#the not gc2b ones are like.. as far as i know i got from someone local who was working w wholesale/manufacturer in china to help ppl get

[whomturgled]

seeing as december's a day away and that means ~holiday season~- i have a bunch of old binders of various makes & sizes (some idk origin, a few gc2b, anywhere from XS to L?, diff colours/types) that i wld love to give to ppl who need them. i can update this l8r with more details but ig i was wondering if anyone wld be interested or knows anyone in need? id be willing to ship within canada, maybe to the USA for small enough pckg. otherwise i'll just donate to a local binder exchange but i figured this way if anyone is in particular need it's nice to know im directly helping ig!

i also have some rolls of biege kinesiology tape if that's of interest either in itself or in addition.

peace n love on planet earth

[my-castles-crumbling]

HI

I've been meaning to buy a binder. Is there anyway someone could help me know which ones are good?

Hello!

So the ones that I see recommended the most are gc2b and tri-top.

But honestly you might have to try a couple different ones before you find one that works best for you. Every body is different, so what works best for me might not work well for you. Wherever you go, just make sure to check reviews for sizing, length of wear, and if it is returnable if it doesn't fit. In general, try to go with queer-owned or queer-informed companies with LOTS of reviews. This is not the time to buy from a random place to save a few bucks.

As far as personal experience, I got tri-top and I wasn't a huge fan of the shape (small amounts of gaping) but it worked great for binding.

If you have a smaller chest, you could also try TransTape. It's not as binding by itself (especially since I have a larger chest) but I find it the most comfortable for longer-term wear and since I have a tummy, it doesn't roll up like some binders do. If you do get it though, make sure to use oil to remove it and use nipple covers to protect your skin.

Hope that helps!

(Anyone else have recommendations?)

[solradguy]

I hope this isn't too inappropriate a question, but I was wondering if you have any advice when it comes to binders? Like, I know a lot of the minutia, but are there any companies you recommend that make good ones? I'm new to the whole actually-doing-it part and I've found conflicting stuff so I though it was better to ask someone who went through that whole thing already. Tbh I don't know anything about your transition and you might not have even did much of that but you're like the main transguy I know

No worries at all!! I'm really comfortable talking about trans stuff and what I've had to do to get where I am, so if you have any other questions please don't hesitate to toss 'em my way and I'll do my best to help out. The only major trans stuff I haven't done yet are any surgeries and changing my name/legal gender marker (pain in the ass to do in Ohio....).

I got kinda lucky and don't really have much boob tissue going on so I don't bind very often, but I do have two GC2B binders: a full tank and a half one. The full one is a lot more comfortable, imo, because I can tuck it into my pants and it kinda like smooths my entire situation out instead of squishing just my upper body and chafing under my ribcage lol. Unfortunately, GC2B's binder quality has dropped BAD in the last 5 years or so. If you can get one for free or dirt cheap then it might be worth it, but otherwise I'd avoid them.

One of my other trans masc buddies has some binders from Underworks that he really likes. He used to have one of the GC2B ones and it got a huge hole right in the middle of it after less than a year... As far as I know, his Underworks ones are still holding up and it's been over two years now. He did say that they were pretty stiff when they first came in and that washing them with just a tiny bit of fabric softener helped. Be careful using too much fabric softener on them though or they'll loosen up maybe too far. Here's their site: https://www.underworks.com/tri-top-chest-binder

I've seen people say Shapeshifter's binders are good too, though I don't personally know anyone who has one by them. They're a lot more expensive than the Underworks binders.... Here's their site: https://shapeshifters.co/

Make sure you read the sizing charts!!! The very first binder I ever bought was WAAAAYYYYY too small because I didn't read the chart very well... I've found that following the chart and then going up one or two sizes fits the best, depending on how big your chest is/how much compression you'll need.

Here's a big spreadsheet document of a lot of other trans resources with comments on specific things for each site too, like where they're based, shipping details (if the packaging is discrete or not, etc), if they're a charity, and so on. There are other binder websites listed and sites for other gender affirming clothing and packers and stuff too: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1lSKoxVant40alYL-MZAP9QekUxjl3mH2EB3MidSk0b8/edit#gid=0

There's also this post with even more resources, but it might be a bit overwhelming going through it all right now haha Including it anyway just in case: https://solradguy.tumblr.com/post/719033735814742016

Good luck!! I hope you're able to find one that both fits and is comfortable to wear for long periods ^^

[panics-side-blog]

Wanted to give my two cents to the post since I bought them and similar binders as a baby trans dude to reinforce that buying them is a bad idea.

I legit had gotten nerve damage because of them, the right side of my rip hurt badly after wearing them for half a year, didn't help that I sometimes wore a sports bra over them to reinforce the added pressure when I had sport class.

Breathing hurt and not the normal amount you would get when you binde, it legit stung really badly on the side where I had the zipper.

It took about 2 years for my body to recover from that, 2 years of me getting random stings of pain and trouble breathing because of that.

I know dysphoria can fuck you up majorly and sometimes the pain and damage feels like a minimal problem compared how much dysphoria can mess with someone, but please if you have the money and strength get a better binder.

I personally got mine from trans-missie, mine costed about 35 € per binder but only because they where specifically tailored for my body since they had an option for that.

I don't know if they ship outside of Europe tho, they are a company in the Netherlands if I remember right.

As far as I'm aware they also make stuff for trans women and are still a safe company to buy from unlike another company I heard from who's quality downgraded to a dangerous degree (can't sadly really remember which one it was but I believe it was gc2b I recommend doing some research.)

Hey, PSA for younger/newer transmascs:

Tumblr has been showing targeted ads for "FTM binders" off Amazon. They look like this:

Do not buy these.

A binder is a piece of medical equipment. If you use one incorrectly, or use a poorly made one, you can really fuck up your ribs. This article from the Cleveland Clinic talks about how to bind safely.

A $14 binder is guaranteed not to be safe. There's a reason reputable companies charge more- sometimes a lot more. They have to carefully design binders so they don't crush your ribs or make you sick.

You know how everyone says Don't Bind With Duct Tape? Don't bind with Amazon binders.

