#carnival of aros 2023

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

Living an Aromantic Life

This is my submission for the September 2023 Carnival of Aros prompt: Visions of Aromantic History, hosted by arotechno this month. I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Some time earlier this year, I had decided that I would like to go out and live an aromantic life. Mentally, I had made up a distinction between simply ‘identifying’ under aromanticism as a concept, and actively living a life which is notably aromantic in character. 

Of course, that begs the question: what exactly does it mean to live as an aromantic?

As a concept, being ‘aromantic’ is rather new, evolved from modern ideas of romance, marriage, and relationships. As such, I often feel like I could see myself in a varied multitude of situations. Perhaps I would have been in an arranged marriage, running a shop with a husband I saw more as a business partner than as a lover. Maybe I would have been a nun, unpartnered with anyone. Or maybe I would have been a Golden Orchid Society member, either partnered with another woman, or living independently. All these set-ups and situations are formed inherently by their time and place in history. And I can see bits and pieces of who I am in all these hypotheticals. 

And well, it’s nice to know that there was likely a past for people like me. But what does it say about the present? And how would one like to be remembered in the future? That’s the eternal question. After living my life and meditating on that question, I think… I still don’t quite have a perfect answer. But I do still have an answer, based entirely on where I am presently in my life. 

Society is heteronormative and amatonormative. As it is, marriage to one partner of the opposite sex, followed by the birth of children, is seen as a crucial life goal that everyone should aspire towards. Even if people say that one doesn’t need to be married or have children in order to have a happy life, society is still very much structured with this form of family in mind. Our ideas, laws and systems around housing, elder and childcare, education, healthcare and more are set up with this assumption in mind. It is a societal problem. And it screws over countless individuals who do not lead lives in accordance to this societal ideal, among them including many aromantics. 

For that reason, I feel like with where I am now, ‘living an aromantic life’ would mean trying to fight against these systems. 

I am trying to engage in activist work in my country. Trying to learn some useful skills. Things related to healthcare (my area of work) sure, but also things like learning and improving in different languages, learning to transcribe. All things which will be useful should such a skill be needed. They’re all baby steps now. And someday, I hope that we can abolish all oppressive systems within our societies. Including the heteronormative and the amatonormative. 

And under a society like that, no doubt our ideas on romance and love and aromance would transform as well. I, for one, would love to bring about that future. And I hope that, whatever I do now, I will do it well, do it proudly, and do it such that in the future, if there is someone like me. Someone who internally feels similarly around feelings of romantic love. I hope that this hypothetical person can look back on what I do now, and feel some pride at seeing themselves. 

[aspecs-positivity]

Carnival of Aros June 2023 Roundup Post

Hey once again to the aro community!

June is over and there have been some WONDERFUL submissions shared, and I can't be selfish and keep them to myself. So here are the submissions that were shared with me (they're shared in hyperlinks, click the name of the post to access them) :

Aromantic in an Allonormative World (shared by Elin on her blog "The Aromantic Perspective")

My Future (shared by Tabby on Tumblr)

Managing Expectations in an Allonormative World (shared by Frawley on their blog "Nothing Radical")

We Need More Focus on Aromanticism (shared by Mia on their blog "Writing For Life")

Calling for more diverse media representation (shared by Sara on her blog "Blog of Sara Jakša")

A Tumblr submission made by user nonesensed.

Thanks everyone who submitted, and if you still want to write about this topic, you're free to. You can send it to me and I'll share it!

Conversations like these are important if we want to progress aro awarness. Also, remember to check out this month's call for submissions.

[askanaroace]

Carnival of Aros: Loneliness Round-Up Post

July's Carnival of Aros theme of Loneliness is a wrap!

I got a ton of really great - and diverse - responses.

I Am Charles Baker Harris shared her piece "On Singleness and Christian Culture", weaving together personal anecdotes on being single and never having a serious relationship at age 29, the influence of Christian purity culture on dating and romance, and how being single has historically been empowering and even a rebellion against patriarchy. Phoebefrog submitted "Loneliness", detailing what loneliness feels like to them and how they plan on trying to combat this feeling. Sildarmillion wrote both "Maybe someday I will meet somebody like me" and "Relationship advice be all about dating". "Maybe someday" is a personal observation on kindred spirits and connection. "Relationship advice" is the observation that society only seems to recognize romantic(+sexual) relationships on multiple levels. Tabby-shieldmaiden produced her piece "Connect" on how finding the right label for you can help you feel less alone, as it did her, including a plea to take intracommunity issues seriously so that EVERYONE can feel welcome and connected. Finally, on this askanaroace blog, I admitted "I Don't Think I Experience It" after polling four alloplatonic alloromantic allosexuals who had very strong, heartbreaking descriptions of what loneliness felt like to them.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and time!

