#the more I like you the more you suffer

[thetentaclecommander]

The Buzzing of Flies

The Buzzing of Flies ________________________________________________ Rated M for violence and suggestive situations. Fandom: Resident Evil Main Ship: Brad Vickers/Gwen Parsons (OC) Side Ship: Trent Haddens (OC)/Gwen Parsons (OC) Implied Side Ships: Albert Wesker/Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield/Jill Valentine Chapters: 2/2 CW: past adult/teen (fake ID mention/implied in past snapshots; Brad had to have some colossal dirt on him to abandon his counter terrorist level team like that over a pack of 'rabid dogs' imo so this fic gives him a reason), age gap (21 and 35 at end of fic), Brad being a genuinely conflicted coward who was easily cowed into all his choices, on screen character deaths including one of a child, Nemesis being Nemesis, unplanned pregnancy/secret love child, paranoia as if Brad's life has been under extensive surveillance for years, blackmail, survivor's guilt (full tag list on AO3) Summary: Lots of plot filling in gaps between the AU and RE3 centering around Brad Vickers. ________________________________________________ Excerpt: “I could have made him stop. But, you chose to refuse my deal and so both of their blood is on your hands. Pity.” The voice on the pay phone reverberated with cold finality in his ear. Brad could only sink to his knees, the receiver swaying and echoing the droning dial-tone. XxxxX Thank God. I finally got onto the team. Finally, I have something good to write home about to ya, ma! Guess what? I get to fly like I've always said I would. Yeah, I can see you now, making that face. But I'm not a soldier, I just fly. The sky never hurt anyone. I feel like a free bird when I fly. Like an eagle, any plane glides easily in the sky under my hands. I can conquer anything as long as I can fly. And then I found a bluebird, dancing around in her bright skirts, her cheer as beautiful as her smile. Oh, I forgot to mention her- A hand quickly leans down to erase the last two sentences; before furiously balling up the paper before tossing it into the wastebasket. The new arrival met with a few other discarded letters to the cadence of a pen tapping on a wood surface. XxxxX 35364.vid The flicker of tracking lines almost detracted from the video; a man is seen skittishly looking around the small office. He picked up a framed picture off the desk while combing nervously through his brown hair. Strewn around the office were posters and plaques depicting RPD department insignia as well as one that stuck out brighter than the rest for the separate S.T.A.R.S. department. He had turned the small silver framed photo around in his visibly shaking hands – containing a small family shot with a large bear of a man sticking out prominently - As the man fiddled with the small picture in his hand, a reflection beamed the camera flooding it temporarily with lens flare. For a moment, the man glanced directly into the camera, trying to figure out what he was staring at. As he rose to glare closer, the door opened and the man could only turn towards the new visitor. The clip then began to track thicker lines across the screen, making either person hard to make out. (Continue reading The Buzzing of Flies on A03)

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[ruporas]

need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[whatdoinose]

you don't stop getting percieved as whatever sex they assume you first had when you come out btw.

come out as a trans man to your school? youre a weird girl that is also trans. you are hated. you have 0 of the privelege of being treated as not a woman and all the horribleness of bigotry. you are whatever gender that will harm you most.

.

"oh sorry u cant go on this school trip because yr not a girl and they dont wanna room with you and if you room with any men you are horribly unsafe"

"oh sorry you don't wanna be sexually harassed? well yr a man who cares? this is punching up. be a man why are you upset?"

"mm you have no say here actually cuz youre a GIRL and girls don't have a voice here. ur body my choice tehe"

and many more.

.

all of these things can be directed at the same person. you are not more priveleged than other trans people cuz some losers out there have the most basic radfem ass understanding of how oppression works. you culd pass perfectly but the moment they know you are trans you will experience the harmful intersectionality between misogyny and transphobia. to deny that ever happened and that there are complex experiences out there is to deny trans people of their oppression. no matter your intention it is horrible and self harming to the community.

[gascreates]

a new star

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)

im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in

[nenayaquisieras]

Simon has always been confused on why you gift him toys. Sure, most of the gifts you gave him were some of the things he liked. Bourbon, masks, gloves, make up for him to smudge his eyes with, some daggers and knives. Things that we're useful for him, just him. But later, you gifted him a toy airplane. He makes a comment about it, saying he is not a child anymore and you were better off giving it to Johnny instead.

"No, this is specifically for you, take it."

When he gets to him room, he walks toward his trash can, opening it with the tip of his boot. He gives one more look at the toy, his mood souring before throwing it into the trash. He goes on about his day, training, signing paper work, drills. Doing anything to ignore the pain stinging memories that the toy brought back. Emotions that were buried thousands of feet deep it could reach hell itself. Later, he lies awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, avoiding looking at the cylinder shape that's calling for him in his peripheral.

Fuck.

He pulls the covers off vigorously and stomps over to the trash can. He is standing over it like he's trying to intimidate it, as if it was an enemy he's trying to get rid of in battle. To anyone else, the scene would look comical.

He sighs to himself and reaches down to take out the toy he so cruelly threw away. He sets it on his desk and quickly walks toward his bed, facing away from his desk.

The next day, he wakes up feeling different. He swears he sees his room more vibrant, more lively. That energy follows him through out the day, having his other teammates notice his rather bright mood.

You catch him in the hallway. Pulling him aside to ask him about the paper work you left at his desk this morning. Of course, he notices the way you smile brightly, more so than usual. But he notices that you're not looking at him. More like looking at something next to him.

"What's got you so cheery?"

You turn to look up at him, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"I just..." You take a quick glance at the spot next to him, before bringing your eyes back upon his.

"I just hope you liked your gift." The same bright smile appearing on your face.

He stares at you, examining your words. Your expression.

You think you see his eyes crinkle a bit.

"Yea,"

"I liked it."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Burning Rotten Bridges

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[teh-inggris]

pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head

[mumblesplash]

in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem

[wardingshout]

you know those really big bunnies but also those really tiny bunnies... that's it, thanks for your time

[aesthetic-uni]

Miles “Who’s Morales” vs Gwen “Gwwwwanda” vs Pavtir “You seem like a nice young woman I do not know” FIGHT

[medicalunprofessional]

sorry guys they finally showed me peak fiction . Its called “phantom of the paradise”

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Some Bumblebee and mother Ratchet :)

I dont know if that's the artstyle but is Ratchet crying?? That's kinda sweet if he is 😭

Here's some G1 shots where it's just them cause I'm a sucker for these 3

[benevolenterrancy]

Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature