#the most recurring theme of my art is back <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sabeedraws]

“You shouldn’t have done that.” „Well, they had it coming.“

Lurline help those who make fun of Glinda's roommate...!

Redraw of an old Gelphie drawing

[asnowperson]

An essay on the theme of children-parent relationships in Hagio Moto's works by Murakami Tomohiko

For years, I avoided reading the essays that were included at the end of bunkoban volumes. Reading Japanese prose felt like a chore to me, to be honest. A too high of a hurdle. And most of the time, the contents went over my head.

That being said, since I started reading them, I've come across some pretty interesting ones. The analysis written by Murakami Tomohiko, manga critic, at the end of Mesh's vol. 3 (Hakusensha Bunko, 1994) was particularly interesting for me. So, I tried my hand at translating butchering it. The author compares the boys in Hagio's manga and their family issues. You can find it below the cut.

If anyone wants to read the original, I can send pics/scans!

Province of children 

Murakami Tomohiko  (Manga critic) 

For a child, what does it feel like to be neglected by their parents? 

Mesh is the protagonist of this story. His mother, elopes with a man when he was young. His father, doubting whether he’s Mesh’s real father or not, drives him away from himself, and places him in a boarding school in the faraway Switzerland. For 12 years of his life, he believes that his mother abandoned him, and his father hates him. It’s not hard to imagine how deep the scars such feelings left in Mesh’s heart are.  

Mesh’s mother gave him a girl’s name, “Françoise-Marie.” We do not know if she wanted to have a daughter that bad, but as Mesh was separated from his mother when he was 2, he never knew the truth. But how much of a deciding factor that name became for him, and how it kept bearing heavy on him in his later years, are beyond any doubt.

When Mesh was 12, silver locks started to appear on both sides of his blond hair. After seeing a proof of genetics at work, his father finally recognized him as his own son. But that wasn’t the salvation the he was looking for. When his father shifted the blame on Mesh’s mother’s licentious behavior  for doubting his paternity, a new wound was opened on the young boy's heart.  

“I won’t say that my mother was a saint. But for a child who lives in a dormitory... a mother something that he needs.” 

Thus, in chapter 1, "Mesh,” our protagonist runs away from his paternal home. He is picked up from the streets of Paris by Millon, a young art forger. In the final chapter, “Sure Love and  Real Death,” he is reunited with his mother, now living in her homeland of Lorraine. She is mentally instable and still running after the image of her "daughter" who never existed. Mesh is an abandoned child who hates his father so much that he wants to kill him, and who is struggling to break free from her mother’s chains. This manga chronicles his story of breaking free from his parents.  

Children discarded by their parents. Children separated from their parents. Such children fumbling their way in their quest to find their personal salvation had been recurring motif in Hagio Moto’s works before Mesh. It is also is the principal theme of this work.

If we look back, in "Bianca (ビアンカ)," she drew a girl who danced away the stress the divorce of her parents caused in a forest. In “Girl on Porch with Puppy (ポーチで少女が小犬と),” she shows us another girl who sees the world through rose-colored glasses. Grown-ups who lost their dreams point their fingers at her, and shoot her with death rays. Or take Emil Bruckhardt from “Snow Child (雪の子).”  He was taken in by his grandfather after his parents’ death, who anly accepted for taking the child in if it was a "boy." 12 years of Emil's life was spent by his side, pretending to be a boy. Young Tim from “Poor Mama (かわいそうなママ)” pushes his mother out of the window. He could no longer bear witnessing her misery, as she spent her days sitting at the window sill, gazing off in the distance, and sighing. The free-spirited and brave Eru of the Nobe family in “Red-haired Cousin (赤ッ毛のいとこ)" shows no sign that would make you think that she is an orphan.  

They were all children torn apart from their parents.They had to find somewhere to belong, and find it themselves.  

The Poe Clan has two boys who were taken away from their biological human parents and turned into vampires, destined to live until eternity. If we think about under the same light, we can say it's their story of trying their hardest to create a pseudo-family for themselves time and time again on their endless journey. The beautiful Poe instalment, "Birds’ Nest (小鳥の巣)," and works like "Heart of Thoma (トーマの心臓)" that followed it, all take place in worlds that have nothing but boys torn apart from their families. It is no coincidence that dormitories were chosen as their settings.  

Mesh was published in Shogakukan’s Petit Flower magazine between the 1980 summer issue and 1984 June issue. Mesh was preceded by "The Visitor (訪問者)" in the 1980 Spring issue.  

In "The Visitor," we follow a central character from "The Heart of Thomas," Oskar Reiser, during his childhood, before he starts to live at the dormitory. Its main theme is directly connected to that of Mesh. Young Oskar’s parents quarrel over his birth. One day, a single gunshot steals that little boy’s mother from him forever. The one who fired the shot was his father. The boy covers up for his father, and the two set out on journey with no destination. However, Oskar’s father leaves him at the school, of which the principal is an old friend of his and Oskar's real father, and leaves for Southern America alone.  

Oskar kept yearning for his father, the father who stole his mother away from him, without begrudging him. He did so, because he had nothing else in life to cling onto. As his father and mother argued about his paternity, the child lost that household as the place he belonged. Young Oskar’s only wish was to be forgiven by his parents, and to believe that he would be acknowledged as the son of that family. To make his wish come true, to beg for his father’s forgiveness, Oskar covers up for his father, the murderer of his mother, and sticks even closer to him.

Our protagonist Mesh is a direct continuation of the image of boyhood we see in  "The Visitor"s Oskar Reiser. This link continues until Hagio’s current serialization, "A Cruel God Reigns", and shapes the main plot of her stories. “Children abandoned by their parents” has been present as a principal theme since Hagio Moto's early works. The turning point which made this theme even deeper, might be just this period that connects "The Visitor" to "Mesh."

How did Mesh rationalize his mother giving him a girl’s name? He mostly introduces himself using his alias, “Mesh,” to new acquaintances, and he is very adamant about it. Those who are unaware of the circumstances are left perplexed by that name, and mistake Mesh for a girl. He seems to find that amusing deep down. He crossdresses and appears on stage, and he is approached by homosexual men. Both makes him feel uncomfortable. Yet, he doesn’t seem to have a the willpower to resist.

Actually, I have also experienced something similar. So I believe I understand how Mesh feels a little.  

When I was roughly Mesh’s age, I was a child who liked to act like a girl. In high school, I put a tablecloth on my desk in class, made flower arrangements with artificial flowers in an empty wine bottle instead of a proper vase, and listened to lectures while holding a stuffed doll. Mine was quite a free-minded school, and it was an age when all kinds of rebellious acts were "in." But still, when I think back upon it, what I did seems outrageous to me. Maybe I was just too eccentric, which is why my teachers never said anything to me.  

I was jealous of my mother’s colorful outfits. I often borrowed and wore them. Her sleek green trench coat and tank top with pink and white borders from Kamoi Youko’s underwear brand, Tunic, were my favorites. I once even made a dress for myself. I chose the fabric with my girlfriend, did the basting at her place, and she sewed it for me. She tagged along because she found it to be fun, but I’m certain that she was weirded out.  

I am still a sucker for stationary and fancy items girls would like. If I go to Sony Plaza or American Pharmacy, I am confident that I can spend half a day there. There aren’t many fathers who would go to buy picture books and plushies for their kid, but get carried out and just buy whatever they want. 

Putting it like that makes me sound like a man with perverse hobbies, but sadly, I am not such inclined. I have never felt attracted to men, and never have I ever wanted to be a woman. My interest in crossdressing had something different in it. But I am interested in feminine, rather, “girlish” things, but it only means that I am slightly different than your average, common man.  

That being said, my mother’s influence on me cannot be ignored. When I finished my dress, it was her who was the happiest and told me to wear it and take a little tour outside. During my freshman year in university, she was the one who lamented the most when I cut my hair that was reaching my butt, and made a hairpiece with my hair for me. When I was in grade school, I once trimmed my eyelashes with a pair of scissors because they were getting in the way when I was using the microscope. I remember her being frustrated to the point of bursting into tears, and getting so angry with me.  

I believe it was my mother who slowly created my very particular aesthetic sense by praising things like long eyelashes, lustrous, straight hair, a slender physique which becomes female school uniforms. All things that would be the charm points of budding young girls, and she did it at every chance. I am an only child, and have no siblings. When I was a child, my mother once asked me if I wanted to have little brothers or sisters. I told her that I would like to have an older brother, which seemed to perplex her. Maybe my mother wanted to have a daughter. She could be looking for the shadow of the daughter she never had in me.  

I don’t really know the truth of it. Maybe she just said that I looked like a girl just to express how cute her son was, without putting much thought into it. But the words she said, words I have no recollection of, very likely had a huge impact on me and awakened something deep inside my soul. My personal preferences took shape around that idea, and before I knew it, it seeped into my entire being.  

My mother was a beautician, and was often away from home on business. After she opened her own store, she was always busy with work. But that was all there was to it, and it was not like she had left me, or we were separated by death.  And it never became a reason for my parents to hurt or to oppress me. I can say that overall, I grew up in a your rather ordinary, warm household. I still started to shape my very own personality, alongside the one my parents took part in creating. Then how about a child who feels hated, or abandoned by his parents? How would he feel? To heal the wounds he got from his parents and to ail himself, would he acknowledge it all, and accept everything? Or would complete denial be his only choice? 

That's why Mesh wanted to kill his father and break free from his mother’s curse. While he wanted to be freed from his mother’s desire to have a daughter, in some corner of his mind, he was curious about what would happen if he complied. Maybe that’s what made him stand on the stage as a woman, and occasionally enjoy being photographed as one. Maybe that’s why he sometimes shut up and endured it when men treated him like a girl.  

Maybe fulfilling his mother’s wish meant securing a place in her heart for him. It might have been a self-defense mechanism — a feeling that only children abandoned by their parents know. That’s why when he faced her, and saw that his mentally ailing mother would never accept him, a boy, Mesh said: “Just what does Marché want? How can I get close to what she wants? What should I become? Marché’s dreams, and my dreams... If only I knew...” 

“A thousand pairs of scissors. Scissors that cut and mince. I could have become a flower, a bird, a daughter... I could have become anything you wanted. I could have died a thousand deaths if you wished for it.” 

We do not know the reasons why she wanted to have a daughter. No matter what they might be, accepting them as they are, that complete subordination, is an expression of his willingness to bend to his mother's will. What does it feel like to hear “I hate this child” from a mother who can’t even tell his son apart? But Mesh even accepts his mother trying to stab him with shears without saying a single word.  

Where does Mesh’s determination, which is almost commendable, come from? What steeled his resolve so? I think it was something closer to despair, rather than a wish to be delivered. Mesh’s hatred and his murderous thoughts towards his father are the two sides of the same coin. Killing his father, who hated both him and his mother, and accepting death by the hands of the mother who forgot her own son: They are actually one and the same. Thus, the child abandoned by his parents try to erase his ties to them. By resetting everything, he tries to make it as if he never existed.  

There is probably just one thing he’s trying to say with his behavior.  

"I’m sorry.  

"I couldn’t be the child you wanted.  

"I couldn’t meet your expectations.  

"I’m sorry that I was born..." 

In “The Visitor”, in the middle of his endless journey with his father, Oskar says these words time and time again: "I will be a good child. I won’t talk about my mom anymore. I’m sorry." Then he obliges his father by starting to live in a dormitory, and waits for his father to be back from South America. This must have been no different than choosing death for Oskar, a child who wanted to be the son of a warm household. 

