#the northwoods are p fucked

[paran0rmality]

Northwoods Gothic from my other blog(deleted)

If you hear rain on a long drive through the tree filled slopes, it’s not rain. Turn your radio up louder. Pretend not to hear. 

Not everything with antlers is a deer, and not all of them are patient.

If you see something weird. and the roads are clear, keep driving. You’re not meant to stop and stare.

If it doesn’t look right, stop looking, It wasn’t ready to be seen.

 If  you stop seeing someone around town and no one’s mentioned it, don’t ask about it.

If you see a stray dog, don’t go near it. Ask where it’s owner is. If it looks in a given direction, tell it to go home, it should. If it keeps staring at you or it’s tail stops wagging, leave. Immediately. That’s not a dog, and if it is it knows where home is and will find its way back. It’s probably not safe to get any closer.

The wolves are not your biggest threat in the woods. Remember to wear bright colors, regardless of time of year. If you hear screams, they’re most likely not from a person, get in your car and leave, if you don’t, you have a good chance of being attacked.

The locals may seem nice, but they’re weary behind closed doors. We don’t get outsiders. They don’t trust you, no matter how long you plan on living here.

Don’t try to befriend your neighbor by showing up at their house uninvited. At best, you’ll see the barrel of a rifle. 

Respect the woods and its inhabitants. Those who don’t are more likely to go missing and not return.

When buying an old, cheap house, always check for mold, asbestos and lead paint before buying, or at the least in the beginning of renovations. 

Always keep something you value(not money or traditional valuables) in your car or on your person. Something you hold dear, you never know when you may wind up in the woods. Something is better than nothing when it comes to an offering for whatever lurks in the seemingly never ending forests.

The state is 48% forest land. If you go north, you will end up in them involuntarily at least once. Be careful..

Remember, if you were not born here, those living around you will always be hesitant. The smaller towns are not a good choice, even if the houses are cheaper. Choose something with a population of 3,000 or higher, it’s safer for you there.

The sirens you hear in the middle of the night are most likely not to warn you about tornados. Wait for 30 seconds. Stay quiet, remember, if it dips, you’re fine. It’s probably just a fire.  If it doesn’t, get in the basement and pray it’s just more downbursts. The houses here aren’t made for tornados, and you don’t want to imagine what horrors one would bring.

Don’t ask about the babbling that comes from the loudspeakers scattered on telephone poles throughout town. No one will answer. No one knows, it’s best to ignore what they’re saying.

When your friend asks you if you want to come to their cabin in the summer, go. Have fun. However, if it’s during spring or fall, be weary. If it’s in winter, politely decline. 

If it’s not a handgun, it’s not for self defense. Don’t anger whoever’s behind it, hunters know how to hit their target.

Don’t try to make plans during deer or bear season, you will be roped into helping gut an animal.

Reminder, there are around 400 Elk, and 30 Moose up here and they will kill you should you bother them. They are much, much bigger than deer, and much less tolerant.

Do not go onto a property you don’t own or don’t know the owner of unless it’s necessary for your survival. Curiosity will kill the cat.

If the frost on your window looks like it’s starting to spell something, scrape it away or hide it. Frost can’t write.

Backroads should be plowed, and the snow should mostly be gone, but remain wary of other road hazards.

Be v e r y careful when getting out of your car to see if the ‘animal you hit is dead’. When in doubt, unfortunately the (generally speaking) best option is to call the non-emergency line for the police, or emergency line if it's an emergency. Know the numbers for the area you’re traveling.

Sand on roads can be slidey, don’t drive like a jackass, not everyone will care if you end up in a ditch from your own stupidity.

If you’re not sure how deep the mud is, test it. Don’t just assume.

The lights over the lake are usually just DNR drones, ignore them.

The weird orange lights in town are usually just from the football field parking lot. Ignore them as well.

It may be sunny, and the lakes may be mostly clear of ice, but don’t go swimming just yet. Just, don’t.

