#the only reason why I'm making this meme is because there's no way she's gonna die

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

Aya, you better survive this or else

[ID: A Norman Osborn from the 2002 Spider-Man meme. Instead of Norman there’s Aya. The text reads “You know I’m something of a warrior of justice”. End ID]

[lakesbian]

💝 for Rachel (for the ask meme)

💝 A headcanon about their love language

yeah these are def just shaping up to be analysis of canon vs. headcanons for most of 'em because we already have interesting canon answers for a lot of these questions but that's ok because that's fun too. this is gonna be a bit messy bc i'm real tired but anyway:

the long and short of it is that she's a dog. she loves like a dog. and i love how that behavior interacts w/ the specific way taylor is fucked up. it is So meaningful and compelling. taylor is for the most part absolutely incapable of admitting or even noticing when something has hurt her, let alone reaching out for support. she's very similar to brian in the sense that people verbally acknowledging that she's upset (generally synonymous with 'weak' in her mind) is intolerable to her, because ignoring and repressing that emotion is critical to her ability to force herself to stay standing & push herself thru the agony to achieve what she wants to achieve. there's this moment during the echidna fight where she sees wards verbally checking in w/ each other and she thinks that she's glad that her team would never ask if she's okay because she wouldn't be able to stop from breaking down if they did.

and the thing abt rachel's love language is that she's Direct About Everything All Of The Time Forever because she doesn't know how not to be. but it's not in a "asking if someone is okay" way, because even that is a level of indirectness, of giving someone the option to say "yes" and reject comfort! she instead directly notices when taylor isn't okay, and moves straight to offering comfort without forcing taylor to experience the weakness of admitting that she needs it. she's not great with words--she frequently feels frustrated by not knowing how to communicate what she wants to communicate--so instead she shows love through simple, blatant acts of physical affection, devotion, and trust. she's the equivalent of a big ole dog that just silently huffs and climbs into your lap when you're sad, and you can't do a damn thing about it because you're getting cuddled now and that's just how it is. she doesn't force taylor to acknowledge the situation to her, she simply notices when taylor needs a hand to hold and very firmly grabs taylor's hand. she's silently, unobtrusively understanding. she sees things as they are, and responds not with social niceties, but with firm and direct kindness. if you start crying while she's sitting next to you, she won't make a big deal out of it, she'll just keep sitting next to you. and that's exactly what taylor needs--affection and comfort sans expectations for her to have any sort of coherent explanation or conduct.

the devotion & trust is also Sooo. auugh. ough. when taylor turns herself into the PRT and she's unquestionably faithful that taylor has a plan, regards everyone else like they're idiots for having even the slightest sliver of doubt in her. during gold morning, when she willingly steps into taylor's field of control, saying that taylor is smart & to let her do what she needs to do. there's this moment during the behemoth fight that i think a lot about where rachel says "you have a plan" in response to taylor, y'know, having a plan, and taylor sort of confusedly reads it as smug & then satisfied without really grasping why. and the reason why is that rachel has put up with so much social bullshit she doesn't understand--the way the undersiders interact w/ her, coil, the prt--and taylor, without fail, has made things make sense. she's the only undersider to successfully speak to rachel on terms she fully understands, the one to kill coil, the one who soundly trounces the heroes every time. whenever things are confusing or scary or nonsensical, taylor, smart and strong taylor, fixes them with her plans. the earth is cracking and coming apart around them, because There's A Fucking Kaiju, but it's okay, because taylor is there, and rachel knows taylor will always make sure things turn out alright. genuinely doglike levels of unquestionable devotion, where there are ways she understands taylor more intimately than anyone else on the planet, and there are ways she can never understand taylor, but she still unquestionably trusts her enough to place her life in her hands. taylor even remarks that rachel trusts her too much when she steps into her radius during gold morning--and the reason that rachel trusts her too much is because she trusts like a dog trusts their person. i've seen ppl say that taylor is rachel's dog, but no, rachel is 100% taylor's dog. she loves that girl like a dog would. it rocks. autism forever.

[terraco-07]

HSBC direction and character writing

So the team has released the writer's commentary early to the public most likely because they know how inflammatory the last update is/has been and wanted to get the reasoning behind it out there. Going to be going through it piece by piece here. Disclaimer: None of my opinions and thoughts are directed at the people as individuals and any criticism is directed at the writing itself. With that said, lets start off. Haven saying “this is the update where we’re gonna see if people are really rockin’ with us or not.” Lmao yep and I can assure you that I'm not one of them. I think we're seeing the end results though of a years bleeding fandom here though. Most people who enjoyed Homestuck either didn't read the epilogues or HS2 because they knew it was something they wouldn't like and didn't care for the direction of taking away the kids victory and giving them some new battle to fight while hurting each character. Those remaining are primarily people who are curious, neutral, or liked the official releases after Homestuck ended. Among them I'm sure a fair amount have liked this because this is already a work catered to them and what they want for better or worse. Anyways, moving on. So the next part just goes over everyone liking Yiffy and her getting a voice and all that, not much to comment on here. Which is a non issue except still making Rose and Jade call their kid a type of porn and keeping that was such a choice, but hey silly candy timeline right? Okay moving on to the conversation that matters. Okay starting with Floral: "Kanaya has long earned this confrontation and she’s not going to accept anything less than the truth." JAMES: This is the funniest line in Homestuck. This is so fucking funny because she gets cut off half way through and then the you fucked my wife being memed to hell in back both took any bite out of it and visibly made me cringe to read. Kanaya is mad here but there are other ways to write it. Would have loved to see a rant about "If you loved me so much Jade why would you betray my trust? Why would you not speak to me. Now you choose to spit in my face like this?" Etc etc. I may genuinely re-write every Kanaya part in this log at some point. I did do an alt version already but that's neither here nor there. Compliments for the art which deserve it! BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP GOING "Pretty art" AND EXCUSE BAD WRITING. I've had to read "I'm just using it as a picture book" and "I skipped through the logs" way too fucking much. JAMES: This one was for the sapphics. The most important demographic that exists. ... saying this while obliterating the biggest endgame sapphic romance? But hey guys!! Kanaya's hot right? This makes it all better :) Especially considering compared to Homestuck proper the epilogues and HS2 have just felt actively hostile towards sapphics FLORAL: This scene is also only one small part of the larger puzzle, bridging between what already existed in HS2 to what we want to do deeper into HS:BC. A puzzle that most of us aren't going to want to figure out. The question of if something is bad for the first 500-1000 pages is it worth consuming will always be no. Also points of expanding the border of Homestuck 1 BUT WE NEVER GET TO SEE THIS. I'm going to hit more on this later but Rose specifically there's so little or no direct foundational build up to her current character choices.

MILES: Yeah, seriously.  I felt viscerally going in that it was really important that Kanaya get some time to just be a stone cold bitch, both in the context of this particular marital fuck-up and in general.  She deserves it. So I'm on my hands and knees begging you guys to learn how to write badass powerful women that doesn't involve them just getting angry because their wife cheated. Hands and fucking knees. This goes for any writing in general but if you have to develop a character through purely negative experiences I'm not sure you should be writing. This whole entire scenario with Rosemary is such a cheap drama soap opera point to begin with (like a lot of HS2). Why can't we let Kanaya be her own fucking person and have shit going on, do something in the war, get to have moments like this in relation to Jane.

FLORAL:  Was so excited for this panel when we were first outlining the update. I had a lot of feelings about how we should move forward from the initial Yiffy reveal, but justification for these narrative choices only matter inside of the text itself, and this is only a tip of a much larger iceberg.

That said, what has always appealed to me the most about Candy in Beyond Canon is that it’s an opportunity to explore alt. selves to the max and start finding the missing “Meat” to Candy’s unbalanced and unsatisfying narrative. The irony for me on this is it was written about the fucking Jojo ass posing Rose which is in my opinion the worst panel in the update. Rose being turned into a comical villain for the sole reason of shaking things up in Candy. Justifications in the text is a great way of putting it and before this we had very very little. The idea of telling us afterwards well it was all apart of the grand plan when barely any time ago we have Rose thanking John for how happy she was to have her life the way it is here. Rose suddenly going ahh apathy my true love and going from a loveable and complex character to this flat cardboard cut out is the biggest crime of this update. The I knew you would forgive me part too. Just. GIRL HOW?? Rose Lalonde who first lost her seer powers in Candy, second the same girl who couldn't even see her friends all dying and her failing in game over. This girl? She saw 15 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE and knew Kanaya would just get it. Roll over like a good wife and be okay. I didn't know she was a seer of time now? This is the worst line in the entire update simply because it implies that Rose has gone off the deep end in the least interesting way and is now an unreliable narrator or that Kanaya is actually going to forgive her and holy fuck that would be the actual worst way to take this. Not beating the NTR kink allegations HS2 writers. Also spoiler alert it's unsatisfying because everyone in it gets fucked over by writing choices as baseless and useless as these. You're perpetuating the problem.

HAVEN: The world hasn't felt real to Rose since she was 16, this life is like a game to her. For her, a war is just “something to do.” Also man while this was a route that I didn't like for the epilogues either there are so many other ways to handle this than the one chosen. But that would require a rewrite from the start of HS2 which already put on this shit show. I still wholeheartedly believe that none of the things listed here justify Rose's behavior to Kanaya. As the one anchor point she's had her entire adult life. FLORAL: It’s a little sad that even during a Rosemary moment, it's never really about Rosemary, huh? Then later- "There really needed to be a joke here, too, to sell the emotional drop the next page brings" Kettle, meet pot. Whatever could be the cause for nothing ever being about them and the pair being relegated to background bullshit? Who's to say indeed. But hey! They're at the forefront now, and only for the most basic and cheap drama ways. Also I loathe this mentality about there needing to be a joke. You're clearly writing this for adults at this point a joke isn't required a real look at the situation is. The gag at the end where the convo gets ended is enough to break the tension for the reader.

FLORAL: There’s catalyst events, sure, but ask a few questions and it becomes apparent everything rides on the history of smaller fights, disappointment, sweeped away passive aggressions, miscommunication and unsaid hurt feelings.

This is why writing characters in their 40’s is great and why there is so much to do in Candy. Behind all the patented Homestuck misdirection and narrative unreliability, you’re left with an offshoot full of alternate selves at their lowest, layered in apathy and evidently not saying what they think Once again we aren't shown this. We just get told about it later and that's incredibly unsatisfying as a reader. Explaining it further down the line and doing more justification later does not help this either. I think also the idea that everyone in their middle aged years is jaded and apathetic is such a lame ass direction to go in. The idea that no one is allowed to be happy after everything they went through in the game is still one of the most frustrating things. I'm asking anyone why would someone want to read that? Why do you think the fandom imploded after this and that the people left mostly enjoy either soap opera trauma or torture porn (which HS2 is both)

like sitting down with a highschool friend you lost touch with 20 years ago and have only known about through concerning Facebook posts. So we're fully aware of the problem and just going this is a feature. Got it. So the commentary ends there and I'm just kind of left feeling as hollow and empty as before. I have zero faith that we can dig into any of these characters in a meaningful way but especially the more complicated women. This reads as coming back to them 20 years later so we can write them how we want or how we envisioned them without having to come up with in text validation. Reminds me of late season Game of Thrones writing. Guys how we got here is important. Anyways in summary HS2 remains a dour, unfun read of characters going through a perpetual state of torture and emotional suffering while we forever get told "Wait but there's more!" But hey. Happy Rosemary, glad they won that poll. Maybe the little thing James is going to do for the fandom is just kill them off to save them from this torment. As a writer myself it's just painful to read and I want to re-write it all times

[guilty-gear-hot-take-hellhole]

Ya know, I was procrastinating on reviving this old blog instead of lurking through Tumblr for a while, and I can’t believe that Bridget discourse pushed me to do it. VERY long rant ahead because boy do I have some opinions.

The other day I saw a tweet (I don't remember where) saying how glad they were that a queer character was getting a bunch of spotlight in regards to the new Bridget figure; then after that I IMMEDIATELY saw someone punching down on people asking for other characters and bringing up Anji specifically, and it's like holy shit, either you're genuinely ignorant or an idiot.

There are 3 other canon queer in Guilty Gear, yet people only want to focus on Bridget, and I could honestly go on about it.

Testament obviously suffers the least from this, but it’s still noteworthy how people will ignore them being queer since 1998, and before anyone says, "They used he/him and were only GNC." 1. That was a botched localization, & 2. There’s a queerness in gender nonconformity, which makes it devastating that Baiken has been made less nonconforming for the sake of sexualization.

