#the only other person that would’ve both believed and helped him would likely be shuichi

[apollos-boyfriend]

one thing about me is that i’m ALWAYS thinking about chapter 4 kokichi ouma

[starlightshadowsworld]

The other protags would have been so pissed with how Makoto’s class treat him.

 Komaru, obviously. 

Kaede would’ve just been pissed in general.

But can you imagine Shuichi hearing about the 5th trial?

The whole first trial of V3 fucking traumatised him. That boy had to sentence Kaede to death and up until the very end he never wanted to believe it wasn’t her. He only knew her for a little while but she was the one who gave him confidence, his inspiration and above all his friend. 

That’s without even mentioning Kaito.

This also applies to Hajime as well given what happened with Chiaki. 

...Can you imagine them hearing about this? 

That these guys so callously and easily sentenced the person who has saved them, helped them and one of their closest friends. 

And feel nothing from it. 

Clear De Lune still haunts Shuichi till this day and all Hajime has are blurred memories, both have nothing but the promise of the future in their hands. 

These two who would give anything to have another moment with the people they lost, that they cared for so much. And they have Makoto back with them, and they don’t even apologise. 

They don’t feel an ounce of remorse. 

And these guys had people supporting them the whole way, Shuichi had Kaede he had Kaito, Maki, even Kokichi. 

Hajime had Chiaki, Mikan, Ibuki, and than Fuyuhiko, he had the support of most of the other students. 

Who did Makoto have? 

Does it even matter ? All of them turned on him anyway, and the sad part is a lot of them like Byakuya and Asahina didn’t truly believe he did the crime he was being sentenced for. 

But they still voted for him, they still turned on him.

Out of fear? 

Because it didn’t matter all he did for them, they still chose the person they have openly said they don’t trust very much. But she knows things, and she twisted the situation.

Shuichi and Hajime wouldn’t have been able to even fathom how they could do that and still look at themselves. They can’t, it took a lot of healing but these guys just moved on and left Makoto behind. 

[momota-kaiharem]

maybe this is just my kinnie speaking but i think a lot about the way that shuichi and maki interact with kaito. let me take an interaction from the talent development plan as an example.

just rewatching this interaction made me pretty mad again FLKJDSLKFJ i love training trio and i freaking love their relationship, but god, the way that maki and shuichi treat kaito here just drives me absolutely crazy, so let’s break it down.

i think maki is the more egregious offender here (because shuichi is a simp with manners) but throughout the interaction she’s very dismissive towards kaito, asking why he brought them out there (when shuichi says it’s something they do a lot) and then saying he was useless when he went with them to the novoselic, and saying he didn’t need to go along at all. but up until here shuichi does defend kaito a bit, even if it’s in a bit of a patronisng way (remarking that kaito “does this a lot” but “isn’t it fun” and remarking that kaito’s use on the novoselic mission was to invite maki).

and then kaito says that when he goes to space, he wants to see if he can see shuichi and maki from up there, which is a really sweet sentiment, albeit unrealistic. maki shuts him down pretty fast saying he couldn’t see them from that far, and shuichi says that he might be able to see the general region, and then kaito says that he’d like to take them up to space, and THIS is the thing that really frustrates me.

kaito loves shuichi and maki. romantically, platonically, however you’d like to describe it, it’s obvious that he cares about them a LOT. i mean, he tries to convince kaede to become an astronaut too in his ftes with her, but you could argue that kaito was trying to convince her to go to space because he really respects her (as indicated by the way kaito was the only one to consistently stand up for kaede through chapter one, and the way he was willing to fight the exisals to keep monokuma from executing her, and the way he was crying after she got executed... also he asks her for hugs a lot and it’s really cute kaito you simp ilu) so again, it shows, kaito says he wants to take people to space because he loves them. space is what kaito has always been most passionate about. it’s his longest standing goal and something he wants to share with the most important people in his life.

obviously he’s being unrealistic here!! but maki and shuichi have been friends with kaito for three years by now, and they should be used to it-- they are used to it, actually, as shown by maki’s response-- but maki’s response is mean!!! it’s mean. kaito shared a sweet sentiment about wanting to share his most treasured thing with them and maki responded by calling him stupid-- which, if you remember, kaito really doesn’t like being called!!! i’d go grab screenshots, but i don’t want to go sit and watch trials until i can find it, but often when kaito is called an idiot he responds by yelling that he’s not, and that he doesn’t like being called that. i know with maki a lot of it is just banter, but still, the utter disregard for kaito’s feelings just because he’s a hahaha positive himbo man hee hee hoo hoo is... ugh. it happens a LOT throughout the game and it’s really upsetting to me.

and then shuichi’s response is what really upsets me. i know it’s just meant as a tease, but let’s think about everything that kaito has done for shuichi and maki for a moment, here. sure, his practical abilities might not be on par with theirs. he’s not a detective and he’s not an assassin, so he can’t solve murders or fight off danger, but his EQ is INCREDIBLY high. he saw maki and shuichi, and he saw that they were struggling, and he decided to take them under his wing and help them to grow. he didn’t have to do that!!! he didn’t owe them anything. maki and shuichi could’ve grown at their own paces, of course, i believe in them, but a large part of their becoming more comfortable with who they are was owed to kaito’s help and love and guidance that he showed them over the years.

so the implication that kaito, an ASTRONAUT, would need them to go to space to save him, is utterly ridiculous. and mean!! it’s really mean. it implies that kaito is useless without them, that he needs them to go up there to save him (like they’re always saving him or whatever, which i find really stupid because there are absolutely no tdp events where they help him even SLIGHTLY) when he’s literally been training to be an astronaut and go to space for the last three years!!! it’s his special interest, and it’s so invalidating, to take kaito wanting to share that with them and imply that he’s useless at it, and that he needs assistance that they’ve never offered him because of it.

and maki’s response is really gross to me too, like kaito doesn’t have any other friends, which is totally stupid. i’m sure kaede would jump to his aid if he needed her, and gonta, and any other members of their class-- i mean, kaito is a nice guy!!! he helps people!!! it was easy to rally everyone in chapter five to save kaito because he was inspiring them!!! kokichi took him because if he didn’t, kaito would be there making everyone want to keep going. maki saying that implies that kaito is so annoying that they’re the only ones who would put up with him, that they’re these two skilled people who are just there because they pity him-- which isn’t true at all, i mean they’re totally talented but ALSO i know for a FACT that maki and shuichi really appreciate kaito, so why don’t they just act like it??

actually, i have thoughts on the reason why they behave that way. it’s something that happens a lot when you get comfortable with people. kaito projects confidence, this really strong, self-satisfied demeanour. it’s clear (or at least it seems to be clear) that he has a lot of self respect. so the teasing, to maki and shuichi, feels harmless, because kaito has high self esteem, he can take it. besides, he clearly has an inflated ego, right? so he needs them to take him down a peg.

except that’s not true, and you can tell that kaito has low self esteem because of what happens in chapter four. all throughout that chapter people rag on kaito, calling him an idiot, saying he’s useless during trials, saying shuichi is the only smart one. kokichi calls him an idiot and antagonises him over and over and over and shuichi NEVER sticks up for him, never once sticks his neck out and says “hey, i really appreciate kaito, and i need you to stop talking bad about him”. instead he just lets kaito fend everyone off alone, and of course maki doesn’t stick up for him either. that’s part of what fuels kaito’s turn on shuichi in chapter five. sure, you could argue that it was about gonta-- but shuichi also turned the tables on kaede, who kaito showed more consistent affection/respect towards, and he didn’t hate shuichi for that. no, the problem was that shuichi was getting all the credit and appreciation from everybody (which was fine!!! he led the trials) and kaito was getting dumped on over and over and over and shuichi was just letting it happen, soaking in all the admiration and letting kaito be called useless.

and i mean, that’d be hard for anyone, being called stupid over and over, getting forcefully logged out of the simulation twice, once by your own sidekick who didn’t even bother asking you permission first, but it’s clear to me that kaito feels inadequate, especially as compared to shuichi, who is so intelligent and composed. kaito projects outwards, he puts on this big grin and calls himself a hero, and that must stem from a place of insecurity. there’s no way that someone who gave himself a dorky title like luminary of the stars is super secure in himself and his relationships. 

there’s another reason why maki and shuichi probably treat kaito that way, and that’s because when you respect and appreciate someone that much, and you struggle expressing it, struggle with vulnerability, it becomes... hard to express. maki hasn’t been close to someone like she’s close to kaito for as long as she remembers. she’s never had a freaking nickname before, i mean, her life is really sad. clearly some of the teasing comes from a place of love, of “i respect and admire you so much, you helped me come out of my shell, idk what i would’ve done without you” and not knowing how to express it. i’ve been there. we’ve all been there. when you love a person but don’t know how to say it, sometimes you just end up playfully ragging on them.

and that’s fine, if it’s two-sided. banter has to be mutual, it has to be something that everyone is enjoying and is comfortable with. you choose things that they’re not sensitive about, that they’re fine with you taking the piss out of them over-- that they take the piss out of themself over. but let’s think about kaito for a minute here, and whether this is really banter.

1. does kaito ever jokingly call himself an idiot? does he ever say he’s useless, or he needs people to save him, or he’s dumb? how does he react when other people do it to him? even when maki calls him a dumbass ingame he gets upset about it, but then he brushes it off, because genuinely being hurt over something like that requires vulnerability and kaito doesn’t really DO vulnerability lmao

2. how does kaito respond? does he tease them back? i think if this was a case of healthy banter, kaito would’ve gone with a jab of his own, like, “haha, you two are hilarious, you know you love me” sorta thing, and then moved on to talk about the moon like he does in his next line. he doesn’t, though, and you never really see kaito making fun of those two. he calls maki a coward in chapter three, but he’s just being honest with her, being blunt about her weaknesses to help her grow. kaito doesn’t sugar coat things, doesn’t hold your hand and walk you through your problems. he’s a tough love sort of guy and that doesn’t work for everyone but it does really work for shuichi and maki, to the point where both of them become pretty confident in themselves, owed at least in part to the way that kaito guided them through becoming the people they wanted to be. but he doesn’t really tease them, never calls shuichi out on wearing his hat (he doesn’t even notice it) and never makes fun of maki for being an assassin/having a kill count/whatever stuff they’re insecure about. of course he doesn’t! kaito is a good friend.

i think it’s important to mention here that kaito does respond with lighthearted indignation before he brushes it off, but i just don’t feel like this is healthy, two-sided banter. you see maki and shuichi acting dismissive of kaito a lot, despite everything that he does for them. he puts up with it, but if anything that just shows to me more how everything in the relationship flows one way. all the care, love, and respect goes from kaito to shuichi and maki. he takes care of them, he helps them, he doesn’t mock them. in return they tease him (even if their intentions are good!!!) and don’t ever really push him to open up, nor do they stand up for him when people put him down, nor do they particularly try and get him to be honest with his emotions. take chapter four, for example, after kokichi punches kaito and he doubles over, coughing up blood. maki and shuichi just buy that it’s a cold when kaito says that, they don’t push, even though they’re both clearly skeptical. respecting boundaries is important, but you NEED to push sometimes, you need to make people open up, because in that case kaito was literally dying, and he had to spend the rest of his life putting up a front.

i mean, even when he was dying he was holding back the urge to cough, acting brave and strong, putting on a hero face so that the two of them could go on to defeat the mastermind and focus on things that mattered. not on him.

i love training trio, i think these three work so well together and they can bring out each other’s strengths and weaknesses, but i just think that shuichi and maki do NOT treat kaito well, and unless he opens up and communicates about it, it’s going to lead to building resentments and an increased lowering of kaito’s self esteem. maybe this wasn’t intentional on the part of the game, but if it wasn’t, clearly it just shows that dr is incapable of writing healthy friendships. i’d love to write a character study someday about these guys, where kaito talks about his feelings and maki and shuichi realise they treat him like crap, but until then i guess i’ll just sit here and scream about it.

[oumakokichi]

Welcome back!!! I’m not sure if you’re taking any requests regarding analyses/meta, but if you’re looking for any ideas/when you have the time, do you mind doing a character analysis on Shuichi Saihara? I understand that he’s the main character but there is a lack of analyses about him. Although there are few, most explore his role as a protagonist/relationships with the others rather than digging deep into his character/personality. I just feel like there is more to him.

Hi anon, thank you so much! I’d be happy to write a character analysis for Saihara. I’m pretty sure I wrote some pieces specifically about his character back in the day, but those are all pretty old by now, and there’s definitely so much to talk about with his character.

Obviously discussing Saihara in-depth will cover spoilers for the entire game, so be careful when reading!

It’s interesting that you bring up the fact that Saihara tends to lack more character analyses, because I feel like this is kind of the result of a few different factors. First of all, there’s the fact that he was never originally advertised as the game’s protagonist. I know that the bait-and-switch with Kaede left many people conflicted; even years later, I see a lot of people saying that while they like Saihara a lot, they would’ve preferred for Kaede to live, or that they still don’t know quite how to feel about his role as a protagonist as a result.

Combine that with the fact that Saihara is simply so different in his role in the game than either Naegi or Hinata were, and I think this leaves a lot of people either uninterested in analyzing him as an individual character or unclear of where to start. Ndrv3’s themes as a whole are such a drastic departure from the Hope’s Peak arc of the first two games that Saihara himself sometimes tends to get overlooked, despite the fact that I firmly believe no one would have worked better as the protagonist of the game precisely because of these very different themes.

This itself is an interesting proposal, because at the same time, I also believe that ndrv3’s cast had the biggest potential for every single character to be the “protagonist” of their own narrative. Not only is this just straight-up alluded to with the reveal that Kiibo was actually the audience proxy, and therefore the “protagonist” through which most of the audience were experiencing the killing game in chapter 6, but we even get brief playable moments with both Maki and Himiko, further driving home the narrative that these characters all had the potential to be the main character. You could even argue that the abundance of ahoges in the ndrv3 cast is a tongue-in-cheek joke about how many people must have had “protagonist syndrome” when auditioning for the show.

But having a cast full of potential main characters still doesn’t negate the fact that Saihara was simply the best choice possible for the protagonist of ndrv3 specifically. I don’t believe we would’ve had nearly the same experience without viewing most of the events through the lens of his inner narration and character growth, and that his specific role in the story as the detective was the perfect way to encapsulate the game’s themes of truth and lies.

Let’s begin by discussing Saihara’s actual personality: he’s timid, riddled with anxiety, and incredibly prone to doubting himself and his own abilities. These traits are at the core of his arc of character development throughout the story, as he constantly struggles with his own feelings of inadequacy and lack of self-worth despite being the most vital contributor to everyone’s survival in the class trials.

Even before he’s revealed to be the true protagonist of the game, these traits are incredibly easy to see from an outside lens. By playing as Kaede, however briefly, we nonetheless get a good look at what Saihara is like even in chapter 1; his lack of self-esteem and debilitating issues with anxiety and doubt are, if anything, even more noticeable when put into such stark contrast with Kaede’s optimism, self-confidence, and attempts to bolster the group into working together and believing in one another.

In fact, it’s through Kaede that we first get a glimpse of Saihara’s backstory, and slowly come to understand that his timidity and anxiety are largely shaped by his past trauma. Saihara feels personally responsible for ruining a man’s life after accidentally uncovering the truth of the man’s crimes, then later learning that he was attempting to get revenge on the person who murdered his entire family. The knowledge that he not only ruined this man’s attempts at revenge, but that this person actively hates him with a passion, has left Saihara emotionally scarred and deeply afraid of even maintaining eye contact with others.

As simple as this little bit of backstory is, I really love it in all of its presentation, because even in chapter 1, it begins to paint a much clearer picture of what Saihara is like. His inability to say no to people and attempts to please everyone begin to make a lot more sense knowing that he is incredibly afraid of being hated or blamed by other people. His reluctance to come into his own as a detective or acknowledge his obvious talent makes perfect sense knowing that he can never fully “bring justice” to a number of crimes, and that his job is by definition one that sometimes makes other people miserable by shedding a light on the truth—even when, sometimes, it might be better to leave the truth covered up.

This established backstory also immediately sets Saihara apart from previous protagonists like Naegi and Hinata, by first shaping him into a separate character who we get to know in chapter 1, and only later re-introducing him as the actual protagonist of the game. This isn’t to say that Naegi and Hinata don’t have established character flaws, or that we don’t know anything about their life prior to the killing game. But these two are very clearly set up to be more of the “everyman” protagonist than Saihara ever was: characters who the reader can insert themselves into by some degree, and whose primary traits tend to revolve around feeling “average” or “mundane” in a way that your typical reader will usually relate to much more quickly.

This makes sense for the Hope’s Peak arc shared by both dr1 and sdr2. These games in particular are centered around the narrative of a “talent-driven society” where only the most talented, elite in their field are rewarded with entry into the “best school in the country”—a narrative that is no doubt supposed to be commentary on Japan’s extremely competitive academic system and society in real life.

With Naegi, we see perhaps the best example of a truly average, normal person thrust into a group of these whacky elites. We trust Naegi almost instantly as a protagonist, specifically because his lack of any particular superpower-like talent makes him more relatable to the reader. And his contributions to the trials and eventual friendships with the other students are meaningful precisely because they prove that you don’t need these incredible talents or make outstanding contributions to society in order to be a fundamentally good person who helps others and forges real, genuine bonds with people.

