#the only reason i knew this movie EXISTED was bc people were talking about how it was getting no advertising | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shoobydoowapandscoobysnacks · 1 year ago

Text

It’s been a while since I’ve shared some thoughts, so let’s do it. Last Saturday has been on my mind for a bit now so I’d like to write about it. It was cool, my boyfriend and I went to this dive bar we went to one time before. It was cool the first time, there was this bartender that was like the perfect balance of social and a little awkward. She made a lot of convo the first time we went there and then made a really pretty free shot for us that day too. And the drinks we ordered were STRRROOONG lol. But anyways yeah we went there again after maybe a month and she was there and welcomed us in again. Me and Zach saw the tequila selection and saw it was a little minuscule but said fuck it and went for patron. She said she’d give it to us for the price of the cheaper tequila and we were already just like “oh shit that was nice” and then he was hungry so he got food and I just got a marg and he got a corona too. We then noticed she didn’t even put it on our bill so we got shots for free. Literally hella nice! We all made convo for a good amount of time. Started talking about movies and stuff we’d recommend and it was cool.

I noticed that she made my drink and got his but had these shot glasses upside down next to both me and Zach. I didn’t want to sound dumb so I didn’t say anything about it at first but then I finished my very strong marg lol and asked Zach if he knew what it meant bc I’m not as much of a bar girlie lol. He said he didn’t know and that I should ask her. So I did I was like “hey this might be a dumb question but what do the upside down shot glasses mean?” And she said “it means you guys have another drink lined up” homegirl gave us a drink for free now too be we didn’t preorder those ones. So we literally only payed for one marg and one corona. It was just super nice. I know it sounds just like a quick little thing of “wow she’s really nice I’m gonna tip her well and enjoy and move on from that night” and of course we did tip her well💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼 haha. But yeah I think the thoughts just stuck in my head

Like someone just being nice. It made me feel like I existed. Idk how to phrase this right but I feel a little nonexistent outside of my close circle. Like I don’t say any of this in a “feel bad for me” “pity me” kind of way, just more so outside people are very straight forward w me. Take like, me going to Starbucks. It’s very straight to the point, I ask if I could get something, they say yes, and I pay and we both say “have a good one” it’s never like people ask me questions. That’s another example, like take my coworkers for example. It’s actually become this running joke at work that I ask everyone a bunch of questions and get coworkers to tell me their whole lives and they don’t know literally anything about me lol. Lol I don’t ask them to snoop or anything I just like knowing background/ knowing how I should talk to them in future work situations/ also bc it makes the time go by faster. And so it’s not like I consider myself closed off, I just don’t tell people information about me unless they ask. And they don’t. And so once again I’m not asking people to. I gave all my reasons to why I ask people questions but I do recognize people don’t ask much about me. And I don’t feel down about it or anything. More so just neutral. But I will say it did feel cool that that bar tender was nice and asking Zach and I about ourselves and then gave us some freebies. It’s just not something I’m used to and just felt nice.

Another subject that’s been on my mind I think the past two months is just this weird thing that’s happening w my boyfriend. The beginning of my boyfriend and I being together, he was underweight. Was for most of his life and then he went through a bad situation that stressed him out more and led to him being even more underweight. He had a nutritionist and then maybe two months after we got together he no longer needed one bc he was eating good and at a healthy weight. Both him and I definitely gained some relationship weight and ayo I’m not hating on it. It means we’re happy. Weight fluctuates and sometimes I personally can get self conscious about it but it’s life, it’s all just fucking bags of flesh carrying our beings, but I digress. Anyways I remember him saying maybe three months ago his coworkers have been bringing up that he’s gained weight. “Has a belly now” and he was pretty light hearted about it. He said to me, “yeah I’m eating and also I’m getting close to 30, metabolism changes lol, but I think I am going to start exercising again. “Which I think, great reaction to that. I’ve never been on the other spectrum of being underweight, but I assumed at first hearing “you’ve gained some weight, you look good” to him would be nice to hear? But then that weird belly comment made me feel a way. I kept it to myself bc I’m not projecting my own insecurities onto him. But I heard it a lot more often from his coworkers. It’ll be like him and I are on the phone together and you’ll hear one coworker he hasn’t seen in a while be like “dang *bfs last name* you gained a couple lbz “ or “your face is looking fuller” and all these comments are said in this “light hearted” condescending tone. It continued to bug me tbh, bc Zach would just be like “haha you’re right” and idk it’s just weird for people to say. One instance got me really upset though, I went to chilis w him and one of his coworkers. And you could tell their work relationship is that she picks on him. But that hangout where we were maybe there hour and a half to two hours. She was ripping him to shreds about his weight. It made me actually upset. He laughed it all off and I didn’t feel comfortable commenting bc I don’t know their relationship like they both do. But it made me physically uncomfortable how much she was talking about his weight. The hangout ended and the first thing he said to me was “jesus Christ, she went in on me today” and I was like “yeaaaah…. Those were all super weird comments to make. I wasn’t a fan, I just didn’t know if you guys always talked that way w each other.” And he was like “yeah that’s the norm.”

It just it made me so mad that people are talking like that w him. It got brought up again a few days ago when he was getting through his gate while we were on the phone and one of his coworkers said “looks like you gained some happy weight” and Zach was just like “haha don’t say that “ and he left the gate and I just said everything. Why the fuck are his coworkers SO weird. He’s in the military and I know that involves being physically fit and I’m sure there’s a fair share of eating disorders in that place bc of it, it’s just really disturbing how much people have said things to him about it. Like I thought the whole commenting on weight was something our aunts and uncles did and would die out in that generation. Not continue onto people our age. I thought people knew better. Idk if he’s getting more comments bc people think they could say it bc he’s been skinny his whole life compared to someone who’s always been bigger you assume you shouldn’t say that to them. I just hate how comfortable people feel to comment on is weight. It makes me mad for him. He’s definitely not a person who gives a shit about what people say (genuinely one of the reasons why I think he was meant to be in my life, so I could be better at that) but it makes me upset people say these things to him. Like why not just be a normal person and make small talk? Why talk about the way you’re perceiving someone physically.

He’s so fucking cute and I love him so much. I just want him to be treated respectfully and I don’t want him to eventually be self conscious bc people feel entitled to making these weird and rude ass comments

Those two things have been on my mind heavy though. Just needed to blurt it out. I know it’s going into the void of tumblr but it was nice to get these thoughts out

#personal

3 notes · View notes

idksmtms · 3 months ago

Text

gold rush (Kerry Von Erich x reader) - evermore series

evermore series

A/N: After writing literally only angst about David, I thought I would write… a different kind of angst with Kerry. I had way too much fun writing similes and metaphors with gold…

Summary: Kerry had always been a golden boy in the town, first with the Olympics talk, then with his wrestling career. And you? You had just been a girl with a crush, that’s all.

Word count: ~2.6k

Trigger Warnings: 18+, she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, light angst, a hint of movie spoilers, unrequited love, turbulent teenage emotions, just vibes of liking someone who doesn’t know you exist and the warnings that come with that, all the good and bad emotions that come with a crush, kind of happy ending bc I couldn’t help myself, (please let me know if I missed any)

Disclaimer: This is based solely on the portrayals of the brothers in the movie, not the real people. I do not own any of The Iron Claw characters. I do not claim to own any of The Iron Claw characters. I do not own any pictures used nor do I claim to do so.

Always appreciate comments, likes, and reblogs :)

Ever since you could remember, the Von Erich family had been the talk of the town. From tragedy to stardom and everything in between. Which meant that ever since you could remember, you had known of Kerry Von Erich’s existence.

It started in highschool. He was a couple years ahead of you, but he was a sports star, so everyone knew who he was, regardless of grade. Football, wrestling, athletics, any sport under the sun was his forte. Which also meant the teachers loved him and went easy on him, meant he was friends with basically everyone, revered by people for the success he brought. And he was fun, always smiling, always laughing, always ready to party, which definitely helped his popularity. He was fashionable, a long tumble of dirty blond locks on his head that never quite became neat but added to his charm, a pair of nice jeans to add to his casual cowboy look, or a leather jacket for that hint of bad boy that everyone in highschool seemed to crave for some reason. He had all the makings for a golden child, meaning every day at school was a goldrush for those desperate enough to seek it.

But not you. It wasn’t even on purpose, in all fairness. You didn’t hate him or anything, you just happened to be a little younger, you ran in circles that didn’t really overlap with his. While you read books in your room, he was running laps on the field. While you drank sickly sweet chocolate milkshakes with your friends, he partied with his. No overlap.

But that didn’t mean anything to your poor, traitorous heart, because eventually the irrational little creature that sat in your chest and made you feel crazy decided it wanted in, even if it was secretly, and even if you didn’t like it.

It started slow. You had always known he was good looking in a unique sort of way, how his face naturally fell into this almost pouty expression when he was listening or simply relaxing. He had a wide smile that he doled out without care or caution, and a huffy sort of laugh that could be heard all the time. You remembered this one time when you had been leaving school, and the parking lot was right next to the field, separated only by a chain-link fence. He was there, standing around with some friends while waiting for his turn for whatever exercise the coach was putting them through. He wore a pair of baggy shorts and a tank top, but you could already see how muscular and big he was compared to the others. One of his biceps was probably as big as your head even then. But what had caught you in the moment was the thin headband he was wearing on his forehead, a line of red that held back the sweaty bangs of his mullet. That image had stuck in your head for some reason. You recalled it later when you were sitting at your desk, trying and failing to write a history paper. Each time you brought the pen back down and began writing a few sentences, your mind would suddenly trail off to that look, how fluffy his hair looked, to the way he threw back his head and laughed and clapped one of his friends on the shoulder. You wondered what he could be laughing at, what kinds of things he found funny, and then scolded yourself for getting lost in thought about something so random and pathetic when you had better things to be doing (like said history paper).

Then, it really started to hit you at the first houseparty you ever went to. Everyone was milling around with red solo cups, pointing each other to the table with the bottles or the glass door at the back of the room that led to the patio with the beer kegs and the crush of teenage boys trying to convince everyone to do a kegstand. All the lights had been dimmed and there was loud music from all directions. Loud chatter, drunken laughter, and the very faint sound of someone throwing up behind a bathroom door accompanied the music.

Your friends had decided that it was their year to raise their social status, to change their personalities and become party girls. You were quite sure that they wouldn’t enjoy it, that this was all a deluded fantasy to go along with their middle school image of what a highschool experience should be like, but went along with their new whims as any supportive friend would. You had questioned if you should follow them into the house when you had all arrived, but as only one of you could drive and she was the one most hellbent on having this experience, you knew you were too late to be having second thoughts. So in you went, clutching your purse tightly and trying not to let your shoulders curl in too much.

Once you had a drink in your hand and stood sort of near the dancefloor, the party wasn’t all bad. The music was actually quite fun and having a friend near made you feel a lot more comfortable. You had even begun lightly dancing to the music when a loud cheer was carried in from the patio and picked up by the people milling around in the living room. The crowd parted just enough for you to catch a glimpse of what had caused it, someone coming down to rest their legs on the floor after what a passerby called a ‘legendary’ kegstand.

It was Kerry, he seemed to catch the dim light perfectly even in the dark patio. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just a shiny black leather jacket left open so everyone could see the body honed by years of sport and work on the Von Erich ranch. His scruffy hair was falling all around his head and you were quite sure beer and spit were trailing down his chin and onto his chest as he sucked deep breaths in.

And suddenly he was looking right at you, through the patio doors and the gap in the dance floor, right into your eyes. Your entire body suddenly felt like it was burning. The world slowed down then, every movement around you, from the people dancing to your friend talking animatedly beside you was suddenly so hazy and… slow.

Then, just as quickly as it had started, it stopped. Because he looked away, and the world was moving slightly quicker than normal and you had to close your eyes for a moment to bring yourself back to reality. He hadn’t been looking at you. He had looked vaguely in your direction, but he hadn’t seen you. And it didn’t matter anyway. Of course it didn’t matter, because he didn’t know you, and you didn’t know him! No one knew each other and nothing had happened and you weren’t suddenly feeling a bit hot and sweaty and needing a refill.

You shook it off, scolding yourself for being so enraptured in the party atmosphere that you let yourself be lulled into a weird place where you believed Kerry Von Erich would look at you, on purpose. Maybe you did have some sort of inferiority complex when it came to the popular people, unrealised until this moment. But whatever. Didn’t matter.

Hours later, hours you didn’t know were so easy to pass at a party that you were sure would be horrendous (but were secretly enjoying very much), you ended up in a circle of conversation with a few friends, a few people you had never before seen in your life (but somehow went to your school?!), and a little gaggle of the golden child society. Kerry stood almost directly across from you, smiling at the girl who was going on a tangent about how it was unfair to have their English class read The Great Gatsby and how boring and weird it was. You cleared your throat, biting back a smile as you sipped from your drink, waiting for her to come to a slow close. You were nervous to talk, sure, but sometimes your passion (and mouth) got ahead of you.