[ftm-radio]

Do you have any tips on wearing a binder? Might be getting one soon :DDD

ayyyy that's awesome! very happy for you!

here's my advice, in no particular order:

make sure the binder is the right size. taking measurements is kind of annoying and uncomfortable, but necessary bc if your binder is too small it's unsafe and if it's too big it just won't work.

don't buy binders off Amazon. 😬😬😬 a lot of "binders" for sale are not safe, like the ones with the clasps on one side. the two companies I know of that are pretty good are gc2b (that's where I got my binders) and underworks, so I'd suggest sticking to them.

⚠️ Edit, March 2023:

This has gotten rbed a few times and I just wanna mention that gc2b quality has gotten pretty bad so I don't recommend them anymore. as far as I know Underworks is still okay, and a couple other brands I've heard good things from are Spectrum Outfitters and ForThem (I have a ForThem binder myself!)

if you can, I recommend having someone you trust help you get into your binder when you first get it. the first time I put on a binder, the back of it rolled up pretty bad so I was grateful to have my sister there to lend a hand. if you're going it alone I'm sure you'll manage, just take it slow and don't panic, lol.

as far as putting it on, I just stick my arms through the arm holes, pull it over my head, tug it all the way down, and then adjust whatever needs adjusting. first few times were tricky, but now it's easy peasy.

oh, and if you have to go in and arrange your chest tissue inside the binder, you'll want to kinda just.. aim those bad boys towards your armpits. don't push it all straight down bc that's not good for you. I think there's a bit of flexibility here, just make sure it's not painful or super uncomfy and it should be fine.

for the first few wears, it's ok (and probably best) to just go for a couple hours at a time. it's a weird, different thing so it'll take you some time to get used to it.

idk if underworks has the same options but gc2b has tank and half-tank binders. if you have a smaller chest a half-tank might be great for you, but I've found that the full tank is way better for me as a fat dude. the full tanks have an extra inch or two in the binding panel, the part that flattens your chest, so it holds everything better for me.

do not exercise in your binder, and do not swim in your binder. you should be able to do daily activities just fine without being hindered by the binder, but you should not be running a marathon or going to the gym in a binder.

absolutely do not sleep in your binder, as it can restrict your breathing if you do.

no more than 8 hours at a time, friend. seriously. wearing a binder for too long can make your back/shoulders and your ribs ache, which happened to me a couple times when I just went one hour over. you def don't wanna overdue it. if you're worried about losing track of time, set an alarm on your phone for when you need to get out of your binder.

if you can, take a break or two while you're binding. taking it off for even just 5–10 minutes and doing some stretches can be really helpful.

take at least one day a week to be binder-free and rest ur body. ideally, if you can get away with not binding most of the time at home that's even better (I usually only bind when I go out, these days) but everybody has different needs.

make sure you wash your binder, especially if you're wearing it a lot and getting sweaty. if you don't have the spoons/energy to wash it by hand like recommended (I sure as hell don't) I've found that tossing it in a mesh bag in the washer cleans it just fine w/o it falling apart. let it air dry and don't put it in the dryer bc that will break it down faster.

okay, that's all I can think of right now. sorry if this is all stuff you've seen before, and if I've missed anything. 😅

good luck!!!

[the-t-boy-king]

My personal reviews of binders and trans tape.

So I've been binding for a few months now and I thought I would give some reviews. I have a rather large chest (about a 38 DD). Most binding methods I see are done by people with smaller chests. I thought I would give my opinions for my big coconut homies.

Please remember that these are my opinions from my experience. Of course it'll be different for everyone. Also I'm trying to get as flat as I can. Some people who use binders aren't aiming to be flat and that's fine! This is just from one they/them who wishes to not have coconuts. Look into these binders yourself to find the right one for you.

One last thing, if y'all would like, I can model the compression top, for them and my gc2b binders. Let me know and I'll be happy to do it so you can sew how they fit me.

1. Tomboy X compression top: 6/10.

It's like a tight sports bra. It does make my breast a bit smaller. I normally use it at the gym and on the days I take breaks from my binder. It keeps things in place. I recommend it for when you need to take a break or when you work out at the gym.

2. For them binder: 0/10

I tried it and it did nothing for me. A normal sports bra did more for me. I followed the steps on the website. It doesn't have normal sizes which I find really annoying and can be potentially dangerous. You need to be careful with what sizes you wear or else you could hurt yourself. My size was Gemini and again it did nothing for me. The people who model them most of the time are skinny and have smaller chests. I think I've only seen like 3 plus size models on their Instagram. Plus their binder killed my shoulders. It's also hella expensive. It's a nice idea and I will say I love the feeling of their binder but I kinda feel like it's a rip off. At least to someone with big mommy milkers. I really think they need to do regular sizes and not cutesy named one. I get the idea behind it but I think it's more important to say this is a large binder and not call it a Gemini or whatever. Like I said, the vast majority of people who recommend the for them binder are skinny and have smaller chest. Most of the larger chest people say it doesn't work for them. They also fit me weird and I just don't like it.

3. Trans Tape: 3/10

I really, really tried trans tape. I watched so many videos and read on how to do it but I couldn't figure it out. I'm giving it some leeway since I got really frustrated and could have done better. Plus I love the idea of wearing it for multiple days and to be able to sleep, shower and workout in it. On the other hand, it's also really expensive since you'll have to buy it at least every month. For me, it's really hard to use and honestly too expensive. I still have some tape left so I'll give it another shot and might ask a close friend to help. Also this is just my opinion but trans tape seems like it can be more harmful than a regular binder. It can rip your skin if you take it off wrong, can hurt your nipple if you don't have a nipple gard and cause blisters. While binders can cause back pain if you wear the wrong size or wear it too long, it doesn't put your nipples at risk. I also don't like the thought I might be walking around a store or at the gym and have it slowly peel off. I would die of embarrassment if one of my coconuts just popped up because the tape came loose. I feel like it's a bit risky wearing it after a few days.

4. gc2b: 8/10

Now I've seen a lot of people trashing gc2b a lot lately. Saying things like their binders fall apart easily and get stretched out within a month. My experience so far is that they're great. I have a couple of their binders and none of them are falling apart and I wear them nearly daily. They do have a few loose threads here and there but again I wear them a lot so that's to be expected. I usually just burn the threads to make sure they don't get worse. I had one for about a month now and it hasn't stretched out much. They make me fairly flat and I love them so far. My biggest problems with them is that they roll up a lot and they can be super hot where I live. Other than that, they've been great. I got them really quickly in the mail and their team is super nice. I had to return a binder cause I didn't like how it fit me and I got my money back basically the same day I sent it back.

