better that way and Aurora won’t ask questions.” Her eyes darted around seeking  out the little girl who was still in Bill’s arms.  “Go ahead Livia,” Lewis said before grasping her chin between his fingers and kissing her deeply. She whined and pushed his chest to get him away from her. He had started drinking before they had left for the party and having Joe show up was going to make the situation so much worse than it needed to be. 

“Go sober up Lewis.” She returned before she walked quickly towards the propped open exit. Giving the drunk man a look, Joe followed her quickly.

“Come on Lewis, let’s get some coffee in you before you embarrass not only your husband but your wife and daughter.” Harry Welsh commented having heard everything that happened, he was one of the very few that could get through to Lewis when he was like this.

**

“It’s been 5 years.” Olivia started once the door swung shut behind him, “and all you can say is hey Livia? Do you have any idea what hell I have been through looking for you?”

 She seemed calm but he knew better, this was her way of baiting him into a trap and causing a major fight that ended up with them being in bed for a week. “I waited for 6 hours. 6 hours at the train station for you. I watched the train we had tickets for leave and two other trains come and go.”

“I am sorry Liv, I am so sorry,” he started holding up his hands showing the defeat he felt, “i didn’t want to leave you. And I have regretted it every single day since I did. Your grandfather, the right bastard he is, threatened everything. He threatened your life if I didn’t leave.”  Olivia, who had been rubbing her hands up and down her arms and pacing back and forth to keep warm, stopped in her tracks, “What?” 

Joe undid the buttons to his jacket and pulled it off before holding it out to her silently, he knew she hated being cold, that was the one of the  true southern Belle things about her, she didn’t do cold well.  

“Come on Princess, it wouldn’t be the first time you wore my jacket. I seem to remember you loved wearing my clothes.” Scowling, Olivia stepped forward and pulled her arms through the sleeves. Joe pulled it up and settled it on her shoulders.

 “He threatened to have you killed baby.” His hands stole under her the material and landed on her hips, “I couldn’t live with me being the fact that you were dead.”

  She didn’t push him away like he had thought so he pulled her  into  him, “He would have rather had his only granddaughter dead then married and in love with a lowly barber cabbie from San Francisco.”  

Tears were filling her eyes rapidly. 

“I loved,” he paused to correct himself, “love you too much to let you die.” 

“I almost did die.” She admitted softly, “I was pregnant with our child,” Joe closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, “that little girl that I was with? That’s your daughter Aurora.” He dug  his fingers into her hips and pulled her flush against him.  “I was a mess, I didn’t know what to do. I had you everyday for 3 years and we were running away to Italy to get married and then you were gone. I was alone and pregnant.” “Livia.” He started, he had heard the accounts of what happened from the boys and read the file, he didn’t want to hear from her.

 He couldn’t handle it. “You don’t have to talk about it baby. The boys filled me, Johnny said he and Pat and Harry and Kitty took turns sitting with you.”  

She nodded her head as she reached her hand to wipe the tears away, “Kitty and Pat were with me for most of the pregnancy, Johnny too. He was the one that was with me when I went to labor with Aurora.” He made a silent note to thank Johnny for stepping up and being there for Olivia. “Liv?”  Dick’s soft voice asked from the doorway,  “We need you back in here.”  “I will be right in.” She returned, cursing his timing. The tall man nodded his head and turned his back to give them privacy. “Sorry, duty calls.” His hands stole down from her waist to her ass, “I am not leaving any time soon. I am here to stay.” 

***

5 hours later

**

Joe waited in the hallway as Olivia tiptoed into the room that Lewis was passed out in to check on him and on Dick who was still sitting up with an open novel on his lap.  He couldn’t make out what they were saying but she leaned over and kissed a sleeping Lewis’s head before Dick’s lips and rejoined him in the hallway, “There’s one more stop before we can go to bed.”  

Her voice was still low, like she was afraid to wake up a grown man and cause another fight but when she walked down the hallway to another door and eased the door open, he understood, their child was asleep just feet away. 

He reached his hand up and pulled the device out of his ear and shoved it deep into his pocket, he didn’t need to hear anyone’s reactions and he was already thankful that Olivia had accidentally turned off the wire when she had straddled him on the limo ride back to the Nixon’s mansions. He didn’t want  his co-workers and Scarlett didn’t listen to him seeing his daughter for the first time up close or him and Olivia fucking like wild animals.  “Shh, it’s okay Rora, it’s just mama.’ Olivia’s voice was still soft as she smoothed her hand over the girl’s dark curls trying to soothe the little girl back to sleep. 

“Mama, love.’ The little girl mumbled sleepily as she rolled over and clutched the stuffed rabbit. “I love you, sweet girl.” She whispered as   Joe joined her and knelt on the floor next to her tears pricking his eyes. 

“This is Aurora, our daughter.”  He reached out a shaky hand and smoothed over the sleep-mussed hair and down. 

“She is,” He started pausing to clear his voice. “Perfect. She is perfect.”  She finished for him as her hand came to a rest on his forearm.  

“Yeah.” He agreed before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the side of Aurora’s head.  Olivia followed suit before rising to her feet and holding her hand out to him.  He took another glance at the little girl before taking Olivia’s proffered hand and standing up. 

She was still quiet as she led him down to the next room at the foot of another staircase that led to another floor. “This is my room.” Her normal volume was returning, “Sometimes Lew can be a little much and I need a break.”   She had released his hand and was taking steps into the room, her now free hands first undoing the zipper on her skirt and then reaching up and undoing the diamond earrings she had been wearing. 

“Fuck it.” He muttered to himself as he shut the door. As quick as he shut the door he was across the room and pulling Olivia into him by her waist, his mouth finding hers in a desperate kiss. Much like the one they had shared outside of the venue. 

The earring that had been in her hand dropped to the carpet as she reached her hands up and tangled them into his hair to pull his mouth closer to hers. 

His hands pushed the skirt down before they grasped her ass to lift her and carry her towards the bed, normally he would have been okay with fucking her against any surface in the room but it only felt right that for their first time in 5 years, it was in a bed. She pulled away from his mouth briefly to pull her top down leaving her with a black  lace strapless bra, her nipples were already hardening against the material. 

“God damn,” He muttered as she pressed another kiss to his mouth, he had dreamt about her tits and ass for years, even when he was fucking Scarlett, it was Olivia that he saw. His knees bumped against the end of the bed and he dropped her onto it. She yelped in surprise before she pushed herself up on her elbows, her eyes that were heavy with arousal never left his form as he pulled his shirt off, followed by his slacks. 

He smirked when her tongue darted out and licked her dry lips when her eyes landed on his crotch. The tip of his cock was starting to peek out of the top of his briefs and he almost thought about teasing her but the need to be inside of her was starting to be too much.

“Joe.” She whined softly pressing her thighs together trying to hide her arousal from him.  

“What is it princess?” He asked as he pushed his briefs down and off.  

“Don’t tease.” He clicked his tongue and moved to kneel on the bed, his hands forcing her knees open so he could settle between them.

 “Missed me, baby?” His fingers quickly made a path down her thigh to the wet spot on her thong. She whined in answer. 

“Use your words, baby.” He ordered dragging two fingers over the wet spot and biting back a groan.  “Joe, please.”  He clicked his tongue again and pressed his fingers against her, this time groaning in pleasure. 

She was wetter than he remembered. 

“Daddy please.” He smirked and pushed the lacy material of the thong aside, he leaned over her and captured her mouth with his before gripping his cock in his hand and rubbing it against her pussy. “Look at me.” He demanded pressing his forehead against hers. Her eyes flew open and met his and he smirked, keeping eye contact he pushed his cock into her welcoming pussy. 

“Fuck Livvy, you feel better than I remember.” 

His statement came out in almost a moan and Olivia dropped her hand down to the one that was gripping her hip, the fingertips ghosted over his flesh to his fingers and interlocked them together. In an effort to keep herself quiet, she strained her neck up and fused their mouths together. Not breaking the kiss, Joe started moving his hips slowly, pulling and pushing back into her.

 “God damn I missed you.” He panted against her mouth, his own voice quiet. It was almost like being back in college in the shared dorm room with Talbert asleep in the bunk above him, he knew that he wasn’t going to last long the first time around and he was okay with that, he just wanted her.

 “Missed you too.” She mumbled breathlessly, “fuck Joe, missed you and your big cock.” He reached his thumb down between their bodies and pressed it against her clit causing a sharp cry to escape her, he paused briefly to make sure Dick or Lewis didn’t come rushing into the room or that she didn’t wake up Aurora. 

“Shh baby, we don’t want the husbands to come in and see me fucking their nasty slutty wife.” She whined again and sank her teeth into his shoulder, to keep her moans to quiet. Her walls had contracted around him tightly and he groaned, “5 years later and you are still my naughty little slut hmm? I bet you only act like this for me.” Her muted whimper was enough answer for him. “Only yours. Only yours Joe.”  He pushed himself deeper into her as she came around him, “Fucking love you,” He started cumming in her as she started come down from her orgasm, “ never leaving you again.”

“Promise?” 

[onedayatatime-please]

Monday, Aug. 26th, 2024. 10:47 pm

I skipped yesterday again because I was once again exhausted and once I was in bed there was no going back. I really just need to try and do these a bit earlier in the day but I forget.

Important things from yesterday:

FINALLY HAD FUCKING THERAPY OH MY GOD. Therapist was very nice, I like them. I had been worried because they were my third choice, but I really liked our conversation and I can see myself actually opening up to them. As we were talking I realized I started pulling back and not giving full details on some stuff because my brain had the knee-jerk "I shouldnt say this and put this burden onto another person" anxiety, which of course is ridiculous like they are my therapist its their job, but also I couldnt stop thinking it. I also had a bit of a rough time leading up to the appointment, just so much physical anxiety. My heart was racing and I was very dizzy/lightheaded, the kind I get where if it gets worse I'll pass out. I did some simple 4 by 4 breathing which helped a bit and then once we actually started talking it gave me something to focus on and I felt better. Afterwards though I was feeling my usual post-body-anxiety nausea and fatigue.

A part of my intake was doing those depression/anxiety tests and it turns out I passed those with flying colors. I always knew my depression was worse then what I usually test as because I would often lie on those tests, and it was honestly kind of refreshing to see a score that I felt like it honestly reflected where I'm at.

Also I'm being reminded of how terrible I am with eye contact. I always think that Im pretty good at it, especially when im holding casual conversation. But then the second Im having to talk about myself in any capacity my eyes are on the floor, on the ceiling, rolling into the back of my head, fucking anything other then looking at the person im talking to. I did try a few times and it felt like touching a hot stove.

Besides all that nothing happened.

Today nothing really happened either, I did a bunch of chores and continue to be consumed by Crozier and JFJ. Specifically I found a website by a person making a book about JFJ and spent over an hour just reading through all of their essays and transcripts of his letters. Found out that his brother's nickname for him was "Jem" and that's just so fitting i could cry. One of his friends wrote in a letter after they were already finding the bodies that he was surprised that none of James' possessions had been found and Im pretty sure that is still the case. I think all that will change once they are able to exhume objects from the actual ships. I am hoping they will make a museum I can visit one day. I believe researchers say that the first twelve objects they bring to the surface will be given back to england while the rest will be given to the Inuit leaders in Canada, which I am very glad for.

Also I have read so many passages from Peglar's journal, but some how I only just found out about where he mentions Armitage? I forget the exact phrasing but the passage suggests that Peglar and Armitage were actually in love and it was Armitage's body that the journal was found on. Although that confuses me because I believe I had read somewhere that the journal was found on a body that wore a certain kind of neckerchief which was only worn by stewards? It is very possible that there are multiple different accounts on this and, like many things in this area, the truth is found along the lines of whichever story you chose to believe.

For example, I will always be convinced that JFJ was queer. You're telling me he played juliet in romeo and juliet, and was caught having a literal pillow fight IN bed with his best boy friend TWICE ?

Also I watched a silent documentary today about a trip taken to the antarctic in 1910-1912, and from that documentary I would like to share this incredible picture of a real actual penguin.

Doc was called "The Great White Silence." It ended with everyone fucking dying. As any great story of an arctic mission featuring englishmen and goofy penguins should.

No literally there was like an hour of silly penguin content. And then just. A guy committing suicide by walking into a blizzard and not coming back. Hillarious change in tune, if you ask me.

Anyways.

Im not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

Edit because I just saw this in my dash and it is simply correct:

[neveind]

The First Day

This is the first day I try to do this on this app. But it’s not the first time that I try to do this daily journal thing. I have tried to write a novel, but that didn’t work out so well. I guess I just get distracted and forgot about it. I have several little break downs this afternoon and I’m still feeling sad right now, I want to write something down hoping it will make me feel better. I don’t know if I’ll ever read this again, but I tend to write this sort of thing as pretty self loathing and embarrassing and hard to read (like those kind of instagram post you would delete after. Ps I have a diary in middle school and it’s fucking embarrassing to read and I tried to burn it but it wouldn’t burn), so probably not. Or probably I won’t write on here ever again.

The cause of everything is the failure of the final presentation I guess? After I got several unfriendly comments on the bus from my teammate this semester, I got back home and listened to welcome to my island in bed. It seems like I realized something, and I can’t hold it together anymore. I begin to cry in silence, after that I got up and started to watch Licorice Pizza and eating from a box of cookie. And when the scene of the protagonists first time having dinner together, oh no, it’s the scene where he treated his brother so nice, I realized I have literally nobody in my life, and I began to have a breakdown. I threw the cookie back to the box and I began quivering, the bitterness spread from the throat. I didn’t notice chronic pharyngitis makes my throat hurt when crying. Or it’s just always feels that way. After that I had another two little breakdowns. For dinner I cooked noodle with Pesto and Lachs. It’s kind of addicting because I have been eating this for 4 evenings.



I did a lot of self loathing and self reflection in my head. I am insensitive and unfocused. I am weak. I might be evil. I think I’m a good man, but the evil side never left me. I want genuine connections but I kept pushing everyone in my life away. I don’t know what to talk when I’m in front of strangers. I always think I’m interesting, but I’m actually boring and have nothing to say. I’m only speaking other people’s words. I’m no better than the people that I hate, and i can’t even really admit that deep down.



Am I smart?  Maybe in some things. But I’m literally fucking stupid in everything else. Am I talented? Maybe not enough to make a living out of it.



I hate the way I look. I can’t even look into a mirror or reflective surface in public. I hate where I come from. I don’t like my parents. I hate the things they did to me and I did to them. But in the end I am really my mother’s child. I am just another her in the world with slightly stronger nerves. Maybe it’s a curse, it’s in my bones.



I’m never a happy person. The feeling of isolation and otherness haunted me since I was a child. I remember being carefree as I was maybe 10? But the feeling of sadness and frustration took over me when I’m like 11 and not ever disappeared ever since. When I was a child I used to always think I won’t be able to live past adolescence because I secretly believed that I have a very big disease and it would eventually take my life. But I’m still living today so I guess that’s a win?  Well, but today I have other reasons to believe I might die a much more violent death: I will eventually lose my mind. Or die of self harm or depression. I have that thought less now. But when I do, I just can’t help feeling so so sad for myself.



I have nobody in my life. Or did I really have a life? Everything feels like a blur. I feel like a ghost. I don’t know what to do.



In less than 4 months I will be 24. I remember my mother had me when she was 24. It was 1999, a year before the new century. Was she full of hope? Was the world busy celebrating the new millennium? Do they realize the intrinsic frustration of life itself even back then?



Today is February 7th, 2023. It’s 23:33 now. I think I’m going to bed.

[painsandconfusion]

Unforgettable

With You - Part Nine

(tw: alcohol consumption (no drunkenness), language, hospitals, informed of a loved one's death, car accident, gore mention, obsession, depression, generally just very doom and gloomy)[Previous | Masterpost | Next]

Six years ago...

Oren glared across the room, absentmindedly condemning the loquacious patrons. This was a coffee shop. A place for focus and quiet chatter. It wasn’t a fucking zoo.

Well, today it was, he supposed.

He grit his teeth, shoving earbuds in and pulling up the first song on his playlist. Fella With an Umbrella. Good enough. He cranked it up, drawing out most of the shuffling and laughter around him.

The noise didn’t fit. He liked this place because it was dark. Quiet. Everything in dark stained woods and brick. Brass lamps. Dark carpet. The baristas actually knew how to make black coffee well - not just the modern hogwash of ‘frappes’ and ‘macchiatos’. This place appreciated the simple things. Timeless things. 

But not today, apparently. Not on the one day he actually needed to focus. Needed some kind of anchor to get this done.

Finally.

Oren considered leaving, but he hadn’t even gotten his coffee yet. He would have to depend on the music to get him through. 

He pulled his laptop open, staring at the blank application website.

Time to try again. Move the fuck on already.

That was harsh. Even Oren realized that was harsh.

But what else was he supposed to do? He could just keep spending mindless days in a dark, empty house. He couldn’t keep wallowing. Money was running out. He had to try again.

Med school had always been his drive. His purpose. 

His parents were so proud. His brother and sister teased him, but he knew they were proud too. It was the first good thing he’d ever done, getting that white coat.

The whole family came. Of course they did. That’s what you do when your son gets into medical school. You show up. You take pictures. You make social media posts. You go out to a classy restaurant after and sip on old fashioneds and martinis as if you actually belong there. 

You pretend.

Pretend everything is right and good and this isn’t the most fucking unnatural thing that has ever happened. As if Oren could ever be a part of a world with old fashioneds and martinis.

He never got the chance, either way. It didn’t matter how good his grades were. Didn’t matter how much they smiled and cheered or drank. He only got that one good day.

Oren hadn’t even gone to bed yet when he got the call. 

They didn’t…even have a chance. Only his sister even made it to the hospital.

The doctors told him her heart gave out just minutes before he arrived.

He sat in the waiting room for hours before eventually forcing himself back to his shitty new apartment.

He stared at the perfectly white coat hanging perfectly on its perfect fucking hanger.

Would they still be proud? Would they still be fuckign proud of him if they had known that white coat would be the reason they stayed out so late? Drove so far? Drifted into the wrong lane and got crushed by a semi?

His dad was buried in three fucking pieces - would they still be proud of him??

He’d burned the coat.

He took back the boxes from his new apartment. Left without notice. Without paying. Without calling.

He just went home. 

And sat.

He ignored the calls. Ate the shitty fucking caseroles that landed on his porch after he didn’t answer the door. The only thing he did was make sure the funerals were arranged. He talked to the lawyers and to the bank. To the insurance agents and the pastor. He got it done.

He didn’t do anything else.

For two years, he did nothing but sit in that house. Mindless. Silent.

And now when he finally worked up the energy to try to re-apply to the wretched school, his one safe haven was bustling and noisy and wrong.

He hadn’t even gotten through the contact page before ripping the ear buds out and glaring across the room again.

He turned to the table next to him. “Is there a reason it’s so fucking loud in here today?!”

The woman looked a little shocked, blinking at him. “I - it’s…there’s supposed to be live music.”

Oren’s face corkscrewed. “They never do music.”

“Well no, but someone just donated the piano, so they found someone to play and sing.”

Oren let out a long, agitated breath. “When is it going to be ov-”

The music in the shop faded, replaced with something far more natural weaving and prickling its way through the crowd - silencing them. 

Oren prickled too.

Not like he normally did. Not…bristling at the sounds or the people. Not raising his hackles or pulling back.

He just….prickled. The sensation spread over him. Down his neck, over his scalp, down his arms. His spine. Goosebumps pulling up and pulling agitated flesh into tentative anticipation.

The air left his lungs as their voice took its place. It swelled inside him. The patrons stilled and fell silent, but…it was more than that. 

The world stopped.

If there’d been wind, it would have fallen into a stupor to watch.

The sun would have stopped shining had it been day. 

The air thinned and thickened around him, pulling him to his feet to see over the heads of the crowd.

They were so much smaller than he’d imagined.

And so…white.

Like an angel. A dove. A beacon in the dark room with its dark floors. The ebony and ivory of the piano striking against their flesh and their clothes - both sparkling under the cheap can lights that pinned down on them at the front of the room.

Their eyes were closed as they sang. Their fingers almost danced over the piano, brushing the keys more than pressing - a spectacle even without the music that followed.

But that music. The life. The………..Oren didn’t have words to describe it. Their voice sucked the life straight out of him, ripping open a gash in his heart and filling it with ice and warmth and breathlessness that sent him spinning.

Everything about them was…transcendent. Serene. Otherworldly.

Their skin almost melded into their silver hair, white and clear and wholly impossible. Not a fleck of color or darkness on them - nothing but a strike of ink-black lipstick that outlined each word that dripped like honey from their lips. The tremor of the pitch pulled at their throat, straining and wavering it in the gentlest, almost imperceptible way. Oren couldn’t pull his eyes away as the gentle, warm tones of Unforgettable permeated the room. Somehow so much richer and more intimate that Nat King Cole could ever have hoped to perform it.

Oren was transfixed. Suspended in time.

He didn’t fall back down to his seat. He didn’t look at the barista as his coffee came - nor as it went cold. He didn’t notice or care as the crowd lost interest, falling back into idle chitchat. 

He just stared.

Several numb, impossible hours later, the keyboard cover slid carefully back down over the ivory keys. The little dove stood, gathering their music to go, offering the smallest smile as the crowd clapped. Their face flushed red.

Any of that enchanting, mindless confidence they’d had while they were lost in the music slipped away at the attention, curving their shoulders up as they pulled the folder of music in front of them. Hiding behind it.

Oren was more than happy to spend the rest of his life making sure they never felt the need to hide again.

His fingertips traced numbly across the top of his laptop, folding it shut.

He had a new dream.

And he needed to go introduce himself to it.

.

[Previous | Masterpost | Next]

(tags: @prisonerwhump @whumpawink @mabledonut @heathenwhump @jadeocean46910 @paleassprince @distinctlywhumpthing @kesskirata @tropes-for-my-md-daydreams @wormwriting @batfacedliar-yetagain @paranoiaxagent @siren-of-agony @yells-in-lowercase @thecitythatdoesntsleep @whumpworld @bandages-andobsessions @rose-pinkie @whumpasaurus101 @shameless-dumbass @cryptidhongo @darlingwhump @cursedscribbles)

As always, just lmk if you want to be added or removed from any tag lists!

[ginnyweasleymybeloved]

summer breezes / george weasley

hi crew :) idk why i wrote this but i was in a george mood so here we go ;)

summary: george acts like he hates you, he doesn’t really hate you. you act like you hate him, but you don’t really hate him. chaos ensues.

slight neville x reader for a second

word count: 6.9k

warnings: swearing, george being mean, lil angsty, fluffy at the end, reader’s house is not specified <3, mentions of food, kissing

let me know what you think ;)

“And what do you expect me to do? By the time I’d even realised I was falling I’d already landed face first on the proverbial concrete,” you groaned out in exasperation, while your best friend looked at you with so much distaste that anyone would’ve thought you’d murdered his family pet.

He shook his head, a scowl as clear as day splashed across his lips as he reprimanded you for your heart’s foolishness, “Of all people…” he scoffed in disgust, “Honestly, Y/n.”

“You know, you shouting at me isn’t going to fix anything,” he rolled his eyes at your statement and racked his eyes over your disheveled state. You’d obviously been battling with yourself over your—unfortunate—crush for some time. As your best friend, Ron Weasley knew he’d have to soften up on you eventually, but honestly, it was your own fault for falling for one of his disastrous siblings.

You were currently sprawled out on Harry’s bed, across from the red-headed boy you’d known since you were in nappies, your arms hanging off the edges of Harry’s four-poster. Neither you or Ron had a clue where Harry, or Hermione, had disappeared off to today. Harry was probably on the quidditch pitch practicing while Hermione haunted the library, you supposed as you listened to Ron’s rantings, wishing they’d been there to mediate.

“—of all of my siblings too! You couldn’t have picked, oh I don’t know, Charlie? Or Fred even? Merlin, even Ginny! But no! You just had to go and bloody fall for the only Weasley who actively cannot stand you.” You only caught that portion of his rave, having gotten lost in the idea of being coddled sympathetically by Harry or Hermione. You adore Ron, really, he’s your loyalist and longest friend, but Merlin was he a total drama queen.

“Charlie is five years older than me, Fred is my wingman and honestly, I snogged him on a dare last summer and I wasn’t that impressed and in case you’ve forgotten, Ronald, Ginny is dating Harry,” you lectured, ignoring how he rolled his eyes as you continued, “Also I’m well aware that he hates me. You don’t need to keep reminding me.”

His composure cracked after hearing your depressed mumble, and with a sigh he moved from his spot on his own bed and made the short trip over to Harry’s. Ron gently pulled you into a sitting position on the edge of the mattress and sat himself down next to you. He let out a heavy sigh, still slightly shaking his head—he couldn’t seem to stop—, then he dropped a heavy arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side, finally offering you the comfort you’d been seeking out in the first place.

“S’alright, Y/n. Maybe he’ll get hit in the head with a bludger and forget he’s hated you since he was four.” Ron encouraged, very weakly.

You released a sigh of your own at that, “I feel like I’m betraying myself here. Like I’m letting that stupid git win.” Ron couldn’t stop the laugh he let out at your grumble.

