#the month of my birthday is honestly really difficult as a college student

[a9saga]

the warning - money // happy birthday to me bitch

[welcome-to-sparkys]

[My] Fanon Ness

I must stress that this was helped made possible by @raglansragdoll Please give them love too!!! Also I know I have requests I'm working on them ^^;;

Full Name: Ness Wilhelm Scott

Age: 23 years old

Birthday: June 26, 1977

Gender: Genderqueer gay man (very closeted and internalized transphobia beginning of story | also period accuracy he wouldn't really state it this way, modern times he'd def have neos and such but that be an au)

Pronouns: He/Him

World building under the cut!

Ness is an absolute nerd. He's currently in college getting his master's degree in business, minor in theatre. He's been working at Sparky's since his freshman year of college to help pay student loans and such. He lives in a quaint, cramped apartment downtown near his college. He likes his coworkers, the gossipy waitresses, and his manager. He's never met the owner, though (🐇).

He loves to be in-the-know. He eavesdrops constantly at work, and it's honestly the best place to gather bits and bobs about the local townsfolk, cryptids, and other oddities. With his flamboyant nature and such a small town, he's also well-known and trusted. The grannies who come every Sunday after church services, crochet, and tip well trade tea for knowing about his personal life. Got a girlfriend yet? How's that degree going? How's your parents?

Though he's stuck his nose where it isn't supposed to be, plenty of times. Back when he was 19, him and a few buddies broke into their school's boiler room because rumor was it's haunted and had a skull of a pilgrim girl. Needless to say, that wasn't true, just a theory even, and he spent the night in the county jail. He's gotten more discreet since then, now preferring to work alone.

He heard about Freddy's soon after and became obsessed. He asked anyone and everyone who would listen about the place. Who owned it? Why did it shut down? After a few months, he started putting some details together. Five children missing so close to the place shutting down, their bodies never found? He could smell a theory brewing.

He's the reason William had to start frequently hiring security guards. Vanessa was usually enough to ensure his prized possession didn't get vandalized or broken into. Well... Until Ness got involved. At first, the gate wasn't even locked. It was just some simple chain. Then he learned how to lockpick. Once the padlock was put in place he "borrowed" the note with instructions from a late security guard.

He always wanted to snag something from the pizzeria. He brought his camera he bought through saving tips and snapped photos of literally everything. He once left with a shard of glass from a pinball machine, but he then got weird feelings about the animatronics. He took notes. After a few months he had several notebooks full of his scribbles, photos, and bits of rubble or memorabilia. His little pencil topper he actually stole from the prize counter inside the pizzeria and is his favorite find.

It got a lot more difficult once Mike got involved. Mike caught him the first night, interrogated him, and threw him out. It didn't deter Ness, and in fact it relit the spark that had started to fizzle out. He grew more determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. He started a blog, documenting his theories and thoughts online. It didn't gain much steam, but he had a few fans from around the country.

Boy was it awkward when Mike came into the diner the first time. Ness hid, for the first time ever, in the back. It worried his coworkers because he wasn't one to avoid meeting someone new. Quite the opposite. Ness did peek, once, only to be met by Mike's ragged, sleep-deprived glare.

They didn't talk the first few times, but Abby was fascinated by Ness. Her "friends" were too, telling her that they recognized the waiter. She demanded and begged Mike to take her to the run down diner again and again, and eventually he obliged.

Eventually, the two warmed up to each other.

Ness went with Mike during the Climax of the film. Vanessa still makes an appearance and gets stabbed, but she's more a background character. Ness, Mike, and Abby get out of the crumbling building by the skin of their noses.

Mike and Abby become regulars, even having "their" table. Ness knows their order by heart, and always has something new to share with Abby.

And then securitywaiter :3

My AO3 | Masterlist

[oil-bh]

doodle and activity notice, activity notice under the cuy in case you’d rather just look at the art rather than hear some shpeal or whatever

cquackity my beloved 🫶 this is specifically a drawing of valentín, one of our hosts. youve seen him around a good bit. got fancy new pointed vampire ears and a sweet new fake eye !

So regarding an activity notice. We’ve mentioned before, but we’re a part-time college student, and that takes up a decent bit of time, but that isn’t really the main thing we’re talking about

Avoiding details as best as possible, we’re going through some shit. A lot of shit, honestly. Have been for a long while. Um. A very recent event has left us especially shaken up. It’s extremely difficult and distressing to process and since we currently cannot access any form of proper therapy, we’re kind of just trying to manage on our own and with support from close friends and partners

Any questions about what this event is will be deleted and ignored, since it’s not your business

General mental health plus that event has been kicking our trash especially worse lately. Barely been able to draw, grades have been slipping a bit, socializing has become even more limited than before. So we won’t be too active on Tumblr for a while, other than reblogging things or maybe occasional posts about funny things that happened. No art for a while

That being said, we kinda just wanted to say something so that nobody would worry if we suddenly disappeared for a month or longer. Just a notice that hey, things have been happening and we won’t be as active as before for a little while

Anyway, good timezone :) make sure to drink water, eat, take any meds you need, rest up. Take care of yourselves

On a happier note, our birthday is in 24 days! We’ll be eighteen ^_^

[mins-fins]

TO MY FIRST LOVE (K.JH)

SUMMARY . . . a letter to his first love, kum junhyeon, and the memories that follow.

PAIRING . . . kum junhyeon x male!reader

GENRE . . . fluff+angst (deadly combination)

WARNINGS . . . none i'm pretty sure!

WORD COUNT . . . 777 (wow shorter than i expected!)

NOTES . . . here we go with junhyeon!! haha, can't tell if this is supposed to be sad or cute but you can decide that for yourself

dear kum junhyeon,

it's been a while, it has. i like to think that i'm a consistent person, but the last time we talked was almost three months ago, and i just wanna check up on you! i hope your okay, how's the performance art major going? i know your passing with no issue, you've always been insanely talented, i have no doubt that your the star student, especially with how much of a lovable person you are.

i hope you haven't forgotten me, because i haven't forgotten you. i know you've responded to my letters, all of them, but it's been three months, and even though this might make me sound like a clingy bitch, i assume you'd forget me already, because.. i just don't really think i'm memorable. i also just wouldn't be surprised if you forgot me at all, because your busy and having fun, i wish i could be there with you, but the world really just hates my guts.

if your interested, art has been going well. my teachers have told me that my paintings are so good that they could get accepted into an art museum someday, you told me that once, remember? when we were twelve and you saw my painting of that house by the lake, you told me i was gonna become the next 'da vinci', which resulted in me punching you in the shoulder.

i dislike thinking about the fact that we haven't talked for the past few months. i constantly check my phone and frown when i see no notifications from you. did you know, the picture i chose for you is the one from your twelfth birthday, when i put icing on your noise. you always said that photo was embarrassing, but you looked cute, even though you would always vehemently deny that.

it's difficult these days, you know student loans and all, but thinking about you always seems to help me forget about all the horrible stuff going on in my life (you better not call me cringey in the return letter), because.. i don't know, i just like thinking about you for some reason. years ago, i could have never imagined myself saying that, but now, it's kind of hard to go on without you, if you get what i mean.

i could never imagine my life without you years ago..

i hate writing like this, because.. well— i sound stupid when i write about stuff like this. sometimes, i wish i could have convinced my parents to not move me to new york for college, but then again, i am "successful" now, so i guess in the end it all amounted to something. of course, i still have a long way to go, i'm only nineteen, there's still so much for me to do and accomplish, but it's disappointing to think i have done this all without you by my side.

i still have that painting you made me, your a really talented artist, i can't believe you called it "just a small hobby for when i'm bored", when you've made some better paintings than me, and that's saying something. i miss you, like a lot, junhyeon, writing my feelings on paper makes me feel stupid, because expressing myself through writing has always been difficult for me to do, as i've told you before.

i know what we have has always been a little complicated, our feelings are mutual are they not? i'd like to think i'm right in this instance, hopefully, because it would be super embarrassing if i was wrong, but at the same time, how long will it be until we see each other again? how long will it be until i actually get to see you face to face and tell you how i feel all over again?

this is getting kinda depressing, sorry, i just— i really miss you a lot okay? this may come off as desperate and stupid, but honestly, it gets kinda difficult knowing your all the way across the ocean and i could be right there with you if the circumstances were different, but alas, not everything is gonna be in my favor, i realize that now.

anyway, kum junhyeon! it'll be nice to catch up much more personally sometimes, if we ever get the chance to see each other in person once again, which is probably highly unlikely but hey! we all need to have at least a little bit of hope.

of course, make sure to take care of yourself, love, stay hydrated, and get a full eight hours of sleep everyday, i'll talk to you again soon :).

xoxo,♡ y/n

[401bmma4]

✴ Exploring Horizons

By Delos Reyes, Janalexis D.

Click here to play the Podcast! ♬

PODCAST SCRIPT 📃 .˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.

[OPENING MUSIC FADES IN]

Janalexis: Oh. Hello there. Has everyone been well? Before anything else, let me introduce myself first. My name is Janalexis Delos Reyes, and I actually just celebrated my birthday this last week of May! Sad to say, I am finally out of my teen years and my 20s have now welcomed me. Well, moving forward on my college life — I am already in 2nd year, taking BMMA, or Bachelor in Multimedia Arts at STI College Cubao. How has it been? Surely tiring, it is. I still get to have fun though, since BMMA really is one of my most dream course where I have already predicted that I would really enjoy learning there.

[OPENING MUSIC FADES OUT]

[ELECTRONIC BACKGROUND MUSIC FADES IN]

Janalexis: Now that I am already in my 2nd year and second semester… Oh, yeah! The end of the school year is quickly approaching. Exciting and sad at the same time, but at least I will finally get to take a long rest for a few months again. As for the courses I am taking this second semester, there is this one that have really piqued my interest aside from our major subjects. Writing for New Media, yes, that is the one! I have always loved writing and journaling in social media or even just in my note's app, so being able to learn from this subject felt exciting. Now that our way of communicating with one another kept innovating, through new media, it is not just limited to words anymore. Writing in new media is composed of images, comics, animation, presentations, websites, and videos. It is an on-demand access to content anywhere, anytime, interactive feedback, and creative participation. Amazing, is not it? I guess you already have an idea about what my podcast topic will all be about today, now that I have made some introduction for it.

Janalexis: Talking about my experiences while learning the Writing for New Media course — that is what our topic will be! The current generation was born during the peak of technological progress over the years. They were designed for a world where social media feed browsing is the norm and there has been internet access for some time. The learners of today are the members of the digital generation. The majority of today's teaching was customized to the students' level of experience with digital media. A PowerPoint presentation has replaced the traditional whiteboard or blackboard layout used for teaching. Reading that was once deliberate and slow has now become a skim and scan of appropriate material. For most people, especially writers and educators, the changes are overwhelming. However, the majority of digital gurus believe that there aren't many differences between how the previous age and the current generation consume information. The digital generation recognizes the depth of knowledge they can extensively and precisely explore because of the abundance of information and ease of access to it.

Janalexis: As for my journey in the course Writing for New Media, my expectations for it is to not be that difficult as we also enjoy learning. And I am glad that it actually went that way! Especially when our professor seems to usually have fun while teaching us every lecture classes. Shout out to Ma'am Francis! Because you know, when your professor tends to act like that while teaching, it will effectively impact the students positively most of the time. As for me, I like it that way as I would certainly feel that the professor has truly enthusiasm with doing their job, alongside interacting with the students. Honestly, there are times where the teaching method felt a little too quick to process — still effective, nevertheless.

Janalexis: New ways of writing, reading, and interacting were introduced by the development of new media technologies, particularly the Internet — and these have changed over the last few decades in response to advances in technology. Later, these newly acquired abilities gave rise to entirely new cultures adapted to the writers and online community's readership. The course truly helped me understand the new media platforms and the writing standards that go along with them. It also taught me how to use those platforms in more efficient and productive ways that will help me grow not only as a student, but also as a person. Twitter, now called as X, for example. That is probably my most used social media app ever since, for whenever I want to be updated of something, I would automatically open that one. As much as it has positive impacts toward millions of users, it also has a lot of negative ones — fake news and draining opinions coming from different users you would pass by every scroll you make. Hence, I have learned here to keep doing fact checks whenever I read news and learn to think first before tweeting or searching something so it would not have negative effects onto anyone, as well for myself.

Janalexis: Since the main objective of new media writing is to spread ideas and news from one mind to another, I believe that the best contribution I could bring to new media writing, based on everything I have learned throughout this course, would be to ensure that the information or message I post is always clear and understandable across a variety of audiences. What we write must also have credibility and acknowledge biases as disinformation, unreliable news, pure gossip and rumor are becoming increasingly prevalent in this socially mediated age. Writing for print media is different from writing for new media across disciplines since the latter's content is more highly accessible to a wider range of users, hence content creators must take into consideration about the nature of the audience.

There are so much more to talk about in this podcast, but I think that is it for now. It is no doubt that I have had a good experience while being educated from this course, Writing for New Media. Thank you for listening to my podcast! Once again, I am Janalexis Delos Reyes from BMMA401 and I am delighted to experience a wonderful journey while learning Writing for New Media!

[ELECTRONIC BACKGROUND MUSIC FADES OUT]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[amidleo]

Every Second Counts!

Hello, I'm Leorey A. Agbayani, and let me share you how my college life has been going so far.

Let me begin by taking a trip down memory lane, all the way from 2020.

My college life did not actually have a happy beginning as I thought it would be. Rather, it was probably one of the darkest days in my life where I literally got informed a day before my birthday that I won't be able to enroll for the year because of financial issues.

For a year and 2 months, I stayed up in the mountains of Apayao. There were feelings that I could not help but to eat me up during those times. There was jealousy; I was upset by the fact that I was left behind while the people I know were finally entering college, it almost felt like I was a downcast. There was also regret; you know how the saying goes "nasa huli ang pagsisisi", and I thought that I should have done something to avoid the situation, but then it happened, and I had no choice but to suck it all up instead.

Skipping to September 2021, I finally had the privilege to enter college, and officially start by enrolling at San Beda University-Manila as a psychology student.

Yes, San Beda University was my former school, it was the university that I also graduated senior high school from. Basically, I'm a transferee from the city.

I honestly did not have much memories during my first year of college, mainly because classes were held online, and it was so difficult for me that time to make friends, so I had to rely on myself most of the time especially during examination seasons. There weren't any photos captured as well, most of my classmates live in Manila, while I took online classes here in Tuguegarao City, so distance was the biggest factor that time.

Although, there were struggles, and challenges I experienced, especially since it was my first time taking online class, so I was clueless on how this kind of set-up works. But I guess being tech-savvy has its own advantages so I caught up right away.

Now, let's move right away to my second year.

Before enrolling for second year, I was quite upset with the fact that I had to transfer schools. At first, I was really against it because I did not want to lose my streak of becoming a Dean's Lister, and I thought that once I transferred, I had no chances of becoming one anymore because I'll be transitioning to become an irregular student.

But life does not want to have it in your own way all the time...

Eventually, I transferred for my second year at St. Paul University Philippines. It was pretty devastating for me, but I guess I got caught up with my emotions too much that I judged my future already.

Little did I know that my college life in St. Paul University Philippines is where REAL college experience begins...

When I say REAL, I meant I had to face challenges and struggles in person, since classes were now conducted face-to-face. Knowing how shy I am to interact with unfamiliar people, and the fact that I had to adjust to the new environment were already struggles for me.

During my first month in the university, it was pretty lonely for me. I had to go lunch by myself, I walked around the school lots of times, it was also SO hard for me to start a conversation with my new classmates. My routine that time was always like: Go to school -> Study -> Go home immediately. I could not help it, especially that I am shy.

However, skipping down to October is the time I finally had my own circle.

In just a short span of time, I was able to give them my trust, share my personal secrets, and stories, and along with cracking jokes, tears were also spilled. It felt l have known them for years already in just the short amount of time we had. People can say it is cheesy, but you know how the saying goes, Sila ang pahinga ko, cause every time I am with them, I feel at ease. I feel that I can set all the problems and exhaustions aside, and be in the moment with them, either by sharing laughs or tears together.

Other than having our fun moments together, I also loved the fact how we encourage each other in our studies. We share notes together, we study together either in the university's library, or in cafes. We rely on each other so much, and did not have that competitive vibe with one another because we only have one goal in mind, and that is to graduate altogether in college.

However, of course, it is not always sunshine and rainbows in friendships, but there could also be storms to go through. And I can say I think it's quite normal for such occurrence, like misunderstandings, petty fights or big fights to happen among friendships. But I do not see these fights as something negative, rather, it is somehow a way to build the bond stronger, and be bare with our feelings to each other.

So far, I can say that my college life has been a rollercoaster ride. It surely has its ups and downs, and I will make sure to prepare myself for more in the remaining years of my college. In terms of my course, which is psychology, it has been pretty great for me, honestly. I take so much pride on the fact that I am doing well in my major subjects (disregard the minor ones), but overall, I am quite satisfied with my academic performance.

If I have to share on how to survive college life as a psychology student, or in general, I have to say that people should know how to prioritize, and manage their time. Massed practice should not be done at all times.

And in order to survive, we make sacrifices, whenever we feel like quitting, we are only asking for help, and motivation. Let's not dwell on our failures, but serve it as a driving force for us to do better in the future.

Lastly, if there is anything I learned in college in my on-going journey. I would have to say that

We should surround ourselves with the right and good people. Find a support system that you know will be very helpful throughout our college life.

College is a one-time opportunity. When we have our jobs in the future, our college life will be one of those things we cannot help but to reminisce, and wish that we can go back in time, so, if we want to have the most memorable college journey...

Make the most out of it!

[streetlight11]

Birthday Gift

Summary: If you told your younger self 4 years ago that you would be in a happy, long distance relationship with someone who lives miles away from you up till today, your younger self would have laughed at you. But here you are, 4 years later, happy and totally in love with the boy you met online after he randomly followed you on social media. But you've never once met him in person. On your 24th birthday, you were getting a birthday gift that you never thought you would receive so soon.

Theme: long distance relationship au, strangers to lovers

Genre: super fluffy

WC: 2k

Pairing: Bae Jacob x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! This has been in my drafts for quite a bit so here it is. This fic is too too fluffy, even for me who wrote this. Cobie is such a sweetheart, I can't-... Anyways, I hope you like this as much as I enjoy writing it! :)

Being in a long distance relationship is difficult as it needs to have a huge amount of trust, understanding, discipline and a lot of reassurance. However, despite all the fights you may have due to miscommunications and most of the time just lack of physical affection, you still cherish and love your boyfriend very much. You met your boyfriend online as he added you on social media a few years back. You clicked on his profile only to see that he lived in South Korea.

He looks to be a professional dancer and also a full time student in one of the colleges there. Not to mention, super good looking too. However, you weren’t really expecting anything at that point of time only because you don’t really believe in long distance relationships. You’ve always thought it might be hard and that it will never last.

So you just accepted his request and followed him back. The next day, you were in class when you got a DM from someone. And since you rarely got a DM from any guys, you were surprised to see his username pop up.

You clicked the message after about 10 minutes or so to see what he texted you, thinking he was just another weirdo who wants to scam you.

His message said;

“Hello! I saw your account and I really love your content. I’m sorry if this is too weird. I understand if you don’t wish to reply.”

With that, you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as you didn’t know why but you began to type your reply, “Haha thank you! That’s so nice of you to say that.” You hit the send button and a few minutes later, he replied. That’s when you began to chat with him for quite a while before he asked.

“I’m so sorry, where have my manners gone? I’m Bae Joon Young but you can just call me Jacob. And you are?”

You replied to him with a smile as your fingers tapped against your smartphone, “I’m Y/F/N but you can call me Y/N.”

Ever since then, you have been chatting with him over DMs for quite a while, just to see if you can sort of trust and be comfortable with him or not. It took you almost 5 months to finally add him in your kakao talk.

Both of you have already done both voice and video call which means you already knew how each other looked and you seemed to have grown your trust in him. Jacob seemed like a genuine guy as you found out that he was your age internationally. Months became years and both of you have already introduced your partners to your parents.

However, at first, your parents weren’t too sure about this whole long distance relationship thing. But they didn’t want to disappoint you so instead of asking you to break up and find a local guy, they let you carry on with this relationship if you believe that it would work. Surprisingly, it took your parents less than a month to get warm with Jacob as they finally got comfortable every time he video calls you.

It has been 4 years since you two agreed to pursue this long distance relationship as it marks your 4th anniversary today. You were just lounging in your room when Jacob decided to skype call you through his desktop.

You accepted the call as he smiled adorably into the camera and waved to you, making you giggle as you waved back. “Happy anniversary baby.” Jacob said.

“Happy anniversary my love. Where are you?” You asked.

“I’m in my dorm. Younghoon’s out with our friends.”

“Why aren’t you with them?” You pout.

“I wanted to celebrate our anniversary.”

“Baby, you didn’t have to, you could have called me after.”

“Don’t you want to see me?” He asked sadly.

“Of course I do. It’s just… I feel like I might be the reason why you may not hang out with your friends as often as you do.”

“Baby, listen to me. I’m so lucky to have you as my girlfriend, dang am I lucky to have you reply to my message 4 years ago. I never thought that we could actually last this long but hey, look at us now.” You smiled as you looked down at your hands, only to look back up and see him pout.

“I love you so much, you know that right? And I can never ask for someone to replace you.” He said, making you sigh.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” You asked softly, making him chuckle.

“How I wish I could enter my computer screen and just hug you and kiss you.” He whispered, making you smile sadly, knowing that could never happen, or at least it wouldn’t happen any time soon. You continue talking to him until you fall asleep, making him chuckle softly at your figure. Looking at you through his monitor screen endearingly.

“Goodnight my sweetheart.” He said those last words softly before he ended the call.

Days slowly became weeks and it was the same routine again and again but neither of you were getting bored or tired from it. He would always reassure you that he still loves you and that he would never hurt your feelings in any possible way. It was your birthday that day and your parents had booked a restaurant for you to celebrate and have your birthday dinner with your family, like how it has always been for the past few years.

It would be you, both your parents, your elder sister and her husband along with your 5 years old niece.

You chose to wear a white floral blouse with a pair of denim jeans as you paired it with your heeled sandals. You were in the car with your parents, on your way to the restaurant when Jacob voice called you.

“Hello?” He said.

“Hi Love.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m heading to a restaurant with my family for my birthday dinner. What about you?”

“Oh wow. Where to, this time? I’m just out with the boys.”

“I honestly don’t know. They didn’t tell me.” You laughed as your mother then smiled and spoke up from the front passenger seat.

“Hello dear. How are you sweetie?”

With that, you scooted to the centre of the back seat and put your call on speaker mode. Just then, you heard Jacob respond. “Hello Ma’am, I’m doing well. I wish I could be there to celebrate with all of you.” Jacob said, making you smile sadly as your parents let out a soft chuckle.

“It’s okay son, one of these days, you’ll get to meet our daughter and us.” Your dad said as you could already hear a smile etching on Jacob’s lips.

“Yes sir. I hope so.” Your boyfriend said before you giggled as you turned the speaker mode back off before bringing your phone to your ears. “Hmm, babe I think we’re here. I’ll call you again after dinner okay?” You said into the line.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t worry. Have fun tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too…” You paused for a moment as he waited for you to continue.

“I miss you Jacob.” You couldn’t help but whisper as a tear rolled down your cheek, making him frown.

“Baby please don’t cry. Promise me you won’t cry.” He said, making you nod as you sniffled your cries.

“I’ll try.” You said as you then bid him goodbye before ending the call.

Your sister had already arrived as you and your parents went to the front entrance where a waiter was waiting. Your dad told him that they’ve already made a reservation under your dad’s name as the waiter checked his list and soon smiled at the three of you. “Right this way.” The waiter said as he soon guided you towards the back of the restaurant where there were private rooms with opaque curtains to block the view of those sitting inside.

You were walking last as you texted your boyfriend in the process.

Once you were at the booth, your dad asked you to enter first, in which you got confused but nonetheless did as you were told. However, the minute you pushed the curtains open, your eyes immediately landed on the one person sitting at the very end of the table nearest to the entrance.

You felt your whole body freeze as you couldn’t find the right words. He was there, right in front of you, in one piece. It was him. It was your boyfriend. He was really there physically. You couldn’t believe this.

“Wha- I- When… Omg… Omg…” You whispered as everyone laughed, only for Jacob to chuckle as he got up, making you feel so flustered.

“Happy Birthday my love.” He said, as he walked up to you but you were still frozen in shock.

“Surprise!” Your family said in unison happily.

You locked eyes with Jacob as he engulfed you in a hug. That’s when you began to bawl your eyes out against his shoulder as you could finally feel his arms around your body, holding you tight as though he was afraid of losing you. Jacob laughed softly as he let you cry into his shoulder, while he gently rubs soothing circles in your back to calm you down.

You had your arms wrapped around his waist securely, afraid that if you let go, he would disappear. “Shh, don’t cry baby. Don’t cry.” He whispered in your ear, only for you to cry harder. He laughed even more as your mother and sister were already tearing up at the side.

You pull away from him as he gently wipes your tears with his thumbs. “You’re here… You’re actually here…” You whispered, your breath shaky as he nodded, cupping your face softly in his hands. “Yes love. I’m here. I’m really here.” Jacob said, making you pout. Still unable to believe this was real.

Jacob smiled widely as he pulled you into a hug again, only for you to bury your face in his chest, feeling him draw lazy patterns into your waist. After nearly 30 minutes of you holding onto him and being in your own little bubble, the 7 of you finally settled down to celebrate your birthday dinner. After dinner was over, your parents offered Jacob to stay over at your family home for the next two weeks that he is staying here in your country before he flies back to Korea.

Jacob thanked your parents for letting him stay over as you couldn’t stop holding his hand. The way his hands fit in yours so perfectly as he showered you with so much love and warmth, just like how he did through all the video calls and texts.

That night when everyone had gone home, your parents knew that you probably wanted to spend time with him so they let him sleep in your room.

After both of you had already changed and were getting ready for bed, he pulled you onto his side as you rested your head on his chest. Jacob hugs you close as you tighten your grasp on his shirt. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he glanced down a little.

“I’m just so happy you’re here. I still need time to process this information.” You confessed.

Jacob chuckled softly as he whispered, “I’m really happy to be able to finally see you in person. This means so much to me.”

“Me too.”

Just then, the room fell quiet as you just looked into each other’s eyes, seeing the sparkles coating both your pupils as he gently caressed your cheek. Right at that moment, Jacob seemed to read your mind as he gently pulled you up a little. Without much words, Jacob decides to ask the one question that both of you had in mind.

“Can I kiss you?”

With that, you smiled shyly as you nodded. Jacob smiles in victory as he leans down softly to finally feel your soft lips on his and it has never felt so magical. Both of you took in this new feeling as he kissed you sweetly.

You spent the next two weeks with him, just making the most of your time. A month after he went back to Korea, it was your turn to give him a surprise visit as you managed to book a flight to Korea, asking for Jacob’s help to fetch you at the airport and bring you over to his apartment.

You stayed with Jacob for two days before surprising Jacob for his birthday party. Jacob did such a good job at taking care of you and making sure that you weren’t lost in Korea.

Despite the long distance, it definitely made you two grow stronger and gain even more trust in one another. It was a blessing in disguise that you accepted his request 4 years ago.

And you regretted none of it.

~~~

[gummygowon]

polaroids | park seonghwa

word count: 1.3k

genre: college student reader! x seonghwa, fluff

established relationship!

warnings: it’s so fluffy you’re gonna die

a/n: i am deeply in love with park seonghwa oh my god and writing this made me fall deeper lmao

“y/n, isn’t it almost 10 o’clock?” your coworker asked as she glanced back up at the clock in the break room.

“huh?” you perked your head up from the table, snapping to the clock, she was looking at. “oh fuck, thank you so much, ryujin.”

you were adding the last finishing touches to your boyfriend’s card for his birthday right after your shift ended for work. yes, you knew that procrastinating any birthday card, especially your boyfriend of four years card was extremely disappointing and sad but to be fair you were a college student who worked two part-time jobs, one at a local ramen shop and as an assistant at a hair salon. however, you finished his actual present earlier in the week and was really excited to give it to him. 

you quickly gathered your stuff from your locker and said your goodbyes to the rest of your coworkers, making sure to say thank you again to ryujin. 

you clocked out and sprinted to your car as you dug into your bag looking for your phone. you called hongjoong immediately, as you got into your car.

“hong?”

you heard him try to catch his breath as quickly as possible, “yes, y/n?”

“you guys are still at the practice room, right?” you asked, as you slipped your key into the ignition. 

“yeah, we won’t be done for another hour or so.” 

“ok, perfect.” you smiled, grateful at least one thing was going right. “i’m going to stop by to see seonghwa, okay?”

“got it ma’am, do you need me to stall if he tries to leave early?” 

“yes, please. that would be great. thank you so much.”

“of course, y/n. hwa’s been so moody since he hasn’t seen you in forever. so i’ll do whatever it takes to get him happy again.”

you were really glad your boyfriend was lucky enough to get along so well with all of his members who adored and took care of him as much as they could when you weren’t around. 

“thank you so much, hongjoong. i’ll be there soon.” you ended the call after the two of you said your byes. 

you had went over a brief plan of what you wanted to do for seonghwa’s birthday with ateez’s leader about a week ago. since the both of your guys’ schedules was jam packed since the beginning of month, the two of you had rarely enough time to see each other on the weekends. even though you guys lived in the same city, finding time to meet up was hard. but you understood that the day seonghwa decided he wanted to become an idol and he understood that keeping a relationship with someone as busy as him was going to be difficult. 

you and seonghwa had talked about the difficulties the two of you could face when he debuted but you guys made a promise to each other that no matter how busy you guys were, you would somehow make time for the other. 

the love in your relationship was not defined by how much time you spent together but rather by how much you cared and supported each other. he celebrated every good grade and promotion you achieved with you while you cheered him on at his stages and concerts. 

*

you pulled up to the 7/11 that was below the company building and made a quick trip into the connivence store.

afterwards, you made your way to the practice room. you peeked through the glass door to see if they were almost done and to your surprise, yeosang opened the door and almost walked straight into you.

“oh, hello y/n.” yeosang greeted with a small smile.

“hi, is-”

“y/n?” a familiar voice rang throughout the room. 

you poked your head further, only to be caught in a tight hug. 

“oh my god, you scared the shit out of me.” you playfully scold your boyfriend as you wrapped your arms tightly around him. it had been almost a month since you saw him in person so you missed each other greatly. 

once seonghwa pulled away from you, he placed a quick kiss on your cheek causing wooyoung to gag very loudly. 

you rolled your eyes at him, used to his antics as seonghwa glared at wooyoung making him apologize rather quickly.

“get out.” your boyfriend told his younger member as he pointed towards the door.

“yes, sir.” he replied before walking out with his head down.

“where were we?” he smiled at you before kissing you happily.

when the two of you broke apart, stupid grins on both of your faces, you asked him to go up to the roof. seonghwa brought you up there once a couple years back when he was still a trainee. it was not of the most romantic dates you guys had but you were ecstatic to see him again.

once you guys had reached the roof and reached the edge of it, you let seonghwa gaze at the soft glow of the city lights as you pulled out your gifts. 

“surprise, hwa.” you whispered softly at him as you handed him a small strawberry cake and a small gift bag.

he gasped at the sight of the mini cake, “thank you so much, love.”

seonghwa pressed another kiss to your cheek as you felt your heart race. 

“open the bag!” you exclaimed, curious to see his reaction. 

“alright, alright. let me eat the cake first jeez.” your boyfriend laughed at your eagerness.

“fine.” you fake pouted at him.

after he took a bite of the cake he scooped up another piece and offered it to you which you gladly took. 

while you chewed, you watched seonghwa open up the bag and pull out the gift wrapping before reaching a small box.

“what is it?” he looked up and asked, as if you would give him an answer.

“just open it, seonghwa!” you groaned at him.

“fine.” he pouted before smiling after you lightly slapped his shoulder.

the tiny box had contained a polaroid sized book that held pictures of you guys together from your very first date to your last. it also included photos from all the countless times you spent together. holidays, birthdays, and graduation photos were all in this small book. there were even captions to the side of it, retelling what had happened in that photo along with inside jokes. 

your gift brought tears to seonghwa’s eyes as he flipped through the pages. your whole entire relationship was stored in this tiny box and in a way it reminded you of your love for him. sure, it seemed small and plain to others but to you guys it was everything you wanted and more.

“do you like it?” you asked nervously, playing with your fingers.

seonghwa didn’t give you an answer before he grabbed both sides of your face and smashed his lips onto yours. you smiled in between kisses, feeling just so lucky to be dating someone who made you so happy. 

“i love you.” he answered, looking at you if you were the only person left in the world.

“you didn’t answer my question.” you whined even though the goofy smile on your face told another story.

he just shook his head at your comment, still smiling at you as he pulled your back into his chest so you guys could gaze at the city in front of you.

you guys sat in a comfortable silence watching the cars go by until you broke it.

“i’m sorry, this isn’t the ideal place to celebrate your birthday. i-”

“don’t be sorry, love. i’m just glad i got to see you again.” he answered honestly, hugging you tighter.

“i love you.” you mumbled as you sank deeper into his embrace. you had missed his touch more than you realized. 

seonghwa gave you a quick kiss on the lips before you guys went back to looking at the city, enjoying the warmth he provided and his hugs.

even though you guys were celebrating the last few hours of his birthday, seonghwa couldn’t get any happier than this, his arms around you just like they should be.

[evcnesco]

meet edward “ted” tonks || pinterest

welcome back to hogwarts EDWARD 'TED' TONKS ! they say you look like RYAN POTTER, but i don’t see the resemblance. anyway, you’re a ELEVENTH year from GRYFFINDOR, right ? i’ve got your school file right here. it says you’re a TWENTY-TWO year old CISMALE and use HE/HIM pronouns, as well as that your blood status is MUGGLEBORN. it even has a personality entry, saying you’re VALIANT AND HUMBLE as well as CLUMSY AND STUBBORN. is that why you’ve chosen to JOIN THE ORDER ? oh well, see you in class !

BASICS

Full Name?: Edward “Ted” Warden Tonks

Age?: 22

Gender?: Cismale

Pronouns?: He/Him

Birthday?: May 4th

Zodiac sign?: Taurus

Where were you born?: Bristol, England

Where were you raised?: Bristol, England

APPEARANCE

Hair colour?: Black

Eye colour?: Dark brown

Height?: 5′8″ (172 cm)

Tattoos?: A tattoo of a lion on his shoulder that he got on a dare, but was okay with it because it represented his house. Triceratops on his right ring finger to match some friends.

Peircings?: N/A

Any other notable features (scars, freckles etc)?: His hair that he sometimes dyes green because it’s his favorite color and he likes standing out.

CHILDHOOD

What was their relationship with their parents growing up?: Ted was always incredibly close to his parents growing up. While they were busy with work being a college professor and a doctor, they were very loving parents and took care of their both of their kids very well.

What was their relationship with their siblings growing up?: Ted was extremely close to his sibling. He is extremely protective of them.

Were there any other key people in their childhood? What was their relationship like?: His grandparents on both sides. He was over at one of their houses almost every weekend growing up.

What was their lifestyle like growing up?: Ted’s life was rather simple and easy. His parents worked good jobs but they didn’t live in the biggest house because they didn’t need it for their family.

MAGIC

House?: Gryffindor

Year?: 11th

Bloodstatus?: Muggleborn

What form does your boggart take?: His mangled, injured body being circled in Death Eaters who are taunting him

What form does your patronus take?: Piebald Stallion

Do you play Quidditch? What position?: Yes! Keeper and captain

Are you a prefect?: No

What clubs are you in?: Charms, Dueling

What is your wand like?: Solid, 13 inches, aspen wood, griffin feather. His wand is split into two sections with a painted black handle at the end that has silver detailing with spiral patterns.

Do you have a favourite spell?: Accio

What’s your favourite class?: Charms

What’s your least favourite class?: Herbology

RELATIONSHIPS

Sexuality?: Pansexual

Relationship status?: Single

Do you believe in love?: Absolutely

Have you ever been in love?: No

Do you want to get married?: 100% yes

Has your relationship with your family changed since childhood?: Yes, mostly because protecting them from the magical world has been difficult.

Do you have any pets?: A Siamese cat named Stanley

LIFESTYLE

Do you drink?: Yes

Do you smoke?: Occasionally

Do you do drugs?: No

What are your hobbies?: Reading, learning magic, volunteering, tutoring others

MISC

What is your opinion on muggles? They’re amazing!

Where do you stand in the upcoming war? As of now Ted is neutral, but he does support the Order and wishes to help them

What is your biggest strength?: Patience

What is your biggest weakness?: Stubbornness

What is your biggest accomplishment to date?: Becoming a captain of the quidditch team

What is your biggest regret to date?: Leaving his parents out of the loop about what’s going on in the wizarding world.

What is your favourite thing about yourself?: My hair and dad joke abilities

Where do you see yourself in the future?: Working as a Hogwarts professor. Married with kids and living in a small house where we’re all happy.

HEADCANONS

ted is the oldest of the two children adopted by the tonks family. Ted’s father was a muggleborn and decided when he was young that he was going to adopt other muggleborn children and give them a good life where they didn’t have to be confused about their powers and could feel truly loved.

ted was taught from a young age to be loving and accepting of all people. transitioning to the wizarding world was hard due to this because not everyone was accepting of him due to his blood status. he’s always trying to not let it impact him, but sometimes it’s a struggle.

ted went to the wizarding world a couple of times every year when he was younger. adjusting to hogwarts and magic was slightly easier due to this but being surrounded by magic all of the time was still weird.

ted has one of the biggest hearts ever. he would do almost anything for anyone even at the expense of himself. he just likes helping other people and making them happy. this does leave him with a tendency to talk to people way too much in a very rambly way as once he starts talking he has trouble stopping.

ted absolutely adores animals, especially cats. he currently has a couple month old cat that he has named stanley. he loves showing his cat off to people whenever they ask or whenever he’s feeling cuddly and cute.

ted has a horrible tendency of saying really cheesy jokes. he learned them from his dad and uses them to try and cheer people up. they’re super cheesy and dumb but he loves them.

ted was a hat stall between gryffindor and hufflepuff. he sat there for like five minutes before the hat sorted him into gryffindor. at the time he had no clue what the meant, but he soon realized that it was the place for him and he really loved it.

ted had been in a lot of relationships. he falls for people really easily due to having such a big heart, but none of his relationships have ever lasted more than a couple of months because he tends to get freaked out when things get serious.

ted started playing quidditch when he was in fifth year. he didn’t expect to make the team but then once he did he found it was a total confidence boost and that it got him a lot of attention from people. when he was made captain he felt extremely proud of himself and it is definitely his biggest accomplishment to date.

ted is incredibly bright and always trying to tutor the younger students with their students. he wants to teach at hogwarts after he graduates as he’s very passionate about it.

honestly just a big dork with a big heart, but also very easily overwhelmed by life and sometimes needs a break.

[mohtivations]

The last time I wrote something like this was probably two years ago, so I thought that I would give an updated overview of how I organize my bullet journal. I wonder how much my system has changed, but also I don't think it's changed that much because the way I set it up worked for me hm. You can find my first one here.

Once again, disclaimer, there are multiple ways to set up your bujo!! This is just what works for me, so I hope I can share some inspiration, but honestly the best system is the one that works for you !!

Here's v.02 of how I set up my bullet journal at the start of each month, college edition (but honestly not much has changed I just have less structure because college is definitely a lot LESS structured than high school).

Tumblr has also changed a lot in the six years I've been on the platform, but it's a nice record of my growth I guess.

Color Scheme

My months usually have two shades in a certain color. Flipping through my old spreads, they're usually a cool tone, I switch between blue, purple, and pastels. If I'm feeling adventurous, I might opt for a green or orange theme, but that depends on what the theme is. Previous ideas include: clouds, lavender, leaves, berries, flowers, etc.

Quote Typography

I usually grab a short and sweet inspiration phrase or lyric, most definitely by BTS. That hasn't changed. Before writing it out in my actual bujo, I test out a few different styles on a scrap piece of paper and scroll through Pinterest or IG if I need some inspiration. This page usually ends up having some washi tape, mini doodles based on the month's theme, and stickers (I have way too many from that one Japan trip).

Title

Just like for the quote, I'll test out a style on a scrap paper, add a few doodles, and also include a mini calendar on the lower half of the page. The calendar has important dates (birthdays, exams, breaks) circled in with one of the two accent shades. Pretty straightforward, but sometimes this page ends up taking the longest, as I try to doodle something fancy (my drawing skills are still very subpar).

Habits

I got these super convenient calendar washi tapes from Japan, so I've just been cutting them and using them to fill in my habits. I use to have WAY TOO MANY habits to track, including sleep. It started to feel overwhelming to maintain, and I did not have that much motivation in me. I narrowed down to eight habits that are pretty basic and essential for taking care of my mind and body. I'll switch out a habit if I realize it's not relevant or important anymore. For example, I removed taking Chinese meds when I finished my prescribed batch. Right now, my habits include: eat healthy, workout, read, save money, self-study finance, study Chinese, poop, and exercises for my scoliosis).

Favorites

Usually leave three or four shapes, based on the month's theme, blank, for me to eventually fill out throughout the month. Nothing too fancy about this page.

Intentions

Instead of goals, I "rebranded" this spread because I wanted it to represent something more long-lasting. In other words, practices and actions that I can hopefully incorporate and evolve into a part of my lifestyle. During quarantine, I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself, so a few of my intentions include:

Listening to my body and practicing intuitive eating

Staying in contact with friends. Don't shut yourself out and fall into a too well-known hole

Move your body when you feel like it! Take a walk in nature! Play badminton with the fam!

Read those books you've been forever putting aside because you were busy

Thoughts

Completely blank at the start of the month, this page is essentially a place for my rants/journal entries. It's nice for me to know that I have a designated space when I have a strong urge to just pour out how I'm feeling or what I've experienced. Cathartic.

Sentences

I write down a sentence each day, usually two lines per day in my notebook. I love rereading my sentences in my old bullet journal, it really transports me back to another era of my life. It's always nice to record whatever made me smile or memorable event on a certain day–I know I would definitely forget later down the road.

Eats

I basically record what I eat every day. I have two columns on each page, and each day has four lines: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack. This routine helps keep me accountable and conscious of what I'm putting in my body, which is especially difficult when we're cramped up at home all day...

Weekly Spread

So I don't actually set this up at the start of each month. I might paste in a few printed pictures or polaroids to spice up the week, but since I don't really have any foresight on what's to come in the following week, on a day to day basis, I let the spread develop as I check in with my bullet journal every day.

That doesn't mean I don't have another method of keeping track of events and assignments. For that, I use my computer, since it lets me adjust and modify if needed. I am a very dedicated advocate for Google Calendar to track my day's events, and for Notion to track my upcoming deadlines. Honestly love Notion–great and free for all students!! All you need is plug in your .edu email.

And that about sums it up. Since I'm in the engineering school, I haven't actually written properly in so long. I feel like I don't know how to write anymore LOL. Hope this was helpful!! 

[taeken-my-heart]

Moirai Chapter 6

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 4557

Notes: There is a read more placed after the first paragraph, but we all know tumblr is weird so if it doesn’t show up I’m sorry :(

-- This is the chapter that really gets things rolling, so be prepared for some angst over the next few chapters. You have been warned!

****

It had been two weeks straight now since Ella had spent her evenings at Jungkook’s house. To say it’s been weird, would be an understatement. He wasn’t even tutoring her or anything, they were just…hanging out.

Most nights your mom made you go too. She insisted since Ella was already going, it would be convenient if you both went, that way you could do your tutoring there and just get it out of the way. You suspected it was just so your parents could have what they liked to call “special bonding time.”

Gross.

You sighed, staring down at your phone as it went straight to voicemail again. Thumb hovering over the red end call button, you listened for the beep of the answering machine before ending the call and throwing your head back against the couch.

“Still didn’t answer?” Ella asked from her place across the room, hand locked with Jungkook’s in a thumb wrestling championship. Winner got to eat the last breadstick from the pizza you’d ordered. Whatever.

“He’s just busy is all,” you sniffed, picking at your fingernails.

“Totally,” Jungkook nodded, “beginning of the semester can be pretty busy, I’ve heard.”

You appreciated the effort, but everyone knew that was a bald-faced lie. The beginning of the year was always the least busy while things were settling in. No homework or tests because you hadn’t learned anything yet. You chewed on the inside of your lip, pulling your homework back into your lap, choosing to ignore their peering eyes and they eventually went back to their battle.

Your thoughts were racing, though. It had only been two weeks since Lucas had gone back to school and for the last three days, you’d barely heard anything from him. An odd text here or there is all you’d gotten and you couldn’t help but worry. Maybe he’d found a girl at his school that was way more interesting than you. Someone that he could talk to about more mature things, like economics.

You were still in high school, after all, and frankly you didn’t even know what economics meant. Your aunt studied it in college, though, so you could probably ask her to get you up to speed if needed.

All the words in your text book were running together, but this assignment was due tomorrow and you only had a little bit left. It was frustrating that you couldn’t keep focused, especially now that Ella was cheering loudly in the background and grabbing the last bread stick.

You watched as she broke it in half and offered a piece to Jungkook who accepted with a thank you and a goofy smile. You missed Lucas.

“Don’t stress so much.” Ella said, coming to sit beside you, taking a bite of her bread. “I’m sure he’s just busy with assignments. He’ll probably call you tomorrow and tell you you’re being silly for worrying so much.”

“I’m not stressed,” you insisted, though the strain in your voice was anything but convincing. “I just hope he’s not overworking himself is all.”

“You wanna watch a movie or something?” Jungkook asked and you sighed, shaking your head.

“No, I should probably go home and finish my homework.” You stood, stuffing your books in your bag and tugging it over your shoulder. “You coming Ella?”

“I’ll be home a little later, Jungkook said he was gonna show me how to level up my character on Fortnite.”

“Have fun, nerd.” You nodded, making your way to the front door and out into the evening. It was colder now, the seasons slowly turning and creating a need for a jacket that you’d foolishly left at home. Thankfully, you only lived five houses down the road.

When you reached home your phone vibrated with a call and you quickly answered as soon as you saw Lucas’ name on the screen. “Hey!” You gasped, flinging your bag onto your bed and sitting down with a bounce. “I’ve been trying to reach you.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s been a little hectic recently. My roommate was right, my professor did assign a project with partners on the very first day. We actually just met up to start talking about what we want to do for our project; that’s why I didn’t answer your call.”

“Totally understand,” you nodded, as though he could see you. “How have you been? Aside from busy.”

“I’m OK, classes this semester seem like they’re going to be interesting. There are more people on campus this semester; I think they accepted more than they usually do. I guess it makes sense, they built a few new apartment complexes that they needed to fill.”