In a similar vein, Anji's queerness is often ignored by a good chunk of the fandom, which is in itself a can of worms considering he's a GNC man who is treated normally (unlike Bridget who was essentially a gag character while she still identified as male) and bisexual, which seems to really stir up shit when said bisexual character shows attraction to the opposite sex, which is probably why people don't acknowledge him.

Lastly, there's Venom, and I'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm a lightskin before I'm queer, so I find it very interesting that they wrote out an explicitly gay POC out of the story. Don't get me wrong, I love this series, but once I noticed that fact, it didn't sit with me well, especially since Venom being gay is an integral part of his character that can't be hidden.

And that's what pisses me off the most, the fact that people aren't realizing that the reason Bridget is the only being pushed because her queerness isn't blatantly obvious at first glance and she fits the mold of a popular, fair-skinned, and cute that figure distributors love. I want ya'll to realize that Bridget being trans is overshadowed by her being a white girl, which is a real shame because it means other queer characters won't get attention because they don't fit this standard. The worst part is that people just ignore this, which makes it painfully obvious that they don't care for queer characters; they care for Bridget.

I this isn't everyone, but I ask that Bridget fans slow down on mindlessly buying merch of her because all it does is show distributors that you guys are cashcows ready to be used at any moment and PLEASE don't punch down on people asking for other characters. Seriously, some of ya'll are way too comfortable mocking other people because you got what you wanted. As for the other characters, show them some support and buy their merch if you have the means to (god knows I don't). Even just picking up the character can show that people care about them and want to see them more. I know it's little more than delusion on my part, but it’s at least something.

Tl;dr: Don't be pretentious about a queer character getting merch if you only care about Bridget and support other characters. Sorry about this being so long.

Yeah I think I may know the tweet you’re referring to…

Another tweet I saw on the topic also featured a family guy meme about thanksgiving

Anyways ON GOD !

[genericpuff]

Do you think Rachel knows about LO rekindled? Or that she could've secretly been reading your comics? 👀

I mean, I think people think I want her to know about it, I know that's a common criticism made of it that I made Rekindled to like, "get Rachel to notice me", but like... y'all there's a reason I only post it to Tumblr and mirror it on Dillyhub (when I remember to actually upload pages there oop-), I stay off Rachel's turf over on Webtoons and on other major webtoon platforms because I don't feel entitled to Rachel seeing Rekindled and frankly I just don't want that kind of attention lmao That's just bad energy I don't want to invite, I already feel like I'm pushing the limit of what's "okay" with some of the criticisms I have here and Rekindled as a whole. I get enough back-of-the-head punches from her fanbase as it is LMAO

If I wanted Rachel's attention, you'd see me in her IG comment section with the rest of the "haters" asking her why she's spending more time working on memes than on her comic or tagging her in my posts or, at minimum, using the #lore olympus tags which I'm sure you've noticed I also don't do ! and generally ask people not to do when sharing Rekindled :' ) (I've actually gotten her attention in the past that way, back when I still loved the comic and I did that LO tattoo that she retweeted which was neat for about 15 seconds lol)

Don't get me wrong, I still talk plenty of shit, but I try my best to keep it in my own house because I'm not entitled to Rachel's attention or time, she's clearly doing what she wants to do and I'm doing what I wanna do, we're each in our own house, managing our own lawns. Sure, I might be that weird neighbor who's side-eyeing her through the window blinds and talking shit about her very loudly from my kitchen, but it's completely on her - at her own risk - if she chooses to listen in, just like how it's completely on me to read LO at my own risk of taking psychic damage LMAO

If she is reading Rekindled then idk, I hope she enjoys it I guess? But I totally don't blame her if she doesn't like it, the fact that one of her assistants have blocked me despite us never interacting definitely gives me the sense that she does know about it to some degree. And there have been uh... signs...

BUT those are just hoof beats so I'm not gonna go chasing zebra's, what's more likely is that she's literally just minding her own business drawing her comic and trying to get her finale sorted out. Don't mention Rekindled in her comment sections if you can help it, don't be obnoxious with sharing it in the LO-focused spaces, leave well enough alone so I can keep making this for the people who it's made for, that's all I ask :' ) <3

[aaronstveit]

i would loooove to hear more of your director's commentary about deep end! <3 not sure how much you can say without spoiling but did you make a lot of changes from the original draft? and are there any scene that didn't make it into the final fic? thank youuu <3

omg hi anon this question made my entire day <3333 gonna answer beneath a read more as always because when talking about deep end i am this trc meme

okay so firstly! i wrote deep end 3 times. the original draft had a final wordcount of 126,978 words. the middle draft had a final wordcount of 175,065 words. the final draft's wordcount is not finalized yet because i am still editing & still adding one scene to the epilogue, but obviously we've already surpassed the first draft's wordcount, so that's fun.

as you can see, about 50k words were added in the middle draft! there are a lot of reasons for this. chapters 8 & 9, as well as about half of chapter 10, did not exist in the original draft. i added them during rewriting because i felt we hadn't spent enough time with enjolras & cosette.

combeferre and éponine were almost nonexistent in the original draft. not just as a couple, but individually as well. every single grantaire & éponine scene was added in the middle draft, and most of enjolras & combeferre's scenes as well.

i actually didn't cut any full scenes out! there were quite a few though where i started writing a scene, realized it was wrong, and erased what i had written and started over. for instance, this bit in chapter 18:

in the original draft, i tried writing enjolras turning to grantaire at this point and saying, "I think I'm in love with you," before cosette answered the door. obviously, i ended up deciding against this, mostly because i decided the kiss scene would pack more of a punch if enjolras realizes he's in love with grantaire right when he's in the middle of their argument.

i also deleted soooooooooo many arguments. this is probably surprising considering how often they argue in this fic, but at least once a chapter i really had to stop myself and say, okay no this is getting unhealthy. i enjoy writing arguments too much apparently - which is good for writing exr, but only to a certain extent.

originally, grantaire was not going to have a sister. it genuinely did not even occur to me until chapter 11 (which was chapter 8 at the time), but once it did occur to me, i couldn't not do it. his grief plotline became way too dear to me way too quickly.

the biggest changes i made during writing all had to do with reordering events!! originally, karaoke happened somewhere around chapter 8. i ended up moving it wayyyyyyyyy back because i felt like their flirting was out of place so early in the story.

i also moved enjolras' arguments with cosette and grantaire to an earlier point than i originally intended. at first, i thought they were going to happen around the second-to-last chapter, but i moved them forward a lot earlier because i thought more work needed to be done with enjolras.

the chapter that underwent the most changes from the middle draft to the finished draft is chapter 24. obviously i can't say just yet what those changes are, but i'm really really happy with how that chapter turned out and i hope you all will be as well <3

several of my personal favorite scenes in this fic are actually cannibalized from something i tried writing and gave up on a few months ago. marius getting mugged in chapter 4, the hamlet conversation in chapter 7, and enjolras tending to grantaire's broken nose in chapter 14 were all taken from the same abandoned wip.

as for some more random tidbits that i find fun:

a fun fact for everyone is that cosette did not pull the phrase "who has a flag where he should have a heart" out of thin air! she takes this from courfeyrac in chapter 13:

which is why courfeyrac winces when enjolras says it in chapter 19:

also in chapter 19, enjolras means to say that Train to Busan is his favorite horror movie ending. i didn't just choose that because i love that movie (although i really really do) but because. well. i'm not going to spoil the ending for you if you haven't seen it, but... it was very deliberate is all i'm saying.

i really cannot overstate how much of this fic only exists because of cossette notebookmusical. for starters, i only even attempted writing it because she said "jamie if you don't write this." she also got to spend months listening to me bitch about it and receiving so many horrible snippets from the original draft so coco, if you're reading this, thank you from the very bottom of my heart 🫶🏻

more specifically, the entire beginning sequence of chapter 17 with grantaire staying the night at enjolras' apartment was inspired by cossette! i was asking her for situations to put the blond man in and one of her ideas was that he loses his keys. so everyone say thank you cossette!

also the bit in chapter 19 where enjolras thinks about combeferre a psychology minor is the worst thing to ever happen to you was added after i said something to cossette and she said something along the lines of, "would you like to elaborate on that?"

the ending bit of chapter 23 is also inspired by and written for cossette. you'll see what i mean in a few weeks.

there are a lot more bits and pieces inspired by things that cossette has said and done, or added just to make her laugh, but if i listed all of them i would be here forever. just know that this entire fic is cocoservice and it is only because of cossette that it exists at all <333333

there is also a collection of scenes i'm considering writing as "bonus content" for when the fic is fully posted - mostly scenes that already exist, but from another point of view, and a few that are only mentioned in passing.

okay i'm cutting myself off now because this is a lot of yapping even for me but you may always ask more if you're so inclined <3333 thank you sm for asking i had so much fun answering this! i really can't tell you how much it means to me not only that you're not only reading but also enjoying it so much that you're asking about it like... this is literally a fic writer's DREAM. thank you so so so much <3333

[nevaroonie]

Shaw Pack Flowers pt2

flowers I'd give to every member of the Shaw Pack and why part 2

Christian - Red Lilacs with a mix of matching peonies! the color red means in this case anger and passion. Christian has a lot of pent-up anger as he feels he was cheated out of becoming beta. he tends to get annoyed whenever everyone calls out his obvious relationship with Amanda. however, he is passionate about his pack. even if he can be a bit of an ass- now to the flowers! Peonies mean Compassion and Bashfulness. why? he cares about the people around him a lot! and he can get very flustered when confronted about his relationship and or gifts. Lilacs mean confidence and innocence though we're only gonna take confidence in this case. After all everyone could use a little more of that

Marie - (she can have my hand in marriage honestly) I am giving her some Roses of course!(I love her some much- I'm biased) Pink roses and some blue Chamomiles. Pink roses mean Gratitude, grace, and joy though were only taking 1 of those meanings. Grace because let's be real here she had to be really patient and fast with Colm's behavior. while The color blue means calm, trust, and intelligence though we only takin 2 of those Calm and intelligent. She had to be smart in dealing with Colm's gambling habit while also being calm enough to raise their son. Chamomiles mean patience and wealth. do I really need to explain that?

Arden - the resident troublemaker! I'm giving her some Orange Hyacinths! The color orange in this case means Creativity, youth, and enthusiasm. arden is one of the younger wolf-shifters in the pack! with her creative ways of picking on Chrissy! She just wants to have some fun you know? that being said Hyacinths mean Playfulness ad constancy. yes shes is playful and sometimes disrespectful- she's constant with it at least (IM JOKING IM JOKING! She is an amazing team player. )

Amanda - honestly I don't know much about Amanda however- from what I've heard about her I think I'm going to give her some Peach roses. Why? well, peach roses mean Sincerity, gratitude, and sympathy. her relationship with Christan shows how much she loves and cares for him. while after the inversion she wanted him to come with her back to her parents. She wanted to show her gratitude by living a safe life with Christan. the sincerity of not having to be hidden anymore. but earning her sympathy when declined. She understood.. (pink roses would also suit her)

Gabe - I could just make a meme here and give him some black roses and say it means death (which is one of their many meanings) but I'm not going to do that.. I would give him forget-me-nots and delphiniums. whenever David talks about his dad it's always mentioned just how of a big heart he had. and how playful he could be at times. and guess what just happens to mean Big-hearted? Delphiniums! Gabe has so many good memories that the pack still talks about to this day. and true love.. something Gabe had and then lost. But now they get to see the man their son has grown to be together.

Colm - Black and White roses.. in the case of Colm, he let his work ruin him. and well.. he found an outlet. it wasn't a healthy one. and all he can hope now is to fix what he broke. even if it's too late. Black roses can mean a lot however in colms case they're going to mean Rebirth and new beginnings. White roses mean redemption and grace. I shouldn't have to explain this reasoning.

BONUS

David's Mom - Her favorite flowers were honeysuckle and they're the perfect flowers to give her. they can mean Love, devotion happiness, and new beginnings! there is doubt in my mind that this woman was a joy to be around, someone who balanced out Gabe. And someone who wanted everything for her son. She was an amazing woman. and her choice of such makes me think that even more.

and here's the part 2 I was talking about! @dawnofiight

let me know if there is any other characters you want me to do

[daydreamycrustacean]

you cant just threaten me with narrative parallels to big boss and not deliver. i need this

AHEHEHEE....( •̀ ω •́ )✧ Ive spent all noon going insane over char and ive listened 3 times to beyond the time, so you chose the perfect time for this.... Okay. so basically,

meme comic aside, here's a more structured and elaborated version of these points, taken from something that I wrote in my notes app at 2 am, plus some other points. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Im not good at putting my thoughts into words.

----------------------

-they are both soldiers who end up being idolized and turned into a symbol. this idolization makes people want them to be in a position of leadership.

-being better known for their nom de guerre, "the red comet/char aznable" (which also counts as this, since it's a fake name tied to his identity in the one-year war) and "big boss", adds to this idealization, and with it also comes depersonalization, as their identity becomes just an image of a war hero that exists in peoples heads. a legend, rather than a real person.

-the artificiality of this legend is brought home in the way that it is taken, replicated, and put into other people, showing that anyone can be "the red comet" or "big boss". that's right baby. clones! Be it The Patriots making supersoldier clones of big boss for war purposes or Sunrise making Char after Char for anime purposes. But Char does also have actual in-universe clones???

-And also phantoms... the much clearer example of the artificiality of these legends/identities. I don't know anything abt Gundam Unicorn and so the only things I know abt Full Frontal are from the wiki. but he's just Venom Snake. Hey, what if we took this random guy and altered his appearance and mind to be the red comet/big boss?

-Okay its time to talk about The Boss and Zeon Deikun. Their deaths turn them both into symbols that represent the ideals that they preached. Ideals that everyone else takes and misinterprets for their own purposes. Their deaths also kickstart Big Boss and Char´s...everything. In a way, both Big Boss and Char dedicate their lives fighting for the ideals that their mother/father represented. Are they any good at this? Or are they yet another person taking these ideals and twisting them beyond recognition? Let´s say that´s up for debate.

-"So both Char and Big Boss ended up being idolized just like The Boss and Zeon Deikun? Even though it's something that they did not want and tried to avoid?" YES! Unavoidable fate. Repeating mistakes of the past...Sins of the Father... one of the key themes of Metal Gear. THE theme of metal gear. Big Boss more consciously tried to avoid the fate of The Boss by leaving the US military and hated being seen as a hero/called Big Boss because of The Boss. Char never outright states that the reason he does not want leadership is because he does not want to suffer his father´s fate...but his choice of accepting leadership is tied into his father´s fate nonetheless, with "Maybe human sacrifices run in your family" and Char casting himself as that human sacrifice in Char´s Counterattack. Is the reason as to why thinking about Char makes me so insane because his narrative of not being able to escape his father´s shadow taps into one of Metal Gears main themes? who knows...

-I said that Char´s "The Boss" figure is Zeon Deikun...but I think Lalah is the emotional aspect of this. She is the more clear Mother Figure whose death scars and haunts Char the way The Boss haunts Big Boss. Yes, Char also lost his real mom when young but shes not as important as Lalah.

-They just miss their mom bro :(

-cue millions of jokes about Oedipus complexes (more prevalent in the gundam fandom. for some reason.)...not gonna comment on this but they are there. and I can't ignore it if I'm talking abt comparisons between them.

-Okay, mothers/fathers talk aside. Their relationship to war and conflict. Not much else to say that I didn't say in the image. Its all they know and and all they think themselves capable of. Though thinking about their similarities on this did remind me of something that Beltorchika said in Zeta about Char, about how she thinks he's someone who is incapable of living without war and how definitely similar things are directly said about big boss in metal gear. there's more to this and about whether this is true and why...but my eyes are starting to hurt. I need to finish this.

-Lets go back to leadership. despite the fact that they both do not initially want this position of power, they do eventually give into it to help soldiers/Spacenoids respectively. Big Boss wants soldiers to not be used by governments like he was used (but he does end up using them nonetheless. oops) and Char wants Spacenoid independence from the Federation, although Char´s motivations in cca are more complex than just this, I do believe part of him does genuinely see helping spacenoids as his "duty" and something he needs to sacrifice himself for.Okay that was my last big point. finally this is done. more stuff:

-the_man_who_sold_the_world.mp3

-I don't know. all war criminals know these days is be bisexual and lie. <- all there is to say abt their heavy homoerotic subtext. which yes they also both individually have. although big boss´ is stronger bc he's in metal gear. I also can't ignore it. It's still a character aspect.

-forgot abt Quess...use of child soldiers ig. awesome.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I know I already made a comment about The Rundown Job: but I just- I-I just want to talk about a particular scene. (This sucks, because I'm making posts on my phone because I don't have a laptop. AND because I'm not tech savvy enough to figure out how to make gifs and memes!) But the scene. It's in my top five favorite scenes. The scene?

Just after Eliot calls Vance- and then it switches to Eliot talking to him. Leading up to shaking hands Parker is nervous. Rightfully so. There's too many FBI agents. Too many cops. Too many people who can catch them. Still. Parker and Hardison folllow Eliot. They stay by him and when Eliot realizes what's gonna happen? That Vance is going to arrest them?

They circle each other. Eliot has his back to Hardison and Parker. Parker's back to Eliot and Hardisons. Hardison's back to Parker and Eliot. They trust each other enough to flank. Guys. These people are thieves, hackers, and hitters. Only one of them is professional trained.

They know they can't take them all. Still Parker and Hardison don't run. Despite being trapped. They don't give each other up. Parker and Hardison know that Eliot isn't dumb and that Eliot won't let them get hurt. He's rather die than allow them to get hurt. In the same way Parker and Hardison won't let Eliot get hurt.

And (this I know had been stated!) when they are put into the back of the prison truck- and Parker falls asleep. (Even if it's pretend,) she still trusts Hardison and Eliot. Not to mention Hardison doesn't question Eliot. Doesn't ask him how he could have gotten it all wrong- he just sits and listens.

Hardison and Parker know Eliot. I think more than Eliot realizes.

This is just another reason why I believe they are soulmates.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Play-by-Play Analysis of HARROW

Hello members of the jury! Since I only recently joined the Milgram fandom, I feel it'd be nice to have most of my thoughts on each MV so far in one big analysis for each. I'm starting with HARROW because Kotoko's second trial MV is coming out relatively soon, so I want to get my thoughts about her in order before then!

What? Double? MeMe? What are you talking about?

(Translation: Mikoto's giving me a headache so I've decided to hold off more in-depth analysis until Double actually releases)

Anyways, let's see what our local furry vigilante has for us!

CW Death and murder, child kidnapping and torture, vigilantism, online radicalization, self-loathing and grief, mention of cannibalism, sexual harassment (upskirt shots)

Theoretical Basis

(For anyone not yet familiar with the prisoner's situation)

There's not much debate over what Kotoko's murder is. She killed someone to "protect the weak", so vigilante justice.

[TASK (First Voice Drama)] Kotoko: I did kill someone. This is the one reason why I believe in the power of MILGRAM. But, the murder is only to protect the weak ones being bullied from the extremely evil ones. I became a shield for the weak, the result of becoming a fang for the weak.

The exact nature of her murder is... complicated, but we'll get there in the analysis.

Analysis

Alright, let's see what kind of incredibly subtle symbolism this video has in store for us-!

Or maybe we just get punched in the face by the symbolism! The opening lingers on a shot of Kotoko wearing a blindfold because "justice is blind." You get it? The lyrics in this scene are:

Let’s end this! “HARROW” “HARROW” I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared

(I'm using the English subtitles transcribed in the wiki btw, though I might change a bit of formatting for funsies)

So basically setting up the main message HARROW wants to communicate; Kotoko wants to protect those she considers weak. She cannot possibly forgive any offense, that she... "sweared." The past tense of 'swear' is 'swore' but alright.

However, it's worth noting that this is a biased showing of the events, as we're seeing them through Kotoko's eyes. She considers her justice as "blind", but I'm not entirely sure that's true. We’ll get to it when we get to it.

‘Harrow’ means to cause distress to (because I’m pretty sure we’re not referencing any farming equipment). In context, I believe it means Kotoko feels distressed by the evil in the world, which will make more sense as we look at other lyrics.

Kotoko is in her investigation room, for lack of a better name, and is pondering her investigation board. Now, if you think I'm insane enough to try to figure out what she's doing in that board... you're right, but I couldn't figure out anything too interesting. She seems to just be narrowing down suspects and figuring out murder routes.

Kotoko is seen wearing a white jacket with red streaks, as well as a black tank top of despair and white shoes. I've explained how I view the symbolism of her clothes in this other post (which you should probably read before this one because I reference it quite a bit), so I'm not gonna go too deeply into it here.

The interesting thing about this scene are all the wolves staring into the camera there. I believe all these wolves represent people online who do similar things to Kotoko and influencing her, which is gonna make slightly more sense as we go further. Note that there are many wolves here, too many to just be her family in my opinion, which is an interpretation I've seen around.

However, it's notable that there is also one other wolf which is seen directly next to Kotoko, not to mention the two wolf pelts (a white one where Kotoko is sitting, a brownish-grayish one next to her). We see the wolf sleeping for a moment, before waking up with a close up of its eye. By the way, in case anyone's concerned, the wolf is not different from the wolves we see in the pack later. It only looks white momentarily because of the lighting, but you can actually see it has the same "white under - gray top" as every other wolf.

I hope it's clear enough.

So why is this wolf important? I believe this is another person, but one who is working alongside Kotoko directly. We unfortunately never really see who they might be, but I do think they exist, and they're not the serial killer with the white hoodie. Again, things in these MVs make more sense the longer you go on.

One interesting thing is that the close-up of the eye looks like a camera lens. Currently, the theory I'm going with is that Kotoko is working alongisde this "wolf", but they don't meet in person often; they mostly speak through video chats. Thus the wolf's eye, the one which can stare at Kotoko, is a camera. I have very little basis for this, mind you, but without Deep Cover, this is the best I can come up with for now.

Finally, the lyrics, which are repeated several times over the course of the MV.

How heavy “HARROW” “HARROW” Is the damage to get in the way of someone’s dream. I’ll gouge you out with my fangs

I think the placement of the word 'harrow' is sort of confusing the lyrics a bit. I think "how heavy is the damage to get in the way of someone's dream" makes one full sentence, so the way I read this is

"It's so horrible (it's harrowing, it distresses me) the damage evil people cause, that gets in the way of people's dreams. I'll destroy the evil, gouge them out like a wolf's fang."

Does that make sense? I hope it does. It's not like the exact meaning is too important; the main thing to take away here is how much Kotoko hates people who get in the way of other people's lives.

Alright watch out this one's important. Kotoko's out on the street, and looks at a sign which speaks of an accident, asking the public to call the police if they have more information. Meanwhile, this lyric plays:

Stained emotions, what is winning or losing Feeding on food so I don’t burn out

The important thing to note here is how unsure Kotoko seems here; she sounds lost. She can't tell what she wants, "what is winning or losing", her emotions are "stained" because she's in despair. For one reason or another, she seems distraught.

The reason for the stained emotions is likely that accident sign we see. It appears repeatedly throughout the MV, as you're going to see. Why it's so important is up in the air, but for now, I'm going with the idea that the person who died in this accident was someone Kotoko knew personally.

Well, "accident." We'll get there.

The moment Kotoko stares at the sign, the lyric "feeding on food so I don't burn out" plays. Presumably, "feeding on food" refers to her vigilantism, the thing she does to feel alive, to keep the flame inside her burning. This isn't the only reason she does the things she does, but it is an important one. Kotoko is sad over this "accident", so she feels she has to do something about it so as to not break down entirely. In fact, it’s very possible it’s after this incident occurred that Kotoko dropped out of university.

(T1) Q7: What did you study at university?

KY: For a while, I studied at the faculty of law. There's something I want to do, so I'm currently taking a break from studies, though.

For the flower symbolism fans, I believe the flowers next to the road sign are white lilies, pink roses, and I think baby's breath (the tiny ones). They are all suitable funeral flowers.

White lilies in particular are apparently pretty popular funeral flowers in Japan, representing purity, elegance, virtue, that kind of thing. Pink roses are also used in funerals, representing love (though explicitly not romantic, I think), appreciation, gratitude, gentleness, etc. Finally, baby’s breath represents purity and innocence, and important to note, are usually used for the funerals of young children.

This is a surprise tool that will help us later-

Another thing to note is the name on Kotoko’s cap and jacket, Jacques Roulet. I’ve talked about it in this post, but if you don’t want to read the full story of Jacques Roulet, it’s about a man who claimed to be a werewolf, killed a child to eat him, and only stopped when two wolves scared him off. I couldn’t come to any definitive conclusions, but I think the best answer here is that Kotoko is one of the wolves who scared off Jacques, who in this case would be the serial killer Kotoko ends up killing. This would entail she had a partner in vigilantism, which is part of what gets me to believe that wolf buddy in the beginning is an actual person.

