#the one i wanted was NONEXISTENT so i just found one that matched the vibes kinda

[catghoul31]

Veteran's Day

It's almost completely dark out, and Logan insists on a car ride with Wade to the park... even though the park is completely closed. Whatever could he be up to?

For @poolverine-week day 3: Road Trip!

No CWs this time, just canon-typical stuff

Read it under the cut or on ao3!

Wade had no idea what Logan was doing. He’d insisted they got in the car that evening, and Logan was driving them somewhere- but where?

The expression on Logan’s face was impossible to read, even for Wade. That same focused scowl he had on when whatever he was doing wasn’t anyone’s business- but it was his business, because for all he knew, he could be heading for a pit of lava to chuck Wade into once and for all! Had he really been that mad that he’d broken the sink by slamming his head against it again?

…He didn’t seem that angry when they’d gotten them both in the car, though. Silent and mysterious? Oh, like always! Logan wouldn’t be Logan without that broody exterior all the middle-aged women fawned over- but he hadn’t indicated that he’d done anything wrong at all. Hell, Wolvie was usually the first to tell him if he did!

Still, the thought did nothing to calm Wade’s racing heart. Nobody ever just insisted on taking Wade out somewhere alone with them because they liked him at all… Almost every single time since he’d lost Vanessa, stuff like this only ever happened when somebody really wanted his head- and not in the fun way! 

So why would Logan be any different??

Once his eyes had adjusted to the dark a bit more, Wade looked out the window, trying to distract himself from the tense silence that had settled over them. He realized, then, that these roads weren’t as unfamiliar as he thought. It sorta seemed like he was taking them to that park they’d already been to a few times… It was large enough that they could wander off deep into the forest and safely spar without horribly traumatizing any poor souls! Something about fighting with each other had become so thrilling for them, and there was almost no malice inspiring their fights anymore… and no matter how far out they wandered, Logan always seemed to know the way out.

But the park was closed right now!! It was Veteran’s Day or some shit, and that made the government decide that nobody could enjoy nature on their day off for some fucking reason- so no, this didn’t solve Wade’s great mystery!

Once they made it into the parking lot- or more accurately, just up against the closed gate that kept them from actually driving into the parking lot, Wade gave Logan a few seconds to tell him what he was doing- or, y’know, turn around because the park was closed, so he wasn’t getting any walkies today- sorry, peanut!

A few seconds passed, and Logan didn’t speak, nor did he turn the car around. Those seconds became minutes, and- oh, fuck this, Wade was starting to get really impatient with the lack of quotation marks in this story. “Soooo… what’s going on here? A reverse kidnapping?? Not that I don’t probably deserve that- but you kinda just shoved me into this car without telling me anything and I wanna know if you called another guy here to help you, so that maybe I can prepare my-“

“Shut the fuck up, Wade.”

Logan’s harsh snarl made him shut up, and he winced as he prepared for the inevitable clawing- but none came. Wade opened his eyes, only to see Logan glance at the hands in his lap pensively. They were clenched in fists, and his brows were furrowed in what Wade thought was… guilt? Great, now Wade was worrying about this fuzzy bastard while they were sitting in dead silence! He shifted a bit in his chair, uncomfortable with the complete lack of stimulation here. If Logan didn’t hurry up and say something, he swore to God he was gonna pull out his phone and start watching Family Guy funny moments right in front of him!!

Logan took a deep breath, letting it out as a loud, frustrated growl before forcefully burying his face in his hands. Wade tilted his head innocently, having no clue what he could’ve done to bring about this reaction in Logan, but wanting to act like it was his fault anyways. Anything to live in Wolvie’s head rent-free, baby!

“…Fuck. What the fuck is wrong with me,” Logan muttered in that wonderfully pathetic tone of his. The one he always liked using when he really wanted something, but didn’t want to admit it because ohh I’m so awful, I don’t deserve nice things!! Needless to say, Wade was thoroughly interested now…

“I don’t know, Wolvie. What the fuck is wrong with you? You gotta help me out here, peanut,” he responded, not at all reacting to the glare that earned him. Logan’s claws even poked out a little at that one!! The same way they had at that bar he’d found him in… God, he was such a cutie pie. Still weird as hell right now, though!!

Logan sighed heavily, lowering his hands as a drop of blood trailed between his knuckles. Retracting his claws, he pointedly glanced at Wade, his pupils unmoving as he stared directly at his eyes. They were on him, he promised!! “…I don’t know what’s gotten into me, bub. But I can’t… fuck- I can’t live with myself without at least trying to tell you this,” he began, breaking eye contact with Wade as his nerves seemed to overtake him. “I just… I need to apologize, first.”

…Wait, what? Logan?? Apologize?? To… me? For what??? “Wh… I-I don’t know why you’d need to apologize- unless you forgot the park was closed, in which case-“ 

“WADE.” Logan shouted, forcing his face to look at him with one hand. “Mouth shut. Eyes on me. Fucking listen.”

Oh. Uhm… yes, Daddy? Wade definitely wasn’t blushing at all. But, of course, he did exactly what he was told, because Logan was nice enough to give him very clear directions… On a side note, he still had no idea what ADHD meant. Not that that had anything to do with this.

Logan took a deep, deep breath, before finally speaking his goddamn truth. 

“…I don’t know why you’d decide to keep me here. After I tried to kill you god knows how many times. After I lied about how worthless you were in that fucking car.” Lied? Since when? “After I… nearly made the same mistake that killed my family with you. And Laura, and those other people, whoever the fuck they were. God damn it, I was so drunk I can’t even remember,” he interjected, sadly chuckling in that heartbreakingly lovely way that made Wade just want to compress him into a cube and hold him tenderly. This was definitely a normal way of thinking about your friend, right?

“…But it doesn’t matter. I wanted to abandon you so badly, when… when you were the first person to think I was anything but the awful man I am in God knows how long.” But… but he wasn’t awful!! And he didn’t abandon him!! Wade already had so much to say, but Logan needed him to listen, so that’s what he’d do. “I still don’t know why you think that… but I guess I’m here now. And, just… fuck. Wade… I- god, I can’t fucking- you’re… you’re the closest friend I think I’ve ever had. Any moment I spend away from you now makes me want to throw up and I don’t know why. I’m…” Ohh no. Wolvie’s eyes were getting a little shimmery now… Wade internally began to panic, having no fucking idea if he’d help Logan at all by just being here. Was he secretly making it worse?? He was, wasn’t he, maybe he should just wander off into the woods and die-

“I’m sorry, Wade. You’re not… I mean, I know you can’t, but-“ He coughed a bit, one stray tear escaping his eye. “-you’re not gonna die alone. And I shouldn’t have brought your ex into that spiel of mine, either- but it’s even more proof that… Wade. I don’t fucking deserve this…” Was it just Wade, or was Logan’s face a lot closer to his than it was earlier? And… why did he look so handsome right now? See, normally, that’d be a joke. And maybe Wade should just act like it was. Him and his silly cancer brain!! 

“I don’t deserve this world, or your apartment or that fucking dog, but I need it. I need it, and…” For a minute, Wade considered looking around for a paper bag in here. Logan was breathing pretty hard, and- shit, was he crying?? 

“…I need you. So please, just… Tell me you don’t need me right now, bub. Don’t make this harder than it has to be- I can’t… if I’m with you here a moment longer, I won’t be able to survive a world without you anymore. If… if you don’t want me around for that long, I’ll drive us to the TVA right now, and you can tell them to send me back. I don’t care, I just-“

Wade’s lips were on his before Logan could say another word.

…Yeah. If that comment about Logan being handsome earlier was funny, Wade’s reflexes decided to be fucking hilarious and just make him… do that. He lingered for maybe a few seconds- way longer than he probably should’ve- and pulled away much slower than he definitely should’ve. Something about that just… lit Wade’s soul on fire. As cheesy as that set of words sounded.

That being thought, Wade knew that the claws were gonna come out soon, so he might as well get the ukulele out while he still could. “…Logan, I am so fucking sorry, I don’t know what came over me-“

SNIKT. Ahh, there it was! Wade let out a shriek of agony when Logan stabbed him right through the chest. God, that look on his face was intense- quickly, Wade tensed all of his muscles, completely ready for a second round of fighting in a car with Logan alone in the dark by themselves-

-but then Logan- Logan KISSED HIM BACK?? Wade’s brain immediately shut down, unable to come up with any more witty commentary to add to this story. He whined, his hands grabbing Logan’s neck and pulling him closer without him even noticing. This one was longer, deeper, and Logan groaned into it as his body seemed to melt into Wade’s. Their tongues even began to slide against each other after a while, sending Wade to another dimension entirely- one where there didn’t have to be any baggage holding them back from just doing this all the time. Just showing each other love in the most wholesome or filthy ways they could think of. Holy fuck, it felt nice…

After what felt like forever to Wade, Logan pulled back, his eyes blown wide in shock just as his were. They seemed almost unwilling to believe what had just happened, even though his claws were still embedded into Wade’s chest, not planning on letting go anytime soon.

Some fucked up part of Wade didn’t want him to. Just wanted to keep those sharp adamantium blades inside of him forever. 

After a moment of neither Wade nor Logan making any moves, just staring at each other as their breaths mingled, Wade finally spoke up. “…That answer your question, peanut?” he asked, smirking slightly. Looks like Deadpool’s still got it, huh?

Logan shuddered slightly, before his claws forced themselves out of Wade as they retracted. He took a moment to scan Wade up and down, still trying to verify that this was even real. Almost imperceptibly, he nodded- nodded at Wade, over what he’d said holy fuck?? Yeah, this was happening, okay- before taking his seatbelt off, scooting closer to Wade, and…

Needless to say, they had their third kiss. And their fourth. And fifth. And however many more before they even thought about driving back home. Because fuck public indecency laws, they needed each other right now. As badly as a pair of horny college students did. Wade knew one thing for sure- the trees sure got a fucking show that night!!

[biting-miguel-ohara]

T-Shirts - Wade Wilson x ftm!Reader

A/N: I had so much fun writing this. I really hope Wade’s personality is in-character. I tried to keep the silly goofy vibes he has along with the pet names, but it’s been a while since I saw a Deadpool movie other than DP&W

Fic is written for this request

CW: Pet names; Reader is called baby boy, baby, and handsome; mentions of stabbing and murder; light fluff; suggestive content; explicit sexual content; smut; this is really just sex with a little bit of buildup; Wade is implied to be physically bigger than Reader; mild implied possession kink; Wade wears lingerie; sloppy kisses; AFAB Reader but their parts are called dick and hole; Reader’s arousal is described as slick; Wade eats the Reader out; overstimulation; multiple orgasms; fingering; PIV sex; unprotected sex; crying during sex; rough sex; Reader bites Wade hard enough to bleed; Wade cums inside Reader; Wade uses his fingers to keep the cum inside; aftercare; implied round two; snuggling

1730 words

“Oh, baby boy!” Wade’s voice rings out as he kicks open the door to your shared apartment.

You look up, smiling. “Hi, Wade.”

He waltzes over to you and plops himself down next to you on the couch. “Whatcha watchin’?”

You gesture at the TV, but can tell he’s only asking to be nice. “Just some show. How was your day?”

“Oh,” he rests his head against your shoulder. “Full of stabbing and murder. The usual.”

You wait, sensing some sort of dramatic pause in his manner.

“And I got us a present!”

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? What sort of present?”

You know to be a little cautious. Wade’s presents have ranged from a sweet set of guns to a teacup pig you had to return to its owner.

But this time, Wade’s glee seems oddly more enthusiastic than usual. “I bought us matching shirts.”

You laugh. “Matching shirts?”

He nods and leaps up from the couch. He rummages in his bag by the door before plopping back down next to you. “See?”

He holds up the first shirt. “I had to hunt all over town for the shop, but I finally found them today!”

You laugh. You can’t help yourself. It’s not mean laughter, but actual, genuine laughter. You’re touched, in a way.

“Oh, Wade.” You read the shirt aloud. “‘I love my trans boyfriend.’ That’s so sweet!”

“And look at yours!” He holds up the other shirt.

“‘I love my smoking hot boyfriend.’” You nod, grinning at the cheesy decal. “I’m gonna wear it to the next family meeting.”

Wade gasps and clutches his shirt to his chest. “I’ll never be able to focus. Oh, you’re a sneaky one.”

You laugh and reach out to lift up his mask. You kiss his scarred cheek. “How ‘bout I go try it on, hmm? You wear yours… and I’ll wear mine…”

He clearly doesn’t miss the suggestive tone of your voice as he hops right up. “Yup! Let’s do that! I’ll just—“

He practically sprints for the bedroom and you grin. You can hear him banging around against the dresser, probably looking for some cute lingerie or something. You let him do his thing in peace, curious about what he’s gonna come out wearing.

You strip to your boxers and put on the shirt. It hangs big on you, which makes you smirk.

You used to think he just couldn’t remember your size, but now you know better. He does it on purpose, as he likes to pretend it’s his clothes you’re wearing. Some roundabout possession kink or something.

You can’t blame him. Hell, you let him do it. It makes you feel wanted, in some odd way.

You think about that for a moment, as you move to sit on the couch again. You quickly reach the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter, as you wouldn’t be dating Wade without a few quirks of your own.

Like his cute little saying about matching crazy. You don’t know if you match his level of insane, but you definitely match his level of horny.

So when he comes out of the bedroom with a literal bang of the door, you ogle him in amazement. He’s wearing the shirt and the hottest pair of red panties you’ve ever seen. They’re lacy, they’re silky, and they’re practically nonexistent.

Your mouth waters immediately. “I wanna suck you off.”

Wade groans, his cock visibly twitching in the panties. “Baby boy, I want that more than anything. But I made a promise to myself and I intend to keep it.”

You rest your chin on the back of the couch. “What promise?”

He walks over to you, lifting your head and planting one of the sloppiest kisses you’ve ever had right on your lips. You kiss him back with equal fervor, licking into his mouth with glee.

He pulls back from the kiss with a gasp, gazing at you with such adoration it makes your face heat.

“I promised I’d worship you, baby.” He cups your face in his hands, planting a kiss on your forehead. “Worship that sweet dick of yours.”

You can feel yourself get wetter. Can feel the slick soaking through your boxers, making them stick to your legs. “Fuck, Wade.”

“That’s the plan, baby boy.” He grins at you. “I’m gonna eat you out so good you’re seeing stars, and then I’m gonna fuck you till you can’t walk in the morning.”

“Promise?” You’re almost giddy with excitement. You and Wade fuck like rabbits almost every single day, and yet it still gets you excited every time.

“Promise. Now, come here. I wanna give that sweet mouth of yours some love.”

He practically topples over the couch as he leans in to kiss you. And you? You let yourself be squashed by him. Anything to keep his lips on yours and his hands roaming your body.

You moan into the kiss, arching your hips up against his. His hand snakes down to your boxers, stroking over the damp fabric.

“Aww, look at you,” he coos, “So wet for me. I bet you’re absolutely soaking.”

You whimper and press into his touch. His mouth lodges against yours again as his fingers dip below your waistband.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans, as his scarred fingers meet the pool of slick between your legs. He circles your dick, making you gasp and squirm beneath him.

“Wade! Wade, oh my god! Yes, just like that!”

“Yeah?” He nudges a finger against your hole. “Like this?”

You moan. Bucking into his touch, clenching around nothing. “Please, Wade…!”

“Ah, ah, ah,” he pulls his hand away. Bringing it up to his mouth to suck his fingers clean. He groans at the taste. “Fuck, baby. I love you so much right now. All needy and desperate and—“

He cuts himself off, sliding off the couch to kneel between your legs. He grips the damp fabric of your boxers, easily tearing them apart. You whimper, clenching at both the sight and at the breath of air against your dick.

“Oh, damn,” Wade breathes. He reaches out, tracing his fingertips over your slick skin. “Baby boy, I am going to feast on you.”

You grab a couch cushion, already preparing yourself. It always takes you by surprise, though. His first lick against you.

You squeeze the life out of the couch cushion, moaning and gasping as Wade laps at you. He sucks on your dick, groaning as you soak his chin with slick.

“Gonna make you cum on my tongue,” he mutters against you. “Then on my fingers. And then I’ll let you have my dick.”

You whimper. He smirks and goes back to eating you out.

You cum on his tongue twice. Right in a row, unable to help yourself.

When he slides his fingers into your dripping hole, you scream into the couch cushion. He pumps them inside you, curling them just right to hit that sweet spot.

You cum seeing stars. Once, twice again,

Your body is twitchy, wracked with shudders when he finally pulls out his dick. He rubs it against you, coating it thoroughly in your slick and cum.

“You want this, baby?” He coos. “You want my thick cock?”

“Yes!” You bury your face in the couch cushion, mostly to hide the tears building in your eyes. It’s going to be too much. But you need it. You need him. More than anything else on the planet. “Please!”

Wade chuckles and notches the tip of his dick against your hole. “How badly do you want it?”

“So bad!” You rock forward against him, but he grips your hips.

“Oh, no,” he smirks. “Don’t be greedy. You’ll take what I give you, won’t you?”

“Please!” You beg. “Please, Wade, just put it in!”

“Alright, alright. Since you asked so nicely.”

In one fluid movement, he snaps his hips forward, burying himself inside you all the way.

You sob at the stretch, cumming immediately. You’re so sensitive. So achy and needy. Your poor dick so delicious sore.

Wade groans. Loudly. “Fuuuuuck! Keep that up and I won’t be able to last!”

You both know it’s a lie, he can go as long as he wants. But your sex-dumbed brain can only think of one thing. More pleasure.

You fuck yourself on him, arching and rocking your hips against his. He’s so deep inside you, you’re sure you could feel a bump in your stomach if you tried. It’s too much, exhaustion creeping up your spine.

Your movements get sloppy, more like needy grinding than fucking. You’re really crying now, tears flowing freely down your face and staining the cushion in your arms.

“Aww,” Wade coos. “Look at you. I wish I had a camera to take a picture. You’re perfect like this, you know.”

You just moan weakly. Thankfully he seems to get the memo. He grips your hips tightly and begins to fuck you roughly. Harsh, desperate thrusts. Heavy panting and sloppy kisses.

You abandon your cushion in favor of gripping his face as you kiss him.

“Please, please, please,” you beg.

He gasps and groans, fucking harder into you. “Oh, yeah, baby. This is it. You ready for this, handsome?”

You bite his lower lip in response, hard enough to make him bleed.

With a low curse, Wade slams his hips against yours, cumming deep inside you. You moan, slumping back against the couch. You feel full, weak in all the best ways.

He slowly pulls out, stuffing your hole with his fingers to keep his cum from spilling out. “You alright, baby boy?”

You just whine in response. Your limbs feel like lead, your eyelids drooping.

“Yeah, me too.” Wade chuckles. He gently scoops you up, carrying you in his arms. He heads into the bathroom, turning on the tub.

“You did so good,” he coos, pulling off your shirt and setting you in the water. “Was that five or six orgasms?”

You rest your head against his chest, voice slurred and sleepy. “Five, I think…”

“Damn. We’ll get one more next time.” He presses a kiss to your head. “Now sit up for a moment. I wanna get in too.”

You do a lazy round two in the bathtub before passing out on the bed.

Your last thought, all warm and snuggled up with your boyfriend? You wouldn’t trade him for the world.

[xzinbdg]

YO WHAT?

- ur so pretty

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏ/ɴ ᴍᴏᴠᴇꜱ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛᴀᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴏɴ ʜᴇʀ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ꜱʜᴇ ɪꜱ ᴡᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴜᴘ ʙʏ ʟᴏᴜᴅ ᴀꜱꜱ ɢᴜɪᴛᴀʀ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴅᴏᴏʀ.

written part: 763 words.

warning: some people may find topics said here a bit unpleasant.

it felt kinds surreal to you that right now in this moment you're getting ready for a dinner and potentially a heart spilling session with your neighbor wonbin that not that long ago was your biggest enemy. nonetheless you all ready actually go to his door which is like 3 steps away from yours and knock. it takes less then 3 seconds for you to hear footsteps to the door.

"hi" says wonbin and just looking at him this close and hearing his voice makes your heart do a full flip and leave that weird tingle in your stomach. "hi" you reply visibly red. "come in, make yourself at home" he moves slightly to let you come in. to be honest his apartment is what you imagined it to be. it's very clean and organized but at the same time gives off that almost angsty teenager vibe. you can tell that he's into music just from one look. "i'm not done with the cooking yet, so you can just chill whenever you want to" he says giving you a slight smile. "okay would here be okay?" you pointed at his kitchen island with high chairs. "sure, you wanna watch me cook?" he said with a cocky smile. "wanna make sure you don't poison me" you match the energy and wonbin just laughs, he goes to the kitchen to continue cooking and you sit by the counter. you're only seeing his back but that doesn't stop you from admiring him and just how attractive his whole being is. "so.." he starts still focusing on cooking "wanna talk about your shitty day?" you're snapped back to reality "huh..oh sure" he turns to you "start whenever you're ready, i'm here to listen" with that he gives you a reassuring smile and turns back to cooking. " okay so...i will start from the beginning..." you start and he hums in response letting you know that he's listening. "back in school i met this guy, he was one of the popular guys in school and almost everyone and they're mom knew him. i wasn't all that so i didn't think we would ever have the chance to talk, that's until we were paired up for a project. he didn't slack off how i thought he would because you know popular guy and all. we finished the project with me having feelings for him. obviously i thought that we would not talk after the project was over but surprisingly he still talked to me almost everyday at school. that led to him texting me and us meeting outside of school and that led to us dating. he was an amazing boyfriend at the start..." "that's until he wasn't huh?" wonbin said. "yea, after about a year and a half of us being together i found out that he was seeing another girl for almost our whole relationship." you let out a sigh. "what a shit stain" wonbin scoffed which made you give out a little laugh. "now I can agree but me then thought the fault is mine. i decided to talk to him about it and what I heard broke me. he said that he was with me because of a bet, that he would never be with someone like me. he said that i'm the ugliest girl he ever saw and that im so boring it actually makes him sad. he also said that he didn't cheat because he never liked me to begin with and our relationship was fake. it might have been to him but to me everything was real, it hurt so much to see what i thought was my love act this way and think of me like that. it made me feel like i was nothing, my self esteem was nonexistent. it took years to build it up again. i still have scars from him though, everytime i find someone i like i hear his words in my head and fear that the person i like will be like him." wonbin turned to face you. " is that why you had a shitty day? do you like someone?" this made you a bit nervous because the person you like is in front of you. " maybe? im not sure yet..." wonbin smiled now giving you a plate with pasta and chicken. "thank you for trusting me with this, i'm basically a stranger to you but know that you can always turn to me if you need something, i'm only a door away." this made you giggle. "and also know that you're so pretty and unique that you don't have to worry about that assholes words, he doesn't know what he lost." now you started to blush. "t-thank you for listening and for the compliment." you said now taking a bite of wonbins cooking. you let out a surprised gasp at the taste. "do you like it?" the curious boy asked. " this is amazing wonbin!" he let out a laugh at your surprised face. " I'm glad you like it."

previous ✮ next ✮ masterlist

a/n: andddd we have our "villans" they might be important or might not be important 🤭 wonbin very much falling 🤧

genre: smau, crack, strangers to enemies to lovers, boy next door!wonbin, neighbors, band au

pairing: guitarist!wonbin x reader

taglist: @p-d1ddy @wiggledingle @pxnklover @pinklemonade34 @cherrytaesan @soheendo @jiaisfox @i03jae @yoonyunsoob @wonychu @nujeskz

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

headcannon for all the batfam members

there’s so many.