When he doesn’t resist his mother’s attempt to kill him, something inside of Mesh shattered to pieces. He arrives at Paris train station with his broken hopes as his baggage, and he catches a glimpse of his father boarding a train. His father, who acknowledged him as “his son who shares the same blood as him” without so much as a thought about how that made Mesh feel. All Mesh can do is to stand there, motionless. Even if that's the only place he can come back to now.

All children need a place they belong. A place where they feel they can just “be.” Children do not belong to their parents, or other adults. No one shall undermine their right to self-determination. Mesh shows us how much hardship children have to endure, and the sacrifices they have to make when grown-ups forget this fact.   

[savingsallow]

— (5) Sad Facts About Val

Things about my MC— Valentine Black —that make me question why I let my child suffer.

content warning: contains themes of trauma, grief, mention of loss of loved ones, nightmares, mental health struggles, isolation and emotional distress. please proceed with caution.

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1.) Recurring Nightmares

Val enjoyed a happy and healthy relationship with her parents despite their identities as dark wizards. The first four years of her life were filled with laughter and joy. In fact, many of her fondest memories are vivid, tracing back to her early childhood.

But that joy was short-lived.

Tragically, Val witnessed her parents' deaths while hiding in a cabinet, peering through a small hole. This traumatic event became one of her most haunting recurring nightmares, alongside the vivid memory of her best friend's lifeless body from her time at the Muggle boarding school.

These nightmares drive Val to avoid sleep whenever possible; short naps are the worst, bringing her the most haunting visions of her past. At night, she bravely travels into her dreams, seeking patterns and lessons, yet she always awakens in terror. To distract herself, she immerses herself in her projects and ideas.

Though her erratic sleep schedule takes a toll on her health, it has unexpectedly allowed her to excel in her studies—particularly in her favorite subjects like potions. She even created a potion fitting for her situation called the "Vitality Veil." As the name suggests, it restores natural vigor and creates a subtle aura of vitality that enhances one’s appearance and can last up to 12 hours.

Essentially, it’s a potion that makes Val seem put together, while in truth, she feels like a chaotic mess.

2.) Stealth Mastery

After being reluctantly adopted by her uncle, Val realized her freedom had limits. She has always resisted authority, never one to follow rules blindly. By day, she mastered the art of compliance, driven by a desperate need for her new family's approval; by night, however, she let herself roam free.

Val knows all the creaky floorboards to avoid, as well as the hidden passages where she can escape. She scours the house for a safe haven to dive into her latest obsession—be it a book about the universe or potion experiments.

House-elves often assisted her in sneaking around unnoticed. The house-elves of the House of Black, including Kreacher and Scrope, became her friends. Sometimes they'd play wizard’s chess together or cook meals for her as she immersed herself in her books and potions.

3.) Isolation

Val has never felt a true sense of belonging. Growing up in London, her extended family made it clear—especially during family gatherings—that she was a burden. Desperate for their affection, she felt the need to don a deranged mask, something she hated but believed was necessary for survival.

Feeling like an outsider in her family was compounded by her alienation in the Muggle world, where her peers considered her an oddball. This constant rejection cultivated a friendship with solitude. It spurred her obsession with researching topics of interest and experimenting with potions in her own unique way.

The closest companions she had were the house-elves, her stuffed animals (which Aunt Ursula eventually disposed of), and her best friend from the Muggle boarding school—who tragically passed away too soon. In the depths of isolation, Val found a friend in solitude, and beneath her facade of preoccupations lies a profound sense of loneliness.

4.) Silent Cries

Though Val has grown more comfortable expressing her emotions, especially at Hogwarts, she struggles to cry in public. It’s not that she doesn’t want to; it’s that she can’t bring herself to do so. Raised in an environment that viewed emotions as weaknesses, she grappled with her naturally expressive nature.

Her Aunt Ursula would lock her in her room for showing strong feelings, teaching Val to control her emotions too well—so well, in fact, that she finds it difficult to cry, even when the urge washes over her. Instead, she has learned to cry silently, in the quiet of night when no one can see.

Even after making friends in her fifth year and gradually opening up to them, Val has never shed tears in their presence.

One of the few times Val almost cried in front of her friends was when she witnessed Sebastian spiraling down a darker path in a misguided attempt to "save his sister," all while seeing Ominis worry for him as he used Unforgivable curses, a path he had vowed to abandon.

Conflicted and terrified, Val struggled to think of the next right steps to take to help her friends, all while handling her growing yet destructive fire magic and Ancient Magic, both of which were becoming unstable due to her involvement with the Dark Arts, especially the Unforgivables.

5.) Layers

Having endured so much, Val has constructed walls around her heart, protecting whatever happiness remains.

At first glance, one might assume she leads a lighthearted and comfortable life; many perceive her as a spoiled brat from the House of Black, underestimating her bubbly personality.

But beneath this facade lies a heart marred by trauma. Though she may seem like an open book, with her genuine remarks and emotional transparency, don’t be deceived. Beneath that cheerful exterior lies a guarded, wounded soul.

Her trust issues run deep; as a child, she invented her own alphabet so no one could decipher her journal entries. Later, at Hogwarts, she enchanted her journal, rendering her words invisible to others—only her whimsical doodles visible to the untrained eye.

Once she begins to share her secrets—like her treasured niffler stuffed toy—freely divulges her quirky ideas, lets you hug her, and miraculously allows you to witness her tears, then you have truly earned her trust.

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🥞 thanks for reading this rather angsty facts! ❤️‍🔥

🥞 non native english speaker, so teeny tiny grammatical errors are very much possible XD

🥞 casually lore dropping bc why not

🥞 leaving here more links about val in case you're a newbie to her lore:

✨ 10 Facts About Val

✨ Val & Hairstyle

✨ Val's Character Introduction

[ra-scheln]

Writing Interview Tag Game

The lovely @kimberbohwrites tagged me – thank you so much!

When did you start writing?

I don’t remember a time before stories. Partially it might have been due to my environment, that I had to escape somehow – even if I could only retreat into my own mind and the worlds I could make up there. They weren’t really finished narratives, I was mostly into making up worlds that my friends would add characters to, and we would draw comics around the stories that developed from that .

Although that stopped when I was around fifteen or sixteen. The abuse at home kept escalating with my growing independence, and I couldn’t maintain the connection to myself necessary for true creativity and the willful ignorance regarding what was happening to me I had developed to protect myself. There is no writing or other piece of art from my time, because I just stopped being able to do it.

Stories I need to live, said ignorance I needed to survive, so it had to take precedence.

Ten years later or so, I’ve been reclaiming my own perception of events with, among other things, half a decade of therapy now. I can touch my own ideas again without them slipping through my hands.

BG3 is it’s own special joy here – it’s the first fandom I’ve really written for, recently, and that’s mostly thanks to the writer friends I’ve found through it (my pedipalps <3).

Are there different themes or genres that you enjoy reading than what you write?

Outside of fanfic, yes! I read a lot of classic stuff – Thomas Mann, Michail Bulgakow, Oscar Wilde are the last few authors I read in that department. Fiction-wise, I enjoy things that explore the more ambiguous sides of human emotion, or generally darker and more serious stuff – Das Parfüm by Patrick Süskind (The perfume) for example, although that’s something I also write about. I’d also count Accabadora by Michaela Murgia amongst that, though that’s also a historically inspired and socio-critical. Tbh I mostly read nonfiction though, Roberto Saviano’s works on the Ndragheta and other organised crime are currently back on my mind.

In fanfic, I’m pretty stuck in my tastes as far as themes go, but there are some characters that don’t inspire me to write, but that I like reading about – Rolan for example (though I might have something cooking for him), or Halsin.

Can you tell me about your writing space?

I often lug my laptop to the university library or onto my balcony, but I’ve also recently treated myself to new desk equipment – so I’ve started using it more, now that I have a second monitor, a nice mechanical keyboard and a chair that doesn’t kill my back.

One thing about my writing space though – it has to be spotless. I can’t deal with crumbs on my table or unfolded laundry lying around.

This all goes for writing itself. My ideas I mostly write down by hand in my notebook, wherever I am in that moment.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I don’t. I either have something to say and then I sit down and say it, or I don’t. Your mind also needs to lie fallow every now and then.

If the words aren’t flowing when the ideas themselves are there, it’s usually because something else is taking up my attention. Be it any kind of mess (as I said…) or something I’m avoiding in other areas of my life, that has to be taken care of first.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing?

Some are fairly common in fanfic – trauma, the aftermath of sexual abuse etc. I think some of my other patterns are characters that are neither good nor bad, the need to accept yourself and what you’ve done even if others may not forgive you, and love that is built, not found.

What is your reason for writing?

The words have to go somewhere, or I start to get restless.

In seriousness, I also think that stories are a chance to explore the things that often don’t have room in daily life. Especially fiction that doesn’t have to perform well, like fanfics, can leave the kind of room for the regular human messiness to breathe.

Is there any kind of specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I haven’t published a lot yet and I haven’t received that many comments yet; So it’s hard to say. But so far I can say that whenever I can feel that my writing touched someone and they take the time to share that with me it stays with me for a long time, and keeps me motivated to keep sharing my stuff.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I haven’t thought about that yet much, and the idea of someone developing a parasocial relationship makes me want to crawl out of my skin, but uh… I think I’d like my writing to feel safe to people? Not necessarily in the sense that they won’t encounter difficult themes and injustices in it, but that the darker themes I explore are handled in an informed and tasteful way.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think my compassion with my characters and their actions. Nuance, in general, seems to be my thing as well – I don’t do black and white.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I’m a bit frustrated that my fictional writing is all in English, currently. It’s neither my first nor my fourth language, and it’s not my favourite language to read in either.

Aside from that… I’m growing fond of my own style, now that I’ve found my voice, sort of. My sense of humour is starting to shine through, which is also nice!

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

So far, what I want to write and say takes precedence. I do, of course, think about the “how” of writing – how style and vocabulary can help me get my ideas across. Who knows, I could try taking requests, that might be fun.

Tagging: @dutifullylazybread @blackjackkent @invinciblerodent @faerielli and @lewdisescariot

EDIT: AND @forget-me-maybe!!! As well als @cactusmisslittle

[bby-namjoon]

OldFriend!Mafia!Taehyung: First Love

(AU: where Tae was your bestfriend in high school and one day he vanished, but you meet again 10 years later and he has some secrets to hide)

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4}:

———————————————————————

“I’m excited!”

“Why?” He laughed, turning onto his street.

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen your house yet and I just wanna see how you live! I think it’ll be nice to just see what you call home”

“Well, we’re here”

You turned your attention back out of the front windscreen and gasped, “this is your house? No way”

He’d turned through a pair of black steel gates before proceeding slowly up his driveway and stopping short of his large garage door. From first glance you could tell that his house was atleast twice the size of yours and far more modern. It’s high hedges made the lavish property feel safe and secluded, like this plot of land was its own sanctuary away from the outside world, but when you thought the exterior was beautiful, your jaw practically dropped as you stepped inside.

The first thing you noticed was the marble floors that stretched the entire expanse of the property, everything was large and beautifully designed, his love of art and music showing through the sculptures and paintings littered around the house, brightening up the neutral monochromatic themes that recurred throughout most of his rooms, just enough to add some character to them. Even his bathrooms were beautiful, both of them holding sleek granite sinks and chrome furnishings, the only thing differing between them was that one had a large roll top bath stood in the corner whilst the other had an enclosed glass shower. You continued to follow him around his home, watching as he pointed out the empty guest rooms and his office, telling you how most of his business gets taken care of at home and that his closest team often come over to work alongside him, coming and going throughout the week as needed.