Finally, a fun fact about that stop sign to our left, that’s actually outdated lol. Stop signs in Japan used to be like that, but apparently from 2017 onwards they now display “stop” in Japanese and English, not just Japanese like in the MV. I doubt this means anything other than ‘the artist who drew this probably grew up with the old stop signs all their life and didn’t think much about it’, but it’s there. Oh, and if you want to really look at the symbolism, Kotoko could be said to be turning away from the stop sign, implying this is her “start.” Get it? Like the opposite of “stop.”

(And listen, I have to draw a line somewhere, I'm not talking about the trash bags and vending machine, etc)

(Girl do you want a chair)

Here we start to see how Kotoko spirals down, and begins to form more and more radical ideas in her search of justice. The articles she's reading are all speaking of different crimes, as these lyrics play.

Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy The normalcy sought for, fading away, everytime death comes The soul moves forward

She's "becoming lightheaded" as she looks at these reports, sickened by the evil in the world. The status quo she's searching for, a world without evil, disappears as horrible people keep killing and hurting.

Yet, "the soul moves forward." Kotoko must find a way to keep going, must find a way to deal with the death and the evil. Both for the sake of "the normalcy sought for", and for the sake of her own feelings. And that is her vigilantism.

Let's go over what exactly she's seeing. I won't post full translations for most of these, you can go to this post by Maristelina which is nothing short of a God-send for that, but I'll give summaries. In order of appearance:

A man and a woman in their twenties stole a bag from another woman and drove off. They were caught on camera, so they were arrested and admitted to the police they sold what they stole to pay for food and drinks. They had a prior record of theft.

(Note: I've seen some theorize this could be Kotoko and someone else, and while it's an interesting possibility, I don't see much evidence for it, and the fact Kotoko is 20 in Milgram makes the timeline a bit wonky imo)

A man in his 30s deceived an 80 year old woman out of 500.000 yen by pretending to be a bank employee. Keep this one in mind.

A 46 year old man took over 200 upskirts photos of high school girls in public transport. One of his work colleagues claimed he'd been saying he was going to pick up his kids, and had no idea what he was actually doing. The man himself claims to have done it to escape the stress from work. Below the article, there are two comments... which Maristelina didn't translate, so I did my best but take the following two translations with a massive grain of salt because my ass does not know Japanese.

何やわんこいつ = What is this guy? 同僚のコメントおかしぃだろwwww = Your colleague's comment is funny hahahaha

Additionally, we later see two anonymous comments which follow the same style as these two, and thus I believe they're talking about this. These ones Maristelina did translate!

Anon on Top: It’s just stress, cut him some slack. Anon on bottom: People like this will just do it again.

(Note: That last one is one of the things which make me believe Kotoko was at least slightly influenced by the comments of other people online)

A man in Tokyo was arrested for stealing luxury bikes by figuring out their combination locks. The police will charge him with theft and other crimes soon.

A group of people have pulled off something called the "It's me" scam over 40 times (FNAF reference?). Basically they call someone, disguising their voice, claiming to be a family member or someone they know and asking for cash for an emergency. The article specifically talks about a 23 year old woman who lost a million yen to this scam.

Point is, there's a lot of crime going on.

Anyways, as the camera pans out, we see a tripod, which can be assumed to have a camera pointed at the investigation board. Since it's not a very good idea to record yourself planning to commit crimes and posting it online anywhere, my best guess for what Kotoko is doing with that is videochatting with someone specific? Maybe? That's why the wolf's eye sort of looks like a camera in the beginning? I'm trying, cut me some slack here. This is very possibly wrong, but I don't know what else to do with this tripod.

If you don't get what's going on here, basically these images flash on screen very quickly, in the order I put them in.

Let's start with the lyrics, which are easy:

I hate all the evils in this world I feel like I’m about to break The surrounding net covered with poison

Kotoko hates evil, she's this close to breaking down, she feels trapped in a net of poison. You get it.

The image flash is important, though. We see the "accident" I said was important before, alongside two things: a TV report I'll call the Street With Bushes Report (SWB report), and an article about white hoodie guy. The SWB report says:

Body Found near the Home of Another Female Victim. Possible Connection to Series of Murders of Girls The body was found near the home of another female victim, and the police are investigating a possible connection to a series of murders of girls committed by the same perpetrator.

And the article:

Shocking revelation: The heinous criminal behind the crime is the privileged son of a high-ranking official! Killed 10 people in just about 2 years. Victims are elementary school students. Hidden by a cover-up.

Presumably the SWB report is of one of this guy's murders. He killed 10 elementary school girls, dumped their bodies near their home, and it was hidden because his father was a high-ranking police officer. I imagine this is probably why Kotoko lost faith in the police and the judicional system as a whole.

However, you'll notice an interesting detail. We maybe actually get to see this victim, somewhat. That person with the white dress laying on their back on a wooden floor. The only other time we see them is at the very end, so I think it's possible they really are related to the SWB report.

But why are we getting so many details about this one murder? It's not connected to the "accident", since the street is different. Well, it's not something I can answer now, but take this idea that there's a second murder which Kotoko isn't necessarilly related to, but one she knows more in-depth than some of the other white hoodie murders.

I put a lot of images here because I gotta properly illustrate this. This scene, where we see a representation of Kotoko's mind, starts with her literally opening her eyes or "waking up", sort of similar to the wolf at the beginning. She's surrounded by wolves, looking around hesitantly. Like I said before, at the beginning of HARROW, Kotoko is still very unsure of herself, but here, surrounded by the wolves, she seems to finally find a purpose. That's why the scene ends with her focusing on the foggy path ahead and starting to run with the pack.

What I believe is happening here is that Kotoko believes she is beginning to understand just how much evil there is in the world, with the guidance of the wolves (again, possibly people online with radical views), and decides to follow them into the foggy path of vigilantism. Essentially, this is a representation of her radicalization. And it's scarily accurate, isn't it? Someone lost and vulnerable, who literally starts by being framed as the wolves' prey, thinks she finds an answer to her 'harrowing' situation. Even the imagery of "waking up" is pretty common for some of these types of communities.

This also vaguely mirrors the scene in Little Red Riding Hood where the titular character first meets the wolf, which presents itself as friendly while getting information of what the girl is doing. This imagery of Little Red Riding Hood will come up again, so.

One note is that the trees are dead, which not only shows how grim Kotoko's views on the world are, but can also see as symbols of death and rebirth. That's going to come into play later, though you could argue Kotoko's already been reborn by becoming radicalized. Additionally, the fog can represent a twisted or limited view on the world, cloudy thoughts, that sort of thing.

The lyrics aren't anything special, since they're the same as in the beginning.

Let’s end this! “HARROW” “HARROW” I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared How heavy “HARROW” “HARROW” If it damaged someone’s dream to the points of stopping it I’ll gouge you out with my fangs

Well that escalated quickly.

We actually see a lot of articles between when the chorus ends and when the verse begins, but they're mostly the same ones we've already seen (or Maristelina didn't translate them). However, that one I put in the collage is interesting. It talks about how a wanted thief named Mikio Oshii was beaten in the face, stomach and other areas by someone in a hood and using men's sneakers. Oshii was taken to the hospital, but there's no mention to whether or not he died.

And in the next scene, Kotoko scrolls through an article describing Mikio Oshii, which explains he had been the one to steal money from the elderly by pretending to be a bank employee.

Note that this guy has a face, possibly signifying importance. This is because this is the first big act of vigilantism Kotoko performs. Note she uses men's clothing because it throws off the police; the first article actually says the police narrowed down suspects only to men, so it clearly works.

However, Kotoko isn't looking to stop after one. She's still walking forward, the evils always lurking in the background. The lyrics as she beats up Oshii are:

I’ll teach you the pain you caused It’s a tie after saying sorry? What are you hoping for?!

And when she's walking along:

Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion “I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again” How many wins in a row?

It's evident something's changed in Kotoko. Before, she was asking herself "what is winning or losing?", now she seems to speak with authority on what a "tie" and a "win" are.

And what is a win in her eyes? Well, I believe it's when she "replaces the poor soul and miserable delusion." In other words, when she can get an evildoer to stop their acts of evil by "teaching them the pain they caused." That's why after they say "I won't do it again", Kotoko adds a win; how many in a row? Saying sorry isn't enough, of course, it's not even a tie; she needs to make sure they never engage in evil ever again.

So here's how I read this line:

Let's replace the evil monster with a respectable citizen. Saying sorry isn't enough, we need to teach them the pain they caused so they never do it again. And we hear them promise to stop over and over; how many times have we done this in a row?

Maybe there's other ways to interpret that, but we ball.

(This really makes me wonder what she would consider a "win" in Milgram, though. She doesn't even know what the people she attacks did, how would she know they would stop after getting beat up by her? Unless she straight up aimed to kill, which would stop them, but I believe she was probably going more for an incapacitation thing, otherwise I don't think Mahiru would have survived at all. Whatever, we'll presumably get an explanation in her second VD)

One question that comes up is what are the other "wins in a row"? However, we have genuinely no way to tell, so it's just an unknown for now.

Now, let's ask the big question of the scene. Did Oshii die in the hospital, or did Kotoko intentionally let him live? Well, I believe he survived. One, because there isn't much of a point to specify he was taken to the hospital if he did die. Two, because there is precedent of Kotoko being able to control her strength as to not kill her victim provided medical attention is adminestered (Mahiru), and if she didn't kill him in the moment, she presumably didn't want him dead. Three;

[TASK] (First VD) Kotoko: I did kill someone. [...]  what I did is, "facing an urgent and illegal infringement, an action taken out of necessity to protect the rights of myself and others".

Even beyond the wording of someone implying only one victim (and she most likely did kill the guy at the end), Kotoko was not facing an urgent infringement when she found Oshii, since he seems like he was just minding his bussiness when she got there. So it wouldn't be justifiable defense as she claims her murder was. Yes, it's possible she's lying, but I genuinely think there is at least an argument her murder was justifiable defense, as she's usually paired up with Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru and Kazui (long story), and the most straightforward connection there is "their 'sin' would not be considered murder in a court of law." The other four didn't outright kill a human with their own hands, and Kotoko's would be considered "justifiable defense." Get it?

Undercover prisoner card? What are you talking about? Let me cope and ignore that.

Anyways, for now we can't be sure whether Oshii died or not, but I think he didn't. There's really no way to confirm though.

Finally, the scene ends with Kotoko finding the warehouses we'll see the serial killer take a victim into later. And yes, warehouses, plural. Go back and check; there are two warehouses connected to each other. I believe the warehouse complex might even be referenced in the whiteboards of the investigation room.

I have zero way of checking the Japanese, but none of the other marked locations in her whiteboards match multiple buildings being circled as one complex, which seems to be what these warehouses are.

Why is this important? It probably isn't. But my insanely deranged murder theory sorta requires the possibility there are multiple warehouses connected together in the same complex, so I'm introducing it now so I don't have to convince you of too many things at the same time.

Speaking of not important things, there's a 40 km/h speed limit sign, and a 'no parking' sign. Nothing too wild there, though I guess you could try to read into some kind of symbolism that Kotoko needs to slow down, but she's not gonna stop. That's insane even for my standards, but it's there.

Before we deal with the images, the lyrics are:

Whose fault is it This is getting ridiculous What should the punishment be?

Considering the fact all the images here are connected to the serial killer dude, that's probably referring to him. "Whose fault is it" that he keeps getting away with it. "This is getting ridiculous" because come on, how have the police not caught him yet? "What should the punishment be?" because if the police isn't gonna do anything about it, then she will, and she gets to decide how he'll be punished.

So what are we seeing? Let's ignore the TV report for now, because what is probably the most important article in the MV shows up here; the article with the serial killer that shows up.

“Since he was young, he has been aware of his environment, and his parents are satisfied. His thoughts are unknown,” according to the voices around him. He lives in a tower apartment located in the city. It seems that the suspect’s name (A) was not revealed, and no investigation was conducted based on his bodily fluids. According to sources, there may have been concealment due to his father’s pressure. The victim may have been run over by a car or killed by hand. However, due to the fact that suspect A is his son, there is a lack of consistency in the handling of the case.

Did you spot it?

The victim may have been run over by a car or killed by hand

In case you missed it, the police should be able to easily tell whether someone was ran over by a car, or they were killed by hand. This should not be difficult, though I can't confirm with sources, I'm pretty sure just looking at the injuries should be enough. And yet, they're unsure. But as the article says, there could be some foul play going on, since the guy is the son of an official.

Do you get it? If there's doubt of what happened, that's because the victim wasn't ran over. The police are trying to cover up a murder by claiming it was simply an accident, that way the killer can get away with simply a slap on the wrist. Which is interesting, because we already know this guy killed ten children, why is this murder and cover up so important?

Well, we do know of another "accident", don't we? And if you remember what I said about baby's breath the flower, you'll remember it's possible the victim of said "accident" was a child, which fits the profile of this guy's victims.

