#the only good kind of woman is the kind who can give birth but chooses not to

[beaft]

my reactions to most terf rhetoric fall on a spectrum between "weary/irritated" and "steaming mad", but sometimes i stumble across a subcommunity that's so utterly detached from reality that it knocks me out of that spectrum and into a zone of honest bewilderment. i don't even have the capacity to get angry. it would be like getting angry at someone for believing that the moon is made of green cheese. this has been a long-winded way of saying i just discovered a branch of radical feminism that believes pregnant women are evil

[ofrolysdogs]

demon slayer oc

last edited: 07/14/24 | 14/07/24

spoilers are below btw.

trying my best at a photo id so bear/bare(?) with me here: hoshiko sora is a dark skinned woman with short, dark brown hair with reddish undertones in the style of a mullet, her longer hairs are colored purple with blue tips, her eyes are a deep bluish purple with a normal purple gradient, her characteristic is her dark under eyes, besides the standard demon slayer uniform, her haori is a dark purple with a vivid purple gradient consisting of white stars, her kyahan is a darker shade of blue with sparkles and stars.

- some lore on the oc in question, i decided to name her hoshiko sora, it's not her birth name but it's a name. - oldest of 2 other siblings, and is the second ever foreigner to become a hashira, after the death of her mentor, yukiko, ice breather, -- hoshiko was very close with her younger sister, yumeko, who turned out to be a "fallen angel," later having to kill her, her younger brother is in the care of the other ladies that live with her. - she lives with 15 women, all of them non-japanese, and 14 foster children named after colors. - her birthday is october 25th and she is 19 years old. - she's the star hashira and uses celestial breathing and to be real i don't give a rats ass if it's mary sue (she's already self insert so come at me bro) - her eyebags are genetic, not because of a lack of sleep, her mother and sister had the same eyebags. - she rides a giant sentient star she names sirius, and has even smaller stars she keeps as pets, their names and stuff are linked here. - her hair is based off a hairstyle i did back in 2022 minus the mullet. - she can sing, really good. -- when she was younger, she would sing yumeko and her brother lullabies she made up, and her voice is described as "otherworldly." - she's like 5'9 or 176 cm, the exact height of giyu, she weighs about 185 pounds - while her main love interest is kyojuro and is the one she chooses in the end, she can be shipped with all of the hashira (minus the 14 year old kid, he was with yumeko until you know what happened.), since they all find her to be beautiful. (ok fine i own up to it, she's mary sue, but hey, at least im free from cringe culture.) -- when she first joined, she had a crush on obanai, but after she found out that he was not only afraid of women, but he was... simultaneously in love with one, she was so heartbroken she contemplated on retiring as a demon slayer, and was also deeply resentful and jealous of mitsuri, but, her sister talked her out of it, and once yumeko had joined the hashira, she helped hoshiko get along with mitsuri better. - her personality consists of her being laidback, down to earth and composed, very go with the flow and tends to stay out of unnecessary conflict, she can be pretty comedic too. -- i guess when it comes to her personality, think a little of sans from undertale? - in the kimetsu academy au, she studies at a university overseas as an astronomer, while her descendant is an astronaut.

those other stats

- she shares a rank with tengen when it comes to physical strength, why? as a child she had a weird fixation for lifting heavy things, no one not even she knows why, weird childhood things i guess. - she's not the fastest, but isn't slow, either, ranks between giyu and obanai. - on the openness scale, she's around 75%. - on the kindness scale, she ranks between gyomei and obanai.

her opinions on everyone

"she's a pretty nice gal! however... something about her bugs me... if you catch my drift, also, i'm not a fan of bugs." - insect hashira "the same age as my dear sister, he's taken a liking to her, and what can i say? i don't blame him, they'll get married for sure! but not both of us, kid!" - mist hashira "im sorry to say it, but the man's awfully cringe, and no, i'm not taking up on the offer to be the fourth wife, nice nails though! which wife did them?" - sound hashira "he's got that mysteriousness to him i find attractive in men, but, we don't always get what we want, do we? but hey, at least i don't have to worry about being bitten by a snake, right?" - serpent hashira "honestly, i don't have a real opinion on the guy, he's pretty cool i should say, however he's got some secrets the rest don't know, thats my favorite part about him. ;)" - stone hashira "a gloomy fellow he seems, but, if you put it past you, he's got more to him, it makes me sad how the other members treat him like that." - water hashira "loud as can be, gives me an array of compliments, the others are saying 'give him a chance, can't you see? he's in love with you!' ... hmm, i can admit, he's got an essence." - flame hashira "dear god, why can't i be blessed with such beauty? the man i had fallen for has fallen for her! why does this always happen to me?" - love hashira "now, can i say he's terrifying? not really, but am i lying when i say those eyes don't freak me out just a little? also yes." - wind hashira

everyones opinions on her.

"a celestial breather? well thats certainly unique!" - insect hashira "she's like a jellyfish, she's very flowy and beautiful, she also has a very pretty sister." - mist hashira "she's very flashy! if i had the chance to choose my wife, she would've been my first pick, she has the best hips for childbirth here!" - sound hashira "i heard she likes me... ew, but at least she's pretty." - serpent hashira "she has a beautiful singing voice, rengoku is deeply in love with her, but she loves obanai..." - stone hashira "she's very kind to me and understands me well, i like her very much." - water hashira "she may not look it, but she's very ruthless during battle, she's also the most beautiful woman i have ever laid my eyes on!" - flame hashira "she's very beautiful, i have never seen rengoku so flattered! but, i don't think she likes me much.." - love hashira "she's pretty cool, actually." - wind hashira

[anamericangirl]

I don’t agree with abortion and feel that it is irresponsible for woman to have sex and not think of the responsibilities that can come with it. However, I also don’t feel comfortable with forcing rape victims to give birth (especially if it’s very young children) so I just choose to not be mad at woman that do get abortions unless they’re the incredibly ignorant and irresponsible kind of people. Especially when it’s adults or teenagers that should already have taken Sex Ed.

Getting an abortion after having agreed to sex is irresponsible, I agree and people need to learn that pregnancy and sex go together.

Why don't you agree with abortion, though? Do you believe a baby is being killed? If so, why is killing a baby conceived through rape more ok than killing a baby conceived through consensual sex? The humanity of the baby doesn't change and the circumstances of their conception is not their fault.

No one is forcing anyone to give birth. The only person guilty of forcing anything in this scenario is the rapist. Once pregnant, there is no way to avoid "birthing" the baby. Either an abortionist will force your body to "birth" a dead baby long before it is supposed to or at the end of the pregnancy cycle you will birth a living baby. Rape is a violent, traumatic crime and the only one who should be punished for it is the rapist. We should not continue the cycle of violence by ripping an innocent child apart because they did not choose to be here as much as the woman didn't choose to be victimized. The problem here is now we have two innocent people instead of one and they both need to be cared for. Abortion is not a good choice. Not only does it kill an innocent human, it's also not safe for a woman to go through. It comes with a myriad of serious physical and mental health risks.

The thing is, if abortion is not ok, then it's never ok. There shouldn't be some circumstances where killing an innocent child is acceptable and some where it's not. We need to help rape victims in other ways that don't involve harming a child.