Helena Wayne

she’s currently nonexistent in the comics, but she’s the daughter of Bruce and Selena. I’m going to put her age as like near Damien’s age as in 10 or 11, let Helena exist she’s cool.

Helena and Damien constantly squabble, but they are pretty close. Jason taught her how to use a bow, because he’s actually a really good marksman and wanted his little sister to you know not be completely useless in a fight. Dick and Tim kinda don’t know what to do, because she just kinda doesn’t like them as much. But they practice gymnastics together and Tim is trying to teach her coding she does not understand it.

She also was taught loads of skills by Selena who is beyond proud of her, yes Selena may be retired from the theft business but she still helps Bruce all the time with break-ins and stuff.

Bizzarro

He’s here, he’s 100% Jason’s adopted son.

He would literally cry if anything happened to him, everyone is incredibly confused by who the fuck this guy is (I’m taking from current cannon and making him a Superman clone) Jason does not explain.

he rocks up to dinner one day with this guy and everyone is fucking confused, Jason stares at them and they all eat together like every Thursday night.

Conner and bizzarro hit it off and become good brothers, since they were both force grown to their age and Luther is their father. Eventually Superman/clark meets bizarro and is like “who the fuck are you�� Jason also is there and stares at him and makes sure he plays nice.

Bizzaro helps out in Gotham but he mostly just vibes.

Jarro

Jarro is a piece of the alien evil guy starro, who Batman straight up adopted.

everyone loves this guy, he’s adorable, he’s one of the fill in robins, he mostly just vibes with everyone, starro lost visitation rights, he’s just a cutie.

Tim, and Jarro are the closest no one knows why but Jarro kinda just adores Tim.

Athanasia Al Ghul

Since she and the other Al Ghul kids are from alternate universes, I’m just going to throw them in.

Athanasia Al Ghul Is very similar to Damien except she has a great appreciation for music, she’s an extremely classical composer and composes whole ass ballads so proper that she releases the songs to choirs and singing schools.

Yeah she’s an assassin and yeah she’s kinda evil, but she’s not THAT evil. Red hood manages to punch some sense into her along with Dick and Damian, I’m putting her age as a a year younger than Damien and they manage to get through to her and convince her to not kill them all.

she’s actually from an alternate universe though I’m shoving her in my fanon/canon universe. She, Helena, and Damien are all dicks to each other seeing as they are the youngest of all of them, they gang up on Dick, Jason and Tim and beg them to listen to their stories and music and art.

she’s more of Bruce’s kid, since she literally does not leave his side and kinda adores the positive attention. She becomes well idk what her vigilante name is, but it’d be something incredibly distracting and punny.

Anita Jean

The first robin, technically.

she has 9 Red Robin’s, and loves them all.

had a murderous streak and kinda adores being scary.

Jason after the events of the “robins” run found her and took her in, yeah maybe they don’t know each other but they went through the same shit.

Her vigilante name is “Wren” and is basically Red Hood’s robin, she and penguin are sworn enemies because she loves birds so much and penguin is a dick to them.

Jason, and Anita/Jane kinda just vibe. Yeah we made mistakes we both kinda suck, but we are chill now. They became close siblings.

she kinda loathes Dick, for replacing her and all that but she let go over it after a screaming match.

and uh, that’s all I got!

yay

[cherripeach]

Chapter 7

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it.

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it. Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Prologue 14-18: i have the power of god and anime on my side

Chapter Summary: So a normal anime battle, right?

Warnings: Curse words, kinda jokes about death

Words: 3.4k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

Walking through the mirror portal was like walking through a fever dream on drugs: directions weren’t a thing and every color was being blasted through your eyelids into your eyes and once you opened them because the colors calmed down, you think you saw a talking cat who smiled and waved at you in there.

All three of you with Grim on your hip stumbled out of the portal to this new forest area.

Problem with the forest was nothing was moving. No noises from birds. No wind blowing the trees. No crunch of the leaves on the ground by any animals. No footsteps. Nothing.

Your eyes surveyed the land and only found the forest deserted. Even the little cabin in front of you did not look like it had been touched in years. There were holes in the roof and cobwebs all over the house. And there were no lights on in the entire house.

You and the color duo had the same thought and locked eye contact with a cringe on each of your faces, absolutely not ready for anything.

So you began your journey with Red in front of you and Blue behind.

Blue looked around the forest, and then looked back to you and Grim, “So this is Dwarf’s Mine...It used to be prosperous, thanks to magic crystal mining but…”

Grim spoke up, “Uuuuhh.. Feels like something could jump out…” and slipped further into your arms.

You held on a little tighter to your cat and voiced your opinion, “Feels like someone died or something... “ You paused and decided to get this moment over with, “What are your names again? Like full name…”

Red just rolled his eyes and turned to face you, “Are you actually kidding me? You're such a dumbass…” He rolled his eyes and faced forward and continued to move forward to only mutter, “Ace Trappola, loser.”

Deuce pulled up by your side and sympathized with your struggles, “It’s okay. I’m Deuce Spade,” and he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, “I’m not really good with names either, and I have to ask all the time.” A small smile appeared on his face.

Ace grabbed back your attention while announcing his founding of the house you already knew about, “Oh, there's a house back there. Let's go ask them about the mine”a

You were not for this, “You sure that house isn’t haunted. I’m not okay with going into a haunted house and dying with people I’ve barely met.”

Ace was not in the mood and twisted his head to stick out his tongue at you, “Shut it, dumbass.”

You four finally got to the door of the cottage or cabin, and you realized that the cottages looked a lot like the Dwarf’s House in Snow White which you really should have put together when Deuce called the area the ‘Dwarf’s Mine.’

Once all three of you stopped at the door, Ace, the genius he is, decided to knock on the door as if anyone would answer. He even called out to those inside, “Good evening..” until he realized that no one was home, “I guess it’s abandoned …” Then, his next great idea was going inside which totally is not a crime of breaking in and entering, “It’s a mess in here.”

Grim jumped out of your arms to get into the cottage and began his exploration which landed him right in a spider web where he spit out pieces onto the floor,“ Puwah! I got a spider web in my face.. Peh! Peh!”

Ace moved over to the table, “Aren't the tables and chairs on the small side? Are they for kids? One, two... There's seven! So many!”

“I don’t know about you, but I think that dwarfs might have lived here,” You had to make a sarcastic remark at his lack of judgement.

But of course none of them heard you or acknowledged you until a light bulb flashed over Deuce’s head while he brought up something similar to you,“This was probably a lively home when Dwarfs' Mine flourished.”

Your face fell while you could only shake your head at the audacity (of this bitch), look away from him, and mutter, “Well, no shit, sherlock.”

Ace brought your attention back to the task at hand, “They did what they had to. After all, magic crystals are found inside coal. For now, let's go check it out.“

And so all three of you ventured out of the cottage into the forest. Heading through the forest, you discovered something when looking at the sky: The Neverland Star was in the sky. You had to ponder for a minute if what if you actually were in a world where all things that happened in Disney Movies existed. You pushed that aside the moment you thought of it and laughed because ‘Naw, there’s no way that could happen and certainly not to you. You weren’t some Y/N from a fanfic where their parents sold them to Harry Styles.’

The more you followed the terrible forest path the less the path could be seen; years of no use made the path basically nonexistent. But the mine was the worst: broken pieces of wood and metal were thrown about like it something happened when it was closed, grass was growing from the train tracks, and not a single forest creature was in sight.

Grim studied the vibe for a minute and freaked out, “W-we're gonna go in that pitch black cave!?” He could only cling back onto your cloak for protection as if you could protect even yourself.

“Scared? Lame.” Ace rolled his eyes and emerged first from the four of you in horror at the mine.

Grim threw your cloak back in your direction and crossed his arms, “Naaanh!? I'm not s-scared at all! I'm taking the lead! You guys, follow me!“ Grim pranced to get in front of the three of you and entered the mine.

Everything was going well until two ghosts emerged from within the mine, creating chaos from the four of you.

The ghost’s could only reply to your chaos with, “Heeee hee hee! Our first visitor in ten years!” from one and, “Make yourselves at home. For eternity!” from another.

And all three of you raced away from the ghosts.

Ace could not help but panic, “This place is haunted with ghosts, too!”

Deuce tried to handle the situation, “We don't have time to deal with them one by one. Let's go!”

But Ace is Ace, “Don't think you can just order me around. If you hadn't done something so idiotic, we wouldn't be in this mess.“

“You wanna talk about who started it? It's cause you wouldn't clean!”

“It started when that furball burned the Queen of Hearts' statue!"

Grim tried to save his dignity, “Ffgna! That's what you get for making a fool outta me!”

Deuce set the objective again to the two idiots, “All of you! Do you understand our situation right now? We're all expelled if we don't get back with a magic crystal by tomorrow morning!”

You just couldn’t stand the arguing of these boys. They were worse than children arguing over a favorite toy.

Ace flicked his hand at Deuce and voiced his attitude, “So stop patronizing me. It's really ticking me off.”

“Will you all just shut up and run? Is it that hard to comprehend in your tiny brains that this is a situation where we could all I don't know..d i e? Either get your asses out of here and follow me or I’ll leave you in here.” You grabbed Grim and put him back on your hip.

“...on’t….ive….wo....” A ghastly voice spoke from far in front of your group.

Everyone jumped.

Ace peered around the cave only stopping to lock his frantic gaze onto yours, “W-who said that...”

“St...one....sssss.....mine..” The voice murmured.

“I think it's... getting closer…” Deuce whispered-yelled at you.

“Stone.... IS MIIIIIIIIIIINNNEEEE!!” A creature with a broken glass head with tar or a substance like gasoline leaking out of the broken area. The creature had a red coat with a belt and a brown hat on top of its broken glass head.

All three of you jumped with wide eyes and open mouths and screeched, “I-It's heeeeeeeeeeeree!!!!”

You with Grim in your arms, Deuce, and Ace all scrambled to get out of the cave with the monster, pushing and shoving the others to get out of the way and get through. You ended up tripping on a rock

A new section of the cave came into view while the monster was still chasing after your group. And even after you three sprinted through the cave, you did not stop until the monster’s footsteps could not be heard from behind you.

You three came to a halt and you let Grim stand up in order for you to place your hands on your knees so that you could take a break and breathe after the run you just had. The other two boys followed your same form and let out large puffs of air.

Deuce stood back up while still exhaling air, “What the heck is that thing?!”

Grim clutched your cloak as he hid under it this time, “Ffgnaaaaaaa!!” He almost pulled your pants down, “Crowley didn't say anything about that!! Let's get outta here!” He tugged your cloak in the opposite direction of the cave.

Ace fixed himself and thought out loud, “It’s so nasty,” but he placed his hand on his chin and finished with, “But didn't it mention a 'stone'!?” He did peace signs and moved his fingers up and down to signify he was quoting the beast.

Grim’s mouth flew open wide while he voiced his opinion of the monster with a solid, “Eehh??”

He was lost in his confusion until the monster appeared behind him again, “St....one, won't....give...!” The monster seemed pretty strung up about this stone which made you pause for a minute and think. Why is this monster here in the first place? And why does this monster need this stone? Is it like its source of magic like the chandelier or something?

Deuce had a cry of “Eureka!” by proclaiming about the magic crystals, “So there really are magic crystals left!”

Grim’s response was plain, “N-n-n-n-n-nope! Nope! I'm a genius, but I can't beat that thing!” He was still clutching onto your cloak while pointing at the monster.

Deuce curled his fist up, “But we'll be expelled without it.. I'm going!” and he threw it up in the air.

Ace’s wide eyes locked with yours, “You’ve gotta be kidding!?”

“Well, if we are gonna do this and get this stone, we gotta do this right.” You threw your hands on your hips and your lips twitched up.

Deuce now had both of his hands in fists while proclaiming, “I cannot, under any circumstances, be expelled!”

The monster was not hearing any of it, “Leave! Leave!! Leeeeeaave!!!”

And so the three and the monsters began to fight. Grim had to jump out of his hiding spot, and he would spit fire at the monster every couple of steps that the monster was taking. Ace and Deuce kept hitting the monster with common attacks that they knew. But you realized something sooner than they did.

So you yelled at them, “Idiots, nothing is working. Get your butts out of here if you want to live!”

They, of course, would not listen to you and continued to fire their attacks at the monster, and even when Grim noticed the attacks weren’t working and informed the others with a “I-It's not working at all!” they still continued to fight.

It was only when you found a sparkly light at the end of the tunnel did your scream of “Dudes, there is a crystal thing here!” spurred them to listen to you.

Ace turned and found the crystal just as you did, “Behind that thing! At the end of the tunnel, something...”

Deuce nodded, “That light, is it a magic crystal!?”

And once the monster hollered at the group of you again about how he “WON’T GIVE” your group the crystal, you made the assumption that there was at least one crystal left.

Grim turned back to you and called for the others to get out of the mine as soon as possible because there was no way they were gonna win now.

You grabbed Grim once he made grabby hands at you and started to dash down the mine in the opposite direction of the creature.

You three ended up making it back to the little cottage before you stopped.

Grim panted even though he was on your hip the entire time, “Is this far enough?”

Ace was still stupefied, “Ooooww.. What in the world was that? No one said anything about that!”

Deuce was also lost in confusion, “It didn't seem like any old ghost.”

Ace sighed in defeat, “Let's give up and go home. I'd rather get expelled than fight that thing.”

Deuce looked incredulously at Ace, “Wha!? Don't screw with me! I'd rather die than face expulsion! There's a magic crystal in front of us and you wanna go home!” Deuce gripped Ace’s collar and pulled the boy in front of his face.

Ace scoffed, “Ha. You talk big for someone worse at magic than me. Go alone if you want. I'm done.” Ace pushed Deuce’s hands off of him and started walking away from the direction of the mine.

Deuce snapped, “Oooh, that right? Then stay right there cowering like a spineless coward!”

Ace’s face swiveled around, “Huuuuh?? Coward?? Who exactly are you talking about?”

Grim’s hands tigented around your shirt, “U-uuuh... Deuce. Did you switch up your character?” His head tilted to the side.

Deuce coughed, “Huh! A-ahem! My bad. I lost my composure a bit.”

You decided that if any time is good, now is the perfect time for your opinion, “Okay dudes, let’s use what we have. We know that magic can help us in this situation, but being a dumbass won’t. All three of you need to actually use your brains and remember that you don’t have to do this alone.” You placed your hand on your chin, “If one magic alone does not work with our level, maybe magic combined could work. There is always the power of friendship if we really need it.”

Ace’s eyes narrowed in either disgust or confusion, “Well, yeah we can only do small stuff that we are good at. That’s why we have schools for magic, so that we can practice a lot to use magic just as it comes to mind. You’ll screw up if you lose your cool.”

Your eyes sparkled, “So what you are saying is I’m right and that we do need to work together as you are all inexperienced magicians that can barely do anything!” This was just what you needed.

Ace continued and ignored you, “Shut up. Stuff you're good at, you can go off instinct.”

Deuce voiced his decisions, “At any rate, I'm going in there. I'll figure out how to beat that thing and come back with a magic crystal.”

Ace rolled his eyes at Deuce, “However, judging by the chandelier incident, you're a complete idiot. You couldn't land a single hit earlier, but now you'll 'figure it out'? It's going to end the same.”

Deuce’s eyes narrowed at Ace, “Come again!? You think…”

Grim tugged on your cloak to get your attention, “Here they go again. Can you stop it?”

A sigh came out of your mouth to launch you into your rant, “Will both of you put your dicks away and calm down? For Pete’s Sake, I really thought your brains would be bigger than your dick, but now I’m just assuming that your brain is nonexistent…” Your hand ran through your hair, “Please, I beg for you to listen to me for one second. Get your head out of your ass and realize that you, all of you, need to work together as a team and think with your heads to defeat this monster. Capiche?” You closed your eyes and smiled as wide as you could.

Both of the students looked at you like you just told them that the world would end, and ended up yelping after their eyes met yours.

Grim covered his ears with his paws, “Waah. Why are you shouting all of the sudden?”

You opened your eyes and obtained a resting bitch face, “Either you suck it up and realize that you can’t do anything alone or you can go try again and maybe you’ll have a good short death.” Your smile appeared back on your face.

Deuce deflated, “Guuhh... B-but... What exactly should we do?”

“We have to have a plan for this to work,” You knew you had to put your head together.

Ace still had disgust in his eyes, “Strategy? You mean get along and work together. Ha! That's cold. You have no problem saying lame things with a serious face, huh.”

Deuce bobbed his head, “Disagreed. No way I'm working with this loser.”

Grim shook his head, “But... I feel like it's way lamer to get expelled on the first day of school.”

Ace stuttered, “U-uh, that’s…”

Deuce stared at his shoes.

“So, are you finally gonna listen to me?” You smiled and ran your hand through your hair.

Ace groaned, “....haaaahh.. Fine! We just have to get it done, right! So, what's your plan?”

And all three of you then had a discussion about what you were going to do to defeat the monster. Neither of the males had any ideas, so it depended all on your ideas. Later, you three ended up at the opening of the mine with confident looks on your faces, empty stomachs, and worn out bodies.

Grim, shaking next to you and gripping the end of your cloak, gazed up into your eyes, “You... really think it'll go as planned? I'm sca... no, just nervous.”

“Hey, Grim,” You pet the top of his head right next to his ears, “Nothing bad will happen to us. You just have to believe in yourself and everyone else.”

Ace slapped you back, “Haha, you're too stiff. Just go with the flow. Let's get this over with!”

All three of you strutted into the mine as if you knew what you were doing, but you didn’t.

Grim jumped in front of you and waved his arms all around, “Hey, beasty! O-o-o-over here!”

The monster ended up sprinting at you which makes sense because before it ran at you, you cupped your mouth and yelled, “Hey, whore, bet you never passed elementary school!” And then stuck out your tongue at the monster.

Grim sprung up and went in the opposite direction you did screaming, “Gah! It’s coming!”

While you tried to doge the monster, the monster growled, “Grrr!There... thief... too. Won't give... Mine... Mine!!”

The monster’s growls and shrieks soon turned into wails and cries. You paused your run to observe the monster who was in the middle of fighting Ace and Deuce because Ace decided to punch the monster in the monster’s face of glass. (Grim ended up cheering at Ace’s punch) This monster you had now learned was not mad at you but was probably attached to the mine and especially to the crystal with how the monster’s screams turned to cries.

(‘Great character analysis!’ You thought while patting yourself on the back.)

You surveyed the outfit of the monster once more, and you learned that it was much more familiar than you thought.

A light bulb went off in your head because the outfit looks like one of the seven dwarfs outfits, and, of course, now when you need it you forgot what they all look like.

You had to get everyone’s attention, especially the monster’s, “Hey hey hey! I’m gonna steal the crystal if you don’t run after me!”

The monster stomped after you out of the mine and into a big meadow roaring, “Go away! Go away!!!”

And with a wave of your hand, the three magicians in your group did a grand attack. All of them were yelling their movies like basic anime heroes.

(‘Am I in an anime?’ flew through your mind for a second, but your slowly pushed it down)

You knew that this was your only chance because the monster was stuck in all of their attack, “I’ll go get it, don’t worry!”

The three of them high fified and talked a little bit about how just amazing their combined attack was. You were spirinting into the mine, tripping on some of the rocks and slipping on a puddle of muck from the monster. The crystal slowly came into view and you went in that direction.

Large, booming footsteps were heard from behind you causing you to circle around to the noise and find not only the monster racing toward you but your idiotic boys following after it.

Ace hollered at you, “Watch Out!”

The monster even though the boys were still attacking it ignored everything and sprinted straight for you and the crystal.

You had to jam your hands into the rocks surrounding the crystal and pull as hard as you can which honestly was not a lot. Your hands were soon donned with scraps and cuts from the rocks surrounding it, and finally after using a piece of metal from the train tracks behind you, you got out the crystal with the monster not on your ass but almost.

When the monster locked sight onto the crystal in your hand, a sickening screech flew through the air, “Hands ooooofffffffff!!”

Deuce, Ace, and Grim all began panicking and trying to find out what to do by actually asking each other.

However, your biggest priority was to get out of the monster’s range, so you had to do something that could get you killed possibly.

(At least unless you wanted to go deeper into the mine which honestly was a worse idea than facing the monster in front of you).

The monster could almost reach out and grab you now so you performed your amazing save: you kneeled to the ground as the monster was still running at you causing the monster to trip and fly right over you into a wall of rocks. Since the monster was now a little caught up, you stood up and rushed to get the boys who you pulled by their sleeves as they were still arguing and forced them to follow you out of the mine once and for all.

Grim surveyed your hand and ordered the others, “We got the magic crystal! Let’s skedaddle!”

Ace looked back at the monster, sighed, then turned to Grim, and shouted, “Roger!”

The monster ended up gaining focus quicker than you expected because it appeared right behind you as the exit to the cave came in sight.

Ace incredulously gazed at the monster, “You're kidding!? It knocked off all that stuff and came after us!”

Deuce cursed and then remarks, “Shoot, it’s gonna catch up to us!”

You noticed that the monster did not stop even when all of you were close to the cottage in the woods, and you knew that it was because the monster is dead set on getting the crystal out of your hands, “There’s no way it’s gonna let us go. Either we end this now or die trying, so let’s go.” You halted your run and faced the monster with your fists in the air.

Ace sighed, “Aaah, fine! Let's finish it! Don't let me down, Mr. Serious!”

Deuce's eyes flicked to yours and then Ace, “You too.”

Grim jumped in front of you, “I’ll show off my true power!”

All three of them ended up using their magic together to defeat the monster, and even though they all came out of the battle close to dead they still cheered and celebrated with each other with shouts and highfives.

A breath of relief passed your lips, “Now this is when you confess your love for each other?” You locked eyes with first Ace and Deuce.

“Knock it off!” Ace and Deuce yelped at you.

It seemed they have become so much in sync that they are even imitating each other.

Deuce continued with red cheeks, “...Ah. N-no. This is nothing like that!”

Ace added, rubbing the back of his neck, “Y-yeah, yeah! Could you stop saying weird things?”

Grim puffed out his chest and bloated, “W-we won, thanks to my genius!...It's not because we pooled our strength!”

You turned to Ace and shook your head causing Ace to run his hand through his hair and frown, “...I guess making excuses is pretty lame. I hate to admit it but we won thanks to your plan.”

Deuce slowly nodded, “... True. We got the magic crystal because you gave us level headed instructions. We can prevent our expulsion this way. ... I'm so relieved.”

You smiled at the two, “Everyone did their part, and now we can finally relax.”

Ace finished it off, “Yeah, yeah. We're all relieved. And seriously worn-out and battered. Let's go home.”

Grim pulled your coat and remarked how starving he was, but all you could think about was a change of clothes and a bath, so him eating a black crystal or whatever did not really bother you, not even when the other two boys were yelling at him not to.

Deuce let out a cheer of excitement and a breath of plain exhaustion, “Switching gears, let's get this magic crystal to the headmaster!”

Everything was finally going your way. For now.

~~~

It be very cute how my laptop now does not work

[dilutesworry]

❛                    𝒉𝒆    takes    no    time    to    shake    his    wings    dry    again    ,    but    for    us    –    a    few    drops    of    love    are    intense    pain    .    wine    rouses    the    heart    ,    wine    makes    all    men    lovers    –    wine    ,    undiluted    ,    dilutes    worry    .

               *     omg  hello  ,  i’m  so  excited  to  be  here  i  love  mythology  in  all  forms  &  i  simply  ,  am  a  s-word  for  it  always  .  i’m  cc  ,  cst  tz  w  /  feminine  pronouns  &  this  is  bacchus  ,  who  i’ve  never  written  before  but  am  excited  to  try  my  hand  at  !  in  a  nutshell  ,  he  can  be  described  as  scarily  calm  angry  guy  who’s  wine  drunk  &  has  a  flair  for  the  dramatics  .  lots  more  under  the  cut  ,  but  i’m  so  excited  for  this  so  pls  !  hit  the  stupid  lil  heart  to  plot  or  hmu  for  my  discord  !  general  tw  for  alcohol  .

  ❛           𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔  &  𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒌     ›     𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐒     .  

(   YOON   JEONGHAN,   CIS   MAN,   HE   /   HIM    ╱    well,   if   it   isn’t   BACCHUS,   who   has   decided   to   grace   us   with   HIS   presence.   I   heard   the   GOD   OF   WINE   &  MADNESS   has   been   living   amongst   the   humans   for   417   YEARS,  and  hasn’t   aged   a   day,   funny   right   ?   they   can   be   EQUABLE   &   WILY,   you   should   watch   out   because   they   are   also   known   to   be   INTEMPERATE   &   AUDACIOUS.   HE   harnesses   the   power   of   MADNESS  INDUCTION,   and   have   chosen   the   path   of   being   AGAINST   the   humans.    ╱  CC,   20,   CST   )

  ❛           𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆  &  𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒘     ›     𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒     .    

he    sits    by    the    sea    ,    swallowed    in    sand    with    an    empty    chalice    in    his    hands    .    his    eyes    are    tired    ,    an    irrationally    calm    ire    that    rests    on    impenetrable    skin    while    he    watches    the    sun    rise    .    will    he    ever    tire    of    the    simple    things    ?    there    was    once    beauty    in    humanity    –    he’s    spent    centuries    dancing    naked    in    the    woods    ,    flowers    adorned    in    his    hair    sending    messages    in    the    breeze    ;    life    hasn’t    been    the    same    since    last    he    blinked    .    oh    ,    he    tires    ,    he    longs    to    sink    in    the    sand    unforgotten    ,    but    accursed    with    the    weight    of    mankind    ,    he    tires    –    of    them    .

  ❛           𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒖𝒔  𝒊𝒏  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒆     ›     𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐒     .  

                           ✧  *   CORE  

↠  full  name  .  bacchus   /   alias  baek  suhwan ↠ nickname(s)  /  alias(es)  /   title(s)  .  roman  god  of  wine  &  madness  ,  baek  suhwan  –  in  the  modern  age  to  mortals   ↠  age  /  dob  .  immortal  /  appears  twenty  -  eight ↠  hometown  .  rome  (  if  u  saw  me  put  greece  here  first  no  u  didn’t  ) ↠  current  location  .  new  york  city  . ↠  stance  .  against  mankind  . ↠  abilities  .  madness  induction  . ↠  gender .  cis  gendered  man  . ↠  pronouns .  he  /  him  . ↠  orientation  .  bisexual  ,  grayromantic  . ↠  occupation  .  ????  billionaire  playboy  ???? ↠  face  claim  .  yoon  jeonghan  .

       ✧  *   COUNTENANCE

↠  height  .  six  feet  ,  one  inch  /  187  cm ↠  build .  broad  shoulders  ,  though  he’s  got  thinner  limbs  than  the  more  athletic  of  his  kind  .  best  described  as  lean  ,  but  well  toned  . ↠  tattoos  .  a  couple  hand  tattoos  ,  XII  on  the  back  of  his  neck  . ↠  piercings  .  ears  . ↠  scars  .  none  . ↠  hair .  these  days  he’s  sporting  jet  black  ,  messy  curls  that  usually  fall  into  his  eyes  .  he’s  been  known  to  try  different  hair  colors  ,  but  hasn’t  been  blonde  or  otherwise  in  the  last  century  . ↠  eyes  .  dark  ,  and  always  seeming  to  swirl  with  a  mix  of  emotions  –  it  teems  on  raw  anger  and  sheer  entertainment  ,  but  his  eyes  tend  to  always  just  be  watching  and  observing  ,  easily  putting  most  mortals  at  unease  if  he  wants  to  . ↠  clothing  style  .  whatever’s  on  trend  –  but  just  ,  slightly  off  .  in  his  youth  on  earth  ,  used  to  sport  bright  colors  and  flashy  clothing  but  in  the  most  recent  years  (  decades  ,  even  ,  not  centuries  )  he’s  toned  it  way  down  to  neutrals  and  dark  toned  clothing  .  it’s  jarring  ,  since  he’s  mostly  outwardly  still  the  same  ,  he  just  looks  like  he’s  matured  a  lot  more  . ↠  usual  expression  .  just  slightly  entertained  ,  half  a  smirk  written  on  his  lips  while  a  golden  chalice  is  tipped  toward  them  .  always  like  he’s  in  on  a  secret  that  he’s  not  supposed  to  know  about  ,  like  he’s  just  on  the  verge  of  ruining  your  life  if  you  choose  to  approach  him  in  the  darkness  of  the  party  –  he  screams  danger  ,  but  he’s  tempting  . ↠  speech  .  slightly  off  putting  ,  as  if  when  listening  you’re  unable  to  discern  where  he’s  really  from  –  because  his  words  sound  a  little  ,  ancient  ,  a  little  too  powerful  .  he  speaks  like  he’s  the  most  important  person  ,  and  like  attention  and  glory  are  owed  to  him  .  awfully  crude  ,  but  he’s  charming  enough  to  get  away  with  his  egotistical  tendencies  and  how  harshly  his  words  leave  his  lips  . ↠  distinguishing  features  .  an  aura  that  demands  attention  –  whether  he’s  earned  it  or  not  ,  worn  fingertips  that  are  always  rough  against  others’  skin  ,  tilted  lips  that  always  spread  in  a  trouble  -  making  grin  ,  clever  eyes  that  don’t  seem  to  match  the  rest  of  his  demeanor  .

       ✧  *  RUMINATIONS    

↠  (  +  )  positive .  equable  ,  wily ↠  (  -  )  negative  .  intemperate  ,  audacious ↠  moral  alignment  .  chaotic  evil ↠  likes  .  wine  (  though  ,  won’t  complain  about  other  types  of  alcohol  either  )  ,  long  parties  that  last  days  –  even  if  it’s  not  as  common  these  days  ,  the  silent  roar  of  the  sea  ,  the  feel  of  an  evenly  balanced  blade  in  hand  ,  naked  company  resting  between  silk  sheets  ,  cliff  diving  (  won’t  explain  )  ,  being  awake  in  a  city  that  never  sleeps  –  roams  free  barefoot  in  the  streets  from  time  to  time  ,  never  ending  adventures  with  heroes  ;  hasn’t  found  a  hero  worth  following  ,  though  . ↠  dislikes  .  most  mankind  –  they’ve  lost  his  respect  far  too  long  ago  ,  death  (  of  a  party  ,  of  a  favored  mortal  ,  of  joy  )  ,  disrespect  toward  him  –  everyone  else  is  fair  game  ,  apparently  ,  most  demigods  –  they’re  just  annoying  ,  being  uncomfortable  –  therefore  often  indulges  in  the  finest  things  in  life  ,  most  modern  music  (  old  man  vibes  )  . ↠  quirks  .  will  pull  out  various  ,  priceless  chalices  and  goblets  seemingly  out  of  nowhere  –  usually  accompanied  by  a  rare  ,  expensive  bottle  of  wine  (  won’t  offer  to  anyone  else  ,  it’s  just  for  him  )  ,  raises  his  right  eyebrow  whenever  he  finds  something  interesting  ,  carries  around  an  authentic  aureus  coin  at  all  times  and  is  often  seen  flipping  and  weaving  it  between  his  fingers  . ↠  hobbies  .  disappearing  for  multiple  years  at  a  time  only  to  reappear  as  some  new  version  of  asshole  ,  letting  himself  get  into  fights  (  and  willingly  losing  )  just  to  Feel  Something  ,  lounging  in  a  silk  robe  in  his  penthouse  and  complaining  to  his  household  staff  (  aka  lamenting  like  an  old  poet  )  ,  creating  multiple  social  media  personalities  just  to  see  how  far  he  can  get  away  with  things  if  he  pretends  to  be  famous  for  a  century  or  two  .

 ❛           𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒆  𝒔𝒐𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒅     ›     𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄     .

trigger  warnings  :  death  ,  war  –  mentions  of  blood  .

       ✧  *  ASCENSION

         *     bacchus  ,  roman  god  of  wine  &  madness  .  he  is  not  far  from  his  greek  counterpart  ,  dionysus  ,  &  often  has  the  same  stories  as  him  .  

he’s  born  from  the  thigh  of  his  father  –  birthed  as  a  demigod  while  being  raised  by  nymphs  in  order  to  be  hidden  from  the  wrath  of  an  immortal  queen  .  the  first  to  cultivate  grapes  &  turn  them  into  wine  ,  his  first  instance  with  mankind  is  spent  in  asia  –  teaching  the  mortals  their  the  secrets  of  wine  making  .  he  is  the  last  to  ascend  to  mount  olympus  ,  the  twelfth  to  take  his  seat  among  them  &  is  inherently  ,  the  baby  (  which  ,  he  lives  up  to  )  .

       ✧  *  500 YEARS AGO

             *     the  1500s  ,  bacchus  arrives  on  earth  –  naked  &  drunk  ,  awaiting  his  newest  adventure  .  he  loves  mankind  ,  despite  the  atrocities  they  perform  upon  each  other  .  a  traveling  storyteller  ,  he  finds  his  place  on  a  caravan  of  freaks  while  roaming  in  europe  .  rome  isn’t  what  it  used  to  be  ,  now  taken  over  by  men  from  the  north  who  are  just  learning  about  the  earth  being  round  –  churches  &  monarchy  are  rampant  ,  bacchus  becomes  a  bard  briefly  .  he  has  his  way  with  the  men  &  women  of  the  court  ,  charming  them  into  sin  ,  whispering  forbidden  stories  of  godhood  into  their  ears  as  he  brings  in  a  generation  of  forgotten  demigods  that  won’t  amount  to  much  .  he  falls  in  love  with  a  mortal  prince  ,  watches  him  die  in  a  baseless  fight  against  the  churches  &  the  people  .  he  disappears  for  a  few  decades  before  resurfacing  in  asia  ,  finding  an  easy  life  with  the  sprawling  dynasties  .  as  always  ,  adopts  a  life  as  a  storyteller  –  a  rambunctious  drunk  that  has  a  way  with  words  (  &  royalty  )  ,  earning  him  a  comfortable  life  .  he  ends  the  era  with  still  much  love  in  his  heart  for  mankind  –  they’ve  been  nothing  but  kind  to  him  ,  they’ve  loved  him  &  cherished  him  ,  his  anger  is  nonexistent  .

       ✧  *  400  YEARS  AGO

            *     the  1600s  ,  italy  calls  him  home  ,  bacchus  arrives  at  the  same  time  of  the  greatest  minds  mankind  has  to  offer  .  but  as  galileo  &  isaac  newton  are  quick  to  make  discoveries  (  that  are  quite  ,  common  knowledge  in  his  opinion  )  ,  he’s  the  kind  instead  to  be  distracted  by  the  pleasures  in  life  .  bacchus  is  the  same  bacchus  as  the  child  who  took  his  first  steps  just  a  century  earlier  .  he  indulges  in  the  finest  wines  &  women  ,  a  sprawling  palace  built  in  his  name  as  he  lounges  about  being  fed  grapes  .  it’s  here  he  has  his  first  taste  in  adventure  ,  after  boredom  settles  into  his  bones  .  bacchus  assimilates  into  mankind  even  more  than  he  had  previously  –  he’s  quick  to  fall  in  love  again  ,  but  not  necessarily  with  someone  –  just  ,  even  more  with  mankind  .  he  watches  from  afar  as  they  grow  &  form  ideas  ,  becoming  brighter  &  stronger  than  they  were  ever  intended  to  .  bacchus  gifts  more  to  mankind  than  ever  ,  there  are  records  of  him  all  over  europe  –  &  to  the  east  ,  a  mysterious  benefactor  in  the  ottoman empire  that  matches  his  description  .  he  most  often  brings  up  stories  from  this  era  (  &  the  18th  century  ,  but  ,  not  there  yet  )  .

       ✧  *  300  YEARS  AGO

           *     the  1700s  ,  bacchus  becomes  more  warlike  than  ever  .  he  shows  his  godhood  in  both  the  american  &  french  revolution  ,  bares  his  teeth  in  every  single  major  war  that  starts  on  earth  .  bloody  &  powerful  ,  his  stories  during  this  century  are  a  lot  more  somber  .  he  witnesses  horrors  &  pain  that  he  didn’t  know  were  necessary  (  aren’t  those  usually  things  reserved  for  the  gods  ?  he  hasn’t  experienced  life  on  earth  on  the  bad  side  ,  perhaps  he  would’ve  seen  more  if  he  had  –  understood  that  mankind  isn’t  too  far  away  from  the  gods  themselves  .  the  titanomachy  tends  to  repeat  ,  after  all  )  ,  he  gains  his  first  taste  of  disdain  for  mankind  .  even  when  he’s  settled  between  wars  with  a  crown  on  his  head  &  a  golden  spear  in  hand  ,  he’s  starting  to  see  humans  forget  him  .  they’ve  shifted  focus  ,  weapons  in  hand  with  blood  on  their  teeth  ,  left  his  altars  empty  &  forgotten  .  of  course  ,  if  he  just  shifted  his  own  focus  back  onto  the  courts  (  &  the  rich  )  he’d  be  better  off  .  but  ,  he  spends  this  century  as  a  disciple  of  war  ,  for  the  first  time  on  earth  showing  the  strength  of  the  roman  empire  .

       ✧  *  200  YEARS  AGO

          *     the  1800s  ,  bacchus  falls  back  into  old  patterns  –  indulges  more  &  more  in  his  domain  than  ever  .  this  is  his  worst  century  on  earth  –  every  god  ever  is  aware  of  bacchus  ,  who’s  fallen  very  deeply  into  a  spiral  that’s  difficult  to  get  out  of  .  when  asked  ,  it  takes  more  than  a  thousand  drinks  before  they  understand  what  he  went  through  .  dozens  of  favored  humans  dead  in  wars  ,  hundreds  of  children  lost  in  one  fell  swoop  –  while  the  world  just  moves  on  ,  he’s  stuck  running  around  the  world  spreading  his  gifts  &  powers  .  chosen  alcohol  no  matter  where  he  goes  ,  a  never  ending  party  left  his  wake  ,  newborn  maenads  in  his  name  ,  bacchus  is  an  eternal  mess  .  he  spends  very  little  actual  time  with  sober  humans  ,  keeping  other  gods  in  his  company  instead  .  he  almost  misses  home  ,  almost  chooses  to  return  home  ,  but  is  too  stuck  in  his  haze  to  really  remember  the  way  back  .  is  it  possible  for  gods  to  be  drunk  ?  is  it  possible  for  them  to  absolutely  forget  their  godhood  ?  well  ,  it  is  for  him  .

       ✧  *  100  YEARS  AGO

         *     the  1900s  ,  his  anger  is  at  an  all  time  high  ,  bacchus  is  all  but  forgotten  .  his  greek  counterpart  is  far  more  remembered  ,  he  is  left  behind  in  the  dirt  (  though  ,  who’s  fault  is  it  really  ?  over  a  hundred  years  as  a  drunkard  ,  spilling  old  stories  &  fading  from  the  forefront  of  man’s  mind  ,  he’s  got  nobody  else  but  himself  to  blame  )  .  for  the  century  ,  he’s  a  particularly  cruel  god  –  very  sly  ,  very  cunning  ,  very  not  great  for  mankind  .  a  deal  broker  ,  he’s  quick  to  help  out  humans  ,  but  always  for  a  price  &  always  an  entirely  too  high  one  .  it  doesn’t  make  much  sense  ,  since  there’s  not  much  he  can  grant except  momentary  invincibility  ,  a  quick  escape  if  needed  ,  a  personal  maenad  .  he  sets  a  quick  record  for  inducing  madness  ,  more  than  ever  in  his  entire  four  hundred  years  on  earth  –  more  people  go  insane  than  ever  under  his  fingertips  &  he  finds  it  absolutely  entertaining  .  only  toward  the  end  of  the  cold  war  does  he  find  it  in  himself  to  ...  Relax  ,  a  little  .

       ✧  *  NOW

         *     nowadays  ,  a  new  visage  on  hand  ,  he  returns  to  his  roots  from  his  favorite  place  earth  has  to  offer  .  the  first  few  years  of  the  new  century  are  spent  around  eastern  asia  ,  traveling  about  once  again  &  teaching  mankind  new  ways  to  succeed  in  the  wine  business  .  after  he’s  swindled  enough  mortals  out  of  their  money  ,  he  turns  to  the  west  &  settles  in  manhattan  ,  new  york  .  a  penthouse  is  purchased  underneath  the  alias  “baek  suhwan”  &  he  is  content  to  live  his  days  out  ,  lounging  about  with  the  people  that  disgust  him  the  most  .  he  is  calm  now  ,  though  is  anger  is  not  forgotten  .  it’s  turned  almost  –  apathetic  ,  a  dangerous  type  of  ire  to  hold  ,  but  he’s  numbed  out  to  it  .  most  of  what  he  does  nowadays  is  insult  everyone  around  him  (  for  entertainment  )  or  be  the  most  dramatic  person  in  the  room  (  for  entertainment  )  or  cause  a  ruckus  amongst  the  gods  (  for  entertainment  )  .  as  for  mankind  ,  they’ve  really  done  nothing  in  the  recent  centuries  to  win  back  his  favor  ,  &  though  he  now  more  leans  toward  indifferent  ,  he’d  still  choose  to  fight  against  them  rather  than  ever  fighting  for  them  .

 ❛           𝒅𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒔  𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚     ›     𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃     .  

so  like  ,  in  theory  :  everything  .

but  in  specifics  i’ll  just  list  some  scenarios  instead  haha  cause  that’s  how  i  do  things  cause  smol  brain  .

001  :  we  always  run  into  each  other  &  i  know  exactly  how  to  push  your  buttons  so  i  always  do  &  maybe  you  like  it  ,  or  maybe  you  hate  it  –  i’m  still  going  to  be  as  annoying  as  possible  because  technically  ,  i  can  .

002  :  for  the  greek  gods  –  we’re  technically  related  (  but  i’m  not  greek  &   i  never  will  be  ,  ew  ,  god  )  &  i’m  technically  still  a  baby  god  compared  to  you  but  i  am  annoying  &  i  will  annoy  you  but  you  can’t  do  anything  about  it  because  i’m  the  baby  ):

003  :  same  as  above  except  you  DO  do  something  about  it  because  again  :  i’m  not  greek  so  yeah  you  beat  my  ass  

004  :  one  time  we  accidentally  started  a  small  war  between  mortals  &  that  was  kind  of  messy  but  now  we’re  friends  ,  except  mankind  insists  that  we’re  enemies  &  we  think  it’s  kind  of  funny  .

005  :  oh  ,  yeah  ,  i’m  a  “mortal”  but  i’m  really  not  good  at  hiding  it  cause  i  kinda  do  whatever  i  want  &  i  get  away  with  it  all  the  time  but  yeah  ,  dude  ,  i’m  “human”  –  what  do  you  mean  why  did  i  put  it  in  quotation  marks  i’m  not  a  god  ,  dude  –  no  i  didn’t  wink  at  you  haha

006  :  i  did  you  a  favor  once  &  now  you  think  you’ve  gotta  repay  me  back  but  like  ,  i’m  good  –  please  don’t  talk  to  me  ever  again  ,  i  don’t  like  you  please  stop  bothering  me  &  being  nice  to  me  please  stop  .

007  :  oh  ,  we  don’t  like  each  other  &  we  both  know  it  ,  so  yeah  we  just  don’t  get  along  &  i  will  fight  you  in  public  except  the  last  time  we  started  a  battle  it  wasn’t  cool  &  we  got  reprimanded  for  like  9  decades  so  let’s  Not  Do  That  but  yeah  ,  hate  u  ,  xx  .

[catboymingi]

prince charming - veninder chap. 9

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: fluff; soon best friends to lovers

word count: 7.2k

warnings: hints at abuse, some language

det ku’ være os to - it could be the two of us

mingi woke up around eleven, for a moment slightly confused about what had happened, but when he saw you fast asleep in his arms he knew where he was and, most importantly, with whom he was, smiling a little and trying not to move so he wouldn’t wake you up. you looked peaceful, even though you were drooling on his chest a little; he honestly thought it was adorable. you’d moved a little in your sleep so your head was now more in the middle of his chest, upper body half on top of his, being absolutely adorable as you clung to him as if he was a big teddy bear. it was sweet, it was how he wished it could always be, and he fell asleep smiling, peaceful as well until a very certain person’s phone caused him to wake up about six hours later.

“good morning, pretty”, he hummed as he slowly opened his eyes, for once not that angry at your alarm, and you puffed as you forced yourself to get off him even though he was so warm and so comfortable.

“really pretty, drooling all over your shirt. i should get a modelling contract.”

you turned off your alarm, now on the room side of the bed because your phone had been on his night table, with him scooting closer to the wall side so you wouldn’t fall down. as soon as the alarm was off, however, the distance he’d brought between you turned nonexistent as he pulled you against him, because while he wasn’t angry at your alarm he was still tired and in need of cuddles and you looked so cosy, hair messy and eyes all heavy and in his shirt.

“you’re so pretty i don’t even mind you drooling all over my shirt”, he informed you, stroking your hair gently with his other arm wrapped around your waist.

“be nice”, even though he was being nice and that was the problem - he was too nice, making you flustered because he just randomly called you pretty like this.

“mh”, he murmured, just leaving you be for now because he knew he was being nice, too, but he could also guess why you were reacting this way. so, instead of trying to argue, he just buried his face in your hair, which was very soft and smelled like hair dye, something he told you with a smile you weren’t able to see on his face.

“you’ll have to keep dyeing it for me whenever the colour fades”, you informed him, mainly just wanting him to wash your hair again because it had felt so nice and domestic and you’d liked his ministrations, the way he’d gently massaged your scalp to get all the dye out, how soft he’d been when he’d dried your hair after, all those cute things.

“will do”, happy you wanted him to be the one to dye it again. “sleep more or get up now?”

“hm…”, you hummed, thinking about it. “we can sleep some more, but i’ll have to get up at 6.30, for the alt girl revival.”

“i’m excited”, though he sounded more like he was about to fall back asleep any second, “but let’s sleep now.”

and because you wouldn’t be able to escape his hold anyway you just let him spoon you, turning off all alarms until 6.30 before you closed your eyes to nap until the next alarm would wake you up.

when that happened mingi groaned into your hair, not very pleased, but let go of you anyway. it was time to get up, he knew that, so he rubbed his eyes, almost elbowing your back because his movements weren’t the most coordinated in his tired state.

“sorry”, he grumbled, voice deeper than usual because for some reason he was more tired now than he’d been one and a half hours ago when your first alarm had rung.

“i’ll just go get ready, you can stay here”, you tried to compromise, but he was clingy and didn’t want you to be away for more than an hour, which was how long it’d take for your next alarm to ring.

“you do your makeup here”, he almost ordered, and you sighed, smiling.

“fine. but i’ll go get dressed now, so see you soon.” and before he could protest you slipped out of the bed, leaving him missing your warmth as he watched you gather your clothes and take off to the bathroom.

lucky for him he didn’t have to wait long, though, because you were back less than ten minutes later, now wearing everything but the garters which you’d chosen to neglect for now in case he wanted to cuddle some more, because they wouldn’t be the most comfortable and you’d run risk of genuinely hurting him if he held you too tight.

“how do i look?”

you really hoped he’d approve of the outfit he’d chosen, both because you wanted him to think you looked good and because it was either this or the clothes you’d worn last night, or maybe your pyjamas if you were desperate.

he let out a sound that was either a “wow” or an “oh”, you weren’t exactly sure, but by the way he’d sat up and by how big his eyes were you assumed it was more a wow; it was a sound of approval, at least.

“good?” and because unlike him you’d had time to wake up, time to clean your (slightly drool-covered) face with cold water, you were awake enough to be silly, turning around so he could see you from all sides and pretending his room was a catwalk, something that did not at all match the actual outfit.

“really good. stunning.”

he seemed about as flustered as you as he realised what he’d said - his mouth seemed to have moved without his help, just complimenting you in his half-asleep state without trying to maybe make it a little less embarrassing, a little less whipped. but you did look stunning, in his opinion, bright hair and tights and everything else being entirely black, a combination he knew from experience looked good, but he hadn’t expected it to look this good on you. when you genuinely looked comfortable in your skin, wearing what you liked, you seemed to be glowing, looking much better than usual, both in his professional and in his much more emotionally affected opinion.

“do you have a mirror here? otherwise i’ll have to do it in the bathroom.”

you wanted to give him the option to watch you, but without a mirror that wouldn’t work. he got up now, though, making his way to the chair and rummaging the mess on his desk that you’d respectfully ignored whenever you were there because the rest of his room wasn’t messy at all.

“there should be one here from when seonghwa…” the rest was quiet mumbles, making it obvious that he was just talking to himself, trying to remember where on earth this mirror was. then, a delighted “ah!” as he found it, a fairly small one, but he hoped it’d do.

“big enough?”

