#the only person who really knew me
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Unpacking The Suitcase | ProbablyMuted | #lifeispain
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Moment of Reckoning
Anna Draper: The wife of the deceased Lt. Draper, Patty's sister and Don's closest ally who dies of cancer offscreen. The death is reported by her niece Stephanie and a brief vision of her ghost is seen by Don.
Mark Kerney: Peggy's controlling boyfriend set up to be married to her by her parents who breaks up with her because of the fact that he thinks that she prioritizes her work over him.
Filming
Matthew Weiner credited the cinematographer Chris Manley and director Jennifer Getzinger for the "gradations of darkness, of afternoon into night into early morning, the way that theyāre posed together, it just really made the whole thing work."
Jon Hamm elaborated on the difficulty of filming the heavy emotional scenes with Elisabeth Moss in which Hamm breaks down after learning of Anna's death, saying that "Episode eight, everyone is starting to get exhausted. When we had those lines together, just looking at Elisabethās face, when I realized that sheās heard this entire phone call, how completely awash with emotion she was, it seemed like the only response to that was to just completely break down and let it all go. Itās a remarkable alchemy between writing, acting, directing, lighting, and everything else for them to make that a really nice moment.
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#Mad Men#she knew me#the only person who really knew me#Peggy's DOB. Anna's Date of Death.#Jennifer Getzinger#Matthew Weiner#Jon Hamm#Elisabeth Moss#death of a loved one#Moments of Truth#Cinema Therapy#life of convenience#adoption#abortion#life of regrets#marginalized#show some humanity#compassion#armchair experts
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if heād been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldnāt have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didnāt want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes ārecklessā#heās comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that heāll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesnāt care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I donāt know if heād have gone back if Laios hadnāt#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldnāt have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille wouldāve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I donāt think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falinās friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we donāt assign a face and identify to Curlyās actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldnāt be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions itās that heās well meaning to a fault#heās an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like itās the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they canāt cut off for one reason#or another like itās not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but itās less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but itās not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited itās just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldnāt in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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are you oka- oh.
#kamo noritoshi#noritoshi kamo#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#yandere kamo noritoshi#yandere noritoshi kamo#yandere jujutsu kaisen#NO CAUSE HE WOULD COVER HIS MASSIVE DEATH GLARE IF HE KNEW YOU WOULD DEFEND THE OTHER PERSON#THEN YOUR ASS LOOKS AWAY AND BRO IS SHOOTING DAGGERS DUDE#i really like kamo#hes so babygirl#kamo has the hugest bitch face. i know it. i know he gives it out when the situation is fucking brutal.#its like the death glare someone else's momma gave you as a kid when you were bad#like bro#š§āāļø damn im sorry#but in my mind he'd cover his face so you wouldnt be exposed to the death glare#smth smth only wanting you to see his perfect good boy self he crafted specifically for you smth smth#hed rather die than see you defend someone whos not him bc he doesnt want to compete for your attention. he feels it should belong to him#but it only makes the contrast of the peek that he gives others that much hotter. i mean scary#also tell me how you peeped the color change god please#i was so cool for that#the pink one.. your pov. hes double face palming.... at smth someone said/did. oh no!!#but for others its red. death glare. hes gonna make them regret upsetting him so much around you#to the point where he had to take his attention away from you for a second. not only that but your attention away from him too#wow kamo ur so. hot#stan kamo fr bro š¤#null rot
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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shep I was talking to my brother about dbhc xisuma as one does and mentioned that ask about not being able to puzzle xisuma's face together mentally and my brother joked that the reason you put the spoiler bars and such on his face is cause you cant draw his whole face yet š
anyway I might have talked his ear off about dbhc idk tho lmao
LMAOO NOOOO!!! MY SECRET FINALLY IS OUT!!! /silly
