#the messages alongside them are always “haha us”

[e-vay]

Your Music Suggestions

I received a lot of messages in my inbox for music recommendations or song-related asks and instead of commenting on them one-by-one I figured I'd lump them together! Enjoy and thanks for sharing!

Anon asked: Have you listened to "Waiting For The Night" by Armin Van Buuren? If not you have to it's so good🤭 I go right to sleep when I listen to it😴

E: I had never heard of that before. That was super pretty! It's interesting that it makes you sleepy, whereas I think it's a song you'd hear at a club to get you pumped. Either way, thank you for sharing!

Anon asked: So I don’t know if you heard of Epic the musical. But there is a song called “Would you fall in love with me again?” And I can picture Shadow and Aurora in the context of the song. Especially if shadow had just finished dealing with the Black Arms for good and isn’t sure if he would ever be himself. If you haven’t heard the musical, I highly recommend it

E: YES I know Epic and I love it! (and I'm regularly going "🎶𝔭𝔢𝓝𝓔𝓵𝔬𝔭𝓮𝓔𝓔𝓔🎶" because of it haha). That song makes me cry! And now I'm crying even more that you put it in the context of Shadora 😭 Yes I think that's a perfect fit, especially because no matter what, Shadow will always be Shadow! AH! Thank you for sharing that with me!

Anon said: Hey Evay! Give a listen to Stupid Heart by Sorana! This song reminds me so much of an Amy pov, in the beginning before she eventually does end up with Sonic 😊 This artist is actually Romanian, which is what language the original song is in! The lyrics used translated in English is: “You want to leave but won’t take me with you, won’t take me with you, won’t take me with you | Your face and the love in the linden tree reminds me of your eyes” The original song is hard to translate apparently but it’s about love at first sight :) I thought that was pretty cool lore added to an internet classic haha (I’m assuming you must know of the numa numa guy, considering you’ve been on the internet for a long time like me!)

E: I could totally see what you mean by saying this song makes you think of Amy. That was really catchy! And it played on my nostalgia for sure, because yes I am very familiar with the original "Dragostea Din Tei" song haha. Thank you so much for sharing!

Anon said: you’ve probably been sent this a thousand times but I need to know that you know about this (also I love your art 🥹❤️)

E: "My Favorite Thing" IS my favorite thing! The first time I heard it I had to pinch myself because I was like "Is this real or am I dreaming right now?!" I know it's not canon and that Jun'ichi Kanamaru and Taeko Kawada only sang it for fun, but oh my god it fills my heart so much. And it's canon to ME! Also thank you so much, I'm so happy you like my art!

mariahdoby13 asked: What if Aurora listens to die with a smile by Lady Gaga featuring Bruno Mars what was her reaction while listening to the song?

E: That was beautiful! That's definitely one of those songs she'd be listening to on repeat and just crying her eyes out haha

lucidheart3 said: Recently I stumbled upon the song Yours by Post Malone and it reminded me of Shadow and Sonic’s dynamic and wanted to share it with you alongside my thanks!

E: Oh my GOD 😭 These father-talking-about-his-daughter-getting-married songs are KILLING ME! I do think this song is especially fitting, since even though the song is emotional, it's actually kind of threatening haha. VERY on brand for my depiction of Overprotective!Sonic. Thank you so much for sharing, it made me cry!

theaussieblue said: I was reading your comics when this came on, and for some strange reason all I could think of was Shadow's endless journey through space for the woman who had taken his heart.

E: Whoa. I'm really honored that this song made you think of them and I can totally see it too! There's such a haunting sadness to the music that really resonates with that portion of my AU's story. I know I always kind of answer asks with a blunt "Shadow's been in space for most of my AU" but without having written the story into a proper fic yet, I don't think I've done a great job of emphasizing how sad that is meant to be. In trying to find the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he ends up spending decades on his own in the loneliest place imaginable: outer space! I'm thankful that you were able to feel what I was going for, even if it was with the aid of music. Thank you for sharing, I added it to my Shadora playlist.

Anon said: Have you ever heard the song Not Now by Blink 182? Man, ok idk if this is going to make sense so try to stay with me haha but I was listening to it the other day and the lyrics remind me soooo much of like, a scenario of what Sonic’s inner struggle might be trying to control Dark Sonic & it’s (the lyrics) directed towards Amy. Please tell me you understand and see the visionnnnn!! Lmao I have no one to share this with and I’m going feral over it 😂 (I looove me some dark sonic sonamy struggles )

E: First of all, you had me at Blink 182 lol. You're speaking directly to my alt/punk rock heart! Secondly, I LOVE that little music video you have in your head and I can totally see it! Ahh don't you just love how our brains are able to make up these cinematic pieces to songs?! I hope you have the encouragement you need to write this into a fic or make it into a drawing some day because I'd love to see it! I, too, love the drama of either Sonic or Amy succumbing to the darkness and it's the other that is their lifeline to returning to the light. 😩🤌❤️ Thanks for sharing your vision with me!

inkheartart said: Hi, just curious if you're still taking suggestions for your Sonamy Playlist because I have few. If that's all right. Stand by you - Rachell Platten | I really like you - Carly Rae Jepson | Wildfire - Smash Into Pieces | Love me like you do - Ellie Goulding | Sledgehammer - Fifth Harmony | Love's just a feeling - Lindsey Stirling

E: So many of your suggestions are on point! Admittedly, "Stand By You" is one of those songs that I repeatedly add and remove to the Sonamy playlist. It is 100% them but the only reason I sometimes take it off is because I end up hearing it too many times haha. Also "Sledgehammer" is seriously Amy's unofficial theme! 😍 Thank you so much for sharing these with me! I even added a few of them to the playlist 😊

blueblur4 said: Sonic sings Golden Hour by JVKE to Amy, saying how she looked in his eyes when he first met her, meaning he's confessing his feelings for her. Than on their 30th wedding anniversary Sonic sings it again for Amy for an anniversary gift. When Sonic finishes Amy says, "I remember you singing me that" or "I haven't heard you sing that sing in forever." Meanwhile Aurora is surprised that her dad can sing.

E: That's such a beautiful idea! I really like the idea of Sonic choosing to sing the same song to her at such a milestone anniversary, because I'm sure Amy might have thought he'd have forgotten something like that. It's so sweet!

saphstories said: NO BUT LISTEN I JUST HAD THE CUTEST/FUNNIEST IDEA FOR SHADORA: Shadow goes over to Aurora's house either to pick her up for a date or just hang out and sneaks up to her window (he just seemed a little bit comfy on the window sill in FPS so me theorizing that's a normal thing) and she's listening to music and singing along (Rory being Rory) but Shadow is /shook/ that she's listening to Crush 40...Specifically I Am All Of Me. He doesn't know whether to laugh or be embarrassed but as always when Aurora sings or something he enjoys the show and she's so swept up in it that she doesn't even realize he's there watching her...until she turns around and his sudden appearance scares the bejeepers out of her. Now Shadow starts laughing and Rory's like "Oh yeah?" And to get him back starts BLASTING AT FULL VOLUME: "All Hail Shadow." Singing and dancing so exaggeratedly that Shadow gets embarrassed but goes in to have fun with her (whatever that looks like, dancing and singing or even some air guitaring?)...and then they both get busted because "AURORA TURN THAT DOWN!"

E: LISTEN. If the themes from the games exist in Sonic's world for real, the second Aurora discovered "All Hail Shadow" not only would that song would be blasting NONSTOP because internally she's like "Hell yeah that's my beau" but she would ABSO-LUTELY tease Shadow about it. I just adore this scenario you've described! You totally get the fun energy that I try to build between the two (in addition to the more sappier, romantic stuff). This made me smile!

Anon said: I have a recommended song from a YouTuber that I sometimes watch,it’s called puzzle park,you might like it.

E: I have no idea what this is but I tell you what, that was an absolute blast. I like villain songs and this was giving serious 'villainous vibes' so that was fun!

heroofchaos asked: Have you ever heard a country song called "The Painter"? its by Cody Johnson and I ask because about 3-4 weeks after it hit the radios I suddenly heard Shadow and Aurora in the lyrics.

E: Aw! I had never heard this song before you told me about it. I agree, I think it fits them very well! Aurora is very much an optimist and so she has a very different way of seeing the world than Shadow originally did. Thank you for sending that to me!

pellet-the-cat said: I cannot get this out of my head! Since you headcanon Jeremy Jordan as Rory's Voice, how cool would it be to have Gender Swapped Boon be voiced by Erika Henningsen?🤩

E: This message was not exactly related to a song but I wanted to include it because now it's completely changed how I think about "More Than Anything" (For the better!) 😭 Now when I listen to it, I'm picturing Rory and Boon singing it together (even if it doesn't fit their story, their voices sound so dang good together!). This was such a cool idea, thanks for sharing!

