avengernomore

[avengernomore]

"...Huh. I never noticed before, but Kiba's mom is pretty hot..."

[avengernomore]

Smut Starters & Symbols

rp-memes-atyourservice‌:

TW: explicit sexual content, some slight humiliation. Feel free to change wording, pronouns, genitalia, etc, to better fit your muse.

Send one of the following SENTENCES for my muse’s reaction:

“You’re so pretty like this.” “You’re beautiful when you’re all flushed and wanting.” “Do you want me to take you like this?” “Easy, I don’t want to hurt you.” “Slow down, slow down.” “You can be rough with me, I won’t break.” “I want to suck you off.” “I want to eat you out.” “Did you touch yourself, thinking of me?” “Please, please, touch me.” “I want to bury my face between your thighs.” “I want to touch you all night.” “Please. Please, I’ll beg, I’ll do anything you want.” “You can beg better than that, I think.” “Harder, harder–” “Fuck me until I can’t think.” “I want you to bend me over and fuck me.” “Would you let me take you here? Where anyone might see?” “I don’t usually do this - but for you, anything.” “You have such beautiful thighs.” “Be patient, I’m not going to fuck you dry, no matter how much you beg.” “Beg me for it.” “You were made for this, weren’t you?” “I think you’d stay on your knees all night if I’d let you.” “Ride me. Slowly, that’s it.” “Don’t you dare come until I give you permission.” “Ah-ah. Don’t touch me.” “Touch yourself, go on.” “I want to make you feel good.” “I love it when you moan for me.” “Come on, darling, come for me.” “Come on my fingers, that’s it.” “God, your mouth, please–” “I need you, I need your (mouth/cock/pussy/ass/fingers)–” “Shh, do you want someone to walk in on us with your cock in me?” “I’ll let you have me any way you want.” “I’ve wanted to fuck you all night.” “You’re so fucking tight.” “You feel so good.” “Kiss me, I want��please–” “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna come–!” “Please let me come.” “I think I could go again, if you wanted.”

Send one of the following PROMPTS for my muse’s reaction. Feel free to combine prompts.

[tug] - to pull my muse’s head back by the hair [throat] - to grip my muse gently but firmly by the throat [chin] - to tilt my muse’s chin up to make them look at your muse [kneel] - to kneel in front of my muse [wall] - to pin my muse to a wall [wrists] - to hold my muse down by the wrists [flip] - to flip my muse onto their stomach and hold them down [drag] - to drag my muse into yours’ lap [palm] - to rub a palm against my muse’s clothed groin [rut] - to push a knee between my muse’s thighs, against their groin [mouth] - to mouth at my muse’s groin through their pants or underwear [taste] - to have my muse taste themselves on your muse’s fingers [tongue] - to kiss my muse with tongue  [thighs] - to kiss and suck at my muse’s inner thighs [lick] - to go down on my muse  [finger] - to finger my muse [breasts] - to fondle my muse’s breasts [booty] - to fondle my muse’s ass [spank] - to spank my muse [restrain] - to tie my muse’s hands to prevent them from moving them [dressup] - to dress my muse in sexy/appealing clothing (specify) [vibrator] - to use a vibrator on my muse [penetrate] - to fuck my muse with a cock, dildo or strap [behind] - to fuck my muse from behind [facing] - to fuck my muse face to face [tenderly] - to tenderly make love to my muse

[pants] - to make my muse come in their pants [facial] - to come on my muse’s face [inside] - to come inside my muse [risky] - to make my muse come where there’s a risk of being heard/discovered [early] - to make my muse come earlier than expected [edge] - to edge my muse/deny them orgasm [beg] - to beg my muse to let yours come

Add ‘reverse’ to any prompt for my muse to perform the action on yours instead! Alternatively, feel free to make up your own prompt even if it’s not on the list!

[avengernomore]

FIRE EMBLEM THREE HOUSES SENTENCE STARTERS

merely a collection of some quotes i liked during my first playthrough of fe:3h. a good portion of these are from support conversations between the blue lion members. feel free to customise them to your needs!

