#the more i learn about him the worst it gets
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I've been thinking abt a poly!tf141 with a fem!reader who like is from the country side AND I'M CRACKING, OH LAWD!!!
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Task Force 141 had seen you kill a man from 700 meters away. They had seen you tear through enemy lines with the precision of a seasoned warrior, your movements deadly and efficient. But what they hadn't seen—what they couldn’t wrap their heads around—was the life you returned to after every mission.
Because while Ghost, Soap, Price, and Gaz spent their leave in safe houses, military bases, or the occasional urban apartment, you?
You went home.
To the countryside.
To your massive, luxurious farmhouse nestled in the hills of a quiet village, where the air smelled of fresh hay, wildflowers, and the occasional whiff of cow.
And when TF141 finally visited, they were not prepared.
The First Time They Saw the Farm : "What the fuck—" Ghost had been the first to say it when you pulled up to your estate in an old pickup truck, the gravel crunching beneath the tires as you parked in front of a sprawling wooden house with a red-tiled roof.
There were animals everywhere.
A massive black and white cow lazily chewed its cud near the wooden fence. Chickens and roosters strutted about like they owned the place. A gray donkey stared at them with judgmental eyes. Two ducks waddled past as if they were on a mission. Dogs barked excitedly at the sight of you, tails wagging. A cat lounged on the porch, stretching in the warm sun.
And then—a fucking horse trotted up to you, nuzzling into your palm like a puppy.
"Price," Gaz whispered. "She has a fucking farm."
"A fancy one at that," Soap muttered, still stunned.
"You lot gonna stand there all day?" You grinned, tossing your duffel bag over your shoulder. "Come on in. Dinner’s almost ready."
They were bewildered. They had spent years with you, fighting side by side, seeing you covered in blood, sweat, and gunpowder—and now you were leading them up the front porch of your cozy countryside mansion like a perfect little housewife.
And the worst part? They liked it.
You, The Deadly Soldier and The Perfect Housewife
Soap had expected you to relax on your leave. Maybe sleep in, drink some tea, read a book.
But no.
You were up at the crack of dawn, slipping out of bed before any of them could pull you back in, dressed in overalls and a white tank top, heading out to feed the animals like it was just another mission.
"Morning, sweetheart," Price murmured, leaning against the doorway as he watched you toss hay to the horses.
"Morning, Captain," you teased, kissing his scruffy cheek before moving on to collect eggs from the hens.
Ghost watched in silence, arms crossed, as you scolded a particularly feisty rooster. "You peck me one more time, and I swear to God, I’m making soup outta you."
Gaz almost choked on his coffee when you turned around and gave them the sweetest, most innocent smile.
"You boys want breakfast?"
Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting at a massive wooden table in your warm, sunlit kitchen, eating fresh farm eggs, homemade bread, and smoked bacon.
And Soap was ready to propose.
Domesticity With a Side of Chaos
Price: Loves sitting on the porch with a cigar, watching you work. He helps with repairs, fixes fences, and absolutely adores the peacefulness of your home.
Ghost: The animals are terrified of him at first (except the donkey—the donkey hates him). But the barn cats adopt him, curling up in his lap whenever he sits down.
Soap: Thinks farm life is the best thing ever. He learns how to milk a cow, names every single chicken, and gets way too attached to a piglet.
Gaz: "Babe, I love you, but this rooster is evil." (He got chased one too many times.)
And at night?
After a long day of farm work, you slip into something soft and lacy, curl up in their arms, and remind them that you’re not just a soldier, not just a farmer—you’re theirs.
They Never Want to Leave
By the end of their stay, not a single one of them wants to go back.
"You sure we have to leave?" Soap pouts, feeding the ducks.
"Darlin’," Price murmurs against your neck one night, arms wrapped around you in bed, "Ever thought about retirin’ here? With us?"
Ghost doesn’t say it out loud, but when he watches you laugh, your hands covered in flour as you bake bread, he knows he never wants to be anywhere else.
And Gaz?
He just sighs, watching the sunset over the hills. "I never thought I’d say this, but…I think I’m in love with farm life."
They were all in love. With you. With this. With the life they could have, if only they stayed.
Maybe one day.
For now, they’d enjoy every stolen moment in their countsyde paradise. But what if we make thing spicy ? A little bit, at least.
Ghost Was The First To Break
Ghost had held strong. Longer than the others.
While Soap got weak-kneed watching you bend over to pick up hay, and while Gaz couldn’t stop staring at your thighs in those tiny denim shorts, Ghost had kept his cool.
Until that damn sundress.
White. Light. Flowy. Just enough fabric to tempt, but never satisfy—clinging to your curves, slipping off your shoulders as you carried a bucket of water to the horses.
He had been cleaning his rifle on the porch, but his grip tightened the moment he saw the fabric sway with your every step.
And then?
You had the audacity to look over your shoulder and wink at him.
He dropped the rifle.
Soap Lost It In The Barn
Soap had always been shameless about his attraction to you.
But you?
You were even worse.
It was an accident—(was it?)—when you walked into the barn one night, looking for something. The others were inside, drinking whiskey in the house, but Soap had been alone, brushing down one of your horses.
And then he saw you.
Wet.
Covered in rain.
Your thin white blouse clung to you, completely see-through, nipples pebbled against the fabric.
"Lass," he had rasped, watching as you closed the barn door behind you, stepping forward, voice all honeyed and sweet.
"Johnny," you had purred, voice dripping with something that wasn’t innocence, "I’m cold."
He snapped.
The horse had seen things that night.
Price Was The Most Dangerous
Price was a man of control.
A man of restraint.
A man who knew how to bide his time.
But you?
You tested him.
You liked to push. You liked to see how far you could go before he gave in.
And God help you—you found his limit.
It was late. The others were asleep. You were making tea in the kitchen, standing on your tiptoes to reach a mug from the top shelf.
Price had walked in just as your nightgown slipped up your thighs.
It wasn’t fair.
The soft, white cotton. The little lace trim. The way your bare legs looked so smooth, so inviting—and the sleepy way you turned, so unaware of what you were doing to him.
You looked up at him, mug in hand, and smiled. "You want some tea, Cap?"
And then—his hands were on your hips.
Voice rough.
"You know damn well what I want, sweetheart."
Gaz Had It The Worst
Gaz?
Gaz was a goner the first time he saw you in nothing but boots and his shirt.
You had come in from the field soaked in sweat, hair messy, thighs speckled with dirt. You had tossed your muddy clothes into the laundry room, grabbed his green tactical shirt, and walked around the house like it wasn’t driving him insane.
"Babe," he groaned, rubbing a hand down his face, watching you stretch, the hem of his shirt riding up to dangerous levels.
You blinked. All innocent. "What’s wrong?"
Gaz was a patient man. A respectful man. A man who was about to lose his goddamn mind.
"Come here."
You smirked, walking over slowly, pressing your hands to his chest.
"You’re so easy to rile up," you giggled.
His hand wrapped around your throat.
"And you’re about to learn what happens when you push too far."
#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod#cod x reader#cod x you#cod x y/n#cod mw3#cod mw2#cod oc#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare#modern warfare#simon ghost riley x reader#taskforce 141#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon x reader#simon riley#gaz x reader#task force 141#captain price#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#poly tf141#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 headcanons#tf 141 x you
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So this is 5k words. Didn't mean for that to happen. This is for BuckTommy Fluffebruary Day Sixteen: Didn't Know They Were Dating AU. This is the one fill that doesn't take place in the same timeline as my other fills and is set in some nebulous period between 405 and 409. So Buck knows about Daniel. Jes-Yun isn't born yet. You can also read this on AO3 here. Tagging @bucktommyfluffebruary
They meet one night when Maddie is asked to cover a shift at the last minute and Chimney begs Buck to step in for a karaoke trivia thing he'd been invited to. When he arrives at the bar, Chimney is sitting with two big guys at a table. One of the guys introduces himself as Sal, and he seems cool enough. The other guy is Tommy, and he's definitely really cool.
“My girlfriend's brother is stepping in for her,” Chimney explains.
“H-hey,” Buck says, waving awkwardly. “I'm Evan. Buck. Evan Buckley.”
It's the least smooth way he's ever introduced himself in his adult life, but he keeps wondering what the hell Tommy's diet and exercise routine is. The guy is massive. He's so warm, though, when he shakes Buck's hand. Literally, because his hands are radiating heat, but he also smiles with his whole face instead of just a polite tilt of his mouth. Buck finds himself smiling back and ducking his head when Tommy lets his hand go.
“Wasn't your girlfriend the secret karaoke weapon?” Sal asks.
“Yeah, but this guy's the secret trivia weapon,” Chimney says, clapping Buck on the shoulder. “You said science and history always gets you, right? Here's your solution.”
Buck flushes and shrugs when Tommy's eyes sweep over him. “I hope I can help.”
He settles in for a night of karaoke trivia, and he's not much help on the pop culture stuff. But there's an entire series of questions themed around popular animals at the LA Zoo, and Buck gets all of them. As he answers, Tommy's blue eyes stay on him, and Buck finds himself answering with more and more confidence. When Celestial Bodies turns out to be the next category, he's quick to answer everything he knows instead of waiting politely for everyone else in the group.
By the end, the Worst Responders (Sal’s idea) win the night, and they sit with a pitcher of beer, their pride, and a Visa gift card each. When Chimney goes to take a call from Maddie and Sal gets up to use the bathroom, Buck suddenly doesn't know what to say to Tommy.
“That was pretty amazing, Evan,” Timmy says, raising his glass.
Buck opens his mouth to correct him, but instead he clinks their glasses and says, “Not so bad yourself, Tommy.”
Tommy's eyes dip as they both take long drinks of their beer, and Buck hopes he doesn't have something on his chin. He wipes it with the back of his hand just to be on the safe side.
“Man, I can't believe you can fly,” Buck says, settling back into his chair. “That's so cool.”
“Well,” Tommy says, the corner of his mouth lifting in a half-smile, “I need the aircraft to fly.”
Buck makes a face at him. “Yeah, I know, but it's amazing. I always wanted to learn. When I was traveling, I'd end up on these tiny planes sometimes and always thought it would be fun.”
“I could maybe show you a few things,” Tommy says, resting his elbows on the table. “My rates are pretty competitive.”
Buck’s reply is cut off by Chimney plopping down next to him.
“Heard a girl talking about you,” Chimney says, nudging Buck and nodding back toward the bar.
He glances but doesn’t really see anyone specifically looking at him. He figures she’ll find him if she’s really interested. His focus goes back to Tommy, who is sliding a coaster around under his finger and smiling to himself a bit, but he doesn’t look all that happy. Instead, he’s just sort of…resigned.
“How competitive?” Buck asks, and Tommy blinks at him.
Tommy looks between Chimney, Buck, and something behind Buck before his eyes settle back on him. “We can figure something out. Honestly, I don’t usually charge friends. Except Sal.”
“For what?” Chimney asks, frowning at his phone screen.
“Thought I might take up flying,” Buck says, shrugging.
Chimney snorts. “Yeah. That’ll last. This kid’s got more hobbies than anyone I’ve ever met. Dude, I think someone stole my credit card number again. Hold up, I gotta call my bank.”
He disappears again, and Buck looks over his shoulder to see Sal is talking to a pretty girl at the bar, and she glances at Buck. When she sees him looking, she smiles shyly before looking back at Sal. If she’s the girl Chimney was talking about, she is pretty cute.
“I don’t have a lot of hobbies,” Buck says, turning his attention back to Tommy. “Well, kind of. I have a lot of interests, I guess. Which, yeah, is kinda weird, but I like the idea of flying. So I would absolutely be down to learn, and I’d be happy to pay for the fuel or your time or whatever. It’s like learning a superpower.”
Tommy smiles and slides his phone over. “Go ahead and put your number in.”
Buck does, noticing that the contact name is already filled in as ‘Evan,’ and he doesn’t bother correcting that either.
By the time they all leave, Buck has Tommy’s number in his own phone and realizes he forgot to get the girl’s number.
–
Flying is so cool, but Buck thinks Tommy might be a maniac. He’ll do maneuvers that don’t feel like they should be physically possible, and then he laughs over the headset. It’s terrifying and amazing, and Buck is flushed and breathless by the time they land on the tarmac at Harbor Station.
“That was awesome!” he says. “Okay, yeah, I owe you a beer. A dozen beers.”
Tommy takes off the headset and smiles. “How about dinner?”
Buck smiles back, though he feels like he’s still trying to catch his breath. “Yeah, okay. I could do dinner.”
–
Micelli’s is nice, and they’ve apparently got good beer and good food. Buck finds out that Tommy’s half Italian on his mom’s side, which explains a lot about his looks. His nose is so regal from the side, and Buck’s found his eyes tracing its shape more than once. His mom was first generation, so Tommy was practically raised by a bunch of older Italian women and his grandfather until he was in high school.
“So when you say the food here is good, you know what you’re talking about,” Buck concludes, and Tommy nods. “Alright, I believe you.”
“What about your family?” Tommy asks, and Buck shrugs. “You don’t have to answer that.”
“No, they’re…fine,” Buck says, shrugging again. He still feels raw when he thinks about his parents. “They’re, uh, back in Pennsylvania. Except Maddie. I think we’re British? Just sort of, uh, WASP-y? But I don’t really know a lot about my family.”
Hell, he knew even less than he ever realized.