Hinata’s narrative takes this idea of averageness among “the elite” and takes it a step further in terms of narrative complexity: not only does Hinata lack any sort of talent or trait that would make him stand out, but specifically because of this, he desperately craves a talent of his own. Hinata is incredibly easy for readers to relate to as someone who, in a competitive society where talent is everything, feels useless and meaningless without an elite-level talent of his own. This struggle with identity and self-worth in a talent-driven society is something that most readers will also have experienced on some level, and so makes Hinata instantly relatable and likable for most people.

Which takes us back to Saihara—again, I want to stress how different the setup for his backstory and even his personality are from our previous two protagonists. Saihara isn’t meant to be a self-insert for the reader, or instantly identified with the same way Naegi and Hinata were.

Even other bits and pieces of his backstory and home life, which we learn from his FTEs with Kaede in chapter 1, as well as portions of their salmon mode together, show how incredibly eccentric Saihara is compared to the other two. Saihara doesn’t come from what one might call a “typical home life.” He’s estranged from his wealthy, celebrity parents, and lives with his uncle, who is also a detective. His FTEs reveal that he’s spent his time wrestling alligators and, to put it nicely, being a huge weirdo for most of his life. He’s not our “everyman protagonist” by any means; he’s yet another whacky Danganronpa character who happened to be thrust into the protagonist spotlight through his role as a detective.

In short, Saihara is not what most people would expect from a protagonist in any story, let alone a DR game. He’s certainly not the “everyman,” between his established backstory and somewhat eccentric home life. And he doesn’t have the usual set of traits most people would expect from a protagonist, either. Unlike Naegi and Kaede, who are by and large optimistic, cooperative, and somewhat confident in themselves, or Hinata, who is assertive and forward-thinking, Saihara is… extremely pessimistic, anxious, and lacks any confidence in himself whatsoever.

And yet, in spite of all this, I think many people can and do relate to Saihara. I know I certainly do. Having a character who explicitly struggles with issues like anxiety and depression, not only as the result of the killing game itself (which would understandably fuck anyone’s mental health up irreparably), but even before entering the game, is something I absolutely love about ndrv3. Saihara is hardly the only character to struggle with these issues within the DR franchise, or hell, even just within ndrv3 itself, but it’s hard to ignore how textually canon his depression is when he spends multiple scenes in chapter 5 lying in bed and thinking, “there’s no reason to live, there’s no reason to live” over and over again.

Saihara’s specific set of character traits may set him apart from the “average” reader, but for people who struggle themselves with mental health and self-worth, I think his character hits close to home in a very different way. Over and over again, throughout the narrative, Saihara is called “weak”—by the people around him and even by himself. This “weakness” is a fundamental part of his character that simply wasn’t there with Naegi or Hinata; while the two of them were certainly considered “average” in one way or another, they were never described as “weak” or “lacking what it takes to survive” the way Saihara consistently is.

And it’s true, on some level, that Saihara is what most people might consider “weak.” At the very least, he’s dependent: quick to latch on to anyone who shows him even the slightest sign of affirmation or support, reluctant to admit to his own talent or take credit for his own accomplishments, and unsure of whether he can actually meet other people’s expectations without some kind of helping hand or support.

We see him immediately grow attached first to Kaede, then later to Momota, constantly seeking out a larger, more charismatic personality to hide behind. He’s so unsure of himself that he would rather let other people who he sees as “more likable” or “more crucial” to the group get all the attention and the spotlight; we see this lampshaded somewhat in chapter 4, when everyone nonetheless begins to single him out as the main reason they’re still alive, and he’s clearly baffled and uncertain as to how to reply to the praise and recognition.

Even what little we see of his pregame self from his audition video fits within this framework. Despite a lot of fan portrayals of pregame Saihara (often called “Inchara” or “Kagehara” in a lot of Japanese fanworks) as someone undeniably “evil” or “irredeemable” for actively wanting to participate in a killing game… in the end, all we really know about him is that he is desperate to die. He talks about wanting to kill people, yes, but the emphasis is placed on how much thought and effort he put into his own execution. Even before entering the killing game at all, we can clearly see that Saihara went in with the specific intention of dying.

He wants to play a detective if at all possible, but it’s clear that he’s desperate, nearly feverish, at the idea of “being a part of the world of Danganronpa” at all, in any capacity. This obsession itself feels like a form of unhealthy attachment, and is a clear sign that he (and most of the participants, if we’re reading between the lines) is so damaged and downright suicidal that he views getting 15 minutes of fame on his favorite TV show as the absolute best way to go out. In a word, he’s still “weak,” long before becoming the fictional character version of “Shuuichi Saihara,” and it’s this weakness that Tsumugi herself says she wanted to encapsulate in the show, by making him “weaker than anyone else.”

It’s this “weakness” that I honestly love best about Saihara’s entire character. Because while a large part of his character arc is certainly about becoming stronger and more confident in himself, it’s also a fact that his “weakness” never explicitly goes away. His depression isn’t just magically cured by the end of the story, and he doesn’t wake up one day deciding that his struggle with suicidal thoughts or feelings of worthlessness are over. If anything, chapter 6 ends with a huge subversion of this “magically cured” trope in most fiction, by having Saihara embrace his own weakness as something that actually helps him arrive at a third option when presented with the seemingly black-or-white choice of “hope vs. despair.”

Saihara is, as he admits himself, “weak.” He’s unable to choose the forward-facing optimism that “hope” represents in the killing game—moreso if that “hope” only contributes to the cycle of the killing game itself, enticing people into wanting to see more and more of it. But he doesn’t pick “despair” either, exactly. His inability to choose between this forced dilemma is specifically because he realizes how sick and cruel it really is, and empathizes all the more deeply with the suffering he and his classmates went through. It’s this “weakness” of his that allows him to really put into words how much pain they all went through, and how their pain matters, regardless of whether they’re fictional or not.

It’s an incredible moment in the game, and probably the point at which he became my favorite protagonist in the DR franchise, as well as one of my favorite characters in the series overall. Saihara’s character arc, unlike Naegi and Hinata, was never about “moving forward” or “choosing hope.” He says himself that he’s not the kind of person who can simply make a choice like that. Rather, his arc is about toeing the grey line between “truth” and “lies.”

As we mentioned earlier, Saihara is a detective. In any mystery novel, a detective’s role is to seek out the truth and expose it, no matter how tragic or upsetting the outcome might be. So it’s interesting, then, that by the end of the game, Saihara ultimately comes to understand and even value the concept of “lies.” For someone who knows exactly how painful the truth can be, and who is unable to simply live life optimistically in spite of that truth, the recognition of “gentle lies” told for the sake of helping someone cope, of finding meaning in an otherwise meaningless or cruel life, is incredibly important.

Unlike the Hope’s Peak arc, which sort of placed “hope vs. despair” as some very black-or-white battle with a clear winner (even when some aspects of the series, like dr3, also sort of suggest the idea that it’s an ongoing cycle that keeps repeating itself), there is no real battle or winner between the concept of “truth and lies.” In the end, both are equally important. Saihara both embraces his role as a detective and acknowledges the power that the truth has on people, while simultaneously acknowledging that lies (and therefore fiction) also has power and can be used to influence people and even inspire the world.

This character development is just absolutely fantastic to see, after watching Saihara struggle with so much pain and grief over the course of the game. Seeing a character actually acknowledge the importance of “lies” and “fiction” precisely because of how important of a motivator it can be to depressed, broken people is incredibly satisfying, and not something we often get in most stories. The fact that Saihara is so undeniably “weak,” that he isn’t the type of character you would usually expect to live to the end given how suicidal and deeply traumatized he is, makes his survival at the very end all the more of an uplifting message.

You don’t need to be “cured” to find a reason to live. You don’t have to magically wake up with the most positive, forward-facing outlook in life. You can be “weak” and depressed and hurting inside, and in the end, you still deserve to live, and have the opportunity to find meaning in your own life, whether it’s through truth or fiction.

This has gotten pretty long by now, but I hope I could make it clear exactly why I love Saihara so much. I understand people’s dissatisfaction with the protagonist-swap, and while I perfectly understand that he isn’t for everyone, he’s still a fantastically written character in my opinion, with a wonderful and meaningful arc of development that really resonated with me, as someone who also has struggled with similar mental health issues. I think the decision to do something extremely different from Naegi and Hinata was an excellent decision, and while I still love both of them as characters in their own right, Saihara is just so compelling both as an individual character and the protagonist of ndrv3.

Thank you for the question anon, and thank you to those of you who read to the end! I hope I could offer a decent character analysis!

[frauleinjustice]

Saimatsu Valentines Day Prompt!

Heeey, my good peoples! Happy Valentines Day!! ♥ Naturally, I wanted to write a cute little oneshot for it~ This time: with my saimatsu babies!! I just thought it would be cute to write something for them for once, hehe...

Summary: For Valentines Day, Kaede wanted to make homemade chocolates for her crush, Shuichi. But since she normally never cooks, she had Maki assist her in making chocolates that actually come out good. And not only will she want to give him romantic chocolates, but: finally confess how she feels, too...

So yeah, I hope you all will enjoy! And as always, thank you so much in advanced if you decide to give it a read. May you all have a nice day, and indulge in some chocolatey treats, regardless if you celebrate today or not! 🍫

"What the hell, Akamatsu." Was the immediate reaction of Maki once she saw the disaster of a kitchen before her very eyes. Splotches of ingredients stained the counter, bowls messily stacked upon each other, and the pot Kaede had used to whisk everything together... was completely burnt at the bottom. And the practice chocolates she had made... looked burnt and greatly misshapen.

"H-Hahah....haaah....." Is the only thing the pianist can utter in response, before she gives several bows. "S-Sorry! I tried to make them on my own, I-I really did! But it uh... diiidn't go exactly well..." She laughs weakly, with even her apron looking like a mess. Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day: the reason Kaede had even attempted to try making chocolates in the first place. While she normally would buy chocolates for her friends... this time, she wanted to actually make them for a very special person. That person being: Saihara Shuichi. To pretty much everyone else in their class-aside from the very boy himself, funnily enough-it was obvious as day Kaede had a big crush on the detective. Not only did she want to give him chocolates that were homemade... but ones that were supposed to be romantic. Even if the thought of giving the guy she likes chocolates was completely nerve-wrecking, not only knowing if he’d like romantic chocolates from her or if he’ll even realize they’re supposed to be romantic: she wanted to believe it would go well, shaking her head of the thoughts of it going badly.

Though... the progress of actually trying to make chocolates, as Maki could see: was not exactly going well at all. Kaede normally isn't allowed to cook, as to avoid the risk of her injuring her fingers, due to being a pianist. It was times like these where she really wished she could cook, since there was no way she was going to give Shuichi these badly made attempts. That's why Maki was here: in a near desperate plea, Kaede called her to ask her to come to her house so she could help her out. Reluctantly, the "child caregiver" gave in and came over after enough begging, since actually she felt a bit bad for Kaede. Sighing, she just shakes her head and goes to tie her hair up in a single high ponytail. "Yeah, I can see that. Fine, I'll help you: but you're still going to be doing most of the work. It's for Saihara, after all."

"Yes!!" She nods, pumping her fists. "All you have to do is watch my progress, make sure I don't screw up! Thanks once again in advance for this!" 

A small mumble in response, Maki goes to grab some of the used dishes. "Let's clean up first and then grab a clean apron."

"O-Okay..!" Once the girls take a moment to clean the counter and wash the dishes, Kaede places her stained apron in a laundry basket, before grabbing a clean one, along with giving Maki one. They start setting up the bowls, kitchen tools, and pot they'll need. Kaede also had a silicone heart mold tray she'll use, which makes Maki have to wonder how she still managed to mess up the shapes of them, anyway. As they're measuring out the ingredients, Kaede shows Maki the recipe for homemade chocolates she had been using. "And then for an extra ingredient, I wanted to add espresso powder... so they can be espresso flavored dark chocolates! Since Saihara-kun likes coffee and all...y-you think he'll like it?"

"...Probably." Is her nonchalant answer before she adds:  "I mean... I'm sure he will, I guess. Saihara is cheesy enough to like whatever you'd make him, anyway. ‘Because Akamatsu-san made it!’ or whatever he’d say..." Her imitation of Shuichi, and the crack of a smirk on her face, made it obvious she was joking.

"Heheh.... yeah, I could see him saying that, too. Then, yeah: I’m sure he’ll probably like it, then! Okay, so first things first: melting the coconut oil in the pot!" A nod from Maki to indicate her to go ahead, she watches Kaede head over to the pot to start emptying the bowl of coconut oil into the pot... after cracking the fire up way too high. 

".........." Immediately, Maki goes over to turn the fire down to a much lower level.  "Don't have the fire up so high, you'll burn the coconut oil."

"O-Oh...!" Blinking in surprise, she turns to Maki and gives a flustered nod. “Thank you, sorry!" Sighing, Maki makes sure to keep a close eye on her as she stirs the gradually melting oil. Once it is completely melted, Kaede transfers it to a mixing bowl. It would now be time to add the  cocoa powder, honey, vanilla, and sea salt to the mixture, along with the additional flavor of espresso powder. 

"Don't whisk it so hard, and not so fast, either. You're trying to make sure all the ingredients are incorporated together, not making splotches fly everywhere."

"R-Right...!" Since that was the exact mistake Kaede made with the practice chocolates. This time, she was whisking at a much better speed and pace, avoiding making a big mess and making her arm necessarily more sore. "This is already coming out a million times better than before. You really know your stuff, Harukawa-san!" She chimes, a smile widening on her face. "Did you already make some, yourself? Fooor..." Her smile turns more mischievous. "Momota-kun?"

"!?" As if hitting the nail on the head, Maki's face quickly turns red as she tries giving an intimidating glare to Kaede. "D...Do you want to die? Why would I want to give chocolates t-to that idiot... now don't say such stupid things..."

"Hahah, sorry, sorry! I was just teasing you!" Though that reaction told Kaede everything. She didn't want to risk teasing Maki too much, though, so she refrains from saying that, and instead gives her a softer smile. "Really though... thank you. I would've been so hopeless without you!"

"Hmph...." Pouting, she begins stroking her ponytail. "...Don't worry about it. Maybe next time you won't be such a disaster at it." Despite her blunt words, there wasn't actual annoyance in her voice. Maki truly didn't mind helping Kaede out. Even if she found the girl a bit much and annoying at times: she wasn't against considering her a friend. That, and she knows Shuichi feels the same way for Kaede. He was one of her closest friends, alongside Kaito, and Kaede to a lesser extent: so she wanted this to go well for them both, hence why she was secretly happy to help. 

Chortling in response, Kaede continues mixing until the chocolate mixture is fully incorporated with no lumps left. She carefully pours the mixture in the silicone mold before placing them in the freezer. "Alright, there we go! Can't wait to see how they'll look..!" In the meantime while the chocolates begin to harden, Kaede and Maki take that time to clean up the kitchen. Around half an hour later, Kaede checks on the chocolates. "Ohhh...!" By then, they had hardened. She takes the tray out of the freezer and sets it on the counter. Popping a chocolate heart out, she turns it around to give it a good look. The chocolate wasn't misshapen, lumpy, burnt... much better than how Kaede's first batch came out. "Harukawa-san, look! They came out perfectly! We did it!!" She cheers, putting it back in its slot before cupping Maki's hands. 

"Ah, hey-!" Flinching in surprise from the sudden contact, she just rolls her eyes and sighs. "Yeah, yeah... though it was mostly just you, Akamatsu. I just made sure you wouldn't make the kitchen look like a disaster, again."

"Ahaha... well, still! I wouldn't have been able to do this without your help. Thank you so much...! Now I feel even more confident giving these to Saihara-kun tomorrow." Now all she would need to do is pack them in a chocolate box and give them to Shuichi. Nervous excitement was already building up in her for tomorrow. Will it go well? Will he accept her chocolates... and her confession? Kaede was normally not on to think of a worse case scenario, but even she couldn't help the anxious feeling bubbling up in her if everything doesn't go right. "So, ah... wish me luck! H-Heheh..." She nervously rubs the back of her head. "Not to scare myself or anything, but who knows how tomorrow will go, you know...? And if it's alright with you... I'll want to tell you how it goes afterwards, too."

"Well... if that's what you want. I don't mind. Though... don't act like it could possibly go wrong, or whatever. Saihara's never outright said it, but: I bet he's hoping to get chocolates from you. So... yeah: good luck." And for a moment, a hint of a smile appears on Maki's face.

"Harukawa-san...." Smiling warmly, she could feel some of her nervousness seeping away. "That's right... I just have to believe that it will be okay. I'll make sure it does! Thank you so much...! Okay, then I'll be sure to tell you how it goes..!"

With that, Valentines Day arrives the next day. Kaede had told Shuichi to meet her in a quiet area of campus after school this morning, without telling him the exact reason why. While Shuichi was curious, he thankfully didn't persist, much to Kaede's relief. Though her being unusually more nervous around him during class probably gave an obvious hint as to what the reason may be: Shuichi still didn't want to assume anything... even if he's hoping it's for the exact reason Kaede wants to see him.

Once classes were over for the day, Kaede immediately headed to their meeting spot: an area on campus that was a bit off the path, but was quiet with no one really around. She wanted to give him chocolates in a quiet area where no one could be nosy. "Okay... looks like I made it first. Hggh..." Cupping her arm, she can feel the nervousness kicking right back up as she stares down at the ground. ("Come on, Kaede, don't get nervous already.. he hasn't even shown up yet!")