The final room on the tour was his bedroom. As soon as you stepped inside you could smell his cologne, the last spray of it obviously still circulating around the room from where he’d gotten ready before your rooftop date earlier in the evening. He’d used his connections to set up a romantic sunset picnic for you both, where he used the slight breeze as an excuse to have you sit between his legs and hold you close as you fed eachother strawberries, feeling as though you were a million miles away from the bustling city of Seoul that continued it’s course beneath you.

If Taehyung knew how to do anything, he knew how to centre piece a room. Much like the grand piano in his living room, or the granite island in his kitchen, his king size bed sat proudly against the wall where it was boxed in by a bedside table on either side, it’s white sheets looking pristine and freshly made, making you have to resist the sudden urge to throw yourself onto it, burying yourself beneath his feather down duvet. He let you peek into his well organised wardrobes and drawers before finally pushing back his curtains and opening up a set of french doors that took up much of the wall on the far side of his room, his hand finding yours as he led you outside with him. The doors had brought you out onto a balcony that looked over his dimly lit, flower lined garden and across the distant tree tops to the city skyline, and you couldn’t describe how taken aback you were. Everything about this house from its architecture to the surrounding views was just amazing.

He pulled you over to sit on his outdoor chairs, a smile on his face. “You’re so cute, the whole time you were just like” he paused to pull a face of awe and you laughed, leaning back in your chair.

“I can’t believe you live like this, it’s crazy. I mean, I knew you lived in a nice house growing up, but this? This is just next level.”

“Thank you, I put a lot of my money into this house because I spend most of my time here, but I dunno, I still don’t feel as at home as I do when I come to yours.”

“Really? Why?”

“I guess because this house is so big and it’s just me, it just feels empty you know? I just have all this space with nobody to fill it, but your house is cosy and warm and I like that. 1st world problems amirite?”

“Wanna swap?”

“I’ll move in tomorrow,” he chuckled. “What would you have done if I lived in a horrible area or in a really tiny goshiwon?” (a small one bedroom apartment in Korea that usually consists of a bed and a desk and you share a kitchen/bathroom with others on your floor).

“Well, if you lived somewhere dangerous and you were at risk or you felt unsafe then I’d ask you if you wanted to come and live with me instead, and if you lived in a goshiwon I wouldn’t care because we’re always in eachothers personal space anyway,”

“That is true,” he smiled, “but aren’t you cute.”

“Were you checking if I’d still hang around if things go downhill and you lose all your money?”

“Pfft, no”

“Well just to be clear I wouldn’t care if you were rich or poor, Kim Taehyung. You’re still a good man at heart and that’s all that really matters to me,”

Your words made his heart squeeze because he didn’t agree, he didn’t think he was a good man. He’d told himself that if by the third date he was certain you both wanted to be together, then he would tell you everything, but until then he had to continue to swallow his guilt as if there was nothing to hide.

“Do you wanna stay the night?”

“I haven’t got anything with me,”

“You can wear my clothes, and I have a spare toothbrush you can use”

“Alright then,”

When you got ready for bed he let you look through his T-shirt drawer to pick out what you wanted to sleep in, your hands automatically gravitating towards a white T-shirt with a big design on the front.

“I like that shirt, I have it in black too, I think”

“You should wear the black one! Where is it?”

“Are we really gonna be wearing matching couple shirts before we’re even a couple?”

“Don’t act like you don’t love it, I know you,”

He smiled, reaching into his drawer and pulling out the darker version of your chosen top along with some comfy bed trousers, leaving you to skip off to the bathroom and get changed. When you returned you were bare faced with your hair tied up in a bun, your body clad in nothing but a pair of knickers and his oversized shirt which stopped at your mid thigh, and when you saw him in his matching shirt you couldn’t help but squeal.

“We’re so cringe, I love it” you giggled, and you saw the smile creep onto his face as he failed to conceal how much he was enjoying this moment, no matter how clichè it was. He pulled you closer to him so he could have a proper look at you, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his smile as his eyes wandered down your body, taking in how good you looked in his clothes as a familiar feeling of arousal started to rise within him, causing him to quickly try and cloud his brain with any other thoughts, something that was easier said than done as you pulled him over to the mirror to take a picture together, your bodys now pressed against eachother as he put his arms around you, smiling for the camera.

“These are so cute! Look!”

They really were cute.

“Send me those,”

“I expect to see them printed onto giant posters and stuck up around the house” you smiled as you sent the photos to him.

“As if I’d put them up and let other people see how good you look right now,”

You were surprised at his reply but you laughed, “I’m stood here with messy hair and no makeup on, people would probably think someone had a gun to your head to take these pictures with me”

He laughed, “well I think you look sexy in my clothes, you look way better than I would for sure”

“Shut uppp” you smiled, “and stop looking at me like that!” You reached up to cover his eyes and he caught hold of your wrists, peeking over your palms.

“Look at you like what?”

“You know how!”

“I don’t, enlighten me”

“Your eyes go all soft and you just look at me with a little smirk on your face! Stop!”

“Why? Does it get to you, Y/N?” He cocked an eyebrow and the smirk came back, making you exclaim out of frustration as you pulled your hands away from his and ran over to the bed, hiding yourself under the covers.

He laughed, following after you and hugging the mound your body made through the duvet, “you’re so annoying,”

“And you love it,”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do,”

“Shut up.”

He chuckled as you moved around underneath him, finally re-emerging into the open air. You were a little surprised at how close his face was to yours but you didn’t react, just closing your eyes to let him brush some stray strands of hair from your forehead. You felt his lips follow soon after, pressing a kiss just above the space between your eyebrows.

“I do wanna kiss you on the lips but I know we’re supposed to be behaving ourselves,” he spoke lowly, his voice making you open your eyes again to look up at him.

You tried to hold back your smile, playing it cool. “Well, it could technically be a goodnight kiss? We did just go on a date after all”

“Hmm, that’s true” he hummed, his gaze moving slowly from your eyes to your mouth as he edged a little closer. “Behaving is no fun anyway, right?”

“Someone’s not feeling shy anymore,”

“What can I say? Seeing you in nothing but my shirt has that effect on me” he smiled, closing the gap between you both as he manouvered around the duvet, careful not to break the kiss as he joined you under the covers. A shiver was sent up your spine as goose bumps broke out across your skin, your warm body obviously too sensitive to handle the touch of his icy fingertips. “Sorry, baby” he mumbled against your lips as he hooked an arm around you, making sure he was as close to you as possible to warm you up again, but his free hand was unable to hold back from wandering, carefully tracing itself up your leg before stopping at the thigh, giving it a squeeze, thoughts of him kissing and nipping and trailing his tongue up the soft skin now flashing through his mind, making him realise how desperate he was to have you writhing and moaning under his mouth, just the thought of it was intoxicating.

That was the first night you’d ever shared a bed together, all the other cuddles and erasure of eachothers personal space was usually not able to get this far as he’d tell you he had to go cause he has work early the next day, when in fact he was just heading out on his nightly shift of dealing, leaving you to sleep alone, none the wiser. Still, you took the moment in, your mind wandering back to the way he’d gripped and traced your thighs, fingers teasing the waistband of your underwear before tearing himself away and hiding his face in your neck, his lips still pressing kisses but softer this time, mumbling how much you mean to him as he gingerly tip-toed around the 3 words he knew he felt but wasn’t quite ready to speak into existence, his aura changing from needing release to needing affection, almost giving you whiplash as he did so.

He was mysterious to you, you wanted to keep searching his soul until you worked out what the missing puzzle piece was but you didn’t know where to start. Instead, you just enjoyed the moment, appreciating the way the sunlight that had broken through the crack in the curtains graced his face, illuminating how pretty he was.

You wished you could stay like this forever, wrapped up in his arms as even in his sleep he held you closely, never wanting you to leave his embrace because it brought him comfort. Comfort to know that you were here, with him, happy and safe and content. It’s all he wanted.

Sadly though, all good things must come to an end.

—————————-

Tae spat onto the rain covered pavement, leaving a small puddle of red to spread out on the grey tarmac, blood trickling down from his nose and onto his white dress shirt, mimicking the pattern of the raindrops that had now soaked through his clothes. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go.

He got back to his car, bloody knuckles scraping against the inside of his trouser pockets, sending a familiar yet out-dated pain to course through his nerves as he pulled out his phone, sending a message to his boys about the event that had just taken place.

It was supposed to be a quick job, a quick job that if completed would mean that he could spend the whole night with you tomorrow, but instead, it was a dirty trap. The deal had gone wrong and Taehyung was jumped by 3 men, all of them trying their best to overpower him and drag him to the floor, expecting to get away with the money and the drugs, but Tae wasn’t the weak fool they expected him to be. Despite the odds not being in his favour, he walked away with all the goods he arrived with, leaving the men with nothing but bullet wounds and broken bones.

He slumped back into the drivers seat, a dull ache pulsating through his right eye after sustaining multiple hits to the side of the face, his split lip throbbing mercilessly, yet he didn’t react. It had been a while since something like this had happened, but he’d been through far worse during his time in the industry, the scars literred across his body were proof of that.

To him, the bigger problem was that he knew he had to avoid you for a week or two, he needed enough time for his face to heal before seeing you again. Sure, he could lie and say he was mugged, or a crazy person attacked him in th street, but his pride was far too great for that. He’d never admit a false defeat.

The first lie of a business trip in Busan lasted a few days, believable enough for him to avoid having to see you, but he made sure to call and text as much as he could, wanting to make it clear that he wasn’t just avoiding you altogether.

“Boss, I caught wind that Yongguk isn’t happy about what happened that night you fought his men. He thinks you dishonoured him and he wants payback.”

Taehyung scoffed, “he wants payback? What is wrong with that guy? He’s the one that ordered for the deal to go bad, it’s not my fault his men aren’t trained well enough to take on one man”

“I know, but we’ve always known that he’s fucked up. Apparently two out of the three men he sent to you died, so he wants to even the playing field, I’m not sure if that means to come and kill you or any of us but he’s got a plan brewing.”

“Well I’m not gonna let him or anyone else hurt you guys, they can come for me all they want, but you’re not getting harmed, I can tell you that much.”

“No, we will stand alongside you. What’s the plan?”

“Well we’ll have to find out some more info first so go with Hoseok and Jungkook and try to find out as much as you can. We’ll gather here tonight at about 10 to talk it over.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Thank you.”

With a bow of his head Jimin left Tae’s office, leaving him alone to think about everything that was suddenly coming his way.

His phone started to ring, snapping him out of his thoughts. Y/N flashing up in bold across his screen.

“Hey Tae,”

“You alright, babe?”

“Yeah, I just miss you..you’ve been so m.i.a lately”

“I’m sorry, I just- after the Busan trip I felt a little unwell..I think I’ve come down with something and didn’t want to get you sick too, but believe me I miss you aswell”

“Oh no, what’s wrong?”

“Uhm I’m not sure really, I keep getting headaches and feeling sick”

“Oh no, rest lots and make sure you eat enough, do you need anything?”

“No thanks baby, I’m good. I’ll be sure to look after myself so I can see you again soon, I promise I’ll spoil you to make up for lost time” he frowned, feeling guilty for all the lies he’s told over the past week.