“I don’t know a lot about my dad’s family,” Tommy says, and it feels like he understands based on the way he says it. It loosens some of the anxiety that had been building in Buck’s chest. “Scottish, Irish? Something like that. But I never looked too hard. Italians, though, you’d be hard-pressed to find a family that doesn’t want every generation to know every story and legend and the name of every town everyone was ever born in.”
“Family recipes?”
Tommy snorts. “I have a box of them. I’ve been trying to transcribe them just in case something ever happens to them, but there’s so many.”
Buck shrugs. “I could help.”
“Yeah?” Tommy looks surprised at his offer.
“Yeah, I’m kinda good at that kind of stuff,” he admits. “Plus, hey, I wouldn’t say no to learning some new recipes. I feel like I’m finally really getting the hang of cooking. Maybe I can even teach Bobby a thing or two.”
They start talking about the 118, and Buck is surprised at just how different it used to be. From the sound of it, Tommy was really different. Sal, too. And then Tommy felt like he was able to get a new start at Harbor.
“I just didn’t want to die in a closet, you know?” he says, and Buck tries to parse what that could mean. “I wasn’t out at the 118. Everyone thought I was straight until, I don’t know, my last month there? I finally told them right after my transfer went through.”
Buck blinks, realizing he’d somehow totally missed that Tommy’s gay. He realizes his silence could be taken for discomfort and panics. “Th-that’s great! I’m glad you were able to do that. It’s hard. It’s a hard thing to go through.”
“Yeah,” Tommy agrees, smiling softly. “Well, it’s actually just…freeing. Once you get past actually saying the words.”
“That sounds amazing,” Buck says, sighing. It does. The idea of feeling free has always felt like something he’s been looking for. Being at the 118 is the closest thing he’s ever found to that, but he wonders if it feels the same.
Tommy hesitates and starts to say something, but then their server arrives to take their food orders. Buck forgets to ask him what he was going to say, because he starts second-guessing what he was going to order and leans across to ask Tommy about one of the dishes. When Tommy leans in to look at where Buck’s pointing on the menu, his forearm presses against Buck’s and radiates heat the same way his hand did when they met, the same way his whole body did when he'd hugged Buck after their flight and when they met outside the restaurant. He wonders if it's a natural thing for him or if it's his muscle mass that does it.
“So you do like mushrooms?” Tommy asks, and Buck nods. “Yeah, you'll love that, then. But save room for dessert.”
“Okay,” Buck says, unable to keep himself from ducking his head and smiling as Tommy confirms with the server that Buck is getting whatever the hell it was Tommy had pointed to. He hadn't been paying attention.
–
He loves Tommy’s house. It’s got books and movies and records crammed into every available shelf in the living room, and there are cool old tiles in the kitchen and bathrooms that Tommy’s never going to touch even when he updates the rooms.
“Kitchen’s next, but I did a lot of the hard work with the electrical and plumbing already,” Tommy explains. He goes to a cabinet above his fridge and reaches in for an old cigar box. When he stretches for it, his shirt rides up and Buck blinks at the strip of skin that’s exposed. He suddenly feels guilty for staring and forces himself to look at the view of Tommy’s backyard from the window above the sink. “Here they are.”
Tommy sets the box on the counter and flips it open. Inside are old recipe cards, torn out recipes from magazines and ads, swooping writing on yellowed paper, and what looks to be more than one recipe torn out of cookbooks.
They’re killing time before a movie that’s playing at the theater by Tommy’s place, but Buck wants to dive into the recipes and figure out what it was that his family liked or what was important to them, what they held onto across generations, and which ones made little Tommy love desserts so much.
“Can you tell who wrote them?” he asks, carefully turning over a recipe card for some kind of soup made with lentils and sausage.
“Some of them,” Tommy says, leaning over and looking at the card he’s holding. “That was Prozia Camilla, I think. She always wrote her Bs really weird.”
“What’s that?” Buck asks, looking over at Tommy. He realizes he’s close, but it’s not making him uncomfortable. He feels a little warm, but it’s not from discomfort or embarrassment. The heat might be on in the house, or it's just Tommy being a human space heater. “Aunt?”
“Great-aunt,” Tommy clarifies. “Aunt is zia, uncle is zio—pretty easy. Nonna, Nonno–grandma, grandpa. Cugina, cugino–cousin, female or male. You add pro for great-aunts and -uncles, bis for great-grandparents. There’s one that’s in a baggy from Bisnonna Valia, I think she wrote it down when Mussolini was in power.”
Buck carefully picks through the box until he finds it, and he doesn’t take it out. He does inspect it, though. The paper is translucent and faded, the ink a brown-ish color. “What’s it for?”
“Canestrelli. It’s kind of like a shortbread cookie.”
He likes how Tommy says the words in Italian, the way his mouth shapes the vowels and kind of rolls the Rs but not really, the syllables he emphasizes a little differently than the way Buck probably would if he read the word from a page. He’d asked Tommy if he spoke Italian, and he sort of did. He mostly just understood it, but he sounded like he knew it whenever he said any of the words.
“These are amazing,” Buck says softly, rubbing his thumb along the edge of the paper inside its protective plastic. “Is it weird that I wish I knew them? All the people who wrote these down.”
When he glances at Tommy, Tommy’s looking at him and not at the recipe anymore. “No,” Tommy replies softly. “I don’t think that’s weird at all. They would’ve loved you.”
Buck grins. “Really?”
“Definitely.”
He flushes happily at the thought, even if Tommy’s just being nice. When he sets the recipe back in the box, the alarm on Tommy’s phone goes off.
“I kind of want to just look at these,” Buck admits. “But you said the movie’s really good.”
“Evan, it’s Casablanca,” Tommy says dryly. “It’s literally one of the greatest movies ever made.”
“Well, then I guess we have to go,” Buck teases, closing the box and handing it over to him.
When Tommy puts the box back, Buck’s eyes dip to his ass this time. It’s really a work of art. He wonders what kind of squats he does.
–
Buck’s a mess.
“You didn’t tell me it would be sad,” he moans as he snacks on the last of his popcorn on the way to Tommy’s truck. He’d driven, because it was easier than trying to find parking for two cars near the theater.
“A lot of the best romance movies are,” Tommy says. “But I don’t think it’s that sad. He loves her, and he knows she’s going to be happy. It’s not like Ghost or Moulin Rouge or Brokeback Mountain or anything.”
“I’ve never seen those,” Buck admits. “How can it get any sadder?”
“I mean, one of them could’ve died.”
Buck sighs. “Yeah, I guess. But—can you imagine finding the person who makes you feel like that and having to watch them walk away with someone else? People don’t realize how awful it feels to just be left behind.”
He realizes he’s projecting a lot onto a movie that’s eighty years old, but it does suck. Buck would know.
“Sometimes you just want to be the one people will stick around for,” he mumbles.
Tommy bumps their shoulders together gently as they walk. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Buck smiles and bumps his shoulder back. “You say that now.”
“I can’t imagine wanting to leave you behind if I could help it, Evan.”
The way he says it makes Buck’s heart thud in his chest, and for a moment he’s worried about another blood clot. He looks over at Tommy, who’s looking at him, and he smiles.
“Thanks,” he says softly.
Tommy puts an arm around his shoulder and squeezes him close for a moment before they get to the truck. Buck gets into the passenger seat and considers the few kernels of popcorn left. He wonders what Tommy’s favorite happy romance movie is and what it’s like, what he likes about it and the characters, if he identifies more with one than the other.
“So that’s the best romance movie?” he asks instead.
“I mean, that’s subjective, right?” Tommy says, turning on the truck and pulling away from the curb. “I think it’s pretty close to being the most objectively perfect one, yeah.”
“Is it your favorite?”
Tommy considers the question for a moment. “It's up there. It changes, honestly. I really like Love, Actually, but Princess Bride and Moonstruck are amazing, too. Casablanca is pretty perfect, though.”
“Thank you for inviting me,” Buck says, smiling. “I did like it. It just, y’know, made me a little sad. Also, I didn’t realize that whole ‘Here’s looking at you, kid’ thing was a reference. I’ve heard so many people say that and thought it was some idiom I never learned.”
Tommy snorts and shakes his head. “I swear, I will expand your knowledge of movies.”
Buck normally doesn’t really care. He doesn’t have the same attachment to movies that a lot of his friends have, but he likes Tommy showing him things. The flying, the restaurant, the recipe box, the movie—maybe Muay Thai? He knows Eddie does it. Buck’s never really had an interest in it, but Tommy had offered to teach him and Buck had twirled his pasta around his fork and said he’d be interested because nothing sounded cooler. Now that he’s seen the set-up in Tommy’s garage, it would be kind of awesome to have one-on-one lessons and then go inside to make old family recipes.
He looks over at Tommy as he drives, and he notes that Tommy seems as at ease behind a wheel as he is doing anything else. He had also seen the car lift in Tommy’s garage, currently empty but awaiting a Chevelle he’d had his eye on that needed work, and he wonders if he’s always liked cars.
As he watches, he also realizes that Tommy’s side profile is pretty perfect. It’s not just the nose, it’s his entire face. Tommy’s a really handsome guy.
“Evan?” Tommy asks, sounding amused.
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay?”
Buck slides down in his seat a little, feeling caught out for some reason. “Yeah. Sorry.”
Tommy slows to a stop at the light and looks over at Buck. He smiles and squeezes Buck’s wrist briefly, his huge hand almost engulfing it. He doesn’t understand how someone his height can be so big. With his free hand, he reaches over and picks up Tommy’s hand, manipulating the digits until they’re flat, and he presses their hands together to compare the size. Buck’s never met someone with bigger hands than his who wasn’t at least six and a half feet tall, but Tommy’s fingers stretch a little further, his palm is a little broader.
Then Tommy turns his palm just a little and curls his fingers until they’re between Buck’s, and Buck curls his fingers, too. He smiles and looks up at Tommy, who’s looking at him intently. It makes Buck’s heart pound again.
A car honks, and Tommy startles a little. He laughs to himself as he continues driving toward his house, both hands back on the wheel, and Buck feels his hand close around nothing, feeling empty.
–
Tommy is walking him to his car, even though it’s parked right in front of his house. They’re talking about the next series of movies the theater is showing—old noir stuff, some of which Tommy’s never even seen.
“That could be cool,” Buck says, putting his hands in his jacket pocket so he won’t reach for Tommy’s hand again. It would be weird. “We can see when our shifts line up.”
“They do them all in two month blocks,” Tommy explains wryly. “So that’s going to be a lot of calendar checking.”
“We can always share them to each other,” Buck points out. “Figure out other days we can do stuff.”
Tommy’s eyes look between Buck’s, down to his chin, and back at his eyes again. “Like what?”
Buck smiles and shrugs. “Anything. I mean, we’re kind of the perfect bar trivia partners. We can go around town and hustle all of them out of their gift cards and small cash prizes. But I really do want to help you with the recipe thing. You really think your family would’ve liked me?”
“Evan, do you have any idea how likeable you are?” Tommy asks, leaning his shoulder against Buck’s door.
“Hey, you’re pretty likeable yourself,” Buck says shyly. “You’re kind of the coolest person I’ve ever—”
He doesn’t get to finish, because there are two fingers under his chin and a pair of lips on his. For a moment, he freezes, because Tommy is kissing him. That should be weird. He’s never had a male friend kiss him on the lips unless it was during Spin the Bottle or under mistletoe, and those were always pecks or done with some reluctance on their part. But he can feel Tommy start to pull away and wants anything but that, so he brings his hand up to Tommy’s shoulder and keeps him there while Buck kisses back.
Tommy’s lips are soft, though his stubble is a little scratchy, but Buck doesn’t mind it. He really doesn’t mind it.
“Was that okay?” Tommy whispers when he does finally pull back.
Buck nods and his eyes drop to Tommy’s lips, which don’t look any different than they did a minute ago, but now he knows how they feel against his. He still has a hand on Tommy’s shoulder and brings his other one up to cup his jaw to keep him still when Buck goes in for another kiss.
It feels better than okay. It feels like a real first—well, second now—kiss. He feels like an alarm bell should be going off somewhere in his head, but all he’s getting is a need to feel more of him, to taste more of him.
They’re kind of making out against Buck’s Jeep, and Buck is definitely going to need to talk to Hen about this. If he likes kissing a guy just as much as he’s liked kissing a girl—hell, more than he’s liked kissing some girls—what does that mean?
Tommy pulls away again and presses their foreheads together. They’re both breathing hard, and Buck wonders if Tommy will ask him to come inside.
“I meant to take this a lot slower,” Tommy says. “You seemed…new. I know Howie doesn’t know, but does anyone?”
Buck wonders if he’d missed something in their conversation. “Know what?”
“That you’re—” he gestures between them. Then he pulls back more and searches Buck’s face. “You are, aren’t you?”
“What?” he asks again, feeling very slow. He doesn’t love the feeling, but he's also still really stuck on the feeling of Tommy's lips.
“Wait, are you?”
“Oh, my god, Tommy, am I what?” he asks, laughing.
“Into guys?”
Buck blinks. “I don’t—I’ve never really thought about it?”
Except for that one time in Texas, but he knew that he came off as flirty sometimes when he didn’t mean to. That hadn’t been TK’s fault. Hell, TK was gorgeous and a really good firefighter, and—oh.
“Oh,” Buck says, raising his eyebrows. “Huh.”
“Are you okay?” Tommy asks, searching Buck’s face for something. He’s not touching Buck anymore, which kind of sucks.
“Yeah.” He looks at Tommy and smiles. “Yeah, I’m great.”
He is. He really is. It’s a little bit of a shock, but he’s pretty sure he’ll be fine. Well, he might need to talk to Hen and Maddie and Bobby.