"...san.."

("Like Harukawa-san said: don't like it could possibly go wrong. A-And if even she thinks Saihara-kun may like me back...!")

"...san? Akamatsu-sa...."

She shakes her head, completely unaware of the soft voice from behind calling out to her. ("So come on, be optimistic! It will go well! Just believe in yourself!! When he arrives,  I'll... I'll give him the chocolates, and tell him how I fe-")

"Akamatsu-san!"

Pouting, she swiftly turned around and was about to yell at the person who dares interrupt her- "Geez, what is it, can't you see I'm busy he-?!" Before finally noticing who it was, gasping. "Ah! S-Saihara-kun!!" At his understandably confused reaction, she gives a few frantic bows. "S-Sorry, I didn't notice you there!"

Blinking, he gives a reassuring shake of his head and waves his hand in the air. "A-Ah, it's, um... it's alright. Hi... I'm sorry for taking a moment, I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

"No, no, you're fine! I literally just got here myself, so you're not late. But yeah, hey! Thanks for being willing to do this! I hope it wasn't too sudden a request..."

"Ah, not at all! I don't mind. It seemed like you wanted to tell me something important, so..."

"Y...Yeah..." Before she begins, Kaede takes a quick moment to look around. It was still just them around here, just as she hoped. A soft exhale, she looks back up at the boy. "...Okay, so! You've probably... already guessed why I called you out here, but... still. There's something I... wanted to give you, Saihara-kun. It's in my bag: one moment..." Trying to ignore the increasingly rapid pounding in her heart, Kaede reaches into her backpack to take the box of chocolates out.

"!" Shuichi's eyes widen when he sees it. "Oh! That's...!" He is presented with a heart-shaped chocolate box, with a white bow wrapped around it. 

She bows slightly as she holds the chocolates out to him. "F...For you, Saihara-kun: Happy Valentines Day...! I-I... made them, myself!"

"Ahh? You... made these? For me..?" A soft, surprised gasp leaves his lips as he stares down at the box of chocolates. Shuichi knew the pianist was normally not allowed to cook. So for her to not only give him chocolates, but ones that she made, herself...  "......." A blush starts to creep onto his face. So his prediction was right, after all... he was surprised, but so happy and relieved. "Akamatsu-san... thank you..." Finally, he gently takes the box of chocolates out of her hands. A shy, yet bright smile appears on his lips. "I'm flattered you would want to give me homemade chocolates..! If it's okay, I would love to try them right now."

"Of course…!" Standing back up straight, she smiles bashfully at him, a soft blush on her face. "And yeah, that's totally fine! I hope you'll love them, Saihara-kun...!"

"I'm sure I will, since Akamatsu-san made them, after all! H-Hehe..." 

"Hehe...!" She couldn't help but giggle with him, recalling how Maki said that he would say something just like that. Though it really did make her happy: to hear that Shuichi was confident he was going to like her chocolates. He beckons her to walk over to the nearby tree with them to sit down. Shuichi places the box on his lap before opening it up, an amazed hum leaves his lips when seeing how nice the heart-shaped chocolates look. 

"Ohh… These look very nicely made. Alright, let's try one..." Picking one of the pieces up, Shuichi pops it into his mouth. "Mm..." He takes a moment to savor the flavor, a delighted hum emitting from him. Kaede watches him in anticipation, eagerly yet anxiously awaiting his response. Once he's finished the piece, he looks at Kaede with a smile and an approving nod. "Akamatsu-san, these are so good...! Just as I thought, I love these.” 

"!!!" Seeing he loved it, her eyes light up and a smile widens on her face as she clasps her hands together. "Yay!! I'm so glad to hear that, Saihara-kun! They're espresso flavored dark chocolates.”  She eagerly informs. “I thought, since you like coffee, why not add that additional flavor to them? And Harukawa-san helped me with this, too, since I was a complete disaster trying to make them myself."  She chuckles sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "So it's honestly thanks to her that these turned out much better than I ever could've made them on my own..."

"Ohh? Espresso flavored, I see... so that's why there was a coffee taste to them. I'm so honored you took that into consideration, Akamatsu-san... they taste absolutely amazing."  He smiles softly, giving an intrigued hum. "Ohh, Harukawa-san did, huh? Haha, that was sweet of her to do. But still, it was mostly your hard work that made the chocolates come out as tasty as they did, yes? So I think you should give yourself some more credit... and say, rather: with her help, they came out even better than they already would have, even if you did make them on your own."

"S...Saihara-kun...." A light blush appears on her cheeks. It was always things like that: the sincere, kind things Shuichi said... that made her fall for the boy in the first place. "Th-Thank you for having so much faith in me like that... makes me very happy to hear."

“Of course..." Shuichi picks up another piece and eats it, savoring it just as much as the first piece. Kaede made these for him.... even if she normally doesn't cook, she went out of her way to make homemade chocolates or him. The more he's reminded of that, the more his cheeks heat up and his heart thumps softly in his chest. And for a moment... "......." He wondered if he should ask this, but decided to go for it, a nervous exhale leaving him before he spoke up. 

"S-Say, um..... Akamatsu-san? I hope this is not an, um... strange question to ask, but: are these....ah....friendship chocolates?"

"!" Kaede's eyes widened in surprise at his question. "Ah...!" Even though she knew it was coming, she didn't expect him to ask so directly like that. "N-No, it's not strange! I'm just surprised you just came out with it, haha. But, um..." Now it was the moment of truth. The nervousness from before was quickly kicking back into high gear. She was going to say it... she was finally going to say how she feels, once she confirms that these chocolates were completely intended to be romantic. Taking a few deep breaths to keep herself calm... she looks back at him and shakes her head. "No: they aren't friendship chocolates. I... when I made these for you, the intention was... romantic. Th-They are... romantic chocolates."

"....!" Shuichi freezes at her clarification. "A...Ah...." He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. He was nervously anticipating what kind of answer she would give. That part of him hoping so badly that his assumption was wrong. "R...Romantic chocolates?" 

"Yes.... so that's why I wanted to do my best to make sure these chocolates came out great. Since I wanted to make... um.... the guy th-that I... that I like, happy." She chuckles shyly, feeling her cheeks heat up again. "I... really like you, Saihara-kun. U-Um: like, like! Since I have a r-really big crush on you and all, a-and!! Wanted to finally tell you that through these homemade chocolates...!" And then once she finally got that out, she hangs her head low, wanting to hide the only worsening blush on her cheeks. The embarrassment she was feeling over stammering her confession out quicker than she had hoped aside... a big wave of relief washed over her after finally telling the detective how she feels. And now it was time for the most nerve-wrecking part of all: awaiting his response. 

"........." Shuichi just stares at her, too shocked to form an immediate response. His eyes are widened and a deep blush crosses his face. "Ah. A-Ah..." She likes him.... Kaede, the girl he truthfully has been crushing on badly in turn, likes him: like, likes him, as she stated. He could feel his heart bouncing around like crazy in his chest, feeling so overwhelmingly happy right now. He heard exactly what he was hoping so badly to hear: just as much as he was hoping these were not platonic chocolates. "You like...me...? H-Had a crush on...me? Oh..." He stares down at the ground, one hand to his chest as he gives a few deep breaths. Kaede was brave enough to confess her feelings... so he wanted to give her a proper response back.  "....Akamatsu-san." 

She gave two nods in confirmation at his questions. And when he calls her name like that, knowing he wants her to look up at him. "......." Nervous as she is to, she brings herself to slowly lift her head back up.  "S...Saihara-kun."

"S-Sorry, I was honestly at a loss of words for a moment. A-Ahaha..." He chuckles softly, bashfully scratching his cheek.  "I never thought that... you'd feel that way about me. And in all honesty, when I asked you if these were platonic chocolates... I was really hoping you would say no. I-I hope that's not selfish of me. Especially since it…. made me so happy that wasn't the case. Because... if there was anyone I was hoping to get romantic chocolates from... it  was from you."

"!" Kaede perks up at that. "R...Really? You were... hoping they wouldn't be platonic ones? And that... you were hoping they would be from me?"

"Yes..." For a moment, he hesitates when suddenly moving his arm, wondering if he should do it… before he dares to bring his hand towards Kaede’s to rest it gently on top of hers. It makes a soft gasp leave her, Shuichi ready to move his hand away if it was being too forward. But seeing she doesn't move her hand away, nor looks uncomfortable... he keeps it there before continuing. "I wouldn't have cared to get them from anyone else but you. Since.. since I..." Even if he knows she feels the same, he still feels his face heat up. Then with a soft exhale, he tells her: "...I feel the same, Akamatsu-san. I-I... like you, too. And for a long while, I have. So... I'm so happy that you return my feelings." He goes to intertwine their fingers just a bit... before giving her the warmest smile she's ever seen on his face.

"Saihara-kun...!" She feels her face turn redder when he intertwines their fingers together. And to hear it back: that Shuichi returns her feelings as well. "I...you...!" Relief washed over Kaede... before an overwhelming amount of happiness started bubbling in her. And before she knew it, Kaede lunged forward to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

"W-Woah...!" Shuichi yelps out in surprise from the sudden hug, his other having quickly secured a grip on the box of chocolates so that they wouldn't fall off his lap. Once he made sure they were secure on his lap, he gave a soft chuckle and shyly wrapped his arms around her to return the hug, cheeks turning a darker shade of red. "Ahaha.... Akamatsu-san..."

"H-Hehehe... sorry, I'm just... so happy! That the guy I like... likes me back!! I was so nervous... but now I'm so relieved!" She laughs, burying her face in his shoulder for a moment to stifle her giggles. The biggest, brightest smile was on her face. He returned her feelings.... he likes her back... The more she processed this, the happier she felt. She couldn't have felt any happier that she took that risk to make these chocolates for him and confess.

Shuichi gives her a soft squeeze in the hold, closing his eyes and just sighs so happily. She felt so nice to hug... he almost didn't want to let go of her. "I'm so happy, too... probably the happiest I've ever been."

"Me too...!" And for a moment they continue hugging like that, Kaede not wanting to leave his warm embrace anytime soon either... but eventually, they break away, Kaede going to sit back down in her spot. "S-So um! I guess that means we're... dating now, huh?"

"Dating..." Even just muttering it makes him flustered. "Hehe... y-yes, I suppose that does mean that, huh? Homemade chocolates from my...g-girlfriend. Thank you so much again..." For a second, he smiles at her... before deciding to lean in and place the softest kiss to her cheek. "I-I ah: hope that was okay to do..."

"!" Kaede uttered a surprised noise at the peck, making her cheeks heat up again before she giggles and nods her head. "O-Of course! You're my...b-boyfriend, after all! H-Hehe..." Humming in content, Kaede gently leans against Shuichi. She feels a gentle breeze brush through them, closing her eyes for a moment to enjoy it. She felt so content, wanting time to just stop for a moment. The guy she likes, she loves: was now hers... and she is his. "Sh...Shuichi-kun. Can I call you that? Um, I've never really been in a relationship before, so sorry if I'm a bit awkward at this at first, but: I promise... I'll be the best girlfriend I can be for you. One that will make you happy... and always make you feel loved."

"Ah..." His heart soars when she calls him by his first name. And hearing just the amount of sincerity in her tone couldn't help but make him chuckle, finding it so cute: finding her so cute...  "You're so sweet.... though you've always been such a caring and loving person who always makes me happy whenever I spend time with you. And... I promise to do the same. R-Relationships are just as new for me, too, but... that just means we’ll be able to experience what one is like, together. I will make sure to be nothing but a great boyfriend to you, too. You deserve to feel just as happy and loved, Akamatsu-san. A-Ah, well.. if you're going to call me 'Shuichi-kun'....th-then: K...Kaede-san..." Even just uttering her first name makes his cheeks red, but felt so nice. 

"Mmhm... please call me Kaede..." She hums, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder as she goes to wrap both her arms around his arm. "...Shuichi-kun...." She opens her eyes back up halfway. Then turning her head to look up at him, she gives  him a look just spilling with warmth and love. "...I love you..." 

"Kaede-san..." A quiet sigh of awe leaves him when seeing the look she gives. A look that would be reserved just for him. He couldn't feel any luckier... and in turn, he gave her a look and smile just as warm and loving, one hand going to gently cup her cheek.  She loves him... it felt so nice to hear. "...I love you, too. I always will." 

"Hehe... me too...." She nuzzles her cheek against his hand, sighing so happily. "....Shuichi-kun: ....let's kiss...." Kaede slowly leans her head closer to his. "....If that's okay? I really want to..."

"....Of course." He begins to slowly lean in as well, his thumb gently stroking her cheek. "...I'd love that more than anything." 

"I'm glad... Then.... And as their eyes slowly come to a close, shifting slightly so that Shuichi wraps his free arm around Kaede's waist, and Kaede now wraps both her arms around his neck once more... they close the distance in a soft kiss. A soft hum emits from them, loving how nice the other's lips felt. She could taste a hint of the chocolates on his lips as well, which made her muffle a small giggle. Kaede's heart was pounding so hard in her chest, giving his lips several smacks during the kiss. It makes a delighted sigh vibrate through Shuichi, one of his hands proceeding to rub small circles in her back. Her first kiss with her new boyfriend... she wanted to indulge as long as she could before they would have to break away. 

And even once they do, their kiss slowly lingers... before Shuichi dares to take the bold initiative this time and draws her right back into a kiss. She happily welcomes it, feeling her heart bounce even more she feels him press his lips firmer against hers, with Kaede doing the same. One of her hands gets tangled in his hair, slowly combing through the smooth black locks. This kiss is longer, deeper... and full of much more love packed into it. When they break away, they softly pant as they stare lovestruck at each other, both of their faces flushed red. "Th-That... felt nice..."

"Yeah... it really did...." She continues stroking his hair, Shuichi nuzzling his head against her hand as he utters a content hum. "Today... couldn't have gone any better. Not only did you enjoy your chocolates, but now you're my boyfriend, too! Hehehe I can't wait to tell Harukawa-san the great news!"

"Hahaha.... and I guess I'll tell Momota-kun as well. I did wonder why he told me 'Good luck' before I left to come meet you here..." He chuckles. "But yes, I truly did, Kaede-san. Ah!" Picking a piece up, he offers her one. "I know you made these for me, but I would love to enjoy them together with you."

She chuckles at that, not surprised Kaito knew exactly why he had been called to come here by her. Then when he offers her one of the pieces, she blinks in surprise. "Oh! Well if you'd like to: sure, thanks!" She takes the piece, and plops half of it into her mouth. And just to tease him... with the other half sticking out of her mouth, she bops her head forward, gesturing him to come closer while muttering: "Mm, mm!"

"Wha-?!" Face blowing up in red, Shuichi starts flailing his hands. "W-W-Wait a minute, th-that's-!! I-I mean I ah, I'm not saying 'no', b-but-"

"Hehehemmph!" The chocolate stifling her laugh, she finishes it completely before she starts laughing even more. "I-I was just teasing you, Shuichi-kun, hahaha! But were you really going to be up for it? Woah... Shuichi-kun is bolder than I thought!"

"Ah... o-ohh, geez! Kaede-san!!" He huffs, blushing even more in embarrassment as he gives her arm the lightest bap... before he starts breaking into laughter, too. "V...Very funny! Hahah...!"

"Heheh...!" She gives him a playful nudge to his arm, before they continue to enjoy more chocolates together. She still couldn't believe how well today went. With Maki's help, the chocolates came out great, Shuichi loved them... and realizing he loved her too when she confessed. Now she felt silly for having doubts, and couldn't feel anymore grateful that she was just worrying over nothing in the end. She already couldn't wait to get back home and play a song that expresses the amount of happiness and love she feels for the boy next to her. And maybe, she thinks to herself: she'll play it for him one day, too.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Mod, who are your top 10 favorite characters and top 10 least favorite?

//I have actually been wanting to discuss something like this, so I’m glad someone brought it up to me.

//I’ll go through with this, but I won’t be discussing my least favorites, since I don’t want to bring any negativity, and to be honest, I enjoy writing pretty much everyone in this blog. I also fear if I share who my least favorites are in the main series, said characters won’t get as many asks, and I don’t want any unfair bias. I can definitely admit to hating Haiji though, because...well...he obviously won't be receiving any questions anymore. Besides, I doubt many people will disagree with me.

Honorable Mentions:

Makoto Naegi

Mahiru Koizumi

Kirumi Tojo

Kaede Akamatsu

Tsumugi Shirogane

Shuichi Saihara

Iroha Nijiue

Mikihiko Koyasunaga

Yoruko Kabuya

Tsurugi Kinjo

Uchui Porosen

Kibin Hatsudoki

//Though to be honest, everyone may as well be an honorable mention because I love writing every single one of these guys. Also, like I just said, don’t let this top 10 affect your asks. I love every character in this blog and I’m happy to make asks for each and every one of them. It was really hard to narrow it down to 10

#10: Tenko Chabashira

This might seem a little surprising, given that Tenko hasn't had a whole lot of screen time and story relevance so far. She's only been prominent in two arcs, Deadly Harmony and Novoselic Revolution, both of which she didn't have as much screen time as most of the other characters. However, not to spoil anything major, I have big plans for her, and what I've pulled out of her so far is something I'm proud of. My main goal is mainly to give her a bit of development, and tone down on the sexism element of her character. Not remove it entirely, mind you, because let's be real, Tenko unfortunately isn't Tenko without it, but basically to not do what the DR dev team did and make it the forefront of her character, while her other exceedingly good traits are just at the back until later on in the story.