[teeth-cable]

The stella hate she received is too much and this is the twisted thing i see, they compare stella to amber heard an actual real life victim of abuse. Amber heard this woman who speak up about being abused by her husband johnny depp what does she get death threat, harassment, bullied, mockery , etc. Stella this character is so demonized that a lot people don't ever think she's a sentient being with emotion too

If we look at historical context often the female royal member are often seeing baby making machine. Only a few female royal member become leader in the monarchy system often it's male royal member. The systemic sexism if the husband of royal famliy cheat the wife get in trouble and consider failure of her marriage. That means stella she's very disadvantage

1. Stolas cheat she consider to be failure not stolas

2. Stella doesn't play any important role her role is just sit there and looking pretty

3. She is disposable after fullfiling her role now the system consider her useless

4. Her noble rank her parent definitely want their status to be elevated so of course they choose stella

5. Often woman in this system get abused and they put in really high standard

And stolas. I'm sorry people are so desperate painting him as not like the other royalty who's relatable, kind, down to earth, no he's not even closed to that. The writer fail that part i seen character who's royalty actually use their privilege for good

Example : Zuko (avatar the last airbender), Elena(Elena of avalor), sofia(sofia the first), Charlotte le bouff( Princess and the frog), Elle Woods(Legally blonde)

In question did stolas use her privilege for good? All he did use to exploit blitzo and use that for he's own benefit. Vivziepop you know diana spencer can be used as one of your inspiration right? Diana spencer princess of wales this is an example of royal family member use her privilege for good

She break the stigma people who have hiv and aids, she actually interact with other people who have different status from her, she care about people well being, because of that a lot people liked her. After she died people also remember and sadden by her death

How about let's not compare real life cases of abused victims to the abuse fictional characters are suffering from a poorly written demon show?

Exactly, that's what fans are not understanding either. The critical community doesn't pity and empathize with Stella because we see her as this harmless angel but because she is also a victim like Stolas is of Hell's monarchy system. Whether fans want to admit it or not, Stella would absolute take the blame for the marriage failing, not Stolas. Stolas has an important role to do, they wanted a heir to HIS throne, and to quote HezuNeutral from their, Helluva Boss Continues to Circle Spiral video,"If Stella was infertile she'd be screw" because her only purpose in this system is to give birth. It's frustrating that Stella gets reduce to a black and white villain instead of a morally gray one because Viv doesn't want to be nuanced about the affair but even more frustrating, she can't even do her role as a villain right because not only is Stella, terrible inaccurate rep of domestic abusers but also because she is so dumb that she needs her brother to point out when Stolas dies, all of his things would be inherited by Octavia and not her. As if (I'm assuming) one of the actual reasons why she stayed in the marriage was because she like spending his money and what caused them to be so miserable was she and Stolas were arranged to give birth to an heir!

Stolas isn't good either, he still treats imps like shit, using his butler as a stressed toy, talking down to imps, it's just he “acts" less racist towards I.M.P.

[chososhairbuns]

(tw for r*cism, p*dophilia, tr*nsphobia, and SA)

truly i am not saying this simply for the sake of being mean or a snob but i wish mp100 fans would think more about the type of people they choose to make popular in our community. as a fic reader and writer i've seen all kinds of shit that people come up with and i'm not picky with what i enjoy but you know what i find to be completely baffling? the fact that only a handful of people seem to be willing to be critical of an author who (and i'm not putting this under a read more because you guys need to see how fucking long this is and let it sink in):

wrote touichirou to be even worse than he already is in canon. we're talking about being pro-eugenics, being racist towards serizawa (who is portrayed as blasian), and condoning child impregnation (don't even try to come at me with the whole "well duh he's the villain so what's the problem?!" because let me ask you: why would any of the above be necessary to show that touichirou is a villain? all of this is ultimately unimportant to the fic in question as a whole and imo they're not handled with the necessary care that should entail. something being dark and gritty =/= being better; i thought we've evolved past this mindset). excuse me for disregarding mp100's themes of "it's never too late to change" for a second here, but shit like this makes it extra difficult to buy into his character development post-wd arc. most recently, the author has revealed herself to hc him as having had a white south african mother from whom he learned "his kind of eugenics mindset. outright headcanoning a character to be racist huh? white.

is racist towards serizawa in general actually. the narration is constantly making weird comments about his hair before he starts working at s&s. you see people like REIGEN saying he looks sloppy, and it's never called out.

wrote a graphic sequence where reigen gives birth in a taxi while ritsu watches and helps deliver it. again, it's a completely unnecessary scene and adds nothing to the overall narrative, and it can be very uncomfortable for those faint of heart. also theres a gratuitous r/trei joke thrown in there for good measure.

has very questionable trans rep, according to the trans people i've spoken to. serizawa is implied to have a trans fetish, shimazaki is portrayed as a trans woman chaser (you know for the funnies), and allusions to reigen's transness are mostly through explicit imagery.

is really weird about the kids????? shou is characterized as someone who's constantly making dirty and frankly unsettling comments towards others even when he isn't being aged up, even though that's not a trait he has in canon. he and the others are constantly dancing right up to this really uncomfortable line that stops just short of full-blown gross shit.

WROTE A FIC WHERE REIGEN ASSAULTS SERIZAWA. do you hear me? she wrote a fucking fic where serizawa wakes up to reigen trying to get it on with him. that is assault. this author will tell you that it isn't assault because they're in an established relationship but listen to me: That. Is. Assault.

doesn't tag any of the shit i just mentioned! she doesn't alert her audience to any of these things before she draws in her audience because she's more worried about "spoilers" than actually protecting people. one time someone asked her to tag the fic i mentioned in the bullet point directly above as SA due to being triggered but she refused because they were the only person to have a problem with it (allegedly), and also because they were "rude." wtf. basic fucking decency shouldn't hinge on how polite or rude someone is being, but she has such a huge victim complex despite being 39 years old and too old for this shit that she doesn't even realize it.

again i am not trying to put myself on a soapbox and say that i'm inherently better than anyone but i really am so disappointed in you people. for the most part i find that this fandom is a lot more well put together than a lot of those hellholes out there (save for the standard fuckery that all fandoms are guilty of obviously) but seeing talented artists that i otherwise respect and have nothing against choose to put this person on a pedestal and by extension enable this sort of thing to continue is so disheartening. i'm not trying to attack anyone or accuse them of consciously condoning this content, but please think for a bit before you uncritically recommend it to others just because it has your favorite ship in it or because you enjoy darker and more mature themes.

[executethyself35]

10, 13, 26 of the oc asks for as many of them as you can find an answer for maybe perhaps?

LWNWNFLWKFNKA,M THANK YOU SO MONTY (yes ik i'm supposed to be on hiatus, but i can come out and go back in, i need to feed the people who want to be fed)

10. What lie do they most frequently remembering telling? Does it haunt them?

B: She lies about how much she misses Cuba, she says she barely misses it, but in reality some nights that's all she dreams about. Her childhood there, what her life would've been if her mother didn't move them when she was little. Let's just say, she misses it alot.

Zippo: That she didn't remember anything about the reason her family left Russia, she was two why would she remember? But she has one of those memories that have been formed over the years of being told the event that truly caused them to leave. The lie doesn't haunt her as much as the memory does.

Ollie: That she was happy in her relationship with Roland, even though anybody with a pair of eyes could see that was a lie. And the only reason it haunts her is because she had to see Eugene's face fall into a frown upon hearing that (he knew she was lying but didn't want to press any further into it)

Torrie: That she sometimes resents her mother for baring her. She always thinks about what her mother could've done with her life if she didn't decide to runaway and get married with a baby.

Marselle: That her ex didn't screw her up as badly as she did. Baby girl's ex was a bitch and treated her horribly, but Marselle still somewhat loves her, not very much but it's still there, and she doesn't want people to know how badly she hurt her.