Then it hits him—Tommy walked him to his car. While the sun was up. In a good neighborhood. After the movies. He’d done the same thing after Micelli’s, after they’d flown, and he’d hugged Buck every time. It had felt good and warm and safe. But Tommy always walked him to his car.
“We were just on a date, weren’t we?” Buck says slowly, then counts. “Like, our third one. Wait, did you take me flying for our first date?”
“I thought I did,” Tommy says, his brows raised. “Did you really have no idea that I was asking you out?”
Okay, yeah, Tommy had said they should go out sometime before they’d left the bar the night they’d met, and Buck had agreed and Tommy had grinned. It had been really distracting.
“Huh,” he says again. “Wait, you waited until our third date to kiss me?”
“I thought you needed me to take it slow,” Tommy says, leaning his elbows on the hood and burying his face in his hands. “I thought you were new to this.”
“I mean, I am,” Buck points out. The way Tommy’s leaning makes his ass pop out a little, and his jeans are tight enough that they definitely qualify as date jeans. “Maybe not that new, actually. It’s normal to check out a hot guy’s ass, right?”
Tommy looks at him incredulously. “Evan, how would I know what straight guys do? I’m a Kinsey six.”
“Right,” Buck realizes, though he’s still not clear on the second part. “What’s a Kinsey six?”
“It’s a scale for sexuality. I’ve never actually been attracted to any women.”
Buck frowns. “Really?”
He’s found a lot of guys attractive, because that was just a thing Buck could see as a person with eyes. Hell, one of the first things he thought about Connor was that he had a killer smile. Then he had followed him to Los Angeles. From Peru.
“Oh,” he realizes, pulling out his phone and looking up ‘Kinsey.’ “Two? I don’t know, actually. I’ll have to think about it.”
Tommy huffs out a laugh. “You’re not, I don’t know, mad?”
Buck frowns and puts his phone back in his pocket. “Why would I be mad?”
“A lot of guys get mad when another guy kisses them if they weren’t really expecting it.”
“That doesn’t make sense. You can just tell someone you’re not interested.” His eyes flick down to Tommy’s mouth. “Or figure out that you are.”
“Are you sure—”
“You should come over so I can cook you dinner,” Buck says, suddenly wanting nothing more than to see Tommy in his loft and at his table. In his bed? Yeah, probably. “Saturday?”
Tommy smiles. “You mean tomorrow?”
Buck thinks about it. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”
When Tommy kisses him again, Buck wraps his arm around his shoulders and spreads his hand over Tommy’s side. Tommy moans softly against his mouth, and Buck’s lips part further so he can tease his tongue against Tommy’s lips.
“Jesus, kid,” Tommy breathes when the kiss breaks, and it sends a bolt of heat through Buck’s belly. So, yeah, definitely guys. Guys are good. At least one is.
Buck’s phone goes off, and he reluctantly checks it. Maddie’s due pretty soon, so he can’t ignore his phone just in case it’s her.
It is, and Buck answers quickly.
“Maddie?” he says before mouthing an apology to Tommy. “Are you okay? Is the baby—”
“Buck,” she says. “Are you still coming over for dinner?”
Oh, right. The reason they’d done the matinee show for the movie. Buck’s supposed to be having a sibling dinner with his sister. He’s now late for it and feels like a dick.
“I am so sorry, I forgot. I’ll be there in twenty, twenty-five minutes? Do you need me to get anything on the way?”
“If you could get me enough garlic bread to fill your car, I’d be so happy.”
Buck snorts. “I can get some. Maybe not that much. But I’ll stop, just turn the oven on. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay!” she says brightly. “Bye.”
“Bye,” he says, hanging up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what time it was, and I did actually forget. I got, uh, distracted.”
Tommy smirks. “‘Distracted’?”
Buck swallows and nods, his eyes going to Tommy’s lips again. “Yeah.”
“God, you’re adorable.”
He’s never had a guy call him that before. He likes it.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tommy says. “When do you want me over?”
“S-six?” Buck says, feeling himself sway toward Tommy like they’ve got magnets in their mouths. “Five. You start early on Sunday, right?”
“So do you,” Tommy points out.
“Oh, yeah,” Buck says dumbly. He goes in for another kiss, but it’s quick. Tommy pushes him back gently with a hand to his chest and nudges their noses together briefly before stepping away. “Bye.”
“Bye, Evan,” Tommy says, smiling and going toward his house.
Buck fumbles with his keys before he finally unlocks the Jeep, and he watches Tommy until he goes inside. It’s a thing he’s always done on dates. When Tommy waves before heading inside, Buck waves for a long time until the door is closed.
“Fuck, okay, garlic bread,” he says, turning the Jeep on. He grins the entire way to the store.
While he walks through Ralph’s, he also looks for stuff to use for the dinner he’s going to make for Tommy. On their date. Their fourth date.
Buck knows he’s standing in the middle of the baking ingredients aisle and smiling at his phone like an idiot. He knows that he’s going to spend half of his Saturday trying to perfect some kind of dessert. He knows he can’t wait to see Tommy and that he’s felt that way every time he’s seen him since they met.
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I need to know how people are gonna react to finding out about Percy’s mortal spot 🫠
im ngl, i genuinely believed putting the mortal spot on THE BACK is probably THEEEEE DUMBEST fucking thing ever 😭 ur back is literally your most vulnerable spot and now she just made it 100000x more vulnerable 😭 i'm almost certain rick wrote it that way for poetic reasons cuz percy's fatal flaw is loyalty, mortal spot on the back, hence "the only way you can kill percy jackson is to stab her in the back" 💀 yes yes, very poetic, but i don't think the ror characters will appreciate it 😭
(gonna try and fit as many reactions here as i can, excluding beel and loki since they already know)
cú chulainn: this dude is a trained warrior. he knows everything about weaknesses and blindspots. and the back????? IS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST BLIND SPOT THERE IS. he'll be screaming and ripping out his own hair in pure horror and disbelief when he finds out his dumbass lover put HER ONE MORTAL SPOT on her fucking BACK of all the goddamn places 😭
apollo: he's gonna throw up when he finds out and then he's gonna throw up even more when he learns that the LAST PERSON to have the curse of achilles was killed by HIS COUNTERPART. he prays to every deity and the fates that they won't be cruel enough to repeat that with them because he CANNOT lose percy 😭😭😭😭
poseidon: his jaw drops. he looks like a complete idiot all gobsmacked like this, but nobody even blames him because they're also just as shocked. he has half a mind to spank his daughter for her terrible idea, not just for the replacement of the mortal spot, but for getting that damn curse in the first place. at first, he liked it because it made her 99.99% invulnerable but that fucking mortal spot just ruined it 💀💀💀
hades: buries his face in his hands and lets out the heaviest sigh ever. he loves his niece, he really does, but he has to admit... she's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. he loves her so much though so he won't be TOO disappointed 💖
anubis: "BABY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he's screeching in horror when he witnesses the scene. welp, now he knows how she got the curse, but holy SHIT this is probably the worst curse ever (it's really not). he's literally gonna be begging her to stop when it comes up on the screen, but it's already too late
ra: USUALLY he would be busy restraining anubis from doing something stupid, but he's too busy gawking. percy was literally told that her fatal flaw was LOYALTY.... and then she goes and picks HER BACK as her one mortal spot???? "omfg the poseidon in that universe taught that child NOTHING"
rhea: "WE 👹 MUST 👹 GET 👹 HER 👹 OUT 👹 OF 👹 THAT 👹 UNIVERSE 👹 BEFORE SHE GETS HERSELF KILLED" no seriously, grandma rhea is WORRIED. if she were a human, she'd have 1000 heart attacks and her hair would've turned grey already. this baby is stressing her the FUCK out 😭
prometheus: would literally cry 😭😭😭 like "percy... my dear baby cousin, your back??????? WHY?????" 😭😭😭😭 he's usually very supportive of her ideas, even the most craziest ones, but..... the back???????????
izanagi: "oh bless her heart, she's trying her best 🥺💔"
sun wukong: does a very slow facepalm as he sinks into his throne because oh my gods this girl is FUCKED. he has never seen a more doomed person before in all his years of living 😭
aphrodite: "wait does this make sex harder??? should i have her try other positions instead? 🤔" (she's asking the real questions here)
lugh: gently grasps cú chulainn's shoulders and say solemnly, "son, i think the universe really hates you 😔💔" because this is the SECOND PERSON that cú chulainn cares about to have some sort of near-invulnerability. the first died thx to him, and now percy might follow 😭
odin: a little concerned at how similar she is to his baldur. pure-hearted and kind, a genuinely good person, with a near invulnerability. he hopes, for loki's sanity, that percy doesn't die too because the crashout would be catastrophic fr 💀
adam: absolutely HORRIFIED because she picked literally the worst spot on her body to be her mortal spot 😭
leonidas: "how tf is this kid alive right now 💀"
tesla: so it turns out it's not just math and science that he needs to teach her, but basic self-preservation as well! alrighty then, he's already getting the lesson plans ready as well as a VERY long lecture about poor decision-making skills 😭
basically, every ror character's reaction to percy getting the curse of achilles and choosing her back as her one mortal spot:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/97ecd1da87aeb0384148a8cfd443d62b/2315b47a78547952-0a/s540x810/0546716225bdf10351ed13203c9cdee9a949ed6c.jpg)
EVERYONE is horrified 💀
percy literally has so much stacked against her. everyone and everything in that universe is out to get her. she's the product of a broken vow. she's a demigod, so naturally monsters hunt her down on the daily. she has a cursed fucking sword that's cursed to fail her when she needs it most. her fatal flaw is loyalty. and then she goes and puts her mortal spot on her BACK 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 not only that, but the fates of that universe love love LOVE greek tragedy and percy is a walking greek tragedy waiting to for the curtain call 😭
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TO LOVE AND HATE, ENDLESSLY
Synopsis: You and your twin sister (MC) have been spending time with your parents. They decide it would be fun for you guys to play dress up and guess who is who. Caleb ends up joining in to your dismay.
No warnings are needed other than a bit of swearing, lol.
Side note: tried to use some pilot terms, but I might've failed lmao.
Taglist: @justpassingdontworry @macaronnya @itsmekalou @caramelizedpopcirn @xiaorixx
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a7a382f8a1e568726950745eb4032e07/e25a9b44f4628f90-59/s540x810/e2c4b00db5df9713176491e02c8f062fb2feb49c.jpg)
You are your own worst enemy. Not that you'd ever have expected that. It's been two weeks since your mirror reflection has come back into your family's life, and while you're happy for your parents, a part of you wishes you ate her in the womb.
Her eyes crinkle in the same way yours does, a smile a little lopsided. When she gets nervous, she plays with her fingers as if doing so will make a spell to banish away her fear. Just like you.
The first fear you've ever faced was your own reflection, so now you've learned to put two fists up to face your inner demons. You try bonding with her. Asking her about her childhood.
She tells you about how she grew up with her amazing childhood friend Caleb. Told you how he was almost like a brother to her. Almost, but not quite. Her eyes stir with a muted desire that matches your own when you look into his beautiful purple irises. She doesn't acknowledge this. Neither do you.
Shadowboxing is not an art you are unfamiliar with. For you were your first enemy. And you will be your last. Until you break bread with the parts of you that your heart has never understood; You will break bones and wreak havoc on your own psyched up psyche till nothing but the two of you are left breathless yet still attached.
Yet you still choose not to face him. Not until you're forced to.
Your parents have decided to take some time to do all the things they've always wanted to do with both of you but never could. And this time, you two were playing dress up.
Due to the fact that your hair was long (even though you've been thinking of cutting it recently,) you both sported the same bun with a pretty extravagant dress. How your parents got them, you'll never know.
"My goodness, you two are identical!"
Your sister laughs at this comment and turns towards you. "I've always felt like there was a part of me missing. At least I know it wasn't because my heart went dumb."
You want to feel warmth in your chest. You want to feel sorry for your dear twin who suffers from a heart condition after you lost her. You want to love her. Yet your fists are still up, and your heart is hidden on your sleeve.
And to think you're feeling this way all because of a damn man.
There's a ring at the doorbell, the two of you had changed again to match into some more casual clothes. Your mom excitedly goes to open the door. You pay no mind as you look at your sister and smooth out her hair that looked a little frazzled.
She looks at you intently, shocked by the sheer awe of looking at yourself outside of your body yet still within yourself.
She knows you're not all too happy to see her. And she has a feeling she knows why.
"Girls," your mom calls excitedly. "Guess who's here!"
You both look to the entrance of the living room, and your stomach does flip when you see who is standing there. His frame large against the small door. His eyes, some what in awe.
Not for you, of course, never for you.
"Caleb, dear, would you like to play a little game with us?" Your mom asks with a clap of excitement.
"Guess who is who between the two of them."
"We've got 3 out of the 6 times, right? Not bad, huh?" Your dad chimes in, proud.
As if not being able to tell which daughter you've held in your arms and taken care of the past 23 years of your life is something to be proud of. You digress.
You were identical.
"Sure," Caleb says as he takes a seat on the couch. Casually, he leans into the crook of the chair away from your parents. Manspreading like he owned half of the chair with just his presence. Purple eyes watched you both intently as you both switched positions a few times.
You tried to keep your expression neutral. But you knew that Caleb would probably be able to tell right away who his beloved Pipsqueak was and who was just a Bandit.
