AU Sasuke Uchiha. SFW and NSFW theads, NSFW will likely be untagged because I'm forgetful as fuck. Written by ya boi, Cobalt!
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TELL ME HOW YOU'D FUCK ME ANONYMOUSLY.
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RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS
Following my AUs and Prompts List from a few months back, here is a compilation of my favorite sentence starters for all your writing needs.
Because most of them aren’t mine, credits are at the end.
SHORT
“Marry me.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“You are not going without me.”
“I can’t believe you!”
“I swear it won’t happen again.”
“What did you say?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
“We can’t keep doing this.”
“Are you sure this is legal?”
“Isn’t this amazing?”
“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
“Stay the night. Please.”
“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”
“Run away with me.”
“You did WHAT?”
“Quit whining.”
“Get outta my sight!”
“Why are you so annoying?”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Never in a million years.”
“Don’t ask me that…”
“I might have had a few shots.”
“What’s with the box?”
“W- What are you doing?”
“Say it!”
“I could kiss you right now!”
“Are you done with that?”
“What’s going on here?”
“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”
“Did you do this on purpose?!”
“Kiss me.”
“Are you still awake..?”
“Excuse you?”
“This is all your fault!”
“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”
“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”
“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”
“It’s not fair!”
“I could kill you right now!”
“Knock it off!”
“Screw you!”
“You’re a complete moron!”
“I love this song!”
“I can’t be in love with you!”
“Make me.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“I hate you.”
“You are infuriating!”
“Just shut up already.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Bite me.”
“Eat me.”
“Kiss my ass.”
“Just admit I’m right.”
“Just admit you’re wrong.”
“You are being ridiculous!”
“That’s irrational.”
“Listen to me!”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“Don’t yell at me.”
“That’s it. End of discussion.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You shouldn’t have said that.”
“Fuck you!”
“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”
“How dare you?”
“I dare you!”
“It’s you, it’s always been you.”
“Well this is awkward…”
“Just pretend to be my date”.
MISCELLANEOUS
“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”
“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”
“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”
“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”
“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”
“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”
“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”
“Can I touch your boob?”
“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”
“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”
“Give me cake or give me death.”
“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”
“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”
“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”
“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”
“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”
“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”
“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”
“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”
“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”
“I vote today to be a pajama day.”
“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”
“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”
“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”
“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”
“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”
“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”
“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”
“This would not happen if I had a penis!”
“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”
“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”
“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”
“To the night you’ll never remember!”
“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”
“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”
“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”
“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”
“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”
“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”
“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”
“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“
“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”
“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”
“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”
“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”
“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”
“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”
“Fuck the sandwich guy!”
“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”
“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”
“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”
“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”
“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”
“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”
“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”
“It’s midnight, what do you want?”
“I think I know how to use a bed.”
“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”
“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”
“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”
“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”
“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”
PREGNANCY
“I have something to tell you…”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
“I’m pregnant!”
“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”
“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”
“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”
“Pregnancy suits you…”
“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”
“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”
“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”
“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”
“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”
“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”
“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”
FLUFF
“Your hair is so soft…”
“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”
“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”
“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”
“What, does that feel good?”
“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”
“Are you wearing my shirt?”
“You are ridiculously comfortable…”
“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”
“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”
“You’re beautiful, you know that?”
“We should get a puppy!”
STARGAZING
“Aren’t they beautiful?”
“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”
“Shooting star, make a wish.”
“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”
“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”
“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”
“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”
“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”
“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”
“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.
FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL
“Did you just… finish?”
“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”
“I’m not actually feeling anything.”
“Are you getting any closer?”
“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”
“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”
“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”
“Wow, you’re hot.”
“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“Hey, I’m open minded.”
“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”
“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”
“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”
“I see someone’s happy to see me.”
“I saw that. You just checked me out.”
“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”
“Take off your clothes.”
“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”
“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”
“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”
“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”
“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”
“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”
TEXTS
[text]: What do you want now?
[text]: Do you want to bet on that?
[text]: Guess who just got back in town.
[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…
[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!
[text]: Come on, come to the party!
[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.
[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.
[text]: I call bullshit.
[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?
[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.
[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.
[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!
[text] I know what you did last summer…
Sources: x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
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❛ mulan ❜ sentence starters
“We’re under attack! Light the signal!”
“Send your troops to protect my people!”
“A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.”
“I’m going to uh… pray some more.”
“How lucky can they be? They’re dead.”
“This is what you give me to work with? Well honey, I’ve seen worse!”
“You’ll bring honor to us all.”