Be wary of swimming in lakes May-July. If the signs say don't swim, don’t swim. No one will pity you when you’re itching for weeks because you didn’t listen.

Hitchhiking is legal, yes, but up north it is NOT recommended. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you will live to do it again.

Don’t pick up hitchhikers, animal or otherwise.

There are fates worse than death.

Do not assume people are home.

Do not assume people are not home.

Always lock your doors and windows, armed or not. Chances are, you’re not the only one with a gun.

If you can help it, don’t over share with those you don’t know. Openness is not always a trait people trust.

Remember, human eyes don’t reflect light like animal eyes do. They don’t have the reflective layer that some animals have. If they’re glowing yellow/orange/green/etc, that’s almost guaranteed not a human.

Be careful what you say and who you insult. As with anywhere, there are  bad people with good connections. 

It’s not cleaned as often as they say, stop at a kwik trip or wait until you’re home.

If you’re thinking about touching it, there’s a good chance at least a dozen other people have.

If the air smells bad, stay inside. Excess exposure can and has caused problems.

[compte-jaques]

The vampires of Wisconsin are quite peculiar

So are the other things that can't be named

Winter causes them all to act up

It's almost like some sort of curse

The creatures crawl out of their holes

To pray on newcomers

Well the ones with an ounce of humanity

The others won't hesitate to eat anybody

Even the locals

Well could be debated they're are

Certain locals in the small towns

That won't be touched

Since we're all the same

If you hear/see something strange keep moving never stop act like you didn't notice it and when they're in your house

Leave them alone and continue whatever your doing

Most of the times if you bother them they'll just give you a warning but sometimes people go missing without a trace

NEVER ASK ABOUT THESE THINGS OR THE STRANGE OCCURRENCES DURING FALL,WINTER,AND SPRING AT NIGHT. YOU NEVER SHOULD UNLESS YOUR A LOCAL BUT HONESTLY YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW NOT TO BAT AN EYE WHEN THEY TAKE YOUR FRIENDS.....

[cryhounds]

Bro leak your skin care routine and products

oh boy uhhhh ok so. i was gonna say my skincare routine is p minimal which is a fucking lie but it is pretty fast + easy. everything i use is under $20 and most of it is fragrance free as well. i have dry & acne prone skin but tbh this should work for most ppl. also ill say this i havent gotten my hands on a good sunscreen yet but PLEASE wear sunscreen im just v picky cause it breaks me out.

for cleanser i use the herbivore pink clay bar soap which is $12 and lasts me anywhere from 3-4 months (comparable to most drugstore cleansers!!!). they have 2 other facial bar soaps depending on ur skin type and i think theyre all kinda awesome and its nice that theyre almost completely waste free. i wouldnt recommend literally any other herbivore product but i like pink clay cleansers and this one is v good

i also use an acid toner/chemical exfoliant, ive used the silk naturals lactic acid toner which is i thiiink $12 and lasts me about 4months as well which is good if youre new to chemical exfoliation or if youre sensitive but lately ive been using the pixi glow tonic ($15 for a comparable size) which has glycolic acid instead and i honestly like it more (bc its stronger) but it also has fragrance which is :// not ideal

for moisturizer i use the ordinary's nmf + ha moisturizer which is like $7 for 100ml. this is a really great thick moisturizer, if youre oily you might find it too thick or greasy feeling but also moisturizer is good for you. i dont like using this in the winter tho bc northwoods winters are dry as hell and the hyaluronic acid in the moisturizer actually will dehydrate you if the climate is too dry but i havent found anything under my budget that doesnt have HA :( in the summer i also use the ordinary's marine hyaluronics serum which i dont remember the price of but its under $10 and will last me about a year. AND the ordinary also has a 100% argan oil for $7 that i use on my hair and face which is a crazy good price for a very very good hair/face oil and id highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good hair/face oil. i do go through about 1 bottle every 2-3 months tho esp in the winter.