[goldfades]

Manager does get sent 100’s of tiktok’s from the team that she just doesn’t open

bro yes and it gets on everyones nerves cus like... the fuck??? ur on ur phone 24/7????? and u can't watch the videos i send???

kk sends the most FOR SURE, every day its like 50+ more

[ominous-faechild]

Hello, @ominous-feychild ! 👋✨

From the QnA tag, my eyes immediately went to Tazin the theatre kid (can relate). Can you tell me a little more about this character?

Haha, it doesn't shouldn't surprise me that you'd be interested in Tazin "the theater kid" {REDACTED}, Golden! Sorry for taking a while to get to this ask, I've been busy!

(Aka I've been stubborn about trying to get to these in order, but was stuck on Ludmila's part of another ask...)

Before I begin, I figured I should clarify: Tazin's name is pronounced "tah-zeen"! I've received some questions on this in the past and I know it's unconventional, so.

Tazin {REDACTED} | aka "Svarog"

So, to begin with! Unlike most characters, Tazin's last name will never be given within these posts, haha. Not only does he purposely hide it/his family, but it's actually spoilers! His family's name appears within the story, and I definitely don't want to expose him early, haha.

The reason I call him "Tazin the theater kid" is because, predictably, he's an absolute theater kid. I mean, he's never been able to do participate in theater stuff because Glavnran (but especially Kavo, the town he grows up in) is way too poor and stuck in survival mode to be able to afford stuff like that. But, still! Just one glimpse at this kid and you'd see it.

I'll give you a few glimpses of an as-of-the-moment (and will be for a while) unpublished chapter narrated by him as a treat, haha.

It wasn’t normal for someone to be in the alley, of course. The only “decent” people to ever go there would be the pasidnyy—taking a shortcut in pursuit of a villain—or a person chasing something stolen by the wind. Why would you go through an alley when it put you at risk of running into a bolyui or some punk looking for trouble? Well, Tazin was that punk. And bolyui weren’t real. They were just a scary story told to children to make them behave for adults.

(Note: bolyui are very real. The first and second chapters prove that much, and that they are utterly terrifying. He's just an arrogant kid who thinks he knows everything. /lh)

But some of {the "everyday people" on the streets} might’ve been pretenders, like him. Some of them might be out there with ominous motives—might even be working with the khonitva. Them, or the uzhar. Like him. Except, he didn’t work with the uzhar anymore. He’d seen to that.

(This kid KILLS me, istg--)

This strategy never went wrong. Nope, nuh-uh.

A genius plan, of course. He’d come up with it, after all.

Worst case scenario, if he couldn’t lose his pursuers, he could just set another building on fire. That always distracted people. A kid goes in a building, then the building burns down. Nobody ever suspected that the kid made it out—much less that the fire was meant to cover his escape.

(If that seems unrealistic, it's because it is. The cops absolutely suspect the kid survived, especially since he's pulled that exact same stunt a few times. He just thinks he's getting away with it because he hasn't noticed anything and they're too busy putting out the fires/saving others to find him in or escaping from the site.)

But Tazin’s mind wasn’t on any of his strategies. Instead, he was thinking of the letter he’d left. ‘I left the uzhar,’ it’d begun. ‘I don’t care if you want me to stay with them, I QUIT!’ Tazin had written, aggressively underlining the word “quit.” When he’d left the uzhar, he’d destroyed one of their hideouts. The recipient probably didn’t know that, but Tazin was sure that the uzhar had figured it out. That, and the message he was trying to send by doing so. Fire was Tazin’s whole ‘thing’, after all. ‘They were horrible, just like YOU, and I hate both of you!’ he’d written, once again aggressively underlining the word “you” on top of using all caps. ‘So I’m not going back,’ Tazin had written. Little did the recipient know that Tazin wouldn’t be able to go back even if he wanted to. He’d burned that bridge—almost literally—alongside their hideout. That’s why he’d done it, after all. ‘And don’t expect me to come back to you, either,” Tazin had initially finished the letter with. ‘You’re no better than them.’ But then he’d crossed the two sentences out, running the charcoal over them so it’d be impossible for the recipient to read it. As much as he wanted to hurt the recipient of his letter, he also hated the thought of it. And calling them “no better than the uzhar” would be too far. If Tazin had told them that, they might’ve finally given up on Tazin completely. Left him alone. And, as much as Tazin tried telling himself otherwise, he didn’t want to be abandoned. Not again. So, instead of that, Tazin had replaced those lines with: ‘and tell Mom I’m NOT coming back and to STOP looking for me!!!’

THIS IS ALL FROM HIS INTRO CHAPTER BTW-- 🤣

That last "bit" (read: everything about the letter) is spaced out between paragraphs of action. He's thinking about it while doing other stuff. I think it's a great intro chapter in general that pretty solidly explains his character and a lot of his business, haha.

Then again, maybe I'm just flattering myself.

ANNNNYHOW! As you can probably tell, he's an absolute drama queen with horrible attachment issues. A little under a year before the start of the story, Tazin was kicked out of his home. His family later changed their minds and tried inviting him back, but he's stubbornly refused to return, leading to him being in the position he is at the start of the Arcane Rifts.

I don't know if it's clear from the snippet (overall it's not the biggest deal but I want to clarify), but the "recipient of the letter" isn't his dad, but someone who is/was closely associated with his family.

Overall, Tazin's genuinely a fun character to write (most of the time)! He's very overdramatic; his narration is condescending toward the reader, as though he's talking to them, because he sees his own life as a story where he's the tragic hero; and whether it's ironically or played straight, lots of people seem to find him pretty funny.

Which, hey, he'd love to hear that!

(Minus the ironically part... actually tbh young!Tazin would probably lash out at you if you told him you thought he was funny. Y'know, thinking you thought he needed the validation. Whoops.)

Like Gene, Tazin starts the story young. He's only nine at first (if you couldn't tell,,,) but progresses to fifteen by the end of book 1 (there's a lot of timeskips through Important Events as the kids age up. Trust me, I'm careful with the pacing though, haha).

But, uh... that definitely colors my perception of his character a little differently than I'm sure you guys will see him. For a long while, you'll only see him as a kid, where his more negative traits (arrogance, selfishness, refusal to admit if/when he's wrong, etc) are a lot more excusable and possibly even charming. But in my head, all I see is how that stuff carries over to Adult!Tazin (because he never gets better), and I like him a lot less because of that, haha.

On a similar note, feel free to check out the songs that represent him.

A little more relevantly! If it wasn't obvious enough already (or if you haven't stumbled upon me mentioning it before), Tazin is a fire mage and healer! Otherwise known as a sech and izsech respectively in their language. Both powers typically come from their fire god (which, out-of-universe, takes a lot of inspiration from Hestia), Rholvny.

Like most mages, Tazin has an affinity for his element... which has turned more into an obsession for him if you couldn't tell. I've mentioned before that his (actual, lowkey) obsession with arson is related to a traumatic incident in his past?

Tazin is a complicated character. As much as I (hate to hate and hate to) love him, his character arcs revolve around his family / abandonment issues; the many, many problems it caused him (he used to just be a brat, but now...); and his relationship with Gene.

The two--Gene and Tazin--grow up together supporting one another because nobody else will do so for them. Tazin faces discrimination for his arson his skin tone, being Jhandan (or Fantasy!Indian) in a xenophobic country, aaaand for his deeply problematic aggression issues. Gene, on the other hand, is disabled and autistic--and you betcha Glavnran is ableist and social darwinists, too!

On Tazin's end, their relationship is/was problematic for a few reasons. One, Gene is too timid to stand up to him, leading to Tazin's worse habits never getting corrected since he can get away with them. Two, Gene becomes an enabler for Tazin's worse traits because of their history together. Aaaand, three... while Gene sees Tazin as like a brother, Tazin develops romantic feelings for him by the end of the first book.

Yeah. There's just NO end to the problems there--

But I guess those are just some of the many tragedies associated with two kids raising themselves and each other! (Despite that, they're still cute to read the interactions of whenever Tazin isn't being toxic.)

And, of course, this is all stuff I tackle (even if only through implication) within the story!

I'm sure this all is only one of the many reasons tAR won't be the most popular of my stories. 😅😭

Sorry I got a good bit into Gene there! I don't know if you can tell, but the two are practically inseparable, and their dynamic with one another majorly shapes how they turn out! (For probably obvious reasons.)

Hope you enjoyed reading! I actually cut out a LOT of possible snippets for the sake of (nonexistent) brevity, haha. Feel free to reblog and/or tell me what you think! PS: I think I'm probably going to change Tazin's title to "the dramatic". Thoughts?

Tag list: @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa

Divider by @cafekitsune

[maybe-not-a-robot]

Media Log 2024 Entry 3 - De Blob - 4/5

I remember very few things about this game from when I was a kid. the overtly anti-imperialist message was not one of them.

To preface this, I will tell a little story about myself: De Blob, the original game on the Wii, was a game I had and loved as a kid. Though, I had a strange relationship with it: I never played past the first level even once. Every time I booted up the game, all I did was play the first level. If I'm remembering correctly, it was because I was afraid of the enemies that appeared for the first time in the second level. My, how I've grown!