You both continue to circle each other. As you look at her, you look at yourself. A yin yang behavior. To circle each other endlessly till parts of you bled into who you've hated to be. To both be exactly alike, yet nothing at all the same.
To be yourself is to love and hate endlessly.
"And stop." Your dad says, clapping once.
You both look toward Caleb, who gazes intently at you. His eyes are heavy on your body. You want to look away, but everything within you wants to fight for a stupid victory. So you don't.
"This is pipsqueak, and this is my angel." He says, pointing at your sister and then you.
"Angel?" You question. "How did you come to this conclusion, Colonel."
"Well first," he smiles. "Pipsqueak doesn't call me Colonel. So you just proved my point, my dear mechanic."
Dammit.
"Okay, what else."
Caleb gets up from his spot on the couch and makes his way towards you, as if she wasn't there. As if no one else was around.
"Well...my dear angel often as a really defiant gaze when she looks at people. Especially me. Sometimes it borders on hatred I think." He smiles. "Unless it was something else." He whispers.
You look away.
You choose to run from his words rather than listen to them. How could he know that you wanted to jump into his skin, and carve a piece of yourself into him permanently? That you wanted the weight of his body on top of yours. The warmth of his chest, the desire in his eyes, the whirling of the mechanical arm that was never going to be a part of him yet still held a part of you every time that you tinkered with it in your workshop.
How you wanted the sound of that robotic arm to lullaby you to sleep as he wrapped himself around you brought his real arm to your stomach and caressed it gently.
He truly knew nothing.
Son of a bitch.
"True," you chuckle with a dark gaze. "But it doesn't border on hatred. It is."
"Oh, you know that isn't true."
"What i know is that there are somethings you don't come back from, and if you don't step out of my fucking face, I'll make sure that you face a death you don't came back from." You fake a gasp, "Oh damn, I should say, again. Shouldn't I."
Your sister watches your back and forth. At first, with amusement, but then also a sense of wrongness.
Like she wasn't supposed to be here.
She could tell there was something between you two. Something that was more than hate. It was desire. A language is so often hidden between the lines but felt so easily.
She had no place between that. After all, she was just Caleb's childhood friend, right?
Maybe she did feel something for him, a sense of belonging like no other. To have someone take care of you and treat you as a precious jewel when the world was determined to crush you. Caleb did that. He treated her as if she were a jewel. A diamond.
She shakes her head. She would be fine without him. Afterall, when this bastard blew the fuck up, she had to do everything on her own. And she'll continue to do so.
Or at least... she has her family still there with her.
"Oh angel, you wound me deeply." Caleb jokes sarcastically. But you're not having any of it.
"Would you like another fatal wound? I think we can make that happen."
At this point, your mom and dad left, and your sister also took her leave. Something about going to go change.
Caleb chuckles as he deepens the space between you two. His warm hand caressing your face. You want to throw something at him. Whether it's a chair or yourself, you can't decide.
"How did you know it was me." You asked again.
He comes closer, enough to feel his breath hot on your face. Enough for your eyes to linger at his lips a bit too long to be just friendly.
"Because," he whispered. "I'd know your little eyebrow quirk anywhere."
His hand traced your leg.
"The way you favor your right leg over your left when you stand, because of a classroom mishap you had when you were still studying at the DAA."
"The way you quirk your head to the left when you've been waiting for too long." His hand traced the nape of your neck. Then, he cupped your face and tilted your head towards him.
"The way your lips quiver with unspoken words. Your eyes, hungry."
How could he not know. It was the same look he gave you.
Not because you looked like her.
But because you were just you. Beautiful, utterly brilliant, bright-eyed, and amazing you.
He presses his lips to yours. The dryness of them, ticklish against your moist ones. His hands in your hair, as he breathes you in like you're the last bit oxygen he has left in deepspace.
You throw your arms around him. Your body flush against his, this moment, a dream. An endless yearning fulfilled like you've finally caught the sun after riding into the sunset.
Was this desire? Was it love? You don't know.
But you wanted to explore what it felt like to be loved.
Like a word lost in translation.
"Ay! I know yall are lovey dovey but no pda in my living room!" Your dad calls from the other room.
"Sorry, dad!"
He didn't want you to be her. He wanted you to be yourself.
And to be yourself is to love and hate endlessly.
#love and deepspace mc#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace oneshots#lads caleb fanfic#lads caleb trash#lads caleb#yearning#mutual pining#what if MC had a twin#a bit of prose
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Rogue Arthur AU
I had this thought after watching Naruto, what if this Sorcerer or magical being shows up and because of some grudge or disrespectful act of Uthers, they reveal to everyone all of his secret baggage.
The secret of Morgana's heritage and Arthur's birth are revealed and both siblings are angry.
(Should mention this is before Morgause)
Merlin conflicted, doesn't know what to do. After hearing the truth, it made him angry to finally understand why all these deaths, the killing of magic occurred. It was not because of the act of Sorcery, but because of the foolishness of a man. One who did not think twice about the price for a life when he believes it would not affect him or others close by. (He knows it's a bit hypocritical of him consider the Nimue event, but he fixed it and learned to be more cautious with knowing the details of a deal.)
But even in his anger Merlin has one point of clarity, and that would always be his love for his friends, for Arthur.
When Arthur and Morgana moved to try and kill the King, not even the knights or councillors moved to stop them. Gaius tried to talk sense into them but him being the back man for Uther for years didn't earn him their ears, regardless of the years of care, he always stood by Uther.
But when Merlin stood before them, their friend and the only servant that would speak up at a noble regardless of the consequences, they paused for him.
Arthur: Merlin! Get out of the way! This has nothing to do with you!
Merlin: Oh, but it does! More then you know, but please listen to me. I know you both are angry and rightly so for what Uther has done and kept from you both. You're right to hate him.
Morgana: Then move aside Merlin, let us avenge all those this... this Tyrant has killed!
Arthur: Because of him my mother died when she did not need too, when she herself did not even know of what he did just for an heir! And when he got what he wanted, it wasn't worth it, and he couldn't even accept what he'd done and instead blamed others, blame magic and sorcerers for his own guilt!
Morgana: And even worst, he cheated on her. He had me when he was still very much married to his queen! He betrayed my Father Gorlois, and once I was born had my mother assassinated to keep the secret quiet! Why shouldn't we kill him for everything he's done!
Merlin: *Breaths* Because, there has already been enough blood spilt by Pendragon hands.
Merlin: Uther has already taken the lives of so many people, people who are scared and hiding, waiting, praying for better times, and a better place where they can stand in the light of day and not be afraid of who they are.
Morgana: Then-!
Merlin: Then what? We kill him and what would they see? More Pendragons killing their own father. What would they see but more blood and Pendragon on the throne. It won't be the end, even if you were to lift the Magic Ban, what about those that lived so long under Uther believing his propaganda? They wouldn't just go for it. They'll rebel because they'll see Magic as the reason you both killed Uther and it won't stop the misunderstanding. It'll grow, unless we stop the cycle of hatred!
Arthur & Morgana: ...
Merlin: You both are ten times the person Uther is. Don't let him win this battle by sharing his violence.
He basically used talk-no-jutsu to prevent his two friends from killing their sperm-donner, instead they sentenced him to the dungeons until they could figure out a better punishment.
But! In truly Uther fashion, the King would not stand for this act of "betrayal" from his own children.
He escapes with the aid of some still loyal councillors and older knights and tried to subdue Morgana and Arthur's faction and take back control of Camelot.
In the chaos and fighting, Merlin reveals his magic to save either Morgana or Arthur, shocking the two newly known siblings with his secret. In their distraction they didn't see the attack until it was too late.
Uther, witness to the same magic that saved his childrens life, became enraged and believing it was all cause of Merlin that his children fight against him (rejecting the facts previously made known and Merlin basically being the reason he's not a corpse, cause I can see him blaming others still) without further prompting, he came from behind the sorcerer and ran him through the heart.
Merlin dies and all hell breaks loose.
Arthur snaps.
In a fit of righteous rage and screaming heartbreak. He disarmed Uther, quite literally.
The old kings hand laid on the castle floor before he saw his sons eyes and truly feared. He and his allies flee Camelot.
Arthur screamed his fury at Uthers escape and much later after gathering Merlin's body and burying him alongside his mother, he vows to himself, that no more shall be taken from him. He promises himself that he will have Uthers head and avenge his Mother and Merlin.
With this, Arthur declares Morgana as Crown Princess and that he relinquishes the rights to the throne to her before leaving Camelot and hunting down Uther himself.
No one could stop him, not Gwen, not Gaius, not Morgana.
Only one could have, but they lay beneath the castle, never to raise again.
Or so they thought...
And that's it guys 😈✨ yup, leaving it here on a cliff hanger. I know, I'm evil 😆✨.
I'll continue this idea eventually, promise.
Until then, till next time fellow dreamers~✨
#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merlin fandom#bbc merthur#arthur x merlin#Rogue Arthur AU#thoughts#morgana#morgana pendragon#morgana le fay#merthur#Merlin dies#He comes back#Immortal Merlin#Arthur out hunting#His prey is his father#Morgana becomes queen#Good Morgana#Dark Arthur
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Proclaim eternal victory
Word count: 1.1k
Relationships: GazRoach, Gaz/Roach
Tags: love confession (kind of), first kiss, competitive Roach
Part of a project that has a tiny explanation here. Keep reading under the cut!!
AN: Happy valentines day @hexxedghost!! I actually really struggled to write something for you cause you like so many things but I did include Roach cause i just had to. Its how we started talking anyway so it had to be done :D I hope i got their dynamic right, it was fun to write smth a little random like this instead of hurt/comfort pffft. I wish i had the time to write smth horror based though those ideas were so goooood, definitely gonna have to revisit that :O You're always so nice and understanding, your DMs have always been open and a safe space to me and for that i want to thank you, genuinely <33
The rivalry had started as a joke.
Gaz liked to talk. Roach, despite his silence, somehow always had the last word.
It was infuriating.
At first, it had been small things—Roach raising an eyebrow at Gaz’s one-liners, shaking his head with mock disapproval when Gaz made a particularly terrible pun. But then, Roach started using his phone to reply, quick texts flashing on the screen with pinpoint sarcasm, perfectly timed to shut Gaz up before he even had a chance to counter. Sometimes, when he wanted to really drive the point home, he signed. Gaz had been making an effort to learn, but he still missed a lot when Roach signed. It certainly didn’t help that Roach had started deliberately making his signs quicker, more subtle, knowing full well Gaz was struggling to keep up.
It should not have been possible for someone who didn’t speak to be this annoying.
It wasn’t just training, either. Roach had developed an uncanny ability to disrupt Gaz’s focus at the most inopportune times. Briefings, field exercises, even casual downtime—there Roach would be, watching him with that insufferable smirk, typing something at a speed that suggested he had been waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
The worst part? Everyone else was enjoying this.
“You’re a menace,” Gaz muttered after Roach absolutely obliterated him in a training exercise, landing a clean shot before Gaz had even spotted him.
Roach, ever smug, pulled out his phone and held it up: Get good.
Gaz swatted the phone out of his face with a huff, only for Roach to catch it effortlessly, flashing a shit-eating grin before pocketing it.
Soap and Ghost, the ever-present audience to their nonsense, watched on with far too much amusement.
“Y’know, Gaz,” Soap mused, stroking his chin like he was deep in thought, “for someone who’s meant to be the witty bastard on this team, you’re lettin’ Roach run circles round you.”
Gaz rolled his eyes. “I am not letting him do anything.”
Roach, with the worst timing imaginable, sent a single message to his phone. Gaz felt the buzz in his pocket and, with a sinking feeling, pulled it out to read it.
Yeah, but you still can’t keep up.
Gaz turned to glare at Roach, who merely tilted his head with an expression of pure, innocent delight.
“Oh, that’s it—” Gaz began, but then Roach signed something quickly to Ghost. Whatever it was, it sent the normally stoic man into a low chuckle, shaking his head as he walked away.
“What? What did he say?” Gaz demanded, looking between them. Ghost just patted him on the shoulder.
“Nothin’ you need to worry about, mate.”
Gaz turned to Roach, eyes narrowing. “That’s dirty play.”
Roach smirked behind his mask but didn’t deny it.
Fine. Two could play at that game.
The next time Roach got the drop on him in training, Gaz decided to fight dirty. He grinned, wide and slow, and stepped right into Roach’s personal space, leaning in just enough that their noses almost brushed.
Roach, who had been infuriatingly confident up until now, immediately stilled, blinking at him with sharp, surprised eyes. Gaz didn’t miss the way Roach’s fingers twitched by his side, like he was debating stepping back but refused to give in.
Gaz smirked. “What, cat got your tongue?”
Roach’s eyes narrowed, a flicker of something dangerous in his gaze, but Gaz saw the faintest dusting of pink across his cheekbones and oh, this was brilliant.
Gaz was just about to revel in his small victory when Roach, moving faster than Gaz could react, reached up and flicked him on the forehead.
“Oi—”
Roach pulled out his phone, typed something quickly, and held it up for Gaz to read.
Try harder, pretty boy.
Gaz’s brain short-circuited.
Soap cackled. Ghost actually laughed, which was worse. Gaz was left standing there, ears burning, fists clenched, as Roach just walked away, supremely satisfied with himself.
Gaz seethed.
Alright. Fine. Roach wanted to play this game? He’d show him.
The next few days were war. Gaz spent every moment he could trying to get one up on Roach, but every attempt only seemed to amuse the other man more. Whether it was sparring, training drills, or even meal breaks, Roach found some way to fluster him. He’d smirk behind his mask, tap a quick message, and watch with clear amusement as Gaz gritted his teeth. He started stealing Gaz’s seat at meal times, casually handing him his phone with a text that read mine now before returning to eating like nothing had happened.