“It sounds exciting,” you murmured, laying back against your pillows, “I can’t wait for college. It’ll be nice to be a little more independent.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “that’s definitely nice. Will you have a car when you get to college, though? That makes the experience even better.”

You hum in thought, staring up at your ceiling. “I don’t know, actually. It’s not like I’ve got a job right now so I can’t really afford one. I’ll probably just end up walking or taking the bus or something.”

“My roommate has a car; it’s awesome. He can go anywhere, there’s no limits. Honestly, that’s one of the best things about being an adult.”

“It sounds really nice; like freedom.”

“In some ways,” he chuckled, “in some ways adulthood is freedom and in others it’s more like prison.”

You spent the rest of the night talking until eventually you fell asleep, phone still cradled on your shoulder. Your neck was sore with a crick the next morning and you felt gross and uncomfortable. You’d fallen asleep without changing or brushing your teeth so you quickly took a shower and brushed your teeth, finally feeling more human.

Your family was already downstairs in the kitchen when you made your way into the room, slinging your backpack over the edge of your chair and sitting down. “Morning!” Your mother smiled, handing you a plate and you started piling breakfast on top. “Can you believe Jungkook is 18 tomorrow? That means he will get his mark! I wonder who she is. Not much longer now and it’ll be your turn.”

“Yeah,” you grumbled, slouching in your chair.

“What if no mark appeared at all?” Ella giggled and your mom smacked her arm lightly.

“Impossible, that’s never happened before in the history of the world.”

You shrugged, taking a bite of your food, “I don’t really mind not having my life dictated.”

Your mother sighed, giving your father a look and he straightened his tie with fidgety fingers. “Look, Y/N, it’s not dictation. The universe puts you with someone that would make you the happiest but it’s always up to you if you want to follow that path, you know that.”

“Yeah, well, what if the universe puts me with someone I end up hating?”

“Not possible,” he shook his head, “it works with compatibility and personality. You’d never be put with someone who doesn’t compliment you.”

“Look, you know this topic bothers me, I’d really rather not talk about it. Having some person’s name appear on my wrist isn’t going to change anything so can we not discuss this anymore?”

Your father sighed, shifting his eyes to your mother and nodding his head sullenly. “Well we’re getting some really great pictures for yearbook!” Ella smiled. “Jacob took some awesome pictures at the pep rally last week and I’ve been assigned to take some pictures of this weekend’s football game.”

“That’s great!” Your mother smiled, “Should we be going to the game?”

“You can if you want to, I don’t know if anyone you know will be playing, though.”

“That’s OK, we could just go for fun.”

Conversation diverged into other topics that were much less uncomfortable and the rest of breakfast was spent in lively conversation about which marvel character was the best.

****

On the drive to school, you shuffled through your list of to do’s and noted another English assignment you’d need help on. Sighing, you resigned yourself to asking for Jungkook’s help again. The morning was significantly colder than before and you huffed, wrapping yourself warm in a jacket and pulling your bag over your shoulder with a thanks to your mother before heading to the school doors. In the warmer months most of the students were out in the courtyard talking until the 10-minute bell rang, but now most people were congregated in the hallways and that made it difficult to navigate through the crowds to Jungkook’s locker.

You could see his scruff of hair over the tops of nearby heads and you pushed your way through gingerly before you were standing beside him and tapping his shoulder. “Hey.”

He turned to look at you, pulling an earbud from his ear and greeting you with a smile. “What’s up?”

“We’ve got that assignment coming up in English and I was hoping you could help me.”

“Oh yeah, totally. Let’s plan for tomorrow after school. If you could remind me in the morning, that would be great, just in case I forget.”

“Sure,” you shrugged, turning your body to walk away. “Thanks, Jungkook.”

****

“I’m positive they’re trying to poison us.” Noelle pouted, slamming her lunch tray on the table and you cast your gaze up towards her, watching as she sat down. “What even is this? Mystery meat?”

“I thought it was meatloaf.” Lillian said, peering over her own lunch bag and into the tray of her friend.

“Supposedly.”

“Well, this is why I bring my own lunch.” Lillian smiled and Noelle scoffed.

“You bring your own lunch because you’re vegan and the last time this school sold anything that resembled a vegetable was when the first lady was doing her healthy school lunch initiative.”

“True.” Lillian nodded, taking another bite of her pasta. “I do get lunch here sometimes, when they’ve got spaghetti or something.”

“I’d give anything for spaghetti right now.” Noelle complained, stabbing the foreign substance on her tray with distain.

“So, are you guys going to Jungkook’s birthday party?” You asked, taking a bite of your salad. Noelle’s mystery meat was exactly why you too brought your own lunch.

“That’s tonight, right?” Lillian asked, opening a small Tupperware full of strawberries. You nodded and she bit off the tip of one bright red berry. Your mouth salivated at the image. “Yeah, I was planning on it. You?”

“Yeah,” you moped, “I think my mom would kill me if I didn’t. Plus, he and my sister have been getting really close recently, which is super weird, by the way, and apparently, I have to be her chaperone for her first “real” party. Whatever that means. It’s not like there will even be alcohol. His parents are gonna be there!”

“Don’t be a party pooper.” Noelle scolded. “We’re gonna go and we’re gonna have fun.”

“I’m not opposed to fun, I’m just unsure if Jungkook and fun exist in the same sentence.” You replied, incensed.

“Ha.Ha.” Noelle deadpanned and you huffed at your friend. “Stop complaining, it’s gonna be a good time. It’s not like it’s gonna only be the 5 of us, there will be tons of other people there, too. He’s popular, remember?”

“Yeah, if only I could forget. They might just give him his very own float in the spring parade, that’s how obsessed people are with him. Get a life, am I right?”

Lillian shrugged, “I don’t know, he’d look pretty great on a float.”

“Ew, self-respect, Lil. Where is it?”

“Anyway,” Lillian shrugged, turning away from your judgmental glare, “I think it will be a cool party and I’m ready to dance!”

You watched as Ella walked into the room with Jungkook and Rachel, going to sit with them at their table, Rachel holding possessively onto Jungkook’s arm and you scoffed. You’d never understand why your sister wanted to be part of that crowd.

****

Jungkook’s house was lively with people, all faces you recognized from school but never bothered to socialize with. You ran in different circles and you often felt like you had nothing in common. They only talked about surface level things, not that there was anything wrong with that, you just preferred a little deeper connection.

Neither Lillian or Noelle had arrived yet, so you stayed with Ella as she walked around the room, talking with and greeting people you never realized she knew. Your sister was more of a social butterfly than you’d ever thought. You weren’t sure why it was so surprising, her personality in general was outgoing and friendly; prime candidate for popularity.

You both accepted drinks from Jungkook’s mom, thanking her softly as she pointed you in the direction of her son who was sitting in the living room, surrounded by a group of his friends. Ella took the lead, guiding the two of you bravely into the center of the fray and you cringed internally as she pulled you with her right up to where Jungkook was sitting.

“Jungkook!” She called, smile bright, and he looked up at her, a grin peeling brightly across his face as he stood.

“Ella, I’m glad you could come!” He said, hugging her quickly and you watched as Rachel frowned from her seat on the couch. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you could come too.”

“Sure.” You nodded, sipping at your drink. There were too many people in the room and someone bumped into you from behind with a laugh and a quick apology.

“You guys have already met Rachel and Dean. This is Allison, Elisha, and Michael.” He said, pointing out the friends in his little circle and you nodded at each in turn. Rachel, Allison, and Elisha were all on the cheerleading team together while both Dean and Michael played football. It was surprising that Jungkook and the rest of the group had even become friends since he played soccer, but you supposed good looking people just flocked together.

“I love your dress,” Allison smiled, directing her gaze to Ella who grinned, smoothing down the edges, head bowed. “It’s so summery.”

“Thanks!” Ella chirped. “It’s my way of protesting the change of seasons. Kind of too cold to be wearing a dress now, but whatever.”

“I’m a big fan of baggy sweaters and leggings myself.” Elisha said and Allison nodded back at her wildly.

“Yes! And pumpkin spice lattes!”

“Girl, stop, you’re totally right!”

You watched them continue their conversation, sipping quietly at your drink as Ella talked animatedly with them about fall colors and aesthetic pictures and you sighed. It wasn’t that those were things you weren’t interested in, you just thought maybe you’d talk about something more interesting. Then again, deep conversations never happened with strangers.

“You ok?” Jungkook asked softly, coming up beside you and you looked over at him. He was taller than you, but not overwhelmingly so and you looked up into the fluttering lashes that framed his dark eyes. He was being nicer than normal, which was strange, but then you supposed he really was taking the truce seriously. Either that or Ella had somehow softened him up.

“Yeah,” you responded, looking back down at your drink, “just not really the “partying” type.”

“Then just think of it as a hang out.” He smiled. “I know you don’t really know anyone here that well, but I could introduce you to some people, if you want.”

“I’m not really sure I’d have much in common with people here.” You said and he shook his head at you.

“Why? Because they’re popular? Jocks, cheerleaders? Are you being judgmental, Y/N?” He teased and you pouted up at him.

“No!” You insisted, “I just mean that we don’t really have the same interests so conversation would be kind of difficult.”

“Well how do you know if you have things in common or not if you don’t ask?” He replied, eyebrow raised and you huffed.

“Keep your logic to yourself, Jeon.”

Jungkook chuckled, nudging your shoulder with his own. “Come on, let me introduce you. I’m sure Noelle and Lillian with be here soon, but in the meantime, there’s got to be some people here you can have a conversation with.”

“I don’t really want to abandon Ella.” You said and Jungkook gave you a look, switching his gaze to her and back to you.

“You can’t be serious.”

Ella was talking animatedly with both Allison and Elisha and you sighed, shrugging. “Well fine, she doesn’t really need any looking after. I really don’t mind being that person who stands next to the snack table and drowns their sorrows in junk food, Jungkook. Besides, like you said, Lil and Noelle should be here soon and then I’ll have someone to talk to.”

“Well, let me come with you at least.” He said and you shrugged again.

“It’s a free country.”

He followed you to the table where you grabbed a small plate, searching through the different snack options that you could munch on.

“So, tomorrow’s a big day.” You said absentmindedly, grabbing a carrot and dipping it before popping it in your mouth; crunching loudly.

Jungkook nodded, rubbing at his wrist. “Yeah, kind of crazy. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and everything will be different.”

“And completely the same.” You said, looking over at him and he huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What if you know the person whose name appears?” You ask, grabbing a twinkie and putting it on your plate. Jungkook wrinkled his nose at you.

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll talk to them are something. Are you really going to eat that?”

“Hey, don’t judge me, it was on your table.” You replied tartly.

“Yeah, but my mom bought it, not me. I actually have taste.”

“Oh-ho.” You chuckled, “I should tell her you said that.”

“Don’t!” He chuckled, grabbing your forearm, “she’ll probably actually kill me.” He released his grip on you and you grabbed a snap pea from the serving dish, chewing on it absentmindedly.

“Are you still excited to find out the name?”

Jungkook’s lips pursed in thought, hands stuffed in his jeans. “Yeah, nervous too, though. When will I meet her?”

“Well, maybe you already have.” You said, finishing off your bite.

“Nah,” he waved his hand in the air, glancing away, “I’ve never had the pull so I doubt I’ve met her.”

You shrugged before noticing Noelle walking through the front door, dark curls tumbling over her shoulders. “Oh!” You smiled, walking towards her, “you made it. Thank goodness, I thought I was gonna have to talk to Jungkook the whole night.”

“Not really a punishment,” she smiled, watching as Jungkook made his way back to the couch to sit with his friends. “He’s looking particularly gorgeous today. Hot damn. So, did he already get his soulmate tattoo?”

“No, he’ll get that at midnight. His birthday is tomorrow.”

She nodded idly, snagging a piece of cucumber from your plate and crunching loudly. “How’s the party?”

“It’s fine. Don’t really know anyone here, to be honest.”

“I see a few people from my drama class; let’s go say hi!”

You followed after, allowing Noelle to introduce you to some of her other friends. It was weird because, aside from Lillian and Noelle, you couldn’t really say you had other friends. You could have totally met other people if you’d wanted to, you’d just never tried. You wondered idly if that was good or bad.

“So, what do you do for fun?” A girl named Rha asked and you quickly chewed your abnormally large bite of twinky to answer.

“Uh, I normally hang out with friends. Sometimes I’ll draw a little. I’m not very good at it, but it’s fun to do. I also really like to watch dumb Youtube videos.”

“Me too!” Rha grinned, “anytime I can just kind of turn my brain off and veg out is nice. What’s your favorite channel to watch?”

“I really like watching food videos,” you chuckled. “Especially when I’m hungry. Apparently, I’m a bit of a masochist.” The group laughed and you continued, “my favorites are probably BuzzFeed. I like watching videos of people cooking cool foods.”

“Like the test kitchen?”

“Yeah!” You grinned, “did you see the starburst episode?”

Rha laughed loudly, grabbing at her knee as she leaned forward, “Yes! I always feel so bad for Claire! She has to do the most difficult things. I’m also super envious, though. I want to work in a test kitchen myself. My mom works in one and I’ve always thought it was so cool, so watching Claire is like a reminder of what I want to do myself.”

“That’s so cool! I’ve never met anyone who wants to work in a test kitchen before!”

“Neither have I.” Rha giggled. “Who knows, maybe someday I’ll work with Claire.”

“Well if you do, don’t forget the little people.” Noelle teased.

An hour later the house was nearly bursting at the seams with people. You glanced around the room trying to spot your sister only to see her sat with Jungkook and his friends in the corner, leaned into him, hand on his knee as he whispered something in her ear.

If Rachel could see the two of them, she’d probably throw a massive fit, but as it was, you couldn’t see her anywhere. Most of Jungkook’s close friends had dispersed around the room, in fact, so it was just him and Ella sitting together talking. You could only imagine she would die of happiness from this.

You chuckled, turning back to the conversation your friends were still having as Rha announced loudly that she was thirsty and asking if she could grab anyone anything to drink. The number of drinks was more than she could carry, so you offered to help her, leading her to the kitchen where the Jeon’s were both talking at the table, filling cups with punch for the people milling around them.

“Y/N! You having fun?” Jieun called as you made your way towards her and you smiled, nodding.

“Yeah, I’ve actually met some cool new people. This is Rha, Rha, these are Jungkook’s parents.”

“So nice to meet you!” Rha smiled, extending her hand to both of them, “thank you so much for having us all over.”

“We’re so glad you could come over to celebrate our boy with us.” Jieun smiled, “tomorrow is a huge day so we’re glad he could have all his friends around him for support.”

“It’s pretty life changing!” Rha enthused, accepting the cup Jungkook’s dad handed her with a thank you. “I actually had my 18th birthday last month.” She said, extending her arm and you noticed, for the first time, the freshly emblazoned name in her skin.

“Oh wow,” you said, turning towards her. The room filled with more people and conversation so you spoke louder to be heard, “I’ve never actually met anyone in our grade who had gotten their name. Did it hurt?”

“Well, I got it in the middle of the night when I was asleep, so I didn’t notice it at first, but it was a little sore for about a week after I got it. Nothing really bad, just a little tender.” She said, pushing her long dark hair behind her ear.

“Do you know the person?” You asked, curiosity peaked. You weren’t particularly interested in the whole soulmate thing in general, but you couldn’t deny that it was a little interesting hearing it from someone your age who’d just gotten their own soulmate mark.

Rha shook her head, “nope. I guess I’m in for an adventure!”

“That you are!” Mr. Jeon chuckled. “Anyway, you guys should get back to the party, go enjoy yourselves!”

“We actually need 4 more drinks for our friends.” You smiled and the two of them quickly filled 4 more cups, handing them off to you and waving you away.

You spent the rest of the evening chatting with Lillian, Noelle, and Rha, meeting a few other members of the drama club, before your mom texted you, requesting that you and your sister return home, it was a school night, after all.

****

The next morning you walked to school. Your mother wasn’t feeling well so you and Ella dressed warm and made your way out into the cool autumn morning.

“Last night was so cool,” Ella sighed dreamily, “Jungkook and I just hung out for hours and talked and it was so awesome. I think he might like me.”

You raised an eyebrow at her, lips tightening to stop your giggle, “OK, don’t be silly, he has a girlfriend and you know that.”

Ella shrugged, biting her bottom lip, “I don’t know, they got in a big fight and went outside to talk and when he came back in, he said she went home.”

“That’s doesn’t mean anything, Ella. Sometimes people fight and just need to cool off.”

Ella huffed, tightening the belt around her jacket. “Stop being such a wet blanket, can’t you just be happy for me?”

“What’s there to be happy about?” You asked, eyebrows rising, “happy that Jungkook’s been friendlier to you recently? Happy that you guys are better friends? It’s not like anything happened, and if something did happen, I’ll kill him because he has a girlfriend and you’re not gonna be the other girl!”

Ella sighed, rolling her eyes at you. “Calm down, nothing happened, you know he’s not like that. He’d never do something so gross. I’m just saying, he’s been friendlier than normal and kind of flirty. I think he might be starting to like me.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, that’s all I’m saying.” You muttered, staring at the school as it grew larger the closer the two of you walked towards it.

“What if he did pursue me? Would you be OK with that or would you be a mega bitch to him again?” She asked, slowing her step and you frowned at her.

“I’m not a mega bitch!” You complained and she looked over at you, lips forming a tight line. “OK, fine, fine, whatever. If you guys actually liked each other than fine, whatever, I’d be supportive of that, but I’m just saying, don’t get your hopes up. Even if they did break up, you don’t want to be just a rebound.”

“Fine,” she grumbled, “I’ll keep my expectations low. Anyway, I’m gonna go find my friends.” She flounced off in front of you, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she went and you grumbled in aggravation.

That girl was only going to get her heart broken.

Now that you were here, though, you needed to find Jungkook and remind him about your homework appointment tonight. You had an assignment to do and it wasn’t going to write itself…and you definitely weren’t going to write it unless you had help so you hiked your bag higher on your shoulder and walked into the school, shivering at the temperature change.

Walking further down the hall towards where you knew Jungkook’s locker to be, you couldn’t see him at first, but the hallway was busy with people so you pushed further into the crowd before spotting his bouncing head of dark hair.

You walked up behind him, tapping his shoulder. “Hey Jungkook, you still good to help me with my English homework after school?”

He jumped, spinning to face you, eyes wide and fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of his long shirt. “Uh, Y/N, hi. Actually, I-I am not feeling very well today so I was gonna try and take a nap after school or something.”

You watched him, eyebrow raised as he pressed his back further into the locker, eyes drifting over your shoulder to dance across the faces of the people passing through the hallway to their first classes.

“Ok…” You said slowly, glancing over your shoulder and then back to him. “Well, what about tomorrow? You free then?”

“How about I text you and let you know?” He asked, spinning quickly towards his locker and grabbing his books, slamming the door shut. “I’ve got class, but I’ll message you later or something. Bye.”

You watched as he darted down the hallway, turning the corner and disappearing out of sight. “Weirdo.” You sighed.

****

Thank you so much for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback! I’ll be finishing and posting the last chapter of Independent next month and then Moirai will become my main focus. <3

Chapter 5

Chapter 7

Copyright © 2018  by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved.

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment is All We Are (5.1/?)

This chapter is REALLY long so I split the text ver into 2 parts for Tumblr. 

AO3 link: here

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Story type: Romance/Drama/comedy

Pairing: Dazai x OC/reader (Dazai is endgame, fic is long-running and will also feature Kunikida x OC)

OC (Kusunoki Kyou) and Ability are based off of "The Story of Your Life," written by Ted Chiang, aka the basis of the Amy Adams movie "Arrival."

Rating: M for Blood/violence/themes of depression, anxiety, suicide TW: The second half of this story will deal more heavily with themes of suicide, depression/anxiety. *No major character death will occur*

Story follows OC as she joins the ADA, partners up with the detectives to solve various cases around Yokohama and develops feelings for Kunikida and Dazai (Dazai endgame).

Written for those who want an immersive ADA experience :)

Updates every Sunday evening around 6pm PST

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It wasn’t always like this.

Okay, maybe it was.

For as far back as I could remember, the visions had always been random, random events I would see of the future. If I was in physical contact with someone, the visions would be from their future. If I wasn’t, then the visions would be from my own life. Sometimes when I was really stressed, the visions of my future would actually come in the form of a dream, like in manga or novels.