Eliza: WHAT LIE DOESN'T HAUNT HER?? No but honestly, there's so many to choose from, which one do you want?? Her lying about how she doesn't hate her father as much as her mother?? Her lying and saying that if given the opportunity she wouldn't violently kill her mother?? (that's the one that truly haunts her bc it makes her believe she's capable of what her mother has done)

Mary: That she never wanted to see her father's grave again, it haunts her bc she does but she doesn't also, and what kind of daughter doesn't want to visit her fathers grave.

Julia: That she doesn't mind her birth father. In all actuality if he were to fall off a cliff and die, she wouldn't really care, that quite frankly terrifies her that she thinks that.

Allie: That her experience in the military has been great. She wanted a full combat position but they chose not to give her one since she's a woman. It pisses her off to no end.

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

B: She thinks she looks the best in dark blue, and she does. It compliments her skin.

Zippo: Brown, and she does look good in brown.

Ollie: Cream, she believes it compliments her skin and it does.

Torrie: Even though green is her favorite color, the colors she think she looks best in are black and white, or just a slew of random colors, they all look good.

Marselle: Beige! It's her favorite color so of course she thinks she looks good in it. p.s. she does.

Eliza: red and black, and omfg she does look amazing in those colors.

Mary: green and black, but also mostly darker earth tones, she likes how they compliment her hair, and she does look good in them

Julia: any kind of blue! She looks great in them!

Allie: earth tones, or any of wtf the 70s had going on with their color pallets, she looks great in them

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

B: walking or train!! Sometimes by car, but that's only if she really needs to

Zippo: sadly car, that's the only way she really gets around, she walks sometimes tho

Ollie: trollies!! She doesn't mind cars, but she just prefers trollies, she likes to look at the scenery and the atmosphere

Torrie: another car girly, she'll take the the train but only if necessary

Marselle: saldy she grew up with cars, but her next choice for some strange reason is boats don't ask why, it's just boats

Eliza: even though she grew up around cars, she prefers trains and the like, if it doesn't give her a reason to be alone she wants it

Mary: she likes walking everywhere, yea she'll use a car if necessary, but she mostly walks, but she has to be careful because she can get into her head and it's not fun

Julia: a car girl once again, but she's not opposed to trains, she loves them!

Allie : hear me out, tractors. You can drive them around and get around with them. But in all seriousness, she would get around with them or by horse, but she's a realist and knows she need to use a car

[grimmswan]

Trubel asks about Unplanned Life

Grimm: Nick/Adalind

Set in the loft a few months after the defeat of Zerstorer

A discussion about what Adalind and Nick thought about the circumstances revolving around the life they had.

“Can I ask you something? You can tell me to mind my own business if you want. It’s going to be kind of personal.”

Trubel and Adalind were in the kitchen. The younger woman was supposed to be helping to make dinner while Nick was playing with the kids, but she was doing more snacking than helping.

Adalind looked at Trubel, giving the silent signal for her to go ahead with her question.

“I know there was a lot of animosity between you and Nick. For good reason. A lot of things happened. Then you find out you're pregnant with Nick’s baby. Did you ever consider not having it?”

Adalind was still for a moment, thinking over Trubel’s question.

In the other room, Nick was listening closely to the conversation. He was nearly holding his breath to find out what Adalind’s answer would be.

“Honestly? It never crossed my mind. I missed Diana and was willing to do anything to get her back. And..I guess..I was determined to not lose another baby. There are potions I could have taken to end my pregnancy. And maybe I would have used one back when I was first working for Renard. At the time I only cared about doing whatever it took to be his princess. I honestly never believed I wanted to be a mother. And I certainly didn’t think I would make a good one.”

“That’s why you got pregnant on purpose and thought you could sell the baby to the royals?”

Adalind nodded. “It never occurred to me that I would get attached to my baby. The more my pregnancy progressed, the less I wanted to let her go. Even after running for my life, and giving birth in a shack with no drugs to dull the pain, I still knew that I loved my baby and wanted to keep her.”

Adalind gave a soft chuckle.

“I remember freaking out when I discovered I was pregnant again. I had no idea where my first baby was. And I was having a second? It seemed too impossible to process. And I hadn't even thought to be concerned about it being a half grimm baby. Of course I was freaking out about that after giving birth. Thankfully, I had Nick doing a lot to keep me calm. I honestly don’t know what I would have done, or gone through, if he hadn’t been so amazing.”

Nick smiled. Despite how tumultuous that time was, he was glad he had Adalind and Kelly to focus on. He had been dealing with a lot of pain and grief. If it wasn’t for the fact he needed to remain in control, he probably would have lost his mind.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a question from Trubel.

“Did you ever wish, even for a second, that Adalind would miscarry?”

“Not even for half a second. I respect a woman’s right to choose. But I admit I always hoped I wouldn’t be put in that situation. That any woman who thought she was carrying my baby, but knew she wasn’t going to keep it, just wouldn’t tell me.”

“So even though you and Adalind were like enemies at that point, and you were in love with Juliette, you were still glad Adalind told you about Kelly?”

Nick nodded. “It wasn’t the best timing. And it was the wrong person, or so I thought at the time.” He winked at Adalind. “I changed my mind about that part later. But if I was going to be a father, I wanted to know about it. I wanted to be a part of my kids' life from the very beginning, regardless of the circumstances.”

“I guess that’s believable.” Trubel thought it over. “The way you are with kids. Hank said that one of the reason’s he had always liked that you were his partner, even before the whole grimm thing, was that he could trust that, like him, you would do whatever it took to protect a child. It’s part of why you guys got most of the cases involving kids. Everyone knew that you would always go above and beyond to save a child.”

“It’s part of the reason why Nick changed his mind about me.” Adalind winked at her grimm lover. “Monroe told me, after a few glasses of wine, that Nick confessed to him that he had no idea I would be a good mother. But he saw for himself that there was nothing I would not do for my children.”

“It did make it a lot easier to see a life for us. As a family.” Nick admitted. “I had been struggling with being attracted to you. But given everything, I thought it was best to ignore that attraction. Then the more I got to know you, the more I discovered everything I needed and wanted in a life partner.”

“So even though a lot in your life now was unplanned, you wouldn’t change it?”

“We got lucky. There’s no doubt about that. Most of those put in a similar situation are more likely to find a lifetime of drama, chaos, and frustration.” Nick shook his head with a chuckle. “I want the life I have now. But I wouldn’t suggest others go about getting it the way I did. Even though there’s not a thing I would change.”

Adalind agreed. “Nothing went the way I planned it. But I am happy with the results. And I wouldn’t change it, either.”

Trubel looked at the couple. They did not plan on becoming parents. But there was no doubt that they were happy.

Life had not been easy for either of them. But through each other, they found the life they wanted.

In their case, the unplanned was what they needed to find happiness.

[ravennightbirt]

I was thinking about what @qqueenofhades said about the Secret Marriage au.

And now all I can think about is this:

They get married in 1489. Because Hob is a persistent mother fucker and Dream needs that. Their courtship is mostly through the Dreaming, because none of Dreams siblings can intervene.

And then around 1584/85 Hob gets tight lipped and nervous. Dream is concerned so he investigates. It is Lucienne who figures it out. Hob is currently courting a noble Lady called Elenore. Dream blows a fuse until Lucienne gets a word in. Turns out the only reason they are courting is because Elenore was pressured to marry some asshole BY. That asshole and Hob intervened.

Dream is still slightly pissed of by does have a conversation about it with Hob. They both get snappy, but in the end Dream agrees to meet Elenore.