So those are my reviews. If I try anymore binders, I'll add to this list. And I want to give y'all a quick reminder: no one has a completely flat chest. Not even cis men. They have a bit of a bump on their chests due to fat or muscles. I know that it can be frustrating to not be completely flat but take your time. And PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BIND SAFELY! YOU CAN SERVE HURT YOURSELF IF YOU DON'T!

[cowboyfairy]

passing for pre-t trans dudes from someone who’s actually pre-t

hey so this has been requested a lot. i’m a trans dude with an incredibly unsupportive family who have denied me access to gender therapists, a name change, any kind of medical transition and have threatened to disown me if i ever try to start hormones. i’ve been out for three years and i’ve learnt what works and what doesn’t in terms of passing. thought it might help some of you guys out.

Hair:

short. i know it’s sounds obvious but a lot of trans dudes go for that kinda justin beiber circa 2010-esque look and it’s really not gonna do wonders for you. ask for something basic, short back and sides is generally what to go for, and longer on top, but be careful they don’t give you that classic lesbian undercut. some trans guys are lucky and can pull off slightly longer hair, but it’s better to go short and just leave a bit of length on the top to style. get the edges of your hair squared off, or do it yourself if they didn’t do it for you. ask for a grade three/two. go to either a unisex salon or a barbers, but really don’t try your luck with a regular hairdressers, they’re either gonna give you the Ellen DeGeneres style or the can i speak to the manager style.

this was my most recent haircut. i have naturally blonde hair but darker colours often help you pass better, so i dye mine brown every time i get a haircut.

Face:

Unless you’re very talented with makeup, don’t listen to people telling you to contour to get a more masculine face shape. it doesn’t work and just makes you look feminine as you’ve got a load of makeup on your face. keep it natural. cis guys have thicker eyebrows naturally, castor oil and coconut oil can both be bought online or in health stores and can be put on your eyebrows to help them grow a bit thicker, but it doesn’t work equally as well for everyone. if you still want to try and use a little bit of makeup then eyebrows can benefit from a TINY (and i mean tiny) bit of eyeshadow to darken them up. if you want to, shave your peach fuzz, it doesn’t really do much to help you pass but it can be a dysphoria alleviater for some people.

Voice:

Those humming exercises you’ve seen don’t work. nothing is gonna physically change your voice permanently except testosterone. however , speaking confidently and loudly can help as those are seen as more typically male traits. try to use your chest voice (watch a youtube vid on head voice vs chest voice if you don’t know what i mean) and look people in the eyes when you talk to them. you can’t change your voice but you can change how you talk to people. confidence can make you seem far more typically masculine.

Binding and packing:

binding is obviously super important but if you can’t do it for personal reasons then please don’t feel bad. i have three binders from gc2b, two nude ones and a dark blue one. the nudes are good for wearing white shirts as they don’t draw attention to the fact you’re wearing one, but can look a bit odd if people do see them peaking out the top of your shirt, which is why the darker one comes in handy. people assume it’s just an undershirt/vest. Personally i don’t pack as i find it creates more dysphoria than it alleviates, but there are some good youtube vids about packing.

Clothing:

everyone’s style is different but i’ve found that a couple staple wardrobe items help to pass more. smart trousers with belts always look masculine, paired with a casual tee. i’m kinda into the e-boy aesthetic at the moment but all of my favourite outfits have belts to pull it together. shirts that are too baggy are gonna swamp you, so even though i know they help with the chest bump from binding, try to wear something more flattering. h&m do some really good shirts that aren’t too baggy but loose enough to cover the bump.

This outfit of mine is causal but super masc, without having to resort to a flannel shirt and shorts. i find wearing trousers and not jeans has really helped me. jeans, even from the men’s section tend to hug parts of my body i really don’t want them to, whereas trousers (pants i guess if you’re american?) fit me properly and make my legs look longer and straighter. wear shoes that make your feet look bigger if possible. i know clothing is hard for a lot of people because obviously it costs s lot of money but these nike air force 1s are definitely the most masculine pair of shoes i own despite being a unisex design. they’re rounded at the top, and give me an extra inch of height. there are shoes in similar styles to this that aren’t branded at just normal clothes stores that will be a lot cheaper.

General:

i count this section as just other little things i’ve found that help me pass. a lot of it is body language. stand up straight and look confident even if you aren’t. look up when you walk, i know it sounds silly but it’s surprising how often i catch myself staring at the floor when i’m walking. walk with bigger strides and when you’re standing, have your feet apart and keep your arms visible so you look more confident. i get misgendered far more when ive got my arms tightly crossed in front of me and i’m hunched over. confidence radiates masculinity even if that’s sounds toxic. when you sit, manspread. cis dudes do it for a reason. do little but stereotypically masculine things like let women go through doors before you. i know this all sounds like i’m violently trying to enforce masculine gender roles but y’all understand how it feels to just want to fit in with everyone else.

this is all i could think of for now and i’m sorry if it’s super lacklustre but i tried my best :)

[doberbutts]

 Okay so this is going to get long and more than a little bit tmi but it’s a post summing up some strides I’ve made regarding my own transgender journey and I wanted a place to talk about it and maybe help some BabyTrans figure themselves out along the way so I’m putting it under the cut but it’ll go here >:V

Anyway long story short my insurance settlement from my car accident finally figured itself out and I found myself suddenly $30k richer and immediately spent about $10k of that digging myself out of a very deep debt hole I’ve been wallowing in for a while so now I have some actual financial stability plus have some money to throw at some things that would probably make my life a bit better.

And since I have the money to throw at some things, I bought myself a few new binders and also a packer. Binders because my old one was literally disintegrating- part of that is my fault, washing binders in an industrial machine on high heat plus throwing it in the dryer means your binder falls apart faster than it should. Remember I’m from the very end of Ye Olden Days of transmasc products, which means previously most binders lasted a year at most. My binder made it 2.5 years before giving up and becoming a sports bra instead. I’ve learned from my mistakes and treat my binder(s) much more gently now, plus I have more than one so I can rotate them out and not wear the same binder 8-12 hours daily for 2.5 years and kill it doing exactly the same shit.