Anyway, this game is pretty damn good! To start with the positives, the gameplay loop of painting buildings and doing missions in ambitiously large levels is very enjoyable (and it ties into a scoring system so I'm obligated to like it at least a little bit). This gameplay loop is made much more enjoyable by what I consider the game's highlight feature: the entire in-game OST is adaptive! As you paint the levels, the music goes from a very simple percussion line to a full-track alongside other changes like the sky going from gray to blue and the ground getting more colorful. On top of that, it's just a really good OST all around, which is always a plus.

The game also oozes (like paint. Haha.) charm and style, which becomes readily apparent as you paint buildings from blank grays to vivid colors and patterns. The entire game is about revolution against an oppressive government and its graffiti-inspired style works well to sell that! The character designs are also very charming and use shape language well to convey their vibes.

Speaking of the revolution against an oppressive government - the weird thing about this game is that it's very overtly leftist. It's not like it's winning awards for discussing theory like Disco Elysium, but it goes farther than I'd expect a Wii game published by THQ to go. Besides this, the story isn't anything to write home about, but it's funny when it wants to be and weirdly fucked up when it wants to be. Ink is rarefied liquid misery, by the way.

Anyway, onto the negatives - mostly, the controls. While the movement feels good in open spaces, precision platforming is a major struggling point. The slippery controls make moving across smaller platforms or making tight jumps a chore, and wall jumps are even worse - you either stick to every wall you brush against or you don't stick to walls at all.

The other negative is the enemy design - honestly, mostly just the Elite Inkies. Having to go out of your way to find the right color to deal with them is a fine gimmick... until the game starts really overusing them. Then it gets really annoying really fast. The combat in general is fairly weak, really - I feel like combat doesn't suit the gameplay the best, and that focusing more on hazards would have been the best, as satisfying as slamming Inkies into little black stains is.

Overall, De Blob is a very charming and unique game (with a great port to PC from the Wii!) held back by some major flaws, but nothing so bad as to sour the experience. I'd recommend giving it a shot if you get the chance!

Also, like the Portal series, it's apparently a game that started out as a school project. Funny how that keeps happening.

[armynoonas]

Joon in Weverse

🐨 It has been a while. We recently celebrated our 11th anniversary, but I couldn't even leave a short message due to being so busy. Ha ha ha. A month ago, "Come Back to Me" was released, and three weeks ago, "RPWP" came out. I had planned to enlist with Hoseok last April, but I kept delaying it. Finally, I enlisted* alongside my younger members. It feels like I spent the entire year of 2023 only working and drinking. I envy my friend who now has the rank of Sergeant, but I have no regrets. (Haha) This has been my first job where I couldn’t share my thoughts directly with you. I have a lot to say, but it's all written in the album... It's an album where I struggled to be completely honest with myself. I hope you'll keep it close and read it for a long time. I request earnestly Three days ago, Jin hyung was finally discharged. I brought a saxophone for fun and played it, but I was really overwhelmed with mixed emotions. I wondered if he felt lonely and struggled, being the first to go. How did he feel? Eighteen months is fair to everyone here. We're living through what Jin hyung experienced in the past. Coming out after a long time, I realize that time flows differently outside. Gravity even feels different... Everyone is living well without me, and everything is moving along fine. Although I feel a bit empty, I was so happy that we, the members, could gather and have a heartfelt conversation over a drink for the first time in almost ten months (though more than half of the conversation was about military life... LOL). No wonder I’ve missed these people so much. I’ve even called them occasionally just to ask how they are doing out of the blue. Jin hyung always used to say he missed the members a lot and that we would feel the same. Living somewhere in Gangwon-do, far apart from each other, I deeply understand that now. Seeing their faces and talking to them made me realize that some things never change, where I belong, and who I am. It’s been a precious and meaningful time for all of us. Where might we be wandering next? What faces will we have at our 12th anniversary next year? I miss you all, and because I miss you, I picture you. It's already been eleven years. It will be just another year counting down the days. I entrust the future to Jin hyung and Hobi, who have returned to your embrace. I just realize that many people still haven't forgotten us, are waiting for us, and love us. The outpouring of love. As always, I'll just think of the members and all of you, and live each day well. I love you. Thank you. Until next early summer, Namjoon

Trans. by SaraBangtan07

[240615]

[cosmicjoke]

Hello Levi wiki! (your metas about him are always the best haha)

Can you explain what Levi’s character arc is?

Also, do you find him to be a character that most represents the themes of aot?

Hi there, haha. Thank you for the compliment, though I don't know how well it applies.

Levi's interesting, because he doesn't really, fundamentally change from the beginning of the story to the end. Levi haters will try to point this out as an example of him being a "badly written" character, yet in the same breath, will turn around and say Eren is an incredibly well written character. But, funny enough, Eren doesn't change from the beginning of the story to the end, either. Go figure.

But Levi never really shifts or compromises his core values, which is why I say he doesn't really fundamentally change. His driving motivation has always been to help people, as many people as he can, in whatever ways he can, and he holds true to that motivation throughout the story. His world view doesn't really change, and what he believes in doesn't really change. And because Levi doesn't really have a personal goal, meaning a personal reason for fighting, relating to himself specifically, I think, ultimately, it's him helping others to realize their dreams, or to give them a better world to live in, that completes Levi's story. Particularly of course for the 104th, Levi kind of represents the passing of the torch for them, handing them a better world for them to live in. So it's in honoring the lives of those who have sacrificed theirs for that dream, giving their deaths meaning, and in helping to forge a world where people can be free, that Levi's character arc lies. He goes from struggling for simple survival in the Underground, to finding a way to use his strength to help others, to using his strength to help all of humanity.

And yes, I do think Levi in particular represents many of the core themes in AoT. I've written about this before as well. The theme of human complexity, the theme of life over death, the theme of understanding and empathy and sympathy for others, the theme of human compassion. Levi sort of serves as the first, main example to younger scouts of how they shouldn't simply judge another person's actions without understanding the context of those actions. They eventually come to fight alongside Reiner and Annie and Pieck, etc... Marley warriors whom before they considered their mortal enemies, until they realized they were all fighting for similar, ideological reasons. But Levi showed them the error of uninformed and quick judgement before that, even, during the Uprising Arc, when they were fast to condemn him for killing people, only to realize shortly thereafter that it isn't so easy, to hold to an idealistic and unrealistic code of conduct in the midst of a war. Not unless you're willing to let your "values" take precedent over the lives of others. In which case, one has to wonder just how noble those values really are. Are they values held onto out of altruism and goodness of intent, or are they values held onto out of a selfish desire to feel good about oneself? Levi does "bad things" to help other people. He's willing to sacrifice his own sense of self-comfort and the ability to call himself a "good person" (to comes across as a "good person" to others) in order to help others. Ironically, of course, this makes him probably the most good and selfless person of all the characters in the story. Because he's purely driven by selfless intent. He doesn't care if he has to take on the burden of "becoming a monster", either to himself or other people, he doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, if it means others get to live or have better lives. He represents within the story the objective truth that a person can do bad things and still be a fundamentally good person. And that's kind of the whole, underlying message of AoT. That we're all capable of "being monsters", but that doesn't mean we're bad, or evil. Life just throws curve balls at us, and we don't always have the luxury of adhering to a strict moral code in the face of those circumstances.

But Levi, while he engages in acts of violence, still never loses sight of what he actually cares about, and what he values, which is the lives of people. What he values is genuinely altruistic in nature, and it's a fundamental part of his character, the sincere compassion he feels toward, and worth he regards life with. He never loses sight of those things, or compromises those things, or undermines those things, even among all the violence and carnage he's forced to engage in throughout the story. He never gets wrapped up in a grandiose ideology or movement or sense of self-importance or heroism (even as he's the most genuine hero in the story). He just cares about people's lives, protecting people's lives and helping people's dreams come true, and he gives everything of himself toward that end, to the end.

[herald-divine-hell]

Is there a reason why you never write using a general Inquisitor anymore? For a blog dedicated to Inquisitor x Leliana you seem to only write using your OCs only for the longest time. Outside of your character being the Inquisitor, that's just about it. It's not really catered to others who also ship theirs with Leliana. Basically from what people see now in your blog now is your OCs x Leliana. Most blogs who write shipping prompts don't use specific characters and they're more catered towards the audience by using either GN!/M!/F!Reader x Character. Making it easier for others to imagine their own OCs in place, by filling in the blanks themselves and bam its their OC in place. In your case you just describe and talk about your OC like its a full fanfic dedicated to them. This is just what I see in your tags for the past year or so, but you used to write it long ago. I dunno how you react to feedback but I'm just curious as to why you stopped. It's usually easier to write about general reader since there's less details involved. Tbh, you're more likely to get engagements on your stuff if its catered to the general audience rather than an OC from my experience ^_^

Hello! Thank you for the kind message!