“You don’t need to, just seeing you again will be enough,”

“Aren’t you cute,”

“The cutest,” he could hear your smile through the phone and it made him feel warm, “now get some rest, I want you to be better as soon as possible! No excuses!”

“Yes ma’am! I’ll try my best and I’ll see you soon, thank you for calling me, I don’t deserve you”

You laughed a little, “shut up, there’s no need to thank me! I’ll see you soon, Tae” you smiled, and even though he couldn’t see you he smiled too,

“See you, y/n”

When you hung up he sighed, putting his head in his hands. He couldn’t keep this up for much longer.

—————————————

That evening tae invited his boys over for them to relay any information they found so they could devise a plan of action against Yixing and whatever he was plotting.

“We need to take him out, Tae. The longer he’s around, the more shit he’s gonna cause. He’s insane.” Yoongi spoke up, shaking his head at the information Jimin told to the group.

“I know, but it’s not as simple as that. We need to be tactical. If we know he’s planning to ransack us at our next shipment pick up, we’ll be on high alert. We’ll change our formation. It’ll only be the start so we need to keep two steps ahead, but the fact we have the information means we’re heading in the right direction.”

“We could set up a decoy shipment? We could reroute and pick up from a different dock? That’ll buy us some time?”

“Good idea, let’s work this out”

The boys continued to brainstorm their ideas for the next few hours, but little did Taehyung know that you were on your way over to surprise him with some dinner, expecting him to be in bed unwell.

When you arrived you knocked on the door just as Yoongi was coming out of the kitchen, a bottle of beer in hand. He looked through the spyhole, seeing you stood holding a bag of food. “I got it!” Yoongi called out, thinking you were the delivery girl for the dinner they’d ordered.

He opened the door and you were confused, “is Taehyung here?”

“Uh yeah, but I can just take it, thank you, have a good night”

He took the bag from you and you you furrowed your eyebrows, stopping the door with your hand as he went to close it.

“Wait-I’m confused, who are you?”

“Why does it matter? Taehyung is here, we ordered this on his account, but he’s busy so I answered the door”

“I’m not a delivery person?”

“Then who are you? Why do you wanna see Taehyung so badly? Oh god, did he hook up with you? I-“

“What? No?” You felt a weird sensation in your stomach, had he been hooking up with other girls? All of this was making you feel uneasy. Something was going on. “Can you just get him? He’s my friend and I was bringing him dinner because I thought he was sick.”

The man in front of you looked confused, he hadn’t seen or heard of you before. “What’s going on? Is the order wrong?”

Perfect timing.

When Tae appeared beside Yoongi you gasped at the bruises on his face, his bottom lip still swollen and scabbed from being split. You saw his eyes grow wide and he felt his heart fall into his stomach. He didn’t expect you to be here.

“This girl said she’s your friend and she made you dinner cause you’re sick?”

“Yeah Tae, I thought you were sick. Not battered and bruised, what’s going on? What happened to you?” You were dying to cup his face and kiss his bruises better but you knew he was keeping something from you, so you stood your ground.

Yoongi looked between you and Tae before backing up, sensing the tension in the air. “I’ll just go put this in the kitchen..”

Taehyungs heart was beating out of his chest, he almost wished Yoongi hadn’t left you two alone, he didn’t want to get into a fight with you. He didn’t want things to go like this.

“Are you gonna answer me or what?” you crossed your arms, looking up at him, waiting for him to give you an explanation.

He stepped out the house and closed the door behind him, blocking out the sound of the other male voices that were flooding towards you from the living room.

“I uhm..I don’t really know what to say..”

“What do you mean you don’t know what to say? You seemed to have a lot to say before when you were making up lies about being sick”

His head was spinning as he tried to think of a response, so instead he just bit his bottom lip, looking at the floor. He didn’t have the confidence to look you in the eyes.

“Are you just not interested in me anymore? Is that it? That guy asked me if I was one of your hookups, is that what you’ve been doing this whole time? Am I just one of your throw away girls?”

“What? No! I’m not hooking up with anybody! I only want to be with you, nobody else! There’s never been anyone else!”

You felt your chest tighten at his words. “How can I believe you when I know you’re still keeping something from me?”

“I just don’t want things to change, I know as soon as I tell you the truth you’re gonna see me differently and I’m scared of that..I-I don’t want to lose you again.”

You suddenly felt scared, maybe you didn’t want to know the truth.

“I’m scared now too, but just tell me. I want to know.”

He took a deep breath, thinking it all through. He realised that there was no way out of this now, and that he had to finally tell you the truth. The jig was up.

“Okay, fine..but can we talk about this in my car? I don’t want anyone listening.”

You nodded, “yeah, fine.”

He disappeared back into the house for a moment to retrieve his keys, trying his best to psych himself up for what was about to happen. He wasn’t sure how you were going to react, the enclosed space of his car possibly becoming the worst place to talk if you end up shouting, but it was too late to go back on himself now. He’d wasted enough time.

Once you both sat down in the front seats you turned to face him while he focused on the steering wheel, still too afraid to make eye contact.

You looked at his swollen, busted lip and the shadows of bruises that took over the side of his face. Had he been mugged? Who would do something like this to him? Why wouldn’t he just tell you?

You suddenly felt a swirl of anxiety in the pit of your stomach and you just wanted to know the truth. Whatever it was, you just had to make sure he wasn’t in danger.

“Tae, please just tell me, I’m worried about you.”

“Please promise me you won’t hate me,”

“What?”

He looked at you for the first time this evening, his eyes panicked. “If I tell you, please don’t hate me. I’ve been scared to tell you this whole time because I’m scared you’ll hate me and you won’t want me in your life anymore. I mean, I wouldn’t blame you, but I don’t want to lose you, not again.”

The anxious swirl returned, this time in the form of a tsunami as it moved to engulfed your chest, your eyes still on his bruised ones as he pleaded to you.

“I-I can’t promise that because I don’t know what you’ve done, Tae. You know me, I will try my best to understand you because I don’t want to lose you either, but we can’t work through something unless I know what it is.”

He took a deep breath, seeming defeated, but he knew you were right. He couldn’t expect you to promise that when he knew the kind of person he was.

“Okay..I’ll tell you.”

And with that, he turned back to the steering wheel, his gaze on his lap, and he told you everything. He told you about the real business his family had been involved in growing up, the trading of arms and drugs and any other illegal substance you could think off. All of which became his after his father had died. All of which became his and that’s why he disappeared.

He told you about his men, one of which you’d met at the door, and how without them he’d never have made it this far, because even though he was their boss, they were a team and together they ran the underground scene.

He told you about the things he’s done and the things he’s seen in order to to get to where he is today and you couldn’t even talk. You were in shock. You watched as he gripped the steering wheel, his eyes closed as he thought back on his career and the life he leads.

Finally he told you about his face and why he’d been avoiding you. He was too scared to let you know about the real him. The real him that laundered and blackmailed and fought in back alleys in the middle of the night after a deal’s gone bad. The real him that killed people. Albeit to stay alive, but he still killed.

He looked in pain as he wrapped up his explanation, his eyes threatening to brim over with tears. He really was a terrible person. He was selfish to expect you to stay. He was wrong to even bring you into all of this, lulling you into a false sense of comfort. He was disgusting and he hated himself.

“I just-I just didn’t want you to know me as this person, I didn’t want you to get wrapped up in my life and the shiftiness that comes along with it. I wanted you to see me as a better person, someone that reminded you of teenage me, of the good memories we had together, but-but I realise now that that’s not fair. You deserve better than this, better than me. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

You saw the brimming tears finally roll down his cheeks and he wiped them away. The silence in the car becoming deafening.

You couldn’t process anything he had just said. Being a gangster was one thing, selling drugs and buying guns, but murder? He was a murderer.

You felt your body shake with agitation, you felt sick.

How could he be capable of that? With his own bare hands? The same hands that held yours. The same hands that pulled you close to him and wrapped you in a hug. The same hands that ran through your hair and held your face as he kissed you.

“Please say something..” he sniffed as he turned to you, trying to find some kind of emotion on your face.

“I uhm..I think I need to go. I-I’m sorry but I’ve gotta go.”

Your gaze flashed up to his before gathering yourself and getting out, keeping your head down as you rushed back across his front garden and down his drive, almost reaching the front gate when you heard him call after you.

“Y/N, please! Wait! What does this mean?” You knew he wasn’t asking about your almost relationship, but more so whether or not you’d ever speak to him again.

You stopped in your tracks, turning back to him, you wished you hadn’t after seeing his face. He looked like a kicked puppy. You felt a twang in your chest as you fought between your head and your heart, but in the end you decided to stay neutral.

“I need some time to think, Tae. I’ve gotta go, I’m sorry.”

You tore yourself away from him and hurried out the gate, almost bumping into the real delivery boy on your way out.

You practically ran back to your car, locking the door behind you as you rested your head against the steering wheel, closing your eyes.

You couldn’t believe it.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for avenging my brother?

hiiiii ^^ so im (30, let's say M for convenience's sake) am currently the leader of a very big sect, which was Not the plan WhatSoEVER (i'll get into it). i was born as the younger sibling to the sect heir, which meant i had free reign to basically do whatever i wanted while he got the responsibilities and stuff! great deal methinks. our father died when we were both still young due to heart issues that run in the family and also being killed. since my brother had a decade or so on me, he pretty much raised me from then on while also having the new role of official sect leader on his shoulders.

again, seems like a good deal! he was strict, and really really insisted i practiced my fighting skills (like that wasn't the literal cause of our family's heart issues) to the point that one time he like kind of burned my paper fan collection in front of me but that's like it's all besides the point okay he loved me and i loved him and we were both there for each other okay? okay

anyway he had this servant/best friend/pretty sure somethingsomething was going on there. he was kind of like a second big brother to me. our interests overlapped and he also preferred stuff like art and poetry over fighting. he understood me in a way that my brother couldn't, and he helped raise me just as much, even accompanying me to my third year of summer courses. which lol was supposed to be a one year course but i failed twice. lmao w/e

things got... bad. a war broke out, the servant betrayed us by letting a dangerous enemy out of his cell, and he and my brother had a horrible fight that ended in the former's expulsion from our sect. fast forward yadda yadda this isn't so much the part of the story it's just context but basically that turned out to be a plan to get close to the enemy sect leader so he could stab him in the back. which turned out to become a recurring theme.

the servant, now a prominent figure in his own sect, my brother, and one basically-a-celeb from another sect became this big trio (and totally a Thing) because of the role they played in ending the war. servant-now-big-boy (let's go with snbb for convenience) used that position to send my brother into a cardiac arrest by playing a melody that was supposed to soothe him differently.

so now i was alone, and with one of the current biggest sects to lead, while all i wanted to do is look cute, paint and be bisexual. you can probably imagine how i felt when i learned who did it, especially considering how not only no one else knew, but he got /rewarded/ for it by becoming a sect leader himself. soooo i got a little silly and here's where i mighttttt be tah :3

basically i started a 10+ years revenge plan. i didn't really plan a /lot/ of it, but i knew i'd have to resurrect one of my childhood friends for it to grab attention away from me etc and such and so on and so forth. but basically i also got a gay and socially rejected teenager killed for that, desecrated the corpse of snbb's mother, paid some people to spread rumours here and there, possibly killed a few cats to lure a group of people where i needed them to be, and adopted a public persona of a useless idiot who couldn't run a sect for the life of me to keep suspsicions off of me for the duration of this, which was Also a part to get back at him because that meant he, as someone responsible and sooo niceys and oh won't you please help your poor little meowmeow with the big scary emails plssss (he basically ran the sect for me lol).

to top it all off i had him killed by the one person that loved him the most (mister sir basically-a-celeb. god his jawline is stronger than my will to live) (he has gone into seclusion and is isolating himself indefinitely to mourn)

but also all this allowed my old bestie to get gay married with his longtime heartthrob

so. aita?