Perhaps that was the best way to explain how The Story of Your Life worked; it was like taking out a book, keeping a finger against the pages and flipping until that finger finally caught on a single page. Then, flip open that page and read the first paragraph that jumps out; the book was the person’s life and the paragraph was the event, a single scene from that person’s future that I bore witness to.

The visions didn’t always show me death, blood and despair.

In fact, the very first vision I had was that of a puppy—a cute little thing my friend Kiko gifted me at my fifth birthday party. I must’ve seemed shockingly unsurprised (and possibly rude) to Kiko and her parents, but I couldn’t bring myself to explain that I’d seen her giving me this puppy half a year ago.

In retrospect, the puppy vision had been great. Sure, it took some of the fun out of a surprise gift but it was still a vision about a puppy. Honestly, if my visions were nothing more than glorified versions of baby animal videos, I’d be perfectly fine with that.

Maybe then, I wouldn’t be left with this overwhelming fear of my own Ability.

I used to be able to touch people, shake their hands, and hold them. In the beginning, “The Story of Your Life” only activated with a prolonged touch...

At first, “prolonged” meant more than ten seconds. That meant getting to play tag in kindergarten, going over to friends’ houses and having sleepovers. Normal stuff. My life didn’t even change all that much when ten seconds shrank to seven some time around middle school; I was able to play contact sports and go out on shopping trips without incident. Seven seconds became five halfway through high school. Again, no need to make lifestyle changes. I could still hold hands with friends, so long as it didn’t go on for too long and I was still able to have my first kiss without seeing even a hint of my boyfriend’s future.

And then, college. Five seconds was no longer doable. It became three at best and just before I’d become a shut-in, even an instantaneous touch was enough to trigger my Ability. By then, however, I’d gotten pretty used to having the visions, so I remained relatively unbothered when I’d see a vision of the barista breaking up with his girlfriend when I got my morning coffee. In other words, managing my Ability was no big deal.

Or so I thought.

About six months ago, my visions went from being an occasional distraction to a panic-inducing nightmare. I still wasn’t sure why...

Maybe it was just luck of the draw. I’d only seen good things, mostly, for the first ten-plus years at least: faraway cities, weddings, and graduations. Every once in a while there would be a failed exam or a lost wallet but overall nothing too out of the ordinary for an otherwise regular teenager to see.

Maybe it was just a sign of the times. As I got older, so did the people around me, so the more likely it was that they were entering that phase of their lives where things could start to go south. Or perhaps their previous lives were just catching up to them.

Or maybe, it was karma finally catching up to me. I’d be lying if I said that I’d never used my Ability for personal gain before. There were a few exams I managed to ace with the help of a well-timed touch of the hand and a few pitfalls I’d managed to avoid through a combination of sheer luck and a decently fast reflex. Perhaps six months ago, whatever granted me this power finally decided that I had a good run and it needed to end in the worst way possible...

And it all happened so quickly.

I never had much control over my visions to begin with and they never really bothered me before but suddenly, they were invading every part of my life—and with each vision I saw, the accuracy increased. My dreams became more vivid than ever; I would see things that had yet to occur and before I moved out, my college roommate would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of my screams. I started passing out in the middle of class if someone so much as tapped my bare shoulder and when I came to again, it would be a minute before I remembered where I was and what I was doing. I was starting to consider seeking some kind of help until one day, I finally saw my first death.

It was horrible. I was at dinner with friends on a group date and I hit it off with one of the guys. He wanted to take me to the movies that weekend, and being relatively new to college and Yokohama in general, I agreed. Then, smiling, he’d held my hand just a millisecond too long and I saw it: him getting hit by a car while crossing the street.

I tried not to think about it too hard. Sometimes the vision were wrong. There were times when they’d been off by just a fraction of a second and because of that, I still had hope. Maybe there was a chance that things could change last minute, either by a miracle or by someone’s sheer force of will. But as time passed, my anxiety grew. He was running late and I didn’t like it. Finally, I spotted him at the intersection and, frantic, I waved him down just as the “walk” sign lit up and he started crossing the street.

That’s when it happened.

A single black vehicle, no license plate, ran a red... and ran into him.

I would remember seeing his body flying into the air for the rest of the semester.

After that, I started taking an alternate route to class, just to avoid going anywhere near the part of campus where he’d died. It wasn’t that people were whispering behind my back or accusing me of having a part of it—I just couldn’t handle the memory.

That was the first death.

The first.

It was as if some kind of floodgate had been opened. I had never seen death before that day but after...? Death became all I saw. I briefly shook hands with a foreign exchange student and immediately saw an image of a middle-aged woman lying in a hospital wing. The woman had been the student’s mother and I heard she died a week later. I could not have been responsible for the cancer that claimed her life but I spent weeks feeling guilty about it anyway. There was another incident where I accidentally, and literally, bumped into my English teacher on the way to class. I saw his brother being hit by a bus downtown. His death was announced a month later, on the morning news. When I saw it, I broke down in the middle of the cafeteria and my friend Eri had to take me home.

And it just kept happening.

I became afraid to touch people. I began wearing longer layers during the summer months and started keeping to myself. When even a brush of the hand or bumping into people on public transit could trigger a vision, I started wearing gloves. I got a lot of stares on the subway for wearing itchy winter gloves in the subtropical heat and the knitted fabric made gripping the overhead handholds difficult so I ended up changing to disposable nitrile instead. I got less stares for that but unfortunately, I eventually had to give up public transit entirely when I got squished between two tourists and had a panic attack in the middle of the car.

But giving up public transportation put me in a tough spot. My dorm was pretty far from campus and I didn’t know how to drive. If I really wanted to, I could walk but that would take far too long and make for far too many chances to see another person’s death. And I really didn’t want to ask anyone for a ride because that would just mean more questions and more explanations I wasn’t willing to give.

And yet somehow, I managed to make it work for a time, waking up early to go to class, avoiding hangouts in-between classes and running back to my dorm as soon as I got a chance. But I was still attending classes with lots of people in a crowded lecture hall and living with roommates in a dormitory building. Ultimately, the stress of trying to avoid people while also trying to keep up with increasingly difficult classes caused me to start having nightmares. They were frequent and they were bad. And I knew that these were all things that would someday happen to me: me and a friend being held hostage in an abandoned apartment building, a woman in a suit and sunglasses pointing two machine guns directly at my face, a man didn’t recognize growing steadily colder in my arms as I screamed for him not to leave me...

That following morning, I woke up sobbing—crying as if I wished I was the one who had died instead. When my roommate tried to comfort me, I jerked away out of instinct and immediately realized I’d made a mistake.

And that was it.

I couldn’t it take any more.

About a week later, I left the dorm and found myself a tiny studio apartment, one that I could still afford on my shoestring budget and more importantly, one where I could live completely alone.

Soon after, I dropped out of college and became a shut-in. In true shut-in fashion, I shunned all contact from classmates and friends in case someone came to visit and decide they needed to barge in because they couldn’t—shouldn’t—do such a thing. My apartment had become both my sanctuary and my jail. So long as nothing changed around me, none of the horrible visions would come to pass.

Thankfully, a month into my new lifestyle, the nightmares stopped.

So long as nobody came near me, I wouldn’t have to witness another death with my waking eyes...

I still remembered the night I decided to stop going to class. It was the same night I looked out the windows and saw my own reflection, touched my fingers to my face and pulled them away, confirming that it was indeed blood and not salt tears that dripped down my cheeks. I started avoiding mirrors from that day on and threw myself fully into watching anime, joining fandoms and drawing commissions, anything to distract myself from the invasive, self-destructive thoughts that grew stronger whenever I looked into a reflection of my own eyes.

Yes... Staying was the only solution. If I never stepped out of the apartment again, the world would be spared the sight of my hollow eyes and bloody tears... And I—I would be spared the curse of witnessing things I should never have seen to begin with.

***

“So you’ve been holed up in your apartment for the last six months doing...”

Kunikida frowned, tapping his pen against his chin.

“What exactly? Rent in Yokohama isn’t cheap. How have you been supporting yourself?”

“Commissions,” I explained. “I started watching a lot of anime and playing video games and fans pay good money for drawings of their favorite characters, original characters or even pictures of themselves in a stylized form.”

Summing up my Ability meant practically telling these two my entire life story, not just recalling the events of this morning, and I had to commend the detectives’ patience for sitting through what I would’ve considered a pretty long-winded explanation. Now I was even telling them how I’d stretched my budget and supplemented my allowance.

I held out my hand.

“If I could have some paper and something to write with, I could show you, if you like...?”

Dazai immediately ripped Kunikida’s notebook and pen out of his hands. Ignoring his partner’s protests, he held them out to me and, throwing his arm out to keep Kunikida from taking back his own things, sat back to watch me draw. Within seconds, a coarse outline appeared on the pages, followed by facial features: eyes, nose, hair—a minute later, I handed back Kunikida’s notebook, a quick, rudimentary pen sketch of each detective on its two open pages.

As one, they leaned in to stare at it.

“This is pretty good,” Kunikida said, looking up at me. He squinted down at the page, tracing the lines with his fingers, mumbling, “Does my hair really look like that?”

“It is... isn’t it?” Dazai agreed, rubbing his chin.

As Kunikida puzzled over the drawing, a mischievous glint appeared in Dazai’s dark eyes.

“Kusunoki-san... Have you ever considered a career as a sketch artist?”

At once, Kunikida shot him a warning look.

“Don’t even think about it, Dazai,” he growled, “Making decisions without the President’s approval—”

“I’m not making a decision, only a suggestion,” Dazai declared. “And what’s wrong with a good suggestion?”

“Dazai...”

Ignoring Kunikida entirely, he turned to me.

“Really, I don’t know how we survived like this for so long. We’re a detective agency, one of the best in the city and yet, we don’t have a sketch artist... It’s a shame, don’t you agree, Kusunoki-san? What do you think? Interested in a change of career?”

“Wait... are you asking me to join you?” I asked warily, looking from one detective to the other. “Why would you want someone like me? I can’t fight. I don’t even know how to shoot a gun.”

“I’m asking you,” Dazai said pointedly, “if you would be interested in becoming a sketch artist. I mean, it just so happens that we are in dire need of one—(“No one said that!” Kunikida roared)—and you happen to have the exact skill set we are looking for! Not to mention you’re an Ability User... Just think of all the people you could help.”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, looking away, “Wouldn’t someone like me be more of a burden than an asset? I can’t even control my Ability, much less use it to help people—”

“But what if you could control it?”

I froze. Having had no control of my Ability for my entire life, the possibility hadn’t even occurred to me...

“There’s a way?” I asked, looking back up just as Dazai’s grin turned into a triumphant smirk. “How?”

“I could tell you,” he drawled, his smirk growing even wider, “But it’s a closely guarded secret. You’d have to join us if you want to find out... Of course, I’d be more than happy to vouch for you if you’d like to apply—”

“Dazai—!! You—!”

Kunikida was on his feet.

“We can’t just offer a job to every stray Ability User we rescue from the Port Mafia! Atsushi was one thing but—”

“Oh my, so you’d be perfectly fine sending a nice girl like her back into the jaws of the Port Mafia? Really, I thought better of you, Kunikiiiiiida-kun—”

“That’s not what I said!”

“So you agree, we should take her in?”

Kunikida’s face was in his hands.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but it’s not our decision to make! And besides, she’s clearly been through enough, what makes you think she would agree to—”

“I’ll do it.”

Kunikida’s mouth dropped open. He looked stunned.

“You will—? Wait, no, I never said I agreed—”

“Let me apply,” I said, looking him firmly in the eyes. “I want to help people. I’ve always wanted to. Isn’t that what you do here at the Agency? Use your special Abilities to make their lives better?”

“That’s true,” Kunikida admitted, folding his arms over his chest, “But this can be a dangerous job. Especially for a non-combatant. You almost died today! Why do you want to help people so bad? In fact, let me ask you...”

His eyes flashed from behind his glasses, his expression fierce.

“Why did you go so far for a neighbor with whom you weren’t particularly close?”

I glared right back.

“I had to save her.”

“But it sounds like you already did, when you pulled her off the sidewalk—”

“That’s not good enough!” I burst out, startling Kunikida. “How could I say I saved her, truly saved her, if I knew she was going to die in a week and I did nothing to stop it?”

My hands clenched into fists.

“That doesn’t count. Saving someone means seeing it through to the end, to fully committing yourself and doing what’s right! Isn’t that what you did for me? What both of you did to bring me here today?”

Kunikida was struck dumb. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Dazai got to his feet.

“I think it’s about time I take Kusunoki-san back to her apartment,” he said, making his way to the door, his long tanned trench coat swishing elegantly as he moved.

He patted Kunikida on the shoulder.

“I’ll let you think about what we should tell the President later.”

Kunikida instantly flushed an angry, embarrassed pink.

“Dazai, you—”

Ignoring his partner, Dazai called out to me.

“Kusunoki-san? I won’t be taking you back to your original apartment tonight. We’ll be going to one of the Agency’s safe houses instead. After everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Port Mafia had staked out your building and had someone ready and waiting for you at home. And if you’re wondering, Yamazaki-san is on her way to her nephew’s place in Nagano, so you won’t need to worry about her.”

“But what about my things?” I asked, “What am I gonna tell the landlord?”

“It’s already been taken care of,” Dazai replied, opening the door for me. “Shall we?”

[technical-adulting]

August Updates

Its a Saturday, and my only weekend day this week, as I'm picking up a shift for work tomorrow. People are back in the program setting, which is nice, but different, and a lot smaller. Not everyone is back yet, and we still can't really go out in the community with anyone. My shift tomorrow is residential, so we wouldn't be anyways, but, you know. It's a peaceful morning. Alyssa is making breakfast, it's sunny but cool outside, and I got to sleep in. There is still a lot going on, of course, but I've been grateful with the feeling of rest I've been given this week. Last night, I celebrated my mom's birthday, and I've had a few more chances to spend time with friends I haven't seen since before the quarantine, and honestly, longer. There's still work to do. BLM isn't a fad that we all needed to talk about for a few weeks and then ignore. Covid-19 is still killing people. Wear your mask in public, refrain from traveling, and quarantine if you do. Don't get angry if someone reports you for not following rules. The sooner we all comply, the sooner this will be over. Be safe and take care of each other. I'm working on getting slightly more efficient routines in place for myself. I started an intermittent fasting program in order to improve my eating habits. I was fasting for 18 hours and eating for 6, but now that I'm back at work it's actually closer to 22 or so. I'm not super hungry, as I've gotten used to my routine, so it doesn't bother me too much, though at the same time, I haven't seen a lot of progress either. I feel better. I don't feel sluggish as often, but I'm not really losing weight. I know I need to incorporate more exercise, so I've started using another app called Fabulous, that helps create morning, afternoon, and night rituals for you to follow, to improve routine and fit in healthy practices that otherwise I don't always think about. Some of my goals are to actually stick to an exercise regimen, and feel more rested. (I could probably benefit from a better skin care routine too but y'know, baby steps.) Alyssa has been trying IF with me too, though she isn't doing it as intensely as I am. It doesn't bother me and I'm really good at sticking to it, except for when I forget and eat something random (Like a tomato from my mom's garden, or I lick a spoon while baking), but the nice thing is, you also get days off, and I've been using them on the weekends so far.

I'm also excited to exercise more, because I know that will benefit Kiri. Kiri is a little high-strung, though honestly, she does really well. We just need to take her for longer walks, especially now that she can't be trusted in our fence. She has gleefully realized it is very easy to leap the fence, and does so without any effort. She always comes back once she is free, but not before looping the house and sometimes the adjacent field and wood at lightning speed. I tried to complete a second camp NaNoWriMo last month, to no avail. For some reason, it was really hard to just sit down and write a piece that was supposed to flow together. I plan to participate in the real naNoWriMo in November, and I worry that I'll struggle again unless I find some guidelines in the mean time to help me. I like writing short stories, and I've been told they're good. I think I need to piece the short stories into something more cohesive, and I can still follow some of the structure. It's just that the in-between parts, the explaining my world, the descriptions of characters, and how I want to portray their personalities officially seems more difficult. It feels like I should be ready by now. I have been telling stories about my characters for ages, literally these guys have existed for over 10 years, and yet when I sit down to actually tell a story that anyone could read, it feels like the way I want to tell it just wouldn't make sense to someone new. Maybe an outline would help. I don't know. One of my goals, leading up to November is to figure out some sort of guidelines for writing my first real draft. My other goal is to get more familiar with the political process. I feel like I never really learned how to vote. I know it's importance, and I plan to make my voice heard, but that's not enough. I'll be the first to admit, I do not watch the news. I don't have cable and I don't want it. I watch netflix and that's good enough for me. (And honestly, I don't even do that all the time.) But the first time I voted, back in 2016, I realized I hadn't known that local government was elected during the presidential election. This might sound silly, especially coming from an all honors student, who carried that into the honors program in college, but I realized I know very little about the voting process. I've been participating since then. I've allowed some news sources and a lot of social media shape my views, and I know I need to improve. I need to listen to the debates, I need to better understand the process, and I need my voice to be one that is informed, so the people I allow to speak for me, the people I allow to govern me, were actually influenced by my own understanding of what that entails. That's all of our duty. That's something we all need to be better at. I know it can be daunting and exhausting and feel like it will never help. In some ways, I'm very afraid that it won't, especially with Trump. He's already saying the polls are fake and that they will be inaccurate, and there are a lot of people who believe him. The thing is, he's not wrong. The polls are being messed with. Gerrymandering ensures that certain regions don't get as much of a say in the voting process, and especially with Covid, there will be whole regions (Likely those of lower income) that find they are unsure how/where to vote. Their voices matter the most, though. With mail-in ballots, there's a terrible chance that it will be inaccurate, as Trump has warned, but I worry that will come from his side. I worry he will argue inaccuracy if he doesn't win, he will call for recount after recount until magically the issue is corrected. Maybe this sounds conspiratorial to you, but I wouldn't put it past him. He has manipulated our nation into so much distrust of the system, but he is one of the reasons to not trust the system. Anyways, lets work together to get educated. We can't trust our officials to be honest with us, so we need to learn about it ourselves. You don't have to watch the news. Find a few good sources you trust, an online journal or something that gives impartial highlights, and go from there. Lets learn what it is we're supposed to be voting for. Lets form educations based on how we want to be governed, not how we want people to be taken advantage of. Not how we want to see certain people be stripped of their liberties. Lets vote for a nation that is supporting the people who live there, not attacking them.

[jalapeno-princess]

You’ve Got This

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Genre: FLUUUUUUFYYYYYY with a hint of suggestive content

The gif does not match the story at all but look at this dork I am so in love with him. Hey guys! So in honor of Mark’s 26th birthday, I have built up the guts to post a little somethin somethin and this is my first time posting any of my writings on my blog(I usually keep my stories in my notes I have about 30 of them but I’m very insecure and don’t think any of them are really that good) so please be gentle with my sensitive heart. But if y’all like this story, then maybe i’ll post more. The title doesn’t really make sense either but it’s whatever. I’m a part time teacher and a full time college student so sometimes life gets rough and I wish I had a boyfriend like Mark to hold me, love me, comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. Well, please enjoy!

Being a kindergarten teacher wasn’t easy. Especially because kindergarteners were at that age where they hardly knew anything other than what they learned from watching cartoons. But you knew from a very young age that you wanted to be a teacher. Back when you were still in college, there was a point where it got so difficult that you wanted to give up. In the first few weeks of teaching you realized it wasn’t everything you had hoped for. However, your devastatingly handsome boyfriend of 6 years would have never let you give up your dream.