Thus, I believe if we're bringing attention to this murder in particular, that's because it's connected to the "accident" Kotoko is so fixated on. I believe the serial killer murdered someone close to Kotoko, and the police covered it up as an accident. And this is what kickstarted Kotoko's path to vigilantism.

This brings up the interesting possibility that Kotoko may have killed him out of a personal grudge, rather than simply to protect someone else. Don't get me wrong, she definitely wanted to protect the weak, that's her thing, but she could have done that without killing him, in theory. She hurt him to protect others; she may have killed him for revenge. At least, that's what I think.

Her justice isn't as blind as she makes it out to be, is it? Unreliable narrators, gotta love 'em-

And speaking of, subconciously twisting a supposedly strict moral system to justify killing someone for personal grudges? That reminds me a lot of another prisoner, but I will not allow Amane Momose to consume this post.

Anyways, that aside, there is actually another murder referenced in this scene. The one referenced in the TV, what I'll call the Highway report (not entirely sure it's a highway actually, but that's what it looks like to me).

New evidence in the case of the abandoned and murdered girl’s body? Report: Police (this afternoon) The same tire marks found at the scene where the victim’s body was discovered were found near the scene of the crime. The perpetrator likely abducted the victim in a car, killed her, and then abandoned her body in the vicinity of her home.

Note that the police are sure this one's a murder, presumably because there's no way to connect the white hoodie guy to it, so there's no need to cover that up. Because of that, and because again the street shown doesn't match either the "accident" street or the SWB report, this is a third murder Kotoko is oddly fixated on. Although we don't see the victim for this one. However, the whiteboard shown here doesn't actually match the whiteboards on Kotoko's room.

It's possible, then, that each of these whiteboards represent a different murder. And once again, we have the theme of three murders Kotoko has more knowledge of than the rest. Presumably, these are the murders Kotoko investigated deeply to figure out where the killer was taking his victims. Keep this idea of 'three important murders' in mind, with what Kotoko knows about them.

>She may have known the victim of the "accident" personally.

>She remembers seeing the victim of the SWB murder, the one with the white dress.

>She doesn't seem to know what the victim of the Highway murder looked like.

Anyways, the scene ends with Kotoko running forward, as we cut to another forest scene.

This one doesn't have much new stuff in terms of imagery, though there's three things worth noting. First, by now Kotoko is firmly running in front of the pack, so she's firmly one of them, unlike in the first chorus, where she was still figuring stuff out. Two, the waning moon is still there. Three, Kotoko's clothes haven't changed despite how much she's changed, which I talked about in the clothes' post and I believe represents how Kotoko doesn't realize how much her views are shifting as she hangs out with the "pack of wolves."

Timelines - 20/6/18 Kotoko: Treat you [Amane] like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today.

However, the lyrics are quite interesting.

Want to find “HARROW” “HARROW” I feel like I’m going crazy after straining my nerves The person that can’t be saved, is now understanding the abnormality How heavy “HARROW” “HARROW” If it damaged someone’s dream to the points of stopping it I want gouge you out with my fangs

I've already talked about the second part, but the first one is new. At first it doesn't seem like anything special; we already knew Kotoko was "going crazy after straining her nerves", again becoming sickened by the evil in the world.

But then there's "the person that can't be saved, is now understanding the abnormality." Which seems to mirror the earlier line:

The normalcy sought for, fading away, every time death comes.

As stated before, Kotoko sees a "normal" world as one without evil. But as she saw more and more crime happening around her, she "begun to understand the abnormality", she begun to understand how much evil there was in the world.

But the person who begins to understand the abnormality "can't be saved." Which seems to imply Kotoko considers herself impossible to save. She's far too sickened by the world to feel anything but awful, she feels nothing will ever make her feel good with her life.

Friendly reminder that Anti-Beat, her Trial 1 cover song, is extremely depressing. CW suicidal ideations

[Anti-Beat] Anti Beat I just want to die already, So I can finally be at ease Anti Beat But all I know is pain And there’s nowhere to run Anti Beat

CW over

So yeah, she's extremely sad, and doesn't think anything will make her feel good. That's why she clings so hard to vigilantism; as we'll soon see, it's the only way she's found she can feel good about her life. Yeah, it's sad.

As the bridge plays, we get to see the last few investigative actions Kotoko performs. She shows some dude possibly named "Kaneshiro Ken'otoko" something on her phone, then pays him 10k yen (around $100) for him to... do something. He works for "Shoko Newspaper Corporation" (Shoko is just a woman's name), and is an external director. Well, that's not a real term, but it's probably meant to mean outside director? A member of a company's board of directors who is not an employee or stakeholder in the company. I don't know how important that is, though. Point is, it seems he's pretty high up in a newspaper company, and thus likely has some kind of information Kotoko finds useful. Presumably that's how she found the warehouse complex in the first place.

And then, Kotoko sees the killer take a child with orange overalls into one of the warehouses. I'm going to ask you to pay attention to three things (at this point I'm starting to feel like a Playmaker from Yugioh kinnie). First, the guy has put up a sign to seemingly close down the entire complex, either implying it's completely abandoned or he owns the entire place. This implies he can be relatively confident no one will enter the complex until he's done with his victim. Second, the walls have verticals lines on the walls and vertical bars on the windows. Third, Kotoko is wearing her blue and yellow jacket + cap, and the girl's hands are unbound.

We'll get to why these things are important (to me and no one else) later.

And this is a really weird thing to put here. Although we just saw Kotoko witnessing a crime, we see her slowing down, getting tired and discouraged. It's almost like she's going back to doubting herself, see the lyrics:

Newly born “HARROW” “HARROW” It’s ok to dislike, right? Losing it, losing it. What should I hope for?

She's 'newly born' since she recently underwent some pretty big changes, but she's still distressed. She's doubting whether or not she's allowed to hate evil/the hoodie guy as much as she does, and questions what she even wants to do, what outcome she hopes for.

But the doubt doesn't last long. One of the wolves, possibly the one from the beginning she's particularly close to, smiles at her as this line plays:

Goodnight “HARROW” “HARROW” Laugh and I can get to like myself

Goodnight, because something's about to end, there's a big change looming. She will now "laugh" to "get to like herself." As stated, Kotoko feels deeply dissatisfied with her life, and her vigilantism is the only thing she has which makes her feel good about herself. Kotoko literally laughs after she says that, because her vigilantism is about to reach a climax. She will now kill the man who caused so much suffering, to others, and to her, by killing the victim of the "accident."

So what was up with that hesitation at the beginning? Well, uh. I'll get there in the murder theory. Let's go to the final scene.

Lyrics first since it's the easier part, as most of them are repeated.

Let’s end this! “HARROW” “HARROW” I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I just can’t let it go How heavy “HARROW” “HARROW” If it damaged someone’s dream to the points of stopping it I want gouge you out with my fangs

The only notable thing is the addition at the very end.

I want to be drowning in the knowledge that I am right

Basically what we've heard before. As Kotoko is very unhappy with herself usually, she finds worth in herself by protecting the weak, which requires "the knowledge she's right" to do the things she does. She wants to feel sure of herself, which as stated is one of the reasons she engages in vigilantism.

As for the visual symbolism, I talked in the clothes post about how Kotoko undergoes a pretty big change here. She's reborn. Remember how the forest scenes always had a waning moon? Well, this one has a full moon, representing the end of a cycle, rebirth. The same sybolism is found by the fact dawn breaks there, again showing rebirth. This also connects to Red Riding Hood symbolism, etc.

This idea of rebirth is even further implied by the fact we see a wolf with her neon pink smile take its place in the investigation room. Kotoko, with the full moon like a werewolf, has become just like the rest of the wolves. She's changed for good.

One other note, you see that one shot where we see the killer's smiling shadow? Doesn't it look like his mouth casts a shadow like a wolf's snout?

If you squint, yeah, I think so. This, and the fact he kills children, is what makes me think he's "Jacques Roulet" getting chased off by the two wolves (Kotoko and wolf buddy) in that metaphor. Not entirely confident I know what the deal with this is, but you know.

Okay so the symbolism is all good, but now we have to get to the really weird part of all of this. Which is, what the fuck is actually happening in her murder? Let's get to the most speculative part of this post, the one which will most likely be outdated by the time Deep Cover releases lol.

(Unhinged) Murder Theory

First Problem: The Time Gap

So it's pretty well known that Kotoko's clothes mysteriously change between when she sees the kidnapping outside, and when she actually goes attack the dude. She sees the kidnapping happen with her blue and yellow jacket, but she kills the dude with her red hoodie. This isn't even the only indication that some time has passed. We can also see the girl's hands are bound and her shoes are off on the floor, so there were at least a few minutes the killer had to do that. Additionally, the lighting slightly changes between Kotoko seeing the event and the murder ending.

Okay the change is actually subtle enough I could believe it just took her a few minutes to finish off the guy, but it is there.

So I believe some time passed. Clearly not much, since the lighting shift isn't too radical, but there's at least a few minutes between when Kotoko sees the kidnapping and when she rushes in.

And I believe we can get a vague idea of what happened, by looking at the scene in between these two things. Which you'll remember, is the scene in the forest where Kotoko slows down and hesitates, before being encouraged by the wolf again. Essentially, after seeing the guy commit a crime right in front of her, Kotoko briefly hesitated, and maybe rushed back to her investigation room or somewhere else. Perhaps she considered just calling the police, perhaps she was paralyzed by the trauma of the "accident", whatever the case, Kotoko couldn't get herself to immediately rush in. However, maybe she called her partner in vigilantism, that wolf she seems particularly close to, and they encouraged her to go in and do her thing.

Is this a good answer? Fuck no, but it's undeniable some time passed, so until we get Deep Cover, this is the best explanation I can come up with as to why that happened. The point is, there's a time gap between the kidnapping and the attack. Keep that in mind.

Second Issue: Different Warehouse

The warehouse Kotoko kills the guy in has bricks which form both vertical and horizontal lines on the walls, and the window has a horizontal and diagonal bars instead of just vertical. It's a different warehouse. Thankfully, though, this is pretty easily solved by what I mentioned before; the killer didn't block off access to just one warehouse, but to the entire complex.

Thus, it's perfectly possible he just took the kid through one warehouse and into another one. This is simply more indication that there really was a time gap between the kidnapping and Kotoko's attack.

However, there's a huge problem. Not only is the girl nowhere to be seen in the last shot, this isn't the room the kid was in. That one's a lot smaller.

Biggest Issue: The Nonsensicality of the Attack

The first thing I want to address; I don't think Kotoko ever worked with this killer. It goes against pretty much her entire character, and as mentioned, I'm pretty sure she has a personal grudge agaisnt him. There is reason to believe otherwise, you can find other posts around talking about it, and you can actually see two hammers on the floor in that scene, which I don't have a great answer for. However, it just doesn't seem like it makes much sense. And yet, there's so many weird things about Kotoko's initial attack in this wooden floor room.

>As mentioned, the room of this scene isn't where the guy actually died.

>The guy is standing on one of the hammers, seemingly not doing anything.

>He doesn't react to Kotoko entering at all beyond simply turning his head a bit, which doesn't seem appropriate even if he was working with her.

>The girl also doesn't react to Kotoko slamming the door open.

>The toolbox appears to be empty, though this isn't too big of an issue.

>Kotoko reaches for him with her right hand, but later we see her grabbing his hoodie with her left hand.

You could argue she turned him around with her right, then grabbed him, but that doesn't make much sense. Why not tackle him to the floor while his back is turned?

Well, to answer what's going on here, I think we need to look at the other scenes where this room appears, and notice they also don't make sense.

How does Kotoko remember these events? As I said, it doesn't make sense for her to have been working with the killer, but that's not all. The last one in particular is extremely impossible. Kotoko is nowhere to be seen in the room (unless she's the girl there, but I don't think so), and there's nowhere she could be where she doesn't cast a shadow or show up on the shot.

Well... I have an answer, but it's sort of insane. Kotoko shouldn't remember these events, so she doesn't.

Unhinged Hypothesis #1: These Scenes Are All Kotoko's Imagination

Alright hear me out. I think Kotoko saw this room at one point, but only when she went to rescue the orange overall girl. The rest of the scenes are her filling in the blanks with what she knows. When she saved the orange overall girl, she saw what the room looked like, the toolbox and weapons the killer was using to torture the girls with, and just imagined the rest.

And why do I say this? Well, apart from the aforementioned nonsensicality of the situation, remember those three murders I mentioned earlier? The ones Kotoko knows the most about?