[sophietv]

The Multidimensions Of Taylor's Art

I wrote this piece on Twitter back in May when people were very loud about the fact that trying to attribute a song to a muse was disrecpectful and was diminishing Taylor's art.

I think today is a good day to repost it:

Taylor Swift's art is multidimensional. She said it herself and as we keep repeating over and over again, she's a Mastermind.

The message she conveys with one song is larger than just being a good song with beautifully written lyrics.

I see a lot of people talking recently about how when people talk about the muses of the song they are "reducing" Taylor's art to her muses. And how gaylorism was somewhat "better" before because the focus was less on this.

(I would like to differ on this, but it’s a whole other conversation). 

But Taylor's art is multidimensional and intentionally directed to her fans. ALL her fans.

In one song, she manages not only to create a masterpiece with incredible lyricism.

She also manages to include deep queer references, ingrained in queer history. 

She also managed multiple times to reference queer arts, books, poems, artists etc.

Acknowledging all of it and appreciating it is, yes, very important. I mean, it's the core of her art and a beautiful part of gaylorism.

Who hasn't learned a lot about our own history all thanks to Taylor?

But while this part is very true. Taylor also manages to make sure in every song that we can identify the muse.

It has always been an important part of her artistry. Remember liner notes from Debut to 1989?

She even decided that it was not enough, and starting with reputation, she started including Taymojies, making sure you knew very well who and what that song was about.

But she doesn't even stop there. For most of her songs starting with 1989 all the way to Midnights, she's also making sure that you can identify said muse through her lyrics.

Ever wonder why, for most of her songs there's parallels you can easily make with social media posts, articles, interviews, videos etc?

She's making sure that she references things in her songs that will point to the muse and that you'll be able to track back with some simple google search. 

All of this is very very clearly intentional.

She also uses the same imagery that she knows very well her fans can recognize since 1989 while talking about her muse.

Using recurring themes that she's well aware her fans (us) will associate with the person (Sun, gold, New York, daisies etc.)

But the depth of her work doesn't even stop there. She'll even use timestamps in her songs to communicate certain messages or references to certain persons. And this is when the length of the song is not simply intentionally referencing one person:

Ex Sweet Nothings: Karlie's birthday

And so much more…

This can clearly be qualified as pure genius. But she pushes it even farther. 

If we take Midnights for example she even samples her songs to older ones to help you identify the time, the event or the muse this song references.

Lavender Haze - I Think He Knows

Question…? - Out Of The Woods

Maroon - King Of My Heart

And it's not even the end of the massive amount of information that she manages to put out in a 3-4 minutes song.

This is simply astonishing. 

Her brain truly is amazing.

Her lyrics videos are made to help you identify what and who the song is about. With visual clues and very intentional uses of capital letters and comas.

For example: "Your Midas touch"

Making sure you know she's referencing king Midas who turned everything he touched into gold (gold again, interesting).

Or: "some name dropping sleaze tell me what are my Wordsworth"

From The Lakes, referencing the poet William Wordsworth.

And it still goes further. She will include small details in her songs that you'll pick up on if you pay attention but will fly right past most listeners. A sort of secret message for those who really pay attention.

Ex: in Getaway Car, when she sings.

"Ain't a circus, ain't a love story and now we're both sorry (we're both sorry)"

This is two girls singing "we're both sorry. Meaning the relationship she was trying to protect with this getaway car was with a girl. Once again pointing to the muse.

I already wrote a novel and I haven't even touched the music videos and tour visuals…

But her genius in songwriting doesn't even end there.

Because, if you don't know the muse or refuse to see it. She'll also manage to buy some plausible deniability in her songs so it kind of points to her PR relationships too.

Not much, just enough so that if you really want to believe those Hollywood stories, you can hold on to these lines/visuals and be happy.

But she manages to do so, while staying true to the real muse and not so much to the PR relationship.

A good example is Invisible String and the famous Yogourt shop line with the wrong shirt color.

If your life depends on Toe, it's enough to make you happy and you won't search much further.

However if you search a bit, you'll find out how she intentionally messed up the lyrics.

I could still go on and on about the depth, the genius and the complexity of her songwriting, but I think you see my point now.

She said it herself, her songwriting is painfully autobiographical. And she puts an immeasurable amount of effort in it to make sure you get the story right.

Dismissing the muse of the song to not reduce her work is just as bad as dismissing her queerness and all the references she does to it, to not "speculate" on her.

In both, of all the multidimensional approaches that she uses in her art. You are keeping yourself from enjoying and dismissing about 50% of her hard work. If not more when you include music videos.

Acknowledging her muses to the songs is not reducing anything but more embracing as much as you can the genius and hard work she puts behind every song and every artistic decision she makes.

And I'm not saying that you HAVE to acknowledge the muse or else you are not a true fan. Art is meant to be enjoyed differently by every person and at the end of the day you take what makes you happy, simple as that.

My point is to say that acknowledging the muse in her music is not reducing anything. Quite the contrary. 

[joyfuladorable]

⭐️ any section of I'll Be Okay! that you're itching to speak on, i am all ears, ears for days.

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

*twirls you around!!* HANNAHHH!!! 💜💜

Oh, man, so, as I made sure to point out in the Author’s Notes, this fic was inspired by This Art by my Buddy soggytommy on twt:

My writer brain was active at the time so I sat down and wrote a couple hundred words and DMed my buddy the wip, to which they responded by giving me more context about the scene: fighting the PDs, Leo accidentally blows something up, Mikey suffers the consequences.

So, the actual bts is that I Had been considering making this full angst with comfort at the end, but y’know!! I’m a sucker for levity during serious situations (which is probably why Mikey’s my fave, lol), so I tried to strike a balance there with Mikey kinda breaking the tension at multiple points, even with himself during the immediate aftermath of the explosion.

Also, I enjoy echoing/calling back to lines in my fics! The most obvious recurring one in this fic is the theme of Promises (Mikey promising he’ll be okay, Leo promising to tell him the end of the book, Mikey promising to tell someone immediately next time he gets badly injured). Don and Leo both tell each other at different points that they’ve done Enough. In Mikey’s POV, there’s Orders, with Mikey immediately following Leo’s command to Run and then later listening when he tells him to sleep. There’s also the Donnie SAINW trauma I slipped in, with both Leo and Mikey noticing he doesn’t react well upon seeing Mikey with arm injuries. Probably a few more but these are the clearest ones off the top of my head, lol!

Oh, and here are some of my favorite lines:

- “Aw, du’...” Mikey glares up at him. “Cli’ ‘angr.” << *points at my bestie* turtle who wants immediate gratification instead of suspense and probably loves to binge stories in one sitting

- A bookmark sticks out of it, tasseled with yarn and made up of layered and colorful construction paper and filled with childhood memories. A frail thing (a treasured gift) that has somehow survived all these years and unintentional moves. << *points again* baby Mikey made that :3

- The stabby thing needs to stay in his arm or else he’s off to join the Big Turtle in the Sky. << Personally the funniest joke I had Mikey think to himself next to the This Mission Blows line

- I know it’s Bad, he tells his brain as the pain whites out his vision. Stop yelling at me. I know. << *Mario falling in lava owowowow noise* if I ever actually draw this scene I apologize in advance

- Leo being up meant that they could stay up late, so Donnie would tinker or read and Raph would hog the Gameboy so Mikey would be resigned to reading comics. Sometimes, he’d slip under Leo’s blanket tent and try to read with him, asking him questions about the heroes and the villains and the story. << I wrote this Because of your (yes, You, Hannah) comment on Ch1 which made me think about Leo reading to his bros. Also, I totally drew a thing inspired by this because it’s The Most Precious Thing

- “Nope!” Mikey forces a leg to kick out of his blanket, missing Leo by a mile but sending the message loud and clear. “Y’know what? No blame game! No one wins in the blame game.” << *points for one last time* things I’ve actually done as a kid tucked in bed and a sibling says something stupid so I kicked out to let them know so

- And, he finally gets a hug from his dad, a carefully gentle thing from Splinter that he soaks in like the rays of the sun. << Actual Favorite Line that I will feel proud of til the end of time and also maybe draw at some point cuz Splinter Hug

[cloudselkie]

Shay's 2023 Tarot Purchase Round-Up

Unfortunately, I don't have time for a huge review post this year, but here are my top 10 favorite tarot decks that I purchased this year!

10. Dreams Within Dreams Tarot

- This was a Kickstarter I backed last year. The art is beautiful and the artist stated that they were inspired by their favorite anime growing up in the late 90s and early 2000s. The only reason this deck isn't higher on the list is because I found that the whiplash between some cards being fan art and some being original art was too much for me to really connect with it.

Where to buy: Kickstarter exclusive, but still available in various Etsy shops

9. Stars Lighting Up the Night Tarot

- This deck came out of nowhere and instantly became a favorite. I love the night scenes and the multiple versions of some cards so you can customize the deck. It also has the linen card texture I love! I purchased the limited edition version just to get that texture!

Where to buy:

8. Titanic Tarot: Risen Spirits (Titanic Tarot 2nd Edition)

- This version massively improves on the first (which I already loved) by removing the borders and including updated art for the pip cards that better represents the full story of the passengers of the Titanic, including before the voyage and after.

Where to buy: Mostly out of stock, but still available at some Etsy shops and online magic supply stores

7. Sleepwalker Tarot

- I ended up getting the mini because it was all that was left, but I wish I had the full size. The art is so beautiful and Iove how calming the subjects are with their eyes closed. Also, I found the full size and will definitely be purchasing!

Where to buy:

6. Witch Sister Tarot

- I waited TWO YEARS for this tarot and the art alone was worth it. I love the artist's previous deck, and stumbled on some of the art for this one on Etsy while looking for devotional items for selkie and for the Cailleach. It's finally out! The only downside is that it's a Llewellyn deck and has their usual thin cardstock.

Where to buy:

5. Shadowscape Tarot

- An oldie but a goodie. I finally got this after a few years of eyeing it, and it's definitely a great choice for being a mass market deck. Stephanie Pui-Mun Law's art is beautiful. Reminds me of old Amy Brown paintings, but far better executed.

Where to buy:

4. Starspinner Tarot

- I ADORE the art for this deck. It reminds me somewhat of CLAMP art. The art is also inclusive and bright and the deck has four different lovers cards so you can have whatever flavor you wish! This one is also mass market but great quality.

Where to buy:

3. Cozy Witch Tarot

- Of course I expected this deck to be cozy, but I was surprised with just how much I like the whole package. The card subjects are diverse not only in skin color, but in body type as well, which really stood out and made this deck one that I came back to often. The only downside is that the cards are slightly larger than standard size, so they can be difficult to handle at times.

Where to buy:

2. Monsoon Tarot

- This deck honestly has the most beautiful art of any deck I own. I'm always discovering new details in the cards and they range from cozy to dreamlike to grotesque in all the right ways. The cardstock also has that linen/playing card texture over them which makes shuffling a breeze. I use this less to read and more to just wander through and look at.