#HEHE thats rly fun though i hope your brother is enjoying the osmosis XD#truthfully... drawing xisuma's face is still really difficult for me... bc he's always like. the character whose personality and character#like. comes from the fact that we never see his face? and so there's something about him that feels more... right when his face is just.#a mystery#but i DO have a facecanon for him. esp for dbhc bc its important. even if when i think Xisuma i don't think of his face the way i might whe#I think of other characters. that isn't the reason why I spoiler it though XD when we get the face reveal it'll be obvious enough. i hope#LMAO.#anyway#idk like#some of the first sketches i did of Xisuma's face will still be my favorites tbh#it's hard to capture the same energy of a rough sketch when you try to sharpen those soft edges into a clean picture yknow?#i HAVE gotten better at it though.... square-ish face but soft on the edges... kind blue eyes... hair always tied back tightly and neatly#idk. i think about him a LOT#especially lately but we knew this hehehe#i think he deserves to take the helmet off every once and a while and just. breathe and get out of his own head yknow#i think he gets better at it in s9 even if he only takes it off around people he really trusts (keralis and cleo)#not that doc hasnt seen him or that he distrusts doc but... well. that whole relationship is a work in progress since season 8 was. well#anyway im really and truly rambling <3#xisumas face is both an enigma to me and a soft sturdy shape in my brain... its hard to replicate consistently but those doodles are#just for me anyway =w= <3#(and a few select others. who Know. you know who you are)
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shiddle me this. would shidou consider microwaving frozen food as cooking
(other ver. + closeups + other stuff below cut)
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random stuff... why is he so ugly.... i made the crocs neon piss green only for the majority of it to be covered. world is cruel
#milgram#milgram fanart#shidou kirisaki#kirisaki shidou#this took. so long.#did i neglect my responsibilities in order to finish this??? erm erm maybe#but like. it was worth it man...#the rare occasion where i'm genuinely proud of myself for making shit. amazing#this was also just really fun to draw#especially the food#painting the food was so hrhrghurhrghur#i was like waughhhhh#no way i made that#this makes me sound like a loser but i could genuinely ramble about my process and the stuff i did and how happy it made me#i'm a freak.... just like shidou#freakdou or whatever#kill that guy#took a bit too long for me to say that#guy whose range is freak to cute freak#if only people knew who i subconsciously think of when i draw him... sigh... expect for one person#one person is enough sniff sniff#with the way shidou is it's rather hard to give him fuckass hands but i did#they look like yaoi hands#sniff#i know#hic hic sob#i love shidou#yeah and grass is green chibi#anwyays!!!#chibi's art/rkgk
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though š i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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Narcissistic Facades | What Makes Amy Dunne So Disturbing
[7:28] with so much praise & expectation given to appearance & impressions, Amy's true self got swept under a rug in favour of performance. This is where feelings of inadequacy/inferiority & unwantedness gradually build-up and seep into adult life.
[This sounds like an answer to the one about Bourdain's misery]
Rosamund Pike: I think that is the hardest thing, is when you're under the media spotlight for s/t you didn't earn thru your own merits, which is what Amy has had since she was a tiny little girl.
[Recommend listening to Manis Friedman on intimacy]
This is the hidden axe behind rejecting GOD; and also the point behind "doing nothing," it's not just the ultimate luxury, but the only essential aspect to life. It's no longer a performance, something that we have to keep trying to earn, to be worthy of GOD. No one is worthy of HIM, HE is gracious & merciful, just ask HIM. It is a surprisingly long process to learn to accept this freedom & rest, this permission to do nothing since society keeps priming us to assume we are worthless if no one cares. GOD has always cared intensely for each & everyone of us, HE is the 5W's behind every psychosis, our daddy issues/messiah complex/imposter syndrome.. all these things we try to fill on our own terms & never feeling adequate that somehow we've been robbed/hard done by/we are never enough/lost/confused/dissatisfied with everything despite having it all. We fluctuate from one extreme to another, with no real purpose/rhyme behind any of it, and some of you are getting dangerously sick of it. #echo
#fine tuning#performance#skewed personality#Gone Girl (2014)#Ben Affleck#Rosamund Pike#intimacy#ultimate luxury#confused#Mad Men#the only person who really knew me#misery#mind games#imposter syndrome#messiah complex#echo#Narcissist
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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A big part of the Haikyuu rewatch is watching the characters interact and worrying that I fandomized their relationships too much in my head, particularly with the Karasuno first years because Hinata and Kags keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima at armās length for so long. But then I remember. Oh wait the squad is literally Hinataās phone background by the end of the story. You donāt put a picture of just some dudes in your after school club as your phone background.