“I’ll be honest, I thought he’d be the first to crack. You can be quite scary when you get going.” Ron divulged, shuddering at the memories of when he’d been on the receiving end of your rath.

Your family and the Weasley family had been extremely close since before you or Ron were even born, which meant you’d grown up alongside all of the Weasley children. Of course, because of your ages you and Ron had been attached at the hip as infants and remained that way even now, late into your fifth year of Hogwarts. Most of the Weasley children simply adored you, as you did them. However, there was one boy who, for whatever reason, hated you to your very core and as far as you could remember; he always had.

He is none other than the younger of the two twins; George Weasley. Despite the fact that Fred was actually quite fond of you, his twin refused to warm up to you in any way, shape or form. No, the tall and annoyingly attractive boy had made it his life’s mission not to get along with you, but instead, wage a war on you that spanned for the entirety of your childhood and adolescence.

“When did things change? When did it stop being a challenge? When did it start affecting me like this? I used to take his insults like a champ! I used to get him back worse!” You wondered out loud, letting your head flop onto Ron’s broad shoulder as he let out a puff of air through his nose.

“You still take it like a champ, numpty,” he chastised you gently, recoiling ever so slightly when you lurched forward in complete defeat. Your hands shot up to cover your face as you rested your forehead against your knees.

“No! I don’t,” you murmured dejectly, lifting your face from your hands to make eye contact with Ron. “Do you remember the other night in the Great Hall? When Neville told me he thought my hair looked pretty? And George, out of bloody nowhere, comes over and says and I quote, ‘I wouldn’t waste your time on this one, Longbottom. You’d have a better time kissing that toad of yours.’ Do you remember that?” Ron raised an eyebrow and nodded in confusion, your voice seemed to be steadily rising in octaves as you recalled the events of the other night. He had to admit, it had been an unusually unnecessary comment on George’s part, but the youngest Weasley boy wasn’t really sure where you were going with it.

“Well do you remember how I had said, ‘how’s that girlfriend of yours, Georgie? Figured out a way to make her stop being invisible yet?’ and then remember I rushed off? Do you wanna know where I rushed off to?” You pressed, watching intently as Ron nodded his head, unsure if he even wanted to know. “I went to the bathroom and I cried! I cried, Ron! Over something George bloody Weasley said to me!”

His eyes widened at that. Never once had George ever managed to properly upset you.

“And over something as small as that? I’ve heard him say a lot worse to your face.” Ron said in disbelief and you nodded, expression mimicking his as if you couldn’t believe it yourself.

“Right? And it’s like everytime he says something mean to me now my stomach drops and it actually hurts,” Ron regarded you softly, his eyes sad while he rubbed your back as you buried your face in your hands yet again, “Do you know what’s worse though?”

Ron opened his mouth to hazard a guess but no sound escaped as he drew nothing but blanks.

“I actually care what he thinks of me now. As if I actually value his idiotic opinions of me.”

It was at that moment that Harry entered the room sporting muddy quidditch gear and a confused expression, “May I ask why we’re having a heart to heart on my bed?”

Ron shrugged, continuing to rub soothing circles into your back as he told Harry mournfully, “Y/n likes George.”

“Merlin.” Harry whispered, as horrified to learn of your crush as Ron had been. “But, Y/n, he hates you! I mean he really hates you-“ the chosen one was cut off by a pillow making contact with his face. Ron had chucked it at him the second he felt your form begin to shake beneath his touch.

“Bloody hell, Harry! You’ve gone and upset her even more!” He whispered harshly. Harry quickly set his broom down and plopped himself down beside you, leaving you trapped between himself and Ron. The green-eyed boy rested his cheek against your lightly shaking back and managed to snake his arms around your torso.

“Sorry. Shouldn’t have said that.” He told you genuinely. “Should we go and find Hermione?”

You only shook your head. Embarrassment quickly overtook you as you realised your were crying in front of your two best friends over George fucking Weasley.

“No. No, I’m okay. It’s fine,” you sat up and hastily wiped your tears away.

“It’s okay to be upset, Y/n,” Harry spoke softly, squeezing your middle in a short hug, getting mud from his quidditch practice all over you.

With a resolute shake of your head you stood up and faced the boys, who each looked at you with pity filled eyes, then you spoke as steadily as you could, “I’m not upset. He hasn’t upset me,” you weren’t fooling anyone, really. Your eyes were bloodshot, your cheeks and nose were red and your voice was slightly hoarse when you spoke. The boys entertained you anyway, nodding in agreement.

“I’m telling you this as his brother and your best mate; you can do better.” Ron told you honestly, he wasn’t lying either, you were the type of girl who could get any boy she wanted without lifting a finger. Well, not any boy—obviously— but that wasn’t anything to do with you. Ron had his suspicions in regards to why his brother acted like such a knob towards you, however he’d been thrown off his scent recently when the older ginger stopped being mean to you teasingly in favour of being just plain mean.

You gave Ron the best smile you could muster at his words, “You are absolutely right, Ronald.”

Harry snorted before making his way over to Ron’s trunk, he rifled through it for a few seconds before pulling out one of Ron’s jumpers. He casually tossed, what you recognised to be Ron’s Christmas jumper from Molly, over to you with a grin, “Put that on. I got muck all over you.”

You had plenty of your own Christmas jumpers made by Molly Weasley but they were all the way over in your own dorm. Besides, you liked stealing the ones made for the boys as they were usually far too big for you which made them extremely comfortable to wear.

So you happily pulled the maroon jumper over your head, the wool effectively covering your dirtied t-shirt.

“Oh yes, by all means, you two just work away.” Ron grunted sarcastically. In all honesty, he didn’t care if you stole every piece of fabric he owned, if it made you feel better, he couldn’t care less.

“Right,” you said, making your way to the door of the dorm room, “I think I’ll go for a walk before the sunsets, calm myself down a bit.”

The boys nodded, “See you at dinner?” Ron asked and you gave him a smile and a small nod of confirmation before you set off out of the Gryffindor common room.

Thankfully, you didn’t run into George on your way out. You walked peacefully through the gardens and behind the greenhouses, it was around five in the evening and the sun was beginning to stoop low behind the tree line. The days were beginning to take on a chill as October approached quickly, you’d gone out without grabbing a jacket and you couldn’t deny that you were beginning to feel the cold nipping at your skin despite Ron’s jumper. Pulling the sleeves further down your wrists you carried on, trudging forward through the fallen leaves of the garden, you weren’t ready to go back inside yet. Going back to the castle meant you’d have to look your problem in the face, literally. You settled on the fact that you’d rather endure the physical cold rather than the emotional coldness you were sure to receive from George at dinner.

When you’d reached the back of the third greenhouse you could faintly hear someone humming to themselves and a soft smile found your lips when you saw who it was. Neville sat on a chair in the greenhouse, right by a plant that you hadn’t a clue what it was called, seemingly humming the little tune for the plant in question. Despite his undeniable clumsiness, there was something about Neville Longbottom that soothed you greatly. He has a good soul and his heart is usually in the right place, even if his head is sometimes screwed on slightly loose.

Gently, trying not to startle him you knocked on the closed door of the greenhouse before you opened it and walked in, “Hi, Neville. Mind if I join you?”

Neville blushed slightly but nodded his head, “Course! There’s a spare chair just there,” he pointed nervously to the chair. Once you settled yourself beside him, he let himself relax slightly.

“What sort of plant is this?” You asked him curiously. You really liked plants but you weren’t the best at keeping them alive, Neville though, seemed to be something of a green thumb.

He beamed at your question and quickly began to explain everything about the plant before you. You didn’t absorb a lot of it but listening to Neville speak so freely, something he rarely got to do amidst the other Gryffindor boys, filled you with a sense of serenity. Between his voice and the light wind that blew against the glass building, you’d completely forgotten about your red-headed problem.

“—sorry, I’m probably boring you. My nan says I have a tendency to ramble.” He cut himself off, cheeks heating up as he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.

With a small giggle you only shook your head at the brown haired boy, “You’re not boring me at all! I quite like listening to you speak,” you admitted although you felt a bit silly after saying it out loud. Neville seemed to grow even more flustered after the words left your lips.

His eyes searched your face for any sign that you were teasing him, but all he saw was your kind eyes and comforting smile. Not exactly sure about what to say to you, Neville made an observation, “You’re cold.”

You gave him a nonchalant shrug, “I’m okay.”

Completely unsatisfied with your answer, Neville shook his head in protest and shrugged off his jacket. He was used to spending a lot of time in the garden so he was usually sporting far more layers than necessary, just in case. “Here, wear this. You’ll catch a cold otherwise,” he fretted and you didn’t have the heart to turn his offer down, you didn’t want to turn it down either, you were absolutely freezing. Gratefully you accepted the jacket and wasted no time in pulling it on.

“Thank you, Neville,” he looked you over for a moment, you could tell he was debating with himself on whether or not to speak, after a long few seconds of his eyes running over you he spoke.

“You look nice- I, uh, the jacket. You look nice in the jacket- I mean, the jacket looks nice on you-“ another giggle left your lips and effectively put the boy’s fumbled ramble to an end.

“Again, thank you, Neville. You are unbelievably kind.” You told him sincerely, quite enjoying the blush that adorned his cheeks.

“We should probably head back to the castle for dinner now. It’s gotten dark,” Neville said, standing up after giving his plant a loving pat.

The walk back to the castle with Neville was nice. The pair of you chatted idly about school subjects and house drama, but you had to admit, you weren’t paying a huge amount of attention to the conversation.

“Thanks again for lending me your jacket,” you said sweetly, shrugging the jacket off as you reached the main hall of the castle.

Neville, who seemed to be in a perpetual state of bashfulness, took the jacket back gently, a rosy blush painting his features, “It was no problem, really.”

Neville had always been incredibly kindhearted, sometimes to his own detriment. He treated people with respect and never turned anyone away if they needed help with anything at all. He is sweet, honest, loyal and, whether you liked him or not, he is indisputably adorable. And you found yourself thinking about how entirely better your life would be if your heart had chosen Neville to have a romantic fondness towards.

After separating from Neville, you made your way towards the Great Hall. On your way you bumped into Fred Weasley, who surprisingly, wasn’t accompanied by his twin. He greeted you with a wide smile and, as he always did, he ruffled your hair.

“So! I have a proposition for you,” the look on his face as he spoke was nothing short of wicked, a pit of nerves began to form in your stomach with the way his eyes were lit up excitedly.

“What are you proposing?” You encouraged exhaustedly. Whatever it was would probably end with you running from Filch.

Fred lopped his long arm around your shoulder, effectively pulling you along with him as he walked in the opposite direction of the Great Hall. Any chance of you getting fed this evening had gone out the window the second Fred clapped eyes on you, you’d made your peace with it. “I’m glad you asked, princess- “ at the sound of the pet name you let out a guttural groan.

“Freddie, please, I’m not in the mood to help you make some poor girl jealous just so you can get a snog,” you whined weakly only for the boy to ruffle your hair and tug you closer to his side.

“Let me finish! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” he paused to glare at you jokingly and you smiled apologetically, “I have a plan to make George stop acting like a prat.”

A disbelieving scoff left your lips, “Yeah that’s likely,” Fred laughed and pinched your cheek lightly before carrying on.

“Angelina told me that she heard you crying in the girls toilets the other night,” he informed you. Your eyes widened in shock and confusion, you didn’t think anyone was in there with you and you also couldn’t piece together what your moment of weakness had to do with Fred’s master plan. “And before you start, I know it’s because of George.”

“That’s ridiculous, Fred.” You lied, unconvincingly.

Fred laughed again, it was a gentle laugh that let you know he hadn’t come here to tease you but to help you, “I know it’s ridiculous and that’s exactly why I know you’ve been so down in the dumps the last few days.”

“Besides,” he started again when you remained silent, “Why else would Ron be giving his brother the silent treatment?”

“What does any of this have to do with your plan?” You asked, eyes sad and heart heavy for the second time that day. You’d only just managed to get the whole thing out of your mind, and yet, here it was again.

“Well I happen to know why George acts the way he does,” you met him with a raised eyebrow and a bored expression.

“Because he hates me, I know.” Fred’s lips grew into a wicked grin and he shook his head, coming to a stop in the middle of the hallway.

“That’s where you’re wrong. He doesn’t hate you,” he lowered his lips to hover right by your ear before he whispered quietly, “He loves you.”

With a roll of your eyes, you pushed the boy away, fixing him with a hard stare, “Come on, Fred. That’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking!” He exclaimed desperately, “We were in potions making amortentia, yeah? And Slughorn called George up to tell the class what he smelled and do you know what he said?” Fred retold madly, knowing full well that this was possibly the only opening he’d get to make the two of you realise your own feelings. Fred was well aware that you developed a crush on George, he picked up on it the second you began looking crestfallen when hit with a snide remark from his twin. He knew long before now that George had loving feelings towards you too, but their recent potions class was the only hard evidence he had to support his theory.

You shrugged helplessly in response, and Fred grabbed your shoulders and looked down at you urgently, “He said it smelled of cloudberries, daisies and-this is a direct quote-‘summer breezes’,” you stared at him numbly, not exactly sure what to say as the description did match the perfume you’d been wearing regularly since you were thirteen.

“That’s you, Y/n!” Fred confirmed and you pulled your lips between your teeth before shaking your head in complete denial.

“Lots of girls wear that perfume-“ Fred cut you off, ruthlessly.

“Name one.” You racked your brain but you genuinely couldn’t name another person who wore the same perfume as you. “You can’t, can you? Because it’s your smell!”

“Ok fine! So it’s my smell, what exactly do you expect me to do with this information?” Fred rolled his eyes in exhaustion at you.

“Blimey, you’re as daft as he is sometimes, do you know that?” Fred ran his hands down his face in exasperation before looking at you softly, “I except you to come with me so we can drive him mental for a bit and if he gets nasty I’ll embarrass him because I’m an incredible brother.”

You let him lead you towards Gryffindor Tower all while complaining about how you were starving only for Fred to hush you each time you let out a hungered whine, “We can raid the kitchen later on, love,” he promised and you sighed in defeat, “That’s the spirit.”

When the pair of you entered the Gryffindor common room, George was already there, probably waiting for Fred to return it. He sat one one of the sofas that faced the fire, completely relaxed and you hated the fact that you thought he looked amazingly ethereal with the way the flames from the fire lit his skin in an orange glow.

He hadn’t noticed you yet and Fred took notice of this. The older twin subtly slid his hand into yours and intertwined your fingers with his before turning his head and shooting you a mischievous wink. Fred Weasley was a nightmare, but when he was on your side, he never failed to make you smile.

Accepting that whatever Fred was about to drag you into would result in nothing but chaos you took a deep breath and followed Fred over to the sofa.

“What is she doing here?” George practically seethed, despite the intensity of his glare, you didn’t miss the nervous look he shot in Fred’s direction. What you had missed, though, was how harshly he’d clenched his jaw upon noticing your intertwined hands.

You decided that tonight you’d play the game slightly differently, if what Fred was saying was true, it would make things all the more entertaining. So, instead of your usual menacing glare and ego-shattering insult you met George with an innocent smile, “Was just hanging out with Freddie, thought I’d come say hello,” you said, sitting in the middle of the two twins.

George stared at you suspiciously, “Hello. That all?”

“Hi. No, actually, I think I’ll sit with you for a while. If that’s okay?” Fred was smirking from his spot beside you as he watched George’s face contort.

“You’ve never wanted to sit with me before.” He told you, squinting his eyes and trying to decipher what you were up to. He couldn’t lie to himself, he definitely wouldn’t mind you staying so close to him for a while, however he’d also sooner die then let you think you had the upper hand.

His and your composure cracked simultaneously at your next sentence, your truthful and somewhat vulnerable mumble of, “Well, you’ve never given me a chance to.” He knew you were right so he didn’t say anymore, opting to shift his gaze to the roaring fire, trying his best not to let his mind linger on the fact that you were wearing his brother’s jumper. His nose perked up at the scent that drifted from your spot, unusually close to him. There was no doubt in his mind that he’d fancied you for a long time, but, there was also no denying that he’d done a perfect job of making you hate him. Yet, as much as he wanted to just cut the crap, tell you that he thinks you’re the most insufferably beautiful girl he’d ever seen and kiss you and never ever stop, his pride would never allow him to cave. Especially not when you challenged him so effortlessly.

“So how come you were headed to dinner so late anyway?” Fred piqued up, growing tired of the lack of hostility between yourself and his twin.

“Oh. I was sort of worked up earlier so I decided to go for a walk ‘round the greenhouses. I bumped into Neville and I suppose I just lost track of time,” you explained halfheartedly.

Fred let yet another smirk overtake his face, “Longbottom, eh?” He wiggled his eyebrows and you let out a short giggle while shaking your head, sure, it would’ve been a good topic to tease George with, however, Neville was simply too sweet to be used as a pawn.

“Don’t get me wrong, he’s very sweet. But he’s just a friend,” George looked almost satisfied with that answer, his usual scowl making an appearance once again.

“He could do better.” It was a barefaced lie. Neville couldn’t do better than you. In fact, George was of the firm belief that nobody could do better than you.

“Of course he could, he’s quite the charmer,” you spoke wistfully, finally giving Fred the show he’d been hoping for, as you egged George on.

George pretended to think for a moment, “I’m sure he is. Personally I think you’d be more suited to Filch, although, I’ve heard his standards are quite high.”

You took the boy by surprise when you laughed, the airy giggle left your mouth had such a profound effect on George that he almost wished he’d kept his mouth shut. His heart was leaping and there were butterflies beginning to form in his stomach, he physically had to will himself not to stare at you in awe when your eyes turned to meet his. The glow of the fire only aided in showing him how gorgeous those stupid eyes of yours are. “Mmm, yeah I suppose I should lower my expectations,” you paused briefly and mimicked George’s earlier motion of pretending to mull over your options. Your next action had Fred practically howling with laughter.

“You’re available, aren’t you Georgie?” You’d asked in a mock sultry tone, leaning towards him and lightly brushing your hand down his arm. Loving the way he choked on air you got up from the sofa, not before shooting him a wink, and sauntered towards the portrait hole, “I’ll be in the kitchens. See ya later, sexy.” You directed the last part at George, who looked as though he’d been frozen in time as Fred’s laughter grew in volume.

Upon entering the kitchen, the house elves had fussed around you, handing you food at any given opportunity. You had finished eating a while ago, you were currently nursing a hot cup of tea while chatting away to one of the house elves, only to be interrupted by someone else entering the kitchen.

He set his sights on you and quickly moved to the seat across from you, a look of urgency on his face that reminded you of Fred, “Whatever he told you. It’s not true,” you raised an eyebrow, sipping your tea uncaringly.

“Mind elaborating?” You asked tiredly.

“Fred.”

“Thank you, George, very clear and helpful,” you grumbled sarcastically and the boy let out a huff.

“You were acting different. You know something. What did he tell you?” George demanded through gritted teeth and you only deflated against your chair. It always boggled your mind how everyone described George as the nicer of the twins.

Not answering, you decided to start asking your own questions, “Can I ask you something?”

“Seems like you’re going to no matter what I say,” he sighed out as an elf pottered up to him and handed him a cup full of hot tea. He took it gently and thanked the elf with such sincerity that you wished you hadn’t seen the exchange, simply because it stung to know he’d never treat you with that level of sincerity.

“Why do you hate me so much?” He sat frozen for a second. Your tone of voice took him by surprise. It was needy bordering on desperate, nothing like he’d ever heard you speak before, not to him anyway.

George took a sip of his tea and shrugged as if the question was a stupid one, “I don’t.” A cold, humourless laugh came from you in response, the kind of laugh that made his stomach drop.

“Bollox. I’m being serious, George. Tell me what it is about me that makes me so insufferable to you!” You exclaimed, heart rate increasing and tone raising in octaves as you felt yourself growing more upset by his reserved expression.

George let out a heavy sigh, the jig was about to be up. You were upset and merlin was he tired of pretending that he didn’t want you in every way, shape and form.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.” There was no trace of hesitance or uncertainty in your voice, at this point you didn’t care what the answer was you just had to know.

“Fine,” he said all too casually and you knew by his tone that he, as per usual, wasn’t taking you seriously. “I don’t hate you. The only insufferable thing about you is how annoyingly gorgeous-“ you cut him off right then, with a scoff of pure disbelief.

Shaking your head rapidly, you stood from your chair and all but stormed out of the kitchen. His footsteps began to echoed behind you a few corridors later, he would’ve caught up to you sooner had your response to his would be confession not left him completely immobile. He called your name but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop. Tears stung your eyes and you absolutely refused to let him know that he’d managed to bring you to the point of tears. Not that it was the first time.

“Bloody hell, Y/n! Hold on would you?” He called, finally getting close enough to reach out and grab your wrist. He spun you around to face him and quickly placed his hands on your upper arms to stop you from doing another runner. When he took you in he swore he’d never hate himself more than he did the moment he looked at you to see your eyes filled with tears, small drops escaping and carving a trail down your cheeks while you sniffed miserably.

“What?” You snapped, hostility the only thing you felt like offering the ginger in the moment. His brown eyes bored into yours with so much intensity but they held something you didn’t recognise. They looked sad, almost.

“I wasn’t making fun of you.” He stated honestly but you furrowed your eyebrows, your eyes set in a glare.

“Then what were you doing?” You croaked, letting your tears fall freely as the damage was already done. The sinking of your stomach and the tightening of your chest didn’t do a thing to ease your mind as George’s hands squeezed your arms.

He licked his lips quickly, he felt they’d become unbearably dry, and then slowly, he let his hands trail down your arms and took your smaller hands into his own. He hoped you were feeling the same electricity he was when he touched you.

“I’ve been a prick to you. You didn’t deserve it and I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere, but you second guessed him. For all you knew it was just some elaborate prank, Fred was probably in on it too.

When your gaze didn’t soften, he continued to speak, “So I understand why you wouldn’t believe me when I tell you that I don’t hate you. But I just-“ he cut himself off with a heavy sigh.

“You just what?” You squeaked when his eyes spent a moment too long observing your lips. You hardly had time to register the feeling of his hands leaving yours before they were cupping your cheeks instead. “What’re you doing?” You wondered, completely dazed by the way he stared at you. His warm hands holding your face causing your stomach to jolt in an entirely different sensation than before. As much as you wanted to push him away and tell him to shove his apology, you couldn’t help but take him in. His lips were parted ever so slightly and his cheeks were flushed, probably from chasing you through the castle, his hair was disheveled and merlin he looked like he wanted to kiss you.

Your question floated in the air, completely unanswered. Next thing you knew his lips were on yours. He kissed you as if you were oxygen and he’d just been drowning and you couldn’t help but move your lips harmonically against his too. Your hands clutched his wrists as he continued to cradle your cheeks. In all honesty you weren’t sure at what point he’d backed you against the wall, or at what point his tongue had entered your mouth or when exactly his hands had migrated to your hips, yours now tangled in his hair. His body was pressed flush against yours and the small groans he’d let out when you tugged at his hair or ran your tongue against his made you realise that you couldn’t care less if this was one big prank or joke. It was happening and that’s all you cared about.

Even as he reluctantly pulled away, he chased your lips with several shorter kisses before separating entirely. He rested his forehead against yours, his guard completely down now as he admired your swollen lips and heaving chest. The feeling of your fingers in his hair made it nearly impossible for him to keep his lips detached from yours, “You’ve no idea how many times I’ve thought about doing that.”

Your eyes searched his face for any sign that he was lying, when you found none you finally let yourself smile. A similar smile formed on George’s face, “I meant what I said earlier. I really do think you’re annoyingly gorgeous,” the boy silently praised himself when you let out a cute giggle.

“You’re quite cute too. When you’re not running that massive mouth of yours,” you teased although you weren’t really joking, to your surprise George let out a bellowing laugh before placing a fluttering kiss against your lips.

When he pulled away again he looked around the hallway, as if he only now realised where he was. Luckily nobody was wandering the halls since curfew was fast approaching and the unwelcoming cold that occupied the hallways left little reason for students or staff to be out and about. George slid his hand into yours again, this time intertwining your fingers with his. He gave you a hopeful glance and asked, “Do you wanna go somewhere?”

You nodded your head and let him tug you into one of the abandoned astronomy classrooms on the upper floor of the castle, Filch rarely ever patrolled up there which is why George decided on it. As well as that, since the classroom, which had been out of use for a good few years, had been used for astronomy the ceiling was bewitched to reflect the night sky.

George hadn’t come to this particular class in a while but thinking on his feet he remembered the cupboard at the back of the classroom used to hold blankets, he remembered when the classroom had been in use during his first year, students would be all but freezing during the winter, so they’d stocked the classroom with blankets to be brought out during the colder months.

He made his way over to the cupboard and grinned happily when his hand landed on a rather large woollen blanket. The material was scratchy but it would do for what he needed it for. He grabbed one more blanket from the dusty press before he made his way back over to you.

George suppressed a chuckle as he watched you, your face completely turned up, watching the stars on the ceiling with awe in your eyes. He busied himself with laying the wool blanket out on the bare floor, the room was devoid of tables and chairs so he didn’t have to worry about finding a space. Once he was finished, he plopped down on the blanket and expectantly patted the empty space beside him, “Come on then, sit down,” he urged and you finally tore your eyes away from the charmed ceiling.

