#the only older twin leo fic i will ever write

[goodlucktai]

too well tangled

rise of the tmnt post-movie / canon divergent word count: 1k characters: disaster twins

this was my bonus piece for the digital @turtlestogetherzine !

title borrowed from atticus—“you will never be unloved by me / you are too well tangled in my soul”

read on ao3

x

So it turns out that sixteen minutes in the prison dimension is about six months outside it. Give or take. 

Donnie calls it a temporal differential. Leo’s third day back was spent being gently interrogated within an inch of his life. For every answer he gave, Donnie’s face got a little darker. 

He seems a lot older than the last time Leo saw him. Everyone does. They all look at Leo like he’ll disappear into thin air if they blink too many times. 

He expects it to wear off eventually. He’s only confined to the infirmary for a week and a half, and on bedrest for a week after that, but even a month later Raph and Mikey continue to stick to him like glue. 

“I’m okay,” Leo tells them, when his bad leg seizes up and he staggers on his way to the breakfast table and Mikey’s face crumples horribly. Raph just huffs and lifts Leo clean off his feet to carry him the rest of the way. Swallowing past the uncertain lump in his throat, Leo adds playfully, “I mean, I’m not one to complain about the all-star treatment, but—”

“Good,” Raph rumbles, “then don’t.”

“Sorry if we’re being annoying,” Mikey says with a brightness in his tone that doesn’t sit quite right. He’s said that like fifty times since Leo came back. “We just—we missed you, Lee.” 

And what is Leo supposed to say to that? 

“Annoying? Please,” he scoffs. “I’m the king of everything obnoxious. You couldn’t annoy me if you tried.”

When Raph lowers him into a seat, Leo lifts his arm in invitation for Mikey to scoot his chair up right next to his, and then wraps him up in a tight hug. Mikey slots into his side like he belongs there, and he does, he always will, but it’s just a bit different than Leo remembers. 

Mikey is still his little brother. But only by a few months now. Leo’s seventeenth birthday came and went without him. 

And a part of him—this nameless little part that lives in the back of his mind, that’s lived there ever since dad made him team leader and ripped the rug out from under his feet—thinks that’s why Donnie doesn’t know how to be around him anymore.

He’s a constant presence. He’s a solid pillar for Leo to lean against when his legs don’t want to hold him up. But they don’t know what to say to each other. That unspoken understanding, that twin thing—it’s gone. 

Or so Leo thinks. 

Big Mama is more of a weird estranged relative than a mortal enemy these days, but she’s an entrepreneur first, eccentric wine aunt second. When she gets a big business idea, all bets are off. Leo can kind of respect that. It’s really thrilling and a little fun trying to match wits with a criminal mastermind, like high-stakes 5D chess. 

But her invitations could use some work. Sending a bunch of burly yokai in Grand Nexus uniforms to intercept the turtles on their way to Run of the Mill for dinner is a scheme that could have used a bit more time on the workshop table. 

Immediately Leo’s brothers close ranks around him. He’s allowed to run around in his leg brace at this point, but he has, in no uncertain terms, NOT been cleared to fight. He can tell from the set of Raph and Mikey’s shoulders that they’re beyond ticked off, but he can’t read Donnie’s posture at all. 

It’s bad timing, but suddenly Leo is preoccupied with those dark little thoughts he’s been having recently. Maybe Donnie isn’t happy to have him around. It’s been a lot of extra work, right? Dealing with the prodigal brother’s physical therapy and night terrors aside, now Donnie can’t even pick up some pizza without having to play bodyguard. 

So Leo is distracted—sue him. He’s got a lot going on. When an owl guard grabs him by the arm, he’s not ready for it. The yank backwards causes him to stumble, bad knee bending underneath him. 

The guard seems to loom over him for a moment. The evening gloom of the alleyway and the lurid glow of a nearby neon sign makes Leo’s brain sprint right back to the prison dimension. A distressed chirp works its way out of him before he can fully reorient himself. Add that to his ever-growing list of Good Reasons To Fake His Own Death. 

Big Mama’s goon looks surprised by the sound, grip relenting on Leo’s arm immediately. He wouldn’t do that if he were here for villainous reasons. So Big Mama probably actually considers kidnapping via sudden ambush to be a halfway decent method of picking her nemeses-slash-nephews up for an evening visit. 

Leo only has a second to think, Okay, I can work with this, turning up the charm and pretending like he can’t still feel the aftershocks of panic, before he’s being yanked again. 

This time he’s pulled right in against Donnie’s side, a strong arm around his carapace. There’s a burst of light and warmth—bright purple and overheated electronics, he’d know his brother’s ninpo anywhere—and they’re surrounded by a gleaming, glowing arsenal. 

The owl guard didn’t have a chance in hell. Donnie still doesn’t really look at Leo, not once as Mikey and Raph rush over, not even on the empty-handed trek back home. 

But he sits next to Leo on the couch while Mikey enlists Raph and papa’s help with dinner since their pizza run failed. The bickering and Mikey’s cooking playlist create a familiar, comfortable backdrop where it swells out of the kitchen. Donnie’s shoulder knocks against Leo’s. It feels like how it used to. 

Before he can lose courage, Leo blurts, “The thing I miss most from before is being twins with you.”

As soon as he says it, he wants to take it back. This is more mortifying than all of those initial grueling physical therapy sessions combined. 

He’s scrambling for an escape route that isn’t just hobbling away as fast as he can, or portaling to the bottom of the ocean, when Donnie suddenly says, “Draxum said we hatched together. We’ve been together all our lives. You’re pulling our twin card just because I'm finally taller than you?”

Leo sputters. “By an inch!”

Donnie raises an eyebrow at him, waiting with uncharacteristic patience for Leo to catch up. Maybe that’s what he’s been doing this whole time. 

Eyes stinging, Leo slouches into Donnie’s side. The softshell matches him, his cheek coming to rest on the top of Leo’s head. It reminds Leo of hugging Mikey earlier that morning at the breakfast table. 

Leo still fits here. There’s a good chance he always will. 

“Guess this finally makes me the older twin, huh, Nardo?”

It surprises Leo into laughter, maybe the first big loud laugh to come tripping out of him since well before the invasion. Conversation in the kitchen grinds to a halt and Mikey and Raph come barreling out a second later all covered in flour, eager to catch him in the act, to get in on it. 

“Sorry, Tello,” Leo says, grinning, not very sorry at all. “Not in this lifetime.”

[14muffinz]

@blackfire-fanfiction it's 2am, but here's the fic as promised

first week

words: 2169

Notes: i didn’t remember the rise timeline, so i’m just going in the order on wikipedia. There’s a lot of food mentions because i forgot to eat dinner and i got hungry. Sue me.

~~~

it’s a bit weird right? that over there we’re almost fifteen, and then over here we’re almost fourteen? wonder how that worked out

shit, right. this is supposed to be important info only, sorry

Leon’s pretty sure that it’s pure luck that’s holding the page of the notebook together. He’s written down so many things in preparation of swapping, only to wake up the next day still in ‘his’ body, and have to erase it all.

The body’s not actually his. There’s a bit of a silent agreement that he belongs in this world and the other guy belongs in the other, just because that’s usually where they are. The longest Leon’s ever been on the other end was a couple of weeks, he doesn’t know those brothers like he knows the ones here.

Plus, no hate to the other guy and whatever he’s got going for himself, but it’s weird and wrong to be the same age as Raph and Mikey. To somehow be the soft spoken one, even though that’s almost the complete opposite of who Leon is.

The switching’s been more frequent than normal as of late. It’s got them both on edge, from what Leon can tell. Unfortunately, you can only write so fast in a notebook, and apparently the other guy’s barely touched a keyboard so even if they could find a way to stop Donnie from hacking everything tech-y that they own, it wouldn’t be any faster. But they have talked about it, sort of. Mostly about who has taken notice, with maybe one or two theories thrown in.

Good news, countdowns ticking. They’re about to be fifteen in the other world, and Leon just has a feeling that something’s going to happen over there. He doesn’t want the other guy to miss out on that, so he’s doing anything he can to stay up, even though he’s not entirely sure if that’ll prevent a switch or not.

He was planning on staying up late either way, if he’s honest. After all, fifteen over there means that he and Donnie are about to be fourteen over here, and that’s pretty important. Leon, for several reasons, does not know if he’s actually fourteen, but it’s the thought that counts.

At about five minutes to midnight, Donnie lifts up the curtain leading into Leo’s room, settling himself next to Leo on the bed, and silently handing over a party horn. Leo very, very carefully sliders the notebook underneath his sheets.

Right as the clock strikes twelve, in a mutual silent agreement, they blow into the horn, the paper uncurling and making no noise at the end. Damn, that’s overwhelming.

“I blew first,” they both say in perfect sync, before turning two glares on one another. There’s no way to prove it, as always, but Leon will fight for his status as the older twin, please and thank you. With nothing to decide it for them, they usually resort to things like rock paper scissors or who can do something first games. They never warn each other, either, it only adds to the fun.

One of the many reasons that Leon prefers his Donnie to the other one. He might pretend to be all distant and cool, but he’s still Leon’s twin and it doesn’t seem like he plans on dropping that title any time soon. But other Donnie spends most of his time cooped up in his lab with the small amount of materials he has, or with other Mikey. Having the ‘twin’ interactions with other Raph just isn’t the same.

“Considering I am wearing my glasses and have been caffeinated, it’s reasonable to assume that I would have a quicker reaction time than you.”

“We both I have the better reaction time, Dontron,” Leon argues. “And that I’m much faster than you.”

“Lies.”

“Are they?”

⠀

⠀

The surface is weird over here. Like, it’s cool finally seeing what’s above this lair, but it was hard trying not to act underwhelmed. The other world’s a lot more colourful. I have a feeling you won’t like it up there.

They finally tried pizza, and thank goodness they are hooked. I don’t think I could last too much longer on algae and worms, haha. Definitely need to track down Mike Tony Lou’s, though, I need to get them hooked before it’s too late.

Onto the good stuff! We are very, very close to figuring out what mutated us. We found another canister tonight! And a lot of other stuff, make sure that nobody else bothers you before you read this because it is a lot.

“You doing your writing again?”

Leo can’t help but jump, looking out his open bedroom door, where Donnie is peering in. He winces, frantically shutting the worn and slightly water-stained notebook shut, sliding it underneath his covers before Donnie realises that it’s one he stole from Raph. “Uh. Yeah.”

“Cool.” Donnie pauses for a moment, before continuing as though nothing happened. “Do you want breakfast?”

No. Absolutely not. Ever since the first time he’d had real food in the other world he has not liked eating over here. It’s disgusting. Why are his brothers still okay with eating algae and worms?

“What time’s it?”

Donnie barely hesitates before responding, “Nine-ish.”

“I’m going to sneak out,” Leo decides. It’s prime pizza hour! He can’t ignore that!

“Are you crazy?” Donnie hisses.

Ehn, maybe. Not that he can tell his brother that. Leo just wants to have some bread, so that he has a reason to ask for a toaster, so that he can have toast. Master planning, very important leader stuff that he’s thinking about.

“If Dad doesn’t know, he can’t yell at me,” Leo decides. That’s not the card he’ll usually play in this dimension, but sometimes a little misbehaviour for the sake of the greater good (his family’s taste buds) is worth it.

Donnie considers this. Leo can’t tell how serious he is, his brother mostly just looks tired. “Good luck.”

He proceeds to walk away.

Leo goes back to updating his other self on the Kraang situation.

⠀

⠀

… I’m not entirely sure what happened to S.B, actually, just that he made it out of that fight. One of us should probably bring that up to our brothers. He could cause problems.

By the way, we have cereal finally. You’re welcome. Make sure Raph gets his first, you know how he is.

Leon stares down at the notebook, shocked by all the stuff detailed in his other self’s ramble about the last two weeks-or-so. It was a lot, and Leon doesn’t think that the weird shapeshifting dudes and creepy lab guy really hold up in comparison.

He crams the notebook between his mattress and the wall, before beginning to stretch his fingers and toes, adjusting himself to the unnaturally large hands that this body is stuck with. He swears, if it weren’t for the switching, one of them would never have heard of wrists or ankles, because they barely exist in this body.

For the first time in a while, he’s not ready to face the day. So many unknowns have just been thrown at him, and he’s not sure how casual to be about them. Silence is always an option, but Leon’s not a quiet guy. He’s the jokester, the face man! Even without the eye bananas from the other body that he loves oh-so-very much, he wants to keep that role here.

Not the leader.

Goddammit, other Leo. If you were that jealous of Ra– big Raph, why didn’t you just say so?

The differences are apparent pretty much the moment he steps into the main area of the lair. Mikey is sitting in the pit with a plate that only has two slices of bread on it, and he’s biting into the third. In this Mikey’s usual chaotic neutral fashion, he’s biting right into the side, crust and all. Beside him, Donnie is leaning over his own notebook, scribbling something down frantically.

It’s not, like, weird or anything, but last time Leon was here, algae and worms were pretty much the only thing these guys ate and Donnie would usually be in his own space rather than in the pit while he works.

He’s good at rolling with things, though, and he’s too hungry to care.

Slipping into the kitchen without offering a good morning, Leon comes across Raph leaning against the counter with a bowl of cereal in his hand. He’s practically asking to spill it, wow.

“Morning,” Raph greets shortly.

“Morning,” Leon returns, already looking around the room trying to identify which cabinets have probably been filled with actual food. One of the worst parts about swapping is not knowing where anything is, like that one time his other self washed his mask and forgot to tell Leon and so he spent the entire morning tracking it down.

Whatever, the biggest one probably has something in it. Raph doesn’t seem to care that much anyways.

“Hey dudes!” Mikey shouts from the other room. “Wanna try and set up a ramp for a bit? I’m bored!”

Heck. Yes. Leon misses the giant ramps from back home, like, all the time. He’s going stir crazy in here! All the time. All the time. Trust him on this.

“Be there in a minute!” He responds eagerly.

Hopefully other April plans on coming over together, he really wants to meet her. He’s been wondering if there’s an April here or not, and he finally has an answer.

⠀

⠀

so those green bugs kinda sorta came back out the portal thing with us. and went everywhere. so that is a bit of a problem, and we don’t really know how to handle it yet. another mutant popped up btw, a pig dude. really weird, 0/10 would not recommend fighting

you also missed the rat flu by like two days. don’t ask raph what happened, because he is a lying liar who lies, but fingers crossed that you’re around for it next year

we’re going out to see a wrestling match wednesday night, no april

The nice part about this world is that Leo can spend two minutes reflecting on what he just read with his head in his hands, just trying to make sure he read that all right. He’s not sure what he was expecting when he showed up, considering how his own week’s been, but it definitely wasn’t this.

He’d thought that the whole brain aliens thing had upped his weirdness tolerance, but an entire magic city underneath New York is pushing it a lot. As is the teleporting dog/cat, sentient vines(?), and all the other madness that his other self has apparently dealt with.

But you know what? This is the dimension where he’s able to speak his mind without getting weird looks. If he told these brothers that this is insane, he’s pretty sure at least one of them would agree with him.

Leo rushes up the stairs and skids into the kitchen, being greeted by the wonderful smell of this Mikey’s cooking. Absolutely the best part of showing up here is the pleasant wakeups. As much as he loves training (he loves it, he loves it so much, even when Raph is constantly showing him up) sometimes it’s nice to just have a peaceful morning.

“Morning Leo!” Mikey greets happily, moving around the kitchen expertly.

For how much the other Leo wrote down this week, very little seems to have changed.

“We have anything planned today?” He asks, hoping that he sounds more tired than quiet. Leo’s not the loudest person unless he’s quoting something, but the other guy is and he spends more time in this body, so Leo just has to deal.

Mikey shrugs. “Raph wants us to head topside tonight and do more hero stuff, probably. I think that he should be saving his energy for when we watch the match tomorrow.”

Raph wants to do hero stuff? Really? Raph from the other world spends most patrols complaining about how Leo leads the team, or just having to waste time patrolling in general. Which is weird, because Leo knows that those brothers are excited by being topside, including Raph. (Maybe this is something he should prompt his other self about?)

For the next few minutes, he’s left awkwardly standing around as Mikey finishes up a batch of pancakes, trying to think of any more questions that he needs to ask before he starts the day. He has several questions about what’s happened on this side of things in relation to those bugs, that secret city, and more, but he doesn’t know how to ask without sounding suspicious quite yet. He’ll just have to go off of context clues.

“You look tired,” Mikey notes as they both finally settle around the table.

He does? Whoops. It’s not the first time this Mikey’s said that to him, so maybe it’s just a swapping thing.

“I’m fine,” he responds.

~~~

more

[birdylion]

Fanfic tag game

Found a 2 year old tag game in my likes and I don't know if I ever replied! Thank you @hermitknut for tagging me all this time ago :D

AO3 name: birdylion on ao3, Wayfarer back on fanfiktion.de

Fandom(s): My first big fandom was HP. I wrote a little bit in German for Firefly and Discworld, and then in English for Green Rider, Rogue One, Good Omens, Mass Effect (trilogy + Andromeda), Rivers of London and The Memoirs of Lady Trent.

Number of fics: 23 on ao3. There are some, especially older HP stories on ff.de, that I haven't archived on ao3.

1. Fic you spent the most time on: I have a 70k unpublished (German) Minerva McGonagall/Pomona Sprout schoolgirl romance on my hard drive that would need a lot of reworking in order to be in a shape I would consider putting out there. I worked on that for a year on and off, and then for a summer intensely. From my published work: Probably my RoL one, Bintumani, because it's 12k and the words have to have come from somewhere. Also I spent a lot of time conversing with my beta reader and editing the fic.

2. Fic you spent the least time on: Sleepless Night, the 200 word Good Omens ficlet that I literally typed on my phone instead of sleeping.

3. Longest fic: Bintumani, my Rivers of London travel adventure with Elsie Winstanley and Mamusu Grant in the late 1970s in Sierra Leone which I wrote for yuletide last year.

4. Shortest fic: again Sleepless Night with 200 words :D

5. Most hits: For my English works: What we're made of, my trans Viktor Krum with Hermione at the yule ball HP fic that I wrote for the Trans Wizarding Tournament (a charity auction for trans organisations). But overall, if I count fanfiktion.de, it's Spürst du die Funken, my Dean Thomas/Seamus Finnigan getting together that I still want to translate into English. I have the half finished translation on my hard drive.

6. Most kudos: What we're made of.

7. Most comment: on ao3 Bintumani, on ff.de it's an old HP oneshot collection

8. Fave fic you wrote: hard to tell, and I'll just copy hermitknut's words: "normally whenever I’ve just finished something that one’s my favourite :)" but if I had to chose, I'd say my Lady Trent fic, Studying Dragons, if only because I love the books so much.

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: oh that's easy! I want to expand on To Serve the Sacred, my latest ME Andromeda fic. It's part of a big worldbuilding headcanon I have and I would love to put more of it into a story. Much of the worldbuilding (and the story I linked above) is about the game's Bad Guys, and a) I would need to make readers care about it and b) it would be more interesting to write it from the perspective of known characters. The worldbuilding reveals/twists that I want to do are very clear in my head, and I have a vague idea how to set it up in a story, but ... I need to work out the details, especially which characters I'd use as POV characters. Probably the other Ryder twin, but they'd need a team too, and the characters are only slowly starting to take shape. Also it's such a big project that I've put it on the backburner for now bc I don't have the time for writing plot / novel length fic in English.

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: I'm only writing in German right now because that flows easier. My fandom of choice is that one German detective/crime show with the dysfunctional homoerotic dynamic between two of the leads that gets to no1 trending on tumblr once year when there's a new episode. This is now for a story about teenage queer self discovery: (Sorry I tried putting it through Google Translate to share an English version but the translation is terrible.)

Leo stellte sein Rad ab und setzte sich zu Adam auf den Felsen. Groß genug für zwei war der schließlich. Auch, wenn Leo sich damit halb an Adam lehnte. Das war okay. Machten sie ständig. Es war doch okay, oder?

Ein paar Tage nach Ferienbeginn hatte Caro ihm erzählt, dass sie auf dem Halberg Open Air gesehen hatte, wie sich zwei ihrer Klassenkameradinnen während Tokio Hotel geküsst hatten. ‚Cool, dass sie so dazu stehen‘, hatte sie gesagt. ‚Ganz schön mutig. Ich könnte das ja nicht.‘

Leo war nicht schwul, aber wenn er es wäre, dann wäre es Adam vielleicht nicht recht, wenn Leo ihm so nahe war. Wenn er es wäre, dann müsste Leo fairerweise aufhören, neben Adam zu sitzen.

I'm tagging @shakespearerants, @weatheredlaw, @the-moon-loves-the-sea and uh everyone else who follows me and writes fic. Seriously, tell me about it.

[siri-ike]

Authers note: This is a long fic, so prepare yourself... emotionally. Also, there is so much text before you even get to the prompt. Ever heard of a ficlet? Neither have I.

"Took you guys long enough"

Leo had come up with a thousand puns and oneliners for when he'd eventually get rescued, but now he couldn't remember a single one. One was something about catching them at the next alien invasion, or maybe it was... hold on

"Eww, are we on Staten Island?!"

Is this real? It's real this time! He never would have fantasized about being rescued to Staten Island. It's barely an improvement over the prison dimension. He'd imagined being rescued into the 1984 red carpet showing of Crouching Shrimp Hidden Tiger Prawn or that Cute waiter from Quesos riding in shirtless on a unicorn and then they would, heh, um, never mind. Leo's pointy head starts to hurt, letting him know he'd been crying. When did he start crying? When did Raph pick him up? Whose van is this?

"Leonardo. Leo, are you awake?"

Can't tell whose voice it is. How long does it take to forget a voice?

"Leo look at me. You need to stay awake."

That one's Donnie, no doubt about it. His face is just like it was in the photo, rectangular and blurry and real, he's right here in front of him. Leo manages to hold out a hand which is immediately grabbed by his real twin who isn't imaginary.

"Jupiter Jim has nothing on me now."

Giggles. Somewhere. Mikey. Definitely.

"That's great, can you tell me what day it is?"

"Definitely one of them. Ends in a Y. Full of hours."

"Leo, focus. Can you tell me... something. Common, what were those questions you taught us?"

Most people wouldn't realize this, but Leo knows Donnie's panicking. It's a bad look for him. Where's the emotionally unavailable bad boy. Now he's just this vague outline in a van, next to a couple of other vague outlines and some human boy. Did they know a human boy? Did they meet during the fight?

Leo's train of thought was interrupted by the sound of an even tinier little brother (hehe younger twin barb)

"How many animals can you name starting with the letter B?"

Great question! Leo's awsome at multiple choice.

"Bullhop, Big mama, Beebop, Bambi, Boss Bruce, Baloo, b bb, uh, 'Bearto."

Ha, Leo knows lots of Bs

"Ok, not bad. Not the assignment either, but overall, I'm gonna take this as a 'not as bad as it could be'."

Says Donnie's voice, but his face is gone. It's faded with everything else. Soon, nothing remains but the warm comforting feeling of being held by a big wall of muscle.

Leo doesn't remember the following 17 days as he was firmly unconscious. For 2 weeks after that he would only recall the occasional moment. Waking up to find Mikey cuddled up to him, Raph reading a book out loud (to the best of his ability), April studying or dad humming a familiar sounding lullaby. These were all common sights, but not nearly as often did he see them as Donnie. Donnie was seemingly always there. The others were clearly taking shifts, but Donnie would be there even when someone else was too. Sometimes, though, he would be alone. Those times, it seemed like Leo was talking to him. But Leo knew he wasn't talking.

"I'm not giving up on him!"

Mikey cries out. He can do this, Casey said future him had opened a time gate to send him there. A portal to another dimention can't be that different from a portal to another time, right? A spark crackles in front of him. It's working! Casey was right! Just have to do it about 20 years earlier. How hard can that be? A hand on Mikeys shoulder snaps him out of his head.

"We're here Mikey, together."

And then another hand. The portal grows bigger as he tries to fill his thoughts with memories of his older brother, teaching him to skateboard, watching Lou Jitsu together, he still hadn't writing that crossover he'd promised to get around to. Thick tears welled up in his eyes as he giggled to himself. Theres Leo, right beyond his hands, they burn. It hurts so much. Fu- Fundo, Kusari-Fundo, this hurts. No! Leo's more important.

"Took you guys long enough"

Just push past the pain. It'll all be worth it; in the future. Suddenly, Raphs ninpō arm shoots past him, reaching straight towards Leo. As soon as they're both out, both hands dissappear from Mikey's shoulders, and the cracks forming on his arms burn brighter and hotter. How do you close a portal? He's never opened a portal before, unless you count the hidden city doorways, but those close on their own. Will this close on its own? There's little time to think as the Kraang is headed towards them. Picture something. A locked door, big strong arms holding the Kraang stuck, a treasure chest with scary stuff inside like in that one story with the monsters in it. And just like that, the portal closes, and the monster is locked away. But the burning continues. Mikey turns around and runs back to where his brothers kneel huddled around Leo, who lay on the ground. He doesn't move for what feels like minutes but probably weren't really. Finaly he opens his eyes and...

"Eww, are we on Staten Island?"

There's your que. Time to squeeze your team leader as hard as you can.

"Leo. Leo! Leo, wake up!"

Donnie screamed, and time seemed to speed up. Before Mikey could figure out what was going on, he was being dragged into a van by Casey Jr. Must have gotten a little too absorbed in the moment, Mikey had pretty much forgotten he existed.

"Leonardo. Leo, are you awake?"

It always feels a little weird hearing one of their names out loud, their full names. It's always 'red, purple, blue, orange, Don Tron, Nardo, orthello, Peaches, bootyyyshaker, jello, Donald, red angel of preventing harm, Donovan, Angelo, pancakes... Leo comes up with most of these to tease Donnie, so it makes sence that he'd have so many.

"Leo, focus. Can you tell me... something. Common, what were those questions you taught us?"

Oh, right focus Mikey. Your brothers need you.

"How many animals can you name starting with the letter B?"

That was the only question Mikey bothered to memorize. And given Leo's awnser, he'd clearly asked it a few too many times. Do yokai count as animals? Mutants and cartoon characters definitely do, but he might have to deduct points for Boss Bruce. And who the shell is Bebop? Raph gives Mikey a disaproving look. Did he hear that? It's not even a real swear.

"No, no,no,no. Leo, stay awake. Come on, please."

Donnie Beggs desperately, he's been showing a lot of facial expressions for one day. A lot for donnie anyway. He'll definitely need to talk about that later. And Raph. Who knows what those Kraang did to him? And dad? And April? They must have been terrified. What about Casey? Oh my God, his whole world is gone. Even though we won, he lost everyone he knew!

"Mikey."

He feels her hands on his scales, one holding his own and the other gently wiping a tear from his cheek.

"How ya doin'? Do you need ice chips, too?"

She takes her hand away from his face and reaches for a to-go cup full of ice to offer him. The ice helps. It's one of the psychology tricks he'd picked up from the internet. His scientific explanation to the team had been: Can't panic when mouth full of ice. Which, everyone but Donnie had exepted without question. This led to two hours of research, resulting in an entire presentation that could have been sumed up as: Can't panic when mouth full of ice.

"Thanks."

Mikey finally mumbled when his heart rate had slowed back down enough to speak. April didn't bother with a response, instead focusing on Mikeys hands. They hadn't stopped shaking since closing the portal.

"How are the others?"

"They're being taken care of. What happened to your arms?"

Mikey looks down at his arms to see the cracks still there. The intense burning light they emitted before had dulled to a smoldering glow, enough to slightly alter the hue of everything nearby. Something else is off, though, besides the light. A low humm. Coming from the cracks. He holds his elbow up to his ear, and from there, he can barely hear anything. He let's go of the stabilizing force that is April's tight grip on his hands and holds them up to his ear. His face turns pale as he tries to convince himself that it's not real. It's not what he thinks... The monster is locked away.

"Mikey, it's over."

"Leo never gave up on us, I'm not giving up on him."

A sprak appears infront of his smallest brother that soon turns into a big glowing portal. Could that work? Could they get Leo back?

"Mikey"

Shock and astonishment colored Raphs words.

"Whatever you're doing, don't stop."

Raph has never been the most observant or understandy or word-smart compared to his brothers, but any muscle head could see (and hear) how much Mikey was struggling with this. And without thinking, Raph placed his hand on Mikeys sholder.

"We're here, Mikey, together."

He didn't even know he could take some or the strain away. He just thought he could offer some encouragement or something. But Raphs also not one to question a good thing (or most things). It burns, holy cr- carapace, this hurts a lot. And not in the way getting punced of falling from a high place hurts. More like how getting your hands cut up with a burning knife hurts. The 'lasting side affects' kind of way. But it's worth it. 'Cause there's Leo. His mouth moved. Did he say something? Hope it wasn't important. Here goes. Raph reached out into the void in front of him. Further and further into the cold inky darkness. Raph is fast, especially for such a big guy. Much faster than Kraang.

"Eww, are we on Staten Island?"

Sometimes, it seems like they actively try to raise Raphs blood pressure. Sometimes, it feels like his brothers just want to get themselves killed. Sometimes, they just plain get on his nerves. But right now, it's really hard to be upset. Even if he probably should be. Right now, there's nothing Raph would like more than to pick them all up and carry them home, and when they'd get home, he'd just keep carrying them around forever. Like a bunch of stuffed animals.

A van speeds towards them and stops about 3 full Aprils away. Like if she were lying on the ground, there would be room for 3 of her. The car door slid open, and Casey jumped out so fast, Raph had barely gotten up with Leo in his arms before he'd closed the distance. He's not gonna get to pick them all up, but at least Leo isn't protesting.

"Leo. Leo! Leo, wake up!"

Oh, that must be why. Panic! Panic! Panic! They just saved him he can't be dead! He cantfbd, whadifff, hwueeaj, noOooOo. Usually Raph gets a lot more panicking done in moments like these, but this time he came to a screeching halt when one of Donnies robot spider arms stuck a spider hand sized abount of ice cubes into his mouth. Yuck, it tastes like Kraang. Must have been the ice from his battle shell. How many battle shells have ice in them? Doesn't matter. Let's just get everyone in the van. There's no light in the back of the car. Making the light coming from mikeys hands and arms that much more noticeable. Weird, the glowing usualy stops sooner. Aprils here, too, driving the van. Raph would recognize those hair poofs anywhere. And Casey has like 6 giant first aid dufflebags. Do they need that many, or were they just being cautious. That question is soon answered when Raph watches Casey search through multiple bags before finding some sort of medical thingy. They aren't fully stocked. We're they salvaged or stolen, though? Stay on track.