For reference sake, I’m 5′10′’, 180lbs, 36C bust, and fit a XL from gc2b. Which is who I bought both my previous binder and my current set from. They are low cost, lightweight, well made, and LGBT-owned and operated which makes me super into buying from them instead of some of the other companies offering something similar.

Being that I am biracial and finding something my skintone is always somewhat... interesting... I followed the internet’s suggestion and went with PeeCock for the packer. I’d bought a zip binder from them a few years ago and actually found that to be the most comfortable binder I’ve ever used in the history of ever, but I will say the durability of zip binders is low compared to pull-over binders in my experience, as the zipper exploded one day when I bent down to pick up a small dropped item. I’d had the binder and was rotating its use with my pullover gc2b for about 6 months when this happened, and was in public when I went from flat chested to big uncontained tiddies in the span of seconds. Not great. I’ve been told that probably means it was a little too small for me, but PeeCock is a company based in Singapore, and their sizes like most East Asian clothing do run quite a bit small (I was a XXL in PeeCock sizes when I wore a size L gc2b binder) so there’s not really a lot of wiggle room for me to go up in size. Additionally their sizing taps out at XXXL so anyone who’s bigger than me in the chest/torso is a bit out of luck for their binders. A shame, because that zip binder was so comfortable I fell asleep in it forgetting I even had it on more than once.

Anyway. Since I did like that binder even though we had the wardrobe mishap, and the internet had pretty good reviews on the PeeCock packers because they are multifunctional and actually make correct skin tones for black dudes, I got one. Since money wasn’t an issue I did get the most recent model which was not cheap (~$300) and so far I like it a lot. I got so used to wearing it that when I take it off to clean it, it actually really bothers me. The weight of it is... comforting, in a way.

HOWEVER I did see a bunch of reviews about how I would be super likely to pee on myself the first time using it and then used it and went “wow I don’t have any idea what you guys are talking about this is easy” aaaaand... then peed on myself by accident. Gotta control your stream or things are going to overflow and you’re going to be really sad. And wet. And stinky. Thankfully I had the forethought to practice at home before actually doing this at work/public restrooms but be warned. Being that this is my first one I can’t say if this is common with all packers however I told several of my transmasc friends that do pack and use STP about this experience and they all assured me they did the exact same thing on and off for the first couple weeks and most of them do not have the same brand. We’ve yet to have a repeat at least?

Plus there’s a little attachment rod so I can use it for sexy times with the boyf and also feel what I’m doing to him so there’s that too. 10/10 A+ experience would recommend. The packaging warns you to be careful how you pack because of the way the silicone works, and your partner cannot be on top or ride you, so keep that in mind if you’re considering it. Cleaning is pretty straightforward however and packing feels correct and natural as long as you follow a few rules:

I’ve discovered that whatever size you consider a perfect fit? Unless you like really relaxed fit for your pants, you’ll need to go a size up. I wear tighter clothing and usually skinny jeans at that, and my exact perfect size has been 34/32 for some time now. When packing I need to go up to 36/32 because otherwise wow that crotch is way too tight. I can’t sit down in one of my pairs of jeans and I’m legit sad about it. I also can’t have anything in the pockets of a different pair of jeans or else I have the same tight crotch problem. I went up a size in underwear and that was more comfortable, so I ordered new pants from online and I’ll see if that helps as much as I’m expecting it too.

Speaking of underwear, ymmv, but I genuinely did not expect this. Jockstraps? Super comfy, super durable, and super convenient. Additionally unlike boxers or even briefs, I don’t need a special packing-specific design to be comfortable in one. I never wore one before and honestly this doesn’t even feel like wearing underwear. They’re really just a banana hammock anyway so that’s probably a large part of it, but honestly I would definitely recommend trying them if you haven’t yet. I do have a few pairs of packing briefs and boxers, as well as normal briefs and boxers, and I’ve been alternating between the various types of undies to see which ones I prefer, but I already know my decision so I bought several because I can. One word of advice, though... if your pants ride down understand that your entire butt will be out. I don’t wear low rise pants because they draw too much attention to my waistline and make me super dysphoric, but those that do, watch out.

Jockmail is highly rated and multiple transmasc websites recommend them for packing and I can absolutely see why. Usually the waistband of my underwear irritates my skin and so I was dubious because Jockmail stuff- being that it’s for athletic wear- has a minimum waistband of about 2in... but it’s actually more comfortable and less��irritating, rather than the other way around. They also have briefs, boxers (more like short shorts), and boxer briefs, which I also have of the same brand, but... not as comfy. Once again Jockmail is a Hong Kong company so like all East Asian clothes, they run small. I’m a M in most men’s clothing sizes... I am XXL in Jockmail. I also had purchased a brief harness from PeeCock (goes by inches for waist) as well. (Also where I discovered you need to go a size up- I bought a 34in waist brief from PeeCock and it’s a tad tight. I bought a 36in waist brief from Jockmail and it’s perfect. I have been buying 34in waist things for the past few years now- I didn’t suddenly gain 2 inches at the waist, I did suddenly gain a need for a deeper crotch)

If you look down your body from above it will be super obvious that there is a dick there and you will go “oh god I look like I have an erection”. I have been reliably informed that it is actually not true and if you pack correctly a bulge will be there but not so obvious that it looks like you have a raging hardon the whole time. Better to look in the mirror, rather than down your tummy.

(Additionally I voiced my doubts to my boyf who immediately reminded me that most people don’t spend their time staring at someone’s crotch and as long as I wasn’t constantly messing with mine, no one was likely to notice even if I did have an obnoxiously obvious bulge. He then gave me some tips on how to let it hang if I wanted a “natural” look, and when we walked around while I had it on he made sure to check in on my mental health. He’s cute y’all.)

Some (cis) guys will have a specific leg they like to let things hang against. Some switch it up. Some are okay with it hanging straight down provided there’s not a lot of squish happening. Find what feel comfortable and needs the least amount of adjustment for you, and then stick with that. For me, I’ve found straight down or off to the left feels better- a friend of mine prefers off to the right, another straight down only, etc. Also can depend on the size- some (cis) guys I know are a bit smaller down below and are more comfortable with straight down than those with larger weiners.

