#the ongoing struggle to get our boy a cat

[yujateaandpi]

Hi guys! Yujatea here! If you enjoy my work, I’d like to please ask for a moment of your time to consider helping this family I’m supporting! Shaima is a mother of four children, Abdul Rahim, Walid, Majdi, and baby Amal. Shaima is struggling to support her children since her husband disappeared, and needs urgent help with providing food and resources for them, especially as winter sweeps through Gaza! This family’s fundraising campaign (@familgazaamal1) is completely vetted and I’m trying to use my platforms to raise awareness on their behalf. I’ll be opening my commissions to raise funds for their campaign so keep your eyes peeled! I’ll also post their fundraiser link in my highlights as well! Thanks guys! Let’s do our part to reclaim kindness and uplift each other!

Here's a message from the family:

In Gaza, where conflict looms over daily life, children’s dreams remain a ray of hope. Abdul Rahim, a young boy, dreams of becoming a famous artist, using his drawings to tell the world about the beauty of his homeland. Walid, on the other hand, dreams of playing football in a big stadium, representing his country despite the obstacles around him. Majdi, a cat lover, dreams of becoming a kind person and helping children. Majdi, who dreams of opening an animal shelter to care for animals in Gaza. Even in the midst of war, these children cling to their dreams, believing that one day, despite the difficulties, they will achieve their goals. Their dreams are not only about personal success, but also about shedding light on a world filled with darkness. These dreams symbolize the resilience of Gaza’s children, showing that hope and determination can survive even the most difficult circumstances.

In the heart of the ongoing war, Shaima lives with her four children, constantly struggling with pain and waiting. Her husband, who was once the source of security and happiness, left a long time ago, facing the challenges of war far from them. Every day, Shaima makes earnest efforts to keep life going despite the hardships. She strives to provide food and shelter while trying to instill hope in the hearts of her children, who are still waiting for their father’s return, a father they know little about other than his absence. Her four children, despite their young age, carry great hopes in their hearts. The eldest, who everyone sees as the "little father," dreams of their father returning to embrace them as he did in the past. The youngest, on the other hand, wakes up at night searching for his father's voice, wishing for his return to feel safe again. Shaima's dream is every mother’s dream in this war: for her husband to return safely so they can live together again in peace and security. She dreams of the days when her husband filled their home with joy, and she prays for the end of the war so their family can reunite once more. Yet, amid the destruction and tears, hope remains their strength. Shaima knows that her patience and resilience are what keep the family going. Despite the difficult days, she continues to resist, dreaming of the moment when her family will be whole again, with her husband and the father of her children back home.

[the-guppy-fish]

HC - Simon "Ghost" Riley

Types of relationships - Friends

...I have some thoughts...about our boy Simon...there are not many...but more will come...

(definitely have to make a part two🤭)

No warnings, yet. (Slightly proofread)

Simons eyes are always on you. No matter where in the room you are, his eyes always find their way to you. Both consciously and unconsciously. He just likes knowing where you are.

He has made it a habit to rest his hand on your shoulder whenever he stands behind you. (He just likes touching you..and not in a weird way)

Purposefully steals you hairties and hides them in his pockets. Whenever you leave something (jackets, shoes, ...your phone) within his reach, he loves to just hide it from you. Nothing vile. He just loves to see the confusion on your face when you mutter:"Where the f..Simon! Give back my xx"

Somehow, he knows when you get hungry. If you're ever out together, whether that be on an OP or just out with friends, it doesn't matter. Right before your mood turns snappy and you can't concentrate, he hands you some sort of snack.

He has the lamest, most dry fucking jokes ever. But you find them hilarious. Each and every single one of them. Because he has become a master at delivering those jokes.

- while walking in a desert somewhere on an op.

- Simon picks something up off the ground.

"Here, take this."

- he hands you something small. Dropping it into your gloved hand.

"What is it, Lieutenant?"

- while walking away he answers lowly.

"It's for rock music."

- you look down at a thumbnail-sized, triangular and flat rock.

🙄

"Eat." Was all he would tell you.

Tries to shepherd you if you're in crowded places. But you got a will of your own and a gene for getting distracted, so it's quite the struggle for him sometimes. He'd place a gentle hand between your shoulderblades, guiding you to wherever you need to go.

"Stay close, love."

He texts you out of the blue. And it's usually something weird. Something he's spent a good amount of time pondering over....or no time at all. Sometimes, it's something silly, and others he's thought about something deep and very emotional.

'Do you think I should get a pet for when i retire?'

'How about a dog?'

'No'

'Maybe a turtle'

'I want a turtle'

'Would you help me pick one?'

'Do you ever think about what would happen if I didn't come home from an op?'

'Shit. Sorry'

'I did it again :'( '

'Sorry love'

'You busy?'

'Oi'

'Answer me'

'Please'

'I just need your opinion on something'

Si👻 sent a picture

'Don't laugh. Just tell me if you like the sweater or not'

Simon is definitely someone who texts sporadically.

And speaking of texting. He loves to send you random pictures of animals he finds. No explanation. He just wants you to see the cute cat/dog/squirrel he encountered on a walk around town.

Simon is the kind of friend who you just click with. You don't have to talk much. You just get one another. But still. You yap his ears off every time you spend time together. And he just listens. Oh, Simon loves to hear you yap. He knows it brings some quietness to your, sometimes, racing brain. And he knows. The day he needs to talk, you'll be all ears.

Whenever he leaves for an op (without you), you use your chat, more or less, like a diary. You know he has no access to any kind of network what so ever, while he's away. So, all the messages you send... will only be read once he comes back to base. And even though it's not much, and usually only silly and funny things you send him, he loves every bit of it.

(Even when you use your chat to keep grocery lists in)

When things get rough. Because they will. Life sucks sometimes. You're there for one another. You have an ongoing list of times where you helped each other out because no one else could. (And you wanted no one else to help you)

The time you had the nastiest cold. Like snot everywhere. Coughing your lungs up. Fever. Headaches. Everything. He took some days off from work to help you feel better. He stocked your fridge with vegetable soup and made you like a hundred cuppas until you finally felt like yourself again. All while laughing at you whenever you sneezed without a tissue because you just couldn't keep the snot in.

The time Simons apartment flooded because his upstairs neighbour had busted a pipe, and water began running down Simons walls. In no time, you had helped him collect the few possessions he had at home and brought them to your place. For a few weeks, he occupied your couch while his apartment got fixed.

One time, your bank card had been stolen, and all your accounts were frozen until the card had been deactivated. With no real money to your name at that moment, Simon had lent you at least a month's worth of rent, utilities, and groceries until your bank had settled everything.

Simon once went out to drink with the task force. He had somehow convinced them that he was sober enough to walk home by himself. (He was not.) On the way home, he had managed to trip over his large feet and stumble down the pavement and almost face plant on the empty road. In his drunken state, he had managed to call you and ask for help. Even though it was late, you had gone out for him. Helped him home and into his bathroom. You had helped him clean the scrapes and cuts on his hands, knees, and chin. Brushed his teeth and made him drink some water before you sent him to bed. The next morning, you woke on his couch, the sound of Simons hangover reaching you from the bathroom. He sounded like he was dying. But at least he was up.

When you were working together, your friendship looked a little different. Your work relationship made it hard for him to express his care for you in the way we'd like. So he found other ways. Both of you had to dial down the banter and long yap sessions. So Ghost found discrete ways to be there for you. He made sure your canteen was always filled with water. When he was assigning guard shifts, he would usually put you two on the same shift to ensure you had at least some hours in each others company. Sometimes, he even saved the tiny piece of chocolate from the field rations you ate so he could give it to you whenever you had a shitty day.

When you're on leave, he loves to ask you to go hiking with him. Simon loves to spend time in nature, and he loves to spend time with you. So why not combine it? You spent hours together, both talking about almost everything between heaven and earth, but also in silence, just enjoying the comfort of being around one another.

Also, Simon loves to tease you. Not to be cruel or try to embarrass you. No. He just loves to see you squirm a little. (But he also loves it when you set your foot down. That fire behind your eyes when you tell him to "fucking quit it." He feels proud to see you stand up for yourself. Even if he was the cause of your irritation.)

[missg00dk4t]

Pride month is already over...(2/2)

PART ONE - HERE

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Rachel Summers aka Phoenix aka Mother Askani aka Prestige aka too many d*mn aliases (I stuck to those I remember from the top of my head)

Needs: I struggle to think up something she needs... More gay? Always can use more gay.

Qualifications: Bi inter dimensional celestial avatar mutie Queen 💅

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Remy Lebeau aka Gambit aka Zaddy "I MURDER in a crop-top" Lebeau (guess which one I made up 🤣)

Needs: Mon ami! Gambit needs ONE thing, and she's called Anna Marie, chère. Aside from that, Gambit don't need NOTHING.

Qualifications: Bi sex icon mutie zaddy (seriously, he's GREAT with kids, like, breed me already, sir. Oh that's right, you're fictional, like my womb😮‍💨)

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Elisabeth Braddock aka Betsy aka Psylocke aka Captain Britain

Needs: Nothing. I'm in love with her new status in the Marvel Universe. Keep it going Marvel. No notes.

Qualifications: Bi ex-ninja inter dimensional protector

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Irene Adler aka Destiny aka Kurt's second biological moooom suck it Azazel 😁

Needs: The Krakoa era already took care of her needs. It would have been cool if a woman was allowed to seem old, but hey 🤷🏽‍♀️

Qualifications: Lesbian mutie freedom fighter

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Harleen Quinzel aka Harley Quinn aka Yes, as you can see I'm aware of DC characters as well

Needs: For birds of prey the movie to be accepted as the classic it is, I will die on that hill. Don't even get me started.

Qualifications: Bi (although I'd debate she's a previously closeted lesbian)

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Cooper Cohen aka Web Weaver

Needs: A f*cking ongoing. Like yesterday. The fact it hasn't been done yet should be considered a criminal offense.

Qualifications: Super flamboyant and stylish gay dude

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Charlotte Webber aka Sun-Spider

Needs: Also a ongoing. Can't believe SPIDER-BOY got one before her. Like, wtf.

Qualifications: Badass disabled lesbian

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Felicia Hardy aka Black Cat

Needs: Tough question... More gay? Never too much gay. Seriously though, she already kinda DOPE.

Qualifications: Bi cat burglar. Be gay, do crimes 💅

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Karolina Dean aka Lucy in the Sky aka LSD (Yes, really)

Needs: For the Runaways comics to go on forever. Like, really. Not a joke.

Qualifications: Bi alien princess. Also she's a litteral rainbow alien 🏳️‍🌈

🏳️‍🌈

Bonus round:

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Gwen Stacy aka Ghost Spider aka Spider-Gwen

Needs: For the spidercels to let our gurl go, she's OURS now. Also Sony, admit she's trans already, you COWARDS.

Qualifications: Trans gurl. Bite me Spidercels 🖕

PRIDE MONTH MAY BE OVER, BUT WE ARE ETERNAL, HAPPY FOREVER PRIDE Y'ALL !!!!

🏳️‍🌈

[metanoianmayhem]

My dad is whittling down to nothing. For those of you unaware (like most of us remember who is who on our mutuals. This anciente hellscape) (yes, the extra e is pronounced) dad has early onset alzheimers and vascular dementia.

He's had one big stroke and near as the imaging shows, is continuing to have minihemmorhages.

My dad was a man of science. He grew tall in his field - helped develop new techniques and a new field. Founded a convention that is ongoing.

He spoke Chinese because he fell in love with Chinese poetry as a teen hiding in the library in Texas.

Wooed my mother by quoting Tom Bombadil about Goldberry. (goddamn you, autocorrect, let me type).

He used to go on all fours and have us (sometimes two at a time!) as little kids ride up him on the stairs. Dad, my dad, would grab the railings and shake them making elephant noises. At the top of them, he'd use one arm as a trunk.

That was how he took us to bed. Taught me how to make scones and cookies. To get up when I scrape my knee. How to kick a soccer ball. Check another player with my shoulder.

We painstakingly kicked and screamed our ways thru every math class I ever had - and he still sat down to help. We both hated it, but we knew I needed the help.

Telling my first boyfriend that what I decided about my body went after he spent the night.

Came and held me and cried with me everytime a cat died or a family member.

We weren't- and still aren't- allowed to sit next to each other at dinner because we stir up trouble.

Perpetually pulled pranks. Woke us up one cranky morning on our drive to school - by shrieking "Aliens!" and lifting them off the wheel. We both came to mighty fast at that point.

There's so many more things I could talk about on and on and on like this.

He is not that anymore. Every day he becomes a little less - like a stone worn away by the stream it's in.

He loves me still. Even when he's struggling to track, he remembers my name and calls me his boy as well as his girl.

And I get to wonder how long until we lose that.

Until he doesn't know who we are.

I wish I had something wise to say, or kind to say. But mostly I am hurting very badly and weeping because God, I miss my dad.

[fish-arent-real]

Gofund me Mushroom the cat🍄

Hi! So me and my partner recently rescued a cat who we named Mushroom! He was found on the street with his arm stuck in his collar, and has a bad wound under his armpit because of it. Due to the placement, it hasn't been healing and he needs surgery for it.

Money is rough right now, we're both neurodivergent, disabled, and struggling to work to afford living in the first place. My partner has a physical disability and medical bills are already stacking up from that. Adding on a $1000+ surgery bill to everything else would be extremly difficult right now. Any help you can give, even just sharing, is really appreciated. Mushroom is our little boy and we want him to get better so he can finally get to just *be a cat* and not have to constantly deal with this injury. It's been an ongoing struggle for a while now getting him healed

[rainbowspinch]

Things my partner and I have said about CTC characters, an ongoing draft

“Bill Danton is baby girl”

“Norman would love Disney Princesses”

“Jacob probably does many forms of art that most wouldn’t associate with him. Like he could design a house really well but people would go ‘that’s not a Jacob thing’”

“Jacob does sculpting. His housewarming gift to Norman when he moved next door was a middle finger statue.”

“When Norman went into his new house for the first time, he found all the statues Jacob had been storing in there of himself.”

“Tom’s got a touch of the ‘tism. Another one for the pit.”

“They’ve all got autism. In our world, autism is the default and you have to prove you’re allistic.”

“I like that he is a little fucked up.” (About the Ink Demon)

“Jane has slight shaken baby(adult?) syndrome. Bill shakes her with passion”

“It’s the discord kitten in him.” (About Bill Danton)

“I LOVE HOW MAN HE IS” (about someone else’s interpretation of Sammy)

“Certified boy holder” (about someone else’s interpretation of Sammy)

“The babies. He is So Ugly<3” (about the Tom plush)

“Allison would be a crystal girl in modern days. Susie would be one of the ones with a super complex skin-care routine”

“Do you think big Bendy accepts Sammy’s weird behaviour because he gives good tummy scratches”

“Susie would hate mullets. A lot of them would. Not Jacob.”

“Norman would fucking love the song Piano Man. He would sing that shit with heart.”

“Do you think Abby helped Richie through dealing with Dave’s death?”

“Sammy+Susie: the mean girls

Jack: the cat kid”

“Norman finally exercising his ice cream rights” (about a video of a man on a game show eating an entire pint of ice cream and then feeling sick afterwards)

“High school mean girls Susie and Sammy definitely practiced kissing together”

“Me: where would Jacob be from?

Rat: Ohio probably. Look at him”

“Me: Sammy. Is he British?

Rat: yes. He tries not to be”

“I literally spent $50 on this shirt because I looked at it and went “OOooOu Norman!””

“No arguments, Nice is a people pleaser. She wants to be Alice’s best pal ever, even if that means she has to commit to atrocious crimes” (about Malice Angel’s two different voices)

“Norman goes to a thrift shop and goes “ooooo for me”. Jacob goes to a thirft shop and goes “ooooo for Norman”. Strange gay things for a strange gay man”

“Got shoved in a locker for being a nerd” (about Grant)

“I can’t explain how, but the way you’re typing is Tom like” (about me calling crabs Big Boys, Tiny Boys, and then struggling to spell anemone, followed by “how the fuck do I spell this shit”)

“He loves almonds. Nut boy. Nut boy.” (About Norman)

“Kismesis. Mmm. Regret regret regret regret” (me regretting referring to something Homestuck related while talking about Prophet Sammy and Malice)

“Do u think Tom Boris cleans people. Like lick lick.”

“What’s more powerful then being nothing AND A WOMAN AT THE SAME TIME” (conceptualising nonbinary transfem Bertie)

“He looks like a Mangle” (about Bendy-Bot)

“Old Men that make Unexpectedly Nice Poetry” (about Henry and Norman)

“Bertie: You want meeee to come put of retirement to work on your silly little project? Do I get anything out if it?

Joey: I can give you a kiss-?

Bertie: *unimpressed*

Joey: I could get on my hands and knees and start crying

Bertie: that’d be a start” (Rat’s genius)

“His boyfriends wedding, he deserves that cake” (about Wally eating Tom and Allison’s wedding cake)

“Tom wouldn’t say blimey. ..I lie. I’m sorry.”

“Sammy Lawrence is Michael Bublé”

“Pfft- love his handbag” (about a picture of Sammy holding a light from BATDS)

“Richie has discord server mod vibes”

“Rosalia is not a discord kitten. She’s the actual mod, Richie just talks too much”

“Norman is a discord kitty for many many people to turn a profit”

“And Bill and Jane look like they eat humans and get away with it. But In a Endearing tumblr sexy man Sammy way”

“What the fuck is her” (about Slicer)

“Jack is catish”

“You know he’s ready to grab things and “what if you went in my mouth”” (about Ink Demon)

“Grant is autism.

He verbally stims (tick tick tick)

He enjoys math

Canonically He can’t understand when people don’t do things for money which I assume our Grant doesn’t get it either

Bad social skills

Resting bitch face

I say so???? So??? You can’t say I’m wrong???”

“I bet he’s never heard of a social cue in his life” (about Grant)

“Grant’s ‘Strange Money’ tape. He sounds like a self conscious southern 20-something year old that really doesn’t want to be southern. He sounds divorced. He sounds like his ex-wife is a lesbian.”

““Simmons I left something in the Hell Dimension can you get it for me” that’s on brand” (about Joey)

“Henry come on, respect your parents” (about Henry telling Abby to ‘get a better name’)

“Do you think their whole group has a thing for photos, Joey’s photo book, Carol hangs some up and Simmons just has them stuffed into random places, cup holder, under the seats, in his pillow, with the spoons”

“The moment you’re in Simmons’ house you’re walking on eggshells. There could be a jumpscare anywhere”

“Joey - a list of ways he handles the studio, to emphasise that he’s trying his best

Carol - a list of ways she handles being a secretary and a front desk lady, to emphasise that she’s good at her job

Simmons - what the fuck? What is he even doing here?”

“He/him (in the gay way)” (about Simmons)

“She’s actually 12 sea mines in a turtleneck sweater” (about Susie)

“Bald Sammy Lawrence and Skin Eyes Jacob”

“Fuck you [romantic]” (about Joey’s letter to Henry)

“Sammy keeping inky handprints from PJ on his overalls” (based on a picture of a cat leaving wet paw prints on a boot and calling it a little accessory)

“Enemies to lovers [obliviously]” (about Sammy and Susie)

“Do you think even as teenage mean girls beefing it out, Sammy and Susie were still crushing on each other”

“No idea who Eugene is but fuck Chef Buck”

“He is Brazilian I’ve decided, and Sally will be Greek” (about Andre and Sally Newt, when I was designing them)

“Rat: why does 30 years make my eyes green?

Me: Tism does that

Rat: Norman, Norman, Norman, Norman, Norman, Norman-“

“Bill is what happens when you forget about a middle child”

Edit: “Jacob and Norman definitely do drugs. Anything they can grow, they will take.”

“[scary[hot]]” (about Malice)

[mementofloreo-archived]

An Update/Happy New Years Letter from Toby!!

hi folks, here's a catchup post from yours truly! it's a bit long so i've put it under a readmore, but there's nothing too serious under there, it really is just a life update of the same sort I try to write every new year!

sorry for not being around lately! i've been having a pretty bad chronic pain flareup and have been kinda sick.

a while back my cat- who is a nasty little escape artist and very naughty boy!!- managed to get outside the house. it was on an evening when it would later get into the single digits.

milo's very important to me, and we live right next to a highway now, so every time he does this it's stressful. when he wasn't back home by around ten pm(despite each of us periodically going to check and call for him) I got pretty desperate. it was so cold out, and i felt distraught just thinking about him possibly getting sick or hurt or worse out there somewhere when it was 12 degrees and getting colder.

In the end I was wandering around calling for him out there for about half an hour, and then spent half an hour sitting on the patio with my phone and calling for him periodically. I knew spending so much time in the cold would make me really sick bc I've always been frail and highly sensitive to the cold dry of winter, so i have myself to blame for that.

i had to leave a blanket out for milo in the end bc it was getting hard to breathe; he did finally come home a little later and i found him on his blankie close to midnight. he was calm and not shivering or seeming sick, so he must have found somewhere pretty safe to hang out before coming and staying warm on the porch. he was VERY hungry and thirsty when he came inside but he's remained healthy since and in good spirits, so I'm fine with being sick. he's my baby and I would rather get a cold working to get him home than have him not come home at all, or let him get hurt or sick.

storytime aside, it's just a time of year when I tend to struggle a lot more with my emotional and mental health. my family has suffered through a lot of tragedies that took place around this time and it's also the worst time for my seasonal affective disorder. so on top of my physical health being worst in winter, so is all my other health. ongoing shortages of several different medications(mostly for adhd and similar symptoms) in my area mean that I am also without my adderall or concerta and haven't had reliable access since about november. I don't function at nearly even ten percent without them, so that has also been a big factor.

to my new mutuals, I'm sorry I haven't been around! I hope we can finally start chatting and plotting soon, because I truly do want to get to know you and see what clicks for us as writers.

and to my friends and other mutuals, thank you as always for your patience with my spotty activity and for still being sociable with and happy to hear from me even when I'm not feeling able to write. you're more precious to me(every one of you!!) than I can adequately express.

since the start of 2020, my life and my family's lives have all been very difficult, fraught with hardships of all different sorts and a lot of chaotic and unpredictable change. the divorce and eventual remarriage of one of my brothers; my mom and i moving out to live with her sister in the first months of 2020 in a last ditch effort to drive my dad to finally really address his drinking problem(he is now over a year sober!!!)

and then of course my mom getting sick that may,

and then never getting better.

and then we found out that she never would. she has chronic fatigue syndrome now, and issues with low blood pressure and breathing. the family home we'd lived in since I was just a little kid was old old old and we found out eventually that she had new mold allergies. as our savings dried up and we finally managed to sell and move out at the end of 2021, I knew '22 would be harrowing.

and it was. it was awful. from the end of january to the end of august I lived in the spare room at my brother's home, unsure what would happen from one day to the next, how long i would be there.

since early september my parents and i have been slowly settling into a double wide mobile home we were(by the grace of luck and higher powers) able to purchase rather than simply rent, when we had thought initially it would be difficult to even find an apartment that would meet mom's needs and be withing our range.

but we finally have some stability and peace of mind in our lives again. and I hope that will bode well for the rest of this year.

I don't know how soon I'll be consistently active here on the dashboard again, but I do want to try, even if it ends up a slow process. happy new year to all of you, and i dearly hope you will see more of me as it goes on.

-Toby

[bts-ficrecs]

Hi! Can you recommend a few Jungkook marriage fics please! Open to all genres. Thanks! ❤️

(header cr: guwoljk)

y’know this ask made me realize how rare married fics -- that aren’t drabbles -- are lol. outside of arranged marriage aus 😂

but no worries. i did find a good amount for you anon! thanks for this lovely request :”)

If anyone has any other husband!Jk fics that I didn’t include on this list, let me know!! (cause I need it too😂)

Sorry if this clogs your feed. idk why whenever I answer an ask, my “read more” is always stuck in the actual ask where i cannot edit it out at all

KEY: (☆) = arranged marriage / ( F ) = fluff / ( A ) = angst / ( S ) = smut

 

 

The Brat by obiwrites (F)

 » Summary: It was now you and him against the world. There was just one thing…

 

Bunny Bigot by obiwrites (F)

 » Summary: “Hey babe,” you call, startling the boy hunched down in a corner, “is there a reason you’re hiding in our closet?”

 » Sequel: Baby Bun & The Little Gardener

 

Child's Play by obiwrites (F)

 » Summary: Jungkook's always had a ... unique approach to parenting

 

Concealed Weapon by @gimmesumsuga (M)

 » Summary: Jungkook turns out not to be quite who you thought he was, and your reaction takes you both by surprise.

 

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by obiwrites (F)

 » Summary: The plot of cloudy with a chance... but with Jungkook

 » Sequel: Part 2

 

Desiderium by @jeonggukingdom (M)

 » Summary: “We’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still so horny?”

 

Home is Where You Are by @sweetbunnykook  (F A)

 » Summary: Madness and love grows from the same root in the Jeon family.

 

I Can’t Help Myself, I Don’t Want Anyone Else by obiwrites (F)

 » Summary: A follow up piece to Just The Girl. A glimpse at the wedding, life after marriage and then some!

 » More spinoffs: Life is Good (pregnant!OC) & The Kids Are Alright (1st day of school)

 

It’s Enough by @dark-muse-iris (A)

 » Summary: Preparing dinner reminds you of all the struggles you’ve experienced in your marriage. Your husband Jungkook, ever your anchor, tries to cheer you up with gentle words.

 

Late Night Cravings by erifish14 (F)

 » Summary: Imagine having a child with Jungkook

 

Meet the Jeon-Son’s by obiwrites (F A)

 » Summary: The little girl studies your face for a long time, like she’s trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle that haven’t for a long time.

 

Stress Relief by @hobidreams (S)

 » Summary: “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “Kissing my wife?”

 

Sweater Weather by @bangtanstanst (F)

 » Summary: When Jungkook comes back from a run and you have the audacity to laugh at his admittedly bad decision to go outside in the rain, he makes sure to take his revenge.

 

The Next by @kpopfanfictrash (F)

 » Summary: No matter the fact that this is your fourth child, nor that every other pregnancy was fine – sitting in this seat, awaiting the news is always incredibly nerve-wracking. This is the moment you determine if your baby is healthy, or not.

 

Things You Said At 1 AM by @foreverpark (F M)

 » Summary: More often than not, you spend around one to two hours in bed, watching the clock tick with the dialogue of a feel-good movie or drama keeping you company, waiting for your husband to come back from his never-ending dance practices.

 

 

After All Night by @btsracket​ (M)

» Summary: “Your mom has the baby so let’s make good use of the time.”

 

All in My Head by @fatrainbowmermaidunicorn (☆ F A)

 » Summary: Jeon Jungkook’s wife. Something you have always wanted to be. Something you have always dream of. But it's something you know won't ever come true. Until today.

 

Always and Forever by @joonglows (F)

 » Summary: From childhood friends to boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s time for an upgrade. Now, you are living a happily ever after with your dear husband, Jungkook, with three loving kids and one on it’s way.

 

Black Card by @minsprings (F A S)

 » Summary: A long night at another one of your obligatory high society functions has you desperate to relieve some stress with your husband Jungkook, who’s been apparently hiding a kink from you for some time.

 » Status: complete two-shot

 

Desperate Housewife by @kimnjss (M)

 » Summary: Bored with your husband gone all the time, you decide to take up a new hobby… Jungkook can only seem to focus on one thing when it comes to your new pastime.

 

Fierce and Delicate by @mintseesaw (F A)

 » Summary: Jungkook and y/n had been brought in two different worlds. Jungkook living an unfortunate life and y/n being controlled by her parents all her life. Despite the imperfect relationship, they completed each other like a puzzle there is. Jungkook has one promise he intends to keep: to always make you happy. In the process of fulfilling your wish he had once declined you of, he kept a secret from you. And unintentionally, he has done more damages than expected…Every action, and every decision… could be blamed by the flawed past.

 » Sequel: Felicity (F A S)

 

From What Stars Have We Fallen to Meet Each Other Here by muhammie (☆ F A)

 » Summary: Yoongi and Jungkook learn how to love in a marriage they never wanted to be in.

 » Note: yes, this is mxm

 

Holiday Blunder by obiwrites (F A)

 » Summary: The one where it’s the worst Thanksgiving in the world but your husband makes it mildly better.

 

Lumière by @taehyung-me-down (series) (☆ F A S)

 » Status: ongoing series

 » Summary: Fate has a way of bringing together two souls meant to be, but to a princess like you, soulmates are out of the question. As the sole heir of the throne, it is your duty to create a strong allegiance, one that will protect your reign. Your marriage with a prince from a neighboring kingdom was sealed from the moment you entered this world, two destinies intertwining. All you yearn for is a love that will ignite your soul. One that will have your head spinning in the clouds and your heart drowning in desire. Soulmates will meet, regardless of time, location, or circumstances, but it’s up to you. There’s one thing you must do. Seek the light, and find the love of a lifetime.

 

Mafia Arranged Marriage by @leahsockhead01 (☆ F A)

 » Summary: You knew your parents had secrets but, you never realized they went as deep as the mafia. Your father was apparently a secret Consigliere. A “close friend” to the leader of Seoul’s mafia crime group. In order to officially blend your family into the mafia, you had been elected to marry the leader’s son. Upon meeting your betrothed, you run. Then something happens… to bring you back.

 

Money, Power, Respect by @minnpd (A S)

 » Summary: You catch his eye the moment you walk through the door, low-cut dress doing its job like you knew it would.

 

Of Caresses And Promises by @ditttiii (F A S)

 » Summary: You love your husband and you know that he loves you just as much, if not more. But sometimes, you can’t help but feel like he could do better—better than you.

 

Put Your Head on My Shoulder by koorara (F A S)

 » Summary: You were worried to bring Jungkook along to your hometown and grandma has never met Jungkook, and yes, she is lovely but what if she suddenly doesn’t approve of him? That would break his heart.

 

Second Chances by @parkhabits (F A S)

 » Summary: Work. One of the most important things to him. It kept him company at night, it was all he thought about, all he put his attention to. His work had become the mistress within your marriage. Years after you left him you’re back with only one goal in mind. Get him to sign the damn divorce papers. Yet you should’ve known that your husband wouldn’t let you go that easily.

 

Smitten by @megahwn (☆ F S)

 » Summary: You live in a world where loving another is criminal. Partners are chosen by your elders to produce the best offspring and to help the economy thrive. Living in this world, you feel broken. You feel broken because you have accidentally fallen for your new husband, Jeon Jungkook.

 

Taking Chances by @neonlights92 (☆ F A S)

 » Status: complete series

 » Summary: “Jeon Jungkook is an asshole.”

 

The Pitter-Patter of the Heart by koorara (F)

 » Status: ongoing series

 » Summary: Pieces of newlywed domestic moments with Jungkook, your husband. The young Film and Literature lecturer and his wife, you, who works as a journalist of a web magazine. Both of you managing the career, the time for each other and the new house. Not to forget the cat that has been with you for years.

 » Drabble: Valentine (S)

 

The Husband She Didn't Want by MyTime2Shine (☆ A S)

 » Status: ongoing series

 » Summary: Kim Mi Cha life was a miserable one since her mother had died at a young age. By 22 she was taking care of her alcoholic father who was often abusive to her. Her only respite would be when he'd leave her to go gamble as his addiction was getting out of control. She dreamed and believed in true love despite her upbringing. Her spoiled brat of a neighbor across the way from her was Jeon Jungkook. // Jeon Jungkook's life was happy and privileged one. He lived the life of a rich and only child to both of his parents who gave him whatever he wanted. Age at 23 Jungkook had become CEO Jeon Jungkook when his parents were killed in a car accident. He thought love was for the weak. His neighbor across the way from him was the shy and timid Kim Mi Cha. // Kim Mi Cha's father ends up at a poker game with CEO Jungkook and Jungkook ends up winning the game but the prize was Kim Mi Cha?