"Do you have any more ice?"

"No, sorry."

"...it's fine. Tasted like Kraang anyway."

Why does he even want more? It was gross, stupid. Bad ice. It would be really nice to have some more, though.

"I see a Chick-fil-A near by, we could get ice there."

"Boo, Chick-fil-A."

What? Is he even conscious?

"Ok, well, it's missing a wall, and it doesn't look like anyone is there. We could just go in and grab a glassfull of ice."

Raph's not sure this Casey is a good influence. Heroes don't steal. Although, they did just prevent the apocalypse. That probably makes it ok.

Da-m-madge-per-second, Casey's a little to comfortable stealing. Guess he did grow up in the apocalypse. Maybe it was normal there.

"Guys, check it out. They just had a bunch of food lying around in there. The past is awesome."

Casey said as he dropped another first aid kit in the pile. Ok, so he just takes these wherever he sees em. Did he pick this habit up in the future? Makes sense. That future did sound pretty awful. At least they know it's not going to happen. Casey gonna need a room when they get home, might have to clear out more tunnels. Or maybe they can find more train cars. Wait, Casey's human though, would he need a human place to live, like April's apartment. A rattling infront of his face snaps Raph out of his head.

"Do you want some ice chips, the cold shocks your brain enough to stop the panic. We had something similar in the future, Uncle Tello made these marbles that freeze themselves. Or at least that's what he said they did. I'm pretty sure Master Michelangelo made them and they just didn't tell people 'cause he wasn't supposed to use magic unnecessary, cause he, uhm, nevermind."

It would be like his little brother to ignore warnings. Carefull isn't even in his, uh, those, um, word books, that tell you what words mean. Raph chomps down on a handful of ice and... breathe.

"Boss Bruce, Baloo, b bb, uh, 'Bearto."

Raph looks at Mikey, whose arms are still glowing a bit. The cracks look just as bad as they were. He looks at his own hand. The cracks are barely visible now. It just looks extra dry. Raph looks at Mikey again. This time, he must have had some sort of look on his face because Mikey seemed uncomfortable with the eyecontact.

Donnie's nice and accurate account of events in exact detail and order of occurrence, category 12: world threatening disaster 3. Codenamed the Kraang invasion of 2022. Part 7: Saving Leo

He cried. He never cries. He didn't even cry when his favorite pizza place was destroyed. It doesn't help. Leo's gone, Leo's gone, Leo's gone. And being on Staten Island deffinetly isn't helping his mental state either. Maybe there's a way to fix this. He knows Leo. He could just... make a robot replica and program it with his memories, or, or a clone, Draxum would probably know something about that, he would actually have to interact with him, but Leo is worth temporary Barry time. Wait, no, Mikey and Raph would never approve. Stupid 'morals'.

A bright orange light bursts into being a few meters away. What are they doing? When did Raph get up? Is that. Mikey screaming? Did something else happen?

"...together."

Together. They need my help with something. Donnie rushes over to his two remaining brothers, seeing Raphs hand on mikeys left sholder, he places his own on his right. A burning sensation crawls up from his palm to his elbow. It hurts, but it's nothing compared to the tentacles. Donnie would take fire over slime any day. Why did the ship have to be slimy? It would have been so much easier if it had been sharp, hot, or just full of guns. That would have been- SHH- SHELL-don's spare processing chips. Mikey just opened a portal. That's the prison dimension. It has to be. That blue blurry blob must be Leo. It was a little hard to tell since he'd lost his contacts at some point. Suddenly, a flash of red light takes over everything, presumably Raph's ninpō. Donnie thought it best to stay near the biggest green blob for the time being. Newton forbid he actually admit he can't see.

"Eww, are we on Staten Island?"

Who needs optic input? That's definitely Leo.

"Leo. Leo! Leo, wake up!"

Dont panic. That won't help. And of course, Raph has to immediately fail the assignment. Dam- Dalton, John Dalton: chemist, physicist, meteorologist. It's definitely not a swear. They were only allowed one for the movie.

That ice was deffinetly contaminated with unknown Kraang juices ~yeugh~. It's okay. It's okay. The cold is what matters, not the taste, besides its going in Raphs mouth, not his own. Now, they can get into the van with Casey. Donnie would prefer April assisting him as she is more predictable, although it's probably best not to have a boy from the apocalypse, where they probably didn't even have cars, driving. Oh good, he has plenty of medical supplies in random amounts and of varying degrees of sanitation. That's fine. Cleanliness can't be that important when it comes to first aid. They all grew up in the sewer for Curie's sake. Their immune systems could ward off bullets.

"Do you have any more ice?"

"No, sorry."

"...it's fine. Tasted like Kraang anyway."

Knew it.

"I see a Chick-fil-A near by, we could get ice there."

"Boo, Chick-fil-A."

Can't disagree on that one.

"Leonardo. Leo, are you awake?"

"Casey, you go get the ice, I'll take care of Leo."

And without a word, he was out the door. He was undoubtedly taught by future Donnie.

"Jupiter Jim has nothing on me now."

Dumdum

"That's great, can you tell me what day it is?"

"Definitely one of them. Ends in a Y. Full of hours."

Stop it. He's trying to help you.

"Leo, focus. Can you tell me... something. Common, what were those questions you taught us?"

"How many animals can you name starting with the letter B?"

He totally had it under control, but thanks for the help, Mikey.

"Bullhop, Big mama, Beebop, Bambi, Boss Bruce, Baloo, b bb, uh, 'Bearto."

"Ok, not bad. Not the assignment either, but overall, I'm gonna take this as a 'not as bad as it could be'."

Although that last one was a bit of a cheat.

"Leo look at me. You need to stay awake."

No. No. No. Calm down, Donnie it's okay he just proved he probably doesn't have a concussion. Maybe he's just exhausted after the fight... OR MAYBE HES BLEEDING OUT!

Wait! Donnie, you're such an idiot. Just check his wrist comm. It should have his vitals on it.

Donnie grabs Leo's arm and brings it closer. This can't be right. Donnie just made these last week. But, it's worn. Not worn as in damaged in the fight. Worn as in aged. It looks like it hasn't been taken off for months. And the record is near capacity.

<Later at the medical bay>

It's going to be brutal. 2500 hours? That's 104 days just in recordings. Three and a half months. And there's no way he was talking the whole time. Leo can talk a lot, but even he must get tired of his voice at some point. And more importantly, does Donnie really want to listen to what is almost certainly his twins decent into madness. Or further into madness in his case. Think about this logically, Donnie. If you listen to the recordings, you'll know what he went through, and you'll be able to give the right treatment. And if the trauma is all psychological, it'll just be Mikeys problem. Here goes, just have to press play. Donnies hand hovers over the button for what must have been a solid minute. But eventually, he does it. Rips of the bandage, so to speak. And braces for impact.

"Mission log. I've managed to avoid the enemy for now"

Is he doing his Jupiter Jim voice?

Part 2

AU where Leo is trapped in the Prison Dimension for months instead of minutes and the only way he gets by with his sanity intact is through recording himself talking to his wrist comm.

When they finally manage to get Leo back and make him rest up to heal, Donnie can’t help but listen to the recordings left behind.

He’s not sure what exactly he’s expecting, only that his subconscious is screaming at him that it has to be heartbreaking, that it has to be torturous.

Instead, what Donnie is subject to is a full thousand hours’ worth of Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu crossover fanfiction. More than one part in the series. Spanning well over a million words.

(The worst part is that it’s actually good.)

[achliegh]

Bronze

Alright, I had this wonderful idea come into my head about Clayton, honestly he deserves his own fic. So here is his version of events! Lots will tie together with Golden so I recommend you read that as well. But you don’t have to of course.

Explaining:

Before Letter is the present.

Letter is updating the lives of the people back home, of whoever wrote it mostly.

After Letter is memory.

The first few letters will be very awkward because writing letters and not being sure what to talk about and what not to talk about is hard and confusing. Stick with me! Yes, this prologue is just a letter.

TW/CW: Discussions of death, military training, smut, cringy jokes, underage drinking, dumb choices, swearing, hospitals, injuries and death caused by someone close, domestic abuse, blood, unfair treatment from police, false allegations.

Beta: @walking-crisis

Some Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Chapter 6:

In Color

“I don’t think you’re ready for that.” Grev was leaning against the door frame, cigar in his mouth and dressed in a casual yet expensive suit. “It will mess with your head.”

“Are you allowed to smoke in here?” Grev snatches the book from his grasp and raises a challenging eyebrow at him. Putting his hands up in surrender he starts walking back towards his bed. Ass out.

“How did you get up?” Grev took his normal seat and put his ankle on his knee to get comfortable.

“I stood up… why is that some miracle or something?”

“A little, you did get shot in the back of the head.” Grev goes back to puffing his cigar, oddly enough it doesn’t smell like a normal cigar. His dad would have one every holiday, he knows what they smell like. Clay is about to sit back on the bed when he hears Grev clear his throat, looking up Clay makes eye contact with the older man for a moment.

“Fine, I changed my mind… you can look. But, only if I get to explain the pictures to you.” Clay sits down and pats the mattress next to him. Grev grumbles under his breath and walks over to sit next to him. He opens the picture album to the first page.

“Is that you?” Clay points to a picture of two small boys looking happy with smiles on their faces, but their eyes told a different story. Even in black and white Clay could see how scared they were.

“That's my twin brother Clark and I, we were 12 years old, working in a factory during the Great Depression.” Clay looks up at him confused, Great depression… but Grev doesn’t look that old. Shaking his head thinking maybe he found the fountain of youth, Clay kept looking at the pictures. Flipping through happy and sad pictures as he turned each page.

“You are in the military?”

“Was, and yes. That was my battle buddy, his name was Gerald Kinzie. He was a high school teacher in San Antonio… I wonder where he is now.”

They turn the page and Clay can’t help but awwwwwww out loud. A picture of Grev with a beautiful woman, he’s kissing her cheek and they appear to be in… wedding? Attire.

“That’s your grandmother and I.”

Dear Clayton,

I know you are deployed a little longer than we were told you would be, but it’s okay! As long as you are safe somewhere then I don’t mind! You’re someone I can spill the beans to and not get in trouble.

You obviously remember the Sheriff, well he has passed away. I know it is terrible to celebrate someone's passing but he and his family made your life a living hell. Ashley scarred your beautiful face.

Yes, you may look more devil's advocate but it doesn’t make me sad.

A bad thing to come out of his death, besides his death of course God Bless his soul, is that Leo was investigated for it.

Now this happened a few months ago, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry about your brother, he is just fine now. Him and his boys came to visit not long ago.

First it was Leo by himself and then his boys came down a few days later. He was the happiest I have seen him since you left. He really misses you baby. So does your Daddy.

I think I am close to convincing him to write to you! He was asking for a pen and paper the other night when he had his night smoke on the back porch. So, look out for that letter.

I got a call from Noelle, she is just a peach you sure got lucky with her, she called to ask me if I had a box or a basket of little things you would find and give to me and your Daddy. She called you a penguin and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I told her that we have a room dedicated to everything you would find for us because the things you brought us vary in sizes. She didn’t say much about it after that, just talked about how Thomas and her were thinking about coming down in a month. After the last game of the season.

Of course I told them they can have your room, I’ve been cleaning it everyday just in case you surprise me like you like to do.

I love you baby, can’t wait for you to be home. xoxo

Love,

Mama

P.S

I already know.

It was humid that night, Noelle has been so excited for this date the entire week. They could only do this on a Thursday night because Thomas was leaving for an away game in Hufflepuff, Noelle was going to visit her other sisters, and Clay was going to get tested to get into boot camp this weekend.

So, driving Clay’s brand new truck up to the highest point in Gryff to watch the sunset. It was cliché but it was comforting. Noelle parks the truck after backing it up into the spot so they feel like they are floating over the cliff. They lay blankets and pillows down to be comfortable.

They turned on some low music, Thomas and Noelle laughed as Clay tried to mimic Finn’s dancing on the tailgate as the other two snuggled together. Clay stopped and stared at them for a moment, he didn’t realize how intensely he was staring until he felt two very different hands pull him on top of the beautiful two humans he was staring at.

“Hi…” Noelle snorts and gives him a small kiss on his scarred eyebrow. He feels Thomas lean over to presumably give him a kiss on the cheek. Instead he blows a raspberry in his neck, causing Clay to smack his neck and try to get away, only to be pulled further into the pile until he is being sandwiched in between them. Both looking up at him from where their cheeks are squished into his biceps. They are hugging him tightly and their legs are a tangled mess.

Eventually they all relax their grip on each other just a little, watching the sky as it starts to change colors. Clay notices how heavy his partners have gotten suddenly. He looks down to see that Noelle has fallen asleep with her mouth open and is starting to drool, and Thomas has fallen asleep looking more relaxed and peaceful than he has all week.

Clay knows they don’t want him to go into the military but ever since he moved to Gryff for the winters… he's been lost. Feeling useless while everyone else is out improving their lives. He needed a path of his own. He can’t just be the pretty thing that sits at home and waits for his lovers like a dog. He needs a purpose of his own.

Looking down at them, he smiles and traces the three little moles on Noelles tan cheek that make a triangle. He looks over to Thomas who has a small scar just below his lip. Noelle recently attacked his eyebrows with some tweezers and Clay can still see the little scab from where Thomas tried to move his head and she plucked his skin on accident.

Clay doesn’t realise how much time passed as he just memorised their faces, breathing pattern and the way they cling to him, until he realises the only light illuminating Noelles honey brown hair is the streetlight they parked next to.

He looks up at the sky and sees the stars for the first time since moving to the city… it just so happens to be his lucky night.

He makes a wish on the bright northstar.

He wants this forever.

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Fifteen Years Later

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Summary: Set fifteen years after the twins from “I Need You” were born, the Hood children discover just how outlandish some fan theories are

Warnings: Swearing, fan theories

Requested: Nope

A/N: Yeah so this is inspired by discovering some of the theories people had about louis’ son after he was born and I missed this universe so thought it would be fun to add a little more to it. It is technically a Calum x reader fic but it’s mainly just about the kids, but I hope you guys enjoy! As always please remember to let me know what you think - send me asks, reblog and comment, hearing your responses always makes my day a little better and makes me want to keep writing :) and also please don’t take this too seriously, this fic is just a bit of fun, please don’t attack me for it or somethin

“Hey, can I come in?” Maia didn’t wait for Leo to respond before she sauntered into his room and flopped down onto his bed.

“Please, make yourself at home,” Leo said, rolling his eyes a little, making another edit to his essay. “What’s up?”

“I’m bored,” Maia shrugged, pulling out her phone.

“And it’s up to me to entertain you?” Leo questioned, swivelling his chair around to look at his twin with raised eyebrows.

“That’s your job as my dear older brother,” Maia confirmed with a cheesy grin directed towards him.

“I thought twenty seven minutes didn’t count as being older than you?” Leo mused, turning his chair back around so that he could return to work on his homework.

“It does when it’s convenient to me.”

“Nowhere in my job description does it say that I have to entertain you.”

“Arsehole.”

“Bitch.”

Silence fell between the twins as the two of them went about their separate activities - Leo doing his best to finish his homework, Maia scrolling aimlessly on her phone.