A small laugh left your lips when you settled yourself down beside him, he wasted no time in covering the pair of you in the second blanket. With an exaggerated sigh he laid back and waited for you to do the same, he turned on his side to face you when you did. In contrast to earlier, George had an air of nervousness about him as he deftly took your hand and began playing with your fingers, not meeting your eyes. “Just out of curiosity,” he began quietly, making eye contact with you now, “What exactly did Fred tell you?”

His question forced a somewhat smug smirk to crawl onto your lips and you couldn’t help but take the opportunity to tease him. You leaned up on your elbows and twisted slightly so you could look down at him, trying not to waste too much time admiring the view, you answered him, “Oh, nothing really. Your lovely twin just happened to mention that you had a very eventful potions class the other day…” you trailed off, biting back a smile as he groaned.

“Mhm and what was it that he said you smelled from the amortentia?” You poked his cheek and he closed his eyes, a tiny smile growing on his face despite his blushing cheeks. “Cloudberries…oh! And daisies, now, what was the other thing? Let me think-“ you pretended to ponder before George cut you off by pulling you down on him and pressing his lips to yours in a kiss much softer than any of the others.

“Summer breezes,” he whispered against your lips before connecting them again, “It smelled like you,” and with that his hand snaked to the nape of your neck as he pressed his lips against yours, pouring all of his feelings into it, hoping it was enough. In all honesty, now that he’d felt what it was like to love you, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to go back to pretending to hate you.

Once he pulled away you were completely breathless, however, George seemed to have more to say. “I don’t want us to go back to the way we were,” absentmindedly you brushed his hair out of his eyes, stroking the red strands soothingly as he continued to confide in you, his voice, face and body completely vulnerable to you. Something about him trusting you with his feelings reassured you that his intentions were pure and banished any notion you possessed of the whole thing being a joke, “I didn’t like it, acting like that but you were always so unbothered that I felt like I had keep one upping you,” he confessed.

“You always gave me this feeling in my stomach whenever you’d come over to the Burrow with your parents when we were little and I didn’t understand it. I just thought that it must’ve meant I didn’t like you…” George seemed to get lost in his own mind as he gazed at you regretfully, his fingers trailed the length of your spine sofly, “By the time I realised, we were both older and I suppose I just thought you couldn’t feel the same ‘cause I made you hate me,” you hummed in acknowledgment, your fingers still working his hair, keeping it out of his eyes that looked at you so intently that you could’ve drowned in them and died happy.

“But then the other night after dinner Angie slapped me upside the head and talked my ear off about how out of order I’d been—obviously I agree with her! You weren’t even talking to me but Neville was complimenting you and I don’t know… just got possessive,” he muttered the last part, losing some confidence but regained it upon seeing the little smile on your lips. “Then Ron looked about ready to push me off the astronomy tower when I saw him this evening. Blimey, I knew it had to have something to do with you since Harry was snippy too.” You had to laugh at the exhausted look on his face when he recalled your two best friends.

Mockingly, you gave him a stern look and clicked your tongue, “Well, perhaps if you weren’t so mean to me all of this could’ve been avoided,” George groaned once again, feeling guilty he pulled you even closer and buried his face in your neck.

“M’sorry,” you carded your fingers through his hair, pressing a soft kiss to his head. Your lips against his head caused him to lift his face from the crook of your neck, “Forgive me?” He asked, a cute pout on his lips.

“I’ll think about it,” you teased, giggling at the offended look on his face. George let out a dissatisfied sigh, he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear before giving you a toothy smile.

“Don’t worry, love. I plan on making it up to you.”

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Be Here | The Mikaelson Boys

Hey lovelies! You ever just take a year to write a part two? Well, thanks to @hellotvshowtrash 's writing challenge I have finally written the second part to Come Back. I straight up just sat down and wrote this in less then two hours. The muses have blessed me and said Elijah Mikaelson reunion fic or nothing. I am not stupid-- I will not deny them. Shoutout to Lottie (@imdreamingwiththestars) for making me miss these boys <3

Description: Elijah was dead and now he's not, stand-alone sequel to Come Back

Pairing: The Mikaelson Boys x Fem!Reader, Mainly Elijah

Prompt: "What was it like to die?"

Warnings: rushed writing, mentions of depression

Word count: 2k

Tags: Soft Angst and then Fluff

It’s been two years— well, almost two years. One year, eight months, and seventeen days. But who’s counting, right? Certainly not you. Certainly you wouldn’t be stupid enough to honestly believe that he’s coming back. Even after the promises. His promises and their promises— it doesn’t matter. Both mean nothing. You don’t blame them but you would be naive to believe them.

Still, you keep count— just in case. There’s no harm in that, right? Two years— one year, eight months, and seventeen days— without Elijah Mikaelson. Your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach, your throat closing like it’s been only a few hours. Maybe there’s a little bit of harm.

You press your face harder into the sweater curled under your head. It doesn’t smell like him anymore— there’s no cinnamon left, none of his at least. None of the sugary vanilla that used to encase her like a NOLA bakery. Only traces of Kol’s nutty cinnamon blend— he must’ve snuck in here last night at some point. Both him and Klaus occasionally do. You don’t blame them for that either— you don’t have a monopoly on missing Elijah Mikaelson.

Slipping out of his sheets is harder than you would admit if either of the brothers were to ask you. It’s not like they’re warm or anything— they’re just as ice cold as the rest of the room— but they’re his and the thought of going the rest of the day without them just doesn’t appeal to you the way it should. Voices flit up the stairs but you don’t strain hard enough to make out the words. You could if you wanted to but there’s no point— you don’t care anymore. Not about trivial things— not about talking. You only do it when you have to these days.

The trek across the room to the door takes what feels like an hour. In reality you’re sure it’s only seconds but, well, this time you aren’t counting so who knows— maybe it did take you an hour. Sun is filtering past the curtains now, painting a stripe through the dim room and across the oak floor. An hour. You pause beside his dresser, debating going in to dig out a new hoodie. You haven’t taken a new one in about three months but your stash is running sparse. It’s not a hard decision, pushing past the dresser and leaving it untouched— you’ll need it more later.

In the hallway things feel different. You can’t put your finger on what it is exactly. There’s a slight shift in the atmosphere and a little more of a kick to the energy in the compound. It feels alive— like everything is humming. The hair on the back of your neck raises instinctively, the answer on your tongue but not quite forming. It’s probably nothing— you haven’t slept in two weeks. It’s probably exhaustion. You’re a vampire but you’re not impervious to sleep deprivation. Time marches on whether or not you acknowledge it— whether or not you reject it. You’ve learned that the hard way.

It’s why you keep padding towards your room, feet soft on the hardwood, trying desperately not to draw the attention of whoever’s in the kitchen. The electric charge in the air follows you to your bedroom, increasing ten-fold when you cross the threshold and halting your advance. You haven’t been in here in weeks but for some reason it feels like everything’s been disturbed. Not in a noticeable way— there’s still a thin layer of dust over everything— but something’s off. Your stomach rolls as you glance around at your things, the pressure building as your neck tingles. You could honestly just fucking scream.

Still, you push further, braving the sudden unknown of your room with a burst of stamina you haven’t felt in months. Breaching the doorway feels like being sucked into a new planet, one unrecognizable and dangerous. Thankfully you don’t need oxygen because you’re pretty sure there’s none in your room. Your chest is tight— heavy— and you make quick work of changing into a new pair of shorts and a Rolling Stones t-shirt that’s been hanging untouched in your closet for at least a year. You haven’t been afraid of it, per say, but you certainly weren’t ready to wear it. Today feels like the day though.

It isn’t until you go to sit on the bed, not bothering to even try to balance as you put your socks on, that you’re finally rewarded with a clue that you may not be as crazy as you feel. It’s warm— the bed is warm. Not the whole bed— because yes, you do reach out to check— only the part you happen to sit on. It’s warm like someone was just sitting here minutes ago and you spring up as quickly as you went down, closing your eyes and pulling in as much air from the room as possible. You’re getting to the bottom of this now. When the air reaches your nose some of the pieces begin to click together—

Cinnamon.

Only a faint trace of it but still your chest jumps— is it— no don’t be stupid it couldn’t be. You thump a hand against your chest to clear the feeling as you force your legs to carry you out the door. You realize too late that you only have one sock, your bare foot pressing against the cold wood of the staircase, but you’re too far and too determined to go back now. You’ve got to find Kol and you have a pretty good idea you know where he is.

Sugar wafts to your nose as you press towards the kitchen, mixed with a touch of citrus— Klaus must’ve picked up your favourite pastries. As you reach the door voices flit stronger to your ears. You can make out Klaus’ hushed tone but not his words, followed by a comment from Kol that you can’t decipher. Good, they’re both here.

The kitchen is by far the brightest room you’ve ventured into in months, the countertops gleaming so bright you have to squint, throwing a hand over your brows. When you blink, clearing the glare however, you notice something peculiar— no pastries. You could have sworn you just smelled them—

“Love, you’re awake.” There’s a whoosh of air followed by two hands on your face and the lingering scent of honey shampoo.

You smile weakly up at Klaus, shrugging. “Was never really asleep.”

Another pair of hands wrap around your stomach, pulling you into a nutmeg chest, lips finding your head. “That’s not healthy, darling. How long’s it been now?”

Shrugging again— this time at Kol— you let your eyes wander the kitchen, nose wrinkling at the heady sugar scent. “Two weeks, give or take.”

You can’t locate the source— but, then again, you can’t see past Klaus’s worried eyes. You watch as he tosses a look behind your head, presumably at Kol. When you roll your head back though you find that his brother’s brown eyes aren’t meeting his stare but are also tilted behind him. You chest jumps again, the air thickening, energy coursing through you— what the hell is going on?

You push away from the boys, arms crossing over your chest as you turn to the source of whatever’s got the compound disrupted this morning. Opening your mouth, you go to make a snarky remark— or to scream, you aren’t sure— but when you finally see it all that comes out is a soundless gush of air. All words are lost as your eyes drag over the back of a familiar brunette head, passing down a muscled back and over sweatpants you haven’t seen worn in years. One year, eight months, and seventeen days. It’s all you can do to poke your tongue out of your mouth, sweeping it over your dry mouth and tasting sugar.

There’s just no way.

You take a step backwards, back slamming into one of the brothers but unable to tear your eyes away from the figure long enough to see who. “What— what’s happening?”

Always the noble one, Elijah Mikaelson doesn’t keep you waiting, whirling on his feet, a box of pancake mix in his hands. “Couldn’t have waited ten more minutes, baby?”

You’re not alive but for a moment it feels like your heart stops as you drink in the man in front of you. Brown hair, brown eyes, stubble on his jaw the same as the day he died. Your vision clouds over, tears tugging at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to blink them away. You’re not risking clearing a vision this clear.

You take a tentative step forward, afraid that if you move too quickly the mirage might evaporate. “Elijah?”

“Hey baby.”

If your dead heart stopped upon seeing his silhouette then it restarts when he passes you the familiar, crooked smile that you fell in love with all those decades ago— the same one you’ve been longing for since the day he left you.

Fuck tiptoeing.

You’re across the room in record time, your hair flying behind you as you launch yourself into his arms, praying to whoever will listen that your body hits something solid. There’s a muted thud followed by his arms wrapping around you— his physical, cinnamon sugar scented arms. At his reciprocated touch you finally let yourself sob. You can’t remember the last time you actually let yourself cry but you are now and it’s finally out of relief.

Your hands attack his face, palms deranged and fingers haphazardly dragging across his neck and jaw and scalp. Your shoulders are shaking, tears hot against your face and pooling over your lips but you refuse to look away from his gaze. He looks just as wild as you feel, brown eyes ticking rapidly over your features. It’s all you can do to smash your mouth against his, crying through the kiss before laughing because he still tastes like your Elijah. Like cinnamon buns and sweetness.

“This can’t be real— you’re dead. I saw you die!” You sob against his lips.

He presses his mouth back just as hard, hands digging against your skin and clawing at his band t-shirt. You reciprocate by squeezing your thighs harder around his hips, pressing your body as close to his as you can get. It’s not enough but you feel like you can finally breathe again when you crush your arms around his shoulders.

“I know—” he finally murmurs into your mouth— “but I’m here. Right here.”

You pull away, hands still carding through his soft hair, pulling at the damp strands. “‘Lijah you were dead— I— I thought you weren’t coming—”

Your chest feels heavy again but he’s quick to move, cutting your destructive train of thought with his cinnamon and honey lips. You don’t mind— he could do anything right now and you would still cling to him like your life depends on it. Kissing him has been at the top of your list for two years now— you’re not going to refuse. One of his hands lowers, hooking around your thigh and tugging you higher up his body. You’re not the only one whose life depends on staying as connected as possible.

“It’s real— I’m real. I promised you, baby. I’m back— I promise I’m back.”

Just like that you’re back to giggling against his mouth, arms anchored behind his neck. Soon your head is falling back, the euphoria rolling through your body like nothing you’ve ever felt before. You would never wish for him— for any of them— to leave you again but this feeling makes every gruelling day worth it. He’s back. As if to prove it his lips find your neck, kissing over your skin feverishly.

After a few moments of soaking in the attention of the resurrected man you finally pull yourself together enough to attempt a true conversation like a respectable woman.

“What was it like to die?”

He chuckles against your skin, shaking his head, his lips never leaving you. “I’ll tell you later— there are a few matters we need to sort out first baby, starting with getting you out of that fucking t-shirt. It’s been too long.”

Who are you kidding— he’s right and you hum your agreement, lips searching for his, desperate once more—

“One year, eight months, and seventeen days too long.”

[shus-whore]

STAY

SUMMARY: You’ve had a crush on Reiji ever since you met him, but maybe you were being too pushy. WARNINGS: angst, smut, mentions of anxiety and depression, reader is insecure about her size/weight, Reiji calls reader a whore a couple of times, not really public sex, but he fucks you in a classroom WORD COUNT: 4k

Seeing his raven hair and gloved hands from behind, a smile adorned your features. Running up to him, you began walking beside him.

"Reiji-san, need help with any experiments today?" You questioned eagerly.

"No." He stated coldly.

"Well, are you hungry?" You bared your wrist to him.

"No."

"Mmmmmm....... Is there anything you'd like me to do or help with...?" You stared up at him, a wide smile on your face.

He sighed.

"Leave. Please, leave. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm trying to spare your feelings. Stop annoying me, stop following me around, and stop offering to do things for me!  You're a bothersome woman. I mean, can't you take a hint?" He glared down at you, watching as the smile fell from your face.

"I- I-..." You looked down at the floor, swallowing your tears.

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"He really said that to you!?" They slammed their fist on the table causing everyone around to look at you guys, eyes wide. You let out a sigh. "Please don't make a big deal out of it, b/f/n. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinions of me."

"Tch. Like hell they are! Who would say that to such kind, beautiful person like you. Tell him to bring his ass to the front of the school so everyone can see me kick his undead ass!" They slammed their other fist on the table, a crack emerging.

You jumped, looking up at them with wide eyes.

"Please... please stop." You looked down at your wrist, sighing. Reiji wasn't the only one who wouldn't bite you, they all wouldn't, except for Laito. Maybe... it was your appearance...?

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You frantically pulled clothes from your drawer as your searched for your favorite hoodie. It was the most comfortable one you had, black, and it was baggy as hell on you. You loved it. Finding baggy clothing with your body type was difficult and annoying. Honestly, you hated shopping. It left you feeling self conscious and you never found anything that you really liked.

Pulling the hoodie from your drawer, you changed into some comfortable shorts, and that hoodie, then you cleaned the mess you made.

You fell back on your bed and stared up at the ceiling.

What were you supposed to do now?

You didn't want to cry, you were stronger than that. So what? His words were harsh, and you weren't feeling the most confident in the moment, but you'd get through it.

Usually, you'd be following Reiji around, asking if he needed help with anything. You sighed and placed your arm over your eyes.

You weren't going to cry.

You weren't going to cry.

You weren't going to cry.

So, why were you crying?

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Glancing at his doorway, Reiji quickly looked away and back down at his book. Where were you? Wait, what? What did he care you were? Anywhere but near him was perfectly fine.

He crossed his arms over his chest, sparing one last glance towards the door before continuing reading.

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The rest of that day, you made sure to keep your distance. Not only that, but you didn't even show up for dinner. Were you... avoiding him..? Usually, you would be all up on him, forcing him into hugs and never leaving his side.

Not like he missed it though!

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The ride to school was awkward to say the least. Even his brothers could feel it.

"Tch! Would you guys just make up!! The tension is so thick, how the hell am I supposed to breathe in this damn car!" Subaru was ready to kill you two.

"Pfffffft! Even Subaru the clueless noticed! That's how you know it's bad!!" Ayato was hunched over laughing.

Reiji popped him for this causing Yui to tense up. If Ayato was mad, she was collateral.

"Reiji!" He was ready to throttle the man, but Yui grabbed one of his arms.

"Ayato-kun!"

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest and glaring at Reiji.

So now  you were paying attention to him.

He immediately looked down at his book in hand, glancing up a few seconds later to find you looking out the window.

Your eyes were puffy and red. Had you been crying because of him..?

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"He what!? I'd pay money to see that!" You're friend laughed.

You knew they were trying to lighten the mood, but honestly, thinking about it made you feel worse. You averted your gaze to the floor.

"Oh no, Y/n, you're not gonna cry over that bastard, are you!?"

"Can we just drop this..?"

They smiled at you,.

"Sure, did I tell you about-..."

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Honestly, you hadn't felt this bad in a while. You felt like you were on the verge of tears every time someone glanced at you. Being this insecure was unlike you. Of course you have insecurities, everyone does, but it never usually affected you like this.

You kept your head down in the halls, messing with your hands, or sleeves, anything to calm your anxiety. Your heart was beating at 1000 miles a minute, your hands clammy, and you were working up a cold sweat.

You were literally trembling. It's just a fucking hallway. Why couldn't you walk down the hallway?

You knew they weren't watching you, you were probably forgotten in their minds, but that didn't matter.

You were on the verge of tears, your breathing unsteady. They were probably talking about you. No they weren't- but they could have been.

If they weren't talking about you earlier, they had to be talking about you now. You were walking funny, you could feel it. Actually, you looked funny too, huh? This uniform doesn't flatter you, does it? Your hair looks funny too, doesn't it?

No it doesn't. But it could have.

You speed walked to the bathroom, stumbling inside. Your legs were shaky, your nerves going crazy.

Crouching down to the floor, you held your face in your hands.

How did it get like this???

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You crouched there in the bathroom for a few seconds before collecting yourself and going back out into the hall.

You gripped onto the strap of your bag and made your way to class, trying not to stand out.

You could feel your hands clamming up again, and the cold sweat coming back.

You kept your gaze glued to the floor, trying not to trip, and watching to make sure you weren't walking funny. You were going to make it to class, and when you did, you were going to stop acting like this. That's what you repeated in your head as you walked through the hallway.

That was, until you collided with a broad figure, your bag flying onto the floor.

"S-Sorry !"

You crouched down, beginning to collect your stuff off the floor. You watched the feet of the person you previously collided with as they backed up and began to crouch down. wait... those looked like Reiji's shoes.

No, he must like a popular brand.

You looked away from his feet, praying to every god you could think of.

Please don't be Reiji!

The person crouched down and began to help you collect your fallen items. That's when you saw it, the glove.

Jumping back, you stood abruptly and grabbed your bag from the floor.

"Don't bother, I can do it myself." You glared down at him, e/c eyes burning into the hand that was reaching for one of your papers.

Ouch. "No need to be so harsh, Y/n. I caused you do drop your possessions, so I should help you collect them."

He collected the rest of your papers, and stood to hand them to you.

"Throw them in the trash, I don't want them anymore." You crossed your arms over your chest, turning to leave.

All he could do was stand there, mouth agape.

The trash?

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You skipped the rest of your classes that night, opting to sit in an empty science lab.

Reiji doesn't skip, so you're fine, and the only other empty room was the music room that Shu liked to be in.

You'd rather not go near that perverted man. He scared you.

Though, if you were being honest, you were hoping to see Reiji. Maybe just in passing, once, or maybe he'd come into the room. Maybe he'd apologize to you. Maybe he'd tell you he missed you.

Hah.

Wishful thinking, you guessed.

It's not like you were dating, why should he care if he hurt your feelings? I mean, seriously, y/n. He practically told you to fuck off.

You probably weren't his type anyways.

You pulled a chair up to the widow and gazed out at the moon.

You felt weak and stupid. I mean, he's literally never even showed signs of interests.

What were you expecting?

It's better that he told you straight up. Yeah. If you think about it, anyone else would lead you on in some sort of twisted kindness.

I mean, yeah, he waited a few months to do it, but he did it. Plus, who's to say he didn't figure out the day he told you. Maybe he thought you were just being nice to him at first.

"You know, Y/n, if you keep skipping classes, you'll end up like my good for nothing brother."

Your eyes shot to the door, red eyes meeting yours.

Should you jump out the window?

No. You're too high up.

"Can't you take a hint?" You stood, your chair dragging against the floor as you did.

Why couldn't you be the vampire?! He was blocking your one and only exit, and you couldn't even jump out the window!

"I think I was too harsh that day." He began walking towards you, and you cursed yourself for getting excited at this.

Despite your attitude, you really wanted him to be sorry. You wanted more than for him to apologize, you wanted him to realize he liked you. No matter how unrealistic your fantasy was, you so desperately wanted it to be true.

"You think??"

You started backing up, and he began to inch near you, grabbing your wrist before you could even genuinely consider jumping.

"You're not really going to jump out of the window because of me, are you?"

"Yes, I am." You pettily turned your head to the side.

Damn, you really hated him that much?

"C'mon, Y/n. Don't be so dramatic."

"Dramatic!?"

All the feelings previously were coming back and you just wanted to cry.

"You're a real asshole, you know that."

That's when he leaned forward, engulfing you within his arms.

You were going to faint.

He really wasn't trying to be a piece of shit. He was just not good with expressing himself.

It's not like he was trying to be insensitive, but he had hoped if you were going to jump out the window, it wouldn't be out of spite. Not that he wanted you to jump out the window. Fuck! See? He can't even express himself in his head, how could he to you?

"I'm truly sorry, Y/n. I regretted what I said as soon as I saw the look in your eyes. You know what they say, you don't truly realize what you've lost until it's gone. It seems I underestimated your importance to me. I was annoyed by my good for nothing brother that day, and I took it out on you. I dearly regret it, too. Please, forgive me."

Now this, this was unexpected.

"I-..." You really didn't want to be that person. You didn't want to forgive him that easily. You still remember the pain, your chest tightening. It felt like your heart was constricting.

You pushed his arms off and jumped away, looking back at him, his red eyes meeting yours.

His mouth fell open, the most emotion you'd ever seen him display to anyone.

"What did you expect? Did you think you could just come here, sweep me off my feet, give me some lame ass excuse for treating me terribly, as if you were ever nice to me, and expect me to forgive you? I'm just some bothersome woman who's feelings you don't know why you're sparing. I'm not going to be some product of your pity. You very obviously didn't want me not even a week ago, why the sudden change of heart? Just leave me alone. You know better than anyone how annoying it is to have someone continuously pester you after you've so obviously shown your distaste for their presence."

Your stomach hurt, your eyes burned, and your throat throbbed. The worst part was the way everything in you was screaming to forgive him, but being the stubborn person you were, you couldn't.

"You don't truly mean that, do you?" He took a step forward, eyes locked on yours.

Tears welled in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall, refused to say anything.

Each step he took forward, you took back until you were sandwiched between the wall and the person you least, yet most, wanted to be in this situation with.

He slammed his hand on the wall beside you, preventing your exit. "I suggest you calm yourself, Y/n. If your heart rate quickens at this rate, you may... well you get what I'm saying."

You let out a small squeak, more in fear than anything else. "Mind your ears, it's none of your bus-siness. Also, m-move your arm so I can leave." Fuck. Why are you stuttering Y/n!?

He leaned down, his hot breathe on your ear. "I can help you calm your nerves-" His right hand moved to rest on the small of your back. "If you would like."

You shuddered.

"But you have to ask." He smirked.

"H-Huh?..."

"Hah. You're so quick to forgive me now, even though I knew you were dying to earlier. What? You just want me for my body?" He teased, his mouth falling upon your neck, marking it.

"I- No! I h-haven't even forgiven you yet!" You protested.

"You haven't? Well then I should stop." He pulled away from you, turning to walk away.

It was now or never Y/n.

"W-wait a minute!" You called out, reaching out to him.

He turned to you, hiding his smirk as he did.

"Why, what is it?" He chuckled under his breath.

"Y-I I forgive you," You looked down at the floor, the tiles glowing with the reflection of the moon, nearly full, though not quite.

"You do? Thank you." He then turned again, beginning to walk away once more.

"Wait. Where are you going?" You called out.

"To class, where else?"

You blinked once. Then twice.

Did you read the situation wrong?

No way, what else was he trying to do?

"W-what about..? I..."

He smirked at you.

"Y/n, while I may be a vampire, I cannot read minds."

"Well... it's just... earlier you..." Your face lit ablaze, heat spreading across your cheeks.

"Earlier I?... He took a step towards you.

"You- you know..." You trailed off, hoping he'd get what you were trying to say.

