#the only fences are for dogs

[carrickbender]

Twas the Saturday before Christmas(an update):

- My first foray into management, as a newly minted supply chain manager and (soon to be) highly indebted MBA student is a trip. Great people, but upper management did a poor planning job in rolling out SAP right before the start of one of the busiest parts of the production season, allowing for a crash course in its intricacies for its long term employees and the expectation that I will be a pro in 2-3 weeks.

Yeah.

Anyhow, so many cultures and opportunities for yours truly. I'm just a bit tired.

- Oh, and because I'm completely dumb, I'm also finishing up my last weekend shifts at Cosmo, starting tonight. Why? We need a new fence, that's why...

- Speaking of fences(for our ersatz dog), does Cabo or does he not look like Spike, Snoopy's slightly off brother who lives in the desert with coyotes(and to me has the appearance of the guy from Juarez, Mexico who used to repair our squid seines; He lived in a RV that smelled like painfully hot chilies, and who would be 3 sheets to the wind by noon on fridays with a net repair needle in one hand, a joint hanging out of his mouth, and singing Ranchero music like some 3rd rate baladeer...he was a treasure!). Btw, if you don't know Spike:

- I'm off to Oly for last minute gifts for H and Henry when I'd much rather be napping. But 3 days without SAP is the choice for me. I almost quilted into a teams call this morning, but you know what?

Happy festivus, to all who may celebrate. Tonight, H's son, daughter in law, and their kids are coming over for feasting, gifts, and probably light hearted airing of grievances- mostly about H's ex-husband. And today's feat of strength? Spatchcocking a turkey...

Anyhow, much love to you all... I need a nap.

[ohbo-ohno]

if the 1k game is still open, I’d like to throw in my two cents!

Ghost (or Ghoap) with Forest and Only (allotted amount of time) to escape before (bad thing happens)

I’m sure there’s plenty of ways to go with that!~ please take your time and remember to drink water today!!!!!

~🦋

1k game here - no more please!

i will drink water just for you babe. also i did ghoap x reader & forest & trying to escape, but ended up not including an allotted amount of time, hope that's alright!

1.5k of ghost watching soap and reader run from him during a zombie apolocypse. except the apolocypse is really more of a background thing and i just throw in mentions of zombies. no smut! (cw for a very brief mention of cannibalism, a sprained then broken ankle, kidnapping, and very light puppyplay at the end)

"You fucking idiot, Johnny," you hiss. "You're gonna get us killed!"

"Me?" He snarls, whirling around to glare at you, hackles raised. "You're fuckin' shoutin' like you want the bastard to find us!"

"Shhh! Could you be any louder?!"

"You goddamned feartie, I hope he kills you first!"

"What the fuck did you just call me?!"

Ghost just barely manages to bite back a laugh at your offended tone, the way you're nearly spitting at Johnny, even at nearly a foot shorter than him. It's like watching a kitten try and fight a dog - cute, but you know the dog could crush the kitten if things went a little too far.

But Simon doesn't mind watching you hiss and spit at Johnny, certainly doesn't see a need to step in any time soon.

He hadn't expected to find much more than a few corpses when the motion sensor around his property triggered an alarm in his base. He figured it was probably a few zombies, easy enough to deal with.

But then he spotted the two of you - a big Scotsman and his far smaller girl, bickering playfully and totally unaware of him in the shadows.

Originally he'd planned to kill the two of you. He's got enough food stored to make it through the winter, so he wouldn't have to bother with freezing your bodies for later. It would be almost comically easy to kill you, take a couple shots from far enough away that you'd never see them coming, drag your bodies off his property, and forget all about you.

But then Johnny - who's name he only knows because you use it frequently - had spotted him. And wasn't that interesting? It's been a long time since someone managed to spot Ghost while he was trailing them.

He'd noticed Johnny's injury soon after that. The two of you had taken off running - he's not sure why, but apparently you haven't had the best experience with strangers - and Johnny had limped beside you, his right ankle clearly giving him trouble.

That was near sunrise. Now, there's an hour or two before the sunsets.

Simon would like to have the two of you in his base before night falls. No point in risking losing one of you to a zombie, not when you're already vulnerable.

He's been herding the two of you in the right direction since about noon. The two of you had picked the right direction to run, almost making it fully out of Ghost's territory before he started redirecting you. It was easy to land a few shots in the dirt in front of you, send the pair of you scrambling in another direction.