The two of them hadn’t shared a room in years. They had moved back to Australia when their mother found out that she was pregnant with their younger sister, Sophie, their parents having wanted to be nearer their own families for the birth of their fourth child.

Leo and Maia had been five when Sophie was born, and they had spent so much of their lives up until that moment being practically attached to the hip that they resented their parents a little for splitting them up.

So it was logical when their parents had their fifth child, Kara, two years later, that Maia and Leo would room together again.

The Hoods moved again when the twins were thirteen, Theodore was eleven, Sophie eight and Kara six, into the house that they still lived in now, with each child having their own room at last.

Calum had taken a lot of time away from the band in recent years, choosing to spend more time with his family.

It had been his idea to move house, understanding that as much as the twins were still still rather inseparable, they did need their own space as they grew into their teenage years. So he had spent months working on the house for them, setting up all of the children’s rooms exactly as they wished, with much help from his best friends, who had also moved back to Australia a few years prior.

And yet it was hardly uncommon to find Maia in Leo’s room - he had gotten first pick of the bedrooms on account of being the eldest, much to Maia’s distaste. It wasn’t that Leo’s room was the biggest of the childrens - no, he had allowed Maia to have the largest room, but it was the placing of it that sparked so much jealousy between the twins.

It was the room that had the best view, overlooking both the garden, which, since moving in, Y/N had spent so long tending to and making it look beautiful.

“Oh my God!” 

“What’s happened?” Leo asked in alarm, not expecting Maia’s outcry. His twin began to laugh.

“Come look at this!”

“What is it?” Leo asked again, rolling his chair across the room, away from his desk and towards the bed to have a look at Maia’s phone screen.

“Fan theories.”

“Fan theories?” Leo repeated, furrowing his brow. “Why’s that so amazing?” 

“Because they’re about Dad!”

“What?” Leo gasped, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Can I borrow your computer?” She asked, already leaping off of his bed towards the laptop on Leo’s desk and opening it, copying the web address that she had been scrolling through on her phone.

“You’ve found some 5sos fan theories?” Leo cackled, moving his chair back in front of his desk as they waited for the website to load.

“They’re insane, as well.”

The twins lapsed into silence as they began to read through the blog posts together, occasionally laughing at some of the more outlandish proposals being made.

Finally, Leo spoke, leaning back a little in his chair with a slight frown on his face.

“So… they think that Dad is actually with Uncle Ash, and that Mum and Aunt Kaykay are just, what - beards?” Leo shot a questioning look to Maia, whose expression remained gleeful as she nodded.

“That seems to be the case, yeah.”

“So… what’s their theory about us?”

“Us?”

“Well… do they think that we’re actually adopted by Dad and Uncle Ash or what? Because there are definitely plenty of photos released of Mum pregnant - especially when she was having Kara,” Leo pointed out.

There was a knock on Leo’s door.

“Yeah?” He called, the door opening to reveal Theodore, his head still buried in a book.

“Tea’s ready,” he mumbled, eyes still intently focused on the pages in front of him.

“Theo - come look at this.”

“I’m busy,” he denied, already beginning to walk away.

“You’ll find it funny!” Maia insisted, grinning over at Leo who rolled his eyes affectionately at their brother’s actions. 

“Doubtful - your sense of humour sucks,” Theodore countered, already halfway down the hallway and about to go downstairs.

“Hey!”

“It’s food time,” Theodore repeated, at last looking up from his book, back down the hallway at his siblings, his expression looking as though he was attempting not to burst into laughter at the look of indignation on Maia’s face.

He didn’t wait for more of a response from her, however, before turning and walking downstairs to where the twins could now hear the sounds of their other family members clattering around in the kitchen and their father singing along to the music playing.

“Hey!” Leo protested when Maia huffed in response to Theodore’s attitude and grabbed her twin’s laptop, slamming it closed and taking it with her downstairs.

Leo gave an exhausted sigh and shook his head before slowly standing up and stretching, following his younger siblings.

The usual chaos greeted Leo as he entered into the kitchen.

Sophie was skipping around laying the table for food, with Kara following her, gripping the knives and forks tightly and looking rather serious as she did so. Theodore still had his head buried in his book but was, at the same time, reaching up into the cabinet nearby the fridge and getting out enough glasses for everyone.

Maia still had Leo’s laptop in hand and was attempting to get the attention of their parents who were stood by the stove, Y/N cooking and Calum leaning against the counter next to it, a grin on his face as he said something to make his wife laugh. 

“Hey - you know the rules, Maia, no gadgets at the table,” Y/N said, finally catching sight of Maia, who had given up her attempts and had slouched into a seat, placing Leo’s laptop on the plate in front of her and pouting.

“That’s not even your laptop,” Calum pointed out, laughing as he crossed the room to place a kiss on the top of his eldest daughters head. “How was your day - you okay?” He added gently.

“Fine - I wanted to ask you two something,” she explained.

“Is it what you were trying to show me?” Theodore piped up from the other side of the room, where Kara was now attempting to help him sort out the drinks for everyone.

“Now you’re interested,” Maia huffed, opening up the laptop.

Calum sat in the chair beside her, looking attentively at the screen, always willing to take time to involve himself in his children’s lives when they gave him the opportunity, eager to listen to whatever it was that they were currently interested in.

“Can’t it wait, sweetheart - food’s ready.” Y/N said, bringing over the food and placing it in the centre of the table, fixing Calum with a look that had him smiling guiltily at her.

“No, this is important!” Maia insisted, ever stubborn and determined to get her way.

“Alright,” Y/N sighed, though it was clear to everyone in the room that she was trying her hardest to suppress her laughter. “What is it?” 

“When were you going to tell us that you’re a beard to hide Uncle Ashton and Dad being together?” Maia questioned shortly, her lips twitching at the edges in her best attempt to maintain a poker face.

Calum choked on the water he had just taken a drink of.

“What’s a beard?” Kara asked, tilting her head to the side and looking at her parents curiously. 

Neither of them answered, Y/N too busy laughing and Calum attempting to collect himself.

There was a smirk on Maia’s face as she, too, looked between her parents.

Sophie was looking equally confused by Maia’s term and even Theodore had looked up from his book to watch the exchange, mild interest on his face.

“What is it?” Kara repeated, looking over to Leo instead, desperate to understand the conversation.

“Maia’s just being silly, K, don’t worry,” Leo assured his youngest sister, sitting down at the table and Kara immediately climbed up onto the chair beside her.

“But what does it mean?”

“Maia’s suggesting that I’m only with Dad to cover up that Dad’s actually with Uncle Ash,” Y/N explained, still grinning to herself at the sheer absurdity of the suggestion. Calum had also begun to chuckle along, his eyes crinkled as he focused on the screen of Leo’s laptop.

“Why would you do that?” Sophie asked, taking the chair beside Kara, swinging her legs under the table as she waited for everyone else to join them sitting down so that food could be served.

“Are you?” Kara questioned in confusion.

“No, sweetheart,” Y/N said and met Calum’s eyes, the two of them grinning at each other. “Just some of Dad’s fans like the idea of him dating Uncle Ash-”

“Or Uncle Mike or Luke,�� Calum interrupted knowledgeably.

“Yeah exactly - a lot of it was just about the idea of them being together or just their friendship but there are some occasions where the theories… go beyond that,” Y/N explained, evidently picking her words carefully.

“So you didn’t just have us all for PR?” Leo asked, feigning surprise.

“Of course we didn’t,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes.

“It’s been a while since I’ve looked at fan theories,” Calum said, a certain kind of affection in his voice. “Were you looking at the extreme theories?” He asked, looking interestedly at his daughter.

“They seemed pretty serious that you and Uncle Ash were secretly together - they reckon that you and Mum staged all the photos from when you were kids to make it seem like you had been together for that long.”

“And apparently your management forced you to marry Mum, even though you didn’t want to - something about a morse code pattern that you tapped during an interview once asking for help,” Leo inputted.

“Yeah - I think I read that one as well. I remember being tweeted about it,” Calum confirmed reminiscently.

“You used to read fan theories?”

“Yeah - out of curiosity more than anything,” Calum shrugged.

“I used to get tweeted them a lot,” Y/N added. “Put the laptop away, Maia? Food’s going to go cold.”

“And I’m hungry!” Sophie added, but her cheerful grin was still present.

“Tell Theodore to put his book away,” Maia huffed, annoyance in her voice and looking at Theodore who was sitting opposite her.

“Don’t call me that,” Theodore snapped in response, his eyes immediately flared with anger.

It wasn’t uncommon for Maia and Theodore to butt heads, especially over trivial things.

“Theo, put your book away - Maia, put Leo’s laptop away,” Calum sighed after catching Y/N’s eye.

“But you said you’d look!”

“I will - but after tea, alright?” Calum soothed his eldest daughter.

“Besides - we already know a lot of the more… absurd ones.” 

“Like what?” Sophie asked eagerly, beginning to dish out the food now that everyone was present and ready to eat.

“He’s still reading!” Maia cut her sister off, pointing accusingly at Theodore, who did indeed still have his book laying open on his lap under the table, eyes trained on it.

“Snitch,” he muttered, but closed the book after receiving stern looks from both of his parents.

There was a satisfied smirk on Maia’s face as she relaxed in her chair again. 

Leo caught her eye and rolled his own after catching the expression on his twin’s face.

“I’m confused,” Kara stated after a moment, her young face scrunched up as she stared down at her plate, looking as though she was trying to comprehend ideas way past the understanding that her eight years of age allowed her.

“About what?” Calum asked through a mouthful of food, rewarding him with a scolding look from Y/N that he responded to with a sheepish smile. Kara pointed at Maia, still frowning. “The theories?” Calum suggested before Maia could make some sort of snarky remark and Kara nodded.

“Why would you lie?”

“And why would you have ended up with five kids?” Theodore inputted.

“I read a theory that I got pregnant with someone else to force Calum to stay with me,” Y/N stated casually.

“What?” It was a communal cry of shock from all five children, staring at their mother in complete surprise, while Calum lapsed back into laughter.

“Yeah, some people thought that I got pregnant by someone else, told Calum that the twins were his and so he stayed with me out of duty.” Y/N said, a wry smile on her face, glancing over at her husband. “But that was from people who didn’t like me rather than anything else,” she added.

“What about the people who think Dad and Uncle Ash are together?” Theodore asked curiously, and Leo saw triumph cross Maia’s face at having piqued their brother’s interest.

“Well there are a lot of theories,” Calum said slowly.

“Some think that you guys are actually all adopted by the two of them,” Y/N said. “And that I must live in a shed outside or something to account for why I’m always here.”

“A shed!” Sophie shrieked, laughing and Kara joined in, though looking a little uncertain, just wanting to fit in with her older sister.

“Maybe not a shed precisely, Soph,” Calum laughed. 

“But that’s the gist of it, yeah,” Y/N confirmed. “Oh my God!”

“What?”

“Cal - do you remember when Leo broke his arm?” Her eyes were sparkling with amusement and Calum’s eyes widened, his mouth splitting once again into a wide grin, throwing his head back.

“That was probably one of the most far fetched ones,” he agreed after having recovered a little.

“What about when I broke my arm?” Leo frowned, thinking back to when he was eight years old and had fallen funny during a football match, breaking his arm.

Calum had missed that match - having been called into the studio with Michael to get some recordings straightened out. When Y/N had called him in hysterics in the hospital waiting room, he had rushed straight there. Ashton, Luke and Michael had come along a little while afterwards with the other kids in tow - Ashton and Luke having been babysitting at the time.

“I don’t know if you guys remember - I don’t know why you would - but Ash caught the flu a few days after Leo broke his arm and I remember that there was a theory that I actually rushed off to the hospital to visit him and then management faked Leo’s broken arm to cover up that I was really there to see Ash.”

“They thought I faked having a broken arm?” Leo asked, blinking at his father and frowning.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“When the twins were first born, the same fans thought you two were dolls.”

“Dolls?” Maia repeated.

“Yep - obviously those nine months that I was pregnant with you had to be fake as I was supposedly ‘over-doing’ the pregnancy symptoms-” Y/N was cut off by Calum’s snort of laughter.

“I forgot that people said that.”

“Lucky you,” Y/N said drily. “And so when you were born there was no way that either of you two could be real - therefore you had to be dolls, made specifically to look like us two and made to look properly human.”

“But… we’re not dolls,” Leo pointed out.

“Maia’s got the personality of one,” Theodore mused.

Maia’s protests were lost under the sounds of Sophie and Kara’s giggles and Leo tried to stifle his own laughter, not wanting to aggravate his twin further.

“That’s enough, Theo,” Calum said, but he, too, looked like he was holding back chuckles. “It was something to do how you always looked the same in every photo, you were always positioned the same or something?” He looked to his wife for conformation who gave a shrug before nodding.

“Something like that.”

“We were babies - what were they expecting from us? Backflips or something?”

“I would’ve been so proud of you if you’d done backflips as a child,” Calum sighed. “As it stands, though…”

“Rude,” Maia huffed, but gave in and smiled at her father’s teasing jab.

“I can do a cartwheel!” Kara inputted, puffing up her chest proudly. “Sophie taught me!” She added, after looking over to find that Sophie was looking at her.

“And that’s why you’re my favourite,” Calum assured her.

This caused an outbreak of protests and grumbling from the other four children, all of whom looked greatly offended despite none of them really taking him at all seriously.

“I’m the eldest, surely I hold some form of special affection in your heart,” Leo complained.

“Eldest by twenty-seven minutes!”

“Those twenty-seven minutes are what hold me in higher standing!”

“You two were researching theories that you’re not really our children,” Calum pointed out. “Kara doesn’t know how the computers work.”

“I do!”

“That’s true - she can get onto Minecraft,” Theodore agreed. “Though it’s understandable you resent Maia and Leo, they are rather annoying at all times.”

“Hey, you weren’t the favourite either so don’t get all high and mighty on us.”

“Why aren’t I the favourite?” Sophie asked, looking genuinely distraught.

“Tell you what - whoever cleans up after tea will rise the ranks of favourite child.”

The effect of Calum’s words were immediate, Sophie, Maia and Leo springing to their feet to help out. Kara giggled as she watched her older siblings playfully fighting over who got to clear away Calum’s empty plate and Theodore rolled his eyes to himself, letting out a long-suffering sigh and picked up his book again.

“You know manipulating your children like this makes you a bad person, right?” Y/N asked as she watched the chaos in the room.

“Well of course it makes me sound like a bad person when you put it like that.”

The sounds of clattering dishes had attracted the attention of the dogs, two of which came bounding into the room, the youngest - a spaniel named Milo -still a puppy, who jumped around yapping at the children. The other dog - also a spaniel, named Bowie - instead came over to the table, licking the hand Kara stretched out for him before walking over to Theodore’s chair, silently begging for attention.

Theodore had always been the child that animals gravitated towards.

Almost absent-mindedly, he dropped a hand down to stroke Bowie’s head and a small smile appeared on his face, though his eyes remained fixedly on his book.

Duke entered the kitchen, age waring him down and making his movements slow. He attempted to bark but seemed a little too tired as he ambled his way over to the table, flopping down next to Calum’s chair.

Calum scooped up the small dog and placed him on his lap.

“Hey, old man.” 

Y/N reached over to pet the elderly dog, a sad smile on her face.