>She may have known the victim of the "accident" personally. >She remembers seeing the victim of the SWB murder, the one with the white dress. >She doesn't seem to know what the victim of the Highway murder looked like.

Does this ring a bell? Because it matches the scenes of the room with the wooden floor, aside from the occassion with the orange overall girl obviously. We have:

>One shot of the killer attacking a victim out of frame, a victim Kotoko knows exists, but one she can't visualize. This would be the Highway victim, the one Kotoko never saw.

>The girl (because the report specifies it's a woman and it may be connected to the murder of other girls) with the white dress, as stated is likely the victim of the SWB murder. It's possible Kotoko got a glimpse of her corpse being carried away, which is why she only remembers a portion of her body covered by a white dress.

>And finally, the last shot of these we get, book-ending the image flash which starts with an image of the "accident" sign, is of a girl which Kotoko remembers in full. And it's a girl who looks like she could be elementary school age if you look at her at the right angle, so she likely is one of the dead girls. And it's a girl who looks suspiciously similar to Kotoko, perhaps a younger sister, a cousin? This is the victim of the "accident", I believe.

With this, it's possible Kotoko is simply imagining these things based on what she knows after seeing the murder room when she went to rescue the orange overall girl.

Am I confident in this claim? Not really, I'm decently sure it will be deconfrimed in Deep Cover, but for now I'm running with it so I can have something.

But why is this important? Well, apart from explaining how these scenes would be in the MV without having to assume Kotoko worked with the murderer, it also throws into question anything we see in these scenes. If you've been paying attention, you'll have realized Kotoko is not a particularly reliable narrator; see the "justice is blind" thing from the beginning, the non-changing clothes in the mind space, etc. And now, we're wondering if maybe, just maybe, that scene where she enters the wooden floor room and attacks the killer didn't play out how she's presenting it to us.

Unhinged Hypothesis #2: When Kotoko Found the Girl, the Killer Wasn't in the Room

Let me draw your attention to the distorted quote in her Trial 2 Voice Reveal.

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

Going by the pattern these things follow, this should be something Kotoko says before her murder. But, who is she saying it to? Looking at the context, it really seems like she's talking to an 'useless weakling' who is pushing against Kotoko's decisions. But, with the information we have so far, the only 'useless weakling' Kotoko could be talking to... is the orange overall girl. None of the other characters shown in HARROW really fit that description.

But how the hell would that happen? By the time Kotoko gets close enough to talk to her, she's suppossedly already attacking the serial killer. And yet, if you hear the quote, she doesn't sound winded or anything during the quote, she doesn't sound like she's fighting the dude. This implies there may have been some time before the murder when Kotoko could talk to the girl, but the killer wasn't there.

So we go back to what we have. The killer has no reason to think anyone will enter the warehouse complex, so he could perfectly leave for a moment to do something. By the time the killer is dead, the girl is nowehere to be seen, it's possible she's been untied and has ran away. And Kotoko's views of the events in the wooden floor room are not to be trusted. She sees herself as saving the girl from an immediate threat of danger, but that may not have been the case.

Heavy Speculation Incoming

My vision here is that Kotoko, after changing and coming back, found the girl in the wooden floor room alongside the toolbox and stuff, and untied her. After getting a bit of an explanation, she hears the murderer will probably come back soon, and decides to wait for him, so she can enact justice. Remember, this is personal; she doesn't just want to save this girl, she wants the guy dead.

Upon hearing this, the girl tries to convince her not to do that. It would be better to call the police and let them deal with it, right? But Kotoko obviously doesn't expect that to work, so she tells her she needs to kill the guy herself. The girl tries to talk her out of it, saying she doesn't understand, and that's where we get the Voice Reveal line. Kotoko never asked for her understanding; her actions are bringing Earth closer to justice, so 'useless weaklings' like the girl should shut up and listen to her.

At this point, you'll notice I'm practically just writing fanfiction. I have very little evidence for most of this, it's more just me trying to come up with some kind of explanation for all the seemingly contradicting evidence we have.

Though there is one more thing Kotoko being in the final warehouse before the killer would... somewhat kinda explain if you squint; the cap on the floor.

Listen. There is, like, no good explanation for why the fuck that's there. People don't just leave caps on the floor, no matter what they're doing. However, ignoring for a moment the why it's on the floor, let's look at the how. If the killer was already in the warehouse when Kotoko went in, there's no real way the cap would end up there. Kotoko has her hood up during the entire attack until the guy's already dead, so it couldn't have fallen off if she was wearing the cap under the hood for some reason. If she came in with it in her hand, for some reason, she would have to drop it before attacking him (see: grabbing him with her left hand then hitting him with her right), but she would drop it before reaching him; the cap wouldn't end up so close to them. Putting it in her pocket would be insane, and also wouldn't exactly explain how it would fall off and land upright either.

Thus, the only way I can think of to explain how it ended up there, is if it was already on the floor, then the killer went to inspect it or something, and that's when Kotoko attacked him. Again, no idea why Kotoko would just leave the cap there, but it's what I think makes the most sense, physically speaking.

Thus, Kotoko was in that warehouse before the killer, or like I'm claiming, the killer went away, Kotoko went in, waited for him, he returned, got distracted by the cap and went to investigate, got attacked by Kotoko.

Closing Argument

+Kotoko sees the man taking the orange overall girl into the warehouse complex, with him having put up a sign to close off the complex to the public.

+For some reason, she becomes discouraged and goes away for a moment, doubting what she should do. She's encouraged by her wolf buddy to go kill the dude, she changes into her murder fit, and goes back just a few minutes later. Meanwhile, the killer takes the girl to a small room in another warehouse connected to the first one, binds her hands and takes her shoes off... for some reason.

+The killer leaves for a moment for God knows what reason, Kotoko comes back and finds the girl, unties her. Thanks to what she sees in that room, she forms a mental image of what the other murders looked like.

+Kotoko decides to wait for the killer to come back, leaving her Jacques Roulet cap on the floor... as bait or something I don't know. The girl tries to convince her not to do that, but Kotoko refuses to listen. Cue T2 Voice Reveal line.

+The killer comes back, sees the cap on the floor, and gets closer to investigate. Since he's distracted, Kotoko takes the chance to run up to him. He turns around right before she reaches him, and before he can react, Kotoko grabs his hoodie with her left hand, and punches him with her right. He falls to the floor, and Kotoko starts beating him to death as the girl runs away. However, since he arrived while the girl was still in the scene, Kotoko can claim it was justifiable defense of either the girl or herself.

... Yeah this is completely fucking insane. This is most likely wrong, so don't be surprised when Deep Cover comes out and deconfirms it. However, I do think some of what I said has a chance of being accurate, so I'm putting it out there so I can pretend to be smart and stuff if it turns out some of this is right.

(Can you believe that's not even the most insane murder theory I've ever done? Like, at least I didn't bring in an accomplice and several pulley systems, or made a wire circuit extending throughout the entirety of a room, both things I've done for another fandom. Yeah, my brainrot runs deep)

Conclusion

Well that last part was a bit of a mess. I hope you can forgive my insanity, and that you still took something out of the rest of the analysis if not the murder theory. I'm really excited to see what Deep Cover has in store for us, Kotoko is a very interesting character. Anyways, if you made it this far, then I think you deserve your own wolf buddy! Though be careful, and don't listen to it when it tells you to kill. Take care!

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Lee is re-watching Sherlock for some fucking reason - Season One

I'm well aware that the crossover between "currently popular and loved British comedian in the US updates, thirst, and accoutrements" and "BBC show that went so off the rails that people now like to pretend Andrew Scott's breakout role was the Hot Priest in Fleabag" is limited, but weirdly, returning to Sherlock was one of the few things that was keeping my brain somewhat grounded and whirring during Work Hell.

We're in uncharted territory here. You're gonna learn a bit about the things I do when I'm not tracking John Oliver obsessively. I am nervous about this but hey, I'm guessing most of you knew I don't solely live and breathe John Oliver. (I know. I have multitudes. This is a shocking revelation. Please take time to process it.)

Firstly, a content note - there's going to be discussion about queerbaiting and queercoding villains, and the beginning of this goes into some of James Somerton's absolutely disgusting claims about the AIDS crisis. This post will only be focused on Season One, as that's all I've finished at this point.

Let's go.

(above image sourced from Writing Tips and Memes)

My sudden re-emergent hyperfixation started because of the hbomberguy takedown of James Somerton, weirdly. I don't follow many YouTubers - I like Bright Sun Films because he goes urban exploring, something I've always wanted to do but have never managed to make happen, and also Todd in the Shadows, whose Trainwreckords series is very well-done and expertly researched. Seeing that name, you might know where this is going. Todd dropped a video about James Somerton, who I had never fucking heard of and now wish I'd known about before, so I could scream bloody murder about what an absolute fuckwad he is.

(I don't want to get too in the weeds here, but the things James asserted about WWII, Nazis, and the AIDS crisis are so vehemently offensive that I'm still struggling with them. Claiming that only boring gays survived the AIDS crisis in particular is so vile that I have gotten anger flashes thinking about it almost daily since hearing it.)

Todd recommended watching all four hours of the hbomberguy plagiarism video, and I ran that in the background while working about two weeks ago. Eventually I had to stop doing that because the plagiarism revelations were so distracting and shocking. Todd's video was even more of a goddamn mindfuck, and even the smaller, less offensive things have taken up far too much space in my brain. Californians, does anyone at all deify Bob Iger??? Like... what the goddamn fuck??? Bob Iger????

After watching one hbomberguy video, the algorithm did its thing, and gave me a video called "Sherlock is Garbage and Here's Why". Posting it here for posterity:

Because my brain works in mysterious ways (-cough-ADHD-cough-), watching this... made me want to rewatch Sherlock.

I initially saw Sherlock for the first time thanks to someone I met in my last year of college, 2012. At the time, Michael (a nickname) was my neighbor in the dorms; over the past ten years, she's become one of my closest friends and a true rock in my life. One of the first things we bonded over that I introduced her to was the San Francisco Giants and the ghost I will always be chasing, Tim Lincecum; one of the first things we bonded over that she introduced me to was BBC Sherlock. The show was in the early months of its extended hiatus after Season Two, at the height of its fandom, and we were both completely obsessed. I read all the Doyle stories, took in a truly wild amount of fanfiction, wrote a not-very-popular AU fic, became part of a strange inter-dorm ARG based on Sherlock orchestrated by Michael... it consumed a huge part of our lives.

When Season 3 dropped, I almost stopped watching after "The Empty Hearse". I don't want to get into why it offended me so much before we get to a Season 3 post, but just know my enthusiasm severely dampened there. The rest of Season 3 I think of with blase emotions, especially the ending, which I found just dumb, save one part of it. I recall going to see The Abominable Bride in theatres with my mom (and maybe Michael?), and I think I liked it fine - aside, again, from the ending. But I had no interest in a Season Four, and when it dropped, Michael's long rambling phone calls describing the absolute shitstorm of a plot cemented that I was never going to watch it again.

Until now.

I definitely don't think the hbomberguy video is perfect. His insistence that Doyle canon never had Holmes pull answers to cases out of his ass is... something, lol, as is his opinion that changing the solution to certain puzzles in A Study in Pink disrespects the original canon. (Bro, these stories have been retold a bajillion times, they need to mix it up to keep it interesting.) But he put a finger on something that I'd wrestled with regarding Sherlock for a long time - that the show's writing often teased something big and new and conclusive in the horizon, but almost never delivered. That wasn't an issue in early days when there was less invested in an increasingly convoluted mythic story, or when they weren't fully blowing off the resolutions to cliffhangers, but the flaw in writing a story where you promise something huge on the horizon and never deliver should be obvious.

The first season doesn't trade much in that idea, and going back to it was something I found exceptionally enjoyable!

Before I watched:

I remembered bits and pieces of "A Study in Pink" and the whole plot in summary.

I truly didn't remember anything about "The Blind Banker" except that I found it fairly 'yellow peril'-y when I saw it in 2012.

I mixed up huge chunks of Season Two's "A Scandal in Belgravia" with "The Great Game" in my head and somehow forgot the main plot thrust was Moriarty kidnapping people and strapping bombs to them.

I genuinely forgot Sebastian Moran was a character basically hallucinated into existence by the fandom and didn't appear in the show at all until a brief appearance in Season Three.

In a way, it was like I was watching the show for the first time all over again. My partner also watched the first season with me, and it was interesting to get his thoughts on the show as we watched.