he held it out for you, and the excitement on his face (was he genuinely excited about watching you do makeup? incredible) made you nod even though you would have preferred a bigger one.

“you need to hold it so i can use both hands”, you let him know, and he nodded, sitting down on the bed cross-legged with the mirror resting against his legs because this would be more stable, he guessed, while you got out your little makeup bag.

“so, what’s the vibe for today?”, you asked him jokingly, but mingi seemed to genuinely be thinking.

“big and scary. i want to see what you would’ve looked like if i’d met you back then. please?”

“got it”, opening the little bag and getting out a bunch of stuff he’d seen in theory but never in use. then you started, and as he watched you do your makeup on the floor in front of him, concentrated though your face was expressionless, he couldn’t help but text his own group chat with the boys, the one you weren’t in.

[mingi]: i think i have a thing for alt girls actually

and a reply came almost immediately, from hongjoong, even though it was maybe seven in the morning.

[bad cop]: i think you just have a thing for y/n

while it was true, he didn’t have to say it like that, because even though you already knew he liked you so there was nothing to keep secret it was still embarrassing to be called out for it like this. because of that his phone ended up thrown to the chair after he locked it, causing you to lift your head and look at him questioningly.

“nothing, don’t worry”, the giant told you before you’d had a chance to ask, and you just accepted the reply, continuing to paint your face in a way that would have mingi fall in love with you even deeper because you just looked so pretty like that and he most definitely did have a thing for alt girls, he decided.

“scary enough?”, you asked once you considered yourself done, looking up at him with a smile on your now bright red lips - you’d ditched the black because of university, but that didn’t mean black wouldn’t have been your preferred choice.

“i don’t actually know if i can even go to uni like this”, something you hadn’t thought about earlier but that you now worried about just a little - you’d dressed like this the first few days, before your old friend group had adopted you, but you found yourself weirdly insecure now.

“absolutely, you can”, the redhead was quick to reassure, “it looks great.”

this time he was able to control himself from being embarrassing and spewing out the first compliments that came to his mind, even though it was hard when you looked… hot like that. you’d been really pretty before, but that was the vibe usually, pretty. the only other time that you’d been hot was at that damned party where he’d never gotten to enjoy the time with you, so this was a first, in a way. and that you used to just look like this on the daily had his thoughts race, a few wanting to go in directions they shouldn’t be going, but he caught himself and forced them back to how glad he was that he was the one who got to watch you do your makeup in the morning, how he’d gotten to pick your outfit or dye your hair.

“you sure? i haven’t done it like this in ages.”

now you were looking up at him curiously, scanning his face for any sign of lying, but he was sure. you looked great, and if he had the right to he’d show you off to anyone that cared and even those that didn’t.

“i can do yours too”, you teased, but then he was actually considering it, and a few minutes later you found yourself sitting across him on the floor, leaning in close trying to figure out how to decently apply eyeshadow to monolids.

“i’m sorry if it looks bad”, you apologised, though there was no need to, not for him - no matter what you’d do, he’d love it.

“eyeliner too?”, because you weren’t sure just how alt boy-adjacent he wanted to look, and since he couldn’t feel your hands on his face so he wasn’t running risk of ruining any makeup he nodded.

“okay, this is going to be weird. keep your eyes closed for now, i’ll tell you when to open”, mingi listening like a well-behaved puppy, keeping them close while you drew the line on his top lids, then opening and barely flinching when you pulled on the skin beneath his eyes to get to apply the eyeliner to the bottom lid, looking carefully to see whether or not you’d done a good job, and repeating the same with the other eye.

“now you look like a real bad boy”, you told him proudly once you were pleased, and handed him the mirror so he could check himself.

“you need to do this more often”, the giant sweetheart let you know, “i look really handsome like this.”

“as if you don’t usually”, you dismissed his hidden attempt at self-deprecation, “but i can do that, if you want me to.”

if you hadn’t been so close you might have missed the smile he tried to suppress because he felt a little ridiculous about it, but you noticed, and it made you smile, too.

“i can’t decide if i want to look like this daily or just on special occasions”, mingi mused, looking at himself in the mirror again. he didn’t know why exactly he felt so much more handsome because of a little eyeshadow and -liner, but he did. maybe because, despite your worries about being completely lost when you were trying to do his makeup, you actually knew what you were doing.

“you can’t rub your eyes now though, or you’ll look like a raccoon”, you warned him, because you had a feeling that he hadn’t actually thought about that yet.

“i probably need to bring some makeup wipes” - the one thing he knew existed and also the name of - “just in case.”

“got you”, handing him the entire package, seeing how you knew not to touch your face and they’d dry out if you handed him single ones. he smiled gratefully, pushing them next to his bag so he’d remember them later even if he was too lazy to get up right now. then, he pulled you against him as he leaned against the bed, and you stayed hugging like this until it was time to get breakfast, talking about everything and nothing.

//

the day was spent surprising everyone you saw with your makeover, the boys being first, seemingly more surprised by mingi than by you, even though you looked a lot more different than he did. but they liked the look, they assured, sending teasing messages to their private group chat as soon as you’d left for university, telling mingi that it did seem like he had a thing for alt girls when he even let you put makeup on him.

then, on the train, the tall, now very intimidating redhead held your hand, staring down everyone who dared to send you weird looks. not that that was needed - you’d dealt with judgmental glares before, when this was your daily attire, and you knew how to handle them, but the gesture was still appreciated.

at university you were much more grateful for him being there to stare people down, or more specifically, a certain group of people that seemed even less pleased now that you weren’t even trying to adhere to their rules for dressing anymore. you’d fully distanced yourself in the last three and a half weeks, and they weren’t happy about it. but mingi towered next to you, a protective and somewhat threatening presence, making it known that he’d be there to finish any shit that they’d start. and it was obvious, from the look of determination in his eyes, who would win.

you were sad to have to leave him for class, but that was made up for when you came to the lunch table and mingi had somehow managed to acquire liquorice - most likely through magic, because you’d found this impossibly hard yourself, so you’d given up on this childhood snack in right after you’d moved out from home after high school.

“where’d you get this?”, voice and expression clearly displaying your surprise, and he grinned proudly.

“i found out that it’s apparently really common in finland, and then i looked up foreign food stores, and then i sent the boys to look for this. i hope it’s the right kind.”

you grabbed the little box, trying to not be too touched because you’d need the makeup wipes you’d given him otherwise, and found that there was a little folded note attached to the lid that did not seem to belong there.

you carefully removed it, unfolding it, and it got really hard to not be too touched when you read what the sweetheart next to you had written.

y/n,

i know you pretend you don’t mind, but i can tell you really miss finland sometimes, and while i can’t bring you there i can try to bring a little finland to you. hopefully this helps fill your heart with warmth the way you do for me. and if it does, i know where to get it now, so i can get you a monthly supply if it would make you happy! if you just smile that bright smile of yours again, it’s worth it.

terveisin,

mingi

you focused on the fact that he’d used the kind of ending phrase you’d use for business enquiries, because if you’d focus too much on his sweet message you’d be sobbing in no time.

“mingi?”, you tried to catch his attention, not knowing that his eyes hadn’t left your face for even a second while you’d read it, “terveisin isn’t how i’d end a letter to you.”

“is it rude?” panic in his eyes, and you quickly reassured him.

“no, no! it’s just kind of formal. but thank you, a lot.” the last words quiet and full of genuine gratitude, which made him squeeze your leg right above the knee to show you that he’d heard you, not wanting to make the situation awkward for either of you.

“anytime.” and he meant it, because your smile when you’d seen the liquorice and read the note and the raw emotion you were trying to hide right now showed him that the letter was both appreciated and very much worth it. so he’d write you more little notes, whenever he had something to say, wanting to see that smile again. as he said in the note, the bright smile of yours made whatever hassle he’d have to go through worth it.

despite the warmth and emotions coursing through the two of you’s veins right now you were glad when wooyoung spoke up, asking just what mingi had chased the boys through the entirety of seoul for just so he could get it for you.

“you want to try? it’s kind of salty”, you asked while holding the little box towards the others, offering each of them to try if they wanted to.

they all accepted, though the reactions were mixed - some seemed to have a very strong aversion, and their reactions made you giggle, a cute sound in stark contrast to your harsh exterior, a sound that only made the redhead fall for you more whenever he heard it.

“you make fun of me for not being able to eat spicy when this isn’t even real salmiakki!”, you teased, glad to finally have the grounds to do so.

the ones you called out grumbled but accepted their fate, choosing to eat their lunch instead.

//

the next two days continued similarly, except on friday your little note was a reservation for the cinema date that your teddy bear owed you, and you rolled your eyes at him, though smiling at him with your still red lips - you hadn’t yet dared to do what you most liked to do, something your old friends had called the kim possible lip when you’d first met them, a dark colour on the top lip and a brighter one painting the bottom one, even though a certain redhead had tried to convince you to do it, and he would try again for the date today.

“what time?”, and because the boys had gotten used to mingi trying to win your heart and because he might just use them to get everything to be perfect and figure out what would be most to your liking - something he didn’t see as cheating the “it has to be authentically you” request, because his ideas were still his, he just asked them whether or not he’d make a total fool of himself, something he’d do about any other girl, too - they didn’t even question it anymore, because the two of you had frequently agreed on the time for your study session at the lunch table, too, even before he had started openly trying to make you fall for him.

“depends on the movie”, an answer that should’ve been obvious to you because of course you’d have to decide on a movie before you’d go if you didn’t want to risk waiting for ages until a fitting movie started playing.

you chose the movie right there, with some of the boys being annoying and chiming in, giving their (obviously very professional) opinions, seonghwa texting mingi while the others were causing chaos, lucky that you weren’t using his but your phone to check the timetables because otherwise seonghwa would have mercilessly embarrassed his friend.

[good cop]: pick horror so you can comfort her

[mingi]: absolutely not.

technically, the idea wasn’t bad, if you weren’t so horribly, awfully, incredibly scared of horror movies and if the giant didn’t prioritise your feelings over a poor attempt at getting closer to you. so, instead, you picked something that, based on the reviews, was somewhat dramatic, but with some humorous scenes as well, and of course, romance, because there really wasn’t any movie without at least a hint of romance.

once that was done and lunch was eaten, you decided to go home, each to their own place, to get ready for the evening. while you were texting san, who had become your second-best friend, your date for the night had gathered everyone else in his room to help him decide what to wear, because he wanted something that was casual, but not too casual, something that showed that he’d put effort in, but not too much effort, and something that would match with you, at which point san was forcibly added to his group of fashion advisors because he knew what you would wear, even though he wouldn’t show anyone else because it was supposed to be a surprise, because that was how dates worked.

so, without his consent, san had become the line of indirect communication between his two red-haired friends, telling you that mingi would love whatever you’d wear and telling mingi just how much black he should add to his outfit and how much of a bad boy he should be, then telling you that your date wanted to wear makeup but had failed horribly when he’d tried to apply it himself so you’d have to plan some time for that, and telling mingi that you said that was fine, that you could do that, feeling like a poor excuse of a messenger pigeon when the two of you could technically just text each other yourselves.

the outfit decisions worked out well, probably largely owed to san’s efforts, with the two of you looking like you were there together but not too obviously trying to match. both of you were dressed in all black, with you wearing bright green fishnets and a bright green print on your shirt to contrast both the black of your clothes and the red hair because, while you didn’t care much about the colours you wore going well with each other since everything went well with black, you wanted to look good for mingi on your first real date.

it seemed to work, because despite obviously looking like a bad boy when you opened the door for him with black ripped jeans and a leather jacket you were pretty certain he’d borrowed from one of his friends his expression was that of a victorian schoolboy who saw a naked knee for the first time in his life, surprised, but not unpleasantly so.

“you’ll get some green, too, don’t worry”, you pretended to reassure him (it was teasing, actually, your tone was a teasing one), and soon after he was wearing bright green eyeshadow matching the one adorning your own eyes.

the trip to the cinema was weirder for him than for you, because you were used to being stared at and looking intimidatingly alternative, but he wasn’t used to looking like a bad boy if he wasn’t going to a party, the baddest thing about him being his red hair that, when it was fading to a pale-ish pink-orange shade, just made him look adorable. so while you were relaxed he was nervously playing with your fingers, something you didn’t mind in the slightest, but something he stopped once you got to the cinema and he bought the tickets and the snacks to go with the movie.

you’d chosen sweet churros and both sweet and cheese-flavoured popcorn, the cheese flavour mainly because you were curious about how it tasted and mingi assured that if you didn’t like it he would eat it. then, two large colas (he meant it when he said he’d get you all the snacks in the world), before you moved to your seats, completely packed because he was just like that.

he was shy to hold your hand during the movie, strangely, because this time it very much felt like a romantic thing when before that it had more been a friend thing, even though he did have feelings for you. he’d done it to pull you along with him, or just because he felt like it, but he felt like if he held your hand now, in the dark cinema, it would very obviously be a romantic gesture, and he wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable with that. this was only your second date, and the first one had been dyeing your hair, something that maybe didn’t even really count, so he was incredibly uncertain.

but then, as the cliché went, your hands brushed against each other as you reached for the popcorn - you wanted to try the cheese flavour, and he wanted some sweet popcorn, and the respective flavour was on the end farther away from the one who wanted it -, and mingi took it as a sign to stop being a baby and just hold your hand, though he asked first in case he’d stop you from eating or just plain made you uncomfortable if he just held it.

“can i, uh…”, and then he went to grab it (though he didn’t yet, his fingers lightly brushing against yours) rather than finishing the question, because it was embarrassing to ask about holding your hand out loud, for some reason, “do this?”

he was adorable, his cute awkward behaviour causing you to smile in the darkness, and you did grab his hand that was still shy to hold yours. he smiled, too, a happy grin that was half illuminated by the screen, and it seemed like he was still grinning by the time the movie was over, the only moments where he hadn’t been grinning those when he put food in his mouth or drank a little.

the redhead brought you home, too, insisting that that was how one did after a date, even though you wouldn’t have complained about it either way. and he asked to stay the night, because he saw that something was a little off and he wanted to be there in case something was upsetting you that you’d like to talk about.

since it was already kind of late the two of you immediately got changed - after weeks of being your best friend he’d finally stored one of his pyjamas at your place so he wouldn’t have to be shirtless whenever he was spontaneously staying over -, cuddling up in bed together and you trying to pretend that there was nothing on your mind.

“what’s wrong?”

you’d been surprisingly quiet in his arms since you got to your place, been quiet ever since the cinema, and of course he’d notice, even though you’d tried your best not to show anything.

“i don’t know, it feels stupid.”

the giant sweetheart turned you around gently so he could look at you and saw the obvious frown on your face, trying to smooth the lines on your forehead with his thumb.

“doesn’t matter even if it is stupid. what’s wrong?”

you were still frowning, and he was still trying to smooth the lines, though mainly as a calming movement to maybe cheer you up.

“i just realised we just went on a date. so that’s my first date and, i don’t know, i’m scared you won’t want to go on any more and this is like… i don’t know, i told you it’s stupid.”

his movements were so gentle, you wanted to stay in his arms forever.

“it’s not stupid, y/n. and i do still want to go on more, if you’d want to, as well. i just don’t want you to regret it. do you regret it?”

a question mingi couldn’t stop himself from asking, though he tried to not show how nervous the potential answer made him.

“no. maybe, i don’t know.” and because you saw his face fall you elaborated, because you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. “i don’t regret spending the time with you or anything, and i don’t regret going on a date with you. i guess it’s more, i’m scared that you’ll figure out you don’t like me, and then one of the firsts on my bucket list is already… gone sounds weird, but i don’t know how to say it better. i kind of want first date, first relationship, first kiss, first time, first house, first pet, first baby, all those things, i want to stay with the same person. when i’m with someone i don’t want it to just be a temporary thing.”

then, as if you’d realised what you just said: “that doesn’t mean you have to be with me if you don’t want to! i’m sorry, this sounds like so much pressure, i’m not saying don’t even try unless you want to marry me someday, except maybe i am. i don’t know. it’s all hard to figure out.”

moving closer to him so you could hide your face in his neck and he could rest his head on top of yours, because you didn’t want to look at him now, you still thought how you felt was stupid, but the redhead was thinking about your words.

he most definitely was not ready for marriage, or a house or a baby, but he knew marriage at least was something he wanted for his own future, and if it were with the person he loved, and if you were the person he loved, why not stay with you? the thought of having a future with you made him feel strange, but not in a bad way. it was scary to think about having as big of a future, with a wife and a house and kids, but it wasn’t scary to think about being with you. the only scary thing about that was thinking about not being good enough for you, but you being scared to dump him because you didn’t want to have ‘wasted’ a first if you were just going to leave him after.

“it’s okay”, he reassured, stroking your hair now, “i’m not going to talk about marriage, but i wouldn’t mind being with you for a while, as long as you can stand me”, a joke to hopefully make you feel a little better, but it was also how he felt, secretly, scared that you’d be the one to get tired of him.

“if it helps, we don’t have to go on dates?”, though he wanted to so bad, he wanted the time you spent with him to be special and have a special name, but he even more so wanted you to feel comfortable, “or, how do i explain… you know those package deals? so we’ll call it a date for now, but if you end up not liking me” - he didn’t even consider that he might not like you, because he knew he was in way too deep already - “we can just pretend it wasn’t dates. it’s only dates if you get the whole thing after. a free trial period?”

and while his explanation was a little silly you were really grateful, because this seemed like a good compromise, seemed like something that could work for you. you did want to be with him (though not yet, you were still worried), but you didn’t want either of you to feel weird about it no matter the outcome, so this was good.

“thank you, teddy bear”, using the nickname as you nuzzled even closer against him because you were so grateful for him and for how understanding he was and had always been of your struggles with this.

“of course. let’s sleep now, hm?”

so you did, with him hugging you tightly and his face pressed against your hair, refusing to let go of you until he had to.

//

the sweet red-haired giant continued being more adorable than good for you, planning two to three incredibly cute dates per week, the next one a picnic on sunday where he brought you some flowers he’d picked on the sidewalk because he thought they were pretty, then a library date at seoul metropolitan library on wednesday because he’d done some googling and apparently there was an international collection, and he wanted to see if there were books in your languages so you could read for him, on saturday he took you to the color pool museum you for some reason had never been to yet and loved, and on the monday after that he went thrift shopping with you, having done some googling again to find alternative thrift shops for all your alt girl dreams. he always asked if you were free and if his plans were fine with you, which was always the case, and you fell for him harder and harder with all his cute dates and the thought he obviously put into all of them. on tuesday, after your afternoon classes, he told you he had something planned for you at his place if you were free, and you joined him excitedly, curious to see what was waiting for you this time.

though the first thing he did was tell you to get changed, giving you the hair dye shirt and a pair of old sweatpants that you could tell no longer fit him, because they almost fit you, and when both of you were dressed he told you you were going to paint with your fingers now.

and you did, on the living room floor with cut-up trash bags covering the wood, laying on your stomachs and, in the end, being covered in paint from when you just couldn’t control yourselves and had to paint the other one’s face.

the date after that was on saturday, having ordered hongjoong to be your private teacher because mingi wanted to tie dye shirts with you but had no idea how to do it, unlike his smaller friend. so the second-oldest taught you how to do it, carefully giving instructions, and when it seemed like you’d figured it out he left the two of you alone to do lovebird things.

the tall boy found out a lot about you through these dates, like that you preferred speaking swedish over speaking finnish because swedish had never been a language of punishment, instead it had been some kind of refuge because your father didn’t speak it. through this he found out that your father had most definitely not treated you with the kindness you’d have deserved, something that made his heart ache and had him promising himself that from now on he’d be there to protect you, he’d be there and he’d do his best to keep anyone from ever hurting you again. he also found out that you struggled financially when you told him you preferred thrifting both for ethical reasons and because your wallet couldn’t afford much else, and he took a mental note of trying to pay for small things for you when he could because he could most definitely afford it, and any won you saved would help you in the long run. he found out that you’d claim your favourite colour to be rainbow because you couldn’t decide on just one and didn’t want to hurt the other colours’ feelings (which was how he’d come up with the tie dye idea), something he found adorable, and he found out that you were good at drawing but terrible at painting, and that you refused to draw with anything but grey pencils. he loved all the little details he found out about you, all of them only making you more perfect in his eyes, more deserving of his complete adoration.

“i want one of the shirts you made”, you interrupted his adoring thoughts, and he looked at you confused.

“why that?”

“your shirts are always really soft, and they’re so big. perfect to sleep in. am i wearing shorts underneath, am i not wearing shorts underneath, the world may never know.”

mingi smiled down at the shirt he was currently working on at your joke, deciding that he would work on this one with a lot of love and that you’d get this one, then, because if you wanted a shirt from him then you’d get a shirt from him, and he’d try to make sure it was a good one. life was a little unfair, though, because he’d never get to wear one of your shirts without stretching it out impossibly much.

“you’ll get this one”, he let you know his decision, “but one day i want one of yours.”

“you could get one right now if you weren’t so tall”, whining a little because his height made life a little difficult for you sometimes, mainly when you wanted to hug him or when he teased you by randomly lifting you up while your arms were around his neck, feet dangling in the air until you’d give in and wrap your legs around him so he could carry you wherever he wanted to go.