“It’s actually not that bad,” you added quickly when she was quiet for more than a second. She turned to you, one eyebrow raised. A few other people did the same, Kerry included, but his face was passive, open, that expression just before a smile where a person’s eyes were alight. “I mean, sure, it can get a bit confusing, the language is in that old style, but the actual story is really interesting and captures a lot of themes.” You shrugged, smiling politely at her. Her face softened slightly, and you could tell that she didn’t view you as an enemy anymore, but you were more focused on watching Kerry out of the corner of your eye. He had turned to fully face you, arms crossed over his chest and his torso leaning back slightly. His eyebrows came just a little closer together as he looked at you, not questioning exactly, more simply intrigued.

“Aren’t you a freshman?” The girl asked, without malice or a smirk, just curiosity as she brought her solo cup to her lips.

“Uh, no, no, I’m a sophomore,” you told her, nodding with your own words. You saw her eyebrows raise and let out a little huff of a laugh.

“Then why have you read the book?” It was Kerry, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion and head tilted to the side slightly. You shrugged your shoulders, a little almost incredulous scoff of a laugh leaving your lips as you poked your tongue into your cheek. Feigning confidence was the best combat to the sudden flutter in your chest, the burning at the tips of your ears, and the sudden need to blabber so there was never silence on the Earth again.

“Um, because I have? I don’t know, I got it from the bookstore in town, and it’s a classic.” When they still looked at you like you had your head on loose, you shrugged again, adding “I like to read” like it was no big deal. To you it wasn’t, to them it was a weird hobby to have.

“Damn, I can’t imagine sitting down on the couch and reading a book, like on purpose,” he breathed out, shaking his head.

“Why not?” You asked, crossing one of your arms over your stomach as he looked at your face again and your insides began jumping around.

“I don’t know, there’s so much else to do,” he shrugged, “you could be out on the field throwing a football and scoring a TOUCHDOWN!” And some of his friends gathered around him at those words, cheering loudly and shoving and shaking each other so the circle dispersed and Kerry was swept away to somewhere else. He looked back at you, just for a moment, a fleeting look where you met eyes and he was smiling just a little as if he had enjoyed the few sentences you guys had shared, barely even a second long, then he was swept up in the guys from the football team and you couldn’t see him anymore.

And from then on, he was all you could think about, like a detective obsessed with their case, a prospector stuck on the thought of all the gold waiting for them in California. That night when your friend had driven you home, you had talked and laughed in the car but couldn’t help yourself from slipping in mentions of Kerry in the conversation. When you were laying in bed you thought about his voice, when you closed your eyes you saw him standing casually, jacket open. Even when you went back to school, you began searching him out with your eyes. You always knew where he was if he was in the same room as you, always had a little bit of your attention on what he was saying or wearing or simply just… him.

And you began to live for those moments. Though life had gone back to exactly the way it was before the party, you hadn’t. Every brush past in the hallway, his sleeve gently grazing your arm, made the world feel unsteady, like you were falling and waiting for the inevitable hit to the ground.

You went through all the emotions, the elation and giddiness and weird jumping feeling in the stomach. Then, as the time passed and absolutely nothing changed except this sudden and painful awareness of his existence, you slowly moved into anger and intense sadness, self-loathing and a feeling of wanting to rip your hair out.

You weren’t a prospector like the rest of these people. You didn’t want to be a part of the goldrush. You didn’t like the gold rush. You didn’t like the way you suddenly started blushing when you saw him walking down the hall, turning your face back to your locker as if that would hide the burning even from yourself. You didn’t like that when he was in the room, your eyes were drawn to him, that your thoughts wandered to questions about what it would feel like if he held your hands in his, if there were calluses on his fingertips or how strong of a grip he liked to use. Questions about what it would feel like to love him. You didn’t like the rose-coloured glasses someone had suddenly shoved over your eyes.

And of course you kept this all to yourself. You had spent years cultivating an image as someone unbothered by highschool politics and the worship of those deemed ‘popular’. You couldn’t exactly be seen fawning over the person right at the top of the pyramid, the shiniest nugget of gold in the river. So you kept it to yourself, spiralled in your own head, getting lost in little scenarios of him driving you around in his truck with his hand on your thigh, or walking around the picturesque town that was about an hour’s drive down the highway, before zoning back into your room and the ratty grey t-shirt you were wearing.Before reconciling yourself to impossibility and that untouchable quality that seemed to hang in the air around him.

And then one day, months later, when you had fallen deep into the throes of your secret goldrush, he came walking down the hallway during a quiet moment, when you were standing alone at your locker looking for a textbook and paused just beside you. He smiled, hands in the pockets of his school hoodie, and said “hey! Great Gatsby girl, long time no see!” And of course a million thoughts ran through your head, that you guys have gone to the same school every day before and every day since the party. That he had walked past you in this very hall earlier that morning and not once glanced in your direction. That the universe was playing a joke on you that he chose today to talk to you when you had woken up late and hadn’t given a single thought to your appearance in the morning due to a severe lack of energy.

Instead, you just smiled, closed your locker door and wittily sent back “guy who freely admits he doesn’t understand the concept of reading!” And though the comment was a little on the mean side, and you regretted it as soon as it left your lips, he began laughing and shook his head, looking into your eyes with a wide smile and a shrug of the shoulders. And suddenly it felt like you had arrived at the part where you hit the ground after the fall…

A/N: I’m sick of ppl thinking The Great Gatsby is overrated or weird because they were forced to read it in school. It’s literally one of the best books I’ve ever read if you actually sit down and analyse it and think about all the things it presents. Thank you for coming to my ted talk. (I’m so sorry that my intense thoughts about TGG came out today. I have zero control over myself).

Also, genuinely might just write a separate oneshot of the little scenarios the reader was imagining because a college/highschool Kerry doing cute things with his girlfriend is now stuck in my head.

Taglist: @nosebeers, @tourturedfolkloredepartment (a gift for bestie Jess <3)

59 notes · View notes

notaboutmeeee · 2 years ago

Text

Its been so many years so my memory doesn't have all the info anymore and yeah sadly many accounts have deactivated or videos been deleted...

And I only started watching the show during s3 but there must've been a shift in s3. Because during s1 and s2 the show and actors didn't mind talking about sterek and teasing the fans/ship. Very clearly showing they knew what it was and how many people were interested in it. Holding contests, asking for votes for awards/noms

And then from s2 to 3 suddenly stiles and derek have very little screen time together, few scenes, and even the actors mentioned it. Coincidentally in s3 both characters got new female love interests (aside from lydia, almost erica and kate in previous seasons). And who knows if it's a coincidence that jennifer/Julia looks similar to stiles (as does paige) Or just an unlucky happenstance. And that Cora was Derek's sister, and malia Derek's cousin... plus the whole bi stiles baiting which was also insane

At least s3 kinda had an interesting story so fans stuck with the show even if they weren't totally happy. (Oh and in s3 we got the danny ethan couple, so teen wolf was fine with pairing up gay characters as long as they were disposable side characters, and s5 there was Mason and corey also disposable side characters)

And because teen wolf loves giving many of its fans exactly what they don't want, we got few sterek scenes (less than s3?) In s4 and fucking kate again. But this time the story couldn't distract us plus they added so many new characters it was like a new worse version of tw...

And then hoechlin abruptly (understandably) left the show.

Not to forget the bwt interview that was quite a slap in the face to sterek fans after the cast had only spoken 'kindly' of it the years previous . And then the 'if you're watching the show for sterek you're watching it for the wrong reason' (paraphrasing, can't remember the quote right now). Plus the sterek ban..

Also during s1 and s2 there's plenty of interviews hoechlin and dylan did together (as duo or group)..and then suddenly you'll have trouble finding interviews with both together and if they are both present there'll be 10 people sitting between them not letting them interact anymore.

Actors like Colton and Holland calling themselves captain of the sterek ship... the we're on a ship video, the fake announcement with hand holding at sdcc '12

Then at cons or in interviews we have dylan and hoechlin talking about how they pitched scenes to Jeff and the writers, stiles and derek/sterek scenes. And they were ignored or given to other characters which is such a disrespect. And had fans upset bc their suggestions were scenes that would've meant sth to the characters and relationship and would've felt real and been good TV.

The fact that to this day we don't know why sterek never happened? They just ignored its existence while still profiting off of the few scenes they could squeeze in

A dishonorable mention that's important in my opinion is also how the toxic tw Fandom is also a reason some people moved away, it certainly drove me away for a while. Why would I want to be present in a Fandom where you get called a creep and weird and disrespectful and more ...

When you (sterek fandom) get shot at from all sides even though you literally played a major role in teen wolf making it to even season 3 (maybe even 2?)... and some point you have enough

But apparently mtv/Jeff didn't have enough because they wanted to bait sterek fans yet again for the movie..however sterek fans for a large part don't give a shit. Like we'll have one person sacrifice their sanity so they can make gifts and pics and clips and then only interact with that . Why watch the movie when we can actually write or create what we want ourselves?

But sure, stereks are the villains for expanding on the very limited character info, giving derek and stiles more life than Jeff ever could. For bringing a ship to life simply because dylan and hoech have such great chemistry, so Jeff can't take the credit. For creating more art for our ship than other ships did for theirs. For thinking about what was established in the show, not shrugging off their past but thinking about the fire and kate and stiles' mom and his dad's alcoholism (?). For calling out teen wolf because they refused to keep track of their lore. Getting called crazy for simply using previously established lore on sterek scenes, and deducing stiles must be Derek's anchor, that stiles and derek probably hung out a lot off screen to know so much about each other/risk their life and career for each other,that derek probably broke through a love spell bc of his trust in stiles, why did stiles have dereks name on the king, why was derek so protective of stiles who was nogitsune, ..

i've watched some sterek videos over the past few months since the movie dropped of people trying to analyze the ship and like so much of it is that you had to be there.

teen wolf fandom was one of those first fandoms that really broke down the 4th wall. davis got run off tumblr for fuck's sake and deleted his twitter if memory serves.

so much of this context is now attached to deleted twitters and deactivated tumblrs.

perhaps one day i'll dig into my tags and hunt stuff down because i remember things. things like the actor for matt dahler commenting on his character's "pretty good pair" line in season 2 and how it got fandom in a titter because it was a shoutout. teen wolf social media was good at getting engagement by teasing all sorts of utter bullshit. they were very good at the carrot and stick method to keep fans coming back again and again and again.

but these post-show autopsies lack this kind of context and over rely on the boat videos for teen choice and posey's comments.

there were a lot of things that sort of culminated together that had people shipping the pairing and abandoning the show. it was not exclusive to be a sterek shipper to eventually leave the show.

it's really kind of fascinating.

#im gonna stop before i go down a rabbit hole and start Looking for things lol #sterek #reblogged post #added my 2 cents #just some thoughts #times like these i wish i was more active on tumblr back in the day #just remembered the wolf watch of it all but i need to stop procrastinating right now #my mini rant is all over the place im sorry i tried to bring order and steucture but i failed #there could qnd should be a movie about teen wolf and sterek lol a true crime documentary haha

952 notes · View notes

icharchivist · 1 year ago

Note

surprisingly i come to your askbox bearing a3-related thoughts instead of gbf. crazy i know. anyways i finished going thru conquering misoshiosa island!! my thoughts abt it are quite scattershot but i had a lot of fun. as i mentioned previously i almost went thru this event before starting autumn loll. was fun going thru the first bit again with autumn knowledge in my pocket now. the more i hear muku talk the more i want to sit and discuss manga recs with him. like in my heart i just KNOW he read basara. i've read a pretty large amount of shoujo so i think we'd get along.

it was pretty obvious muku and omi were gonna be the pair for this cg and like. i'm pleased about it. they're just such a good pair conceptually when u consider, like, definitions of masculinity and how it might apply to both of them.

azami regarding kazunaris flyers: damn. this is, like, needlessly impressive. what’s that quote about middle schoolers having the most accurate insults. this wasn’t really an insult but it really. Strikes Deep in a way only a middle schooler is capable of.

in any other situation i would gently tell muku that he doesn't need to panic about every eventuality BUT in this case i knew sakyo was planning on leaving them to fend for themselves so i was very glad for muku and omi's preparation. i think its really fun they watched that movie together.

kazu making an itinerary for literally just the trip to the island is sooo funny to me. like he must've known something was a little messed up. do u think sakyo gave him the info and kazunari looked at it, a little miffed that izumi's first instablam post was about spring and winter having a great time without them (and masumi liked the post first) and went. eh. sakyo can have his chaos.

juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related. love natsugumi teasing tenma abt being sleepless for this trip but like genuinely. its nice that he gets to like. Go On Trips now. like thats a thing he and misumi can do and its not rly something they got to do when they were younger!

i'm going to gloss over the bit with the monkeys where misumi can talk to them bc. i really.... they even acted to the guests in part 11 i do not think this had to happen. normally im all for a3 magic shenanigans so i dont know why this one didnt gel for me lol. anyways PSA wild monkeys can fuck u up so do be careful. don't get aggressive with them. i'm not an expert or anything tho.