Honestly, perhaps the biggest reason why I mostly stop writing plain Inquisitor/Leliana content is because well—without an oc, what character can you grapple with for Leliana to have interaction? BioWare gave us three standard results whenever the Inquisitor speaks—diplomatic, snarky/sarcastic, and hostile/aggressive—so which one should I choose when writing it, since so other character’s ocs are based on different factors? Not all of them are going to be sarcastic, or diplomatic. Sometimes they’ll be in-between. So, in my view, you already need to have an establish character that won’t fit into a “general” and vague Inquisitor, even if they’re the most bare bones version of a character.

And to be honest, I always have used my characters, even when it was just a “general” Inquisitor/Leliana. Most of the stuff that I wrote early on was actually just nameless Alexandra, without any real descriptive features, so I can’t say it’s just a general Inquisitor, because it really wasn’t. Not to my brain, at least.

And over time, people showed lots of interest in characters like Alexandra that I stripped the veil away and start writing her fully. (Alongside other characters)

And I’m a weirdo who loves description and details, so it’s hard for me not want to describe the Inquisitor physically and have that serve as some metaphor. Haha

I hope that all makes sense. Thank you for the ask!

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hey this is the post notif anon from before - I'm SO sorry that you've been receiving negative stuff in your inbox, I wish I could do something to help other than tell you how much I truly enjoy reading your work (and I can tell by the sheer number of other asks that you get that there are so many others who enjoy what you do as well) and you truly make my day whenever you post!!

Hello again, post notif Anon!! You really are making my night! Thank you so much for the super kind message. You say you wish you could do more to help but honestly, words of support or encouragement do help, a lot more than most people think! So thank you for the help...

Honestly, for those new to the blog, ciaossu-imagines has been around since 2016 and I ran an imagines blog before that for several years. Anon rudeness and hate has always been a thing that came with the territory of writing imagines and these two were relatively small - a complaint about posting so much smut today with some choice words for the admin threatening to report my posts (so if anyone wakes up and I'm not around anymore, we'll all know why, haha!) and another with complaints about not getting to a request alongside a complaint about ruining a character/shitty characterization - so I should genuinely be used to it or able to shrug it off but it's just one of those things I always struggle with, especially since, in all honesty, every fandom I write for is super-duper small, relatively inactive, or completely dead with me being the only content creator I can find on tumblr and it just makes me feel like...like I might be hurting all these precious fandoms instead of making them better. Like instead of fostering inclusive, happy, healthy fandom growth and activity/revitalization and creating safe fandom places where people can gather, that I'm making things worse or somehow...somehow disappointing both the other fans and the works and characters I create for themselves.

Thank you for the reminder that, even though some people can be jackasses, that I have some truly fantastic readers who don't feel that way and who do look forward to reading what I write, even if everything isn't necessarily what they chose or wanted! I needed that gentle kick in the ass of logic and greatly appreciate it!

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hi, Elle. Thank you so much for the reading, I really appreciate it. Another long feedback from me haha 🤍

I think having my own YouTube channel on my own feels like a burden on me because I grew up watching YouTubers and admiring them so I feel a pressure, but like the knight of swords card, I need to rush forward. I need to keep a beginners mindset and be ready to learn, not have high expectations but keep learning about all the different things. I have always had an interest in film and photography since I was younger. Learning about cinematography, learning about b rolls, a rolls, angles, colour grading and perspectives are exciting to me. I am going to look for cinematography classes or guides on YouTube and take notes while practising, again I need to charge forward to this and also be consistent - track my progress. I also have been hesitant uploading for that reason but you’re right, I need to keep learning different things as I go.

I laughed a little when you mentioned background music because I’ve been downloading so many and experimenting to see which matched my video in progress. I’ve been looking at the music my favourite YouTubers use and seeing how those go with my videos and how I can use them in the future, like envisioning what type of my videos they would go well with, The favourite YouTubers are YouTubers that have a similar style to the content I want to create and most importantly, am also capable of producing. Despite putting pressure on myself, I am also being realistic or at least trying my best to.

I especially love how practical it is - consistency is something I struggle with often, so keeping a diary to be consistent with my efforts is a habit I will definitely make. I have a diary that I will use. I also like that you said that one percent is 37 percent in a year. I recently read a book called Atomic Habits which said that and it really inspired me.

In my own readings about my YouTube chnnael, 2 of cups (alongside 3 of cups has also been popping up, so it's nice to see the emphasis on collaboration and having a team or support behind me. I hope I can one day collab with YouTuber friends and also YouTubers that I look up to!!

YouTube is something meaningful to me and I am aiming to create a warm community for people into the things I like and also success, so hearing your practical advice is helping me put things into practice. Sort of bringing me back down to earth.

I hope I correctly understood your message.

Thank you so much for the advice and thank you for the time and energy. Your advice is always really helpful.

Have a good day Elle 🤍

Hi dear,

I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner.

Life is kinda hard on me yeahhh, but I needed enough time and sanity to properly respond to your thorough and heartfelt feedback.

For starters, don't do yourself the disservice of comparing yourself to people who've down it for years. That's unfair for you, my dear~

The creators you see online were beginners before! They didn't start fully equipped and perfect, you know?

Don't expect yourself to be perfect and amazing; you're still figuring out what works for you and what your preferred b-rolls are.

The more you let yourself be paralyzed by perfectionism, the more you'll feel stuck and never want to start. So instead of saying, "oh I'm not good enough because this isn't my masterpiece", try thinking, "Now I know what I can do better next time"~

I actually love how, by the time I got to finishing my response to your feedback, I actually re-blogged a post about free background sounds samples online. Go check them out if you get to see this!

Personally, consistency isn't my current strong suit but I am actively working on it myself. So don't beat yourself up for not being super consistent immediately. Just try to do something for 2 days straight. Once you feel that it's ingrained in you, try adding it to being 3 days straight. As much as possible, try to keep showing up, even if it's little by little~

If you can find someone to mentor you about this, even better~

So what I'm saying is, by the time you're reading this, I hope you don't feel discouraged about not being where you want to be right now in your progress. A lot can happen in just a few days, how much more in weeks and months or years; so if you do want to be consistent with something, be consistency kind to yourself on those when you don't feel your best. The fact that you woke up and got out of bed just to show up for yourself today is more than enough. You have done what most people at their worst couldn't do.

So, as always, stay kind to yourself, take it easy and try again~

[internetgremlin-writes]

HEAR ME OUT, FORMER TEAMMATE!READER X CARLOS AND ITS JUST RRADER BEING SO HAPPY SEEING HIM SMILING ON TOP OF THE PODIUM AND REALIZING SHE'S BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM ALL THIS TIME AND IT'S JUST FLUFF

This is combined with the anon who asked for friends to lovers and @serialkillertbh and @fortunatelylovingsweets who both just asked for fluff in general!

not that anyone asked but to keep things fair, again i am not answering asks in any specific order i made a carlos only wheel to choose haha

in other news THE GIFS ARE HERE and can i also say a big thank u to @someone-worth-racing-for for providing such top quality gifs, i always end up using yours for carlos fics <3

The crowd were so loud as you rounded the bend onto the home straight that you could actually hear them roaring through your helmet.

The chequered flag was waving just ahead of you and you were locked out in a vicious wheel-to-wheel battle with Fernando Alonso for 5th place. Gritting your teeth, using the screams of your home crowd and digging as deep as possible to find any reserves you had left, you threw everything at the car.

"C'mon, Carrot, just gimme a little more," you mumbled into your helmet, giving everything you had to the point where you were just willing the car to give you just another hundredth of a second.

"P5 Y/N! P5!" Your race engineer's voice broke over the radio, rapidly cut off by a scream from you.

"Really!?" The crowd was going wild, so much so that you could barely even hear the radio.

"Yes! Amazing job, fantastic drive!" You were gone again, lost in the euphoria of the moment and celebrating your personal best with yourself. You noticed you were halfway through your cool-down laps and the crowd were still ringing in your ears. "Do I take it Lewis won?"

There was a suspicious pause from your engineer. When he spoke next you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Nope. Carlos P1, Checo P2, Lewis P3, then Charles, You, Fernando and Lando in P7,"

You didn't think the rest of your radio message would be broadcasted. Between the swearing, screaming and whooping you weren't exactly coherent. You could feel your eyes burning as tears of pure joy spilt over your cheeks, which were starting from aching from how much you were grinning and hollering.

You'd never heard such good news. You were a handful of seasons into your career, but starting at Renault hadn't given you a flying start and then in 2021 you moved to McLaren, where you were slowly starting to creep up into the points, but P5 was your best score to date. You were also thrilled for Lando, who was bringing home double points for the team. And then there was Carlos.

You'd joined Renault a year after Carlos, in 2018. He had been your first ever teammate, and to say he'd left a lasting impression would be an understatement. The pair of you gelled immediately and him taking you under his wing and being incredibly protective of his little rookie quickly blossomed into a genuine friendship built on mutual respect. You had virtually the same sense of humour, which led to some PR videos going viral, and the pair of you fast became a fan favourite. So much so that a year later when Carlos announced he was moving to McLaren, alongside another rookie, the fans (and you) were devastated.