“ in fact, i’d say you’re perfect in all aspects… i don’t think i’ve ever seen you fail at anything. ”

“ if you stand in my way, i will strike you down. ”

“ well, since you’re offering to help, why don’t you come to my room? ”

“ your room? why? are you redecorating? ”

“ oh! uh, hi, [name]. i just got into a little fight. no big deal. i definitely won. ”

“ perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we’ll be together forever. what do you think? ”

“ …you have got to admit, my jokes keep getting better. ”

“ making girls lose interest is what i’m best at! ”

“ i’m a good-for-nothing, if you haven’t noticed, but i’m still a noble with a crest/title. that’s all anyone cares about. ”

“ don’t get the wrong idea. i have no intentions of dying. ”

“ your beauty - and you’re gorgeous, by the way - won’t last forever. ”

“ when i was eight, you came onto my sweet, sweet granny. my granny! ”

“ i don’t suppose you would care to join me for tea? we could discuss education… and marriage. ”

“ but you know how it is. most relationships end in heartbreak. ”

“ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you look so miserable. ”

“ you can’t just spy on people while they’re singing without saying anything! ”

“ i’m also intrigued by those beat and swamp beastie songs you mentioned. ”

“ you’ve made such a mess of my mess, now i feel motivated to clean my own room. ”

“ who i am now is the sum of everything i’ve done. ”

“ you’ve made it abundantly clear i’m not to want anything from you, including politeness. ”

“ friendship, loyalty, justice… only fools allow their lives to be ruled by such nonsense. ”

“ it’s fine. i’m just frustrated by how little i was able to do. ”

“ pursuing your ideals is not foolish. ”

“ …now you’re just massaging my ego. ”

“ you have no right to criticize me for my ideals! ”

“ without fulfilling my dream, i’ve been asking myself where my place is in the world. ”

“ if you died, i’d be… annoyed. ”

“ i’m not trying to treat you like a child. i promise! this is me treating you like… like a princess! ”

“ i find myself speechless in the wake of your staggering ignorance. ”

“ you’re a hard guy to grasp, you know? ”

“ i’d let you grasp me any day. my hand, my heart, even my neck. ”

“ i was quite busy sampling pastries, i’ll have you know! ”

“ that impish look on your face does not suggest innocence. ”

“ to be blunt, it would have been better had you never shown your face here. ”

“ how rude of you, [name]! i’m sure that old woman was lovely back in her day. ”

“ i’m honored that you acknowledge my greatness. ”

“ i will prove that you have drastically underestimated me. ”

“ you think i could ignore such a slight upon my honor? ”

“ well, anything [name] can do, i can do better - and in half the time! ”

[avengernomore]

Give me 6 characters and I’ll tell you who i would:

Push off a cliff

Kiss

Marry

Set on Fire

Wrap a Blanket around

Be Roommates with

[avengernomore]

Sleepy Sex Meme

Send one for…

😍 - My muse to roll on top of your muse and start to kiss them

😊 - Your muse to suck on my muse’s neck while they cuddle 😨 - My muse to sneak under the cover and pleasure with your muse with their mouth

😈 - My muse crawling on your muse and pressing their hips against your muse’s crotch

😱 - My muse suddenly reaching down and grabbing your muse between the legs 💤 - Your muse spooning mine from behind and starting to rub their crotch against my muse’s hind

👂 - Your muse nibbling on my muse’s ear

❤️ - WILD CARD!!

[avengernomore]

TELL ME HOW YOU'D FUCK ME ANONYMOUSLY.

[avengernomore]

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

Following my AUs and Prompts List from a few months back, here is a compilation of my favorite sentence starters for all your writing needs.

Because most of them aren’t mine, credits are at the end.

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!” 

“It’s you, it’s always been you.” 

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

Sources: x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

[avengernomore]

❛ mulan ❜ sentence starters

“We’re under attack! Light the signal!”

“Send your troops to protect my people!”

“A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.”

“I’m going to uh… pray some more.”

“How lucky can they be? They’re dead.”

“This is what you give me to work with? Well honey, I’ve seen worse!”

“You’ll bring honor to us all.”