If this has inspired you at all to participate more actively in the carnival via hosting, please reach out to Carnival of Aros to volunteer!

[bookmothic-dyke]

☆ Anarcho-Socialist Witch Dyke ☆

Warning. Blog mentions nsfw topics, mostly kink, on occasion. Mostly about fucking mothman. Block #kink #body horror #trauma #sapphic disaster, if you wish to avoid it.

Hello, I’m Gwyndolyn, call me Gwyn, Gwynnie, or Bookmoth.

A 22 year old Californian trans faekin girl majoring in ecology and evolution, and plans to study writing. A pagan witch and anarcho-socialist, with so much autism and childhood trauma. And spends most of her time bed-rotting, procrastinating on homework, putting on cute outfits, or writing body horror about monster girls.

Also. Transphobes, racists, authoritarians, zionists, pedophiles, zoophiles, capitalists, TERFs, homophobes, and all forms of bigots, you ain’t welcome by any measure. Get lost and trip in a ditch.

- Gender🏳️‍⚧️: Trans girl (genderfae) with a splash of xenogender. Otherkin fae, and periodically vampire. I have been transitioning on E since April 2023. Prog since June 2024.

- Sexuality🏳️‍🌈: Lesbian. Women and nonbinary people. Allosexual and somewhat aro-spec and very polyamorous. I have two amazing girlfriends, @faegirluwu and @reliablegal

- Special interests👁️: Extinct creatures & fossils, birds & insects, folklore and magick, vampires and fae, evo and spec evo, fantasy and sci-fi, linguistics and conlangs, true crime, cryptids, and body horror.

- Hobbies📝: Writing, reading, TTRPGs, drawing, gardening, worldbuilding, walking, watching action movies, listening to music, and thrift shopping.

- Fandoms🌟: Dimension 20, Dungeon Meshi, SCP, Gravity Falls, Ever After High, Vampire The Masquerade, Carnival Row

- Favorite Books📖: This Is How You Loose The Time War, Lunar Chronicles, The Lost Girls, What Big Teeth, Honeybloods, and Gideon the Ninth

- Favorite Movies 🎥 : The Princess Bride, Bullet Train, Bit, The Wild Robot, The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift

Writing

My current WIP is called DATE BITE. It's a sapphic story about a transfem vampire, Annie Meadows, trying to survive her first night of undeath . . . and possibly kiss her monster hunting high school bff, Bea Baker.

Though I’m also working on a TTRPG system and setting called MYSTWORK HEART. An eldritch and folk horror steampunk game, about playing half-angel wizards on a train powered by sin. All in a world recovering from an anomalous catastrophe two hundred years before. (It’s set in the past of the DATE BITE world)

1. Top left Is my fae form by me.

2. Top right is me by @reliablegal.

3. Bottom left is my fae form by @atomiccherr1bomb.

4. Bottom right is my fae form by @absoluterobin

[arotechno]

September 2023 Carnival of Aros Call for Submissions: Visions of Aro History

The Carnival of Aros is a monthly aromantic/arospec blogging carnival. You can find the roundup of July 2023 submissions for the theme “Loneliness” here.

Anyone can write a post to be featured in the carnival. Just post a link to your submission in the comments, DM it to me on tumblr, or email me at technotrashcan@gmail.com. Submissions are due by September 30.

This month’s theme is: Visions of Aro History

The aromantic community as we think of it is still relatively new, and always growing and evolving. As someone who has personally watched the aro community grow quite a lot over the course of nearly a decade now, I often wonder how much we don’t know, and how many of us—as current-day aros—will be remembered in the future.

That’s why, for this month, I want to discuss our personal visions of aro history. Some sample prompts include:

What does aro history mean to you? What is your own personal history with aromanticism or the aromantic community?

As a relatively fledgling community, we don’t have many role models or ways of envisioning an aromantic future. What does this feel like for you? Is it frightening? Empowering?

