#the only one who wears as little that comes to mind is Anko

[avengernomore]

Again, it's an anime. Sexy fighting clothes are the norm and don't have to make sense all the time. You're getting upset that Ino's too sexy like come on.

Go look back at the first ask, and look at the other main girl's clothing, then come back and say 'sexy fighting clothes are the norm' again.

I’m not getting upset that Ino is 'too sexy', I’m pointing out that her clothing choice is impractical for her job, and that people wearing as little clothing as her aren’t actually as common as you seem to think.

[animegirl1363]

Title: Cherry Magic: I Hope my Feelings Reach You

Summary: Fushimi gets hit by a strain that causes him to hear the thoughts of those he touches.

Fandoms: K Project

External: AO3

Based on this ask by Ridas

Why is it always him? Today Fushimi got hit by a strain power. Only problem, it hasn't manifested yet. While in the medical vans, He uses his PDA to search for information in the Scepter 4 database. Nothing came up which annoyed Fushimi even more. Back at headquarters Munakata informed him that the strain power is unknown because those effected had reported nothing happening to them.

Fushimi rolled his eyes and handed his reports to Munakata. During that brief interaction their fingers brush together.

'Excellent job as always Fushimi-kun.'

Fushimi clicks his tongue.

"Excellent job as always Fushimi-kun" Munakata say aloud this time.

"You don't have to repeat yourself." Fushimi grumbles.

"Oh? But I did not repeat myself." Munakata gives him a keen look.

"Never mind." Fushimi says as he walks out of the office. He rubs his temple feeling a headache coming on. Something tells him the coming days days will get on his nerves.

-

Akiyama places coffee near Fushimi as he is working. Their shoulders brush against another.

'I hope Fushimi-san get some rest. He look tired.' His lips are not moving.

Fushimi blinks and shakes his head at the phenomenon. Then it hit him. He is able to read the thoughts of people he touches. 

"Fushimi-san?" Akiyama says questionably. "Is everything alright?"

"I am fine." He replies getting back to work.

-

'This is no big deal.' he tells himself. He hate physical contact anyways so avoid people, with an excuse no less, is the best thing ever to happen to him. Although if other people knew, they would probably start acting weird around him. Which would make work difficult. There was no winning, so for now he decides to keep it to himself. After all the power will wear off eventually.

Today he was going to work with Hidaka. As he was walking in the hallway, someone lightly tapped his shoulder.

'How are you faring with you new ability Fushimi-kun?' The captain thinks much to Fushimi's annoyance. How was Munakata using his powers better than Fushimi? He hated it, but it was his power damn it!

Fushimi reachs his office and find Hidaka waiting for him. Fushimi did not think he would have to deal with the tall oaf this early in the shift. "Wait outside I will be ready in a moment."

Fushimi relays his orders and Hidaka brushes past him in glee. 'I'm so happy I get to work with Saruhiko-san again today!'

'Even in your head no one gave you permission to call me by my name!' Fushimi gave Hidaka his most intense glare he could muster.

"F-Fushimi-san...."

-

Not coming into contact with people should have been the easiest thing ever. It was becoming to obvious just how much the little touches matter in the big picture. All day his fingers were brushing up against people when he recied paperwork from them.

'I should feed him more Anko. Fushimi is looking skinnier than usual.' Awashimi thinks as she hands off some papers to Fushimi. Who hands them off to Hidaka.

'Fushimi-san looks so cute today. And Awashima-san's boobs look extra bouncy today.' Fushimi threw Hidaka a look of absolute disgust.

'Maybe I should freak out Hidaka by saying random words in the room.' Goto thinks. Fushimi felt bad for Hidaka.

'Fushimi-san is scarier than usual today. His face is terrifying.' Doumyouji thinks. Fushimi wanted so badly to chase him.

The morning was exhausting. Hopefully he could get through the rest of the day without any issues as long as Hidaka kept his distance.

Hidaka pats his shoulder. "Fushimi-san! Let's give it our all today!" 'I could daydream about kissing him all day.'

Fushimi quickly pulls away. "Let's go."

-

They had to do business at another building. Hidaka could have sat anywhere else in the van, he ops to sit right next to Fushimi. Much to Fushimi's annoyance. The peaceful ride was not peaceful for Fushimi. As their should kept bumping against each other. So Fushimi got a front row seat to Hidaka's current fantasies. He did not need to know about Hidaka's 'Work Trip With Fushimi-san' song, okay! thought he would perfer that over the more lewd fantasies Hidaka has of them.

'Ah~ Saruhiko is really amazing.'

Fushimi look up at Hidaka, this time with a more innocent expression. "What?"

"Oh, I didn't say anything." Hidaka says. Which earns him a click of Fushimi's tongue.

Hidaka grew concerned and places a hand on Fushimi's forehead. Hidaka's thought were full of genuine concern and Fushimi's face starts to get red. Which makes Hidaka even more concered. Fushimi can't handle someone being this worried about him. He eventually slaps Hidaka hand away and puts some distance between them.

They arrive at the building. Fushimi hurriedly gets off the van. Hidaka approaches him grabbing both of Fushimi's shoulders to steady him.

'I wish Fushimi-san would take better care of himself. That just means I have to take care of him even more!'

Fushimi slaps Hidaka away, seemingly flustered.

"Fushimi-san, I can't stay quite any longer. You need to rest!" Hidaka blurts out. "Let's go back to Scepter 4."

Aggravated, Fushimi lets out a sigh. "Why do you keep bothering me about this?"

Hidaka puts a hand on Fushimis's shoulder and both his thoughts and words line up with each other. "Because I care about you!"

Fushimi looks away. "You don't have to worry so much. It's a pain if you care too much."

Fushimi was not sure if that last part was for Hidaka or himself.

"It isn't a pain for me to care," Hidaka smiles as his thoughts finish his sentence. 'Because you are the person I like.'

-

"So when will this go away?" Fushimi grumbles.

"Ah yes. It goes away when you stop being a virgin." Munakata says.

Fushimi cursed his life.

[animeomegas]

Omega!Itachi Getting Married

Anon:  Helllooo!!! I was wonderin if u could write for omega itachi getting married. I'd really appreciate it :)

(Hello! Hello! This is the oldest request in my inbox, so I hope this ends up being worth the wait! Enjoy~ <3)

Warning: implied sexual activity

General headcanons - Non-massacre AU:

Itachi has always known that he would get married someday.

After all, it was his duty as clan heir.

But he never expected to actually love his mate. He was required to angle for a politically/socially advantageous match and he had made his peace with that.

If he had to marry someone to keep peace between clans, he would. If he had to marry someone his parents chose for him to keep conflict in the family down, he would.

Itachi’s fatal flaw is that he doesn’t see his comfort/happiness as important.

And while he looked forward to his future children, his future spouse was a neutral event. It would happen, whether he wanted it to or not, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Best case scenario, he might have a new friend, or at least someone he respects, to live with him.

Worst case scenario, he ends up in a horrible marriage. He tried not to think too much about this option.

He never expected there to be any love between him and his future spouse.

Until he met you.

He found a person who actually loved him. An alpha who was as dedicated to a future family as he was. A partner who respected him more than he had ever hoped.

And Itachi fell hard and fast.

So, when you proposed, he felt like everything he had never dared to hope for was coming true.

You went to get his parents’ permission first (and the permission of the clan by proxy) and did the proposal in front of them. It wasn’t ideal, you knew Itachi would be happier with a private proposal, but you also knew that Itachi wouldn’t believe that he had their approval unless he saw it first-hand.

Itachi and his family are very traditional, so you weren’t mated before you got married, instead, you mated on your wedding night.

Itachi is very happy to let his family dictate the wedding. He doesn’t care as long as he’s married to you at the end of the day.

(But he does have preferences that you can extract from him, but getting Itachi’s true opinion, can be like pulling teeth.)

Proposal:

You had known Itachi since you were both 18, two years now. You had been courting him officially for a year and a half before you proposed.

As I mentioned, you proposed in front of Itachi’s parents, to make sure that he knew that you had gained their approval.

Sasuke was also there, after years of bribery, finally accepting of you and Itachi’s relationship. You met Sasuke when he had just graduated from the academy, and he was not impressed by this new person stealing his brother from him when he wanted Itachi to train him ☹

For Itachi, it was a normal family dinner.

He definitely noticed that you were behaving nervously, but he knew his family could be stiff, overly traditional and a little intimidating, so he figured that was the cause of your discomfort.

Sasuke was also staring at you suspiciously the whole evening, but to be honest, sometimes Sasuke was just like that, so Itachi thought nothing of it.

You kept a hand on his knee for the entire meal, only letting go of him when you announced that you had brought dessert for everyone and would be happy to serve it.

Itachi smiled his gorgeous smile at you, so pleased to see you making an effort with his family (or perhaps he was smiling about the desert, Itachi’s sweet tooth is legendary after all. It was difficult to tell.)

Nervously clenching your hands, you walked over to the fridge, pulling out the plate of dango you had hidden in there earlier. It was Itachi’s favourite, and if there was anything to convince him to say yes to your proposal, it was a demonstration of how much dango you were willing to buy for him.

‘Don’t mess this up,’ you said to yourself, gingerly sliding the plate of dango out of the fridge. It was an elaborate platter that had cost far too much. There were seven different dango flavours with an assortment of dips and dressings, arranged artfully with fruit and dried flowers to decorate the plate.

You walked to back to the table and presented the plate with a dramatic flourish to hide your nerves.

Itachi’s face lit up. Despite your nerves, his obvious excitement put a smile on your face. He really was perfect.

And that’s why you can’t mess this up.

“There’s anko, green tea, sesame,” you pointed at each flavour as you listed them. “Hanami and…er… some other ones…?”

Sasuke scoffed at your embarrassing failure to recall the flavours, causing a red flush to creep up your neck. You didn’t even know that there was this many dango flavours before yesterday! Thankfully, he didn’t say anything, perhaps due to the sharp look Itachi had shot at him.

“I made sure to get enough for everyone, but there’s something I’d like to ask for in return.”

You could see Itachi trying to catch your eye, probably to ask what an earth you were doing, but you purposefully avoided looking in his direction.

“The only thing I ask,” you continued, nervously. “Is for a minute of your time before we eat dessert.”

Mikoto smiled at you and nodded for you to go ahead with a gentle wave of her hand. Sasuke simply raised an eyebrow at you but didn’t interrupt.

“Great,” you laughed nervously. “Um, so, er, Itachi.”

Itachi straightened under your sudden attention. He looked immensely uncomfortable and confused, he was probably panicking about you doing something in front of his family that you would regret. He always played liaison between you and his family to avoid conflict and was probably not comfortable with you doing this. Unfortunately, he would never believe that you had his parents’ approval if you didn’t propose in front of them.

“I’ve known you for two years now, Itachi,” you started, finally looking at Itachi in the eye. “And it sounds horribly cheesy, but I think that I fall in love with you more every day.”

A barely audible gasp left Itachi. He was a genius, after all, he had probably figured out where this was going. He looked torn between panicked and elated, seeming to settle somewhere around shell-shocked.

“I’ve come to realise recently that, a life without that love, without your love, isn’t a life that I want.”

You can just about see tears gathering in Itachi’s waterline. It doesn’t look like he’s breathing at all.

With one final rush of bravery, you pulled out the diamond ring that had been weighing down your pocket for months and knelt down onto the dining room floor.

“Will you marry me?”

Itachi’s head whips around to face his parents, most likely preparing some serious damage control. But when he sees his mother’s gentle smile and his father’s subtle nod, he slowly moves his gaze back to you. You’ve never seen him look so shocked before. It was almost amusing enough to distract you from your nerves. Almost.

“I-,” Itachi swallowed hard. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say what you want to say, Itachi,” his mother replies, trying to encourage him.

His mother’s words seemed to break him out of his stupor and Itachi breathes out a single word.

“Yes.”

You let out a delighted and relieved laugh, taking Itachi’s hand in yours and slipping the ring onto his finger, and even though his family were all watching you, you couldn’t help but pull him into an embrace.

“I love you so much,” you whispered to him. “I’ll read you my real proposal speech this evening.”

Itachi laughed into your shoulder. His laughter had a hysteric edge to it, his mind still clearly reeling at what you had just done.  

“Real speech?”

“You didn’t think I was going read my real proposal out in front of your parents, did you? No way. They still think we’re virgins and I didn’t want to spoil that illusion for them.”

Itachi quickly and efficiently jabbed you in the stomach and hit you with his infamous glare.

“Okay, I deserved that,” you winced, gingerly rubbing the sore spot.

Finally, you pulled away and moved to dish out the dango. And if Itachi got the biggest portion, well, no one mentioned it.

   Planning:

Itachi lets his clan take over the planning.

He doesn’t want to deal with the stress of having to combat his family at every turn and would much rather just let them do it. As long as you’re there with him, nothing else really matters.

But even when his clan leave the smaller decisions up to him, he’s hesitant to voice his opinions, wanting his alpha to make them as an apology for his family commandeering everything.

But if you pay attention to little signs and reactions that Itachi gives, you can figure out some of his wants and desires.

Overall, there isn’t much to say about the wedding planning, because Itachi doesn’t do much of it.

Things he wants (compromise available/no compromise allowed):

Sasuke as his groomsman and Shisui as his best man – Itachi doesn’t have many close friends or relatives. He has you, Sasuke, Shisui… er, he’d probably invite his old captain Kakashi and… well, you get the point. So, every person who is important to him needs to be by his side at his wedding, and who is more important than his best friend and little brother.

A traditional wedding – He isn’t actually that bothered by what type of wedding he has, but he knows his family and clan will insist on a traditional celebration and as I mentioned, he doesn’t want to fight. The elders will push the wedding to be held in the clan compound and Itachi would be told to wear a traditional Uchiha wedding garment.

A sweets cart – This is something that he won’t bring up, and therefore isn’t bolded, but it’s very easy to see his face light up when he sees this in a wedding catalogue. It’s a wooden cart with different jars of sweets with little scoops for people to help themselves to. Itachi loves sweet food, obviously, but he also thinks it would be something the children in the clan would adore. He kind of really wants one, but he won’t bring it up unless someone else does first.

An early wedding – He won’t fight you or his family about this, but ideally, he would like to get married in the morning, maybe around 8 or 9 AM. Itachi is definitely an early bird who prefers the ambience of the early morning which is part of the reason, but mainly he just wants the performative part of the wedding over and done with so he can start his honeymoon. He doesn’t find it appealing to spend all night pretending to tolerate the elders of his clan who will almost certainly spend their time berating him for his choice of partner and then telling him he needs to have as many children as possible because he’s a powerful ninja that will produce powerful children. He just doesn’t want to deal with it. Leaving at 6 PM with you to go on your honeymoon and finally, finally mate? That sounds much more fun.

To try and conceive on his honeymoon – Obviously, he’s not going to force anything if you aren’t ready, but he would really love to start trying to conceive straight away. He’s desperate to have his own children, firstly, but also, he knows this is his only ticket to retiring from being a ninja. He wants to retire so badly, and so if you’re both ready for children, he doesn’t want to wait.

 The wedding:

You don’t see Itachi for a day before the wedding, as is tradition. You see him for the first time that weekend when he’s walking down the hall towards you.

And as Fugaku walks Itachi down the aisle, you are completely breathless.

He looks stunning.

His hair had been intricately platted with flowers, some lose strands of hair left to frame his face.

He’s wearing a deep red, formal kimono just as you expected, but it looked so much more beautiful than you had imagined.

He looked like royalty.

The whole ceremony flew by, and before you knew it, it was time for you and Itachi to say goodbye and leave for your honeymoon.

Your honeymoon was to be had at a cabin held deep in the woods on the Uchiha compound. The rule was that married couples could not be disturbed for anything other than a life-or-death emergency, so you would be completely alone.

It might have been nice to go abroad, but the Uchiha clan didn’t want Itachi to be distracted by his honeymoon outside of Konoha where he might be attacked and his eyes stolen.

You both had already been by to drop off everything you would need for the week, including clothes, food, games and toiletries.

So, now, all that was left was for you two to get there yourself.

You and Itachi had decided to amble your way to the cabin, taking your time to enjoy each other’s company after a day of socialising with everyone but each other. Not to mention that neither of your outfits were particularly well designed for gallivanting through the forest. It would be rather embarrassing to have to end your self-imposed isolation to go to the hospital on day one, so walking slowly was probably a good idea.

You had been walking for about thirty minutes so the cabin should be… There! You were there!

“Wait!” you shot out a hand to stop Itachi from entering, startling him slightly. “Don’t go in yet.”

Itachi furrowed his brows, absently blowing a stray hair from his face that must have fallen down during the walk.

“I… want to carry you inside,” you admitted bashfully.

Itachi chuckled but stepped closer to let you do it. You beamed at him, pressing a kiss against his lips as a thank you. He looked a lot more tired than this morning; his hair was falling out of its elaborate placement and the makeup you were sure he was coerced into using was a little smudged.

He really was the most beautiful person you had ever met.

With his permission now gained, you placed an arm around his shoulders and another arm behind his knees, before gently lifting him off the ground. You nuzzled Itachi’s neck, enjoying his content scent and the way he sighed happily at your attention.

With your husband firmly in your grasp, you nudged open the front door with your foot and stepped safely over the threshold. You carried Itachi all the way to the bedroom and placed him down gently on the bed.

Itachi leant up to steal a kiss.

“Bringing me straight to the bedroom, you are incorrigible,” he teased, kicking off his shoes and making himself comfortable on the bed.

“I-I wasn’t, I didn’t mean that!” you sputtered, flushing under Itachi’s laughter. Silence fell over the room for a moment as the exhaustion from the day swept over you both.

“Would you mind helping me out of this kimono, please? I think it’s time for something a little more comfortable.”

It took a solid ten minutes to get Itachi out of his clothes and into some pyjamas. Ten minutes and a lot of swear words as every layer seemed to be hiding another one underneath.

“This wasn’t how I imagined undressing you on our wedding night, that felt a lot like pass the parcel but somehow more stressful.”

“Oh?” Itachi questioned, pulling you to sit down on the bed with him, finally free from the constraints of his wedding attire. “How did you imagine it?”

Rather than answer with words, you pressed wet kisses over Itachi’s neck, smirking against his skin as you felt his hand come up to grasp at your hair and a gentle moan escape from his lips.

This was definitely going to be the best part of the celebrations.

[kyriolex]

Kawaki Academy Arc: Hana

So this episode was mostly about Himawari's teacher Hana, although we got to learn some stuff about the students too.

Contrary to her character design, Hana has no relation to Sai, Yakumo Kurama, or any of the other painting-type shinobi. She's a clumsy wind user who perpetually sounds like she's on helium.

So she's invited some special instructors to teach the class: Boruto, Sarada, and Mitsuki. Ehou's mind immediately sees it as a networking opportunities. He says you have to get connected to get ahead, because if you get the wrong sensei or team, you may never get a chance to make it to jonin or even chuunin.

It's sad that civilian kids have to think so cynically when they're young, especially while rich kids like Hima can stay innocent, but it's definitely realistic. Props to the writing team for that subtle commentary.

