#the nerd life

[jonnywaistcoat]

I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.

Some of my favourites include:

Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)

Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?

Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?

Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!

Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?

The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.

So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:

Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[dustylittlethings]

Writing an essay for uni and so very randomly I just quoted Pavlov. I feel like a Nerd. ✨❤️

[itzmellooo]

Lumity week day 7: Free day!!

SAVE ME PIRATE X MERMAID AU SAVE ME

[paintedcrows]

Holiday Classics

Been thinking about Ford watching the 70s Animated Lord of the Rings Movies... (companion comic to this post!)

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

[thehauntedmarionnette]

He is fighting a war. Just got his arms back. Has been fighting for his life so intensely that even we as the audience are unaware of the passage of time. And still has time to fanboy.

[ooliecat]

mr squarepants, in the flesh.

[aponii1]

Books and cats.

[cursedcola]

Yuu: “It’s time I told you guys about my lore” *whips out powerpoint*

Riddle:….lore?

Azul: Oh - so you’re a gamer.

Idia: Oh - so you’re traumatized

[boomposhpow]

WEIRD SCIENCE!!! what ford was doing for 6 years before he met bill in gravity falls fascinates me like what was he up to!!!!! alex hirsch make journal 1 and 2 right now!!!!! i want more anomalies!!!!!

[risibledeer]

happy christmas or merry holidays <3

i threw symbolism on this thing like glitter on a school diorama.

[montereybayaquarium]

The four stages of becoming a birder:

🪹Nestling Phase: You start with a casual interest, peeking out of your cozy comfort zone to notice the birds around you.

🐤Fledgling Feats: You spread your wings, equipped with binoculars and guidebooks, ready to explore new habitats and spot diverse species.

🐦‍⬛Perching Proficiency: Your skills sharpen as you learn to identify birds by their calls, habits, and plumage, and feel a sense of accomplishment with each new sighting.

🦅Masterful Migration: Finally, you soar confidently, traversing landscapes near and far, sharing your passion with others. In the end, the true joy of birding lies in the journey itself—every chirp, flutter, and waddle along the way.

Happy National Go Birding Day!

[adventuringartist]

“oh gale talks too much” “oh gales pedantic” YOU FOOLS. Are you so weak you cannot appreciate a true yapper? Do you not know the love and joy of listening to someone close to you infodump on their favorite topics? have you never felt the inherit trust that comes with someone sharing their interests to you? Pathetic. You will not survive the winter.

[xyymath]

Things Math Professors Say

"The proof is trivial." (Oh, cool. Guess I’m just an idiot then.)

"Left as an exercise." (Translation: You’ll never solve this in a million years.)

"It’s obvious, really." (Sure, if you’re a demigod.)

"By inspection." (Stares harder at problem… still nothing.)

"For small values of epsilon." (How small? Subatomic? Microscopic? Vibes?)

"WLOG (Without Loss of Generality)." (Oh, we’re just assuming it doesn’t matter now? Alright.)

"Details omitted." (Because apparently, you don’t need to understand it.)

"By the usual argument." (Which you somehow don’t know because you weren’t born in 1702.)

"Assume the rest holds." (That’s some impressive optimism right there.)

"The usual abuse of notation." (Why does this feel like an emotional wound?)

"Almost surely correct." (But also possibly wrong? Cool, thanks for the clarity.)

"A non-rigorous approach." (I thought math was supposed to be precise?!)

"Assume it’s obvious." (Buddy, NOTHING about this is obvious.)

"The reader may verify." (No, the reader may CRY.)

"To the interested reader." (Guess I’m not interested enough, huh?)

"Well-behaved functions only." (We’re function-shaming now?)

"Obvious to the trained eye." (Guess I’ll never make it out of amateur league.)

"A trivial case analysis." (Trivial to WHO??)

"Integrate by parts, twice." (Bold of you to assume I got it the first time.)

"As you can clearly see." (Oh, I clearly see my FAILURE, alright.)

"It works in practice too." (Unlike me, who barely works at all.)

"Assume a spherical cow." (Are we doing math or abstract sculpture?)

"A standard result." (Not in my standards, pal.)

"We skip the tedious algebra." (No, no, please—I wanted to suffer MORE.)

"Assume non-zero solutions exist." (Okay, now we’re just assuming life works out.)

"The usual topology." (Bro, I don’t even know the unusual topology.)

"Finitely many cases left." (Just kidding, there’s 72.)

"By virtue of symmetry." (Virtue? I have none left.)

"Don’t worry about the constant." (The constant is probably my GPA dropping.)

"Assume continuity." (I’m assuming my brain is breaking.)

"Smooth functions only." (Guess I’ll leave, I’m clearly not smooth enough.)

"The simplest non-trivial case." (Simplest? NON-TRIVIAL? Pick a side!)

"Epsilon goes to zero." (Epsilon isn’t the only one losing it.)

"And the rest follows." (Where? Straight to my breakdown?)

[ghouljams]

no thoughts just simon roughly undoing your corset at the end of the night. idk how he'd be there without it being seen as improper or whatever or maybe hes your husband but i feel like it'd send me into subspace so quick.. kinda similar to shibari? idk.

The times when he's rough with your stays are few and far between, mostly he unlaces the (newly) double stranded thing with blunt nails that slip against the laces. His own knots so carefully tied keeping you held tight in what may as well be his embrace. His signature is already neatly embroidered on your modesty panel, his words neatly penned in bleeding ink professing all the places his lips would touch. Scandalous delivered before he ever made it to your marriage bed, you might add.

Oh no, Simon is very... deliberate with your stays. Possessive, even. His knot is one you can't undo, one that even he sometimes resorts to pulling between his teeth. It's a security you can't go against, a lock whose only key is held by Simon. He won't even let your maid touch your laces. You sit for him and arch into his touch as he threads one line, then another, and another. His fingers skim your chemise, his breath just barely even. You hang your head to feel his teeth graze the top knob of your spine as he pulls you tight, and takes the first swell of your breath between his fingers.

It's a beautiful thing. A second spine borrowed from your husband's hand. How each crossed thread holds its own knot at the center, how each lace ladders itself to climb up the looping of Simon's signature, his name just barely visible under the knots and laces. No, he doesn't tear at your stays. Swear at them maybe. Tell you he won't tie them so tight next time, a lie. But never tear.

Cut? Well, now that's another thing entirely. And you'd be lying if you said the press of his blade along your spine, slowly carving out your trapped breath, didn't make you squeeze your legs around the hand he'd already buried between them.