 

The Lie Untold by @54daysormore (☆ F A S)

 » Status: complete series

 » Summary: In a world where everyone has their secrets, Jung-Kook, young and naïve, wants nothing more than his marriage to a stranger to be open and honest.  His new bride, young yet experienced, knows how many lies people tell every day, but hopes her new husband never sees through her own.

 

Untitled by @lamourche (F A)

 » Summary: “I lost our baby”

 

Your First Time by @nitaescence (F S)

 » Summary: Your child performs for the first time in the school's end of year show.

[oh-i-swear-writes]

hi! do you have any advice for first time kitten owners? thanks:)

Oh wow - okay.  Right.  So I’m going to preface this with the fact that any advice I might give below is purely based on my own experiences with Percy (and the cats I’ve had at my Mum’s place before that) and that I’m not in any way a qualified vet/animal professional! 

Below the cut because this got long (I just really like talking about my cat, okay...)

CHOOSING A KITTEN

Okay, so this might seem silly, but consider what type of kitten you’re choosing.  Some people actually find that kittens are a bit too high energy - in which case, perhaps a shelter cat would be a better choice as they can be a bit older and a bit more placid.

People also think that breeds only matter when you’re dealing with dogs - but actually the breed of a cat can make a difference.  Percy, for example, is a Siamese cross, so she doesn’t look like your typical Siamese at first glance, but she actually has very large ears, a very long tail and a certain face shape - but also she carries Siamese-esque personality traits, such as being particularly curious, particularly noisy and actually very intelligent.  I’d always say do a little research to make sure you’re choosing the right kind of cat for you. 

Always go to the home of the kitten to see them - I appreciate some Covid restrictions might make that difficult, but it’s best to see the kitten with their mother, even if it’s by video call.  If someone wants to meet you for example in a car park, probably not the best plan.  Basically, if something smells fishy, it probably is. 

SUPPLIES

Okay, fairly obviously, you’re going to need some things before kitty comes home.  It’s fairly easy to get overwhelmed in a pet store because there are so many items they say you need, and so many variants of each item available!  Now this part really is personal experience, but my shopping list (if I were to start again) would be something like this :

- Kitten food - This is usually clearly marked for 2-12 months or similar, and you can get wet and dry.  Percy has a mixture of both throughout the day.  Kitten food is different to normal cat food because it’s higher calorie, which makes sense when you see how much a kitten will dash around!

- Food/water bowls - I’ve found that Percy is perfectly happy with the food bowl with a water compartment, but I know some cats don’t like that because they won’t drink water from near their food as in the wild it would be contaminated.  If you use a combination bowl but your cat is still drinking from taps or similar it might be because of that, but it’s a bit trial and error.

- A bed - Now, we’ve tried open beds, but Percy prefers her Minnie Mouse kitten cave - probably because it’s enclosed and feels safe.  You might struggle to get a kitten to go into a bed at first - perhaps when you pick them up ask the person you’re getting the kitten from to provide something (a scarf, heck, even a scrap of material) that’s been around the mother cat for a bit.  The scent will be comforting whilst they settle!  

- A litter tray and kitty litter - Fairly self explanatory - ours is one with a top and a door to stop her flicking litter all over the bathroom when she tries to bury her business! 

- Toys - Hoo boy, kittens need enrichment.  That said, it’s easy to go way over the top.  I’d honestly start with one of each variety -  a wand toy, a ball type toy, soft toys... But really.  Everyone who knows me and my cat knows that Percy is Princess Pom Pom because she just loves pom poms and will play fetch.  That said, she also loves her cat tree for climbing, and adores her tunnel! 

WHEN YOU FIRST GET HOME

So, Percy was actually a pretty shy kitten.  She didn’t really like people and that was why she was the last of her litter left.  I knew this when I was taking her on and I knew I’d have to put in work.

When you first get home the general advice is to keep them to one room.  In our case, we used the bathroom so that she’d always know where her litter tray was going forwards as that is where it has stayed.  When she first got back I spent an inordinate amount of time sitting on the bathroom floor with her and letting her come to me.  She was tiny - she was only 8 weeks old and a dink of a thing! 

It took a few days before we let her free roam the flat, but we still put her back in the bathroom at night for the first few weeks just in case.  Again, this decision was based off of the advice we had received from our vet and from various internet sources.  It’s mainly so they don’t get lost/overwhelmed. 

She did cry that first few nights and it was heartbreaking, but I think that was because for all intents and purposes she was a baby who had just been separated from her Mum.  We tried to let her get on with it as she had to learn it was okay to be alone, and that’s worked out... even if she now sleeps on the bed! 

We introduced new people gradually - which got almost immediately paused due to the UK lockdowns.  As it stands she’s now much better with people than she’s ever been but she’s cautious.

GENERAL ADVICE

Percy is cute, but she can be an asshole.  I’ve had to put a lot of work into getting her not to claw the carpets and climb my wooden window frames.  I’ve had to be super patient with it all and just keep stopping her.  Some days it’s battle of the wills, but progress is being made!  Be prepared to be patient, I guess!

Be ready to play - I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spend throwing pom poms for Percy to fetch or waving around a wand toy like it’s my job.  But she needs that; she has energy to burn and generally it’s great fun for both of us.

Don’t assume any cat will automatically be a lap cat - actually, Percy generally isn’t.  Sometimes she comes for a snuggle and I feel honoured and blessed by it when it happens.  That might change as she gets older - she’s not even one yet - but for now I have to accept her as she is (and honestly, I adore her regardless of anything). 

Consider insurance - Percy is insured to make sure I don’t have any sudden enormous vet bills.  I’ve gone for a level which would also cover any chronic illnesses and ongoing treatment she may need as she gets older. 

Consider spaying and neutering - I knew that more Percy’s was not what the world needed.  Honestly, it didn’t.  One is enough for everyone.  And I know I’m not in a place to deal with it, so Percy has been spayed.  If you want more kittens in the future, go ahead and all, but do your research.

Flea and worm treatments - these can be administered by your vet or done at home.  Obviously, it’s a part of the cat-upkeep package and you’re going to want to do that to keep your baby comfortable and also keep your home free of any infestation.

Most of all, the relationship you’ll have with your cat is based on trust and love.  You have to make sure you’re in charge, but that they know they’re loved and cared for.  The best way is spending time with them, whether it’s playing, grooming (especially important with long haired breeds!) or just talking to them, you’ll build that relationship.  Percy, for me, has been more of a handful than I anticipated - but I’ve got to know and understand her and we have a little routine now and we know what we’re going together.  As long as you’re prepared to love them and care for them, you’re probably not going to go far wrong, and given you’ve asked this Nonnie, I reckon your heart is in the right place!

I hope this helps - but if anyone has anything useful to add please do <3

[ibijau]

Nie Huaisang/Zonghui

I wrote this way too fast but heyyy here is the Zonghui/Nie Huaisang fic I said I would write because Fatal Journey gave me emotions

Spoilers for Fatal Journey obviously, warning for character death

1.

Zonghui is Nie Huaisang's cousin, but only very distantly and in fairness, about half the region is tied by blood to the Nie clan to some degree. So Nie Huaisang doesn't feel too bad about the fact that lately, he's been hanging on the fringes of the training grounds more often. If someone asks, he's watching the disciples' form and trying to learn from example. Nobody asks though, so he's free to watch those very, very handsome older boys train in the summer heat, their clothes so dread in sweat that the fabric clings to their bodies. Zonghui in particular is a delight for the eyes.

For once, Nie Huaisang isn't fanning himself just for show. He's about ready to pass out from how hot everything feels. Then Zonghui spots him hiding in the shadows and smiles and...

Nie Huaisang all but runs away at being discovered, missing the way Zonghui barely refrains from laughing at his reaction.

2.

Cloud Recesses is the most boring place in the world, but at least it's nice to be away from Nie Mingjue. Nie Huaisang loves his brother, but being sect leader has turned him into the world's most boring person. For a brief moment, Nie Huaisang considers what it'd be like if Nie Mingjue were in Cloud Recesses. The thought is so incongruous that he bursts out laughing in the middle of a lecture. That pisses off Lan Qiren, who somehow decides it must be Wei Wuxian's fault and punishes them both.

For this, Nie Huaisang gets a scalding letter from his brother that threatens to break all his limbs and set fire to his bedroom if he doesn't fucking behave for five minutes, as well as ordering him to stop hanging out with that weird Wei Wuxian kid.

There's another letter with it, written in a different hand. Zonghui says that Nie Mingjue has already started calming down but, just in case, he took the liberty of discreetly hiding some of Nie Huaisang's favourite paintings, brushes and fans. He wanted to also hide some of the books, but he noticed that they're already gone and must assume Nie Huaisang wisely brought them along.

Nie Huaisang smiles for the rest of the day, even when he's stuck in the library in company of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

3.

Zonghui is a few years older than the other hostages, but the Wens don't seem to care. They have the Second Young Master of Qingge Nie, so everyone else from that sect is just there for the number as far as they're concerned.

It's comforting to know that there's someone here on whom Nie Huaisang can count, but it's also unnerving. Wen Chao probably won't dare actually hurt Nie Huaisang, not unless he wants to give Nie Mingjue an excuse to attack, but everyone else, everyone less valuable to them... Nie Huaisang is an hostage, but the other disciple of Qingge Nie even more so. If he slips in any way, they'll be the ones to pay the price.

Even in Cloud Recesses, Nie Huaisang has never been such a diligent, serious, obedient student.

He won't give anyone an excuse to hurt Zonghui and the others.

4.

After the first battle of the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Huaisang drags Zonghui away from the others who fought behind Nie Mingjue and kisses him square on the lips.

It has been a long time coming, they have exchanged looks for a long time now, but Nie Huaisang enjoyed that game of cat and mouse they had going on. He liked the smiles and the glances and the casual brushes of hands, so he might have continued playing a while longer if given the chance.

Now is no longer the time for such games. Not when Nie Huaisang saw how many disciples haven't returned to the Unclean Realm, and how many of those who returned are badly wounded.

In a moment, Nie Huaisang will go check on his brother, then help the healers to the best of his capacity. But for now, he's enjoying being kissed and held close.

“I thought Young Master was never going to take his chance,” Zonghui teases him after, as they walk back toward the courtyard.

“Well, nobody was stopping you from taking the first step,” Nie Huaisang pouts.

“And ruin your fun? You'd have refused to kiss me just to spite me.”

That's not wrong of course, but Nie Huaisang isn't going to admit it out loud. Instead he pinches Zonghui's arm for his insubordination.

The world, around them, is full of chaos and fear, but there's still some good to be found, if you look in the right place.

5.

The war is won.

The Unclean Realm is quiet, more than it was before the campaign. It will take a while to train new disciples to make up for the ones who died. Nie Huaisang tries his best to help where he can. It's a way to assuage his guilt over the fact that, unlike so many others, he never saw the battlefield. People fought and died while he was at home cleaning bandages and writing letters.

“We needed people to care for the wounded,” Zonghui reminds him as they lay in bed. “And we needed allies. I have the deepest respect for our Sect Leader, but there's a reason he left it to you to write to small sects and convince them to join us.”

“His calligraphy is a horror,” Nie Huaisang concedes. It's not what Zonghui meant of course, but it's still true. “Still... I could have done more. Maybe I should have insisted to fight...”

“You fought where you were the strongest, Young Master. There's no shame in that.”

Nie Huaisang pouts, both at the title (he hates when Zonghui uses it in private, which Zonghui knows of course) and at the attempt to comfort him.

“You're boring,” he complains. “Let me lament on my fate a little more. Such woe! I am an artist in a family of warriors! Ah, what a life, what a horror! How I long to be more than I am!”

“You're plenty enough already,” Zonghui grumbles.

“Shush I said, I'm being lyrical. Woe, terrible woe! All who know me would rather I follow the path of my forefathers, but alas!”

Zonghui huffs, half annoyed and half amused by Nie Huaisang's antics. A little more bad poetry, and Zonghui figures out that the best way to silence him is to kiss him.

That, of course, was Nie Huaisang's plan all along, but he still makes a show of protesting, just for fun.

6.

Since the massacre at Nightless City, Nie Mingjue's mental state has gotten worse and worse. Huaisang hears whispers of an illness, and sees how some of the older disciples watch his brother with ever growing fear. He notices also that some conversations stop as soon as he comes into view.

When asked about it, Nie Mingjue denies that anything is wrong and claims it is nothing more than unrest of his spiritual energy.

But if things were right, he wouldn't allow Jin Guangyao to play spiritual melodies to him.

If things were right, he wouldn't be forcing Nie Huaisang to practice the blade when they both know how hopeless that endeavour is.

Something is wrong with Nie Mingjue, yet Nie Huaisang is kept in the dark about it. Even Zonghui won't tell him, although it's obvious that he knows. It's an ongoing argument between them.

Then one day, thieves break into the Sword's Halls and, finally, Nie Huaisang learns the truth.

He understands why Zonghui did not want to tell him, because now he wishes he didn't know what his family has done, is doing, will keep doing if nobody stops this madness.

7.

It's not the first time that Nie Mingjue is threatening someone from their sect before of his unstable mind. Nie Huaisang has been on the receiving end of that a few times just these last few weeks. And after everything that has happened in this cursed tomb, after fighting that sword spirit, of course Nie Mingjue is unwell, of course he doesn't realise that Zonghui isn't possessed anymore.

Nie Huaisang doesn't hesitate before using the flute Jin Guangyao gave him, playing the melody he's memorised from ear. For something he's never done before, it works surprisingly well at first.

At first.

Then Nie Mingjue slits Zonghui's throat in one swift strike.

When that blade turns toward him, Nie Huaisang does nothing to avoid it. It has been too much blood, too much loss.

He doesn't know whether to be relieved or not when Nie Mingjue comes back to himself. It's not that Nie Huaisang wants to die, but right now being alive feels like the hardest thing he's ever gone through.

He follows Nie Mingjue's gaze toward Zonghui's corpse, lying in a pool of his own blood. Zonghui who will never tease him and protect him and ruin his paintings and kiss him and snore like a barbarian when they spend the night together and complain that Nie Huaisang kicks in his sleep.

Zonghui is gone.

But Nie Mingjue is still there, looking ready to break as he watches the carnage around them.

“It was the sword's spirit that did this,” Nie Huaisang lies, holding onto his brother.

It's hard to say if Nie Mingjue believes him or not. Perhaps it doesn't matter. Even if the sword spirit killed those men, it is their Sect Leader's fault for taking them into danger.

8.

The realisation that Jin Guangyao messed with Nie Mingjue's mind to hasten his breakdown and provoke a Qi deviation was hard to stomach.

Another one follows, some hours later. Nie Huaisang was struggling to fall asleep, seething with rage and despair over his brother's fate, when a thought hits him with such force that he nearly chokes on it.

Nie Huaisang killed Zonghui.

Not directly, and certainly not on purpose. But he played Jin Guangyao's tainted melody to his brother in that cursed place, and Zonghui died as a result.

For this too, for making Nie Huaisang his weapon, for taking the person he loved most after his brother, Jin Guangyao will pay.

[epicstuckyficrecs]

2019 New Writers Fic Rec

After seeing some Discourse on Twitter, I decided to make a fic rec with some of my favorite new writers! All of these writers only started posting Stucky fanfic in 2018 or 2019. So here are some “new” writers and some of my favorite fics from them! (in no particular order)

PS: sorry for not putting the trope, word count and rating as I usually do, I wanted to try and make this fic rec quickly! 

PS2: also sorry if I chopped all your summaries, but some of them are hella long and this post is already... pretty long.

PS3: this went way past “favorite new writers” and just became “great new writers” because I wanted to prove a point, oops. 

verzacefatale 

You be yours and I'll be mine : “Oh, god. We got married, didn’t we?” 