Anyway, Team 7 takes the kids to the gym for some demonstrations. In true little brother style, Boruto gets in Kawaki's face and acts obnoxious. Kawaki kicks him away, and the two start fighting in class.

Poor Himawari just mutters "this always happens." She knew those two would embarrass her the moment they were in a room together.

While Mituski is showing a lightning technique, some of the little kids move for a closer look, because like moths to a flame, they have no sense of self-preservation. Hana wind-blasts them of the way before one of them can get electrocuted, but instead of being a badass moment, the kids whine and she apologizes.

Next up is a bit of product placement, I mean team-building. Boruto brings enough burgers for half the class, then says they have to fight over them. They can go anywhere on campus, and whoever has the red balls by the end of the period wins the burgers.

But since it's peacetime, none of these children know how to fight, so it becomes an awkward game of tag.

(Unrelated note: I apologize to Harika for insulting her fashion sense. Other than the aviator helmet, her outfit is actually put together well. She even has a cute purse...or maybe it's a bug-carrying sack like Shino and Shibi used to wear. Who knows?)

Mimi, who I misgendered last time and is actually a girl, is the only child who thinks "Hey, maybe instead of fighting we should go visit the vending machines." Ehou decides this is AGAINST THE RULES, even though as Soul (girl in red) points out, the teachers never said anything against scavenging.

He confiscates Mimi's candy bar, and soon the whole class is fighting over whether poor Mimi deserves chocolate. Despite Hana's efforts to calm them down, the class splits up, with Ehou and Soul leading each side. Everyone except Kae and the Uzumaki kids boycotts school because they don't want to study with "the enemy."

In one of Shino and Anko's little peanut gallery conversations, Shino concludes this lesson must have been "too advanced" for children who haven't learned about teamwork yet.

The crotchety old man in me wanted Iruka to come down and remind these kids that if they don't come to school, they can't graduate and become ninja. But instead it becomes Hana's duty to bring the class back together.

She approaches both ringleaders to coax them back to school. Soul apparently idolizes Gai-sensei to the point that she has his picture in an old-fashioned locket. So Hana personally sewed Soul a hideous spandex uniform for her to wear. Soul understandably refuses, saying she admires Gai's skills, not his fashion sense.

I'm calling it now, this girl is the new Tenten: a snarky mom-friend who is obsessed with taijutsu. She's skyrocketed in my personal tier list for this class.

Hana bribes Ehou with ramen and a Hokage speech. She then sends out mysterious invitations to each student. They all show up at school, and she announces they're having a cherry blossom viewing party.

The kids point out that it's not the right season for cherry blossoms. She has the kids close their eyes, and then suddenly petals are raining down from the sky. As a viewer, I thought this Hana's chance to step out of Team 7's shadow and show off her fancy genjutsu.

But actually the petals were paper. She was just using wind jutsu to blow the petals around like a fan. But everyone agrees it's the thought that counts.

Soul and Ehou confide in Himawari that they mostly came out of pity for Hana-sensei, since even though she can't do anything right, she still tries hard.

On one hand, that's pretty brutal after Hana visited them both personally for a pep talk. On the other hand, Hana tripped over a rock and needed Himawari and Kawaki to catch her. She also burned the lunch she cooked for the students beyond recognition. So it's a little understandable why the kids doubt her competence.

The last shot shows Shino asking Boruto if he'd like to be a guest instructor again, and Boruto nopes out of that quickly. He's seen how brutal these kids can get. Genocidal aliens he can handle - petty preteen drama he cannot.

[itsuki-minamy]

PROFILE: KUSANAGI IZUMO

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

Real name: Kusanagi Izumo

Terms of address: Kusanagi, Kusanagi-san

[PROFILE]

Birthday: April 10, Aries

Blood type: O

Age: 27 (At the beginning of the second season)

[APPEARANCE]

Physique: 1.88 cm in height. Tall, slim guy.

Face, hair: Blond, with sunglasses. Handsome.

Attire: Fashion with a traditional atmosphere. When he was younger, he was fond of street fashion, but he seems to have changed the fashion system in consideration of his position as the owner of the Homra bar.

Personal effects: Zippo lighter, cigarettes.

[HABITS, SKILLS]

· Emission of flames from lighters and cigarettes, small bullet-shaped fireballs, etc.

· He specializes in medium to long range attacks, but if necessary, he can also use plans first using physical techniques. However, as he is usually a staff member, he often leaves the front line to Yata and his colleagues.

· As a smoker, he also smokes on the battlefield because he can be used as a tool for battle.

[IMPRESSION, OTHER NOTES]

· Although he is an intriguing person who fights for one or two in the play, they are all words and actions for his companions.

· He speaks in a soft dialect of Kyoto.

· Homura's sign is on the right shoulder blade (In symmetry to Totsuka).

[POSITION, OBJECTIVES]

He is the second in command in "Homura". A staff member who controls the actions of the team. Suoh, who is a boss and acts only with a lonely temperament, and a person who is actually moving "Homura" on behalf of Anna, a little girl. While there are many members who have direct emotions, he is the valuable brain member that can bring them together. Owner of the Homra bar.

The first member of the Red Clan along with Totsuka. Suoh, Kusanagi and Totsuka created "Homura".

[PERSONALITY, CONDUCT]

A personality that doesn't easily show his true intention. A grown man who drinks cloudiness.

Despite being good at profit and loss, he has a sweet, people-friendly side that he truly appreciates. He has a strong attachment to "Homura", and while he tries not to get mad at the noisy members, he is thinking back to those days without any problem.

He has always been prepared to think that the day of ruin will come when it comes to Suoh. Realizing Totsuka's death made it inevitable. He knew that Suoh was on the way to the end, for Totsuka's revenge and to aid Suoh's final decision, which endangered Weissmann's anomaly, and he moved to number 2 from “Homura” until the end. The friendship with Suoh and Totsuka, which he has continued since he was a student, was the root of it all.

[FATE, ENDING]

Help destroy the Slate. He sees everything about Suoh and Anna, from the awakening of the two Red Kings to the loss of the sword of Damocles.

[ABILITIES, TACTICS]

Create and attack with fireballs and zippo whips and cigarettes. Usually he doesn't show much, but he is very good at punching and kicking in fights, as he used to have been fighting since he was in high school.

He is also good at brain battles, and gives precise instructions to members in a group battle between clansmen.

[POWER]

B (Executive class of the clan member).

[LIKES]

Good liquor. A guy where you can enjoy your favorite drinks. It is particular about the Scottish.

Bar Homra, he has a deep attachment to the interior.

[DISLIKE]

Being able to hurt what is important.

An unreasonable recipe (Anko Martini).

[HOBBIES]

A journey to find alcohol. Tasting when buying sake.

For Totsuka, Kusanagi's hobbies are fascinating. (Totsuka gets tired soon, but Kusanagi continues for a long time.)

[FASHION]

Wear branded items without dislike. He also uses small items. When he was young, he liked street fashion, but he graduated. Right now he is trying to be a bar owner.

He wears fashionable sunglasses, so his eyesight is not bad.

[BODY]

Tall and stylish. He has large legs. He is slim, but his muscles are tightly attached.

[INTELLIGENCE]

He has a good brain. He is very good at formulating strategy as a staff member and running a bar as a businessman, he also enjoys stocks and investments as a hobby.

Well-mannered and fluent in English. His academic ability was also first class. College graduate.

[BELIEFS]

His goal is sound management, but it is not coming true.

It was originally supposed to be stable, but he left the way, although he has no regrets.

[RELATIONSHIPS]

[EARLY YEARS]

He was born in Kyoto. After graduating from middle school, he moved to Tokyo when his parents moved abroad and he lived with his uncle, Mizuomi Kusanagi, the former owner of the Homra bar. Since he was a child, he has always admired Mizuomi and Homra bar. While spending his high school days helping his uncle's bar, he meets Suoh and Totsuka.

Mizuomi died of illness and inherited the Homra bar as its owner.

[TIMELINE]

· 1986, Izumo Kusanagi is born.

· 2004, Kusanagi meets Suoh, a young man at the same high school.

· 2007, Suoh awakens as "Red King", together with Totsuka he becomes the first members of his clan.

· 2012, Totsuka is killed by the “Colorless King”, Suoh dies in the Gakuenjima incident.

· 2013, Anna awakens as a new Red King.

[ATTITUDE AND THOUGHTS TOWARDS OTHERS]

[TERMS OF THE ADDRESS FOR HIMSELF]

The first person is "Ore".

Smooth dialect of Kyoto. A muted tone.

[TOWARDS SUOH MIKOTO]

He calls him "Mikoto" or "Omae".

It was an old relationship and he was Suoh's only older brother, so he couldn't be shy.

Although he is a royal and a subject, he is a friend before that.

Kusanagi, who described Suoh as "He would be happy if he was a savanna lion", observed Suoh's nature calmly and objectively.

Recognizing both the nature of being unsuitable for “King” and being “King” more than anyone else, he supported him as a friend and as a staff member.

[TOWARDS TOTSUKA TATARA]

He called him "Totsuka" or "Omae".

A friend, a little brother and a member of the clan at the same time. Kusanagi, who doesn't really understand the inside of his heart, secretly makes a very weak sound.

He often scolds him with Yata and his friends, but things happen, the executives consult with Kusanagi.

[TOWARDS ANNA KUSHINA]

He calls her "Anna".

Objective of the asylum. Kusanagi is the most decent guardian for Anna.

Although he recognizes that he must protect her, Anna, who can see various things as an adult, is a partner just like Kusanagi who cannot lie.

[TOWARDS YATA MISAKI]

He calls him "Yata-chan", "Yata", "Omae". (Basically, he calls him "Yata-chan", but when he is serious, he calls him "Yata")

On the battle side, he's dependable, but on the other hand, there are plenty of cases where he can get in trouble and clean up the background, but he's kind of cute. Since Anna became King, he can trust him a little more than before.

[TOWARDS RIKIO KAMAMOTO]

He calls him "Kamamoto" or "Omae".

He's a relatively down-to-earth person in "Homura," so when you ask for something like Anna's protection, he's the person that comes to mind first. His IQ is high, but he thinks it's good to eat delicious things.

[TOWARDS FUSHIMI SARUHIKO]

He calls him "Fushimi" or "Omae".

He was the only one with superior intelligence, other than himself in "Homura," and he was eager to see things from a standing position. However, he believes that Fushimi's transformation was inevitable and he couldn't help himself.

[TOWARDS AWASHIMA SERI]

He calls her "Seri-chan" or "Anta".

Although they are number 2 of the organizations in confrontation, there are many parts that can be understood, and it is a cheap relationship when they meet in private. He also says humorous words that he doesn't know if he means them or not. But he can't love, just order the cocktail from him.

[okaywitheverything]

hi! can i request minato fall for naruto kindergarten teacher please? thank you 😁

Ma'am: A Possible New Mom? Minato x KindergartenTeacher!Reader

My actual first request! Hope I did it justice! Thank you honey for the request. I wrote some sort of mixed AU so I hope you don't mind.

 A/N: This took a lot of time because I have a lot of tests every month. Also i threw up a week ago and was somewhat sick. Then I lost the two drafts and was so irritated with ms word but somehow I managed to write again. So a lot of blood, sweat and tears went into this. Please shower it with love if you even read this awful Author’s note.

Positive A/N: I did like how it turned out tho, the ending is too cute and you won't know what to expect as I didn't either. I genuinely hope you have fun reading this piece.

Word count: 3K

 Your POV

 “It must be fun to play with the kids all day."

People who think that are the biggest fools on the planet in the universe.

You were picking up the various toys scattered throughout the main classroom, sorting them category wise while the kids took a nap. Most of them anyways.

A few babies had insane amount of energies that they refused to sleep whatsoever. But it wasn't as big a problem as people think it is. All kids have different strengths, a variety of ways to function and unique physiology. You knew if a kid was not tired, forcing him or her to doze off isn't healthy.

Just let the kids be.

So that explains why Naruto was alongside you helping you to collect the sponge shurikens scattered around while you put away the stuffed ninkens on the high shelf. Usually Kiba and Rock Lee would be awake as well, and this trio would play in the hall until their limbs gave out but today even they slept after tiring poor Akamaru out for weird challenges.

“Ma’am, I almost forgot! I want to show you something! Come with me!” Naruto suddenly grabbed your hand leaving his task in the midst and urging you to leave yours too. You looked at him puzzled but giggled at his enthusiasm nonetheless, sometimes kids were too darn cute. You loved the ways kids’ eyes lit up, so optimistic and happy and hopeful until the world snatched it all away. You wanted to preserve this for as long as could.

He took you to the room where the kids kept their small backpacks filled with their favourite articles that they thought were absolutely necessary to take everywhere.

No Neji, you don’t need to have three combs for the care of your luscious hair every possible instant.

Naruto generally brought a lot of snacks which you had to retain sometimes so that he would eat healthy but it became even harder to do so when all he wanted was for Sasuke to taste the tomatoey flavour ‘these’ chips had and gift Rock Lee the curry flavour. That boy had a heart of gold.

 He pulled the zipper of his orange backpack open, and took out a stuffed fox.

“Ma’am meet Kurama! I told him all about you and he wanted to meet you!” He held Kurama up while you were gently petting the plushie’s head, he was so excited to see your happiness to meet his esteemed companion.

These kids and their imaginations! You loved every ounce of it!

“Hello Mr. Kurama!” You didn’t feign excitement, you actually were. You loved kids and their creativity and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“He’s my best friend! Don’t tell anyone else though! Others might get sad.”

You did an action of zipping your lips, “Your secret is safe with me, sweetie.”

“Look! I also drew something!” He hastily handed you Kurama and proceeded to take out his yellow sketchbook. He kept turning pages filled with rainbows of colours morphing into one another that made some sense in his cute, little head and finally reached his desired page. He pulled your dress with his little chubby hands, an action he often did when he wanted you to sit beside him. You kneeled down, his plushie settled in your lap now as you waited for him to go ahead.

He handed you his open sketchbook where there were three figures, two adults and one kid judging by the height, all wearing triangular outfits. One kid and an adult had striking yellow hair and blue eyes while the other adult wore an orange dress with a large circle in their hands. On closer inspection, you saw your own hair colour and eye colour being illustrated to the best of the toddler’s ability, as far as the crayons allowed him to portray it. You had a circle in your hands, almost the size of your drawn head with black spots in between while the child in the photo held an orange squishy ball. To save you from your confusion, Naruto came to the rescue and started explaining.

“That’s me and Dada over here. And I’m playing with Kurama! And that’s you Ma’am! Bringing me and dada cookies for being good boys like you do in class!”

Your heart melted right there and then. For some reason, your face heated up too.

“Oh my God, honey, that’s amazing!” You pecked his cheek as Naruto blushed slightly and rubbed his head, “You liked it?”

“I Loved it! What did Dada say about it?”

“He got so red like Sasuke’s tomatoes haha. But he put it on our fridge like my other drawings and he said it was the best one yet.”

Before you could reply, crying was heard from the nap room and you sighed. Looks like someone woke up.

“Yay, someone is up! We can now play!” Naruto began running but you stopped him.

“Let’s be sure to pack this all up before, Ma’am Anko will see to your friend okay?”

Minato was waiting alongside other parents, it was 10 minutes till the kindergarten was over. His mind wandered afar, thinking about his journey to this town.

Minato was very afraid when he moved to Konoha, about Naruto settling in and making friends. Of course, back in his previous town he had already got Naruto a place in the best Kindergarten there, pulling all the needed strings but his promotion caught him off guard. Being a single parent was hard enough as it is, and with the worry of adjusting to new surroundings for his growing son, he was almost going to decline the offer. Only after much conviction from his friends that he deserved this, he took the offer, albeit hesitantly.

He was happy with his new workspace and colleagues as well, and was over the moon when he one of his erudite associates had a son the same age as his own, and recommended the city’s best kindergarten where his son was set to go. He went blindly on his associate’s word, because he knew him to be a wise dad.

For the first two months, he had to work relentlessly to prove his position as the new leader in the branch, and so he had his assistant pick Naruto up while he prepared lunch at home for his precious boy, barely making it home fifteen minutes before they did. But when the company celebrated their first real accomplishment, only then did Minato feel he could take a step back and indulge with his son more as he used to do.

When he began picking him up himself, he realised what he had been missing on: small quirky tales, new words his toddler learned, new friends’ names, his favourite teacher’s cookies apparently. Minato quickly noticed, being the perceptive man he was, that Naruto could go hours and hours talking about his Ma’am. He would have thought of it as a crush, had Naruto been older.

But when he first saw you, he could relate to his son if Naruto did have a crush. He knew he was being superficial, being attracted to your appearance at first sight but he couldn’t help himself that you were almost ethereal, too gorgeous to be true. It seemed as if you were glowing when you laughed alongside the kids or held one of them on your shoulders while searching for the parents.

However, your personality was even more so captivating when he finally talked to you at the parents-teachers conference. You were such a quality teacher, he deduced when he noticed how apt you were at describing each kid individually and how dedicated to their growth you were. He loved the bond you had with Naruto, the boy couldn’t stop grinning upon meeting you on his day off.

The bell rung, breaking him out of his reverie, and he waited as the kids ran to the parents, waving goodbyes here and there, ready for their weekend. He could hear your faint shouting over the buzz, “Make sure you have taken all your belongings, kiddos! Have a good weekend!”    

He knew if you had a special place in his son’s heart, he could let you stay in his heart as well.

It was 8 PM, one hour past the Uzumaki kid’s bedtime, but the blatantly crying kid was nowhere near sleeping. A distressed Minato held him on his hip, as he searched the entire house for his favourite plushie, Kurama, without whom Naruto had never slept.

“We’ll find him, Naru. Do you remember where you last saw it?” Minato asked, pausing and sitting in the comfy sofa, looking at Naruto, hoping he’d have an answer.

Naruto’s wails quietened down, fortunately there were no tears, as he pondered and spoke, “I last showed it to Ma’am!”

Minato sighed, he grasped that Naruto would have left it at the playschool because no inch of his house was unsearched. He settled Naruto down on the couch as he deliberated calling you over a toy. He had your number for emergencies, but was this one? The real objection, the actual reluctance he had for calling was totally different though. He hated to admit it, but talking to Naruto’s daydream of a teacher always left him stuttering like a teenager. He could barely listen and respond when he met her at the kindergarten, but talking to that Goddess one on one was more terrifying and nerve-wracking than moving to a new town.

But he knew there was no way Naruto would sleep without Kurama and it was only Friday, nights to wait if he doesn’t ask you about the plushie today. He couldn’t imagine how disheveled will Naruto be without Kurama by then. He would surely award himself with wine if he managed to finish the call without fainting.

With clammy hands and a vigorously pounding heart, he dialed the number.

You were finishing up the last batch of forms and cleaning up, when you saw something abruptly put in the otherwise shipshape playroom. Before you could further inspect, your phone rang, Mr. Uzumaki flashing on top of the screen. Your heart hammered as you wondered what he could be calling about.