the fact that running on the beach is part of their training makes me think sakyo has read knb. doesnt muku give sakyo manga recs? was that not a thing? anyways i think sakyo would read knb. he seems like the type of person to read it and be like. i dont think real high schoolers can go invisible or shoot sparks out of their eyes when they're focused. but i hope he enjoyed it. speaking og knb and a3 a hurrah for team friendship. i saw ur post abt it and like. i want a sticker thats like. I Survived That One Poll Where People Were Really Mean To Muku And Yuki For No Reason. muku and momoi was such a wonderful win to see with the art and propaganda and everything. and i was really rooting for momoi since her name literally comes from momoiro. i didnt actually know there was a knb a3 alliance until this poll but im very glad for its existence bc i love both things very much and theyre both very very dear to me.

was never worried for muku and izumi in the cave bc i Knew muku was doing a hansel & gretel with the way he was acting and i was glad to see it was buttons and not food so omi found them. i think its really cute that not only did omi rush off while people tried to stop him, a bunch of other people were ALSO trying to rush off and were probably stopped. makes sense it was omi who was able to actually do it tho. hes omi after all. look at how he handled banri and juza from day one. him showing muku the flower was so nice and the cg was SO CUTE like. look at those sparkling eyes!!! i also love queen of the night flowers... and im glad they got to go to a resort on the last day.

now some misc notes:

theres this part where taichi lies down in the sand and kumons like oh thats so nice! and lies down with him and i winced so hard like noooo dont u know... sand is just like glitter (Gets Everywhere)

i also just really like that muku is. for all that he berates himself for being weak and he wants to get like more stronger and prince-like and heroic etc. he very much doesn’t seem to correlate that with how he Looks Physically? (see: how he treats yuki) and like. that means so much to me.

finally i saw tenma being annoyed on the ship and island and stuff and. i just Know he complained during the trip and also to everyone when they got back but a year later he'll do an interview for some character that's very woodsy or like he acts as a castaway or something. and i just know he'll talk about how he was able to play the character well due to his own experience of staying on a deserted island… he'll say something abt how it was enriching and taught him a lot about coexisting with nature and some bs like that etc. and after watching that interview everyone in a3 will lovingly make fun of him for it.

YOO HEY THERE! always a pleasure, always no worries <333 a touch of cutesy a3 in the curse that is my inbox.

True i remember you almost read this one by accident ahah, at least now it's all in order again. You're SO right about Muku, he'd be a delightful conversation partner about manga and especially about shoujo. I'm sure you too would get along.

Also very good point for the CG yeah, they're conceptually a very good duo on that regard, they had such a sweet dynamic this whole time, and it's soft to see them with especially just this soft over a flower.

AKJDFMLDKMFLFD Azami and Yuki fit that description so well and now there's two of them. rip Kazunari.

Ah yeah, Paranoia is Paranoia until the day you're actually right. That's Muku right here. And honestly at this point, is it overthinking or is it a correct assessment of the type of person Sakyo is. Food for thoughts. But yess it's so nice they spent some time together to prepare it all.

FOR KAZU IT'S SO FUNNY. i have to believe that, yes, indeed. Especially also with like, how close Kazunari and Azuma can be as the two travellers type, and he knows perfectly what Azuma pulled last training camp. I trust Kazunari in putting two and two together while preparing his traveler log. Like he must have known. I believe in him.

"juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related." that's such a cute way to put it. YEAH IT'S SO SWEET FROM NATSUGUMI. and yeah i'm also team "always crying when Tenma and Misumi do anything that qualifies as a normal experience" considering their specific bagage about how little they could experience of the world bc of their families.

That's a fair point for the monkeys. It was totally buckwild but yeah this might have been a little too much in term of suspension of disbelief. taking notes for how to behave with monkeys in real life, we never know.

Oh my god a3xknb alliance real and it was thanks to Sakyo all along. And yeah Muku does give Sakyo manga rec. Also Kumon is really big on sports manga and him and Muku talks about this common interest a lot, so if it's not Muku, it's Kumon's fault, but also, i want to say it's Muku because it goes with OUR alliance type. Sakyo would indulge because oh well!

And god right. Team friendship…. and right :sob: remember when people were so mean for no reason. for the sake of cartoon's dogs. :(. but the alliance this competition around was so wholesome. i'm glad you've learnt of the alliance thanks to it now! it's honestly such a sweet phenomena i love it so much. I'm so glad you like those two so much that it makes it more worthwhile <3

Muku is such a clever survivalist on that regard. and Omimi finding them was so nice. the fact so many people wanted to rush to them really is amazing. And agreed, the CG and them being able to rest up really made it worthwhile <3

wow speaking about sand like a true Anakin Skywalker type… gotta give it to him. But yeah Sand does get everywhere. also speaking of sands, remember in the beachside event where Muku and Juza have to talk out a misunderstanding on the beach a way back? Muku then mentions "next time we should bring Kumon on the beach with us". It made me so emotional that the Summer/Autumn training camp was on the beach like that because i was just thinking about how much Muku and Juza wanted to have Kumon with them there….

agreed on Muku. And he's so cool this way :( that's a reason i really love Muku a lot.

and i lOVE what you say about Tenma. He'd complain so much on the spot, but give it a bit and he'll brag about how cool of an experience it was (especially since he was with his buddies) and everyone at Mankai would tease him for it. It fits them so perfectly.

as always, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on the event <3333 next is Guy's chapter!!! be hyped ;D

Take care and it's always a pleasure <333

#ichareply #aranarumei #ichafantalks a3 #long post for ts

1 note · View note

hops-hunny · 3 years ago

Text

A Girl I’d Fall For

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Chubby!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word count: 1.7k

Request: N/A

Summary: (Y/n) doesn’t bother troublesome boys but they sure do bother her.

Warnings: none, fluff!

A/N: Tsukishima might seem a little OOC for some but this is just how I picture him sometimes. I wanted to write for him bc I love him so enjoy^^

(Y/n) wasn’t the type to fall deeply for guys she found attractive. For starters, she lived in Japan, where the population was mostly thin and if you weren’t you were practically ostracized. So she always watched from afar Making heart eyes at the guys she found attractive over the years. It was easy to do so when a lot of people spent their energy pretending she didn’t exist. All because what? She had a little extra flesh?

Besides, anytime she had made an attempt to pursue the feelings she had for guys it only went one of two ways. One, they’d publicly humiliate her. Making fun of her size and laughing at the thought of being with her only to come to her later and admit they felt the same. They wanted to love her in private and ridicule her publicly? Not a chance. Just because she was chubby didn't mean she was insecure. She knew her worth very well and wasn’t going to stand for being loved in private like that one stuffed animal you kept even though you were too old.

Or two, she’d get led on. Weeks and weeks of grey lines, blurring the spot between classmates and dating. It’d get to the point where eventually just ask and they’d act confused. “Dating? Why would we be dating? You know I only see you as a friend (L/n)-san.” men were the first one to point the finger and claim women were complicated. But if women were complex individuals, they ascended that!

It was tiring, really. (Y/n) was a kind girl but if she had to deal with one more confusing and immature man, she feared she’d lose that never ending well of kindness.

-----------------------

Last period. It was a Tuesday afternoon like every other day. After it was gaining news that the school’s volleyball team was becoming skilled, the girls all went insane for the players. A few of the upperclassmen, Tanaka and Nishinoya as she had heard them called, loved to come into their class and soak in the attention that the girls would give them while simultaneously annoying their younger teammates. Killing two birds with one stone. She never really paid them any mind unless Tsukishima was talking. Although she tried to ignore how her heart would race when looking at him, it was undeniable.

It was almost like because she knew she couldn’t have him, she wanted him more. Tsukishima had never been spotted with any girl nor had any girl who confessed to him been successful. Perhaps those were the very same reasons she found herself falling for him. If no one could have him, including her, there would be no mess or web of feelings to untangle and solve. He was simply nice to look at, nothing more and nothing less. Well, except for the rare times they’d share notes when the other missed a day of school.

“What kind of girls do I like? Well, that’s easy! I love pretty girls who can cook.” Tanaka stated, causing the girls to squeal looking between one another. The group of girls had been asking them all sorts of questions, their favorite color, movie, trying to rack in any points they could get for when the eventual confession came.

“Tch. Typical.” (Y/n) looked up at the sound of the tsundere’s voice. It was the first words he had said despite sitting within the group of people. They all quieted momentarily, the girl’s turning their attention to Kei.

“Well, what kind of girls do you like Tsukishima?” one of them asked. Her friends gasped at her boldness, preparing for the onslaught of insults that were sure to come from the man. “What do you think is the prettiest type of girl? Someone like me?”

“What about me! What about me!”

“Or me, Tsukishima-”

“Well if you’d all shut up for a second perhaps I’d actually tell you.” the girls zipped their lips, looking at him with wide eyes. (Y/n) felt on the edge of her seat as well. It was very rare for Tsukishima to participate in silly topics like this. Peering over her book, she focused her attention on him as well. “I like fuller women, with soft tummies, thick thighs. Sure other women are nice, but I think bigger women are the best. The kind of woman I’d be interested in is a plus size woman with a more reserved nature.”

(Y/n) had to practically stop herself from passing out onto the floor. Was she dreaming or had the blond actually just said that? The girls were less than pleased with his answer, grimaces and frowns on all their faces.

“Why would you want that?” one of them asked in a disgusted manner. The middle blocker slammed his book shut before glaring up at the girl causing her to back away slightly.

“What’s wrong? Can you not handle that someone doesn’t want you for once? Get lost.”

“Hey now, let’s be nice to the girls, Tsukishima. He didn’t mean that, right Kei?” Nishinoya urged, eyeing the man in a hinting manner. However he stayed quiet, glaring at his upperclassmen before opening his book once more, returning to reading.

“So the kind of girl you like is someone like (L/n)?” (Y/n) squeaked, trying to look as though she hadn’t been eavesdropping for the entire conversation. They all turned to look at her, Tsukishima included. At the feeling of all the eyes the girl looked up, her eyes locking with Kei’s momentarily before she broke it, looking down at her desk. The blond’s cheeks tinted pink but his demeanor remained the same.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

-------------------------------

After that day, all (Y/n) could do was replay the end of that conversation in her head over and over. Did he mean like her or her specifically? The thought of either made her light headed just imagining. However after that, the man’s attitude towards her changed.

“ ‘Scuse me.” a deep voice rumbled from behind her. Turning her head, she saw the man on her mind behind her, motioning his head towards the bookshelf. How long had she been standing there? More importantly, how long had he been waiting?

“Sorry.” she whispered, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks. Whether he noticed her coy nature or not she couldn’t say. However his next actions made it worse. Leaning forward, his face was directly next to her, the peach fuzz on his cheek flush against hers. He grabbed a title, scanning the words before letting out a hum of approval.

“You smell nice. Strawberry is a cute scent for you.” and with that he was gone again. Looking around, she scanned the library for an awaiting crowd or to see if anyone had put him up to it but surprisingly, no one was there.

------------------------

The other time she grew suspicious was the next week during lunch period. (Y/n) had been sitting at her desk alone, getting started on her lunch time snack. It was a slice of chocolate cake from the bakery on her route to school. Greta, the old lady that ran the shop, had given it to her for free and as most people know, free things always taste the best. The scraping of the chair in front of her caught her attention as she pressed pause on her music.

Once again the blond was there, looking at her with the same blank look he usually wore. “Can I have a bite?” she watched his lips as the words came out, focused on the way they formed them.

“H-huh?” the girl stuttered out, caught off guard by his request. Tsukishima always ate lunch with Yamaguchi-san, shooing away even his own teammates! Not to mention, he didn’t seem like the type to eat from other people.

“Your cake, can I have a bite of it.” he repeated, motioning from the cake to himself.

“O-oh! Sure. Help yours-” her eyes widened as he leaned forward, taking a bite directly from the piece that was still on her fork. She blinked in bewilderment as he stood up, patting her head.

“Thanks. Later.” the bell rang signaling the end of the lunch period and the beginning of the spiraling thoughts in her mind. Just what was up with him? He was acting strange, in a way she’d seen guys act before but she couldn’t figure out what! Was he...flirting with her? Shrugging she stood up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Only time can tell at this point.”

---------------------------

It was now Friday of that same week, everyone preparing for their weekend activities. A lot of people had been whispering throughout the day about a girl, Lavender, who had been planning on asking out Tsukishima that day. No one doubted her success at all, how could they? She was beautiful, long brown hair and hazelnut eyes. He’d be a fool not to say yes.

“So as I was saying Tsukishima, do you wanna go get ramen with me today? Like, as a date?” There was barely anyone left in the class but a few noisy stragglers, (Y/n) included.

“No. I’m busy today.” the girl’s face dropped momentarily before a soft smile found its way back onto her face.

“That’s okay! Maybe I can help you with whatever you're busy with. As in, you know, tag along?” Kei took an earbud out of his ear, standing up from his desk. (Y/n) took this as a sign of agreement and began to gather her own things.

“It’d be really weird if you tagged along on my ramen date with (L/n). Sounds like you’re taking the term ‘third wheel’ way too literally.”