When he does meet her Dream kinda hates to admit that he likes her. She is charming, just as quick witted as Hob and she is not impressed with Dream at all. She also tells him that she is very much in love with one of her maids, although she doesn’t mind Hobs attention.

Dream personally makes sure that she only has sweet dreams after that.

The wedding comes and Dream doesn’t attend although he shows up in private to congratulate and bless their marriage, because Hob is his husband and Hob is very happy with Elenore. Even though he won’t admit it.

Their house after that is very much full. Elenore and her love. Dream and Hob. Dream and Elenore. Jessamy and even Lucienne.

And then Hob calls Dream, he and Elenore are crying and so is Elenores wife.

Elenore is pregnant.

Dream doesn’t talk to any of them until Elenore is seven months along. And that only because she strides into the library and sits herself onto his lap, graps his ruby, telling him her opinion on his behaviour.

He tells her about his own son, kind of. Elenore Slaps him over the head (gently) and calls him an idiot. They talk some more and when she wakes up Dream is in the kitchen with her wife making food. Hob is nearly in tears and they all just stay in the kitchen all day.

When Robin is born Dream is there at night. Making sure Hob and Elenore can sleep. Only waking Elenore when Robin needs feeding.

Making sure they have the loveliest dreams. When 1589 rolls around Dream knows his siblings will watch him more closely. So they male up some big plan, and then Shakespeare enters the stage, and somehow it ends up even better.

Elenore is howling on the floor in fiddlers green that night when they tell her.

The second baby is a result of a long talk. A proper one. Elenore wants another child. Hob enjoys being a father, but they both want Dream to be in the loop this time. Robin was born from their wedding night, and very much not optional, but this one is. So they ask Dream. Elenore even offers him to father the child. Dream declines that and wishes them good luck.

He still watches over Robin. Hob and Elenore decide they will call their child Isleen if it’s a girls name and Reve if it’s a boy. Both names meaning Dream.

And then things go wrong. Elenore gives birth to early. Dream isn’t there in time to help, even though Hob is praying to his husband to please! PLEASE be there. But Elenore is still hanging onto life.

So that is how Death finds out her brother is married to Hob Gadling. When she comes to pick up Elenore Gadling soul, only to find her little brother put the woman to sleep. While looking at her challengingly. Daring her to stop him. Elenore takes her last breath while weeping in the Dreaming. Where Lucienne holds her.

Death let’s Dream hold little Isleen for a second, before guiding her away. She returns and hugs both her brother and her brother in law.

That night Elenore is given a chance, stay in the Dreaming forever or move one. One guess what she chooses.

I honestly think I would keep Robins death the same. Just a bitt different. Hob is still heart broken about the loss, but Elenore is still there, at least for him and he knows she will kick his head in if he neglects their son. So he keeps it together, helped by Dream.

There is no tavern fight. Robin still doesn’t grow older than 21. He is in love and accompanies his chosen partner and her parents to his father’s house when bandits attack. Robin who learned from his fathers doesn’t plays the hero. He just protects the girl he’s in love with. Refuses to let her get hurt. That is what kills him. It’s clean and fast and so far away nobody notices until they do not arrive and Hob sends people out.

After that Hob spends most of his time in the Dreaming holding Elenore and Dream. taking care of the Dreams. He only truly wakes when he’s ripped from his dreams. Elenores wife in shackles before him. People call him a witch. Devils priest. Hob pulls all the stops and makes sure that Elenores wife is safe and the people think he has been keeping her prisoner.

He gets drowned. He escapes. He spends the next 50 years in the Dreaming.

I don’t know how I started with secret marriage between the idiots and ended with kind of polyamory but I’m not mad. Elenore/Hob/Dream in a queer platonic way sounds amazing!

[caffeineandsociety]

It is rapidly coming to my attention just HOW much a certain subset of trans people who are really, really into the Oppression Olympics straight up do not believe in gender nonconformity. Like, they'll pay lip service to it and swear it's valid - but when push comes to shove? Acknowledging that people can be mistaken for transitioning in the opposite direction than they are? Not happening. They'll swear up and down that nonbinary identities are valid, maybe even make a passing acknowledgment of intersex people - but suggest that maybe it would possibly be a good idea to give up their latest "trans-positive" way of categorizing people and trying to extrapolate their entire mentality and personality and life story based solely on what's in their pants? Well THAT'S just more unfathomably transphobic than the entire US Republican platform. Gender nonconformity is valid...but if you choose it you're making a mockery of trans people, tends to be what's expressed an inch below the surface.

But even deeper than that, I realize, a lot of them don't believe gender nonconformity actually even exists, as a long-term thing. A lot of them repackaged the old "bi women are just straight girls looking for attention; bi men are just gay but not ready to come out yet" stereotype with a dash of new lavender scare "find the enemy by hand-based phrenology" thinking into "AFAB trans people who don't eschew EVERYTHING feminine are just stupid transtrenders who will give it up and betray us as soon as it's what's popular; AMAB people who get the SLIGHTEST bit of joy from ANYTHING feminine are just trans woman eggs waiting to crack, and intersex people....[checks notes] Huh I got nothing I guess they don't exist after all!"

The belief just below the surface really does seem to be that, sure, it's fine to play around with a very specific kind of androgyny...if you're a skinny white teenager or EARLY 20-something, but eventually, you'll just grow out of it. You'll settle into being a binary gender, and give up those silly ideas of doing anything that isn't stereotypically aligned with it. AMAB nonbinary? Please, you're a woman, you will always be a woman, you're just too scared to admit it! AFAB nonbinary? You...are also a woman. But the bad kind. The kind it's totally okay and not misogynistic at all to be misogynistic to, because you're hurting REAL trans people by reducing it to a silly girly frivolous game. Nonbinary without a disclosed birth assignment, or intersex? Then we're going to DECIDE which of the OBVIOUSLY only two REAL possible things are in your pants based on what's convenient to make us look right. Transfem butch? You're just afraid to fully stop boymoding - yes, even if you've been on hormones for so long it's literally impossible to pass as a cis man and being more feminine would be safer. Femme transmasc? Literally doesn't exist outside of "annoying" 16-year old skinny white kids on the internet; no one has EVER gone on testosterone long enough to have meaningful changes and still came out of it liking pink and cute stuff and not regretting it and immediately detransitioning and becoming a terf. And cis GNC people? Might as well not exist at all; GNC men are just eggs waiting to crack and cis butches are mostly just a rhetorical device.

In short I hope I don't have to explain that and why this is absolute bullshit.

[juliastory]

to the woman who raised me

- a letter to my Mama in heaven

I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me.

I remember all the times you stayed up late just to make sure I was okay. The times you worked so hard to ensure we had everything we needed, even if I meant going without for yourself. The times you listened to me, comforted me, and gave me strength when I had none. I want you to know that I see all the little things you do. I see the strength in your smile, even when you'te tired. I see the love in your eyes, even when you're worried. I see the beauty in your heart, even when life is tough. Thank you for giving birth to me. Thank you for raising me as a strong woman. Thank you for making all those sacrifices, for providing for my needs and wants, and for always being there for me. Thank you for being the best mother. But you know what Ma? Sometimes I wish you hadn't given birth to me or that you hadn't met my father. Maybe your life would have been so much better..

I saw a post online that asked, "what would you say to the younger version of your mother?"