You had met Mark in high school. Even back then, you had a huge passion for teaching, so you signed up to become a tutor for those who had a hard time in school. The first person who came running for your help, was no other than the infamous Jackson Wang. He was the captain of the basketball team, the cooking club and the leo club. Not only was he outgoing, but he was also very funny and sweet. All the girls were head over heels for him. You however, payed Jackson no mind. It was his quiet friend who had caught your eye. 

For your first few tutoring sessions, it was just you and Jackson. Although he was very good in social studies and economics, he wasn’t the best in science and math. The both of you hit it off pretty well to the point where you even considered yourselves friends. One day, he asked if he could bring his friend in for some help in Language Arts and you didn’t hesitate to say yes. The more, the merrier. But when he walked in that day, you regret giving Jackson the okay to bring him. 

Even if the two of you were in the same grade, you never had a chance to really cross paths with Mark. But seeing as how he was the pitcher of the baseball team, he was pretty well known throughout the school. He wasn’t as bubbly and loud as his younger friend, but his shyness and good looks had you crushing on him. Little did you know, Jackson was playing matchmaker. Jackson knew Mark really liked you and found it weird that the two of you had never spoke to each other before. Like you, Mark has seen you around multiple times and he always hears the teachers boast about how kind and intelligent you are. He also couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you were and how cute he thought your laugh was when he heard you talking with a friend. 

Jackson found it weird that Mark would just watch you from afar, but he knew his friend didn’t have the guts to tell you how he felt. “I could get you a date with her you know?” Mark gave him a knowing look. “It’s fine Jackson. Please. Let it be. We’ve never talked to each other. I don’t want her thinking I’m weird for liking someone I don’t know personally.” Jackson rolled his eyes. “Fine, I won’t say anything. But, you could join us on our tutoring sessions. She’s extremely smart and she knows how to make learning fun. You never know bro. Over the course of a few weeks, the two of you could fall in love. And I will be right, like I always am.” Mark scoffed. “The last time you claimed you were right, I almost lost a toe. I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore. But fine. I’ll come. That’s only because my grades aren’t doing so well right now.” Jackson wiggled his brows. “Okiedokie Mark. Whatever helps you sleep at night. By the way, don’t wear that ugly sweater vest. Stop borrowing Jinyoung’s clothes. It’s not a good look on you.”

 Introducing yourself to Mark wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be. But the poor boy had a brain the size of a peanut and the problem was, he was very soft spoken. He never asked you for help. He would wait until you offered. After two weeks and no progress between the two of you romantically, Jackson decided to take matters in to his own hands. Even if you hadn’t told him about your crush on Mark, he could see it in your actions and in your body language. You would always blush whenever he talked to you. When you had to lean over to check his answers, your hand would find his shoulder and your face would turn red at the touch. You also weren’t very discreet with stealing looks at him. Jackson caught you staring at him multiple times and took this as a sign to set the two of you up.

 You were in the library waiting for the two boys and your breath hitched when Mark walked in by himself. Normally Jackson always arrived first, or they would walk in together. So you knew something was up when he walked in alone. “Hey y/n.” You smiled politely at him and motioned for him to sit down. “Jackson isn’t here yet? That’s odd.” You hummed in agreement. After fifteen minutes of sitting in awkward silence, you decided to start helping Mark out while waiting. However, only half an hour in to tutoring, the two of you found yourselves talking about anything and everything and totally forgetting about Mark’s homework. 

What the two of you didn’t know, was Jackson watching the two of you from afar, smiling at how you were both hitting it off. Unfortunately, Jackson wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch. 

“Hey guys. Sorry I’m late. So Mark, did you confess your undying love and affection for y/n yet?” Mark’s eyes widened and you looked up at Jackson in curiosity. “I’m sorry, what?” Mark immediately frowned and Jackson started slowly backing away. “I’m taking that as a no. Well..I’m late to practice, I’ll see the two of you later bye!” As soon as he started walking away, Mark apologized for what had just happened and quickly packed some of his things away. “Y/n, please don’t listen to anything he just said. I think he might have a concussion-“ to Mark’s surprise, you grabbed on his wrist and motioned for him to sit down. “Is it true?” He sighed. “Well, I’m not in love with you. However, I do like you a lot. But I understand if you don’t feel the same. I can find someone else to tutor me if it makes you uncomfortable.” 

The peck on his cheek made fire run through his bones. “I like you too Mark.” From that day on, the two of you were inseparable and Jackson refused to ignore the fact that he was the reason the two of you were together. When you graduated from high school, he followed you to college where you majored in education and he majored in engineering. Mark was the most loving, caring and supportive boyfriend ever. 

After a year of attending college, the two of you moved in to an apartment near campus together and the thought of living with him made you excited, but also very nervous. However, you craved his presence more than anything else and it felt nice coming home to him after a long day of school and work. He would never fail to cook for you when you were tired, he would run you baths when you had a rough day and sometimes he even joined you. The only problem with living with him, was how he would force you to study. You hated studying. Even if you were going to school to become a teacher, the things you were learning about and studying were boring and sometimes you felt like it was a waste of time. The longer you stayed in college, the harder classes got and the more you cried. Luckily Mark was nothing but considerate and understanding and never failed to take care of you. 

On the days that you cried because the lessons were too tough and things weren’t going your way, he would pull you in to his embrace and cuddle you until you calmed down. On the nights you had to pull all nighters, he would stay up with you and helped you study. He would even write flash cards to quiz you with. There were some days where your schedules would clash and you wouldn’t get to see him until the end of the night. If he was at work, you were at school and vice versa. You really missed your boyfriend. Mark was your safe haven. Whenever he was around, you felt protected and loved. One thing that kept you going throughout the days you didn’t get to spend time with him were the little post it notes with cheesy pick up lines and cute little reminders he left for you around the apartment.

“Hey baby. I know homework is hard, but so am I. Do me instead.” “If you were a library book, I would check you out.” “I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?“ “I bought you ice cream. One pint for every day this week. I love you.” “Stop frowning. You’re going to get worry lines on that pretty face.” “Keep your head up my love, you’ll be a teacher in no time.”

He never failed to bring a smile to your face and he was the main reason why you didn’t want to give up. Other than your love for teaching, you wanted to make him proud. When you finally graduated from college, it was the best feeling ever and you knew you had your boyfriend to thank.  After graduation, Mark took you to the cutest little restaurant to celebrate and drove you to the beach afterwards. He placed a blanket on the sand and sat down, pulling you on to his lap shortly after. “Congratulations baby girl. The blood, sweat and tears were all worth it right?” You shrugged. “Honestly, I’m gonna wait a few months before jumping in to school, I need a break.” He laughed in to your shoulder. Once the two of you were done, the two of you went home and you showed your boyfriend just how thankful you were for him the entire night.

 After getting hired at the school you were teaching at, Mark made sure to help you set up your classroom and even bought some supplies for your upcoming students. You were very thankful you had such an amazing boyfriend who was so patient and supportive of your passions and dreams. Your first day of school was a breeze. The kids were all so cute and you were so excited to see what the rest of the school year would bring. Unfortunately, after only three weeks of teaching, you decided you were in over your head. 

When you came home one day and dropped your things on the floor, making a beeline for your room without greeting your boyfriend, Mark knew something was wrong. You felt your favorite pair of hands wrap around your waist and soon his chest was against your back. “Hey, everything okay?” You shook your head and turned around to face him. You buried your face in to the crook of his neck. “Why did I think I was cut out for this? It’s so hard. The kids don’t want to learn, they’re always crying, screaming and yelling and don’t want to listen to me. Also, since I’m a new teacher, I have the principal walking in and out of my class unannounced and I feel like I’m being judged with how I do things. I don’t know what to do anymore.” 

He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and lifted your chin so that you were making eye contact with him. “Baby, nobody is better for this job than you. Okay? You’ve wanted to be a teacher for as long as I could remember. I didn’t stay up all those nights helping you study or let you soak multiple shirts of mine with your tears for nothing bub. I know you can do this. I bet you’re an amazing teacher. If you can teach Jackson Wang math, you can teach a class of kindergarteners. Just give it time. Don’t give up just because you’ve had a rough couple of days. My baby isn’t a quitter. You’re stronger than that. You’re one of the most hardworking and dedicated people I know. How about I start you a bath and cook us some dinner?” You smiled up at him and pecked his nose. “I don’t deserve you. You’re too good to me.” He chuckled in to your hair. “Yes you do. You’re wonderful and I love you.” 

You talked your way in to getting Mark to join you in your bath and leaned in to his chest while he wrapped his arms around your waist and left chaste kisses along your jaw. “Babe.” You hummed. “Do you think I could come in one day and sit in on one of your classes? I wanna see you in action. I could even help out with your students if you’d like?” You turned around to caress his face. “I’d love that. And I love you. Thank you for all that you do for me. You’re the best boyfriend ever, you know that?” He chuckled. “I just love seeing you happy. And I know being a teacher makes you happy. Plus, I find it hot that you’re a teacher. We could role play. I can be a naughty student and you can punish me-“ you groaned in embarrassment and gently slapped his shoulder. Mark tended to be a horndog at all the wrong times.

The next day, Mark accompanied you to school and you introduced him to your students. The girls couldn’t stop squealing over how handsome he was and soon he was becoming a distraction. You couldn’t help but snicker at how your students started fighting over him. At recess, they all asked to play with him and even begged him to carry them. Throughout the day, your stomach was constantly filled with butterflies at the sight of how well your boyfriend got along with your students. You couldn’t help but think about your future with him. If he was this good with your class, what more when the two of you had your own kids? 

With Mark being there, everything seemed to get better. The kids behaved more, a lot of the ones who were quiet were more interactive and everyone was competing to catch Mr.Mark’s attention. When you returned back to your classroom after dropping your students off to lunch, you pulled Mark in to your embrace and placed a long, passionate kiss on his lips. “Thank you for coming today. You really took a weight off my shoulders. They’re all so in love with you. Maybe you could come all the time.” His laugh echoed throughout the room. “As much as I love seeing you do your thing, I have a job too. You’re so cute you know that? And stop selling yourself short. You’re a magnificent teacher babe. I loved watching you today. You were born to be a teacher. You make my heart very happy. The kids seem to really like you. If they give you a hard time, tell them Mr.Mark is going to scold them.” 

You beamed at him and went to place a soft kiss on his lips. The two of you were so busy in your little world, you failed to hear the door open and didn’t notice someone walk in until you heard a scream. “Ew! Miss y/n and Mr.Mark are kissing!” The whole class erupted in shrieks and you rolled your eyes as you sent Mark back to where he was sitting. Once school was finally over and all the kids were gone, you walked over to Mark and stood between his legs as his hands found purchase on your waist. “You know they’re going to expect you to come more often now. They’re so in love with you.” He smirked. “I can’t blame them, I’m a catch.” 

He pulled you down to sit on his lap and placed a kiss on your forehead. “A few of your students told me how lucky I am to be your boyfriend and how I need to “take care of their favorite teacher”. I’m so proud of you my love. This is all you’ve wanted and more.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and sighed in contempt. “I owe it all to you. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t have you to motivate me and push me to chase after my dreams. I love you.”

 He started leaving kisses along your neck and you quietly moaned in to his shoulder. “I love you more. Hey babe?” You looked up at him in curiosity, a bit upset that he pulled away. “I’ve been a naughty school boy. You should teach me a lesson.” You groaned. “You killed my vibe, I’m out of here.” He snickered. “But y/n, you love my pickup lines! What about this one, If you were my homework I’d slam you down on my desk and do you.” You gathered your things and walked towards the door. “Where are you going?! I have more!”

[lost-n-stereo]

A/N: Nabrina Prompt #18 “Did i ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are?”

and I keep waiting (but I won’t say I’m waiting)

They say time heals all wounds.

That would be great if she wasn’t practically immortal, in an odd limbo where her body is barely changing but her friends are growing up and moving on.

You would think that it would hurt less as the days go by, since it’s been nearly two years since Nick sacrificed himself for the greater good and Lilith took him to hell. Except, he didn’t sacrifice himself for the greater good, he sacrificed himself for her. And that makes it a hell of a lot tougher to let go.

The first few months were the worst, when it was still fresh, always there in the back of her mind that he was possibly suffering in hell because of her. She took solace in Lilith’s promise to watch over him but it didn’t keep her from imagining horrible scenarios of torture and pain.

The Fright Club met often, dreaming up ways to go into hell to rescue Nick. They plotted ways to get Lucifer out of his body, searched tomes and spell books for clues or incantations, but always came up just a little too short.

Things changed within their friend group gradually over the last two years of mortal high school. Theo started dating a sweet girl from Riverdale and started spending less time with them. Roz and Harvey took a break in their junior year, in which time Sabrina and Harvey gave it another shot. They soon realized their mistake, that their love was one based in their past, and it wasn’t long before Harvey and Roz were back together for good.

Sabrina wasn’t waiting for Nick, exactly, but she always had him in the back of her mind. And always in her heart. She went on dates with nice boys, mortal and warlock alike, but never felt the connection she’d had with him.

“Tell me again why I decided to go to school all the way across the state,” Roz says, her voice pulling Sabrina out of her mind and back into the room her best friend is currently packing up.

“Because it’s fun and exciting,” Sabrina says, shaking off her inner monologue, as she grabs a pink stuffed bunny off of Roz’s nightstand. “Are you taking Mr. Wiggles with you?”

Roz laughs. “I’m eighteen now. Do I really need to bring my childhood toys with me to college?” She nibbles on her bottom lip and both girls speak at the same time.

“Yes.”

Sabrina giggles and sets the bunny on an already packed suitcase. “I think he’ll fit right in. Are the boys still meeting us at the diner before you head out?”

“Yeah, Theo said they would meet us around five.”

It’s been a summer full of the four of them, which isn’t to say it’s been much different than every summer since before she could remember.

Summer always comes with an expiration date. The days are long and warm, afternoons spent in Sweetwater River playing and splashing around with the kids from across the water and nights spent at bonfires and house parties. Fall is always a surprise no matter how much you’re prepared for it. She used to wait all summer long for autumn to hit. It meant her favorite season, her birthday and all the fun witchy holidays that she loved so much.

Now it’s just a reminder that high school is over and everyone is going their separate ways.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be all alone here for awhile,” Sabrina says wistfully. “Greendale won’t be the same without you guys.”

Roz stops packing, drops the dress she was holding into the open suitcase in front of her without folding it, and curls up on her bed with Sabrina. “You have so many responsibilities at the academy, time is going to fly by and before you know it, it’ll be Christmas break.”

“Winter solstice,” Sabrina amends and they both laugh. “You’re right. I’m just going to miss you all so much.”

They hug and Roz gives a watery laugh as she pulls away. “Okay, no more crying. We’re going to go have fun and we won’t be saying goodbye tonight. Just a ‘see you soon’.”

Sabrina nods and stands, wiping the corner of her eye with her thumb. “You’re right. Let’s get you packed up. You’ve got a long car ride ahead of you in the morning.”

*** The sun is shining high and bright when she wakes up the next day.

A look at her bedside clock tells her that it’s after nine, which means Roz and Harvey are already on the road and headed to their new school. Sabrina wasn’t surprised when Harvey told her months ago that he was applying to the same school as his girlfriend. Their relationship was built to last and it made her happy knowing they would have each other living so far from home. Theo wasn’t going far, only a short two hour drive away, so Sabrina knew she’d see him more often than the others.

She tried not to think about how she was losing her mortal friends to the real world. Instead, she decided to focus her attention to her non-mortal side and all of the people she still had here at home.

When Father Blackwood took off the Church of Night was left with only a handful of people, not many students at all. But with Aunt Zelda becoming High Priestess it brought forth a whole new group of witches and warlocks that were eager to study under her new leadership.

“Sabrina!”

Speaking of Aunt Zelda…

“I’m up!” She calls, popping up out of bed refreshed and ready to begin the next chapter of her life. Salem meows from his window perch and Sabrina smiles, scratches him on the head behind his ears the way she knows he likes. “You may not be a real cat, Salem. But you sure do purr like one.”

Twenty minutes later they are on their way to the academy, with Aunt Hilda and Ambrose in tow. Rebuilding the Church of Night was a family effort, one that Sabrina has not yet lived full time because of her dedication to finishing mortal high school. Now, she can not only help her family in their quest to make the church one that is wholly inclusive and thriving, but she can finish her dark arts studies without having to juggle her mortal ones.

“Conjuring today, eh Sabrina?” Ambrose asks as they walk through the doors of Gehenna Station. After passing all of her general courses last semester she’s finally able, and more than ready, to start her conjuring training.

In reality, she doesn’t need schooling or classes or spells, even. Learning you’re the daughter of Lucifer Morningstar, with power most witches and warlocks can only imagine, was difficult to come to terms with. She decided that she wouldn’t use those powers unless absolutely necessary and instead sticks to the magic used by everyone else.

“I’m excited,” she says as they pass the new sculpture in the center of the room, Lilith in her true form, beauty and power emanating from the carved stone. “Conjuring was always Nick’s favorite...”

Ambrose frowns when he sees Sabrina’s face fall. “I’m sorry, cousin. I know it doesn’t get any easier. But one day, maybe…”

“It’s a big maybe, Ambrose,” she says sadly. “Plus, there’s no use thinking about it constantly. Thinking about it changes nothing. I’m going to focus on what is happening in the here and now.”

“Good on you, Sabrina.” Aunt Zelda steps up beside her and looks up at the statue of Lilith. “I’m sure the Queen of Hell is watching over your young warlock as we speak. She knows how important he was to you.”

“Is,” Sabrina corrects gently. “How important he is to me.”

***

August turns into September and then into October with little fanfare.

She keeps in touch with Harvey, Roz and Theo over group chats and Skype sessions. There are tentative plans for Halloween, also known as her birthday, but she knows there are no guarantees when it comes to long distance friendships. They have mortal responsibilities that she just doesn’t have any more.

Besides, even if her eighteenth birthday is spent with just her aunties and Ambrose, it will still be fun.

“I love this weather,” Sabrina says to Ambrose as they walk through the woods on their way home from the academy. “The sky looks like it could crack open at any time. I can’t wait for the rain to begin.”

“Agree completely, cousin. All feels right in the world when it’s dark and gloomy.”

Sabrina kicks a small rock out of the way of the path with the toe of her boot. “How’s Prudence? Have you spoken with her?”

Ambrose shrugs and offers a small smile. “Still on the hunt for her father, o’course. I wish I could be out there with her but…”

“But Aunt Zelda needed you,” Sabrina finishes for him and he nods.

“She’s a strong girl, that one. I know she’ll find him and when she does…I’ll be there to help take him down.”

It’s been strange being at the academy without Prudence, especially considering two thirds of the Weird Sisters are still attending students. Dorcas and Agatha have been unlikely friends, although Sabrina thinks sometimes it’s her heritage they admire in her and not her personality.

Still, it’s nice to have friends.

“So what’s the big plan for your birthday this year, cuz? Your friends making the trip?”

Sabrina sighs. “I’m honestly not sure. They are so busy with school and the distance is a lot. I’m hopeful but won’t be disappointed if they can’t make it.”

“Very mature of you,” he says with a grin and she smacks him on the arm.

“Well I am almost an adult.”

Ambrose snorts, winds his arm through Sabrina’s and leads her towards their house.

“Trust me, cousin. You’re nowhere near an adult. Now your 118th birthday? That’s when the real fun begins.”