“Boys will gladly go to war for you!”
“Even you can’t blow it!”
“Who spit in their bean curd?”
“I think it’s going well, don’t you?”
“You will never bring your family honor!”
“Can it be I’m not meant to play this part?”
“If I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.”
“What beautiful blossoms we have this year… But look, this one’s late! But I’ll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.”
“[ NAME ], you dishonor me.”
“So you’ll die for honor?”
“I will die doing what’s right!”
“I know my place! It’s time you learned yours!”
“You should go after them – they could be killed!”
“Anybody who’s foolish enough to threaten our family, vengeance will be mine!”
“Well we can’t all be acupuncturists!”
“Okay okay, I get the drift, I’ll go.”
“Jump back, I’m pretty hot, huh? Don’t make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.”
“Just once chance, is that too much to ask? I mean it’s not like it’ll kill you.”
“Don’t even worry about it! I will not lose face!”
“That’s the master plan! Oh, you’ve done it now man!”
“You’re lucky? Do I look like a sucker to you?”
“Stop me? They invited me.”
“By building their wall they challenged my strength. Well I’m here to play their game.”
“How many men does it take to deliver a message?”
“Ah I see you have a sword! I have one too! They’re very manly and tough!”
“It’ll take a miracle to get me into the army.”
“Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls!”
“My powers are beyond your mortal imagination.”
“That’s it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!”
“It’s all attitude. Be tough, like this guy here.”
“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”
“Ah, you ain’t worth my time, chicken boy.”
“Say that to my face, you limp noodle!”
“This is an enormous responsibility. Perhaps a soldier with more experience…?”
“Leader of [ PLACE ]’s finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time!”
“I mean, sorry you had to see that. But you know how it is when you get those manly urges – and you just gotta kill something!”
“I didn’t ask for their name, I asked for yours!”
“Y’know, we need to work on your people skills.”
“Place nice with the other kids. Unless of course, one of the other kids wants to fight, then you have to kick the other kid’s butt.”
“Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C’mon, scare me!”
“My little baby off to destroy people…”
“Are y’hungry? ‘Cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich.”
“I’ll get that arrow, pretty boy. And I’ll do it with my shirt on.”
“You’re the saddest bunch I’ve ever met.”
“Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!”
“Heed my every order and you might survive.”
“We’re doomed! There are a couple of things I know they’re bound to notice!”
“I bet [ NAME ] and I could take you!”
“I never want to see a naked man again.”
“Those boys are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be captain. Once the general reads my report, your troops will never see battle.”
“Hey, I’ll hold him and you punch.”
“Hello, this is the army! Make it sound more urgent please!”
“And I do not squeal like a girl.”
“There’s no time for stupid questions!”
“Hey, think of instead: a girl worth fighting for!”
“Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer.”
“How ‘bout a girl who’s got a brain, who always speaks her mind?”
“Yeah the only girl who’d love him is his mother.”
“Search for survivors!”
“What happened? You just gave away our position!”
“Prepare to fight. If we die, we die with honor.”
“You missed! How could you miss, they were three feet in front of you!”
“We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming!”
“I knew we could do it! You the man! … Well, sort of.”
“You are the craziest person I’ve ever met. And for that I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.”
“I didn’t mean for it to go this far! It was the only way! Please, believe me.”
“A life for a life. My debt is repaid.”
“Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right. So when I look in a mirror, I’d seen someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing.”
“You risked your life to help people you love… I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions.”
“We started this thing together, and that’s how we’ll finish it. I promise.”
“They popped out of the snow! Like daisies!”
“Are we in this together or not?”
“Let’s go kick some honey buns!”
“Keep your eyes open. I know they’re here.”
“Your walls and armies have fallen. And now it’s your turn. Bow to me.”
“No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.”
“You! You took away my victory!”
“You don’t have a plan?!”
“It looks like you’re out of ideas.”
“Stand aside, that creature’s not worth protecting!”
“I’ve heard a great deal about you, [ NAME ].”
“You have saved us all.”
“I think I’ve been away from home long enough.”
“Are they allowed to do that?”
“You… you fight good.”
“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.”
“They’re gifts, to honor our family.”
“Great, they brought home a sword. If you ask me they should’ve brought home a [ WOMAN/MAN ].”
“Woo! Sign me up for the next war!”
“Would you like to stay forever?”
“Dinner would be great.”
“You know, they get it from my side of the family!”
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Send “💭” For A Thought My Muse Had of Yours!