To start, his favorite character is Mycroft. Watching Season One, I had to agree that Mycroft has a depth of character that I'd forgotten about. Mark Gatiss plays him perfectly, aloof and smarter than you but unsure of how to deal with his natural feelings of concern and fear for his oft-spiraling, danger-seeking younger brother - and how those feelings magnify with the influence of extreme danger-seeker (at least in this season) John Watson. The show wants you to believe so badly that he's Moriarty in "A Study in Pink", which I don't think works even if you know he isn't Moriarty - there's a warmth to Gatiss' Mycroft that, even while he's doing incredibly ominous things like shutting off all cameras in a busy intersection, still comes through.

My favorite character is Moriarty. I haven't mentioned this very much here, because why would I, but my favorite character type in media is "theatrical abject shithead". It's why I cosplay Bakugo from My Hero Academia and loved everything about Akechi in Persona 5. Hell when I was a kid, I told teachers that when I grew up, I wanted to join Team Rocket. I love the theatrical shitheads. And boy, is Moriarty some sort of theatrical shithead. I don't DISAGREE with hbomberguy pointing out that, as written, Moriarty is a complete mess of a character, a queer-coded literal terrorist with no motivations besides "I did that because I'M CRAAAAZY!"... but he's my queer-coded literal terrorist, ok? I could write a whole paper on all the harmful stereotypes inhabiting this version of Moriarty... but I can't deny that the flamboyance and violence pulsing just beneath the surface of Andrew Scott's performance was the beating heart of that show for me. Sure, Sherlock and John, at least early on, were a compelling duo, but the show was at its best with Moriarty pulling strings for inexplicable reasons in the background. I love him.

(An aside: watching Sherlock made me remember how hilarious it was to see basically every major actor from the show in one of my favorite movies of all time, 1917, to the point that I actually kinda laughed in the theatre thinking about it.)

The entirety of the first season also is more devoted to actual crime-solving and detective work than I remembered the show being. I think that works strongly in its favor, and as I recall things from later seasons, drifting from that element definitely hampers the show greatly. In particular, while the lazy and uncomfortable Orientalism of "The Blind Banker" is still incredibly glaring, the actual mystery at the core of it is very excitingly tracked and easily followed while watching. The fact that John is treated like an equal (mostly) throughout only enhances my thoughts on that. "The Great Game" is a little more slapdash (and hurt by the fact that the entire Vermeer section would be solvable with a smartphone nowadays), but you can still make connections mentally with most of the cases and deduction/investigation is being shown logically. (hbomberguy cites the Golem as a problematic logical leap akin to some of Season Two's dumbest, and I can't agree. It's a reasonable suspension of disbelief to assume Sherlock knows about assassins and is followed by some more sensible investigation and inspection of the Golem's victim. The sequence of Sherlock fighting the Golem, however, is very, very silly.)

Related to that... the autopsy doctors on this show are fucking AWFUL at their jobs. Like straight-up negligently awful. How in the actual fuck did they not investigate the puncture marks on Connie Price's body? How did they not notice a highly distinctive heel tattoo on three recently-murdered corpses? Is Molly the only vaguely competent person in the mortuary? My partner and I were extremely amused that, while Lestrade and his police force are thankfully shown with much more intelligence than in other Holmes adaptations and BBC!Watson wouldn't think jam is a clue, the writers seem to have shunted the stupidity straight to the invisible autopsy doctors.

The first season also does a good job of making Sherlock seem like an overly intelligent if socially stunted human being, instead of the condescending prickish intellectual Ubermensch he ends up becoming as the show progresses. "A Study in Pink"'s ending being Sherlock throwing aside his deduction of the cabbie's killer when he realizes it's Watson, unconvincingly lying to Lestrade and insisting he's in shock before rejoining the other man and genuinely bonding with him, is remarkably compelling as fulfillment of a promise we get from Lestrade earlier in the episode - "Sherlock Holmes is a great man. One day he may even be a good one." My memory is admittedly faulty, but part of why "The Empty Hearse" turned me off so viscerally was Sherlock's (and to an extent, Mycroft's) insufferable growing smugness, particularly where explaining plans or mysteries to John. We get told often that Watson humanizes Sherlock and that the two have a strong bond throughout the series, but Sherlock gets much more dickish in general as the series progresses. One thing I do remember with stark clarity is that after being utterly chastised at a Christmas party in "A Scandal in Belgravia", Sherlock does visibly treat Molly MUCH better throughout the remainder of the show. So, uh, why did we lose that energy with the show's central pairing?

Speaking of the show's central pairing, the queerbaiting starts SO EARLY on this show. I want to make it clear that obviously the benefit of hindsight and knowledge of how the show ends really colors a lot about the Johnlock relationship now, and as a society, we're more aware of what queerbaiting is and what it looks like, which will obviously alter how I perceive these interactions now. I also want to make it clear that I never really shipped Johnlock outside of just kind of assuming that it would be canon because everyone seemed really convinced of it. (I was an absolute degenerate that shipped John with Moriarty. On top of enjoying theatrical disasters, I enjoy ships with an abundance of chaos and impossibility.) There's some biases at play here.

Even so, we are not far into the episode where John is protesting that obviously he needs a second bed in 221B to Mrs. Hudson, he's not gay! The scene in the restaurant has such an aggressively shippy energy to it (despite Watson's consistent denials) that I actively commented on it to my partner as it was happening, saying "the queerbaiting happens WAY SOONER than I thought!" It's distracting and has aged absolutely terribly. The worst by far is John quipping, after being removed from a bomb vest at a pool in "The Great Game", that people will talk because of Sherlock ripping his clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. Why is Watson's heterosexuality so fragile that he's thinking about gossip rags as he's actively recovering from a near-death experience?!

(Aside: I'm aware that last point is not as effective when you think about the fact that I shipped two characters whose sole canonical interaction was one man kidnapping and forcing the other into a bomb vest. In my defense, a) I love mess and b) John never quips about thinking people will talk because he got kidnapped.)

Moriarty's first appearance in "The Great Game" sees him as Molly's fake boyfriend slipping a phone number to Sherlock, which lead to my partner commenting about how distracting it also was, on top of the queerbaiting, that almost every single person on the show has some sort of deep metaphysical attraction to Sherlock. Those people aren't on the lighting and cinematography team for sure; Benedict Cumberbatch is lit ominously and sometimes demonically throughout the first season, highlighting his antihero and brusque nature effectively. But many, many characters in the show - just in season one, Molly, Moriarty, multiple characters of the day, the Cabbie, and John - are all drawn to Sherlock and his very special brain and his very sharp cheekbones. Signs of a big future problem come through in this way, where the show starts sidelining Watson as our central figure and puts Sherlock squarely at the center of everyone's universe and makes lesbians fall in love with him.

(My partner also laughed pretty hard at how obvious Moriarty's pratfalls were as Molly's boyfriend, noting that the show was pretty bad at hiding who Moriarty was every time it came up.)

Some of the seeds of Sherlock's destruction are sown in this first season, obviously. The big one I haven't touched on is the ending cliffhanger itself. Moriarty has John and Sherlock trapped in the pool, tens of sniper sights trained on them, and says that he can't let them escape. Amazing cliffhanger here! It is not fulfilled on at all, but because Andrew Scott can carry anything on his back (including Spectre, which I cannot start talking about because we'll be here all day), the scene doesn't feel like a total waste and makes you want to hang on to find out what happens later.

But there was so much here that was delightful. All the acting is uniformly excellent, and the overt physical tics that come to define Sherlock's mind palace and mental prowess being showcased are barely evident here. The actual detective work, like I said earlier, is really involving! I don't feel like I figured out the solutions for the mysteries I couldn't recall the answers for too easily and thought Sherlock's deductive reason largely followed and wasn't too obscure. I'm still such a sucker for the show's style - that opening credits sequence is so perfectly put together, the text messages that interact with the scene and at the time made this show feel so fresh and modern to me, filming the character's faces in taxis through panes of glass and obscuring material in "A Study in Pink" to give everything an obfuscating sheen... give me all of it.

The music, too, was something I'd forgotten about and truly ended up adoring. Taskmaster (and The Horne Section's score for it) really owes a debt to Michael Price and David Arnold. So much of Sherlock's score could probably be dropped straight into a Taskmaster episode and I would have to think pretty hard to notice a difference in the show's usual musical palette. I've been eyeballing the vinyl on eBay, to give you an idea of how much I love this score. "The Game is On" is a perfect piece of music, clockwork spinning noises emphasizing the jauntiness of Sherlock as he drags Watson on his latest case before sliding into the more subdued, vaguely ominous thrum of its second movement descending into the madness of the third part, violins shrieking as the action reaches its apex.

Normally, with such a degree of pleasant surprise, I'd be eager to move forward to Season Two. Unfortunately, I know the first episode of Season Two is... a doozy. To say the least. A doozy that may get its own essay because of how doozy-ish it is.

In any case, I ended up really enjoying going back to Season One of Sherlock! Super down to talk further about the show, future write-ups, and my horrible taste in fictional ships and men - shoot me a message, reply to this post, wherever, I'll be here! <3

[the-haunted-office]

I'm gonna answer this for Doom without any prompting because I can and I want to.

From this meme: Questions for Problematic/Villain muses

2. What's something you constantly have to re-explain about your muse

I haven't had to explain this in a while, but I will now because for a while after I first introduced her, I did have to constantly re-explain it because people just did not understand that Doom is NOT mean for no reason. She has reasons for being aggressive and loud and the way she is.

When I first introduced her, she was highly aggressive towards certain muses for a very specific reason, and that reason was because those muses had been hurtful towards Thursday. This was in an rp group I used to be in, where several muses were hurtful, mean, or downright abusive towards Thursday, and when I introduced Doomsday, she wouldn't put up with that crap. She laid down the boundaries that Thursday wouldn't. And I think some people took it personally. They personally did not like Doomsday because of her attitude and behaviors towards their muses, and because she fought back. Not only that, but because it meant their muses couldn't bully Thursday anymore. On top of that, Doom called out their muses' behaviors and I think they took that personally. At least, that is the impression I got.

Doom has been demonized for the fact that she will not put up with anyone's crap and that she will call things as she sees it. If she sees other people's muses behaving in a hypocritical manner, she will call them out on it. If she disagrees with someone, she will speak up. If she thinks someone is being an asshole, she will call them an asshole. She will not lie down and take it, she will fight back.

She isn't always right, though. Of course she isn't perfect and she does make mistakes. And she has her own toxic behaviors. The fact is that she is a multi-faceted person and isn't "just mean" or "just being a bitch" just because you don't like how she's treating your muse. She 9.9 times out 10 has a reason why she's being aggressive towards someone.

Now, as for being mischievous? That's a different story altogether. :p

[strange-calathea]

Okay one other person expressed interest so I'm gonna do it :3

The wilds headcanons, ships, and predictions for how the next season might have gone if it wasn't cancelled!

⚠️ Spoiler warning! ⚠️

Obviously starting with the girlss<3

Now of course I love shoni and leatin, I think we all do however I am a multishipper and a huge fan of dotin they would so live together after everything and it would be adorable!!!

Aromantic Rachel is also sooo real to me she's pretty much the only one of them that I don't remember saying anything about romance?

Also there's Nora who I'm really just unsure about she scares me a little :3 I do LOVE her outfits tho the pants that look like skirts are fucking awesome!!! Also love the way she subtly directs everyone shes sooo manipulative<3

Martha might be the exception to the all of them are queer thing she's like the group ally

This is not to say I don't absolutely LOVE her character I love Martha soo much I loved the arc with her becoming the group hunter and then the bunny thing and just UGH I love it all

Also she def has weak ankles this doesn't really matter but I also have weak ankles so I'm projecting it onto her

Also about Shelby being the new confederate, I saw someone somewhere wondering why she would do that so I really wanna explain that since I totally get it. Of COURSE she would want to stay on the island it's where she learned what love REALLY is. It's the same reason she did nothing when she saw the boat.