14-Inch Cock and a Few Hundred Bimbos : There are some things in life, Steve muses as he stares down at his crotch, that nothing can prepare you for. His dick suddenly growing six inches in length and another two in girth, just because he opened a box in a Hydra dug out that maybe he should have read the instructions on before he did? How was he to know it was literally magic that would make his cock grow huge?

~

2bestfriends 

Collar Full of Chemistry : AKA a fantasy BDSM romance featuring heavy mutual pining, feelings denial, and enough kink to blackout a bingo card. 

Like Real People Do : AKA the "Lumberjack Steve/Twink Bucky" fic of our hearts.

~

deadonarrival

100,000 Miles And Feeling Very Still : Steve Rogers took a job at NASA and his life is pretty okay. Maybe not great but he has some good friends and things seem to be mostly stable. Except one day their new astronaut recruit walks in and everything in Steve's life goes upside down.

Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark (WIP): Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school and is working on his international relations masters. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth.

~

voxofthevoid

(series) couldn't get the boy to kill me (ongoing): Captain America and the Winter Soldier are a terrifying duo on the field, working together with a well-oiled precision that tears through their enemies. Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes are distant coworkers, all polite nods and mission briefings. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are fire and gasoline; the sparks between them have no choice but to roar into raging infernos.

happily ever after has bite marks in it : In which Bucky is aggressively okay with his self-imposed exile from society, and Steve is a werewolf who’s nothing like the Brooklyn boy Bucky still dreams of.

darling heart, i loved you from the start (but that's no excuse for the state i'm in) : Or, the one where Steve saves the mind stone for last and decides to fuck the timeline beyond all recognition, which regrettably involves crawling delicately up Hydra's asshole and less regrettably involves showering a very confused Bucky Barnes with affection.

(series): i'm guilty of treason (i've abandoned control) : S.H.I.E.L.D Agent Bucky Barnes is captured on a mission and meets Commander Steve Rogers, the erstwhile Captain America.It escalates quickly.

four dreams in a row where you were burned : When Steve uses the last of his Pym Particles to travel to 1944 and save his best friend, he doesn’t have a plan beyond leaving behind the battlefield and living his life alongside the people he loves. But the life that finds him is not the one he expects.

~

deisderium

much tattoo about nothing : Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

(series) tits out, lads : On the walk back from Azzano, Bucky keeps touching Steve's chest. Then he touches it some more. And more.

Let Them Eat Cake : Bucky wanted to know why their new pastry chef had gun calluses on his right hand.

deep dive : In which single dad Bucky Barnes has a crush on his daughter's dive team coach and thirsts awkwardly. 

thot through the heart (and you're to blame) : In which Bucky is a baby vampire, a disaster, out to have a good time, and hopelessly in love with his roomate; and in which Steve has a few secrets of his own.

Political Animals (WIP) : or—Steve’s best friend is the U.S. Constitution and he can’t seem to stop fucking a hot Republican. They shouldn’t fall in love, but somehow they do.

~

thedoubteriswise

time on my hands (could be time spent with you) : "You doing okay, kid?” Steve releases a breath, deciding how honest he wants to be. No point in lying. No point in telling the truth, either. "Glad to see you.""That’s not what I asked, but same to you, punk."

honey don't feed it, it will come back : He’s stroking the cat’s fur, which is soft and fine now that it’s clean. He looks so open and inviting. Steve doesn’t close his eyes, watching Bucky’s gentle fingers and trying to come up with a plausible excuse to go touch him.

Ill With Want : Bucky pretends to be asleep when Steve crawls into bed, too tired to feel guilty over the quivery pleasure that settles in his belly when Steve’s arm brushes his. He drifts to sleep in a comfortable haze and tries not to wonder where this feeling was two hours ago when he had Marie in his lap.

~

steebadore

Controlled Release : Bucky's just having a little trouble...finishing. Completing the mission. He can squeeze the trigger but he can't make the shot is what he's saying. Which is why he's here, loitering outside a nice brownstone in Park Slope, trying to find the courage to knock on Captain Come Control dot com's door for his three o'clock appointment.

it takes a lot to know a man : Bucky flips to the next page, and the world around him grinds to a halt as his brain struggles to process what he's seeing. The noise of the train fades and static fills the inside of his head as he looks down at the sketches of the metal-armed guy without the mask. It's—that's him. It's Bucky's own goddamn face staring back at him from this stranger's sketchbook.

~

AidaRonan

Quench : Or the one where archeology intern Bucky Barnes meets actual archeologist Steve Rogers and reaches levels of thirst scientists once believed to be theoretically impossible.

Carnal Synchronicity : AKA A Tale of Two Stevies

Fraternizing With the Enemy : Steve and Bucky are both the presidents of their respective fraternities. Steve thinks Bucky's frat is filled with selfish party animals who care about little else. Bucky thinks Steve is a giant pretentious douchebag who owns too many Lacoste polos. They hate each other. Passionately.

~

lockedlocke

I just need you to show me : A quick google search tells him that the app he needs to get for something quick and easy, with no strings attached is Grindr. He downloads the app while he watches a bit of a Simpsons episode. It doesn’t take long, and when the app is downloaded, he looks at black icon with the yellow mask.

Pride : So here he was, at Pride despite the fact that he’d rather be at home. It’s hot, boiling and his feet hurt a bit from standing all day. Converse might be nice shoes, but Jesus they were terrible for his knees.

~

mcwho

it never hurt nobody : “I thought we agreed that that was creepy.” “No,” Bucky says slowly. “I asked you what you thought about people calling their boyfriends daddy, and you said you thought it was creepy, and then I asked you what the hell you’d done with my grey sweater after you did laundry, and we never talked about it again.”

(series) the serum amplifies : Little PWPs about Steve and Bucky’s sex life and the serums effect on it.

~

missandrogyny

don't know where i'm going (but i'll get back to you and me) : AU where Bucky is an assassin who just can’t seem to kill Steve

~

LeeHan

The Right Partner : Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

The Best Way to Wake : James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something.

~

amethystkrystal

Taking This One Step At A Time : In the weeks that follow, Bucky's omega urges start going haywire, and he realizes that night with Steve may have left him with more than just a fond memory.

Realignment : After assembling their own Infinity Gauntlet, the Avengers defeated Thanos and brought back everyone who disappeared. But their victory came at a great cost: in order to take the Soul Stone, Steve had to sacrifice the Captain America mantle and all the super-soldier strength that came with it.

~

cydonic

Home Is Wherever I'm With You : This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

~

deadto27

The Sweetest Spark : Steve Rogers runs a successful business. He has great friends and a great life. It seems like he has it all. So why is he sitting in a diner on a Friday night alone? Maybe he's just a little lonely. Maybe Bucky Barnes can help with that.

Maybe This Christmas : Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

~

NachoDiablo

Reconcilable Differences : AKA, "What To Do When Your Zany Fake-Relationship Scheme Actually Works."

~

odetteandodile

If Only In My Dreams : Bucky is a highly successful cooking and lifestyle blogger. He writes all about life in his Connecticut home with his D.H. (darling husband). Only problem? It’s all complete fiction.

So I Took a Faithful Leap : Bucky doesn’t fall and Steve doesn’t crash. The Howling Commados take out the remaining Hydra bases…and then they go home, just like all the other allied soldiers. Steve buys a farm in Washington state, and tries to relearn how to be at peace.

Art Thief, Heart Thief : Agent Steve Rogers is facing a series of art thefts that has him stumped, and looking for a break in the case. Convicted art thief and general high end criminal Bucky Barnes wants to make parole and happens to know all of the right people who could make Steve's job easier.

Under the Hawthorn Tree : A young man wanders into the woods one night, and wanders until he isn't a young man anymore—but something else. Seventy years later, another man follows him. Inside of a magic ring, they meet.

~

canistakahari

don't threaten me with a good time : Steve's taken him on vacation to a cabin in Canada in the middle of winter, so it's obviously the perfect time for his body to go haywire. Bucky is determined to stick it out, though, partly because he's a stubborn bastard, but mostly because he feels some kinda way about Steve.

Heckin' Chunker for Love : On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message: W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?

(TBR) All of Your Love is Sunlight : Sometimes the path to happiness involves bad timing turned good, a butt plant, and a little everyday magic. For Steve and Bucky, it's all that and more.

~

birdjay

(TBR) STAR PLAN : He’s the most gorgeous thing Bucky’s ever laid eyes on.He’s his new tentative boss. Maybe. If this interview goes well enough, anyway. “So, Mr. Barnes?” Steve asks, blinking at him from across a particle board table. “You ever work security before?”

stay : The platform buzzes, and suddenly goes quiet. The cycle has finished. Bucky doesn’t bother to look. There’s no way Steve’s coming back when he has the chance to stay. He moves to walk away, to move on with his life, somehow. “Buck -- ?”

(TBR) The Conservation of a 17th Century Painting : Steve can’t even remember the last time he’s spoken to someone actually interested in art, who coincidentally is also someone he’d like to bang. Actually, no. He’s never had that happen.

~

dragongirlG

Searching Every Lonely Place : After the Battle of New York in 2012, Steve searches for Bucky with the help of the Avengers as he bumbles through a series of comedic misunderstandings with undercover HYDRA agents.

Reclamation : The Winter Soldier’s mask never falls off when he fights Captain America on the overpass and the helicarrier. That doesn’t stop the Soldier from recognizing Captain America and wondering why the man’s face is haunting his scattered memories.

~

megs_bee

Nothing Good Ever Happens On A Tuesday : Recently discharged soldier James Barnes is back in Brooklyn, down an arm and missing five years of memories, but he’s got his PTSD mostly under control, a fancy metal prosthetic, and what’s starting to feel like it could be a half-decent life. What he doesn’t have is any memory of the kid looking at James and asking him, “Are you my daddy?” -- or the gorgeous blond guy standing next to her.

A Ghost Before You Were a Ghost Story : “I’m sorry to wake you, Sir, but there appears to be an intruder on the roof. ”Tony finds the camera showing a figure standing alone on the roof, black tactical gear blending into the black night sky. Barely a shadow among shadows, save for the glint of silver along the figure’s left side. The Winter Soldier.

~

VenusMonstrosa

Extant : After a sudden and violent storm forces the crew of Insight III to perform an emergency evacuation, astronaut James Barnes was believed to have died and was left behind on Mars. Two years later, Commander Steve Rogers still refuses to let go. Fortunately, so does Bucky.

Through The Woods : There’s a legend in Mansewood, nearly as old as the town itself, about a pack of werewolves that once lived in the forest. They say only one survives; a monstrous and snarling beast with fur like a blizzard and fangs the size of daggers. Steve doesn’t care about any of that. He only wants to know if it prefers T-Bone or ribeye, and would it please stop tracking dirt through his house? He just mopped the floor.

~

BlueSimplicity

(series) You Are Responsible For What You Tame : After the events in DC and on the helicarriers, and the realization that his friend Bucky Barnes is still alive, Captain Steve Rogers swears that he will do anything he can to find him. It is easier said than done, as Steve searches desperately for any hint or clue that will lead him to his friend. Steve searches, but Bucky does not want to be found. And so begins their game of cat and mouse, as Steve does everything in his power to convince Bucky to come home.

~

GoldBlooded

A Midsummer Knight's Dream : Sir Steven, knight, alpha, and baron of a small countryside estate, receives an invitation to a Royal Tournament: It’s a winner-take-all competition, and the prize? The hand of Prince James, the kingdom’s most eligible omega, in marriage.

Feast On This : Steve, Sarah, and Bucky are headed down to Florida to visit the Barnes family for Thanksgiving. Bucky's tired of the interrogation about his love life from his Ma, and Sarah suggests the simplest solution would be for he and Steve to fake it for a few days. How hard can it be, right? After all, they've shared a bed before. After all, it's only pretend... Right?

Luck of the Irish Stroll : Every year Steve and Sam go on the Irish Stroll Bar Crawl, and ever since their first time on the Stroll four years ago, Steve and Sam cross paths with Bucky and Natasha. Every year Steve’s world is rocked by the gorgeous, blue-eyed man that has captivated him since they first locked eyes fighting over a couple of pints of Guinness from the bartender. But Steve's starting to want and need more of Bucky... will this be the year he can make it last for more than one night?

~

girlbookwrm

(TBR) (series) The Hundred Year Playlist : Steve and Bucky, start to finish. "Come on, pal, it's me. Take another hundred years if you want, I'll still be here."

sidereal : Captain Rogers never did a self-portrait; we can only speculate who his soulmate — or soulmates — might have been.

~

ClaraxBarton

Holding On : “Your poll numbers are way down, and we need to get them back up.”

~

stfustucky

Salt & Sugar (collab with GoldBlooded) : Steve Rogers is a bigshot celebrity chef in New York City, and Bucky Barnes is a classically trained pastry chef in Moscow. When billionaire and mutual friend Natasha Romanoff calls on them to collaborate for her Memorial Day Benefit Gala, they both brace themselves to spend the week working with some jerk they're bound to hate. 

Honestly, Fuck Brooklyn : Or, the one where it takes yet another apocalypse for the somewhat oblivious Bucky Barnes to figure out that his dorky artist boyfriend Steve is actually Captain Goddamned America.

~

writeonclara

How to Woo the Winter Soldier : Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

[drangues]

It’s such a good trope and I require more of it!!! It’s just really good for character development in general, I think. And! Chirimen it is!!! The good boy is gonna get SO spoiled by everyone that isn’t Dazai, but especially Atsushi, Kyouka, and- Surprisingly- Kunikida. Mainly because the good boy chases Dazai away from Atsushi and back to his seat to do work since he Does Not like him near his human. But! (Nyanon, 1/5)

Yeah, kinda like the little mermaid when it comes to Feral!Atsushi, but he’s much closer with Byakko in this, since he was half tiger for so long, so sometimes it’s a Struggle because Byakko says to not be a fucking coward and eat the raw meat,, Meanwhile, Kunikida is screaming because yOUR GONNA GET SICK PUT THAT BEEF DOWN ILL COOK IT FOR YOU- And it’s generally just chaotic. Also I’m torn on what to do with Kyouka??? (Nyanon, 2/5)

Kinda want her to have fallen under Yokohama somehow before Atsushi met the ADA, so he has an assassin for a little sister without realizing, because Byakko is just like “Good, she smells like blood, our new cub can defend herself.” Research into cases of feral children is ongoing either way, though, don’t worry! And of course Atsushi trying to investigate Like A Human is adorable, he probably doesn’t realize that animals aren’t really valid sources at first??? (Nyanon, 3/5)

“But Snowball says she saw someone running left!!!” // “Atsushi for the last fucking time-“ I love him. Anyways, you want more Fukuzawa and Atsushi being like a father and son? Should I go into the “Crazy Cat Man” AU, since that’s. Basically what that is? Either way, I’m gonna indulge you in another Concept for your troubles, as is typical of me. So! (Nyanon, 4/5)

A Nyatsushi Concept: If you manage to leave a cucumber near him without his noticing, once he sees it, he’ll jump super high for some reason??? He claims that they’ve always unnerved him but Dazai is too busy howling in laughter to listen to him. (Nyanon, 5/5)

KUNIKIDA LOVING CHIRIMEN Y E S S S S dazai would be so sulky tho cause he wants to be near atsushi but chirimen is just M E AN (bonus if the moment dazai confesses to atsushi about his emotions chirimen suddenly is very cool with dazai being all snuggly and doesnt even try to interfere and dazais just like “thATS what took you to not be an asshole??”)

and with the feral stray animal owowo hmm maybe kyouka gets rescued by dazai cause “save the orphans” and he knows her struggle cus he too, was at the mafia and relates some way but when atsushi joins shes kinda awestruck at atsushi being basically a half tiger and since they kinda have to share a dorm (reluctantly the others agree, since theyre afraid atsushi will go crazy and do something bad to kyouka, but that flies out the window when they see how gentle he is towards her since byakko seems to have taken very much of a liking to her)

and through that atsushi and kyouka get closer and kunikida stressing out because atsushi is having an internal struggle with byakko is so FUNNYEHJSKS

TELL ME THE CRAZY CAT MAN AU N O W W WWW

HES AFRAID OF CUCUMBERJKESJKAAKLEEKSKALS M CRYING HES SO CUTE <33

[komatsunana]

My Ai Yazawa Reccomendation List

This is a list that I’ve actually been thinking about for a while now (like... years lmao). Basically just a few of my personal recommendations of series (only manga and webtoons this time around but I have a couple tv shows and anime that I also might rec in a second list if people like this one...) that people like me that are missing Yazawa’s work might enjoy.  The bulk of this list is for NANA, because that is her unfinished work, but I’ve got quite a few recs for her other series.