It seemed like a sick twist of fate that after only two years, you ended up following him and taking his spot at McLaren alongside Lando when he moved to Ferrari. Even after his move, Carlos always made time for you. He made a point of never being more than a text or phone call away, and he was one of the few people who you felt truly took you seriously in the paddock. You'd spent many a night sat up late with him wherever you were, in some questionable Renault accommodation, with his 0% beer as you shared your darkest secrets and bonded over the desire to win.

Carlos had admitted to you, in utmost privacy, that he was considering retiring if he ended his 8th season without a win, much to your horror. To say you were delighted for him would have been an understatement.

You abandoned your car, got weighed in a blur and sprinted up to the winner's section of Park Ferme. Carlos was still yet to go into the cool-down room - you spotted him being virtually pulled over the barrier by his team as everyone wanted to give him a slap on the back. You waited for a moment, and then when he was starting to clamber down, you ran at him.

It was difficult with your helmets still on, but somehow he spotted you and was quick enough to catch you as you threw yourself at him, his arms wrapping around your waist as he steadied you and you could hear the muffle of his laugh, warm and rich.

"You did it! I knew you could, I always knew it!" You were rambling but you didn't care, you needed your best friend to know how overjoyed you were. He squeezed you tighter before letting you down, pulling his helmet and baklava off so he could talk to you. You noticed as he did his eyes were red, and cheeks a little flush. He couldn't seem to control the beam he was radiating.

"Thank you. And look at you, P5! I'll be fighting you off my trophies soon," You shook your head, trying and failing to flatten down your hair as you did so.

"I literally don't care, I'm just so glad you won. Carlos Sainz: Formula One winner," you mocked an interviewer as you spoke, forcing your accent as posh as you could make it like an old-fashioned BBC commentator. He stood up a little taller, eyes shining as he grinned down at you. There was a swell in your chest and you thought for a moment you could never be happier, not even when it was your turn on the top step.

"Sounds good, no?"

"So good," you confirmed, pulling him into a hug and then accepting that you had to let him go to the cool-down room and have his podium ceremony.

You stood at the front, of course. You didn't think the top step suited anyone more, and even more so, you were thrilled that the crowd seemed to have adopted Carlos as an honourary Brit following his stint at McLaren judging by the noise being made for him. And he looked so good up there, clinging onto his flag and looking over everything with that look that said he was processing everything and not quite believing it was real and it was all for him.

It was during his national anthem that everything changed.

Your entire focus was, of course, trained on Carlos. He looked like he was virtually glowing standing up there. For a second he closed his eyes, shifting his stance and lifting his chin up with a proud little smile and your world changed.

It was like sitting in the optician's chair when they give you that lens to look through that just shifts your entire world into focus. You felt like you were seeing clearly for the first time in five years. Your stomach dropped at the same time as your heart leapt into your throat, beginning to hammer the way it did at the start of a race. Suddenly, everything made sense. How close you'd immediately become at Renault, the way he made you feel secure and listened to. How easy it was to trust him. The way he was the first person you looked for when you arrived at the paddock, even after he left. When he told you he was leaving and it felt like the end of the world. The way every time he found you now you were on different teams, you left the interaction with a spring in your step and renewed confidence.

Holy shit, you were in love with Carlos Sainz.

And you were so dumb it took you staring at him getting everything he ever deserved to realise it. Your chest tightened. This time it was a familiar sensation. That feeling you had huge news, and not a clue of who you could possibly tell, if anyone. That the person you desperately wanted to tell would be entirely unavailable for heaven only knows how long after this. And a faint sense of dread that this had been a very, very stupid epiphany to have because you'd probably never be able to be with him like that and you'd ruined your friendship in one go.

You watched the rest of the ceremony in a strange combination of overwhelmingly happy and subduedly heartbroken.

In a matter of a short few hours, you found yourself pleasantly drunk and stumbling around the after-party. You weren't typically the type to get drunk to drown your sorrows, and initially, you had been drinking happily along with the rest of the drivers in pure celebration. But it was funny what a couple of glasses of Daniel's wine mixed with something you didn't want to think about too much could do, and your happy drunk self faded into a self-pitying, brooding character.

The place was crammed, so at first, you hadn't really noticed yourself withdrawing that much until you were pressed against the cooling glass of the French doors leading out onto one of the smoking balconies. Casting a quick glance over the mingle of people spread out in front of you, including Zak Brown laughing loudly at a joke and Lando huddled in a corner with his gaming friends looking at something on his phone, you assumed you wouldn't be missed.

England isn't known for its warm summers and when you realised you'd left your jacket inside you were grateful that the collection of plush garden furniture was situated underneath the heaters placed along the wall. You sank down into a comfortable armchair, considering the rest of the glass of red wine you were holding with a foggy mind. You fought the urge to send some whiney texts to some close friends from home, but luckily your mind was clear enough to register that was the drink talking and place both your phone and the glass down on the small table in front of you.

You leant back, your head tilted upwards as you basked under the pleasant heat being emitted and allowed yourself to fall into the floating sensation for just a little while.

"Hey - this is where you went?" The familiar rolling accent was enough to get you to open one eye, and you realised that if you dropped your head even further back you could get a look at Carlos from where he was standing by the doors without moving. As an upside-down Spaniard swam into your view he laughed at you with a shake of his head.

"Needed some air," you mumbled, suddenly feeling a lot more sober as he dropped into the seat beside you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" He was giving you that scrutinising look that said there was no way you were getting away with your response.

"Because..." he dragged out the word, smile still tugging at his lips. "You went quiet ages ago and I got worried,"

"Oh," your mind was too slow to come up with a decent excuse. "It's just the wine - a bit strong for me," you admitted, pointing at the unfinished glass in front of you.

"I don't believe that, but okay,"

He turned in his chair, back resting against one of the arms and legs dangling over the other. His hair was still a mess, bits of it flopping into his face as he focused on his phone, typing a message out with exaggerated concentration. Your chest squeezed.

"If I told you something dumb would you promise to forget it in the morning?" The words were out before you could stop them, and judging by the way he was looking at you with those big curious eyes like he didn't want to be anywhere else, well you knew you weren't getting away with it.

"Like... how dumb?" You shrugged, suddenly fascinated in the palms of your hands. If you looked at him again you'd say something really stupid. What you hadn't noticed was that Carlos had slid out of his armchair and was squatting directly in front of you, concerned brown eyes trained on your face. His cheeks were flushed, full lips pink and the corners resting in a permanent smile. He looked so dangerously good in just a jumper and jeans.

"Like... I just realised I'm in love with you and I have no idea what do to about it?"

"Oh,"

"Oh god,"

"No-"

"No - just - shit I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything, I'm wine drunk and feeling sorry for myself, I don't wanna say anything that takes away from you today. You should go back inside, everyone is going to be wondering where you are and...." you trailed off when you moved your hands from where they were covering your face because he was looking at you with something terrifying shining in his eyes.

"You - you're in love with me?"

"Maybe? It hit me when you were on the podium. Fuck, you looked so good up there, Carlos, and I - I don't know it just thew everything into perspective-"

You didn't get to finish your sentence because you were muffled by a warm heart and you realised he was kissing you. Your body responded on autopilot, arms wrapping around his neck as he stood leaning over you. When he pulled back he had the same grin on his face he had when he'd just pulled something clever off in a challenge video and he was waiting to see how you'd respond. Your heart was hammering, body struggling to keep up with mind as you slowly were realising what had just happened. That Carlos Sainz had kissed you.

"I think I've been in love with you for a long, long time. I just assumed you weren't interested because you never replied to my flirting,"

"What flirting?" His eyes widened in shock as he stared at you as though you'd just admitted to something much more shocking.

"I flirted with you every day!"

"No, you didn't!"

"I asked you to dinner with me once a week..."

"I thought you were being a good friend!" Carlos groaned dramatically, dropping his head onto your shin bone and gently bumping it a couple of times to make his point. You liked the way his hair tickled against your skin.

He was nudging at you, pulling you up from your chair and capturing you in a quick kiss, before settling himself in one of the deck chairs looking out across the landscape and pulling you between his legs. You found yourself relaxing against his chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like you cuddled with him every day.

"Don't you have a party to be going back to?" You asked, enjoying the way his chest rumbled and it vibrated through your lungs as he made a noise in response.

"I have to ask someone on a date first," he was nosing soft kisses against your shoulder. They were gentle, lazy almost. They weren't asking for anything, they were just there because he wanted to kiss you, and you weren't stopping him.

You and Carlos watched the sunrise like that. Talking about nothing and everything all at once. Talking about all the things you should have done years ago. It felt so good to have him like that, so right. It was like some final barrier had crumbled between the two of you and he was seeing you exactly as you were. There was no hiding, no pretending, and what thrilled you, even more, was that he liked what he saw there.

You felt yourself snuggling further into his strong arms, relishing in the way he felt so warm and sturdy against you. Your eyes were growing heavy, the relief and the weight of everything finally lifting and being replaced with a warm heaviness creeping up your limbs.

The last thing you remembered before you slipped into a dawn sleep was the feeling of Carlos' lips on the top of your head, and his soothing voice close by your ear.