“Your ramen date with who?!” Lavender and (Y/n) locked eyes as they spoke in unison. The girl squeaked before looking back at Tsukishima who still looked unphased.

“Are you an idiot? I’m taking you out.” he held his hand out for her, locking eyes with her as he did so. “Come on before they close.” she took his outstretched hand gladly, goosebumps shooting up and down her arms. As they walked she couldn’t help but notice how nice their hands looked together. Kei’s slender pale ones interlocked with her chubby (s/c) ones. An unlikely but well appreciated fit.

“Oh and Tsuki? I-I like you.”

“Obviously.”

#tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x you #tsukishima x you #haikyuu x reader #hq x y/n #hq x reader #haikyuu x chubby #haikyuu x chubby reader #chubby!reader #x chubby reader #chubby reader #x plus size reader #plus size!reader #plus size reader

2K notes · View notes

choptop-sawyer · 3 years ago

Note

Hi again 😎💫 im here to dig at ur brain again bcs i. M. Aaa sorry i just love ur stuff but. I have this kinda rly specific storyline type hc area and I'd love to hear any hcs you might get from it if its at all jr thing. But um I keep sometimes thinking back to the idea of kinda, vaguely growing up in the same area as the Sawyers, being childhood friends (and being stupid 2gether, running arount the countryside, ditching school & playing in corn fields) -

But then having to leave in your late teens to school / whatever (I mean 😎 my sappy ass also thinks abt mutual pining w Bobby but you know...... nearly unrelated.......)

Then, later on (Bobbys now Chop Top, Nubbins is..... dead I guess but also >:( maybe not, the family is up to being a mess etc) returning to town to take a break from work or whatever. N meeting up w the family again, i mean, oblivious to the bullshit they get up to but.... yk

This is a bit rambly i should probs have waited to sleep but I can't get the thought of returning to the Sawyer door wearing Bobbys tie dye sweatshirt that hr borrowed u years ago and all the impact of being a former family member bc u were also kind of an outsider or whatever but also the drama of leaving so uwu sksjd

This got so long. All i wanted to ask is: sawyer family headcanons for a childhood friend returning to town after being away for years. Rip.

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS god I love the image too of just standing in the doorway,, you're not home, you've changed a little bit, but you still fit into some of the old aspects you know so well they fit you and cover you.

Actually this is great because that fic that I swear exists has pretty much the same premise but!!! I can make this one less tragic than that one. 😎

(This is mostly Chop Top n you centric please don't mind)

Also this timeline is all fucky. I think that as soon as Chop came home from Vietnam the Sawyers had basically uprooted themselves and were living in North Texas because of the... Hardesty incident. But like can we pretend that that never happened they r still there in Newt? Just for this. (Hope you like it!)

Chop Top's Childhood Friend Returns

You don't think you would have turned out the way you did without the Sawyers.

They were the main element of your childhood, a mystery that you had to be a part of. A mystery, because they were closed off. Mistrustful. The sickness of small towns carried to the extreme, because they were mostly alone. The loneliness made them more miserable, the misery made them more isolated. A cycle, a legacy.

So it was a a miracle that you were even allowed to be apart of some of it, but you attribute that miracle to Bobby.

He seemed to think you were as much of mystery as what you thought the Sawyers were. Two kids looking through a small window into another world. But he liked that. He liked that you were something different, something new. From beyond that small world of loneliness that lived in the house.

You learned quickly that he had a desire for anything beyond that world. So he'd invite you out with him, when you were kids, to run free in the tall grass, when you got older, to drive with him to places unknown. He had a knack for finding these odd places, and he always brought you along with the music cranked up loud on the radio.

Bobby told you many times that he wanted to see the world. He had this lust for life that went beyond the restlessness of the young. He also said that he wanted to bring you along with him when he saw the world. You didn't ever mention how that always made your heart skip a beat when he said that.

Maybe you should have. But the past is the past and you can't change that.

You knew the other Sawyers too, but Bobby tended to avoid them sometimes. But occasionally, you got to hang out with them.

Nubbins was an enigma. You didn't think Nubbins was his real name. But that's the only one you heard from him, but the name situation was the least confusing thing. He was the most open person you knew. And yet you couldn't understand him, and decided at some point that you wouldn't ever. But he was fun. His energy was infectious, if he was filled with joy, you couldn't help but laugh with him too. That was Nubbins, so absent of any purposeful deceit that he was almost a mirror, you saw yourself around him, sometimes it was uncomfortable, but other times it was fun.

Bubba was the opposite. He seemed to be legitimately wary of you. Bobby once told you that Bubba didn't like to leave the house, ever. He stayed and did the chores. You wondered if he minded, being stuck with all the chores but Bobby said he didn't. It was comforting for him. Always having something set to do. You only saw him once. Nubbins had made him tag along when he needed him to hang some things from a tree. Bones from indeterminate animals, a clock with a nail through it. You don't think Nubbins actually needed Bubba to reach the branches (he climbed pretty well) but he just wanted his little brother to see his work. Bubba didn't make eye contact with you the entire time. He was wholly focused on his task of helping Nubbins. But he was gentle when he helped his brother, careful, and for that you liked him.

Drayton was... well. He was the one Bobby argued with the most. He was his brother, but with how much age between the two, it was almost hard to believe sometimes. Drayton was the one that everybody in Newt knew the most. People liked him well enough, but they said he was odd behind his back. He knew that. You don't think he trusted anything outside the insular world he and his family had existed in for years, and was at odds with Bobby because he didn't get why Bobby wanted anything to do with the world outside.

Oftentimes you would see Bobby after he and Drayton got into it. He'd be fuming, but he'd smile when he saw you. You'd leave with him whenever he came to you. These adventures were the most fun you had when you were there.

The other times you'd go off were when he'd convince you to skip school. Bobby never went himself. He didn't get the idea of all those kids sitting in classrooms for hours, doing nothing but writing and listening. Why do that when you can find things out for yourself? Get into some trouble? In his mind, he was saving you from a very boring thing.

You two knew the area around Newt well. The fields and the flat expanses were the best kind of playground. Your dreams were still set in them. A kind of sunshine filled melancholy.

Bobby told you things in the grass. His dreams yes, but his own thoughts. On music, on late night radio, on movies, on you. He perhaps thought of you as wonderful as voices on the radio, stars on the screen. He never told you that though. But your name was never far from his mouth when Bobby talked about the things he loved.

You and him loved each other as much as two kids who didn't know how to could. He was always on your mind now, with not much tangible objects to remember him with. A photograph taken by Nubbins, your faces blurred because you were laughing. A button, the pin on the back bent. A sweatshirt, which he tie dyed himself, and gave to you one night. The colors were faded. You never did get to return it.

The years away did nothing to lessen thoughts of him. No, they just blurred all together now, and the stream of the sunshine filled melancholy was almost endless. You needed a break. There was only one place you could think of that could help you with that.

So you came back. All things led back to this place eventually. Newt was dying, or dead. Didn't you see somewhere that when a ship went down, it took everything with it? You didn't want to stay for long. But you had to see all of them, you had to know that they were all not these strange figures you had dreamt up.

You went right to the house. You'd never actually been allowed inside, Bobby just always said something along the lines of 'Grandma and Grandpa are napping upstairs' or 'there's a mess' (never mind that he could care less usually about messes.) But you figured he had had a good reason. Maybe he was embarrassed.

When you knocked on the door, your heart was pounding. And that was all. Nothing happened, no indication that anyone was there. You waited, the sweatshirt was too hot but you didn't want to take it off.

Maybe you should come back another time. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door burst open, almost whacking you in the face. And there (you couldn't believe your eyes you couldn't this was a dream) he was.

Bobby had a hammer raised over his head, grinning, he was poised to swing it down, but then he saw you and he felt as if he was in a dream too.

It's been so long. He thought he made you up, a dream to carry him through misery, and you looked the part, even as you stood before him on the doorway. The light of the setting sun shone behind you, heat waves shimmered in the dusk, and you... you.

Facing each other, you stood, just staring. Over head the sky grew colorful, in the fields the grass whispered in the wind. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby dropped the hammer and grabbed for your face, and he held it, fingers digging in so tight it hurt.

"H-hey you." He said, and fell to his knees, releasing your face. You numbly touched the marks his fingers left. Bobby still looked like a man who had seen a ghost.

You called his name, and his eyes looked lost, like he hadn't heard it in a long time. He looked up at you, and you could really get a good look at him. His face was leaner, he looked sickly and wiry, but his eyes were just as you remembered. You sank down to the porch to sit with him.

"Fuck... FUCK I didn't... I- I thought ya'd forgotten all about me... uh.. uhm. Fuck! I mean, r-really! Turnin' up out of the blue like you're some kinda... ghost or whatever... WHOA man... like, ya here to return m-my, my sweatshirt? You're wearin' it, you can keep it! You look better in it anyway... heh, fuck." He rambled on and on, hands tensing and twitching as if they were moving to touch you again, just to reaffirm your existence. Did he know how glad you were to see him? Did he know that you hadn't felt right for the longest time being away?

You forgot all about the sweatshirt, the hammer he had raised with a sadistic grin. You reached out and held one of his twitching hands, and he stilled and stopped talking. There was a peace now.

It didn't seem possible for your heart to feel this full. But it was. And by god, if this wasn't the best decision you made in your life to visit your old hometown, if only just for this moment.

Bobby stood, with your hand still in his, pulling you up. He smiled at you, and you knew you still loved him, and in your deepest heart, you knew he loved you too.

But this time around, maybe you and him could love each other right.

#tcm #texas chainsaw #chop top #chop top sawyer #chop top sawyer x reader #tcm 2 #texas chainsaw massacre #slashers #slasher x reader #my writing #chop top x reader #choptop sawyer

175 notes · View notes

thatnerdinthecorner · 2 years ago

Note

I agree with everything here, but I will just add ('just add' she said, thinking this was going to be short) that I saw Uksies about a month ago and I don't think I've mentioned anything negative about Uksies Spot (don't worry, I'll get into it) before on here bc pretty much everyone I've seen talking about it has been very positive, which honestly is a really great sign, and 5-10yrs ago I don't think it would have been the same in the newsies fandom, and probably most other fandoms at least on tumblr, especially with regard to a popular white mlm ship.

That being said, I think that if the only thing that bothers people is the ship dynamic then it could be that Spot really isn't the same character, and you can like the new character portrayal while not necessarily thinking they mesh with another character. I haven't seen any Ralbert in a while and idk if it's still as popular as it was, but even when I did see it a lot it was always less popular than Sprace, bc people like the dynamic between the stoic scary one and the ridiculous gremlin of chaos more than the dynamic between 2 chaos gremlins.

I think Uksies sprace would probably have a dynamic more like Ralbert than previous versions of sprace, bc Spot was really shown more as being cheeky rather than threatening in Uksies. The difference in protayal between adaptations isn't surprising, or even necesserily bad, but when people care about a character they're going to be mad about changes made to a character (that's actually part of the reason I haven't said anything negative about uk spot bc im really happy that people don't seem to be mad about the change simply bc its different to the version they're used to), so those changes have to be done well. I don't know if there are still subsections of the fandom having this argument, but I remember people had really strong opinions about which versions of a character you prefer between 92sies, toursies and livesies, and thats not even getting into the different actors on broadway.

The broadway adaptation cut the spot introduction for time, so having him show up looking teeny tiny anyone who hadnt seen the movie would be really confused about why everyone was so scared of him. Instead, hes big (well, bigger) and tough, and threatening that way. In Uksies, Spot is small and slight, and she (and all the brooklyn newsies) seems to be really excited to be there. But everyone's still scared of her. (Also, side note, if you look on the website, shes not in the cast list, all the women besides Medda and Katherine as swing or ensemble.) It's kind of weird, and feels like they either should have cast someone else and leant into the physical intimidating presence (it's not like big women don't exist and can't be threatening) or just added back in a scene of Jack and Davey going to Brooklyn and given the audience a reason to view her as threatening. Even though the newsies were all still scared of Brooklyn, my dad (who took me bc he knew id been obsessed with it for a couple of years when I was a teenager, but who never really new anything about the show) left afterwards being confused about why they were scared of Brooklyn, bc Spot really just wasn't scary, and as a result that element of the story doesn't quite translate. (Just to clarify, this is my only criticism of Uk spot.)

From a Sprace standpoint the weird story confusion doesn't really matter (and bc a lot of people who see newsies are big fans it doesnt matter that much for the story either - like how people used to talk about the fact that if you hadn't read the hp books the later movies dont 100% make sense, yk, back before we realised jk was evil, but i digress), but it does remove the element of grumpy-sunshine bc Spot isn't portrayed as either grumpy or particularly scary.