I don’t love all the series on this list (or even like tbh), but I can see where someone who likes a certain aspect of Yazawa’s work might enjoy the series more than me.   I didn’t include trigger warnings because it’s been a number of years since I read some of these series (and some I never finished) but feel free to ask me and I’ll do my best.

Obligatory recommendation that if you enjoy any of Yazawa’s series, you should give any of her series a try.  I think all of the series that  I’ve read by her are masterpieces in their own right and if you’re missing NANA (or any of her other works) you should definitely read the rest of her work because many of my own favorite aspects of Yazawa’s works are present in all of her work - like female friendship and continuous story lines (rather than episodic).

Feel free to add on with your owns recs... And tell me if you read any of these series!

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If you like the past/future mechanic of NANA with young adult characters and enjoy unveiling the mystery in Kagen no Tsuki  then give Piece by Ashihara Hinako a try.  The MC and her best friend have a good passing resemblance to Nana and Hachi, if Hachi were chubby but they have more than appearance in common with NANA’s leading ladies...  To say any more would be spoilers!  This series also marries some of the messy melodrama of RL with realism like NANA.

Summary: One day, Mizuho, a university student, receives news that her classmate in high school, Origuchi Haruka, passed away. Mizuho doesn't remember being best friends with Origuchi, but apparently, Origuchi told her mother that Mizuho was her best friend. And now, her mother wants Mizuho to help her find the boy Origuchi dated during high school. Mizuho told Origuchi's mother that Origuchi was a very plain girl, and she was never seen with a guy, but her mother told Mizuho that Origuchi got pregnant and had an abortion when she was in high school. Mizuho was shocked, but she still starts asking her other classmates in high school and following the traces Origuchi left behind.

Status: Complete

-

If you liked Paradise Kiss for the portrayal of a bunch of odd-balls coming together to do something creative together and inspiring Yukari with their passion OR for Yukari’s struggle with her mother academic expectations then you might enjoy the webtoon Spirit Fingers by Han Kyoung Chal!

Summary:  What do you do if you're going on 18, totally awkward and lacking in self- confidence? You could just sit in your room all day and all night and study and wonder why you never get asked out…OR, if you’re Amy Song you could join up with the Spirit Fingers – the strangest, hippest, coolest (yet most welcoming) art club ever. But as Amy is about to learn, discovering your TRUE colors is about more than just painting.

Status: Complete, still being translated.  Best part is you can start reading the series completely LEGALLY here.  They changed the character’s first names to more western ones and it’s a bit behind the unofficial translations but I still recommend reading it legally.

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If you liked NANA because you liked how the Nanas had the same name and had all these other similarities, meeting under fateful circumstances but also wish they’d date then give Lonely Wolf, Lonely Sheep a try by Fuka Mizutani!

Summary:   Two women with the same name happens to meet each other when they're at the same hospital for the same injury. They want to become closer, but both must overcome their insecurities and self-loathing first.

Status: Complete

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If you like the past/future telling aspect of NANA with a large, fully-fleshed cast of characters who are all living their life check out Cheese in the Trap by Soonkki.  Sul is a very strong, no- nonsense MC but with plenty of charm with great friends.  Like NANA it’s easy to hate some of the more flawed characters but at the end of the day even the antagonists have complex reasons for being the way they are and aren’t just living to be an opposing force.

Summary:  Seol Hong is a hard-working student, who has returned to college after a long break. Jung Yu is a senior at the college known as Mr. Perfect. Seol feels like her life took a turn for the worse since she got involved with Jung. Is Jung intentionally turning Seol's life?

Status:  Ongoing... I think?  You can read the webtoon legally [here] and the translations are being posted weekly still at least.

-

Do you like younger looking characters like Mikako and Miwako?  Do you like playboys like George as a male lead but wish he were a bit more earnest?  Did you like how Akira and Midori took their time getting to know and understand each other by the end of the series?  Do you just like how Yazawa emphasizes friendship in her work?  Here’s Lovely Everywhere by Ke Li for you.

Summary: Tong Danwei is a high school freshman with romantic dreams about the boy she is fated to meet. While on the way home from picking up groceries, she runs into a pretty boy, and that’s where our story begins. Will she find love in high school? And more importantly, will any boy be able to overlook the fact that although she is in high school, she still looks like an elementary student?? Follow along on Tong Danwei’s adventure of love and high school angst, with plenty of comedy thrown in to the mix.

Status: Complete  

-

If you like the supernatural mystery aspect of Kagen no Tsuki starring younger characters with mysteriously dead-but-not-dead characters, then Route 225 might by a good series to try.  It’s by Shimura Takako & Fujino Chiya (Original Story).  You might know Shimura Takako from her other series like Wandering Son and Sweet Blue Flower, so you know she is great portraying emotional realism like Yazawa.

Summary: 14-year-old Eriko finds herself left in charge of her younger brother Daigo when their parents suddenly disappear one warm summer evening. Trapped in a world that is very much like their own save for the lack of their parents, Eriko and Daigo find themselves desperate for the return of the worrywart mother and apathetic father they never thought they'd miss so badly...

Status: Complete  

-

If you liked NANA because you liked reading about a pair of women who are very different and yet are very good friends to the point where their friendship is more important to them than romantic relationships (even if they struggle to properly communicate this to each other) then try the short series Tomodachi no Hanashi by Kawahara Kazune (Story) and Yamakawa Aiji (Art).

Summary:  Eiko is something like a plain Jane and a doormat, while her best friend Moe is a head-turning beauty. Despite their differences, their friendship is as strong as ever.    Guys are always asking Moe out, but her answer is inevitable, "only if you promise to put Eiko before me."

Status: Complete 

-

Did you like how Hachi from NANA kept losing her jobs?  And had no luck in love?  Do you prefer to read about young adult characters?  Even though we never talk about how funny Yazawa’s work is... was that something you really liked about her work? Dame na Watashi ni Koishite Kudasai by Nakahara Aya!  Hachi and Shibata aren’t exactly alike but they are both fun to read and get into the mindset of in a similar way.

Summary:   The unemployed Shibata Michiko is betting everything she has on her romance with a younger man—literally. In order to keep him happy, she deprives herself of the things she wants and buys him expensive clothing and accessories. Since she's flat out broke, she needs to find a job before she starves to death and loses her young love interest. However, Michiko discovers that the boy was never interested in her romantically. Depressed at being dumped and after a series of unsuccessful interviews, she bumps into Kurosawa—an intimidating former boss she used to dislike.

Status: Complete, with a spin-off

-

If you’re interested in exploring Mikako’s feelings from Gokingo Monogatari when she dropped out of school then Cat Street might interest you.  Both MCs find themselves a group of friends and attend alternative high schools - though while Mikako’s is an art’s school, in Cat Street is more of a free school that seems to specialize in drop-outs and the like.

Summary:  The story centers around Keito Aoyama, a former famous child actress. Due to a childhood incident, she retired from her career early and withdrew from normal society. Now 16, she passes her days in boredom and without purpose. But one day she runs into a stranger who takes her to El Liston--a free school for high school students like herself, who don't have a place where they belong. Though hesitant at first, Keito decides to enter El Liston and subsequently, she begins a new stage in her life. With the help of her only remaining childhood friend, Taiyou, and her new classmates Rei, Momiji, and Kouichi, Keito slowly finds the courage to open up to others and to accept their support. Will Keito return to acting? Will she find true friends? Love?

Status: Complete

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If you want a series like NANA that is about adult women who are good friends and roommates as they balance their life with their career, love-lives, and friendship with each other try Tokyo Alice by Toriko Chiya.  Alternatively, if you were wondering what Hachi might look like if you reversed her obsession with love with her love of shopping... you’ve got Tokyo Alice’s MC (lol)

Summary:   Fu Arisugawa is a little worried there might be something wrong with her. She loves shopping above all else, using her money to buy designer and brand-name items to the exclusion of all else. But while her friends also enjoy shopping, they're all also on the hunt for love in one way or another – something that Fu finds she just isn't all that interested in. When her boss starts showing interest in her, will Fu figure it out? Or is she going to keep going in her shopping wonderland?

Status: Complete, also has a recent drama that you can watch with Prime TV!

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If what interested you most about NANA was it’s portrayal of the music industry of a new band and wanted more of that then try Beck by Sakuishi Harold.  Beck, like NANA, has an anime that while it doesn’t cover the entire series is worth watching or even having the soundtrack on as you read the series.

Summary:  Fourteen-year-old Yukio "Koyuki" Tanaka is a dispirited young boy with no goals in life. However, this all changes when Koyuki saves a strange-looking dog named Beck from being harassed by a group of local kids. The dog's owner, 16-year-old Ryuusuke "Ray" Minami, is an emerging guitarist and the former member of a popular rock band. After Koyuki meets Ray again in a diner, the older boy leads him to his former band's meeting place and dazzles Koyuki with his amazing guitar skills. Slowly becoming interested in the glamour of western rock culture, Koyuki decides to start playing the guitar while helping Ray achieve his dream of leading the ultimate rock band. Together with Ray's younger sister Maho and a few other members, the two boys launch their career into the world of rock by forming a band called BECK. Beck follows the group's struggles and successes as they spread their fame across Japan.

Status: Complete

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If you like how Yazawa writes her female “rival” characters as sympathetic and likable (even if not everything they do is likable) then you might enjoy Koda Momoko’s Heroine Shikkaku.  It’s about a girl who is shocked when she discovers she’s more like the bitchy villainess who bullies the sweet and pure heroine in shojo manga.

Summary:  This could be any girl. Imagine being a heroine of a love story. Hatori also believed that one day she would get married to her childhood friend, Rita. But that's not how the world works! This is a hilarious comedy that honestly paints a painful unrequited love story of this young girl!

Status: Complete

-

If you want a short read like NANA, with two very different girls with the same name who tie their futures together then read the one-shot  Watashi to Watashi by Sahara Mizu.  Note that I’m only suggesting you read this specific one-shot, not any of the other one-shots contained in the collection this one is in... Actually I very much insist you don’t read the first one.  I highly recommend reading others’ of Sahara Mizu’s work if you enjoy this one because even if none of them are directly similar to any of Yazawa’s... the emotional complexity is.

Summary:   Two girls with the same name; one beautiful and athletic, the other awkward and shunned. But who’s the lucky one?

Status: Complete 

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If you like a series having 2 characters named Nana in NANA (even if their relationship with each other is... entirely different) and enjoy the format of Nana and Hachi continuing to address each other in inner monologues in the future where they haven’t seen each other for years or you just like messy, realistic relationships try We Were There by Obata Yuuki.

Summary:  The start of high school life. To the girls, that also meant the start of their love lives. For brand new first year student, Takahashi Nanami (Nana for short), it was no different... She happens to end up in the same class as the incredibly popular Yano Motoharu, who rumors say that two thirds of all the girls are guaranteed to fall in love with. But will that hold true for Nana, who says that if she had to choose between like or dislike, she'd say she dislikes him!?

Status: Complete

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What was your favorite thing about Tenshi Nanka Ja Nai?  Was it Akira struggling with his feelings for someone that married into his family?  Was it Midori and Mamirin’s friendship?  Try Omoi, Omoware, Furi, Furare by Sakisaka Io.  (Strobe Edge also by Sakisaka might also work for you).

Summary:  The story centers around Yuna and Akari who have two very different views of love: Yuna is someone who sees love as a dream and Akari is someone who is very realistic about her romance choices. Meanwhile, there are two boys, Kazuomi and Rio, who also have different views of love: Kazuomi's an airhead and doesn't understand the concept of love, while Rio grabs the opportunity when confessed to as long as the girl looks cute.

Status: Complete, being translated

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If you just like Yazawa’s work and want to read works by a close friend of hers...  Yoshizumi Wataru!  You might know her best from Marmalade Boy, but she also worked on quite a few josei works about young adults... Like Cappuccino (if you like moving on from a first serious relationship as we saw with Hachi and Shouji), but also Cherish and Spicy Pink.

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That’s all I got for now... But again... Let me know if you read any of these! Whether or not at my suggestion lol. And add on too! I’ve read or at least tried all of these myself so now I’m the one in need of recs lol.

[qvestchen]

Nemesis // Soonwoo SVT

Summary: It was really laughable. The idea that Jeon Wonwoo had a nemesis. And yet there it was. The clear proof that all his life, like a nagging dull ache, Kwon Soonyoung had stepped all over his plans without ever really acknowledging him.

And maybe it was wrong for Wonwoo to seek him out but all he wanted was answers at first. He had never imagined they would stand opposite each other, fingers on triggers, his death in his nemesis’s hands and vice-versa.

Author: qvestchen

Status: Ongoing

Chapters: Home, Previous, Next.

Nemesis // Soonwoo SVT

Chapter 4: Tigers don’t fly

“I’m Wonwoo, by the way, from the History department and those over there are my idiot friends who told me playing darts was a good idea.”

Joshua felt his heart stop as he watched Wonwoo introduce himself to Soonyoung. He lunged forward unthinkingly, not even having a plan. He had to separate them. He couldn’t allow the sworn nemeses to meet.

But before he could reach Soonyoung, someone stepped in and put an arm around his elbow. “Just a second, Jisoo.”

Jeonghan.

Jisoo or Joshua? Which do you go by these days? Jeonghan’s hold around his elbow was firm.

Joshua could hear over Jeonghan’s thoughts, Soonyoung’s voice, reacting slowly to Wonwoo, “You’re him,” and he knew this was the beginning of the end.

Or Joshuji? Would you like that, Joshuji?

Fuck off. Joshua shrugged out of his hold.

Jeonghan leaned forward, stopping by his ear. “You’ve already lost this one. Go home and tell your masters that you failed. Maybe you’ll get a reprimand and a new assignment.”

“Nothing is over yet,” Joshua hissed. He nearly ran to Soonyoung’s side. “Hey, I don’t feel well. Maybe we should head back—”

His words might as well have been thoughts because right at the moment a very loud boy jumped between Wonwoo and Soonyoung, drowning out his words. “Wonwoo! You met Hoshi,” Seokmin said, beaming with delight.

Wonwoo raised his eyebrows, looking at his near-victim with renewed interest. So this was the famous drama club president Hoshi who had saved the failing club last semester. His eyes followed the slight pout of his lips, his adorable nose and the soft-looking hair. Truth be told, this Hoshi guy looked a bit stunned still, no doubt reeling from the after effects of nearly being hit by a dart, but even then he was radiating a certain endearing warmth. Wonwoo found himself grinning. “Oh, you are Hoshi? I have heard so much about you—”

But Soonyoung was pulling away. Looking definitely green in the face, he could suddenly feel the bass pumping in his head. Unable to breathe, he felt like the roof was crashing on him.

Someone was calling his name out, a dull sound against the party, but he didn’t stop. He needed to get away.

Finally, he found himself outside. Having escaped the loud party and him, he hadn’t even taken his first gulp of air and he was throwing up, retching against the ground, nearly doubling over.

“Hoshi?”

Someone was rubbing his back, repeating his name in a soft voice. “It’s okay. You’re fine. I got you. I got you, Hoshi.”

“I got you, idiot. You can do it.”

“I can’t do it, Wonu.” The small boy stared at his friend, both kids staring at the swings in the playground.

“Are you scared?” Wonwoo asked, furrowing his brow as he looked at his new friend who was still contemplating playing at the swings.

Soonyoung pouted. “What if the swing is too powerful and I fly off  into space?”