"I seem to have forgotten, please, enlighten me."

"Well... y-you said you would help me calm my nerves..."

"Mhm..?"

"Might you... try to once more..?"

He let out a dry chuckle at this. You were so shy.

He caged you onto the wall once more, his breath on your ear once more.

"How do you suppose I do that?"

His hand was back on your waist, but this time he slid it underneath the fabric of your shirt. He licked at the shell of your ear, causing a surprised sound to leave your throat.

"Well... Like this, I would think."

He looked up at you, red eyes upon your e/c ones. Then, he pulled away once more, a smirk adorning his features.

"I don't really know what you mean by, 'this.'"

Grabbing his hand, you pulled him towards you.

You grabbed his tie, pulling him down to you, "You're teasing..."

He chuckled.

"If you'd answer me, mayb-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, your lips were on his.

Though he had nothing to compare it to, he was pretty sure you were a terrible kisser.

He could teach you, though.

"Mmm.."

Pulling away, he leaned in, whispering in your ear, "Quite sloppy, even for your first time."

Your face flushed.

"As if you could do any better."

He smirked, leaning in, his lips ghosting over yours.

"I think I can prove you wrong"

His glasses knocked against your face, causing it to scrunch when he leaned in.

You both laughed for a second, before your lips met once more.

With Reiji leading the kiss, it was 10x better. He seemed so skilled, and you couldn't help but wonder if he was actually experienced or just good at everything.

"So pretty."

He pulled away, beginning to trail kisses down your neck.

His hand trailed beneath your shirt, groping you beneath it.

You gasped, your hands curling in fists at your sides.

Were you seriously about to do this in an empty classroom at school? What if somebody walks in..?

Reiji let out a dry chuckle, his forehead meeting yours.

(FOREHEAD TOUCHES R SO INTIMATE I MIGHT CRIE)

"Nervous, yes? I won't do anything you don't want me to. Except bite you, of course." He added playfully.

(IDC WHAT U SAY IT'S CANON FOR REIJI TO BE SARCASTIC AND MAKE BAD JOKES.)

You reached your hand into the nape of his neck, grasping his hair there.

He groaned when you did this, which was definitely not your intention, but also definitely hot.

"You're not doing anything I don't want. It's just..." You glanced at the door.

"Oh? You want to be watched, don't you?" He smirked.

"I- No! Definitely not! W-Why would I-" He was teasing you again, wasn't he?

His lips met yours again, his cold hands meeting the skin beneath your shirt. He helped you out of it before removing your bra to stare down at your breasts.

Before you could cover them, his hands were on them, squeezing and pinching.

Your hand fell upon his wrists, tightly gripping them.

"R-Reiji-san," Your face felt hot, you felt hot in general. You rubbed your legs together ever so slightly in hopes he wouldn't notice.

You couldn't help yourself.

"Impatient, aren't we?" He chuckled before shoving his knee in between your legs.

"I tend to you so patiently with no worry of myself, yet you're ungrateful. That's fine. I'll just tend to one of my needs to make up for it."

"Eh!? I- No- I'm not- Ouch!"

Large gulps were taken from your neck, your knees slightly weakening. You honestly expected him to bite you, so you weren't quite mad. Just surprised.

Your hands fell from his wrists, one reaching into his hair, a strong hold placed there, and the other clenching into a fist at your side.

Pulling away, he smirked down at you.

"My my, how erotic."

The sight was quite pleasing to his eyes at least, your neck dripping blood down your shirtless torso.

He was really having the most difficult time holding himself back.

He sighed, reaching behind himself for a chair and pulling it forward. He sat down, reaching his arms behind your back and pulling you onto his lap.

"W-wait! Reiji-san! I'm too heav-" You choked on your words at the sight of his erection straining against his pants.

Reiji reached his hand into your hair, grabbing a handful at your scalp and puling your head back.

He began kissing and (softly) biting your neck, marking it as much as much as he could and licking up the blood dripping from your wound.

You let out a little gasp, grinding down onto his growing erection.

He sighed, releasing his grip on your scalp.

Sliding his hand beneath the edge of your panties, Reiji helped you remove them leaving you in just your skirt.

The fact that he hadn't removed any clothing made you feel even more exposed.

He grinned and ran his hand up your slit, teasing you.

He shoved two fingers against your entrance, his fingers disappearing within you.

"Ah... Reiji.." You gripped onto his shoulder harshly.

"Beautiful.." He sighed and began thrusting his fingers, your liquids dripping down his hand.

You clenched down on his fingers.

"Mmm... I don't think I can hold back anymore.."

His fingers pulled back, a lewd sound emitting from your heat.

He groaned at this, unfastening his belt and unzipping his pants.

He lined himself up with your entrance, an arm wrapped around your back, reaching around to the other side to grip your waist.

Pushing inside you, he let out a huff of air.

"Fffuck, don't clench so hard." He breathed out, his hand squeezing your waist tightly.

You clenched harder at the sound of his voice causing his grip on you to tighten, definitely leaving bruises.

"I-I-I can't. Not when you sound like th-at!" You squeaked out, falling against his chest to bury your face into the space between his shoulder and neck.

He smirked at this, thrusting up into you harshly.

"Oh~? You like it when I talk to you?"

Reiji held onto your hips, directing your movements. He had more length than girth, but still managed to stuff you full.

He leaned into your ear, "You like being fucked in the classroom, huh? Like that anyone can walk it at any moment? You want them to, don't you?" Reiji watched his cock as it disappeared within your cunt, pulling out all the way, only to be slammed back in.

You shook your head, tears wetting his neck at the intensity as you clenched and unclenched on him.

He chuckled, "Look at you, getting excited just at the thought."

You wanted to deny it because, really, you didn't want to be watched, but all you could do was let out muffled moans into his neck.

Grasping onto your hair, Reiji pulled your head away from his neck, your neck bared to him and moans unmuffled.

"Fuck, look at you. Such a whore for my cock. Bet you've been daydreaming about this, huh? Been thinking about this everyday? Trying to seduce me by throwing yourself at me?"

His thrusts increased in speed as he leaned forward to lick up your neck to your mouth, which he sloppily kissed.

His hand dropped from your hair to your heat, his thumb and index finger pinching at your most sensitive spot, causing lewd moans to leave your throat, increasing in pitch.

He lifted you up, laying you back on one of the lab tables, the temperature causing goose bumps to rise on your skin.

He pushed your right leg up to your chest, relentlessly thrusting into your cunt, enjoying the squelching sounds being produced.

"Mmm, I'm gonna cum. Spill it all in your tight little cunt. Fill you up with my seed. Mark you as mine. You'd like that, wouldn't you." Reiji reached his thumb down to your small bud once more, rubbing in slow, tight circles.

Your breathing became unsteady, arms curling around his back to pull him close to you and moans growing louder once more.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm gonna cum!" Tears welled in your eyes, you back arching off the table and your toes curling.

Your cunt spasmed on his cock, your vision going dark for a second as the most intense orgasm you had ever experienced racked through your body.

Reiji let out a groan before spilling his load inside you, riding out your orgasms.

Your arms fell limp to your side, exhausted.

"I must say Y/n, you're far more risky than I had expected." He let out a little huff, helping you sit up on the desk.

He fixed his pants before helping you get dressed.

Reiji grabbed your hand, and in the blink of an eye, you guys were in his room.

"H-huh..?" Could they teleport or something? And why his room? Didn't he just pity fuck you or something?

"Uhm... should I... leave?" You stared down at his feet as you questioned him knowing the answer was probably rejection.

"Well... If you'd like. I don't want to force you or anything. Though, I was sort of hoping you would stay."

"St-stay...?"

This was requested on my Wattpad.

[rowyn-writes]

Mending A Broken Heart (Jared x Reader)

Warnings: SMUT, breeding kink, unprotected sex, (wrap it before you tap it, kids,) oral sex, female receiving, slight praise kink, angst, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of non-con, mentions of cheating, reader has PCOS, fluff, strong language.

Pairings: Jared x Reader

Characters: Jared, Jensen, Danneel, JJ Ackles, Misha (mentioned only)

Word count: 3.7k

Summary: You get a call from you older sister, Danneel, saying that she is in labor. When you arrive, your first niece is being born. You call your soon to be husband to inform him of JJ's birth, only to have a woman answer his phone.

You were on a mission.

You walked with purpose through the hallways of the hospital, not even stopping when a nurse asked if you needed help. You were Y/N Graul. You didn't need help to find your sisters freaking room.

"Ackles." You said, approaching two men. "Padalecki. How's my sister?" Just as the words left your mouth, you heard an ear piercing scream. "That answers that question." You pushed past them and into Danneel's delivery room.

"Ma'am, you can't be in here!" The doctor ordered.

"She's my sister." Danneel waved her off. "She can be here." The mother to be let out another groan of pain. You grabbed her hand, letting Danneel use it to relieve some of her pain. You winced slightly. Your sister had a strong grip.

You didn't understand how women could all over the world could go through this pain. Especially those without epidurals. 

"I want Jensen!" She cried.

You nodded, quickly making your way out into the hall. "Ackles! Get your ass in here!" Jensen gave Jared a scared look before following you inside.

"I'm here, sweetheart." He assured her as he took your place. You hid your smile at brother-in-law's kindness. You and Jensen never got along, mostly because you were so alike. You were both hard headed, but you had a big heart. You'd never say, but you secretly liked him.

"C'mon, Dannie," You encouraged, coming on the other side of her. "You've got this. Push!"

Danneel yelled once more, gripping both of your hands and she tried to push. "No! No, no, no. I can't do this!" She whined.

"You can and you will!" You demanded. "You are Danneel Ackles, you are a badass, powerful woman and you will be a great mother! All you have to do is push!"

"Easier said that done!" Danneel barked, her  auburn hair sticking to her forehead with sweat.

"We're almost there, Mrs. Ackles! One more push!" And with one last scream, and one last push, Danneel fell back on the bed, panting heavily. There was a small cry that pierced through the room, which caused the three adults to look over at the doctor.

"Congratulations," She smiled softly. "You just gave birth to a healthy baby girl."

Danneel and Jensen shared wide smiles as their newborn baby girl was set into their arms. "She's beautiful." Jensen whispered. "She has your eyes."

"She has your nose." Danneel looked over at you, her eyes filled with joy. "Y/N, can you give us a minute?"

"Of course, Dannie." You kissed her forehead. "I'm so happy for you."

You exited the room, only to find Jared pacing back and forth. "How are they? Danneel stopped screaming. Is she okay?" He asked, worry written across his face.

"They're okay. Better than okay, actually. Danneel just became a mother to a beautiful baby girl." You beamed proudly.

Jared let out a relieved laugh as he surged forward to hug you. You stood stiffly in his hold, unsure of what to do. You weren't used to physical affection, as your boyfriend rarely held you anymore. The last time you had been this close to Jared was at Jensen and Danneel's wedding when you both walked down the aisle together.

You slowly wrapped your arms around him, patting his back awkwardly. "Sorry," He apologized sheepishly. "I'm a hugger."

"So I've noticed." You said, stepping away. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some exciting news to share with my family."

You found an empty hallway and began to call every family member you could think of. Gino was first, obviously. You knew how excited he was when he found out Danneel was pregnant. Your parents were next, and then your cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.

You cringed as you looked at the last name on your contacts. Will.

You hadn't been on very good terms as of late. The two of you had been fighting constantly, especially after you found out Danneel was pregnant. You were beyond happy for her and Jensen; they were finally starting the family they had always dreamed about.

Fuck it. You might as well get it over with. It rang three times before it was finally answered. "Hello?" An unfamiliar female voice said.

"Uh, who is this?" You questioned, starting to get defensive. It was four o'clock in the morning in Vermont.

"Lacy," She answered simply.

"And what are you doing with my fiance's phone, Lacy?"

"Who is it, babe?" You heard Will in the background.

"It's your fiance, William. The one that I didn't know you had!" Lacy screamed. "You asshole! I can't believe you cheated! And I can't believe you dragged me into it! We're done!" You felt your throat close up, your eyes began to well up with tears.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. You kept repeating to yourself. This was the happiest day of Jensen and Danneel's life, you couldn't bring them down.

"Y/N, baby, this really isn't what it sounds like." Will claimed after Lacy threw his phone at him. 

"No, Will, I think it's exactly what it sounds like." You whispered harshly. "You cheated. After three years, you cheated on me."

"Well you didn't give me much of a choice, did you?" He growled.

"Excuse me?"

"You haven't let me touch you in almost eight months. What else was I supposed to do? I have needs, Y/N."

"You know why we haven't done anything!" You hissed, tears running down your face. "You know exactly why!"

"Can't you just get over it! God, Y/N, we could always try again!" He yelled.

"Get over it? Get over it?! I lost my baby and you just want me to get over it! I can't just forget about it, Will. I should be having  my baby - our baby - in five weeks. July ninth."

"You know what I mean, Y/N. Of course I don't want you to forget about the baby, but we could always try again! It wasn't the end of the world!"

"Yes, it was, Will! You know how hard it is for me to get pregnant ever since I was diagnosed with PCOS-"

"It always comes back to that! 'Sorry, I can't have sex with you today because I feel bloated,' or 'Sorry I'm acting so down, my depression is bad today.' You use PCOS as an excuse to everything!"

You stayed silent for a moment, trying to calm yourself. "It was never going to work, was it?" You said quietly. "We both want kids, but I can't give you that. I can't give you a lot of things, apparently. When I come back, I want you out of my house. I'm going to be staying with Danneel and Jensen for a while. They're going to need some help with the new baby. It's a girl, just in case you were wondering." You hung up the phone, taking in a shaky breath.

"Son of a bitch!" You wailed as you threw your phone against the wall. You slowly slid to the floor, putting your head in your hands. You tried to quiet your sobs by biting your lip, which only caused your mouth to be filled with a metallic liquid.

Get it together, Y/N. You wiped the tears off your face, trying to calm yourself down. You couldn't believe this was happening. Your sister, your best friend, just gave birth to a healthy daughter. You should be celebrating, not crying over your crappy fiance. Ex fiance. 

You picked yourself off the floor, grabbing your phone as you did so. Of course it was shattered. You quickly went to the bathroom, your puffy face startling you. You splashed cold water on your face, which got rid of it for the most part.

You made your way back to Danneel's room, where the atmosphere was happy and joyful. Something that made your mood lighten just a fraction. "Hey Mama! How are you?"

"Doped up on pain meds," She grinned. "Having a baby really hurts. I knew it would hurt, I mean, I've seen the videos, but damn, that was awful." You laughed as you brushed her hair back.

"What's her name?"

"Justice Jay Ackles." Jensen answered, bringing your niece forward. "JJ for short. Do you want to hold her?"

You nodded eagerly as JJ was set into your arms. She began to fuss a little, reaching out for her father. "Shh, shh." You cooed. "It's okay, sweet JJ. I'm your Auntie Y/N/N. You'll get to meet the others soon enough. They're going to love you, just like your mommy and daddy love you. You are going to have a whole village looking after you, did you know that? Yeah, you have me, your uncle Gino, that's mommy's brother. Then you have your uncle Josh and Aunt Mack, that's your daddy's siblings. Then of course you have Uncle Jared and Misha. Those are daddy's best friends."

Jared and Jensen smiled at you. You were already so in love with JJ. "Danneel's knocked out." Jensen whispered. "The nurse wants to take JJ up to the nursery while she sleeps." You nodded as you handed over the baby. "Alright, I'm gonna go get us some food. You guys want anything?"

"No, I'm good." You shook your head.

"Same." Jared agreed.

And with that, Jensen left you and Jared alone with a sleeping Danneel. You grabbed your phone out of your back pocket and tried to turn it on. Just your luck, the screen stayed black. That's what you get for throwing your phone at the wall.

"What in the hell happened to your phone, Y/N?" Jared questioned.

"It fell out of my pocket." You lied. "I guess I'll have to buy and new one."

"Damn, that sucks." He frowned. You gave a small shrug, not saying much of anything. "Are you okay, Y/N? You don't seem like yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, normally you like to take jabs at me and Jensen. Hell, the only one you really like is Misha. Plus, ever since you came back in the room, you've been frowning and your eyes are still puffy from where I know you've been crying." You felt your heart sink to your stomach. "I know you don't like me very much, or Jensen, for that matter, but we do care. What's wrong?"

You stayed silent for a moment, trying to sort out your words. "I can't say it here. Follow me."

You grabbed Jared by the hand and led him to where the nursery is. You needed something happy to cheer you up.

"Let me start this by saying that I don't hate you or Jensen." You didn't take your eyes off the adorable babies, but your hand was still brushing up against his. "I have known you both for a while now, and I care about you guys. Making jabs and snarky comments is how I show that I care." You could see Jared smiling out of the corner of your eye.

"I called Will this morning to tell him that Danneel had the baby." You saw Jared's smile fade slightly. "A woman answered his phone, and usually I wouldn't think anything of it. I would make an excuse that it's his secretary or assistant, but it was four a.m in Vermont when I called. Her name was Lacy." Your voice cracked.  "And it's my fault!"

"Y/N, it's not your fault-"

"But it is, Jare," You whispered. "It is. I pushed him away for months. Do you know how long it's been? Eight months. It's been eight months, Jared. And Will 'has needs.'"

"That's the dumbest excuse ever." He mumbled.

"This next part. . . I haven't told anyone but Will. Not Danneel, not Gino, not my parents, anyone. So you have to promise not to tell anyone. I'll tell my family once I'm ready, but for now, they don't need to know."

Jared's frown deepened. "I won't say anything, Y/N, I promise. Are you okay?"

"No," You shook your head. "I haven't been okay for a while now." You took a deep breath before continuing. "Last year I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome – PCOS for short."

"Yeah, I've heard of it." Jared said softly, his eyes filled with pity.

"Will and I had been trying so hard for a baby. And when we found out I had PCOS, we stopped. And I was heartbroken. I've wanted to start a family for so long, and to get that news hurt me. And it hurt Will." You felt your hands start to shake.

"One night after I had one too many drinks, I passed out on the couch, and I woke up the next morning in my bed with all my clothes off and Will lying in my bed beside me. I don't know what happened that night, but I know I didn't want it. And four weeks later I found out I was pregnant." Jared's jaw clenched and his eyes held something malicious.

"I didn't care how it happened. I know I should have, but I was just so excited to have a baby. To be a mother. And then when I went to my OBGYN, she told me I had. . . I had a miscarriage."

"Oh, Y/N," Jared said sadly, resting his hand on your shoulder.

"I lost my baby. And I don't know what to do with myself, Jare." You cried. "W-what am I supposed to do?"

You were shaking uncontrollably now, unable to calm down. "That m-might have been my only chance!" Jared swallowed hard as he brought you in for a hug. "I want my baby!" You wailed.

"I know," He whispered as he gripped you tight. "I know, honey. I am so sorry. This is so unfair to you. You deserve so much better than this."

"What if it was my last chance?" You sniffed.

"It wasn't," He assured you as he rocked you back and forth. "There are fertilization treatments, surrogacy, adoption. . . You'll be a mother one day, Y/N, and you'll be the best mother a child could ever ask for."

"Really?" You asked in a small voice, looking up at the tall man. He smiled as he brushed back a piece of your hair and wiped away your tears.

"Really."

You felt your heart beating out of your chest and your breaths quickening. "Jared,"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

He didn't have to be told twice as he leaned down to kiss your lips. He cupped your face with both of his hands, bringing you closer to him. "Mm," He moaned, pulling away. "Not in front of the babies. They're too young to be scarred this way." You laughed as he dragged you away to a bathroom, making sure no one was in there before locking the door.

Jared grabbed you by the waist and gently pushed you against the wall. He wasted no time as he pressed his lips against yours once more. His tongue slid across your lower lip, asking for permission to enter, which you happily granted.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer. Jared put his hand on the back of your thigh, encouraging you to jump. You got the memo as you lifted yourself up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He moved and set you down on the counter.

"Do you want to keep going?" Jared asked, breathless.

"Yes," You nodded, your face flushed. "Please, Jare." He groaned at the nickname.

"I love it when you call me that." He said as he ran kisses down your jaw and to your neck.

SMUT UNDER THE CUT

"And I. . . Love it when. . . You kiss my neck like that." You panted as you began to unbutton Jared's shirt. You ran your hands across his abs and looped your fingers around his belt buckle.

"You are far too overdressed." Jared complained as he tugged at the hem of your shirt.

"Why don't you fix that for me?" You smirked. There was a mischievous sparkle in his eyes as he pulled your shirt off your body.

You covered your stomach as you suddenly felt shy when Jared's eyes raked over your body. He frowned as he pulled your arms away. "Why are you hiding from me?"

"I- I dunno. It's just. . . All the girls you've been with in the past like Gen and Sandra are so beautiful and I look nothing like them -"

"Let me stop you right there," Jared said sternly. "You are gorgeous and incredibly sexy. Don't you dare compare yourself to them, because they could never be as beautiful as you. Don't let any asshole tell you otherwise. Do you understand?" You nodded slowly, fighting off the smile that crept onto your face. "Good, now let's pick up where we left off, shall we?"

Jared pulled down your jeans and tossed them aside, along with your panties. He looked at you like he hadn't eaten in days and you were a four course meal.

He began to trail kisses up your thighs, getting so close to where you wanted him to be only for him to pull away. "Quite being such a tease!" You growled.

Jared have you a smirk. "Yes ma'am." And with that he pulled you forward slightly so you were sitting on the edge of the counter. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before a wave of euphoria hit as you felt Jared's tongue on your clit.

"Oh-" You moaned, only for Jared to cover your mouth with his hand.

"Shh, you wouldn't want anyone to hear, would you?" He questioned. You shook your head, desperate for him to return to where he was. "Be a good girl for me and stay quiet." His kissed you on the mouth before going back to eating you out. You bit your lip in attempts to silence your moans.

"Fuck," You whispered as you leaned your head back. Jared began to tease your hole with his tongue, making you gasp and grab onto his long locks.

You felt warmth spread through your stomach and a familiar coil began to tighten. "Oh, god, Jare, please keep going!" You encouraged him. "I'm so close."

At those words, Jared pulled away abruptly, making you want to cry out. "Sorry babygirl, you can only come when I say you can."

You frowned at his words. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you enjoy it." He winked. Jared began to unbuckle his belt; you could see his growing erection through his jeans. "I don't have a condom." He said defeated. "Are you clean?"

You nodded. "What about you?"

"Yeah, I'm all good." He assured you.

"Then we should be fine, it's not like I can get pregnant anyways."

"You never know." Jared said as he nipped at your neck. As he left love bites on your neck, you began to pull down his jeans, revealing his hardon. You pushed yourself off the counter and got on your knees, only for Jared to pull you back up.

"Not this time, kitten. This is about you, not me."

"But I want to make you feel good." You protested.

"Next time, baby." You smiled at the thought of a next time. He quickly turned you around so you were bent over the counter. "You're so wet." He growled as he grinded against you. "All this for me?"

"Yes, Jare. Only for you." You panted, desperate for his cock.

"Good," He murmured against your neck. "I've been waiting a while for this to happen, there is no way I'm letting it go to waste. Do you still want this?" He questioned, wanting to make sure you were still comfortable with it.

"If you stopped now I might have to kill you." Jared slowly pushed into you, as he didn't want to hurt you. You gasped in surprise; you had never been with someone as big as him. He gave you time to adjust to his size. "Move." You pleaded.

Jared chuckled as he slowly began to thrust into you. He grunted at the feeling of your warmth. "Fuck, Y/N." He moaned. "You're so fucking tight."

He began to pick up speed, which earned a moan from you. Jared put his hand over your mouth to silence your sounds, but you could still hear you skin slapping together.

"Oh, fuck." He growled. "I'm gonna cum. Gonna fill you with my seed, make you all round. God, you'd look so fucking sexy carrying my baby." Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at his words, causing your walls to clench around his dick. "Would you like that, huh? Being so full of my cum that it runs down you legs."

"Oh, fuck yes." You nodded. "Please, Jared, fill me with your cum. Make me carry your child." You begged.

Jared gripped your hips tightly, (definitely leaving bruises) as he rammed into you. You struggled to keep quiet, as all you wanted to do was scream from pleasure. "You're going to look so good filled with my cum." He purred.

"Let me cum with you." You whined, the coil in your stomach was ready to snap.

"I'm so close." He grunted, sweat dotting his brow. "Cum with me, babygirl. Cum." He demanded.

You shuttered as your coil finally snapped and you rode out your orgasm on Jared's dick. He followed soon after you, blowing his load into your womb.

"Holy shit," You muttered. "That was so fucking hot."

"You're telling me." Jared said as he slowly pulled out, making you feel empty. You began to clean yourself up and put your clothes back on.

You both looked a mess; swollen lips, messy hair and to top it all of, hickeys scattered your neck. You reached up on your tip toes to flatten Jared's hair. "At least our hair covers the bruises." You grinned.

"So, what happens next?" Jared questioned.

"I guess that's up to you." You shrugged. "We can either go on a date and see how this plays out, or we can forget this ever happened."

"I don't want to forget." He shook his head. "I don't think I could forget."

"Good," You smiled. "I was hoping you would say that." Jared grinned as he leaned down to kiss you once more.

"I have a really good feeling about this."

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 60 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

Welp this is it… DAMNNNNNN the last two seasons each had a lesson near the beginning of the season dedicated just to a date with Mammon and I’m praying S4 has one as well and though it sucks Mammon & MC’s hellos and goodbyes are always really sweet and ahhh how am I already missing them. I’m desperate for S4 and I haven’t even finished S3 yet… fuck okay. 

Post Lesson 60 edit: The last chapter goodbyes are gonna be direct quotes cause I’m an emotional mess. 

As MC is about to head outside Mammon calls out to them and tells them to bring him a cake on the way home, they ask him why he’s been so cold and distant with them lately and he frowns at them and says he doesn’t know what they’re talking about and tells them not to forget the cake and then he leaves. Asmo who had being eavesdropping laughs and says that even for Mammon that was oddly bossy and arrogant. He then asks if he can tag along with them partway cause he’s heading to the spa. As they walk past the lake Asmo tells MC not to hold Mammon’s recent attitude against him and that he’s so upset about having to leave MC again that he doesn’t know what to do with himself and since rn all he can think about is MC he’s not sure how to act around them. Asmo says Mammon’s spending too much time dwelling on this. He looks disappointed and shakes his head when he asks himself what he’s gonna do about Mammon and that he’s being a child. (IS2G Asmo is the number #1 Mammon x MC shipper???????? Relatable) MC asks him if he hasn’t been dwelling on leaving. He asks if they wish he was and says they’re always on his mind and that’s why he doesn’t seem any different now. He says the actual reason he’s still so himself and not outwardly upset is cause he has faith (HA!) that they’ll end back together again like all the previous times they had to separate. He says he’s still sad about having to say goodbye but all that makes him want to do is treasure the moments they have rn. They can hold his hand, kiss him or say that’s a really Asmo thing if him to say. He smiles and says positivity is one of his charms (Asmo ily but weren’t you the one who got drunk and cried and needed to have Satan carry you back home the first time MC left…) They eventually part ways. I’m guessing the order of the rest of the ‘goodbyes’ is gonna be Satan, Mammon and then Lucifer cause those two always end up last in that order…

EYYYYY! They run into satan and ask where he’s off to. He says he’s off to the bookstore to stock on some human books before they head home and asks MC if they want to tag along. He hands them a list and tells them to start looking from the top and that he’ll start from the bottom. He says thwy can use magic as long as no human sees them (ME: thinking back to that one human MC, Belphie and Diavolo scared the shit out of…Hmmmm). They agree and he says that knowing they studied under Solomon makes him feel safe to trust that they know what they’re doing. He says he always knows he can count on them when he needs them and that being in the Devildom without them will be troublesome (I said in the fairy dust/angel lesson that Satan & MC are incredibly similar and that their friendship is highly underrated and I still stand by that.) MC uses magic to lift a book from a high shelf and Satan warns them that someone’s coming making them loose their concentration and the book to come falling down, Satan shields them though and gets hit with it instead. They each ask if the other is alright and he says they need to be more careful that no one sees them (ME: INTENSELY THINKING BACK TO THAT TIME WITH DIAVOLO AND BELPHIE WHEN MC WAS WILLING TO BARBEQUE A MAN FOR FIRING A GUN AT BELPHIE) He blushes and tells them he’ll show what he means and he takes them behind a bookshelf where no one can see and wraps his arms around them and pulls them close (Satan what kinda romance novel pickup line was that??? Also all I can imagine is that SNL bookstore skit with John Cena & Aidy Bryant). MC can kiss him, wrap their arms around him or just thank him for shielding them earlier. He says there’s no need to thank him and that he’s just happy they’re not hurt, He then laughs softly and asks if they’ll be okay once he’s gone. They ask him in turn if he’ll be okay. He blushes and says he won’t and that just thinking about life without them was enough to drive him mad.

At dinner levi asks if everyone is there and Beel looks sad and says Mammon isn’t, Belphie sighs and says he always has to make things difficult. Levi says it’s okay and he gets it and that Mammon obviously thinks dinner’s gonna suck since Levi made it and holy shit can we pls take Levi to a therapist pls? Belphie says Levi’s beating himself up for no reason and Levi goes on a rant about how he’s an ultra-negative, depressing otaku and how no one likes being around him ajndsvddjsnk LEVI pls!!? (unrelated but Levi’s actually my third favourite) Belphie asks MC to go get Mammon and Beel tells them to hurry. They knock and enter his room. They ask him what he’s doing and he says he was just watching a shark movie Satan gave him. He asks if they’re here to tell him about dinner and that they should head back and eat and not to worry about him. He looks upset and says he’s not in the mood to eat. They say they’re really gonna miss him and he’s eyes widen for a sec before he looks away and asks if they’re some sorta kid. He then laughs though and says they’re not the only one who feels that way. He blushes and says of course he’s gonna miss them too and that they already knew that. He asks if there isn’t some other way for them to stay together forever. He says that being a sorcerer they have to make something happen. They can say a.) that despite being a sorcerer they’re still pretty green and he laughs and says the one time he needs them they’re no use at all. He blushes and tells them to hurry up and ‘ripen’ and that a green sorcerer won’t cut it. B.) being a demon he should make something happen. He says if there was something he could do he woulda done it a long time ago. Looking aside again he says hanging out with them and talking about dumb stuff is something he takes for granted and he just realized he won’t be able to do it again anytime soon, he says that once he’s back in the devildom life would be dull and that once he used to be happy as long as he had money but after they met that was ruined. And now during his free time he thinks about them and feels all worried and unsettled. He blushes and asks them to stay with him and keep him company since all this is their fault. Belphie texts them asking where the fuck they are they say they’ll have dinner with Mammon later, he then wishes them luck with Mammon.

In the music room Levi’s bemoaning how he understands that any coffee he makes won’t be good enough while a wide eyed Asmo asks him what he’s talking about cause as you can see Asmo is drinking his coffee, Levi says he never admitted it was good though. Asmo smiles and reassures him that it’s actually good and asks Belphie to back him up. Belphie says he wants no part of any of this which immediately crumbles all of Asmo’s hard work and makes Levi depressed. Lucifer pops his head in and once he spots MC asks them to come to his room. They ask what he wants to talk about, he says he’ll tell them when he gets there. To the room as a whole he says that Diavolo wants them all at the hotel the next day. This surprises both Mammon & Beel, and Satan asks if there’s another problem at the hotel, making everyone turn and eye Levi who turns red and protests. In his room Lucifer asks if MC knows why he called them and they say nope. He asks if they really don’t know or if they’re just playing dumb. When they don’t answer he says it’s about why Diavolo called them to the hotel. He says Diavolo hasn’t told him the reason behind it and asks if MC knows, saying that for Diavolo not to tell him it has to be either something that’ll supremely piss off Lucifer or something that Diavolo finds fun and exciting that Lucifer won’t like but will have to endure. They say they don’t know anything about it. He says, “what do you think you can lie to me? Have you forgotten who the fuck I am exactly!?” When they still remain silent he drops the blank faced glare and laughs saying he can take a guess at what’s going on considering they’re not willing to share. He says considering this is them they’re probably gonna do something nice for them and he tells them they’re really sweet, they tell him not to stop and to keep stroking their ego (or they can ask for a reward). He says he may considering how things go tomorrow. He then pauses and says he’s actually in the mood to indulge them today so he’ll sing their praises just for today. (They can ask if he’s sad about saying goodbye, he says yes and then blushes and says obviously that means they’re spending the night in his room – I noped out at this point. Is it weird that Lucifer’s the only brother I can’t see MC platonically sharing a bed with?) They then tease him saying this is very unlike him. He blushes and agrees, saying that when he’s with them he doesn’t have to be the avatar of pride but that’s okay because they love all the different sides of him (I thought this was really sweet, Lucifer needs to know that there’s someone who loves him as a whole even the parts of him that are massive jerks and I love that this interaction can be read as either romantic or platonic. He smiles and says he’s looking forward for tomorrow.  

The brothers are all surprised when from the hotel they are taken to the currently most popular club in the human world that has been reserved all for them, with Simeon making all the food and Luke making cakes. Luke tries his best to protect the food from Beel while Satan and Mammon say how surprise they were by Barbatos’s magic making them walk out into the club after walking into the hotel. MC asks if they like it and Lucifer says of course they do and thanks them for doing this. Solomon says he has a present for all of them too, Levi worries that he cooked for them (though he asks it with the sweetest smile cause all these demons are still hanging on to not letting Solomon know his food is toxic waste in case it hurts his feelings) and Lucifer whispers to MC that if so they might all die here. Solomon says he had offered to help cook but Simeon had insisted he had it all handled (he looks awfully disappointed when saying this). Mammon cheers on Simeon and Belphie says “…yeah I never thought I’d owe my life to Simeon but here we are” Their real present is Solomon lighting up the room with what, according to Belphie, looks like a fallen star. Asmo gushes about how beautiful it is.  Beel asks if he can eat it. Levi laughs and tells him he better not. Diavolo says they should officially start the party and everyone cheers. In a side lounge area Simeon says seeing the brothers enjoying the party so much makes all the effort feel worth it, Barbatos says he’s just happy seeing Diavolo having so much fun and he thanks MC. They say they could never have done it without their help in the first place. Simeon says it was MC to got them all working together to make this happen in the first place. Levi then arrives to come drag MC towards the karaoke (which Diavolo insisted they have – poor man’s still trying to sing a duet with Lucifer I see)

Satan and Asmo complain about Levi hogging the mic and singing anime songs, he yells at them for not understanding the raw passion and energy of anime songs (which isn’t that true? Anime songs have a unique kinda passion that makes you hyped that I’ve never being able to find in other songs..). Levi tells MC to forget about them and MC asks to sing a duet. Levi says he’ll queue up a bunch of duets and Mammon yells at Levi for hogging the mic and using this as an opportunity to hit on MC. Levi laughs and says that he’s not swooping in and doing anything the way Mammon said and that MC wants to sing with him. Mammon then blushes and demands to sing the next duet with them from MC. Asmo then calls the one after that and Mammon asks Beel & Belphie what they’re doing. They’re mixing drinks. MC says there new drink (demonous with scorpion powder and something else) sounds really good (cause they’re a freak like that) Belphie says the flavours do seem to go surprisingly well together and he asks Mammon to try some. He protests saying they just want to use him as a guinea pig. Lucifer’s drawn to the commotion and says they all seem to be fun, Levi asks if he wants to sing next and he says later, he then thanks MC for planning a fun surprise for them and that they were able to create some nice final memories in the human world before heading home. MC says they’ll share more great times together and Lucifer laughs and agrees saying this won’t be the last time they’re all together and this is just one of many happy memories they’ll share in the future. When they go back to the lounge area Solomon says they could hear them all talking, singing and laughing all the way from over here despite the music, emphasizing that they could hear Levi the most. Diavolo asks them to come sit and pours them another drink and says they were all talking about them and how they helped them enjoy their time in the human realm. He thanks them from the bottom of his heart. Solomon says last time they were all together in the Devildom and this time it was in the human realm and asks where they should be together next. Luke is surprised he’s already thinking about the next time. He laughs and says it’s cause he can barely wait for the next time they are all together. MC can suggest one of the three worlds. (personally I chose the Devildom cause the brothers aren’t allowed in the Celestial Realm and as much as I am completely in love with Mammon’s human world look I miss the aesthetic of the Devildom.) Diavolo laughs and says he’s happy they’ve taken such a liking to the Devildom and that he’d love for them to come back and that the brothers will be thrilled too. From the distance and getting closer they hear Lucifer telling his brothers to quit pushing him. Mammon tells him to just hurry up and go inside. Levi says Lucifer has to be with them or they won’t be taken seriously. Lucifer groans and asks if they’re actually planning on saying “this to him”. “Of course.” Says Satan. Belphie says it’s at least worth asking. Asmo agrees saying anything’s possible if you put your mind to it. They all tumble into the lounge area and Solomon asks what brings them all here. Lucifer looking tired says that his brothers have something to ask Diavolo. Mammon tells Lucifer not to act as if he isn’t part of this and as if it hasn’t been on his mind too. Diavolo chuckles and asks what they want to ask. Beel says they’ve all been thinking about something for a while now and they want to discuss it with him. The brothers all together yell: “We want MC to join the family!” GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!? Not me softly sobbing at the image this makes in my head ahhhhhhh!??????? AHHHHHH!?????????? MC’s shocked and speechless. Asjvfkjffvuiefhi pls don’t give me hope like this wtf and what do they mean by join the family cause I don’t mind Lucifer more or less adopting them, and like Beel said they already seem to be a part of the family but MC brought up proposals with A LOT of the brothers so is that what they mean? Like marriage??? But they’re all asking and other than Beel & Belphie wanting to share with each other and Asmo being open to threesomes none of them want to share MC so……. Also I do not see my OM! MC getting married at all but at the same time if it was to squirrel their way into a permanent position in the family then…

Diavolo’s wide-eyed and stunned silent, and then he asks “…huh!?” Solomon bursts out laughing. Luke is red faced and tells Solomon this is no time to laugh. Solomon still laughing chokes out that he’s never seen Diavolo so stunned. Luke pauses and then asks what exactly they mean by ‘join the family’ and then he turns red and demands if they mean marrying MC. The brothers obviously haven’t really thought about what ‘join the family’ means and only now realise it can imply marriage. Asmo immediately volunteers. Mammon red faced protests to MC marrying Asmo and then stuttering says that if they’re gonna marry anyone they should marry him (he screams the last part out after struggling through the first part). Levi gets pissed saying if MC marries a scumbag like Mammon they’d have a dark, terrible future (watch me put together a 200 slide presentation refuting this) Belphie tells Asmo and Mammon to back off before they mess things up. Lucifer, looking dead tired, says it’s already a mess. Diavolo goes, “Umm…Lucifer?” and asks him to explain what’s going on. He says the others want MC around on a permanent basis so they don’t have to say goodbye ever and they put their heads together and decided on this. “Marriage!?” goes Luke. Solomon says the demons hadn’t thought how they’d make them part of the family. Lucifer tells Satan that he can look at the others like they’re a band of idiots but to leave him outta it. Solomon asks MC what they think of all this and they say they want to be part of the family too (it’s implied through out the main storyline that generally MC’s someone who’s very calm and collected and who while being incredibly blunt doesn’t express their emotions outwardly much (at the beginning of S2 Lucifer even comments on them being more expressive than before they left) but I’d like to imagine at this moment they are wet eyed and beaming because of these loveable idiots who ARE their family even if it’s not official). Diavolo smiles and says he sees. Luke has problems with humans and demons mixing and being a family (LUKE I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS!?) “Yes, Luke. I know…” says Diavolo. His face then becomes serious and he’s silent and contemplative. Diavolo looks at MC and says that though they aren’t aware of it there’s still bad blood amongst the three worlds and that no matter how much they all want to be a family and stay together it’s not within his power to let that happen. He looks upset and apologizes. Lucifer is silent. He says though that his goal is to one day remove these barriers between the worlds and that he’ll do everything in his power to make that happen, and as the future demon king he promises that one day he’ll make it so that they can marry anyone in this room (I’m screaming just MC – queer as hell and with they/them pronouns waiting in the human world for marriage to get legalized only to fall in love with someone from another world and having to wait AGAIN for marriage to be legalized… I’d have lost my entire shit.) “WELL, isn’t that good for you, you apprentice poaching motherfuckers but guess what I’m a human meaning WE can get married in the meantime… CHECKMATE, BITCHES~” says Solomon. Mammon actually snaps at Solomon and calls him a “son of a –“ before he remembers the child in the room and trails off and snaps at him not to say stuff like that. Belphie asks if Solomon can even be classified as a human given his age. (Can MC even be classified as fully human given the whole Lilith situation? I mean ik Lilith was reincarnated as a human but she still kept and passed on her supernatural magic. Plus there’s a Belphie devilgram that takes places pre S1 that implies MC’s not fully human plus that whole thing about fairy hallucination angel!Lucifer not taking MC’s word for it when they said they were human… it’s very likely though everyone here’s too dumb to realise it). Satan says at this point Solomon might as well be a demon. Asmo tells him not to pretend to be a human when it’s convenient. He laughs and says that even though he can’t grow old or die he still belongs to the human race. Beel says that maybe but Solomon isn’t playing fair, Levi agrees and says Solomon’s also making him jealous. Diavolo says MC sure is popular seeing as they are all fighting over them. Lucifer says he knew this would happen and that’s why he didn’t want them to have this discussion. Luke’s shocked that MC’s got demons and the world’s greatest sorcerer wrapped around their finger, MC asks him if he sees them in a new light now. Luke says he thinks it’s impressive but it also creeps him out.

Back near the dance floor, Satan laughs and says Beel’s eating too much, Beel says Satan’s drinking too much, Satan who actually seems tipsy says he’s nowhere near his limit and challenges Beel to a competition to see who reaches their drink/food limit first, Beel agrees. Given how much beel can eat I can only assume this is the last we see of Satan RIP. Barbatos, looking uncharacteristically extremely worried, tells them to slow down cause neither of them know to stop. Levi, finishing up his song, calls for Luke who booked next but Mammon says Simeon went to put the “little guy” to sleep and asks Levi to come play cards instead. Lucifer, who’s playing with Mammon, asks if he hasn’t lost enough at this point, Mammon turns red and says this time he’s gonna win it all back. Asmo laughs and says Mammon just jinxed himself. Belphie asks why MC’s looking around the room so restlessly and they can say A.) I don’t see Diavolo anywhere B.) where’s Solomon? Either way the answer is he has no idea where Solomon went but he did see Diavolo head out earlier. He says the two of them are probably together talking. MC finds Diavolo and asks what he’s up to. He says he wanted a break and to gaze at the city lights and sober up a little since he won’t be able to see them again for awhile. He asks them to sit next to him and then laughs and says he could barely believe his ears after he heard what the brothers asked. He says he’s known the seven of them for a long time and knows how close they are and that it’s unbelievable that they’d want to include someone new to the family (MY HEART!? ALSO FOUND FAMILY TROPE!) He says it almost makes him jealous. They say that they know for a fact that he’s very important to the brothers too. He’s like “thanks for saying that but rn you’re either playing dumb or you actually are this dumb which makes me question my taste but then again I’m also in love with Lucifer so…” and he says he’s jealous of the brothers not them (Sure, Jan. We know you’re jealous of them both don’t lie). He says he feels the same as them and blushes and says he keeps thinking about how it could be if they were together forever (Sir, pls Lucifer is right there. He’s available. Pls.) He says if their relationship was on that level and if their bond was deep and permanent like those of a family he can’t even imagine how amazing that’d be (he keeps repeating ‘family’ and the brothers weren’t even thinking marriage when they asked for MC to be part of their family and Diavolo was really shocked and he now said specifically it was them asking about being ‘family’ before Luke even first mentioned marriage that made Diavolo jealous. What I’m saying is that considering Diavolo’s lonely, strict childhood the one thing he wants more than anything is a family not marriage specifically). He smiles and says they beat him to the punch and that he asks them to give him time cause he’s gonna do everything he can to mend the bridges between the three worlds for MC and for the brothers…and a little bit for himself. He gives them his word.

Out on the balcony Solomon greets them and asks if they shouldn’t be down with the others, they say they needed a break and wanted to talk to him, he wonders if the others would be pissed if they knew Solomon had MC all to himself. He says he figured he’d stay out of the way today and let MC and the demons spend time together considering he’ll have enough time to hang out with them later. He says he can’t believe they asked MC to join the family and that he didn’t see that coming. He starts laughing again about how serious they looked and how shocked Diavolo looked, and how Lucifer looked like he had a migraine (Ik we all say Lucifer’s the sadist but have we considered…) MC asks if he really thinks it’s that funny (and I’m pretty sure they’re offended on the brothers’ behalf and hurt cause that’s what they want too.) Solomon says for him it’s funny. He says it’s common of a demon to ask for a business arrangement or a pact but he’s never heard of them asking humans to join their family. He smiles and says he’s beginning to think he chose a “truly incredible” human as his apprentice. MC asks what the demons in his life are to him, he gives it serious thought and said these days he sees them as close friends. MC asks if things were different earlier and he says they were but also asks that they not get into things rn cause the story is long and tedious, MC asks if he’s just trying to avoid their question and if he’s gonna tell them the truth or not. He laughs and says nope and that though you can’t tell it by looking at him he’s a little too tipsy. He reminds them that they’re barely a sorcerer rn and that they should leave questions like that for later until they can use “magic like this” without an incantation. He uses magic to teleport the others on to the balcony (what a snake. Imagine instead of going to a crowd to escape a conversation you use your magic to bring the crowd to you to avoid a conversation AND to set a line for MC to reach before they can start poking at his past.) Asmo says he’s being wondering where the two of them went and how naughty it was to sneak off together, Levi complains about being cut halfway through a song, Beel asks MC to judge his eating competition with Satan and Satan says it’s actually a drinking competition. Barbatos looking deeply concerned asks if the two of them intend to empty the hotel’s pantry AND its wine cellar. He asks MC to stop them. Lucifer’s goading Mammon and kicking his ass in a card game and Mammon refuses to give up (HC that Lucifer taught Mammon to play cards up in the Celestial Realm as a way to get him to sit still and NOT set the drapes on fire). Belphie comments on the card game and the party continues. (Pretty sure Solomon saw the demons as pawns or tools to get what he wants/ for more power and that he was much more ruthless with making pacts with them than he is now when he pesters Lucifer (aka getting Asmo drunk while he was upset and making a pact) the question is why? And why did Michael basically sponsor this? We know that the Celestial Realm and Devildom had just called a truce when Michael took an interest in Solomon so could it be that he wanted someone to keep an eye on the demons and the best way to do that was to have a powerful human sorcerer make as many pacts with demons as possible. I mean Solomon made a pact with Asmo mostly because he was Lucifer’s brother and Michael still has a heavy interest in the brothers so it could be possible that he wanted Solomon to make a pact with one of them so that he could see what they were doing?)

LAST ONE GUYS! :) I’m okay really :)))))))) Outside the manor in the morning, Barbatos tells Diavolo it’s time and Diavolo looking really sad agrees. (RIGHT OFF THE BAT HUH!?) Even Solomon seems upset when he realizes it’s time and then that damn song starts playing, that ending song that always chokes me up and this time it doesn’t feel as sad as last season because honestly the “Till we meet again” party really helped while last season all the brothers tried to run away with MC and that shit HURT but it still makes me choked up FUCK I want them back so badly. Diavolo comes up to MC and says they have to return and that though they weren’t here for a long time it was really fun. “So, till we meet again, MC” he ends with. Barbatos thanks them for all they did to make their stay in the human world more comfortable. He says next time they meet he’ll prepare a special tea for them that he’s sure they’ll like. From here we’re going to direct quotes because I am EMOTIONAL:

Mammon says, while not meeting their eyes: …Listen, why’re you sittin’ around twiddling your thumbs, huh? I saw how hard you worked to become a sorcerer, so I know you got it in ya. (He blushes, still not meeting their eyes) Hurry up and learn summoning magic ASAP! You big dummy… (he finally looks up at them and smiles) And once you learn it, you’d better summon ME first! All right? You promise, right? (MC can either hug or kiss him….AND YOU GUYS MUST KNOW ME BY NOW SO MC just kisses him in front of all the brothers just like that????????? – he blushes and looks away again) Dammit, now I wanna take you back to the Devildom with me… (He meets their eyes one more time, face still red)

Levi says, blushing and looking aside: …You know that game we were playing? Final Devil Kingdom… (He looks up at them, still blushing) Well, I’ve decided not to make any more progress in it until I see you next. (He smiles brightly then) So we need to get together and play it again as soon as possible, okay? I mean, I’m dying to move on to the next dungeon… (He looks up at them with a sad expression then and they can either hug or kiss him and look I love Levi but I’ve already made my choice so MC hugs him – he blushes and gets a determined expression on his face) I’m going to be messaging you a lot, okay? So… don’t ignore my texts, or I’ll cry. (He smiles at them one more time)

Satan says, looking confident and meeting their eyes: …There are several cats who come by the manor for food each day. Make sure to take care of them for me. If you’re on the job, I feel like I can rest easy knowing they’ll be okay. (He frowns, blushes and looks away then) But keep in touch. Let me know how the cats are doing every day. Got it? Every day. (They hug him and he laughs and then says with a smile) Knowledge is power. The more you have, the better off you’ll be. So study hard, and learn to stand on your own two feet as a sorcerer as soon as you can.

Asmo says, looking really upset but making eye contact: No matter how I dress myself up or how cute I make my nails and makeup, if I can’t show it to the one I love the most, it won’t be fun at all. (He smiles then) So, I’ve decided to think about it this way… I have to strive to make myself more and more beautiful with each passing day! 🤍 (He smiles even more brightly) So that one day you’ll fall for me completely and then you’ll be all mine! How does that sound? (MC hugs him and he giggles, and says smiling) I’m going to put a little something extra on my hug! 🤍 (he squeezes them closer)

Beel says with a soft smile looking in at them: …It was fun getting to eat together with you every day here human world, MC. (His smile brightens) You know, when you’re with the right person, good food has a way of tasting even better. I want to be able to eat with you all the time, every single day. I want that to be normal. And I’m going to do whatever I can to make it so that someday soon, it really will be like that. (MC hugs him and he blushes and smiles and says) Make sure you eat enough, okay? Take care of yourself.