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#ane discovers character development takes time who wouldve thought#personally I think wthe change happens when Yachi and Tsuki start tutoring them#Itās around the time that thereās a shift in their bickering so that itās more. āfamilialā isnt the term Iām looking for but like#the kind of razzing you can only do with someone you know#Tsukishima for example starts bringing up specific things they studied together to dunk on Kageyama not remembering any of it#And another subtle thing I noticed- cause again I started going like ? did I fandomize my entire perception of Tadashi too much?#cause for the first season he doesnāt interact with ANYONE but Tsuki. Like practically not at all except to brag about Tsuki to others#But I have a sneaking suspicion that this starts to change around the time that he starts getting on the court more often as a pinch server#Probably because it gives him more courage#Cause I remember him having a lot to say in the Shiratorizawa match#and I remember him getting along with Yachi! So like Iām keeping an eye out for those changes#haikyuu!!#Also my favorite part about rewatching Haikyuu is how the reveal of Kagās backstory really does affect. Your entire perception of him#Like I know its probably cause heās my fav but I always feel so frustrated when people assume the worst of him and so sad that even Oikawa-#who knew him back when he was a very happy and shy kid- doesnāt even question why his personality had such a sudden shift#but then I realize that the only reason Iām so aware of these changed is because Kageyama has āopened up to meā as an audience member befor#Furudate waited hundreds off chapters to tell us that heās been grieving a loved onesince a little before the very first scene of the manga#So that it would feel like we earned it#Idk how to explain it like when you meet someone whoās hurting it takes a lot of effort and patience for them to tell you why#in the same way bc we stuck by the story for so long and watching Kageyama learn to be more open#we got the privilege of learning why he was closed off in the same place#but Kageyama didnt give anyone at his old school the chance to stick around- not Kindaichi or Kunimi or anyone#So it makes total sense#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#yamaguchi tadashi#tsukishima kei#yachi hitoka#karasuno first years#my post
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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Same train of thought is why in the fuck does Blake start out deradicalized?
The White Fang had been committing at minimum targeted property damage, grand larceny, and assassinations since Blake was twelve. Being radicalized at that young an age, she wouldn't just be lost in the sauce, Blake would be mixing kool-aid in Jonestown!
Something pretty major must have happened in order for her beliefs - which at this point would be intrinsically tied to her identity - to be shaken badly enough that she'd eventually leave the only family she'd known for the last five years. And even after leaving, there's still the unlearning of those beliefs and all the missteps that accompany that journey
Yet she gets introduced as being uncomfortable with the direction of things as if they haven't been going on for half a decade, as if she's not on what seems like a routine mission, as if there's not a damn good reason they're doing the things they're doing
ShawLuna kinda wrote Blake like she was born yesterday and is just now learning what sin is rather than a young woman having a moral crisis
#rwde#also notice how blake is the og sad face girl redemption?#p much the only difference is that blake holds herself accountable for her past actions whereas others tend to la di da past them#(or she used to. that shit dropped real fast)#if only we KNEW WHAT YOU HAD TO ATONE FOR BLAKE. WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOO#ilia should have been even harder to deradicalize considering she's been in the WF longer than Blake#AND due to the circumstances of her parents deaths she has strong reason to radicalize even further#seriously why did mentioning her parents make her switch sides? id bite anyone who tried that shit w me#blake aint got a philosophy to stand on so she just uses emotional manipulation#ilia you were so wasted on faunus island. you should've been leaking government documents on Remnant twitter#like that one person who leaked the no fly list and stayed silly :3#hell now that i think abt it p much the only thing ilia was reticent abt was attacking other faunus but even then she could be persuaded#blake really was just handed that victory huh#idk how to end this one. post be upon ye
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The way that Sakura is inspired after cherry blossoms with both her name and appearance, and the cherry blossoms symbolise the transience and impermanence of life due to their short life spans. Sasori fights against a girl who represents the fleeting nature of life which completely contrasts his obsession with immortality and skurhliexbkjgfswgblpeq
LOVE that Sakura clowns on Sasori's fuckass stupid beliefs not only with her skill set but also with her entire existence. He was untouchable until he wasn't, he was smart until he wasn't, he was apathetic until he wasn't in the span of like, an hour. The best part being that the thing that ultimatively makes her so strong (her humanity and affection and care towards Chiyo) is the one thing he can't have and would absolutely lose if he were to turn her into one of his liveless bum bitch puppets.
She really is the ultimate troll. We love her.
#ask noni#meta#kinda#i was rewatching vote 2 the other day#where sasuke said i need to kill you naruto so no one i would care about is left#and i can just be the villain i need to be#but we all know sasuke would NEVER have been happy ever again and naruto KNEW this#and it just brought me back to the sos fight and sasori's entire le epic fail philosophy#ok so you have 298 puppets who cant talk or respond to you and no friends#you have all the acknowledgement you would need and you're still not happy#you tried to live a emotionless existence but it was physically impossible and you still couldnt bring yourself to kill the last family lin#and the only person who ever challenged you thinks you're a loser#and you wanna live forever like this? bitch is this how you live?#sasori really was leading the ultimate flop existence#in kishi's AND my eyes <3
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