What is your favorite bit of aromantic history?

Over the years, many terms, concepts, jokes, etc. within the aro community have been lost. What is one piece of aro history you wish was still in use or better known today?

Although we have records of folks using the word “aromantic” as far back as the early 2000s, we have always existed. What do you wish we knew about early aromantic history? What do you wish you could say to people from the past who did not have the language to express what we would call aromanticism?

Years from now, what is something from today that you hope is remembered as a piece of aro history?

What do you hope is different in the future?

At the end of the month or shortly thereafter, I will post a roundup of everyone’s responses. Anyone and everyone is welcome to participate! Happy blogging!

[francicide]

stuff i found from my very early 2023/late 2022 pronouny. uhh.

tags: @id-pack-archive

NAMES

pt: Names end pt

Howard, whistler, vincent, edward, bruce, samuel, joesph, prophet, neo, norman, romeo, kingston, henry, jerome, jeremiah, carnival, jack, artie, amnesia, vegas, harvey, julie, jim, jason, louis, max, winston, lucky, pluto, allison, clarice, lora, hector, apollo, valentino, alastar, laurence, veronica, rosemary, victor, rouge, addison, francisco, wilson, oswald, william, sparky, frankie, rocket, fang, cat, lyric, scarlet, benny, junk, hyde, sadie, eight, domino, chance, roulette, asrael, mustang, molly, cameron, anubis, clark, kent, jake, steven, wasp, chrome, fred, spring, haywire, sunny, bonnie, ashton, renard, voss, nathaniel, oscar, peter, junebug, wombat, indiana, mortie, noir, vannie, cabbie, newton, lloyd, cherry, goldie, miguel, dave, bill, horror, confetti, muse

PRONOUNS

pt: Pronouns end pt

he/him, it/its, ink/inks, sh?/h?r, h?/h?m, th☆y/th☆m, fle/flesh, rit/ritual, haha/haha, invest/investigate, cri/crime, myst/mystery, ax/axe, bit/bite, bon/bone, brai/brain, bug/bug, bu/burn, carni/carnivore, ch/chaos, chor/chord, clow/clown, clu/clue, core/cores, co/coin, dia/dial, foe/foes, fun/funs, goo/goop, gui/tar, gut/guts, hope/hopes, joke/jokes, lie/lies, lo/loop, lord/lords, mask/masks, mob/mobs, mon/ster, note/notes, officer/officers, or/organ, rabi/rabid, ret/ro, ring/rings, save/savior, shee/sheep, sheri/sheriff, skull/skulls, song/songs, ma/smart, star/fish, sta/static, tru/truth, wor/ship, i/me, h*/h*m, [redacted]/[redacted], @/@s, #/#s, ☆/☆s, 🦇/🦇s, 🥩/🥩s, 🔪/🔪s, 🕊️/🕊️s/, 🐧/🐧s, dis/disease, abyss/abyssal, ae/aer, ang/angel, anim/animal, anti/antis, arcade/arcades, bari/baritones, a/aro, ay/am, bun/buns, bun/bunny, byte/bytes, cat/cats, choke/chokes, ci/cipher, cor/corpse, cor/corv, crea/create, creep/creeps, cry/cries, dae/dem, dead/deads, dea/death, doll/dolls, drop/drip, elec/tric, eu/euro, eye/strain, fa/faun, fla/flare, fi/fire, fix/fixs, fi/fizzy, fool/fools, four/fourth, fox/foxs, fluff/fluffs, fur/furs, gala/galas, gho/ghost, giggle/giggles, gli/glitch, gli/glitter, gi/grr, gore/gores, grime/grimes, hab/habit, heir/heirs, honk/honks, hy/hyena, hy/hym, hymn/hymns, hx/hxm, hum/hums, hu/hush, hyp/hyper, idol/idols, kin/kins, kni/knight, lol/lols, lost/sheep, lo/love, mad/mads, medi/medical, meow/meows, mim/mimicks, mir/miracle, moo/moos, moon/moons, mo/mourn, musi/music, ni/night, no/non, nov/nova, of/ofs, op/oprea, other/others, pain/pains, paw/paws, pos/sum, poison/poisons, polyb/polybius, rabbi/rabbit, racc/raccoon, rai/rains, ram/rams, rat/rats, rawr/rawrz, rep/tile, ribb/ribbit, rule/ruler, scene/scenes, sea/seas, se/ser, sly/slim, spark/sparks, star/stars, stim/stims, survivor/survivors, syn/synth, the/then, thou/thee, vamp/vamps, voi/voids, vi/rus, were/wolf, whisp/whisps, wing/wings, woo/wools, wol/wolf, wy/wire, wyv/wyvern, xe/xeno, xyz/xyz, you/your, ze/zer, kit/kits, thon/thons, eel/eels, pey/pen, pocket/pockets, chemic/chemical, moss/mosses, dem/demo, lin/linen, unknown/unknowns, hi/hiss, ith/iths, mal/ware, crow/crows, nor/mal, code/codes, cy/cyber, shark/sharks, woof/woofs, silly/sillys, .doc/.docs, .exe/.exes, k9/k9s, h3/h1m, sh3/h3r, 3rr0r/3rr0rs, 0/0s, 3/3s, 6/6/s, 7/7s, 9/9s, 𖤐/𖤐s, ███/███, 💤/💤s, 🐁/🐁s, 🎶/🎶s, 🐚/🐚s, 🕹️/🕹️s, 🪱/🪱s, 🩹/🩹s, 🐍/🐍s, 💉/💉s, 🧿/🧿s, ✒️/✒️s, ⛓️/⛓️s, 🃏/🃏s, 🦴/🦴s, 🎭/🎭s, ☎️/☎️s, 🎲/🎲s, 🌕/🌖s, 🦈/🦈s