“We’ve done alright, haven’t we?” She asked Calum quietly.

“Theo?” Kara’s voice was quiet from across the table.

“Yeah?”

“Will you read with me again tonight?” She sounded shy asking her brother. Y/N was momentarily distracted from Calum and looked at her two children, Kara looking at her older brother imploringly.

“Of course I will,” Theodore agreed, his voice low but kind and gentle in a way that it only sounded when speaking to his youngest sister or the dogs.

“Yeah - I think we did just fine - maybe not as interesting if half of those theories were true,” Calum said, moving one of his own hands off of Duke’s fur and cupping Y/N’s face gently.

She laughed a little at that.

“Maybe we’d be a little more interesting if they were true,” she agreed, smiling prettily up at him in the way that even now still brought a flutter to his chest.

“But I think we’ve done just fine, Nib.”

[illogicallyinclined]

Can we have some of the hockey boys and their Valentine’s Day celebrations?

ah, yes. please have some lovely, lovely boys in love

tws: eating disorders, mention of viscera/actual hearts, financial struggles

Remy and Emile

easily the schmoopiest couple (?) of them all despite the fact that neither of them actually know whether or not they’re an official item 

Emile asks Remy to be his Valentine every year and Remy says yes 100% of the time, but neither of them know if it’s meant to be Ironic™ or not

Remy’s got some Big Bucks, and he is Ready to Spend them on his Bae. i’m talking flowers all over the apartment. i’m talking pastries from the nicest patisserie this side of the Mississippi. i’m talking taking Emile to nice dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town and blowing $50 on a bread basket because he knows that Emile Loves Him Some Bread. is it cliche? perhaps. but Remy’s trying to recreate a Hallmark Move here, Folks

Remy tries his hardest to out-gift Emile every year, but Emile always ends up making Remy gifts that are so thoughtful that Remy has to choke back tears, so it’s,,, a losing battle

(one year, Emile made a crossword puzzle where all of the clues were inside jokes/questions about their relationship, and it was so, so nerdy, but it was also the cutest thing that Remy has ever received)

Roman

Roman is a romantic at heart, but he also has deep feelings for people that May Not Like Him Back, so every Valentine’s day he,,, suffers

he writes these really heartfelt Valentines to his Prospective BFs, but he chickens out at the last moment and ends up writing simpler cards to the Entire Team to hide his tracks

he does anonymously leaves a bunch of flowers in their team lockers, tho. (many of his teammates side-eye him during practice because of this, but his prospective boyfriends receive a lot of Valentines, so it’s probably fine)

he receives a ton of Valentines/gifts from fans because he is, admittedly, a Full On Snack with a Heart of Gold, but – although it’s flattering and definitely feeds a lil bit into his ego – he always ends up feeling really bad because he has to gently turn a lot of people down

also, receiving chocolates gives him mixed feelings, because on the one hand it is an incredibly kind and meaningful gesture, but on the other hand, he still struggles with body image, and chocolates run a Real Risk of triggering his eating disorder

Remus

Remus’s feelings about Valentine’s Day are… likewise mixed. on the one hand, he doesn’t really care about it – because uhhh romance? weird. dumb. kind of boring – but on the other hand, there’s something upsetting about watching your Identical Twin Brother receive a bunch of gifts while receiving virtually none yourself

when he was younger, he would go out on Valentine’s evening and throw rotten eggs at happy couples in public with Leo and D

now that he’s older, he hasn’t Mellowed Out, really, but he’s at least resigned himself to being the Forgotten Twin and planned accordingly to just,,, stay in and watch slasher fics 

that said, you can only imagine his surprise when, after he decides to play for the Aces instead of against them, fans actually start Giving him Valentines, too. and, like. a good number of Valentines. (listen, fans love a good enforcer)

he will deny having Warm Feelings about this until the day that he dies – because romance is still boring, and he doesn’t need validation the way that his brother does – but Roman knows damn well that Remus keeps every valentine he has ever received in a folder somewhere in his rats nest of a room 

his third year, Remus makes a bunch of Valentines for his team. each one includes a photorealistic drawing of an Actual Heart – a different animal for each Ace 

D

D: Valentines Day is a capitalist scam used to con the simple-minded out of their money; D: *receives a Valentine*; D, choking up: i hate it, thanks

for real, D finds Valentine’s Day to be too cheesy/campy/what have you for his tastes – and he is 0% here for the commercialization of feelings – but, while he’ll gripe and complain and use his own free time to steal chocolates from the local Walmart, he won’t give his teammates too much shit for celebrating

also he’ll steal a bunch of cheap valentines and hand them out to his teammates in bulk

also also, he may or may not get a gift for his BF once they’re officially dating, but that’s only because Logan deserves nice things and struggles to accept them without a reason, okay, it has nothing to do with the holiday itself

Patton

Patton loves Valentines day. flowers? chocolates? cheesy Valentines cards with bad puns and stickers? That’s His Aesthetic

the cupcake shop he works at is always busy AF leading up to Valentine’s Day, which is honestly a little exhausting?? but!!! the staff is allowed to select some cupcakes to take for the holidays ahead of time, so he always has treats to give to the team

he, like Roman, gets a number of Valentines from friends and fans alike. moreover, his fans are a little less extreme, so he rarely has to turn anyone down directly

Virgil

Virgil makes up the other half of D’s anti-Valentine’s Day Coalition. the holiday is just,,, so cheesy, and so expensive, and it was hell for him in elementary school because his mom was always obligated to buy a bunch of Valentines for kids he Didn’t Even Like because teachers expected it of them

he gets Valentines from fans, and he appreciates it -- honestly, he does -- but he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with any of the presents? like. he doesn’t have the willpower to take care of flowers, and he honestly doesn’t eat too much chocolate, and he feels bad getting all of these gifts when he really doesn’t have anything to offer in return. 

being in an Actual Relationship makes him feel even worse, because everyone always says that you’re supposed to make these grand gestures of romance, but Virgil has neither the temperament nor the money for that sort of thing

lucky for him, Logan is incredibly low maintenance. Virgil makes him a card and starts boiling some water for Lo Mein, and Logan is floored

Logan, wrapping his arms around Virgil’s waist and resting his head on Virgil’s shoulder: what did i do to deserve you?; Virgil: i don’t know. probably pissed off a witch and got cursed or something

Logan

receives Valentines out the ass. Logan’s touched and bewildered -- because, uhh, what? -- but he rationalizes it all by saying that he’s just 1) getting gifts for improving the win record so exponentially [his first year], and 2) receiving pity gifts for being injured [his second]

even so, he’s not used to having his work actually be... acknowledged? so yeah. university life has been a confounding experience

Remus gives him a cow heart that he swiped from one of the Freshman Science Labs, and Logan can’t tell whether it’s supposed to be a prank or not, but he appreciates (?) the gesture either way. 

his first year, Logan doesn’t get anything for the team (because that wasn’t the norm for him growing up), and he immediately labels it as a social faux pas when his team offers him their tokens of appreciation. (the team as a whole obviously doesn’t see it as a problem, but What Can You Do?)

his second year, Logan gets cards for every person on the team. then, five days before he can hand them out, he gets concussed

(they’re still in one of the drawers in his desk) 

[fanfic-inator795]

RotTMNT/Baron Jitsu fanfiction: Dating… With Children - BONUS DRABBLE #5

(Also available to read on AO3)

Just something quick and silly based on something my dad used to do to me and my brother, lol. Enjoy!

Also, do you ever wonder what Lou would look like with the beard he grew once he became a rat? Because I do, all the time.

Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-DAD!”

Lou smirked, setting his cup of tea down the moment he heard the boy’s excited voice. “Hello to you too, Donnie.” He caught his purple son with ease as Donnie all but launched himself at his father. Leo came in right behind him, slow enough to allow his twin to have his well-deserved spotlight but still smiling just as much.

Draxum was also smiling at the sight. “Well now, someone’s happy.” Despite remembering Donnie’s plan very well, he feigned ignorance. “I wonder what brought on such a good mood. What do you think, Lou?”

“No idea,” Lou shrugged, playing along, “Why don’t you tell us, Donnie? Why are you-?”

“My show and tell went GREAT!” Donnie yelled, still grinning ear-to-ear, “Everyone loved Shelldon an’ told me how cool he was! Everyone clapped, and all my new codes worked perfectly, and Mr. Suranio gave me a gold star! It was the best show and tell presentation EVER!” Noticing his dad and Draxum’s amused expression, Donnie cleared his throat and calmed himself down a bit. “So yeah, that’s why I’m so happy.”

“Aaaaand also ‘cause he’s the smartest kid in our class,” Leo commented, his tone genuine. He occasionally heard other kids in their second grade class complain about Donnie being a nerd and wondering when he’d take his annoying big brain to college already, but usually a glare from him or Raph or a calling out from April would shut them up. There was no denying that Donnie was a nerd and a smartie, but Leo didn’t mind. (Besides, he knew he was still the coolest kid in class.)

“Well, I for one am very happy for you, my son, and very VERY proud,” Lou said, pulling Donnie close. The purple-dressed boy happily accepted the hug. …Though only for a moment. Because only a second or two later, Donnie’s smile became a scowl, and he pushed his father away, hopping off his lap. “Huh?” Lou raised an eyebrow. He knew Donnie wasn’t always up for hugs, sometimes just feeling too sensitive for them and wanting his space, but he had seemed like he had been enjoying it a moment ago-

Figuring that he couldn’t just leave his father in the dark, Donnie said bluntly, “Your face ruined the hug.” Draxum nearly choked on his badly timed sip of tea while Lou just blinked, too confused to be offended.

“He means your face hair,” Leo flatly added, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Donnie nodded, still pouting slightly at his ruined hug.

At that, Lou got a bolt of realization. “Ohhh, you mean my stubble?” he asked, stroking his chin a bit.

“Yeah, that stuff! Like, geez Pop, it’s like trying to hug an itchy cactus or something!”

“Oh really now…?” Leo stiffened slightly, recognizing the mischievous glint in his father’s eyes. He tried to escape, but the Great Lou Jitsu was just too quick for him!

In one swift motion, Leo was picked up and hugged, with Lou’s seemingly-spiky cheeks rubbing right up against his face. “NOOOOO!” he yelled, squirming as he tried to push his father and his annoying, itchy stubble away. Lou could only laugh, letting the boy go after a couple seconds.  “Gah, you’re so weird!”

“Oh, let your father have a bit of fun,” Lou said, still chuckling to himself. Leo just stuck his tongue out at him before running out to the TV room to join his other brothers, with Donnie right behind him.

Draxum shook his head slightly at his prankster of a boyfriend. Lou might have been in his 40s, but he still acted like a big kid sometimes. Still, at the very least, it was endearing. “Guess you’ll have to shave again soon, lest you ‘ruin’ any more hugs.”

“Eh, we’ll see.” Lou stroked his chin again. “I really do want to try and grow a beard…”

Draxum raised an eyebrow at this. He had noticed Lou’s stubble as well, but didn’t think it was a big enough deal to bring up, it most likely being caused by a lack of time to shave in the mornings or a broken and not yet replaced razor. “Seriously?”

“Yeah! Why not?” Lou shrugged, “I’ve always sort of wondered what I would look like with one.” He wasn’t too bothered by the prospect of aging, having simply put himself in the category of ‘distinguished’ actors once he found his first grey hair rather than freaking out about it. So, if a beard made him look older, so be it. He was curious, and shaving everyday was a pain anyway. “Don’t you think I’d look good with one?”

Draxum hummed, leaning forward a bit as he took a good, long look at his boyfriend’s face. “…I can’t see it,” he finally answered after several seconds of suspense.

Lou huffed, waving him off. “Maybe you can’t see it now, but trust me. When it grows out, it is going to look good.”

“If you say so,” Draxum conceded, giving neither approval or disapproval, “Though I doubt the boys are going to agree.”

“They can disagree if they want, but this-” Lou pointed at his chin- “is still happening.” With that, the subject was changed and subsequently dropped.

For the next week and a half, it seemed like Lou was sticking to his goal, his stubble getting longer each time Draxum visited - though he did try to at least try and keep his eventual beard from getting too scraggly, shaping it slightly and keeping it clean.  

One Monday night, Draxum managed to make it over for supper after work kept him away for the whole weekend. He knocked on the door, just as he normally did… and a clean-shaven Lou opened the door. “Oh,” he said, slightly surprised, “Changed your mind on the beard?”

“No…” Lou mumbled, pouting as his eyes squinted in a scowl, “Those little punks of mine staged a ‘hug protest’.”

Draxum brought his hand to his mouth, trying and failing to hide his snickers. “I’m sorry, a hug protest?”

“Yeah! They told me they were doing it Friday night - no more hugs from me until I shaved.” At first, Lou had sort of smirked, accepting their ‘protest’ though not expecting it to last long. This expectation changed however after he had tried to tuck them in that night. Every single one of his son’s refused a good night hug, and then would overdramatically whine about how they had just gotten the ‘worst sleep ever’ the next morning, all because they hadn’t gotten their good night hug.

When the same thing happened the next night and day, Lou simply bit the bullet and shaved out of a mix of guilt and annoyance. At the very least, his boys all gave him a group hug the moment he stepped out of the master bathroom. “It was just too much of a hassle at that point to keep it,” Lou said, concluding the explanation with a bit of a sigh, “When they are all in their teenage rebellion ‘too cool for hugs from our dad’ phase, THAT is when I will grow my beard.”

Despite still being way too amused with the whole thing, Draxum just sympathetically patted his boyfriend’s shoulder, silently wishing him the best of luck with his goal. With it still being a while until supper and the boys upstairs playing, the two settled down on the couch, half-watching local afternoon talk shows as they talked about their day.

Lou snuggled up to Draxum’s side as his boyfriend wrapped an arm around him. With his smile softening a bit, Draxum kissed his cheek.

He would never try to control how Lou decided to look - boyfriend or no, that was Lou’s business, not his. Still, Draxun had to agree with the boys: he definitely preferred cuddling up next to a shaved Lou.

((I had been thinking about writing something based on ‘Jupiter Jim Ahoy!’ but uh… yeah the implications would’ve been wayyyyyyyyy too dark even if I was never planning on actually writing anything bad. So, silly drabble it is.

As for the next big chapter, it’s finally time to write two of the things I had been thinking about the most when I first started this fic: Christmas at the Jitsus, and TANG SHEN! Yep, Draxum finally gets to meet Shen and you’ll see the boys interacting with their auntie ^v^

So yeah, expect that probably sometime in December. …Also, with the finale three days away at the time of me writing this, just wanna say: If Draxum dies for real at the end of S1, thaaat’s probably gonna kill my inspiration to write anything after the Christmas chapter. So, yeah, just a heads up. Anyway, see ya’ll in December, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!))

[agentsnickers]

I have 118 fics on AO3.

Now, some of those are longer than others, and I’m largely a oneshot writer, but that’s a lot of fics. I was curious what the breakdown of that number was year to year, since in 2016 I basically stopped writing and posting art, and I thought I’d share that answer with you guys. (As a bonus, I’ll share my favourite fic from each year just for funsies. Even some old old old ones.)

This got long, so actual stats/faves under the cut.

2012: 12 fics! (An interesting factor here is that I joined the archive in July, so this is 12 in about five months rather than over a whole year.)

Fave fic: “I’m the Doctor - basically, RUN!”  obviously a Doctor Who fic, it’s a companion character study. Before my fic naming skills really developed. 