“maybe you just have to grow”, he whined back, and you scoffed, choosing not to reply to that and instead giving him the cold shoulder for maybe one minute, until he asked you if you liked the colours because you would just have to accept them either way.

“you really wouldn’t make another one if i don’t like this?”, you asked him with big round eyes, and he cursed internally for being so absolutely soft for you, because instead of teasing you back he told you that he’d make you as many as you wanted, until you’d be happy.

“you’re sweet” was your reply, smiling at him, which caused him to lower his head and pretend to focus on the shirt he was dyeing when he was really just trying to hide his embarrassment.

//

hongjoong had greatly approved of your tie dye projects, and a day after the initial dyeing you’d stolen the shirt that was meant for you, choosing it as your pyjama shirt now and near refusing to take it off as you spent another night at the boys’ place. while he’d never admit it, the tall redhead was happy to see that, because while he’d never actually owned or worn the shirt it was still in a way his clothing that you’d claimed for yourself, and he wanted to see you wear his clothes more, wear them casually, wear your boyfriend’s clothes. and, as weird as it might have been, you wearing this big shirt was what made him not want to wait any longer to ask you out, really ask you out. it had been three weeks since the awkward and, in all honesty, less than perfect confession, and though he didn’t want to rush you he just really wanted to be able to call you his. so, he decided, he’d ask you the next day, during lunch.

what he hadn’t anticipated, though, was how nervous he’d be, fiddling with the hem of his shirt the entire lunch break as he waited for the perfect moment to give you the note he’d written that morning, rewritten like seven times and with the help of some slight googling and trying to write it as prettily as possible, especially the latin letters. though he didn’t know that you kept all his notes in a little box and read them sometimes when you felt anxious he still wanted the notes to be perfect, because you deserved perfect. especially when he was quite literally asking to date you.

but then lunch was almost over and yunho kicked his leg because he was being a coward and he yelped out and now he most definitely had your attention, and now there was no going back.

“i have something for you”, voice quiet and shy and, much to his dismay, not only your but also the boys’ eyes were on the two of you now. still, he handed you the little paper, starting to ramble as soon as the paper had changed owner.

“i know this looks like you don’t have a choice, but i just didn’t want to be the one to put the no right there, so i just added a comments section, but you can say no, of course, it’s fine, don’t worry about it, i’ll still be your friend and all, but i just felt like asking. you can also press snooze and i’ll ask again somewhen else, or give it back later if you need to think a little, everything is fine, i-”

“mingi”, you interrupted his nervous rambling, “will you let me read what you wrote before you worry so much?”

your words seemed kind of harsh, but your voice held a softness to it that was reserved for the tall baby in front of you only, so he knew you weren’t annoyed at his barely coherent rambling. you just wanted to calm him down, because he was obviously nervous.

“oh, yeah, of course, sorry.” staring at his hands which were now playing with each other in his lap, though not because he was hurt but because he was embarrassed, not wanting to see your reaction, which was a shame, because he missed the absolutely adoring smile that made its way to your face when you unfolded the little note. he’d even looked up the word for ‘girlfriend’ in swedish for you, and though you couldn’t be sure if that was why you suspected he’d chosen swedish because he knew you’d always been closer to your swedish-speaking mother than your finnish-speaking father.

will you be my flickvän? - mingi

[0] ja

[0] extra ja

comments:

the note was adorable, with a few sweet very mingi drawings, and you didn’t have to think twice about your reply, telling him to turn around and lean over so you could use his back as a surface to write on. and write you did, obviously filling out the comment section, making him nervous. then, you handed him the note, smiling before heading off to class, leaving him to stare at you dumbfounded while he wondered just what you’d written, but needing to wait until class was over to talk to you about it.

[astrarche-x]

I read “Fangirl” by Rainbow Rowell after I finished 2 books I got for Christmas. It was staring at me from my sister’s shelf and I’ve heard something good about this book, Rowell is also quite famous YA author, so I decided to give it a try. 

It certainly didn’t match my expectations; in fact, my disappointment grew with every page and I grew tired of the heroine, Cath - an introverted first year college student and fanfic writer-  and other characters.

Why so?

- At first, I thought that snippets of Cath’s fanfics are a cool addition to the book, because it’s such a crucial part of this character, and I also thought that they will be somehow related to the events happening in-universe. But they weren’t! They didn’t help me as a reader to understand Cath, didn’t expand my understanding of the events of the plot, didn’t really give me any “story within a story” because they were so fragmented (I know there is a whole book about Simon Snow, but that’s not relevant now, is it?) and I already felt like I knew Cath’s writing style after like 3 examples, so idk why there were so many.

- I felt like the characters don’t develop at all. And what’s the point of the story if it’s not character development? In the end of the book, the only thing different from the starting point is the fact that the heroine has a boyfriend. She isn’t more open, she’s still talking to like 2-3 people (and writing is not like a movie, adding a character doesn’t cost you money, right?) and it’s not like those relationships change a lot. Cath and her roommate Reagan? They form a bond in the middle part of the book and it stays the same. Wren, Cath’s twin sister? They lose contact during the plot and Wren has a new friend to prove she’s a separate person, but eventually they make amends and sisters are together again. The other friend disappears. No big talk about being separate people but still needing each other, no reflecting on that in any way; they make amends and then Wren is just there, spending a lot of time with Cath like her own life never happened. Relationship with dad and mum? Stays the same, even though they were written in a way that suggests big plot points.

- Levi, Cath’s boyfriend. He doesn’t have an inner life. He’s just a smiling, nice guy with learning difficulties. But Cath can always feel safe with him and count on him; honestly, how is he different from her ex? Also some can say that Cath and Levi were cute tohether and they kind of were, but for me it was too much sugar and when their relationship became the focal point of the plot I couldn’t take it anymore. How many times a writer can describe the same physical features with exactly the same words? Like yeah, we get it, the character is in love, change the subject.

(Also his attempts at unneccessary chivalry... ugh. Not cute).

- Nick from the library. He was actually the guy I was shipping Cath with (and myself as well, if I had the chance). They had so much chemistry! But it was also strongly hinted at that he won’t be the endgame; in fact, I don’t really see the point of his existence as a character. He’s Cath’s crush, but after he stops playing this role, he’s mentioned only twice and then dropped completely. But the point of him being the crush and the writing buddy/rival is not even relevant! It’s not reflected in Cath in any way except that she’s a bit sad.

- Cath doesn’t develop as a writer. Actually, after reading a few sentences about how writing is so important for Cath etc, I thought that I would see more of her as a writer, but mostly it looks like “...and she wrote 5000 words that night”. No description of creative process. Talk about how her life influences her writing: 2 times (at the end of the book). Pressure from readers who? I don’t know her. Also I was really surprised that she said “I only ever want to write fanfiction, I want nothing of my own!” - like... who would say that? Sure, they are people who just write fanfiction as a hobby, but there are others who start with fanfic and then create their own stories, so if Cath is an established fanfic writer and went on to study English lit and take creative writing class, then having her say something like this sounds super fake. 

- Cath herself was a boring protagonist. And I’m not saying this because she was an introvert. Lots of introverts make interesting protagonists; take, for example, Offred from The Handmaid’s tale. Cath is boring not only because she literally sits in her room and cries for like half of the book (giving me Rodion Raskolnikov vibes and he annoyed me like hell), but also because so little of her inner life is described in detail. Like, c���mon, I’ve opened this book, I want to know what’s going on in her head. But instead of paragraphs of her thoughts, we are only given a sentence, maybe two or three. And one of them sounds often like “she thought about all the reasons she had to dislike their mother” but then none of said reasons is listed, making this sentence effectively worthless. Very often Cath’s remarks about other people are repeated; I don’t even want to count how many times she noticed that Levi smiled a lot. And then she noticed noticing it; and then she noticed him smiling even more times. Seriously that’s his only feature? (That and his hair). Because this makes the heroine very unobservant; I don’t want to look at the world through her eyes, because it’s nothing there to see. 

- Cath as a (titular) fangirl: she doesn’t really interact with the fandom during the course of the actions in other way than writing and that’s... unusual? Who limits themselves to only one form of fan content? I know she had merch and fanart, but she doesn’t interact with other fans (except for her sister and a random stranger). She also mentions having internet friends at the very beginning, which I assume would be very likely for a fanfic author of her status. Then her roommate says “internet friends are not real” (yes. literally.) and Cath’s internet friends are not mentioned again, because, you know, internet friends are irrelevant to your real life. Generally this book makes it look like belonging to a fandom was about the merch you own and maybe writing your fanfic, if that’s what you use as a coping mechanism for real life. No talk of reading other fanfics, visiting sites like Tumblr or other blogs, no interaction with other fans, no conventions, stuff like this. It made fandom look like something for sad and lonely people, and while it kind of is, it’s also a source of joy and satisfacton for many; in Cath’s case, I only saw it as a straw to which a drowning man clutches. 

(Also I found it kinda weird that sex in this book is like Schrodinger’s cat: existent and nonexistent at the same time. Does Cath write erotic scenes? I guess. Is it adressed? Yes. And then immediately dismissed in order not to talk about it. She also wants it and doesn’t want it at the same time, which is fine irl, but confusing in a book, especially when she doesn’t reflect at that confusion much). 

I thought I will see in Cath a glimpse of myself - first year of uni was also stressful for me (even though I’m certainly not an internet-famous writer). But she was almost extremely unrelatable. And then I started comparing “Fangirl”  with “Loveless” by Alice Oseman, which has very similar setting - first year, loneliness, outgoing roommate, introverted protagonist having trouble opening up, breaking of a sisterly bond, fanfiction (even though Georgia, the protagonist, only reads it). I’d recommend “Loveless” a lot more. You won’t get much talk of the writing process, but hey, you weren’t getting it anyway. You will be given queer characters instead.

My final thought was that I’m probably just too old for “Fangirl”. That it was written for 17-year-olds who are anxious about going to college. But my sister is 17-year-old who is anxious about going to university and she didn’t like this book either (this post is brought to you by our displeased brainstorming last night), so it’s probably just bad, shallow writing. 

[imastrangeone98]

Shopping Spree

(A/N: haha you thought it was a new chpt of lost and found? No! You get a stinking one shot, that's what you get!)

Lolol honestly I'm still coming up with ideas for the next chapter so I'm doing a one shot until I come up with something XD

Warning: if you hate shopping as much as I do, this is gonna be an eyesore XD

This takes place sometime before chpt 5 of my lost and found series

"Faith. Babe. Seriously. We need to get you some better clothes," Lady muttered as she ran a finger over her friend's ragged hoodie.

"But... but they're fine!" the nephilim protested weakly. "They're still clean, and they fit me... well, kind of."

"I know, but they're just so threadbare. And hot." Walking around her friend, she carefully scrutinized each piece- hoodie, jeans, sneakers. "It's only gonna get hotter here, and I don't want you melting into the pavement!"

"I... I don't have money," she said, a pitiful final attempt to dissuade Lady from taking her shopping.

"You let me worry about that," she reassured, sneaking a predatory look at Dante, who was oblivious to the whole thing. "At least let me get you a new shirt."

And Faith knew then and there that she had lost the battle.

[...]

"Try this on! It's cute!"

Faith's arms were now piled high with clothes. She began to wonder if she was just an excuse for Lady to splurge on pretty outfits.

Dante yawned in the corner, rubbing his eye while tapping his foot to the upbeat music playing throughout the store. "Are you done? I'm hungry."

"Not yet. She has to try them on." As she spoke, she nudged Faith towards the changing room. "Now go. Go forth and dress."

With a heavy sigh, she obeyed, slipping into the small room.

The male let out a soft groan. "C'mon, Lady. Just let her wear what she wants; it's not hurting anyone."

"Trust me. She'll thank me later. There's a heatwave sometime this month, and I don't want her sweating to death. Also, thank you for actually wearing a shirt and not one of your stupid titty strap jackets."

"It's not a- it's not a titty strap!" he spluttered. "It's a gun harness!"

"Yeah, whatever. It still looks stupid. You really need a wardrobe change-"

"Holy shit," he whispered, as if in awe of something.

Unaware, she rattled on, "For a guy who's practically waist deep in debt, your obsession with red coats is-"

"So... what do you think?"

The sweet voice behind her caused her to turn around... and she gasped.

The soft, white dress flowed just past Faith's knees, the delicate gold flower designs accentuating the gentle aura that always surrounded her.

She looked like an angel.

The two companions stared at her for what felt like hours. It was to the point where she began to squirm under their gaze.

"Is it... not good?" she asked, shyly tugging at the hem of the dress.

Dante mumbled something, his face bright red. But he shook his head and gave her a thumbs up.

Lady, on the other hand, couldn't stop the compliments from pouring out. "It's perfect! It's just the right size, it's not too flimsy, and it matches your vibe!" She dramatically grabbed her friend by the shoulders and repeatedly shook her. "Please tell me you'll keep it! Please!"

Faith's brain still felt like it was rattling in her head. "Okay. Just... don't do that again, please."

[...]

They had traversed over ten shops within two hours. Faith had been rather conservative in her choices, much to the shopping lover's chagrin, but she still walked away with an impressive hoard of shorts ("Ripped shorts are always stylish," Lady had reassured her), floaty T-shirts, a dress or two, a pair of flip-flops, and- on Faith's insistence- a red flannel button up (which Dante seemed particularly happy about).

And while Lady gleefully pushed each bill into their male companion's hands, he didn't seem to mind all that much, simply taking it without a word despite Faith's constant protests that she would find a way to pay for it.

"It's fine," he said with a gentle pat on her head. "Just stick around and wear the stuff; that's payment enough."

"But..." she stammered, only to get a finger pressed to her mouth.

"No buts." With a grin, he slung an arm around her shoulders. "Tell you what. You manage to get through the rest of the trip without worrying over finance, and I'll buy you some cinnamon buns later. Deal?"

She would've argued with him, had she not remembered the smell of the sweet cinnamon glaze as they walked past the shop. Her mouth watered.

That shut her up.

At some point, their growling stomachs became too loud to ignore. They began their trek to the food court, only for Dante to point out a box to them.

"Check it out. A photo booth," he snickered. "I love those things. So cheesy."

Faith looked at it. "I've never been in one before."

He gave her a look. "Wait. What? Seriously?"

She shook her head. A small frown tugged at her lips.

"...Alright, we're changing that. Come on!" Grabbing her hand, he practically dragged her to the machine, where the trio squished themselves trying to fit in the minuscule box.

"Jesus, what were they thinking, making it so tiny?" he grumbled when an elbow smacked his cheek.

"I thought they were mainly for couples," Faith squeaked.

His blue eyes widened. "...Yeah, well, they really should take people like us into consideration, too." His voice sounded like it went up an octave; she wondered if he was just tired.

Once they finally got situated (Faith ended up sitting partially on their laps), Dante pressed some buttons on the screen and announced, "Alright, smile!"

Snap! Snap! Snap!

During each pause, they made some kind of funny pose- tongues out, then bunny ears, then a simple one with their arms around one another.

Faith laughed at some point over her friends' ridiculousness. And out of the corner of his eye, Dante watched her with a wide smile on his face.

Snap!

"Is that the last one?" Lady grumbled. "It'd better be; I'm starving!" She started pushing them out of the booth.

"Wait, the photos!" the small girl cried out.

"I got it!" He snatched up the strips of paper, sneaking a peek at them before shoving them in his pocket with a grin.

"Hey, stop hogging the goods!" Lady tried to shove her hand into it, only to get pushed aside by him.

"Quit it! I'll give you one later!" Before anyone could argue, he threw an arm around each of the girls' shoulders, steering them towards the food stalls. "I still need to buy those cinnamon buns."

"...You're gonna share those with us, right?"

"Fine."

That shut them up.

------------------------------------------------------

A/N: it's so dumb and fluffy but hey it's not like anyone's gonna read it right?? Hahaha... ha...

Anyway I'm pretty sure Mando is up next. Look forward to it my nonexistent fans!!

[stateofgrace-acoustic]

lover - first song ranking & thoughts

first of all i just need to say i legitimately don’t feel ‘meh’ about a single song on this album. on any other album. i always had one or two songs i was just kind of ‘take it or leave it’ about. but Lover really did that - they’re all amazing and wonderful. but here’s an attempt at an order of how much i love them!

18. it’s nice to have a friend

this really reminds me of you are in love in the way it recounts all the small gestures and steps involved in becoming close to somebody. it’s really cute and at the perfect space on the album, leading to daylight. not a mindblowing song or anything, but the vibe fits onto lover really well. i’m glad that it’s here 

17. you need to calm down

yeah, i cooled down on this one a little bit. it’s fun and the message is important, but me! is the better single tbh. still though, the feeling of empowerment this gives me over my nonexistent online haters is wonderful. and i love the attitude of the song of just looking at the assholes who live their entire lives putting energy into hating people and just being like....why are you like this. it’s pathetic. calm the hell down. so needed in our current debate culture

16. me!

a real grower! taylor and brendon urie have such good chemistry, tbh that’s really the backbone of the song. it’s just a really nice carefree spring/summertime self love song, a perfect soundtrack for when you feel happy and content with yourself. 

15. the man

just dropping the complete truth on us with this one. i’ve wanted taylor to make this song for years (and i know she said she’s been wanting to but just never found the right words!) the bridge really elevates this too. and it’s sad how relatable the entire song is in literally every aspect of professional (and personal) life for women. i don’t think it’s quite as strong as it could have been, but still really solid

14. i think he knows

this is like the fun version of dress. that’s all i got to say. just as explicit, but this time around it’s super cheeky and i love it. also goals of self confidence if i’ve ever seen them

13. paper rings

the joyful energy this has!! just makes you smile and want to dance immediately, a wonderful wholesome happy bop

12. false god

listen.....this is special. i absolutely think this is the most experimental song on the album, both in terms of the music (is that a saxophone in the bg?? it’s almost got a jazzy vibe? completely uncomparable to anything she’s ever done and still so distinctly Taylor), but also with the lyrics, where she goes into the love = religion theme which honestly....as a Florence + the Machine and Hozier fan, i don’t even need to go into how much of a vibe that is. I couldn’t have imagined it working so well for Taylor though, but honestly, this song feels perfectly brooding, summertimey, melancholy, - it’s almost like taking the darker underside of Cruel Summer and exploring it in depth! this is very much a song i need to be in a Specific Mood to really appreciate, but it’s damn well made

11. afterglow

i love the maturity of this. not just the apologizing for picking a fight, but explaining how it came to be - at the end, from a place deep seated anxiety. ‘it’s all me, in my head’ (those high notes are beautiful) you can really feel how sorry she is. at the same time, the song sounds like something bigger, like an anthem - almost like that place high above that she’s trying to elevate them to.

10. i forgot that you existed

SO MUCH FUN i keep repeating that but that’s just the mood of this album tbh, playful and mature at the same time. this song is just like, when you’re over someone but you just can’t help yourself and have to throw shade one last time before moving on. i love the bouncy beat!!

9. lover

this song is literally the feeling of ‘home’ in music. so cozy, comfortable, blissful. dreamy. perfect title track. also completely timeless - i think this is one of those songs that we will look back on in years as a classic in her catalogue, a song you will always want to play again

8. the archer

this was my definite favorite of the pre released songs. anxiety, doubts, the way they all just keep coming back and eating at you, it’s described so perfectly and painfully. and the production really makes it sound like you’re in a separate space from reality, just stuck in your head trying to find a way forward, to soothe yourself. the ‘they see right through me / i see right through me’ transition in the bridge is fantastic and keeps giving me chills. so much personal connection to this one

7. soon you’ll get better

feels weird to even rank this but......just wow. the harmonies with the dixie chicks are so beautiful, and the way the lyrics talk about the feeling between denial and desperate hope, the transition from “because you have to” to “because I have to” - I have to cling to this hope, or i won’t make i - it completely broke my heart. and the fact that Taylor can conjure all these complex emotions with just a guitar and a few words is incredible. i’m so so sorry for them and i wish all the best for Andrea with my entire heart. 

6. london boy

i already see people underappreciating this, what is going on??? there are multiple cute bouncy joyful songs on this album but this is my favorite because it’s just got a fantastic flow and melody, and i love all of the references to places and dialect specific words and it’s just so wholesome?? but what really makes this is (once again) the bridge. stick with ME im your QUEEN like a tennessEE stella mccartNEY, just the energy!! the fun!! excuse me while i listen to this every day for the rest of my life

5. miss americana & the heartbreak prince

okay, taylor’s brain in this one. i made a post talking about how this song has three layers - at first there’s the high school setting, then it references the ‘cancelling’ of Taylor’s public persona, but then it can also be seen as a comment on US politics and the whole climate of society right now. and it’s all tied together perfectly because high school is the perfect metaphor for this!! she’s basically saying we’re all behaving like immature school children, bullying each other for the stupidest reasons, mob mentality, stupid contests, fabricated stories made up to tear people down, and the feeling of loneliness but also fear and horror that comes with all that for the people who are the victims of it.....it’s literally all like high school in the worst way. i just love this concept, and the melody and production give me a little bit of a reputation vibe almost? which is perfect for the song, the dark dramatic vibe shows the feeling of fear most of all and that’s just....too real. 

4. death by a thousand cuts

........listen, i surely didn’t think that Taylor would write one of her best breakup songs in the year of our lord 2019, but here we are. it’s once again, the small moments she recounts. taking the long way home. the uncertainty if it will ever be fine again. and the bridge/second verse / whatever that part is but that entire part. ‘paper cuts from my paper thin plans’, excuse me. the fact that she wrote this about a movie where a couple breaks up after years really shows tbh, because it’s especially that kind of....not being able to find a part of yourself that isn’t influenced by the other person, that’s so horrible and makes moving on so painful. i also love the production which makes this sound so uptempo, contrasting the lyrics! idk the entire song just clicks into place for me

3. daylight

this is like a summary of the entire album (and with the reference to the past and especially red, it’s even connecting her entire discography together). it’s like the clean of this album, except this time around it feels more complex - all the subtle references to past mistakes, ghosts, that might not be so easy to wash away. i’ve already mentioned that i love about the album (and this song especially) how it doesn’t gloss over negative experiences but addresses them directly, like looking them in the eye and then saying ‘you don’t have the power to define me’. that’s what this song feels like - it’s not unabashedly celebratory, it’s actually quite melancholic, but also full of real healing, a feeling of peace and reconciliation. and the ‘i once believed love would be black and white / burning red, but it’s golden’.....excuse me.....how dare she