You were not going to lie, Mr. Uzumaki was easy on the eyes, always in class A condition with his well-tailored suits as he came to pick Naruto up. Even the married housewives ogled him not-so-subtly. He was such an excellent father, really devoted in his son’s life while simultaneously conquering the business world. An eye candy, with all the best qualities that existed, an immensely put together God’s creation. He was dream partner to have, yet somehow he was single.

Your phone’s ring broke you out of your musing, as your sweaty palms grabbed the phone and received the cal.

“Good Evening, Mr. Uzumaki.” You managed out, your neck suddenly heating up.

“Good Evening, Miss. I hope I didn’t disturb you.”

“Not at all, I was about to head home. How may I help you?”

“If you are still there at the playschool, could you please…… If you don’t mind….. I’m sorry again I called-”

“I assure you, it’s fine. You don’t need to worry about it. Although you do need to tell me the problem if you want me to help.” You giggled lightly, amused at that man stuttering.

“Thank you. Umm Naruto left his night time plushie there I suppose and he doesn’t sleep without it. Could you please, please check if it’s there?”

“Of course.” You held the phone and as you hummed and went to the Kid’s playroom you found Naruto’s sketchbook with the drawing laying on it, and the Kurama toy beside it. You swore you promised Naruto pack it earlier in the day.

“Looks like he did leave it here.”

“Can you keep the school open a bit late, I’ll come and collect it right aw-”

“Its pretty windy right now outside, and you’ll have to bring Naruto too at this hour. I’ll drop it at your home on my way back, I was planning in leaving in five anyways.” Your mouth spoke before you could process what you said, offering to go to his house? Nice going there, you desperate weirdo.

His choked out “Okay” almost surprised you as you ended the call.

This will be a nice, little detour.

About twenty minutes later, the doorbell to the Uzumaki household rang and Minato sprinted to the door, opening it immediately.

There you stood, with tousled hair from the wind, in your long red pea coat and black heels. Your cheeks lightly tinted, no doubt because of the unruly weather outside. Somehow you still looked absolutely perfect in Minato’s eyes as he traced your form, unable to initiate the conversation.

You, on the other hand, had halted completely when the door opened revealing a ripped Minato, his muscles bulging underneath his black shirt while grey sweatpants hung loosely on his hips. His biceps were so thick, you wondered how he managed to exercise on top of all the responsibilities he had.

You handed it over to Minato whose eyes widened at the piece of paper and stood there awkwardly, processing what to say.

Somehow stopping yourself from all the gawking, you cleared your throat as you dug in your black purse and took out Naruto’s best friend and his masterpiece.

“Guess he left this as well.” He gave a forced laugh, trying to make things less uncomfortable after he stood silent for two minutes.

You chuckled lightly in agreement when suddenly thunder boomed behind you, causing you to shriek and slip, only to be caught by Minato, his hands holding you around your middle tightly in a protective manner. You coughed as you stepped back again and he cleared his throat this time when suddenly it started pouring like hell’s rage on Earth.

“You should stay for a while, at least until the rain lightens.”

You were going to decline, but when you saw how bad it was raining, you knew you would have to accept. “Looks, like I’ll have to. Sorry to impose.”

“It’s no imposition at all. I’m inviting you, don’t fret.”

You stepped inside, shrugging your pea-coat off, revealing your black dress underneath. Minato reddened visibly, taking your pea-coat from you and hanging it. He cursed himself as he thought of conversation starters, wanting to say something, anything to not stand like a fool.

“Would you like wine? I have this blush flavoured bottle reading to drink.”

“I would love that, Thank you. What are you celebrating though, if I may ask?” You agreed, maybe the alcohol would calm your buzzing nerves. Besides you were a sucker for wine.

“Nothing much, a simple personal achievement of sorts.” He said with a grin as he led you inside, hopeful of where the night might lead. Maybe the liquid courage would help him finally ask you out.

Behind the wall, Naruto grinned with a pacifier in his mouth. Mission successful.

So that was that. Until next time, cookies.

[scarecrow-supremacy]

Arranged Love | Pt 2

Thank you to Mrs. Hatake for requesting this prompt to me!

In which: f!reader is interested in being in a fwb like relationship, but is forced into an arranged marriage with the one and only, Hatake Kakashi. Both (y/n) and Kakashi only agree to marry for the sake of convivence. (y/n) with her needs, and Kakashi with his wish to revive his clan.

My first date, eh?

This ought to go terribly-

What did I do to deserve this?

I must be in hell because it'll feel like repenting for my sins.

You anxiously paced your room as your best friends, Yuhi Kurenai and Mitarashi Anko sat at the foot of your bed. "Why'd ya call us so urgently, (y/n)?" Kurenai asked, playing with a lock of her beautiful black hair.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you flopped face-first into your plush mattress, "Date..." was all you could muster up.

"YOU'RE GOIN' ON A DATE!" Anko cheered quite loudly, "Etto, sorry..." She realized her volume, "What I meant was, congrats!"

"Honestly, it's not something to congratulate me on..." Your face fell, "It's not my choice..."

Kurenai cupped your face, "Arranged?" She asked, to which you nodded, "Who'd your parents choose?"

"That silver-haired prick, Hatake." You grumbled, tightly hugging your lavender body-sized pillow. Reluctantly, you gave in to the girl's request for more information.

"Listen, (y/n)," Kurenai tried to reassure you with her calming words, "He's not as bad he used to be. Kakashi's became quite relaxed nowadays." To which, Anko nodded in agreement.

"Sure," You shrugged, "But I think he still hates me..."

Anko poked your cheek, "Just give him a good impression tonight. Things might change, ya know."

"I highly doubt that," You muttered, "Plus, I'm terrible at all things guy-related!"

"We'll help you get ready, just trust us on this," Kurenai told you, her tone telling you that she was serious. Even as a 25-year-old, your friends had a tendency to baby you. Sure, they were older than you, but it tended to be quite troublesome.

"Alright..."

Ding dong, the doorbell to your apartment chimed. At least he's only 25 minutes late... Your inner self grumbled as you went to greet Kakashi at the door. "Kon'nichiwa," You nodded at him with minimal enthusiasm.

"Kon'nichiwa, (l/n)," Kakashi replied in an equally unhappy tone. His eyes flitted up and down your form as the two of you walked out into town.

"What is it, Hatake?" You demanded, arching your eyebrow, "My eyes are up here." For once, you were unhappy with the fact that you were, let's just say, well endowed.

Kakashi shook his head, "Nothing, nothing at all, (l/n)." Incoherently, you muttered all sorts of colorful insults under your breath. So much trying to be in a good mood...

"So, where are we going?" You attempted to lighten up the rocky mood. "Try to start a casual conversation. That not too easy to mess up," Kurenai had told you.

"My house." Kakashi didn't even spare you even the quickest glance. What's up with him! I tried to be friendly. Stuck-up idiot! "We're just having dinner, alright. No more questions." With a soft sigh, you nodded, walking the rest of the way in silence. "Here," Kakashi took your fall jacket, shoving it into the coat closet along with his own. "I'll go warm up the food. You can just have a seat over there." He pointed at a little dining table near a window, "The restroom is over there, in case you need to wash up."

"Itadakimasu," both of you whispered to yourselves, digging into your aromatic dinner of (f/f). The two of you ate the meal in almost complete silence, not sparing the other a glance. To you, the food was simply too good to divert your attention from. You made a mental note to ask Kakashi where he had gotten it from.

Halfway through the meal, Kakashi sighed, placing down his chopsticks, "Why are you here?" He asked, but then rephrased, "As in, what about us are you in for?"

You put down your chopsticks, "I'm not here bec-" You looked up, but were caught off guard by a little something. His face...your mind said in awe at the beauty. Your gaze studied his unmasked face, yet still unable to see his legendary Sharingan eye, which was covered by his hitai-ate. Kakashi's elegant nose, the scar that ran across his left eye, his sharp jawline, and then to the beauty mark that graced a spot close to his ever so slightly chapped lips.

"What? My face?" Kakashi chuckled, "We're going to get married, you better eat used to it." He looked at you happily for just a split-second. Yet the very next moment, he reverted to his original stoic state, "As I was saying, what in this for you?"

You had to take a moment to recover from seeing Kakashi's face, "I-I u-uh..!" You mentally scolded yourself, telling yourself to get your act together. "I'm not here because I want to. It's all arranged by my parents. Hell, I didn't know that you were coming until I came home myself. This is all against my will."

"Hm," Kakashi studied your expression, "That's not exactly how your parents described your situation, but alright."

"What did they tell you?" You asked, your tone drier than the sands of Sunakagure no Sato.

A smirk formed on Kakashi's features, "They said that your love life is quite non-existent. Also, they just wanted to help give you a nudge in that department."

Your eyes widened as a flush adorned your cheeks, either caused by the sake you drank, or out of embarrassment. "N-no! It's not like that! I-it's just not the right time for me. I love my job, and I don't want to settle down just yet. Plus, I haven't found my Mr. Right just yet!" You tried to reason with Kakashi, who was flashing you an amused look. He was probably thriving off of how uncomfortable you felt.

"Actually..." He scratched his cheek, "That makes some sense..."

"So you’re backing out?!" Your eyes glittered with hope.

"Nope," Kakashi shook his head much to your dismay, "Trust me, I like this just as much as you do."

"Then why are we trying to make things work?! Neither of us likes this case, so why give it a chance?" You demanded in despair.

"You have a point," Kakashi pointed out, "But you see, it'll be beneficial for both sides if we work."

You pouted, "How so?"

"For you, your parents will stop nagging you." Kakashi stated, "And I'll get to revive my clan. And also, seeing that you and your parents are the last of your clan, you kekkei genkai May end up being a trademark for the Hatake's."

You rolled your eyes and mumbled, "So you just want to impregnate me, and relabel metal release as a Hatake thing?"

"You make it sound like I'm some kind of bad guy..." Kakashi raised his uncovered eyebrow.

"Well, you definitely aren't under a good light in my mind." You groaned angrily.

Kakashi face-palmed, "I was trying to be nice, and ask about how you were feeling about all of this."

"Well, I'm simply doing this for the sake of connivance." You finished, brushing a lock of your (h/c) hair out of your (e/c) eyes. In full honesty, you were somewhat surprised that Kakashi at least thought about how you felt about the predicament. It definitely wasn't something that you liked. But you had no way out...There goes my freedom...

"Your father told me to give you this..." Kakashi trailed off, sticking his hand into his pocket, fishing an object out of it. You sucked in your breath when you saw it...a ring. Your family's heirloom to be exact. It was beautiful, without a doubt. You had even adored polishing it as a young girl, dreaming about the day you would get to wear it. This was not how you imagined the day go. Tough luck. Life's a bitch, it ain't always cute, you told yourself.

"Well?" Kakashi looked at you expectantly.

With incredible amounts of regret and remorse, you gave him your right hand, "I hate you, Anata," you told him as he slid the beautiful rose gold ring up your ring finger. You had channeled as much sarcasm into the affectionate term, anata. You had spat it out like poison.

"And I loath you, Koishii." Kakashi told you, saying darling just the same way as you had called him dear.

There you were, engaged to your hater. The man who was to marry you for sheer convenience. No love, no respect. Nothing. It was arranged love.

[cyhyr]

Summer of Whump Day 25: Isolation

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: G

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, pre-relationship

WC: ~2000

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Notes: Depression. Self-isolation.

A/N: This is sad, but it's also oddly sweet in the end?

~

Naruto leaves to train with Jiraiya and Iruka is happy for him, he really is. He’s happy that he’s with one of the strongest shinobi of their time, that Jiraiya-sama is going to keep them moving and keep Naruto safe from the Akatsuki. He’s happy that Naruto made time to see him before they left, and that he promised to write as much as Jiraiya deems it to be safe.

Really, he’s happy.

That doesn’t mean that he’s not…

Upset? No, that’s not right.

Within two weeks, Iruka stops going out after work. He packs up his bag and locks up his classroom, and when the other teachers wave him down and ask if he’d like to join them for drinks he says something like, “I appreciate the offer, but I have a lot of grading. Maybe next time?” And then next time comes around and he shakes them off again. After five or six attempts, his co-workers stop asking. Iruka’s not sure if he’s relieved or not.

Anko tries to invite herself over, but Iruka denies her entry, stating that he hasn’t cleaned.

“What? That’s never stopped us hanging out before! C’mon, Ruka, I’ve got beer and bad movies! It’s Friday night!”

But, no, he really hasn’t cleaned in… How long has it been since Naruto left? He closes the door, begging off that he just doesn’t feel up to it tonight. “Maybe next week?”

Anko tries again for the next three weeks. Iruka changes the wards and locks after she breaks in when he denies her the fourth time. She doesn’t try again after that.

And then the Academy goes on a month-long break. He sees Izumo and Kotetsu at the Desk, where he assists four afternoons each week. They talk over him and try to pull him into their conversations, but he does his work and then goes home without exchanging a word with either of them. He gets enough socialization from yelling at the shinobi who think that because he’s… low… means his standards for accepting mission reports have also dropped.

They haven’t. That news gets around quickly enough.

Tsunade-sama asks if he’d like to take on extra shifts or duties. He tells her he doesn’t have the time. It’s not wrong; but also, it’s not time he’s missing, not really. She looks at him oddly, but accepts his answer. Shizune gives him a folder of paperwork to peruse at home, just in case he changes his mind?

(She lied. The “paperwork” is informational pamphlets on empty nest syndrome, depression, and self-isolating. Iruka burns them all. He doesn’t leave himself in a room with just the two of them again.)

He’s only working enough to keep the lights on and put rice in the pantry. The rest of his time is spent curled up on his bed, staring into the abyss of his bedroom. Over the next week he uses up every other bit of food in his home, even the emergency ration bars in his closet. Anything to not have to leave the house unnecessarily and see everyone’s pity.

He’s not…

He’s happy for Naruto.

He’s not even related to Naruto. He can’t have empty nest syndrome because Naruto never lived with him!

Iruka absolutely doesn’t cry himself to sleep. Because he’s happy, damnit.

~

Iruka stops going to work. He can hardly make himself get out of bed anymore. He uses the toilet and makes a pot of rice once every other day, eating it cold between fresh pots. Tea is too much work, even though a niggling part of him that sounds like Sandaime-sama says that fresh, hot tea would do wonders for his mood. Instead he’s drinking only water from the tap and barely remembering to wash his cup afterwards.

Izumo and Kotetsu come over and knock repetitively on both his front door and his bedroom window. Iruka stays in bed and ignores them. He can’t take their pity anymore.

He wants desperately to be with his friends, but more than that he wants to want to be with them.

There’s laundry all over his bedroom floor, and he’s not sure how that happened because he’s been wearing the same uniform for—days? Weeks? The apartment is a mess, but how because he stays in bed all day except to eat or use the toilet.

His body aches.

He stares at a picture taken of him and Naruto after his back injury had healed. It has a place of honor on his nightstand, next to his perpetually empty rice bowl and glass of room-temperature water.

Maybe… maybe, in the solitude of his own home, he can admit that he’s a little bit sad that Naruto’s gone.

~

He doesn’t remember falling asleep. He doesn’t remember waking up.

He exists in an odd between-state; the worst part is that he exists.

Every breath hurts. Naruto’s smile lights up his room from his nightstand, but it’s the only beacon he has left.

The knocking starts up again an hour before he’s supposed to report to the Desk. It continues, again, six hours later. Both times, he tunes it out. He’s not ready.

~

Kakashi clutches the letter in his hand and looks up at the apartment complex. Naruto had been gone just over a month and already sent a letter trying to hide how much he misses everyone. But in his very last post-script, he asked Kakashi to do something…

Please check in on Iruka-sensei for me. He’s really good at hiding how he’s feeling, even if it includes hiding himself away.

And, well, Naruto can’t have known about the tiny crush Kakashi’s been harboring for Iruka since he stood up to him at the chūnin exam nominations almost a year ago. But he can do this for his student.

So he steps up to Iruka’s door and knocks. And instead of the door he knocked on opening, the neighbor’s does.

“What’s all this again—oh, you’re new,” the woman says.

“Ah, yes, I suppose,” Kakashi stammers. “I’ve been off on a mission and just got back. Do you know if he’s home?”

She scoffs. “He doesn’t leave anymore.”

Shit.

“His friends stopped trying to get him to open the door three days ago. Blessed silence, for once.”

“My apologies, for disturbing you,” he says. He places a hand on the door and gently tugs at the wards. They’re strong—stronger than what a chūnin schoolteacher should bother having, but not strong enough that he can’t break through. “I’ll be only a minute longer.”

“See that you are,” the woman shuffles back inside. “It’s been wonderful since Umino stopped bringing the Fox around. No screeching.”

Kakashi wills himself to ignore her and turn back to Iruka’s door. The neighbor’s door clicks shut, and so he pulls up his hitai-ate and looks at the wards with the sharingan. It takes him a careful three minutes of chakra manipulation to undo them, but soon the wards fall and Kakashi turns the handle.

Unlocked.

The apartment is… cluttered? It could use a quick clean-up, definitely. There’s this layer of dust on many of the hard surfaces, and the floors could use a mop. But at first glance, it doesn’t look like some homes he’s stepped into holding depressed people.

A quick look in the kitchen shows much more evidence of Iruka hiding something. Dishes overflow the sink, the stove top has burned grains of rice stuck in places, and an overwhelming bland smell permeates the air. He steps in quickly and checks the fridge, sighing. There’s a few condiment bottles, but other than that there was only a container of rice in the middle shelf.

He’s torturing himself. Kakashi wonders if he’s aware of this.

There are three doors at the end of a short hallway outside of the living room. One, on the right, is a bathroom. The other, the left one, he can tell is the “spare” room Naruto claims is his—there’s a ramen poster pinned to the door, and while he remembers that Iruka is also very fond of ramen, he feels he can say with surety that Iruka wouldn’t decorate with ramen-themed posters.

This leaves the center door at the very end. He knocks twice before opening the door slowly.

Here is where the depression has settled, clearly.

Here is where Iruka is laid out on his side, curled slightly towards his nightstand. His hair is down, streaming across his pillow in clumps. There are clothes all over the floor; Kakashi wonders if any of them are clean. Probably not; he’ll assume not. There are ration bar wrappers near the bedside and empty dishes scattered around.

He’s torn. Should he clean up and then rouse Iruka; or talk to Iruka and then ask if he wants help cleaning up?

Kakashi tries to remember what he was like after losing… but it’s not the same, is it? It’s never the same. Every loss, every kind of loss, hits differently.

He steps over dirty clothes and kicks aside food wrappers. He kneels down beside Iruka’s nightstand and pushes aside a clump of hair that had fallen over his face. Iruka’s eyes are red-rimmed, sunken, and worst of all, cold.

“Naruto sent me,” he starts with, hoping it will get a reaction. It doesn’t. He follows Iruka’s gaze to a picture of the two of them, taken a week or so after Naruto became genin. How had he never noticed that Iruka and Naruto have the same wide smile? Naruto must have picked it up from Iruka.