"I don't know if this day could have gone any more perfect,"

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DARK FATE Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD ”Urgent ★ The Vampires Ran Out of Money”

Original title: 切実に★お金がないヴァンパイアたち

Source: Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Hirakawa Daisuke, Takashi Kondou, Takahiro Sakurai, Kimura Ryouhei, Tatsuhisa Suzuki, Kishio Daisuke, Morikawa Toshiyuki & Morikubo Shoutaro

Translator’s note: This CD felt really nostalgic for some reason because it offers some quality REIJI SUFFERING HOURS. If there’s one thing which has stuck with me from the early era (HDB/MB) drama CDs, it’s that Reiji almost always got the short end of the stick, haha. While it’s no different here, I can’t help but feel like it’s kind of his own fault. For someone who prides himself over being oh-so smart, maybe it wasn’t clever to mention having savings around 11 Vampires who are clearly desperate for that sweet, sweet cash. 

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Shin: Haah…

*Flip*

Shin: Damn…This is looking pretty bad…Haah…Ugh. At this rate, we’ll…

Carla: Shin. …What have you been mumbling about this whole time?

Shin: Ahー Nii-san. You see, we’ve run into some trouble you see…

Carla: Trouble? Is your heart aching because I haven’t been attempting to murder you as of late? 

Shin: No. I’m definitely not complaining about that part…

Carla: Then what is it? Tell me. I might just offer you my advice. 

Shin: Eh? Eeeh…But I feel like you’re not the right person to ask in this case…

Carla: Who do you think I am? 

Shin: Who? I mean…The King of Founders…and my older brother.

Carla: Exactly. It is your duty to report everything to me, without hiding any details. Now, ell me. 

Shin: Hm…Actuallyーー We’ve run out.

Carla: Run out of what? Be more specific.

Shin: Money! We’re all out of money!

Carla: Money? 

Shin: Here, take a look at this bill. It displays all of our spendings for this month. They’re through the roof because you keep on buying things like whole legs of cured ham or weird abstract paintings behind my back!

Carla: No need to get so upset, Shin. I needed all of those things.

Shin: Necessary? I don’t believe that. I’ll give you a pass on the cured ham, but can you truly say the same about that painting which looks like a child went ham with their crayons doodled a bunch of pasta noodles on a blank canvas!? 

Carla: If I deem it necessary, then it is. 

Shin: Ugh…I figured you’d say that, hence why I didn’t want to bring it up. Anyway, we’ll need to come up with a way to make money. 

Carla: Can’t we have the masses donate to us? Have you tried asking Mertz to hand some over?

Shin: I’ve long tried that. I’m not sure if he knows I’m trying to ask for money, but he’s been completely ignoring my messages.

Carla: Then why don’t we make it easy on ourselves and just take it from random people around these parts? 

Shin: But if we choose the criminal path, we won’t be able to move freely around in the human world, will we? …Oh, right! I guess those guys would be an option!

Carla: The Sakamaki and Mukami family? If I recall correctly, Karlheinz has infiltrated this world and has been dabbling in politics alongside his connection with the Church. 

Shin: Yup, exactly. I heard he’s pretty stacked. …Heh. It shouldn’t be an issue then. It’s settled then. Let’s have those guys provide us with money. 

Shin gets up. 

Shin: Time is money! I’ll go give them a visit right away. 

Carla: I shall come with you as well.

Shin: Eh? No need to bother, really…

Carla: I cannot imagine they will simply hand over the money. If I am there as well, it should have at least somewhat of an impact. It is for the sake of my cured ham and paintings, therefore I have no other choice. 

Shin: Seems like you don’t want to give those up, no matter what, Nii-san…

*TIMESKIP*

*Flip flip* 

Reiji: Haahー … We’re cutting it close again this month as well. I suppose we spent a little too much. No, that’s not the problem. It’s all because of all the unnecessary repair costs we had to pay to have the manor fixed. Good grief…

Ayato: Reiji. 

Reiji: The answer is no. 

Ayato: But I haven’t even asked anything yet!? 

Reiji: I know exactly what you’ll ask of me. I bet you’re here to pester me for cash, correct? Either way, the answer stays no. …Well, I suppose it would be more accurate to say I cannot.

Ayato: Che…You stingy Four-Eyes!

Reiji: Oh my, are you sure you can afford to throw such insults at my head? May I remind you that I am the one who monitors the money of this family? 

Ayato: Che…What’s your problem!? I’m all out of money to buy takoyaki tomorrow. Can’t you lend me a lil’? 

Reiji: What part of ‘no’ do you not comprehend? Or rather, I cannot give you something which I do not have. 

Kanato: Reiji! Do you have a second? 

Reiji: Kanato, you too…Wha!? 

Laito: Nfu~ Actually, I’m here too!

Subaru: You can’t blame us, can you!? 

Shuu: If you’re handing out money, I’ll take some as well. 

Reiji: How do you guys think the economy works!? I gave all of you pocket money a mere three days ago, didn’t I!? 

Laito: The amount you gave us wasn’t nearly enough! I went on a couple of days with some girls and poof, it’s all gone!

Kanato: Exactly. I could barely buy any sweets with it.

Subaru: It was clearly too little. 

Shuu: Yes, exactly. You should just hand us the goods already. Hurry up. 

Reiji: No. ーー Or rather, we’re all out of money for this month. 

Ayato: Aah…!? Don’t be lyin’ to us! We know that you’re still hidin’ some!

Reiji: That would be my personal money. I’ve been setting some of my gainings aside each month and I shall not be sharing any of it with you guys, obviously. 

Subaru: Haah!? Fuck off! You’re tryin’ to live the good life all by yourself, aren’t you!? 

Reiji: You can try and threaten me all you want. If you want money that badly, why not ask Father for some instead of me? 

Shuu: Haah…The Old Man, huh?

Ayato: …!! 

Kanato: Laito. You go and ask Father for money. 

Laito: Haah!? Why me!? …As my older brother, it’s your duty to do that, isn’t it?

Kanato: …!! I-I don’t want to! As if I ever could!

Subaru: Just so you know, I’m not doin’ it either!

Reiji: Well, there you have it, so why not simply give up? If you upset Father, he might just send you to Mars for real this time. 

*Ding・dong* 

Reiji: Hm? A visitor? Was someone coming over today?

*TIMESKIP*

Shin: …And there you have it. Now give us the money. 

Reiji: You are catching me quite by surprise but…I do not see why we would need to lend you money? 

Subaru: Exactly. I mean, if we could go and hand it out for free, we wouldn’t be strugglin’ so much ourselves. 

Carla: What do you mean by that? 

Laito: Haah…In short, our family is just as short on cash as yours is. 

Ayato: Exactly! You can’t get noodles from a stone!

Kanato: Ayato, you idiot. It’s ‘soda’, not ‘noodles’. (1)

Carla: What a bunch of fools… 

Shin: Honestly, I don’t care but maybe you shouldn’t be telling lies? Who do you think you’re dealing with, huh? We’re respectable Founders, remember? Do you understand that? 

Reiji: They’re not lying. It’s the truth. Our current savings are non-existent. I almost want to show you our bank extracts, honestly. 

Carla: Sakamaki Tougo is portrayed as a wealthy individual, is he not? It does not take a genius to figure that one out. Don’t underestimate us. 

Shuu: You’re the one making a big mistake by assuming that we’re rich just because the Old Man is. 

Ayato: Yeah! That Shitty Old Man…He’s makin’ that sweet, sweet cash but he won’t even share a single penny with us! 

Kanato: Exactly…! I’ve heard that children from other wealthy families sometimes get up to one million yen for New Year’s. Yet we still have to do with only three thousand! Uuu…Uuuu~  (2)

Shin: …A-Are you…for real? 

Subaru: Dead serious. 

Carla: …!

Shin: Nii-san, what now? We’ve barked up the wrong tree. I feel like we shouldn’t expect too much from the Mukami family either at this rate…

Carla: We cannot know for sure until we ask. They were born and raised as humans, so perhaps they are skilled at saving money. 

Ruki: …What is this about us? 

The Mukami’s arrive to the scene. 

Kou: Hey there, my fellow Vampire comrades~

Subaru: The fuck’s you guys’ problem…? Whatcha all flockin’ together here for!? 

Yuma: Let’s say we’ve got a serious situation goin’ on.  

Azusa: We didn’t actually want to but…Ruki said that we have no other choice but to come and ask for it all together…

Laito: Heeh~? You’re here to ask something from us? How unusual. 

Ruki: Kou had the glorious idea to burn through our family’s entire budget.

Kou: I didn’t have any ill will! There just so happened to be a couple of things I really wanted…Whoopsie~

Yuma: ‘Whoopsie’, my ass! Ya better don’t believe that’ll get ya away with it!

Reiji: …! Don’t tell me…You guys are having money issues as well? 

Ruki: ‘As well’, you say? Don’t tell me…Are the two Tsukinami’s here to beg you for money as well? 