“Boys will gladly go to war for you!”

“Even you can’t blow it!”

“Who spit in their bean curd?”

“I think it’s going well, don’t you?”

“You will never bring your family honor!”

“Can it be I’m not meant to play this part?”

“If I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.”

“What beautiful blossoms we have this year… But look, this one’s late! But I’ll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.”

“[ NAME ], you dishonor me.”

“So you’ll die for honor?”

“I will die doing what’s right!”

“I know my place! It’s time you learned yours!”

“You should go after them – they could be killed!”

“Anybody who’s foolish enough to threaten our family, vengeance will be mine!”

“Well we can’t all be acupuncturists!”

“Okay okay, I get the drift, I’ll go.”

“Jump back, I’m pretty hot, huh? Don’t make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.”

“Just once chance, is that too much to ask? I mean it’s not like it’ll kill you.”

“Don’t even worry about it! I will not lose face!”

“That’s the master plan! Oh, you’ve done it now man!”

“You’re lucky? Do I look like a sucker to you?”

“Stop me? They invited me.”

“By building their wall they challenged my strength. Well I’m here to play their game.”

“How many men does it take to deliver a message?”

“Ah I see you have a sword! I have one too! They’re very manly and tough!”

“It’ll take a miracle to get me into the army.”

“Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls!”

“My powers are beyond your mortal imagination.”

“That’s it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!”

“It’s all attitude. Be tough, like this guy here.”

“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”

“Ah, you ain’t worth my time, chicken boy.”

“Say that to my face, you limp noodle!”

“This is an enormous responsibility. Perhaps a soldier with more experience…?”

“Leader of [ PLACE ]’s finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time!”

“I mean, sorry you had to see that. But you know how it is when you get those manly urges – and you just gotta kill something!”

“I didn’t ask for their name, I asked for yours!”

“Y’know, we need to work on your people skills.”

“Place nice with the other kids. Unless of course, one of the other kids wants to fight, then you have to kick the other kid’s butt.”

“Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C’mon, scare me!”

“My little baby off to destroy people…”

“Are y’hungry? ‘Cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich.”

“I’ll get that arrow, pretty boy. And I’ll do it with my shirt on.”

“You’re the saddest bunch I’ve ever met.”

“Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!”

“Heed my every order and you might survive.”

“We’re doomed! There are a couple of things I know they’re bound to notice!”

“I bet [ NAME ] and I could take you!”

“I never want to see a naked man again.”

“Those boys are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be captain. Once the general reads my report, your troops will never see battle.”

“Hey, I’ll hold him and you punch.”

“Hello, this is the army! Make it sound more urgent please!”

“And I do not squeal like a girl.”

“There’s no time for stupid questions!”

“Hey, think of instead: a girl worth fighting for!”

“Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer.”

“How ‘bout a girl who’s got a brain, who always speaks her mind?”

“Yeah the only girl who’d love him is his mother.”

“Search for survivors!”

“What happened? You just gave away our position!”

“Prepare to fight. If we die, we die with honor.”

“You missed! How could you miss, they were three feet in front of you!”

“We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming!”

“I knew we could do it! You the man! … Well, sort of.”

“You are the craziest person I’ve ever met. And for that I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.”

“I didn’t mean for it to go this far! It was the only way! Please, believe me.”

“A life for a life. My debt is repaid.”

“Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right. So when I look in a mirror, I’d seen someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing.”

“You risked your life to help people you love… I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions.”

“We started this thing together, and that’s how we’ll finish it. I promise.”

“They popped out of the snow! Like daisies!”

“Are we in this together or not?”

“Let’s go kick some honey buns!”

“Keep your eyes open. I know they’re here.”

“Your walls and armies have fallen. And now it’s your turn. Bow to me.”

“No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.”

“You! You took away my victory!”

“You don’t have a plan?!”

“It looks like you’re out of ideas.”

“Stand aside, that creature’s not worth protecting!”

“I’ve heard a great deal about you, [ NAME ].”

“You have saved us all.”

“I think I’ve been away from home long enough.”

“Are they allowed to do that?”