#09: Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi is one of, if not, my favorite character in the original DR series. My main goal of him in this series is trying to grapple with his constantly changing attitude, mainly towards the DRV3 cast besides himself. At first he's glad to see them, then he turns spiteful towards Shuichi and Kaede when they try to fight him, then he straight up just abandons them and attempts to cut off contact. As he is right now, he's conflicted about how to feel about everyone. Sure, they all still hate him, but during Cabaret Kyojin's they came to his defense when he most needed it. That whole arc might've seemed pretty pointless and acted as needless filler, but my true intention of it was to flesh out the characters involved, mainly Kokichi and Kuripa. Speaking of which, that's another plot point that I'm looking forward to branching upon: the little companionship those two have going on right now.

#08: Monaca Towa

Monaca is a character I actually tend to struggle with in the grand scheme of things. The reason being that, arguably, she in canon is the second biggest antagonist in the series behind Junko. What I tried to do with Survivor though, is not make her an antagonist, but make her slowly become more and more redeemable, despite her actions. The reason why I went with this approach is mainly due to Monaca's last appearance in the series, where she states to Toko and Komaru that she's kind of just done with everything to do with Junko and Despair. I don't think it would be easy to bring her back as an antagonist because of THAT fiasco, and that is legitimately one of favorite scenes of her...which is funny because it's from DR3 and I kinda hate the anime. Her whole presence in Survivor is based around the idea of trying to seek redemption, but she doesn't outwardly want to admit this, nor does she really think she's worthy or deserving of said redemption. She's an adult now, and she grew a conscience. A guilty one that weighs her down and makes her come back to earth to basically settle things and make peace, and though it's been difficult, I love how she's turned out so far.

#07: Akira Tsuchiya

I understand many have their reservations about Akira after what he did this arc, but he's still legitimately one of my favorite villains in this blog because despite the fact that he's a psychopath who kills and ruins people all just for causing Despair, he's just kinda super relatable. He constantly lives with the attitude of just being done with everyone's shit, and I know a lot of DR fans can relate to that. He's also the kind of guy who marches to the beat of his own drum, which is obviously a very slow beat. He rarely ever does what Tsumugi tells him to do, unless the plan interests him or gives him something to do, and his character in general is based around the idea of "Shut-in NEET who just so happens to have a power complex." Overall, what makes him unique to me is just how normal he is, especially when he's compared to the chaotic sea that is the Danganronpa Villains.

#06: Mikan Tsumiki

Novoselic Revolution had the very important role in the story of mending Mikan. Without her efforts and the sacrifices she made in that arc, there's a high chance that the group would have failed to retake the kingdom from Angie and Mikihiko. It goes without saying that the screentime Mikan got in this arc was some of my absolute favorite moments on this blog from a writers perspective. A lot of people in DR dislike Mikan for her actions and character change in the third case of the second game, which I really don't think is fair. Mikan was just the character chosen to be afflicted with the Despair Disease. Nothing else would have been changed had it been a different character, so her role early on in Survivor is mainly her trying to come to terms with her actions, as well as things like making things right with Hiyoko (and Ibuki by extrension) and reevaluating whether or not she's a good person. Mikan is an emotionally and mentally broken child, and it's my full intent in my writing of her to heal her wounds like she does for so many other people.

#05: Narumi Osone

Easily my favorite Zetsubou villain in the blog. During Novoselic Revolution, I really buttered up how much I enjoyed writing Mikihiko, but in reality, I was just waiting for the Rebirth Duo (her and Akira) to burst onto the scene. She didn't make for as great a twist villain in Life and Lies of Akeru Yozora as I would've liked her to be, but even now, I still feel like she left an impact. I mean, she committed quite the number of atrocities. The main reason why I like Narumi though, is how she diverges from the rest of the Zetsubou group. While most of them are doing their evil things for reasons that constitute to causing as much Despair as possible, she does it for almost the complete opposite reason. She absolutely despises Despair, and the only reason she's with Organization Zetsubou, is so that she can patiently await and watch as the Hope that stems from the people fighting back. It's also plays into her ideal. Narumi is so obsessed with Hope that she believes that anyone and everyone who is without hope, and gives into Despair, doesn't deserve to live (and ideal that also allows her to easily hit it off with Nagito). To name the best example: The UUV. Their revenge fantasy is based around the Despair they feel post Ayumu and Marin's deaths, and not around the Hope of their goal of reforming society, even if by force. When Narumi notices this, is angers her so much she murders all of them in cold blood, believing them to be beyond redemption. As a final note, Narumi's violent nature and lust for bloodshed (and lest not forget her weird obsession with Makoto) is also made all the more tragic when you remember she's literally just a 14 year old kid with not a lot of life experience. For someone to be this far gone at such a young age is pretty depressing, but it also provides me with a lot of great writing opportunities, and god damn it she isn't a fun character to write.

#04: Mukuro Ikusaba.

I could pretty much just copy/paste the basic things I said about Monaca's personal conflict for Mukuro, but on a much more extreme level. This is something that I plan on actually branching on later down the line, but Mukuro's backstory and reason why she has a presence here is briefly mentioned by Sayaka in one post. To sum up what she said, when the Foundation were first starting to use the machines to bring back the victims of the first killing game, Makoto was the one who suggested possibly bringing Mukuro back, something that understandably, his classmates initially were against. However, at the time, Kyoko was still new to being the Foundation Chairwoman, and Makoto very much pressed the issue with her. Kyoko eventually agreed to the resurrection, but in exchange, any and all actions committed by the soldier, most notably any treacherous or bad ones, would subsequently be Makoto's responsibility. Of course, as you can imagine, Makoto accepted these terms, and Mukuro was resurrected. For a while afterwards, many were very wary of her presence, and most didn't outright accept her as a member of the Foundation, even when the Remnants of Despair officially signed up. What you have to remember is that Mukuro wasn't really brainwashed into helping Junko, at least not in the same way that the Remnants were. Most of what she did for Junko is what she did willingly, but Makoto felt that in reality, Mukuro was just another one of Junko's victims and she'd never known Hope in her life, which is why she turned out so chaotic, so his whole intention of reviving her was to redeem her honor, of which he was pretty much successful. The main trait of Mukuro's though that I tend to focus on, is arguably her most serious: her PTSD. Of all the characters who could have been hit hard with PTSD, it makes the most sense for it to be a soldier, and since the beginning of her revival, Mukuro has been cursed by the lingering ghost of her dead Despair sister. Junko's presence in her mind less drives Mukuro insane though, and simply makes her doubt herself and her presence, wondering if it was worth being revived, or whether or not she truly deserves to live. But regardless of how she feels, she's duty bound to the end, and still supports everyone unquestionably, especially towards those in her own branch being Makoto, her boss, the man who saved her, and of course her undeniable love interest, and Kuripa to whom she disciplines, but also acts as a mother/big sister figure to.

#03: Hajime Hinata.

It might just be me, but I feel like Hajime in particular is the fan fav in this blog. I feel he's shown up in more posts than any other character, which is fine by me given he's also one of my personal favorite characters, and is probably my favorite protagonist (it really changes depending on my mood, honestly, I think they're all as great as each other). The remnants of Despair's conflict is an obvious one that you commonly see in post-game fics such as this one, and in Survivor, and my personal opinion, Hajime is undoubtedly the one who has it the hardest. However, out of all of the characters in the series who HAVE trauma (and let's be real, that's undoubtedly a LOT of characters in both DR canon, and this blog) he's also undoubtedly the one who handles it the best. However, there is a limit to how much pressure he can take, and that causes him to lash out (like he did with Mahiru during Misfortune's Revenge, which I know we don't like to talk about but its the most notable example). He's been through a whole load of shit and the pressure is constantly crushing him like a gigantic boulder, yet he still forces himself to carry it. Outside of my own writing, Hajime has so many conflicting thoughts and trauma in other fics, and in Survivor, I don't intend to flat out copy them, but I do desire to live up to them. The reason why Hajime has so many burdens placed upon him, and as of Misfortune's Revenge now has double as many, yet is still able to keep going strong, is because he's no longer allowing himself to be weighed down by events that are in the past and out of his control. What makes his ideal unique, is that he has power, almost limitless amounts of it, but instead of focusing on what he can do with it, he's more conflicted and focused on what he CAN'T do, and changing the past is one thing he can't, and as of such doesn't focus on it. He only ever focuses on the present, and the future, and worries about that. And you've got to hand it to the guy, while it's definitely been better, his life is actually super good right now. He has at least 15 really great friends/found family members, a home on an island resort, an AI companion in his phone who will always help him out and support him, a smoking-hot red-haired girlfriend, a pretty good job and a lot more. For him, it's not simply a matter of abiding by the Foundation and fixing the chaos that he indirectly caused. It's also about the fear of losing what he has, and wanting to protect it.

#02: Ayumu Fujimori.

I've said this one or two times before, but I think Ayumu turned out spectacular, and when I eventually had to kill him off, I felt really bad about doing so. The main reason why I removed him, and why I currently don't have any plans to bring him back, is due to my future plans, having him around would make little to no sense. He serves mainly as a catalyst for the new phase of the story, a much darker one, and with his death, we enter that phase. I know many people are worried about it, but it's not just Ayumu's reason for being in the story that makes him great. While it isn't obvious right away, the main character that I was trying to portray with him, is that he's basically the darker side of Hajime. The two of them share very similar traits in character, personality and backstory. Some notable points would be

Both of them are incredibly self-doubtful, and that self-doubt caused them to become Ultimate Hopes.

Both of them once held huge admiration for a powerful group of people. For Hajime it was Hope's Peak and for Ayumu it was the Japanese Government

Said power called them useless, which led to their transformation

Both have pretty sad backstories, which involve two different types of cruel parents and family's.

They both have a best friend who likes to sleep.

Said best friend ended up dying horribly right in front of them, with them both unable to do anything about it, which eventually leads them both to go insane and make some bad decisions.

Though their methods differ, ultimately, they both want the same thing: a brighter future for their friends and the people they love

Ayumu might be a threat, and an antagonist, but he doesn't really count as a "villain" per se. At the core, he's basically just a misguided young man, who the world treated like shit, so he just wants to get back at it. He's also an influential figure, pulling many people into his fight, and gaining many supporters outside of his friends in the UUV. For the short time he was on the blog, he was an absolute BLAST to write, and you can damn sure bet I'm going to miss him.

#01: Kuripa Kurafto.

This is undoubtedly the riskiest part of this list, especially since we're talking about an OC here, but I also think a lot of you guys saw this coming. I can understand why some of you might disagree with me on this placement, but I'll tell you now, if you're unimpressed, trust me, I am barely scratching the surface of Kuripa's character. As of such, I have to go on this based off of what's already known about him. His whole character I feel comes full circle at the end of the Ultra Despair Gang arc, in which the first monumental event in the blog actually happens: him killing Haiji Towa by stabbing him in the gut and sending him falling to his death. This is then followed by a speech to Makoto, Komaru, Toko and Byakuya, which basically lays out the key part of Kuripa's character, being his ideals. Every protagonist in Danganronpa goes by a certain ideal that contrasts that of their enemies. For Makoto, it's Hope, for Hajime, it's Future, and for Shuichi it's truth. Kuripa is the complete reverse, being a protagonist that represents Despair. He's not outright a villain, or even a generally bad guy, but he definitely has some apparent darkness to him, and is also incredibly violent when at the peak of rage. Of course, it all stems from a huge event in his life, the murder of his little sister Kotoko by the hands of Matta Gyalusetsu, which has led to his over-arcing conflict: his desire to find Matta and kill him as revenge. I tend to hate characters in stories who have the "My Sister is Dead" archetype or trope, but the main reason is because most characters who have that JUST have that, and for Kuripa that's something I'm trying to avoid. One of the most important parts of Kuripa's character is the contrast between his dark, almost psychopathic side that believes murder is a suitable way to indefinitely solve a problem, and his regular self, who to put simply, is a complete and total clown. He's like a walking meme, and makes a total fool out of himself, either through just being a mindless tomfool, a playful perv, or a loveable idiotic otaku. Still, his presence is indeed important to everyone around him, especially seen through his interactions with Makoto, Kibin, Mukuro, Uchui, Kokichi, The Kyojin's and the High Roller staff. This is another thing in regards to Kuripa's conflict that is quite saddening to. Similar to Hajime, as things currently stand, Kuripa has an excellent life. He's a successful animator who makes a lot of money from his work, he enjoys his time at the Future Foundation and really looks up to both Makoto and Mukuro who both treat him with a reciprocated amount of respect, he gets to work in tangent with his best friend, he has many pals, some of which are part of an anime club, and on top of it all, he has a cute girlfriend who playfully flirts back and forth with him all the time. He has everything a guy could possibly ever want, but due to his one track mind, he can never be satisfied knowing Kotoko's killer is still out there, and he will do whatever it takes to avenge her...even if he needs to cut a few people down to get it...

//Doing this kind of self-reflective character analysis is pretty refreshing and fun to be honest, although, doing it makes it sound like I have a big head, and am complementary of my own writing where I know many might disagree with my techniques and opinions. You're free to, believe me, but please keep any criticism constructive.

-Mod

[trans-shuichisaihara]

fake it till (we) make it - Scene 3

it’s been over two years but here we go again

just in case, a warning for brief mentions of internalized homophobia

(read on ao3)

---

Later in the afternoon, his phone rings.

He slows on his treadmill and glances across the room to the offending device, wondering if he should answer. His manager called earlier and chewed him out, so he really isn't in the mood to deal with any more of that. Still, on the off chance that it's something important, he reluctantly hops off and crosses over to at least pick it up and check it.

He's glad he does; the caller ID shows his best friend’s name. Without any further hesitation, he answers the call, pinning his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he grabs a towel to mop up his sweat. “Hey, Shuichi! What’s up?”

There's a brief, shuddering silence from the other side. He waits patiently and is soon rewarded with a meek greeting of “hey, Kaito.” Then, there's an audible swallow. “I hope I'm not bothering you, but... Um, I tried texting, and, um, it didn't look like... Anyway, how, how are you..?”

He hardly pauses to think about Shuichi’s stuttering; that’s normal, after all. “I’m good, sorry I didn’t answer your texts; people’ve been blowing up my phone all day, so I kinda got fed up and just muted ‘em all.” The brief thought about Shuichi’s own reason for calling crosses his mind, but he quickly sets it to the side.

“I, I see.” There’s a long pause. “What, what are they bothering you about? Is... Is it about your Twitter, perhaps..?”

Kaito sighs; guess it was too much to ask for one unrelated conversation. “So you heard too, then.” He crosses the room to his computer desk, spinning around the office chair placed in front of it so he can plop himself down in it.

“Um, well... Kinda hard not to... Kaede said she and her friends were speculating that your account got hacked? And I wouldn’t be surprised if Kokichi can Photoshop, so... So, um, you, you shouldn’t stress too much if that’s the case? I’m sure Sakakura can fix this.”

If only. “Nah, all he’s done is yell at me.” He snorts, shaking his head. “Because, uh, my account wasn’t hacked. That photo’s real, and, uh, well... The caption was accurate..?”

There’s another long pause. “So, you, you and him are..?”

“Dating, yeah.” He remembers the story they agreed to place down. “About two weeks now, if I’m rememberin’ right.” Then, to make it slightly more believable, he edits it to, “Maybe three?”

Shuichi yet again goes silent for a moment. “... That long?” There’s the faintest hint of hurt in his tone, and panic flutters in Kaito’s chest.

“Hey, don’t say it like that. It, uh, it just...” He struggles to articulate his thoughts and trails off.

“Sorry,” Shuichi finally sighs. “I just... Thought you would’ve told me.” He swallows, and Kaito again regrets doing this at all; of course he would’ve told his best friend the second he started dating.

“I, I meant to- I wanted to,” he lies, the words feeling sour as he forms them, “It just, you know, it was something that just happened.” Literally. “Neither of us were sure it was gonna be more than a brief fling, but, well, here we are.” He forces out a laugh that he hopes sounds real enough.

“Oh, I see... Um, I’m happy for you, then?” He sounds unsure, not that Kaito can blame him for that. “Just... Be careful. You know how Kokichi is.”

He definitely knows. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry; I got this.” He certainly doesn’t, but he won’t worry Shuichi with that.

Shuichi doesn’t respond to that, and Kaito changes the topic to something lighter, something that won’t make him feel like his stomach is eating itself. They talk about Shuichi’s band, about the upcoming tour, about both of their workout regiments, about meals they've cooked recently.

By the time Kaito glances at his watch and finds it to be nearing 3pm, he reluctantly ends their call, hoping that the pain he caused Shuichi has been remedied enough. If it was up to Kaito, he would’ve let Shuichi in on what was really going on, but he knows he shouldn’t just tell someone without consulting Kokichi. No matter how much he trusts Shuichi, he knows how easy it is for information like that to spread.

It’s hard enough work keeping a secret between two people, after all.

He sets those thoughts aside as he hops into the shower, washing off the sweat from his workout and mentally preparing for the interview. A week ago, he would've said the questions were going to be about his latest role and those in upcoming films, but he can rightly assume they were scrambling to create a new set of questions at this very moment.

At least he wouldn't be able to complain later about the interview being boring; he's sure he'll have to keep on his toes to avoid screwing anything up.