“He was worried that you would hide away how you’re feeling,” Kakashi continues. “I suppose he was right to worry.”

No response.

“You can’t keep isolating yourself, sensei,” he says. “It’s not healthy.”

An answer, finally, comes softly. “Okay.”

Kakashi narrows his eye. “Okay?”

Iruka shrugs.

“Iruka, do you even know what day it is?”

Iruka shrugs again.

Kakashi carefully reaches out to touch him. Iruka flinches at the contact, but allows it. He pleads, “You need to go outside.”

“People stare,” he mutters. “Don’t want their pity.”

“I’ll keep them from looking at you,” Kakashi says.

“How?”

“I can be fairly intimidating when I want to be.” Kakashi puts his hand on top of Iruka’s. His skin is dry and cracked on his fingertips. “Will you come with me?” he asks.

“Can’t.”

“Why not?”

Iruka blushes. “I... I don’t have anything clean to wear.”

Kakashi smiles. “That’s an easy fix. We’ll make a plan and do it later, after the laundry is done.”

“I don’t have the energy to—”

“I’ll take care of it,” he waves his other hand. “Why don’t you go clean up?”

Iruka squeezes his eyes shut tight and his shoulders shake minutely. “I think my hair’s a loss,” he sniffs. “I’d have to cut it off and I—”

“Iruka, please,” Kakashi interrupts. He leans in and presses his masked lips to the back of Iruka’s hand. “No more excuses. Please, try for me? For Naruto? He’d hate to see you like this. I hate to see you like this. If you need your hair cut, I’ll cut it. If you need fresh clothes, I’ll wash them. If you need groceries, I’ll buy them. I want to help you. Please let me help you.”

Iruka doesn’t open his eyes for a long time, but he also doesn’t pull away. Kakashi waits. And when the nod comes, small and hesitantly, he can’t help but kiss Iruka’s hand again.

“I’m sorry,” Iruka whispers. “I shouldn’t—it’s—I’m being such a burden and I’m sorry.”

“You’re worth it,” Kakashi shakes his head. “Whatever burden you are, I’m willing to carry it if it comes with you.”

Iruka blushes. “That’s… don’t use your Icha Icha lines on me, please.”

“It’s not a line,” Kakashi says. “Come on, you need a shower, a shave, and some real food—not just rice. I’ll start a load of laundry while you’re cleaning up, and order in.”

“What about outside…?”

“We’ll do that tomorrow.”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

My Entry for the @konoblog-simps College Au event. I had to write this after moving to my new place with little to no actual wifi and most of it was done on my phone so...ya, that was fun lol.

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Anko, Maito Gai, Uchiha Obito, Nohara Rin, Genma.

AO3

Tags: College au

Word count: 2791

Summary: Hatake Kakashi is a genius. Top of his class in every subject, he rarely ever has to put effort into his assignments, and as a rule he doesn't. Except when it comes to Photography.

Special thanks: @saudade-mayari and @punk-pandame for help me out by Betaing the fic i had to write on my phone mostly.

Biology had never been one of Kakashi’s favourite subjects. It was tedious, boring and had little to offer that challenged him in a meaningful way. Of course, that could be said about most of the classes that he took, but today’s problem was biology.

He’d deal with the other classes when he had to sit in them listening to the professor drone on about a boring lab that involved little to no actual skill and could just as easily be done on a computer. There were so many more interesting things he could be doing with this time.

Things he could be learning without having to cut open a frog just to get a good look at its insides.

“Alright!” Hearing Anko’s cheerful voice, Kakashi directed his gaze towards her. The only thing that could be expected when Anko was happy about something, was danger. It was what Anko lived for. The thing that gave her life, and today was no exception judging by the gleeful look in her eyes. “Let’s see what’s hidden inside of you.”

How she could have so much fun with something as simple as a dissection, Kakashi would never know. Though, at least she could find some enjoyment in a class that offered nothing but boredom for him and many others. So much fun that even when she started to cut into the poor frog’s exposed belly, there was still a giant grin on her face. An expression that made her look a little mad, in his opinion.

One that he couldn’t help but feel the urge to photograph.

Forgetting about the task at hand, he reached down to grab the messenger bag that he had set down beside his stool upon taking his seat and quickly dug out his digital camera. A small, simple camera that he had bought specifically for his photography class. Not a purchase that he had been expecting to make when he decided what subjects he wanted to take this semester, but easily the best purchase he had made. No 30,000 Yen textbook could ever hope to compare to the beauty of this camera.

Switching the camera on, he peered through the viewfinder and waited for the lens to come into focus. Just as he pressed the shutter button, successfully capturing a photo, Anko threw her head back and cackled. Even without looking at the LCD Display to see the picture that he had captured, Kakashi could already tell that it was perfect. With a look of maniacal glee on her face, Anko painted a delightful picture of the perfect Biology student. Someone who could find excitement in even the most mundane task set in front of them.

If anyone ever asked Kakashi to choose one picture to show people what a mad scientist would look like in real life, he would have to choose this one. There wasn’t a soul in the world who had ‘mad scientist’ down quite as perfectly as Anko, and if Biology class was good for anything it was showing just how much joy the woman got from things that would disgust or bore any other human.

“Mr. Hatake,” dragging his eyes off of his camera, Kakashi cringed when he saw Professor Orochimaru standing there glaring at him with that same unimpressed look he always had when he was speaking to Kakashi. “I think it would be best if you paid attention to the task at hand, rather than sneaking photographs of your classmates. Don’t you?”

Biting his tongue, Kakashi tucked the camera away in his bag and set it down beside his chair once more. It was best not to get into an argument that he was unlikely to win, even if returning his gaze to the poor frog laying on the table in front of him did drain all of the excitement he had been feeling just a second ago while holding his camera.

“Hey,” lifting his eyes, he watched as Anko leaned over the desk. That same joyful smile that she had been wearing while dissecting her frog was still plastered on her face. “You’ll show me the picture after class, right? I want to make sure I look perfectly terrifying in whatever picture you’re about to print off of me.”

Terrifying. That was certainly one way to describe her.

“I’ll show you after class,” he promised, giving her a playful wink. “Just try not to make a mess while you’re having fun.”

His comment was met with a laugh. “No promises.”

-----------------------------------------------

After a long day of classes, it was always nice to head out to his favorite café and get a nice cup of hot chocolate. An hour to relax before he started working on assignments, or headed to his part-time job at the university's campus bar.

Just some time to recharge after a long day of being bored out of his mind from monotone professors and lessons they always swore would require everyone's full attention to be understood, but never really did.

Today, he was not getting that time alone he usually needed so badly. Instead, he was sitting at a table with his three best friends, and the three loudest people in all of Konoha University.

Nohara Rin, beautiful and kind but with a voice that could not be missed by anyone. A trait she had picked up from spending so much time with Obito, no doubt.

Speaking of whom: Uchiha Obito. The second loudest student in all of Konoha University and possibly the world. Brash, knuckle-headed and dumber than a sack of rocks some days.

Ok, most days but Kakashi liked to give him the benefit of the doubt sometimes.

And then there was Maito Gai. Sweet, handsome, and always bursting with energy. The only person who was louder than Obito, and he made sure to leave no questions about that fact whenever he spoke.

How Kakashi had ended up with these three as friends he would never know, but he also wouldn't change it for the world. Even if his ears were ringing after five minutes with all three of them.

"How can you even say that?" Obito threw a hand over his heart in one of the most dramatic displays of horror Kakashi had ever seen. "Nutritional science? Better than theatre? Lies! Utter lies!"

"Maybe in your mind," Rin responded with a roll of her eyes. “Not everyone thinks Theater is the best thing ever invented since Dango.”

Gai wasn't so calm about Obito's response though. Not one to be outdone, he threw his hands down on the table and stood up in his spot so that he was staring Obito down. "At least Nutritional sciences can be used to help people," he defended his class with the same fiery passion that he showed with everything he did. “You're just learning to put on a show, which I'm convinced is a blood trait already for the Uchiha."

Kakashi couldn't find it in him to argue with that. Obito may be one of the most dramatic people he knew, but when it came to the Uchiha he was hardly the only one. Most days Shisui could give Obito a run for his money when it came to dramatic flare.

A fact Obito always got upset with him for pointing out.

"Kakashi, back me up here," Gai turned to look at him with soft black eyes that Kakashi would happily get lost in for the rest of the day. "His major is just...it doesn't serve a purpose."

"Someone has to be entertaining in this world, beast face," Obito protested. "And what's Kakashi going to say? His major is so boring he looks like he's going to fall asleep in class all the time."

"That's not wrong," glancing towards Rin, Kakashi jutted out his bottom lip to form the most pathetic pout that he could. "What? It's true! Today in biology you took a picture of Anko instead of doing the assignment."

Sometimes he forgot that he shared classes with Rin, but she always found a way to remind him, which wouldn't be nearly as bad if she didn't call him out on being a lazy shit like that in front of Gai.

"Kakashi, are you ignoring class again for photography?"

There was a disappointment in Gai's voice that he couldn’t stand hearing. As if he was about to be scolded for his life choices when he would much rather listen to Gai talk about how amazing he was.

But since he was now clearly upset with him thanks to Rin, there was only one option left to get him off of his back.

“I believe you were talking about how Obito's major isn't nearly as useful as yours," he offered, sticking his tongue out towards Obito when he immediately started to scold Kakashi for turning the conversation away from his own inability to focus in class.

"Well, yes-" watching as Gai turned his attention back to the conversation, immediately picking up where he had left off as if there had been no interruption, Kakashi couldn't help but reach into his backpack and pull out his camera.

Did he really need a picture of the moment that Obito stuck a finger out and poked Gai in the nose while desperately defending his major?

Yes. He did. Not only would it go well with the project, but the look of annoyance on Gai's face was priceless.

Definitely a picture worth putting in his personal photo album.

"I told you," turning his camera towards Rin, Kakashi snapped another picture just as she stuck her tongue out at him. "Tell me I look pretty in it."

Peering down at the image display, Kakashi smiled softly. "Absolutely stunning."

----------------------------------------------------------------

There was a process that Kakashi had when it came to choosing the perfect pictures for his project. First, he would go through his camera roll and make a mental note of all of the best pictures he could find. Next, he would transfer everything onto his laptop and then move the pictures he wanted into a folder for printing.

After getting the selected pictures printed, he would sit down at the small desk in his dorm room and organize them into the perfect design for his project. Whatever pictures ended up not fitting, would ultimately go into the small photo album that he kept under his desk. A book of personal favorites that he would look at on those really bad mental health days where he just needed something to make him smile. Even just for a moment.

It was a long process, but there was a reason he had never gotten anything less than a ninety on any of his photography projects.

Not that he really ever did poorly on any of his assignments. He actually did quite well on all of his lab assignments for biology and chemistry, even if he had a bad habit of not paying attention. It was probably the main reason his professors didn’t like him all that much.

“Still working on that, huh?” Glaring over at his roommate’s bed, he watched as the brunette stared back at him from over top his business textbook. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you put even half of this amount of effort into any of your other assignments, and I’m pretty sure those ones actually matter for your major.”

It was a true fact, just not one he wanted to hear.

He caught enough shit from Rin and Gai about his less than enthusiastic approach to his major.

“Don’t you have a small business to start up?” He huffed, turning his attention back down to the assignment in front of him. “Or did it go bankrupt already?”

“My business going bankrupt is as likely to happen as you actually telling Gai you have a crush on him,” Turning in his spot once again, Kakashi opened his mouth to argue against Genma’s frankly insulting assumption, only to find himself facing down a glare that could rival Rin’s angry look. “Don’t you dare try to lie to me, Hatake. Anyone can tell you have a crush on Gai.”

It wasn’t fair.

He wasn’t that obvious about it, was he?

“But that’s not what we’re talking about here, is it?” Genma continued. “We’re talking about your work ethic when it comes to assignments, and the fact that you’d rather put all of your efforts into the assignments for the one class that holds no value to your major.”

It was rather rude, Kakashi thought. First Genma called him out on his little crush, and then he turned around and scolded him for wanting to work on his photography assignment. Just because it didn’t hold any weight for his degree didn’t mean he shouldn’t put effort into it.

“Science is…” ‘Boring’ lingered on the tip of his tongue, but it wasn’t quite the word he was looking for. He actually loved Science, and had chosen the major hoping to explore a few different options after getting his degree. “Well, I love Science. Biology is interesting, Chemistry is a blast,” sometimes literally, if Anko was in the class with him. “And don’t get me started on Environmental sciences. I love it to bits. It’s just…the professors.”

There it was. The explanation he had been searching for.

The classes weren’t boring if they were being taught by the right people. Professor Uzumaki always made Astronomy interesting with her grand explanations and detailed outlines that drew his attention in. She never had any complaints about Kakashi not being focused in class. In fact, she had told him on multiple occasions that he was one of her most engaged students.

“Professor Orochimaru make’s biology seem like a chore, and the only thing interesting about Chemistry is watching Anko test the limits of just what can be mixed together without blowing the classroom up.” He was actually surprised she had managed to avoid doing that to date, given just how often she liked to experiment with chemicals. “But Photography is interesting. Professor Namekaze lets us explore things that we like, and the only restriction we have is the assignments due date and the basic premise of what the assignment is.”

This assignment for example.

His professor's words had been on repeat in his mind since monday when they received the assignment, and every picture he had taken since then had been carefully thought out to fit the assignment.

Though, now that he thought a bit more about it, he was missing one picture. Something that would tie the project together perfectly.

“Hey! Are you listening to me, Kakashi?” Picking his camera up off of the desk, he turned in his spot to face Gemma and brought the camera up so that he could peer through the viewfinder just as Genma tossed his book off to the side and started to crawl out of his bed. “Don’t you date-”

It was too late though. As soon as Genma started to reach out towards him in a poor attempt to snatch the camera away, he snapped the picture. The final piece to make the perfect assignment.

There was no way he would get anything less than a ninety-five on this one. The pictures were too perfect.

“Maybe I'll print you out a copy,” he teased, lowering his camera so that he could smile at Gemma. “You could use it for your tinder profile picture. Then at least all the people you bring over would know what they’re getting themselves into.”

The look on Genma’s face spelled trouble. As if Kakashi had just opened Pandora's box and released all of the worst plaques onto the world.

“You know, I have plans to hang out with Gai tomorrow,” Yep, that was definitely the worst punishment for his transgressions. There was no way this could possibly- “I think I’ll tell him about your little crush. How you can never shut up about him, and that dorky smile you get on your face whenever someone mentions him.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind he recalled a lecture from his father when he was young. A long explanation for why murder was wrong, and not a solution to all of lifes worst problems.

Surely this was an exception.

No one could possibly prosecute him for Genma’s murder when they found out what a cruel, horrible man he was.

And even if they could, they’d have to find the body first.

[ohayohimawari]

And it was Love at First Brawl

A drabble written for Day 7 of @kakaobiweek Violet | Music | Fantasy

This is another humorous piece appropriate for teen-and-up readers and set in a modern AU.

This drabble is heavily inspired by my good friend @azuzeldraws incredible art series, Metal Konoha, and I dedicate this chapter to her. Thank you, Zu, for letting us use your amazing work to promote this event!

And it was Love at First Brawl

It was one of those Friday nights when Kakashi left the restaurant with a stomach full of his favorite supper and an empty soul after dining alone.

Though the day neared its end, Konoha’s club district was just beginning to wake. The streets were full of jaywalkers, inexperienced parallel-parkers, and the night owl versions of early birds lined up in boisterous queues waiting for the bars to open.

Kakashi felt entirely out of place and maybe almost too old for this scene while he dutifully waited at the corner for the pedestrian crossing light to signal his turn. He stepped into the crosswalk once it was safe, and he saw a man on the opposite side, jogging towards the intersection to cross before the light changed.

Kakashi stopped in his tracks in the middle of the street, entirely entranced.

He watched the individual blades of the other man’s black, unruly hair as they bounced with each step. He wore a t-shirt that fitted him like he was born to wear it and a healthy glow on every inch of exposed skin. His sparkling eyes met Kakashi’s as he trotted past him on the street and offered a greeting through a roguish grin. “Hey.”

And that was all it took.

Being a classic lit teacher, he had a multitude of words at his disposal. That man was vivacity personified, and Kakashi turned on his heel, following him with his eyes. The dark-haired man ran right up to the door of the seediest bar on the street and gleefully skipped up the stairs. He exchanged laughter and a handshake with the bouncer and disappeared inside.

The pedestrian light flashed red, alerting Kakashi that he still stood in the middle of the street. His feet moved of their own accord, and a moment later, his brain agreed with their plan. He retraced his steps, abandoning his intention to go home, knowing he would abandon much more than that for a chance to meet the stranger that charmed him.

As driven as he was, Kakashi hesitated for a moment outside of the club, assessing it. The sidewalk in front of it was littered with empty bottles and cigarette butts, and two people appeared to be doing something he didn’t want to interrupt in the shadows of the alley next to it. Then, he assessed himself.

He was dressed more casually than usual, out for a date with nobody but him, wearing a t-shirt that featured a band called ROOT. He had no idea who they were, or why they used all capital letters, but his students chose it from the trendy store Boiling Subject as a gift for him, and it was comfortable after wearing a tie all day. Deciding that his attire was appropriate for the venue, Kakashi walked up the stairs that led to the door, where he was stopped by the same menacing bouncer that laughed only moments before.

“You sure you wanna do this?” The man growled through scarred lips.

“Pretty sure,” Kakashi replied, though his confidence wavered.

“We don’t want any trouble.” The man’s muscles bulged in a show of strength as he folded his arms across his chest.

“I don’t want to bring any,” Kakashi replied, honestly.

“Let him in, Ibiki.” A pony-tailed bartender wearing a high-cut shirt that showed more cleavage than fabric chastised the bouncer.

“Whatever you say, Anko,” Ibiki moved aside to allow Kakashi into the bar.

As foreboding as the exchange was, it caught the attention of the handsome dark-haired stranger who stood at the bar. Bolstered, Kakashi stood in the space next to him.

“What can I getcha, hon?” Anko tossed a stained cardboard coaster onto the bar in front of him.

“A beer,” Kakashi ordered as if he’d never been to a pub before, too nervous to recall his favorite drink.

Anko retrieved a bottle from the cooler behind her while Kakashi withdrew a few bills from his wallet. Then, he wrapped his hand around the bottle of Lone Ninja Star she offered after opening it with her teeth.

Kakashi ignored how unhygienic it was to take a sip from the bottle as he did it, glancing around the bar, looking everywhere but at the man that led him there. It was half-full of patrons in various stages of sobriety and had a stage all set up and waiting for a band to perform. When he finished noting where all the emergency exits were, the most incredible thing happened.

“Cheers,” Mr. Vivacity said, bringing their beer bottles together in a toast.

“Cheers,” Kakashi replied, then pulled a long swig from the bottle, savoring the moment that the man of his dreams had spoken first.

“So, uh,” the dark-haired man glanced down at Kakashi’s shirt, and a chuckle bubbled out of him, “you like this band too?” He tilted his head in the direction of the stage.