Where to buy:

1. Spirit Keeper Tarot

This one is hard to get a hold of, but so worth it. I happened to check in while the author still had some of the current edition left in stock after pre-orders on her website and managed to snag one. I LOVE working with this deck. The art is great, but the companion book is really what makes this deck incredible. The book goes over a lot of the inspiration behind each card and the symbolism. The author is of Chinese descent, so she has tied both western and eastern concepts to each card, which she lays out in the book. This has been the main deck I have read with since I got it. S tier deck.

Where to buy:

[myers-meadow]

1. What is a fic premise that you thought would have already been written, but turned out not to be the case?

8. What makes your fics ‘your fics’; which sets them apart for you?

11. Which character is the most fun to write? Why?

18. What is a recurring theme or symbolism that you like to include in your writing?

I hope this isn’t too much my beet but I’m just too nosy and curious 🤣

Beloved <33 Thank u for sending ;;;w;;

So tough to think of! It depends on each character too. It's mostly making me think that I write too damn little to ever want to get all of my plot bunnies exorcised. Speaking of exorcism, I'm surprised I haven't written more for demons from various horror movies <3.

8. For me it is that they seem to cater so specifically to my needs in a fic? ahhaha :)) Images/descriptions I often reuse are how sex is overwhelming, or hazy and so on (ya girl be dizzy) - and reader/oc is always special in some way.

11. Currently; Snape! Of course it is 🥺. The fandom around him has been unlike anything I've ever seen - wonderful and interesting meta, such a wide scope of fics to choose from, amazing art everywhere... And getting to experience that is just a joy, makes me want to give back. Besides that, the writing itself is great too, bc Snape is such a complex character that has so many layers to explore - just such a good time.

18. Hmm,,,,,, thematically I always enjoy relations between good and evil playing in the background. I love when I take someone who is good and show their dark side, or someone who is cruel to show their tender side... :))) Humanity is interesting to me.

[heleizition]

AIGHT im back and i did the reading and i need to know e v e r y t h i n g about the naruto au im not even fucking around. the amount of times ive fixated on that shit despite never finishing it is unreal. also which one was the one that got beheaded? because thats superb shit and i require more information to rotate them in my mind

HIIIIIII thank u so much for this ask i saw it at work and i was SO EXCITED to get home and tell u all about a) the naruto au b) eden who's the one who gets beheaded :3

BTW you can find the art i did of my ocs by checking out the tags on my blog of their name (ex nell art is under #nell, vik's is under #vik ...)

i'll start with eden !!! he's my token white haired guy (altho i have also a white haired girl in the same group of oc lol) to whom i do many terrible things. ever since i created him he's had a scenario where his neck got hurt (electric shock to his neck, knife injury, beheading to simply head explosiong lmao). he's an angel in the angel/demon scenario and the village's doctor in the farm au :3 he's always some sort of healer ! (he's that one "im a healer but... *cocks gun*" meme)

in the angel au he has extraordinary healing powers that antagonists want for themselves until they realise eden is not gonna give under the pressure and side with them so they behead him/make his head explode. not quite sure whcih one yet <3. except he doesn't die bc his power is more. body manipulation than healing and it acts by itself and stitch him back together . its a very traumatizing process but in return he destroys the other guys : D he's often nell's best friend in aus... moody guys who become menaces together. he was supposed to end up w jasper when i very first made him but eh !!!

THE NARUTO AU

okay so . disclaimer most of what i know of naruto is memories from what i watched when i was a young teen and a lot of sakura centered fanfics ive read the past few months lol

the story focus on on genin team but for the sake of the story ill jst go and talk abt the others too :

a) main genin team is nell, vik, lena and their teacher abel

b) second genin team is belly, jasper and eden with their teacher noah

c) cody is basically tsunade, titania is a civilian from a noble family who has a whole side story with lena lol

nell and belly (twins) are illegitimate kids from a clan's girl, who possess the clan's kekkei genkai. no i dont know what it is yet it's not even relevant to the story SEFJSEFOSFJOE

once their mother die they're put under the care of their mother's clan, where they're not rly treated well,,,, belly is a natural as using the clan's technic while nell isn't,,, they stick together but they're treated different and it sucks. tbh nell and belly's ways of dealing with family trauma is a recurring theme in all of the universes they're part of...

nell's fighting style focus on ice jutsu mostly, he's not a powerhouse but he's deadly. belly is more of a brawler type but i havent figured it out much yet :]

vik is an orphan who was groomed into roots (in universe it's a secret unit of ninjas like anbu but it's controlled by danzou who's a fucker and stole kekkei genkai including sharingans by STEALING DEAD PEOPLE'S EYES), who want's belly & nell's clan's kekkei genkai, and who's sent to pass as a new genin in nell's team to gain his trust and kill him and take his eyes,,, theres prob something going on to take belly's also but i havent gotten that far lol

lena (my BABYGIRL) is a civilian, born from a big player merchant family, who's supposed to inherit her parent's role but does Not want to :] she's lovely she's great she has a lot of chakra that she uses for summons (tigers!!!) and also she IS a powerhouse (uses . axes). not the most usefull of spy missions lol i love her <3

abel, in most of my stories, is a big brother figure to most of the kids especially nell,,,, i have not figured out yet what exaclty he does in this au BUT he and cody are old buddies and are destined to be together in all of my aus. anyway

quick other stuff, belly is very angry in hte beginning like her brother and does not know how to work with a team, jasper is kind and gentle and has to learn how to deal with her, also later masters mokuton (tree/plants jutsu) (which makes him very precious and rare), eden is once again a healer in this except he also works with poisons. bitch

and their teacher, noah, also works in torture and interrogation which will come up later.

basically the story follows nell's team as they meet and start working with each other, vik realising that maybe he's doing something that he shouldn't, almost kills nell once when infiltrating his living place but manages to get out when he hears belly coming in, discovers the power of friendship, then they're sent in the death forest for their chunin exam, antagonist guy sends more roots agents bc vik can't do the job, vik protects nell and lena, spills as much of the beans as he can before the seal in his throat starts to paralyze him, nell holds on to him for dear life and fights the other roots, lena gets one of her summoned tiger to go find eden and his team who save the day & also vik...

once vik is saved he cooperated with t&i and noah, who works on the case, adopts him,,, all is well. its not much . i feel like i had more thoughts lmao but its all messy in my head <3 thank u for reading

[dreamperson-poll]

Denil

dreamed by @dominijoyce

art by @noodlekittyart!

Denil is a recurring figure appearing in my dreams since my childhood. The first instance of Denil I remember is when I was around 7 (I'm now 20 and Denil still visits my dreams in fact Denil appeared in one few days ago) I'm not sure what pronouns to refer to Denil with so I will instead only use the name. Denil's appearance shifts near every dream however I can always tell that it is still Denil.

most common traits of Denil are:

Most commonly appears as a full black/shadowy sillhoutte without any distinctive features except sometimes for singlecolor eyes [closest similar example is the game Limbo]. Even when Denil manifests as a more detailed appeara- Except for few rarer instances, Denil always seem to remain stationary and stay in one "place" in dream or only doing one specific action. Denil might move somewhere else but you will never notice that movement with your own eyes. Denil is not like SCP-076 where Denil would remained statue-like, Denil moves but the movements are very "shallow" if that makes sense.

Denil always looks at me, Denil never looks somewhere else if I am near, always looking in my direction, directly at my face if Denil can.

Denil's dream themes quite often include the themes of repeating and doing something over again (quite often being in a loop though not always aware of it until I wake up), mirrors or/and glass, objects breaking (sometimes aforementioned mirrors and glass but not always), counting except skipping numbers without any pattern (so or example 2, 3, 7, 8, 15, 37), rich victorian aestheticnce, there is always something "shadowy" in that appearance. Sillhoutte doesn't have to be humanoid.

Okay-

First instance of Denil I remember was when I was around 7. Back then Denil manifested as a shadowy spider of size comparable to a smaller dog. Despite that, I haven't been afraid of Denil, I was just cautiously observing the spider from the distance. Back then I wasn't aware it was Denil.

That is because for next, 5 or 6 years Denil would mostly appear as a sillhouette of an adult masculine figure with white orbs where eyes should be. The most common pattern of the dreams that included Denil was me escaping from Denil who would either manifest in countless mirrors in some high class mansion. I would try to run away trying to not get caught.

I actually have not named Denil for many years. The dream that made Denil receive that name was yet again in "chase sequence" dream, except in that one, I would be caught for the first time ever. All I remember is that I was grabbed by my neck by the sillhouette in the mirror and wake up breathing heavily and not exactly in control of my body. After that state passed, out of nowhere the name "Denil" escaped my mouth and ever since then that's the name I started using to refer to the sillhouette figure.

I remember the "chase nightmares" would sort of halt in being my usual dreams. I also remember Denil sometimes taking form akin to some fictional characters, quite often ironically from Horror genre media.

Two examples I remember the most was when Five Nights at Freddy 2 came out, I had a dream in which I was in my bed and there would be a shadowy sillhouette of the Puppet with white orbs for eyes sitting and observing me cautiously. That is all I remember of that one.

The other was around when Doki Doki Literature Club came out and in my dream I remember being at my grandma's house and there being a blurry and silhouetty figure of Monika. Fascinatingly enough, that (submission cut off here)

Okay I was talking of Monika. Worth noting that Denil as Monika actually had more color which is what made me realize it was Monika in the first place. The figure was still blurry and had no actual details.

For some reason, from the age of around 15 to 18, Denil would mostly manifest as a feminine sillhouette, quite often in a high and long ponytail.

Denil's eyes would also stop being white and quite often shift color between dreams. Most common ones were: emerald green, crimson, darker purple and somewhat maroon red.

Some other most memorable dreams were

Similar to the Puppet dream, I had another where Denil did nothing but observe me except this time Denil would stand (stand, not sit) on a chair next to my bed in which I was in.

Denil would rarely manifest as humanoid non adult figures but I remember having a dream in which I was a raven that Denil who manifested as a shadowy preschool aged boy who would decide to observe me as I sat at a windowsill of a mansion Denil resided in

For many years Denil would never talk to me, just look at me, but somewhere in High School the dreams with Denil included Denil speaking but only ever to me (if the dreams ever included other "characters")

As of late (as in in last few recent years), sometimes a common theme in my dreams is Denil being my older sibling. I remember reffering to Denil as my older brother and older sister in multiple of my dreams.

Denil's usual sillhouette I was used to (which was just the body without any recognisable fashion elements except the ponytail sometimes if you count that) would often start manifesting with a visible high class ballroom dress reaching around kneeheight

While my dreams don't tend to put me in high stress as the ones from my younger years and quite often Denil is no longer a "villain" in them (the dreams where Denil is my sibling, Denil is often helping me with whatever else that is bothering us in the dream), there are exceptions. I noticed in dreams Denil is a villain, Denil takes on a more animalistic figure. For example, few weeks ago Denil manifested as a sillhouette of a wolf like person, similar in shape to Death from Puss in the Boots 2, also had the Death's eye color.

As of even more recently, Denil started to sometimes manifest as a tethered figured, inherently connected to my mind and/or soul. Quite often I no longer see Denil taking on any form but I still can hear Denil talking or us conversing or id Denil is not soeaking in that particular dream, I still feel Denil's pressence close to me.

[the-rapture-historian]

The BioSurvey, a BioShock Series Survey

Hello, everyone! This is a fun little general survey I've thought about doing out of curiosity, to see what aspects of the series people liked the most across all three main titles so far and their respective DLCs.