2013: 46 fics. Peak Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus time, but this was also the year of the 130 Night Vale ficlet August.

Fave fic: Because I Knew You, the Percy Jackson/Heroes Wicked AU. Featuring Percy as Glinda, Nico as Elphaba, Annabeth and Jason as Fiyero, Hazel as Nessa, and Leo as Boq.

2014: 20 fics. 18 of which were PJO/HOO.

Fave Fic: Lucky 13, PJO/HOO - a Nico-Bianca age swap fic

2015: 18 fics. The year of Gravity Falls!

Two faves this year, of about equal ranking:

Falling Hard and the Twin Trade AU that spun off from it, Gravity Falls AU wherein Mabel got sucked into a parallel universe at the end of Not What He Seems

 The Stuff of Legend, one of the only Phineas and Ferb fics I’ve ever written but one of my favourite fics I’ve ever written by far. Post-Act Your Age, the gang’s first year of college.

2016: 2 fics. I wasn’t kidding when I said I pretty much stopped writing.

Fave fic: Supersonic, a post Trials of Apollo 1 revamp of a PJO fic from 2014. (The other fic this year paired with this one.)

2017: 8 fics, enter Star vs the Forces of Evil and Ducktales.

Fave fic: break my fall, SVtFoE - a Star character study written after the season 2 finale. My 100th fic on AO3!

2018: 3 fics. An odd mixed bag of fics, too.

Fave fic: Finding Marlin, 3700 words of complete self-indulgence. The only fic I’ve ever written for Finding Nemo, has probably no audience outside of myself, and I’m okay with that. It’s a human AU, because they’re fish.

2019: 9 fics, with two months to go! I think I’m getting back in my groove a bit!

Fave fics (two again, because I can’t choose):

come stop your crying, a revisit to an old PJO/HOO concept after I reread my favourite Heroes book. At 5600 words it’s the longest thing I’ve written in a while.

until I’m home again, obviously one of my most recent Ducktales fics. Just a sweet little story about Donald and his kids.

So that’s the breakdown! I don’t know what 2013 me was doing to write 46 fics but I really wish I could recapture it. That said I’ve been writing a lot more lately so hopefully, maybe I’m getting some of that momentum back.

One of the cool things about going back through and pulling out old faves was that I actually still like a lot of my older fics. Not all of them, but a lot. And even the ones I don’t like, I know I’ve grown a lot from writing. 

[oqpromptparty]

Hi everyone! If you’d like to take part in this year’s Prompt Party Week, just select any of the prompts from the list below and write a fic, make a video or create some art based on it. Please note that more than one person may choose the same prompt.

You may submit new stories or include the prompts in any of your existing verses (though all your entries must be posted for the first time during Prompt Party Week).

Art/Video makers may use any of the prompts, but there are some Art/Video specific ones at the bottom of the post.

I have condensed some of the prompts that were a little too long and removed some that felt repetitive or have been sent before… feel free to take some liberties with some of the more specific prompts!

If you have any questions, please tweet @OQPromptParty

OQ Prompt Party week will run from 27th May - 2nd June 2019. Please don’t post anything until then.

Prizes:

Everyone who posts a prompt for all seven days of the OQ Prompt Party week will be sent a limited edition, one of a kind Outlaw Queen button/badge. These will never be available again, so don’t miss out!

Each day there will also be the opportunity to win another prize. You will be entered into a prize draw and the more prompts you write, the more times your name will be entered into the draw. I will announce which prizes will be available on each day soon.

There will also be a separate prize for most prompts included in a single one-shot/chapter (crack!fic encouraged).

And now! Without further ado, here are your prompts:

Lonely Robin paints/sculpts a picture of the woman of his dreams and she comes to life.

Roland’s first lost tooth.

“Sorry I thought you were someone else.”

Regina has scars from surviving a fire and thinks nobody can love her, Robin proves her wrong.

Roadtrip AU: Regina and Robin go to DisneyWorld for the first time and take Henry and Roland

Regina is the (little) sister of Robin's over-protective best friend.

One (or both of them) is in a coma, and they keep meeting in their dreams.

The first time Roland calls Regina "Mama"

Fighting Wolves.

A positive resolution or a rewrite of the baby storyline - Robin isn't the father / Regina is the mother.

Robin and Regina pick up a stranger at a bar and have some fun

Henry, Robin and Roland play Mario Kart

Regina over-hears someone talking about Robin in a language he doesn't know and she defends him.

Robin meets Daniel or Regina meets real Marian.

Regina and Robin are professors at the same university, enemy-to-lovers

OQ AU in a Love+Death+Robots scenario.

Enchanted AU: Regina finds herself trapped in the real world, New York City and finds something unexpected: a happy ending.

Regina asking for something she considers weird in bed

Modern AU: Regina is a witch and when Robin discovers it accidentally, his reaction surprises her.

Makeup sex

Regina’s new obsession is bubble tea, Robin just thinks it’s weird

Regina and Robin in a cooking competition.

Season 6 AU: Robin goes to the Wish!Realm with Regina and they both meet their Wish!versions.

MCU AU: Either Robin or Regina gets taken in the Thanos snap. Bonus points if you also wipe out one or more of the kids for maximum angst.

Robin, Regina and the boys in an escape room.

A little private time in Camelot.

Robin is a warlock who cast the first curse, and Regina is an archer who steals from the rich to give to the poor.

Ella Enchanted AU

Robin leaves after he feels betrayed

Summer vacation

Quiet times near the fireplace.

The Princess Diaries 1 and 2 AU

"Only You" AU

One of them gets injured and the other has to take care of them.

Robin and wishHook have to plan a part of Robin & Alice’s wedding (bonus points for a crack fic).

Spilled wine/coffee.

Robin & Regina are expecting twins.

Regina as a sex therapist.

Regina is thrown from her horse, Robin is the one who helps her.

Confessions of a Shopaholic AU: but Regina/or Robin is a hoarder of books instead of clothes.

Atlantis.

Accidental magical body swap

Bedsharing

Good Girls AU - Robin as a stay home dad, Regina as a criminal

Robin is custodian of a cemetery and meets Regina when she buries Daniel and keep meeting as she mourns.

Regina didn’t realize marrying Robin meant that she’d also be getting custody of all the Merry Men

The Sound of Music AU

One of them falling (any kind of fall), the other helping

Person A almost losing a loved one and person B tries to comfort them.

Inspiration from Pet Sematary - Regina or Robin dies and the other buries them in a place that happens to be cursed so that those buried there are resurrected. Regina or Robin is resurrected but are soon to be revealed as being darker and more sinister than they were.

Henry’s graduation.

Letters

Fic based on “Die From A Broken Heart” by Maddie and Tae. Robin and Regina have a massive fight after he shows up wasted with a few buddies... he walks out on her and slams the door behind him and she runs to her mom for comfort. By the end Robin comes to apologize and slowly win her back. AU (Cora is the good guy)

AU - Robin attends a convention with Henry and Roland.

Robin catches Regina full on dancing around in the kitchen while making dinner.

Pregnancy horniness.

Lost AU.

Roland's bedtime routine is exhausting.

OQ wedding + Robin carries Regina bridal style into their house.

Season 7 AU: Roni takes in a stray fox who turns out to be Robin.

Starting a new relationship after having slept together.

Stuck on a crowded train.

Regina and Robin visit New York City.

Regina hates celebrating her birthday, but Robin finds out and does something special for her.

Hiking in the woods.

Regina as a female knight and Robin as her Squire.

Robin and Regina are in Regina’s vault and Robin accidentally knocks over a potion, turning Regina into an animal.

“I didn’t know you speak…”

OQ get arrested for public sex

Grown up, Robyn meets grown-up Roland in the Enchanted Forest.

Regina and Robin take a walk on the beach at sundown.

Chaperoning Roland's first date.

Robin makes Regina a romantic meal and it doesn’t go to plan.

Person A pretends to be alright on their own but they finally accept they want Person B's company.

Regina shares an unusual fear.

OQ falling asleep on the sofa together.

San Junipero AU: Robin and Regina meet through a simulation meant for older people to live freely as their young selves once more.

Edible body paints.

Robin disguised as a priest and seeks shelter at a monastery where he meets novice Regina.

Henry and Roland plan something special for OQ's anniversary

OQ + war

First curse AU: Robin comes to Storybrooke with everyone, he and Regina meet and he instantly falls for her, but she tries to pretend she doesn’t care or isn’t affected by his charms, but fails miserably.

An "accidental" kiss.

He’s in for robbery. She’s in for murder. A prison romance blossoms when Robin Locksley notices a quiet inmate across the fence on her daily one hour out on the yard.

Robin at Regina's coronation.

Leo causes trouble for OQ

Missing year + a spell of kindness

DOQ CAOS AU: Mal & Regina as Hilda & Zelda who both fall for the Human Robin

Regina gets a happy ending massage from Robin.

Robin dealing with ED issues (temporary or permanent)

Robin surprises Regina with a puppy/cat as a birthday gift.

Every day, Regina takes her beloved sheltie to the same local dog park. And every day, she sees the same handsome blue-eyed blonde entertaining his adorable little corgi. Perhaps some day, she’ll muster the courage to say hi. Perhaps one day, it’ll not be her, but the dogs that will decide.

How to Train Your Dragon AU

AU: As a kid/teen/young adult, Person A was kidnapped. Years pass but Person A's family still hasn't lost hope and are still looking for them. Eventually the family hires Person B, the best detective in the country to find Person A and bring them home.

Regina meets Robin’s parents.

Party

Robin Locksley is the lead actor on a fantasy TV show “Happily Ever After.” Regina Mills is the typical troubled Hollywood ‘queen’ whose been cast as Robin’s new love interest only because the producers need a big name to bring in ratings and Regina needs a way to fix her reputation. They might play lovers on screen but off screen they can’t stand each other. Until they get to know one another; then real life most definitely begins to reflect fantasy...

Henry seeks Robin's advice on a very important matter

The Merry Men accept Regina into their group.

Regina is Roland’s therapist - he gets bullied at school and Robin and Regina end up liking one another.

Labrador puppies!

Regina works at an animal shelter, Robin and Roland want to adopt a dog.

A day at the beach.

Robin comes back when Robyn is 8 to find his daughter is a spoiled brat, Little John and Regina split up his children,  Hook got to come back before him and Regina split her soul.

Regina and Robin are surprised to find that Roland has magic.

A (magical) circus visits Storybrooke.

“It’s the reason why we broke up in the first place.”

“I thought you were gay.”

Sharing body heat to stay alive.

Roland is secretly Regina’s biological child.

Gender Swap version of their story. Robin is the struggling to reform Evil King. Regina is the leader of the Merry Men.

OQ/Stargate crossover.

Robin spends a whole day with Henry while Regina spends it with Roland.

“I just want to see you smile”

Visiting a castle in present day.

Bandit!OQ - one gets captured/caught, the other has to save them

OQ modern world AU with no magic.

Season 7 AU: Regina meets Robin in EF2 but he doesn’t remember her.

Robin and Regina go to John’s farm with little Roland who becomes obsessed with a little piglet named Wilbur and spider named charlotte and Regina can’t stand the farm life and has a panic every time she dresses up Roland only to have him get his clothes full of mud- can be modern AU.

Robin gives Regina a ring.

Secret relationship AU.

Stalker.

Robin consoles Regina after one of their kids yells "you're not my real mom."

North of the Wall.

Robin catches Regina doing something awful.

Regina and Robin as a king and a queen of separate kingdoms who fall in love (and unite their kingdoms).

DOQ on vacation.

Lion King AU: While hunting far to find food, Regina reunites with Robin, her childhood friend and betrothed, after years of thinking him dead when his father, the King, was mysteriously killed.

Accidental spell that makes Robin and/or Regina lustful.

Going shopping.

Storybrooke Community Theatre is putting on ‘Snow White & the Seven Dwarves’ and Regina gets cast as Snow White while Robin gets cast as Prince Charming.

"My little sibling has been talking about his/her new friend for a while now but I always thought you were an imaginary friend or something but holy shit you are definitely not imaginary (for real how are you so hot???)"

Regina forms a friendship with Little John.

Monster in the closet.

Dark!OQ's wedding.

Fake relationship AU.

Robin & Regina in a Jaime & Brienne-type relationship (pref minus the incest backstory)

OQ meet again after a long time like on this Nescafé Gold advert: https://youtu.be/jZtEXMBbaZg

Byzantine empire or Ottoman empire AU.

DOQ Roland calls Mal mom.

Three Wishes.

Robin doesn’t reach Regina in time. The crystal hits her but instead of killing Regina, it kills their unborn child.

Mother’s day/Father’s day.

Fic based on the movie “Moonstruck”.

Enchanted Forest AU: Person A is a member of the royal family. An assassination destroys their family, but Person A manages to escape and is believed to be dead. Person A finds out that their power-hungry relative (Person C) was behind the attack and wanted the throne for themself. While on the run, Person A meets Person B, who invites A to their camp. After finding out A's true identity, B and his/her friends agree to help A to stop Person C's tyranny so A can be crowned as the rightful king/queen.

Regina’s past haunts her.

Robin is known as the Vicious King whose first love Marian was murdered because his step son David couldn’t keep a secret. Tinkerbell leads Robin to his soulmate, a beautiful brown eyed peasant woman with a feather tattoo.

Game of Thrones final season watch party.

Robin, Roland and Robyn are incredibly poor, borderline homeless, Regina is the CPS caseworker assigned to investigate them.

A mysterious stranger appears in Hyperion heights, no one knows who he is, but he has a gorgeous voice and he sings at Roni’s bar every Friday, and then rides off on a motorcycle.

After Regina brings Robin back she has a problem letting him go even for a second to the point where it becomes a problem.

Robin is a cop who goes undercover in a deadly dangerous motorcycle club, Regina is the president’s old lady.

Robins soul wasn’t obliterated, but instead was sent to the worst part of Hell as punishment for loving the Evil Queen and Regina just found out.

Robin & Regina get into a fight and have near death experience and angsty make up sex after (canon).

Robin the handyman.

Hunchback of Notre Dame AU.

Regina and Robin are actors on the same Broadway show.

The occupants of Misthaven discover a new land full of murder, betrayal and deaths, a land where the dead walk, a land called Westeros.

Robin and Regina’s daughter’s first prom.

Road trip.

Robin watches Regina and their kids from heaven as they continue with their lives (canon or AU).

Regina talks to Robin for the first time.

Regina accidentally hurts Robin with her magic.

DP with Robin, David & Regina.

Regina and Robin discuss moving into the woods when the last kid is preparing to leave the nest.

The Durrells AU.

Robin isn’t dead when Regina splits herself in two.

OQ stranded on an island.

“Inside my heart is breaking, my makeup may be flaking but my smile still stays on.”

Robin cooking in Regina's kitchen for the first time.

Regina dealing with menopause.

Robin finds out Nottingham & Regina dated (or he finds out that Cora tried to hook them up in the ‘Mother’ ep).

Robin and Regina want to adopt a baby.

DOQ and quirks of living together.

Kissing Booth AU.

“Your curse is to remember.” Robin, who remembers everything, is in Hyperion Heights while Henry, Roland, Robin and Regina, who’s with Facilier, have no idea who he is.

AU: OQ as teenagers/young adults

Robin detests Snow more than Regina does.