TLDR: It's a different dynamic and probably more for the old ralbert fans than sprace fans.

west end question: i obviously love my brooklyn girls and would die for them all, but is it bad that it’s taken away the sprace dynamic for me? like i’m still 100% on board with a nowhere near canon ship and it shouldn’t affect me they’ve decided to have spot be a girl, but it lowkey has? and i feel kinda guilty about it? idk i love my proshot boys. but i am 100% here for all the uk newsies cast they are amazing and so talented and it’s definitely my favourite production by far!! idk if i’m making sense

ok part of me feels a litle baited actually because like. i feel like... im vocal abt mlm musical sprace not being a big vibe for me in the first place. so im a funny person to ask if you were looking for relief lmao. anyway here's my thesis below.

wait also if ur a white newsie fan a read-thru+rb of this would be much appreciated thank youuu (also yall have been eating up my character analyses anyway sooooo!)

TL;DR THESIS: if you're feeling genuinely let down that your ship did not see the light of day and a black girlsie spot conlon got to instead, then yes, you should reevaluate that.

followers, if you've been with me long enough, you know that i have quite strong opinions about how this show gets treated when it comes to interpretations and fandom/fanon. mostly, this is because i literally work in theater, and it's extremely backwards in my brain personally when shows get treated more like a movie or tv show than a performance piece.

im also one of the only ppl in this fandom that ever seems to dare speak on race (not the damn character smh). and anon, buddy, kiddo, this does have to do with race, gender, and sexuality.

firstly, what i think needs to be understood about newsies, is that it is theater, which means it is meant to be mutable. there is no one way. there should never be one way. it does not exist. secondly, theater does not exist in a fandom vacuum. its live every night, conceptually. theater is a live performance art.

interpretations change- it's the nature of theater. so i think asks like these really do illuminate the difference between fans of the show's content or fans of... i guess the show's culture's content.

this is a culture content ask.

one thing i really, truly, deeply need you all to understand: from an objective, script- and staging-based perspective, proshot sprace does not exist. they do not speak. they barely see each other. race does not even volunteer to go to brooklyn. the ship originates from the 1992 movie, where they do actually interact, which is why the ship has prevailed through the 90s to today. they're from the movie, not the musical.

of course, this doesn't bash the ship- it has history, and naturally fans want to create new history when they get a new source material (the musical). it's true for like every newsie ship lowkey (but also not lowkey because all the manhattan newsies do interact and sprace literally does not but thats a different post!!), which is something i do admire about the fandom- we do a lot of our own legwork here, we invent relationships and backgrounds from one-liners that could be given to tbh any frickin newsie. i respect the 30 years we have invented ships.

however.

when a huge, publicized, consistently sold out production comes along with spot conlon as not only a woman, but a woman of color (specifically black rn!) as the leader of the most feared group on stage, there becomes something much more important than a "sprace dynamic", which does not canonically exist in the musical anyway bro. you can't miss something that isn't there imo. often the story and casting within a story comes first, and goddamn if this isn't one of those times. lillie-pearl's spot brings bravado, swagger, confidence, and intimidation that is literally....fine maybe i'm being personal but it is slash gen incredible to see in technically a period piece! a black woman in leadership with that kind of assuredness! in such a popular musical! how is that not– automatically surpassing an often obsessed-over (yes i am. hinting at something here, straight girl fans) mlm ship?

and while i'm on the topic of the over-obsessiveness of mlm musical sprace, let me talk about uksies sprace. because what's also wack abt this ask is that sprace is not a hopeless case in this production- it literally has about as much 'evidence' as the proshot imo!!!!!

i got to hop over to 2nd row brooklyn seating for act 2 so i saw once and for all really close up, right. there's a moment when race is upstage letting the newsies in/down from the stairs. spot comes down and she does, in fact, share a look with him. race gives spot a nod and she keeps moving.

and like im gonna see the show again (every day i am counting my mf blessings fr), so if i'm wrong or they don't do it every time i'll correct myself, but that's what i saw with my own dang eyes on saturday. they do acknowledge each other in uksies.

and since they do, i really like. i have to ask. what is bothersome/unpopular abt uksies sprace, other than oh idk.... its not white/white mlm with a twink/manly bf trope? why can't race still love who spot is as a character, this strong and fearless ruler of brooklyn, in uksies? because tbh josh's racer...nahhhh because. this is such a side note now but they'd be so good together oh jesus am i gonna ship uk sprace. and it's not like they're 'taking away' from a queer ship because a) you can headcanon spot as a queer girl and race being trans is consistently popular and b) newsies has ten billion gayass ships bro we've been eatin for literal decades.

anon, i'm sure you didn't mean harm by this ask. i'm sure, honestly, that a lot of fans are feeling the same way as you and weren't quite sure how to put it in words. but, i'm also not surprised you sent an ask like this on anonymous specifically.

should you feel guilty about it? i don't think guilt is the right word. but i believe you should think more about how newsies is not.....static. it does not exist in one form, and it never will. if you're feeling genuinely let down that your ship did not see the light of day and a black girlsie spot conlon got to instead, then yes, you should reevaluate that. in theater, you should always question why something impacted you the way it did- a major point of theater is to discuss and think about it when you leave! i know this because ive spent three years literally studying it, to back up my thesis credentials.

thank you for reading this, newsies fandom. i do honestly say all this with love, and i hope it made u think !! ♥️

#sprace #honestly spot was so adorable #she was just so happy to be there #kind of miss ralbert #never really shipped it but it was nice to see it pop up every now and then

131 notes · View notes

ptergwen · 4 years ago

Text

4 times peter loved you and 1 time he said it

warnings: angst, swearing, and flash being a dickwad (love him tho)

a/n: i wasn’t sure if i would ever finish this bc i started in march? and gave up but i really like the concept so i made myself get back into it and AHH i’m really happy with how it turned out! fingers crossed y’all like too ahaha. also this is unrelated but send me requests!

to say you and peter were each other’s missing halves would be an absolute understatement. there wasn’t a secret you didn’t share, an inside joke you didn’t have, a text or call left unanswered, or a second you weren’t on the other’s mind.

it had been like that since your first day of freshman year. you took the seat next to peter in first period spanish, and the rest was history.

peter knew you better than you knew yourself. as cheesy as it sounded, it was true. he could guess what you were going to order at a restaurant before you picked up the menu. if you had a bad day, he’d come over to your place with tissues and hugs, without you having to ask. he knew all the little things.

you? you were a peter parker encyclopedia. you watched all his favorite movies so he could rant to you about them, and you’d actually understand what he was saying. whenever he felt overwhelmed by his chaotic life, you found a way to calm him.

you two were soulmates in best friend form.

best friends, nothing more.

♡ 1.

you had an arm around peter’s neck as you picked at some fruit on his lunch tray. his head was resting comfortably against your cheek, whole body leaning on you. impromtu cuddle sessions weren’t unusual for the two of you. they worked in both of your favors. peter was your own personal heater, and you were just really comfortable to nap on, in his opinion.

“are you gonna eat all my grapes? i was looking forward to those,” peter whined, taking one out of your hand. “are you gonna keep using me as a pillow?” you challenged. he responded by moving his head to your shoulder and chewing. “then, yes. i am gonna eat all your grapes.”

“you know what two people who share food are?” ned chimed in from across the cafeteria table. already knowing what he was implying, you sighed. “what, ned?” he cupped his hand over his mouth like he was about to spill the world’s biggest secret. “a couple.”

it wouldn’t be a regular day without ned trying to play matchmaker for you and peter. the idea made peter scoff. “leave us alone, man. that doesn’t even make sense.” “yes it does!” ned nudged mj for backup. she only raised her hands in defense. it was always a hard pass from her on getting involved in these types of things, unless she found a reason to.

“really? how?” you grabbed peter’s milk and took a sip just for the hell of it. he chuckled at that, forgetting he was supposed to be annoyed with you. a bit of milk dripped down your chin in the process. “oops,” you grimaced at yourself and licked it away.

something about the whole thing made peter’s heart clench. it was so... you were so... cute. cute was definitely the word he was looking for. wait, what? that was new. peter had always thought you were pretty and all, but he’d never found himself endeared like this over such a little thing you did. or had he? no. nope. it was ned’s stupid theory messing with him. that was all.

“y/n, dude, everyone knows it’s a thing. like, why else would someone give up their whole lunch? it’s flirting,” ned interrupted peter’s sudden thoughts about your cuteness. the smug look on his face made you want to throw the tray at him.

before you even joined their friend group, ned was on a mission to set the two of you up. peter described you to him and mj as “the actual sweetest girl ever. she makes me laugh a lot. you guys gotta meet her.” mj obviously ‘tsked’ at him, but a light bulb went off in ned’s head. peter was crushing. he just didn’t know it yet.

part of how you and peter got so close was that ned and mj used to back out of group plans. you’d end up hanging out alone most of the time. of course, it was ned’s idea. a successful idea, yes, but neither of you understood the obsession. apparently it was a guy in the chair’s duty to be a good wingman, and you should leave it to him. whatever that meant.

“if i remember correctly, you and your mom went halfsies on a piece of cake at your birthday party last year. what are you trying to tell us, leeds?” mj asked with a smirk. you and peter looked at each other and burst into laughter, ned’s mouth hanging open. the girl could really get someone when she wanted to.

“shut up, you guys! that’s different!” “so is y/n stealing my food and you calling it sharing,” peter made a point of saying more to you than ned. despite his words, he pushed the tray over to you. it was basically yours, anyway.

you thanked him with a pat on his cheek and popped more grapes into your mouth. in that moment, peter decided he’d get you all the grapes in the world if he could. jeez, he seriously needed to reel it in.

ned was only going to keep going now. “see that? peter’s such a sweet boyfriend. isn’t he, y/n?” he cooed and clasped his hands under his chin. you didn’t have the chance to change the topic before flash appeared at your table. he’d probably overheard your conversation. “penis parker is somebody’s boyfriend? good one.”

feeling peter tense up next to you, you put a hand on his shoulder to let him know you were there. you’d been in too many of these situations. the way flash talked to peter pissed you off in ways you didn’t think were possible. he was fine with everybody else, so why did he choose to pick on him? peter was the least deserving person of having to put up with it from anyone.

“just ignore him, okay? he’ll get bored and leave. works every time,” you reminded peter. too uneasy to say anything, he reached back and put his hand on top of yours. he tried to focus on how nice your touch felt instead of the fact that he was about to be humiliated by flash yet again.

“peter could totally get a girlfriend! he has, like, tons of girls after him,” ned attempted to back peter up, pleased with himself. groaning, peter put his head down on the table. he couldn’t bare to watch his friend destroy what was left of his social life. “you’re really pushing this now. stop talking,” mj warned in a whisper yell to ned. that didn’t stop flash from hearing her.

“she’s right. even parker agrees! look at him,” he snickered at peter’s embarrassed state. you’d had more than enough of him at that point. screw the silence. it wasn’t going to cut it for this one. while wingman ned was still making up stories, you tapped peter’s shoulder to find out how he was doing. his head remained down.

“you okay? want me to say something?” “i’m used to it, and no. i don’t wanna make you deal with him.” peter hated putting his issues on other people, but you couldn’t stand another second of listening to the things flash was saying. you cut into an argument between him and ned about peter’s body count. like his was any higher.

“fuck off, flash!” he stopped in the middle of his sentence. “huh?” “i said fuck off. anyone would be so lucky to date peter. you’re probably salty at him all the time because it’ll never be you,” you finally snapped. his tough guy persona faltered for a few seconds at your words, ned and mj taking the opportunity to high five you for telling him off.

peter was glad his head was still down because his cheeks were pinker than he’d like to admit. did you really mean that? would you be lucky to date him, too?

“what are you, president of the parker protection squad? or are you two a thing?” flash quickly recovered. there he went trying to get the last word in. the embarrassment for peter if you denied it was exactly what he wanted, but you weren’t letting him have it.

“ask me again some other time.” you plastered on a shit-eating grin and waved goodbye. unsatisfied with your answer, flash huffed his way back to his own table. after he was gone, peter looked up at you with something you’d never seen before twinkling in his eyes.

“thank you, y/n. you really didn’t have to say all of that.” “oh, no. don’t thank me. i‘d do it for you anytime. i am president of the parker protection squad, after all.” your fake smile turned into a genuine one for him. peter couldn’t help but mirror it.

his was heart doing that thing again. he guessed it was because he loved you so much, but this love felt different somehow. it wasn’t the friend kind of love he’d had for you all those years.

it was the kind of love he saw in the rom coms you made him watch when you got to pick for movie night. cupid’s love was the official name for it. when he put two and two together, the realization smacked him straight in the face. ned was right.

peter was starting to fall in love with you, and there was no way he could stop.

