#but does she care? no. she shovels toxic acorns into her muzzle at lightspeed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sage-nebula · 7 months ago

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The heroic version of "Mother Knows Best" from Disney's Tangled is me singing it to my dog to reassure her during scary storms ("mother's right here, mother will protect you"), to convince her to not run off down the street with reckless abandon because she saw a small animal and slipped out of her collar ("mother knows best, listen to your mother, it's a scary world out there [. . .] skip the drama, stay with mama"), and to convince her to not eat random scraps of garbage at every opportunity.

. . . that last one requires more creativity, admittedly.

"Mother knows best / take it from your mumsy / eating that will make you sick. / Stomach pain and puke / an inflammed pancreas - yes / it'll mess you up quick! / Bits of plastic, tape / tons of toxic acorns / and some odd slimy . . . bone? / None of these are food / you're weird to wanna eat them / I'm just sayin' 'cause I wuv you . . ."

#she has only slipped off after a rabbit abt 3 times in her 9 years #but that is too many times for my stress levels #also she really does love eating acorns #even tho they are toxic to dogs and give her THE STINKIEST farts known to mankind #and she has a chronic condition where her body can't process fats so she's on prescription kibble #bc normal kibble gives her pancreatitis and so do normal treats etc #but does she care? no. she shovels toxic acorns into her muzzle at lightspeed #also the slimy bone thing is a true story #i have a fenced yard yet she came in one day with it #bit the shit out of me as i wrestled it away from her #i have no idea what it was but it was nasty af and she wanted it soooo bad #god. she's a menace. i love her so much tho

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