“Um, yeah," Kakashi stammered, "I mean, yes. Yes, I do."

"Cool," Mr. Vivacity replied with a smile that made Kakashi's knees buckle. "Which of their CDs is your favorite?"

Kakashi's quick mind kicked into gear on the spot. If the band had multiple releases, then the safest answer would be, "I think their first one."

"Really?" The dark-haired man appeared pleasantly surprised. "So, you're an old-school fan, huh?"

“Yep, I guess I am,” Kakashi laughed a little awkwardly and brought his beer back to his lips.

“I think my favorite track on that one is, Kill Me With Your Kekkei Genkai,” Mr. Vivacity nodded, thinking aloud, and Kakashi felt his eyes bulge, worried that he might not be able to keep up the facade. But then he was spared when the other man suddenly changed the subject. “By the way, my name is—”

“Crybaby Tobi, you finally made it!” A man with slicked blonde hair and wearing a shirt with religious cult symbols literally crashed into their conversation, spilling his beer on Kakashi’s shirt.

The unwelcome interruption glanced at him. “My bad,” he drawled unapologetically, looking down at the soiled shirt. Then, his eyes shot up to meet Kakashi’s.

“WHOA! You’ve got balls, man!”

“Thank you,” Kakashi decided to take it as a compliment, turning towards the bar to grab a few napkins. He blotted at his shirt when Anko shouted to him that there was a hot air dryer in the men’s room, and, as much as Kakashi didn’t want to walk away from Mr. Crybaby before he could learn his real name, he didn’t want to stand there like an idiot in a wet ROOT t-shirt.

By the time he exited the bathroom, a makeshift merchandise table had appeared near it, so he bee-lined to it to learn more about the band to contribute to a conversation about them. At least, now he knew the band’s name was ANBU, and he wondered what was up with bands using all capital letters.

He had barely begun to browse the tracklist on the back of one of the CDs when the purple-haired, facial-pierced woman at the table asked, “You gonna buy that?”

Something about her tone made Kakashi feel obligated to pull out his wallet, and he handed over a twenty-dollar bill.

“I don’t have change for that,” she deadpanned, bored, and sarcastic.

Suddenly, the bar erupted with shouting, so Kakashi quickly grabbed a second CD to even out the exchange and hurried back to the bar and Mr. Vivacity, or Crybaby, or whoever he was.

Then, his heart sank when he saw that the other man wasn’t there anymore.

Kakashi stood in front of the stage feeling like the biggest fish out of water when the club’s sound system screamed into life with the ear-splitting sound of feedback through the amps. Kakashi covered his ears and spun around in time to catch the band taking their positions onstage.

The singer set down a six-pack next to his mic and yanked one can of beer free from it. He held it sideways in his hand, pulled out a kunai, and stabbed it in the middle before bringing the punctured hole to his mouth.

“Tenzō! Tenzō! Tenzō!” The crowd chanted while he shotgunned the beer and cheered when he crushed the empty can against his head. He grabbed the microphone in front of him when his large, almond eyes made bigger by copious amounts of black eyeliner landed on Kakashi.

“What the fu —” He roared, launching himself off the stage, tackling Kakashi to the ground.

Even though he was a classic lit teacher, Kakashi held his own for a long time in a fight against a bar full of punks until he took one bottle to the head too many and woke up in the alley next to the bar.

“Hey,” Kakashi winced as he turned his head to see who spoke to him, already recognizing that voice and feeling a little happier than concussed. “You okay?”

“I think so,” Kakashi muttered, “thanks, Mr. Crybaby.”

“It’s Obito,” the other man laughed, “and you’re welcome, Mr. Metalhead.”

“I didn’t fool you for a second, did I?” Kakashi licked at his fattened, split bottom lip, hoping he looked like he deserved sympathy. “I’m Kakashi, by the way.”

Obito snickered and pressed a bag of ice against Kakashi’s head. “I figured you didn’t quite know what you walked into, wearing a ROOT t-shirt to an ANBU gig.”

“What was that all about?”

“Tenzō used to be the drummer for that band, but he had a big blow-up with their manager, Danzō, so he quit and formed his own band. There’s a lot of bad blood there.”

Kakashi looked down, embarrassed, not knowing what to say and feeling like a total idiot.

“Why did you come to the bar?” Obito asked quietly.

Kakashi sighed through his nose. If he learned anything that night, it was that honesty probably came with less violence. “You.”

“Me?” Obito asked, even more timidly.

“Yeah,” Kakashi glanced up at him. “You passed me on the street, and, I… I just had to meet you,” he felt a little like a weirdo admitting it out loud, but he was past the point of stopping now. “I dunno, I, I just had a feeling, and I didn’t want to let you slip away.”

“Me too,” Obito confided, lowering the bag of ice, and Kakashi peered at him through the eye that wasn’t swollen shut. “I was just about to run back out when you showed up at the door. I uh, I’m the sound guy here,” he tilted his head towards the bar, “and I was running late; otherwise, I would’ve stopped right there in the crosswalk. But when I saw the band was running late, I was about to go after you,” he ended with a shy smirk.

“You’re the sound guy?” Kakashi’s brain was turning to mush and it had nothing to do with how many blows he took to the face.

“Yeah, I, uh,” Obito brought the ice back up to Kakashi’s head, “I messed with their levels hoping the feedback would distract Tenzō long enough for you to get out of his line of sight, but,” he grimaced.

“You wanna go for a drink with me?” Kakashi mumbled, knowing he couldn’t embarrass himself anymore that night.

Obito chuckled at him and held up his hand. “How many fingers do you see?”

Kakashi focused on the fingers in front of his face. “Three?”

Obito laughed louder and stood up, “Wrong.” He helped Kakashi to his feet, “Looks like Konoha ER is our first date.”

[yeselbeethings]

konoha’s sublime green beast

10 relationship headcanons for Might Guy

pairing: might guy x reader

a/n: similar vibe to the last relationship headcanons - any suggestions for who to do next would be appreciated. 

synopsis: a few tender moments, scenes from your relationship with Guy

warnings: nsfw content for the last few: general sex, fingering, oral.. the standard

The first time you meet Might Guy, you are stunned to silence. He sits with you and the other jōnin at the local bar and shares stories and you are completely hooked. Everything about him entrances you; his vibrancy, the way he speaks, the jumpsuit, the body, the size of his hands... he's so bright and youthful? Anko is the first to spot you staring, and when she drags you to help her at the bar with drinks, she says "oh yeah, Guy is a bit weird, we should have warned you", and in your tipsy state you remember replying "I dunno, he seems kind of cool?" You spend the rest of the night trying to catch his eye and striking up conversations. A few weeks later, he asks you on your first date, and your shoulders shake with laughter when you accept and he cheers something about youth.

Guy goes through his signature jumpsuits at an alarming pace. Sometimes they rip straight through the middle of the crotch, other times they wear through at the thighs, more often than not they simply succumb to the general wear and tear of being a ninja. You take lurid green jumpsuits that develop rips on the arms from being snagged on trees, and thus are no use to Guy anymore, and repurpose them. You cut the top section off and cut the leg just above the knees and wear them around the house with oversized t-shirts and sweatshirts. The upcycled shorts become part of your casual day off outfit, and you take to wearing them when you need to run errands around the village. It’s only right to carry on the Might family tradition in your own way.

Guy loves poetry, so much so it has seeped into his general way of speaking - most people just think it’s his odd turn of phrase, but you know it’s from years and years of devouring any poetry he can get his hands on - especially after Duy’s death. Your tiny shared apartment is filled with poetry books, from every village and spanning centuries. Guy needs reading glasses and has done since his teen years - he can read mission scrolls etc. with little trouble but if he needs or wants to read for more than a few minutes he takes out the gold-rimmed round glasses that live in a basket full of odd bits and pieces that don’t have a true home in the apartment and slips them on. He pushes his hair from his forehead slightly and lies down on the floor to settle into the latest thing he’s picked to read. He keeps a small battered red leather-bound book on his nightstand; it’s a second-hand copy of a collection of Warring States era poetry. Guy scribbles in the margins of all his books, but this one is littered with annotations and underlinings. On rainy nights, while you rest your head on his broad bare chest, Guy will hold you close and read a poem or two from this book to you. Uncharacteristically quiet, measured, and serious, his voice is like honey. When he goes away on long missions, you’ll often find a note resting on top of the book with a page number and line number written on it, you know to save peaking at that passage for a particularly hard moment, when you wish his gentle voice and inspiring words were there to comfort you.

One of the major challenges of being in a relationship with Might Guy is the sheer volume of food he consumes. His strict training regime and huge energy output mean that Guy eats up to 14 meals a day; all carefully nutritionally balanced. So much of both of your free time is dedicated to bulk cooking, preparing bento boxes, dehydrating fruit and vegetables, boiling eggs, steaming fish... Guy appreciates every second you put into helping him with his training and diet. Whenever you both have a free day in the village he hand writes you a note and leaves it in the kitchen with a cup of fresh coffee resting on top inviting you to dinner. Guy always chooses the most comfortable places, with home-style food and free-flowing sake and beers. He insists you order anything and everything you want, reminding you to leave room for dessert. He holds your hand over sticky tables, wearing a T-shirt and standard-issue jōnin trousers, smiling at you widely as you share dumplings and scallion pancakes dripping with black vinegar and chili oil. When you leave the restaurant, completely full, he pulls you into his arms and kisses you deeply, a large tanned hand on the back of your head and his other pulling you into him by the small of your back. You don’t know what makes you feel drunker; the sake, the food, or the depth of his kiss.

After your first few dates, you promised to cook for Guy at your apartment. Already knowing his love of curry, you silently vowed to yourself that you would wean him off that S&B curry roux blocks he always seemed to be purchasing when you ran into him in the village. The first time you cooked him a curry, he leant his hip against your kitchen cabinet, sipping a jasmine tea, and with rapt attention listened to you explain which different spices you'd be using for the curry paste. Guy would explain the medicinal uses for each one as you measured them out, all of them known to him already due to his extensive herbal medicine knowledge. This is the moment you knew that you'd fallen in love, listening to Guy explain to you that to activate the medicinal properties of turmeric, you'd need some fresh black pepper, with Guy showing you the best time to add garlic to preserve the allicin to ward off colds. While he explained to you all the properties, you told him what would work together and what wouldn't, to ensure that the finished curry paste would actually taste delicious and not just be a mash of flavours and chili. When your relationship deepened and you eventually came to share an apartment, a weekly curry night for Team 10 emerged, with Neji, Tenten and Lee sat around your large dining table, eating whatever curry you'd made that week. You sit there, smiling, as Guy explains how each component in the curry will help them become even more splendid shinobi.

At some point, you acquired a small turtle-shaped chalkboard, that hangs from a red ribbon on the handle of one of the kitchen cabinets. In the back of your mind, you think it was originally for reminders, but somewhere along the way, it got commandeered to record the results of Kakashi and Guy's challenges. You remember searching the rubble after Pain's attack to find it, sifting through tattered pages and broken ceramics in the vague hopes that it would be intact enough to save.

It is Hana Inuzuka who holds you tight around the stomach when you see the sky fill red during the 4th Shinobi War. Years ago, Guy had told you that he believed the time would come when he would eventually open the eight gate and that he would become Konoha’s red beast. he told you what would happen, from what he had gathered from the limited research on the topic. That he would burn hot as the sun and his body would disintegrate and he would fill the atmosphere as hot ash. You had sat in stunned silence at the man’s resolve and acceptance. Hana’s firm grip was suffocating around your stomach, and you could feel the eyes of members of the allied forces staring at you as you struggled, screaming. When the Infinite Tsukuyomi takes hold of you, you dream of chubby babies wearing green with pitch-black hair and iron grips, and a sweet uncle with white eyes and flowing clothes.

After the war and Guy’s discharge from the hospital, you find yourselves lost in your relationship. Guy becomes a shadow of himself, constantly encouraging you to leave, to let him wallow in peace, and for a brief few moments, you let yourself think that you could. The strain is unbearable at times, Guy considering himself unable to be your partner and you unable to reach the lightest parts of him. It is the 6th Hokage, Kakashi Hatake’s arrival on your doorstep, a new turtle chalkboard in hand that begins to turn the tide of Guy’s grief, and the pain in your relationship. Each week, Kakashi arrives for tea, and each week he issues a new challenge. It takes 6 months until Guy caves and agrees to go along with the rock paper scissors battle. He wins, 50-47. You mark the turtle chalkboard. Guy: 1, Lord 6th: 0. It hangs in your bedroom, and slowly the board becomes a mottled grey, with old chalk stains and the ghost of numbers. Guy begins training with Rock Lee again. He begins reading poetry again. His appetite climbs and climbs, and in the darkness of the night, he holds your hands and tells you he’s so so grateful you stayed - you are too.

Guy loves giving you head. He licks short wide tongued across your clit repeatedly and waits to hear your breath hitch and feel your hips twitching before he switches his tactic, enveloping your whole clit into his mouth and humming deeply as he licks and sucks, his bottom jaw rhythmically moving until your moans become deeper and longer, his hands pressing your hips into the bed. He loves it when you card your hands through his hair and grind into him. Sometimes he lets you cum like this, hips rising to meet his mouth and your fingers grasping at the sheets crying out his name, other times he edges you by drawing you closer and closer to your climax and allowing two fingers to slowly stretch you out in time with the licks of his tongue. He stops when you’re beginning to feel the pleasurable heat build and build and throws your legs up, moving quickly and lining himself up with your entrance and thrusting into you before your pleasure completely dissipates. He fucks you, giving himself a moment of relief before stopping to continue where he had stopped moments before, head between your legs and eyes looking up at you, dark and heavy, watching your chest brace and your muscles tense, pushing you over the edge in a few minutes, switching back to being inside you before the waves of pleasure have subsided so he can feel the clenching of your muscles around him and bring you quickly over the edge for a second time.

Even within your relationship, Guy has set himself personal challenges. When he is thrusting into you, or his fingers are deep inside you while his thumb rubs circles over your clit and your mouth hangs open, gasping and your hair is sticking to your face as you groan underneath him, overstimulated and hazy, he leans down and whispers into your ear - one more, okay? give me one more.

[depressedkakashihatake-fics]

Second Attempt

Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai

1297 words

Follow up to First try 

              Date number one had been a success. Not perfect, thanks to Gai having to show up in uniform after an interruption from Asuma, but good.

              So good that at the end of the night as he was leaving Kakashi’s apartment, Gai asked him out on a second date. This time with a promise that neither of them would have to cook and that he would make sure that he wasn’t wearing his uniform.

              Kakashi’s voice cracking when he said ‘yes’ had been the cause of a lot of embarrassment over the next few days. Partially because he couldn’t forget the way Gai’s face had lit up with laughter, and partially because Gai had apparently decided to tell all of their friends about the night they had. Including that terrible moment.

              Asuma and Genma seemed to enjoy this information the most, teasing him relentlessly about making curry for his date with Gai and about the ‘cracking voice of doom’. Though, their teasing seemed like nothing compared to Anko.

              But that was all in the past now.

              Today was his chance to do things differently. To make sure everything was so perfect that their friends would be too jealous to make fun of him.

              Which is why he had decided not only to take out his favorite Yukata, but also to let Kurenai have a shot at taming his hair.

              It hadn’t worked out well at all, and after two hours of trying he owed Kurenai a bottle of sake for the emotional trauma and three new hairbrushes.

              The last thing he chose to do in an attempt to make tonight’s date a little mor memorable, was going out without his mask on. It was supposed to be a nice gesture for Gai. A night where he didn’t hide his face away from the world, just so Gai could see it a bit longer. Know that he was trying to be completely open to him in every way.

              Five minutes out on the streets of Konoha, and he was already starting to regret that choice. Every person that he passed by was staring at him and most of them weren’t even trying to hide it.

              This is why he always wore his mask. People didn’t know how to mind their own damn business.

              Thankfully, the sushi place Gai had said to meet him at was just up the street. It wouldn’t be long before he could hide away at a nice table and focus only on that beautiful, smiling face that he loved so much.

              Just the thought of seeing Gai made him forget about all of the people around him. Trying to go about his days, doing missions and training, had been a grueling experience since their first date. His mind was always on Gai, no matter what he was doing.

              Gai’s smile.

              His laugh.

              The smell of sweat and Dango that always seemed to linger around him.

              Finally, the sushi restraint came into view in the distance, and the first thing Kakashi noticed was a familiar green hanfu he had seen Gai wear more times than he could count.

              Gai’s favorite choice of outfit for a nice night out, and one of Kakashi’s favorite things to see him in.

              For once, excitement got the best of him, sending him flying forward to Gai’s side. It was actually kind of funny seeing Gai act like he hadn’t just scared him shitless by showing up at his side with no warning.

              “Hi,” giving Gai his best smiled he tucked his hands into the small pockets of his yukata. “You look…amazing.”

              He had meant to compliment Gai, but his words were met with a look of displeasure, causing him to panic. Had he said it wrong? Did he accidently insult Gai when he meant to flatter him?

              “I’m sorry, do I know you?” Panic gave way to a sense of crushing disappointment. Gai’s prosopagnosia had always been strong, but he hadn’t thought he would forget him of all people. “I-I don’t mean to be rude, but I am waiting for someone.”               Well at least he knew that Gai was loyal. Though, that was actually one of the only things he had never worried about. There wasn’t a disloyal bone in Gai’s body.

              “I know you’re waiting for someone,” a small, playful smile tugged at his lips. “He took forever to get ready for tonight. So desperate to make a good impression, he probably looks like a stranger to you.”

              “I…excuse me?” Gai’s face morphed into confusion. “Do you know where he is? He’s ten minutes late, which is actually normal for him…”

              Only ten minutes? He had worried himself over nothing. An hour was usually minimum for him, but today was sort of a special case so he could forgive himself for being early.

              “How about this,” stepping past Gai he headed straight for the door. “I’ll tell you where he is if you buy me a drink. Deal?” He turned around to face Gai once more, wanting to see his reaction to the proposal.

              “I really shouldn’t be going in with someone else,” somehow he was even more adorable when he was turning him down. Though, it most likely had to do with the fact that he was turning him down for…him.

              There was no logic to his feelings, that was for sure.

              “Well, have it your way,” turning towards the door once again he headed inside, making sure to throw back a playful “See you inside, Turtle.”

              The sound of sputtering followed him into the restraint, accompanied by a very annoyed “Kakashi!”

              All he could do when Gai’s arms clasped down around his chest and pulled him back into a crushing hug, was laugh.

              Not the way he had thought their date tonight would start, but somehow no less perfect. Maybe because it was Gai and everything he did was perfect in Kakashi’s eyes by default.

              Or maybe because Kakashi really was a ‘troll’ like Kurenai said, and he actually enjoyed messing with people whenever the opportunity presented itself.

              “I knew you’d figure it out,” he smiled back at Gai. “Took you a second, but you got there.”