“It is not. I try it every day. I will catch you if you start flying, Soong.”

Soonyoung stared at the swings with sudden determination. “I won’t fly. Tigers don’t fly.”

Wonwoo nodded. “Tigers are basically cats and cats land on all fours.” He added quickly with a proud eye-roll, “I read it in a book.”

“You’re so smart, Wonu. Okay, I’m going for it.”

“I got you. You can do it!”

And he could. He laughed happily, earning a thumbs-up from his friend. No, his best friend. Because even though they had just met, he knew they were going to be friends forever.

But the next day, Wonu was gone.

“Dad, can I stay longer today?”

“It’s already dinner time. You should come home like the other kids. Playgrounds are not fun after dark.”

“I’m just waiting for Wonu.”

“Who is Wonu? Did you find a cat or something to play with? You know we can’t take strays home.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“We moved here a day ago. You already have a best friend?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung said, shining with pride. “He’s very smart and reads books. Do you know a cat always lands on all fours. They can’t fly. Tigers too.”

“Okay,” Dad looked amused. “Well, how about we meet your friend tomorrow? I don’t think he will come today.”

Soonyoung could hear them talking in low voices.

“...have asked every parent with kids in the playground. They’ve asked their kids. No one knows any Wonu.”

“Soonie will be sad.”

“We just need to educate him about imaginary friends. We all have them when we are young. He’ll understand. He’s very intelligent. He started reading illustrated books, you know? Our boy is going to grow up into a fine man.”

“He takes after me.”

“Honey, surely you’ve never read anything beyond the syllabus.”

“Hey, don’t be mean.”

“Let’s go home, Soonie.”

“No!”

“We already talked about this.”

“He’s not imaginary. He’s real. He is real!”

“Get away from me,” Soonyoung gasped, as he gained some control over his body.

“It’s me, Wonwoo. We just met but...uh, here, you can use my handkerchief. Stay, I’ll get some water for you.”

“Jihoon! Cheol!” Soonyoung shouted, instead.

“Woah, calm down, dude.”

“Stay away from me! You’re not real. He’s not real.” Hoshi closed his eyes as he backed away, still calling out for his friends. “Joshua! Cheol! Help me! Junhui! Someone, help me!”

Wonwoo watched in shock, taking a step forward but Hoshi backed further, prompting him to stop.

Someone ran past, a blur really. “Soonyoung, stop!”

And Soonyoung felt arms grab him almost too strongly. “I’m here. No one can hurt you.” He opened his eyes and found himself staring in Joshua’s eyes and something like fire glared back. The fire was spreading now, an invisible shield enveloping him, searing him almost but as the world began to darken at an alarming rate, he felt a comfort in its burn. Joshua was real. Not like—

He grabbed at Joshua desperately, the hold tightening  when he saw Wonwoo still standing in the same spot.

His voice was hoarse from shouting when he whispered, “Can you see him?”

But there were more people now. A very angry Seungcheol already grabbing at Wonwoo’s collar. “What did you do to him?”

Wonwoo staring at him in shock and trying to escape from Seungcheol’s grasp. “I swear, I-I didn’t...He just started shouting. He was sick so I was just…Hoshi, I-I…”

Junhui and Minghao, recently acquainted over mutual appreciation to find someone from back home, had arrived to see Seungcheol nearly murdering Wonwoo but when Junhui caught sight of Joshua holding his friend, he ran forward forgetting his initial impulse to separate them.

“Soonyoung?” he shouted, panic tearing at his voice. “What happened? Is he hurt? We need to call an ambulance.”

Wonwoo stopped struggling at the name. Soonyoung?

Minghao was already on the phone. He sent an SOS to both the medical center and Mingyu. “Done. Now, leave my friend alone.” The last part was aimed at Seungcheol.

“He hurt my friend.”

Minghao’s jaw was clenched. “Did you see him do that? No? Then, we don’t know shit. Leave him right now or I’ll…”

“Or what?” Seungcheol squared himself up. “You will fight me?”

Joshua narrowed his eyes at the exchange. “Seungcheol, don’t.”

“No, but I will and I took boxing classes all my life.” Mingyu appeared on the scene, somehow managing to avoid tripping on the water hose in the garden. He pulled Wonwoo behind him, wedging himself between Seungcheol and Wonwoo.

“Oh, yeah?”

Soonyoung couldn’t hear the exchange following that. All he could hear was Joshua’s uncontrollably loud heartbeat against his ear and his own thoughts. Yes, there was comfort in this too, he thought. He was real, he had always been real.

But that meant everything else had been real too.

He smiled and then the shadows swallowed him up.

“So, if I had managed to hold you inside the party for two more minutes, Soonyoung would have stepped on the electric cable intersecting the water hose, and you would have been free by now.” Jeonghan’s taunting voice echoed in the hospital bathroom, lilting over the running tap at the end.

For once, Joshua didn’t have any response. Nothing to bite back, to argue, just his own heart-wrenching sobs wracking his body. As soon as he had felt the guardian bracelet heating against his skin, he had pushed Jeonghan away, making his way through the crowd of people dancing on the floor. When he had seen his friend backing away, unaware of the mortal danger behind him, the sparks of the torn cable, licking against the water collecting outside the water hose, he had felt as if someone had kicked him in the chest. What were the chances of an incident like this? Always bordering 100% on his job. He hated this job. He hated the nemesis complex. He had forgotten everything, commiting the crime of performing magic in front of humans, to run to his friend. Not his assignment. His friend.

As he cried his fear out in the empty bathroom, he was reminded that his first crime had occurred much earlier. As a guardian, he was supposed to remain objective. He wasn’t supposed to become emotionally involved. He wasn’t supposed to be crying in a hospital bathroom.

“But, you know, there is something I don’t understand. You didn’t raise a finger to protect the other one. You know, Soonyoung’s nemesis, Jeon Wonwoo. He was in danger too because of our friend with anger management issues. I really think Seungcheol should lessen the macho concept but I don’t really care about that. I am just interested in the fact that you seem to be guarding one and not the other. If I didn’t know better I would say your loyalties are biased.” Jeonghan stared at Joshua with interest.

That hurt. Joshua’s mind flickered back to Wonwoo. The scared boy standing in shock, trying to defend himself against everyone’s questioning eyes. With Soonyoung in his arms, Joshua had forgotten Wonwoo. Jeonghan was right. To think that even the Warlock was better at this than him.

The way you are behaving people would think that someone died. Chill, Joshuji, he just passed out from shock. Anyway, from what I can sense, he is about to wake up in 3...2...Jeonghan smiled as Joshua pressed past him.

“I swear, I didn’t do anything,” Wonwoo said tensely, as he paced outside the medical center. He had been told pretty bluntly by Seungcheol and someone called Jihoon to not even dare to come inside.

Seokmin looked at him in worry. He was still processing what had happened. The rumour at the now dispersed party was that Wonwoo had beat up Soonyoung, the Uni’s most adorable guy. They had all been thrown out by Dino who had threatened to call the police for creating a ruckus at his house which also turned out to be the Dean’s house. Everyone had scampered off quite quickly after it.

Beside him, sat Seungkwan nursing a black eye from having got into a fistfight with someone while defending Wonwoo’s “name and honour. Stop lying about Wonwoo, he wouldn’t hurt a fly”.

Mingyu grabbed Wonwoo’s hand. “Hey, we know you didn’t. Just sit for a moment. He’ll be fine. You’re worrying too much.”

Wonwoo seemed to break out of a trance and looked at his friends. He took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

The little puzzle in his brain, the strange feeling that there was someone out there whom he kept meeting but only side-stepping, his fears, the eerie feeling of being followed by a shadow, details of this other person he didn’t remember in full—the back of the head, the swing of the shoulder, a fraction of a cheek, the turn of the ears, the confident walk, the angle of the shoulders and that one time he had seen a quarter of a smile—he had a feeling that the puzzle with all its incomplete bits was unravelling.

Kwon Soonyoung.

He was there, within reach.

He winced as the scar on his knee pulsed with pain at the memory of that other encounter with the name. It felt like a lifetime ago, a remnant of a nightmare. Out of a habit that he had thought he had outgrown, he pressed his knee with his hand as he sat down.

Before he could speak, Minghao and Hansol appeared, walking down the steps. Hao spoke up, “He’s fine. The nurse said it’s just shock. They said a lot of students have issues at the start of the term, course pressures and so on. They gave him something for it. He should be up and about in a few minutes.”

Wonwoo knew it wasn’t ‘course pressures and so on’. The shock had been because of him. He had seen fear in Hoshi’s--no, Soonyoung’s--eyes.

Because it had turned out to be him. The smiling, friendly Hoshi had turned out to be the shadow from his past.

So much for Mingyu and Seokmin dragging him to a party to keep his mind off his worries. He had met the source of them head-on, without even realising it.

But he was okay, at least. He gave a sigh of relief.

“So, it wasn’t Wonwoo, see!” Seungkwan said, jumping up. “I’m going to report everyone at that stupid party to the admin for defamation. Especially those thugs, Seungcheol and Jihoon.”

“Let’s just go home,” Wonwoo said, getting up.

hello everyone! it has been ages since we last updated, we apologise. if you're still reading this fic thank you so much. we love you. we will try to update more often now. please be safe everyone!

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny ― Chapter 12: The Painting

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny ⥽

Nadya Al Jamil (MC) has been struggling from the day she moved to Manhattan, but her new job as assistant to the mysterious CEO of Raines Corp was supposed to turn her luck around. Until she finds herself caught in the middle of a war involving the Council of Vampires who secretly run the city. An evil from the birth of Vampire-kind stirs beneath, feeding on the conflict, and finds Nadya bound to a destiny she never asked for.

Bound by Destiny and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

The Awakening Ball is in full swing and the party mood is infectious. But Nadya's natural curiosity isn't always a good thing.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Luckily the orchestra waits to start playing dancing music until she’s two glasses of champagne in and suitably bubbly enough to join.

Adrian offers his hand and promises not to resent her for her two left feet. It’s pretty much the same sweeping classical waltz in every period drama ever but when she starts to lose what little grace she has Adrian picks up the slack — literally. He picks her up off her feet and carries the weight of them both. Lucky for Nadya the skirts on her dress make it impossible for anyone to notice.

Not like anyone would notice her hovering off the floor, anyway. Not when her pining eyes catch sight of Kamilah dancing with a Duchess of some sort in the middle of the crowd.

“I’m sorry.” Adrian whispers in her ear. It only helps because he means it. Because he squeezes her waist a little tighter and does a flashy thing that raises her up in the air with a whoop of joy.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” she’s not lying to Adrian but rather to herself and he knows it, “I’m used to the whole ‘one-sided affection’ thing.”

They part with a bow and curtsy, have to weave together with held hands as guests switch partners and move into a new beat and tempo.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“All part of the finite package.” Because yes, being surrounded by vampires both new and old (and the humans too, but she doesn’t know many of them now does she?) has her thinking about things like that. Who wouldn’t?

Before he can counter with his usual Adrian-brand of optimism Nadya catches sight of familiar faces by a fountain of red wine — or she hopes it’s red wine. God she hopes it’s red wine. She waves eagerly and drags Adrian over to socialize.

Brandon chokes on his sip as he takes in her dress. “Well well! Look what the cat dragged in — and this time sans yoga pants. Bless, I’m so proud.”

In the middle of shaking Greer’s hand Adrian falters. Frowns slightly and already has his arm up to push Nadya back. Like there’s nothing more threatening around them than a gay man with an opinion. “I — what are you implying?”

“Relax Adrian. He’s making a joke about last night.”

“Down, boy-o,” Greer joins in on the teasing, “not that the guard dog routine isn’t mad sexy. We’re just glad to see our girl made it to the actual event.”

Nadya huffs. “I wasn’t that drunk.” The couple exchange an eye roll and even she has a hard time resisting the sass of their combined stare. “Okay, okay! So I was… kinda hammered.”

“Well I’ll give them that one. You originally passed out in Kamilah’s bed.”

It’s something everyone but Nadya seems to find extremely funny. Namely because she doesn’t remember that but she can still hear the voice she’d hallucinated clear as day. It makes her hesitate and think twice about taking a glassful of the fountain’s spoils.

At least her friends are getting along. At least she has friends.

Not long after Brandon waves over a younger woman and introduces her as his twin sister and their vampire connection, Megan. Age difference aside Nadya can definitely see the resemblance but can’t help herself when she feels a little sorry for Brandon’s fate. For the faded freckles on his cheeks and the lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes.

Megan and Adrian trade comments on vampire life over the last two decades — he offers her and Brandon and Greer a place to stay in New York should they ever need it. There’s a strangely somber air in how the trio thanks him — like a sigh of relief connects them all body and mind.

Greer manages to coax one more drink into her the same way he coaxes her out onto the dance floor. Everything shines with flickering candlelight and the collected jewels and precious metals from all of human history. It’s wonderful, it’s beautiful, it’s magical.

And everyone — every single person — is filled with the same kind of joy and carefree abandon. For a little bit there’s no Feral outbreak in the heart of the city, there’s no fearing for her life or missing her old apartment and missing best friend.

There’s nothing else in the entire world but this Ball, the people attending it, and the memories made.

“I think I’m getting the hang of this!” Nadya announces; uses the spins she’s getting in the head to carry her momentum away from Greer to where Megan is ready to trade partners as well. The music has taken a turn for the boisterous — some Celtic ballad accompanied by an impromptu song from a group of rugged-dressed Highlander attendees.

She reaches out — her fingertips brush the other vampire’s — then the dizziness overtakes her and Nadya feels like she’s hurtling through the sky in freefall.

Comes back to herself to find the decor that was on the other side of the room now much closer. And Kamilah’s hands hold her against the rushing wave in her head.

She wants to laugh — wants to share in the joy of the moment with the one person she wants to make smile more than anything else in the world — but like always Kamilah just leaves her breathless, gasping as they move through the weaving dancers effortlessly.

“Perhaps you’ve had a tad too much wine.” Kamilah admonishes without heat behind her words.

“I’m perfectly sobe — ack!” The word morphs into a desperate cry as Kamilah’s grip slackens. Feigns like she’s going to let Nadya go when she definitely doesn’t have the ability to stand on her own two feet right now. She clings on so hard she can feel every woven fiber of her red dress.

“You were saying?”

“Humans get dizzy, Kamilah. It’s a real thing.”

“Ah, yes. How forgetful of me.”

If you ruin this moment I’ll never forgive you, Nadya thinks to herself — actually takes her own advice for once and just loses all thought and worry in the way Kamilah sweeps her along the floor to the beat. Where their skirts clash like fire and ice but never so much that she can’t feel the solid presence of the woman holding her steady.

When the dance ends a gathering in the middle of the floor all comes together to take hands. Kamilah pulls them away; out into the conversational talkers and wallflowers. It’s eerie how the vampire simply watches Nadya catch her breath — a beauty she’s still foreign to.

“Drink.”

Nadya looks up to see Kamilah holding a glass out to her. She can feel the coolness of the water sliding down her throat, serving as a reminder of just how flustered she actually is.

She remembers at the last second to not wipe her mouth with the back of her arm. Manages a fluttering smile. “T-Thanks.”

Electricity zips through her body then — Kamilah’s touch lifting her chin towards the crystal chandeliers overhead. It reminds her of only a few hours ago in a way her body never got to recover from. A thousand candles lit in her belly all at the same time. Luckily she has the dance to mask her reaction.

All just so the woman can wipe a stray drop of water from the corner of her mouth.

Conversation, girl, come on! She could ask Kamilah any number of things. Familiar faces, balls gone by, even the last time she danced to something so jovial. But there’s a big stone wall between her thoughts and her mouth and it makes Nadya’s heart sink.

“I…”

It takes her a moment to realize — when she no longer feels Kamilah’s touch — that she was the one who pulled away.

“Yes, Nadya? Something to say?”

Shallow, almost panicked breaths… all it would take is a simple step forward…

“I need some air.”

With her skirts gathered in both hands Nadya turns and practically runs in the other direction.