One thing is for sure, Ma - if I met the younger you, I would tell you to be smart in choosing a partner. I would tell you not to rush into things, I would tell you to enjoy your youth, to cherish every moment. I would encourage you to keep studying, even when it's hard and graduating seems impossible. I would tell you that I'm proud of you and that I'm sorry. I wish could take away all your pain, I wish I could turn back time and make everything right for you. I wish I could give you the happiness you have given me. You deserve all the love in the world, Ma. You deserve to be treated like the queen you are.

In another universe, Ma, I would love to be your mother. I would give you all the things you didn't have, all the good things you do didn't experience, all the foods you didn't get to taste. I would make sure you felt loved and cherished every single day. I would support you in all your dreams, I would hold your hand through every difficulty, and I would celebrate every success with you. You have given me so much, Ma. And if I could, I would give you the world. If I could rewrite our story, I would make sure you had the happiest life imaginable. You deserve nothing less.

But in this lifetime, I promise to be a good daughter, to cherish every moment we have together, and to make you proud in every way I can. I'll strive to embody your strength, kindness, and resilience. I know that your love and wisdom will forever guide me. Thank you for everything, Ma. If I have only one friend left in this world, I want it to be you. You are my rock, my hero, and my bestfriend. I love you more than words can say

[slimshaedy92]

We need to talk about The Great Gatsby (2013)

We don't have to, but I just watched it, and I want to.

It's been a long time since I watched this movie, and I am a very different person than I was in 2013. At that time, I was a Leonardo DiCaprio stan from the Man in the Iron Mask days and I hated Daisy for not choosing Gatsby over her ain't shit husband.

I owe her an apology, and also Nick is gay and in love with Gatsby.

Nick

Real talk that's me with any crush I've ever had.

Nick is just a guy. Poor, wants to be a writer, happens to have rich family he can hang around with and just kind of watch in silent awe at just how rich they are. Loves Daisy, doesn't understand why she wants her daughter to be "a little fool" etc. Then he meets Gatsby, after partaking in the mountains of gossip to be had about him with Jordan (lesbian? I think so). When he meets Gatsby, it's pretty much one of the top ten movie scenes of my life. Perfect score, perfect cinematography, over the top visuals, and Leo being as charming as anyone could possibly be in the year of galaxy leggings and mustache finger tattoos.

Nick instantly falls in love. With that entrance, I would have too.

How do we know he's gay?

Uh, how many people tried to set him up with women?

Daisy

TOM

The sheer distance he's trying to put between himself and Myrtle's sister? Yes they kiss later but this man is plastered by that point.

Also this feels significant I just can't...put my finger on how.

Anyway, Nick meets Gatsby and

This is the face of someone who has just had an awakening and doesn't know what to do about it.

Throughout the rest of the movie, his motivations are influenced by his rose-colored feelings for Gatsby.

Daisy

One of the first things Daisy does when she sees Nick again is tell him about her daughter's birth, and in that story, she gives a lot of context for her emotional state at the time.

Tom wasn't there, "Tom was God knows where *she glances towards Tom* with God knows who" and when the nurse told her it was a girl, she cried and hoped "she'll be a beautiful little fool. That's the best thing a girl can be in this world."

Daisy isn't stupid. She knows what Tom has been doing and will continue to do, but even as a girl from a relatively wealthy family, she's been told what to do her entire life, and as a woman pre-1974, she can't even get a credit card on her own.

Into her life, here comes this charming soldier who sweeps her off her feet in the greenhouse before he's shipped off to war. Presumably she doesn't hear from him and being a debutante pre-modern age, she's expected to marry and do it quick. Tom shows up, she falls in love, and then on her wedding day she hears from Gatsby and immediately wants to call off the wedding. She was willing to stop everything for him when he told her "Wait for me to make something of myself". Stupid thing to ask someone to do, but she was willing to do it at first. Since she wouldn't show anyone the letter, the bridal party probably wore her down and she got married because that was the expected flow of things.

When Daisy and Gatsby see each other again, sparks fly, etc etc, they fall back in love. She does, anyway. There's some very different stuff happening in his mind, but we'll get to that. Daisy eventually says, "I wish we could just run away," and Gatsby gets this weird look on his face and says "Run away? No. Daisy darling, that wouldn't be respectable."

Sir.

Let's unpack that real quick because it's an indicator of things to come.

Daisy has found this guy that she pined for secretly for years and is willing to drop her whole life (theoretically- really doing it is a lot scarier) and run off with him, but Gatsby says what? No. No way. We have to keep up a good image. Image is extremely important to Gatsby and he'll keep reminding us of that.

Gatsby

Ahem.

This man is a walking red flag. We start with his origin story which of course he only shares with Nick (have you ever been in love with your bestie and felt super special when they confided something in you and you alone?) where he's born dirt poor in North Dakota and as soon as he has enough brain cells to rub together, he rejects his parents because no way someone as important as him could be born into this life. The delusions start early.

Later, he meets Captain Cody and, seeing an opportunity to climb the social ladder, becomes his sailing son hoping that when he dies, he'll inherit Cody's money and finally be a rich guy. As Nick later tells this, he says that Gatsby "showed ambition" and was "robbed of his inheritance by Cody's FAMILY".

The rose-colored glasses are thick.

When he meets Daisy, sure yeah falls in love, when he first kisses her he's like ope we're married now in my heart. Leaves to the army but not before realizing that if he's gonna be a social climber, he's gonna have to do it alone. Can't marry her yet. Instead, he sends her a letter expecting her to wait for him for an undisclosed amount of time until he can make some money.

She, a southern debutante in the "prime" of her life (can't become a 21 year old spinster, can we?) is expected to just. Sit around without telling her family she's waiting on a poor boy that's definitely NOT from one of the "illustrious families" they saw at her debut, but specifically "new money" which no one likes. Tom ticked all the boxes and he was there at the time. Gatsby just missed his chance.

Before asking Nick to arrange the meetup between him and Daisy, Gatsby lists off a clearly false life story to Nick as well as parading his connections and awards so that Nick "approves" of him enough to sit him down with Daisy. He thinks that his status, wealth, and great life story matter to this guy who has....none of that. When they do meet for tea, Gatsby has AN ENTIRE FLASH MOB to completely makeover this cottage that Nick is literally just renting in order to make an impression so insane that Daisy is momentarily worried that her cousin really did fall in love with her.

When Nick, Daisy, and Gatsby hang out at Gatsby's place for the day, Gatsby makes a show out of everything he's built (for her, you shout- yes I hear you but like buddy you're coming off a little strong) from the overly complicated orange juice machine "I like anything modern" he says *eye roll* to the camera at the beach. As Daisy dances in the hall of his mind-bogglingly huge house, Gatsby says

Like she's a set piece or an accessory- which she is! Gatsby has a grand image planned for his life and Daisy is just a part of the set- a doll in the dollhouse that he can wave in front of everyone to show how respectable he is.

The Hotel Room

I hate this scene because it's literally a dick-measuring contest between two men arguing over who Daisy actually loves. The entire thing is uncomfortable and you can see that Daisy is about to implode from stress. She's been told what to do her entire life and mostly done it to avoid conflict. Now Gatsby is asking her to make a DIRECT CONFLICT.

The face of a gay that knows shit is about to go DOWN

Gatsby immediately goes to Daisy's side, grabs her hand, and starts FLAUNTING their relationship in front of a big ol' beast of a man.

"She never loved you. You see, she loves me," this big-britches boy says before completely divulging their entire love story to a man that does not want to hear it in front of Daisy who PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT TO SHARE IT.