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can y'all send some asks that are like “thoughts on ______”
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Hidan thinking he'd win a Battle Royale with the rest of the Akatsuki which would involve
Someone with several hearts
Someone with bodies that cannot feel pain and don't need their organs to move and fight
Do I know who would win? Eh, I'd probably say Pain or Obito. Although Konan would definitely be a strong contender, especially with prep time, since she'd be able to do her 10 minutes of explosion thing, which would have killed Obito if he didn't have plot armour.
#out of chakra#out of chidori#although I don't remember precisely but isn't Hidan basically the weakest member of the Akatsuki?#all he brings to the table is his rituals and immortality#but I think it was mentioned in the fight with him that he was fairly slow and his scythe was for spilling blood more than doing damage#which does play into his ability but#if you know what his ritual does then it's easy enough to stop him from doing it#you just have to get him out of that circle on the ground#nyeh#this has been your irregularly scheduled Cobalt rant
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"Shush, you are my sinful, naughty little devil wife~" He teased, giving her a gentle boop on the nose. "It's definitely a sin how beautiful you are, for starters~" He teased, giving her a short, sweet kiss on the lips. "And I know just how lustful you can be, of course~"
@avengernomore replied: "I would say all sins." Sasuke don't tease her.
"Why do you think the worst of me???" Sakura pouted a small bit, "I'm not very prideful, or greedy, and I work to much to be considered a sloth." If anything, she thought pretty lowly of herself for the most part, "Okay maybe I can be a bit greedy when it comes to you but you're my future husband, I'm allowed to be!"
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Send “Deep Azure” to find My Muse in a Hot Spring..
Or send “Heated Azure” to find them in a Hot Spring…NAKED…
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texts from last night meme 2 (nsfw)
[text]: THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
[text]: I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
[text]: I’d apply for another job, but “staring out windows crying” is not a hot qualification right now.
[text]: the back of my hand read, “say no to drugs.” my palm read, “say yes to shots.” when the fuck did I write that?
[text]: He gave me the “I’ve pictured you while jerkin off” look
[text]: I’m just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
[text]: Correct me if I’m wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
[text]: Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
[text]: was it me or did you scream ‘champagne motherfucker’ when you punched him in the face ??
[text]: They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
[text]: New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
[text]: Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I’m fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
[text]: its gotten to the point where if her hand isn’t on my butt i think we’re in a fight
[text]: I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I’ve never met before in my life
[text]: At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
[text]: It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
[text]: You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
[text]: ‘go have sex with her’ does not count as wingman
[text]: someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower… i am actually speechless
[text]: You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
[text]: Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
[text]: Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
[text]: Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
[text]: You know how I told you I don’t have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
[text]: Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
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texts from last night meme (nsfw)
[text]: I don’t know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
[text]: You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
[text]: WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
[text]: At least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
[text]: If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don’t pay him back by boning his daughter.
[text]: You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
[text]: Life’s too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
[text]: It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
[text]: Maybe it’s cause you slapped him with a pancake last night
[text]:You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
[text]:Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
[text]: Just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if I was gonna buy it now and I laughed and asked her why I’d want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
[text]: I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
[text]: Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
[text]: Why didn’t you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
[text]: You better buy her a motherfucking bunny rabbit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
[text]:I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say “ hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me”
[text]: You were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig’s cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
[text]: I’m still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I’ll be there in a few
[text]: This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with your ex
[text]: Well that’s my green light to bang your brother. It’s not real til it’s on fb
[text]: So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren’t actually the same thing.
[text]: Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a “pants optional” weekend?
[text]: Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
[text]: We found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn’t want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn’t be together.
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Blushy, flustered, sentence starters
“I’m not blushing, shut up”
“You’re easy to fluster, huh? That’s cute”
“Hey, your face is really red are you okay?”
“I’m so embarrassed I can feel the redness of my face”
“Bet I can make you blush!”
“You probably think my face is red because of you but it’s not”
“You’re making me blush”
“D-Don’t look at me”
“It was just a joke you don’t have to get all red faced”
“You’re as red as a tomato”
“What’s with your face, are you sick?”
“You’re cute when you blush”
“Ha, it’s so easy to tease you and your reactions are the best”
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i am
SO SORRY
for spamming all y'all with ask memes x.x
i will unalive myself in minecraft later to regain my honour
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....
WAIT HOW MANY OF THOSE DID I END UP REBLOGGING INSTEAD OF ADDING TO THE QUEUE-
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Send me a ☤ and my muse will wake yours up by putting their face between your muses legs
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Send 🫂 to just hug my muse. No reason. Hug them.
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