You're closer to his base than either of you realize. Ghost's muscles twitch at the realization, the thought of having the two of you locked up fueling his adrenaline.

He already knows you'll both put up a good fight. He can't wait to see which one of you gives in first. He thinks it might be Johnny, can already picture the man being good after seeing how Ghost might treat you.

He tunes back into your argument as the land becomes more familiar, unable to resist smirking as he sees the path that Johnny's about to walk.

"I told you we should've been more on the lookout for other people."

"Don't even start! Ye know as well as me that the bastard came out of nowhere, don't act like we woulda seen him anyway."

"Well, now we'll never know."

"Exactly! So why're you still naggin' me about it?"

"Oh, really, I'm nagging? Really, Johnny?"

"Yes! What, you think saying it twice makes it less true?"

"Oh, fuck you, honestly, I don't even know why I bother helping you."

Johnny laughs, loud and very obviously fake. "You're helpin' me? Oh, now you've really lost it, lass. I've been dragging dead weight since this whole thing started! You know, I'm getting awful tired of-"

Johnny's just a few steps away, make that final little stretch as he talks, and Ghost holds his breath, waits....

Bam. Before he can finish his complaint, he's yanked into the air. His bad ankle is wrapped up tight in rope, a trap tugging that leg into the air and leaving his torso resting on the ground.

He grunts loudly, though not as loudly as Ghost had expected with his injury.

"Holy shit!" You nearly shout, rushing to Johnny's side and abandoning your argument. "Fuck, are you alright?"

The Scot makes a half-wheezed sound of affirmation, eyes squeezed shut.

"Fuck, alright, don't move. I'll get you out, alright?"

Before you can figure out how to make that happen, Simon steps out of the treeline. You catch sight of him immediately, eyes going wide as you clearly fight the urge to run and abandon your partner. You just barely manage to stop yourself, shifting into what looks like it's meant to be a defensive possession.

Ghost tilts his head, smirks behind the mask. "Where do you think you're goin'?"

Johnny's face is twisted in pain, leaving you to respond. "We don't mean any harm, alright? Just... just let me get him down, and we'll go."

Simon slings his rifle off his back, holds it casually in his arms. The way your hands twitch, the panic streaking across Johnny's expression... fuck, it gets him hard.

"Why would I let you do that?"

There's a little furrow between your brows, and Johnny starts to really squirm in is bindings.

"We won't tell anyone about you," you try, inching around Johnny's prone form. "Promise. You let us go, you'll never have to see us again."

That, Simon thinks, is the problem.

He hauls his gun up, takes quick aim, and shoots the rope tying Johnny up before either of you can properly panic. You both still scream when the branch falls, clattering to the ground on top of Johnny.

You're quick to help him up, your argument apparently entirely forgotten as you let him lean most of his body weight on your shoulders.

Ghost slings the gun back over his shoulder, pulling a length of rope out of his pocket. "Both of you, on your knees. Hands behind your heads, eyes closed."

"Oy." Johnny tries to move in front of you, but his now mangled ankle has to be kept completely off the ground for him to even stay standing. "You can't... we'll go, like she said. Promise, mate."

"Knees."

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed neither of you put up even a bit of fight. But he doesn't complain as he watches you fall to the ground first, letting Johnny use you to help himself.

"Good," Simon hums when you both settle, forms stiff but in the correct position. "Either one of you even twitches, I'll break your legs and leave you for the zombies."

You both shudder at that, and Ghost feels his cock throb in his jeans. He adjusts himself, then steps forward with the rope.

He's quick, not giving either of you time to properly react. You both get a matching loop of rough rope tied around your necks, just tight enough that the skin is already rubbed a bit raw, just from the initial tie.

"Don't move," Simon growls when Johnny jerks away, gripping the man's wrists and tugging them in front of him. "You want to die out here? Watch your little girlfriend get eaten alive?"

He flushes, teeth gritted in what's probably a mix of rage and pain. Sweat drips down his face, streaking through the filth. "She's not my girl."

"Johnny," you hiss, shifting restlessly on your knees. "Seriously?"

"What? Yer not."

"Is that really what you want to be focusing on right now?"

"Oh, would ye rather talk about the goddamn collar and leashes the bastard's given us?"

Ghost gives said leash a rough tug for that, finishing off the loops around Johnny's wrist and moving in front of you. "The bastard's right here."

You sit still, eyes still closed and limbs loose as you let him move your arms around. Johnny's the one who starts squirming, scowl deepening. "Really? Couldnae tell."