If you pack you probably need to shave. I was very uncomfortable until I shaved. Now I feel much better packing. So trim that jungle or else you might feel a pinch every few minutes when a hair gets pulled.

And there you have me this morning before I got dressed. As you can see, both fit very nicely. I’m not particularly happy with my stomach or feminine hip set but eh, I cover those with layers and no one bats an eye.

At this point it’s figuring out the whole hormones thing, yelling at my insurance to cover certain surgeries, and... fixing some minor details with my wardrobe... and I’m feeling way more confident than I was a few years ago.

Anyway if anyone has questions feel free to hit me up

[littleogreboii]

Late night trans boy thoughts

I say late night, it’s like 21:40 here. I’m kind of in the middle of a breakdown atm. My psychology exam went bad on Monday. I don’t have any more school lessons ever, which my brain is still like ‘what’ over. And, I’m meant to have emailed both my photography and art teacher stuff. Also, was meant to put up my stuff for the photography exhibition today, but didn’t. And, my cat has a cut on his head which is stressing me out. So, I’m kind of shakey atm.

To top it all off, my dysphoria is acting up, which is bizarre because I literally felt alright about it earlier. I walked past a kid earlier with my bike and they were like “why is he-” and I wanted to cry. I assume they were going to ask “why is he walking his bike?” but didn’t get to the end of the sentence before one of their siblings shut them up, but I was super happy. (Also, I was walking because stressed out me thought cycling with a binder on was a great idea. It wasn’t, but that’s more because my knees gave up on me.) My dysphoria obviously doesn’t care though because it’s here telling me that one of the siblings probably ‘corrected’ them. Which sucks. 

While, I’m suffering though and as an outlet I thought ‘let’s make a tumblr post’ because watching videos of twinfools transitioning isn’t helping. However, I’m quickly running out of things to say and I’m still shakey.

Well, let’s do story time because that’s always a fun time. Yeah, we’ll do the story of me realising I’m trans to present day.

We need to go back about 2 and a half years for this. This was when gender identity was becoming a big subject in my school, especially when one my classmates came out as trans. At that point, I began thinking about it and my brain began pointing out certain scenarios and feelings. I thought about how as a kid, I’d wanted to be ‘one of the lads’. Like the boys would ritualistically play football and I would always join them. There were other girls that would join in, but I didn’t really interact with them. I just wanted to appear like one of the lads. 

However, even back then it was pretty clear that I wasn’t one of the ‘lads’. I hit puberty pretty early. By the age of about 10, I had started my period and my boobs had begun to develop. I never really liked having boobs. I’ve always viewed them as kind of an irritation, although I’ve appreciated them on girls.

Anyway, at this point, my brain presented the pronouns ‘he/him’ to me and I waved them off. I thought there was no way and my toxic masculinity took over with ‘but you wear skirts and makeup’ and stuff like that. Instead, I went by they/them pronouns for a few months with some of my close friends. However, they never sat right. They made me squirm and I didn’t like that. But, I knew I wasn’t a fan of feminine pronouns either. I pushed through this for about 3/4 of a year, before deciding enough was enough.

I cut my hair short and you know you have people who are like ‘oh you’ll regret that’. I never have. I love my short hair. It highlights my jaw and makes my shoulders stand out. Before, my hair was so thick it was like the width of my shoulders so I looked strange.

Again, my brain was like ‘he/him’??? But, I was now determined to prove how ‘feminine’ I was. I went through a solid 3 months wearing as much makeup as possible and wearing skirts and dresses all the time. I would wear low cut clothing to show off my boobs, and I was so miserable. I hated every minute of those months. I hit such a low point and I just wanted to die.

I don’t remember how, but I stumbled upon gc2b’s website and in a final last ditch attempt, I ordered a binder. I figured, it would arrive and I would try it on and hate it, putting an end to all my affairs. It didn’t. I tried that binder on and I cried because I loved it. My chest looked so good and I tried on so many different shirts from my wardrobe in awe. There was no turning back for me. I didn’t tell anyone. 

I’m still not entirely out, but that’s mainly because I’m at the end of school so I might as well go in with a fresh start at uni. I’m in the process of telling all my close friends, but most of them I’ve been friends with since I was 6 so it’s difficult. However, they’re good people so I’m not stressed about that side of it. My family are the more stressful side to it. My relationship with my dad is very strained, like I hardly speak with him as he had an affair a couple years ago and it was a bit of a messy divorce. I think my mum would be accepting, but I think she wouldn’t really know how to deal with it. That and she would probably end up outing me to virtually everyone, before I was ready. I’m not worried about my siblings and I know most of my cousins would be chill. My biggest concern is my nan. I love her so much and the idea of her not accepting me hurts. My other grandparents, I know, probably won’t accept me straight away, but I think after talking it other with them over a period of time, they might at least be able to bear it. I don’t even want to think about my aunts and uncles. Most of them are assholes or drunks. One of them is a well-meaning homophobe. Like he doesn’t get it, but he accepts that he’s probably just old-fashioned and has asked my opinion on homosexuals on different occasions. So, I think he’d be alright with it if I explained it well enough. 

I think my biggest issue with most of them though is toxic masculinity. I still occasionally wear dresses because I like the swish-swish feel. I don’t own many anymore though because straight after I accepted I was trans, I got rid of nearly all my ‘feminine styled’ clothes. I kept a couple skirts I’d brought during my ‘I MUST BE A GIRL’ phase, but that’s because I’d brought them so recently, my mum would be like ‘wtf these are pretty much new’. However, those skirts were all pencil and I don’t like the way they accentuate my hips. But, I still occasionally buy a dress and I sometimes sit in my prom dress. These don’t really bring attention to my chest or hips, so I like them. Well, the prom dress does, but I only really wear that to twirl around for a bit because it feels great. Honestly, if you’ve never worn a dress, 10/10 recommend if only for the twirl effect. I still wear makeup too. I never really wore makeup to look ‘pretty’. I wore it to see how funky I could do it. Like seeing how wild I can go with the eye shadow.