              “There’s only one man in all of Konoha who thinks ‘Turtle’ is a good nickname,” Rude. Turtle was a great nickname and he planned to use it until the day he died. “You look amazing.”

              “So good you could hardly recognize me?” He expects Gai to tell him to ‘shut it’ or pinch him in the side. Both very common responses Gai has to his teasing.

              Instead, Gai leaned in close and pressed a tender kiss to his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

              “Sometimes I forget that there is a beautiful face hidden under that mask.” This. This is why he had left his mask at home tonight. Compliments that would cause him to cringe from anyone else, make him blush when they come from Gai.

              He still hasn’t decided if it’s because Gai’s just that good with words or if it’s a result of him being completely and undeniably in love with Konoha’s sublime green beast.

              In his personal opinion, it’s a terrifying and effective mixture of both.

              “Come on,” sliding out of Gai’s hold he turned to face his date and smiled. “Maybe if you’re nice to me tonight, I’ll agree to a date night challenge.”

              The way Gai’s face lights up tells him that He’ll definitely find himself doing some sort of challenge now. It would be impossible for him to turn down such an adorable face. In fact, for once he can’t wait to see what type of challenge Gai come’s up with.

              It has to be amazing to be considered date night worthy, and Gai’s always so creative when it comes to their competitions.

[rengonemad]

Marked by Lightning

This is for @lazarusii over at the Umino Hours Discord, for the 90-minute Halloween Exchange! I hope you like it! >.<

Pairing: KakaIru Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2.2k Tags: Romance, Japanese Mythology, Alternate Universe, Uh... mild.... spookiness?? Monsters, I don’t know

At the age of ten, Iruka had spent nearly as much time in the forests of Konoha as he had his own home. He hated sitting still, being confined. He spent hours stripping back and peeling tinder, then more hours attempting to light it with the only fire seal he knew. He practiced with his mother’s shuriken on the trees behind their house and climbed barefoot to retrieve them, rough bark scraping against the soles of his feet, forming calluses and scrapes that his father would pour medicinal cleanser over, stinging far worse than the wound itself. 

It never stopped Iruka from going out again. 

Sometimes, he went further than he should have.

At a certain point, the woods north-east of Konoha’s walls shifted, from soft conifers into looming evergreens and beeches that had never been cleared by man’s hand. They grew so thick around that Iruka didn’t think five of him would be able to quite reach around the bases. On one fallen trunk, he counted over a hundred rings before losing his place. 

There was another difference in the trees outside of Konoha: 

Some of them were scarred. 

Iruka had seen pine trees damaged by hurricanes before. He had seen branches stripped thin of leaves and twigs, broken limbs dangling for a few days before crashing down to the earth.

These scars were different. 

They ran lengthwise down the tree’s trunks, splitting through the bark and inches into the wood. Some of the scars were blackened—Iruka imagined they were darkened by the sun in the same way that his own scar had been—but others were a dull crimson, a shade like blood or lava peering through a crevasse. When he was ten, Iruka snuck his fingers inside one, wiggling until he could reach the innards. 

They burned. 

Iruka hissed and jerked back, scraping his knuckles raw against the bark. It was barely a sting in comparison to the blisters morphing his fingerprints. They throbbed in time with his heartbeat.

He crouched to the ground, ripping up a piece of moss and pressing it to the overheated skin. It did little to soothe the ache, but he clutched it tight his entire walk home. He didn’t stop walking, even as the sun set and he could barely see anything but his own feet and the occasional, glowing embers within massive oaks. 

There were trees marked in different ways, too—ones whose limbs had exploded, bark splaying like water frozen from a hose. A few, a very few, were cleaved in half. Each side dipped, bowing towards the ground, until their stumps rotted and gravity dragged them down at last. 

Those trees never survived.

Iruka’s father said that the others, the red ones, had been struck by lightning. He told Iruka that eventually the embers would cool into ash and the trees would grow around the wound, sealing their dead cells into themselves to use as nourishment for what still lived.

That, or they rotted into mulch. 

“How long do they stay hot after a storm?” 

His father hesitated. He paused in sharpening his kunai, looking out the window unseeingly, a deep furrow between his brows. “I’m not sure. A day, perhaps.” 

Iruka bit his lip rather than argue, but he knew that wasn’t true; no storm clouds had darkened Konoha’s skies for the last two weeks.

 Four days later, something scorched the trees again. Iruka didn’t touch them that time, but he flexed his healing hand, felt the taut pull of new skin, and wondered. 

By the time Iruka heard about the Raijū, his parents were no longer alive for him to ask. 

It was Anko who first described it to him: a huge wolf, with silver fur that gleamed blue with the shroud of living lightning that surrounded it. She said she heard it howl the night before the Kyuubi attack. Her father had called it the Raijū, told her to never go outside during a thunderstorm and to always sleep on her belly on dark nights. 

She said that the trees weren’t struck by lightning, but scratched by the Raijū’s claws.

Iruka didn’t know about any of that—but he sat outside during the next storm, all the same, curling up under the branches of an evergreen. A rivulet of rain water trickled down from the matte leaves, onto the crown of Iruka’s head. He shivered from his scalp to his toes, drawing his legs in tight as mud began to soak into his pants. 

Eventually, he must have fallen asleep. 

When he awoke, dawn was approaching, and electric static lingered in the air. 

He had dreamt of a thousand chirping birds, and an eye as dark as the midnight sky. 

He didn’t try to meet the Raijū again.

It had been over a decade since Iruka had last been caught out in a thunderstorm. It wasn’t a nostalgic experience. Instead of huddling into a ball and waiting for lightning to strike, he was running for home. Rain beat the ground around him, but his heartbeat drowned out the sound. His sandals skidded on the slick moss that coated the trees. The chakra he channeled to the souls of his feet kept him from sliding him off, giving him the traction necessary to propel himself forward again. 

The storm must have been travelling from Konoha: Iruka hadn’t seen a single cloud when he set back towards home. He would have stayed in town if he had, maybe gotten a cheap room at the local hot spring. As much as Iruka hated to admit it, Naruto leaving to train with Jiraiya had it’s good points—namely, that Iruka was no longer spending a fifth of his paychecks on ramen each week.

Now, it was too late to go back. He couldn’t outrun the storm, and he was just barely closer to Konoha than his origin. His best bet was to power through it, coming out on the other side soaked, but with less time in the forest and storm than if he tried to find shelter and failed.

He had never been scared of lightning.

It was a fine plan—until he felt at least a dozen chakra signatures pop to life in the east. 

They were all grouped together, like a conglomerate of shinobi had been scooped up and teleported to the soggiest corner of the Land of Fire. Or, like a bunch of shinobi had been concealing their presences and then swooped in for an ambush. 

That one was slightly more likely. 

Iruka slowed to a halt, closing his eyes and focusing on the distance between them. He had a decent chance of getting away unnoticed if he curved directly west. It was the logical choice: his likelihood of taking on a dozen enemies and surviving was too close to nil for comfort, and he couldn’t bet on the majority of them being Konoha shinobi. 

However… given the territory, their proximity to home—there almost certainly was a few comrades among them. If they were running the ambush then Iruka could make things far worse by attempting to interfere in a battle strategy of which he had no part. 

But if they were overpowered—or if they were the victims—

There was really no choice at all.

Cloaking his chakra as best he could, Iruka dropped to lower branches and finally to the forest floor. A giant clap of thunder sounded and a stunning white bolt lit up the sky, casting the canopy in sharp relief. The trunks and leaves this low down hid Iruka in enough shadow that it was his best bet for making it to the scuffle unannounced.

He was only a few hundred yards away, throat tight and muscle tensed, when he felt the pinpoints of chakra begin to flicker.

One by one, they were snuffed out.

Within thirty seconds, only one remained.

Iruka had already unlatched his kunai’s holster. His right hand hovered by it. A cold chill ran from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet. 

This time, it wasn’t due to the rain.

The air felt charged, the atmosphere crackling around him and bursting in his eardrums like static. It was so loud, so unnerving, so intense—that he hardly noticed the chakra signature move towards him.

Then, he noticed. 

He noticed, because just through the copse of trees, in a small clearing, moonlight filtered through the trees and cast its light on silver fur and blue lightning. 

For a moment, Iruka couldn’t breathe. His fingers convulsed around the hilt of his kunai, gripping it tightly enough that his knuckles cracked, but he could move nothing else. The giant wolf stared back at him, one eye of crimson and another darker than midnight. 

Iruka blinked, and the wolf was gone.

 The silver and crimson and darkness all remained. 

Kakashi’s hair was drenched by the rain, plastered to his face and neck, but Iruka thought he could see bright red washing away with the water. It soaked into his flak vest, turning the olive green to rust. His normal gloves were reduced to tattered strips of cloth dripping from his wrists, metal guards gone. Long, thick fingernails drew from the nail beds like claws.

Iruka nearly laughed hysterically as he thought, “maybe that’s why he only wears fingerless.” 

Fortunately, the last difference from the Kakashi that Iruka liked to think he knew… it was enough to cut off any potential humor at the jugular.

The mask was gone. 

The light stubble over his chin would have been invisible if not for the streak of blood that oozed from a slit across one high cheekbone, painting the follicles crimson. Torn fabric bunched underneath Kakashi’s angular jaw, and a small blemish marked just below the corner of thin lips.

Behind the lips, which were slightly parted—perhaps saying something that couldn’t force its way into Iruka’s fogged mind—were sharp, prominent canines, hand-crafted as if by a master, borne to rend flesh and breach vulnerable arteries. 

Blood stained each fang. 

The storm raged on. Water clumped Iruka’s eyelashes and trickled into his eyes. He blinked it away, but the scene before him didn’t change.

Now, he knew that the scents of salt and ozone, the charge that set even damp hairs on end and broke out gooseflesh along Iruka’s arms—they weren’t the storm. 

The Raijū was real. 

Kakashi took a step forward. 

Iruka couldn’t move. His body was frozen, muscles locked as if in rigor mortis. He would have thought it was the power of the Sharingan if not for the fact that it was closed. The eyelid over it was split down the center, large gash extending from his brow to his cheek. It still glowed an angry shade, even after how many years it had been rumored to exist. 

Iruka imagined it as a strike of lightning—burning embers in a dying tree.

Kakashi’s expression was no more readable without the mask, or perhaps the differences merely distracted from any emotion that might have been displayed. Iruka could tell there was something, burning within his core, swirling in a dark iris, but he couldn’t name it. It was a taste, on the tip of his tongue and sliding down his throat to settle in his stomach. 

Iruka swallowed it all, drinking in every inch of Kakashi’s features even as the man—wolf—demon—approached. Carefully, steadily. 

Kakashi reached him. He raised a hand. It hovered over Iruka’s collarbone, curved talons inches from his throat and the pulse that pounded in it. 

Iruka remembered those hands. 

He remembered that hand brushing his at the mission desk, remembered the bit of static that always seemed to jump between them. He remembered watching those fingers as they grasped a lurid orange cover. He remembered watching them curl around a glass, condensation dripping down them, and remembered wishing it was Iruka who felt their touch instead.

Now, if Kakashi touched him—he felt as though he would be seared to the bone, with a long red scar that would spell his death or his future. Either way, Kakashi could carve through Iruka and hollow his insides, replacing them with molten heat that would soon burn to ash. 

"I didn't take you for the type to freeze in fear, Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi murmured. 

Slowly, Iruka dragged his gaze from the lethal claw, from ivory canines. He met Kakashi’s stare. He had to swallow several times before he could find his voice, rough as though he’d been inhaling smoke. "I'm not."

Kakashi’s features barely shifted. There was no difference that Iruka could discern; perhaps it was only the flash of lightning illuminating Kakashi in stark white which made the ghostly apparition of the wolf flicker in Iruka’s vision once more. Perhaps it was Iruka’s own reflection which made Kakashi’s eye seem guarded—as if Iruka were the one readying to spring an attack.

As if Iruka had the power to do damage if he did. 

"Then why are you still here?"

Over Kakashi’s shoulder, Iruka could see an ancient oak, nearly split in two. Its bark peeled from the superheated spot as if it could retract from the claw which had seared it. 

Iruka remembered years of subtle touches to skin and cloth, moments that Iruka would have never known existed if they hadn’t made his blood sing and his mind fill with static. Electricity. Lightning.

Iruka remembered a thousand birds and a dark eye—a dream that had always been real. 

“I’m about to find out.”

Iruka leaned forward. Their lips met at the same moment that Kakashi’s palm—claws and all—met Iruka’s throat.

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 7 impressions

Previously: 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

In real world Halloween might have been a month ago, but in the world of Is The Order a Rabbit it’s exactly the season for all things spooky. And maybe things become a little too supernatural for a slice of life show. In the last episode we’ve seen how BLOOM symbolizes the growth of the characters. And as we enter the second half of the season, another meaning is revealed...

But first let’s visit Ama Usa An, where horror-loving Chiya is decorating the traditional Japanese teahouse for Halloween. Since Halloween is decidedly not a traditional Japanese holiday, it looks kinda surreal, but Chiya’s grandmother is more worried about souls of the dead coming back to life, especially that of Chino’s grandfather (see season 2 episode 9 for more of their backstory). Of course the soul of Chino’s grandfather isn’t actually dead, but is inhabiting the body of a rabbit. It’s not clear how exactly this happened and Cocoa might have been involved.

Speaking of Cocoa, we see her practicing with the magic set she bought in the first episode of the season. She tries to make something appear in her hand, but nothing happens. Clearly you can’t just learn to summon matter into existence in Gochiusa world, or can you? Anyway the shot focuses on a candy laying on a table before the opening sequence cuts in. This must be the object Cocoa has tried to summon and it’s also clearly a foreshadowing for something.

Meanwhile, Maya and Megu are trick-or-treating in matching werewolf(?) outfits hoping to score some free candy. Interestingly the tradition of giving out candy on Halloween has descended from a medieval practice of sharing so-called “soul cakes” which represented the souls of the dead.

Meanwhile the staff of Rabbit House are dressed as vampires. The theme of vampires fighting werewolves brings up to mind the Twilight series although I’m sure the idea came up many times throughout history. If you look closer, you’ll notice that Cocoa, Rize and Megu have fake fangs (I think Maya’s is natural), although they’re not consistently drawn between scenes, even though in the manga they’re drawn correctly. Maybe they’ll fix this in BD. The only one whose fang is not shown is Chino, and ironically she is the one who actually bites somebody.

Also the flashback of Chino “roaring” at the mirror reminded me of the scene from Celestial Method where Noel (also voiced by Minase Inori) roars at a dinosaur standee. To be fair it sounds completely different but I just can’t help but compare them.

Also while I was browsing through my copy of volume 6 I found a cute illustration card that seems to be relevant to this episode, but includes Mocha and Cocoa as the wolves and Chino as the vampire (here’s a highres version).

I think I bought this particular volume in Japan on the day it was released. Good times...

Next MaMe go to Fleur de Lapin and are greeted by Sharo dressed as Little Red Riding Hood (bunny version). This costume appeared earlier in an illustration for the rabbit chapter from the previous episode.

This is also a rare scene where other employees of Fleur de Lapin can be seen, as usually Sharo is shown working there alone. Even in the manga, Sharo is the only employee shown in this scene. In the end it turns out that Sharo is a wolf in disguise and craving for some meat. Which is weird because Sharo hasn’t been shown eating or cooking any meat before.

Anyway, next stop is Ama Usa An, which is called the Witch’s Mansion now. Chiya mentions the beginning of the Sabbath, and the manga chapter’s title 今宵は甘兎サバト also mentions the Sabbath. This might be confusing because in Judaism and Christianity the Sabbath is the day of rest and happens weekly (on Saturday or Sunday). However since we’re talking about witches, this actually references the Wiccan concept of sabbat, or one of eight festivals in the Wiccan calendar. In particular, Samhain, one of the four Greater Sabbats pretty much coincides with Halloween and celebrates the beginning of winter.

Chiya does this thing where the protagonist’s hand hurts only to awaken their dark powers, I’m not really sure where this trope comes from but I’ve seen it referenced in anime before and it’s a common chuunibyo stereotype. In this case, Chiya did really just hurt her hand. There’s also some sort of runic circle drawn on her bandages, but if you look closer it says shiratama anmitsu matcha parfait in hiragana.

Maya and Megu agree to help Chiya, and become her “familiars”. Even though familiars are better known as a video game mechanic today (which is what the “level up” scene references), witches were associated with familiar spirits since medieval times. A familiar often took form of a small animal, such as a cat. Unfortunately MaMe don’t even know which animal they are, so clearly they didn’t take their backstory as seriously as Chiya did. Their ears and tails look canine to me, so I can see Megu being a fox spirit, but Maya being a cat is less believable. Also during their confrontation Megu confirms that Maya’s fang is her yaeba (snaggle tooth).

As a revenge for the trick MaMe pulled on her, Chiya gives them a selection of pumpkin tarts, one of which is laced with wasabi (which she calls ”Russian roulette”). This seems like a common thing for her, since she did the same with botamochi in season 2 episode 6, and with green tea in season 2 episode 7 (except she used aojiru instead of wasabi). However this time, it was Chiya’s grandmother who put wasabi in two of the tarts, unbeknownst to Chiya. By the way in the manga it wasn’t shown that Chiya got one of the wasabi tarts.

Chiya goes shopping for some pumpkins, but is helped by Rize, and later Sharo gives her anti-pain medications, reminding her of how Chiya tended for her when she was sick in season 1 episode 12. It’s not mentioned in the anime, but Rize also had a “motivation” for helping Chiya, as she hurt her leg before (see season 2 episode 2). Chiya invites Rize and Sharo to dinner and brings up the wasabi-laced pumpkin tarts. According to Chiya the probability of getting wasabi is 1/3. Initially there were 7 tarts, of which 2 had wasabi. Megu, Maya and Chiya eat one each, with Chiya’s having wasabi in it. That leaves 4 tarts with 1 wasabi, so either Chiya’s calculation is incorrect, or somebody ate one more tart.

Apparently last day was just a warm up to Halloween (All Hallow’s Eve’s Eve?), so next day Megu and Maya come to Chiya again and try to summon something. A larger and slightly different version of the runic circle previously seen on Chiya’s hand starts glowing and we see that the 3 white rabbits correspond to three people holding hands. There’s also Anko corresponding to the black rabbit in the middle. By the way, in the manga the sign on Chiya’s hand was just a hexagram, and the summoning ritual didn’t have any visible symbols.

Anyway, they want to summon a messenger from demon world/hell, and coincidentally Cocoa and Chino come in (dressed as vampires) and try to attack (cuddle) them. Chiya, Maya and Megu form New Chimame-tai which works because Chiya and Chino have the same first syllable. However Chi is written with kanji instead of katakana in this version (because Chiya’s name 千夜  is one of the few given names among Gochiusa characters that’s always written with kanji). This defeats Chino, and Chiya consoling Chino like a big sister defeats Cocoa as well.

Ok let’s move on to part B, which is the really important part of the episode. The streets of the town are filled with people dressed in various costumes. Cocoa’s classmates can be seen among the crowd, and Aoyama and Rin are enjoying a boat ride on River Sanzu.