***

A knock on the front door wakes her up at 12:03 am on October 31st.

“Can’t even get a good night’s sleep the night before my birthday,” she mumbles as she climbs out of bed, slipping into a robe and a pair of slippers to save her bare feet from the cold wood floor.

No one else in the house woke up to the knock, which surprises her not at all. Her family sleeps like the dead most of the time and the knock isn’t particularly loud or demanding. In fact, she’s shocked that she heard it at all.

It doesn’t occur to her to maybe be wary of a knock sounding at midnight. There could be an untold number of dangers awaiting her on the other side but she doesn’t feel fearful at all.

Nothing can prepare her for what’s actually on the other side of the door.

“Happy Birthday, Spellman.”

Sabrina’s breath catches in her throat and she’s scared this is some kind of trick. An evil manipulation, perhaps, although she has no current enemies that she can think of. Except Lucifer, obviously, but he’s supposed to be in hell. In Nick. Except…

“Nicholas?”

“Hello, Sabrina.”

He looks exactly the same as when she last saw him, except his eyes aren’t red with the devil inside. There are no marks or blemishes on his skin, no visible signs of torture like she was afraid of.

“How…? What…?”

Nick chuckles softly. “Two very excellent questions. Sabrina…”

Her name is barely out of his mouth when she flings herself at him, her hands coming up to touch his hair, his face, his shoulders. He’s so solid and strong and real.

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” she says, relishing the feel of his arms around her waist. “I don’t know how this is possible but I almost don’t care.”

“Lilith,” he whispers. “She found a way to contain him in Hell. I can explain it all to you but right now…”

His fingers card through her hair and she smiles against his lips when he presses them to hers.

“Your hair is longer,” he says when they pull apart. His eyes are intense when he looks down at her and she blushes.

“What?”

“Did i ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are? Because the memory of them has kept me sane for the last two years and now, looking into them…it’s like a dream come true.”

Her blood warms at his confession. “Nicholas.”

He kisses her again and she can feel in that single moment the amount of love and devotion that he has for her. Nothing that’s ever happened in her life thus far feels like this.

“I know we have a lot to talk about,” he says, his eyes downcast. “So much happened before I left and I know how angry you must be with me.”

Sabrina shakes her head, puts her hand on his cheek so he’s forced to look at her. “I was angry, Nick. But I also missed you terribly. And I know why you did what you did. It doesn’t make it easier or excuse it but I do understand.”

“I’m so sorry, Spellman.” He practically collapses into her when he hugs her again and she can actually feel the wave of exhaustion roll off of him. “I promise to make it up to you.”

“Stay here tonight,” she whispers. “Come with me.”

She holds her hand out and he takes it, bringing it up to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

There is a piece of parchment on her bed that wasn’t there before. She turns it over in her hands to see a simple line etched in black ink.

Happy Birthday Sabrina. I told you I’d take good care of him.

“What is that?” Nick asks, coming around behind her to rest his chin on her shoulder.

“A birthday present from Lilith,” she says as she leans back into him.

“The parchment?”

Sabrina laughs, turns around in his arms and brings his head down for a kiss. “No, silly. It was you.”

***

She wakes up hours later to her aunts’ surprised voices.

“Nicholas? What are you doing here?!”

“And in Sabrina’s bed, no less!”

“Aunties,” she says, pulling her blanket up around her and Nick. “I’m eighteen and my boyfriend just escaped hell. Can you cut me a little bit of a break?”

Hilda mumbles something about baking a cake and Zelda eyes Nick carefully.

“We’ll expect a full report of how exactly you’re back,” she says and Nick nods earnestly. “Well then, have a good morning you two.”

Ambrose passes by the doorway as Zelda is leaving. “Happy birthday, cousin.” He does a double take when he sees Nick. “Nicholas, good to have you back, friend.”

Nick laughs when the door closes again. “Your family is something else, Spellman.”

She turns so they are lying face to face. “I still can’t believe you’re here. In the flesh, lying next to me right now. I thought this day would never come.”

“Not me,” he says seriously. “Every single day I had to be away was just one day closer to being with you again.”

Sabrina sighs happily and lets him pull her body flush with his so he can kiss her. “Nick…what would you have done if I had, you know, moved on?”

“Cried.”  They both laugh and he drops feather light kisses to her nose, then her cheeks and forehead.  “It wouldn’t have mattered. As long as you’re safe and happy, that’s all I care about. You’re all I care about.”

He snuggles closer to her and kisses the top of her head.

“It would have really fucking sucked though.”

Sabrina laughs out loud, pulls him so he has to brace himself on both hands over her.

“Good thing for you the other boys I dated were so bland.”

Nick kisses her, presses his body down on hers a bit before sitting up with a start.

“Wait…what other boys?”

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[dustofinsanity]

𝑈𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘

ㅤㅤ

Namjoon / Reader ㅤㅤㅤ Arranged marriage AU ㅤㅤㅤ Words count: 8.1k

Summary:  Y/n's fate was already decided before she could realise it. She had to learn a lot of things, more than normal students had to, how to behave with important people, how to act like a girl from a good family even if hers was like all the others, etc... She didn't know about the plan.

Content/Warning: Angst, Romance/Fluff, Smut.

Everything seemed a bit too big around you the first time you came to that house, too big and luxurious. It looked like a castle straight out of a fairytale for the 4 year old girl you were and, even if it was more than beautiful, you knew you didn't belong to this world. Your family was like any other and you lived with the bare minimum, your dad always saying you didn't need more to be happy. And he was right! Even if you didn't have a lot of toys or beautiful clothes, you loved your life and didn't want it to change. But at first glance, it wasn't your parents' opinion. Honestly, you loved your parents more than everything and nothing or no one could change that but, like all parents, they wanted the best for their child without taking the time to know what their dear and lovely daughter wanted. They were thinking they knew what was good for you and you couldn't blame them. They were only parents after all and, even if they thought otherwise, they couldn't know everything. But, like you said, you couldn't blame them, they were your parents, they were doing their best for you and just wanted you to be happy. "What are we doing here, mommy?" You asked, pulling softly on her dress when a tall man who looked like a penguin to you with his black and white suit came and invited the three of you to follow him to the grand salon. That was the first time you saw him, this cute little boy who seemed a bit too serious for his age. He was standing next to his mother, hands hidden behind his back and head up. His father, a man with a sharp jawline and wide shoulders, greeted your family warmly and took your dad in his arms, calling him his old brother and saying it was a pleasure to see him after all these years. You didn't know you had an uncle, even less a rich one. "Joonie, go show Y/n our garden." The beautiful woman smiled to her son, pushing him a little. "Big people need to speak together." "Yes, eomonie." He simply replied, coming slowly towards you and inviting you to follow him outside. Even if he was young, that Joonie acted like an adult, using a formal language and keeping a serious expression on his face. When you asked him how old he was, he told you he was older than you by two years and chuckled a bit seeing you counting on your fingers. Cool! You always wanted a big brother or someone to see as that! You were strolling in the garden, Joonie giving you the name of all the flowers, when something caught your attention. Even if the house was like an enchanted castle, there was nothing that could help people to know a young boy was growing here. There were no toys, bikes, swings or anything for a kid. Frowning, you looked all around when Joonie noticed your face and asked what was wrong. "I don't need toys." He answered when you asked him where his toys were. "I don't have time to play." You were about to say that every kid had time to play when his mother called you from the grand salon balcony. You ran to the house, without noticing Joonie didn't follow you, and when you hugged your mother's leg, you saw the smile on your parent's faces. They were happy while Joonie's seemed a bit concerned. "Don't worry about Y/n." Your father said to his brother. "She will be perfect."

A few years passed by and, for the sweet and cute 10 year old girl you became, things got both fun and a bit weird. A couple of times a week, you had lessons on how to behave around important people, how to talk, laugh and even smile in a specific way, how to walk with your back straight, etc... Other days, you had to learn a lot of things that seemed a bit too difficult for the kid you were. Oh and you even had to learn piano! You wanted electric guitar but your professor told you it didn't fit the kind of girl you had to be. It was hard and you were really tired some days but, somehow, you liked that. It made you feel you were a poor little girl who learned how to be a princess and your parents were pretty proud of their dear daughter.

Even if they didn't show it. You knew your parents loved you, you could feel it deep down, but they changed drastically the day you met Joonie's family. Your dad was a bit more strict and your mom didn't smile as often as she did it before. They even stopped playing with you and locked most of your toys in chests, letting you only have three or four stuffed animals. When you asked what you'd done wrong, they just told you a girl like you didn't have time to play, that you had to focus on your lessons and nothing else. You cried a lot that night, alone in your room which looked so empty to you. You cried until you fell asleep. Hopefully, there was a light through the dark clouds, a light that made you smile everytime you saw it, a light that helped you to keep a smile on your face. Jung Hoseok aka Hobi. This lovable, kind, funny and so special kid, who moved next to your house few months before your tenth birthday and who was older than you by two years, always reminded you that, even if your parents were strict and asked you to be the perfect little girl, you didn't have to forget how to live happily. At first, your dad didn't like the fact you got along great with Hobi but your mom said that since you didn't have a lot of friends because of the lessons that take a lot of your time, they could let you for this time. "She won't end up with him, you know that." She told him, a hand on his shoulder while they were looking at Hoseok and you. But it didn't seem to ease your father's concern because, as soon as your lessons were over, you always ran to Hobi's house and spent a lot of time playing with him. He was even more afraid when you said you couldn't live without your Hobi, without your sunshine. From that day, Joonie was more present in your life. You already saw him a lot of times, almost once a month, but now, you had to see him once a week and, you had to admit, you didn't really like it. Joonie, whose real name was Namjoon, was kind, you couldn't deny it, but he also was too serious. If Hobi was your sunshine, your day, your energetic light, Joonie was your night, your moon, your peaceful darkness. Everything seemed too... boring with Namjoon even if he knew a lot of things and was pretty fascinating for a boy of his age. "Y/n? Are you listening to me?" Joonie asked while you were falling asleep on his desk. "I want to play hide and seek." You muttered before yawning and hearing him sigh. "Joonie, you have the perfect house to play hide and seek. You even could ask Hobi to come and play with us. He's-" "Don't talk about him." He cut you off, closing the book in front of him. "I know Hoseok, we go to the same school. You shouldn't be friends with him." "Uh? Why? Why are you saying this? He's nice and-" "Weird. He's weird. Everyone make fun of him because he looks like an idiot. I don't say he is an idiot but he's not good en-" You didn't let Namjoon finish and slapped him, tear falling from your eyes and teeth clenched. Immediately, a maid entering the room and asked what the noise she just heard was but froze when she saw the young boy with his red cheek. Then, she started to scold you, saying a good girl couldn't do this but you weren't listening to her, too focused on Namjoon, trying not to give him another slap. How could your moon talk about your sun like that ?

When you were a little girl, you were always saying that you would be a nice teenager, the kind of girl everyone would love and who would make her parents proud. Well... Things didn't turn out like you thought. You weren't the bad girl of the college, not at all, but you didn't have friends, you didn't want any to be honest, and, even if you didn't pay attention in classes, you got pretty good grades. You spent most of your time sending messages to Hobi and, when school was over, you always ran to your secret place, your "full of people we don't know" secret base: Hoseok's uncle's bar. It felt odd but also a bit sad when you came here because you felt safe in this place, safe and at home, not your real one but the one you liked the most. Every time Hobi's uncle welcomed his nephew and you with your favourite drinks and led you to "your" table, where you could be alone and talk about your days, your present, future and dreams. These moments were so precious to you and you didn't want them to end. But your parents were always here to remind you that you could never get what you wanted. "They will be mad at you if you miss another lesson." Hobi sighed, seeing your father's name popping up for the fifth time on your phone screen. "Good for them." You shrugged, taking a sip of your soda. "I'm tired of these shits. They want me to be a princess and I really hate it. Trust me, Hobi, as soon as I get my degree, I'm leaving this crazy house." "Don't say that, Y/n. Even if they do it the wrong way, your parents want the best for you. You should try to understand them." "I liked you better when you told me to live happily." "I grew up. I realised that we can't always get what we want." He smirked sadly, taking a sip of his beer. Frowning, you looked at him and immediately understood he was hiding something. Actually, you had noticed Hobi was acting weird for a few months but, when you asked what was wrong, he always changed the subject and smiled, saying he was with you so nothing could be wrong. You wanted to believe him, you really did, but you also knew him and you knew he was surely hiding this thing to protect you. Hoseok was always like that even if he knew it wasn't really a good thing. When he knew something could hurt the people he loved, he would hide it and try to fix everything on his own. He wanted to help everyone but, this time, you knew he couldn't, you understood he couldn't help you and seeing him like that worried you more that what he was hiding. "I thought you both would find a better... secret base than this bar." Someone chuckled, dragging you out of your thoughts. "I think you have a lesson now, Y/n." "Yeah, like yesterday, tomorrow and the other fucking days of the week." You sighed without looking at the tall man behind you. "How did you know I was here, Joonie?" "I told him." Hobi dropped, making you choke on your soda. "He has something to tell you." "Mind your own business, Hoseok." Namjoon growled, grabbing your arm and forcing you to stand up. "If you don't, I will." Staring at both of them, you couldn't say anything, too shocked about the fact that your sun told your moon where to find you. Why did he do this? And what did he want Namjoon to tell you? What were they hiding? "Tell me what's the fuck is happening!" You exclaimed, taking you arms out of Joonie's grip. "What do you have to tell me, Joonie?" The tall man in front of you sighed, rubbing the top of his nose and uttering some insults towards Hobi. You could see he didn't want to tell you what was happening, you knew him too, and you also could guess he was a bit... worried? "Tell me!" You repeated, losing your patience. "When you graduate-" Hoseok started to say. "We're gonna get married." Namjoon cut him off, looking straight into your eyes.

Everything went wrong, really wrong, as soon as you learned about this fucking arranged marriage. You? Married to Joonie? Hell no! He was like a big brother to you! He tried to keep you away from all the men in this world, expected you to be the smartest girl of the country by forcing you to learn things you weren't interested in or even showed you how to behave in some important situations. Wait... Oh God! It felt like a stab in your back, a deadly betrayal, a truth that ended all the last hopes you had and you couldn't believe your big brothers, the annoying one and the funny one, would be the ones who would do this to you. Both tried to explain the whole situation and apologised for keeping it hidden from you but it was stronger than you, you couldn't forgive them. Hobi was the first who tried to talk to you but, since you didn't want to meet or even see him, he send you a lot of messages instead, explaining to you his side of the story and it was matching to what Joonie told you a few days after by messages too. But their explanations hurt you more. From what you understood, your parents arranged your marriage the first day Joonie and you met but you didn't seem good enough for the young boy so his parents payed for all you lessons. How could your parents agree for that?! You couldn't believe that! But what Joonie told you after made you understand everything. Your dad worked as a bodyguard for Namjoon's father almost 10 years before you were born and, since his father always saw yours as a big brother, he wanted to do something for him. When he learned your mom gave birth to you, he proposed to marry you with his son, promising you would live like a princess, which was what your father wanted the most on Earth. So your parents agreed for this shit. Joonie knew it even before he met you and, to make his parents proud, he never said anything against the idea, playing his role until the end. But there was a problem: Hobi, your sun, the one who could make you smile without saying or doing anything. They were all afraid you could fall in love with your dear and sweet friend. Therefore, Joonie talked with him and told him everything about your parent's plan. Of course, Hoseok was mad at him and was against the idea of seeing you marry a man you didn't love the way your parents wanted to. He knew you liked Joonie, he knew you saw him as a big brother but nothing more. He couldn't accept this, he loved you too much to let you leave with Namjoon. At first, your moon thought that your sun was in love with you and wanted to take you away but it was more complicated that that and, after they fought, Hobi told him what he was feeling for you. Yes, your funny big brother loved you and wanted you to be the happiest girl in this world but he wasn't in love with you. What was between both of you was stronger than a simple friendship or love, it was inexplicable, nameless. And that was why you couldn't understand why he didn't tell you anything about the marriage, why he betrayed you. You were surrounded by liars, people who wanted to decide for you what your life would be but... You wouldn't let them. So, like said earlier, things went wrong, really wrong, for almost 4 years. You wanted to make them pay, to make them regret what they did to you and you knew the best way was to disappoint them more than they could imagine. Therefore, you started to hang out with bad people, fight and drink, keeping your grades as higher as possible to get your degree and leave far away. Oh and you also got a tattoo in your lower back that you proudly showed wearing low waist pants. Hobi tried to stop you once, saying you didn't have to do all this shitty things but you were so mad at him that you punched him right in the face, growling at him to stay away from you. Your parents also tried to set you straight, afraid that Namjoon's parents could cancel the marriage but your reaction caught them off guard. You weren't their little lovely girl anymore, you've changed and you just laughed in their faces. And you got what you wanted. After a year, Joonie's parents cancelled the marriage, saying their son couldn't marry someone like you. Someone like you... Haha! That sounded funny in your ears. They were the ones who wanted to manipulate your life without letting you know and you were the bad guy of the story? Yeah, really funny! "Miss, someone came to pay your bail." The cops informed you, opening your cell while you were lying down on the not so comfortable bed. "Get out and stop your shit." "Can I get candies if I'm a good girl?" You asked, grinning pretentiously and licking your lips. "Who's the dumbass who paid?" "Me. Again." A loud sigh parted your lips as you rolled your eyes and faced Namjoon. Why did he always have to be here when you were in trouble, or, more often, locked in the police station cell? For the seventh time in two months, he paid your bail and gave a deadly stare at the cops when the old man asked why a smart man like Namjoon was wasting his time with someone like you. "See you soon." You smirked to the cops, patting his shoulder and following Joonie outside. Enjoying the fresh night air, you stretched and lit up a cigarette but Namjoon took it quickly from your mouth and threw it away, telling you not to smoke. Rolling your eyes again and chuckling a bit, you lit another cigarette and started to walk away. "Thanks for the bail." You shouted without looking at him and lifting your middle finger. "Hope we don't meet ever again." You blew the smoke and checked your phone to see what time it was when Namjoon grabbed your arm and made you face him, throwing away your cigarette once again. Growling, you told him not to touch you and tried to take your arm away but he tightened his grip and without saying anything, forced you to follow him to the parking lot. "Get in the car." He urged you coldly, opening the passenger door of his luxurious car. "Now." "Or what? You'll tell my parents?" "Get in the car right now, Y/n." He then growled, looking straight into your eyes. You never saw him like that, you never saw so much anger in his mesmerising eyes and, you couldn't deny it, you were a bit afraid. You knew he wouldn't hit you but you also knew Namjoon's best weapon was words and there were some truths you didn't want to hear. Teeth clenched and swallowing, you got in his car and watched him walk to the other side and sit next to you. On the way to "You-didn't-know-where-the fuck-you-were-going", you looked at the city flashing before your eyes through the window, not daring to look at Joonie or saying anything. Actually, you didn't have to look at him to know or feel he was more than angry, his hands firmly gripped onto the steering wheel. He wanted to say something, he was easy to guess, he wanted to say that what you were doing was just bullshit and you were better than this but he knew you would laugh in his face. The city was far behind you and everything outside was dark when Namjoon parked his car in front of a small restaurant that was surprisingly still open at this hour. Furrowing, you looked at the sign then at the young man who got out of the car, telling you not to move. "Where do you want me to go, you stupid moon?" You grumbled, watching him entering the restaurant. It only took him a few minutes before he came back to the car, a paper bag in his hands, and from what you could smell, he bought hot noodles. "You drove up here for noodles?" You frowned while he was taking out two cups from the paper bag. "No." He replied, handing you a cup. "I came here to see my mother." "Your mother? Since when she's working in a rest-" "My real mother." You stared at him, eyes wide open. His real mother? What the... No, it was a joke, he was smirking, he was joking. But no, he wasn't and what he told you broke your heart more than it should be. Namjoon's parents, the ones you met, adopted him the day he was born but hid it from him until he was twelve. Then, when he was old enough to understand their actions, they told him his real mother was his adoptive one's best friend and that she got pregnant while she was dating an odd guy. Unfortunately, this odd guy ran away as soon as he knew about the baby and the woman found herself alone during her pregnancy knowing she couldn't take care of the baby on her own. But she knew her best friend couldn't have a baby even if it was what she wanted the most in this world. So they made a deal: When Namjoon would be born, Mr and Mrs Kim would adopt him. "When they told me about my story, they gave me my real mother's name and we met her here." He continued, looking straight at the restaurant. "I try to visit her as often as I can. She's a really good woman who works hard and, even if she don't earn a lot of money, she always sends me gifts for my birthdays and Christmas." You were in shock, mouth agape, staring at Namjoon who told you everything so calmly that you could hardly believe it was true. Moreover, you didn't understand why he told you about his story. He probably wanted to show you how stupid you were acting because of the arranged marriage, because of a lie. And, somehow, he was right but you were still to hurt from all the people who lied to you that you couldn't think properly. And it made you chuckle. Raising an eyebrow, Namjoon looked at you from the corner of his eyes and finished his noodles before starting his car and drove you back to the city. When he parked in front of your parent's house, he waited for you to get out of the car but you had another idea in mind. Without saying anything, a naughty grin across your lips, you crawled onto his lap and, grabbing his shirt to pull him closer to you, kissed him fervently. You thought you would catch him off guard but you opened your eyes wide when you felt him slide an arm around your lower back and a hand to your neck, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss even more. You were stupefied by how your bodies moved in a perfect harmony, how your tongues danced together with such synchrony, how your skin reacted at Namjoon's touch. By how your heart raced when you felt like you were his. You wanted more, so much more, but, before you could even realise, you put your hands on his chest and pulled away, out of breath and eyes wide open while he was contemplating your face, his tongue licking his lower lip slowly. "That was what you wanted, right?" You breathed, half angry, half needing for more. "No but I wouldn't say no." He smirked, sliding his hands on your hips. "And I'm glad I didn't." "Why are you doing this, Joonie?" You asked, sitting back on the passenger seat and pulling your hair back. "Why do you keep helping me when I'm in trouble? The marriage was cancelled. How long are you going to act like you care about me?" "Until you love me back." Back?