Carla: Do not put it in such a vulgar way. We are Founders. In other words, you Vampires are obligated to submit to us. We came here to have you bow down to us and offer everything you have. 

Azusa: So in other words…You’re trying to blackmail them? 

Shin: We’re not! We’ve already made our point!

Ruki: Who cares about that. Reiji. You get the gist of the situation now so…Would you be so kind to share some money with us? 

Reiji: Good grief…As I already explained to the two gentlemen over there earlier, I am afraid that we cannot offer something we do not have. 

Ruki: You don’t? Is that true? Don’t you guys get showered in money by Karlheinz-sama? 

Ayato: No way. 

Laito: I guess you could say it’s part of his educational approach, but he believes that children should learn how to be mindful with money. (3)

Shin: Nii-san, what are we gonna do now? Seems like the Mukami’s are all out of money too. 

Carla: …

Yuma: Ahー Guess we’ve got no other no other choice but to work, huh? 

Reiji: Exactly. If we get a daytime job, we should be able to save up enough money to get through our everyday lives. Speaking of which…Kou, you have a job, don’t you? 

Shuu: Now that you mention it. You’re an idol, aren’t you? 

Carla: An idol…Which means you’re actually fairly rich? 

Kou: J-Just so we’re all on the same page on this, but like what was mentioned, I blew through all my money so I no longer have anything!

Subaru: Smells fishy to me. I bet this guy is actually loaded on cash despite what he’s sayin’. 

Kou: S-Subaru-kun! Don’t put weird ideas into everyone’s head! Besides, if I did have secret savings, I would have long revealed them! It’s pure humiliation to have to bow our heads to you guys like this! 

Ayato: Which means we’ve really got no other choice but to work, huh? 

Kanato: I’m against the idea! Not in a million years will I work!

Shin: You say that but you’ve got no other choice, do you? We’ll wait, so you guys hurry up and go make us some money through working, okay?

Subaru: Ah? I think you’re gettin’ the wrong idea here. Even if we do earn some money through workin’, we’re not gonna lend it to you fuckers.

Carla: Like I previously stated, it is your duty to hand over your money to us.

Ayato: Idiot! Like we give a damn ‘bout that!

Carla gets upset.

Ayato: …Y-You don’t have to get that angry, do you?

Carla: You fiend…Try repeating yourself one more time. What was that you said just now?

Ayato: W-Well…

Shin: …!! A-Ayato! Take your statement back right now! Or do you want this manor to get blown to bits!? 

Reiji: Blown to bits!? Excuse me, Ayato! Do you have any idea how much it’ll cost to have the manor rebuilt from scratch!? Apologize at once!

Ayato: Ugh…My bad…

Carla: …Oh well, I suppose I can let it slide. In return, come and bring us the money at once. Do you understand? 

Shuu: Good grief…This is what we have to deal with, huh? So, what are we gonna do now? Just so you don’t, I don’t want to work. 

Subaru: I’m not workin’ either.

Laito: I mean, me neither but what are we gonna do about our money issues? 

Kanato: Can’t Reiji just hand over his savings? 

Reiji: I figured you’d say that. However, like I mentioned earlieーー

Ruki: If you have any savings left, give them to us. 

Yuma: Anyway, why would ya first claim to be all out when you’ve actually got some savings put aside? If ya the money to us, it’ll solve all problems. 

Kou: Ahー Geez, I actually was seriously worried for nothing.£

Azusa: Hey, Reiji-san…You’ll give us the money, right? 

Everyone stares at Reiji intensely

Reiji: …!? Excuse me…? Why are you staring at me like that!? …Let me inform you just in case, but trying to force me to pay will not work. I will not give in to your threats. 

Carla: Then we simply do not resort to coercion, correctly? All we need to do is make it so you will gladly hand us the money. 

Ruki: I see. I suppose we have that option. What a genius idea. 

Reiji: D-Do not be ridiculous! What on earth makes you believe I will want to do that?

Shin: I wonder? We won’t know until you try, right? 

Reiji: …W-What are you planning to do!? 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: …Reiji, let me give you a shoulder massage. 

Reiji: …!? 

Shuu: Don’t be modest now. 

Ayato: Reiji! I’ll feed you this takoyaki I’ve got over here! Come on, open wide! ‘Aaahn!’

Reiji: …N-No thank you!

Kou: Hmm~ In that case, I rarely ever give someone such a treat but I’ll perform the currently number-one popular idol song live for you! 

Reiji: No, no, no! Please don’t sing!

Yuma: Geez…Ya give me no other choice. Ya can have as many of the summer vegetables from my field as ya want. Totally free!

Reiji: That does sound tempting…No, no, if anything, you should sell those vegetables to make money yourself. 

Yuma: Nah, I’ll only get some small change for it.

Ruki: Then how does this sound? I shall cook for you using Yuma’s vegetables. 

Reiji: I prefer cooking myself rather than eating!

Laito: Then how about this? I’ll wash your back for you~!

Reiji: Please don’t even suggest something so creepy! …Ah, god!

*Thud* 

Reiji: You guys can say whatever you want, but I’m not giving you any of my savings! End of the story!

Kanato: E-Excuse me!? Where are you going!? 

Reiji: Away from you lot. 

Azusa: No…You can’t. 

Reiji: Mukami Azusa…Move aside at once. 

Azusa: No, I won’t move. Hey…Please listen to my request? If you do, you can hit me all you want. Okay? 

Reiji: Wha…!? Y-Your request…? I bet you also want to ask for money, correct? Besides, I fail to see what I would gain from this deal. Isn’t getting hit basically your hobby?

Azusa: It isn’t.

Reiji: …!? Then what is it!? 

Azusa: My life? 

Shin: That suddenly got deep. 

Reiji: Whatever. Just please step aside. Iーー

Carla puts his hand on Reiji’s shoulder. 

Carla: You are not getting away. 

Reiji: …!! What do you want, Carla? Get your hand off me. 

Carla: I am afraid you will have to sacrifice you for the sake of my cured ham and painting collection! …Shin!

Shin: Roger~! 

*Rustle* 

Shin: Now behave, okay? 

*Rustle* 

Reiji: …!? W-What are you going to do!? 

Carla: Of course, I would have loved to be able to refrain from resorting to such extreme measures. However, none of this would have happened if you would have simply given us the money right away. 

Reiji: Hah? 

Carla: Oi, you lot! Do not stand there spacing out but help out!

Shuu: Haah…What a drag. But I guess it can’t be helped. It’s for the greater good…I don’t want to have to give up on my CDs either. 

Ayato: Yeah. …Reiji. Don’t take it personally, ‘kay? 

*Thud* 

Kanato: It’s for my sweets, so I’m sure you can understand, right? 

*Thud* 

Laito: I’ve got a couple of dates planned out already as well, so you leave me no other choice~ 

*Thud* 

Subaru: Maybe you shouldn’t have been so stingy, huh? 

*Thud* 

Reiji: …!? Y-You guys…! Aren’t you embarrassed, letting those Founders order you around like that!? 

Ruki: We haven’t become their loyal servants, really. We simply…Right.

*Thud* 

Ruki: Share a mutual interest right now. 

Reiji: …!! Ruki, even you…

Kou: Don’t worry~! We won’t hurt you…!

*Thud* 

Yuma: Hehehe…Now we’re talkin’...

*Thud* 

Azusa: Reiji-san…Are you ready…?

*Thud* 

Reiji: …! Kuh…C-Cut it out!

Carla: It is not too late to change your mind just yet. Well then, will you give us the money? 

Reiji: …Y-You’re playing it dirty! I am not the type of guy who will give in to these kinds of threats! Please do not underestimate me!

Shin: I guess our negotiations end here then. 

Carla: You leave me no other choice…You lot! Do it!

Reiji: …! S-Stop…!

They all start tickling Reiji simultaneously. 

Reiji: Excuse me…W-What are you…? Ahahahaha…!

Shuu: It’s your own fault for not simply giving us the money right away.

They continue tickling him. 

Reiji: Wait…Stoーー...! It tickles…! Hahaha…Ahahaha…! …I can’t…! I swear…!

Subaru: Ah, damnit! Just throw in the towel already!

Reiji: My god…I really can’t…Ahahaha! …You lot! I can’t believe you’d resort to this…!

Kou: Ah~ Come on, just say you give up already~ 

Reiji: …Fine! I understand! Please, just stop already! I’m begging you!

Yuma: What do you mean? …Take this!

Reiji: I’ll share the money…That’s all you want from me, right!? 

Carla: Good grief…Was that truly worth all the trouble? You should have simply given it to us from the very start. 

Reiji: Haah, haah…I never thought it’d come to this…Good grief…You lot are unbelievable… 

Shin: Well then. You better hurry up and show us the money. You don’t want a repeat of that, do you? 

Reiji: Che…

Reiji goes to fetch the money. 

*Rustle rustle* 

*Cling* 

*Clunk* 

*Creaaaak* 

*Rustle* 

He returns. 

*THUD*

Reiji: …Now you have no more complaints, correct? 