"Lotta sass from a man wearing a leash." Ghost yanks it again, nearly sending Johnny sprawling to the ground. He just manages to catch himself on his bound hands, and Simon finishes off yours.

He steps back, holding the length of rope stretching from your necks in one hand. He tugs solidly, smirks when you both stand as quickly as you can. "Up, now. Time to go home."

He doesn't spare either of you a glance, turning around and starting the rest of the journey home. He shows a bit of kindness, keep his pace slow since he can hear the way Johnny's breathing grows more ragged, hear his limp against the dead leaves.

Neither of you tug or try to run away, and Ghost can't help but smile at the obedience. He mentally crosses leash training off his to-do list. He had been looking forward to that one, but he's sure there'll be plenty of other interesting experiences with the two of you.

He's never trained two pets at once. He can't wait to see how it goes.

[tj-crochets]

I have new neighbors and today they were out in their yard (the youngest kid saw a cool bug) and their little dog was offleash so I got to meet neighbor dog! Neighbor dog is my new favorite

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

i love the versatility of the number two/second hand/second in command/etc character archetype and title

like. you're my number two. i trust you with everything. you will never be better than me. you hold more power in the shadows then i ever can in the spotlight. without me, you'd have nothing, be nothing. you're my second-hand and you're invaluable to me. you're my second-hand and you're inferior to me.

and the reverse- i'm your number two. i keep your every secret like my own. the minute you turn your back ill kill you in the way i know you fear most. i revel in your power and the protection i know you will always afford me. despite your position, you are nothing to me but dirt beneath my sole. you're my boss and you're everything to me. you're my boss and you're abhorrent to me.

ik ik it's been said before but guard dog versus attack dog and i go mad for both

[sage-nebula]

The heroic version of "Mother Knows Best" from Disney's Tangled is me singing it to my dog to reassure her during scary storms ("mother's right here, mother will protect you"), to convince her to not run off down the street with reckless abandon because she saw a small animal and slipped out of her collar ("mother knows best, listen to your mother, it's a scary world out there [. . .] skip the drama, stay with mama"), and to convince her to not eat random scraps of garbage at every opportunity.

. . . that last one requires more creativity, admittedly.

"Mother knows best / take it from your mumsy / eating that will make you sick. / Stomach pain and puke / an inflammed pancreas - yes / it'll mess you up quick! / Bits of plastic, tape / tons of toxic acorns / and some odd slimy . . . bone? / None of these are food / you're weird to wanna eat them / I'm just sayin' 'cause I wuv you . . ."

[arlo-venn]

Someone found Arlo’s new bed ☁️

[magnecalliope]

Have a guest over tonight and my cat brought us not one but TWO dead mice. She's such a good little hostess.

[bunnihearted]

maybe if we lived in a society that valued individual needs and nurtured and cared for ppl who are different i wouldnt "wish" death upon ppl ._.

[queenpinkyyy]

took the pups out one last time before bed and there was a BUNNY in my back yard!!!

[rosaacicularis]

which was more culturally significant, the renaissance or hermitgang

[flippedorbit]

i wish i had my license and a car so i could leave. i hate being here all the fucking time.

[rxttenfish]

how do you get rid of skunk smells on objects that have not been directly sprayed nor touched by anything with the skunk-juice on it. my dog got sprayed and unfortunately the smell has permeated throughout the house and sunk into my clothes and objects and im frantically trying to get rid of it as much as possible. i swear nothing that i do is enough. please.

[rimouskis]

okay not to continue being a narc but some woman and her boyfriend moved into my apartment complex with two incredibly yappy little dogs that FREAK OUT every time they enter the hallway (and god forbid you're in the hallway with them). I'm perturbed because 1. this woman has zero command over either dog and 2. I'm 100% positive our leases say dogs aren't allowed, and it's partially why I don't have a dog

[blunderpuff]

oh so now the birds are eating the <25 cherries i've got growing on my tiny tree

literally everything i've planted in this fucking garden has either died on its own or has been killed by birds/bugs

[munch-mumbles]

feelinng like a skittish stray starving animal sniffing at the edge of dating apps before getting scared and running away back into my hole

[fruitless-vain]

My immediate next door neighbours are moving 😭

They mostly kept to themselves, were really good about not burying my hydro meter during winter, generally good people who bothered nobody

Let us pray another irresponsible pet owner + nightmare dog combo doesn’t move in 😭