Namjoon's words had the effect of a bomb in your mind and heart. Until you loved him back? But he never loved you, you were just the girl he was going to have to marry because of your parents stupid deal. He couldn't... Or... You thought you'd go insane with all the questions that were turning in loop in your head. Questions... and memories. You couldn't forget this night, what you had learned, the kiss you gave him and the way Joonie gave it back to you, the contact of his hands on you, the way you felt in his arms and how he looked at you with some desire and love. Even when you tried to think about something else, the pictures of what happened in the car always came back right in front of your eyes, reminding you how much you wanted to live it over and over again. But, before you could take another step towards Namjoon, before you could ask for more, you needed to be more than sure about his and your feelings, about what both of you really wanted. And you knew who could help you but, unfortunately for you, the one who could help you to clean the mess your mind became was also one of the people you hurt the most. Would he agree to talk or see you? Did he even remember you? Sat at what was your table in your "full of people we don't know" secret base, heart racing and focused on the clock right above the counter, you were waiting for your sun, the light you chased away four years ago. Deep inside, you were hoping Hoseok would react like his uncle who smiled wide and took you in his arms when he saw you entering his bar. At this moment, you realised that, for four years, you also missed Hobi's uncle loud scent of coffee and tobacco. You missed so many things, actually. Everytime you heard the front door open, you jumped in your seat, heart about to burst out of your chest. But, everytime, there were just some customers and, after a hour, you stopped lifting your head up when the doorbell rang, keeping your head down and looking at the old pictures you still had on your phone. You remembered all of them, the exact moment when they were taken, the sound of your so dear friend's laugh when he checked your funny faces, the feelings you had when you were with him. "You tore your dress, this day." Someone said, pulling you out of your thoughts and making you lift your head up. "I had to stay shirtless because you took my shirt." "Hi, Hobi." You sadly smiled, remembering the funny anecdote and holding back your tears. "Hi Hobi?" He repeated, frowning. "That's all?! No hug?!" Without saying anything, you stood up and wrapped your arms around his middle, burying your face in his chest while he encased you in his arms, putting his chin on the top of your head. "Better." Hobi smiled, holding you tighter when he heard your muffled sobs. "Hey, don't cry, chunsa." "I'm sorry, Hobi, I'm so sorry for what I did." "Everyone need to do some mistakes to learn." Pulling away slowly, you whispered a "Thank you" and, together, sat at your table, catching up the four years you spent away from each other. That was when you realised you really missed a lot of things. Firstly, and the most surprising one to you, Hobi and Joonie became best friends after you dumped both of them. You literally choked on your beer when you heard that. Your sun and your moon, best friends, who would've thought? But it was true and Hobi explained that they were here for each other during good and hard times. Secondly, your sun was dating someone. You choked again but immediately asked who was the luckiest girl on Earth. Her name was Rebecca and she was a foreign student from his High School. You could see your friend's face light up when he was speaking about her and it made you smile. You were so glad to see him happy. Thirdly, Hoseok was close to accomplish his dream of becoming a dance teacher. You remembered all the times you saw him dance in front of you, flashing spectacular and so beautiful moves while you were looking at him, fascinated. You also learnt a couple of other things when he looked at you, planting his chin in his right hand. "That's pretty much it for now. What about you? Tell me all the stupids things I missed." "Oh, it'll take time." You chuckled, feeling the shame burning your cheeks. "Where to start? Hm, I got a tattoo in my lower back." "Please, tell me it's not a tribal one or a butterfly." Hobi mocked you, taking a sip of his beer. "No, a dolphin." You answered, laughing when he choked on his drink. "I'm kidding, it's a lotus flower with thorns. Better?" He nodded, visibly relieved. "What else? Oh, I know the Police station by heart, now." "Yes, Namjoon told me. Such a naughty girl." "Talking about him, do you know how he could guess? He showed up everytime I was in trouble." Letting an amused sigh parting his lips, Hobi smirked and leaned back against the red seat, his arms crossed on his chest. Of course, he knew and he found it a bit funny you didn't figure out. Namjoon followed you. Opening your eyes wide, not believing what you just heard, you shook your hands in front of you, saying it wasn't even possible. You were smart and noticed all the little details so you would see him if Namjoon followed you. Another chuckle from Hoseok. To him, you didn't change, you still were the innocent girl he knew for so long and who didn't understand anything when it came to herself. "He wasn't the one who followed you." Your sun started to explain. "He was, and still is, really busy with his studies and work so he hired someone. Every week, it was a new guy so you couldn't figure out your were followed. Such a smart Joonie." He smirked, taking another sip. "He never gave up on you, Y/n." He added, noticing the shocked expression across your face. "Even when his parents cancelled your marriage, he still loved you. Even when his parents forced him to date some rich girls that he dumped every time after a week. Even when his father threatened to disinherit him if he didn't marry someone after getting his degree. He never gave up on you." Your heart was hammering in your chest and before you could realise, tears rolled from your eyes, quickly wiped away by Hobi who softly smiled at you. Namjoon never gave up on you, he still loved you after all what happened, after all what you said and did. It sounded unbelievable but yet it was true. Unbelievable but true. Silently, your sun sat next to you, took your phone to add his number and sent you a message, only saying you would find Namjoon at this address. Eye wide open, you looked at your dear friend and wrapped your arms around his neck, thanking him for being the amazing man he was. Hoseok gave you back your hug and, pulling away, cupped your face in his hands, telling you to go find your moon.

"Joonie! Your mother wants to know if we can visit her tomorrow!" You shouted from the living room, your hand on the speaker of the phone. "Which one?" He replied from the bathroom. "Does it matter?" "Yes, I want to eat noddles!" "Perfect, she's that one!" "We can!" Chuckling, you put the phone back against your ear and let Namjoon's biological mother know that you both would see her on the day after before you bid her goodnight and hung up, looking forward to see her again. Honestly, your life felt like a dream since a month ago, since you got married to Namjoon and moved in with him. Even if it was a long hard road, you finally put your life together and lived the life you wanted. For more than a year, you had to prove to Joonie's parents you deserved their son so you resumed all your old lessons, fixed all the mess you did during four years, apologised to all the people you hurt or disrespected (Hi, Mr Cop!) and showed the best part of yourself. During this "test year", you weren't allowed to date Namjoon and you could see him only two times a month. And not alone. It was hard, really hard, but, luckily, you had Hobi to help you. Hobi and someone else, someone you met during these hard times, someone you liked at first sight, someone who always cheered you up. Namjoon's biological mother. This woman was the sweetest person on Earth and when you looked at her, you could see why Joonie was so handsome. Honestly, his mom could be a model but, like she told you once, she never was interested by the glamorous life. She didn't want to be rich and lived with just what she needed. She was so humble and her strength helped you to get through this hard year. And you made it! After exactly 400 days, you were allowed to get married to Namjoon. It wasn't a big celebration, both of you didn't want an expensive ceremony, and you only invited some members of your families and friends. The man who would become your husband chose Hoseok and two others friends, Yoongi and Seokjin, as best men and, surprising everyone, you chose your mom and Namjoon's both mothers as you maids. You let some tears roll onto your cheeks when Joonie said his vows, tears that he softly wiped away with his thumbs, and felt like your heart was about to burst out of your chest when you finally said "Yes". "At least, your parents' deal worked out." Your sun whispered in your ear when everyone was talking to each other during the post-marriage party. "Oh gosh, it was a trap!" You said, faking a shocked face before smirking at him. "Guess what, Hobi. I'm glad it did." You chuckled together when Namjoon joined you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and teased Hoseok by trying to take you away. Shrugging, your best friend replied that he was stronger than him and, winking at you, added you both still had your secret base. The three of you laughed together and enjoyed the rest of the party with your friends and families. So yes, your life was a dream the past month and you couldn't ask for more because you already had everything you wanted. Well, almost everything... But you were determined to get the last "thing" this night and nothing on Earth could stop you. Looking at the city through the window of your apartment, you saw the bathroom door open in the reflection of the glass but said nothing when you noticed Namjoon, who was wearing only his black pj pants, coming towards you. Kissing and putting his chin on your shoulder, your husband wrapped his arms around your waist and held you close to him, asking what you were thinking about. "Are you going to sleep in the guest room again, tonight?" You replied, sliding your hands on his and tilting your head against his. "I thought it would be better if-" "Better?" You cut him off, chuckling. "Namjoon, you're my husband now and I want us to sleep in the same bed. I want to sleep in your arms." You whispered the last phrase looking at him in the reflection of the window. "Are you sure?" He softly asked, leaving other kisses in your neck and also looking straight at you in the reflection. "Take off my robe." Teeth clenched and swallowing discreetly, Namjoon grabbed the belt of your long silk pearly robe and lifted his hands up to your shoulders before sliding them all along your arms, letting the cloth silently fall on the floor. You couldn't help but shiver at his touch, at the way his was running his fingers on your skin before grabbing your hips and pulling you against him. Saying he loved the black and red lingerie you were wearing would be an understatement, it made him go crazy and it was easy to guess because of the growing bulge you could feel through his pj pants. "So, that's what was in your mind?" Your husband murmured against your shoulder, kissing it softly. "Well, since I've been bad girl for four years-" "You deserve to be punished." He cut you off, raising his eyes and staring straight at your face through the reflection of the window. "But you've been a very, very bad girl." "Joonie, plea-" He didn't give you the time to plead, turning you to him and pushing you against the window, his lips furiously sealed on yours while his hands grabbed your cheeks. Immediately, you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer to you, your fingers tightly gripped through his hair. A loud moan escape from your throat and you bite your lower lip when Namjoon started to kiss your jawline then your neck before sinking his teeth in your skin like a thirsty vampire. "Joonie... I need more..." You begged him, desperately trying to rub your hips against his. "It's Mr Kim for you tonight." He growled in your ear. "But don't worry, you'll get what you deserve." He then tightened his embrace around you and carried you into your room, unclasping your bra and throwing it in the hallway. A smirk stretched the corner of your lips when, putting you on the bed, Namjoon told you, or rather, ordered you, to get on all fours. Still smirking, and knowing you would finally get what you were craving for, you slowly crawled onto the bed and sensuously pressed your chest against the mattress, lifting your ass up and giving your husband a beautiful and so exciting sight. A shiver went through your whole body when he grabbed your cheeks and squeezed them before abruptly pulling your ass against his pelvis. You couldn't help but whine and bite the pillow when Namjoon slid a hand under your underwear and started to rub two fingers between your folds. "I've just started and you already that wet." He smirked, slowly shoving his fingers inside your core and pulling them out, holding a chuckle as he saw you shake your butt, your head sunk in the pillow. "Such a needy girl." "Joo-" "Mr Kim, I said!" He angrily cut you off, smacking your right cheek and making you scream in the pillow. Leaning over you, his slid his other hand around your neck and lifted you up a little. "Did I tell you to stay quiet?" He then growled in your ear, putting you back against the mattress. "Let me hear you scream, Mrs Kim." Second smack, first scream. "Better." He grinned, giving you another spank and earning another scream before inserting his fingers back on you. "So wet." "Please, Mr Kim." You begged again, gripping the sheets. "Please." Licking his lips at the pleasure it gave him to see you like that, he started to move his fingers in and out of you, fastening the pace slowly as you moaned louder and louder. Never in his life, Namjoon would have imagined you being so needy for him, craving for his touch and, he couldn't deny he was pretty proud of himself. He finally got the girl of his dreams, he even had married her and now, she made him understand she wanted to be his. Totally his. Feeling the overwhelming desire getting stronger in him, and in his pants, Namjoon pulled out his fingers one more time and raised them to his mouth to suck them. "Delicious." He breathed heavily before suddenly pushing you on your side and making you roll on your back. "Don't you dare not look at me." He advised you, sliding your underwear along your legs and throwing it away. Grinning like a demon, he stuck his head between your thighs and locked his lips to your core, making you close your eyes as you throw your head back. "I said look at me." He growled once again, biting your inner thigh. "Or I stop." "Oh God, no!" You implored, looking immediately straight at him and meeting his eyes. They were so full of hunger that you almost came. "Don't you dare cum before I tell you to." Namjoon smirked like he could read your mind before eating you out again, his eyes attached to yours. You didn't know if it was because of the way Namjoon pulled his tongue in and out of you or the way he was looking at you, probably both, but you felt dozens of electric shocks through your body and trying not to throw your head back again was the hardest thing on Earth. You were so close from your high and Namjoon felt it by the way your walls were clenching around his tongue. Sure you would reach your high in less than a minute, he ran a hand all along your bust and grabbed your left breast while he pushed two fingers back into your core, sucking you out. By a slight movement of his head, he made you understand you were finally allowed to cum. "Fuck!" You gasped, gripping the sheets harder and tossing your head back, arching on the bed. Another wave of electric shocks washed over your whole body and you couldn't help yourself but scream your husband's name as you reached your climax. His eyes still on you, not wanting to miss any of your expressions, Namjoon swallowed every drop of what tasted like sweet honey in his mouth and, after wiping his lips, crawled over you when he felt your body ease slowly. Even if you were out of breath, the proud smirk you saw on your husband's lips made you chuckle a little and you were about to say you didn't really expect that but he shut your mouth with his, making you open your eyes wide in surprise. "Did you really think it was already over?" Namjoon grinned against your lips, undressing himself before grabbing your ass and pulling you against his member. He then wrapped an arm around your waist and lifted you up, setting both of you in a sitting position, his eyes contemplating your face while your arms were coiled around his neck. "So beautiful." Namjoon murmured, moving softly strands of your hair from your face and kissing you tenderly. "I love you, Joo... Mr Kim." You slightly chuckled, breaking the kiss and looking straight in his eyes. A sweet smile stretched Namjoon's lips but disappeared almost immediately when, after lifting your ass and lowering one of your hands, you grabbed his shaft and pumped it few times. Tightening his hold around your waist, he sunk his face in your neck and bite your collar bone when you slowly started to go down around him. You couldn't help yourself but smirk when you heard some moans escape from his throat, letting you know you were doing it the right way. "Don't you dare not look at me." You teased him, running your fingers in his hair and pulling strongly on it, lifting his head up before kissing him aggressively. Pretty proud of you because the nasty girl you were thought she was in control, you smirked again against his lips but you were so far from the truth. Namjoon wouldn't give you that pleasure and grinned when you screamed his name after he lifted you up a little before smashing you back down on him. Looking back at him with eyes wide open, you bit your bottom lip and let him decide on the pace, without noticing the tears that started to roll down along your cheeks. Softly, Namjoon wiped your tears away and asked you if it hurt you and if you wanted to stop but you shook your head, whispering you were okay as you leaned over him and kissed him again. Of course, it was hurting but it was the kind of pain you wanted to feel for so long that nothing on Earth could stop you, could stop the hunger that was consuming you. Even less the fast and rough pace Namjoon settled after a few seconds before he hit your sensitive spot and made you whine louder and louder. "Fuck! I'm so close!" Namjoon growled, his eyes straight on yours while he was feeling your walls clench around him. "I'm so... so... Oh fuck!" He cursed, thrusting harder inside your core before coming inside of you as you reached your high in the second after, kissing him again as it was a matter of life or death. You weakly moaned as he pistoned in and out of you a few more times before lying you down on the bed and pulling away softly, making sure not to hurt you. Eyes closed and hands on your chest, feeling like your heart would burst through your rib cage, you heard your husband leaving the bed then the room without saying anything and coming back few minutes later. The contact of a warm but wet towel against your painful core made you gasp but you almost immediately sighed in pleasure, feeling Namjoon cleaning you up softly and kissing your left thigh. Tossing the towel away, Namjoon put a slight kiss right above your sensitive area then on your stomach, going up slowly before capturing your lips in the sweetest way and returning to your belly to put his head on it. Gently, you ran your fingers through your husbands hair and smiled when you felt him sigh in pleasure, his breath caressing your skin while his hands were drawing smooth circles on your hips. "Are you pleased, Mrs Kim?" He asked, lifting his head up and looking at you, smirking slightly. "More than I could imagine." You answered, softly grabbing his head and bringing his lips back to yours. Namjoon pulled away slowly, kissed your forehead and lied down next to you, making you roll on your side, an arm slid under your head while the other was around your waist, drawing little circles around your bellybutton. Softly sliding your hand on his, you let a smile stretch your lips when you felt him nuzzle his nose in your neck, holding your closer to him. "I love your tattoo, by the way." Namjoon smirked, leaving a sweet kiss behind your ear. A shiver went down your spine when his breath ran on your skin and you knew your husband was doing this on purpose. He wanted to play and, fortunately for him, you loved this game. And you were ready to play for the whole night. After all, you had so many years to catch up...

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