Now the boysss they're sooo gay (and I might talk more about them than the girls I'm sorry there is a bias because I'm gay (also they have the craziest shit going on?? Most of the girls problems are discussed and dealt with in the show lol))

AND IM STARTING WITH HENRY I love him

he's an emo theatre kid he's def queer and I'm gonna project again, I hc him as omni <3

I also think Hen and Ivan would be a cute pairing & I think Ivan would constantly play the song emo boy by Ayesha Erotica to annoy him<3

RAF. YOU POOR BISEXUAL MESS. :(

I don't even really have more to say about him he just makes me sad

IVAN HOWEVER. I have soo much to say about him so first of all, he's gay, we know this

And to get ships out of the way, Ivan&hen and Ivan & Kirin are my favs

SO I wanna talk about the scene with him and Kirin because it's so hard to watch and it's so like???? So I just wanna explain how I see it, a young black gay boy catches his schoolmate crying over a former coach at their school because he was very close to this coach, but he recently got fired for doing blackface in the past (NOT excusing it, just to acknowledge that there is a CHANCE he has genuinely changed over time) assuming Kirin was upset because the coach was a father figure to him? We never get to see kirins family life but I feel like we can assume he's being raised by a single mother? And Ivan rightfully assumes Kirin is excusing the coachs actions but I think Kirin is just grieving because someone he looked up to turned out to probably be a bad person

And about why Ivan egged him on, sometimes when you live with everyone saying those things to you, you begin to just expect it. He was so convinced that somebody like Kirin COULD NOT dislike him for any other reason that he practically put the words in his mouth. And I am gonna defend Kirin because he's NOT an asshole ! I feel like I shouldn't have to explain any of this but I might as well atp, when someone expects the worst of you, you give them what they want. So to summarize: assumptions and misunderstanding caused their problems and I think they should talk it out

Okay since that also counted as my thoughts on Kirin it's time for my hcs for him!! Gaygaygay so gay love him & Ivan and he's very touchy and protective with Josh (see: his response to Josh setting himself on fire),,, I don't think it's requited tho. I also just love the way he doesn't hesitate to believe and defend Josh

To conclude my thoughts on Kirin, a community meme :)

Scotty & Bo get to share a section because they are practically attached at the hip

They are sooo in love and they're gonna spend their whole lives together :3 I also really love both of them their characters are so interesting and so special to me

Josh is the team ally, or he tries to be alternatively I will accept the idea that he's aro

And I'm not gonna talk about Seth because I'm not a trained psychologist! So I don't know wtf is going on there

However I do think that Nora might also be in the little radio station place Seth was in at the end of season2 unless it was like Gretchen's way of making sure he can't hurt anyone else? Just put him in his own little box then he can't fuck it up!

In conclusion, I love the wilds:3 and please tell ur thoughts and headcanons!! I would love to hear what other people think about this show or what I've said about it!!!

[genderlesshades]

okokok so I know I meme on the radiance and the pale king a lot, but I'm also kinda going "god damn what a terrible situation to be in" at all parties. Mb its just cause I haven't read the lore in a hot minute, time span? I'm having 4 am thoughts don't mind me. This may not even make sense in the morning lmao. just enjoy the ramblings if ya want yall

anyways, To have an entire group of people completely abandon one god in favor of another in such a short timespan? well usually that happens cause of stuff like genocide or cultural genocide. And maybe I just happened to miss it, but I don't think that happened in hallownest. But maybe it did and maybe thats why radiance got so fuckin mad. Or maybe the moths just slowly drifted away towards PK, which can happen over generations. But it also sort of seems like. self destructive ig. Radi destroying the people of any neighboring kingdom because she's *furious* man. so upset, and angry, and lonely even. Like, imagine being a very powerful individual with a very loyal fan base only for some weird ass fork looking thing to steal that fan base away from you. Well, more like a kingdom but ig fanbase may be the online equivalent. But here comes some fuckoff weird fork lookin man, steals your look, steals your people, and then fucks off. AND. Also stole folk away from some other nearby local gods? the fucks up with that?? fuck you actually PK. I'm gonna idk, wipe out ur cities. that's pretty reasonable for a god's reaction right?

"hold on hades, she also targeted others who weren't aligned with PK. Why would radi target them? weren't they hurt by the PK's actions?" Yes great question invisible audience. But here's the thing, people don't react reasonably all the time. Radi basically lost everything. Her people started drifting away from her until there was one singular old moth left who still seemed to care about her still. And they were alone. Her and her singular moth follower were oh so painfully alone, with nothing but ghosts to keep them company.

So she lashes out. Ignoring the fact that causing a massive plague is generally extreme cause she's a god, we can still recognize that she is very deeply hurt, upset, and angry. And normal people when hurt, upset, and angry, don't usually think clearly. They tend to say things that hurt people, or sound agressive, or even be agressive. Some people may isolate even, though different people do different things. Radi's reaction was to lash out in a way that hurt anyone around them.

"ok, but what does this have to do with places like Greenpath or Deepnest?" GREAT question invisible audience. Sometimes people react to things that are associated with a certain topic with the same reaction as the certain topic. There are certain songs I disliked until I saw a really cool video go along with it, which made me like the song. The brain is weird like that, and likes to categorize things (even if we don't recognize it as categorizing). Add in a "me vs them" mentality and it only gets worse. That is likely what happened here. Radi gets pissed off at PK, and likely also at the white lady. Well, the white lady has control over greenpath now, unlike Unn, so fuck the greenpath too cause that's technically part of PK's domain. WELL he *also* has an alliance with the mantis tribe, and control over the mushroom tribe. So fuck them too.

Maybe Deepnest would have been safe if Herrah and PK didn't have their deal, but they did, and now Deepnest is terrible too for siding with PK. Maybe the hive or outer edges would have been safe, but the colluseum houses itself in a wyrm's body. And maybe at that point, radi was certain that it was her vs the world, so she *had* to protect herself/defend her honor.

"well didn't the PK deserve all that?" I mean, if you look at it from Radi's perspective sure! but what about PK's perspective? He starts up a pretty cool kingdom, has a lovely wife, is well loved by his subjects, and Radi's followers stsrt deciding to follow him. He can't control that, though he could certainly try to discourage it. He tried being friendly, though perhaps it is in his nature to want to consume all he can. To control as much as possible, to become the bigger enemy. Perhaps he and radi just fuckin. Poofed up at each other like chickens do and instead of anyone going "hey man, whats goin on? maybe we can figure this out with our words" they just keep poofing up at each other, mad at the other for different reasons.

So his people start getting sick with this religious disease caused by what's clearly a rival God. So he tries to figure out the source, and to find solutions with the least drastic measures. But it slowly builds to more and more desperate attempts until he discovers the void, something very opposite of what he and the radiance is. So he casts the children of him and WL into the void, and waits. Because *surely* this will work. a container to hold this fucker in. Trains up this container so they're really good at being a container. Well, the container is leaky and he doesn't realize until it's too late. The infection comes back, and he loses everything he once had, just like Radi did.

I think messing with the void might have led to his death, just like it does with Radi, just maybe less aggressively. Both were so desperate to try and maintain something that was never going to last, only to be consumed by what's nearly a literal definition of an end.

Maybe if they would've just talked, they would still be around with thriving communities. Maybe they would have been friends, or akin to siblings maybe. Perhaps PK and WL would have had children, and deepnest may have slowly crumbled apart from not having an heir of royal blood. Maybe Unn would regain their strength and join the other gods. Who knows what the possibilities could have been.

It's a shame, though, knowing such a connection could never happen.

[near-seth-experience]

Personal vents, dont mind me. I'm really going through it, and tbh I just need to lay everything out on the table. I think it kinda helps me process/ look at the full picture.

Lately, I've been feeling like the people I call my friends don't really give a shit about me. Every time I try to vent in one of our discords, I feel like I get brushed off (kind of like that, "Oh no! Anyway..." meme, tbh), and it's been ongoing for a long time, so I've stopped bothering unless something really gets to me. Recently though I've made it known that I'm struggling pretty badly, ive gone radio-silent and have been isolating, and next to no effort has been made to check on me over the course of the past 2 weeks. The closest thing I have gotten in acknowledgment was a gif or two sent in consolation.

On top of that. Only one person remembered my birthday and sent a message (kind of a bummer considering I keep track of all of theirs and have given gifts to them all over the past two years). The amounts of times I check on them and support them is severely disproportionate to their reciprocation, and I'm really beginning to feel like I'd be better off alone.

a friend-of-a-friend who makes me uncomfortable for multiple reasons was brought into a shared space and now it feels I'm being replaced by them.

I've been unemployed for over a year,

I haven't been on antidepressants or my arthritis medication in over a year,

I can't get a full night's sleep, I struggle to stand up/sit down, and it's even been a challenge lately to pull off a shirt or step my second leg into a pair of pants. My mobility is the worst it's ever been.

My psoriasis is completely out of control, both in terms of surface area and levels of inflammation. I'm constantly scratching my patches and breaking skin, making myself bleed. Seriously, it's this bad:

a collections agency is apparently on my ass now trying to get $4k out of me because last year my specialty pharmacy apparently didn't get paid properly for my arthritis medication through their copay assistance program.

I interviewed for a job on 5/1, was told they'd keep me updated two weeks later, and it's been a month since that, so I'm anxious that this job ghosted me, which really sucks because it's something that I could have done confidently and now I feel hopeless since there doesn't really seem like there's anything in my area that I am physically able to do. (I need an office job with next to no experience required, preferably not customer/public-facing)

My left foot has been swollen since March and my rheumatologist has been hoping that getting me back on the arthritis medication would resolve the issue, but the state's shitty Medicaid isn't wanting to cover it, and the medication manufacturer's support program wants to know info about my family's income to determine my eligibility (but I'm 30... they don't need my family's pay-stubs. Fuck that) so I gotta put my foot down and tell my doc that I'm at my wits end and he just needs to try getting me a different medication because at this rate I'm not gonna get any relief til 2025 at the earliest.

I'm stuck living with Trumpy parents who go to a culty church, and I feel as though I can't speak my mind or refuse their expectations while I'm freeloading under their roof and eating their food.

I made a happy pride tweet earlier in the month that talked about how and why I identify certain ways on a Twitter that's under one of my other anonymous handles away from family, and my sister stalked me, found it, and told me as much. (She's the least bigoted which is a silver lining but I don't share those personal details to family for a reason, so it felt like a huge breach or privacy, and i havent tweeted in two weeks because i dont know if i should block her, change the @, or remake the twitter all together. But it's tied to other stuff... so it's as if it's just... contaminated, i guess?)

I turned 30 and I'm still in the "years without relationship = years alive" crowd so this year's birthday was just another big wave of loneliness and feeling pathetic.

[feralkwe]

4, 8, 16 and 26 for Kit from the ask meme? :D i'd copy the questions in but i think i'd run out of space with that wall of text lol

haha probably! in fact i'm gonna put this under a cut!

4. how does your wol's echo manifest itself? do they see visions as they happen? all at once? delayed? do they get any physical symptoms from it?

the echo as i understand it is purely hindsight/after the fact (and it is entirely possible i am forgetting instances where it might be otherwise?) so i'd say it's largely a clear, all-at-once thing. in-game it reads to me to be a little painful, or at least distressing. i imagine it to be like a sudden onset headache that maybe leaves behind it a bit of nausea when it passes. it doesn't look pleasant by any means. that said, kit has a high pain threshold, so don't let her fool you. it hurts, she's just determined to grit her teeth through it an soldier onward.

8. how good is your wol at taking care of their armor/clothes? do they mend them themself? pay to gave it fixed? just change it when it gets old?

i would say that her axe she maintains herself with loving attention to detail. she's probably an axe nerd like holga from d&d: honor among thieves, and will correct you on what type of oil and how often you should use it to keep that blade in good shape. this has nothing to do with the fact that kit specifically has the axe of light from sos ex. i'm also sure that rava viera learn to maintain and even make their gear themselves, so whatever she left golmore knowing, she's only enhanced along the way. if there are things she's unsure of, she would absolutely seek out an expert, but she would definitely want to learn to do it herself.

16. is your wol good at cooking? what's their specialty? what can they never get right no matter how hard they try? what flavour profile are they good at cooking? what do they eat on the road?

again, i imagine the viera of golmore to be very communal people, so i am sure kit has at least passable cooking skills. she could probably feed a lot of people in a sustainable way if needed, so the profiles would be of a generic appeal for the broadest demographics. that said, i don't think she likes doing it. food on the road is probably dictated by circumstance: inns or taverns if available so she can get a hearty, hot stew or (if she's lucky!) a really spicy dish. if not, whatever travels best. food is necessity that has to be dealt with, but good food meant to be enjoyed is a treat.

26. what does your wol think about lying? is it unacceptable to ever lie, are white lies okay, are they a pathological liar? how do they feel about people who lie to them?

ooh this is a meaty one. kit does not appreciate being lied to, even in a mild way, or manipulated with half-truths, even for a good reason. it definitely depends on the level of contrition from the liar regarding the lies told, and she does try to approach it with the context of why it was deemed necessary. urianger is the most complicated example of how she views it. the first time was hard. it hurt because it was him and minfilia was the cost. the second, she felt like his hand was forced, and he went out of his way to make amends. right or wrong, she held/holds that one against g'raha, and she's still not fully over it (but trying). her grudge against g'raha will take time, and they need to have an actual meaningful conversation about it. venat/hydaelyn? well, some things will just die hard, and that's all i will say about that here in this specific post lol.

thanks so much for the ask!