The thing with realising your gender though, is you’re more aware of your dysphoria. Before, it was a mild ‘get rid of your boobies’. Now, it’s ‘your tits bounce when you walk and everyone can see it happening’ whenever I don’t have a binder on and ‘its not really flat though is it’ when I do have my binder on. As well as, ‘your voice is too high pitched, you write too feminine, and your hips sway too much when you walk’. These are combat-able though. Like I’ll be like ‘not every guy has a deep voice’ and I’ll remind myself of the female dance teacher I had as a kid who had a really deep voice. The ‘writing too feminine’ one is harder because this was something a friend told me. Like he straight up said he didn’t entirely believe I was trans because of the way I wrote (messages and stories). (We’re on better terms now. I explained to him that he hasn’t met every trans guy in existence and my gender is personal to me. He’s apologised and in his own twisted way he was looking out for me because he knows someone who started meds before realising that it wasn’t what they wanted. He also got me talking to one of his genderfluid friends for advice on dysphoria and stuff like that. He just struggled for a bit because his hetero ass had a big crush on me, but he knows that’s his problem to solve.) His words do still occasionally affect me though. I’m constantly reminding myself that writing has no gender. Instead, it is determined by age and exposure to tumblr.

Realising I was trans wasn’t all bad though. I would get romantic attractions to people, but I could never really picture doing anything with them. And, now I understand why. I thought I was asexual for the longest time and I still have yet to change that in my bio, but I know why now. And, I mean some of it is that I’m still maturing and simply not ready for that level of commitment, but a lot of it was due to me realising what’s downstairs ain’t right.

This is my experience so far and I’m a long way away from being anywhere near content. However, typing this has actually calmed my dysphoria a little bit. Although, I’m still no closer to doing that work for art or photography.

[star-anise]

If you don't know this project, it's based on an idea I had in 2018 when I learned about a health study that said an overwhelming majority of people who wore chest binders (even good ones like GC2B) experienced negative health effects like back pain or shortness of breath

I had an idea for a new design. I took what I knew about historical clothing techniques and applied it to modern knitwear and elastic, and came up with a model that someone who knows how to sew could make for about $20.

I got as far as documenting my process:

Transform a sports bra into a binder: The Tutorial

I had a lot of really big plans for things that I would do, like collecting survey data to see how my test model compared to commercial binders, providing technical support to sewists, and creating a community hub for people to talk about their ideas and compare results.

I am not good at doing that kind of work! I seriously overcommitted myself and as I fell behind on the work—because a lot of people have tried the idea out and taken it different places and then come back to tell or ask me about it—I got more ashamed of admitting I couldn't.

So I would love to see what people are doing, hear how it's going, and talk about improvements for the future. I just... need to stop putting myself in the way of that process, and find ways to follow the discussion without anyone requiring me to answer asks or email in a timely manner.

(As for my own contributions? Right now it's a bit ambitious, but I hope I can get back to sewing more test models in 2022. There are ideas I want to try and issues I want to solve—for example, binders from this tutorial have tended to wear out and become de-elasticated fast, so I want to create models to keep that from happening. That's the kind of work I can do.)

Hey, it's @star-anise. I started this project but I've been struggling to keep it going ever since.

I need help.

I'm sure there are ways for people to share information about boned binder experiments, to link examples or review things for sale. I put myself at the bottleneck of this blog when I've struggled to keep my own life together. I can't run a community into the bargain.

So if the people interested in this idea find other ways to assemble and talk about it, I'll do my best to support and aid you by signalboosting. If somebody wants to keep this blog up, let me know.

Once I get my sewing studio back together, I still have more ideas to get back to testing. I just have to be more realistic about what I can and can't do.

[panspacecat]

My Story Thus Far

I’ve finally made the decision to talk about my story. This is something that people close to me probably don’t even know about, but here it goes anyways (buckle up because it’s probably going to get long and be messy).

I was born in a small town basically in the middle of nowhere. I was raised, with my younger sister, as a girl to like girly things and put into a private Christian school. I went to this school for basically all of my early life, but for a school with a dress code, I dressed more like a boy than a girl most of the time but didn’t really think anything of it. Girls had a selection of two skirts and pants (all khaki) and a handful of polo shirts, while boys had only the pants and shirts. Generally I wore the pants l, perfecting them to the skirts, but as it was a uniform, nobody really cared.

Halfway through sixth grade, we moved north, away from everything and everyone I knew. I didn’t take it well. When we moved, my sister and I started at a new school, another private Christian one (without a dress code). So I really started dressing how I wanted to, generally this meant jeans and T-shirts and sometimes sweatshirts. Basically also being forced to be fairly feminine, I thought: “Everyone else is probably going through the same problems” so I stoped worrying about what I wore.

While at this school, things started to... change. I hit puberty at some point in time, and that’s when I started to realize something was... off. Until then, I hadn’t ever been introduced to the LGBT community and had no idea what was happening. I just knew I didn’t like it. I’m not sure why, but little me always wanted to grow up into a more masculine person, but I had been repressing those feelings until this point. Having it hit me suddenly in the face, I got confused, but, once again, ignored it.

Time skip to the end of my sophomore year of high school. I was told I was going to move again to a different part of the state so I could be in a better public school. Once again, friendless. Since I have severe social anxiety, I wasn’t thrilled to go to a public school for the first time in my life. I started my junior year terrified, but almost immediately I found myself in a group of LGBT heavy people, ones that I didn’t know existed. I quickly realized I hadn’t found them, they came to me. One of the girls said she just knew that I was one of them, even though I had been denying myself for basically my whole life. Didn’t take long to realize I was an asexual, but at first I thought I was bi. My mom actually asked the question that made me realize I was pan romantic.

It was around that point, let’s call it roughly halfway through the year, that I started to question my gender identity. At first I thought I was genderfluid, on the non binary-masculine range. I tried to go by they/them, but my friends forgot a lot and, tbh I didn’t correct them most of the time. At this point I also tried different name ideas like Ashley, Alex, and Riley. Then when that didn’t feel right, I tried just non binary, thought I was definitely still masculine, and names such as (once again) Alex, Alexander, Roderich, and the one I ended up keeping, Arthur.

High school prom rolled around and I was practically forced to wear a dress. It was this point I once again started to question, am I really non binary? (The dress, though really pretty, was itchy and gave me a lot of body disphoria.) I started wondering if I was actually a guy. At some point I stopped thinking about it and practically forgot about it until summer rolled around.