a few notes: you will want to use exfoliating products or toners FIRST, preferably right after you cleanse, because they wont do anything over moisturizers. also, only use chemical exfoliants every 2-4 days depending on how sensitive your skin is, and remember that your skin will be more sun sensitive when you use one. id use serums next, then moisturizer, then an oil if you want to use one, then spf. also when you wear spf you will want to cleanse your skin at the end of the day, because it's designed to sit on top of your skin rather than soak in, so if you just leave it there it will break you out. stay away from products that use essential oils as active ingredients, and remember that as fragrances theyre no safer than their synthetic friends. try to stay away from physical exfoliants, there is a way to do it properly but it's finicky, and dont ever use salt or sugar scrubs on your face.

and remember you dont HAVE to do anything to your face, a good spf, cleanser, and moisturizer really will cover all your bases.

[cturnerartandcreative]

Finished watching Californication for the I don’t know how many’th time again. This show slays me - both in that it it’s lol funny, and in that it cuts me to the core emotionally with it’s all to relatable and honest portrayal of love and relationships in these modern times. Fucked up individuals, scarred by unrevealed trauma just trying to make it work. In the past the ebb and flow of Hank and Karens relationship gave me a sense of hope that love can make it through all the bullshit that life throws your way (even if self imposed)- right now that optimism seems like a faint glimmer, but the show is great none the less- go watch it muuuuthafucka’s #illustration #fanart #digitalillustration #digitalart #drawing #typography #californication (at Northwood Lake) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaAjEH_uR40/?utm_medium=tumblr

[aledjames918]

Who's going to tell you off?⁣ ⁣ Where is that kick in the ass going to come from when you fuck up? ⁣ ⁣ Who's going celebrate your wins with you? ⁣ ⁣ Who's going to be there to tell you to keep hammering on? ⁣ ⁣ You know as well as me how important accountability is. ⁣ ⁣ Honestly you wouldn't have gone to registration as a kid if your form teacher didn't mark you in. ⁣ ⁣ See how powerful that is? ⁣ ⁣ Your form teacher is a person making sure you're present so that you get good grades. ⁣ ⁣ Get yourself a fitness one of these. ⁣ ⁣ 🦂 Create a fitness specific WhatsApp group with all your mates and encourage and challenge eachother ⁣ ⁣ 🦂 Post your gym selfies to check in with Instagram ⁣ ⁣ 🦂 Hire a coach who's job is to not only keep you accountable but to overlook everything you need to with your fitness ⁣ ⁣ 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥. ⁣ ⁣ I'm being held accountable to my Facebook community right now over the next 14 days to drop fat (ate way too much on holiday). ⁣ ⁣ If you're wanting to join the journey with me and find out exactly how to drop fat in the next 14 days drop me a silly looking emoji and ill let ya in ☃️ (at Northwood Hills) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIl5Dp7BE6C/?igshid=kspe8qkz0vdy

[bmorrone3]

“Something will grow from all you’re going through, and it will be you.” • Training is getting heavy and I’m getting excited 🤩 The first time I ever back squatted 240 lbs for 3 reps I remembered thinking wow, I AM strong. Today I did FOUR sets of 3 reps at that weight! I tend to shy away from lifts I’m good at. That sounds crazy...why would I not want to do something I’m good at?! Because those lifts are fucking heavy! And when things are heavy they’re more mentally challenging than anything else 🤯 Learning to train my mind as hard as my body ✨ (last rep of each set shown) • #Strong #BackSquat #Squat #Heavy #Mentality #Believe #This #Here #RoadTo300 #ConstantlyVaried #Fitness #FitFam #FitnessMotivation #Motivation #Fit #FitGirl #Fitspo #FitnessQuotes #CrossFit #CrossFitter #CrossFitGirls #Workout #WorkoutMotivation #Exercise #Healthy #Lifestyle #HealthyLifestyle #Cardio #Weightlifting #Gymnastics (at Operation X: Crossfit Northwood) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpVlWAGHoml/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=oueskdipgyoz