Gaz had never wanted to throttle someone more in his life.
It wasn’t fair. Gaz was supposed to be the smooth one. The fast talker. The one who could charm his way out of anything. And yet, every time Roach smirked at him or sent a cheeky message, Gaz felt his stomach do flips.
One evening, when they were walking back from the gym, Gaz decided it was time for revenge. He waited for the perfect moment—Roach, distracted, stretching out his arms, looking smug as ever—and stepped in front of him, blocking his path and guiding him into a slightly more secluded corner.
Roach quirked an eyebrow, amused, but before he could sign or reach for his phone, Gaz lifted a hand and hooked his fingers under the edge of Roach’s mask.
Roach stilled. His hands didn’t move to stop Gaz, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes—just a moment where he let Gaz decide what happened next.
Slowly, deliberately, Gaz pulled the mask down, revealing Roach’s lips, slightly parted in surprise. Gaz felt his breath hitch at the sight of him, and for once, Roach wasn’t smirking, wasn’t teasing—he was watching Gaz like he was waiting for something.
So Gaz gave it to him.
He leaned in, pressing their lips together in a kiss that was slow, deliberate—less about winning and more about the way Roach melted into it. Roach made a soft, startled sound against his mouth before he kissed back, his fingers curling instinctively into Gaz’s hoodie. Gaz let himself sink into it, into the warmth, the way Roach’s breath hitched when he tilted his head just so.
The world around them blurred. The distant sounds of the base, the ever-present murmur of other soldiers moving about none the wiser to the revelation that Gaz was having right now—it all faded to the feeling of Roach’s lips against his, the way his breath stuttered when Gaz moved just slightly closer.
By the time Gaz pulled back, they were both slightly breathless.
Roach blinked at him, lips red, pupils dark. For the first time ever, he had nothing to say.
Gaz grinned, victorious, his voice smug but warm. “Gotcha.”
Roach’s fingers twitched—half instinct, half hurried—before he pulled out his phone and typed furiously.
Gaz had barely a second to brace himself before Roach turned the screen towards him.
Do it again.
Gaz’s breath hitched.
Oh, he was in so much trouble.
#cod#call of duty#q writes#kyle gaz garrick#gary roach sanderson#gazroach#actually was super fun to write i have to write roach again#especially these two together???#new favourite ship unlocked thanks hexx#theyre both so unhinged in very different ways i can imagine itd be insanity if they came together#anyway really fun to work on and happy valentines <33#title is from apocalypse please - muse
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Thoughts on season one's episode four to seven of RWBY coming right up... Or down I guess.
Season 01 Episode 04: The First Step - Pt I
- I am so happy that I can sing along to some of the song now. One of them monsters has a yellow coloured tip on it's tail. Didn't notice that before.
- So, Ruby's symbol is a rose. Weiss has the snowflake in her corner. Both Blake and Yang have something akin to flames, but of different colours and shapes. Blake's thing looks more like a flame to be honest. Yang's is almost a heart Hmmm.
- The girl is a morning person. The guy isn't. Both of them are me somehow. These two also show up in the opening and ending together with Jaune and the red-kinda-like-fire-dressed lady.
- Also, the boy here has magenta eyes. And a hair stripe of the same colour. Nice.
- Nora and Ren. The former is crushing, ain't she? And do they have a major height difference? Maybe it was the angle of the shot.
- No social interactions anymore. Ruby just wants to ride into the sunset with her weapon. Mood... Is this the arc where we learn about the importance of teamwork and people alongside her?
- "I don't need people to help me grow up. I drink milk!" Yes. You tell them kid.
- Yang doesn't want to be on Ruby's team. Typical big sister energy. I have that urge too sometimes.
- Jaune finishing a "nice and quirky" girl's sentence? More likely than you think.
- So red-kinda-like-fire-dressed lady is Pyrrha. Strong and well-known. Can't decipher her origins yet. Seems Greek to me, for whatever reason... Is she supposed to be Hestia?! Moi's favourite goddess from the Greek pantheon.
- Weiss wants her in her own corner. And she is scheming already about a good life alongside her. LoLLL!
- Okay, why is this soliloquy from Weiss me as a kid thinking about getting a best friend for life? Nothing gay going on at all... Oh my Gods. She literally says, "Nothing could come between us now!" 😂👏🏻
- Jaune is jinx for Weiss it seems. Am pretty sure Pyrrha is actually fond of him. She is the only one so far who waved at him willingly. Or maybe she was just being polite.
- "Hot stuff." "Snow angel." WoW.
- Weiss really is smart. She realised what would get Jaune to recognise Pyrrha after only two attempts. Kudos!
- I liked the cereal box animation bit. Gave me a good giggle.
- Pyrrha is so nice. Jaune thinks he has more game than he actually does. Should read up on personal space though. Ooooooh! That spear throw from Pyrrha was badass!
- "Ladykiller." Yeah, the ladies want to kill themselves often when he comes around. Jokes! 😂
- Is Ozpin sick or something? Every time I see him well enough, he has a cup in his hand. Granted I have only seen him thrice, but during two of those times he was drinking from a cup and walking around merrily. The initiation speech was the only time I saw him actively using what looks to be a cane. He didn't seem very energetic then, as noted by Yang and Ruby. Too early to actually lock in on this though.
- Emerald forest. Cute.
- Ruby's worst nightmare is coming true. Jaune's attempt at a question was the tree in the jungle no one saw fall. And they will be graded on their journey through the woods and could die in the process... I want to be in this world.
- Jaune. My friend. It's kind-of a drop off. Look around. You missed Yang putting on her aviators moments before being catapulted. So cool.
- The Blake ending. Tune was nice. Very, expect something to come soon.
Season 01 Episode 05: The First Step - Pt II
- Rocking along to the opening song.
- Ruby smashed across a winged creature on her way down. Hope that birdie wasn't uncle Qrow. 😆
- The scythe landing technique was nice. Weiss has snowflake steps. Ren uses his gun very well. Yang is handblasting her gauntlets to fly through the sky. Pyrrha warrior princess-ed a path in. AND assisted Jaune. Gods, she is good... Yang seemed to be the only one having fun though. The aviators make a lot more sense now.
- How did Blake and Nora get in? Me wants to know!
- The mental juggling Ruby is doing as she runs... Funny and many people's everyday reality. Probably different circumstances though. I hope.
- The figures in her head are so unserious. Great for comedic value at least! Blake's "so mysterious, so calm" face is giving major 'Hey mamas' vibes.
- So Ruby's choices so far are her own sister. The incompetent nice guy. The anti-social bibliophile. And...
- Of course it's the mean girl Ruby ends up paired with... "The world needs the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning." 😭
- Oh my Gods. Is this Weiss' version of 'stuck between a rock and a hard place?'
- Ruby's celebratory hurrah on getting Weiss as a partner might not last long, but mine probably will. 😁
- Jaune should be asking for team spots on Pyrrha's side. But still, cute!
- When did Ruby become the roadrunner, Weiss would like to know.
- Grimm monster's here. Weiss is alone. Ooooooh. Things mayhaps be getting interesting.
- Yang's ending. Exciting music. Makes me want to do a montage planning a revolution.
Season 01 Episode 06: The Emerald Forest - Pt I
- RWBY opening. My beloved.
- The monster is not Yang's sister. The other monster is also not Ruby. And they both get hit by Yang.
- Complained so bad Yang is teasing them now.
- Ahhhh. Her hair is precious. One strand out, and not only does the perpetrator go down but some trees around them as well. Junior's fate is shrouded in more darkness now.
- Blake did the other monster a favour by saving it from Yang's wrath.
- Her ensuing smirk and Yang's answer... New partner alert! AGHHHHHHHHH! It's happening!!!!
- Weiss being so technical about her stance and stuff could mean she hasn't had much time training with actual monsters.
- Ruby and Weiss' teamwork so good, they only needed one hit to bring down an entire group of monsters AND some chunk of the jungle... without even meaning to do that. 😂
- Sending my prayers to the collateral damage the forest is withstanding. And the noise pollution it needs to tolerate, courtesy of Ruby and Weiss.
- Slicing down the tree in anger was such an alpha male move. I support a woman in male dominated fields. Go Ruby!
- That feather is huge. Is that from a monster?
- I am loving the reversal of gender roles between Jaune and Pyrrha. The damsel in distress man and the competent protector lady. Considering this came out in 2013, good on the folks behind the show for making this a thing. Chef's kiss!
- Ooooooh! Exposition... "It bears our burdens and shields our hearts." I guess I don't have no soul. My aura would be working overtime otherwise.
- Ren vs a big snek. Aura Person vs Creature of Grimm. Manifestation of soul vs Manifestation of anonymity. Light vs Darkness.
- It's interesting how just as Pyrrha talks about understanding light and darkness, 'cause everyone has some of both, a white snek comes along. Also a Grimm creature, from the looks of it. Hmmm.
- Essentially, bare your soul. Project yourself. Turn your aura into a forcefield... Man, they really are coming for the arses of emotionally unavailable people.
- Hope Ren's okie... WHOA. This guy pulled out some serious ancient art moves with his magenta-pink(?) aura. Blasted a snek's head off. NOICE!!!
- The fact that Jaune didn't immediately assume Pyrrha was going to kiss him is good character development! 😂 Jokes aside though, Pyrrha used her own aura to unlock Jaune's? She is such a good person...
- White aura Jaune. Red aura Pyrrha.
- "You have a lot of it." Am sure Jaune's mum probably wondered why he had so much energy at least a few times. 😆
- A wild sloth appears. Ren doubts her choice of animal noise. The sloth uses the 'boop' maneuver to counteract this claim.
- The Jaune and Pyrrha ending. The music is almost EDM like here.
Season 01 Episode 07: The Emerald Forest - Pt II
- Yes, am ready for a revolution!
- Pairs have been formed and Madam Glynda has thoughts... I have none 'cause she so pretty.
- Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren. Norse myths and I think Chinese background... Nora's inspiration is apparent. Can't figure out Ren's... They do have such cool names though. NOICE!
- Of course Jaune is a good student. And Ozpin is really invested in Ruby. Hmmm.
- Weiss' sky high pride meet Ruby's rising irritation... Ooooof. That spat was unnecessary. Don't be so rude Weiss. You really don't know Ruby.
- Blake and Yang are the first ones to make it?! Dream team!!! Go sapphics, go!!!
- The temple's a chessboard. Huh.
- Jaune and Pyrrha enter a cave (Why does this sound like an opening for a joke?)... Jaune's only contribution has been extinguished 'cause he clumsy. Warmth in places dark... Good sign?
- Yang and Blake decide on taking a pony. Equestrian folks would appreciate it.
- The chesspieces have yellow and black toppers. Huh.
- Jaune confused the yellow-tip of a monster for the relic. Classic. His girlish screams are doing something to Blake. Is this PTSD?
- The cave has a drawing of a scorpion being forced in. Oh Gods. I think there was similar art when Pyrrha and Jaune were entering initially. Either this is actually funny or I am too tired.
- Jaune goes flying out, Ruby comes flying in. Wonder what happened there.
- The Ren and Nora ending. Sounds a little like a spy theme. Huh. I didn't realise they showed symbols in the end credits as well. Ren's is like a leaf. Or is it a flower. And Nora's reminds me of a hammer. But with a needle on both ends of the part with which you hit. Hmmm.
(You spoil me, I spoil your life.
Them's the rules. So don't do it. Farewell!)
#RWBY#Ruby Rose#Weiss Schnee#Blake Belladonna#Yang Xiao Long#Lie Ren#Nora Valkyrie#Jaune Arc#Pyrrha Nikos#Professor Ozpin#Glynda Goodwitch#Hope your day doesn't stump you as much as Ren and Pyrrha's backgrounds did to me!
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Recap Simon Cowell on The Ray Foley podcast talking about 1D, his show and Harry calling him.
Simon did another interview, I wanted to share another recap/transcript in case anyone was interested.
TLDR: He said that he and 1D had the best time working together and he really missed it, he made a deal with the company that made Formula 1: Drive to Survive (Box to Box Films) and is going to a streamer plataform. He is doing promo so more people audition because he think is the best way to get in to the music business (even though he said he is not going to offer a record deal and he will own the name), he wants to invite Louis Walsh to the auditions, last but not least according to him Harry call him just to say hello.
Below is the more detail recap with a few quotes.
Simon was on The Ray Foley podcast, it was a zoom interview of almost 13 min [20.06.24].
-According to Simon because there hasn' t been a successful UK band or Irish band since 1D, so he thought about a year ago to do his show to create a new boyband. He thinks is the only way to do it.
-What he is looking for? The best example is One Direction. He thinks is the best boyband of all time. "There is something about each of them, they were all individually talented, collectively they were just brilliant, it was fun, talented and we had the best, best time working together and I really, really missed it and that is why I decided you know what? I'm gonna risk it and I'm just gonna do it."
-He then talk about his memories of the band. That when One Direction didn't win he was so unhappy and that the next day they come to the label and he said they are gonna sign them. After he says "I think if we could find a group of people like that again, with those kind of records, I really, really think there is a massive opportunity here, I can just feel it".