and ̴̡͈̜̙̜̫͉͈̲̺̦͕̦̳̒͌͐̓̉̆̀͆̓͘/̴̼̹͑ ̸̛̝̩̫̫̲̱̎͌̇̑̇̑̀̕̕/̵̤̺̣̝͙̱̙͋̋̍̈́̓̽ ̶̛͇̙̺͔̬͓̼̭̭̞̗͖̙͗́̎̆͛͌͝ ̶̨̬̙̤͍̮̗̙̟͉̊͑ͅ/̴̧̧̲̟̏̎͒̍̕

TITLES

pt: Titles end pt

The creature, prn who loves glitchcore, prn who embodies retrocore, prn who loves aesthetics, the creature, prn who is an angel, prn who loves obscure media/things, the loud one, the roleplayer, prn before who prn is now, prn who loves 2010 (games).

[exploringaspec]

November 2023 Submissions for Carnival of Aros

I'm Rachel, the host of November's Carnival of Aros theme and one of the authors for AUREA's book project. This month's theme was aplatonicism. I was inspired to host this month's theme on this topic because of all of the interesting blog posts that I've come across on Tumblr on the topic. My submission for this month was on the topic of Aplatonic vs. Loner. In this post, I explored my feelings on the two terms and my identity on the aplatonic and aromantic spectrums as I've transitioned from being non-partnering to being in a romantic relationship.

I received two other submissions for this month's theme.

In Platonic Attraction and the Meaning of Friendship, Sara explored her feelings on the term aplatonic in relation to her experience with connecting with others and socializing. While she experiences some similarities with the term, it is not a term she would use to describe herself.

In Aplatonic Advice, askanaroace provides advice to those who think they may be aplatonic and links to other posts on the topic.

[aspecs-positivity]

Carnival of Aros June 2023 Call For Action - Being aromantic in an allonormative world

Hello dear readers!

I hope you're all interested in this month's Carnival of Aros' topic.

The topic we that was chosen is... [drumrolls please]

Being aromantic in an allonormative world!

What does "allonormative" mean? You might have guessed it, it means "the assumption that everyone is allo (-romantic or -sexual)".

You can write about anything that relates to your experiences or opinions with allonormativity. You can find allonormativity almost everywhere you look, and I want how everyone feels about it and their experiences going through it. Do you find it acceptable, or do you hate it?

Some prompts/ideas if you need them:

How do you feel about the overromantisation in media (like movies and TV shows)? How do you feel about seeing too much romance in entertainment, especially when the piece isn't advertised as a "romance" piece?

How does the pressure to conform to romantic ideals affect people's self-perception, relationships with others, and overall well-being?

How does allonormativity influence the meaning of love and relationships in society? Have you been 'accused' of being a [romantic] relationship with someone because you showed too much affection or got 'too close to them to just be friends'?