Belphie says also with a soft smile, making eye contact: I’m glad I got this chance to live here in the human world. Spending each day together with you in your world has been incredibly fun. (He looks sad and looks to the side) …Having to go to sleep every night in a house without you in it from now on is going to be really sad, and really lonely. (MC hugs them and he blushes but his expression is still sad and he doesn’t make eye contact) Take care, MC…

Lucifer’s wearing that fond smile that makes his eyes squint shut and he says: …Never did I imagine that one day, I’d find it this hard to say goodbye to you. I’ve managed to shock even myself. (He looks up at them then) Once I’m back in the Devildom, where I can’t see you anymore, this feeling is probably going to grow even worse. I hope this is every bit as difficult for you as it is for me. (MC hugs him) …Let’s make sure we see each other again sooner rather than later. (He gives that soft fond smile again)

Barbatos opens the portal. Solomon tells them all to take care. There’s a flash of bright light and the opening song starts playing. “MC!” Yells Mammon with a bright smile before he jumps in. “Toodles!” Says a beaming, waving Asmo. “Till next time!” says Levi with a small smile. “Take care of yourself!” Says a brightly smiling Belphie. “Bye…” Says Beel with a smile. “See you around.” Says Satan with a smile. “See you next time.” Says Lucifer with a nod of his head and a smile. “Goodybe, MC.” Says Diavolo with a bright smile. There’s another flash and the portal’s closed and they’re all gone. The credits play thanking all the main and side character VAs over human world backgrounds and YOU! Back in front of the manor Solomon says it suddenly got so quiet that he feels lonely. MC’s silent and doesn’t answer him. “Hey,” he says after a bit, “didn’t they officially hire you as their “babysitter” because you came here looking for a job, you know that thing you need to be able to survive independent adult life in the human world… Did they ever pay you for that?” “…SON OF A B–” At the angel’s halo Simeon tells a sad, silent Luke that the others must have gone back home by now, Luke quietly agrees. Simeon laughs and asks if that bothers Luke. Luke blushes, stutters and denies it. Luke tries to change the topic by telling Simeon to hurry up and grind some coffee cause they’re about to open. Simeon says they still have enough time and Luke says he’s gonna take out the trash and runs out back to avoid his feelings and this conversation. Simeon laughs. The door opens and Simeon turns to tell them they’re not opened yet but trails off. ??? says, “I can see that, yes…” Simeon’s eyes widen and his mouth turns down, he’s too shocked to say anything. ??? says, “Well, look at you. I could almost believe you really are a human, brother…” Simeon’s entire face goes blank and settles on a cold emotionless expression though he still doesn’t reply before he slowly smiles, “…Welcome. So glad you could stop by, Raphael.” And the chapter, the lesson and the season is over. So…SO…you know I don’t even have words really. I’m not, we really are getting new characters aren’t we. I mean I said in some of the earlier summaries that at this point with the way they were hyping up the angels in this season that it only makes sense to bring them in BUT I never 100% believed they would and now I’m just???? They really are gonna do it holy fuck GUYS!? I need S4 badly like rn immediately but given that the break between S2 and S3 was really small AND that they maybe introducing at least 2 new characters the break between S3 and S4 might be longer AND I get it y’know but still I desperately need this now. Holy shit. And Simeon’s facial expressions! How he looked surprised and upset and then how his face just shut down (something we rarely or never? See from him) and then how it smoothed out into a smile ajsdvbkdwhskcjksk Raphael’s way of speaking fit exactly with what I imagined after what Asmo, Lucifer and Belphie said about him. This kinda formal, authoritative, cold, distant way. And the tension between him and Simeon!? “BROTHER!????” Does he mean brother in the same way as the Sins do or is it more brother in arms the way I see Lucifer and Simeon being in the Celestial Realm? It felt cold compared to them. Pls give me a heavily dysfunctional, distant and cold angel family to contrast with the dysfunctional but close and loving demon family I WILL SCREAM. I’ve screamed all my angel and celestial realm theories in the previous summaries (there are a lot) so I’m not gonna go into detail about them here but I will say I’m keeping my fingers crossed for morally dubious/grey angels who believe they are completely in the right at all times and I’m deeply scared of getting at least part of S4 without the brothers as we are introduced to the angels – I mean don’t get me wrong I’d love if they took time to introduce us to the angels without the brothers’ dynamics with them being involved and to give us a chance to hear their side of the story before they have the whole reunion between everyone BUT I’ll also feel the heavy withdrawal effects of being deprived of the brothers so yeah. Overall the goodbye to the brothers felt far more uplifting than last season’s one given that they ended with the upbeat opening song and not the melancholic sounding ending song. WOW okay. I’m gonna try and get through the hard lessons and unlock the chapters I couldn’t since S2. SEE YOU NEXT SEASON! LOVE AK 🤍

[orenjikaraka]

I’m Truly Sorry, please Forgive Me…

Rengoku Kyojuro x reader angst

Warnings: slight manga warning aka mainly akaza just slightly though, cursing, concerned for weight, angst

word count: 4279

AU: modern

(Y/N) woke up to an empty side of the bed, She wondered if he’s at work again, she sighed, she got up, she actually kind of disappointed that he's not here , ‘Kyojuro…’ she thought, she still felt tired, but kind of relieved in the same time, because she was on break, it was only for a week, but she’s glad that she doesn’t have to go to work today, ‘I should make dinner for him, because he usually comes back late at night’, when she got up, the floor was cold, ‘well crap now I’m awake’, she got dressed and went to the kitchen, she made Kyojuro’s dinner and made her breakfast, she put his plate in the fridge, and ate her breakfast alone while watching some shows.

After she finished her food, she was wondering if she should call him, to see if he was alright. But before she could even try, Genya was calling her, ‘weird timing’, and she answered “hi Genya, what’s up?” “O- oh hi (Y/N), I was wondering if Rengoku-San is doing ok, because he’s been working on a lot of paperwork, he usually be finish with it, and head to your home, but- but he been like this yesterday morning and I don’t- don’t think he left school?” ‘Now that you think about it, Kyojuro left early yesterday in the morning, I thought it would be like a meeting, but who takes meetings that early in the DAMN morning’ “maybe he just has extra work, he needs to do Genya”, “ trueee, but he looks exhausted, so I wondering if you could check on him?”

‘Awwww, Genya, still acting like a little brother, it’s no wonder he’ll be worried, heck I'm worried too, but usually when these things happen like this, he comes the next day, sleeping soundly on our bed…’ “Genya, sweetheart, don’t worry about it, he’ll be back probably late at night, and be sound asleep in my bed, so don’t worry” “but- but (Y/N)” ‘this boy…’ “Genya I’ll tell you what, if he doesn’t come this midnight, and if morning happens and he’s still not there, can you ask Sanemi to go check on him, because I’ll be busy tomorrow, and you know, some errands for the house and grocery stopping, also I chose Sanemi, because you’ll be busy with school you know” “i- I know, and o- ok” … “OH, (Y/N), I’m celebrating my birthday today. Would you like to come, Tanjiro and his sister will be there, and Sanemi of course, “oh I would love to, I don’t really have anything to do today anyway so sure!” “YES- wait I mean thank you… for… coming…” ‘hehe poor boy, probably made his classmates scared’ “your welcome Genya, also happy birthday!” “Thank you, (Y/N), bye” “bye”.

‘Oh, before I do anything I should go buy him a gift’ so (Y/N) put on some casual clothes, instead of just wearing Pajamas, and went to the mail.

—-

All the classes has ended, and Rengoku just finished a big batch of paperwork, he yawn, and checked if he was finished, he looked on his schedule and saw more paperwork has been placed with a big sticky note that says ‘Teacher of history class: Rengoku Kyojuro; must be finished by tomorrow!’ “Fuck…” he just wanted to go home and sleep with his beautiful wife, on that soft bed, “guess this will be my 4th coffee for the day…” he got up and yawn again, and stretched, his back pop, but not in the good way, “ow, ow, ow, never doing that again…”, he walked over, and picked his stack of paper he had to do, he sat it in his desk, and walked to the teachers lounge’s door, and opened it to the hallway, before he stepped out, he saw Genya with Sanemi, most likely walking home, he guessed, but he heard Genya saying before they left, “(Y/N), is coming over, for the party, I’m so glad she’s free today!” And as they left, Kyojuro felt frustrated, ‘why didn't she tell me anything…’ he yawned again, “God, these yawns are getting on my nerves, I need my coffee…”

When he made it to the teachers lunch room, he started to make his coffee, when it finished, he drinks it, unusually fast, but unsatisfied, by the results, ‘ima have another’ so he made another, and drink it the exact speed as the last one, satisfied by the 2nd coffee, he was gonna go back to the teachers lounge, but saw a small box that had some sweet rolls, on the box it said, ‘you may only take one’, but Kyojuro had a craving to eat the whole damn box, all those coffees are really messing up his appetite, ‘who’s gonna notice these anyway, I eat most of the stuff here, so who gives a damn’ ‘but then again… I’ll gain some weight…’ he put one hand on his side, and felt some fat, it’s not noticeable, but it’s still pudge, ‘maybe I regret being a teacher, all this damn paperwork, and exhaustion, and drinking all this coffee really affecting my body…’ when he was thinking about all this stuff and he was about to ditch it and left,  but hunger was just raging in his stomach so ‘ok, ok, maybe some won’t hurt’ and took the whole damn box and left for the teachers lounge.

—-

(Y/N) was at Sanemi’s house celebrating Genya’s birthday, everything was going great and to (Y/N), she was surprised that Sanemi was having a great time too. It was kind of sad that Kyojuro wasn’t there, he would be giving Genya tons of gifts, but sadly he’s still at work, it made (Y/N) a bit disappointed again, but she wanted to just hope, he’s doing ok, “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” “Oh, Sanemi, I’m just worried for my husband is all…” “don’t worry about it, like you said to Genya, if he doesn’t show up to your house tomorrow morning, I’ll go check on him, just relax and don’t worry about it” “ok…” “quick (Y/N), I’m blow the heck out of the candles!!” Genya said, (Y/N) laughed, “ok!!, come on Sanemi, get off that couch of yours, and stop being lazy” Sanemi smirk “ohhhh really, I’ll prove to you, that I’m not” he gets up, “I like to see you try!!” Sanemi and (Y/N) laughed after that, and went over to the kitchen to celebrate Sanemi’s little bro's birthday.

—-

After Genya’s birthday celebration was over, (Y/N) went straight home, to relax and just vibe at home, when she took her shower and other little chores and pajamas on, she was about to fell on her bed, but she heard a knock on her door, she immediately turned around and hope it was Kyojuro, when she opened it, her excitement immediately stopped, she saw akaza, “sorry to bother you Mrs. Rengoku, but I’m just here to drop some stuff off”, “who stuff is it?” “Just Rengoku-sans” “oh ok, thanks akaza, oh also is he still at work?” Akaza sighed “yeah… I kind of feel bad for the guy, been working his ass off over some stupid extra paperwork…”, ‘I’ll remind Sanemi tomorrow to go check on him’, “akaza, before you leave, thanks again I appreciate it”, “your welcome, and have a great night!” Akaza waved goodbye and walked away, ‘akaza, I hope that boy relationship is better then mine, because he needs it, he’s such a sweet boy…’ (Y/N) closed the door, and looked in the box, it had finished paperwork inside it.

‘Ren… you really need to take a break…’

—-

The next evening is even more tiring than before, Kyojuro looks more warned out; he looks like he's gonna faint any minute, but that coffee stops him from doing so. ‘Fuck me… my eyes hurt so much…’ Kyojuro yawned again. The teacher's office door opened, Kyojuro didn’t give a damn who it was, because he felt like passing out. “Rengoku”, … “Kyojuro”, … “HEY, I know you can hear me, don’t play du-“ “how about you shut your mouth Sanemi” “tch, hey I’m only here because your wife sent me here to check up on you, not for you to be a asshole to me” that annoyed Kyojuro “why the hell are you with my (Y/N)” “Ren, she’s like a sister to me, even though we’re not related, I still see her as family, so why the fuck you think, I be behind your back with that” Kyojuro sighed and stood from his chair “where is she” “she’s out doing errands, she wanted to come over here and check on you, but house chores and grocery shopping” Kyojuro sat back down and trying to finish what he was left off “ok, leave, I have work to do, so buzz off”.

“Are you listening to yourself right now, your just gonna go back on your work instead of paying attention to (Y/N)” “no, I need to finish it, for my job, someone needs to pay the bills in the house” Sanemi got pissed off by that, then he chuckled “tch, no wonder (Y/N) comes to my house, when she’s all tearing up, because someone needs to give her attention and that someone is not you” Kyojuro stood up and put his hands by Sanemi’s shirt, Sanemi can see that flame in his eyes, the rage… “Sanemi if you lay a finger on-“ “maybe I should, I can treat her better than you…” Kyojuro was about to punch him, but the door opened again, and Genya was there, poor boy was shocked, “let go, Rengoku” Sanemi made Kyojuro let go, Sanemi walked over to Genya, and reassured him, Kyojuro just stared back and a overflowing guilt fell on him, Sanemi looked back with rage and discuss in his eyes, “Ren, you need to get your act together, if you can’t do that, she’s gonna move on, and divorce you…” then slammed the door. 

Sanemi walked out with Genya and head home, but before he touched the door knob, his phone rings, he got his phone out of his pocket and saw (Y/N) on the screen, he answers, “hey what’s up” “hey can I come spend the night at your house” Sanemi was surprised, “oh… why-“ “Genya texted me, that the talk you had with Ren, didn’t go so well…” ‘she sounds depressed’ “hey… is everything ok…” ‘wait, why would I ask such a dumb question’ “kinda… I'm just sick of being alone at home…” “yeah, want me to come pick you up” “yes…” “ok, I’ll come pick you up in 10 minutes from now” “thanks Sem Sem, I appreciate it” Sanemi chuckled, “your welcome, (Y/N)…” 

—-

It was late at night again, and Kyojuro was still at work doing paperwork, he felt like knocking out, his eyes were drooping and his back hurts, ‘me, an jerk, fuck off Sanemi…’ ‘maybe I should call her…’ Kyojuro stop doing his work and picked up his phone off the desk and started to call her, it rings and rings and rings, until a voicemail happens, “hi this is (Y/N), I might be busy with my husband, so please understand, leave a message after the beep”, *bee-* He canceled it before it even tried to go to voicemail, ‘why should I even try again, it’s midnight’ he put his phone down and he wanted to rest his eyes ‘maybe, I am a jerk’ then he denied it ‘no, I need to finish this work…’ yawned again, ‘actually maybe a small nap won’t hurt, right?’ He laid on his arms, and wondered ‘am I really a bad husband, mom if you were here, what would you say about this…’ Kyojuro slowly fell asleep on his desk.

—-

It was midnight and (Y/N) didn’t want to call back Kyojuro, she saw the missed call from him, but she was shocked to think he would call her, she sighed and tried to go to sleep but couldn’t, maybe she’s overreacting about Kyojuro, she knows his job can be overwhelming, but… but… she’s tearing up, she’s sobbing, she’s quivering, she lift herself up, and put her arms around her legs. 

Sanemi was fast asleep in the living room couch, Genya couldn’t really sleep because what happened in the teachers lounge, what Sanemi said and what Rengoku said, he felt guilt swelling up in his heart, then he hear (Y/N) sobbing in Sanemi’s master bedroom, he sit up, and opened his door, and quietly walked to his brother’s room, slowly opened the door, and saw (Y/N), he felt horrible, he closed the door behind him, and slowly touched her back and slowly rubs her back, “hey, (Y/N)… everything will be ok…” (Y/N) let go of her arms and slowly hugged Genya, she was sobbing on his shoulder, he hugged her back, and give light rubs on her back, and whispered “everything is going to be fine”, it slowly calmed her down, and she looked up at Genya, her puffy eyes made him felt terrible, “I’m sorry I woke you up Genya, it’s just so much is happening…” “no, no, no, it’s fine, your stressed out because what’s all happening and I completely understand that'', “thanks Genya…” “do you need anything else, (Y/N)” she paused and still looked gloomy, “can you sleep with me, It’s hard for me to sleep”, Genya spaced out and it was a little out of the blue for him, “sur- sure, if it- it helps you sleep- I com- completely understand” his cheeks were slightly pink, (Y/N) laughed because he looks so cute, when’s he’s blushy, “thanks Genya'' she made a small smile, that made Genya stop blushing, he smiled back, he stood up, and started to fix his side of the bed, and he walked out and walked back in for his phone, (Y/N) layed down on her side of the bed, and Genya rested on the left side, “thanks again Gen Gen…” “your welcome (Y/N)…” and they both fell asleep. 

—-

Sanemi woke up first, because he needs to get Genya ready for school and everything, like make his breakfast and stuff, he left his main clothes in the living room because he didn’t want to wake up (Y/N), he got dressed and he head to Genya’s room, to wake him up, when he got there and opened the door, he wasn’t there, ‘where you go?’ Then he look at his room, and slowly walked to his room and opened it, and saw Genya sleeping on the left side and (Y/N) on the right, ‘she must’ve had a hard time sleeping, so she asked Genya…’ he still felt frustrated from yesterday, ‘maybe I should call for a day off today, because of (Y/N)’ so he slowly closed the door and called his boss, he said Genya’s not feeling well and that Genya has to stay home, and he had to stay home and take care of him, he ended the call and started to make breakfast for the both of them, he made there plates first, then he made his, his room door opened and Sanemi’s head looked at the direction, and saw Genya walked out then (Y/N), they both yawn, “I smelled pancakes, so I woke up first” (Y/N) said, Genya just shook up, “wait!, ima be late for school!”, then Sanemi quickly said “you dork, I told them we have a day off!, so calm down…``''oh…”, (Y/N) laughed on the two brothers, “why did you call a day off Sanemi?” “Because of you, I saw Genya slept on the other side of the bed, so I thought, you had a hard time sleeping” “I did and Genya helped, isn’t that little dude” “HEY, I’m not around the same age, but I am like twice your size!”, (Y/N) laughed, it made the brothers smile, because it’s better to see their friend happy instead of so sorrowful, “hey, Sanemi… later from today, can you drop me at the school, I need to talk to Rengoku'' Sanemi was a bit surprised to hear her say his last name, “sure, I can, but if anything happens I’ll be in the hallway, and if anyone ask why I’m there, I’ll just say, I’m waiting on someone” “thanks Sanemi” she smiled softly “your welcome (Y/N), if anything happens I’ll rush in there” 

“Thanks and I appreciate it”

—-

It was the afternoon and Kyojuro woke up from his nap, he felt all horrible, his back still hurts, his eyes has deep bags under them, and his body has a trill to drink more coffee, he tried stretching again, but the aches on his back felt like needles piercing through his skin “well that just fucking hurts” he touched his sides and his back, because they were hurting like hell, ‘hope this day, won’t get any worse as it is’, the teacher’s lounge door opened and right when he looked up, he saw his beautiful (Y/N), she looked dreadful, “hi…” she spoke, he felt guilt in his heart because how sad she sounds, “hi…” “can we talk, Rengoku…”, Kyojuro felt even more guilt, why is she calling me that, like we’re strangers all over again he thought, “baby, why are you not calling me by my-“ “Ren, why aren’t you coming home” that guilt slowly turns into frustration, “because I have a job, and I need to pay the bills for us to survive…” “yes, but doesn’t mean you stay up and at your job for three days straight”, “so-“, now (Y/N) slightly raising her voice “what do you mean so!, look at yourself, you been sitting in your desk, drinking coffee, have horrible bags under your eyes, you look like your gonna knock out, Rengo-“ “STOP CALLING ME BY MY LAST NAME” that terrified her, but she still stood her ground, “why should I!! I have been ignored for the past three days! You don’t even give me a text that ‘I’ll be still at work!’ Or at least something comforting!” “Oh (Y/N)!, why don’t you stop being a sensitive little bitch!, and just grow up!” 

Kyojuro eyes went wide, shocked to why he even said that, (Y/N) was trembling, her tears were streaming down her cheeks, Kyojuro wanted to help her calm down, but when he tried to reach for her, she backed up, Kyojuro felt horrible, he felt like he wanted to get punched, his voice was shaky, “(Y/N)…” he tried to touch her shoulder again, but she back up again, “don’t touch me…” his heart shattered when he heard her and how scared she is, “(Y/N), I’m sorry…”, it was silent, until she said “Kyojuro…, no wonder your just like your father…”, and she ran out just like that, Kyojuro was speechless, he wanted to run after her, but couldn’t, because she was right, Kyojuro started tearing up and quavering.

“Am I really…”

——

(Y/N) was running away from the school, the students that were leaving school saw her with sad looks on there faces, Sanemi was behind yelling her name, She just wanted to go far, far, far away from this horrible school, Sanemi chack up, and grabbed her by the arm, “LET GO!!” And Sanemi turned her around, “hey, it’s me, it's me…”, she hugged Sanemi and he hugged back, he picked her up, “it’s going to be ok… shhh.. everything going to be ok… I’ll take you back to my house…”

When they got there, Genya looked worried for (Y/N), she was crying silently, Sanemi wanted to put her down, but she didn’t let go, “(Y/N)?”, “can- can, you and Genya, stay up with me…, be- because I don’t think I can sleep…” Sanemi felt horrible, he should’ve just stepped in, but he wanted to give them space and respect their personal conversation, “sure, (Y/N), anything to make you positive and not stressed, I can do that” ‘hearing that from Sanemi was strange, because usually he’s always stern or blatantly aggressive, but he always would hide his anger on me’ “tha- thanks, Sem Sem…” Sanemi made a small pleasant smile that also made her smile, “hey, (Y/N), how about we watch a movie for the night?” 

“Sure, I would love that…”

——

When Kyojuro got home, he was not surprised that she wasn’t here, his fist clenched, and he slammed the door behind him, he was starving, because he felt like if he ate, he’ll just throw up, but he had to eat something, so he walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge, and saw some dinner, wrapped in foil, and a sticky note on top, he picked up the note, and it read, ‘hi, love, I’m glad your home, finished this amazing dinner I made, I worked really hard on it, so I hope you like it!’ Also ps. When you finish come cuddle with me! <3’, a teardrop fell on the note, and his hand was shaking, it started to become hard to read, because the tears kept flowing, he closed the fridge, and decided to not eat it, the note was now on the floor but he didn’t care, he just wanted to go to sleep, and just hope this is all a nightmare…

After he took his shower and got ready for bed, he wanted to call her again, so he did, but right when he clicked the call button, it went straight to voicemail, he hung up, before her cute voice can say anything, he tossed his phone on her side of the bed, and sat down on his side of the bed, his quivering got worriedly worst, his breathing was uneven, “(Y/N)… please come… back… I’m… nothing like my father…” 

“Please… I’m sorry… please come back…”

—-

The following morning, Sanemi woke up first, he got up quietly, stretched his back and popped his joints. He was gonna start breakfast for everyone, but he heard a knock on the door, “who the hell can that be?”, he opened the door and saw Kyojuro, he looked exhausted as usual, but he was well dressed, his hair looks kind of messy, “can I see her, I need to talk to her…” his voice sounds raspy, “no, also please leave, she doesn’t want company at the moment” Sanemi was about to close the door but Kyojuro put his foot on the side, so it won’t close, “please… I must talk to her…” Sanemi hated being in the middle of this, but he can’t just do nothing, (Y/N) was upset about and to see her not happy, makes him wants to punch the hell out of whoever made her unhappy, “listen Rengoku, I don’t want to beat the living pulp out of you, so if you mind, just fucking leave” “I’m not leaving until I talk to her!” He can see those flames in his eyes again. “Why you-“

“Sanemi, who is that?”, (Y/N) woke up, then Genya woke up after, Sanemi turned around with a sad look, “it’s no one” “that’s a lie, (Y/N) please… come out and open the door so we can talk… please…” (Y/N) was shocked to hear Kyojuro at the other side of the door, Sanemi turn back “dude, I told you-“ “Sanemi, let me go talk to him” she stood and walked over to the door, Sanemi turned back, with sternness, but he couldn’t say no, so he opened the door fully and walked to his room and told Genya to follow, but before the two boys went to Sanemi’s room, Sanemi said this, “if you hurt her, your dead you hear”, and both the both the boys were out of sight, it was just (Y/N) and Kyojuro.

“What is it, Rengoku…”

“Look I know you hate me, but please hear me out…” he stepped in and got a little closer.

(Y/N) sighed and nodded in response.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry, that I ignored your text, your calls, and most of all, I’m sorry that I ignored you, it breaks my heart to see you so sad and stressed out, to see you so scared and frightened of me, I don’t want you to see me as my father, I'm truly sorry, please forgive me… I’ll never treat you like this ever again…” his voice was cracking while he talked, but it truly hurt to see him like this, “I’ll prov- prove to you that I’m a worthy husband to you…” he was quivering, “I- I- love you- you, (Y/N)… please don’t leave me… I’m sorry…” “please… I’ll do better-“ 

(Y/N) hugged him back she was sobbing, but at least she didn’t walk away from him, he hugged her back, and kept saying sweet sorrys, in her ears, giving her kisses, and making her feel loved…

“I’m sorry… my love…”

“Kyojuro… I forgive you…”

“You do!” he sounded like a lost puppy and that make her laughed

“Yes, Koy” she smiled 

Kyojuro had the brightest smile, and it made her even more happy.