Our main character have also prepared some new costumes for the occasion. First we see Chino, dressing up as Phantom Thief Lapin, while Rize is going as a police officer. Soon Chiya and Sharo join them, who somehow independently of each other also went with a Lapin costume. At least Sharo had a good excuse. For Chiya, Lapin’s gloves obscure the bandage on her hand, so maybe that’s why she chose this costume. But what about Cocoa?

Well, she kinda got lost and we find her at the location that you will recognize if you read my episode 5 review. Cocoa says it looks a little different than usual, almost like a different world (isekai). Well, there’s a lot of evidence to support this hypothesis. First, in a scene that parallels episode 1, Cocoa finds a lost child and tries to calm her down with a magic trick. However you might notice that the child’s head is literally a pumpkin with a moving mouth.

And her mother is also a pumpkinhead. Cocoa doesn’t encounter any other people during this segment, even though you’d think a spot that overlooks the town like this would be quite popular. Well, she does encounter one more person, a mysterious masked magician with an angora rabbit on her head. She also wears a G-clef pendant indicating some sort of music connection.

Now, since y’all had already watched the episode, it wouldn’t be a spoiler to say that this is the ghost of Chino’s mother, Saki. The rabbit on her head is the ghost of the original Tippy before its body was taken over by Chino’s grandfather. The original Tippy was a female rabbit, by the way, a fact established early on in the series. In Sing for You OVA (for which I wrote a not-very-detailed review by the way) it’s established that Saki was a singer and even had a record released.

Anyway, as a ghost, Saki doesn’t speak (although she still can giggle and such) and doesn’t physically interact with Cocoa (only indirectly, by casting candies at Cocoa). Nevertheless she does teach Cocoa how to do the candy trick correctly.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group tries to call Cocoa’s phone but she doesn’t answer. This is another evidence for isekai theory. Cocoa is just out of range, you see. Rize and Sharo swap their costumes (the most unrealistic part of the episode) and Sharo starts “policing” the Lapins on how the real Lapin would talk. Chiya has a bright idea to shout out for Cocoa and call her big sister. However Cocoa would obviously only react if Chino calls her that, so Rize encourages Chino to say it louder (referencing her training for the choir in Sing for You).

Cocoa and Saki hear Chino, and Saki looks at her daughter from the terrace. Chino also looks up... but doesn’t see anything. She does get a hunch that there’s something up there though, so the group finds Cocoa eventually. Meanwhile Saki feels like her time is up and makes for a quick exit, literally disappearing.

This is where Cocoa returns to the “real world”, as the current Tippy calls out for her. Why was Tippy with Cocoa anyway in the first place? Cocoa looks around and there are in fact lots of people there as expected.

Cocoa thinks that Tippy speaking is an evidence of a ghost, despite her interacting with a real ghost just a few moments before. The 3 Lapins arrive and start arguing who is the real Lapin. Chino says that it’s the one who gets away with everything in the end, implying she will take the whole Cocoa for herself. However Sharo arrests Cocoa for making everyone worry.

On the way back, Chiya recalls the legend which was also mentioned by her grandmother at the beginning of the episode about the spirits of the ancestors coming back for this one day and then returning to heavens. Chino looks up to the sky, while Tippy gives her a solace in the fact that he was once again turned away, implying that he expected to return to heaven with the other spirits.

Tippy also seemed to know what Cocoa was talking about in an earlier scene where Cocoa said she forgot to give thanks to somebody. Just what’s up with Tippy and why is he not allowed to enter Heaven is a big mystery here.

Cocoa also notices Chino being distressed and shows her the magic trick with the candy. It turns out Chino remembers this trick from her childhood, and we get to see a full flashback with Chino’s mother even getting a few speaking lines (delivered by none other but Nana Mizuki). Since the candy was probably a part of the magic set, it’s no coincidence that it has the exact same wrapper in the flashback. The color of the candy matches with Chino’s clothes at the time but you can also think of it as a combination of Saki’s white and Chino’s blue.

By the way, in the manga Cocoa conjures up two candies, and they have a plain wrapping so there wasn’t One Specific Candy like in the anime. Also in the flashback, Chino is carried by her grandfather. His face is not shown, but Takahiro is seen in the background (with Rize’s dad) so by exclusion it had to be him. And in the current scene Chino is the one carrying Tippy like this.

The episode ends with Cocoa asking Chino to tell her more about her mother, while a star is seen rising in the sky, presumably symbolizing Saki’s spirit.

Let’s go back to Cocoa meeting Saki scene one more time. Like I explained, it’s heavily implied that Cocoa isn’t really in the same world as the other characters when she meets Saki’s ghost. Of course Gochiusa had supernatural elements from the start, such as a certain talking rabbit who happens to be Chino’s grandfather. But now we have a ghost of Chino’s mother and Cocoa is the only one who can see her, but Chino can’t? Just what the heck is going on here?

But wait, there is a rational explanation for all of this! Cocoa had a hallucination triggered by all the Halloween celebrations. She imagines helping a lost child just like Chino did before (and told Cocoa about it later) and then imagines the ghost of Saki teaching her magic, because subconsciously she wants to be like Saki. She had seen Saki before on a photograph, but haven’t heard her speak, which is why the ghost can’t talk to her. Hearing Chino call her onee-chan brings Cocoa back to her senses. But how did Cocoa learn the trick if it was just her imagination? Well, consider the fact that she was practicing this exact trick at the beginning of the episode. By the time she shows it to Chino, she has already practiced it a lot of times, but maybe she only realized the crucial part (feint) during the hallucination. Either way, the blue striped candy wasn’t given to Cocoa by Saki, she had it from the start, as part of the magic set! The candies that Saki uses to show the trick to Cocoa all disappear when Cocoa returns to reality.

Saki appears one more time in the bar time scene with Takahiro, who is listening to her record Silver Spoon from Sing for You OVA and then calls her by name. I think this is the only time the name “Saki” is mentioned in the show itself, and it’s not mentioned in the manga at all (unless maybe in some recent chapters which I haven’t read yet). The first time it was revealed was during April Fool’s day Clockwork Rabbit event, as a solution to a “puzzle”. Her name is written in katakana as サキ, however one of possible readings of the word “saki” is 咲き which means “bloom”. Now consider how the last few seconds of the opening animation it cuts from a blooming field of dandelions to Saki:

The dandelions connection to Saki was previously seen in season 2 episode 1 and Sing for You. Saki’s character design doesn’t really say “blooming of dandelions” to me, but consider that a dandelion turns into this:

Now that’s more like it! Although it reminds me of Tippy as well. Anyway, that was a very mysterious episode of Gochiusa BLOOM and let’s see what happens next! Only 5 episodes remain...

[kusunogatari]

[ ObiRyū October | Day Ten | Trash ] [ @abyssaldespair ] [ Uchiha Obito, Suigin Ryū, Hatake Kakashi, Nohara Rin ] [ Verse: Medical Machine ] [ Alcohol, pregnancy ]

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Nibbling the scar in his lip in concentration, Obito carefully solders another wire into place. He’s almost got this project finished...just a few more, and he should be done!

“Oi! Obito!”

His shoulders deflate with a sigh as a hand knocks on his door. “...what?”

“We’re going out for drinks - you’ve been sitting in there all day! C’mon man, let’s go!”

“But I’m -!” He exhales curtly in frustration. “I’m almost done with -?”

“Dude, your little robot will still be there when we get back! I’m tired of having to drag you kicking and screaming out to socialize,” Kakashi argues through the door. “Asuma and Gai are ready to go, and we’re meeting Genma and the others! Just get out and get some fresh air for a few hours, all right? You’re freaking me out.”

Obito scowls, but knows better than to argue. His roommates tend to make his life difficult when they want something. If he appeases them now, it will give him more free time later. “All right, fine! Let me just...change real quick.” He’s wearing his tinkering clothes, which are singed and stained.

“You’ve got three minutes!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Pulling his shirt over his head, Obito makes quick work of shifting outfits, shoving his rather thin wallet into his back pocket before heading out to meet them.

It’s not that he doesn’t like going out. He loves a good evening with drinking and friends. But it just seems like any time the rest of them are free to do so, he’s trying to get some work done! Just once he’d like to have an evening to go uninterrupted and actually finish a project.

For Obito, you see, is a tinkerer. At least, that’s what those who aren’t into the hobby call it. Ever since the introduction and normalization of robotic tech and androids, it’s really taken off. And Obito just happened to have a knack for it. He’d make all sorts of little bots when he was growing up - mostly things to help his grandmother as an unspoken thank you for bringing him up. Then he joined the robotics club in high school, winning prizes and even money at building competitions.

Which then led to him quite obviously pursuing the field in college. While he had big dreams of helping with the latest generations of androids, he’s been mostly shuffled into smaller-scale, more basic projects.

Frustrating, to say the least.

Which is why, in his free time, he works on his own models and tech. Nothing to a full android scale, but he’s...working up to it. He often scavenges parts from dumps and learns about them that way, reverse engineering the broken parts and building up his pool of knowledge.

The thing is...he doesn’t know anyone else with the interest. Kakashi is smart, but doesn’t really care about robotics. He can listen and understand what Obito’s talking about, but the bored, glazed-over look he gets only discourages Obito from sharing his new excitement any time he makes a new discovery. And the rest of their friend group, well...they only go downhill from there.

So, he keeps it mostly to himself. Which earns him a little crap from his friends, given that it makes him a bit of a hermit in his room whenever he gets in deep with a new project to tinker with. But...he’s still glad they take the time to drag him out every so often.

He’d likely be taking the hobby to an unhealthy degree by now if they didn’t…

They go on foot, their apartment not too far from downtown and plenty to do. The bright lights of the city bear down on them, billboards and signs vying for their attention for any product under the sun. But Obito ignores them, milling with the others as they discuss the goings-on of their days, their weeks. Given the divide between his interests and theirs, Obito is more of a listener more of the time, but he doesn’t mind.

That’s what forums are for: he can type novels to his heart’s content on the subject, and other like-minded tinkerers can chime in and reciprocate.

The bar they slink into is familiar, the boisterous atmosphere a welcome change from the typical quiet of their apartment. Already there, others their age from college call out in greeting. Kurenai immediately latches onto Asuma, Yugao perched atop Hayate’s lap. Anko gives them all a grin, a tankard already in hand.

And Rin greets Kakashi with a kiss and a smile.

Obito ducks into his jacket collar furtively. While several of the others are also single, he’s still the most lagged-behind in terms of romance and experience.

Kakashi blames it on his hobby.

...and Obito really can’t deny it. There are women who involve themselves in the hobby, but sadly most tend to be a bit...distant given how flocked they get. And sure, Obito likes men too, but there just hasn’t been much of a connection beyond the hobby with anyone.

And all of his roommates are straight, sadly.

Taking a seat at one end of their sizable table, he agrees to a beer, sipping it as everyone settles in and relaxes. Obito observes, chiming in where he can but mostly letting his mind wander in the white noise of conversation to how he’s going to wrap up the bot left back home on his desk.

“Obitooo!”

A while into the night, he jostles as Rin sits next to him, flushed in the face from indulging in spirits. “...hey, Rin.”

Her lips pout. “What’s that for?”

“Heh?”

“You don’t sound very excited to see me,” she retorts.

“Sorry, er...was lost in thought.”

“You’re always thinking,” she teases, fixing some of his hair and making him balk. “Don’t you ever get, like...bored of it?”

Obito can’t help a snort. “Not really, no. That’s the thing about thinking: you can do just about anything with it.”

She listens with a rather spacy expression, then swiftly changes the subject. “Obito, you need a girlfriend.”

“Wh-?”

“Y’know, ‘kashi tells me about how much you just sit in your room...s’not healthy! You need to go out sometimes, right?”

“I do go out. I’m out right now!”

“And when was the last time you were out?”

His silence required to try and remember is telling.

“M’serious, Obito...I worry about you, y’know.” She’s back to pouting. “You’ve always been so...reclusive. I don’t want you to sit in that room and not experience life…! To...to look back and realize you missed it all!”

He gives a nervous chuckle. “Rin, really - I’m fine. I’m not -?”

“M’gonna ask around my circle for a blind date for you.”

“Wh-? No, don’t do th-!”

“I know lotsa nice girls, Obito! I bet one could make you happy, huh? Just give it a tryyy, okay?”

He flounders, not sure how to get out of this one. “I, uh...look, that’s really nice, but -?”

“C’mon Rin, leave the man alone,” Kakashi then cuts in, dragging his girlfriend back to another chair and ignoring her whining. “You can pester him about it when you’re sober, hm?”

“But ‘kashiii -”

“Why don’t you go check on Kurenai? She hustled to the bathroom pretty quick, she might need some help.”

Rin’s mouth opens into an o of concern, and she scurries off with her new mission.

“...sorry about that,” Kakashi sighs. “Admittedly she’s been going on about that sober, too.”

Obito glances aside, feeling embarrassed. “...is it really that concerning?”

“You know how Rin is, she has to take care of everybody. Just tell her you don’t want a date. Might take a few tries, but she’ll take the hint.”

His lips fall into a pout. In truth, well...he’d like a date, but...not with that kind of setup. It’s all the more mortifying given that he used to like Rin so much when they were in grade school. Having her try and set him up on a date just feels...weird. “...I’ll try.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kakashi takes the chair Rin was occupying, leaning back with a beer in hand. “You’ll figure it out.”

Obito gives him a glance, not quite sure what ‘it’ is in this context.

Not long after, the hour growing late, the group agrees to disperse. Rin and Kurenai whisper at the other end of the table as they all get ready to go.

“...I think Kurenai’s pregnant.”

Obito, swigging the last of his beer, almost does a spit take at Kakashi’s blunt revelation, choking instead. “What?!”

“She hasn’t had a single drink, but was still running to the bathroom. Bet you anything it’s morning sickness and she’s pregnant. And it doesn’t seem like Asuma is sober enough to put two and two together yet.”

Gawking, Obito looks around the group. Kakashi has always been keen, and...yeah, given what he can see, it does seem to be the case. “...pregnant...oh man…”

“Life marches on, eh?” Kakashi muses. “I had a feeling they’d be the first ones to pop one out.”

...something in Obito’s gut clenches. So...someone in their group is going to have a baby. And he hasn’t even -

Kakashi interrupts the thought with a slap on his back. “C’mon, let’s head home.”

“...you guys go ahead. I...need to pick something up.”

“Whaaa…? Like what?”

“A part for my bot. I’ll just swing by the scrap heap then be back.”

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m a little buzzed but I’m fine. Cold air will help. If I’m not back in half an hour, come looking for me, all right? You know where I’m headed.”

Kakashi stares at him for a moment, and Obito fears he’ll call his bluff. “...all right. Got your phone?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Good. Hey...be careful.”

“I will.”

Nodding, Kakashi then files out with the others, Obito bringing up the rear and splintering off to cross the street. While he doesn’t actually need any additional parts...he’s not quite ready to head home yet.

Not with so much on his mind.

Hands in his pockets and breath pluming in the air, Obito follows a familiar route. He goes to the scrapyard so often, he could probably do so in his sleep. The amount of good tech that gets thrown away honestly astounds him sometimes. But, that’s more for him to salvage and make use of, so he can’t really complain.

And it will give him something else to think about.

Reaching the edge, he slips through the fence in his usual spot, turning on his phone’s light to start looking for anything viable. Gears, wires, plating, plastic...he rummages through it all for anything that can catch his eye.

Anything that will make him forget for a moment that he’s such a black sheep among his friends. Falling behind and feeling more and more divided from them. He doesn’t want to think about kids, and dating, and getting married, and settling down...it’s all too much…!

Finding an android hand, he tugs it up to look at it, finding it stuck. Another tug, still nothing. Sighing and clenching his phone in his teeth, he uses both hands, pulls, and -

An entire body surfaces.

“Shit -!” Losing his footing in surprise, he falls over backward in a shower of parts.

...someone tossed a whole android...?!

Staring at it, he heaves himself back up and starts digging, revealing an entire robot. Well...mostly. Every part is intact save for the components kept in the torso, ripped out and severely damaged. There are deep dents along the entire body casing.

Someone beat the absolute shit out of this thing, but...why? Androids are so damn expensive...you might as well just light a bank account on fire.

Taking in the damage, Obito then looks at the face. It’s modeled to be female, with delicate features...making the deformations all the more shocking, in his opinion. The hair is white and wavy, and that makes him blink. All-white androids tend to be used in the medical field. So...wait...is this one of them?

Why the hell is a medical android so busted up and tossed for scrap? That doesn’t make any sense!

Turning her over, Obito checks the back of her neck for her model and serial number, checking it on his phone.

...it’s one of the latest models.

Okay, this is just weird.

Brow furrowing, Obito tries to puzzle this out. So someone got ahold of one of the latest medical robots on the market...ripped out most of its components...and then totally trashed it before throwing it in the dump. He can understand a potential parts robber, but there’s still so much valuable tech left! It doesn’t make any sense!

...he can’t just leave it all here.

He urges her back over to face upright, her powerless eyes a bit haunting. Androids are so realistic now, it’s like he’s staring at a real dead body. Now the only question is...how to get her back without anyone gawking at him. Including his roommates. He could disassemble her, then reassemble her back at the apartment, but he’ll need something to carry her in.

So he scrambles up to his feet, dragging her to a hidden alcove before dashing back toward home. Once there, he fishes out a duffle bag from under his bed, and a kit to take her apart.

“Whoa, you okay?” Kakashi asks, frowning.

“Yeah, fine! Found some cool stuff, can’t carry it all, so...I’ll be back!”

“But -?” Watching him dash back out, Kakashi just wilts. “...must have been a hell of a find…”

It’s almost one in the morning now, but Obito doesn’t slow down until he gets back to the scrapyard. Practiced hands break her down into smaller parts, and then he hauls the whole thing back home, furtively glancing around in case anyone thinks this is weird.

And thus just making himself look more suspicious.

But he returns unfettered, heading straight into his room and shutting the door.

He’s got a lot of work to do.

Carefully taking her back out, it takes far more time putting her back together than taking her apart. He starts making a list of her missing and damaged parts.

Man...this is gonna take a while. And given how stingy tech corps are, he can’t find any info on what’s been taken from her core.

So he texts Rin, who just so happens to be a nurse.

Hey, so this is weird, but if you could get me blueprints for a certain medical android, I’d owe you big time.

Knowing she won’t reply until she sleeps off all she drank tonight, he nonetheless gets to work. First thing’s first: carefully fix all the indentations. Then figure out if any components in her limbs were actually damaged, and either find replacements or fix them himself. Thankfully it’s almost all superficial, and he can move on to the rest of the mess: her core. There’s a lot of torn cabling and wires...that alone is going to be a nightmare. But he’s waited for so long to be able to work on a full working android model...he can’t let that faze him.

It’s late morning before Rin replies.

You realize I could lose my job for that?

But it’s really really important! Pleaseee?

...why do you need it?

Promise not to tell?

I’m already considering one illegal thing today. Why not another?