This is the main post for the survey, and I'll be releasing the polls as separate polls to link back to here later, as well as link this post to each of them. The polls will be about 3-4 released each week, and will all last about a week to get as many votes possible hopefully from as many people on here as my current following can get.

As with Tumblr's poll settings, voting is anonymous and results can only be seen either once you vote or the polls end. There are no wrong answers to this poll and this isn't a competition between games, so please feel free to vote for whichever option you like!

Once the survey finishes, I'll be making some charts to show the final data, and maybe I'll make a few fun-jokey polls afterwards. If you have any suggestions for polls in the survey, send me an ask!

The polls are listed below:

4th February Polls: Franchise Overview

Question 1: Favourite Main Title

Question 2: Favourite Side Content

Question 3: Have you read the novel?

Question 3.1: How do you view it?

Question 3.2: How canon do you view it?

11th February Polls: Gameplay & Combat

Question 4: Favourite Gameplay Experience

Question 5: Most Useful BioShock Weapon

Question 6: Most Useful BioShock 2 Weapon

Question 7: Most Useful BioShock Infinite Weapon

Question 8: Preferred Hacking System

Question 9: Most Useful Plasmid (Offence)

Question 10: Most Useful Plasmid (Support)

Question 11: Most Useful Vigor

18th February Polls: Art, Design & Environment

Question 12: Favourite Art Style

Question 13: Most Interesting Environment

Question 14: Favourite BioShock Area

Question 15: Favourite BioShock 2 Area

Question 16: Favourite BioShock Infinite Area

Question 17: The BioShock Art Books

Question 18: Preferred Character & Enemy Design

Question 19: Most Interesting Cut Concepts

4th March Polls: Music & Score

Question 20: Do you listen to the OST(s)?

Question 21: Most Effective Soundtrack

Question 22: 'Nostalgic' Licensed Music

Question 23: Favourite Anachronistic Cover

Question 24: Favourite Recurring Theme/Leitmotif

11th March Polls: Cast & Characters

Question 25: Strongest Cast

Question 26: Best Voice Direction

*Question 27: Most Liked Major Character (BioShock)

Question 28: Most Liked Minor Character (BioShock)

Question 29: Most Liked Enemy Character (BioShock)

*Question 30: Most Liked Major Character (BioShock 2)

Question 31: Most Liked Minor Character (BioShock 2)

Question 32: Most Liked Enemy Character (BioShock 2)

Question 33: Favourite Big Daddy Type

Question 34: Most Enjoyable Playable Character

Question 35: Most Liked Major Character (BioShock Infinite)

Question 36: Most Liked Minor Character (BioShock Infinite)

Question 37: Most Liked Enemy Character (BioShock Infinite)

2nd April Polls: Story & Narrative

Question 38: Most Enjoyed Storyline/Narrative

*Question 39: Fate of Little Sisters (BioShock)

*Question 40: Preferred Ending (BioShock)

*Question 41: Fate of Little Sisters (BioShock 2)

*Question 42: Gathering with Little Sisters (BioShock 2)

*Question 43: Fate of Lamb's Governors (BioShock 2)

*Question 44: Fate of Sofia Lamb (BioShock 2)

*Question 45: Preferred Ending (BioShock 2)

*Question 46: Raffle Throw Choice (BioShock Infinite)

*Question 47: Elizabeth's Brooch Choice (BioShock Infinite)

*Question 48: Ticket Office Ambush Choice (BioShock Infinite)

*Question 49: Fate of Cornelius Slate (BioShock Infinite)

*Question 50: BioShock Infinite's Ending

*Question 51: Most Enjoyed Audio Diaries

Polls will be released each Saturday at 17:00 EST, each having an overall connecting theme or aspect of the franchise.

*These polls have been tagged for spoilers as they spoil certain elements of the plots of their respective games.

This post will be pinned on my blog so be sure to check back for updates if you don't find the polls in the tags!

[sunwarmed-ash]

For the fic writer asks: 18, 19, 22, 40, 41

Also I don't think I saw anything like this on the list so this one's straight from my brain: Do you have notes to help you keep track of what's happening in each of your WIPs, or are you just able to do that in your head (my memory fucking sucks - I could never)

Hope you're having a good day 😘 (at first I accidently typed "gay" instead of "day" and ya know what? I DO hope you're having a good gay day 😂)

Dude thank you so much for sending these, i fucking love talking about writing and fandom <3 it brings me so much joy

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

All three!! Titling is actually my favorite part. Usually, they come from song titles, lyrics, or references that I felt either really captured the theme of the characters or the plot. Or sometimes they are the inspiration!! Sometimes they are funny, catchy or sexy in ways I think will bring people in but mostly they are song titles/lyrics haha  Almost all of the angsty Harringrove fics I wrote (13+ i think now) are MGK songs haha 2020-2022 was my all MGK all the time period because he dropped two sick fucking albums in two years and helped me out of more spirals than I can count. 

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Oh shit idk can I check that? Let me go look… Alright im too high to do that and google wasn't helpful so i'm taking a guess haha probably Smut or angst. I don't write exclusively smut or angst but almost every single fic I have has hurt/comfort scenes or sex scenes in them. Probs cuz people cry and have sex in real life haha and i'm tired of the bullshit on tv 

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I don't write anything with scat or piss play, just not my thing so i think it would be difficult to write it for me. I don't have usually any hard no’s when it comes to writing. The content I consume is a different answer though. Likely because I have the ability to just not think about the things I don't want to think/write about whereas if I don't check does the dog die.com before a movie I’ll be panicking the whole time I’m gonna be triggered by on screen SA which seems to be a recurring theme in EVERY scary/thriller these days (fuck YOU hollywood)

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Dude any!!!! But i'm also a horny slut so really any of the Hankconvin, steddiegrove, harringrove, parksborn sex scenes are good with me!!

I still have the fan art  someone made me for a fic I wrote back in 2013 as my phone background :3 I have since lost touch with them on tumblr but I think about them everyday

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I’m a huge re-reader/reconsumer. I will watch the same show 100 times and never get tired of it. Same with the fics I read. I’m a SUCKER for that good good content 

Bonus ?: Also I don't think I saw anything like this on the list so this one's straight from my brain: Do you have notes to help you keep track of what's happening in each of your WIPs, or are you just able to do that in your head (my memory fucking sucks - I could never)

Hahahahha yes and no. If its a short fic, I'll usually just reread it before i start adding new content since I jump around between fics CONSTANTLY. If it's a long fic, like the fucking Eden club yes, I have notes because I just don't have the time to go back and reread. My docs are a total mess hahahaha I love you, thank you for theses <3 I AM HAVING A GREAT GAY DAY AND I FUCKING HOPE YOU ARE TOO!

[fleurcareil]

East Ontario: Bon Echo and Ottawa areas

And off I go! 9am Thursday 1st June I'm starting my cross Canada road trip with an overloaded car and at 54,836km...

First stop is one of my favourite things in Ontario; paddle boarding along the Mazinaw Rock in Bon Echo Provincial Park, midway between Toronto and Ottawa. After having traversed the entire GTA one last time on the QEW, Gardiner, DVP and 401 highways, I finally escaped the madness and got to spend a few lovely hours on the water, searching for the pictographs that Indigenous people created a long time ago. The first time I tried to find them was with my mother by kayak, but not having a clue what it exactly was that we were looking for, we found none until we realised on a boat tour that they're tiny and just above the water, whereas we had been craning our neck to scour the high cliffs for anything that seemed remotely like a drawing 😂. Since then, I had already come back once to explore by SUP, however now in the mid-week quiet without other tourists & motorboats it was magical!

Starting my trip during an unexpected heatwave (32C!) has been tiring as I was constantly sweating but at least it meant I was not freezing at night which had been my fear. In the morning I did my regular 20-minute hulahoop wake-up routine but this time on the beach overlooking the cliffs... Great way to start the day and as bonus there were no mosquitos!! I kinda had forgotten how bad it can be in spring, but after two miserable attempts at a hike, I realised I will be doing most of my exploring by water until the bugs have died off. That said, so far it's only been mosquitos which have mass-targeted me, without the deer/black/sand/other nasty flies, so I guess it can & will still get much worse.

Instead of hiking, I ended up paddling two little lakes at Sheffield Conservation Area just south of Bon Echo, which is the most southern location to experience the Canadian Shield... it was not as majestic as up north but the bare granite rocks hold their beauty wherever they are! The channel between the lakes turned out to be blocked by a beaver dam, which made me realize that the pretty water lilies that I had seen earlier were basically the beaver's vegetable garden 😜. I had never seen a beaver dam up close from the water, so it was cool to see how it's constructed with a slope of soil upstream, intertwined with branches for extra stability. I tried to spot the beaver as well, but no luck (the only time I've seen a beaver was at Leslie Spit in Toronto of all places!). Someone had already created a little portage trail around the dam so that I could continue to the next lake and eat lunch on a little island (with my feet out of the water as the fish were trying to nibble).

Am now on a campground on the Quebec side for 3 nights to spend some time around Ottawa; after not having done a campfire on the first night I was looking forward to one and bought a 1-kilo bag of marshmallows and my favourite chocolate (dark, orange & sea salt) for s'mores, but the entire province is under a fire ban due to the many forest fires that are out of control.... Am afraid this is going to be a recurring theme this summer, we need to fix climate change asap!! Without a fire to chase them away, I'm already completely fed up with the mosquitos at the end of the 2nd day, so I spent the evening in my "living room" tent, which is a blissful haven to eat, read and drink some wine.

Spent Saturday very chilled in the capital; although downtown Ottawa is small it is very lively due to all the tourists (like me) and I always enjoy walking around the highlights; I had planned to visit the National Art Gallery but wasn't attracted by any of the current exhibits so gave it a miss and visited the neighbouring Royal Mint instead for what turned out to be a private tour of the facilities - cool to see how they make 99.99% pure silver and gold coins! Thereafter past the Rideau Canal to Parliament Hill which was disappointing because of the construction but also because I couldn't find my favourite sculpture 'Women are Persons!" celebrating the suffragette movement that allowed women to vote...I did find it later in front of the Senate building, but only after I attended (unplanned) the annual D-Day commemorative ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. We cannot afford forgetting the horrible impacts of war so it was a sobering but important moment. I ended on a Byward patio; nothing beats drinking a beer in the sun and watch the world go by!

And today I had a beautiful day at Gatineau Park where I had never been despite having wanted to on previous trips, due to rain/snow etc...I initially did not plan to hike and go supping instead but there was a lot of wind and it turned out no mosquitos due to the cooler weather, so I ended up doing several hikes after all, up to some viewpoints that were no longer visible (as is often the case as they don't cut the trees so that beautiful view when the bench was installed 10+ years ago is long gone), around Pink Lake which is green from the many algae, and to a waterfall that hadn't seen a lot of rain but was pretty nevertheless. I always struggle with making forest hike pictures interesting as it's very green without much variation and not able to capture the true essence of hearing the wind & the birds, the dappled light on the forest floor etc. Tried anyway, and also made a picture of the forest along the parkway to capture the bright apple green of the trees in spring, so refreshing! Ended the day at the Champlain lookout over the Ottawa valley.

Not sure I'll keep up writing so much each time but am clearly excited about how the trip has started so far! 😍

Wildlife: 1 marmot (Bon Echo), 2 male mergansers fighting with each other (Bon Echo), 10,000 mosquitos (Bon Echo), 2 snakes (Toronto Island and Sheffield), 2 turtles (Gatineau), 2 deer (along the road in Gatineau)

SUPs: three (Toronto Island, Bon Echo, Sheffield)

Hikes: one small one (eaten alive) and one aborted (more eaten alive), both at Bon Echo. Three hikes at Gatineau (no single mosquito bite!)