Once the water is too cold for even him to stand, Kaito hops out and dries off, skipping on styling his hair and going straight to his closet. He scans the line of suits, rolling his choices in his head before settling on his favorite: a rather flashy purple suit that pairs nicely with the bold galaxy patterned tie his grandparents got him. As he begins to tie it around his collar, he stares at his reflection in the mirror.

Will I need to get some new clothes to match Kokichi’s flamboyant style?

As he mulls the question over, he crosses the room to grab his phone to call for Sakakura, pausing when he notices a text from Kokichi - or rather, a series of texts that Kokichi spammed instead of putting everything in one message.

Kokichi: [so boreddddd]

Kokichi: [mom is being]

Kokichi: [SO NITPICKY]

Kokichi: [plz send help]

Kokichi: [ASAP!!!!]

Kaito snorts at the absurdness and opts not to respond. Kokichi knew what he signed up for when he chose to be a lead role in Toujou’s film. He switches to Sakakura and shoots him an “I’m ready” text. As much as he’d rather drive himself and avoid another lecture, Kaito knows that’s not gonna happen.

He idles until he hears the doorbell ring, grabbing a hair tie and pulling his hair back into a quick ponytail as he makes his way to the front door. Juzo Sakakura stands menacingly in the doorway, displeasure creasing every inch of his face.

“In the car,” he orders with a sharp jerk of his head.

Kaito thinks about saying something along the lines of “what, I don’t even get a hi?” but decides against it; Sakakura was already beyond pissed at him and saying anything unnecessary would only make it worse. So, he does as he’s told, trying not to let his own hot-headedness get flared up at the daggers digging into his back. Even when Sakakura makes sure to slam his car door as he settles down in the driver’s seat.

He drives in silence for a few minutes until they hit their first red light. “You understand what you’re doing, right? This is a serious matter that you won’t be able to back out of, even if you decide later on that you’re not going to humor whatever bullshit that Ouma brat’s pulling.”

Kaito crosses his arms. “I’m sure about this. ‘Sides, it was bound to come out eventually that I like men; as much as I don’t want people all up in my personal business, that’s just how life as a celebrity is.”

Sakakura’s fists clench around the steering wheel. “So, you’re really dating him then?”

“Is it hard to believe?” he asks, genuinely curious if it’s as unfathomable as he’s imagining it would be - though he isn’t sure his manager is the best person to ask that question. The people they’re actually trying to fool aren’t so close to them.

“It’s hard to believe anyone would want to date that entitled brat, let alone a guy like you.” Sakakura sighs, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I wish if you had to do this, you would’ve picked someone quieter about shit like this.”

Kaito reads between the lines on that one. “Look, I’ll handle all the media shit about me coming out, so you don’t have to deal with it. You won’t have to make any public statements or acknowledge it, just don’t be an ass about it. Hell, you can quit if it makes you that fuckin’ uncomfortable.”

He clicks his tongue. “It’s not like that. Do whatever the fuck you want, but don’t bring it to work and we’ll be good.”

A disgusting feeling boils in Kaito’s chest, some crude mixture of shame and anger. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling, but certainly not one he’s felt in a number of years. He refuses to give Sakakura a response, glaring out the window as he talks himself down from acting rashly. He knows he’s pushing a problem to the side that’ll need to be solved before it explodes, but he doesn’t have the patience for this fight right now.

Dammit. While he was initially more worried about how the public was going to react to all this, it was now looking like he should’ve been more concerned about those around him, huh. He’s starting to feel more and more like a fool, and he’s not confident that that’s going to change before the day ends.

[entania]

Alternate DRV3 Ending: Mastermind!Shuichi and Naegi’s Son

I’m coming out of retirement for a DRV3 ramble. Replayed the game in quarantine and I have to share this idea: 

I thought the Monokubs were alluding to the idea that the game’s SHSLs were the children/relatives of the 78th class survivors and the 77th class. I mean, if Monokuma can now have kids, wouldn’t it make sense that the OGs would too?

The ending to V3 also sucked. I get the point of it, but oh it sucked. It needed a twist that no one would’ve seen coming that didn’t make us feel bad for being fans of the game. With this all said, IMO here’s how it should have ended: 

Everything Chapters 1-5 goes as normal. In Chapter 6, Tsumugi reveals herself as the mastermind. However, soon after she takes credit for running the whole killing game she is killed by the real mastermind Shuichi Saihara. Yes, our protagonist Shuichi Saihara. 

How could he be the mastermind you ask? Well, we the fans have only seen the side of him that he’s wanted us to see. The whole game he has played the part of the good detective that is out for the truth to protect everyone. In truth, he has helped the remaining survivors to get to this moment, to reveal that the person they’ve trusted the most with their lives, the person who has helped them trial after trial, has actually orchestrated everything with the goal of making them feel the most despair possible when they find out their devoted friend is the one behind it all. He’s the one who killed Rantaro and pinned the blame on Kaede, his so called close friend. He’s manipulated everyone into thinking he was trustworthy, especially Kaede, Kaito and Kokichi who all died having notable degrees of trust in him to do the right thing. 

Why would Shuichi become the mastermind? Simply, he isn’t who we believed he was. The biggest reveal of all is that he’s actually Shuichi Naegi, Naegi and Kirigiri’s son. 

Him being their son alone should make him a remnant of hope. After all, Naegi is the SHSL Hope cinnamon roll and Kirigiri is a driving force behind hope through all that she did as the SHSL Detective in THH and in her work for the Future Foundation. Shuichi, however, unfortunately grew up with an inferiority complex due to his famous parents. He desperately tried to be like them and succeed as a successful detective like his mother, however it pained him that he could never be as good as her no matter how hard he tried due to his tendency to doubt himself. His lack of perfection in his detective skills due to his self doubt costs him the chance to be scouted by Hope’s Peak, a severe blow to his pride. He begged his father to use his role as headmaster to admit him, and while it pained Naegi to do so, he told his son that he could not show any nepotism and overturn Hope’s Peak’s system for him. Naegi tried to tell him that there is no shame in going to a normal school and focusing on his detective skills among others there and Kirigiri agreed with his reasoning. Shuichi felt betrayed by both his parents and developed a hatred of being their son that doesn’t measure up, and that hatred leads him to despair. He meets Tsumugi (likely during one of his visits to Hope’s Peak to see his father) and they develop a toxic friendship. Tsumugi poked at Shuichi’s feelings and learned of his backstory and exploited it by helping him learn more about his parents’ backstories and Junko and Izuru’s actions in a Despair induced light. Shuichi became inspired by the Despair movement and he especially related to Hinata’s desire to have a talent and wanting to measure up to the Hope’s Peak students by any means necessary. He shared his feelings with Tsumugi who convinces him to help her develop the killing game against the best and brightest students Hope’s Peak had to offer. Shuichi fed into Tsumugi’s plotting and reasoning and became unhinged as he realized that the killing game will be the way to get revenge against life that dealt him the hand of being Naegi and Kirigiri’s son, and make his parents and the world feel the same feeling of hopelessness he’s felt all his life. 

Ultimately Shuichi had an ace up his sleeve and plotted Tsumugi’s murder at the end of the game without her realizing it so that he could emerge as the SHSL Mastermind. He reveals to his surviving classmates that he has broadcasted the killing game to the whole world from the spaceship that they are on. His parents are able to send transmissions to the ship and they beg Shuichi to stop and remember who he is. Whether Shuichi listens to them and is able to be redeemed through hope, or elects to execute himself and make his parents feel the worst despair they’ve ever felt is up to the choices of the fans. 

[natsumiheart]

I just wanna say how tired I am with some oumota shippers and their argument that oumasai is a bad ship cause apparently Shuichi never cared about kokichi and is annoyed with him and that oumota is better cause kokichi "opened up" to kaito like what they both were dying and kokichi had to convince kaito to work with him so he had to tell the truth that he wasn't the mastermind or else they'll die a meaningless death.I just really wanted to say this cause its driving me insane

Anonymous said:

Btw i was the anon that sent that ask ranting about oumota shippers saying oumota is better than oumasai and I just wanna clarify that I don't hate oumota shippers cause I know its their opinion and everyone can ship what they want but i feel like I really needed to tell someone about it cause it has been messing with my head and I don't have any irl friends that like DR and this blog felt the safest to vent to

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry you’re dealing with those people! I have a friend who is actually suffering from the same exact thing. Constant harassment from Ou**ta shippers saying Oumasai is toxic. I’m happy you feel like this is the safest blog to vent to ;; And just to make you feel better, here are a bunch of reasons why YOU’RE 100% RIGHT! and you shouldn’t be attacked or ashamed of how you feel towards that ship and all that hate towards yours. If anyone says Shuichi hated Kokichi and never cared for him just read this post! https://natsumiheart.tumblr.com/post/177427505177/hewwo-what-are-your-opinions-on-the-people-who

Warning: If you like Kaito x Kokichi I recommend you don’t read what’s under the cut, I don’t want to diss anyone’s ship in front of their face. That’s just insensitive, and the last thing I want is to ruin someone’s day. Unless you really want to know why others don’t feel the same as you, then don’t check out this post. Thank you!

Note that while I mention the bunch of reasons why this ship just straight up wouldn’t work out, I’m going to ignore the fact that Kaito acts very homophobic and transphobic in the japanese version of the game. I’ve mentioned it in this blog a bunch of times before, and it’s pretty obvious that everyone ignores his Homophobia so I’m just going to pretend as if he’s not homophobic and break down why exactly this ship wouldn’t work out even without him being homophobic in the first place. But I’m definitely not going to exclude how he acts towards guys in general.

> Kaito treats most guys he meets like trash, unless he respects them. Whenever Kaito finds a guy acting “Weak” he literally looks down on them, even gets frustrated with them. Huge proof is how he treated Shuichi for crying over Kaede, and then later punching Kokichi because he was acting “Weird”. Kaito was a huge fan of Ryoma, but when he saw what he has become, someone who has given up on his future, he started treating him badly, and after Ryoma was dead he even talked badly on him calling him “Weak.” and a “Sissy.” Not being able to understand the pain Ryoma was going through or how things were for him. He also got creeped out by Korekiyo for acting like a girl before he even revealed that he was “posessed” by his sister. Aren’t all those moments in the game enough proof that Kaito just straight up doesn’t like guys at all in that way? Then how could he *love* a guy, and Kokichi of all people. Heck, Gonta x Kaito make more sense than Kaito x Kokichi, even though he yelled at Gonta once for crying and being too weak for a man.

It’s shown multiple times in the game that Kaito treats guys like trash, and he treats Kokichi the worst of all.

Note: I do think Kaito can change the way he acts towards guys, but I don’t he will ever love one romantically.

> I think we can all agree that Kokichi is really hard to deal with sometimes. He distances himself so much from everyone as much as he could, and he won’t back down that easily even if it meant hurting others’ feelings. He keeps lying constantly so no one can figure him out or get close to him. We don’t exactly know the reason why, but he has major trust issues and it shows.That is the reason why for us, seeing Shuichi listed under “Trustworthy” was a big deal. (But I’m not going to dive deep into that since I already did multiple times in this blog.) My point here is that Kokichi needs someone with patience, someone who could understand him a bit and why he does what he does. Someone to decipher his actions and break down his walls, but isn’t afraid to sometimes step his foot down and tell him that his actions are wrong and he’s harming others as well as himself. Kaito on the other hand grows frustrated with guys so quickly, he doesn’t listen to their reasoning before heading in for physical violence. THAT is exactly the opposite of what Kokichi needs! And I still don’t understand how others can’t see it! When Kaito punched Kokichi in chapter 4, he was already in so much despair over seeing the secret of the outside world and that punch made it worse. To the point he stayed silent then locked himself in his room. How in the world do people actually see this ship as better than oumasai? I don’t get it.

Kokichi shouldn’t be with someone that will treat him like trash, and physically (if not also emotionally) harm him for how he’s acting.

> Opposites sometimes attract, but POLAR opposites do not. and I’m talking from personal experience here, two people who are different in so many ways (ESPECIALLY THEIR WAY OF THINKING) will end up fighting 24/7. It was shown again and again in the game that Kokichi and Kaito do not get along thanks to how different their approach is to things and their seemingly different upbringings. Ships between two characters who fight a lot just make me so uncomfortable and disturbed, because I know how these relationships actually end up in real life. Fights do happen in relationships sometimes, it’s even needed to strengthen the relationship, to realise that no matter what happens you STILL love your partner, but when you fight every single time you talk? That’s a bad sign! 

Fighting is NOT romantic and it never will be! And when it has physical violence mixed in? My god. Please do yourself a favor and break up with your partner if they keep hitting you.

> Kaito doesn’t ever side with Kokichi:

He literally said in chapter 4 “I don’t wanna survive it means I have to stoop to your level!” and Kokichi said “Then die in a hole for all I care! WE wanna LIVE, so stop getting in our way!”. Kaito will never be on Kokichi’s side, Even if it meant his death and the deaths of all his friends.

When Kaito realised that maybe watching all the motive videos together would’ve prevented a murder from happening Shuichi is the one that points out that it was what Kokichi was trying to do. But then Kaito is like “Huh, really?” Then brushes it off. Because of course, of course Kokichi wants murders to continue. Right?

Even after Kokichi spilled everything to him because he was literally about to die and really wanted Kaito to go along with his plan and believe him. Kaito still stated that he still thought he only thought of himself. Even after Kokichi sacrificed himself to save HIM from the poison and MAKI from being his murderer. He still hated him and didn’t believe him. The only reason Kaito went along with his plan was because he was about to die anyway, he was running out of time and he needed to get out even if it meant following Kokichi’s plan and killing him in the process.

When two people actually love each other they have each others backs. But with these two, they never will.

> I don’t believe Kokichi hated Kaito. But he literally thinks he is stupid and is a bad influence on everyone. These two have a relationship of two siblings that can’t stand each other. I always see myself and my brother in them, which is another reason why their ship makes me beyond uncomfortable. My brother puts his trust in people way too easily, and believes whatever tf his brain comes up with because y’know it’s him and “he’s always right”. He would never take a second to think that maybe he’s wrong, just like Kaito and his hunch. I on the other hand find him incredibly stupid, we argue a lot because our way of thinking and our beliefs are very different, we even used to hit each other a lot. We never really got along. And the way Kokichi and Kaito act around each other really reminded me of it, but you don’t know me and you don’t know my brother so why should you take my word for it? An example I like to use when trying to explain this point to others is the relationship between Stanley and Stanford in Gravity Falls, those two fought a lot in the show but in the last episode they had to work together on a plan despite their differences. Doesn’t it remind you of a certain story that happened in the game? Kokichi and Kaito’s relationship resembles theirs so much it’s insane. 

I feel like the game tried to show us how these two are more like siblings but on bad terms, even giving them similar hair and eye colors. But that flew straight over every rivalry shipper’s head.

These are some of the reasons why Ou**ta wouldn’t work out and can’t even be a thing in the first place, I said it before and I’ll say it again: I could write a book about this topic. But I’m kinda busy today and I have to leave the house soon- I hope you’re convinced that you are actually right. (I’ve been told countless times that I’m wrong leading me to question myself, so I wanted to help out by reassuring you that your feelings are valid and you’re not wrong in this situation at all) Saying Oumasai is toxic for one line Shuichi said while he was angry and defending his friend, while shipping Ou**ta and ignoring all this stuff is like the most hypocritical thing anyone can say. 

And yeah, people should ship whatever they want. Lots of people ignore characters’ feelings and ship the crackiest of ships, making very OOC art and fanfiction. And they can do that! But they can’t go around dissing people for their ship while supporting an obviously flawed one. Honestly you shouldn’t attack people for their ships in the first place, no matter what YOU ship. Just stay in your own bubble and stay away from the ships you dislike. It’s not that hard!

If you’re an Ou**ta fan reading this, I just want to say thank you for reading this far, and I’m really not saying you should stop supporting your ship. I’m just explaining why we feel this way towards it and the evidence we have behind it. If you’re one of the people who go around attacking shippers while boasting your ship. Please stop? Seriously, stop giving a shit about other people’s opinions and life will suddenly become much easier.

I’d like to clarify: If anyone responds to this post telling me I’m wrong, I’m not responding. My blog is for me to post art, sometimes funny stuff to make people’s days, interact with my followers and draw their requests, or ranting about topics I’m passionate about (Mostly DR). I do not want it to be a place for ship discourse, so if I get disagreeing replies or asks I’m going to ignore them like I always do whenever I post these rant type blogs. I hope you understand.

[cakers-2000]

~By Your Side~ (Shuichi X Reader)

I’d like to thank the Konoha Simps discord for helping me come up with this scenario and many other Shuichi scenarios I’m excited to share with you all 👌🥰

Anyways this doesn’t take place during the game or anything, in this he’s already known as the Ultimate Detective all over!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your stomach churned as you saw the gruesome sight in front of you. Your hand instinctively placed itself in front of your mouth as you felt the sting of tears well up in your eyes.

How could anyone do this?

A gentle hand placed itself onto your shoulder. It was warm and inviting. There was a rush of comfort and your free hand instinctively reached to grasp the other tightly. You could hear him let out a small, rather awkward laugh. You slightly turned your head to the side and could see Shuichi’s familiar blue locks.

He slightly lowered his head to your level and smiled warmly at you. “I know it’s a lot to take in, if you need to step outside just let me know okay?”