Regina proposes to Robin.

“Robyn is eloping with the daughter of a pirate and a nature goddess, Roland is having an affair with a married princess, Henry’s mother in law is threatening to kill everyone and you still want to have a party?”

“I know you care for her, Regina, but I don’t want Zelena around my son.”

Robin and Regina join Twitter and find themselves involved in a fangirl argument over Henry’s ‘Once Upon a Time’ book.

Evil Queen introduces Wish!Robin to Roland or Robin.

Robin travels back in time with Hook & Emma.

Regina and Robin are neighbors who can't stand each other.

“You kissed Snow?!”

Beetlejuice AU: Robin and Regina are both dead and haunt a house with one another whilst trying to find a way to move on together.

Fireworks.

Regina is betrothed to a pompous son of some Lord who lives out near Sherwood Forest that she’s never met before in her life. Robin’s future intended is the spoiled daughter of Princess Cora and Prince Henry who he never even laid eyes on. But how could Regina ever love the man she was supposed to marry when she’s fallen so hard for the forest smelling peasant she met in a tavern? Not to mention how could Robin ever hope to care for some princess when he’s head over heels in love with a brown eyed peasant woman whose smile he sees every time he closes his eyes?

Robin loses his memories, Regina must make him fall in love with her again.

Perfect Date AU (Netflix)

DOQ find out they share a soulmate bond

Waitress AU

Jurassic Park/World AU

Nashville

“If i’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have...”

The original meaning behind the lion tattoo

Lost in time

Henry and Roland have a fight

Both Robin & Regina are hot tempered. 

Video Prompts

"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith

Pretty Woman

Loving Can Hurt

This is Me

Season 1/2/3/4/5/6/7 AU

Fight song

“Tishbite” by Cocteau Twins

Any classical music

“Don’t Treat Me Bad” - Firehouse

“Paradise” - George Ezra

“Walk Me Home” - Pink

“Here We Go” - Wild

Up Town Girl

Any song from a Disney animated movie

“Shallow” - Lady Gaga

“I’ll Be There” - Jess Glynne

Art Prompts

Historical AU

Angels & Demons

Art a favourite fic

Sunset

Rainbow

Comfort

Anniversary

The 90s

Comic book

Sherwood forest

Fire

Trouble

Romance

Hero

[jandjsalmon]

The 92 articles meme

Duuudes. I feel so incredibly loved. I was tagged by @lessoleilscouchants @writing-as-tracey @deathlydelight @bugheadjones-the-third @rileybabe @allskynostars @believe-that-you-can-my-friend @southsideserpentine - Do you SEE these ladies? They are all freaking amazing ladies! I feel so blessed to have you in this wonderful Bughead family with me. Thank you for the tag!

RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (I feel like I don’t really need to tag 20 people - firstly because so many of you already did this - but also - there aren’t actually 92 statements here so the rules are a fallacy. Nope.)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: Bennett (about hot dog buns)

3. Text message: Jay (about our seats at Phantom of the Opera)

4. Song you listened to: Carry you Home by James Blunt

5. Time you cried: yesterday - whilst reading fanfiction at my desk.

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes. first guy I ever kissed. Evan. 

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: not really.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12.-14. green, pink, and gray

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: only in positive ways

19. Met someone who changed you: yes

20. Found out who your friends are: not really. I am picky about friends. If I’m questioning them - they’re not friends.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most but not all. Some of my fandom friends have become more than just fandom friends and we are Facebook friends now too.

23. Do you have any pets: Lacie Loo - the sweetest little Cairns Terrier ever.

24. Do you want to change your name: Nope.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Went out to dinner with my husband.

26. What time did you wake up: today? 6:10am (then I read fanfiction for an hour and a half before getting in the shower)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfiction in bed and watching South Park with Jay.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: The hockey season.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: She just left from visiting from the States actually. She left July 9th.

31. What are you listening to right now: The super loud air circulation fan in the office and my own fingers typing on my loud keyboard.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when my coworker calls in sick… like she did twice this week - even though she knows we’re short staffed in the summer - and I come in sick all the time.

34. Most visited website: tumblr, Ao3, and gmail

35.-37. This didn’t have any question next to it! Weird. Someone should make some up. But not me.

38. Hair colour: brown

39. Long or short hair: slightly longer than my chin

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Currently I’m all about the Sprouse Twins. (that’s not really a secret here though, eh?)

41. What do you like about yourself: SO much. I’m so fun and smart and pretty. I’m the whole package. ;)

42. Piercings: just my ears.

43. Blood type: A+

44. Nickname: Jess or Jandy

45. Relationship status: happily married

46. Zodiac: Leo - but I was born on the cusp so I share lots of Virgo traits.

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: currently loving Riverdale, Brooklyn 99, Game of Thrones and so many more.

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right or left handed: right

51. Surgery: I had my tonsils out when I was 13 and have had 3 c-sections.

52. Piercing: answered above at #42

53. Sport: hockey

55. Vacation: British Isles and just various countries in Europe.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing right now, pulled pork for dinner.

58. Drinking: nothing right now.

59. I’m about to: I SHOULD be working… but I’m still catching up on fic! At least I’ve moved on to new stories rather than catching up on the updates.

61. Waiting for: School to start again?

62. Want: a Nanaimo Bar or three

63. Get married: I’m already married… for a long long time now.

64. Career: I work in Municipal Government in the finance dept.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms (shoulders are my WEAKNESS)

there’s no 71

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes (I just dropped my favourite pair in the lake two weeks ago. GRR!)

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: yes

80. Had your heart broken: yes

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yes. (and cried when they stubbed their toe - I’m a crier)

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: most days

85. Miracles: yes

86. Love at first sight: not really

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: no

89. Angels: yes - but not the sort with halos and wings

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: Jay

91. Eye colour: blue with a yellow circle in the middle.

92. Favourite movie: Stardust, Eurotrip, and Schindler’s List

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

Stitch by Stitch (Part 2) - a Newt/Tina fic

Tagging: @pinkdiamonddolphin

A part of me didn’t want to publish this part – I don’t feel my writing is as good as some of the other Newtina fanfic writers, as I’m sure you’re all aware, but I felt like I had to post it anyway because I don’t like leaving things unpublished.

Phoenix – 22nd June 1931 – 9 (going on 10) Linnet – 13th January 1933 - 7 (nearly 8) Leo – 3rd March 1935 – 5 (going on 6)

(Miracle baby not born yet – Tina’s still in her early-stages of pregnancy!)

Tobias “Toby” – 15th October 1929 – 11 Daisy – 7th April 1931 – 9 (going on 10) Abel and Ruth (twins) – 20th November 1933 – 7 Elijah “Eli” – 28th January 1939 – 1 (nearly 2)

The Healers of St. Mungo’s had hurriedly rushed Tina away, Newt following closely behind as he talked a mile a minute over what he knew regarding the situation.

“…She’s pregnant,” He found himself repeating over and over again, voice cracking. “She’s about four months along. She’s been having morning sickness nearly every day, a-and she’s not been eating…”

“Mr Scamander, please,” One of the Healers said calmly, raising her brow at him. “Let us do our jobs and everything will be fine.”

Newt highly doubted that but he knew he had no other choice – with that in mind, he fell silent and watched as the Healers started casting various charms and spells on his wife.

Merlin, please let our baby be okay, He found himself think desperately, The baby has to be…surely they will be.

The tests had lasted a few minutes and then the Healers had left the room to confer over their notes; Newt immediately sat down beside Tina, taking her hand and squeezing tightly.

“Newt,” She choked out, and her hand squeezed back weakly. “I…I’m sorry. I don’t…I couldn’t…I didn’t mean to…”

“No, don’t talk like that,” He murmured, resting his chin on top of her head as he pulled her to him. “The baby will be fine, I expect, and so will you. We have to wait and see.”

Tina sniffed. “I’m fine, but…but the blood…oh God…if the baby’s not alright-”

“Then don’t blame yourself,” Newt interrupted soothingly. “Tina, love, if…if something is wrong then it won’t be your fault. I promise you now that, no matter what, you’re not to blame.”

“I tried to eat,” She said miserably. “I tried but it kept coming back up, and…and I’ve been so stressed at work, and…and I’ve probably hurt the baby now. I-I’m so stupid…”

His heart ached in his chest at her words; he was worried (and he’d admit to it this time, sometimes worrying was inevitable) and even terrified that something was wrong with their unborn baby, that perhaps things wouldn’t be as lovely as they had hoped. Having said that, there was no way possible he could ever blame his wife for this; she was a giver by nature, and she gave as much as she could all the time – but sometimes it was possible to give too much, to give so much and not think of looking after oneself.

“Don’t blame yourself, please, Tina,” Newt managed, exhaling heavily. “You’re far from stupid, love; you just lost track of things, that’s all. Besides, we don’t know anything yet – we’ll wait for the Healers to come back before jumping to rash conclusions.”

When Healer Monroe entered, this time without her colleagues, she closed the door behind her and gave the couple a tight smile – and Newt’s stomach lurched because usually that kind of smile signified bad news.

“Mr and Mrs Scamander,” Healer Monroe greeted. “Hello. I’ll get right down to business, shall I?”

“Please,” Tina agreed, voice barely louder than a whisper. Newt found himself clutching her hand even tighter, his body stiffening with tension.

The Healer conjured a seat before sitting down opposite them with her folder resting on her knees. “Now, we’ve run a few tests to check on what may have caused the bleeding – thankfully, you don’t appear to have lost a great deal of blood at all, and we won’t have to consider any transfusions of any kind-”

“And the baby?” Newt interrupted hurriedly – perhaps it would be viewed as a tad rude to do such a thing, but in that moment he found himself not caring a bit. “Is our baby alright?” Tina tensed beside him, her breath catching in her throat.

To their surprise, Healer Monroe offered them another smile. “Yes, your baby is perfectly fine.”

“Perfectly fine,” Tina repeated dubiously. “And…that’s definite?”

“Oh, yes,” The Healer agreed, nodding her head. “Very healthy, very strong heartbeat…no abnormalities whatsoever.”

Newt couldn’t believe his ears, relief flooding over him. “They’re fine? Thank Merlin for that… But the blood-”

“Sometimes spotting can happen,” The older woman assured him. “Pregnancy often means that there’s more blood in the body than usual, so some light bleeding is relatively normal… However, Mrs Scamander, it’s important that I stress to you how close you could have been to losing your baby.”

“Oh.” His wife’s shoulders sagged. “I see.”

Healer Monroe just sat back in her seat, studying the two of them. “Your pregnancy is very high-risk as it is, Mrs Scamander, considering the diagnosis we gave you a few years ago regarding your fertility – the fact that you’ve managed to conceive at all now is a miracle, let alone that your baby is as healthy as they are. Now, tell me, you work as an Auror – correct?”

“Yes,” Tina admitted quickly. “But I haven’t been doing anything dangerous at all – just deskwork and…and things.”

“I see. And has there been anything else that might have caused you stress?”

“Well…” She hesitated, and Newt found himself watching her curiously. “My boss at work is…he can be difficult to be around. He shouts a lot.”

The Healer nodded. “Yes, that’s not at all good for your health – and if it’s not good for yours then it’s not good for the baby’s either. Of course, stress doesn’t appear to be the only reason – you’re severely underweight, Mrs Scamander, considering how far along you are.”

Tina went bright red. “I’ve tried eating,” She defended. “I have, but I can’t keep anything down – the morning sickness is awful.”

“Then you should have come to us sooner,” Healer Monroe sighed. “We could have given you something for your nausea in no time… Well, that hardly matters now. We’ll keep you in overnight, just to monitor your health and the baby’s, and then we’ll send you home with an Anti-Sickness potion so that you can eat something properly.”

“I can’t stay the night,” She disagreed. “I have work tomorrow morning.”

The Healer frowned then, clearly displeased. “Mrs Scamander, with all due respect, I don’t think you should be working while you’re pregnant.”

Newt winced to himself – he already knew how Tina would take this. Perhaps it would be better to remain silent on the subject, he reasoned, to not side with either of them and cause more stress or tension in the room.

“How dare you?!” His wife seethed half-heartedly, though it was clear she was tired. “I am more than capable of working, thank you very much! I’m not even due until May, that’s still five months-”

“You nearly lost your baby tonight,” Healer Monroe reminded her seriously. “I understand that it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s my advice from a professional point-of-view that it would be far safer to stop working until the baby is born.”

Sure enough, this made Tina fall silent; her hand was still holding his, somewhat limply, and he squeezed it again to reassure her. “We’ll talk it over between us,” Newt promised softly, directing it at both Tina and the Healer.

“Yes, it’s a matter you two should discuss privately,” Healer Monroe agreed. “At the end of the day, I cannot force you to take an early leave, Mrs Scamander, only offer my advice. Now, one of my colleagues should be around shortly with an Anti-Sickness potion so that you can attempt some more sleep. Mr Scamander, if you’d like to stay-”

“I can’t,” Newt interjected before he could stop himself. “Not really; we left our children with Queenie and Jacob – that is, our brother- and sister-in-law. I don’t suppose I can really leave them without any word really…”

“Well, that’s your decision. I’ll be back later to check you over, Mrs Scamander – do try and get some rest.”

They muttered their goodbyes as the Healer left the room – once the door had shut, however, Tina was groaning and pressing her hands against her face. “I’m an idiot, Newt; I let Crawford of all people get to me. I let him stress me out, and now-”

“And now you’re stressing again,” Newt pointed out; when she didn’t look comforted in the slightest, he wrapped an arm around her. “Everything’s fine, Tina - you heard her: the baby is perfectly healthy. There’s no need to torture yourself over this.”

“But I nearly…” She stopped, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I…I nearly killed our baby, Newt – after how difficult it’s been to even get here, I nearly killed them…”

“Stop, Tina,” He said firmly, his hold on her tightening involuntarily. “You haven’t done anything wrong – it’s just stress.”

Tina nodded, somewhat tearfully. “Yes, stress – I’m stressing and putting the baby in danger.” She gave a heavy sigh. “I…I don’t want to stop working, I really don’t, but if it’s going to put the baby at risk…”

“It’s your decision,” Newt told her softly – he couldn’t force her to do anything, of course, for it was her job and her carrying their baby, after all. “Whatever you choose, Tina, I’ll stand by it.”

“I know you will,” She agreed, and she rested her head on his shoulder. 

Neither of them said anything else – they didn’t need to really.

“So…how is she?”

Newt gave a shrug. “Fine, really – you know that already though, I suspect.”

“Yes,” Queenie agreed. “But I’d like to hear you say it – I been worried about her all night.”

Understandable. “They kept her in last night,” He explained quietly, only too aware that the children could come down the stairs at any minute and overhear. “Everything’s fine – Tina’s absolutely fine, and the baby’s more than healthy.”

The blonde witch let out an exhale of relief. “Oh, thank goodness! I was worried, see, since…well.” She hesitated, and he didn’t have to be a mind-reader to know that she was remembering the heart ache of losing a baby years ago – he knew better than to comment on it. “I’m glad she’s okay, though; the kids have been worried sick about her all night – especially Leo.”

“Ah.”

“They’re still sleeping,” She continued, putting on a rather half-hearted smile. “I put the boys in the spare room – Linnet was more than happy bunking with Daisy. So, is Teen still at the hospital or…?”

Newt shook his head. “No, no, they released her this morning after giving her some Anti-Sickness potion. She’s gone to work.”