2. cornelia street

god, what a magical song. the kind of episodic buildup that Taylor excels at. the vibrancy of the production matching the vibrancy of the relationship as it develops, revolving around this one place in its multiple stages, and then the repeated, deep seated fear of losing all that. it’s just. ugh. what can i even say. and so so catchy. the “listen..” killed me. just like delicate, the vibe between fear and being drunk on happiness is so so well done.

1. cruel summer

oh yes. and here we have an absolute perfection of a pop song. incredible catchiness. smart, clever lyrics but also that underlying vibe of sadness and anxiety. seriously, the complexity this has?? and then that soaring bridge, the chaotic but beautiful but painful reality of all of it coming together. ‘i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’ idk this song just transcends everything for me friends. it’s like the vibe of out of the woods or maybe even style but the lyrics are even more sharp, they cut a little deeper, literally ‘summer’s a knife’. this is a song she only could’ve written influenced by reputation: there’s happiness but there’s that edge in it too. idk if anything i’m saying makes sense. i love this song so so so much. 

[kcwcommentary]

VLD3x04 – “Hole in the Sky”

3x04 – “Hole in the Sky”

I really want to like this episode, and there are a couple of small things that I do, but it hurts me how badly Allura is written.

The episode starts with the Castle Ship picking up some signal that’s spooking Allura and Coran. Coran says it’s a signal like Alfor’s ships used back in the day. Allura reacts, saying, “Could it be: Are we not the last Alteans alive?” Has she already forgotten that at the end of last season she found out that Haggar was Altean? So even if this signal ended up having nothing to do with any Alteans, she already knows she and Coran are not the only living Alteans. There hasn’t been anything shown so far to suggest that Allura has even told anyone, including Coran, that Haggar is Altean. One would think information that significant would be shared with the team.

They wormhole to find a ship that Allura says looks like one of Alfor’s deep space exploration vessels. (Given that the Galra Empire spans the entire universe, and given how easily the Castle Ship can wormhole easily across the universe, is there any such thing as “deep space” remaining unexplored?) Coran specifically identifies the commander of the ship, confirming the ship is Altean. The ship is stuck in some kind of special distortion, which is “radiating quintessence.” Quintessence is supposed to be some kind of life energy, so what’s generating that quintessence in significant enough quantities that this distortion can radiate it? The episode brings up the presence of this quintessence, but then does nothing with it. I know that the quintessence in the, for lack of a better word, space between realities is a thing in later episodes, but the presence of quintessence here in this episode is meaningless. They could have just held off on that detail until it became narratively relevant.

Voltron forms and heads to the ship. Voltron is “completely unaffected by the stress of the distortion” as it moves through the light to the other side, where they find the front of the ship. The Paladins board the ship. I’m surprised they just went fully into the rift as their first action. I would have thought they would have first boarded the ship from the main-reality side of the rift and explored there first. It’s like the plot skipped a step.

They float around on the ship, so there’s no gravity. Lights and artificial gravity turn on when Allura touches a control panel. They find a decayed corpse, which then prompts Allura to pull up some recording of the Altean who’s now a corpse. (Why is his corpse the only one on the ship?) He says they located “the second comet based on King Alfor’s information.” We eventually find out that it’s the same kind of “comet” that Voltron was made from. As I said back for 2x07 “Space Mall,” this is not a comet, despite the show calling it one. We know enough about comets to know they’re made of ice, not metal. It annoys me that the show ignores such basic, known science.

Two people jump out of an air duct, surprising the Paladins. One looks a lot like Shiro but with a different hairstyle. The other, looking and sounding a lot like Slav, says he will not let the “comet” fall into Altean hands. Keith pleads to the Shiro-looking guy, but he says, with quite an accent, that his name isn’t Shiro. Slav denies Lance’s claim that they rescued him from prison. Slav and Pidge simultaneously realize that each group is from a different reality.

Slav freaks out when his sensors detect more incoming Alteans. Slav and Sven flee. Slav’s use of Sven’s name is so quick, you could miss it. The Alteans enter the room, one of whom identifies Allura as “Empress.” In this reality, Allura defeated the Galra and established an Altean Empire 10,000 years ago.

Meanwhile, Lotor has been apparently observing Voltron’s actions regarding the rift. He’s hoping they’ll bring back the “comet” so that he can take it from them.

The alternate-Alteans keep mentioning the Altean Empire “spreading peace and stability throughout the universe.” It’s interesting that Allura buys into that propaganda so easily. Clearly, Allura does not have a problem with the governmental structure that is an Empire, since she knows these alternate-Alteans describe their government proudly as being an Empire. That Allura does not reject the idea of imperial domination here makes the idea that there could easily be an Allura who embraces the same form of dictatorial rule that Zarkon has employed seem possible. It even suggests that main-Allura could easily find herself in a situation where she’d willingly become such a ruler. She hasn’t once balked at hearing Altea and Empire put together.

Slav and Sven are outside the ship working on some plan.

Hunk, Pidge, Lance, and the male Altean discuss the state of their universe. The Altean points to the technology implanted in the brain of some large, muscular alien standing beside him. He says that the technology “saps the fighting force from our enemies, their will, you might say.” Finally, the Paladins start to realize that a universe-dominating Altean Empire might not be a good thing. Hunk identifies those who are subject to this technology as slaves. The Altean objects, saying, “They’re not slaves because they don’t have will. Slaves are always trying to escape or revolt. The Noncogs are content doing what they’re told.”

Keith, Allura, and the other alternate-Altean are also talking. Keith says, “But you’re taking away their free will.” Until he said this, I thought that the two groups of people were having different conversations. But with Keith saying this, I guess we’re supposed to assume that the female Altean has been telling Allura and Keith the same thing that the male Altean has been telling Hunk, Pidge, and Lance? If the female Altean has been telling Allura and Keith about their will-suppressing technology, why has Allura been standing there looking all happy until Keith makes his comment.

Even after, she continues to listen to the alternate-Altean as if the Altean Empire’s slavery doesn’t violate her character’s established morality. I guess we’re supposed to think that Allura is so overwhelmed by there being other Alteans in an alternate reality out of her grief of having lost her reality’s Alteans that her morality is temporarily up to debate? Allura has demonstrated a rigidity to how her morality manifests itself in her behavior before, so it’s hard for me to see her even slightly thinking there’s validity to the Altean Empire’s slavery.

Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are alone in a corridor. “Is anyone getting a strange vibe from these guys?” Lance says. “There’s definitely something off about these Alteans. Is it me, or did they pretty much scramble the big dude’s brain?” Hunk replies. Are you kidding me? I can’t believe they wrote this exchange. Lance and Hunk, though they are discussing the situation, are so casual about it. They’re acting like something is only slightly off about the Alteans, like these Alteans are mostly like regular Alteans but just slightly different. These Alteans have literally just told them that they have a universe-wide empire and that they use technology to take away people’s willpower. If that is slightly different than the main-Alteans, then main-Alteans are as frightening as the Galra Empire. I can’t believe this show wrote Lance and Hunk to be reacting this calmly and casually to having literally just had someone tell them they take away the willpower of anyone who stands in their way.

Sven and Slav pop in. Pidge says they need to keep the Alteans from getting the “comet,” so at least it seems Pidge doesn’t need to debate like Hunk and Lance had been doing about whether these Alteans are good people. Unfortunately, the Alteans come through the door, guns drawn. The Altean guy identifies Sven and Slav as members of Guns of Gamara, clearly an analog to the Blades of Marmora.

“Allura, this might not be the Altea you remember,” Keith says. You think? The show has already established that these Alteans are a universe-wide, slavery-using empire. That the tone of how the Paladins still are talking about these Alteans does not match what they’ve been told about them. The Paladins’ reactions feel subdued at best, almost unreal. The female Altean says that they are different because they defeated the Galra and that they’ll help Allura defeat the Galra in her reality too. Allura smiles at the idea. Even knowing the Alteans enslave people, she’s still entertaining the idea that they’re good?

Keith tries to convince Allura that, since they’ve learned that not all Galra are bad, things might not be so “black and white as [the alternate-Altean] is making them out to be.”

Allura responds, “Keith, these are my people.” Uh, no they’re not. They are from another reality and have proudly described their Empire as dominating their universe and that they take away the willpower of anyone who opposes them. Allura identifies them as strong allies for her war against the Galra in her reality. I am not okay with how this episode has written Allura. It doesn’t seem like she’s even wrestling with her morality over this. It’s like her morality is nonexistent. She is undergoing literally no struggle in siding with the Altean Empire.

So, Allura powers the ship and pulls it through the rift so that the Alteans can get the “comet.” Coran watches as the ship moves through the rift and the rift closes. He reacts with a unexpectedly calm, “Not good.” I would think he would have freaked out a lot more strongly than that!

The male Altean brings Pidge, Hunk, Lance, Sven, and Slav, hands bound, to present their capture. Allura finally reacts when she hears Slav use the word “slaves.” “Slaves? Is this true?” she says. Did she miss Keith earlier saying to the female Altean, “But you’re taking away their free will?” Again, in order for Keith to have made that comment, the Altean had to have been describing the technology that they use to take away people’s willpower, which even Hunk identified initially as a form of slavery.

Keith pleads with Allura that they “can’t let this happen,” and Allura turns to the female Altean, saying that they “both want the same thing.” I don’t know how Allura has not been paying attention, but it’s clear that they have very different goals. Possibly the most generous assessment of Allura in this episode is that she, despite what character growth she had in season two with Keith being half-Galra and working with the Galra in the Blades of Marmora, that she is still so prejudiced against the Galra that she is willingly blind here. Again, these Alteans have proudly described their universe-wide empire and how they take away the free will of anyone who opposes them. This isn’t some secret side of these Alteans that they’ve kept hidden. They’ve been very open about it.

The female Altean makes clear their plans to use the “comet” to “bring our peace to every reality.” Of course they want to spread their domination: They’re an empire, that’s what empires do. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. The Altean rejects Allura: “You’re no empress of mine.” Duh. Did she miss the fact that Allura is from another reality? Of course she’s not the Empress.

Allura finally reacts the way she should have been reacting for most of the episode, finally realizing that these Alteans are not the same kind of people that her Alteans were.

I do love Slav confidently laughing, telling Lance, “This is the reality where everything works out fine.” The bomb he planted earlier detonates. Everyone fights. The Paladins and the Guns try to flee.

An Altean sentry shoots at Lance, but Sven jumps in the way, taking the hit. Slav jumps to action and blows the sentries out into space. He says he’ll take care of Sven and for the Paladins to get to the Lions.

Allura realizes this is all her fault. Slav says they can still get the “comet” from the Alteans. They form Voltron, grab the “comet” and fly away. Slav has messed with the Altean’s ship’s thrusters so that they can’t pursue Voltron, but they still shoot at them. Pidge finds the supposedly exact spot in space where the “comet” had been before Allura pulled it through, so they can punch through reality and return to their own.

As soon as they make it through, Lotor’s forces grab the “comet.” He reveals that the initial distress signal to which they had responded was sent by him. The Paladins are unconscious, except for Allura, and Voltron is in no condition to fight/pursue Lotor.

Later, Keith tries to reassure Allura that they couldn’t have known about Lotor’s part in all this. That’s not because they couldn’t have potentially found out. Allura was so eager at the idea of more Alteans that she just charged in blindly, then acted severely out of character by not recognizing an empire telling here that they’re an empire means that they’re an empire. The show ends with the ominous portent that Lotor could use the “comet” to make “a weapon as powerful as Voltron.”

As I said at the beginning, I really want to like this episode. I think alternate reality stories can be so much fun. I really love Sven and Slav. I just can’t buy that the Paladins are so ridiculously gullible in this episode. The Alteans never once even slightly try to hide anything about who they are, and yet the Paladins, especially Allura, seem to ignore what they’re told.

The writing of the episode seems to think its being subtle and/or nuanced, but it’s not even close to subtle. That’s what makes Allura’s obliviousness so unbelievable.

Even though they’re alternate versions, Sven and Slav’s openness about how they’re trying to protect the “comet” from the Alteans makes me instantly wary of the Alteans. It puts me on alert regarding the Alteans from the moment they first show up. This script does not lull me as a viewer into a false security alongside Allura and the other Paladins to make it a surprise that the Alteans are bad. It makes Allura’s reactions to the alternate Alteans absurd.

[ghostofvixx]

That Haechan kid|LDH|

You thought you were never going to sing again.

You were eight years old when you told your parents you wanted to sing. You had always been so in love with music in general that, at that age, singing and playing an instrument was the dream you were hoping to live.

At first your parents didn’t agree with that, the tried to show you more things such as reading or drawing to remove that dream from your head. When they saw that it wasn’t worth the try, the let you get what you wanted.

Your first day you were so excited you though you could do everything you could be asked for there, even reaching the most difficult note.

However, all your dreams fade away when you met your teachers. All the good vibe you thought an academy could have seemed impossible, as if academies didn’t have the purpose of teaching, but to create machines who would only do what they were told without any further explanation, and blame them if they weren’t able to get it right.

“Y/N, you’re not doing it the way it’s supposed to be done, you can’t reach that note. It’ts not worth the try” That’s what your teachers told you every day.” Your voice is cute, but if you don’t train it you won’t achieve anything, and you say that you want to be a professional singer? Such a dreamer.”

Apparently, you needed a better trainment for your voice before entering that academy, at that moment you weren’t worth the try. However, you thought that you will never be enough, that you weren’t going to make it, that your voice wasn’t worth the try and that your talent was nonexistent.

To you, being eight years old, it was probably the hardest experience you thought you would ever experience. Suddenly, you didn’t wanted to sing. It didn’t matter if it was the opening of an anime or a whole song, you didn’t want your mouth to sing a single note, and so you did.

**

Fast forward to ten years later. You’re now eighteen years old, there’s only this year left before college. You now have forgotten about all the dreams you had, considering them simple mistakes you would have made if you had listened to you little you. You took the decision a while ago, now you want to study education, the reason? You want to teach children the right way to do thing, solve their doubts and encourage them to at least make them believe they have the potential. Ironic, right?

You still don’t sing at all. Sometimes if it’s extremely necessary or you feel like it you hum a song you like or even sing a phrase itself, but you still don’t like your voice, so you shut up immediately.

We could say you’re doing good at school or life in general, you consider yourself satisfied. You love your friends and your family and you look forward to college. However, that part of your life will always be present. Over all if you have to pass through the music classroom every day.

You don’t have any subject related to music, but since in certain subjects you have to change the classroom because there isn’t enough room for all of you, you usually have to go to the only classroom available that is big enough for all of you, the music classroom.

There’s this rule in your high school which says that at the end of the class, a student, chosen by the teacher, should tidy up the classroom they’re at if any material has been misplaced or if there are papers thrown around the floor.

Today it’s your turn.

Your English teacher has explained you that, apparently, the door’s broken, you can open it from the outside but not from the inside, so you must hurry up and be careful.

However, the moment you turn around to put a chair where the door is so it won’t close itself, a gust of wind appears out of the blue and surprise! Now you’re locked!

You’ve done this a million times, and never turned out wrong. That day wasn’t your day it seems.

“Damn it Y/N” you murmure as you cover your face with your hands. “How do you get yourself in this situation. Do you do it on purpose?” You begin to hit the door, trying to be heard by anyone.

“I can’t just stay locked here! My teacher is going to think I’m absent!” Suddenly desperation hits you and you sit on the floor, thinking of something.”The window is opened, maybe I could use that tree...”

No, you’re not as crazy.

You just keep knocking on the door. Somebody should come right? After all, your music teacher basically lives there, he should have some students to teach.

You hear footsteps approaching, and the knock on the door become almost desperate. However, it’s not a teacher who opens the door.

“Hello...?” The boy says when he opens the door, with hesitation in his voice, you decide to take three steps back at the sudden approaching.” Oh! May I know who you are?”

As he comes into the room, he doesn’t even tries to keep the door opened.

“No please don’t close the d... Door”

Well, at least you tried.

“Great! And we’re locked again!” You sight in frustration, sitting on your teacher’s chair. “When do you think Mr. Choi is going to come?” You ask the boy, giving up on everything.

“Wait” he says, “What the hell?

“The door is broken, you can open it from the outside but not from the inside.” You explain, watching his face changing from confusion to realization.

“God damn it Mark.” He takes a seat in the desk front of yours, placing his hands in his face in the same way you did before.

You decide not to ask who that Mark boy is.

That’s when you take time to analyze him. You’ve seen him around, you’re sure about that. He belongs to this group of boys who always seem to have energy. You’ve seen them doing everything in the halls, from singing to even dance one of this trending dances as if they were the ones who invented them.

The performing arts students.

The ones who you envied the most.

The guy you envied the most.

He is definitely one of the loudest of them all, but also the one whose voice you loved the most. Even if you wanted to turn around and not listen to them, you just couldn’t resist.

You couldn’t resist his voice, probably the sweetest you’ve ever heard. You couldn’t resist his charisma when dancing, his passion when doing any of these things. You would never say it out loud, but you definitely admire him.

His friends usually call him Haechan, you aren’t really sure if that’s how you should call him.

“When do you think we will get out of here?” You try to break the ice, since awkwardness could be sensed everywhere.

“We’ll get out of here in an hour for sure, that’s when Mr. Choi has his first class of the day.” He explains.

“You study performing arts right?”

“Yeah I do actually.” He says, smiling happily, he’s obviously proud of what he does.

Another reason to admire him.

“Then you must be Mr. Choi’s student. How come you didn’t know about the door?” His smile slowly fades away and suddenly his shoes are the most interesting thing in the room. He crosses his arms and your first thought is thinking that he is probably mad at you.

“Good job Y/N” you think to yourself.

“I... I just tend to forget things I don’t really care about. I should have cared about this though, I’m sorry.” This is the first time you have ever seen him ashamed, you definitely weren’t expecting this reaction.

“I’m going to keep knocking, luckily somebody will hear us and we can go back to class without problems”. You move again to end up standing close to the door, hersitating before knocking again.

“My teacher didn’t come today, he is probably ill, another teacher let me go to the bathroom after begging a lot for it, now I have betrayed him... I feel sad.” He comments with a little pout on his lips.

You try not to think about how cute he is.

“What were you doing here though?” You ask so you don’t keep staring at him for too long.

You sit on the floor, giving up again without even starting.“I wanted to pick up some lyrics I wrote in yesterday’s class. I usually leave my notebook here, but yesterday I regretted it.” He explains.

“Oh... So you write songs too?”

“Yes! Mark Hyung says I’m good at it, but that I have to improve, so now I write when I get hit by inspiration. Do you want to listen to it?”

“Oh don’t worry it’s not necess-“

“Come on, it’ll be fun! We’ll be entertained for a while.” His smile is back again and you think you’ve found your new weak point.

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just grabs a notebook from one of the desks -his desk you suppose- and sits where the piano is.

“Come on, sit with me.” He point to the empty place besides his seat and you don’t know if he has other plans in mind or he is just extremely outgoing.

You would never show anyone what you write, it’s only to yourself.

When you sit, Haechan begins to play. To you, it’s obvious that the song isn’t finished, sometimes he has trouble reading his own handwriting or playing a part of the song again with another notes to make it fit the song better.

“What do you think?” He asks you when he’s done.

“Well, as someone who doesn’t really understand about music, I think it sounds really good, but it would sound better if you sing this part with a higher pitch.” You point to where you think the song has been a little weak.

“I know right?” He furrow his eyebrows as he rewrite something on his notebook. “I think you should sing this part with me, maybe it would be nice to listen to two voices singing it, but none of my friends can match what I’m looking for.”

“N-no, believe me, you don’t want to hear me singing.” You deny it as fast as you can and begin to feel nervous. How can your voice compare to his?

There’s no way.

“Come on, it’s just me, nobody else will ever listen to it and I won’t judge you. You already have a sweet talking voice, there’s no way your singing voice is going to be horrible.”

You feel your cheeks burn and you begin to shake.

You know this reaction too well. It’s been a lot of time from the last time you felt yourself panicking in this way, and you don’t want this boy apparently named Haechan to see it.

Maybe you could try. If you turned around without facing him, or if he could cover his ears and pretend he’s not listening maybe...

And then he smiles again, sweetly, reassuring you that I’ll be fine, as if he knew that there’s no need to say more words.

You know that you can’t resist his smile.

And he knows it too.

“Please just pretend you’re not listening.” You say, lowering your head.

“Why would I-?” But then he notices something about your behavior, about the way you try not to look at him, about how you hold your own hands to stop your shaking, makes him knows that is is more serious than it should.

“I know how hard it is, to sing in front of anyone, but believe me, nothing that happened inside here will ever be known by anyone who isn’t here. Just you and I”

Maybe it’s his words, his smile, how beautiful it sounds when he is singing his own song, how passionate he looks, how he doesn’t even looks at you, trying to give you your space.

You sing along with him. Your barely hear your voice, you know you are singing way too low, but he doesn’t seems to care.

After the song is finished, he doesn’t even gives you time to think. Suddenly he begins to play another song, you know the words to this song, No tears left to cry by Ariana Grande. Then it’s blood, sweat and tears by BTS, then it’s thriller by Michael Jackson.

You find yourself singing as loud as him, gaining all the confidence you thought you had lost through the years. Suddenly you’re not eighteen, you are five, six, seven years old, singing all the songs your parents and you knew for Christmas in front of your family, or just the three of you.

You don’t feel like yourself, and that’s good.

Half an hour later the school bell sounds and mr. Choi comes inside the classroom as soon as possible.

Haechan stops singing and playing right away and your smile fades, standing up and taking a bow rapidly. Haechan doesn’t follows you, he just stands up and waves at his teacher.

“May I know what were you guys doing inside here?” He places a chair in front of the door so it won’t be closed again.

“Well... We were locked.” Haechan says, summing up the last hour you have spent there.

“Oh shit, I thought I had warned you about the door. Let’s talk to your teachers before they think something else happened. By the way, why did anyone open the door?”

“That’s what I’d like to know, we have tried to get help but nobody listened apparently.” The way he talks to his teacher, as if he were a friend, gives you one more proof of how outgoing he is.