Your eyes locked with his and you stood in silence for a good few seconds, completely lost in the gorgeous silver color and the warm aura his eyes shone towards you. You weren’t aware of how long you had been staring at him until he let out another awkward laugh and slightly tilted his head.

“Are you alright (Y/N)?”

You shook your head and let his hand go, trying your hardest to get a grip on your emotions and to focus purely on the investigation at hand.

You had been chosen to be Shuichi’s sidekick. Granted that had been a few months ago at this point it didn’t matter. He put his faith in you, he believed in you and now that you were facing your first real case you had to prove to him that you could be of assistance. That you deserved to solve cases by his side.

“I’m fine Shuichi.” You let out a rather shaky sigh and clenched your fist, muttering to yourself as you watched him walk towards the corpse. “You can do this (Y/N).”

Though you tried your hardest to assure yourself the second you stepped beside the body the urge to vomit overwhelmed you but you pushed it further down. You had to prove to him that you could do this.

He knelt down beside the body and pushed the hair that had fallen into the victims face so that he could clearly see the wound. You shuddered at the bloody sight and grabbed at the bag hanging by your side, scurrying to find your notebook and pen.

You could see him peering at you through the corner of his eye and you laughed nervously as you clutched the now open notebook in your arms. “Ready when you are.”

He nodded in affirmation and stood himself back up. “It looks like the victim suffered blood force trauma on the forehead…” He started off to examine the room and you hurried after, recording everything he told you or muttered to himself under his breath.

“I don’t see a murder weapon anywhere… It seems as if the victim struggled with the culprit before death indicated by the broken glass of the lamp on the floor…”

You were always amazed to see Shuichi in action. He was so focused, his silver eyes giving off a steely gaze as he examined every nook and cranny. This was the talent of the Ultimate Detective.

You nearly ran into him as he came to a halt in front of you. You ground your feet into the floor and stared at him quizzically.

He had taken you down one of the hallways of the home and was staring into a practically empty room. There was nothing inside but a single bed and wardrobe. This made sense, the victim had been on the poor side, barely making enough to scrape by. The moldy and disheveled apartment you currently stood in was a testament to this. He took a cautious step into the room that was only illuminated by the hallway light and flicked on the light inside.

There was a single jack-in-the-box resting on the bed, popped open and the bottom bloody and broken.

“W-What is this?”

He quickly approached it and examined the bloody object with gentle care. “It looks like the murder weapon.”

“A Jack-in-the-box… What kind of person would do this?”

He stared in silence for a long while until you eventually grabbed his arm, attempting to bring him back to reality. “Shu are you okay?”

There was a slight blush on his cheeks and you could hear the officers behind you snicker. “(Y/N) I told you to call me Shuichi while at work…”

“Right, sorry.”

His attention snapped to that of the snickering officers and they silenced themselves, awaiting his request.

“I think I’ve seen enough. Gather what information you can and bring it to the station.”

“Yes sir.”

They walked past the both of you and Shuichi started off out the room, smiling back at you as he did so. “It’s late, we should get home. We’ll go over our information there alright?”

You strutted your way over to him, a pep in your step as you linked your arm around his own. “We gonna order take out?”

He slightly laughed at you but the warm smile on his face only grew at the rather pleading look in your eyes.

“Sure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ah Chinese is just the best, you know?”

You flopped your back onto the couch after taking the last few bites of your meal, a satisfied hum escaping your lips as you snuggled yourself further into the warm couch cushions. You glanced at the clock just above your head to find the time, 11 PM.

You had been working on stringing together your current clues for a good few hours and your eyelids were becoming heavy. Just the act of keeping them up seemed to exhaust you. Your eyes fell to Shuichi who sat on the floor, the food beside him barely touched.

He had spread out a small diagram on the floor, attempting to piece together the small amount of clues you had found during your investigation.

You slowly stood up off of the couch and moved behind him, staring at his hunched over form. You knew Shuichi well. With him so lost in his work like this you would have to drag him back to the bedroom.

You knelt down to his level and draped your arms around his shoulders. You squished your face against his, a bright smile on your features. “Come to bed Shu.”

He didn’t even crack a smile. You slightly pouted and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, enjoying the warmth his body emitted. “You need your rest for tomorrow Honey.”

You could feel him fidget under your grip before speaking. “I just want to finish a few more things and-”

“Shu you aren’t going to be able to help anyone if you’re tired.” You loosened your grip on him and gently grabbed hold of his chin. Ever so gently you pulled his head to the side so his eyes could meet yours. A warm smile fell to your lips in an attempt to persuade him. “Please. You know it’s for the best.”

He knew he couldn’t argue against your words. You were right. With reluctance he allowed you to grasp his sleeve and coax him upwards. Your hand intertwined with his own, your palm was warm and inviting. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips purely from your hand holding his own. A smile that formed purely by being in your presence.

You fell asleep rather fast. Your arms were wrapped around him rather tightly and he did the same. He placed a gentle kiss to your lips, making sure to keep you asleep before playing with the tips of your hair in his fingers.

As he laid in the darkness of the bedroom, no sound but that of your light snores filling the room he couldn’t help but thank the universe for sending you to him. If it wasn’t for you he would’ve been lost a long time ago.

[quixotic-dragon]

Kokichi Oma’s Crocodile Tears   (MAJOR DRV3 SPOILERS)

Ah, good ol’ Kokichi Oma. The Ultimate Little Shit- and a controversial little shit at that! I’ve recently played v3, and Kokichi is the one character who always seems to be on my mind (aside from my fav, Keebo, of course) because he’s such a mystery. We never get to know what’s going on in his head, at least not openly, and many players are led to assume that he is a malicious troublemaker, or even an outright sadist. 

I’m going to take a moment to analyze Kokichi specifically during that infamous scene at the end of Chapter 4 because that is all that’s been on my mind as of late. 

Underneath the Keep reading, there WILL be major spoilers for the entirety of v3. There will also be a very long essay, but I will do my best to break it up so it is easier to read. Read at your own risk.

So without further ado, here is my analysis of and my thoughts on Kokichi, his actions, and his character circa Chapter 4:

INITIAL REACTION:

Before I go into how I feel about Kokichi now, I’m going to have a discussion about my thoughts on him while this scene was playing out. (I know my exact feelings because I was liveposting in a discord server as I played, haha)

At this point in the game, the player does not yet know that Kokichi is not the true mastermind, nor do they understand what Kokichi means by “winning” the game. 

I had personally been spoiled of who the v3 mastermind was (thanks a lot danganronpa wiki), so I recognized that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind, however I did not recognize that he was trying to win the killing game via unconventional methods. So from my point of view, Kokichi had just intentionally murdered Gonta (and Miu) just to increase his chances of winning and had the nerve to shed fake tears over it. I was furious! (behold, my fury!)

Kokichi sobs over Gonta’s death, and I interpreted this as entirely fake tears. One of my friends suggested, “i feel like there was a difference between like his / crocodile tears and this.” 

I was enraged at this suggestion and stood beside my initial reaction because I felt that there were no signs that Kokichi never cared for Gonta as anything more than an asset, so I could not trust Kokichi to have any real remorse for his death with such a manipulative relationship having existed. (Massive disclaimer that this is my interpretation of their relationship; if you have a different interpretation, that is totally fine and valid!)

At this point, I considered why Kokichi might be crying so intensely even if it was an act, and came to the conclusion that if there was any sort of truth in those tears that Kokichi would be upset for a different reason than Gonta. He would be upset because he was truly alone. Not a single living person wanted to spare him the time of day besides Gonta. And now that Gonta is dead, nobody wants Kokichi. Even though I was fully convinced he was a sadistic, evil bastard at this point, I still figured that he must’ve felt some sort of sudden and crippling loneliness realizing that the only person who cared about him in the slightest was dead.

This interpretation of Kokichi I had really didn’t change much until after I had finished the entire game and stopped to think about Kokichi a bit more; his heartfelt final words to Kaito felt like lies to convince him to play along (blackmailing Maki certainly didn’t help with that much either), and his whole trick felt less like him trying to help and more like him just trying to cause chaos for the hell of it in my mind.

So, in conclusion, my initial reaction to the Kokichi scene? I thought Kokichi was a heartless bastard whose only remorse could be crippling loneliness. Although my initial analysis while I was still playing was quite interesting, I have some different opinions on it now that I’ve taken a step back and viewed the game as a whole.

KOKICHI ONLY WANTS YOU TO THINK HE’S EVIL:

Surprise! Kokichi isn’t a sadistic fuck! Crazy right? 

Well, not really if you’ve watched/read any Kokichi analysis ever. However, Kokichi’s act seems to be a common thing that many casual players of v3 fall for. I certainly fell for it when I played, as you saw above!

It isn’t until far later in the game that it is revealed that Kokichi is the “supreme leader” of a pacifist prankster club (DICE), and it isn’t revealed until the end of Chapter 5 that Kokichi actually had good intentions in setting up his mastermind persona (although, as seen above, those good intentions are still very easily interpreted in a bad light).

So why does he bother to so obviously cry wolf at Gonta’s death just to double back on his persona ten-fold as soon as he’s called out on it? Because he’s just trying to sell his mastermind persona, not only to the other characters and the mastermind, but to the player themself. This is intended by both Kokichi and the writers themselves, made obvious by the fact that we get no real evidence of Kokichi being a benevolent person until long after this scene. (There are many moments in earlier chapters where Kokichi is trying to be helpful to the group or to a specific character, however every time he attempts this, it is painted in a negative light because he is either going against the protagonist’s will or achieving things in a more underhanded manner via lies or provocation). 

When I saw Kokichi crying for Gonta, my first thoughts were, “I am going to THROTTLE this fucking BASTARD.” Because even if those tears were real, Kokichi was still the one fully responsible for Gonta’s death, so I felt that he had no right to shed tears over it. If it weren’t for Kokichi’s crying during this scene, I would have been very suspicious of how suddenly his evil villain act amped up. If he hadn’t shed tears that were so obviously fake, I would not have been nearly as enraged with him, and therefore not nearly as willing to just accept the fact: “Well. Guess he’s evil now.”

Whereas I would’ve chalked the scene without crying to bad writing, the viewers of the killing game, and by extent the mastermind, would garner suspicion towards his actions. Although Kokichi was not aware that Keebo had direct contact with the outside world, he was very aware that the killing game had to have been broadcasted to somewhere. He had to ensure that he was as convincing as possible; that meant no “bad writing” mistakes could be left anywhere.

I stand by what I said before in that Kokichi’s crying in this scene is just a bunch of crocodile tears. However, with new context and information surrounding the situation, they probably weren’t devoid of emotion. Kokichi only allowed himself to cry here in order to properly double back on his new mastermind persona, however, unlike what I believed before, he most likely did feel remorse at the deaths of Gonta and Miu. He just broke his last standing moral code: don’t murder people. And he broke it by indirectly causing the deaths of two people he may have considered to be his friends. That’s heavy stuff! 

Kokichi is faking these reactions to the trial because he has to if he wants to deceive everybody. But... the best acting comes from the heart.

LONELINESS AND GUILT:

As I covered in my initial reaction to Kokichi’s breakdown, I felt as though he couldn’t possibly have any remorse for his actions, so he must have been devastated knowing that he would now be truly alone. This view was heavily influenced by Shuichi’s words after the trial... because they were true. 

After Kokichi criticizes the group for coming to Kaito’s aid, Shuichi turns around and tells Kokichi that he is the pathetic one because he will always be alone. There are no lies to these words. Now that Gonta is dead, and now that Kokichi has gone so far into his persona, not a single person wants to even be near him.

Now that I’ve established that Kokichi’s actions post-trial were most definitely an act and not representative of his true feelings, we can discuss what his true feelings may have been. I come back to the idea of Kokichi fearing being alone because, hey! My past ignorant self was actually onto something!

The acknowledgement that Kokichi feels remorse for his actions just makes this situation even sadder for him; not only did he just indirectly murder two people and has to put up with the guilt of that, but now, nobody cares about him either. Not that anybody in the cast cared for him all that much in the first place (aside from Gonta), but Shuichi’s words to him here seal his fate as the permanent outcast and assigned villain of the group. He had already been struggling with loneliness throughout the beginning chapters of the game, and now Shuichi - the only person he finds truly trustworthy (according to his little whiteboard, at least) - is confirming to him that nobody wants him. Ouch.

I am personally led to believe that a large part of the reason that Kokichi ends up sacrificing himself in Chapter 5 has a lot to do with the broken feelings he would’ve had under the combined guilt of his actions and the crushing reality of loneliness.

Would Kokichi have offered to sacrifice himself anyways given the circumstances? Probably, yeah. However, the way he was so accepting of his death reminded me a lot of Kaede in Chapter 1; she couldn’t allow herself to take the First Blood Perk because she felt that she had to atone for her sins, or she could never live with herself. Kokichi seems, in the moment, to be more than willing to die, perhaps for the same reasons. Not only would be feel like he has to make up for the deaths he caused, but he would also feel like he had nothing left to live for, at least not within the academy anyway.

Or maybe he was just tired from the poison, not from life. But who’s to say? We can’t see inside of his head.

FINAL THOUGHTS / CONCLUSION:

OK, so some final thoughts before wrapping this up: Holy shit, Kokichi is an asshole.

Even knowing the emotional turmoil Kokichi must have been going through, it was still infuriating to see him treat Gonta so poorly in Trial 4. Perhaps it was just a part of his act as well? Regardless, it really just did not sit with me well. Under no circumstance should Kokichi be continulessly yelling at Gonta while he’s crying from the insults, for real. But hey, at least if it was just another act from Kokichi, then he can rest easy knowing he certainly had me fooled.

...

So, in my opinion, Kokichi’s infamous breakdown was entirely fabricated. He had to fake both his tears and his sadism in order to fully convince the world that he was a force of pure malice in order to get away with what he had planned. However, despite his apparent change in personality, he never really was sadistic, and may have even cared for the people around him till the very end.

That’s all I guess  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[momota-kaiharem]

today’s take is chapter one akamota. that’s all that’s the whole take. do you know how often and how hard i think about those motherfuckers. oh my god please i want them to kiss so bad. it’s an interesting dynamic for me because i kin them both but i also just, UGHH.

they’re like this well of positivity. it’s that dynamic that i also really enjoy from amamota where they have the whole mutual vulnerability thing going on, because both kaede and kaito want to help people, prop them up, lead them, take care of them, that sort of deal. kaito supports kaede endlessly during chapter one, sticking up for her down in the tunnel, standing by her when everyone else is leaving, having her back during the trial and other times... he’s such a simp for her and i love that for them. i also think it’s really cute the way that kaito keeps offering her hugs FKLJDLSJF kaede come on you know you want to hug him. look at that face tell me you wouldn’t hug that man.

man!!! i just. i’m SO heartbroken that kaede died in chapter one because as much as i adore shuichi as the protagonist and believe he’s the only reason dr was able to end, i also would’ve loved to see the akamota dynamic going forward... like god can you imagine a universe where kaede’s murder plan failed and she was crippled by the guilt from it and kaito takes her on as his sidekick... UGH. i usually maintain that if both kaede and rantaro lived past chapter one then rantaro would be her support, but support kaito for kaede also makes me so tender...

i like kaede too because she has that perfect amount of like, i want to say realism, when it comes to the people she cares about? like she’s not Mean exactly but she does see their flaws and she’s honestly a little bit blunt, so i feel like she wouldn’t end up idolising kaito the way so many of his prospective romantic interests would. i think kaede would come to appreciate kaito more and more as he helps her but she would also see him as like, a person, rather than some glow-y star hero like maki and shuichi sort of saw him as?

and god that would make kaito so uncomfortable at first but that’s kind of my favourite thing for kaito ships, that push and pull as kaito becomes more and more vulnerable around them, because it feels so Good but he’s so Uncomfortable and Guilty about it... hgnghghghgn lies down

i’m just saying if kaede lived past chapter one kaito would’ve had her BACK. they’re the epitome of happy friends to lovers and god i just, i care them so damn much. akamota my beloved.

[oumakokichi]

Do you think that Kokichi had any remorse for Gonta during trial 4 or did he actually not care? I've seen a lot of people saying different opinions from both sides of the argument. But I'm really confused because there was a moment where after Gonta was executed, correct me if I'm wrong but Shuichi asked Kokichi if he could reveal the secret of the outside world (?) But Kokichi replied with something like “I don't want to....” and seemed generally upset? But then a few moments later he snapped out if it and began acting like he had no sympathy whatsoever. I just really wanna know how Kokichi actually, truly felt about Gonta and if he regretted manipulating him. Sorry if you've already been asked this and have already given an answer, thank you!

Hi anon—I actually wrote a pretty big master-post on chapter 4 not too long ago which I think more or less sums up my thoughts on Ouma’s behavior in the post-trial! You can find it here if you want (it’s pretty long and I tried to answer a whole bunch of questions about Ouma in chapter 4 specifically, since it’s the chapter I get asked about the most).

More specifically though, I’m afraid that there is no easy, definitive answer to that question. I can only share my personal opinions about how I believe Ouma felt in that scene. And personally? I do think he was genuinely upset and distraught about Gonta’s death, that he even momentarily considered giving up all his plans and being executed alongside him, and that he cared about Gonta and deeply regretted using him as a sacrificial pawn in his plans.

I’ll discuss what I mean in more detail, but it’ll probably get pretty long, so I’ll put the rest of this post under a cut as always!