She hugged him again and he hugged back, “hey koy~”

Hm~”

“Love the new you~” she hugged around his waist.

He blushed, “(Y/N)…” he said shyly he covered his face on her shoulder.

She giggled, “I love you, koy~”

“I love you too, sweetheart~”

[luxwritesfanfic]

Right Where You Left Me

Reader gets déjà vu in a way she never expected. Or, the one where Sherlock is the gift that never stops giving. AU!Bucky because he always has your back. Enjoy!

Author’s Note: There is a lot of angst and multiple different aspects that could be very triggering for some within this work. Please be mindful of the trigger warning below and if you see something that you feel should be listed, message me and I will edit accordingly!

Trigger Warning: Severe depression, suicidal ideations, suicide attempt (overdose), forced vomiting, talk of death in general, angst with a happy ending

Sherlock Holmes/Reader

You couldn’t really tell how long you’d been lying in bed for. Time was such a foreign concept to you now. It was either before the fall, when you were happy and he was with you, or after the fall, where you were all alone. You weren’t alone physically because your friends would never allow for that. Since the fall, you’d been staying in Sherlock’s flat, and Mrs. Hudson would always bring you a plate of whatever she was cooking and put it in the fridge. And like clockwork, she’d come every Sunday and clean the fridge out from where you didn’t touch any of the plates. She never seemed to mind, though, and she never stopped bringing you food.  

Bucky would come by every day and check on you and help you do things around the house. And by help you, he did everything for you. Mrs. Hudson would let him stay in John’s old room whenever he needed, and he’d make sure you showered and that your laundry was done. He would tell you he does this because he loves you and that even though you weren’t born his sister, you would die that way.

John had moved on and moved out and you were happy for him. Mary was lovely, and you wished you could move on with your life, but you couldn’t. You knew he was taking it just as hard as you and that you both just had different ways of coping with the pain.  

When you had to quit your job, Mycroft was immediately there and offered to take care of you financially. “Please, allow me to do this for you. It’s what my brother would have wanted. He couldn’t stand me when he was ali—here, so the least I can do is make him happy where he is now,” he said quietly. Pigs must’ve been flying in the window behind you because when you reached to hug Mycroft, he met you halfway. You cried nonstop for days after that.

You had tried to be better after the scare, not for you, but for your family. You don’t remember much from it, but you do know that no one brings it up around you and you haven’t been left alone for longer than a few hours since.

You woke up with your face propped up against something cool, but you could barely open your eyes to see where you were. Your stomach was in the most pain it had ever been in and everything around you sounded so far away. You remember being yanked back and fingers were shoved down your throat and someone, Bucky, was standing over you and holding you up saying through tears, “I know it hurts and I’m sorry, but you have to throw it up, Y/N. You have to. I can’t lose you, too.”  

Everything hurt and in between gags you could hear Mrs. Hudson crying and begging whoever was on the phone to get there faster. You had never heard anyone scream like that and you were sorry you were the one who caused it.

Even though you’d promised Sherlock he would never lose you, Fate stepped in and you lost him. When you thought about the turn your life had taken, you just told everyone you were keeping your end of the deal.  

Bucky knocked on your door and stuck his head in. “Mornin’, Y/N. I’m gonna start some laundry and make us some coffee and then I’ll be back, okay?” You could tell he was worried by the tone of his voice, but he did a good job of hiding it. You didn’t say anything back to it and he didn’t expect you to.  

Bucky came in a little later with some towels in his hand and a coffee in the other. “I know you’re not feeling real good today, so I was thinking I could wash your hair for you? You can just bend over the tub and I’ll do all the work. I’ve even been watching some videos on how to braid and then you won’t have to worry it matting up either.” He set the coffee down on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed next to you.  

By this point you were already crying into the pillow because how could the people in your life love you this much when you had nothing to offer them anymore?

“I love you so much,” you cried, and Bucky’s heart broke at the sound, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry and I love you.”

He brushed the hair away from your face. His hands were warm, and it made you feel human again. “You don’t have to be sorry. I love you and I will take care of you for however long you need me to. God knows you would-- and have, done the same for me. So, let me wash your hair for you and I can tell you all about how Lestrade constantly shits on Anderson now as an eternal tribute.”  

You smiled and although it wasn’t full of life, he was just as happy to see it. You ended up just getting a shower and Bucky rushed next door to get you a sandwich in hopes that you’d eat for him, too.  

As you were brushing your hair out, you heard multiple voices. You heard Bucky, and he sounded… shocked? And then there was John and then just as you were about to reach for the door you heard it. You would know that baritone voice anywhere. Barging out of the bathroom and almost tripping over your own two feet, you came to a full stop.

“Sherlock?”  

There he stood in the middle of the room with John a few feet behind him, and Bucky with his back to you, seemingly always ready to protect you. It looked like him and it sounded like him, and hell, it even smelled like him. You couldn’t believe it.

“Y/N.” He went to make a step towards you but seemed to have think better of it. It was better if he assessed your reaction to seeing him first. It had been so long since he had last seen you and while he silently fought the raw want he had to hold you, he knew you were seeing red.

“I don’t even—I can’t-- can’t even comprehend this. Where do I start? Where the fuck have you been? You were dead, Sherlock! I watched you…” You squeezed your eyes shut, steeling yourself the best you could. You weren’t going to cry. You had too much to say. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw John and Bucky slip through the front door. You were sure that was their best bet.

Sherlock said nothing as you went off because there was really nothing for him to say. He understood why you were so mad with him, even if he wasn’t generally self-aware when it came to his own feelings, he wasn’t that daft. He had come prepared for this and he was going to make it right.

“No, you know what? Don’t say anything. I don’t even want to hear it. I have been fucking rotting in this flat while everyone else was able to move on with their lives. I was here, because I couldn’t live without you. My world stopped. I do nothing, Sherlock, nothing but sit and lay in your bed and cry into your old shirts!” You were yelling now, hands running through your hair as you tried to make sense of it all. Somewhere in the back of your mind you made a mental note to thank Bucky for making you get up and shower this morning.

“I quit my job, Sherlock. Mycroft has been paying to keep me alive and Mrs. Hudson and Bucky take turns to make sure I’m still breathing every other hour because they’re scared that if I’m left alone for too long, I won’t be. And poor John, I see him and start fucking bawling because then all I see is you. I stopped caring about everything, and everyone else, because the only person I cared about looked me in the eyes and walked off a fucking building!”

Sherlock opened his mouth to say something, but you quickly cut him off.  

“Seriously, don’t speak. You don’t get to just waltz in with John after all this time—you know what? There’s the million-dollar question. Was I the only one who didn’t know you were alive? Because so help me God, Sherlock, I’m this close to losing it.”

He didn’t know whether or not he should actually speak, but he took the cue after he started to physically feel the heat from the deathly glare you were giving him. You quite literally looked deranged but that didn’t stop him from taking a step towards you. He always seemed to chase danger, and you were no exception.

“No… you weren’t the only one. John only just found out a few weeks ago, and only a few select people knew the whole time.” Sherlock was careful with his words. He knew he was walking on thin ice.

You didn’t say anything to that, and Sherlock found that even scarier than when you were yelling.

“Hah, select people, huh? I like that one. So, where were you staying? Were you in London this whole time? Shit, you could’ve been downstairs for all I know. I guess I wouldn’t be a select person to know that, though, would I?”

Sherlock grimaced. Things were going worse than he imagined, and he already figured it would be pretty bad. That was an understatement. “I had to jump around often for everyone’s safety, but I stayed in London for the most part. I stayed with Molly when I could.”

You laughed in his face at that, and you clamped your hand over your mouth, turning your back on him lest you start laughing again. He watched you with furrowed brows and you knew he wanted to speak but you couldn’t do it right now.  You took a few steps towards the kitchen window and looked out at the bustling London streets beneath you. For months your world stopped, and it seemed so real when in reality nothing stopped at all.  

“Great, great. That’s so great. Splendid, really.” You murmured to yourself and perched your free hand on your hip. Drumming your fingers against your lips, you began again.  

“Bucky had to glue the windows down because he thought I was going to jump, and you were staying with Molly.” The tone of your voice was venomous and if looks could kill, Sherlock Holmes would be dead for real this time.

Sherlock winced. “Y/N, please, let me—” You cut him off, speaking louder this time. Your face was void of emotion, but your eyes betrayed you as the tears started to fall freely and your voice cracked under the weight of everything that was being said.

“Bucky had to glue the windows down because I thought I was going to jump, and you were staying with Molly! Damn you, Sherlock Holmes! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” You grasped at the kitchen counter to steady yourself as you gasped for air between the sobs that you couldn’t contain anymore. Your heart ached so badly that you actually clutched your chest, afraid that it was going to break through your ribcage and abandon ship. You could barely register Sherlock coming up behind you through your tears and as he willed you to face him, you noticed that his eyes were brimmed red and glossy. Even sad, Sherlock looked as beautiful as a doll.

“I always come when you call, why didn’t you come for me?” You cried, fisting your hands in his shirt so tightly that you thought heard buttons pop. Your head was swimming and you had never felt more betrayed in your life. How could Sherlock turn to anyone but you? Had you not made it clear that you would do anything for him?  

“I called for you every single night, Sherlock! Begged for you, mourned you, I—” The tears wouldn’t stop flowing and your voice was starting to crack from its sudden and harsh overuse.

It was then that Sherlock wedged himself so close to you that you didn’t even have the space to move your head and look up at him. A pair of strong arms wrapped around your back and you were being squeezed so hard to him that you thought you’d either die from a heart attack or suffocation. And even now at the hands of Sherlock, neither seemed that bad. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He whispered against your forehead again and again as if he was repeating a chant he had been practicing for some time.

“I love you so much and you didn’t even call! Why didn’t you call?” Your words were lost to the both of you now, spoken into his shirt and distorted by your sobs. Sherlock held you as you cried and tried to contain your shaking body against his as you let out months of sadness and pain and despair. You were so overwhelmed that you couldn’t think straight.  

“I know, I know you do, and that’s why I couldn’t call. I couldn’t call for you.” He held onto you as he spoke like you would disappear. Sherlock had decided before he even stepped foot into the flat that he would not lose you again. In his time away from you, he was subjected to feelings he could only describe as both love and heartbreak in equal measure. Being apart from you had left him feeling a void that nothing could fill, but it was his love for you that he relied on to keep you safe and away from him.  

Sherlock pulled back from you and while it was only by a few inches, you suddenly felt worlds away. You go to pull him back to you when he gathers your hands in his and leaves a trail of ghostly kisses along the spread of your knuckles.  

“I have never begged for mercy in my life…” He murmurs, eyes never leaving yours. He was determined; that much you could tell. Your eyes widened as he lowered himself to one knee, and then two. “Until now. I have hurt you in ways that are beyond comprehensible. Please, grant me the mercy I do not deserve to explain myself. I am willing to bare myself before you if you’ll have me.”

You were in shock at the sight of Sherlock on his knees before you. You had heard him apologize maybe twice in your time of knowing him and here he was, begging for you to hear him out. All you could do is nod.

You expected him to stand up again, but he sat in place and looked up at you with so much love in his eyes that felt all the anger you were harboring dissipate under his gaze. He took a deep breath and prepared himself. If you were ever going to forgive him, he knew that he would have to be honest. And he knew that if he was going to be honest, he would have to admit the feelings he had for you and hope that he could express them in a way that you could understand.

“There were constantly people watching you, and John, and pretty much everyone else who held any value in my life,” he explained, rubbing his thumbs over your fingers as he spoke absentmindedly, “they knew you would be suffering, they counted on that. And if you weren’t, they’d know something was going on. Your suffering had to be real, or else it wouldn’t have been believable. I didn’t want to keep you in the dark. But I had no choice. When I faked my death, I had some help. I stayed with Molly here and there because she already knew, and my relationship with her is is…different for ours.” He paused.  

You were hanging on every word he said. You could tell he was being sincere, and even though you were upset, you understood. If leaving Sherlock meant protecting him, you would do it too.  

He cleared his throat and started again. “Molly was a safer option. They would have expected less of a reaction from her. And if things were to go wrong…” Trailing off, Sherlock squeezed your hands. You knew what he was trying to say, and you didn’t dare breathe. “You were not someone I could lose. It couldn’t have been you. So yes, I stayed with Molly, but I worked constantly to make it so that I could come home to you.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. “Sherlock,” you whimpered, pulling him to his feet by his collar and back to you where he belonged. He followed suit quickly like he was reading your mind.  

For what seemed like the first time today, you were truly taking him in. He was just as beautiful as he was the day he left you. You reached up to brush away a stray curl from his eyes and smiled at the way he seemed to try and follow your touch.  

There were so many things that you couldn’t be sure of, but this is something you’d always know to be true. You loved Sherlock, terribly, terribly, so. If loving him was the only purpose you ever found in this lifetime, you would be sure not to fail him.

You were lost in other when the sound of footsteps climbing up the stairs drew your attention. Sherlock followed your gaze as you watched John enter the flat from the living room.

“Is everyone okay up here? There was a lot of yelling and then it got pretty quiet…” As he rounded the corner to the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks at the sight of you braced against the counter with a small amount of space between you and Sherlock that he must’ve recently graced you with because you could barely move before. His hands rested on your hips and your hands had found solace on his shoulders. John looked like a deer caught in headlights before he covered his eyes with his hands and made to walk back out, determined not to ruin the moment that all of London was waiting on.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! Don’t mind me, pretend I was never here!” He called out as he dashed back down the stairs so quickly you thought he had fallen and you were sure you heard him say to someone, “I told you so!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation and when you looked back at Sherlock, you realized he was already looking at you. Even after everything today, you still caught yourself feeling nervous under his heavy gaze.  

“So, it’s okay when you stare but not when I do?” You teased, hoping that he couldn’t see the blush you could surely feel. Sherlock squinted his eyes at your comment as if he didn’t understand what you meant but gave you a devilish smile all the same.  

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t. “But you are confirming that you do stare at me, right?”  

You were torn between smacking the smirk off his face or kissing it, whatever compelled you the most and right now it was a tie. Rolling your eyes, you brought your hands down to his arms and gave them a squeeze. Not even realizing you were thinking out loud, you whispered something about having déjà vu. This caught Sherlock’s attention, and he moved tiniest bit closer to you. “Déjà vu? How so?”

Cursing yourself under your breath, you laughed and dipped your head down between the two of you, laughing at how ridiculous all of this was. “Jeez, it’s been years now. I had the most realistic dream that’s stuck with me all this time.”

Sherlock tsked at you and moved to bring your head back up so that he could properly see your face. He cupped your cheeks and in the most familiar way and just like in the dream, you were breathless.  

“Go on,” he urged, voice like velvet, “tell me what happened in your dream.”

You all but melted under his gaze. Sherlock, in any form, would always have this effect on you it seemed. His thumb brushed along your lower lip as his own parted. Physically he was with you, but mentally he was far away committing this memory to only a place he could see.

“Use your words. I’m paying raft attention, aren’t I?” Once again you thanked Mrs. Hudson and her choice in countertops because if it was any less sturdy you were sure you would collapse and bring him down with you. On second thought—

Any coherent thought was lost to you when Sherlock nosed your cheek, and you couldn’t help the gasp that left your lips or the words after.

“I told you I loved you, Sherlock. That’s what happened in the dream.” Your words were spoken so quickly in the effort to chase after his lips but he held you still, waiting and wanting in front of him.  

You whined like a child. None of anything that happened today was fair to you, but one kiss and you would forgive all of London for keeping your detective’s secret.

“Well, I guess the only proper response to that is for me to tell you that I’ve loved you for ages, my dear girl.” He smiled against your skin and you thought that this was it. You had officially lost your last marble, and this was the delirium finally setting in. You welcomed the insanity happily.

“Say it again, please. I need to hear you say it again.” You begged, everything hitting you at all at once.

“I love you,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours. “I love you, and it’s only ever been you. It couldn’t be anyone else but you. You…didn’t you know that?” His eyebrows rose up and you stopped him in his tracks. That was Sherlock for “are you dumb?”

It was then that you decided you were done with talking before he had the chance to say anything smart. You pulled him down to you so quickly that you missed the shock that flashed in his eyes when your lips finally met. After years of yearning and pining for the man in front of you, you finally had him right where you wanted him. There were so many things you wanted to say to him, but no words would express how you truly felt about him and lucky for you, Sherlock was more of a hands-on learner.  

When you finally broke apart, you got to admire the man of your every hour in all his glory. The mussed hair and kiss swollen lips really added to his already suave look and you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. “You’re handsome. So handsome, seriously, it should really be a crime. I can finally tell you that without any shame.”

He returned your smile tenfold, and you thought if you could make his eyes crinkle like that just one more time in your life that it would be a life well lived. He acted as if he was mulling your statement over, rolling his bottom lip between teeth. “You could’ve mentioned it before. It might’ve helped me make my deductions much sooner.”

You slapped him on the shoulder but then worked on smoothing his shirt out while he watched you with a gentle fondness that he reserved just for you. You still had so many questions that you wanted answered but you knew those could wait. Something had been generous enough to answer your most asked prayer and you weren’t about to be ungrateful for even a second.  

Placing one last (for now) kiss on his cheek, you led him to the door to the flat and swung it open. “Hey, has Mrs. Hudson seen you—”

As if on perfect cue, Mrs. Hudson shrieks so loudly that any bad memory you have of her yelling is now a good one.

“Sherlock!”

[butwhyduh]

Jumping

Tim drake x reader

This is during the time that Dick has to fake his own death. I’m also ignoring most of canon tbh. Mentions suicide ideals.

You worried about Tim. I mean, you always had since you met him in a coffee shop and they gave him your order instead of his and all he did was ask for a shot of espresso to go with it. But tonight you were terribly concerned because Tim was so sad that he was dull. His shiny black hair hang limp and his bright blue eyes looked dull and blood shot.

You couldn’t exactly blame him. It was only 2 week before that his brother Dick had died. He hadn’t touched his computer all day but instead sat staring at various places around his apartment. You forced him to eat a very late meal and he took all of 3 bite from his food.

You washed up and went back in the living room for him to be gone.

“Tim? Tim?” You asked. You noticed the window to the fire escape was open. You walked over and shivered at the cold breeze.

He was standing on the edge of the roof and you froze. Your first thought was ‘is he going to jump?’ Your heart pounded as you gently called him and it scared you even more when he didn’t respond.

“Tim? Timothy? Tim, what are you doing?” You said with fear creeping in your voice. There was no way that you could climb the stairs up a level to stop him if he jumped right now. He looked down at you disoriented.

“What?”

“Please step back. You’re- you’re scaring me. Tim, please,” you said and he took a step back but looked bewildered. You quickly climbed the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” He asked in a daze. You pulled him into a hug and farther from the edge. Your body was shaking and he confusingly pat your back reassuringly.

“Don’t scare me like that,” you chided him before mentally kicking yourself. If he was that bad, he needed support not anger. He really didn’t seem to get it.

“What are you talking about? What’s got you so scared?” He finally said clearly.

“I thought- I thought you were going to jump,” you said burying your head in crook of his neck. Your fingers gripped the back of his shirt tightly and you listened to his heartbeat. You might never let go of him.

“Oh shit. I wasn’t- no. I just needed to think,” he said rubbing your hair gently. “Sorry I scared you.”

“It’s okay. I’m just worried. It’s a lot to lose your brother. Maybe you should talk to someone,” you said gently. He looked at you guiltily.

“I’ve been a little too lost in it, hu? Sorry. It’s just that.... I never expected this to happen. He always seemed invincible. He’d jump off the roof with no hooks or nets and swing on light poles before landing on the ground and wouldn’t hurt a thing. He’d take on metas and come out unscathed. That was just Dick, you know?” Tim said after a minute. “Nobody knew how he did it.”

Tim pulled you both to sit on a lawn chair on the roof. Your fingers played with the back of his hair and you couldn’t stop looking at him because you had never been so worried to lose Tim before. He flinched at the sight of how you looked at him. You were genuinely terrified earlier.

“I wouldn’t jump. I wouldn’t do that. Especially not to you,” Tim said and it scared you that you weren’t sure if he meant that he’d never do it or not where you’d possibly see. “Don’t worry. I’m right here.”

You let yourself believe that and you leaned into him, pressing your ear against his chest. His heartbeat calmed you and you listened to it as he rubbed your back. He stared out at the sky and Tim didn’t know how long you were both out there before he noticed that you had fallen asleep. He smiled a little.

Then his next thought was the logistics of getting you down to your bed without waking you. The fire escape wasn’t exactly built for carrying people through. Soft goosebumps were on your arms in the cold and Tim carefully picked you up and miraculously made it back into your apartment. After a few hair raising seconds where he almost smacked your head and feet on a door frame, he managed to get you in bed.

You hands had a death grip on his shirt and Tim was pulled into bed. It wasn’t the worst idea to get some sleep. And he certainly felt that he owed you some peace of mind after he scared you so bad. When was the last time he fell asleep? He laid back and you clung to him tightly.

The next morning you woke up warm. Far too warm. And arm was thrown over your face that you wiggled out from under and another held your back. You stretched your fingers that felt like they had been gripping something all night. The sun was out and Tim was still in bed. You put the pieces from the night before together and looked up at his face.

There was no scowl or wrinkle in his brow. He looked peaceful. His lips had a slight pout in sleep. His face had a light smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks and his hair had fallen over his eyes. You gently brushed it back to get a better look at his beautiful face. You held the back of his head as light as you could while staring at him. You almost never got this view and you just watched him sleep for a few minutes.

“Isn’t it rude to stare,” he said after a while. You jumped a little and laughed.

“Did I wake you?” You asked.

“No. I think I actually got a full night sleep,” Tim said and he still hadn’t opened his eyes.

“Yeah, we should probably get breakfast,” you said moving to get up. Tim wrapped his arms around you tighter and squished you to his chest. You squeaked.

“Not yet. A few more minutes,” he mumbled almost back asleep. You chuckled and booped his nose. Tim’s eyes flew open. “What was that?”

“Waking you up,” you said and he gave you a fake glare before his arms slowly moved. Then Tim attacked your sides with a tickle. You shrieked and jumped back before he stopped. He smiled at you almost ruefully before gently kissing you chastely. His smile fell when he pulled back.

“I’ve got to go to Bludhaven today. Take care of some of his stuff that he’d want to keep,” Tim said and you frowned.

“Do you need me to go?” You were still worried about him.

“No, Jason is going. Don’t worry about me, okay,” Tim said seriously. “I need to get up because he’ll be here in 30 minutes? Maybe?”

The knock on the door said that his timing was a little off. Tim got up to go answer it. Jason stood there and he frowned as he looked Tim over.

“That’s your clothes from yesterday.”

“I’ve got to change,” Tim said, letting him in. You came out of the room with a sweater over your clothes and smiled at Jason who nodded his head at you. Tim went in the bedroom to change.

“Hey,” you whispered, barely audible. Jason looked at you confused. You hadn’t really interacted much before. “Watch out for him. He’s not okay. Alright?”

Jadon just nodded. “Anything I should know?”

“No. Not really. He scared me last night,” you admitted as you put on a pot of coffee. Jason gave you a look that clearly read ‘do I need to kick his ass?’

“What did he do?”

“He just stood on the roof edge. I thought- I thought he was going to jump,” you whispered and Jason’s face dropped. Tim hadn’t exactly had the most self preservation in his history.

“Shit, seriously?” He said with a sigh. You nodded.

“But he just seemed confused when I found him. I’m worried. Just watch out for him, okay?” You said.

“What are you two talking about?” Tim said walking in the room, throwing on a tie.

“Really? A full suit?” Jason said rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, one of us needs to look like a functional adult in case someone stops by. I can’t exactly wear sweats everywhere as WE’s CEO,” Tim said. You straightened the tie and collar.

“... and then there is you,” Tim said looking at Jason after you were done. “You look like you tattoo out of the back parking lot of a Denny’s.”

“Maybe I do,” he said dryly with a little curl to his lip. “Come on. We don’t want to be late.”

Tim nodded and gave you a kiss and Jason groaned by the door. He gave the ‘come on’ hand gesture. Tim rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know when I’m going to be back. See you later.”

“Bye.”

Half ways down the highway, with Tim as a captive audience, Jason starts to talk.

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Cut the shit. For real,” Jason said, violently passing a slow car on the highway in his truck. Tim grips the dash and is sure he’s going to die.

“I’m fine. Why do you think I’m lying?” Tim said through gritted teeth. Jason keeps driving roughly.

“Well, your girlfriend thought you were going to kill yourself last night and that isn’t exactly the first thought I’d have if I saw you on the roof. So either she’s being dramatic or you’re acting really off. Which is it, Timbo?” Jason said. Tim never missed Dick more. Jason had the subtly of a butter knife to the gut.

“I might be a little sadder, sure. I mean, my brother died,” Tim said. “Can you drive without trying to kill us?”

“I’m driving fine. Go on,” Jason said, crossing 3 lanes. The squeals of car horns behind them tell Tim he isn’t the only one that doesn’t like his driving.