How do laws affect aromantisism? Do you think non-romantic relationships should have some of the legal benefits romantic (married) couples get?

Of course, you can write about anything and it doesn't have to be related to these prompts, as long as it follows the general theme of allonormativity.

The deadline is ~June 30th. Please submit your writing before then, but sending it in a couple of days later is acceptable!

You can send in your writing by either reblogging this post with your writing, emailing me at eevee.professional@gmail.com or using this Google form (https://forms.gle/M38Lo6C1D9pqtew67).

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

Carnival of Aros April 2023 Roundup Post

Well, April is over. Which means it’s time for the roundup post for this month’s Carnival of Aros! This month, I asked for submissions centered around the theme of family, what are your thoughts on it and what you feel about it. Thank you so much to all who participated. Here are this month’s submissions:

Nothing Radical: https://nothingradical.blog/2023/04/23/how-society-delegitimizes-aromantic-family/

Sara Jakša: https://sarajaksa.eu/2023/04/my-though-on-finding-a-family-carnival-of-aros/

AskAnAroAce: https://www.tumblr.com/askanaroace/715817413045813248/april-carnival-of-aros-family-afamilial

Ace Film Reviews: https://acefilmreviews.wordpress.com/2023/04/29/family-wondering-what-could-have-been/

Rachel: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_zHaZQ5rAkvLN5iUcIHck64A74SUF_VL/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=109701227099189063791&rtpof=true&sd=true

Once again, thank you so much to all for participating in this month’s Carnival of Aros. I look forward to further conversations, and future Carnival of Aros events.

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

Carnival of Aros June 2023: My Future

This is a piece I wrote for the June 2023 Carnival of Aros, themed around being aromantic in an allonormative world.

CW: this piece will briefly discuss the fact that we live in a queerphobic world, and that anti-autistic ableism is a risk that autistic people may face when entering intimate relationships. It’s all only short mentions, but they’re there.

Carnival of Aros June 2023: My Future

At twenty years old, I will hopefully have a lot more life left to live. Presently, I am thinking about the sort of future I would like to build for myself. Where would I see myself in ten years time, twenty, or even thirty and beyond? Where would I end up? What sort of relationships would I find myself in?

I know roughly what sort of work I would like to try and do. The future is uncertain, but I do hope to fight and push for a better one. But then the question comes to where I see myself in my personal life. And then, that’s when I realise I don’t really have a very good answer. 

In my country, one can only apply for single home ownership once one reaches the age of thirty-five. If not, you can only apply for a home if you are doing it with your biological family, if you are widowed, if you are orphaned, or if you are married. The government is pushing more pro-natal policies in the hopes of bringing up the birth rate. And of course, to a conservative culture like this, that means encouraging as many young people to pair up and marry as soon as possible, and pump out as many children as possible (so long as you can afford it, they would caveat). 

Well, I guess that’s all fine and good, if that’s the life you would want. But, truthfully, it’s not a life for me. 

I don’t think it was ever easy for me to imagine myself as a wife. I’d thought about sex, and I’d thought about a wedding, and I’d entertained the thought of being a mother before. But being a wife? It just… doesn’t seem like a life for me. Since losing connection with the religiosity of my upbringing, connecting with my aromanticism, and thinking more and more about what I would like out of life. Marriage as a lifestyle, if I were to realistically think about it, seems less and less like something I would need out of my life. 

If I were to choose an ideal form of emotional support, one which I would like to give and receive, it would be in the form of a close, tight-knit network of many different friends. All of whom I’m emotionally close with, whom I get to fulfil different emotional needs with. It’s something that still doesn’t seem quite realistic in the world we currently live in though. Where would we all live? Would our families all approve? Would we be able to hold together as a group? Will I be able to find people who want the same things I do? Especially when so many people seem to desire a heterosexual, heteromantic, monogamous marriage. Who could dedicate the same level of emotional support one gives their family or their spouse to their unmarried friend? In the world we live in today, that doesn’t seem to be likely. 