Distantly the clock strikes midnight.

The Ball had opened up to the rest of the castle and surrounding grounds sometime in the middle of her dancing. It was like there was nowhere she could be alone — no place she could feel safe. Surrounded by strangers and knowing that there were enemies among them paired with the churning emotions that couldn’t make sense of her body has Nadya on the brink of breaking down.

The night air does more than beckon her forward. It screams at her, demands she find peace out there where it could be most dangerous. It’s not rational but still she follows — away from the crowds and their pleasant evenings in directions only her feet can understand.

When she comes to it’s in a haze of muddled thoughts in a varietal English she can’t quite catch. Finds her hands grasping onto the metal rungs of a bridge overlooking a dim pond. Through the barest moonlight hiding behind clouds overhead she can see koi flit this way and that; too deep down to stir the surface where fallen flower petals hang abandoned.

A hand rubs soft circles along her exposed back — voice crooning in her ear deep and dark like a cello.

“There there… are you coming back now?”

Nadya snaps back to herself all at once, feels her heart lurch in her chest. The voice chuckles and the hand pulls back.

“Indeed you are. This is where you are told to breathe, yes? In through the mouth, out through the nose… no, that isn’t right.”

Isseya leans back against the same railing; the trails of her dress trying desperately to catch on the faint night breeze.

Or — maybe it isn’t Isseya. Not with the strange kindness in her eyes and the way her lips hold no withheld scorn. It’s definitely like she’s looking at a twin — or a mirror image reflected back in every way. Definitely not the viper from the ballroom… right?

The vampire taps her olive nose; reminds Nadya to breathe in so deep it burns and only when she feels like her lungs are going to burst through her corset does she let it all out.

“Very good,” praises her companion.

She expects Isseya to try and begin a conversation, but instead the woman just… watches her breathe. She seems almost fixated, fascinated by it. Eyes raking down to see her compressed midriff rise and fall. She mimics Nadya twice before seemingly becoming bored with the act. Watches passively instead with an unblinking stillness.

When she has to take in less and less to ground herself is when Isseya speaks again.

“May I ask what that was?”

“What —” Nadya takes in one last gulp of air, “— what was what?”

She’s not trying to deny it; not like it’s the first time she’s ever had a panic attack so strong she blacked out a bit. But the look on Isseya’s face surprises her.

“You’re… I mean — you’re immortal and you’ve never had a panic attack?”

The vampire gives a “ha” of surprise.

“From what would I panic?”

“Uh… stakes, garlic, the sun?”

“No.”

Nothing like staring eternal life in the face and feeling immensely inadequate. But the woman contradicts even her thoughts — still looking at her with what almost feels like awe.

“Such violent reactions to fear I’m not unaccustomed to. But you caused your own fear, did you not? Beautiful…”

Only Nadya doesn’t find it very beautiful at all. When Isseya reaches out as if to touch her again she steps back — manages to keep her footing despite the curve of the bridge. She doesn’t even want to think about the holy hellfire that would rain down on her for ruining a Lacroix dress with pond water.

“Please don’t touch me.”

“Forgive me, mortal child.”

“Nadya,” she corrects, “my name is Nadya.”

“Nadya, then. A beautiful name for a beautiful creature. I told Valdas, you know, that you must be a sign sent for us.”

She says it so calmly. Maybe it’s meant to be that way — meant to entice her to know more. It works.

“I don’t understand.”

Hands braced on the railing and face turned away; Nadya doesn’t have to see her to hear the way her voice wavers.

“‘Nadya’ is a name which means hope. Something which my partner and I have lost more and more of with each passing year. You expect the continual passing of years when you Turn, you know. You accept the hunger. Say farewell to the warmth of a sunrise. I even reconciled the knowledge that everyone I would ever know would rot in the ground beneath my feet. But… no one tells you the little things you lose along the way.”

It’s more emotion than she’s ever seen from a vampire — a thought she’s almost angry at herself for having if it didn’t feel so true. Every word Isseya says is heavy with time. They weigh her down and down, deeper and deeper until she wonders how she’s not looking down at the woman from the center of the planet.

She doesn’t know what to say — there’s nothing to say. She’s mortal—finite, dreadfully finite—and doesn’t even have the ability to comprehend what Isseya must be feeling.

And as an extremely empathetic person that’s not something she’s used to. It makes her fumble half-words; noises that definitely aren’t language.

Yet when she finally isn’t burning with shame enough to look at Isseya again she finds the vampire offering her a smile. A weary, dreary thing… but sometimes the thought behind a gesture is more important than the gesture itself.

“Take your time.”

So she does. Actually thinks about what she wants to say before she says it. Makes her wonder briefly what life would be like if she did that more often.

Finally, “Whatever you lost doesn’t sound little at all.”

“No, I suppose he wasn’t.” replies Isseya; makes Nadya go flush with surprise.

“Can I ask who…?”

“His name was Cynbel.”

“Oh. And he was…?”

“My lover, but that is not unlike saying the night sky is only what we see with our eyes.”

Nadya isn’t there to judge anyone. Still, she’s surprised. Hadn’t the other man — Valdas, that was his name — called her his ‘Priestess?’

“Did you, uhm,” she bites her lip, “I mean did you meet Valdas pretty soon after losing him?”

Not a second passes; Nadya almost misses Isseya’s expression change — darken, deepen.

“I forget not everyone is aware of our story, sometimes. Most hear us, our title — Trinity — and simply know. There was a time the word was banned in polite conversation lest it bring down the mood of a party or cause wistful waifs to wilt.

“I’ve forgotten now who coined the name. Cynbel might know… he was quite proud of it. He always cared about titles, you see. Not that it wasn’t apt. The three of us were always together; see one and the other two were not far behind. You know the saying ‘bad things come in threes?’ Probably derived from us.”

That’s when Nadya catches on, gives an “ooooh” of understanding.

“You, Valdas, and Cynbel. You were —”

“We three have a love that may very well burn longer than the stars above us. He used to say that. Loved us hard enough to make us believe it. When he passed it truly felt like the heavens would crumble down without all three of us to hold them up.”

She doesn’t ask what happened though the question burns through her against the cold night air. Maybe it’s something Kamilah can answer — she seems to know them enough. Though that reminds Nadya of their meeting and Adrian — and whatever happened last night.

“I’m sorry for your loss. For both of your losses.”

“Keep your grief. It’s all hollow in the end. We will always be in mourning; every second of every night we must live without him. Because indeed; we must live even if he is no longer with us.

That is the blood oath to which my god and I are bound.”

And doesn’t that make things take a turn for the weird. Makes Nadya have to school herself carefully even if Isseya can hear the change in her heartbeat. Who wouldn’t hear something like that and find it ominous, though? Like a seer’s omen.

Before she can make up some kind sympathy to offer Isseya reaches out — strokes the tip of her nail along the curve of Nadya’s jawline. Yes, it’s totally the night and my bare shoulders making me shiver, she tells herself, totally not whatever weird, semi-erotica is going on here…

“Apologize.”

Nadya blinks out of her stupor. “What?”

“Apologize, I said,” there’s a brief sting, she hardly even notices, but when Isseya pulls back her hand there’s a bead of blood on her fingertip, “for failing to placate me with your undesired grief.”

That’s more than enough. Only when she tries to move away there’s a hand wrapped around her throat that squeezes; takes the words right out of her mouth quite literally.

She didn’t even see the vampiress move. Not a blur or a flash of fang. She simply wasn’t and then she was. And everything in her eyes says Nadya is right to be terrified.

“Go on,” squeezing harder, bringing them so close she can smell Isseya’s honeysuckle breath, “apologize.”

Nadya fumbles around the words; moves her mouth with increasing frantic desperation when no sound, no air, not even a fleck of spittle wants to come out. I’m sorry — I’m sorry!

A tear rolls down her cheek, tickles the edge of her chin and makes her keen in a whimper as Isseya leans forward and flicks the tip of her tongue to catch it. When she pulls back that familiar red stare lurks in the woman’s eyes.

She lets go. Nadya fumbles, falls hard on her backside on the bridge with both hands around her neck like she’s trying to make sure all her skin is still there. She watches up in horror as Isseya licks her lips in satisfaction.

“Your apology is accepted… even if it was pitiful. I expect better from you next time.”

Next time isn’t so much spoken as felt like a breeze; the vampire gone between rapid and pounding beats of her heart. With all her dress it takes Nadya several attempts to collect herself, to scramble up and wipe away her tears and dash in a mad rush towards the castle.

Adrian, she needs to find Adrian.

Marcel’s a generous host — happy not only to help her find Adrian but to escort her around the castle himself. He’s a sweet boy, really, even if he’s old enough to be her great-great-great-many-greats grandfather. Somehow he’s managed to keep his childish sensibilities about him all these centuries.

It dissolves her fear a little. Makes it easier for Nadya to brush off his concern when he points out she keeps rubbing her neck. “I think I made a few mosquitoes pretty happy,” she jokes and all is well again.

He’s not upstairs in the apartment — “He mentioned he lost his key, I think?” — and they might be getting a little off-track when Marcel stops them in the conservatory to show her his collection of night-blooming flowers among what appears to be a cigar-and-whiskey party.

Then he snaps and there’s an invisible lightbulb over his head. Marcel grabs Nadya’s hand and takes off at full youthful speed down a staircase.

“Where are we going?!”

“I know where he is!”

Adrian’s favorite room in the castle is, apparently, the library. Only Marcel doesn’t give Nadya a chance to process her fear of the place before dragging her along inside.

The doors are open, velvet rope cast aside, and they aren’t the only ones milling about. It’s not just a library but an entire museum inside; she barely has time to glance at various glass cases and pedestals while Marcel’s hunt comes to a close.

She doesn’t mean to upset them both in the way she hurtles herself at Adrian, knocking him off balance for a brief moment before his arms come around her. Nadya’s grown used to not caring about the lack of body heat — the solid presence of Adrian is enough to calm her racing heart.

Marcel, however, notices.

“Mademoiselle Nadya… comment ça va?”

Even as her lingering fear subsides the look Nadya flashes up to Adrian tells him all he needs to know.

“I think she just got overwhelmed,” he tells Marcel, whose distress grows. He grabs Nadya’s hand in both of his and kisses her knuckles.

“I hate to know someone was unhappy at one of my parties…” He laments. It’s enough for the part of her so used to pleasing others to force on a smile and extricate herself from her friend to offer the little lord a tight hug.

“I’m having a wonderful time,” she says truthfully, “but Adrian’s right. Not knowing anyone just sort of got to me.”

“How can I ever make it up to you?”

“There’s nothing to make up!”

She holds him at arms’ length and together they smile. Like a miracle she watches his cheeriness return.

“Promettez-vous?”

Hopefully she’s understanding him from context. “I promise.”

She hates lying, even if it was necessary. When Marcel scampers off at the voice of someone he recognizes her smile falls away. Turns to Adrian with tears welling up in her eyes again.

He reaches and pulls Nadya into a tight hug. Kisses the top of her head and rubs his solid hands over her shivering shoulders. “What happened?”

The cliffnotes version makes her sound a little batty. When she struggles to continue, shuffling from foot to foot, Adrian silently coaxes them to continue his stroll through the library’s many objects on display. He’s gotten to know her habits really well, hasn’t he.

“So one minute she’s comforting me — and I guess vice versa — and then the next…” Nadya finishes by showing him the soft bruises on her neck; each in the perfect indent of Isseya’s fingertips. She’s just lucky the other woman hadn’t drawn blood, maybe.

Adrian’s scowl slackens; he pulls them into an alcove away from the immediate sight of others. Before Nadya can even ask what he’s doing Adrian’s fangs flash through his teeth and he pricks the pad of his right thumb.

“Who—wha—oi!” His arm around her keeps Nadya from moving away; he reaches out and smears the welling droplets of blood on her neck like that’s just something that totally happens every day for them. “Gross. Adrian — this is definitely not in my contract.”

Yes it makes him grin, and when he lets her go Nadya catches her reflection in a nearby silver shield. The dark smear of blood remains but the purpling bruises fade right before her eyes. “Oh.”

“Not only is it the least I can offer,” and the handkerchief he offers from his tailcoat breast pocket isn’t something she turns down, “but if Kamilah were to see that —”

She should have expected this. “Better to keep the peace.”

Adrian doesn’t say yes or no to it, but essentially — yes.

“I just don’t get why she changed so suddenly.” She also doesn’t get why Adrian apparently slept with her and Valdas, but that part she leaves out.

They resume walking together while Adrian thinks of a suitable answer.

“She told you about the Trinity, right?”

“That there’s supposed to be three but now it’s just her and the other guy?”

“Well, yes — that. But also why they are named — why they’re important enough to have a title like that.”

Together they leave the library stacks behind and venture through a smaller door into what appears to be a portrait hall. None of the paintings contain solo figures — but they all contain the same sort of classical beauty one would expect to find in world-renowned museums. She tries to place some of the faces — either to the guests she’s seen or what she remembers from her History gen-ed — but doesn’t linger on it.

“The Trinity are an incredibly old trio of vampires. Some would say the oldest around… but that’s not entirely the case.” Nadya wants to ask why he felt the need to play his own Devil’s advocate; instead chooses to let him continue as her eyes sweep over every frozen expression staring down at them.

“No one really knows when they were Turned. Kamilah told me once that they had centuries under their belts while she was still mortal.”

“Scary old vampires, got it. What’s the point?”

“Their age is the point, Nadya. Age is extremely important in what little universal culture we all share. It’s something deeper than just giving your elders respect. It proves an incredible strength, knowledge, in some cases a vast accumulation of wealth… and the cunning to have survived this long without getting killed. And trust me — there were plenty of chances for that to happen.

“The Trinity have always been. Like… how humans look at the pyramids or the Colosseum. And sure they’ve been under the radar for a while but even I remember a time when the very mention of them as a unit meant there was something awful coming on the horizon.”

Nadya stops them in front of a portrait of three. These faces she recognizes — two of them, anyway. The clothing is stiff; the subjects stiffer.

Isseya’s hair is longer but the way tendrils of black hang in her face makes Nadya remember the events of the garden with a shiver. She sits with grace, one hand resting on the lap of her ivory dress and the other lazily reaching upwards to clasp that of Valdas’ where he stands behind her. What the toga was hiding the pressed Victorian suit he’s immortalized in reveals. Somehow the artist managed to capture the almost predatory potential of power hidden in his cut figure.

The face she doesn’t know has taken a knee on the opposite side of Isseya’s chair. His fingers rest over hers just barely entwined. His face is young, strong. Blond hair pulled back in a tie that hangs over his shoulder is an almost feminine way.

Underneath the polished golden frame sits a plaque: ‘The Montes Estate,’ it reads, and below it the date 1876.

“Valdas, Isseya, and…”

“Cynbel.” Nadya finishes for him; draws a look of surprise from Adrian.

“Is that his name? I never knew.”

“Isseya told me. She really misses him.” Even if she’s missing a few screws.

“They both do. And I guess I get it. To be with the same person — the same people — for thousands of years. Only to lose one…”

As his voice trails off Nadya looks up. He, too, looks like the painting in his own way. He’ll look like this forever. Hopefully not as sad; not as weighed down by the way he tries to carry the world on his shoulders… but the same Adrian that stands at her side will probably stand over her grave.

Yikes. Morbid, much?

“I’m sorry.” He takes her hand and squeezes. “Because there’s nothing I can do.”

Nadya’s heart sinks. “About how she attacked me, you mean.”

“Yes. The Ball is a time of peace and, generally, everyone upholds to the rules. Except —”

“The rules don’t apply to the Trinity.” She guesses, but doesn’t get a gold star for being right. She’s not mad at him — not even disappointed. To be honest she hadn’t needed him to do something about it so much as just… be there.

And that is something Nadya knows he will always do. He’ll always be there.

They continue down the line of paintings. Nadya helps Adrian keep his mind off of what he considers his failure by asking him about the people, places, the moment in time that helps bring life to the canvas.