♡ 2.

peter was a workaholic. patrolaholic to be exact, especially when he had a reason. he’d sometimes find himself in a cycle of getting home late and going out early for days on end. he’d gotten used to the sleep deprivation. his grumbling stomach from missing meals wasn’t too big of a deal either. not when he had a city to save.

it was also a good distraction from everything else going on in his life. man, did he need a distraction. after peter came to terms with the fact that he loved loved his best friend, he narrowed it down to two options; telling you about his feelings or taking them to his grave. since the city was so busy, he was thankful he could throw himself into patrolling and not decide just yet.

may would usually only allow peter to patrol on weekends. school existed, and he had to take breaks. peter really wanted to help out more, so he proposed an idea that could potentially let him up it to the full seven days. he had to make it home in one piece every night for a trial week. that would prove to may he could handle it.

ignoring his black eye on tuesday and limp on thursday, it worked out. peter was positive he could finish off the week just fine. may didn’t have the same optimism. she decided that so much as a scratch on friday and it was strike three. friday came, and peter had impressively managed to end the day, like he thought, just fine.

he did one last swing around the neighborhood he was in, then started heading back to queens to gloat to may. on his way, he remembered he had to text you goodnight. he was bound by a pinky swear to you that he would do it every time he finished patrolling.

peter being spider-man was something you figured out only a few months after he got his powers. he technically exposed himself, and you pieced everything together. it all happened when spider-man offered to walk you home from school one day.

the way he rubbed the back of his neck while asking was a nervous habit that was oddly familiar, and urged you to say yes. you also thought it was strange how even though he didn’t ask for your address, he somehow knew where he was taking you. then again, he was spider-man. it was his job to know new york city and the people living in it.

you came to the conclusion you were making things up until he was about to leave. he walked you to the door of your apartment building and said, “stay safe, squirt.” nobody called you that besides peter. he came up with it because he had recently grown a few inches taller and could finally give you hell for being the short one.

needless to say, peter didn’t take off like he was intending to. he realized his slip up as soon as the nickname came out of his mouth. you brought him upstairs and had a long afternoon of questioning, explanations, and making promises.

peter typed out a message telling you he was fine and to go to sleep. as he was about to hit send, he swung too low and smacked his head right into a traffic light. that was what he got for texting while swinging. he could imagine mj giving him one of her famous safety lectures already, but that wasn’t first on his list of worries. he had a throbbing head and may’s third strike to deal with.

crap, may couldn’t know about this. she’d ban him from patrolling probably forever. going home was out of the question, but peter was in desperate need of an ice pack. there was already a bump forming from where the light hit him. his next choice would be to go to happy, only he couldn’t do that because he‘d tell may.

peter’s hands worked faster than his brain, and he started swinging over to your apartment. the overthinking began soon after. nobody wants to deal with a surprise appearance from their possibly concussed friend at 2 a.m. besides, what would he say? he’d barely seen you all week. it wasn’t fair to you, but it was too late to turn back.

peter landed on the sidewalk with an “oof” and crawled up the wall of your building. when he reached your window, he knocked in the same rhythm that he always did. no answer. he knocked louder. no answer again.

seeing as he had no other option, peter had to let himself in. he pushed on your window to see if it was unlocked. thank god it slid up then, but he made a mental note to remind you about keeping it locked another time. he climbed through the window with as little noise as possible so your family wouldn’t hear.

after navigating in the dark, peter pulled off his mask by the side of your bed. he instantly melted at the sight of you. your face was squished into your pillow, hair sprawled everywhere. you’d must have fallen asleep waiting for his text because you were holding your phone. peter was sure he’d never seen something so adorable.

he let himself stand there and watch the peaceful rise and fall of your chest. the bump on his head was no longer a priority. peter was utterly and completely entranced with you. god, why was he acting like this? oh, right. he was secretly in love with you.

before peter could help himself, he brushed some hair that had fallen into your eyes away with his fingers. you squirmed in your sleep, peter pulling his hand back. he was such an idiot sometimes. your eyes fluttered open and landed on him.

“peter? ‘s that you?” you squinted to see in the darkness of your room. he moved closer. your legs dangled over the bed as you slowly sat up. “yeah, it’s me. sorry to wake you.” he went to scratch his head out of nerves, but stopped when he remembered it really freaking hurt right there.

“‘s okay. i was hoping you’d come over soon. missed you all week.” you frowned at the red and blue clad boy in front of you. except for school, you hadn’t seen peter the past few days. “lots of crime to fight lately?” “missed you more, and yeah. been kicking lots of asses.” the awkwardness peter was imaging faded away when he plopped down next to you on your bed.

“how’s your eye doing? and the limp?” you turned his head towards you by his chin. he exhaled in relief. “getting better, i think. now that we’re talking about injuries...” the sleepiness was knocked out of you. you all but leapt to your feet and turned on the lamp by your bed. peter had a feeling you’d slightly freak.

“we’ve been making small talk and you’re hurt? what happened, peter?” “i-i sort of, um, i was texting you and swung into a traffic light.” “oh my god, where?” he pointed at his forehead with a weak smile. surely enough, there was a big bump. you gasped. “please don’t be mad at me.” “i’m not mad at you. just feel bad it was kinda my fault. do you think you have a concussion?”

you weren’t sure what to do beyond the mostly useless first aid videos they played in gym class. being an avenger, peter had had his share of experience with wounds. whenever he came to you hurt, he talked you through how to help him. the most you’d ever dealt with was a few particularly deep cuts. this was not the same.

“i‘m not sure. you could try that finger thing?” he suggested. you crouched down in front of him. “good idea. let’s do that.” as you waved your index finger back and forth and peter’s eyes followed it seemingly well, his mind was elsewhere. he was thinking about crawling into bed with you and sleeping in your arms.

“well, you passed or whatever they say. i’m pretty sure you don’t have a concussion. you’ll heal fast because of... you know.” you stood up and mimicked the way he shoots his webs. peter chuckled quietly. your thumb ran lightly over his bump, making him wince. “how bad does it feel?” “on a scale from one to ten it’s, like, a five and a half.”

although not what you wanted to hear, it was manageable. you hoped so, at least. “i’m gonna go get some stuff. change into comfortable clothes.” “yes, doctor y/n.” peter saluted you. you were happy to see he still felt up to joking around. biting your lip to hold back a smile, you made your way to the kitchen.

peter searched through the spare clothes he’d left here over the years. there were so many, you had to give him a drawer. he changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt, then sat back down criss cross on your bed.

you came in shortly after with a water bottle, two advil, and an ice pack wrapped in a towel. “i was kidding about the whole doctor thing, you know.” “too bad.” you handed him the advil and water. “take these. they’ll help until your magic healing powers kick in.” peter took the pills while you pressed the ice pack to his bump. he took it from you when he was finished.

“is that any better?” “much better. i’m all good. i should probably go soon.” he mumbled, not meaning it but also not wanting to overstay his welcome. you’d already done so much for him. you stopped him from getting up by putting a hand on his chest.

“what? you already changed, and i’m not sending you home to get killed by may. just stay.” “are you sure? i don’t wanna bother you anymore. it was annoying for me to come here so late in the first place.”

a frown set on your face. “peter, don’t you remember my promise?” there was a beat of silence while he thought about it. “that you’d help out with spidey stuff?” “however and whenever i can. i don’t know what made you think differently just now, but nothing’s gonna change that. doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night or early in the morning. i’m always here.”

only you could reassure him just like that. peter was really lucky to have you. really, really lucky.

“right. you’re right. sorry for... whatever that was.” “you apologize too much.” you poked his chest to punctuate your statement and switched the light off. “sorry for that, too,” he teased, wanting a reaction from you. “peter benjamin parker, just get in the bed.” “yes, ma’am.” that was enough before you changed your mind and threw him out.

you rolled to lay on the other side of peter. still pressing the ice pack to his head, he laid down next to you. it didn’t take long for both of you to be settled under the covers. “try not to bang into the wall or something,” you joked and pulled your comforter up to your chin.

peter puffed some air out of his cheeks, tugging more of it back. “you can’t be mean and hog the blanket.” “it’s my bed, so i actually can. i’ll hog everything.”

to prove your point, you moved over to peter until there was no room between you. both of you knew it was an excuse to cuddle. he wasn’t mad about it at all. peter opened an arm for you. you curled into his side, letting him hold you close. his whole body relaxed as you hugged him against you. “goodnight, spidey.” “night, squirt.”

♡ 3.

“what does that cloud look like to you?” you pointed up at the sky. peter’s eyes darted around as he tried to find exactly which one you were talking about. there were a lot of them, in his defense. you made a big circle with your finger around the cloud in question.

“the really curvy one. right there.” “kinda looks like a tiger. can we keep walking now?” peter tugged your arm linked in his in an attempt to move you from the spot you’d randomly stopped in. he made a whiny noise when you didn’t budge.

“i think it looks more like a horse, and no. why are you in such a rush?” furrowing your brows at him, you tightened your grip on his arm. “because some people don’t like cloud watching, grandma.” “i only asked you about one! i’m just... trying to get the most out of today.”

with college around the corner, you and peter both had a lot to do and a little bit of time to get it done. your only hangouts had become some shared extracurriculars and weekly study group with your other friends. trying to binge watch your shows together on facetime hadn’t been easy, for one thing. you fumbled to keep your phone up more than you payed attention.

on a more serious note, being apart sucked majorly. it was going to be this times a million when you would inevitably have to split up in a few months. thinking about it for too long usually made you cry.

peter was struggling in other ways. his more than a friend feelings for you were only getting stronger. having all that love and not being able to give it to you was hurting like hell, and he had to just pack everything up and act normal during the rare moments you were together. you were both going through it.

this was the first sunday in what felt like forever that you and peter were both free. you decided that the nice weather called for a meetup at central park. so, there you were, arm in arm on your afternoon stroll.

“don’t say it like that, y/n. you’re making me sad.” peter let out a breath as you rested your head on his shoulder. “that was the point.” you started walking again, peter following next to you. he kicked at pebbles while you smiled up at him. that made him smile at his feet. you were getting really good at making him flustered.

“so, did you finish that pre calc packet?” peter asked to distract himself. you lifted your head off his shoulder with a groan. “peter, we’re not talking about school for once. let’s talk about literally anything else.” “like what?” you were about to make a suggestion, but something caught your attention.

you raced over to a swingset, dragging peter along with you before he could realize where you were taking him. you stopped in front of it and threw your hands up to present it to him. he let out a breathy laugh. “when was the last time you went on one of these?” you asked, taking peter’s arm again. peter shook his head. “way too long ago.”

with a smile, you walked him over and took a seat on one of the swings. peter sat on the one next to you. you spun around in a circle to see how much you could twist the chains, peter laughing. “y/n, what are you doing?” “having fun. you should try it sometime.” he backed up to get himself started and grabbed his own chains. “i do have fun. it’s just not in the ways you think.”

you untwisted yourself to watch peter. “so, how?” “well,” he started going higher, “i like learning about stuff, even the things we have to in school.” “everybody knows that. that’s the first thing i thought of.” you did know everything possible about him.

everything except his new feelings for you, but this wasn’t the time for him to blurt that out. he was still figuring out when or if he should.

“guess i’m not gonna say i like movies, either.” “singing?” you were swinging next to him, turning it into an unspoken competiton for who could get the highest. peter slowed down a bit since he’d had a head start. “i suck. the only person who’s allowed to hear me is you.”

“it’s possible to suck at something and still enjoy it.” the breeze blew your hair around, peter seeing it from the corner of his eye. he’d always loved how carefree you were around him. it rubbed off.

“remind me to force you to do karaoke one day.” “you’re so annoying.” that motivated you to kick off harder on the ground. peter huffed and tried to catch up to you. “don’t be mean to your only source of fun.” if that wasn’t true, he would’ve came up with a comeback.

the only time peter remembered to relax was when he was with you. it was usually because you reminded him. he skidded to a stop on the swing and looked up at you.

“why’d you let me win? was that too mean?” you looked over your shoulder. “nah, i just got tired.” “oh. we can do something else now. catch me?” “sure,” peter chuckled and got off the swing. he stood in front of you on the grass and waited for you to get lower. you clenched your teeth into a nervous smile.

“ready?” “ready.” swinging towards him, you jumped off and expected to land in his arms. you ended up completely on top of him instead.

the wind was knocked out of both of you, but peter had it worse because he broke your fall. your hands were on his shoulders and one of his was around your lower back. neither of you realized the position you were in. you were too busy trying to breathe again.

“god, that hurt.” “my bad,” peter mumbled. in any other circumstance, he wouldn’t be complaining about this. “i should’ve warned you or something,” you dismissed him.

you were still hovering over peter, your lips dangerously close to his. he could’ve sworn they almost touched. that was when you got off of him. he only forced out a laugh. nothing ever went his way. you offered him a hand, oblivious to his inner conflict. peter took it and pulled himself up, falling into step next to you as you headed to another path.

that could’ve been a chance to make some sort of move, and he blew it.

♡ 4.

it hadn’t been easy for peter to move on from that day. his mind kept replaying the split second you almost kissed on an endless loop, and all he could do was come up with what he should’ve done in the moment.

things were getting to a point where he had no clue how to act around you. being your friend was hard, but becoming your boyfriend would be that much harder. his stupid feelings put him in an awkward place, and he was afraid you were starting to realize. he couldn’t lose you altogether.

you asked peter to meet you for coffee after school. it was this small place in between your apartments you’d both been to once before. they had really good cookies and an overall cozy feeling you liked. peter wasn’t sure what this was all about.

were you going to confront him? did ned say something? maybe it was a mistake to confide in his most gossipy friend about how he felt.

with a headache from stress and a heavy backpack hanging off his shoulders, peter walked into the café. he spotted you at a table near the window. you’d already taken the liberty of ordering, two drinks and a chocolate chip cookie waiting there. you looked up from your phone when peter pulled a chair out.