And I could go a conventional route. Find a guy to marry out of convenience. Except… this doesn’t seem fair. There would be a certain type of love that I would be expected to return. A type of love which I fear I don’t have in me to feel or express to another. And it would be hard to find other aromantics. Queerness of any kind isn’t readily embraced by many of the people of this country. Few people would know about aromanticism. As an autistic woman, I already know how risky it is with entering a romantic relationship with someone who does not understand what you are. Someone who would expect you to conform to a certain image, and who may resent you for failing to fulfil that image. I’ve heard the stories, I know the fear. Aromanticism will inevitably complicate matters.

As it is, I nevertheless feel myself inevitably being pushed in the direction of some form of monogamous straight relationship. It may be the fear of being alone forever. It may be the fear of having no one to look after me, should anything happen to me in the future. It may be the fear of being perceived as immature. Mostly though, it may be because when so many forces of society wish for someone to be a certain way, sometimes they give up, and they take the path of least resistance. It’s a wimpy response, but it’s one I sometimes wonder if I will fall into. Sometimes, I wonder if I will really, truly, give up and settle.

It is difficult to push back against the tide, especially when it feels like you’re going at it alone. 

I don’t have very many hopeful thoughts pertaining to my future relationships, or of getting the sort of emotional intimacy I hope to get. Maybe I could fight. Maybe I could work towards a better future. For all queer people, for the next generation. Maybe things would be better for the people of the future.

But for now, it is what it is. I don’t know where my future is headed. But if there is a spark of hope I can hold onto, I certainly wish that that hope will find some way to materialise. 

[askanaroace]

If you're looking for a(nother) way to participate in Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, Carnival of Aros is hosting a few prompts! Do as many or as few as you wish!

In celebration of this year’s Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, which runs from February 19th to February 25th, the Carnival of Aros will be hosting several prompts for folks to respond to! You can respond to one each day of the week if you like, or all or a few at once. To participate, write a blog post or create content related to the theme- any platform is acceptable as long as it is public and has a link. Then, submit the link in the comments below or through an email to carnivalofaros@gmail.com.

If you don’t have a way to host your submission, email it to carnivalofaros@gmail.com, and we’ll take care of it for you. Submissions are due February 28, 2023. A round up post with all of the submissions we receive will be posted after that.

The Prompts:

What do you look forward to the most during ASAW?

In what ways do you celebrate ASAW?

What are things you’d like to see in the future for ASAW?

Share with us a poem, song or short story or written piece about ASAW

Do you have any great memories from past ASAW events?

Do you have any self-care rituals for taking care of yourself during ASAW?

Do allies in your life help celebrate ASAW, and if so, how?

We’re looking forward to seeing everyone’s thoughts! Happy ASAW, everyone!

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

Carnival of Aros July 2023: Connect

This is my submission for the July 2023 Carnival of Aros. This month’s theme is loneliness, and you can view the full call for submissions here.

Anyways, I hope you all find something meaningful in this quick thing I wrote out!

It had never been easy for me to relate to other people. A part of that is because of neurodivergence reasons. I already think in ways which are considered ‘atypical’ compared to the majority. A part of that is because over the course of my life, I had managed to amass a number of weird experiences which have made it rather hard to readily relate to others. It is a bit of a bother sometimes, but I’ve been trying hard to not mind it. Everyone is unique, after all. It’s fine if one doesn’t one-hundred percent relate to what other people go through. Unusual people simply add to the diversity of humanity, and enriches the species as a result. 

Besides, when I actually look at what I am on paper, I’m actually not as weird and unusual as I think I am, really. At times, I do feel I can be rather melodramatic.

Still, keeping these things in mind still doesn’t help when I feel like I am all alone. And it is a rather upsetting feeling, when it seems like one doesn’t have a tribe to truly belong to. Plenty of people say it doesn’t matter if one doesn’t have anything to call themselves. That ultimately it’s better for one to just do what they want to do, and worry about labels later. And I suppose people are right, but there is still something important to keep in mind. Ultimately, the labels are so that you can meet other people to connect with. When you try to be yourself, and who you are doesn’t present with many obvious labels, it can be hard to find other people to connect with. And that’s ultimately what this issue is all about for a while. I was sick of being alienated, and I wished I could connect with other people the way other people did.

Things have gotten better as I have grown up. But I still remember how things were when I was younger. When things were much harder, and I was way more isolated.

I was a pretty sheltered kid growing up. And I think that shelteredness only added to my difficulty making friends. I had hoped for a while that my assumed ‘strangeness’ was just growing pains. That someday I will grow up and outgrow this. That I will become some sort of recognisable person, that I would be a ‘normal girl’. A part of that idea, to me, was growing up and experiencing this ‘love’ thing other people talked about. When children grow into teenagers, they said, they will get crushes on people. They will find someone they like. And they may even go on and date someone, have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. 

For a while, I waited. And I waited and I waited. I had thought that things I felt in the past were crushes, but that didn’t really turn out to be true. And it was so frustrating for me, when I realised that I wasn’t a regular person like that. It felt like another way in which I was not a real human. 

Coming to terms with my aromanticism ultimately ended up being helpful to remedying this feeling. This was because, well, I realised I could stop pretending to experience something I did not. And more importantly, I realised that by doing so, I could find other people who I could share experiences with. It was a strange feeling. Finding a label to call myself which really fitted what I had gone through, and finding people there too, who may have interesting insights into what it means to be this thing. That had… rarely happened before in my life. I was feeling a little bit more empowered to come into my own. Not only because I realised there were narratives in the world that map onto my experiences, but also because, now that I know what my life could be shaped like, I feel more secure in the ways it deviates from the shape. 

It fits. Not in the sense that it wraps me snugly and conforms to my measurements perfectly. But in the sense that I like it enough that I am willing to put up with the bagginess. 

Aromantics as a community struggle with loneliness. Aspecs, and queer people in general really. And it is true, there is a lot which needs to be done to solve this issue. Besides fighting against queerphobia and amatonormativity in society, we have to work on intra community issues. We have to work to make spaces safer and more accessible for everyone. Regardless of ethnicity, ability, and so on. And because I realise that I had a community to call my own, I now know that if there are problems in my community, I have to do my part to work on them. 

And because I know that this is a community, I know that I do not have to be alone in trying to work on them.

[arotechno]

Carnival of Aros Sept 2023 Roundup

That's a wrap on the Carnival of Aros for September 2023! This month's theme was Visions of Aro History.

Tabby submitted a piece called 'Living an Aromantic Life' about what it means to not only identify as aro, but to live as an aro, in the past, present, and future. Jules wrote about their own personal history with the aromantic label and the struggle to find accounts of aromanticism throughout history. Sara Jakša wrote 'I Want to Know more about Aro History' about the differences in the conceptions of aromanticism across different languages and cultures. Coyote wrote an 'Open Call for More Reference Materials'. The post calls for wider and more in-depth coverage of aro history. Take a look! Frawley wrote 'I hope the aro community stays silly', a piece about the close-knit nature, inventiveness, and whimsy of aro communities. I hope the aro community stays silly, too! Kiera sent in a piece about Little Women, aromantics of bygone eras, and hopes for a future we create together.

Thank you so much to everyone who submitted this month. Go check their pieces out!

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

Carnival of Aros October 2023: Humanity and the Non-Human

This is a call for submissions for the Carnival of Aros, a monthly aromantic/aro-spec themed blog carnival. You can find the roundup of last month’s submissions for the theme “Visions of Aro History” hosted by arotechno here.

Anyone can write a post to be featured in the carnival, just post a link to your article here in the comments or shoot me an email at aroarowhatsallthis@gmail.com. Submissions are due by 31st October, but if you think you might need a bit more time to get your submission done, just shoot me a message and I’ll keep that in mind. A roundup post will be posted sometime in early November.

It’s October, and for many people this means that it’s Halloween season. As such, thoughts of non-humans of all kinds will be on people’s minds for many different reasons. Whether they’re thinking up Halloween costumes, watching horror movies, or simply watching all the festivities taking place from a distance, many people will have monsters, aliens, animals, robots, and all manner of different non-human entities on their radars.

Needless to say, these things are on my mind too. In particular, I’d been thinking about how non-humanity gets framed in relation to ‘humanity’, what that means, and how these ideas of what’s considered human/inhuman affect people. I believe many people have interesting things to say about the topic, from multiple different perspectives. Which is why this month, I have chosen the theme of humanity and the non-human.

Here are some prompts:

Concepts such as ‘love’ have been held up by many as a marker of humanity. What are your thoughts on this? 

How has your aromanticism (or aplatonicism, lovelessness, etc) affected your relationship with humanity as a concept? 