“Marcel’s in this one!” She gestures to one behind them where Marcel — younger of course but he doesn’t look it — in decorative and splendid golden armor. “He didn’t actually go to battle, right?”

“No, it was made for the portrait.” There’s a distant, misty look in Adrian’s eyes as he fixates on the taller figure behind their friend.

Nadya peers to read the plaque. “‘Monsieur Marcellus Claude Philippe Lafayette’ — what a mouthful — ‘and General Banner Westbrook VI.’ Banner… I’ve heard that name before.”

“The library was named in his honor. Marcel took his death hard. They… never really saw eye-to-eye, but it’s that same concept of spending lifetimes with the same person.”

But when she looks up to comfort him Nadya’s surprised to find him staring at the end of the room; at something mounted on the wall but hidden by shadow.

Adrian’s hand closes tighter on hers — takes Nadya a moment to realize he might not be aware of it. Tighter, tighter, until it’s pretty much impossible for her not to wince.

“Adrian. A—Adrian, you’re hurting me. Hey!”

A snap in his face pulls him out of whatever memory he’s trapped in. Makes him pliant as she pulls their hands apart. The redness fades quickly but there’s a lingering ache in her wrist that Nadya rubs slowly.

“I — I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. What about you?”

Before he can say anything Nadya steps around; makes her way to the last frame with her skirts in her hands. “Nadya — wait —” Adrian calls behind her. It doesn’t make her stop.

Only one painting hangs on the back wall. It’s also the only piece with one subject.

The man stands in grace, one foot forward; everything about his stance exuding not only confidence but command. Dark brown hair falls over his face and shoulders in perfect waves — the kind that would take hours to get these days. The artist captured details Nadya didn’t even consider possible; hairs at the crown of his forehead and pores in his perfect skin. Each individual chain link upon his conqueror’s armor.

She’s beholden with wonderment at the beauty of the man until the background comes to her attention. Feels her stomach churn when she sees the full moon behind his head actually appearing to pour moonlight down the canvas. Finds her trembling fingers covering a strangled sound she doesn’t immediately recognize as hers at the sight of faceless, naked corpses in a pile beneath the dais he prostrates upon.

Adrian’s hands come to weigh on her shoulders solemnly. Nadya tries to make the image go away; closes her eyes but it’s burned into the back of her eyelids like a brand. She wants to tear it to pieces, wants to shred the fibers strand by strand…

But somehow she just knows that even if the entire castle went up in flames this painting would remain untouched. Perfectly sanguine until the end of time.

“You know what’s really stupid?” asks Nadya wetly; takes Adrian’s handkerchief to dab at the tears at the corners of her eyes.

The painting’s presence draws Adrian to a whisper. “What’s that?”

She turns and tucks the cloth back into Adrian’s breast pocket. Brushes her hair out of her eyes with a sigh.

“I spent so much time on this stupid makeup and I keep crying.”

Adrian’s first reaction is poising himself to strike; ready to do what he can to make her feel better. It’s so wonderful and the image behind her is so awful that Nadya’s clashing emotions manage the only thing that makes sense: laughter.

Adrian first witnesses her, confused, before he offers his own little chuckle. It’s hollow and forced; when he thinks she isn’t looking she sees his gaze flicker to the monstrosity behind her and grow cold.

Wordlessly they leave the portrait room, then the library. Adrian offers a few polite waves to people unknown to Nadya; mentions something about getting back to the ballroom in enough time to see some performance.

She’s not really paying attention — no matter how hard she tries his words just grow fuzzy like television static. But that’s preferable to the voices echoing between her ears she tries desperately to pretend don’t exist.

“Rise, my Beloved Soldier. Rise and know your King has witnessed your loyalty to Him.”

“Thank you, my King. I am humbled.”

“My Beloved Soldier… my Beloved Adrian.”

Nadya’s at least mostly-percent sure that Kamilah has better things to think about than her tiny mortal self. Tells herself that when they find her back in the ballroom and Kamilah seems to be actively choosing to look everywhere but at her.

Until she notices the smallest smudge in Nadya’s makeup. Then Kamilah is on her, chilly hands cupping her cheeks and turning her head this way and that to examine her state.

“What. happened.” It takes Nadya a second to realize the growl is directed not at her but at Adrian. He silently shakes his head and offers a gentle touch to pry his companion off of her.

Still Kamilah persists; locks her eyes onto Nadya’s and when she speaks it’s soft yet somehow powerful enough to chase the unwanted voices from her mind.

“Are you unharmed?”

Nadya gives a shuddering exhale and nods. “Yeah, Kamilah. I’m fine. I — listen, about earlier —”

“Later.” Kamilah cuts her off curtly. Like she’s been replaced by a doppelgänger. It leaves Nadya feeling like an accessory as the vampires turn to confide in one another.

“Where have you been? You were the one who arranged this during the Ball — you couldn’t even bother to show up on time?”

Before Adrian can defend himself a figure starts towards them from the middle of a crowd. He may be dressed like every picture Nadya’s ever seen of Henry VIII but there’s no mistaking that greasy grin.

Lester claps a hand on Adrian’s shoulder. Squeezes until his knuckles are white and Nadya flinches out of sympathy.

“There you are, Raines my boy,” he practically sneers, “and here we were worried you had better things to do.”

Kamilah says nothing. Adrian pries Lester’s hand from his person.

“I was occupied elsewhere.”

None of them miss how Lester’s eyes travel to Nadya; look her up and down and linger on her chest. She’s starting to consider that his typical form of greeting.

The other vampire snorts. “I bet you were. But you were the one who wanted to ruin a good party with Council business, so let’s get it over with shall we?”

Lester waves two fingers — draws their attention to the others approaching.

Vega’s black suit and red tie somehow don’t do anything for his charming smile but it’s the sight of the Baron’s curled upper lip that sends a whip of panic through Nadya. Make her take a step closer to Kamilah out of some subconscious need to hide behind her dress.

Beside them strides sex on legs; thick waves of hair cascading down her shoulders and the sheer material of her dress catching the lights just enough to see the lingerie beneath.

If anyone’s wing-tip eyeliner could actually stab a man it would be hers: Priya Lacroix.

“I had to turn down a Bulge Magazine sandwich for this shit,” the designer snaps, “so let’s get it the fuck over with before I lose my appetite.”

The Baron fixates on Nadya with a growl.

“Funny. You look just like a cunt I locked up.”

She is so over crying tonight.

“Yeah, well, go screw yourself.”

“Me~ow!” Priya pushes the Baron aside carelessly, ignores the glare he shoots her way, and pulls Nadya out from behind Kamilah to appraise her properly.

“I know I complained about having to make you something at the last minute Adrian… but I take it back. She looks positively yummy.”

Before Priya can even show her fangs she’s moved aside. Kamilah takes the initiative this time to protect Nadya on her own. If she plans on arguing the thought is dashed the moment Priya looks into the older vampire’s eyes. Doesn’t stop her from giving a petulant huff.

“Whatever…”

Vega, however, ignores Nadya’s presence entirely.

“The point stands. We ought to take advantage of this opportunity to discuss certain Council matters.”

“Must it be now?” Adrian asks tersely. The look on Vega’s face says it all. “Fine. But not here.”

Vega agrees. “I’ve already cleared out a parlor for us. Come along.”

Just as Adrian shakes off his fellow Council member’s grasp there’s a scream somewhere at the far end of the ballroom. Loud enough to cause a distraction and awful enough that the Council gathered actually looks towards the commotion.

The orchestra stops mid-chord as a chorus of cries and noises of distress begin to sound. The dance floor empties in the blink of an eye as the dancing vampires rush away from something.

“Stay here.” Kamilah hisses. She and Adrian push the others aside in an attempt to help. Against her wishes Nadya slips out of the uncomfortable presence of the other vampires and around the crowd to edge closer.

A young woman lies, collapsed and prone, in the middle of the floor. She’s seizing; convulses on her stomach. The foul smell of rot fills the fragrant air.

Then the face twitches around and Nadya recognizes her in horror.

“Megan!”

At the same time that Nadya pushes her way forward two familiar faces break away from the crowd opposite. Brandon fumbles and skids on his knees to his twin’s side while Greer kneels behind him, mortified.

Nadya’s skirts billow around her as she ignores Adrian’s distant cry of “Nadya, no!” and brushes Megan’s hair away from her clammy features.

Her skin is greying; veins growing black under Brandon’s touch.

“Meg—Meggie what’s wrong? What’s happening?” He hauls his sister’s head into his lap. That’s when Nadya catches sight of a violent bite mark on her shoulder. It oozes puss and black ichor. Megan tries and fails to respond when she starts foaming at the mouth.

Greer looks around with wild eyes.

“Help! Is someone gonna fuckin’ help her?! What the fuck!”

Nadya fumbles in a panic. Doesn’t know what to do, ends up looking to where Adrian and Kamilah are keeping a very purposeful distance.

“Help her!” She surprises herself by screaming. Adrian moves to step forward but Kamilah jerks him back almost violently.

“Don’t you dare.” The woman seethes — and Nadya grows feverish with panic when she watches Kamilah look upon Megan and Brandon with an expression foreign to her face.

“Kamilah —”

“Adrian Raines, I forbid it.”

“What?!” Brandon tries to hold Megan’s head still, tries to hold her jaw open as her fangs grow and warp before his eyes, “Why won’t you help?!”

Adrian stays put but reaches out; beckons Nadya away.

“Nadya, please. Please get over here.”

“No! Not until you help her!” I can’t believe I’m seeing this.

“She’s beyond help now!” shouts Kamilah. She draws the attention of the entire Ball — takes a deep breath and steels herself to push down an emotion Nadya didn’t think she was capable of.

Fear.

“Nadya — for Christ’s sakes.” He grabs her in a blur and Nadya finds herself wrapped in his arms.

All around vampires and mortals stand and resign themselves to witness as Megan’s seizures increase. As her skin grows dark and chalky and Greer yanks back Brandon when he fails to hold her down.

“What’s happening?” Nadya gasps. Adrian clutches her tighter and his words flood ice through her veins.

“She’s Turning Feral.”

[whats-the-story-tc]

4th of February, 2020

"The One with Aphrodite and the Tempest"

[LONG POST WARNING]

You know it's cold outside when V wears a sweater. I swear this woman owns only 3 types of upper body clothing — flannel, striped or something with cats on it, with the occasional something grey.

First time I spotted her before Physics, she was crossing the "bridge" with the relentlessness of a warrior. Here's to another cheery day at school, I thought. I was already tired and half asleep by then and it wasn't even 10 AM yet. Pocketwatch Friend told me to hold on, as we only had 3 more classes left, "two of which you'll enjoy." I don't think I need to specify that one.

Rumours spiralled that, even though we were having double Literature today, V would have us write a previously promised Grammar test. We all started studying in a complete state of panic. What we didn't expect is that, indeed, she was going to quiz us—but in spoken word instead, by the usual rolling of her magic geek dice.

There's this competition between a girl and a boy. He jokingly claims he is better than her at everything, she challenges him. Whichever one of them has better grades at the end of the year wins. V is an absolute fan of this competition, and is pretty vocal about her support for the girl. She was V's first victim today, and when she failed to answer her questions, V, shoulder leaning against the wall, smiles and asks her "How are you gonna win this competition then, babydoll?" Haven't heard her use this pet name for any of us in a hot minute. We're usually fairies or kittens lately. (Pet naming children as a teacher is a thing here folks, don't get alarmed. Our homeroom teacher, for example, calls us her darlings all the time.) Now that I think about it, I don't think she ever called me personally any of these. The day she does is probably the day I die.

Next one up was Know-It-All, who, contrary to his pseudonym, knew fuck all about romanticism, and basically bullshitted his every answer very stupidly, having us all in a laughing fit during those ten minutes he was in the spotlight for. The faces V made were the best, I swear. She tried so hard to be polite and not to say what she thinks, and, in the process, looked at me every half a minute or so like a cry for help. Pocketwatch Friend, who also noticed it and thought it interesting, later explained it as "You're the one who's a bit higher up the intelligence scale out of all of us, of course she looks at you. And you're the one who talks to her." I don't think I was of much help, though. I was giggling the entire time. Especially when V admitted "I have no idea what's going on."

Her third and last victim was Bandana Friend's best friend, and the entire time she listened to her, V was sat in her chair, leaning back, legs crossed, absentmindedly chewing on her pen/holding it to her lips in concentration. When I tell you I could barely keep my calm, I mean it. I'm more attracted to her personality and wit than I am to her visually, but like... holy shit, you guys. The situation only worsened when she started writing on the blackboard, left hand in her back pocket... Thank God she wore a sweater. Were I exposed to that waist of hers, I don't think I'd still be alive to tell the story. "Take your hand out of your pocket," I muttered in agony, through gritted teeth as I watched her. Pocketwatch Friend had a lot of fun at my expense.

We read Edgar Allan Poe's The Masque of the Red Death today, featuring the character of Prince Prospero. V, sitting on top of her desk as she always does, asked us if that name was familiar, and left us a little time to think. Then she looks straight at me with her usual looking-at-me expression and just waits in silence. I'm panicking and probably going red in the face under that gaze that was simply too close, and, with a hand on my chest, nervously asked her "Me? Why are you looking at me?". You guys. Eyes are the first thing I usually notice in a person, the one thing I am a sucker for. And this woman has eyes to live and to die for, unparalleled by anything of this Earth and beyond. Under eyes like that, I think anyone would've struggled to form coherent thoughts. I think I know what Sappho felt when she wrote Fragment 31. As she went on to explain, she was looking at me because there is a character with the same name in Shakespeare's The Tempest. She still associates me with him, it seems. Oh, the nostalgia. Fun fact, Hamlet was the topic of our very first conversation out of class back in October 2018.

In the lunch break, I vented to my friends how I can never really impress her, no matter how hard I try. She and I both know what I know, it just frustrates me that no matter how precise and fancy I get, even then I fuck things up, or miss my chance and I can never surprise her. Turns out I was boo boo the fool. Again.

In The Masque of the Red Death, there's this ongoing motif with the clock striking, which symbolises the coming of Death. As V was talking about this, and how it frightened the guests of the masquerade, I said "I guess you could say their clock was ticking." And what do I know, she not only calls it good, but when I looked at the blackboard, she actually included it in the analysis notes! I said something useful. I was absolutely over the moon.

The Boys in the Back, in their usual mood yet again, were talking non-stop. As I looked at the annoyed V, I could read "for fuck's sake" off her lips before she told them off. Goodbye, V the professional, hello, V the civilian. I had a good laugh.

I don't know how partying came up in conversation, but Blonde Boy in the Back asked V: "Miss, do you go clubbing sometimes?", to which she answered "I'm too old for that". You are still a bloody millenial, dear, stop acting like you're sixty. But, on the topic of old ladies, when we spoke grotesque, scary and bizarre, she brought up having a room full of porcelain dolls or an old lady with a house full of cats, who looks cute on the outside but is quite creepy, I immediately went "Umbridge". At first, I didn't think she heard me, but a few seconds later, she tied what I said into what she was going to say. I feel valid.

Today, we had some rain and incredibly strong winds. "There were many individuals in the crowd who had found leisure to become aware of the presence of a masked figure which had arrested the attention of no single individual before." As a girl from my class was reading these lines, another strong gust of wind came with a whistling sound, making the windows tremble and everyone went silent. "I think it just arrived." I said immediately. Another strong blow. "[Name], I think you conjured it." I said, and looked at V, leaning over her book, trying not to react, but I think I might have seen the faintest smile run across her face.

Towards the end of the lesson, V told the gang in the back to pass notes instead of talking, to which I said "old school", and she did that thing again where she repeated what I said. Then cats came up once again, I think it was Debate Friend saying that a cat staring at a wall for an hour is creepy. "Cats will stare at a wall for an hour anyway cuz cats are crazy." V said, without missing a beat. I'll have you reminded that V owns a cat herself. And, apparently, a Netflix account, as she mentioned having seen Episode 1 of Moffat's Dracula with the boyfriend yesterday. May I just say... couple goals.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]