About his show he comment:
- "I'm working with a company who made drive to survive"[Note: I check the production company was Box to Box Films, the program is Formula 1: Drive to survive, that is a documentary series of F1 that aires on Netflix]. He went to see them and he said he was gonna do this [boyband] "with or without cameras, do you think it would make a good documentary? And they went are you prepared to show everything?" He said yes, so they make a deal. "Is going to be a documentary for one of the big streamers."
- He is doing promo so more people audition because if it works it's worth it, is fun and "it's the best way on getting in to the music business, because right now they just aren't enough new people being sign for whatever reason, and that's depressing." [Important to remember that the band that is going to be created will not have a record deal, they will have to find it on their own and Simon is gonna own the name, see recap of that here].
-He said that the person that records a video and sharing on social media they are competing with so many people, so the odds are not in their favor, record labels are not watching their videos, they have a departament checking with algorithms, he believes that if you wanna find people he needs to met them and they need to met him. His advice for artists is always to start in a band because they will find their lane and they got a better shot. He used to do this 30 years ago, go month after month in auditions.
About Louis Walsh (X Factor judge)
The interviewer mentions that Louis has a boyband and Simon comment he will call him and drag him to be in the auditions and that they will always be friends. [Note that Louis said that he hadn't talk with Simon in years and Sharon Osbourne comment how Simon got rid of their contract they had for the new season of The X Factor for 2018, this when they add it Louis Tomlinson, Robbie Williams and Ayda Field ].
-He talk about what happened with Westlife that Louis created and Simon rejected them, they change members and he sign them.
Harry calling Simon.
"It was very funny because Harry Styles call me the other day just to say hello, and that night I said [to his son] I was talking to Harry Styles the other day. Son: No you didn't. Simon: Yes I did, he call me. Son: Why he will call you? Simon: To say hello, people do that."
Let me know if you want me to record and upload audios of any of this parts. I can share them.
#simon cowell#one direction#louis tomlinson#harry styles#niall horan#liam payne#zayn malik#1d vs simon#simon's new show#the more i learn about him the worst it gets#the ray foley podcast#recap#not ask recap series#1d#if i made a mistake let me know i don't have the energy to check so many times like last recap
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Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.
If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.
Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.
#positivity#disability positivity#partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability#i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue#and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect#but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy#but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do#and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst#man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe...#...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him...#...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed...#...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that...#...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f2cf29fd27ff8a912b8995cb2fb330c8/1b780eff9761c7a3-46/s540x810/2ee76992279c507ad6be55fb6aff7b226cb955e9.jpg)
She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7ced9944ba446418f0f3f8b3efd5ba7f/1b780eff9761c7a3-e2/s540x810/e17a9dedfa84e04790fcd7be24d6430f99ac9a7e.jpg)
They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/24009c198bc52fbf569f3e18704b7c5a/1b780eff9761c7a3-28/s500x750/f8928474c0fc16abfdfdb65ffae43a1115001ebe.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/032065477098c85804d18dbb4e240eea/1b780eff9761c7a3-a2/s540x810/8ac07c29bbb08beb26f42b99838cb18df3a75a85.jpg)
They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/475f2ab1992a9d7a29a1de7b649ff117/1b780eff9761c7a3-c2/s540x810/aa597c2ef0c48311b5ea2f2cfdb4d25226c60c4e.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/44be310677d28ac4187b5f630f91b8e1/1b780eff9761c7a3-24/s540x810/0ed5f6c10167c5f5d1d059db55c9f6f2f22c518b.jpg)
I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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Trying to do hw but my mind solely wants to think about how charas motivations only make sense if you look at it from the eyes of a child and that ignoring them being a kid is how the fandom got stupid ideas in it's head of them being a mass manipulator who's entirely evil even though the game beats it into our head they made the plan BECAUSE they loved the dreemurrs. Like obviously their plan was never going to work it was a bad fucking plan from the getgo and little kids are 1) stubborn and 2) not known for thinking things through????? People saw asriel call them not the greatest person and a say he wished frisk was his friend (which fair!! Charas plan did get him killed and was the catalyst for things going wrong!) And immediately jumped to making them abusive ignoring all of the evidence that chara did care about and loved monsterkind.
#this goes ditto for flowey. yeah yeah hc him as a childish adult all you want but him turing back into asriel is proof enough that hes a kid#to me at least. that and time loops negate growth by nature. hes constantly refusing to move on or mature cause hes still stuck in that#same headspace he had from after he died. he may KNOW more but thay little fucker still never went through puberty or learned from his#consequence because by nature of the reset he never HAD to deal with consequences until frisk took that power from him.#chara#chara undertale#chara dreemurr#this is a vauge post :)#ut fandom when little kid with severe mental issues whos worldview is activly harmful BECAUSE they are a child: why is it evil and a woman#people mixing their headcanons with canon by interpreting every line about chara and asriel in the worst way possible. if chara is eating#the fucking flowers they too are getting hurt by them. asriel picking the flowers is too show he too was on board with the plan NOT CHARA#ABUSING HIM BY MAKING HIM PICK THEM SO HE GETS RASHES???? and none of how chara interacts with us in nm points to them being abusive either#shocking take i know but you can be a bad friend to someone without abusing them!!!!! yes chara was probably toxic but the proof people use#as them abusing asriel drives me insane because half of it is just painting them as a master manipulator who was fully aware of what they#were doing instead of an actual child. like wdym you think they poisoned asgore on purpose to test out if buttercups are poisonous#monsters are different physiologically than humans and if chara WAS doing it on purpose that fact alone would make them look stupid because#how the poison affected asgore would affect them differently!!!! and they.cooked.the.pie. they cooked the fucking pie meaning it would have#been less effective and likely not even have worked. the fact that he was affected at all is proof enough it was an accident because trying#to make it so it was on purpose you have to go through so many hoops to rationalize why chara would think this would work.#if that last bit makes any sense im giving up and doing my fuck ass math. if your going to think of chara as a manipulating abuser then the#supposed plan your giving them needs to make sense from their perspective and it DOESNT make sense from that pov.
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okay but going back to zagreus and melinoë for a second... i think when they meet they're going to have a LOT to work on with each other if they're going to get along. zagreus likes to push boundaries and he doesn't like leaving things unresolved if there's something he can do about it and melinoë is a LOT like hades in so many ways (temperment and sometimes her tone in particular). they're going to get on each others' nerves. they're going to drive each other up the wall. they're going to need time to get to know each other and understand each other and they might not get the chance to during hades 2 (what with mel's task seeming pretty nonstop. i know she's a goddess but girl don't you get tired???).
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#there's a lot that zag can pick up about mel from around the crossroads tbf just by talking to other people#especially hecate odysseus and nemesis#and dora too. although dora would just give zagreus the information he wants for free. without even asking#there are some things i can see them getting along about and they might be really excited at first#but at the same time zag spent a lot of time and effort trying to fix his relationship with hades and hades' relationship with persephone#and the olympians. he pretty much made it so melinoë CAN exist. and he probably feels some sort of responsibility for her#as her big brother and just. that's the way he is about the people he loves too#i think that when he meets melinoë he's going to be. upset#moreso than hades was upset. not only because he didn't get to see her grow up#but also because this is worse than the worst case scenario#to him at least. he would want to protect her but mel is her own person. she's grown and she's learned how to rely on herself#(to the point of it being a detriment lmao)#and she would Not vibe with that at all.#and yeah mel has some of persephone in there as well (she has her kindness and drive to help others) but iirc that's more. recent?#idk hecate had something to say about that i just forgot what she said
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I like to imagine that after some time ccDonnie gets really into training with his bō and in training in general. He's such a solution orientated person I feel like it would get really unbearable for him to feel like he's the weakest and defenseless - after all isn't all of this his fault for being so dense that he could not tell that something was oh so obviously wrong with his brothers and for being so weak that he ended up getting so physically hurt? So really this is something he needs to fix again. Focusing too much on his tech has made him a liability and bad at reading his brothers, so he tries to balance tech and training more.
So I imagine that as an adult Donnie is quite a scary aggressive fighter - softshell turtles are quite aggressive in nature after all, precisely because of their softness - and appears quite distant and cold to outsiders. You would have to know him for quite some while and be really attentive to notice that at heart he is far more gentle mannered and soft, but the most important people in his life already know that.
Also!! I love it when in tmnt whump writers use turtle behaviours as therapy - like swimming being therapeutic. Maybe ccDonnie would also really enjoy swimming and letting his mind rest after all this?
I really liked the animatic!!!! And can't wait for the last chapter of cc! Sending love
honestly this is something i could see! combat is going to be a hard thing for donnie to go back to in particular even without his brothers because he's kind of conditioned himself to panic and do little, curl up in a ball and steel himself. and mixed with the final attack i think he's just going to have problems getting back into the environment and mindset
but like, when he does? i could definitely see some overcompensating going on. donnie gettting vicious out of fear of being helpless again. being triggered and seeing red, falling back hard on the urge to fight back that DID save his life. it stopped leo from slitting his throat and held raph off, really. its still frenzied and panicked but there's an edge of uncharacteristic anger there. he'd otherwise normally be very precise and tactical in his combat, and i do think it'd be a skill he would put a lot of focus on.
im unsure about socially though. i could see him giving off that energy because he would be quiet for SURE, and he always looks on edge and nervous (which can be interpreted as "fuck off" body language lmao) but donnie is hyperaware of other people and he always will be going forward. when he actually opens his mouth he'll be very appeasing, at first at least. i do think he'll be really nervous around new people and it'll make it hard for him to find new connections, but he'll actually be one of the better ones with that. leo will be nasty because of paranoia for a long time.
(also omg yeah i am a little envious because i would LOVE to meditate underwater ... just go under there for ages and chill ... need to project this urge onto him it sounds so calming)
#ask#canary continuity#ive never pondered on how doomed future cc!leo would be but like. actually probably better than his good future self would be#he has to get over that problem QUICK. everyone is an ally when their fight is against the kraang#his usual ire would be centered on a very select number of people. like any witches#but otherwise i think he'll really struggle with it. they NEVER learned who the witch in the bathroom was#and donnie has other enemies. maybe they cant do something like kitsune did but that's not going to stop the anger#purple dragons and repo come to mind. he would be SUPER hostile towards them#and like donnie and jeremy are friends so i dont think that'd go over well#i could honestly see leo ending up pretty overtly overprotective. more than raph#but i think its somewhat understandable. he confronted all of those injuries they caused head-on.#he took care of him. small and stick-thin and unable to breathe in that cot#rocked and held him through night terror after night terror#accepted that he would have to watch donnie die#woke up with him gone#i dont even know if donnie understands the depths of how that emotionally effects a person#maybe leo doesn't worry about having his mind fucked up but he is TERRIFIED of having to watch something like that happen to donnie again#he thinks about it a lot more than raph and mikey will. it also means he reacts the worst when donnie relapses#do with that what you will
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Ooof, it was! But I did adjust it a bit since this is already so AU (President Vicky is still alive after all lol 😅)
As ominous as this situation is, there's something really cute about picturing Ben doing this lol. He loves her fr fr. 💗
He did really take good care of her (surprisingly lol). Loved showing a little glimpse of how Ben's doing with technology, too. I figured in those few months of navigating life alone, he probably learned at least a few things 😅 (I have a HC that he googles everything someone tells him from thereon out, especially if it's his wife. She's not getting away with lies as easy anymore lmao)
Small favors? 😅 Your worldbuiding with the cure vs. the virus is so interesting here. I'm wondering how they're going to get her better at this point if they can't make her a non-supe...
I tried my best at making it plausible and give it a quick bandaid lol. My thought behind it was that the virus might change her supe DNA enough that the cure could take hold again? Luckily, Ben also doesn't understand "scientific mumbo-jumbo," so I had an easy work-around there 😂😂
And all in all, he got fucking lucky... 😅
But that moment where she literally coughs blood is so visceral. 😭 Really well done, even though my heart is in my throat now. 🫠
Yeah, you suddenly go from "Oh, it's just a plain cold" to "uh-oh" 🙈
So sweet. 😭 I was expecting his call to Victoria lmaooo, aaaand it went about as well as I expected loll. You've soothed my worries that she was the one who might've had something to do with the reader getting sick, but I'm still on the edge of my seat on how you're going to fix this...
I couldn't believe it either, but Victoria might be her actual friend lol. But kinda makes sense, considering Vicky also was very fond of Hughie 🥲 But Vicky and Ben might have leveled up from "arch-nemesis" to "frenemies" lmao
I felt that No in my chest, jeezus. 😭😭
I loved writing him during this entire scene lol! Considering he was fully human and went up against his supe wife like that and stood his ground... He really fought for her and their relationship 😭💕
Oh my Goddd their rehab days coming to bite her in the butt loll. But good on Ben for learning something! 😂
Glitter and glue 😂 Ben's not book smart, but he's definitely street-smart lol
Honestly I could see this. 💔 The V changes people, typically for the worst. And with her, I feel like she was kinda quick to suggest divorce after everything she and Ben had been through.
We definitely saw the change with Butcher and Hughie 👀 And the V absolutely changed her, too! The absence also didn't help. It was easier to cut ties and grow colder, being miles away 💔
The divorce was still her way of telling him it's okay to go. She didn't want to hold him back and be a burden. She hates being a supe and knows he hates it, too.
lmfaoo. I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. 😂
You were supposed to laugh. He literally went whew, bomb defused 😂 It was a bit insane of him to go toe to toe with a supe lol. He even recognized that SB might've not been as cooperative as she was 😅
OhGodohGodohGod!! Her anger is so valid, but also, I can't help but root for Ben's side on this one. 😅
Right? Like, if it hadn't worked, I'd be so pissed he's making me suffer more, but still – Go, Ben! You do you, man 😂🫶 (And a part of her surely knew all along he'd do it either way lol)
I have a feeling Ben's gamble is gonna pay off, thanks to the one time he paid attention to science. 🤓
Well, did he? lmao One in eighty rats wouldn't be a chance I'd take. They definitely didn't teach him math at that boarding school 100 years ago 🤣🤣
But yes, like I said, he got fucking lucky 😂🩵🩷
Lover – Part 2
Series Summary: Free from his past, Ben’s trying to move on and find a little drop of happiness in this new world. But when he finally holds everything he ever wanted in his hands, it threatens to slip through the cracks, and he has to fight one final time with everything he’s got to keep it.