Tom starts to argue back ABOUT DAISY'S FEELINGS with Daisy right there. "Nah Daisy loved me when she married me and she loves me now-" "No, no, I'm sorry Mr. Buchanan, no" DAISY IS PHYSICALLY RIGHT THERE Y'ALL maybe let her talk I don't know.

"She DOES love me and what's more I love Daisy too. Now once in awhile I go off on a spree, but I always come back." When he says "I love Daisy too", you see a small change in her eyes. Hope. She did love this guy when they got married and it hurts every time he cheats so this is the face of someone that's falling for the sudden love-bombing of an abusive husband.

When Tom says oh I always come back, she changes her tone only into a victim that's finally got enough support and anger to say how she feels. She lays out some dirty laundry as SHE SHOULD.

Her anger rises and she runs to the window to get some air because holy shit she's EXPRESSING HER ANGER and it's SCARY but she needs to process this. Instead of letting her feel her feelings, Gatsby is already past this to where she proclaims her undying love and they move into his castle together.

"That's all over" no it's not- it's literally happening right now. "Tell him you never loved him and this will be wiped out forever."

That's what Gatsby wants- it's not what she wants. She has a whole kid that did happen, and she has happy memories that DID happen. He doesn't care about that. When she tries to do what Gatsby wanted, Tom pushes back by listing specific memories of him treating her at least marginally well, which hurts her because she did love him and probably still does. "I love you now, isn't that enough? I loved him, but I loved you, too." NO. He almost snaps at the "too" because how could the great Jay Gatsby be second to anyone in the heart of a woman he was (spiritually) married to while he climbed the social ladder?

There's more to talk about, but let's just look in at the end real quick.

Gatsby dies thinking Daisy was going to call. Honestly, probably the best thing that could have happened. How would he have handled her rejecting him or running from him after the violence he showed with Tom? Nick tells him "you're worth the whole lot of them together" which he objectively is NOT considering that his real goal was image and he did whatever it took to get that. At his funeral, Nick sits with him and hates everyone else for not being there, especially Daisy. "From Daisy? Not even a flower" he says, when she literally can't even get a credit card on her own. He calls her (and Tom and Jordan) uncaring people that wreck everything, but Daisy was afraid. She'd been told what to do and who to be her entire life in a world that (unless you're a celebrity like Jordan or the movie stars at Gatsby's parties) expects you to submit to a man in some way. She was pressured into probably every decision she ever made in her life, and when Tom showed her kindness after the car accident, the deal was sealed. He offered comfort, the life she knew, her daughter, and safety. Gatsby was the only one that showed potential for physical abuse and that frightened her more than the emotional neglect she'd become used to.

Also Nick is gay and was madly in love with an idealized version of Gatsby because while this man tried to bully his cousin into being his trophy wife, Nick only said "damn that man can really hope."

Anyway.

[your--isgayrights]

You're like one of the only ones that I feel like can answer my question. But anyways, do you think there is a connection between Bathes framework(death of the author ig) being so prominent in HSY's arc and how it relates to JHY's, YSA's, JHW's arcs and their experiences as a woman. Like ik there was some gender stuff goin on with HSY when she was a guy apostle. But I feel like womanhood isn't as explored in her arcs like it is with the three other characters but I feel like you can somehow make a connection 😭 sorry if this is a tall order.

Anon babe I'm very flattered and I'll try to make some connections here, but if someone who is actually woman has something to say about this please come on in and feel free to tell me to stfu 😭😭. Like obv just from living in Society I have concepts of womanhood/gender dynamics/lived experiences of misogyny but also I need you to understand that identification with and appreciation of a personal identity of womanhood is something that I as a person have consistently been repulsed by my entire life. Like the act of wanting/choosing to be a woman is something I will never be able to fully understand or experience.

THAT BEING SAID I HAVE WRITTEN A FEW PARAGRAPHS HERE IN RESPONSE TO YOUR ASK.

TLDR;

authorship is creation outside of motherhood and therefore queer.

narrative control is queer, and therefore disassociation from traditional gender roles comes with increased narrative control.

the narrative of ORV equates Barthes' framework with the "reality" of a reader that has to be challenged by the compassion and love of another person experiencing their own "reality" and authorship of a story is an attempt of that act of impossible communication.

Like ugh ok wanna be clear that I'm not like shim saimdong on the 50,000 won style trying to equate womanhood to this role via like bioessentialist weirdness, but I think that the most obvious connection with authorship and the female characters in orv is the idea of creation that like is sort of tied with motherhood via a character like LSK. Bc yeah if you look at the two big authors writing Kim Dokja's life, it's literally his mom with her prison book and then also Han Sooyoung later on, right?

This is kind of fun to me bc I have a friend whose like actually a lit/film major type person and writing an essay about queer tragedy in film and we were talking about queer narratives and ideas of artificial conception/creation ala Frankenstein, the "unnatural birth." In Western lit tradition this kind of thing has obvi been like connected to horror more modernly, but I think in like early Korean lit (me saying this as a guy who has like only read the Samguk Yusa so 🌾 of 🧂) the connection between unnatural birth and the divine is less complicated and not treated as the same kind of perversion that subversions of nuclear family models have been by narratives in lit largely influenced by a majority religion that values that structure of subservience in the West.

(example of unnatural birth that is fun fine and normal in Samguk Yusa: the first king of Silla is born from an egg and so is his wife and like she even has a beak until it falls off and like Kylie Jenner lip cup style gives her bbl lips /hj.)

The act of authorship can then be seen in/equated with this unnatural birth, or maybe a better term is divine birth. Authorship/narrative control in orv is also shown to be something inherently queer bc like again if you think about LSK and HSY, there is, like you mention Anon, a conflict between the societal role of Woman and becoming an author. Like if you've read feminist lit you are probably already been knew about this but to put it in terms of a referenced text from ORV, there are foundations of an equation of womanhood with motherhood from those very beginnings of Korean lit. The bear mother is a story literally about becoming a woman and that good old neoconfucian influence can be seen in how the path to womanhood for the bear is to completely obey the instructions of a male deity without questioning or straying. She is then "rewarded" by said make deity when they wed and she becomes the mother of Dangun, the deity founder of Korea. This neoconfucian framework of 'womanhood' places emphasis on subservience to higher power and motherhood.

It is notable, then, that the act of becoming an author in Lee Sookyung's case is literally the very action that abandons her child. The act of authorship is juxtaposed from reality, as Kim Dokja's lived experience is retold transformatively and then believed to be true by others and by himself to some degree. Authorship is something that alters the 'natural' and 'real' and divests the author of their subservient societal role. (Abandoning your child #justqueergirlybossthings /j)