The thing is, though, I’ve shared my personal thoughts about the chapter 4 post trial many times, including my reasoning and all of the textual evidence that shows how much Ouma cared about the rest of his classmates. But ultimately, there will probably always be some people who disagree, because their reading of the text will always be a little bit different. Unless we ever have an interview from Kodaka in the future where he directly says, “this is what Ouma was thinking and feeling at this exact moment,” there really won’t ever be a way to know what was going through his head with 100% certainty (and I do feel like leaving it open-ended is something of Kodaka’s intention, anyway, especially since Ouma is supposed to be a very polarizing character).

That being said, I do think it’s worth analyzing the text and drawing your own conclusions, because ndrv3 is a game that changes a lot depending on how you interpret it, and Ouma’s character is included in that. It’s really easy on a first playthrough to get wrapped up in what Ouma says or does without really looking at why he says it, or at his underlying motivations. Going back through the game on a replay though, I do personally think it’s possible to guess at what he might have been feeling during those super conflicting scenes in chapter 4.

In my opinion, I think Ouma did truly care about Gonta as a friend, and that his guilt and remorse over what he did was genuine. Not only did Ouma and DICE have a very strict taboo against killing (mentioned directly in his motive video in Japanese, though the part about it being an actual rule was stripped from the localization), but we don’t see Ouma’s façade crack like this very often. Most of the time when he does his trademark “crocodile tears,” it’s with his very loud, exaggerated crying sprite, and he bounces right back to acting normally within a moment or two.

There are a few exceptions to this, of course—he uses the “crocodile tears” sprite to cry at Kaede, Amami, and Toujou’s deaths, but it’s still very likely he was shaken up by seeing them dead). Nonetheless, we don’t see his much more subdued crying sprites more than a handful of times, particularly in the chapter 4 post-trial just before Gonta’s execution, as well as in Momota’s flashback in chapter 5 when he talks about how Ouma actually hated the killing game the whole time.

I’m aware that some people simply brush these moments aside and assume that Ouma is lying though all of them, but I personally just can’t agree with that interpretation. Assuming that Ouma is lying whenever he shows remorse or guilt or hatred for the killing game means assuming that he’s telling the truth in pretty much every other scene—which doesn’t make much sense, given that his entire character is centered around the concept of lying, as well as moral ambiguity and subverting expectations. Assuming that Ouma actually means what he’s saying 100% of the time unless it just happens to involve showing any kind of guilt or remorse turns him into a very boring, predictable, uninspired character (none of which are words I would use to describe him personally).

Ignoring those moments where Ouma shows genuine attachment to his classmates and distaste for the killing game also means ignoring several key pieces of evidence and clues about him that we are directly provided in the game, including his motive video and Momota’s flashback in chapter 5. Personally, I don’t feel like there’s any reason to include these scenes at all unless it’s to help shed light on Ouma’s motivations and provide players with a clear reason to try and go back through the game again to look at Ouma’s actions through a new perspective.

I also feel that Ouma genuinely cared about Gonta because to put it simply, there was no incentive for him to lie in that scene. He got absolutely nothing out of it—and considering he turns around and starts playing the villain on purpose all of 5 minutes after Gonta’s death, he definitely wasn’t trying to earn sympathy points or trick the rest of his classmates into trusting him. In fact, he could’ve easily tried to make himself look more sympathetic by putting all of the blame on Miu for trying to kill him, or even on Gonta. But instead he fully admits to coming up with the plan to kill Miu and spends the entire post-trial trying to convince everyone not to hate or blame Gonta.

If he was truly as sadistic and horrible as he pretended to be, I think he would’ve pulled a 180 and started throwing names and insults around while Gonta was still alive to hear it, not after he was already dead. If he didn’t care at all about Gonta’s feelings, he had no reason to try and take all the blame on himself while insisting that none of what happened was actually Gonta’s fault. If anything, revealing himself to be this horrible, evil villain who enjoys seeing other people suffer or die would’ve really been adding insult to injury, and probably would’ve crushed Gonta completely, even before his execution started.

But… Ouma doesn’t do any of this. Despite having every opportunity to either portray himself as more of a victim and fling all the blame on Miu and Gonta, or else to completely embrace being a villain who loved seeing people suffer, he doesn’t do either of these things. The way I personally see it, Ouma waits until Gonta is already dead, and when the rest of his classmates begin pushing him for answers about the outside world and demanding to know what Gonta saw, that’s when he finally snaps and resigns himself to acting like a villain in order to make everyone hated.

You could argue that trying to make everyone hate him had a twofold effect: it helped set the stage for him to pretend to be the ringleader in the next chapter, which he clearly wanted, but it also was a way of taking things out on himself and shows just a small glimpse of how much he hated having to dirty his hands in chapter 4. After all, Ouma even says it himself: that the “role of a villain is perfect for him,” because he’s already made everyone hate him. We see Ouma occasionally tease or antagonize the rest of his classmates plenty of times throughout the game, but it’s true that he doesn’t really step into that “villain” role until the end of chapter 4, once he’s crossed a line that he can never come back from by manipulating both Miu and Gonta to their deaths.

None of this is to say that what Ouma did to Gonta is okay, by any means. I think he definitely did care about Gonta and even thought of him as one of the few trustworthy people in the killing game, even someone close to a friend, but that doesn’t mean that manipulating him and using him like a chess piece was okay in the end. I just also think it’s important to realize that there were plenty of extenuating circumstances that led Ouma to act the way he did—including the fact tha he knew Miu was going to kill him, that he already suspected she had measures to prevent him from fighting back or killing her himself in the VR world, and the fact that he did not want to die or get everyone else killed in the trial.

It’s possible for people to care about others without necessarily treating them the best or doing the right thing. A huge part of Danganronpa, something that’s been evident from the very first game, is that sometimes characters can and do hurt each other, even when they care about each other or wouldn’t be a threat otherwise.

It’s the existence of the killing game itself that causes so many characters to go to extremes that they normally wouldn’t, whether it’s Maizono trying to frame Naegi in dr1 despite caring about him a lot, Kaede deciding to try and commit murder under everyone’s noses despite trying to unite the group and wanting everyone to trust her, or Ouma using Gonta as a pawn to kill Miu in his place because he didn’t want to die.

At the end of the day, people are still probably going to have very polarizing opinions about Ouma and the things he did in chapter 4, and that’s honestly okay. In my own opinion, Ouma definitely isn’t a completely flawless, innocent baby who “did nothing wrong”—he absolutely is manipulative, cold, and calculating when he wants to be, and it’s a fact that he got two people killed, even if he didn’t want things to reach that point. But I also personally don’t think it’s fair to write him off as the exact kind of “evil villain” he pretends to be; not only is it a shortsighted interpretation of his larger motivations, but it also completely ignores any replay value and completely shoots down the appeal of trying to interpret Ouma’s thoughts and actions because “he was lying about feeling bad anyway, what’s the point in analyzing him.”

Tl;dr: I do think Ouma cares about Gonta, that he probably even thought of him as the closest thing he had to a friend in the killing game, and that what he did to Gonta in the end wasn’t okay. I think he really did respect Gonta for being such a sweet and kind person, but that he also knew Gonta was extremely naïve and that he would be one of the easiest people in their group to manipulate, hence why he decided to rely on him instead of anyone else. Their friendship is an important part of both of their character arcs, but it’s definitely not what I would call “on equal footing.”

I understand why Ouma’s actions might make some people really resent him, but I also believe that kneejerk reaction of anger and dismissal is exactly the point: Ouma does feel terrible about the things he did, but he doesn’t want anyone’s sympathy or forgiveness, not even the player’s. This, in my opinion, is why he starts embracing the villain role so completely from this point on, and why he’s never quite able to make the same sort of cold, calculating sacrifices in chapter 5 that he did in chapter 4.

I hope this helps answer your question, anon, along with the other chapter 4 post I wrote! Thank you for all your support!

[dangan-meme-palace]

Hey, dear! So I have a question. Do you have an opinion on Tenko? (yes more questions because why not) ~Mod Maki

Heya~! I sure do! And don't worry about asking questions cuz I love answering them!

Fair warning: This will be long as fuck.

Tenko

Tenko is a very solid character with very entertaining and interesting traits that set her apart from most of her peers. She also has a plethora of flaws that would've been enjoyable to see her overcome, and no, I'm not just talking about her drooling and her hatred of men.

Speaking positively, Tenko is a very upbeat person who likes to help others and protect them as best she can, not taking dumb risks with her life but also not unwilling to step up for the sake of others if the need arises. She's very passionate and energetic about things and gives her all for the sake of the things she's interested in, proving to be a very dedicated disciple. An unfortunately lesser known fact about her is that she's very sensitive to the emotions of others and can be seen both giving very wise, heartfelt advice to others while trying her best to uplift them or reflecting on their views of her. She has a genuinely interesting and unique past that adds a lot of depth to her character and brings up struggles that you never would have guessed she had. She also expresses interesting points, morals, and concerns relating to the killing game that make it feel as if she is actually immersed in the setting (which a few v3 characters sadly lack.)

Strong in both body and heart, courageously willing to tackle challenges, and earnestly wanting to improve herself with a zeal that few other members of the V3 cast can match; Tenko has a lot of positive qualities that make her likable, if not lovable.

Having said that, she also has quite a few flaws, but I don't think that they detract from her character. In fact, I think they add quite a bit to her– ...most of them anyway. For now though let's just talk what her flaws actually are: Tenko is a loud, gullible, obnoxious girl who is quick to point fingers at people she finds suspicious (usually men) and will casually insult people she doesn't like. She's self conscious about a lot of things, including her looks, her volume, and her rambunctiousness. Most prominently, she's also very, uh, drooly over Himiko.

Her self consciousness, willinglyness to improve, and past are by far the best of her traits, because of the amount of positive potential for development and intrigue they add to her character.

Her parents sent her to her dojo because they didn't want to deal with their annoying daughter, so they sent her away making her extremely self conscious about the way she acts to this day. With the help of her master she tries her best to work on those traits so that she can become the refined and elegant type of woman that she idolizes due to the standards set by her parents.

Obviously she's still a major work in progress, but it's supremely refreshing to see a character that's already working on themselves instead of yet another girl with trauma being fixed by someone else, most likely by falling in love with a man *cough cough Maki cough cough*. I'm a big fan of self improvement stories simply because they're usually shunted to the side in favor of yet another fixer-upper story, and while that's my own preference, it truly does work in Tenko's favor because it makes her seem that much more natural. She has clear motivations that believably influence her personality and flaws with a set path to self improvement that she's already walking and will continue to walk of her own volition for her own sake.

Her drooly-ness is obviously her worst trait, not only because it's based on gross stereotypes or because it makes Himiko uncomfortable, but because if literally goes against the rest of her character. All of her other traits are cohesive and mesh well with each other, but her most defined flaw runs counter to everything she stands for.

She's shown as someone very conscious of the way others view her –to the point of putting herself down when others compliment her– and very intuitive/sensitive to the feelings and thoughts of others. There is no way for Tenko to not have noticed that she was making Himiko uncomfortable and there is no way that Tenko, who is already very self concious about the way she acts and has a character entirely based on improving herself for the sake of that self consciousness, wouldn't stop as soon as she realizes that she's acting the same way she condemns men for acting. It goes against everything her character stands for and all of her core personality traits.

I'm not saying that it should be ignored –because it shouldn't, unwanted advances are definitely something to be critical of– however this inconsistency is definitely something that was shoehorned in to make her into a ~qUiRkY~ character rather than anything born of her canon personality. It's not a trait authentic to Tenko, but rather something tacked on in order to portray a ~wAcKy~ archetype as danganronpa so often loves to do with it's characters.

Wrapping this up, the moments where I think Tenko truly shined and where her traits showcased in the best possible way were when she infiltrated the student council and planned to convince Angie to stop with the help of Shuichi and Maki, the moment when she talks to Shuichi after he takes off his hat and she tells him that she also wants to fulfill Kaede's wish and tells him to never go back on the progress he's made, and of course her FTEs.

The first one because it was an interesting solution to a very valid concern, the second one because it shows off her compassion and empathy better than most scenes with her do, and the third one because it focuses on her past where she is flawed and then the present where she is still working on those flaws, showing both a determination to change and also just adding some really enriching context that explains Why Tenko is The Way She Is in a very well written way.

All in all, I love Tenko for who she is and while I acknowledge that her actions towards Himiko are canon and should definitely be criticized despite any well-meaning intentions she might have had, I don't believe it was core to her character or even in-character in the first place. Tenko, in my eyes, is a girl in the middle of working on herself with a genuinely moving and entertaining in-between phase with flaws that never fails to make me smile with her caring and bright demeanor. I love this girl and genuinely think that she would have been a more compelling, amusing, and fascinating character with better development potential than the survivors of V3 combined.

[hajimes-erect-ahoge]

Postmortem- Chapter 7

Kaito processes his experience with Kokichi, who still isn't doing well.

ao3

As per usual, all the participants of the newest season of Danganronpa (save for Ouma) had gathered in the dining hall for breakfast, Tojo handing out whatever dishes she had whipped up for them, ever eager to serve them. Momota sat across from Harukawa and Saihara, taking up the edge of the dining hall’s long table.

“I don’t understand why we have to wait for him if the rest of us are perfectly fine.” Harukawa stated flatly, setting her fork down next to her plate.

“I’m assuming it’s just protocol.” Saihara stole a quick glance at Momota, who was staring down at his plate of pancakes, having hardly touched his food. “All of the staff here is liable for whatever happens to us, so I’m sure they’re just waiting until they can release us as a whole.”

Harukawa nodded in agreement, turning to face Momota.

“Hey.”

She reached over the table and snapped her fingers in Momota’s face, grabbing his attention.

“...Huh?” he blinked at them, clearly dazed.

Harukawa fiddled with one of her twintails, a pout prominent on her face.

“You were zoning out again, idiot.” The faintest trace of a blush was visible on her cheeks.

“Aw, shucks! Was Maki Roll worried about big ol’ Kaito Momota?” he chuckled, grinning at the other two.

“Do you want to die?” Harukawa twirled a loose strand of hair between her fingers, no real malice behind her words.

“Besides!” Momota continued, “I wasn’t zoning out! I was totally paying attention to what you two were saying, right Shuichi?”

“You were kind of spaced out for a few minutes…” Saihara admitted. “Plus you haven’t even touched your breakfast…” he directed his gaze towards Momota’s untouched stack of pancakes. “You’re usually the most enthusiastic eater out of the three of us, so it is a bit unusual.”

“Alright, I see what’s going on here!” Momota pointed an accusing finger at the other two. “You two are ganging up on me!” He crossed his arms and huffed. “No fair!”

Harukawa shook her head.

“We just care about you, you big idiot.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, looking to the side and away from the both of them.

“Hey! I’m not an idiot!” Momota pouted. Saihara just chuckled at the couple’s antics.

The three of them resumed eating breakfast, including Momota, making casual conversation until they had all finished.

-------

It was a few hours after breakfast, and most of the others were either in their rooms or relaxing in the common room.

But not Momota.

He was pacing up and down the hall, stopping every now and then right outside of Saihara’s room. Taking a deep breath, he raised his fist up to knock on the door, pausing for a few seconds right before knocking.

Was this really okay?

After talking to Ouma yesterday, Momota knew that he wouldn’t be able to get through to him no matter how hard he tried. Ouma was stubborn, clinging to that mask of his like a lifeline. The only other person that may be able to help was Saihara himself, Momota thought. After cracking the case of every trial they had been through, seeing through Ouma’s mask should be a cinch for the former detective.

Collecting his thoughts, Momota steeled himself and prepared to knock, throwing all caution to the wind. Ouma may hate him for this, but he had left him with little other choice.

Just as Momota was about to knock, the door swung open.

“Momota-kun?” Saihara asked, a bit surprised to see the other boy standing right outside of his door.

“Shuichi?! I, uh… I was just-” Momota stammered.

“I knew I heard someone walking outside of here…” Saihara brought his hand to his chin, Momota’s presence seemingly confirming his suspicions. Could this be related to him spacing out this morning?

“Can we talk?” Momota restlessly tapped his fingers on the side of the door. “It’s about Ouma.” He looked around anxiously, as if speaking of Ouma would cause him to appear.

“Ah, sure.” Saihara opened the door a bit wider so that Momota could enter, the former taking a seat on his bed while the latter opted to stand, still pacing a bit. “What’s up?”

“Ouma tried to kill himself.” Momota wasted no time, getting straight to the point.

“He did?” Saihara asked, eyes wide and brows furrowed.

“I heard him screaming and saw the nurses dragging him off to the emergency room. He looked pretty fucked up.” Momota stated solemnly, as if speaking of the event made him nauseous.

“That would explain why we haven’t seen him in a while…” Saihara paused. “Does anyone else know?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Hmm… We probably shouldn't tell the others just yet. That would be violating Ouma-kun’s privacy.” Saihara added thoughtfully. “Is this what you were thinking about at breakfast?”

“Yeah. Well, kind of…” Momota drifted off. He knew more than he was letting on, and instead of pressing him on the subject Saihara remained quiet, letting Momota spill his thoughts to him. “I tried to talk to him but he shot me down.”

“You did?” Saihara shifted in his seat, processing this new information.

“...Yeah.” Momota hesitated with his response, losing himself in his own thoughts yet again. “Why the hell does he have to be so damn difficult?! He kept spewing nonsense about being evil and how much he loved the killing game! That little shit doesn’t know how to tell the truth if it killed him!”