🫡 Catch up here! Sequel to Rehab & Video Games.
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female!Reader
Warnings: 18+ due to language & mature themes, established relationship, Soldier Boy x wife!reader, human!Soldier Boy, angst with a side of hurt/comfort, sickness & generally gross descriptions thereof (the Gen V virus says hello 👋 – with minor adjustments), tw: mentions of euthanasia & suicide, sprinkles of fluff between
Word Count: 4.5k
A/N: Don't read too much into the whole virus situation, guys. I promise this is a full fix-it, and that annoying little bug is just how we're gonna do that 😜 Come tomorrow, all's well because we all know the V stands for... I do this joke every year, don't I? Never mind! Happy reading! 💕
Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List
Part 2: Lovesick
Ben’s worried. Y/N keeps saying she’s fine.
They stroll through the supermarket. Benny pushes the cart in front of them, racing down the aisles.
She woke up this morning around eleven o’clock after a thirteen-hour sleep. He’d held a small mirror under her nose several times at night to assure himself she was still breathing. She never woke up. She’d looked so peaceful it had almost been creepy.
She also sweat through her sheets and jittered like a leaf in the wind. He tried to hold her when she was freezing and gave her distance when she was ablaze. In those breaks, he scoured the Internet for answers and tried to keep his frustrations over it quiet with little grunts and a deeply creased brow.
The hard lines on his face are still there, though. They never left.
Ben isn’t entirely clueless, however. Sure, he’s spent some four decades locked away, then came back for a short period of time to a world he can barely understand, only to be put to sleep and experimented on some more for a couple of years. People don’t really expect him to follow the news at this point, and they’re not wrong in their assumption – he rarely ever gives a shit.
But he remembers how she’d given him an update of the world’s dire state when he’d first gotten to the clinic. She’d mentioned a virus – one designed to kill any supes. The plan was to wipe everyone out. Biological warfare, they’d called it. It hadn’t come as a surprise to Ben. He’d seen this all before. Hell, he’d even helped with some of those things back in his glory days.
The virus had been one more reason, one more need for the cure. It had been the perfect deal: If you can’t kill ‘em, cure ‘em. But once that infectious little vial was opened, well, it had been hard to put the genie back inside.
The cure acted as both a vaccine and a remedy against the virus. Soon, the pesky little thing was pushed back but was never quite eradicated. It had eventually slowed its progression but never became any less deadly.
Now, instead of quick and painless, there was agonizing and torturous.
But Y/N can’t take the cure. He might as well kill her this second out of mercy.
When she woke up from her beauty sleep this morning, she admittedly looked better. She said she felt better. Ben still didn’t believe her. She barely touched her food, picked at her breakfast, and ended up only eating the leftover crusts of their son’s toast. He watched her from his periphery as he nursed his coffee in the kitchen, stoically worrying more.
Y/N coughs once more next to him as they pass the frozen food aisle. Ben eyes her cautiously. She’s done it all morning. He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how to help her or how to stop it. Not even the blue vial could help him fix it. He doesn’t even know if it’s real yet. Is it normal? Is he overreacting?
She coughs again. He shakes his head and bites his tongue.
“You okay?” he checks gruffly, his voice thick with tension and concern, but he already expects her answer.
“I told you not to worry. I’m alright,” she says, her throat dry and her voice coarse. Her words are meant to soothe her husband. She can see the worry shimmering in his juniper eyes. She’s lucky he’s not a supe anymore, or he would’ve gone nuclear a while ago.
And admittedly, she knows she might be in denial. If true, it seems like a cruel trick the universe is playing on her. Giving her all she’s ever wanted and take it away immediately after? It definitely feels like a cosmic joke all the Gods are laughing about.
But deep down, she knows it’s true. She knows she’s screwed, but she doesn’t know how to tell Ben. He’ll lose his shit. She knows he’s not built for this.
She coughs again into a used tissue, which she has stored in her pocket since last night. Her tongue tastes something metallic – copper and iron. And when her eyes land on the white cloth, they notice spots of a deep, scarlet red.
She stops walking then and swallows thickly, her hands trembling as her eyes transfix on the blood. Ben halts as well when he realizes she’s not moving. He sees the panic in her face, sees she’s a lot paler now than the night before. Her skin looks clammy, her eyes red, weary, and dazed as if she had just taken a hard hit from one of his blunts.
“What’s wrong?” Ben asks and steps closer. He cocks his head at her, the creases of his brow now harsh lines. She seems out of it, confused. She doesn’t even seem to understand his question, let alone be capable of answering.
Her mouth opens, but instead of words, she only inhales shakily like it’s the last breath she’ll ever take. Ben barely reaches her fast enough when her eyes roll back into her head till there’s only shining white and her knees begin to buckle.
Ben pulls the knitted wool blanket up to her shoulders and gently kisses her temple. It’s been two hours since she’s fainted in the supermarket, and she’s still burning up.
He caught her just in time before her head hit the linoleum. He shooed away a group of concerned strangers that had gathered around them, assuring them that his wife was fine and just experiencing a minor dizzy spell. He sold it with a humorous eye roll and chuckled the word “women” before grabbing the kid and carrying her quickly out of the store and into the car. If she hadn’t been out cold, he’s certain he would’ve heard several objections to that comment.
Ben knows he can’t take her to a hospital, however. No one knows she’s a supe, and these days, they don’t receive the best treatment – too many bridges burnt after Homelander’s reign of terror. People have become angry, fearful, and distrustful.
Again, he feels a little responsible. He’s sure Soldier Boy had laid some groundwork for that, too.
Softly, the door to their bedroom clicks shut, her phone in his hand as he searches her contacts. His shoulders tense as he reaches the one he needs. His jaw tightens as he holds it to his ear and waits for an answer.
“Hey, I figured you’d call. Already fed up with the wrinkly dick and coming back?” Victoria Neuman’s voice sounds through the speaker, causing Ben’s hair to stand up on its ends.
Chalk on fucking board, he thinks and bites the anger back. He hates talking to that bitch, hates being nice, and hates asking for favors. But he swallows the acrimony down for the sake of his wife.
“It’s me,” Ben grits and feels his jaw beginning to ache. Why the fuck does everything hurt all the time? It’s something he figures he’ll never get used to – every time his back cracks and creaks in the mornings.
“You have exactly five seconds to tell me she’s not locked up in your basement before I make a few calls and let hellfire rain down on you, you decrepit piece of antiquity,” she bites her threat, but Ben can hear the concern in her voice, although he doesn’t give it too much weight. She’s probably faking it like her orgasms.
“Look, I wouldn’t fucking call if it wasn’t serious, you cunt,” Ben snaps and squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing the surge of fury and impatience out of his temples.
His admission causes a beat of silence on the other end. “What’s going on?” Neuman then finally asks and swallows down her own snarky remarks.
Ben licks his chapped lips before pushing the words out. “She’s-… she’s sick.”
There’s another long pause. “She can’t be sick. She’s a supe.”
“I fucking know that.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah…”
They both sigh (and both hate that they have something in common).
“I-… I have the cure,” Ben says and bites down on his tongue immediately after. He doesn’t want to show her all his cards.
“You can’t give it to her. It’s going to kill her,” Victoria reminds him firmly.
“The fucking virus is gonna kill her too, right?” Ben’s eyes drop to the floorboards that hold the solution to all his problems underneath.
“Yeah, it is,” Victoria admits. “What are her symptoms? You sure she’s not just pregnant?”
“I fucking hope not.” There’s a sentence he never expected to say. But– “I haven’t fucking cum inside of her for months.”
“Charming,” Neuman retorts on the other end.
“Wait, do you fucking know something? Did she cheat on me?” The grip around the phone in his hand tightens. Was that why she forgave him so fast and said she believed him?
“Unfortunately, no,” Victoria replies with obvious disappointment. Ben refrains from releasing the sigh of relief he feels. “Believe me, I’ve tried to get her cockdrunk on someone else…”
If Ben still had super-strength, he would’ve crushed the goddamn phone in his hand. Instead of exploding, he closes his eyes and takes a deep fucking breath, though. Ten… nine… eight… Where’s your happy place?
“Why the fuck are you calling me? What do you want?” Victoria’s voice snaps him out of his fatal fantasies of tearing her limbs off one by one.
“What d’you got in your labs? You gotta have a new cure, a new sample, fucking something,” Ben says but doesn’t even know what he’s asking. He’s grasping at straws, hoping to stumble upon an answer.
“If they’d found something, I would’ve already given it to her,” Neuman says.
“You fucking sure about that?” Ben doesn’t believe a drop of what she’s tellimg him.
“Yes,” Victoria still insists. “Look, before you give it to her, I’ll ask around, make a few calls, okay? See if there’s any possibilities to stop this.”
Ben’s hands tremble, his jaw quivers as he desperately tries to steady himself. “Thank you, fucking hurry,” he forces out in a murmur and immediately hangs up.
Y/N stretches with a grumbling sigh as his hand gently caresses her head. He presses his lips to her burning temple, her weary eyes fluttering open.
“Hey, my love,” Ben says, his deep voice soft as if he’s singing her a lullaby. “How are you feeling?”
She yawns and fights back the sleep in her eyes. “Still tired.”
“You’ve been sleeping for five hours,” he tells her and watches as she curls into the couch cushions with a coughing fit. He lowers down to the carpeted floor, stroking her back till she strenuously takes a breath again. “I think we need to talk about it now.”
Slowly, she meets his gaze, and he sees the fear shimmering in her eyes behind a thin veil of tears. She knows what this is, what her body is fighting, and Ben wonders how long she’s known without saying anything. He guesses she knew right from the start. Sometimes, he forgets he likes to pretend she isn’t really smarter than him.
But then, the fear morphs to determination. She nods, swallowing. “The gun’s in the safe in the closet.”
“I know where the fuck it is,” Ben grits, his brow densely creasing with a mix of confusion and angry suspicion. “What exactly do you think I’m gonna fucking do with it?”
“Shoot me.”
Her eyes are steady and firm, his voice is sterner.
“No.”
The word booms through the living room, threatening to quake the earth and shake books off their shelves.
“Ben–“
“You fucking listen to me, I’m not fucking killing you. End of discussion,” he snaps furiously. She’s not sure she’s ever seen him this angry before – not even when she said they should consider a divorce. Although, this seems to be a different kind of anger – one that cuts deeper.
“Sid shot Nancy,” she says quietly, hoping it appeals to him in some dark, ironic twist.
“She was stabbed, and they could never fucking pin it on him,” Ben shuts her argument down. “Ain’t fucking happening. I’m sorry, but you’re not gonna be the last person on my kill list, love.”
She forces a wry but weak smile. “It’d be a mercy killing. Euthanasia.”
“I’m familiar with the fucking concept,” Ben huffs tiredly. His hand then dives into the pocket of his sweats and pulls out a small vial that holds yellow liquid.
Her lips part in shock as her eyes fix on the familiar cure in his grasp. “How long have you–“
“Stole it from that black site while you and that Neuman cunt were busy yapping about policies,” Ben explains. “I also took something blue. Figured I could use it at some point.”
“Still wanna be Soldier Boy, huh?” Her voice sounds almost bitter, mocking. A small part of her has always hoped she’d be enough for him someday. That he didn’t need the fame, the money, and the fake heroics. That he’d love himself enough to not rely on a façade.
“No,” he replies to her surprise and watches her straighten a bit on the couch. “I’d fucking do it for you.”
“I don’t want that,” she tells him firmly, hoping he still remembers her words even when she’s gone.
“I know that. Why the fuck do you think I haven’t done it yet?” Ben says with a raised brow and as much patience as he can find within himself. Chats like these aren’t his strong suit.
“So, this is your idea?” She cocks an eyebrow at the vial in his hand, her look pointed. “You don’t wanna kill me quickly, but you’d rather watch me die in fucking slow-motion?”
“It’s better than nothing,” Ben argues, the lines on his freckled face hardening again. Why does she have to be so fucking stubborn all the time?
Ironically, she thought the same thing about her husband.
“For who? You?! You can’t be that fucking selfish,” she spits and rises from the couch with a shaking head.
“Funny. I was just about to say the same fucking thing to you,” he returns with the same fire.
She thunders into the bedroom and slams the door shut before he hears her rummaging through the closet. Annoyed, he rolls his eyes once the first expletives bleed through.
“Where’s the fucking gun?” she snaps as soon as the door flies open again.
“Already hid it somewhere you won’t fucking find it,” he answers slyly and purses his lips as she storms past him into the kitchen.
She lets out a deep sigh of frustration when she finds both the knife block and drawers empty. “Seriously? Did you fucking baby-proof the house while I was asleep?!”
“Well, if you’re behaving like a fucking baby…” he retorts and patiently follows her frantic steps. “You also won’t find fucking scissors and pills, either.”