“To… You let her go to work?!”

“It’s hardly my choice whether she goes to work or not,” He reminded her dryly – but his shoulders sunk slightly. “She won’t be working much longer – she’s decided to take an earlier leave than planned, if only for the baby’s health.”

Queenie looked rather relieved to hear that. “Of course…she’s putting the baby first,” She said aloud, and he realized she was skimming through his mind again. “She…She ain’t happy about it.”

“No. I think she feels rather…well…”

“She was worried last night,” She murmured, and her eyes seemed to grow teary. “Oh, Newt, honey…she really blamed herself like that?”

He looked down at the floor. “Yes. She did.”

“Oh, Teen… We’ll come visit tonight,” Queenie promised. “Once Jacob gets home, we’ll come over to yours; Teenie and I can have a chat, talk things over. Would that be okay, Newt?”

“Of course,” Newt agreed, looking up and giving her a somewhat forced smile. “You and Jacob are always more than welcome to come over.”

She studied him for a moment, obviously reading through his mind, before reaching out and putting a tentative hand on his arm. “Newt, honey, I’m sure Tina will be okay. I know that this was frightening – I know what it’s like,” She reminded him sadly. “But I think Teen will be more than okay, and so will the baby. Don’t fret too much.”

If only it were that easy.

It was with great trepidation that Tina found herself knocking on the open door to Crawford’s office the following afternoon, heart hammering in her chest and stomach fluttering nervously.

He lifted his head at the sound of her knock and gave a great sigh. “Scamander…can I help you?”

“I…I need to talk to you, sir,” Tina muttered quietly, stepping into the room.

He gave a nod. “Sit down then.”

She linked her hands together over her slightly swollen stomach as she sat down and took a deep breath, preparing herself. “Alright…sir, I…I have a request to make.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow. “A request?”

“Yes. See, the thing is… I’m four months along,” She started nervously. “I’m not due until May, and my plan was to go on leave in April – to continue working until then. I was more than happy with that plan when I gave in my notice, and I would have been happy to continue like that but…but the thing is, I think it’s best if I leave earlier.”

“Earlier?” Crawford repeated.

“Yes, sir…as in within the next few weeks.”

His eyes narrowed. “A few weeks?! What in Merlin’s name are you playing at, Scamander?”

Tina squared her shoulders, forcing herself to look him in the eye. “The Healers at St. Mungo’s have suggested I take an early leave because this pregnancy is high-risk – there was an incident just a couple of nights ago where I nearly…well.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “The stress is putting the baby at risk, and I need to think about the baby first – I know this is far from convenient, and I respect that, but-”

“Scamander.” She stopped speaking, looking at him and gnawing her lip; it didn’t surprise her that he looked positively livid. “You want me to approve you going on an early maternity leave, is that it?” She nodded uneasily. “You honestly expect me to approve of you going on leave four months early?”

“It’s not that I want to go on leave,” Tina defended hurriedly. “I would happily work until my due date, but the baby has to come first – I’m not about to put my baby at risk.”

Crawford sat back in his seat, glaring at her coldly. “There is a war going on as we speak – if our Aurors aren’t in Europe fighting Grindelwald’s forces, they’re here trying to keep the peace and protect the citizens…and you have the audacity to ask to go on a paid leave early?”

“Sir-”

He raised a hand to silence her again. “A part of me is tempted to dismiss you completely from the department, to make you pack up your things and leave.”

Tina froze, and it seemed as though the world were about to crumble all around her at his words.

“You probably think I hate you – I don’t particularly like you, Scamander, but the thing is…well, you’re one of the few members left on the Senior Team,” He admitted, somewhat grudgingly. “And you are adequate at your job – even I know firing you would be a bad idea.” Crawford sat back in his seat, looking down at the table thoughtfully. “I won’t fire you, and the Ministry has a law in place that means you get paid for at least half a year – but do not expect any favours. Your leaving puts us in an even more precarious position than we’re currently in, and we’re not going to tiptoe around the matter just because you’re pregnant. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” She agreed quickly, though she wasn’t quite sure what was happening really.

“You can go on leave,” Crawford continued, looking as though he greatly regretted what he was saying. “But your status will be as a consultant in the meantime – that means you’ll be doing some work at home. There’ll be owls, I’m sure, wanting advice or for you to fill out some paperwork based on a case-file – that’s your responsibility.”

It was almost too good to be true, Tina thought to herself – but she didn’t dare question it, instead nodding in agreement. “Of course, that’ll be more than fine.”

Crawford gave a curt nod of his own in response. “Wonderful,” He muttered dryly. “You’ll remain here in the offices until the end of the week, and then you’ll start in your new position next Monday. Any questions?”

“No, sir.”

“Good,” He told her, straightening up in his chair. “Now: get out of my office.”

“You know, Teenie, things could have been much worse-”

“I know that.”

“You’re still miserable.”

Tina sighed, shaking her head as she finished preparing food for the Occamys. “I’m fine, really – I got off lucky. He could have actually fired me.”

“Then why are you so sad?” Queenie asked, folding her arms. “Don’t lie to me, Teen – I’ll know.”

“Yes, that’s true. Alright,” She relented, turning to look at her sister. “I’m just…I like working, even with a guy like Crawford breathing down my neck every few minutes. I get a real kick out of working, even if I’m just helping in a house raid. I’m glad I’m not fired, don’t get me wrong, and I do want the best for the baby-”

“But you’re gonna be bored,” The blonde witch finished, and she looked sympathetic. “I know, Teenie – it ain’t gonna be fun, having to wait for owls at home and not actually doing much, but it’s for a real good cause.”

Tina nodded, though she didn’t look at all comforted by this. “I know that, Queenie, and that’s the only reason I’m doing this – if it didn’t put the baby’s health at risk, I’d carry on doing assignments as normal.”

“You gotta be careful,” Queenie stated, and she put a hand on her sister’s arm. “Teen, this baby’s a real miracle, remember? You don’t wanna risk losing a miracle, honey. It’s…it’s awful.”

Of course, that’s why she’s so worried, Tina thought to herself, and she felt rather terrible for not realizing sooner; She knows what that’s like, after all.

“Oh, Teen,” Queenie sighed, shaking her head at her sister’s thoughts. “Don’t be like that. I ain’t offended that you didn’t think about me first – you had more than enough on your mind. Anyway,” She said brightly, changing the subject. “This kinda talk ain’t doing neither of us any good – you should be sitting down too.”

“I’m more than capable of feeding baby Occamys,” Tina muttered dryly, a fond smile spreading across her face. “I do it pretty much every day – it’s like feeding children.”

Actually…they kind of are children to us in some ways, she thought to herself.

Queenie giggled to herself in amusement. “Yeah, I noticed.”

“Let me see now…where’s the monkey?”

“On your back, Papa!” Ruth shrieked, laughing to herself.

“Look, Uncle Jacob,” Linnet called. “Just behind you!”

Jacob pretended to look clueless, though the grin on his face gave him away; Eli giggled from his perch on his father’s back, hands clasped tightly around his neck and legs tight around the torso.

“I don’t see no monkey,” Jacob fake-pondered. “Are you kids playing with me?”

“No!” Leo disagreed eagerly. “Monkey on your back!”

Newt found himself chuckling under his breath as he watched from the distance; the sight was remarkably similar to how Dougal had clung to Jacob in the department store in New York all those years ago, and the whole game was rather amusing to observe.

Jacob was still looking about the case, pretending to be puzzled, when Eli let out another peal of laughter – and he grinned widely to himself. “Ah-ha! There is a monkey on my back!”

“We told you,” Daisy stated, beaming so wide that her cheeks were hurting. “We told you he was on your back, Papa!”

“C’mere!” Eli cackled with laughter as Jacob reached around and lifted the toddler from his shoulders. “I knew it! I knew there was a little monkey back there!”

“P-Papa…tickles!” Eli shrieked happily, wriggling in his father’s arms. “S-S-Stop!”

The rest of the children were soon joining in, fingers tickling the boy as he cried out in weak protest; this continued on for quite some time, much to Newt’s amusement, and it was only when Linnet announced that she’d seen Dougal wandering about that all of them set off to search. Eli was positively red in the face as Jacob put back down on the ground, still shaking with laughter, and he was soon occupied by the sight of a pair of young Graphorns playing nearby.

“Hey, buddy,” Jacob started as he approached. “You sure you don’t need any help? I don’t mind, honest-”

“No, no,” Newt assured him, smiling fondly. “I must say, you’re doing a marvellous job keeping them all entertained – usually around this time of year Phoenix and Linnet get rather restless…the excitement of the holidays and all that…”

“Yeah, it’s a game we play all the time back at home,” His friend chuckled. “Ruth calls Eli, ‘Monkey’ all the time, ‘cause he moves around so much – kid’s got a real habit of climbing up on furniture too – and it’s starting to really stick. Kids love it.”

Newt turned back to the adult Graphorn he had been checking over, still rather amused. “We do the same thing down here all of the time – though I’m usually an Erumpent giving them a ride.”

“Ah, man… I’d pay to see that.” Jacob affectionately patted the Graphorn on the head, not even wincing when it tried to salivate on him. “Yeah, good to see you too… Say, Newt? How many these things you got now?”

“Well… Bertha – this one,” He gestured to the Graphorn he was currently caring for. “She’s expecting another baby soon, so that’ll be her third. Once she’s had that one, providing things go well, that’ll make eight.”

Jacob looked somewhat surprised. “Eight? I thought there’d be more.”

“Well, unfortunately a few have passed away,” Newt admitted, and he felt himself sadden at the thought. “Old age, mostly, though one did have a rather incurable illness that I couldn’t…well. It’s rather difficult to breed them, seeing as there are so few in the world left – most of them are in this case.”

“Oh. Oh, well, I’m real sorry to hear that,” Jacob said sincerely – and Newt knew he really meant it. “Listen, buddy, Queenie and I wanted to thank you for inviting us ‘round for the holidays; it means a lot to us, you know? This is gonna be our first Christmas and Hanukah over here, and we wanted it to be special for the kids…”

“It’s fine,” The Magizoologist assured him without hesitating. “Really, Jacob, when you think about it, you’re family. Besides, I know Tina and the children are looking forward to you spending the holidays with us too.”

The other man looked touched by this. “Thanks, Newt. Queenie and I, we was actually kinda worrying over how our first holidays over here was gonna go, especially since the kids have only ever spent them in New York, you know? We don’t exactly know our ways around the stores or anything either, so…”

“No, Tina and I are more than happy to help on that front too,” Newt agreed, and he grinned at his friend. “Just let us know when, and we’ll plan a little trip to Diagon Alley soon; we can find just about everything there.”

Jacob thanked him again and seemed to be even more animated as he set off to find the children once more; Newt watched him go, and despite the rather stressful time he and Tina were going through currently, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat warm at the thought of the entire Kowalski family joining his own for the holidays.

As it turned out, Hanukkah and Christmas taking place at the same time was not particularly easy to navigate.

In the previous years, Hanukkah had fallen before Christmas and so given the family time between the holidays – but because the two were taking place at the exact same time, it ended up being somewhat more difficult to organize how to celebrate. To add to this, there was the question of whether the entire Kowalski family would be staying overnight or not; Newt and Tina had agreed that they didn’t mind the house being crowded, but Jacob and Queenie had both declined.

“I think it’s for the best we spend it in the new house,” Queenie said to Tina quietly just a few days before the first night of Hanukkah. “Besides, we can come over in the evenings to light the menorahs, and then we’ll come over on Christmas early.”

It had all been worth it in the end, though; the Kowalskis came to the Scamander home shortly before nightfall on the first night, Queenie and the children with their menorahs. While Newt and Jacob set about making dinner (cooked in olive oil, of course, as was custom), Tina, Queenie and all of the children grouped together in the front room in order to light the first candle on each of their menorahs together as they recited Full Hallel. The younger children – such as the twins and Leo – were carefully watched and helped, of course, and while Eli was currently too young to really celebrate he did watch curiously.

Dinner had started to become slightly more difficult to prepare with each year that the war went on, especially due to the rations, but somehow it was manageable to create a satisfactory meal. The real highlight, of course, had been when Queenie pulled out her wand and made jelly doughnuts in the air above everyone’s heads – Jacob was momentarily stunned at how fluid it looked, even after so many years, and the children found great amusement in his facial expression.

After dessert, the children settled down to play a game of dreidel in the front room; to everyone’s amazement, Abel and Ruth (working as a team, of course) were the winners and so won the pot of chocolate gelt between them. The children wanted to play another game (for Toby and Phoenix were certain that they would win the next game), but because it was already starting to get rather late, Jacob and Queenie were adamant that they return home.

“You guys don’t wanna miss Santa, do you?” Jacob asked excitedly. “Yeah – come on, guys, we can leave Santa some babkas and milk.”

Once they had left, Newt turned to his own children and grinned at them. “Alright, you three – Santa will be arriving in England soon, and you need to be asleep when he comes to visit.”

“But I wanna play another game,” Leo yawned, swaying on the spot. “Wanna win.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Newt began, reaching out and taking his youngest son by the hand. “We’ll invite everyone over tomorrow very early so you can play – and I’ll play with you this time, if you want.”

Phoenix smirked to himself. “Don’t listen to Dad, Leo, he’s awful at spinning it: at least Mum knows how to spin it properly.”

The children were relatively easy to get into bed, however, going rather willingly with the promise of Christmas and seven more days of Hanukkah in the future; Leo was asleep before his parents finished tucking him in, and Phoenix just smiled tiredly as he said goodnight. Linnet seemed slightly more excitable, complaining that she wouldn’t be able to sleep, but Newt managed to coax her to try by promising that Dougal could come up from the case soon to visit. She seemed appeased by this and allowed him to tuck her in without any more fuss.

To his surprise, Tina had fallen asleep on the sofa by the time he came downstairs from Linnet’s room; part of him wanted to just leave her to rest, for he knew how exhausted she was. The other part, however, knew that she’d have a far better sleep in their bed upstairs.

“Come on, love,” Newt murmured, gently shaking her awake so that he didn’t alarm her suddenly. “I think it’s time we both went to bed and got some rest.”

Tina murmured something groggily but allowed him to pull her into a standing position; she gave a yawn as she left the room, and he couldn’t help but frown to himself as he thought about how exhausted she looked.

I hope this new year is easier for us, He mused to himself sadly, and he couldn’t help but think of Theseus; just this time last year, Theseus had been celebrating Christmas with his own wife and children, alive and well. Margaret and the girls were celebrating with their parents this year, he knew, but it made Newt’s chest ache when he thought about it.

Deep down, he strongly suspected his brother wasn’t going to be home for another Christmas – but he couldn’t say that. He had to remain strong, had to keep positive and not worry.

Newt sighed and silently waved his wand to turn off all the lights as he left the room; the candles of the menorahs by the window remained lit, burning bright throughout the night.

Fun fact: there was a much more depressing draft where Crawford fired Tina – but I couldn’t do that to her. She’s suffering enough.

I really struggled writing the Hanukkah bits because I’m not Jewish and so I’m not well-acquainted with the traditions – especially of the time period this is set. I hope I did an okay job. I didn’t write every single night of Hanukkah as, again, I’m not completely sure about the traditions/what’s custom on those nights. Everything I’ve written is based on what I’ve read online and from other people (who are Jewish)