[marketingprofitmedia]

RankNinja Review - Instantly Rank Any Website on Google's

Welcome to my RankNinja Review. Today, when we live in the world of the internet, the art and science of getting your website to the top in search engine results is necessary. Marketers and businesses alike are always looking for the tools that give them that competitive edge. That’s where RankNinja comes in, a next generation of software, which promises to make Google™ rank any website by tapping into 14,000 Google API leak points.

This tool’s low, one time price makes it all the more attractive because it’s a departure from the costly recurring subscription models that most SEO tools demand. In this tutorial, we’ll explore the features, performance, pros, cons, price, and if it’s really a ‘good buy’ regardless of whether you’re planning to dominate Google Search results.

What Is RankNinja?

RankNinja SEO tool is an advanced tool created based on Google’s hidden 14,000 API leak points, which they call the secret keys that help to improve in your website’s rankings on Search Engine ™. The software is designed for ease of use to the point where even non technical users can reap the benefits of its powerful automation.

This is a one time purchase tool that gives you guaranteed to be the top in search engine (SEO) Strategies, I mean you may not have to work too much as you will dominate search engine (SEO) result pages (SERPs). RankNinja promises to make ranking challenges easy, no matter if you are a blogger, marketer or business owner.

RankNinja Review: Overview

Product Creator: Abhijit Saha

Product Name: RankNinja

Launch Date: 2124-Nov-25

Launch Time: 11:00 EST

Front-End Price: $17 (One-time payment)

Official Website: Click Here To VisitOfficial Salespage

Product Type: Tools and Software

Support: Effective Response

Discount: Get The Best Discount Right Here!

Recommended: Highly Recommended

Bonuses: YES, Huge Bonuses

Skill Level Required: All Levels

Discount Coupon: Use Code “RankNinja5” To Get $5 OFF!

Refund: YES, 30 Days Money-Back Guarantee

RankNinja Review: About Authors

Abhijit Saha created RankNinja, a cutting-edge tool that allows affiliate marketers to generate money in a matter of seconds. Abhijit has an extensive history in both marketing, product developer and technology, and he has used this knowledge to AI technology and software development, among other digital frontiers.

Abhijit Saha has a track record of successful ventures that demonstrate his ability to integrate cutting-edge innovation with innovative marketing strategies.

He has worked on several significant projects, including Vidintrux AI, Themes Ninja, EverHost AI, AzonNinja, BlogNinja, CB Ninja, WebCon, WebinarX, BookMaker Pro, Domainify, Designo Ai, MegaSuite Ai, SendPRO, AiPro, CloudzPro, Course Ally, CourseCreator, CourseMate, and many other.

RankNinja Review: Key Features of RankNinja

World’s First App Unlocks Google’s 14000 Leak Points & Literally Forces It to Rank Any Website High

Now Become Google’s Eye and Discover How Search Engine Giants Are Looking at Your Website’s Hidden Factors

Simplify Google’s Secret Ranking Parameters & Say Goodbye to Getting Low Ranks Forever

Get a Complete Overview into the Inner Workings of Google’s Search Engine

Provide RED HOT Website Ranking Services To Hungry Audience Globally In 3 Clicks

Easily Tap Into 2 Billion Website Owners Looking To Boost Website Ranks without Paying Much

Discover Latest Content Marketing Strategies That Deliver Unmatched Value While Complying With Search Engines Algos

Brand New, Patent Pending Technology Reveals Hidden Factors That Hold Your Website Back From Ranking High

Understand The Mechanisms behind Google’s Ranking Systems & Take a Leaf out Of This

Stop Paying HUGE Monthly to SEO Professionals & Third Parties Once In For All

Proprietary Tech Helps Join Thousands of Marketers Who’re Looking to Use This & Get Their Websites Ranked

Zero Installation Hassles, Zero Configuration & Zero Prior Tech Skills Needed

100% Easy To Use, Newbie Friendly Technology That’s Never Seen Before

RankNinja Review: How Does It Work?

Now, it’s Time to Turn Your Worries into Blessings in Just 3 EASY Steps (And There’s NO Huge Investment Or Time Needed)

Step #1: Login

To get started, login to this amazing technology before the price goes up beyond your imagination.

Step #2: Rank

Now, go ahead & unlock Google’s secret ranking parameters to rank any website with no third party dependency. Crazy part, you don’t need to be a techie or hire expensive SEO professionals for doing the same.

Step #3: Profit

BOOM, you’re all done now. Let RankNInja work its magic & you see a website getting high ranks like never before. (BONUS- Use limited time commercial license to offer these mind blowing services to hungry audience & charge again & again).

RankNinja Review: Benefits of RankNinja

Our Tech Makes It VERY EASY To Simplify Google’s Secret 14000 Ranking Factors

Get A Complete Overview Into The Inner Workings Of Google’s Search Engine

Simplify Google’s Secret Ranking Parameters & Get High Ranks Easily

Never Pay A Single Penny To Expensive SEO Professionals Or Third Party Platforms

Discover Latest Content Marketing Strategies That Deliver Unmatched Value

Commercial License Included To Create A New Income Stream Easily

Works Smoothly On Any Device Or Windows, MacOS, Linux, Chromebook

Discover Hidden Factors That Hold Your Website Back From Ranking High

Never Choose & Hire Expensive Freelancers

RankNinja Is All-In-One Platform So You Just Sit Back & Relax

30 Day Money Back Guarantee Included

RankNinja Review: Who Should Use It?

Artists/Content Creators

Affiliate Marketers

eCom Store Owners

Blog Owners

CPA Marketers

Video Marketers

Product Creators

Personal Brands

Freelancers

Any Many Others

RankNinja Review: OTO’s And Pricing

Add My Bundle Coupon Code “ADMINNINJA″ – For 30% Off Any Funnel OTO Below

Front End Price: RankNinja ($17)

OTO1: RankNinja Pro ($37)

OTO2: RankNinja Shield Pro ($47)

OTO3: RankNinja Unlimited ($47)

OTO4: RankNinja Enterprise ($37)

OTO5: RankNinja Agency ($97)

OTO6: RankNinja Reseller ($97)

OTO7: RankNinja Whitelabel ($197)

RankNinja Review: Money Back Guarantee

Our 30 Day Money Back Guarantee Has Got Your Back!

With the information & Resource, we created RankNinja to help our audience to Unlock Google’s 14000 Leak Points & Literally Rank Any Website High. If You are not 100% Satisfied With Rankninja on your first 30 Days Risk Free , We take it Back, Period!

As Nature of the Software is Highly Confidential & The Information is Revealed Instantly When the Access of the Software we can not provide a refund on general reasons. We give a 30 Days Product Trial Based Refund on any Technical issues if we don’t fix them. For more details refer our Refund Policy.

RankNinja Review: Pros and Cons

Pros:

Access to 14,000 Google API leak points providing some of the best SEO insights possible.

Eliminate recurring costs as you know the upfront for this cost.

Algorithm compliance is ensured by real time.

Easy interface for beginners.

Multiple websites supported and suited for agencies.

Cons:

Requires an internet connection.

Offline functionality unavailable.

Nothing wrong with it, it works perfectly!

My Own Customized Exclusive VIP Bonus Bundle

***How To Claim These Bonuses***

Step #1:

Complete your purchase of the RankNinja: My Special Unique Bonus Bundle will be visible on your access page as an Affiliate Bonus Button on WarriorPlus immediately after purchase. And before ending my honest RankNinja Review, I told you that I would give you my very own unique PFTSES formula for Free.

Step #2:

Send the proof of purchase to my e-mail “support@marketingprofitmedia.com” (Then I’ll manually Deliver it for you in 24 HOURS).

RankNinja Free Premium Bonuses

Bonus #1: Website Rank Health Checker

You can check your website’s health status within a minute, Make your site more SEO friendly. It will analyze all metrics of your website such as title, description, keyword, tag,  page size, page speed, server status, compression status, mobile-friendly status, image/CSS/javascript status, and many other important metrics of your website.

Bonus #2: Visitor Analytics & SEO Tools

The Most Complete Visitor Analytics & SEO package including visitor analytics (unique visitor, page view, bounce rate, average stay time, average visit, traffic analysis, top referrer, new & returning visitor, content overview, country & browser report, os & device report, etc.), web analytics (whois data, social media data, Moz check, search engine index, google page rank, IP analysis, malware check ), SEO tools (link analysis, keyword position analysis, auto keyword suggestion, page status check, etc.)

Bonus #3: RankNinja SEO Tools

RankNinja SEO Tools is a curated collection of 22 search engine optimization and marketing tools that deliver high-quality information with zero operational costs. Most of the tools are also local-first, giving you an immediate advantage over the competition.

Bonus #4: WordPress SEO

WordPress SEO is a beautifully simple automated SEO solution for WordPress. Start optimizing your website TODAY without the need to hire an SEO or understand code. Simply write good, relevant content and WordPress SEO will do the rest! WordPress SEO enables site-wide automatic Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) for your website.

Bonus #5: SEO External Links

Ensure both SEO and security for your website. It’s more powerful and feature-packed than ever, offering you a comprehensive solution for managing your site’s external links.

Bonus #6: Rank Video Content Generator WP Plugin

It allows you to generate high-quality video content, can create a blog post, and download video content. It is easy to use, flexible, and can be used with any WordPress website.

Bonus #7: SEO optimized content Elementor

This smart WordPress plugin allows you to generate pertinent and SEO optimized content powered by OpenAI GPT directly from the “Text Editor” module of Elementor Page Builder.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s)

Q. Do I need experience or tech/design skills to get started?

RankNinja was created keeping newbies in mind. So, it’s 100% newbie-friendly & requires no prior design or tech skills.

Q. Is RankNinja really an easy to use platform?

Built with WordPress, it is very Easy Technology. The biggest benefit is that you just need to follow 3 easy steps we’ve mentioned on the page after installing it, & be on the right track to uncover Google’s 14000 hidden factors & rank any website in 3 clicks without being a geek.

Q. Do you provide a money back guarantee?

Absolutely yes. We’ve already mentioned on the page that you’re getting a 30-day money back guarantee. Be rest assured, your investment is in safe hands.

Q. Is step-by-step training included?

YEAH- RankNinja comes with step-by-step video training that makes it simple, easy & guide you through the entire process with no turbulence.

Q. Do you provide any support?

Yes, we’re always on our toes to deliver you an unmatched experience. Drop us an email if you ever have any query, and we’ll be more than happy to help.

My Recommendation

RankNinja is a new outstanding, simple SEO tool, which removes the complexity of SEO, by using Google’s secret API leak points to provide superb results. Whatever your experience as a marketer, you can get a cheap and effective means of improving your site’s rankings with this software.

This is because RankNinja is with a one time pricing, automation capabilities and with proven success storeys must have a tool which helps you to master the SERPs. If you’re ready to amp up your SEO game, then you need to cheque this out!

>>> Click Here to Visit RankNinja and Get Access Now <<<

Check Out My Previous Reviews: VidPulse AI Review, AppGen AI Review, Email Millionaire Review, VoxCraftAI Studio Review, and VisualPal AI Review.

Thank for reading my RankNinja Review till the end. Hope it will help you to make purchase decision perfectly.