Saihara hummed in agreement, acknowledging the other boy’s outburst. “I think… I think that Ouma-kun is struggling right now, just like the rest of us. Maybe even more.”

“Yeah… You’re probably right.” Momota sat down on the bed next to Saihara with a huff, crossing his arms. He stared at the ground, clearly still bothered by something.

Saihara inched towards him a bit, observing the other boy’s expression. “Is there something else bothering you, Momota-kun?”

Momota sighed, clasping his hands together. “...Ouma said that I was being selfish by talking to him. That the only reason I was worried about him was because I felt guilty for killing him, or somethin’ like that.”

Saihara swallowed. It was just like Ouma to try and get under Momota’s skin like that and make him feel like he was in the wrong. “I don’t think it was either of your faults. We all did things we regret in the simulation… Besides, Momota-kun, you aren’t selfish at all. You were just trying to help.” Saihara offered him a sincere smile, placing one hand on Momota’s shoulder comfortingly.

Those words seemed to do the trick, as Momota was smiling back at Saihara in a heartbeat.

“Well, it’s not like my sidekick is ever wrong!”

Momota stood back up, making his way to the door. He turned around and flashed Saihara a grin and a thumbs up.

“I’d better get going now! Let me know how it goes, alright?”

“Wait!” Saihara scrambled to his feet, confused. “Let you know how what goes?”

“Oh, wasn’t it obvious?” Momota scratched at the back of his head. “I want you to try talking to Ouma!”

“But I-”

“Don’t worry, Shuichi! I believe in you!” Momota reassured him. “But seriously, I gotta go meet Maki Roll now, so I’ll see you later, yeah?”

Saihara really didn’t feel like arguing, so he instead just nodded as Momota exited the room.

Talking to Ouma-kun… This is going to be difficult.

He had so many walls up, even during the killing game… There’s no way he would open up to someone like me.

Saihara sat at his desk and put his head down.

Despite his bubbly personality, Ouma was very serious deep down, even going as far as to sacrifice himself to end the killing game. But why? Why not just work with the others?

The walls that Ouma-kun has built around himself must be more massive than I even thought…

But then what was the meaning of that?

He thought of the whiteboard in Ouma’s room, where his own picture was labelled as “trustworthy” and separate from the others.

Is that what Momota-kun meant by saying I should talk to Ouma-kun? Because he seems willing to trust me?

But that doesn’t make sense… Ouma-kun doesn’t trust anyone. That’s why he secluded himself throughout the whole entire killing game.

Why would Ouma-kun want to trust someone like me? I’m never useful until it’s too late...

Saihara lifted his head up, resting his chin in his palm.

But maybe that’s what makes him so mysterious…

Ouma-kun…

Will I ever get to truly understand you?

Saihara pulled out the novel he was reading earlier, looking for a distraction from reality. He resumed reading, though Ouma still remained at the back of his mind.

-------

Ouma had barely slept that night.

Replaying the events of the killing game inside his head, he spent the night thinking of what he could’ve done better in order to make his original plan work.

Would it have worked if he didn’t trap Momota inside the Exisal hangar?

Probably not… Momota was the only one capable of lifting everyone’s spirits from the despairing “truth” that Ouma told them, which would have revved up the killing game again.

But then there’s Harukawa.

If Ouma had taken her into consideration, he never would’ve had to throw out his whole mastermind plan and resort to working with Momota. Why did the stupid killer girl have to fall in love with him, anyway? Without her storming into the hangar, Ouma’s plan may have successfully worked.

But that’s not what the mastermind wanted. It was the true mastermind who instigated Harukawa’s actions, after all.

The true mastermind of the killing game, Tsumugi Shirogane… who wasn’t even real. She intentionally foiled Ouma’s plan of putting the killing game to a halt by producing that flashback light, claiming he was a Remnant of Despair.

If only he figured out her identity earlier, if only he had informed the others that the flashback lights were obviously fake, if only...

If only I wasn’t such a screw-up.

Not like it matters anymore anyway. The killing game is over now, and everyone is alive. Everything was just fake, just like our false personalities and altered memories.

Then why does it hurt so much?

Ouma’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table.

6:00 am.

“Good morning, Ouma-kun!” The nurse greeted with a cheery smile on her face. “Oh, would you look at that? You’re already awake! Did you sleep well?”

“Not really.”

More like not at all.

“Oh… Well, I’m sorry to hear that, then!” Despite the tense mood, the nurse still smiled, sickly saccharine.

Ouma didn’t care at all for making small talk. If he wasn’t going to open up to his therapist, there’s no way he was going to open up to some random nurse.

The nurse got to work, checking Ouma’s vitals as per usual. Why they had to do this so early in the morning would remain a mystery to Ouma, but at least he was already up this time.

Half the time the nurse came to check his vitals, Ouma was already up, having gotten little to no sleep that night. The other half of the time he was in a deep sleep, his sleep-deprived body forcing itself asleep desperately.

“You’re all set! Now, before I leave you to go about your day, there’s one last thing I want to check.” The nurse paused, looking down at her clipboard and shuffling through various papers, searching for something. “You’ve been in here for an adequate enough time for us to release you back into your old room. How would you feel about that?” She tilted her head inquisitively. Ouma wanted to gag at how overly-nice she was being.

“Sure.” He rolled his eyes. “Not like I have a choice anyway.”

“...Alright, then.” She faltered for a second, before replacing her frown with a cheerful mask. “You’re free to return to your old room at any point today, then. Just alert one of the hospital staff as you’re doing so.” The nurse said politely before exiting the emergency room.

Ouma didn’t need to be told twice. He immediately gathered up what little belongings he had- mostly silly drawings he made in his free time- and went back to his original room.

While walking down the hall, he spotted another nurse and told her that he was heading back to his room. She said something about how glad she was that Ouma was feeling better, but he tuned her out before she had a chance to finish.

Why do these nurses bother pretending that they care about us? All they do is wear false smiles, putting on a happy facade while never saying how they really feel…

Heh. I guess we both have that in common. 

Ouma smiled dryly to himself at the thought of having something in common with these nurses.

Fortunately for him, Ouma reached his room without running into anyone else besides the nurses or other hospital staff. Once he was in his room he flopped down on the bed, hoping to get some shuteye. Exhausted after running through all the possible courses of action during the killing game last night, he fell asleep almost instantly.

[lynneshobbydomain]

Starlit Love (Momoharu Week Collection Day 1)

((Thank you sunflower_8 for betaing me. This is my first time attempting to write this pairing so hopefully everyone enjoys.))

Prompt: Confessions/Yearning

Rated: G

Summary: Kaito just wants Maki to have friends and be happy, but he’s unsure if he can include himself in that since he wants more.

You can read under the cut or at my AO3

Kaito watched as his two sidekicks were talking on the other side of the classroom during lunch period. Everyone else had scattered into their usual groups, and the different conversations blended together made a white noise that drowned out whatever the two quiet ones were talking about. He noticed that Maki and Shuichi were looking grim around the faces too. Shuichi actively was pulling his hat over his eyes as he was speaking, though Kaito did see that he was attempting to make eye contact with Maki. Which of course meant that he was improving! If just a bit slightly. Maki was also deep in the conversation, pulling on her pig tail with her cheeks puffed up and a cute pout on her lips. That was also a huge improvement too! His sidekicks were working hard at trying to improve and communicate with each other and Kaito couldn’t be more pleased.

He understood that the rest of their classmates couldn’t begin to understand them, and no one really wanted to try to get underneath Maki’s layers too much. They all saw what happened to Kokichi when he outed her on the second day of school when he broke into the teacher’s lounge. It hadn’t been a very cool thing for the rascal to do, but it helped Kaito understand who Maki was and the situation only renewed his determination in trying to make sure both her and Shuichi stopped trying to put up so many guards. Maki had so many different walls that needed to be broken down. For as someone as honest and caring as she was, she was careful to make sure that her honesty was cold and her caring was superficial at best. It took a long time for her to open up about the orphanage, about her life, about how she lived. Shuichi had more information on her than Kaito did, but that was because Shuichi was an awesome detective and dug for his own information. Even if Shuichi called it “selling secrets for money”, it was more than just that. It was about revealing who people were genuinely underneath and he could say without a doubt that if Shuichi was friends with Maki then she really wasn’t all that bad.

She wasn’t all that bad. She had a dry sense of humor. She had a way of smiling without smiling. If you knew her tone of voice just right, it was easy to determine a fond “you’re an idiot” and a deadly “do you want to die”. Maybe it was just him though. Maybe he was one of the few that actually paid attention to the small things like that. Or maybe it was because of Maki that he paid attention. He wondered how many people knew that her tugging on her hair was more than just a nervous tick. She did it when she was embarrassed or annoyed to the fifth level. He wondered how many of his classmates understood that when Maki told them it “was whatever”, she was actually feeling a little hurt by whatever comment or story she was forced to partake in.

It was hard to discern what her feelings were to him though. Kaito knew that he was an idiot to her, impulsive and brash. He also knew from her own words that he was enthusiastic. He just...couldn’t tell exactly if she liked him as a friend, liked him as a brother, or if she felt the same way and thought that he was cool the same way he thought she was cool. 

That being said though their conversation was going for a long time, and both parties were looking as though they didn’t want to be discussing what they were discussing and yet had to do so anyway. Kaito momentarily thought about getting into the middle of it before things got too rough, but he also had to remind himself that they were communicating and it would be rude to just jump in just because he thought they needed it. Chances were, they were talking about something that was extremely important to the both of them. It kind of hurt that they weren’t talking to him, but he shoved that down. It was important that they learned to rely one each other and grow closer together as friends! He was grateful that Shuichi was opening up the way that he was, and it was important for Maki to be exposed to good things rather than all the bad the orphanage and the cult put her through.

“You’re worried too?”

Kaito looked over to see Kaede standing next to him, looking over at the two who were still in deep conversation. “Nah, they got it! They’re my sidekicks! Whatever problem they're talking about, I know they can solve it together and if they need my help they know I’m here ready to listen.” Kaito gave Kaede a thumbs up. “I just don’t like that Shuichi’s doing the turtle thing again though. I thought we got over that…”

Kaede giggled. “You mean him looking like he wants to hide underneath the table? I wonder what it is that Maki’s trying to talk to him about. I mean, I know it’s easy to embarrass him, but...Maki doesn’t usually poke fun like that, does she?”

Kaito wasn’t sure. Shuichi and Maki were on two whole other wavelengths that Kaito couldn’t grasp and honestly didn’t want to. That was their space and he wanted them to have that. It...did make him a little nervous though. Maki was a cool girl, and Shuichi had more of a head on his shoulders than he did ninety percent of the time. It...wouldn’t be all that surprising really if this conversation was about relationships and feelings though…

He would’ve thought Shuichi had eyes on Kaede, if the red cheeks were anything to go by when they spoke about their classmates.

Did he misunderstand or was he right on the money? He’d have to ask after this was over. “Whatever it is, it seems serious. So we should be ready to support no matter what!” Kaito told Kaede, punching his fists together across his chest, a grim determination set on his features. “They’re probably trying to figure out how to talk to us about whatever it is that’s bothering them. We gotta keep our shoulders straight if we want to do anything.”

“Wait, when did I get into this?” Kaede asked, looking a little taken aback. Then she thought about it, “Well, no, you’re right. I talk to Shuichi sometimes and Maki...and whatever it is that they’re concerned about should be something that we should be worried about too...but...I wonder if it’s that kind of serious conversation.”

“Hm? What do you mean?” Kaito asked, putting his hands down.

“It’s just...I’m not good at reading body language like Shuichi is, but...they don’t look like they’re afraid or concerned. It’s more...like they’re uncomfortable.” Kaede explained. “So whatever this conversation is it looks like it’s not something that’s easy to discuss.”

“You think so, huh?” Kaito turned back to look over at his sidekicks and made a mental note to check in on them and maybe get them outdoors for late night training. Whatever it is that was bothering them surely could be pushed back with a distraction. Shuichi worked better when his brain was focused on something other than his failures, and…he wasn’t sure if Maki was getting anything out of their training sessions besides the company. That wasn’t bad of course, he wanted to see her flourish with more people around. He wanted to see her smile more. He wanted her to have friends and be able to rely on others besides just herself. It was good to see her getting out of her shell for sure and he wanted to continue to support that! She didn’t deserve to feel like she was an outcast just because she had a talent that involved other people getting hurt. It wasn’t her fault that was the way life went. Now it was just about fixing what went wrong. 

                                                          X

“You’re not subtle.” Maki approached Kaito at the end of the day being the last two that were finishing up with the cleaning duties for the classroom. Kaito tilted his head slightly and she continued. “You and Kaede were both staring at Shuichi and me through lunch. What? Did we have something on our faces or something?”

“Just worried about you Maki Roll.” Kaito grinned at her. “You two looked like you were talking about something serious. Is everything okay? You can rely on me too you know.”

Maki fell silent. Sometimes, Kaito wondered if she believed anything that he said. She poked at his enthusiasm and optimism more than a few times, but he knew better than to take it personally. It was hard for people to accept genuine things sometimes, and Maki didn’t exactly have any examples of that. At least, none that he knew of. “We were talking about him and Kaede.” Maki finally said after a moment. “As well as about the orphanage.”

“Shuichi is still determined to look into that huh?” Kaito mused thoughtfully. “I suppose he can’t help the curiosity, but I don’t want him to get too badly hurt.”

Maki didn’t say anything for a moment. He knew that she was agreeing with them though. Shuichi’s determination was wonderful; it was his naivety sometimes that worried them both. Not that Kaito was much better. His impulse control has been a source of plenty of Maki’s wrath and Shuichi’s panic. “It’s whatever.” She said after a moment. “I can’t stop him. He’s not going after the assassin part, so I’m grateful for that. I told him before the world needs us, and he could reduce the chances of us being used to the point where I don’t have to be one.”

“Knowing Shuichi, he’d do that and beyond! My sidekicks are just amazing, you know that? You both are trying so hard to make life better in any way that you see fit!” Kaito assured her. “I’m proud of you both!”

Maki stared at him for a moment, “I don’t think being an assassin would make anyone’s life better.” She stressed the last word and Kaito mentally winced at himself. Right idea, poor choice of words. “Though...I suppose there were some people that I got rid of that the world was better off without.”

“You also outlast us during training, you kick our asses everytime!” Kaito pointed out to her. There were more positives than what she was saying and he wanted her to understand that. “It sucks you had to go through it. But you can use those skills for the better now for sure.”

Maki just sighed softly, “An idiot as usual.” She murmured, but Kaito caught the small fond smile that was just right there on her lips. It was usually hard to see, and most people would mistake it as mockery. He understood it as her just acknowledging him in some way. Even if it sounded bad. 

“Wait what do you mean by that? Also you mentioned Kaede and Shuichi were having problems.” Kaito frowned deeply. “Do I need-”

“Stop.” Maki held a hand up before Kaito could go do….something. Kaito felt himself freeze at her request, less out of fearful obedience, but more of concerned listening. It was important to get the full story before he went off, he knew that. “It wasn’t like that.” She shook her head. “Let him figure himself out. He had to deal with me today too.”

“Deal with you?” Kaito echoed back, feeling a little lost. 

“I’m not good with this.” Maki started to tug on her pigtail, her cheeks puffed in annoyance. Kaito knew that was mostly at herself. Emotions weren’t...something Maki allowed herself to show. She couldn’t let them show. It was detrimental to her job and Kaito knew that. Still he took a little pride in knowing that she was annoyed, and he took even more pride that she was showing it rather than keeping up a facade. It made communication easier...even if it was still unstable sometimes. “....we should get dinner.”

“It’s not nighttime yet,” Kaito blinked a little loss. “Are you still hungry? You and Shuichi didn’t eat much at lunch, I noticed. I should’ve stopped you guys from chatting an-”

“I’m asking you out.” Maki replied bluntly, her cheeks tinting pink. “Because I know you won’t.”

“.....Like a date?”

“Do you want to die?” Maki deadpanned, staring at him. “Yes. Like a date. Like I just said.” There was a beat and she took a small step back. “That expression is gross, what are you doing?”

Kaito was pretty sure that he was beaming brightly from ear to ear and he was also certain that if Tsumugi was around she’d proclaim that he had sparkles flying all over him. He took a step forward and grabbed her into a hug. “Of course! No, that’s awesome!” He let her go, looking at her sudden blank expression. She was shocked! Hopefully in a good way, otherwise Kaito wasn’t sure about how awkward the rest of the conversation was going to go. He should’ve thought about boundaries before he went off and hugged her. “I’ll be happy to go out with you! I mean, I thought I was going to confess first, but I guess I was dragging my feet too much. I’m sorry, that wasn’t very...manly of me, but yeah! For sure!”

“Idiot.” Maki replied fondly. “I don’t know where we could go...I didn’t think that far.”

“I’m fine with anything, Maki Roll. As long as you’re with me? I could eat anything.” Kaito beamed. “Tell you what, since you asked me out, let me handle the plans.”

“I...don’t think that’s how that’s supposed to work.” Maki blinked. “But I’m not going to stop you.”

Kaito grinned as he gave her a thumbs up. “Leave everything to me Maki Roll. Just get ready around seven or so.”

“Or so?” Maki echoed, but Kaito was already putting away his cleaning supplies and headed out of the classroom. He had a date to plan.