In addition, understandings and expressions of love, marriage, and romance tend to be very culturally defined, but certain expressions of it might be treated as universally human. Have you ever been alienated and/or dehumanised by a dominant culture’s understanding of love/marriage/romance? Feel free to get as intersectional as you want when discussing this. 

Write about a connection you have had with something non-human, whether living (animals, plants, etc) or non-living (a hobby, a passion, etc) and how that relates to your identity as aro(-spec). 

It’s been a fairly well-documented phenomenon that many aromantics tend to feel some sort of connection to some sort of fictional non-human species, whether as specific examples, or as a whole. If you relate, what are your thoughts on these characters and concepts as an aro(-spec)? 

Do you have any experiences in any subcultures related to non-humanity, such as Voidpunk?

I’m excited to read everyone’s submissions!

[askanaroace]

This year, after realizing there was no Aro Day, a team of aromantic warriors decided to organize the first Aromantic Spectrum Visibility Day on August 25th!

In celebration of the first Aromantic Spectrum Visibility Day, the Carnival of Aros would like to hear about your experiences! To participate, write a blog post or create content related to the theme – any platform is acceptable as long as it is public and has a link. We have provided some prompts below, but you can write about anything you want surrounding aromantic visibility/ASVD. Then, submit the link in the comments below or through an email to carnivalofaros@gmail.com.

If you don’t have a way to host your submission, email it to carnivalofaros@gmail.com, and we’ll take care of it for you. Submissions are due August 31, 2023 end of day whatever your timezone. A round up post with all of the submissions we receive will be posted after that.

The Prompts:

Did you mark this day? How so?

What kind of expectations do you have for our new holiday?

What would you like to see done for future ASVD celebrations?

What does it mean to you to have an Aromantic Spectrum Visibility Day?

How do you think you might have been impacted if there was an Arospec Day when you were questioning or noticing you were different from your peers?

What ideas do you have to spread awareness and increase visibility of ASVD?

What gives you pride about being aromantic that you want others to know?

What’s something about aromanticism you would like to teach others in honor of Aromantic Spectrum Visibility Day?

We’re looking forward to seeing everyone’s thoughts! Hope everyone had a fantastic Aromantic Spectrum Visibility Day!

Further ASVD points of contact can be found across the web:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aromanticspectrumday/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/arospectrumday/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aromanticspectrumday/ Profile: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100084223555690

[askanaroace]

This is a cal for submissions for the Carnival of Aros, a monthly aromantic/aro-spec themed blog carnival. I will post the link to the last month roundup on the topic of The Aplatonic Spectrum, once I will see the link. Around the parts that I live, December the the holiday season. It is the time, when some of the other socialisation have to give space to a lots and lots of holiday teamed parties. Or in my case, have a relaxing month, since everybody is really busy with these parties. I don't celebrate in the way people around me do - which is why this is a relaxing month for me. And I think the reason for this is, that since I had to question many points, where I did not fit in the society, that made me question all the things like that as well. And now that makes me wonder. Aromanticism (with the whole aro-spec included) is something, that does include questioning at least some of the social norms. So that means, that it could be interesting to hear everybody's opinion of the celebrating the holidays. Don't even have to be the December's ones. Below I have written some of the prompts, but feel free to submit anything connected to the topic of holidays:

What do the holidays mean to you?

How has the your aromanticism (or lovelessness or aplatonic or anything in the era) influenced the way you see the holidays or celebrate them?

Do you celebrate the same holidays? In the same way? Or are there any changes in how you see the holidays and how you celebrate them, that you want to share?

Do you celebrate some different holidays or traditions, that you want to share with us?

Or share the reason of why are you not celebrating a specific holidaz? Or any holidays?

How does the holiday season affects you?

Is there something you want to point out in relation to the subject of the holidays? Some parts, that you think other people are missing - positive or negative?

Anybody can participate in the carnival. For this month, I am accepting the submissions in any modalities. So feel free to write a post, draw a picture, make a sculpture, edit a video or anything else you feel inspired to create in. You can also participate in any language you want. In order to participate, just send the link to my email at sarajaksa@sarajaksa.eu. I will also be checking the comments on the Carnival of Aros post for this month, so feel free to post there. I can also host it on my own site, if you do not have a place on the internet to post it. Submissions are due by the 31th of December. I will probably only write the roundup post on the 3th of January, so if it is a day or two late, I will just include it and nobody needs to know. I am excited to be able to see everybody's submissions.