“hi.” you gave him a small smile and put your phone down. “i already got everything.” peter shrugged off his backpack with a grin. he sat down facing you. “thanks. sorry i’m kinda late. i had to stop at my locker.” you usually met him there. come to think of it, why hadn’t you today? you pushed peter’s drink over to him. “you’re fine. i came here early to get us a table, anyway.” phew.

peter bent the straw to his iced macchiato and took a sip. it made him feel grown up, casually drinking coffee with you over a boring conversation. adult life must’ve sucked. “so, how was the rest of your day?” he asked to fill the silence. you only had two classes without him after lunch, so that was a dumb question. he’d never had so much trouble talking to you.

“eh. betty fell asleep on me during this cold war documentary we had to watch.” “didn’t she say american history is her favorite?” you broke off a piece of the cookie with a laugh. “not after that. what about your day?” the light from the window was shining directly on you, blocking out everything else from peter’s view. he wanted to tell you how beautiful you were so bad, but that would be creepy.

you took a bite of your cookie and raised an eyebrow. he was staring. “uh, nothing interesting. i’m gonna patrol a little bit later.” peter sipped his drink again. you clicked your tongue and let out a breath. “that’s all you do these days.” he knew you were catching on to how off he’d been. what was he supposed to say? it would’ve helped if he’d prepared a few excuses.

“just trying to help out while i’m still here.” that was a half truth. “yeah, but you should still take some time for yourself.” you ripped open your straw wrapper and blew it at peter. he caught it just before it hit his face. rolling your eyes, you put the straw into your drink. “i hate your reflexes sometimes.” he shrugged one of his shoulders casually. “jealousy is a disease.”

neither of you said anything for a few minutes. you stared out the window while peter finished the rest of the cookie. he could tell something was on your mind. whenever you were deep in your thoughts, you sort of zoned out like this.

he was too nervous to ask you what was wrong because of the conversation you just had. it sounded like you had already considered he was being distant before today. his feelings aside, he needed to reassure you. that was more important.

“y/n?” you turned your head to look at him. “yeah?” peter’s gaze shifted from you to his thumbs twiddling in his lap. “i know we’ve both been really... busy lately, but i’m still here. don’t forget that.” a hint of a smile played on your lips. you would’ve hugged him if you could reach. “thank you, peter. i kinda needed to hear that.” he nudged your leg under the table. “of course. hey, you wanna come with me tonight?”

a couple of hours later, you were in peter’s arms on a rooftop that was much higher up than it looked. he insisted on taking you for a swing so you could get the full experience. he’d been trying to get you to do this for the longest time, so he wondered what made you agree today. you wanted to find out what was so enjoyable about it.

“i trust you, but you’re not gonna drop me, right?” your legs were around his waist, and he had one hand supporting you by your back. that wasn’t terrifying at all. you grabbed peter’s shoulders, the idea of it making you nervous. he wrapped his arm tighter around you.

“oh my god, no. i can always web you back up.” “peter! that’s not funny.” even behind the mask, you could tell he was smirking. “you’re always safe with me, squirt. don’t worry.” you brought your arms up to loop around his neck.

“i feel better now.” “good. i’m gonna jump when we get to the edge, okay?“ your whole body stiffened up. peter could sense it. as excited as he was to share this with you, he didn’t want to make you feel pressured. “or we don’t have to do it.” his voice was quiet. you tried to relax in his hold. “i’m just gonna close my eyes. i think that’ll help.” “we’re about to find out.”

peter started walking towards the edge of the building with you holding on even tighter to him, your eyes squeezed shut. he kept finding himself in situations where he was close to you in the ways he’d been wishing for, but never for the same reasons. it was bittersweet.

he bit down on his lip and aimed his free hand at a building. you squealed when he leaned back. “i’m jumping now,” he prepared you, and before you could respond, you were in the air. you hid your face in peter’s chest the second you felt yourself pretty much flying.

“what the fuck, you like this?” you had to yell so he could hear you. peter shot another web to keep swinging. “it’s really not that bad! try looking up!” he shouted back, clearly amused.

grip tightening around his neck, you slowly pulled your face away from him. he kept you close as he swung. you somehow convinced yourself you weren’t going to die by looking at something besides peter. your eyes landed on the sky behind his head.

the sun was almost completely set, deep pink and orange merging together against the glowing lights of the city. you were finally understanding why he liked this so much. it was beautiful.

peter peeked at you for a second to check on you. he swore his heart was going to explode out of his chest. the look of adoration on your face, it was even better than the view. it was the view. the little moments where peter got to see you this way made him realize how in love with you he really was.

“this is... wow. i get it now,” you laughed in disbelief, watching as the city whirled past you. peter smiled so big it hurt. “pretty awesome, huh?” one of your hands slid back down to his shoulder. “take me with you more often.”

♡ 5.

peter licked his lips out of habit as he held the door open for may, who was following behind him with a look of pride. he was about to graduate high school. the ceremony was being held in a really nice stadium-like place. trying to find it added minutes on to the parker tradition of being late to everything important.

peter wasn’t as concerned with his tardiness as he was with finding you.

while he tossed and turned in bed the night before, he went over his whole school year in his head. that meant little things and big things. he was starting to drift off until he remembered a conversation with ned a few weeks back. they decided on a deadline for peter to tell you about his feelings, and it was before graduation.

they chose it because if peter got rejected, he’d be over it by the time college started. that was the goal.

it wasn’t that peter had changed his mind. it was that he completely forgot. he didn’t have a solid plan for what he should do. these things needed to be decided way in advance. he ended up pulling something together last minute because it was you. plus, this extra pressure gave him the push to go through with it. somewhere between steps seven and eight, he passed out.

may rushed him to get ready because he’d slept past his alarm. the whole morning was a mess, and he had at most fifteen minutes to confess his love to you by the time he got there.

“you should go make sure you’re marked here. i’ll see you after. love you.” may pressed a kiss to his cheek and half-jogged to the auditorium for a seat. he squeezed her arm and headed off to check in. your whole grade was already lined up along the walls for what looked like miles. the deal was to tell you before graduation. he still had about ten minutes.

peter walked past hundreds of students with his heartbeat thumping in his ears. everyone was in alphabetical order, so it didn’t take too long to find you. relief washed over you when you saw peter. you were worried he wouldn’t show up at all. his cap was in his hand, hair getting tangled from running his fingers through it. he looked at you with pleading eyes.

“finally, i’ve been trying to call you all morning. where were you?” your tone was dripping with concern. “i overslept. there’s something i gotta tell you, y/n.” he gulped. you smiled in a way that was kind of pitying. “we’re about to start going inside. i- you have to wait, pete. go get lined up.”

this wasn’t how it was going to end. not again.

he looked around to see who was watching, then he grabbed your wrist. “peter, what are you-“ “just come with me really quick.” despite yourself, you let him lead you down the hallway. you dodged a couple of teachers having a conversation and went into a bathroom that was vacant by some chance. he let go of you after the door shut. you stood behind it while he walked over to a sink.

it was making you anxious to not be out there. you could be late. peter was the same way when it came to school, so you knew this had to be pretty serious. you gave up the battle with yourself and made your way over to him. he was looking at himself in the mirror, trying to get a stray curl back in place.

“let me help.” you stood next to him. he turned to face you, that same look of urgency still in his eyes. you used two fingers to brush through his hair. there was so much gel that it was wet enough to mess with. you smiled a bit and took your hand out of his hair. his hand was gripping the sink.

“you look good, pete. you smell good, too.” “so do you.” his voice was lower than usual. you flattened out the material of your blue gown. “thanks. so, talk to me. what’s up?”

the question was so simple, but way too many answers were running through peter’s brain. he wasn’t even sure he’d have enough time to explain everything now. this was why he needed a written out and carefully crafted plan.

but, like he said to himself last night, this was you. his best friend in the entire world and any other that might exist. the person who’s been there for his most embarrassing moments, and who’s been responsible for some of his best ones. if he couldn’t finally say the three words he’d said to you so many times before, what was the point?

his fingers drummed a steady rhythm while he mustered up the last remaining bit of courage in him. you watched him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. “just, um...” he was stalling. he pulled his hand off the sink. “i... love you.” peter only glanced at you for a second, too afraid to see your reaction. “i love you, too. is everything okay?” his heart sank. you thought he meant it in the friend way.

that was what he got for being so terrible with words.

“no, y/n. not like that.” he blurted. you were lost. peter pressed his back against the wall and sat down. confused and equally worried, you sat next to him on the floor. “then what do you mean? you’re scaring me.” he checked the watch may made him wear to see how much time was left before graduation. four minutes. he really should’ve woken up on time.

“we have to get back in line soon. i don’t wanna miss-“ “i love you, y/n. i’m in love with you.” a weight that had been on peter’s chest for months was lifted just by saying it. you squinted your eyes at him, but said nothing.

“i’ve been trying to tell you for a while, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i just had to say it.” “fuck, are you serious?” you sounded what peter could only describe as disappointed. yeah, it was unrequited. here came a summer of crying. “i was gonna tell you first.”

peter’s breath hitched in his throat, and he swore you could hear it. he was so sleep deprived that it felt like he was hallucinating. you shook your head as heat came to your cheeks.

“how long have you...” peter trailed off, an eye crinkling smile interrupting him. “that day we went for coffee. something clicked, so i thought for a while and figured it out. i think i’ve loved you for a really long time.”

you inched closer to peter, just barely resting your head on his shoulder. for once, you felt like the shy one. he put his hand on top of yours. his thumb traced over each of your fingers. “i’d ask you out, but you know. we don’t really have time.”

“peter, it won’t take that long.” you giggled. he squeezed your hand in his. “hm. y/n, would you wanna go out with me after this?” you thought about teasing him for it, but he was right. you had to go. that was the friend still in you. “i’d love to go out with you, peter.”

with that, you both jumped to your feet and ran out of the bathroom. you were still holding hands, and a few classmates made faces when you rushed past them to get to your spots. you exchanged one last smile with peter before lining up.

the person in front of you said everybody was looking for you two. honestly, you didn’t care all that much. you were too excited for your date later. peter already knew he’d be checking his watch throughout the whole ceremony.

it was a best friend and soulmate thing.

#tom holland #peter parker #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland writing #spiderman #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #marvel #mcu #tom holland oneshot

1K notes · View notes

letters-from-x · 3 years ago

Note

The whole "asexuality is harmful bc some gay kids may think that they are ace" thing rly frustrates me bc when I was younger I used to think that I was a lesbian (I knew I didn't like men and thought being gay the only other option even tho I didn't like women either) and I tried to force myself to be into women, which was obvs awful for me and for those women too. And yet everyone sees how ridiculous calling the lesbian label harmful would be. Sorry for ranting, ur the only ace radfem I know 😅

Thanks for the ask, and don't apologise! This is something that frustrates me too.

When I was younger I had never heard of asexuality and this may sound ridiculous, but I thought it was just me. Actually for a couple of years I would become very annoyed with people my own age for "faking" attraction to each other when I "knew" they didn't actually feel anything. My mum eventually had to sit me down and explain that everyone else wasn't lying to me, I was just not having the same experiences for some reason. I felt like every other teenager was being sent instructions on how to behave in a groupchat that I wasn't invited to. I truly believed I was the only person in the world who didn't experience sexual attraction. I just couldn't account for the fact that I'd never heard of anybody else like me, never seen one in a movie or read of one in a book. I cannot express how isolated, lonely and hopeless it made me feel.

So when people on here are like "knowledge of assxuality is ruining society actually because everyone thinks they're ace now thanks to the internet" it seems so alien to me. I think people on here easily forget how disconnected tumblr is from the real world. I've told a lot of people that I'm asexual and I've had to explain what it means to almost all of them. People well past their teens come up to me amazed there's another person in the universe who feels the same way they do. The vast vast majority of people have absolutely no idea what asexuality is (including many radfems on tumblr, as it turns out). I will always advocate for spreading awareness of asexuality because I don't want anyone to feel the way I used to feel.

But clearly some of you grew up in a very different world than I did, since you used to think you were asexual as a teenager and now believe knowledge of asexuality is harmful as a result. Like anon, I know this can happen with any sexuality, and I don't see anybody saying that to prevent confusion we should stop talking about heterosexuality, because we all know that would be ridiculous. I know it's a controversial view but I think believing you're ace as a teenager while you're figuring yourself out and then working out later that you're something else is better than pushing yourself to experiment with people you aren't attracted to so you can work out what's "wrong" with you. I also believe that the epidemic of teenage girls calling themselves ace that radfems are so concerned about is a symptom of our cultural emphasis on identities and labels, and I'll grant also a symptom of our hypersexualised porn culture, but not a symptom of asexuality existing. If they didn't use our label they'd just pick another. The harm is not in awareness of asexuality. People knowing they aren't obligated to have sex or even want sex will never be a bad thing.