“By the way Donghyuck, who is your friend?” He asks Haechan.

Donghyuck?

“Oh, she was inside here before I came, she tried to warn me but I didn’t listen to her.”

“As usual”. Mr. Choi rolles his eyes and guides you out of the room.

“Actually, I’ll talk to you teachers later, first years students are about to come, I have a class to teach.”

Once you are outside, you bow at Haechan and he bows back at you.

“By the way, what’s your name?” He asks, turning back to face you.”

“Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you Y/N, I’m Donghyuck but you can call me Haechan.”

** After that you don’t talk to him, at least not as much as you would like to. He is always with his friends and you don’t want to bother him, and you, on the other hand, are always in a hurry to arrive to class in time.

You could say that your admiration has developed into a kind of crush, after all, he made you sing properly for the first time in ten years.

The academic course is coming to an end, and you know the people from performing arts are preparing something because they are not on the halls singing and dancing as they always are.

Not seeing Haechan every day is kinda sad, You were used to watch him from afar or to smile at him when you made eye contact. It made you feel excited even though you are sure he probably won’t even remember your name and now that he or his friends aren’t around the halls, they seem more boring.

You talked to him again one day when you had to pass in front of the performing art’s classroom to hand in a research you had done to your history teacher, who was in the following class. You knew his eyes hadn’t left your silhouette, this time you ignored him because you knew that if you looked at him and his group of friends, you would probably embarrass yourself.

But apparently he wasn’t going to ignore you too.

“Y/N.” You turned around and saw him approaching you.

“Haechan! Hi.” You would never admit it, but you were so glad he remembered you.

“Woah, I’m glad you remember my name.”

“Actually, i should be the surprised one.”

“Why? The only thing I forget are things I don’t care about.” You took his hint, making you blush. “Anyways, let’s skip the how have you been and stuff. You knew about the performing arts performance right?”

“Yes..” You said, looking at him trying to know where the conversation was heading to.

“Mark, Renjun, Jaemin and I are in charge of creating the main song, Mark will compose the song, Renjun and Jaemin are going to create the lyrics and I’m in charge of singing but honestly the song would sound better with someone else’s voice too, not only mine, and I think yours could fit in.”

“Haechan I’m not sure if...”

“Nobody will know it’s you, not even Mark, I promise to keep it a secret”

You were about to say no, but the feeling you got when you sang with him that time was... Unforgetable.

“Haechan believe me, you don’t want my voice, I can’t sing, I don’t belong to the performing arts.”

“Then explain to me why I can’t forget about your voice.”

Isn’t that considered... Flirting?

“If people don’t like it, it’s all your fault you know it right?”

“I’m willing to take the blame because I’m completely sure people will love it.”

And that’s how you began to feel a bit more relaxed about singing.

Every afternoon you would go to his garage, where he had a little recording studio.

At first you would only practice, he gave you advices about how it would sound better but always complimenting you. How could you feel ashamed when you were only receiving constructive criticism?

Then one day it was finally the time to record, he asked you if it would be fine if Mark came since he was the one who knew how to produce songs.

You accepted without thinking about it. You’ve learned that the more you think about it, the worse the situation ends.

“Don’t be nervous Y/N, remember you are in front of the most awkward person in the world.” Haechan said when he introduced you to Mark.

“Wow Haechan, how nice of you, you are an angel without wing, my life savior.” Mark rolled his eyes, focusing on the computer in front of him.

“Okay, Y/N will start, then Haechan and after that both of you. And Y/N, Haechan was right about that, you shouldn’t be nervous, he has been saying many good things about you, I’m sure it’ll turn out fine.”

“Of course, it’s going to be the best song of the entire show”. Haechan winks at you and you blush.

“I’m sure it’s because you are the one who is singing, your voice is special Haechani.” You tried to focus your attention on something else and play it cool, trying not to look embarrassed.

“Maybe I’ve been to obvious.” You thought.

“Oh Come on guys i came here to produce a song, not to thirdwheel.” Mark said, rolling his eyes.

**

You had no words to thank Mark, and over all, Haechan.

You know you shouldn’t overcome you fear like this, it should be by yourself, you know you can do it, but yet all the safety they’ve been giving you has definitely give you the strength you needed.

Fast forward to a month later. Finally, the song is recorded and you didn’t die in the process, that’s an advance. Nobody but Mark and Haechan knows it’s you the girl singing in the song, not even your friends, but you think it’s fine like that. The show begins with the dancing team of the high school, some boy named Jisung as the main dancer, you felt excited when you recognized Mark’s voice rapping. Then it is followed by a little play that the acting club have been preparing the entire year. After that, the choir -where Haechan is- sing a song acapella that gives you goosebumps.

The final performance is all the members of the performing arts dancing to a song.

Your song.

Donghyuck’s eyes didn’t leave yours for a second and you weren’t going to be the first one to look away.

When the song came to an end, that’s when you finally were aware of what had happened. Nobody knew it was you the one singing, yet you felt like a winner.

“You did good guys.” Mark congratulated both of you when you reunited them backstage.

“Well, it’s all thanks to both of you why I could do it, hopefully one day I’ll take a step forward. By the moment I’m really proud of what I did.” You explained, giving them your most sincere smile.

“I’m sure our Haechani would love to help.”

“Hyung!”

“Actually, want to know what? You have a lot of things to tell to eachother, I’m sick of thirwheeling indirectly.” And without adding anything else, he left, leaving both of you speechless.

“What do you think he meant by that?” You asked Haechan, not really sure if you wanted to know.

Mark is a weird person after all.

“Nothing to be honest...” He seemed to think about something for a second and the he sighted. “Well, you know what? I’m just going to say it. Let’s date.” And without giving you time to answer, he began to talk again. “Oh wait. I was too straightforward right? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just thinking we could probably go to this ice cream shop if you want to and then if you want a second date the.-“

“Are you nervous Haechan?”

“I- well- what do you mean exactly by nervous? It could have very mean-“

“Of course I’ll go to that ice cream place with you.”

He sighted once again placing a hand where his hears is.

“And by the way Lee Donghyuck. I owe you my entire life.”

Where would you be without that a Haechan kid?

[angelinuhh]

Hi there A! Could we get a public review from you? Thank you so much and we hope that you have a breathtaking upcoming week! ~ Admin Catie

DISCLAIMER: this review is onlyreflective of my own opinions and is intended to provide constructivecriticism. there is no obligation to listen to or agree with anything said.

OVERALL:

the reality tv junkie in me loves this concept of this rp. and, asI look around, this typifies exactly what I love about the genre: characterdevelopment, fast-paced events and, of course, a healthy dose of competition. Ilove your color scheme and your theme. for a contained theme, I found it incrediblyeasy to navigate—which was a real and true blessing. however, I do think that there are still many things to improve, Ithink a little more consistency and editing in your descriptions and overallaesthetic could really elevate your rp and make it more accessible andattractive to prospective members. I also would like to see a change in yourrules, both in policy and in tone. overall, I wish you guys the best of luck.

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PLOT:

I really do love the rp idea, but I do think the plot page leavesa little something to be desired. For appless rps, especially ones withoutblurbs on the sidebar, you really do need something that is concise, both eye-catching and attention-grabbing, all the while getting to the point. while the content you have on this page isn’tbad, you have a long-ish block of text that can read a little dry at time.

I’ve taken the liberty of editing your plot to take on a more activetone to show you what I mean. while you have no obligation to use it, you dohave full permission to:

 There is no greater motivation in theworld than money – and nowhere is that more present than in ParadiseIsland, MTV’s new reality television show. Sent to a private island inpairs and forced to compete challenges and tasks set by the producers, contestantsoften find themselves doing things they wouldn’t normally do, all for a chance at$750,000.

Here at Paradise Island, the fun never stops. With 24/7 Streaming, viewers are given a real-time seat to the  drama,the romance and more! While binge-worthyshows are great, the 12 million daily viewers know the truth: they never have to find something new towatch again.

After a rigorous application process, including video essays about why theywould like to be on the show, interviews and even a test challenge was preparedto see which finalists caused the most drama or had the most chemistry, thehundreds of potential applicants were narrowed down to just 40. The producersrandomly assigned each contestant into pairs and, for the duration of the show,these partners were to share a room in the mansion and work together to win thegrand prize. 

But what happens next—will loveblossom? Will greed step in? Witha 1/20 chance of winning the $750,000, most of the contestants will do anything to get their hands onthat money, but there can only be one pair of winners.

Who will be victorious in the first Paradise Island?

-        

paradiseislandhq is anappless  23+ pairedmuse roleplay based on reality television. Contestants have been sent to aprivate island and must work in pairs for the chance to win a grand jackpot of $750,000w/ additional prizes. We focus on weekly character development tasks &challenges, plotting between members, in-character drama, and. of course- vacation vibes! Applicants are free toapply for a wanted connection partnership or to have one picked at random foryou!

 If you would like to take a crack at it, here’s what I tried to fix.

Have a more ACTIVE TONE

 thisis a purely stylistic choice, but i would suggest varying up sentence structureand utilizing your bold and italic keys a little more as most people in thegenre do.

Try to avoid going on tangents

Inthe beginning, you start with the motivator of money above all and thenimmediately move to love and status, thus weakening the power of your opening

Ialso did not particularly think the tangent about streaming services in thethird paragraph was necessary. Your goal is to emphasize that the show is 24/7—you don’t necessarily have to explain that.

Is it… $750,000 or $750,000+, because both were used. That needsto be clear.

The first thing I always look for is the synopsis at the bottom,but yours is a little bit long. 

Iwould center it as well. You can do this by entering into the html and putting , I think.

Side note: make sure your navigation tab’s blurb matches the one on this page.

I also spotted a couple of grammar errors. Your biggest and mostfrequently repeated error is run-on sentences and a lack of commas.

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RULES

bh, your rules page was a hugeturnoff for me. I don’t think it was your intention, but it was very blunt, alittle wordy (ik ik… im legit the most wordy person on earth) and read kind of…rude. A a potential applicant and as a reviewer, I just- I wasn’t feeling itand would likely be very wary of applying because of it.  There are also quite a few run-on sentenceshere, so watch out for that.

I’m not going to rewrite the whole thing, but here are a few specificchanges I would make and alternate wordings to your statements.

 Edits

(++) I would put in a HOW WE RP section and add in the stuffabout the tasks, points and challenges. Because that should not go underinclusivity. I also do not understand how it works and I need much moreexplanation. I can guess, of course, but I shouldn’t have to. You need toclearly outline how this rp will be run and how tasks will be delegated and pointswill be awarded. Vaguely stating that there will be challenges and points andwhatever will not work.

(++) Your muses section is very confusing. Especially the agebut also the diversity part. I understand that you feel strongly about this,but I brought it up to some friends and many of them were just as confused as Iwas. I read your FAQ and things did not get any clearer. If I were you, I wouldsimply say “all muses and fcs must be older than 25. Please aim to make yourcharacter’s age believable with your faceclaim.”. And that, “to encouragediversity, if you have more than one character, at least one must be POC.” Asyou have it, it is very murky and kind of defensive?? almost. Like I reallywant people to be over 25, but I guess they can play 23, but also they canactually be 40 but they can play in their 20s. It’s convoluted and I get alittle frustrated trying to read it. In my opinion, you just have to pick asingle age and go with it.

I feel like your unfollow rule is extremely lenient for one ofthese rps. It may lead most of your members being inactive before they getunfollowed.

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Alt wordings (some suggestions)

Although it is expected that in-character partnerships will needcharacter development, please make an effort to interact with all member.Bubble RPing is NOT permitted and we aim to make an inclusive environment whereall muns can explore their characters.

Youroriginal statement really put the onus on the RPer like they’re already doingsomething wrong.

We are happy to oblige with hiatus or semi-hiatus requests. Lifecomes up and we want all of our players to be comfortable. However, we onlyaccept these requests through asks that come through our inbox.

Reallythe CAPS and the Do not inform by im… don’t really feel like you want me tocomfortable.

We allow small/medium gifs. Please do not use large gifs. In orderto be accessible we do not allow gif icons under 90x90. >>>>In order to be accessible, large gifs and gif icons under 90px are not allowed.We prefer small/medium gifs.

Feel free to cause in character drama. However, no OOC drama willbe tolerated !! >>> While in-character drama can be fun, OOCdrama will not be tolerated.

idk why but those exclamation points were felt in my soul, man. Sdfjdkf. Look, it’s just a little intimidating.

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ACCESSIBILITY :

I knowthis sounds like a small thing, but I really am impressed.Container themes are notoriously hard to navigate but I had little to notrouble going through yours. If your rp grows, that muse tab is going to behell to update so I admire your commitment.

My onlycritiques are that

 youneed to finish updating your nav so there are no broken/nonexistent links—whichI’m sure you will do

on your/map page, you have ‘wanted connections’ spliced so both wanted and connectionare links.

I’dmuch rather see a page with all the tags to track than just having them floataround on the navigation. But this is totally up to you to change.

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AESTHETIC/GRAPHICS:.

Lovethem. Whoever did them, mostly, did a good job in maintaining the color scheme.My only critique is that I’m not really feeling the headers for, like, the plotpage and the wanted connections…etc. These harsh black borders and script fontsstand out a lot and, while the images are nice, they have a completelydifferent color scheme (dark blue-ish tones to the warm and tropical orange ofthe rest of the theme). I wish they would! Because otherwise, I really do likewhat you have here.  

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MORE.

I would edit or remove the first question onyour FAQ.If anyone asks the question, you can say to promote age diversity andthat’s reason enough. As it stands, the question and the answer just makes me confusedand, some of the statements like “actors over 25 have more resources” is justuntrue.

thebiggest flaw that I see in your RP is inconsistency and occasional lack ofclarity. here is a list of things I’ve found that varied from page to page.

1.      Sometimesthe jackpot is 750,000. Sometimes it is not.

2.      Theblurb on your navigation does not match the blurb on your plot page

3.      Yourefer to this rp both as appless and semiappless.

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TLDR; what i would like to see changed, vaguelyin order of most of least importance. Feel free to ignore any or all of these.

REDO your rules page to include a HOW WE RP detailing thepoints, tasks and challenges

 CHOOSEa clear and consistent ruling on your age bending/limits. It might make senseto you and promoting age diversity is very admirable, but, look, we’re alldumb.

EDITyour rules page to be… more affable. It’s not bad as it, but it just helpspeople get through it.

i wrote a few alternate phrasings you can look at

EDITyour plot to be more engaging and concise to really grab people’s attention.

i wrote something above that you may use

DOUBLE CHECK all your pages to make sure that you don’tcontradict yourself in various places.

 as a last note and reminder, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE ANY OF MYSUGGESTIONS. There is no ill-will from me to you. As always, this is notintended to be hate and I genuinely want the best for you guys. However, I amterminally cursed to be nitpicky. I’ve done my very best to make sure my adviceis constructive, but please call me out if you find any of this offensive orcrude.

I genuinely like the idea of the RP and appreciate the work you’veput in. Seeing Dev Patel used--- makes my day. Thank you for your time andpatience.

If you have any more concerns or questions, please feel free tocontact me.

[daydreamerspeaksout]

Day 2: It's Hard to Let Go

As I mention before I usually think a lot when I'm working at Amazon. You think as a stower I would be paying more attention to the work but sometimes my mind drifts. Usually I think about old memories and friends from the past. I am talking about friends from my elementary school years and usually middle/high school years too. I recently started to think about the best friend I had in high school. It had been hard to let go of somebody that you understood and that they understood you especially during those years where you were kind of going crazy because of hormones and such.

About I would say more than 9 years ago I decided to cut ties with this person. They weren't being the person that I had known back then and they were completely different because of the new crowd they were hanging in. Not sure if I ever made a post about it in the past but here goes the little story.

The Birthday Party that Sealed the Fate of Friendship

I am not a typical party person, I am not a social butterfly. I usually cling to someone that I am comfortable with and just have conversations with them or if they are more social than me they will lead the convo and I would just jump in. Sad to say this is not what happened at this party. I didn't stay the whole way through because my mom was still working and I had to take care of my disabled sister in the mornings. So I had to leave early in order to wake up on time to give her the meds.

I arrived a little early because I was driving to a new area that I didn't know too well. So like a nerd I arrived early in order to make sure that if I got lost I would have some time to sort it out. It was my first party where I knew very little people in it and where my high school crush was gonna be at too. [Long story short with this guy, he has a girlfriend and she was at the party too. I didn't like her vibe but whatever, it was not meant to be. I haven't spoken to him in about two years or so. I think he got lost in a well or just doesn't care about social media all together.] I was extremely nervous about facing the music that my crush was gonna be there with his new girlfriend. So I pretty much ate nothing before the party because of the pit in my stomach.

When I arrived at the house, my best friend took me to their room and they were finishing up getting ready. I met her other friend that she is still close too, I believe. She was nice and I was very quiet, just waiting for the party to start and for more people to arrive. I knew some of her new friends from the cosplay world. I have only seen them in pictures and occasionally they were brought up in conversations. Nothing against the cosplay community but these cosplayers did not like new people that were too quiet and not extroverted like they are. But not all of them were like that only two were really nice and they actually held decent conversations with me. I still have them on Facebook as friends. I know I barely say words to them but I still think they are cool people.

You know how I said that I cling to people because I am not a social butterfly? Well that night I was left pretty much alone practically. I sat down at a table by the pool, I did get up to eat something and I drank (age 20 at the time) some kind of whiskey with coke [the crush served it to me lol]. Getting the drink I was introduced to the crush's girlfriend and again did not like the vibe that she was throwing. I went back to the table and sat there people watching, eventually one of the two people who conversed with me, sat there and we started talking. I asked about his interests because I knew he was the one who would photograph the group at conventions. He did really good work to be honest, as a person who always had interest in picture taking, talking about it was pretty interesting. Then the second person I believe came by and just started a conversation with us until the rest of the group came to join in.

BUT there was one guy that was already a little effy about me because of my quiet nature. He saw me as the outsider and I felt like one when he would start to talk. I believe most of them were already a little tipsy, my best friend was. When they all joined in at the table I stayed quiet most of the time. They had conversations about their convention adventures and I, of course, never been to one at the time felt left out. I eventually decided that I should just leave because I was feeling uncomfortable and feeling pretty much alone in a crowd of people.

My best friend walked me out or well they were stumbling a little but as I was getting ready to open the car. They said thank you for coming and that we will hang out soon, I promise. I said sure, can't wait. Deep inside I knew that was a lie. I knew that this was gonna be the last time I would see them.

Sure enough, I believe a few weeks passed on by with me trying to keep communication afloat with them. Not to mention that I was going through a lot within the family and dealing with some bad shit at home. I needed a friend to be there for me, I needed my best friend, at least to be there for me. Instead I got nothing, I got the same shitty conversations about the cosplay community and the troubles within their little cosplay group. [When they had time to text me] I put my foot down that last conversation we had. I let it all out because I needed too. They weren't being the friend they had promised in high school. Through thick and thin is what I thought but the thin became obsolete. I was fighting for a friendship that was nonexistent. [I did find people that were there for me during those tough times though. Still friends with them and they have been there for a long time. Shout out to them. <3]

So I blocked them on everything that I had them on, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, on my phone, anything.... Can I just say to this day I still have their number. To this day, I can't delete it even though the conversations are gone, I still haven't gotten the guts to press delete. May be... some day... I will but it's hard to do so. I have numbers from others that I haven't spoken to in years and still hard to press delete. But that birthday party showed me that people change. People really do change for the worse sometimes and I did not need that at the time. I needed a friend that would just sit and listen to me and not one that made it about their own problems all the time. So what if so and so did this or that? I don't need that kind of venting because I wasn't apart of that world. I wasn't even asked to be apart of it. I was just left on the side and only told the stories. I needed the person that would just let me vent about some serious shit going on at home. I needed to let tears out and to be told that I shouldn't let it get to me. I needed a friend when I felt like the world was crashing down, but I truly got nothing from them. It's like that shoulder was ice cold and I was not worthy to lean on it.

At least that's how I felt when I blocked them and told myself, their some friendships that are not worth fighting for any more.

Out of the Bad Came Something Good

I would like to thank the people that have been there for me through the very thick and the very thin. Find yourself those kinds of people, find yourself people that totally and utterly get you. Find yourself the people that are TWINS to your personality. But also surround yourself with people that are total opposites with you. Out of a bad friendship, new ones sprouted and I have not felt alone ever again, to be honest. I have found an immense amount of love and an immense amount of support. That's what I needed and what I wanted to give back as well. It sounds stupid but I supported the hell out of this person through their ideas and their cosplay ideas. The future that they wanted to have, their dreams that they told me about. I supported them and I felt like they supported me too. That was the case at some point but it went downhill.

Moral of the story, find your true best friends, they are out there! I know sometimes it will seem like nobody is a perfect match for you. Or that your current friend isn't there for you. Speak up. Ask them, will you hear me out? Wake them up, if they aren't. Cut them out if they can't be there for you when you need them. But if you can take away something from this, if you're gonna be a friend to someone always try to keep the communication lines open and be open if something does bother you.

You should never feel alone in a friendship or feel left out.

To the person that I cut ties with, I have forgiven you and though we never speak or we have never tried to reach out to each other. I do wish you well. I have managed to let go of the anger and hurt I felt when I had to do that. Dare I say I thought you were my big sister, at one point. That was tough to let go of somebody I thought would be there forever. But I sincerely forgive you. If we were to meet again, I will respectfully give you a nod of acknowledgment. I hope and trust that you are not the same as before. I wish things had ended on a better note cause that last memory of our final conversation is seared in my mind. I am no longer mad though. I just hope you changed for the better.