So then, let's look at female characters in ORV and their relative relationships to narrative control and femininity. YSA is a good contrast to HSY here, because as you note Anon, reading ORV HSY seems more divorced from womanhood than YSA, but why is that? In all likelihood, it's because YSA takes the place of a certain type of female character that often exists in the stories of this genre, a female colleague who performs her role much better in the original society than the male lead before an entry into the world of the story. Something to also note is, how, despite not being a "character" of the original WoS, YSA is particularly tasked with a role of passivity/narrative inactivity that commonly befalls female characters in the modern day but most notably is exemplified in East Asian lit by the monk Tang Sanzang in Journey to the west. A character who motivates the actions of the main character but is often thwarted in attempts to directly change the narrative and put into inert states (TSZ is told to go somewhere by bodhisattvas and follows their instructions and always gets kidnapped by demons who want to eat his hot cicada body or w/e, YSA studies languages, has her contract renewed, takes the subway when her bike is stolen, gets yanked around by Greek gods and prophetizes herself into a backroom library she can use to peer into the mind of God, etc.) In some ways, bc YSA tends to follow 'the rules,' because she appears to have less awareness and control of the narrative, she also seems to fall more easily into the societal category of "woman." Put directly in contrast with Han Sooyoung, whose perspective on the narrative as a creator leads her to show less care for the lives of those in the story and who actively kills many of said characters without remorse, perhaps contrary to the role of complete creation an comparison of motherhood and authorship might imply, narrative control is power both to create and destroy. If you're in a daoist mood, you could draw a taegeuk and equate this balance of divine birth and unnatural death with the balance of androgyny between feminine and masculine, the balanced whole then being considered a cosmic whole/the absolute/something powerful/ the author, etc. (Singshong being a couple who wrote the book together kind of also adds another layer of context to this in that like in the daoist/Confucian tradition of heteronormativity man and woman together are a complete form, if all cosmos can be divided to binary then the collaboration across that binary recreates the whole, an androgenous true state of creation)

Again, in this way, narrative control/authorship is something that inherently breaks reality and in a heteronormative world this force can be coloured as inherently queer. Thats probably why are transgender girlies JHY and YJH are so significant in that their experiences of womanhood are ones that directly defy the predestination of narrative. There is no direct reveal of YJH having been the Punisher, because it is something beyond narrative understanding, beyond the rules of the universe that Kim Dokja defines as the Reader. JHY's identity directly contradicts the design of the author/creator and reader alike, her choice in her personal gender identity directly defies narrative and in that way gives her agency outside of the realm of "character," her queerness being something that gives her transformative power and control over her reality.

In the matter of Barthes, I would say I'm a bit biased, because I find reading less interesting when the context and the intent of the author are not considered. In fact, I kind of resent that death of the author is sort of a literary standard in that a lot of modern English courses will discourage essays that use terminology like "what the author is trying to say could be" and instead encourage only the use of text, because on the whole I find it less interesting to look at words and not imagine the soul behind them. In some ways, I view death of the author as a selfish framework that emphasizes only the reinforcement of a reader's worldview and desire for escapism in text that doesn't have to be connected to the real world, a delusion. Not to say enjoying a book means one must love the author, but I feel that every reader will naturally have their own (mostly one sided, I suppose) relationship to the author within and without the text, and denying that fact denies personhood to the art form in some ways. In this view, I think one of the reasons I love ORV so much is probably that some of its themes seem to very much agree to this sentiment. Authorship and readership are often equated to this act of "impossible communication" between people. ORV views authorship, the sharing of stories, as this way to impossibly try to understand the life of another person. Part of what gives the text of WoS and then ORV itself so much meaning in the end is the fact that we know who wrote them in the fiction and for what reason. Knowing the author is actually phrased within the text as pivotal, foundationally important, the only understanding that can lead to the salvation of the reader in the end, his knowledge of the person he can recognize in the author's words being himself and the fact that the author's understanding means that he is in some way loved and and known by others who love the same story. When the HSY who wrote WoS is shown to literally cease to be, trying to reach the reader and failing to be seen, it's a scene that makes one cry, a tragedy, a loss. Death of the author is not a preferable frame of analysis in ORV, only connected by a morose sense of inevitability defined by a consumerist literary world that holds said framework as truth.

But again, if death of the author is "reality, " then the ending of ORV is one where radical joy can be found in the breaking of said reality. It's pretty notable from a queer framework that the "happy endings" in ORV all occur in non-nuclear family structures, the 999th turn adopting the OD, KdjCo wanting to live in a house together, etc. Also notable that, because that is a dream that KDJ cannot see as "real," the absolute power the reader is given to determine the world keeps it from happening. In this way, death of the author and absolute power of the reader is the final boss of ORV as HSY and the characters batten down the hatches and scream into the void "YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOUR REALITY IS NOT THE ONLY ONE, LOVE THAT EXISTS FOR NO PREDETERMINED PURPOSE CAN BE YOUR SALVATION."

It's also kind of important to me outside of the text in the understanding that this story, though obviously formulated in the context of trying to appeal to a wide audience for commercial success, is also one that comes from people who experience our reality trying to tell us that love is the answer to it all. Young people today in SK are very likely to at least know someone who has attempted in the past and you know there are some pretty similar statistics if you happen to have friends involved in queer communities here in the US. Because of my own experiences, I've always felt that distinct lack of recovery narratives in fiction, as past generations tend to see it as either so outside the norm or so clearly regulated to certain situations that it's portrayed as obviously wrong choice by a weak person or the obvious right choice by a brave person and ORV is one of very few stories I've seen not try to make a value judgement on it, but rather illustrate exactly the reasons why KDJ wants to die, why he doesn't value himself, and saying please, please stay. There is so much love for you here even though I know you haven't seen it yet. And an understanding that these ideas of love and happiness are something some people in certain situations can only be shown proof of in the stories of others. And I feel like understanding of that context is what makes ORV so important to me as a Reader, even if I know very little about SS aside from that, the fact that they exist as people living in this same world is still important to my enjoyment of the story as a reader.

Ok, sorry, this became more about narrative queerness than death of the author/womanhood but again a lot of my views of womanhood exist in like, opposing it? Lol. Tho my experience of manhood also exists in opposing a lot of it, I just personally enjoy tussling with it much more than I ever would have with womanhood I think lol.

[motheatenscarf]

Okay, here's me saying something positive.

I like the reveal of Wuk Lama's birth father not being a world shaking thing. It hammers home the point about chosen families that Tural itself and Wuk Lamat's own family represent.

I like that Bakuul Ja Ja thinks it will devastate her because bloodlines, lineage, birthrights, those are what matter to him and his people from his perspective. He is the product of eugenics, ergo, in his eyes, her birth father MUST be the most important revelation to her and something he can weaponize. That's good characterization for him.

Her birth father choosing not to directly acknowledge it, but speak around it is also good. He knows he gave her up for a good reason and that Galuul Ja Ja is the one who raised her and therefore the only one who has the right to call her father. He doesn't want to throw her life into chaos or threaten her claim to the throne by stepping into her life NOW. As badly as he wanted to raise her himself, as much as he loved her, this is the path he chose and he's resolved to it.

He says none of these things out loud!

And yet Wuk Lamat still understands them through careful phrasing, body language and emotive expressions. She has never expressed curiosity over her origins and states as much in text that as far as she's concerned, she has only the one parent and needs no others. She is comfortable and secure in the knowledge that she is adopted and takes great pride in being part of a chosen family. When confronted with meeting her birth father, she doesn't reject him and also doesn't press. He's kind and says as much as he can without giving away the entire truth to her, and she respects that while leaving the door open.

There's a quiet little exchange after the succession ceremony where she meets back up again with the allies she made along the way. Her birth father says something to the effect of, "Your father must be so proud" to describe how the former Dawnservant feels to see her take up his mantle. Wuk Lamat smiles and says that yes, he is, but it does sometimes make her wonder what her birth parents would say to see her now. He smiles back and says he'd imagine that they'd find their hearts filled with joy to see the strong, compassionate woman she's become.

It's a good moment. I like this moment a lot. It's great characterization for Wuk Lamat too. To me this is the best and most compelling example of her being compassionate, insightful, and supportive of others. It's mature, understated, and dignified.

[anamericangirl]

Abortion can cause PTSD? Gee you know what else can cause PTSD? Being forced to give birth. Guess we should just ban pregnancy all together to ensure no woman ever has to suffer. Never mind that less biased studies show no real link between abortion and higher levels of PTSD and that those who did tended to have other reasons for it, you know like they're being beaten or they were raped or people keep screaming about how horrible they are for choosing to get an abortion. Shocking that women who have shitty lives that makes em predisposed to mental illness and don't feel able to raise a kid seek abortions more often than happy people who have no problems in their lives and are perfectly set up to raise a child isn't it?

I would really love to see these "less biased studies" you'll keep telling me about but never seem able to produce.

You guys also keep using rape victims as arguments for abortion when, in reality, abortion is often used to cover up rape and helps the rapist and if you care so much about rape victims it would seem like that might bother you at least a little bit.

And I just wonder why, when you know that it's mostly vulnerable, struggling women seeking an abortion you think we should kill their kid instead of helping the woman? Murdering a child doesn't help that woman at all. She's still in the same position she was in. The pro-life position is help the woman out of the shitty position. Give her whatever kind of support and help she needs to have her baby. You're too lazy to help the woman so you're just going to advocate getting rid of the kid as if you're the good guy here.

Like you make all these emotional appeals and pretend to care so much and act like the only solution is the violent murder of a baby when in fact the opposite is true and you claim you have the non-biased studies on your side but when I research the topic everything says you're wrong. So please, show me these "less biased studies" I keep hearing so much about.

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

Carnival of Aros June 2023: My Future

This is a piece I wrote for the June 2023 Carnival of Aros, themed around being aromantic in an allonormative world.

CW: this piece will briefly discuss the fact that we live in a queerphobic world, and that anti-autistic ableism is a risk that autistic people may face when entering intimate relationships. It’s all only short mentions, but they’re there.

Carnival of Aros June 2023: My Future

At twenty years old, I will hopefully have a lot more life left to live. Presently, I am thinking about the sort of future I would like to build for myself. Where would I see myself in ten years time, twenty, or even thirty and beyond? Where would I end up? What sort of relationships would I find myself in?

I know roughly what sort of work I would like to try and do. The future is uncertain, but I do hope to fight and push for a better one. But then the question comes to where I see myself in my personal life. And then, that’s when I realise I don’t really have a very good answer. 

In my country, one can only apply for single home ownership once one reaches the age of thirty-five. If not, you can only apply for a home if you are doing it with your biological family, if you are widowed, if you are orphaned, or if you are married. The government is pushing more pro-natal policies in the hopes of bringing up the birth rate. And of course, to a conservative culture like this, that means encouraging as many young people to pair up and marry as soon as possible, and pump out as many children as possible (so long as you can afford it, they would caveat). 

Well, I guess that’s all fine and good, if that’s the life you would want. But, truthfully, it’s not a life for me. 

I don’t think it was ever easy for me to imagine myself as a wife. I’d thought about sex, and I’d thought about a wedding, and I’d entertained the thought of being a mother before. But being a wife? It just… doesn’t seem like a life for me. Since losing connection with the religiosity of my upbringing, connecting with my aromanticism, and thinking more and more about what I would like out of life. Marriage as a lifestyle, if I were to realistically think about it, seems less and less like something I would need out of my life. 

If I were to choose an ideal form of emotional support, one which I would like to give and receive, it would be in the form of a close, tight-knit network of many different friends. All of whom I’m emotionally close with, whom I get to fulfil different emotional needs with. It’s something that still doesn’t seem quite realistic in the world we currently live in though. Where would we all live? Would our families all approve? Would we be able to hold together as a group? Will I be able to find people who want the same things I do? Especially when so many people seem to desire a heterosexual, heteromantic, monogamous marriage. Who could dedicate the same level of emotional support one gives their family or their spouse to their unmarried friend? In the world we live in today, that doesn’t seem to be likely. 

And I could go a conventional route. Find a guy to marry out of convenience. Except… this doesn’t seem fair. There would be a certain type of love that I would be expected to return. A type of love which I fear I don’t have in me to feel or express to another. And it would be hard to find other aromantics. Queerness of any kind isn’t readily embraced by many of the people of this country. Few people would know about aromanticism. As an autistic woman, I already know how risky it is with entering a romantic relationship with someone who does not understand what you are. Someone who would expect you to conform to a certain image, and who may resent you for failing to fulfil that image. I’ve heard the stories, I know the fear. Aromanticism will inevitably complicate matters.

As it is, I nevertheless feel myself inevitably being pushed in the direction of some form of monogamous straight relationship. It may be the fear of being alone forever. It may be the fear of having no one to look after me, should anything happen to me in the future. It may be the fear of being perceived as immature. Mostly though, it may be because when so many forces of society wish for someone to be a certain way, sometimes they give up, and they take the path of least resistance. It’s a wimpy response, but it’s one I sometimes wonder if I will fall into. Sometimes, I wonder if I will really, truly, give up and settle.

It is difficult to push back against the tide, especially when it feels like you’re going at it alone. 

I don’t have very many hopeful thoughts pertaining to my future relationships, or of getting the sort of emotional intimacy I hope to get. Maybe I could fight. Maybe I could work towards a better future. For all queer people, for the next generation. Maybe things would be better for the people of the future.

But for now, it is what it is. I don’t know where my future is headed. But if there is a spark of hope I can hold onto, I certainly wish that that hope will find some way to materialise. 

[deepestuniversallove]

I have had a discussion with @dagdasgoddess and it's kind of an interesting thought.

Why is it that in humans, the natural order has been reversed like this? In nature, we all know that women are a precious resource, for only they can give birth to the next generation. That is why in almost all species, the males are the ones competing for a female - by being as pretty as possible, preening themselves, learning mating dances and elaborate rituals and sometimes even risking their very lives (Iike in mantises).

Yet in humans, there was a reversal at some point that doesn't seem to mesh with our animalistic, primal nature. Here, instead of the men competing for women by being as pretty as possible, suddenly it has become the women's task to be beautiful and be pretty and desirable. Entire multi-billion dollar enterprises profit off of this reversal, advertising all manner of beauty products and even operations to women, just so they can find an often sub-par man who could never match up to the woman's beauty. It has fostered an entitlement in men leading to incels thinking that even if they are basement dwellers, women are supposed to fall for them.

We even see that in some social engineering going on. Have you ever wondered why in most anime, the male protagonist looks like the most generic dude while all the women are flashy and pretty, with big boobs and colored hair in elaborate styles? If animals made anime, it would be the other way around - generic women with flashy, pretty men, just as nature intended.

This is why I hate this argument I have seen in countless fandoms - "the man is very pretty so HE MUST BE GAY". NO. Why are we linking pretty men with gayness so automatically? Why are fujoshis insisting that every pretty man wants to fuck other men just because he actually cares to cultivate his beauty? Why are fandoms hating on hetero ships/selfships so much or saying that women shouldn't lust over pretty fictional men? When this is, in fact, a return to nature in a way? Women are SUPPOSED to choose the prettiest man available, because it indicates good genetics.

I think that we as humans should return to nature - accept that men can look pretty for us, and that maybe they could use some beauty products as well without being automatically labeled as gay or unmanly. Maybe guys also want to get dolled up and go to a beauty salon for a spa day! Wanting to do that has nothing to do with their sexuality.

In conclusion: I wish Fandom police would accept that selfships with pretty men are NATURAL. If you are crushing on a pretty guy, don't be guilt-tripped by Fandom into believing you are doing something wrong or morally reprehensible. If you want your self-insert to be plain, just do it! I guarantee you your pretty men will still love you!! And don't let the internalized misogyny that some fujoshis project outwards affect you! Be free and be yourself!