“Ironic coming from you,” she scoffs, opening and shutting cabinet doors in the desperate search for something strong enough to put her out of her goddamn misery.
“Yeah, how do you think I knew which shit to hide, huh?” he asks rhetorically and takes a careful step closer, cornering her between counters and appliances. “Would you stop that now and fucking talk to me?”
“You don’t wanna talk to me,” she retorts. “You just wanna fucking pump me full of poison, so you get to feel fucking good about yourself again.”
“You think that’s it? I’m fucking jealous?” He arches a brow and crosses his muscular arms over his broad chest, his offense hiding behind amusement.
“Aren’t you?” she bites back.
“Is that you or the fucking V talking, huh?” Ben has never said it out loud before, but he hated how that blue shit changed her. Sure, it only amplified certain parts of her that he supposes have always been there, but it made her less caring, more arrogant, too.
“It’s me, you asshole,” she snarls.
The look on her face breaks his heart into a million pieces. He almost doesn’t recognize her anymore, and he knows reaching any sense of clarity or humanity within her is impossible at this point.
“You sure about that?”
She doesn’t reply, just shakes her head at him and opens the fridge. Her shoulders still for a second, and Ben knows at that moment she’s found something and is thinking of a plan to outfox him.
His gaze swerves to the full beer bottle that has found its way into her hand. She’s quick when she breaks it forcefully against the countertop, the golden-brown liquid splashing onto the floor. But Ben’s faster and bruisingly clutches her wrist, spinning her to face him. Tears sting her eyes as she fights against his hold. Ben knows she’s not using her full strength on him, though, and is almost curious as to why.
He’s not sure Soldier Boy would’ve shown the same hesitant restraint, even if it had been her.
“What the fuck are you doing? Let me fucking go,” she grits through her teeth.
Ben only shakes his head, his gaze on her stern as he tightens his grip around her wrist.
“You want me to fucking melt you into a puddle?” she threatens.
“Fucking do it,” he challenges her defiantly without a blink of a single eye. “If you wanna do this, you’re gonna have to step over my fucking body first, ‘cause there’s no way I’m letting this hand go unless you drop that fucking bottle. What’s it gonna be?”
Her nostrils flare in sync with the heavy rising and falling of her chest, her glare deadly. Slowly and mutinously, she opens each finger till the bottle crashes to the floor and shatters into sharp daggers at their feet. As soon as his grasp on her loosens, she breaks down and falls into his arms, sobbing against his chest.
He feels a flood of relief rush through his body. Thank fucking God, because he’s totally been bluffing.
He wraps his arms tighter around her, holds her closer, and nuzzles his face into her hair. “I know. It’s okay, sweetheart…”
“I’m fucking scared, Ben,” she cries, and he swallows the thick lump in his throat and forces his own tears back into his skull.
“I know, I know…” He cradles her head, resting his chin on her crown. “You know, admittedly, I’m-… I’m a little scared, too.”
She peels from his chest and meets his forest green eyes, amusement dancing on her lips. “Well, I’m glad you’re not a cold-hearted psychopath.”
Ben curls his lips, cheeks reddening. This is what he gets for opening up. “It’s my job as your husband to take care of you. Be a strong front.”
She rolls her eyes back dramatically and groans into his shirt. “You know, it doesn’t make you less of a man for feeling things.” She teasingly grins up at him. “In fact, I think only guys with the biggest dicks can pull it off.”
His lips tug at a smile. “I know what you’re doing.”
She locks her arms around his neck and pulls herself to his height for a scorching kiss. And Ben can’t fight the feeling this is meant to be their last one.
“Don’t get weird when I’m gone, okay?” she tells him then, and it feels like the beginning of a list of last wishes. “No reverting back to full asshole. No blue shit.”
“Christ, you’re not fucking dying,” Ben replies, his deep voice calm but firm.
“Ben, denial will only make it worse,” she says, her heart cracking at the forlorn look on his face. “You can’t fix this. There’s nothing you can do. It’s okay.”
Ben shakes his head wordlessly, and she knows the conversation is about to be over. There really isn’t more she can do, either.
“C’mon, let’s get you back to bed. You need some rest,” Ben says and already scoops her into his arms before she can respond.
Y/N’s head rests on his broad and bare chest as he holds her tightly in his arms. The skin-to-skin contact seems to soothe her, which is good because he plans to never let her go. If he just keeps her here right next to him, she’ll be fine. She won’t leave him.
She’s talked some when she wasn’t out like a light, but Ben could tell her mind was getting hazy. She talked about her parents and her childhood, something she rarely ever does.
They had never really talked a lot about their respective pasts altogether. They’d covered the basics, but what actually happened didn’t matter as much. They knew they’d both done things they weren’t proud of. But the point of their relationship had always been a clean slate – a fresh start.
She had barely gotten that. She stupidly sacrificed it all for him, and he still wishes she would’ve never done that. He was supposed to die that day with Homelander. It had been his time.
Not hers.
She snores softly in his arms. Her heartbeat is faint, her breathing shallow. An hour ago, it used to be labored, each breath a struggle. She’s so hot he’s afraid she’ll melt in his embrace. He knows she doesn’t have long anymore. He’s running out of time.
Carefully, he stretches his arm to reach for the glistening yellow vial on the nightstand. He pops the lid open and stabs the syringe through the top, drawing it to the brim.
There’s a flicker of hesitation in his green eyes. What if he makes it worse? More painful? What if he kills her?
Victoria’s words ring in his ears. There’s a chance the virus accepts the cure. A loophole, if you will. The cure’s deadly for two-timers, but if they were also infected with the virus, the cure could piggyback on that. One in eighty rats had survived the ordeal before they stopped the trials. Ben didn’t understand the rest of the scientific mumbo-jumbo, but he knows those aren’t great odds.
Still, it’s something.
Ben doesn’t have the luxury to be picky about solutions, though. What he thought were minutes turn to seconds once her breathing stops entirely.
He rolls up the sleeves of the oversized shirt she’s wearing, one of his, and looks for a good angle on her forearm, just below the elbow. He’s not a doctor, he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing or where it should go best, but that one time he did heroin in the 80s, he’d put it exactly there, and it had been fine.
“I’m sorry, my love,” he mumbles into her hair and presses a kiss to the top of her head.
One rough prick through her steeled skin, and the needle is in. He empties the liquid in one swift motion before discarding the used syringe back on the nightstand. He cautiously slides out from underneath her then and ensures she’s lying comfortably on the mattress. He doesn’t want to leave her side, but he knows her powers might short-circuit soon.
Ben remembers the stories from other supes at the rehab clinic – the agonizing pain, the feeling of puking your organs out before the rest follows. Flickers of his own process trickle into his mind. He can’t remember most of it, but he remembers how they’d locked him up in a nuclear-proof prison at some point during the procedure.
For now, he prefers not die by a rain of acid if he gets to pick.
His hand gently caresses her head. He’s not even sure she’s still alive. She might not, and he may have been too late. All for nothing.
“Come on, baby,” he whispers and takes her hand in his. It feels cold and lifeless, but he still tries. He’s not ready to let go yet. He’s not sure he’ll ever be. “I know you can beat this shit like everything else. We’re this fucking close. Just a little more…”
And then, there’s a flicker of something – a weak tap of a finger against his palm. There’s movement behind her eyelids and a twitch of her brows.
“Sweetheart?”
There’s a groan, her hands gripping a fistful of bedsheets as she coils into the mattress, muscles contorting. He gently rubs her back, trying to help her as the pain tears through her.
“Hey, hey, you’re good. You’re alright,” he soothes and feels the guilt bubbling in his stomach. He hates that he did this to her, but he did it for love. The knowledge barely makes it better, however.
“Oh, fuck, Ben!”
She usually screams those exact words for different reasons, and Ben notes the soft tones of annoyance and anger that are lacing her voice.
“Did you give me the fucking cure?!”
Ben draws his lips into tight line and nods. Admittedly, she might not have fully consented to the procedure. But he prefers her furious with him for the rest of her life over dead. Besides, he’s her husband – shouldn’t the decision be his? Like pulling the plug? That’s a thing, right?
“Motherfucking–“
She bites down on her tongue and swallows her curses with some blood as another surge of pain takes control of her body. Her fingernails claw at her forearms as if she’s trying to scratch it out of her system. If Ben could compare it to anything, he’d probably go with a demon exorcism.
“You selfish fucking prick! You can’t even let me die in peace?!” she grits through her teeth, fighting another surge. She feels the nausea too, like a parasite trying to flee its host through her throat.
“Look, I’m fucking sorry, but I had to take the shot, alright?!”
Y/N groans in loud exhaustion, and Ben’s not entirely sure if it’s because of the pain or a little bit because of him, too.
“Ben, you need to fucking leave,” she presses through her lips, her stern gaze finding his.
He can tell by her look that she’s not saying it out of anger. She’s not saying it because she doesn’t want him to stay and never see him again. She says it because she’s trying to save his life.
Again. The fourth time.
Her name falls from his lips, but she shakes her head as she stumbles out of bed and pushes past him towards the bathroom.
“Leave,” she tells him with more urgency. “Close the door. Go now.”
Ben stills with a hand on the doorknob and looks at her. He can’t leave her like this, can he?
“I’ll be fine. I promise. Please go,” she says as if she can read his mind, steadying herself against the cool wall. She can feel it everywhere, trying to escape her body.
His breaths are ragged, his heart is hammering against his ribs. “I fucking love you,” he says through the sting of tears in his eyes. He says it like it’s the last time he gets to say it while she can still hear him.
She sends him a weak smile and mouths, ‘I love you, too.’
And all there’s left then for him to do is staring at a closed bedroom door. And waiting. Fucking waiting…
Part 3: Lovestruck – TOMORROW 💕
Ah yes the waiting game 😂🫶 Are you excited for the finale aka the happy end tomorrow? After this, they truly deserve it haha
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A big part of the Haikyuu rewatch is watching the characters interact and worrying that I fandomized their relationships too much in my head, particularly with the Karasuno first years because Hinata and Kags keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima at arm’s length for so long. But then I remember. Oh wait the squad is literally Hinata’s phone background by the end of the story. You don’t put a picture of just some dudes in your after school club as your phone background.
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#ane discovers character development takes time who wouldve thought#personally I think wthe change happens when Yachi and Tsuki start tutoring them#It’s around the time that there’s a shift in their bickering so that it’s more. ‘familial’ isnt the term I’m looking for but like#the kind of razzing you can only do with someone you know#Tsukishima for example starts bringing up specific things they studied together to dunk on Kageyama not remembering any of it#And another subtle thing I noticed- cause again I started going like ? did I fandomize my entire perception of Tadashi too much?#cause for the first season he doesn’t interact with ANYONE but Tsuki. Like practically not at all except to brag about Tsuki to others#But I have a sneaking suspicion that this starts to change around the time that he starts getting on the court more often as a pinch server#Probably because it gives him more courage#Cause I remember him having a lot to say in the Shiratorizawa match#and I remember him getting along with Yachi! So like I’m keeping an eye out for those changes#haikyuu!!#Also my favorite part about rewatching Haikyuu is how the reveal of Kag’s backstory really does affect. Your entire perception of him#Like I know its probably cause he’s my fav but I always feel so frustrated when people assume the worst of him and so sad that even Oikawa-#who knew him back when he was a very happy and shy kid- doesn’t even question why his personality had such a sudden shift#but then I realize that the only reason I’m so aware of these changed is because Kageyama has ‘opened up to me’ as an audience member befor#Furudate waited hundreds off chapters to tell us that he’s been grieving a loved onesince a little before the very first scene of the manga#So that it would feel like we earned it#Idk how to explain it like when you meet someone who’s hurting it takes a lot of effort and patience for them to tell you why#in the same way bc we stuck by the story for so long and watching Kageyama learn to be more open#we got the privilege of learning why he was closed off in the same place#but Kageyama didnt give anyone at his old school the chance to stick around- not Kindaichi or Kunimi or anyone#So it makes total sense#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#yamaguchi tadashi#tsukishima kei#yachi hitoka#karasuno first years#my post
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My indecisive ass can't choose what person to ship Kakashi or Naruto with so! Polyamory it is then!
#DISCLAIMER KAKASHI AND NARUTO ARE SHIPPED WITH SEPERATE PEOPLE#NOT EACH OTHER#GOOD LORD THAT MAN KNEW HIM AS A CHILD#Polyamory you have never steered me wrong before#kakaobi#But as a tragedy#their initial dynamic as children was fun#but the tragedy of their relationship after is MUCH more fun to me#but I'm also not opposed to rin x obito x kakashi#kakagai#kakairu#Gai being someone who knows Kakashi super intimately and understands him because he was there to witness Kakashi's life go to shit#and was there for him during his breakdowns and loved him through his worst#Iruka coparenting Naruto with Kakashi#Iruka being an outsider who learnt of Kakashi through seconhand information and gossip and letting that shape his view of the man#but then actually getting closer to him and learning about the man behind the soldier#and accepting Kakashi for his faults and flaws#he shows Kakashi that there are people out there who are willing to get to know him#the REAL him#even though they might not have witnessed all that had happened to him first hand#I am so so normal about the parallels between Naruto and Iruka and Naruto and Kakashi#hatake kakashi#naruto#naruto uzumaki#NARUTO IS A BIROMANTIC KING AND WE LOVE HIM FOR IT#sasunaru#yes I get it's kinda obvious but also#naruto is so Not Normal About Sasuke At All#I want to study his brain for science#I don't need to explain this choice much there's already plenty of arguments out there about sasunaru
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