#ask #anon #asexual #asexuality

21 notes · View notes

wickedpact · 3 years ago

Text

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

#tales through time spoilers #obviously #long post #seriously dont open that read more unless youre committed to scrolling past all these Words

32 notes · View notes

poetrusicperry · 3 years ago

Text

Running Towards Nothing

Chapter One

a/n: hello !! @noelliza and i fleshed out an idea about if todd came from out of state (specifically, somewhere in the southern united states) to attend welton, so i wrote it heh. i’m not sure how many parts this will be (if people like it enough for me to continue posting lol), but i have the first like... five written haha. so yes, todd is from the south (alabama) and i don’t know much about the south bc i'm from the west coast, but i tried haha. hope you guys like it !! xx

chapter summary: something in todd’s past is the reason for his family’s move, leading to a new neighborhood, a new school, a roommate he was never expecting, and an overall shift in his life.

pairing: todd anderson x neil perry

warnings: none (i don’t think there are any in this chapter, but if anyone spots something, let me know !)

word count: 2479

–

If there was one thing Todd missed about home, it was the sky; the sun set differently over the rolling hills of Vermont than the grassy fields of Alabama. He was used to seeing all of the elongated, blue canvas sky that melted into bright shades of pink and orange along the horizon; there was nothing in the way of the creation, just a plain view of where the heavens met the earth. In the northeast, however, the sunset snagged on the seemingly-black pointed edges of trees and lush branches, interrupting the gradient leaving only soft blue and speckles of marigold.

But he had experienced his last Alabama sunset two days ago, and there was no going back. Not for a really, really long time (if ever). After the events of the past few months, there was no way Todd could ever show his face again, even if he really wanted to. Now, Todd Anderson and his family were living in the suburbs of Vermont, where, as his parents hoped, the past would stay hidden and they could build a new façade for the one Todd had recently, though unintentionally, demolished.

As Todd sat on the floor of his new, empty room, surrounded only by boxes and his bed (which didn’t have a box spring or frame yet), he gazed out of his window forlornly. Through the toothbrush-tipped trees that were jam packed along his new horizon, he could make out the silhouette of a church’s steeple. One that, no doubt, would be frequented by his mother and father while his brother, Jeffrey, was out of state at college, and Todd himself attended the prep school just a few blocks down the road. Out of all the cities in Vermont, Todd’s parents had picked the one with the lowest population and tourist pull, which meant not a lot of people inhabiting the city. However, on the flipside, there wasn’t a wide variety of schools to choose from. Back in Alabama, Todd had attended his local public high school, Nixon, and would have been an incoming senior there if certain... events hadn’t occurred. Instead, Todd was now forced to continue his education at what was deemed “the best all boys prep school in the United States” by his parents and surrounding boarding schools (no pressure).

Todd’s mind wandered through the recent weeks, pulling apart everything that had happened like rotten cotton candy. This was his life now: a new state, a new town, a new school, brand new everything. And yet, Todd felt stuck between wanting to start over and aching to hold onto his old life. If those five seconds could have gone differently, he’d be preparing for his first day of senior year with all his friends at Nixon. But his friends would never speak to him again, and he’d never walk the halls of Nixon High School ever again. Todd wondered what he could possibly be holding onto? There was nothing in a place he considered home and nothing in a new place that would likely never be home. So much of his past, he wanted to leave behind, but he just… knew that he couldn’t.

As he reached into the open box beside him, there was a knock on the door. When Todd didn’t answer, the door cracked open, revealing the familiar face of his older brother.

“Hey, I was going to go on a drive around town, maybe see some of the cool hangout spots if you wanted to come. I know I’m leaving for school in a couple weeks, but might as well check out some places anyway?”

Jeff always had a way of talking to Todd gently, never with any hints of condescension in his tone. After all, Jeff was the only person in the house who ever acknowledged Todd’s existence. And after everything that had happened, Todd was certain he was no closer to gaining support from his parents than a couple months prior; in fact, he’d been quite sure he was further from garnering any cent of respect, let alone support.

“Oh, uh… right now?” Todd spoke, barely above a whisper. He knew he didn’t need to feel embarrassed or nervous around Jeff, but that’s just how things were for him now. Anything he said or did felt… wrong, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“Yeah, I think Mom and Dad went to pick up some dinner, so I was just thinking that we could head out for a few minutes. Maybe get a little familiar with town and stuff,” Jeff smiled at Todd, his perfectly straight teeth somehow still gleaming in the darkening light of Todd’s room, “Come on, I know you probably don’t feel up to it, but it’d be better than sitting in here while it progressively gets darker,” Jeff attempted to joke, laughing slightly.

Todd gave him a half smile, half grimace, “Alright. Think I need a jacket?”

“Want to drive with the top down, so probably,” Jeff smiled, smacking the doorway and turning down the hallway, “Leaving in five!” he called down the hall as he went.

While they rode leisurely around town, Todd kept his head mostly turned to the side, leaning his cheek on his arm and taking in all the things they drove past. Lots of houses on moderate pieces of land lined the streets; they were nothing like the spacious farms and open pastures of Alabama. Up until recently, Todd had always considered the south home. But truth be told, he wasn’t sure what home was anymore.

“Oh, sweet, Todd, look! There’s an arcade!” Jeff patted Todd’s shoulder with the back of his hand as he cruised down the street. The big neon lights were hanging over a brick building spelling “GAMES & POOL.” It looked like the marquees Todd had seen of New York City in the magazines. He just nodded at his brother’s sentiment as they pulled up to the red light. Glancing up at the bright sign once more, his gaze was torn away when the door to the arcade opened, revealing five lanky boys spilling out onto the sidewalk.

“I told you I was going to beat the high score and you punks didn’t believe me!” one with sandy hair said, walking backwards and facing his friends. His face was twisted into a mischievous grin and his voice ricocheted across the street as the boys seemed to be making their way to the movie theatre a few doors down.

“Charlie, no one cares that you beat the high score,” the tallest one replied; Todd noticed he had a flattop haircut, which is something no one in Alabama would have ever had; Todd thought it looked neat. The flattop’s sentiment earned a chuckle from all the boys, but a particularly loud laugh from a tall, dark-haired boy standing toward the front of the group. He wore beige slacks and a tucked in red flannel with black and white hi-top Chuck Taylor’s. And Todd noticed his dimples were deep into his cheeks while he laughed. As the boys walked down the sidewalk to the theatre ticket vestibule, the light turned green and Jeff began to drive. As the car passed the group, the dark-haired boy looked up and locked eyes with Todd.

“Neil, still five for Gidget?” the ginger one with glasses said. The dark-haired boy (who Todd could now assume was Neil) held Todd’s gaze for a couple more seconds before tearing his eyes away and nodding at his friend. Todd’s cheeks were ablaze as Jeff drove further away. Trying to not move his head, Todd simply looked back at the boys in the side mirror until they were simply blobbed figures standing under the light of the theatre.

When Todd and Jeff arrived home, their parents’ car was in the driveway, and the light in the kitchen was on.

“Hope you’re hungry,” Jeff turned to Todd as he switched the engine off. He just looked at Jeff blankly; his appetite had still not returned, so he didn’t feel hungry much anymore, “I know I am,” Jeff smiled, ruffling Todd’s hair and easing the tension between them. He nodded a little bit and opened the door, Jeff doing the same. As Jeff made his way up the steps, Todd trailed behind him, not wanting to be the first person his parents saw.

“Jeffy, is that you?” his mother’s voice called from the kitchen.

“Yeah, Mom, we just went to check out the neighborhood a bit,” Jeff called, slowing his pace, falling into step with Todd and slinging his arm around his little brother’s shoulder.

“Dinner’s on the table, dear,” she replied as the boys walked into the dining room.

“Smells good, Ma,” Jeff smiled, taking his seat at the table after patting Todd’s shoulder. Todd sat down tentatively and stared at the spread in front of him. His parents had gotten KFC for the second night in a row, and Todd was about as excited as he was the first time (that being not at all).

“I know we had it last night, but it really just reminds me of the food back home,” his mother said, pulling her napkin into her lap.

“You boys eat up, now,” his father said, gesturing to the bucket of chicken and sides in front of the pair. Jeff grabbed his food, and took extra care to offer Todd all of the things he picked up for himself. While their parents busied themselves in a conversation about the pie their neighbors had dropped off, Jeff nudged Todd lightly,

“Look, I know you’re not hungry, but have a biscuit at least, okay?” he muttered and held one out to his younger brother. Todd took it hesitantly, put it in the middle of his plate, and stared at it, “Come on, Todd. Please,” Jeff mumbled again.

“What’s that, Jeffrey?” his father turned to him.

“Oh, nothing, Pop, just telling Todd to have some dinner,” Jeff smiled small. Todd’s father looked at him with disgust.

“Eat,” he grunted. At the timbre of his father’s voice, Todd flinched slightly and picked off a part of the biscuit to nibble on while the conversation turned to Jeff’s plans for the fall semester. Fading into the background (as usual), Todd tuned out the conversation and focused really hard on his white Chuck Taylor’s, getting a flash of the tall, dark-haired boy’s face in his mind. Neil. Shaking his head slightly, Todd adjusted his gaze to the plate in front of him and waited for another painful dinner to end.

When the summer had wound down and the weeks in Vermont had become more familiar, Todd’s parents had busied themselves with getting Jeff ready for dorm move-in and paying little, if any, attention to Todd. Currently, Todd was up in his room, preparing for convocation the next day. Jeffrey had left the past Thursday, driving up on his own. He had told Todd to not take everything so seriously and to do the best he could (because he knew that Todd was capable of a lot of things). He also mentioned that he was just a call away if Todd ever needed anything (he wrote his telephone number onto a scrap of paper). Todd had searched the arcade and the theatre a couple times in the hopes of running into the group of boys he had seen on their second night in town, but to no avail.

Sitting in front of the mirror, Todd analyzed himself. His hair had grown out kind of long, and his mother hadn’t taken him to get it cut, so he’d have to deal with that, but everything else looked normal. Things certainly didn’t feel normal, but he was used to the discomfort by now. The only thing he was truly worried about was his stupid accent. He’d spent the last few weeks hanging around diners and spots with Jeff, and hadn’t heard a single southern accent. He knew his drawl would just make him appear stupid to all these super educated kids, so he’d put a lot of effort into controlling it. He was actually doing okay at it, he just needed to make sure he didn’t slip up. Todd didn’t need any aspect of his personality or appearance to be called attention to. He got up from the floor and crawled into bed, dreading what the next day and year would bring.

Convocation turtled by, two hours of sitting in a church pew and listening to some headmaster spout of statistics that Todd didn’t care about. As far as he was concerned, he wanted to finish his senior year and get the hell out of here; Todd had always wanted to go to California, but his parents told him it was a pipe dream (“After the stunt you pulled in Alabama, we won’t be funding your college anywhere!” his father had yelled).

“Ah, Mr. Anderson, is it?” the headmaster questioned when it was Todd’s turn to be introduced after the ceremony.

“U-uh, yes sir,” he mumbled.

“Well, we don’t normally take public school transfers, but you will fit in well here. Any major problems you let me know,” he shook Todd’s hand rather harshly.

“Thank you, sir,” he nodded and moved along.

Feeling his chest start to tighten, Todd made his way out onto the grass where he sat down against a tree and waited for his parents. After an uncomfortable and awkward goodbye with them, he roamed the grounds a little bit, practicing his newly-fashioned accent quietly to himself. As he rounded a corner to the courtyard, he bumped shoulders with a boy, and turned to apologize, dead-set on making his southern accent unknown (or as unknown as it could be).

“Ope- sorry about that,” the boy laughed nervously. When Todd looked up at him, it was the boy from outside the arcade all those weeks ago. Shit.

“S-sorry,” Todd mumbled. The boy nodded a little bit.

“It’s all good. I’m Neil Perry,” he smiled, holding out his hand, seemingly unaware or forgetting of the fact that they’d seen each other before.

“Todd Anderson,” he manipulated his tongue to sit flatter in his mouth, so as not to let slip his Alabaman background. He had trouble looking into Neil’s eyes, but when he got a good look, he realized they were dark, dark brown and incredibly deep.

“Oh, that’s you? I think that makes us roommates,” Neil said, patting Todd on the shoulder. Oh no, Todd thought, his cheeks flushing. Stop it, he thought to himself and cleared his throat.

“Oh… cool,” Todd nodded a little bit and pursed his lips.

“I gotta get going. See you soon!” he patted Todd’s shoulder again and took off in the direction he had been going when Todd bumped into him.

Yep, Todd sighed. This is going to be a long year.

tagging some people (especially those of you who said i should post this heh): @queertoddanderson @babytoddanderson @cupiiid @justarandompjofan @charliedaltonofficial @pretentious-strikes @aedan-mills

and a big thank you to @noelliza as always bc she’s the best and reads all my stuff before i even think about putting it anywhere on the internet lol <3

#dead poets society #anderperry #neil perry and todd anderson #todd anderson #neil perry #angelina writes

37 notes · View notes