My mom is pretty transphobic (I think, as she has said a lot of transfobic things and I’m afraid to come out because of backlash) and I was afraid of asking for a binder, because I thought she might figure out I was non binary. After the first time I asked and she said no, I dropped it for a while to realize I was a guy. With just a little more confidence, finally understanding all the stuff I had tried to hide from myself, I asked for a binder. I actually ended up getting one, which I was super thankful for, but it didn’t fit well and hurt my body. I knew about GC2B and how good their reputation was, and I really wanted to try one of their binders. I tried, basically begged, her to get me one, and she ended up doing so, and I absolutely LOVEE the binder.

I still wasn’t out to any of my family, but I wanted someone else to know. I ended up telling my younger sister, and though she didn’t understand, I tried to explain it to her, ending up asking her which of three names she thought was better, because I couldn’t decide and didn’t know what I liked best. The names were Roderich, Aiden, and Arthur. She went Arthur, which I’d been entertaining longest of the three and I’m actually glad that’s the one I ended up going with. Even though it’s only her who knows, and even though she messes up my pronouns fairly often, she’s trying and I am so glad someone finally knows who I really am. I just hope when the time is right, I can bring others into the light of who I really am.

If you actually read all that, thank you. This was a HUGE weight I needed to get off my chest. I’ll probably put updates, but I don’t know yet.

[mosaic-lights]

Chest binding: real talk

Alright. So I feel like there's been a lot of more one sided posts about chest binding lately so I'm gonna try and fix that. FYI this post is gonna be from my experiences and my perspectives as someone who has been binding for nearly a decade. Second disclaimer! This post is specifically aimed at trans men! It's not for cosplayers and the like. Third and final one. This is going to be a real talk. I'm not gonna sugar coat and I may sound like an ass but too many times have I seen the 'don't bind for 8+ hours uwu' posts. Now onto the talking part. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that most of you will have to bind for more than 8 hours a day. Between school, work, extra curricular and just generally being outside a house and having to be presentable the days go long. Like obviously avoid binding for long periods of time *if you can*. I, for most of the years I've been binding, could not avoid it. If you have to go a while don't beat yourself up about it. You can't exactly take a binder off in the middle of school or work to give your chest a break. And I didn't even have a bra to speak of so going out and binding wasn't an option. This is gonna seem like a tangent but it'll make sense in the end. You are going to hurt binding. If you are a larger B or above, or you're binding every day or for long times or any combination of the above. It. Will. Hurt. I'm going to take a minute to be real, real. Even binding safely as possible. You are going to get irreversible damage to your lungs, chest, shoulders, neck, cardiovascular and nervous systems. You can be lucky and end up with just a couple or all. Bind unsafely and you're 100% guaranteed for all. I'm not saying that to scare you. For 2-3 years I found with mad-scientist combinations of ace bandages, duct tape, undersized sports bras( technically training sports bras) and anything I could get my hands on. Because this was when I was a youngin and I was developing my lungs are now deformed. I pinched nerves in my shoulder and developed severely asthmatic esc lungs and breathing. I did it not to be edgy but it's because that's what was practical for my situation. So idk think of it as a warning. If you can bind safely do it. I've tried just about every brand and measure of binder. It will always hurt and do damage, some just less damage than others. It is going to hurt. No matter how you bind. And the bigger you are the more it's going to hurt tbh. That being said, and how this all relates to the previous shit, after a bit of time binding you will know when you've been binding too long. Honestly some days are just worse off. Sometimes the weather, or mood or whatever have you make it so you can't bind as long. When you know, I recommend taking the binder off. Irl example: at my college orientation I had to travel there early that morning and I was bound for 12+ hours. I felt awful once it was evening. I was in searing pain with every breath movement. It was almost midnight when i got back to the room we stayed in for the night and I could unbind. My binder has rubbed and actually cut into my skin( this was a lesser quality binder like 3$ on amazon I was wearing cause I needed a casual not dirty binder) and I was actively bleeding and cut from it. And I knew in my head that it had been on too long. Another thing that everyone brushes over is flatness. I'm pretty big in this area but my size was under a D so I assumed there was a way to get a flat chest. If you're a B( a mid-large b) or above. No flat chest for you. Is it unfair? Yes. Does it feel shitty? Yes. The 3$ amazon binder will not make you flat. Double binding will not make you flat. Ace bandages will not make you flat. The 30$ GC2B binder will not make you flat. That being said, gc2b is the best binder company there is as far as fit, selection, flatness, and everything that is possible in a binder. Another fun thing about being a bit bigger. That fat you're squishing from your chest? Yeah it has to go somewhere. You will have strange lumps of fat and rolls of skin and awkward pushes of skin on your arms, back, stomach and the like. Binders will wrinkle and roll on your skin, no matter what you do. You'll develop were extensions of the back of your arm from fat trying to escape there or your underarm. If you've got s good binder or a good system usually these are just annoying to physically feel. Another fun thing. Binders don't like it when you sit or lay. For some reason it just makes them wrinkle and turn and twist more. But eh, only so much you can do. I want to make it clear I'm not encouraging unsafe binding tips or endangering behavior. But for a lot of trans guys ' not binding for more than 8 hours a day uwu and only binding with the best ;;)))' is honest to God just not realistic and feasible for many of us. I just want younger trans guys or people who've just started binding to be aware of these things beforehand, not to deter them but just so you guys have a heads up.

[aquarianlights]

Hey I just have a question, as a transboy do you wear a binder on a daily basis and how do you deal in the summer if it's hot where you are? I find that it's extremely uncomfortable when it's hot to wear an extra layer and I'm just wondering if you know of any like lighter solutions than a normal binder? Xx

I actually don’t know any lighter solutions to binders, tbh. :/ I’m sorry. My favourite binder is from a company…uhm…GC2B? Or uh…something like that. Anyways…it’s absolutely amazing. And it’s actually rather breatheable, surprisingly. It does still get hot af, though. But I mean…during the summer, if you ARE going to wear binders…wear the ones that only cover the bare minimum. Like…only ones that cover your chest and nothing else. It helps with the heat problem a bunch. 😣 Coz I mean…if you don’t wear a binder, you’re probably gonna wear a bra (I hope???) so that’s still an extra layer in a sense but holy fuck bras are SO MUCH MORE BREATHEABLE THAN BINDERS. Not to mention they don’t squeeze you like binders do. “But that’s common sense, Riles. Don’t even go there.” Okay okay sorry. Tangent.