“You… you fight good.”

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.”

“They’re gifts, to honor our family.”

“Great, they brought home a sword. If you ask me they should’ve brought home a [ WOMAN/MAN ].”

“Woo! Sign me up for the next war!”

“Would you like to stay forever?”

“Dinner would be great.”

“You know, they get it from my side of the family!”

[avengernomore]

Send “💭” For A Thought My Muse Had of Yours!

[avengernomore]

Send ◕‿◕ to play with my muse’s hair

[avengernomore]

can y'all send some asks that are like “thoughts on ______”

[avengernomore]

"Smash or Pass!" + Ino

Send "Smash or Pass!" + a character name into my inbox for my muse's answer!

"Well, if I were to think about it, I wouldn't want to encourage her to return to her fangirling ways..."

"Thinking about how attractive she is though, definitely Smash~"

[avengernomore]

Send “Deep Azure” to find My Muse in a Hot Spring..

Or send “Heated Azure” to find them in a Hot Spring…NAKED…

[avengernomore]

texts from last night meme 2 (nsfw)

[text]: THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD

[text]: I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.

[text]: I’d apply for another job, but “staring out windows crying” is not a hot qualification right now.

[text]: the back of my hand read, “say no to drugs.” my palm read, “say yes to shots.” when the fuck did I write that?

[text]: He gave me the “I’ve pictured you while jerkin off” look

[text]: I’m just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.

[text]: Correct me if I’m wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

[text]: Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex

[text]: was it me or did you scream ‘champagne motherfucker’ when you punched him in the face ??

[text]: They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

[text]: New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.

[text]: Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I’m fairly sure my shirt was on fire.

[text]: its gotten to the point where if her hand isn’t on my butt i think we’re in a fight

[text]: I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I’ve never met before in my life

[text]: At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.

[text]: It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.

[text]: You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.

[text]: ‘go have sex with her’ does not count as wingman

[text]: someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower… i am actually speechless

[text]: You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.

[text]: Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you

[text]: Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

[text]: Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??

[text]: You know how I told you I don’t have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

[text]: Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

[avengernomore]

“You’re easy to fluster, huh? That’s cute” - // as she kisses the weak spot on his neck hehe

@temahime

"Mmmn..." He gave a soft moan, sliding an arm around Temari. "Sometimes I can be easy to fluster, yes... Usually, it's older women who manage to fluster me, though..." He gave her nose a gentle boop. "I mean, older than just a year... but I'm sure you have plenty of plans up your sleeves to try and fluster me~"

[avengernomore]

texts from last night meme (nsfw)

[text]: I don’t know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.

[text]: You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian

[text]: WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER

[text]: At least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.

[text]: If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don’t pay him back by boning his daughter.

[text]: You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

[text]: Life’s too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

[text]: It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.

[text]: Maybe it’s cause you slapped him with a pancake last night

[text]:You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

[text]:Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?

[text]: Just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if I was gonna buy it now and I laughed and asked her why I’d want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.

[text]: I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big

[text]: Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.

[text]: Why didn’t you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?

[text]: You better buy her a motherfucking bunny rabbit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.

[text]:I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say “ hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me”

[text]: You were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig’s cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.

[text]: I’m still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I’ll be there in a few

[text]: This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with your ex

[text]: Well that’s my green light to bang your brother. It’s not real til it’s on fb

[text]: So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren’t actually the same thing.

[text]: Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a “pants optional” weekend?

[text]: Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

[text]: We found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn’t want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn’t be together.

[avengernomore]

Blushy, flustered, sentence starters

“I’m not blushing, shut up”

“You’re easy to fluster, huh? That’s cute”

“Hey, your face is really red are you okay?”

“I’m so embarrassed I can feel the redness of my face”

“Bet I can make you blush!”

“You probably think my face is red because of you but it’s not”

“You’re making me blush”

“D-Don’t look at me”

“It was just a joke you don’t have to get all red faced”

“You’re as red as a tomato”  

“What’s with your face, are you sick?”

“You’re cute when you blush”

“Ha, it’s so easy to tease you and your reactions are the best”