“I’m gonna die in this car,” Tim muttered. Jason glared at him. “Watch the road! Okay. Fine. I feel numb. Okay? Like I don’t feel happy or sad about anything. And I’m fucking guilty because I should be over the moon because I just moved in with my girlfriend and then...”

“Then your brother died. It’s normal to feel like shit Tim. But to be numb.... you ever think you’re depressed?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know. I have anxiety,” Tim answered.

“You can have both. Is it this exit or the next?” Jason asked two second before the ramp comes up.

“This!” Tim yelped and Jason turned them off to a side road going at least 70 mph. Tim held the dash and considered praying despite being an atheist. Jason finally slowed down enough to not look like he’s driving a getaway car.

“I think you should see a therapist. I can give you mine’s number,” Jason said and Tim quickly turned to look at him.

“I didn’t know you went to therapy.”

“I was tortured, beat to death, and had to dig myself out of my own coffin. Does that seem mentally okay in anyway?”

“I mean, no. But I don’t know,” Tim said with a shrug. He just hadn’t thought about it.

“Anyways that’s not the point. The point is that she’s used to Gotham’s brand of bullshit and will help you. Okay?” Jason said driving into a parking lot and skidding into a space. “If you scare your girl like that again, I’ll knock you out.”

“Yeah. I won’t scare her again. It was an accident. And I’ll talk to your therapist,” Tim agreed. Jason nodded.

“Let’s go do something I’ve been dreading all week. Clean out golden boy’s apartment,” he said with a grimace. And they did. Anything of value was personally taken by the pair. Anything of Nightwing or Robin. Any Flying Grayson stuff. Anything that his brothers had gotten him. A moving service was moving the rest to a storage unit later that day.

Jason sat on the concrete steps outside the apartment and tossed Tim a beer. Tim barely caught it before sitting down himself. Jason pulled out his own.

“Jason, I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars to not drink that before we leave. Can we have this moment at the manor after we survive the drive home?” Tim asked and Jason sighed.

“Sure kid. Dickhead wouldn’t have liked me getting you drunk anyways. Let’s get this stuff back,” Jason said and they both went to the truck.

After dropping off the stuff and talking to Alfred, Tim and Jason were back in the truck. The beers were mercifully forgotten. Jason passed him a paper with a name and number.

“My therapist. You better call them. If not for you, for your girlfriend. You can just talk and shit,” he said not looking off the road. Jason knew better than to think that this kind of thing could be done for someone else. But he also knew it probably only took a tiny push for Tim to get help.

“Yeah, thanks.”

A few hours later Tim sat on his bed with his phone in hand. Yeah, he needed to call them.

[obeiii-mee]

Hi there! Im back, tysm for doing my HC ;;/ it was super cute, i really liked Mammons and Satans!! If you dont mind if i ask for another? Hdjsks Recently, i slipped while walking home with some pals and scrapped my knee. It wasnt too bad, but it sure looked bad lmao If you can could you do HCs for the boys reacting to MC slipping and scrapping there knee while walking w them? Im sure Mammon would have a heart attack hfjd Tysm!! Keep up the good work♡

Thank you so much! I hope your knee gets better and that it wasn’t too painful! The brothers would all be panicking in their own way but I agree, Mammon would faint or something lmao.

Hope this was OK.

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who fell and scraped their knee:

Lucifer:

-It was a miracle you managed to convince him to come out on a walk with you at all

-The man doesn’t know when to take a break from his work

-He’s more likely to accept if it’s you asking tho, he has an obvious soft spot for you

-The others call him a suck up behind his back because of it

-You were so happy that you managed to pry Lucifer away from his desk, you were basically skipping alongside him

-Long story short, you tripped over your own two feet and fell

-Luckily, your knees and palms were the only things that got a bit scruffy

-Well, actually your right knee looked as if someone tried removing your entire knee cap with a scalpel, skin and all but adrenaline was kicking in and you couldn’t feel much

-You’ve never seen Lucifer freeze the way he did then

-His mind just drew a blank

-You were about to shrug it off and call it a day, get up and continue your walk but daddy Lucifer can’t have that

-He has six younger brothers (and a younger sister at some point) he is pretty experienced when it comes to treating injuries

-You aren’t walking for the rest of the day, let me make this clear

-He will carry you back to the House of Lamentation no matter how much you protest

-In case it wasn’t obvious already, Lucifer gives off massive dad vibes and now he’s bandaging your leg while you’re laying down on his bed

-While the rest of the brothers watch the two of you from behind the door frame because they are all equally worried

-Get ready for the three hour lecture coming your way

-He’s pissed and amused at the same time tbh

-Silly human, falling over like that and hurting themselves

-Lord Diavolo forbid you try to get out of that bed, he will drag you back and make sure you stay there until your knee is better (kinky)

Mammon:

-He was on his merry way to the casino to blow off all of Lucifer’s money and you tagged along solely for the purpose of making sure he didn’t spend all of Lucifer’s money

-You’d both be done for if he did

-But I guess fate really had it out for you on that day since your foot slipped on....something and you tripped

-Both of your knees looked bloody and damaged as hell but you were more irritated than anything

-Mammon on the other hand did a fucking double take and almost passed out

-He screeched his lungs out

-One look at your injured knees and he was ready to drag you all the way to the human realm on foot to find you a doctor

-“MC ARE YOU OK WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SO MUCH BLOO-HOLY SHIT STAY STILL DON’T MOVE! THE GREAT MAMMON WILL FIX THIS...SOMEHOW.”

-It was very dramatic, he cried

-You stood up to prove that you were alright because you thought he was going to have a seizure soon enough

-OK, that helped him calm down a little

-At least now he knew your legs weren’t about to get torn off and you weren’t on the verge of death

-Fuck the casino, you were going home

-Like Lucifer, don’t expect you will walk home by yourself

-He will carry you, a bit embarrassed by his initial freak out but still eyeing your wound, concerned

-As soon as you get home and the other brothers help you out because he’s shit at bandaging, he just sits in his own pool of misery and guilt

-Your poor knees wouldn’t be so jacked up if you hadn’t come along with him today

-He was so determined to make it up to you, he stayed by your bedside like a loyal puppy with a wagging tail (flashback to the animal event)

-Overall, he almost went into cardiac arrest and was too panicked to realise you were fine

-You thought he was smothering and overprotective before? Good luck for the rest of the week

Levi:

-“See, this is why I don’t like going out. There’s always some normie laying on the groun- OH MY LORD DIAVOLO, MC IS THAT YOU?? ARE YOU OK?”

-HIS HENRY ALMOST DIED ON THE NEWLY POLISHED FLOOR OF AN ANIME CONVENTION, HE HAS VERY MIXED EMOTIONS

-You fell knees first and hurt them quiet badly but you could stand, even if the pain made you twitch a little

-This confused Levi because you looked fine even though your knees certainly didn’t

-You told him you felt alright and it wasn’t that big of a deal and he absolutely rolled with it

-But you guys still went home after that

-He said it was because you bled all over your cosplay but that’s just him being a tsundere

-Levi is usually very shy when it comes to physical contact but he firmly insisted that he help you walk home

-I mean, he knows you said you were feeling OK and maybe humans just have a lot of tolerance for injuries like that

-But he still felt it was necessary that he took you home and checked out your injuries

-He kept the mood light while disinfecting you’re wound with some help from Satan by talking about how the convention went

-High low-key relieved seeing you walk around like normal two minutes after that

-He started bitching to you about how you made him miss his the event but he didn’t mean any of it

-“Stupid normie, making me miss my favourite Ruri-chan event. You’re lucky I love you and think you’re cute....did I just say that out loud??”

Satan:

-Oh dear, why would you go out for a walk in the middle of a rainstorm? What were you thinking?

-Actually, it was Satan’s idea

-He may be a demon and the prince of Wrath no less, but he is such a sappy, cheesy bastard at times

-He definitely thinks that walking and kissing in the rain is very romantic (bet he read something like that in an erotica)

-You know what’s not romantic blondie? Slipping on a very small puddle and potentially fracturing your leg

-It was just a scraped knee but you were frustrated enough to be extra

-He’s helping you up before you even have the chance to realise you fell in the first place

-Your knee was looking pretty bad so you guys went home just to avoid any further casualties

-He’s actually chuckling all the way back while you playfully glare at him because how dare he laugh at your misery?

-Date night was ruined but at least he got to take care of you

-He knew your knee must have hurt and he felt bad but he couldn’t help but giggle a bit to himself because your fall was so comical

-Ah but he does enjoy fussing over you for the rest of the night a bit too much

Asmo:

-You thought Mammon was melodramatic?

-Take a look at this fucking guy

-He actually screeches even louder than his brother and probably falls to his knees too (but not really because those pants were expensive)

-His screams definitely got the attention of at least 10 random passerbyers

-He’s actually on the verge of crying

-I mean, can you blame him?? Look at your beautiful knees!! They were ruined

-He felt so bad for you, he actually babied the hell out of you that day

-“Asmo, it’s fine. It’s just a scrap.”

-“A SCRAP, MC IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR KNEE IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF YOUR POOR SKIN-“

-It was just a scrap but Asmo’s secret talent is being extra as fuck

-He totally spilled all the tea to the rest of the brothers when he got home

-And then he ushered you into his room

-Funnily enough, he’s pretty good with injuries. Not as much as Satan and Lucifer but still

-He pampered you for the next few hours but that image of your skin being all grazed like that will forever haunt him

-How can you not be so bothered by it?? He’d die if he was in your place

-I love Asmo just because of how dramatic he is

Beel:

-Your shoelaces were undone and of course that meant a fun little trip to the floor of Hell’s Kitchen

-Beel didn’t notice you fell at first, he was concentrating on his food and assumed you were next to him

-But then he realised that you weren’t and for a moment he thought you disappeared or something

-Before he turned to find you laying on the floor, curled up because life was pain and you were suffering

-“Are you OK? Or are you just tired? Belphie does that a lot when he’s tired.” Or depressed one might say

-But for real, he’s good at identifying serious wounds and less serious wounds since he’s an athlete

-He can tell your knees were bleeding way more than they should have from just a simple scrap

-He slinged you over his shoulder and carried you, calmly, back home, with a burger still in his hand

-He’s actually really collective and talked to you while cleaning up your injury to take your mind off the pain

-He knows humans are a little more fragile than demons so even though he knows it’s not a big deal, he can’t help but worry

-It’s kinda hard falling around him tho because chances are, he will actually catch you even if he happens to hold something

-He’s sad if you’re sad so please don’t cry he will bandage your scraped knee do you want the last bit of his burger to make you feel better?

-Comfort hugs afterwards!

-Which is awesome because Beel gives out best hugs :)

Belphie:

-Ah yes, another beautiful day at RAD

-Walking alongside with your grumpy and sleepy boyfriend when a random demon bumps into you

-Wel not bumps, more like shoves you so hard you fall down and tear the fabric of your pants

-While the dude shrugs it off and speeds away

-You were a bit pissed off because rude

-But Belphie was fucking fuming

-He felt so offended on your part

-I mean, the nerve of him

-He was tired as shit but he wanted to chase after him and throw hands, possibly fill his pillow with rocks and hit him over the head with it

-He forced himself to focus on you first before hunting the moron down

-He was a bit concerned when he didn’t see you come back up after you fell

-Turns out, you scraped your knee pretty horribly and now you were bleeding all over the floor

-He’s even more quiet than usual as he helps you up and half carries you to your next class

-He starts taking care of your knee in the middle of DevilDom history he doesn’t give a flying fuck

-He’s still furious by the time he gets home and most of his brothers know to leave him be when he makes that scary ass face

-No talk to him

-He angy

-“Does your knee still hurt?”

-“A bit but it’s not-“

-“Come nap with me.”

-“Why?”

-“Naps shall cure your pain.”

-“...”

-“Nah but for real come take a nap with me.”

-Next day at school, the dude from yesterday walks by him and Belphie smashes his head against the wall

-Before walking away as if nothing happened

-I stan protective Belphie

These HCs are really bad but I love them anyway

Al~

[cicissketchbook]

Y’all wanna read my Apritello story?

So sometimes when my artistic drive is down, the writing bug will come bite me. I’ve been working on an Apritello story for awhile that currently has three chapters that are up on my Patreon. Eventually I’ll post it publicly, but I want my patrons to have early access. Anyway here’s an excerpt from the first chapter.

It’s kind of angsty.

The summary is, April invites Donnie to join her for a long weekend at the farmhouse, which sounds romantic until you consider that she’s been plagued with visions of his accidental death and is desperate to stop it from happening.

To say there was tension in the air was a drastic understatement. Truthfully, things had been tense for a while. Blame it on cabin fever, or perhaps they were outgrowing their sewer lair, but the brothers had been quick to jump down each other’s throats. 

Leo was especially on edge, and not unlike how it had been since they were kids, his mood had set the tone for everyone else. One thing that differed from childhood though, was that he had been butting heads with Donnie, while Raph remained a mostly neutral third party. 

There was the knowledge that they were getting older and they all had desires to get out there and live their own lives, and then the realization that doing so wasn’t really possible for them in the world they lived in. They wanted what any young adults would want, but they were mutants.  The world still saw them as freaks. They couldn’t lead normal lives the way they wanted to. They knew this, they had known this all their lives. They had all been on the same page about it. They realized that living their lives in the sewer, at least most of it, was probably in the cards. April had always contested this idea, believing that the world would accept them in time. It’s not like people didn’t know mutants existed, but the turtles weren’t willing to take the risk. It’s not like they couldn’t go out and do things like they always had, but leaving the nest for good just wasn’t feasible. And they were content with this. The sewer was all they’d ever known. They’d always been together and they were happy to always be together. 

But like all families, arguments were inevitable. Familiarity breeds contempt, after all. And they were accustom to bickering. But… it was different now. Leo seemed ready to explode at the drop of a pen, Raph never seemed to be able to find enough alone time, Donnie felt like he brought more to the table than the other three combined, and Mikey… sweet Mikey was such an incurable optimist that he sought to find the positive in every situation, but they knew he did this to mask his depression.  

If asked what they were arguing about today, the simple answer would be that they were all just getting on each other’s nerves. Donnie couldn’t even remember how the argument started because they fought about trivial things so frequently, but he remembered the thing that Leo said that set him off.

“God, why is it so hard for you to just do your part? Why do we have to pick up your slack?”

Donnie was silent for a moment, almost unsure he’d heard correctly. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, you never fucking help out with anything!” Leo’s tone implied that there was something else he was upset about that he wasn’t speaking of. 

Donnie, by his best effort, kept his voice calm and composed. “I’m sorry, are you referring to three days ago when I didn’t help clean up the disaster in the kitchen because I was literally putting the microwave back together? Or perhaps last week when you left a mess for me to clean up that you all made while I wasn’t even here? And then you got mad when I didn’t?”

Leo seemed to get more aggravated at the mention of Donnie not being there, but continued on. “C’mon man, there are four of us that live here, it’s really not asking too much for everyone to help clean up around here.” 

“Dude, I clean up after myself more than anyone. The difference is, when I make a mess, it’s in my lab rather than communal space and-“

“Oh, right, I forgot. The huge space you have that’s your’s. That none of us have.” Leo turned to their other brothers who sat near by. “Hey Raph, other than your tiny bedroom, do you have your own creative space that you can do whatever you want in? Mikey, how about you?”

Raph hadn’t spoken, but seemed invested in the exchange his brothers were having. It was impossible to tell who’s side he was on. Before Mikey could speak, Raph stopped him and said firmly, “Leave us out of this, man.”

“So now your mad at me… because of my lab?”

Leo paused, not making eye contact, before he huffed. “No.” He admitted quietly.

Normally, Donnie was used to these arguments making little or no sense, but Leo seemed genuinely angry and he couldn’t understand why. 

“Bro, what is up?” He demanded. “Why are you actually so upset?”

“I just…” Leo started. Donnie could tell there was something he didn’t want to say. Leo crossed his arms and turned away from his brother. “I just want to know… where your priorities are.”

“My priorities?” Donnie was trying not to lose his patience. He had no idea where this was coming from nor where it was going. Which meant one of two things. Either there was something his brother wasn’t telling him, or this was in fact going no where. Like, this had started out a fight about cleaning duties, and now he’s talking about priorities. If Leo did have a point, he wanted him to hurry up and make it because this argument seemed like a waste of time.

“It just…” Leo blew another huff through his nose. “It just seems like… you are… distancing yourself from us, Donnie.”

This statement completely threw Don for a loop. He hadn’t expected that at all. “What in the world are you talking about?” He asked, truly bewildered by the turn in conversation. “Because I don’t want to clean up messes that aren’t mine? Like what the hell-?”

“No, obviously it’s not that. It’s alot of things.” Leo spoke quieter now, not as impassioned. 

“Well, I would love to know what those things are, because I am completely lost here.”

“You never want to hang out with us anymore, and when you do, you act like you’d rather be doing anything else-“

Donnie cut him off with a humorless chuckle. “We’re brothers, we all get on each other’s nerves.” 

“And I get that, but we do all still live together and we all need to contribute to the household chores, and you’ve just been acting like you are so far above doing any type of housework that doesn’t directly effect you.”

“Well, excuse me Leo, sorry if when it rains and the power get knocked out and I have to go topside by myself in the cold pouring rain to fix the power line, I don’t also want to have to mop up the leak in the kitchen when none of you did anything to help!”

“Okay, you keep bring up specific instances, but I’m talking about in general-“

“No, you’re talking alot of nonsense is what you’re doing!” Donnie’s lack of patience was starting to show. “First you’re mad that you think I don’t clean enough, then you’re mad that I have a lab and you don’t? Then you say I’m distancing myself from you all…?” Donnie stood and made a move like he was going to walk away. “If you have something to say, Leo, you better just say it because this whole conversation seems like a waste of time to me. It’s late and I’m tired, so make your point, or I’m going to bed.”

“Are you distancing yourself from us because of April?”

Donnie had already started walking away, as he didn’t expect Leo to actually have a point, so he was halted to a standstill at his words. “What does she have to do with anything?”

Leo looked away again, like he didn’t actually want to have this conversation. After a moment, he sighed and continued without making eye contact. “It just seems like… I mean… I thought we were all on the same page here. We’ve had this discussion, a long time ago. We aren’t…. Human. We’re getting older and it makes sense that we’d want to start living our own lives, but… we can’t. Not really. The world doesn’t accept us, so staying down here is just how it has to be. I thought we had agreed on that. That no matter what the world thought of us, no matter that we can’t lead normal lives, at least we all had each other. But… now it seems like you have other plans, Donnie.”

He finally looked at his brother and Donnie could see the emotions in his eyes. Nothing of what he said had been new information, of course. Donnie knew, painfully well, that the world saw them as freaks and being “normal” was not a luxury they’d ever be able to have. Alot of their friends were at the point where they were starting to branch off, which didn’t help. Karai and Shinigami were currently back in Japan. It was just a visit, but the kind of visit that lasted for a month or two. Casey had gotten a hockey scholarship for a different school than the one April attended. He was trying to go pro, so he poured all his time and attention into practicing. He still came around, but not like he used to. Mona Lisa had left Earth awhile ago, also with promise to return, but they hadn’t heard from her in a few weeks. They were sure it was just a new mission she had, but that didn’t make Raph feel any better. April was the only one who still came around all the time. With most of their enemies gone, everyone was moving on and it felt like the world didn’t need them anymore. 

The pain in Leo’s voice would’ve normal made Donnie want to hug him, but it was the accusation that he couldn’t get over.

“Leo…” He gestured non threateningly with his hands. “Why are you acting like I’m not literally living down here in the sewers right along with you? And I still don’t see what April has to do with anything-” 

“Okay, I’m going to jump in here.” Raph said unexpectedly. “Look, Dude, I know we don’t… we don’t say it enough but… we would be up schitts creek without a paddle without you.” He crossed the room to give Leo a lighthearted punch in the arm. “Wouldn’t we, Leo?”

“…Yeah.”

“So because of that, the idea of you leaving is…. It’s scary.” Raph admitted. He was going to say something else, but Donnie interrupted.

“I’m not going anywhere! What in the actually hell are you guys talking about?!”

Leo rolled his eyes, apparently getting annoyed again. “Don, can we please stop pretending like you’re not going to marry April and then move in with her?”

Donnie froze. To say they touched a nerve was an understatement. April was his best friend, but truthfully, it was very painful to be her friend sometimes. His feelings for her were still just as intense as ever, but for different reason now. In his youth, he’d maintained a kind of innocent hopefulness that they would someday be together, and he never even really thought of the details of how. He knew, even back then, that it wasn’t that simple and when he really thought about it, nothing about it made sense. Which is why he didn’t think about it. Now though, after some soul searching and dropping into a deep depression which he was starting to get better from, he’d resigned himself to the reality that she would never be with him. He’d accepted it, and told himself that it was enough to just be her friend. But the truth was, that pain never went away.  They had such a close friendship, they had developed such a level of comfort with each other, but he knew it would never be enough. The idea of never seeing her again was unbearable, but to be so close to her, knowing that it was as close as he would ever get… it was torture. He didn’t care though, he just couldn’t let her go.

What really hurt was when she would talk about the next stage in her life. She was in school now, but with her grades and what she was studying, she could go anywhere. She wanted to travel, she spoke of it often. She never made any committal remarks about moving away, other than when she talked about the farmhouse and saying how expensive it is to live in the city. Her dad had signed the property over to her for tax reasons, and she would’ve inherited it anyway. She wanted to renovate it.

He was only vaguely aware that Raph and Leo were still talking.

“It’s not like we’re mad at you for finding love, that’s not it at all!” Raph was saying, obviously more concerned than Leo about ruffling his brother’s feathers. “It’s just, we need to be realistic about what would happen if you weren’t here.”

“Yeah, and the reality is, frankly, I think we all feel left behind by our friends, but we didn’t think  our clan would be breaking up as well!” Leo threw his hands up, finally letting his true feelings out. “I mean, all we have is each other, we’re the last of the Hamato clan! I can’t let this clan die, I just can’t.”

“Why do you guys feel the need to do that?” 

They stopped, taken aback by how low and serious Donnie’s voice was. He was done barking, he looked ready to bite. 

“Do what?”

Donnie’s chest felt tight and he had to taken in a sharp breath through his nose to keep his cool. “Why do you guys feel the need to not only remind me of my unrequited feelings for my… our  best friend… but now, you’re holding it against me?”

Raph looked concerned at first, but then sighed. “Donnie, c’mon, don’t act like you wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to get out of here. April isn’t going to stay in New York forever.” 

The statement, while probably true, hurt to hear. “What does that have to do with me?” He said, quieter this time. “I can’t help what April does.”  

“Dude, she is literally planning her future with you in it. Have you not noticed that?” Leo nearly screamed. “You have the opportunity to get out of here and do something with your life, and we’ll be-“

“No she’s not!” Donnie shouted back. “Are you guys smoking crack or something? Don’t say that shit to me! April doesn’t…” He paused, his words getting caught in his throat. “April doesn’t want me. I thought we’d been over this.”

Mikey, who hadn’t yet spoke, immediately picked up on how much pain Donnie was in. “Hey guys, let’s just drop it, yeah?”

Leo pressed on as if his youngest brother hadn’t spoken. “Maybe she didn’t five years ago, but she sure as shit does now.” He didn’t seem bothered by Donnie visible cringe. “I mean, dude, you’ve spent the night, alone at her house.”

“So has Mikey. And Raph once, I think.” Donnie said quietly, and Raph nodded in confirmation. “And she’s spent the night here a billion times, that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Mikey and Raph didn’t sleep in her bed.” Leo said accusingly. 

“I did.”  

They all paused and turned to the youngest brother. Raph spoke. “You did?”

“Every time I go over there, I sleep in her bed.” Mikey said matter-o-factly. “Whenever… whenever I’m sad, she let’s me come over and… she’ll listen. She doesn’t try to offer solutions, she doesn’t try and tell me things to make me feel better, she just… listens. And that’s what helps me the most. Then we watch funny videos.”

None of them commented at first. They all knew Mikey struggled with depression, but he rarely, if ever, talked about it. They all had told him at some point that they were there if he needed to talk, but he never came to any of them. One might of thought that hearing that his brother shared a bed with April might make Donnie jealous, but quite the opposite, it made him very happy and appreciative to hear about it. It made sense that Mikey would be more comfortable talking to April than to any of them, and to know that she had been there for him was comforting. Donnie wanted that for his brother. 

“See?” He said finally, more to Leo than anyone else. “April… she’s there for all of us. She cares about all of us… I’m not special.”

“Donnie, don’t say that.” Mikey offered and rose from his seat to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Donnie placed his own hand over Mikey’s and squeezed it, staring at the floor.  “She cares about you the most. More than you know.”

“Mikey, please, please don’t.” He said through his teeth. “I can’t… I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation right now. You know how long it took me to accept the fact that I was kidding myself by thinking there could ever be something between us? Of course you guys know, which is why it is so baffling to me that you feel the need to do this.” 

“So if April wanted you to move away with her, you wouldn’t do it?” 

Raph punched Leo in the arm again. It was a strange thing, to see Raph scold Leo for being insensitive. Donnie had had enough though.

“I’m out of here.” He turned on his heel and heading towards the turnstiles. 

...............

Yes, it’s NSFW, of course it is.