BUT. To answer your other question…I don’t always bind in the summer for the heat reasons. If I know I’m gonna be outside for more than 30 minutes, I don’t wear a binder. I am susceptible to heat exhaustion because of my medications so I have to be really careful. Not to mention, I get hot as fuck SO easily…and it puts me in SUCH a bad mood, that if someone even so much as rubbed me the wrong way, I would probably snap their neck off. You have no idea how many physical fights I have gotten into simply because it was too hot out and I had been in the sun too long. Fucking hell, I mean, …with what global warming (cough humans cough) is doing to this planet, I would not even be surprised if wearing a binder could KILL YOU in this heat. I mean, in case you missed it, things are literally MELTING in Arizona. Like. Fuck, dude. ._. Idk about you, but, being psychologically tortured and uncomfortable is better than dying of heat stroke or heat exhaustion or yknow…being literally cooked alive from the inside out. So no I don’t really wear binders during the summer. Or hot months in general.

I don’t always wear a binder when it’s comfortable out, either. I have to outwardly portray as female around my family so I don’t get beaten or yelled at or locked up. I also outwardly portray as female when I’m at home in the south. Basically because I’m scared of getting raped or shot or burned alive or whatever. I have had cis men shout at me that they want to “rape the girl back into me” and I have had a gun pointed to my head over my expressing myself as male outwardly. So…I mean…I’m just…scared, tbh. And since I’m in MA SURROUNDED BY FAMILY (aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins, third cousins, …I mean…holy wow, practically my whole damn family is up here so I’m constantly in the presence of everyone AND their friends) I just don’t bother binding. However…I have fairly small breasts and I always wear a bra that tucks them close to my chest in a comfortable way (not always a sports bra). So when I put on my clothes over that…it really only looks like I have little raises on my chest. You can barely tell at all. I mean, yes, you can tell…but it covers it pretty nicely. Helps that my breasts are really small.

But…I do think that I’m gonna start binding when I go to family things now. Coz after talking to one of my second cousins, I have found out that our family is pretty open to the LGBTQIA+ population…as we have QUITE A FEW lesbians and gays in our family. I think I’m the only transgender one, though. But some…a lot…of my family knows what transgender is (surprisingly, even a lot of my older 40-50+ aged family memebers know transgender things)…and I came out to a lot of people I felt it was safe to come out to so far…so I mean…I feel like when my mom introduces me as my birth name, I am going to start stepping up and saying “Please. Call me Riley. I am transgender and I don’t go by that name anymore.” Because I’m finding out that…the north is a LOT more accepting of us than the south is. Like…I don’t feel like I’m gonna get raped or murdered here if I go out of the house with my chest bound and portrayed as outwardly male. So I’m gonna start doing that…coz, I mean… I’m going to be getting on hormones anyways so my family will find out EVENTUALLY ANYWAYS. WHY NOT NOW. UGH.

Fuck. Tangent…sorry, mate. Lol.

But ANYWAYS…to answer your questions:No, I don’t know any cooler options to a binder. If any of my followers know, PLEASE shoot me an ask to publish or respond to this ask in the thread.No, I don’t wear a binder in the summer.

And, yes, I’m completely downplaying how utterly PHYSICALLY ILL it makes me feel to go outside outwardly portraying as female…but I will be damned if I end up passing out in the middle of Boston because I couldn’t handle taking my binder off. I do NOT want to die…and that would be an EXTREMELY painful way to die. And YES the dysphoria it causes makes me FEEL like I’m dying, but…fuck it. I can’t handle heat, man…the way the binders squeeze me makes the heat thing even more unbearable. And binders+heat=panic attacks for me. Coz I feel like I can’t breathe.

So…man…the only thing I can advise is invest in some bras that push your breasts down. Sports bras are a good way to start…but I found some that are a lot softer than that, push without it FEELING like it’s pushing, and gently cup your boobs on the inside with super soft breatheable material. And most of it is netted material…so it’s nice and breatheable. I think I got them at Target? Maybe Wal-Mart. Fuck, I can’t remember.

But I SERIOUSLY recommend getting a binder from these GC2B people. I forget if that’s the right name of the company…I will edit this when I can google it. Sorry. I’m on mobile. BUT ANYWAYS dude lemme fuckin tell you about these badass binders okay. 😎 Like holy fuck where do I start. They’re fashionable, they’re breatheable, they fit like a glove when you get the right size (and omg they have AMAZING staff and customer support that will help you return yours if it’s not the right size and exchange it for another size), they don’t squeeze you to death, they’re made of REALLY nice material, they don’t pull on your shoulders, they come in a variety of colours and skin tones and different models, they’re extremely durable…and they do the job they’re designed to do. And they do it DAMN WELL. When I put mine on, you can’t tell I have boobs at all. It chisels my chest into nice pecs. Like…I could not ask for a better binder. They’re not super expensive either. I mean…yeah, they cost a good bit, but they’re not “expensive”. They cost a COMPLETELY fair amount. And I PROMISE YOU they will help you find your right size no matter how many times you have to exchange sizes. And yes they have a measuring chart…like every FTM shop should!

But anyways I’m going on another tangent.

I’m really sorry I couldn’t answer your questions…Sometimes I wear baggy tops to cover my chest when I’m feeling more dysphoric than usual. And I feel dysphoric every time I don’t bind my chest. So summer fucking sucks. Stay indoors…lol. That’s the best advice…if you do things indoors, a binder shouldn’t be a problem. A/C is a fucking miracle, tbh. 😧

If anyone has any answers or personal experience to share for this lovely person, PLEASE hit up my inbox so I can publish it…or reply to this thread so nons can keep track of it. 🙂

Ily nonny! I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I know that feel all too well… I really hope you find a solution that helps with the awful dysphoria. :/ And if you DO figure out something on your own…PLEASE come back and let me know. I would love to be able to comfortably bind during the summer without being cooked alive by the sun. Lol.