On this note, though it is a tiny bit sad going down memory lane, I shall end it with "What's the Big Idea?"

[prixmiumarchive]

Rosemary, Verbena, Winona :D

Rosemary: what cartoons did you grow up with?

I watched reruns of things that came on Cartoon Network mostly. The first show I remember really “discovering” that had a major impact on my life was the Sailor Moon dub. After that, it was Digimon which was the first show I had Higher Than Original Rating headcanons for. The Lion King was the first film I saw in theaters and I was really into it.

Verbena: playlist for your life? 

Wow this is an ambitious question. I guess I’ll go with things that have been most important lately? Other than the DCTV and Expanse OSTs which I listen to a lot. I’m gonna pick like 10 in no particular order.

1. Hoodie - Hey Violet - I’m obsessed with this song for some reason? My friend @thethirteenthhouse​ made me this great playlist of music recs recently, and I got to this one and just listened to it like 200 times this month. I’d heard of the band before, but listening to this song made me start listening to that album a lot. Also, like fuck, the aesthetic of their music videos gets to me (although I don’t know why because it feels very idealized high-school-y at times and I am sort of horrified by high school now more than I was as a teenager lol). Link to the video.

Favorite Lyric: I can’t keep your love / I can’t keep your kiss / Gave you everything and all I got was this --

2. Praying - Kesha - I already talked about this song in my last ask from this ask meme. I just fell in love with this song the first time I heard it, and it has never faded. I just think it is such a powerful and important message about forgiveness and moving on and what to do if what something did to you was unforgivable. It is beautiful because it never equivocates about what it’s about, and the way Kesha performs it is just so raw and honest. It reminds me of several fictional characters I love which is often high on my criteria list for reasons to like something, but this song is also deeply personal for me.

I guess I talk about it less than I used to, but a lot of my life story so far (and, you know, more uncomfortably what feels like a lack of one) stems from the aftermath of a very short-lived but life-altering and worldview-shattering relationship with a boy in high school. Then more recently, the first hope I’d had of that kind of realigning itself and healing in terms of a romantic prospect was pretty casually and quietly shattered in a way that, in some sense, hurts more badly than abuse and coercion at the hands of what I now recognize was a disturbed and neglected teenager. I’m angrier about this more recent experience even if it was technically “less” abusive. It was a stronger break in trust that was negotiated and given, so I’m still this boiling kind of pissed off when I think about it, which is a mood I think really shines in this song and its performance.

This song just.... grapples with this really complicated feeling of caring about someone who abused you but learning to do so in a way that is no longer justifying, no longer equivocating, no longer excusing, and no longer hoping that it will ‘get better’ with you in the picture. It is acknowledging that you have a right to your experience and to tell whatever truth about it you want because you know the truth and won’t let them trick you out of your own perception anymore. It acknowledges that maybe you loved this person, maybe you currently love or currently hate them, but you can still find a way - either way - to wish the best for them and not to let a wish for vengeance make you bitter. This song is bitter and vengeful, but it is also triumphant. The revenge it seeks is simply in being honest about an experience and the person someone currently is. It doesn’t demonize or dehumanize the abuser, which might seem like a kindness undeserved, but it is an important kindness for the sake of one’s own humanity and one’s own perception of other people going forward. It doesn’t let the person get a cop-out because they were a monster. It doesn’t let them hide behind a boogie-man mask. It lashes out in a way that is perhaps even more frowned upon because it doesn’t excuse a person’s (or a man’s, let’s be honest about the context but it could apply to women too) villainous and wicked actions because of something innate to them which cannot be changed. It allows for the possibility of forgiveness, for change, and therefore insists that it is the abuser’s job to take responsibility and to change their ways, and at the same time it does not place the onus on the abused to be the one who enacts or grants that forgiveness. It just just one of the most powerful things I’ve ever heard on coping with being an abuse survivor of abuse that, at the time, felt voluntary or asked-for, and I love it with all my heart. It will probably be one of my favorite songs forever. This video is also the bomb.

Favorite Lyric #1: I’ll bring thunder / I’ll bring rain / When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

Favorite Lyric #2: Sometimes, I pray for you at night / Someday, may you’ll see the light / Oh, some say in life you’re gonna get what you give / But some things only God can forgive

3. Break My Heart - Hey Violet (again, sorry for patterns) - This song feels like a silly favorite when I’m not in the right mood for it. It’s a break-up song, so the literal interpretation of the lyrics is pretty exclusively for fictional characters for me, but it also feels like this song that speaks to a certain kind of frustration and anger that I feel sometimes that it touches in a way that other songs don’t. It’s cathartic. It’s fun and sort of punk-pop-y in a way that makes me feel like I’m letting it out without hurting anything.

Personally, I can’t help that it reminds me of a relationship that was more platonic than romantic but which was really complicated and blurry for a while, then was nonexistent. This relationship has since healed back into something that is kind of doable. I’m glad it didn’t end forever, but I also fear that it’ll never feel as big and real as it once did. I love the person I’m talking about dearly, but it’s still a part of my history in the past couple of years that also colors my emotional health and worldview, so yeah. Also the night I realized we were probably going to have to let Rudy go back (which we did), I listened to this song over and over to block out or at least buffer the absolute tidal wave of misery that seemed relentless a few weeks ago.

On a relating-it-to-characters or just aspirational things for myself, I also think that it’s really cool that it sort of has this dissonance between its sound and its content. It also seems like it has a speaker/singer who’s not being entirely honest with the person she’s addressing. It has this very puffed-up kind of vibe that seems a little childish, endearing, defiant attitude of “Well fine, if you want to go ahead,” that is clearly not entirely genuine but that is no less a little bit brave. Even the ways in which this attitude seems doomed when looked at from an objective and calm standpoint are part of what make it a bit precious. Basically, it’s this steeling oneself, ripping the bandaid off, fake-it-til-you-make-it anthem for me and fictional people whose angst I find cathartic. Also this is the video that made me think all of Hey Violet’s stuff was probably not for People My Age, but I still love it. Kind of has this Sofia Coppola vibe to me without all her bullshit? That heart-shaped pinata and the baseball bat bit is like one of my favorite Aesthetic things I’ve seen ever. Also I love how she literally looks like she’s sobbing sometimes and it matches up with the sound of her vibrato.

Favorite Lyric: It’s like a test, it’s like a game / To see how much I can take / I’m curious to live and learn / So light me up and let me burn / Tell me you’ve never loved me / Tell me that it wasn’t real / Just say you found somebody else / I want to know the way it feels / Tell me you’ve never loved me / Tell me it was just a lie / I want to feel the pain / I want to see the light

4. Fuqboi - Hey Violet (let’s finish with them I guess, haha) - This song needs to be required listening/reading for every single girl on the planet who is even slightly romantically oriented toward boys/men. It is hilarious, but it has some really stinging truths about boys/men who are the products of their culture/toxic masculinity/etc. It’s really fun to feel like you’re insulting and condemning the right subsection of men without writing off men who are willing to grow, learn, empathize, and feel unfairly in a way that only furthers a stereotype and agenda of painting men as heartless and entirely useless and incapable of the previously-listed things. That kind of “misandry” literally has become, in my opinion, almost a movement that does only deepen the mire of toxic masculinity. This, however, is exactly the right type of #misandry that is cathartic and beautiful and fun. A lyric video here that maybe contains one or two errors.

Favorite Lyric: There’s this cute guy down my street / I always wanted to meet / So I went creeping around on his socials / In all the selfies he takes, his head is tilted the same / Oh yeah, and his favorite hashtag is #beastmode

5. She Used to be Mine - Sara Bareilles - This song is much more melancholy than the songs on this list so far. It’s hopeful but kind of feels a bit more like a self-pity song. That’s not to say that the lyrics themselves are self-pitying in their conclusion. Lately, my job is kind of hurting me, and my best friend’s job worries me on her behalf, so I really relate to it even though the Waitress references occasionally make it highly specific. It also is a really beautiful song, I think, about the transition between being, like, in your early 20s and feeling enchanted by adulthood and the challenges of it even if they hurt and then getting in your late-20s and beyond and feeling a little bit afraid of the loss of youth and stuff. Here’s a lyric video. 

Favorite Lyric: It’s not easy to know / I’m not anything like I used to be / Although it’s true / I was never attention’s sweet center / But I still remember that girl / She’s imperfect, but she tries / She is good, but she lies / She is hard on herself / She is broken and won’t ask for help / She is messy, but she’s kind / She is lonely most of the time / She is all of this mixed up and based in a beautiful pie / She is gone, but she used to be mine

The songs after the above on this list are less deeply personal (and Hoodie just is because I feel it so viscerally even though I don’t super relate to it - maybe it’s envy of people who can) and more, like, “this reminds me of a fandom thing” right now or “this sounds cool” so the tone will change.

6. Haunted Heart - WILD - Some random song I found on spotify that is #reylo and several other shippy vibes. It’s more ambient than anything else, but it can literally apply to a lot o fictional relationships we obsess over. Lyric video.

Favorite Lyric: As the shadows dance across the room / I pretend that in the dark it’s you / It’s all I have

7. Go - Grimes ft. Blood Diamonds - Honestly this song has been lowkey in my head for days, and I wanted an excuse and reminder to listen to it again. I just recently fell down another fiction/fandom rabbit hole in The Expanse, and the only part I could hear in my head was the chorus before the dub-steppy drop, but my brain for some reason was summoning and suggesting it as a song that would fit my vibe about this show. Sure enough, I am feeling it for The Expanse, and it makes me wish I could still make fanvids. The actual verse lyrics are more Miller @/Julie than anything else I’ve seen so far, so if you ship that a lot then maybe this is even more your song for this than it is mine, but for me what I like about it is the sense of this personal connection being very important but kind of interrupted by all of this noise. Maybe that’s me reading too much into the design of the song, but I love that the chorus cuts itself off until its last repetition. “When I go can I go with--” and then finally “--you?” Audio video here.

I don’t need to do a favorite lyric because it’s got so few but it’s the way they parse “When I go can I go with you?” through the music.

8. Let Me Go - Hailee Steinfeld, Alesso (ft. Florida Georgia Line) - I honestly feel a bit conflicted by how much I like this song given that it’s got heavy involvement from bro-country artists Florida Georgia Line, but I like what I like. As far as an association goes, it’s like my sort of heartbreaking Lauriver song honestly. I really like the idea that they could have been happy together, might’ve been soulmates in another world as is implied, but that it’s sort of irrevocably fractured in DCTV Earth 1. Now, if only they had let me have that, Olicity, and Merlance, I would have been happy forever. Lyric video.

Favorite Lyric: Chased that high too far, too fast / Picket white fence but we paint it black

9. The Night We Met - Lord Huron - The first time I saw some lyrics to this song it was on this edit for this sort of maybe American Civil War Era fandom I have never identified or known what the heck it was. But when I saw them, I had to know what this song was, and I knew we’d be in love forever. And indeed, I love this song. It’s just so simple and sort of that new-folksy thing that my kind of a hipster ass loves. I love it for fandom and shippy reasons because it touches on one of those hard-to-quantify and only slightly less-hard-to-qualify things that I love fanfiction and headcanon to tackle. That thing is this messy, awful (and awesome - we’re focusing on the word awe here, sublimnity) feeling that comes from having loved someone in an intimate, sexual way but then watching that totally and completely vulnerable bond erode into something where you can no longer touch that person in any sense of the word. It’s a terrible topic full of angst but it’s so much a human thing that happens and I love it. (Of course, in my fanfiction and roleplay and shit, I want it fixed, but give me all of it.) It also does that thing with unconventional but technically comprehensible syntax that I love.

Favorite Lyric: Take me back to the night we met / And then I can tell myself what the hell I’m supposed to do / And then I can tell myself not to ride along with you / I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you / Take me back to the night we met

10. Ophelia - The Lumineers - On the topic of folksy-or-something feeling music that feels like it’s touching on weird, underbelly human emotions that no one knows how to describe or wrestle with, there’s this song. It is one of those songs that makes you want to dance in the rain life throws at you. It sounds happy or melancholy depending on when you’re listening to it and what you’re bringing to it, and that is probably why it has been on Spotify’s “Your Top Songs” compilation it makes for me at year’s end for two years in a row. And gosh the instrumentation. I know nothing about instrumentation technically speaking, but gosh. It feels like going to church, driving down a country road, being in a bar, and crying your heart out in a bathtub all at once. This is probably the most playlist-for-life song on here because it is just really one of those songs that it feels like you could carry in your pocket to soundtrack a lot of moments in your life when you’re quiet, observant, and just paying attention to it. It’s not really about anything, but it kind of feels like it’s about everything. Lyric video.

Favorite Lyric: And I don’t feel nothing at all / And you can’t feel nothing small

Winona: favorite quote? 

I actually answered this one earlier, but let’s see if I can come up with another answer. My friend @morethanprinceofcats​ did a cute thing I forgot to do where she talked about text posts that come to her mind and sort of get stuck in her head, and I’ve got those too.

One I really should refer to more often is this one: http://burninglianyu.tumblr.com/post/169380411461/angel-ani-setheverman-what-is-the-january

And for the part of me that occasionally wants to become a surreal, non-human entity that dwells in the space before the alarm clock goes off and never has to move past it, this one: http://burninglianyu.tumblr.com/post/167821073666/sarah531-the-first-time-i-ever-heard-take-me-to

Oh, and I have no idea how it didn’t come to mind earlier but, like, the entire novel Lolita by Vladmir Nabokov? I always feel like there is a certain kind of shame-narrative attached to genuinely liking that book. Sometimes it’s for good reason like people who are using it to romanticize CSA beyond what the book already does as a means of justification. However, when I think the text is really read honestly and compassionately it does a lot of those things that I was saying above the song “Praying” does for me. It does so in absolutely gorgeous prose that certainly is worthy of a murderer with a fancy prose style.

I think I love it because of the way it shows the villain as protagonist and gives him this beautiful way with words that forces you to understand his point of view while conscience and even the foreword charges you never to condone it. I also think that its aesthetic quality and attention to detail of, I guess, mid-century (1900s) America and the trappings of suburbia and the places that live alongside interstates just enchants me. There’s something about that part of the description that reminds me of feeling some kind of visceral mix of pleasure and discomfort that comes from just existing in the summertime for me on a day spent outside. It reminds me of something and some time I lived through in the last 90s that I think has since passed into oblivion -- the experience of living in an America before the internet and cell phones’ prevalence or something. Suburban anonymity and the creepiness of that but also the strange, transient beauty of plastic, neon, and trying to get anywhere in a car across this absurdly big country.

The quote that came to mind this time was this one (warning for mention of child sexual abuse):

We had been everywhere. We had really seen nothing. And I catch myself thinking today that our long journey had only defiled with a sinuous trail of slime the lovely, trustful, dreamy, enormous country that by then, in retrospect, was no more to us than a collection of dog-eared maps, ruined tour books, old tires, and her sobs in the night — every night, every night — the moment I feigned sleep. 

Basically it just encapsulates that vibe I was talking about for me except, of course, for the banal horror of that list item.

Also, pairing the words “rust and stardust.”

[ebonguard]

The Making of The Cloak & Dagger (and Looking Forward)

Last night, February 25, The Cloak & Dagger opened its doors to the public for the first time. It was an event that was a long while in the making, beginning with me getting a house pre-Stormblood (for a price that was practically theft, natch). I kind of had an idea of what I wanted it to be from the outset: from where I was standing, it felt like there were a lot of kind of "trashy" sorts of establishments, the kind that are holes in the wall. So I wanted to take a different approach. A few weeks after I came to Balmung (almost a year and a half ago now!), there was an open event that, while I was too overwhelmed to participate in even with the small group I attended with, I came to love the concept of: the Sinner's Sanctuary.

Unfortunately, I wasn't an experienced roleplayer and the venue was small, operating out of a private chamber. The text scroll overwhelmed me and I quickly backed out of the event, going off to level my character instead.

Still, the vibe was great, and it stuck with me. After apartments were released, I even obtained permission from the owner to use the new Sinner's Sanctuary location for some Ebonguard meetups! While it doesn't seem like the venue's tumblr is up anymore, I still have the event flyers from that time along with a screencap from the meetup itself!

(Came for the crime, stayed for the Duskwights.)

I've always been attracted to classier joints, because I play a character who fancies himself to be a man of class. Leonnaux, who spends most of his time on the Ebonguard network playing up the image of his actually-nonexistent-employer, Crow (they're the same person, though he does his best to obscure this fact), dresses nice. He tends to stay away from rougher elements, as he's an information broker, not a fighter. In fact, prior to relatively recently, he looked down on mercenaries, and he still looks down on people who will jump to bloodshed as a first solution rather than the last one. This holds true even as he's ascended the ranks through his Free Company, the Artifice of Reason, which is a research institute... Though having people of loose morals and tight lips has always been a bit of a trend at the (IC) higher rungs of the organization.

Within the first year of Ebonguard's run, we were lucky enough to have one of our members (then-officer, though all of our officers are, in a similar manner to The Cloak & Dagger Staff, volunteers; when real life starts kicking in, I'm not about to hold it against anyone for stepping down into a role that they are more comfortable with), Itara designate their FC room as a space for Ebonguard use.

(1, 2)

Although a little bit spookier than the Sinner's Sanctuary, it still gave off the kind of vibe I liked: it was classy, it was exclusive. There were zones sectioned off so that groups looking to do business could have a bit of privacy to their negotiations. Unfortunately, the Lucky #7 didn't last much longer past its grand opening, either; Itara's only one person and running a full-on venue on a regular basis is more than I think one person could begin to handle. That said, it was decorated nicely, and the overall 'feel' of the Lucky #7 was one that I attempted, unsuccessfully, to emulate in the first iteration of the Cloak & Dagger's basement.

(This cooler-colored, barless basement is what the Cloak & Dagger could have been, but two redecorations later and I found something that I liked a more. After some trial and error with personal RP and figuring out that having people's backs in the wall is a really bad idea for camera angles, the current iteration, pictured below, was born. Even so... I might revisit this particular concept. This was designed before they added blank partitions, so matching the wall was a huge pain in the ass and it was really cramping my style, hence why I changed it.)

(Unfortunately, blank partitions have an ugly border and can't be backed into the corner at an angle to hide it, so white partitions kind of continue to cramp my style. It’s fucked up because they can be scooted into the wall if they’re straight-on, just not at an angle!! Reeeeeee!!)

Fast forward to November, and I'm gathering up volunteers for a soft-opening, which surprisingly goes pretty quickly. Lots of people were interested, though only a few people stuck around. I schedule it for January, and it goes well enough with only a few staff members on hand. And then, a few weeks later... The grand opening. Last night!

I'll be completely honest, I was not expecting nearly as many people as showed up. if I'd known we'd get such a large group, I would have recruited a few more volunteer staff beforehand (or tried to, at least). Still, it was fun! It was fun to learn how these things are done, and I didn't freak out nearly as much as I thought I would. It was interesting forcing myself in the sort of position where I had to do a little bit of walk-up, although I left that mainly to the rest of the staff and have Leonnaux just help out where needed with taking orders and the like.

At one point, every table except the ones at the veeery front had at least one person at them! It was wild! But again, a good learning experience, and now that we have a proof of concept, The Cloak & Dagger's staff and I are looking at ways to incorporate more of a criminal element into the events themselves.

While I thought, at first, about doing the "order this drink for Crime RP," I know that another group used that gimmick in the past and, while I enjoyed it, I didn't want to 'rip-off' that group. (I have since been notified that this is actually a relatively common trope, so in the future we will look at including this venue feature.) Meanwhile, the idea of a password was also appealing since it would open up the crime RP to people outside of the Ebonguard, where the usual schtick at past meet-ups was to show off the black linkpearl for a free drink. Unfortunately, the idea of a password is also a bit... Unwieldy, all things considered; the only character who would then be in a position to take said password would be my character, and although I consider myself an experienced DM at this point, I also still just one person, and also would like to not hog all the criminal RP action.

In the future, I'd also like to see some performers, although I'm not exactly sure about how one goes about attracting those in general, let alone the sorts of performers who would be likely to play on the stage of The Cloak & Dagger rather than, say, a pub or dive bar, for example. That, though, is a bridge to cross later; performances are a tertiary interest at best, since the main focus of the venue is and always will be on the criminal aspect! Unless people just really, really want to get drunk, in which case I'll gladly provide the recipe for the cocktail that a menu item is based on: the Gold Court! In real life, it's actually a pretty specific cocktail from a pretty specific restaurant. It's called The Great Gatsby, and it's actually delicious. The Lillet Blanc is a little bit expensive, but I don't hate it even on its own and I mean, I doubt that kind of thing expires?

The other menu parallels I think are obvious: the Cloak & Dagger is a Black Russian with vanilla vodka, the martini is a martini (I actually considered making it specifically the Vesper Martini, you know, the one from James Bond? But then I decided against it. I don't remember why. The Bond reference remained in the menu description though and earned an amusing reaction from Itara.) A Dark n Stormy is a Dark n Stormy and was included on the menu mostly for want of a better item to include. I've never had most of these cocktails, but I tried to spread their flavor profiles out dramatically, and technically the bar can make any cocktail your imagination can think up as long as you communicate with the barkeeps as to what it is. Food items were variously adapted from the CUL recipe list and just made up on the spot by making lore inferences; i.e. since fried popotoes are mentioned in the Battered Fish item description and Salt Cod Puffs are basically deep-fried, I decided that chicken tenders were probably alright to include.

The next opening of The Cloak & Dagger will be on March 11 at the same time: 8PM EST! We're looking for more volunteers for staff, mostly people who are willing to act as hosts/greeters and security (both to confiscate weapons AT THE DOOR THIS TIME! I'M A FOOL! and to make sure no fights break out... Rowdiness might be entertaining, but bar fights aren't in the spirit of the venue IC or OOC.)

We hope to see you there!