I found a Meditech android in the scrapyard, and I wanna fix her. But she’s missing some parts of her core.

Holy shit, really? You should return that! It’s hospital property!

I will! AFTER I fix her! Please Rin, you know how much I wanna get into full android work!

Several minutes pass as she clearly thinks it over.

...okay fine! I’ll try. Gimme the numbers and I’ll see what I can do.

You’re amazing, you know that?

I do, thank you.

A few hours later, she sends him the file...and Obito starts digging. As he figured, a lot of it is tech he’ll likely never get his hands on.

...legally, that is.

Thankfully he knows some people, and heads to the forum for help. Within the hour, he has trades arranged for all he’ll need.

Now to wait for shipping, and then the work...and he should have a functional android.

All the while, his roommates just figure he’s gotten himself buried into yet another timesink. Kakashi tries to sneak a peek, only for Obito to shove him back out every time.

“You can see when it’s done!”

For over a month...he barely leaves his room. Kakashi has to remind him to eat, let alone sleep. But then finally, after countless hours of work and frustration...he gives the reboot system a try.

Just barely audible in the silence is a quiet whir of tech booting up before they start running silently. Unseen, her software begins powering up , a diagnostic completed before she can begin to function. Sat in his computer chair, she’s completely still for several minutes.

Obito chews his lip, wondering if this is going to work.

And then...her bowed head lifts, and eyes open. They blink once, twice, subtly taking in her surroundings before focusing on Obito.

“...ID?” he asks.

Another blink - man, she looks so real…! “Meditech at-home care android model V-seven-nine. Serial number four eight two, nine nine seven three, zero zero zero zero.”

Huh...an at-home model. So she wasn’t at the hospital, but living with a patient. “Name?”

“My data bank is empty. Would you like to register a name?”

Oh shoot, that part of her memory was erased...or was never filled in the first place. He hesitates for a long moment. “...er...register name: Ryū.”

There’s a moment’s pause as it’s committed to her memory. “...I am Ryū. How may I help you today?”

And so begins his own check, running through as many system operations as he can think of to ensure nothing is on the fritz or damaged. All the while, ‘Ryū’ answers every question, performing scans and reporting all functioning as normal.

“...holy shit,” he then breathes. “I did it. I actually fixed you.”

“Would you like to register a patient?”

“...what is your patient registry?”

“No data available.”

“...run a patient registry scan for past entries.”

Another small pause. “...no data available.”

“...so you never got programmed. Seems to me you either never arrived at your destination, or...you were stolen from them early on. But why only take your core components and then trash the rest of you...?”

She doesn’t reply, the question rhetorical.

He sits on his bed with a thoughtful sigh, rubbing his chin before shooting Rin another text.

So...she’s up and working. Seems she was programmed for at-home care. Any records from the hospital of one of them going missing?

Hm...not from ours...give me a minute and I’ll check elsewhere.

As he waits, Obito watches the android. She just...sits, perfectly still, occasionally glancing around and blinking as programmed to appear more human and less unsettling. As he has several times while working on her, he can’t help but marvel at how far android tech has come over the years. She really does look human.

...and then there’s the question some ask about the humanity in a machine. If they can learn enough to be considered sentient. Some fear it, others embrace it, and a few even demand their freedom as equals to humans.

Obito...well, for the most part, he’s in the middle. It’s amazing technology, but...still technology. Can it become sentient? Maybe. He’s never seen full proof of it, at least not yet. As for being treated like a human, well...he’s pretty iffy on that.

But the longer he watches her, the more he wonders. Then his phone buzzes.

So I checked every hospital in the county, and nothing. No reported losses or thefts. I’ll check at the state level, but I mean...that’s pretty far, given where you found her.

His brow furrows. All right, thanks. What should I do with her in the meantime?

I mean...you can bring it in, we can always use it. But officially, we dunno where it belongs, so...y’know. Up to you, I guess. Unless I find something.

Well, all right then.

...now what?

In truth, he’s getting excited. If no one can claim her...maybe he can keep her! Obito does have his share of chronic conditions from his accident when he was young...he could probably make use of her. But does he really need to keep her, or...is he just geeking out about having an android?

As if sensing his thoughts, she looks to him, head tilting.

...he has to admit, her casing is really pretty. But it’s just an empty shell for a highly advanced computer.

...isn’t it?

...there have been rumors. Of AI going rogue in androids along the east coast. Nothing confirmed by the manufacturers of course, but the forum buzzes about it every time a supposed account leaks. The androids break their programming limitations, making decisions outside their parameters, and acting irrationally.

...acting human.

No one’s sure yet what causes it, but...it makes him wonder. Maybe he can use her as a bit of an experiment. See if he can replicate the supposed ‘malfunctions’.

But for now, he better wait until Rin exhausts all other avenues. He doesn’t want to mess around with a stolen android. But...that doesn’t mean he can’t at least interact with her.

“Hey, Ryū.”

“Yes?”

“My right shoulder is sore.”

She blinks, and then gives a smile. “If you’d like, I can perform massage therapy to try and ease tension in the muscles. I can also utilize acupuncture if you prefer.”

Her language is so….stiff. But whoever did her voice did a great job for a medical android - soft and comforting, clearly meant to ease patient stress. “Let’s try the massage therapy.”

“Please, have a seat.” She rises from his chair, letting him take it instead before asking, “Are you comfortable removing your shirt?”

He hesitates a moment. “...sure.” Pulling at the garment, he tosses it on his bed. Beneath are the plethora of scars from the accident that nearly crippled him in grade school.

Even if she isn’t human, he can’t help a surge of self consciousness.

...and then something odd happens.

So light he barely feels it, she runs fingertips over the hardened tissue. “...I do not have access to your medical records. May I inquire what caused this scarring?”

Another pause - he hates going over this, but...well, he supposes it’s relevant. “...accident when I was young. I was struck by a car. I’ve got a lot of pins and plating from putting me back together.” After a pause, he jokes, “Makes going to the airport quite a hassle, heh.”

She doesn’t reply, and just keeps...mapping out the marks.

“...is it in the way?”

Her focus seems to return. “No. But it will help me to diagnose and solve other issues in the future. Thank you.” She then adjusts her posture and starts working at the knotted muscle in his back.

And...dang, she’s really good at this.

With pinpoint precision, she finds and soothes at the sore spot, and soon enough Obito is a puddle in his chair. Twenty minutes later, the pain is entirely gone.

“How do you feel?”

Slowly sitting up, he rolls his shoulder. “...great! Thanks.”

She smiles again. “You’re welcome! Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“As a brief reminder, I am also outfitted with custodial knowledge, and if your medical dependency is severe enough, I am programmed to handle housework, assistance with day to day activities, and escorting you out of your home if desired.”

That ears a blink. “...seriously?”

To his surprise, she laughs. “Seriously! I am a full home-care model, and can handle all regular duties of a human caretaker to an even more sophisticated and efficient degree. And should you find any of my programming insufficient, you need only contact my manufacturer, and they can arrange a software upgrade to handle your individual needs.”

...huh. He wasn’t expecting all...that. “And, er...do I need documentation to have you upgraded? Your receipt or anything?”

There’s a pause, and he can tell she’s checking her internal manual for an answer. “I’m sorry, but I do not have the information you’re looking for on hand. Please contact my manufacturer for clarification.”

Well, shoot...if he does end up keeping her, that might pose a problem. He supposes he can always take her to a less legal place to have her tinkered with...at least, anything beyond his own capabilities. He might be able to find bootleg copies of any new software, but given all she sounds like she’s capable of, that shouldn’t be a problem anyway.

“Oi, are you done in here yet? Who are you talking to?”

Stiffening, Obito doesn’t have enough time to get to the door, and Kakashi opens it up.

...and stares.

“...am I...interrupting something?”

Bright red at Kakashi’s clear assumption, Obito blurts, “I-it’s not what it looks like!”

“Hello!” Ryū then offers.

Kakashi perks a brow. “...hi. And you are…?”

“I am a Meditech at-home care android. I have been named Ryū. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

...he blinks. “...you have an android?”

“She’s what I found in the scrapyard last month. I just finished putting her back together!”

“A whole-ass android was in the scrapyard?”

“Yeah! Rin’s been helping me figure out how to fix her. And now, er...she’s fixed!”

“...huh. And uh...does it belong to someone?”

“Rin’s checking. No records yet. So, I...might get to keep her…?”

“Well it better pay rent. And if you get frisky with it, keep it down, all right?”

Flaring red again, Obito gives a holler, throwing a shoe as Kakashi closes the door. Said shoe bounces harmlessly to the floor.

“Stupid Kakashi...as if…”

“If it addresses the issue at hand, I am equipped with -”

“No! No no!” Obito cuts in, face about to explode as he interrupts her. “I already know that, I saw when I was reassembling you! I don’t need it!”

She blinks. “...heightened aggression and tension in male patients can sometimes be attributed to pent-up se-”

“NO!” Oh lord he’s going to die from embarrassment. “I...I don’t need that, okay? Kakashi is just getting on my nerves. It’s fine.”

“Would you like me to check your blood pressure?”

“...no, I’m fine.”

“Perhaps you’re hungry! Could I fix you something to eat?”

...she’s not going to stop, is she? “Okay, sure. But uh...I live with three other people. Kakashi was one, Asuma and Gai are the others.” Though Asuma, if Obito remembers right, is looking for a place to live with Kurenai and their soon-to-be baby.

“That’s no problem! I’m capable of adjusting any recipe in my index to suit as many household members as necessary.”

...well, might as well get this over with.

Asuma just chuckles at the sight of her, and Gai marvels at “this brilliant new technology” until Kakashi convinces him to stop.

And while she’s cooking, Rin sends Obito a text.

So how much do you love me, bff of mine?

...a lot? Why?

So no registry records in the entire state. So I looked that serial number up, and guess what?

What?

There’s no match for it. It wasn’t part of any official manufacturing run.

Obito gawks at his screen. So, what...she’s a bootleg?

No, seems she’s legit given what all you told me. It’s more like...someone went in to the factory, made ONE android, and made off with it after clearing the record of its assembly. To the system registry, it doesn’t exist.

He has to sit down for a moment, the background noise of the guys peppering Ryū with questions going unnoticed. ...so what do I do?

I’m not sure. I mean the RIGHT thing to do would be to turn it in, but...I mean, there’s also no proof you stole it or anything. But nor that you bought it. It’s a really weird grey area. My guess is...someone made an off-the-record ‘droid to try and steal the technology from the company for their own.

Obito stills. ...that’s why only some of her components were missing. That was all the thief needed.

Exactly.

...well, I...guess I’ll think it over.

Sure. Lemme know if you need anything else, kay?

Will do.

Obito puts his phone to sleep, stunned. An off-the-record robot. And he just happened to find her.

...now what should he do with her?

His thoughts are broken as laughter rings out, and he looks up to see Ryū smiling as everyone points at Gai, a pancake perfectly centered on his head from her pan.

...if he didn’t know any better, he’d think she was real.

Well, for now, he’ll just...keep her here. If anyone else finds out her origins, he might have to turn her over. Thoughts start turning. Maybe someone on the forum can help him forge some documents for her. Shouldn't be that hard. Then maybe he can keep her.

...it’s been barely an hour and he already feels attached, damn it.

“Oi, Obito!”

His focus returns. “Huh?”

“What would you like on your pancake?” Ryū asks after Kakashi gets his attention.

“...uh, just...butter and syrup, please.”

She gives another smile, and he feels his chest clench.

...oh no.

     Aaand I went overboard again xD BUT I haven’t gotten to use this verse yet, so...I indulged lol      Not very, uh...traditional? Def the first time I’ve written a muse as an android, but I’ve had the idea for a long time. It’s a bit parallel to day...three of last year, I think? BUT it’s not quite cyberpunk, and the roles are reversed, as well as amplified lol      Otherwise, uh...not much to say? Posting late cuz today was muh birthday and I had stuff to do .w. Tomorrow is also gonna be busy-ish sooo we’ll see if I finally start falling behind :’D But for now, that’s all I’ve got! Thanks for reading~

[rayshippouuchiha]

Oh man.... Toni/Bucky, Carol/Rhodey or Kakashi/Naruto? Ino/Sakura too if you want to explore that idea. I'm not picky, you do The Good Writing™ for everything

Oh man this got away with me and we didn’t get any Kakashi/Naruto actual content but I did set up an entirely new AU that’s similar to some of my others but with a few twists.

For this scenario I think maybe it should all be Shisui and Itachi’s fault.  Although Itachi maintains he only had a ... very small hand in the entire debacle.

See since the coup never happens the village is way more stable. And, thanks to that, Shisui and Itachi both eventually end up transferring out of ANBU.

Itachi becomes an elite Jounin and takes up his training as future Clan Head.  There’s also rumors, much to Itachi’s despair, that he’s being considered for Hokage since the Sandaime is getting seriously old and Kakashi is notoriously uninterested.

Shisui, cause he’s a solid 6 on the Uchiha How Much Of A Dick Are You? Scale eventually decides that he needs a protege, someone to pass on his Will of First Of All Fuck You to, so he goes “huh let’s get some kids” and turns up all “yo, i want babies” at the prospective Jounin-sensei meeting.

Sarutobi, much to most people’s horror, agrees.

So Shisui ends up getting the most annoying, adorable, impossibly perfect team ever.

There’s his adorable gremlin of a cousin Sasuke.  Kid’s got an unhealthy obsession with swords and fire and is basically a walking, talking brother complex.  Just like a proper Uchiha.  It’s adorable.

There’s Sakura Haruno who is .... Shisui’s not really sure what she is but she switches between sweet and proper and cackling like Anko at the drop of a hat and it’s delightfully terrifying.  He starts calling her sweet side Pink Sakura and her other side Red Sakura, because yeah he’s pretty sure she’s got a split personality and not naming them both would just be rude.  Either way both Sakuras have a punch like a horse’s kick and that’s when they’re not even trying.

And then, last but totally not least, there’s his final student.

Shisui’s Holy Grail if you will.

Naruto Uzumaki, the Kyubi container, and worst kept secret in the entire village.

The kid is loud, somehow viciously cheerful, deviously sweet, has ungodly amounts of chakra even without the Biju factoring in, has an obsession with making things go boom, shows up in a kimono or as a girl roughly 50% of the time, and has a deeply embedded sense of Gotta Go Real Fast.

All things that Shisui both respects and appreciates.

But the most important thing is, in Shisui’s opinion, the fact that Naruto is the possessor of the biggest Fuck You Very Much I Do What I Want attitude Shisui has seen since Minato-sama and Kushina-hime were alive.

So, overall, Shisui and his team are a match made in the deepest, darkest, most glorious pits of hell.

The training Shisui puts them through, with Itachi being their honorary 2nd sensei, is whispered about for years to come.

They make Chunin in 6 months and Shisui, backed by his gremlins, just straight up tells the Hokage thatif he tries to break Team Shisui up they’ll stage a revolt and flee Konoha together for a life on the run where they’ll devote all of their time to making the lives of Konoha shinobi, and the Sandaime in particular, horrible for decades to come until they inevitably conquer and/or destroy the world in a blaze of glory.

Considering that Team Shisui consists of not 1 but basically 3 Uchiha (because Itachi would totally follow his best friend and little brother), whatever the hell Haruno turned out to be, and NARUTO Sarutobi takes them seriously.

They become a permanent squad.

By the time Shinsui’s gremlins are 16 they’re Jounin and have entries in every Bingo book to be found.

Naruto is well on the way to earning a Flee On Sight rank just like Minato-sama.

Shinsui couldn’t be prouder.  Despite the fact that there’s only a handful of years between them he’s pretty sure he feels almost father levels of pride for his gremlins.

That is until the romance bug goes around hard.

Sakura, to Shisui’s ever lasting awe and horror ends up focused on both Ino and possibly Rock Lee.  Shisui’s not really sure.  He just knows there’s a lot of flowers changing hands, a lot of punching being done, both Sakuras keep cackling, and Lee won’t stop screaming.

Shisui’s about 60% sure that Sasuke is gonna end up with Naruto because there’s some kind of obsession there between those two.  But that ends pretty quickly when Shisui realizes that Sasuke’s brother complex kind of pales in comparison of his new found “Keep Naruto Pure” complex.

Kiba makes one off color joke about Naruto’s new kimono looking better on Kiba’s floor and well .... let’s just say Shisui didn’t know Sasuke was a biter but Kiba does end up spending a good week in the hospital.

Honestly Shisui can’t really find fault in that either though, especially since he and the Sakuras take such delight in winding Sasuke up and urging him on.  Although they are both protective of Naruto too.

Naruto, despite a shitty childhood or maybe because of it, is precious.

Which is, of course, when Itachi slides up with a truly awful idea sometime post Kiba’s mauling.

“You know,” Itachi says softly, “Naruto has such a .... magnetic effect on others.  Look at how protective my sweet little brother is.”

Shisui does in fact know this.  He also knows Sasuke, who he has now seen actively chew on a fellow Konoha nin, is absolutely the sweetest.

“I think he’d be just the thing to brighten up and ground some of our more .... unstable comrades,” Itachi says casually.  “Naruto might even find his match there since we all know his peers aren’t ... equipped to handle him.”

Shisui agrees but he’s also not fooled.

Everyone might think otherwise but Shisui knows the truth.

Unlike Shisui’s solid and respectable 6, Itachi, despite being a pacifist, was born a firm 7 on the Uchiha How Much Of A Dick Are You? Scale.

“Who did you have in mind?”  Shisui asks but he’s pretty sure he already knows.

Itachi smiles.

Somewhere in the village Kakashi gets a chill up his spine.

Naruto, of course, takes Itachi and Shisui’s attempts to put him in Kakashi’s path with grace and good humor.

Sasuke takes one look at Kakashi’s orange book and looses his entire mind.

Kakashi isn’t sure what he did to deserve Minato-sensei’s entirely too attractive and entirely too strong kid stalking him, or his rabid Uchiha trying to kill him, but it doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

Plus, about six months in, Kakashi thinks he might be having Emotions(TM) of the decidedly romantic nature and he does not care for that shit at all.  This is why he avoided doing more than watching over Naruto here and there when Naruto was a kid.  He can’t afford these kinds of attachments, especially not of the romantic nature, and Naruto is entirely too easy to get attached to.

In turn Naruto doesn’t care about him not caring.  Once Naruto latches on he latches on hard.  And Kakashi has his complete and total attention.

Shisui thinks it’s all adorable.

Sarutobi is kind of delighted honestly.  Kakashi is a bit older yes but it’s not so unusual in their lifestyle.  Naruto would be good for him and vice versa.  Plus Kushina had always wanted Kakashi to be family, Minato too.  Marriage would make that happen.

Meanwhile Itachi’s in the background silently gleeful because if Kakashi would have just accepted the hat none of this would have happened.  Itachi’s revenge is both sweet and Naruto shaped.

Now Kakashi will inevitably end up in the Hokage’s office anyways.  Either wearing the hat himself or as Naruto’s trophy husband.

If Sasuke doesn’t kill him first.

Either way it serves him right.