Ayato: Woah! You’re stacked…! When did you save up all of this money? 

Reiji: …I’ve been carefully setting some money aside each time, while all of you were too busy spending it recklessly. Good grief. This is horrible. It’s always the honest people who get the short end of the stick. 

…Oh well, I suppose it’s fine. I suppose you are all in debt with me right now, so please, go ahead and use this money as you see fit. 

Shuu: Is that sarcasm I smell there? …Oh well, guess I’ll borrow some. 

Carla: …!

*Smack* 

Shuu: Ah…

Carla: Who gave you permission to take some of that money? 

Shuu: What do you mean? 

Shin: This amount of money will barely even cut it to buy Nii-san’s cured ham, so we’ll be taking all of it. 

Ruki: Excuse me? 

Carla: If you have a problem with that, I shall gladly be your opponent. 

Ayato: Haah!? 

Subaru: So you wanna throw fists, huh!? 

Ruki: Yuma. It’s time for plan B.

Yuma: Roger! …Oi, Azusa. 

Azusa: Mmh. I know. 

*Rustle* 

Azusa: Carla-san. Shin-san. We won’t let you do with that money as you please. Well then, Kou, Yuma, Ruki…Hurry up and take the money!

Azusa becomes a shield for them.

*Rustle* 

Shin: E-Excuse me…!? What are you doing? 

*Rustle* 

Ruki: My bad, but we’re taking this cash. 

Carla: Che. Seems like you four do not value your own life. 

*BZZZZT*

Azusa takes the hit. 

Azusa: …Ugh! Uu…Haah, haah…

Carla: Excuse me!? He withstood my attack…!? 

Ruki: My bad, Azusa! We’ll see each other at the meeting place later!

Kou: Don’t push yourself too much, okay, Azusa-kun!? 

Yuma: See ya!

The other three Mukami’s run away.

Azusa: Don’t…worry…I love…the pain after all…Haah…~  …Come on, Carla-san. More…! Fire more of those at me…!!

Carla: …!!

Kanato: …H-Hold up!! The money…!! They took all of it with them!

Reiji: …Come again!? When did they…!? I didn’t notice because I was too busy looking at Carla. 

Shuu: Haah…What a drag. Why did it turn out like this? Don’t you think it’s because you guys were trying to be too greedy? 

Carla: Hmph! That money was mine from the very start, so this isn’t an issue of being greedy or not. 

Ayato: It’s a lost case. There’s no talkin’ with this dude. 

Carla: Oi, Shin! Chase after them!

Shin: Yeah, yeah, I know. Or rather, if you would simply give up on your cured ham and those weird paintings, we wouldn’t even need money…

Azusa attempts to stop him. 

*Thud* 

Azusa: Wait, Shin-san! You have to defeat me first…!

Shin: Ah, god! You better stay away from me, you freaky masochist! 

Shin runs away. 

Laito: Hey, what are we gonna do now? 

Kanato: I’m exhausted…I’ll simply content myself with the sweets I still have in the cupboard. I can’t picture myself chasing after them. 

Laito: Right? When I think about it…It’s not like I’m that desperate to go on a date with girls other than Bitch-chan. 

Ayato: Me too. I can just have Chichinashi make me free takoyaki instead, right? 

Shuu: Haah…I guess it’s obvious the same goes for me. Pwaah…I’m sleepy. 

*Thud* 

Subaru: Damnit…! The fuck’s this shit…

Ayato: By the way, Subaru…Why did you even want money to begin with? 

Subaru: W-Well…You know…I figured I’d upgrade my coffin a lil’ here and there…

Reiji: Good grief…I suppose your situations weren’t nearly as pressing as the Mukami family’s. Haah…Oh well. You lot try to abstain from your luxuries for once, understood? …Oh. 

Carla: …

Reiji: You are still here? 

Carla: Hmph. You have some nerve to say that, you commoner. I shall stay here until Shin returns. 

*Rustle* 

Reiji: Good grief, you truly are unbelievable…Why not simply give up on your cured ham and painting collection? 

Carla: I shall give up on the latter. I could never buy them with that little money anyway. 

Reiji: Hmph. But it seems that the cured ham is something you cannot give up? 

Carla: It is my favorite food after all. 

Reiji: Ahー Well…If that’s the case, I suppose you really need the money just as badly as the Mukami family does. 

Carla: Hmph. 

Reiji: Ahーah…I suppose I will have to start saving up again. This time, I suppose I will not mention it to anyone and keep it my own little secret. 

ーー THE END ーー 

Translation notes

(1) This short back-and-forth between Ayato and Kanato is all based on a language pun around the Japanese proverb: ない袖は振れない’ which literally means ‘you can’t shake a sleeve you don’t have’ and refers to being unable to give what one does not have themselves. Ayato gets things mixed up and says そば (soba / soba noodles) instead of 袖 (sode / sleeve). Kanato then promptly ‘corrects’ him by stating that it’s ソーダ (soda) instead. Of course, both of them are equally incorrect. I struggled to translate this part quite a bit, but I eventually settled with the English provide ‘you can’t get blood from a stone’ since it was the easiest to replace one noun for another in that one. 

(2) ¥1,000,000 and ¥3,000 are approximately 10,000 and 30 USD respectively. 

(3) Laito refers to the concept of ‘Honorable poverty’ (清貧), coined by the Japanese philosophist Suzume, who believes in the dangers of excess consumption and waste.

[cjsinkythoughts]

Inner Conflict

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3586

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Some Angst, Some Fluff, Sam and Bucky being idiots, Mentions of PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression

A/N: Here’s Part Three to my FATWS Series, which I’m making a masterlist for that you can find Here. 

Uh…it’s a little long, and I apologize for that. It doesn’t even encompass the whole second episode, only the first half, so a Part 3.5 will be coming out later today probably (it’s my day off work so I have all day to relax and write!) I tried not doing a line for line rewrite of the episode, but there are quotes from the show in here. Mostly it’s Reader’s thoughts and feelings towards what’s happening while conversations are going on around. Reader’s backstory is a bit more unfurled. It’s more action packed and more scene-for-scene of the episode than the previous two. Less emotions shared and less hurt/comfort type of thing, but that’ll be back in the next part probably along with more scenes not in the show. The next part I’m planning won’t be as long, it’ll mainly just be the Couples Therapy scene and a bit more angst with her and Sam and her and Bucky.

Because there’s four more episodes and I don’t know what’s going to happen in them, I’m kinda hesitant on spilling out exactly what is going on with the Reader and what her role was on the original team, but we’ll get there. Also, I wasn’t expecting to be writing multiple pieces for one episode, but if the other episodes are as packed as this one, prepare yourself for more parts than anticipated. We’re already on Part 3 and I’ve got Part 3.5 coming. Just bare with me as I don’t know what’s going to happen in future episodes! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it! 

(Not beta’d so excuse any mistakes.)

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

Walking out of the shower, ruffling a towel through your hair to dry it off, you froze at the sound of the TV. A sigh left your lips. It’s all he’d been doing the last few days - watching the news. Keeping up with the tour for the new Captain America.

You peeked out of the small bedroom to find Bucky sitting on the floor, brow creased as he watched John Walker talk to the Good Morning America hostess.

“You shouldn’t be watching that.” You spoke up, leaning on the doorway, still patting your hair dry. He glanced over to you, taking in the towel wrapped around you, before looking back at the TV. Seeing you like that wasn’t anything new. “Buck, I’m serious. Brooding over it won’t make anything better.”

“What do you want me to do?”

You let out a sigh, shifting your feet and biting your lip as you thought about how to respond. “I-I haven’t figured it out yet. But obsessing over the new guy-”

“Aren’t you mad?”

You frowned at his question, his eyes meeting yours once more. “I told you already that I am.”

He tilted his head, which he did when he was confused, his eyes narrowing. “Why don’t you show it? Why aren’t you screaming or cursing or crying or something? You, of all people-”

“Because it won’t help anything, Buck.” You shook your head, pushing off the wall. “I want to. But if I let myself go down that road…” Dropping your gaze to the floor, you take a breath, collecting your thoughts. “This is such a complicated situation, James. I’m being contacted left and right for a statement on the new Captain. People trying to see my reaction. Senators trying to get me to meet with him. I can’t let myself snap. I can’t.”

He scowled. “They’re still bothering you?”

A dry chuckle escaped your lips and you nodded. “Makes me miss the days when no one knew who I was; when I was the behind-the-scenes seventh Avenger. But I made that choice to come out, and I have to deal with the consequences now. Blowing up will only-”

“Even though I never met him…he feels like a brother.”

That one statement stopped you in your tracks. Bucky’s head whipped back to the TV, his jaw ticking, his nose scrunching up.

“Did he really just say that?”

Bucky merely nodded, his chest heaving as he tried getting his breathing under control. “Feel like snapping now?”

You purse your lips as you held in the tears stinging your eyes. After composing yourself, you moved over and grabbed the remote, letting out a tiny sniffle as you did so. You tentatively touched Bucky’s shoulder, silently asking him if he needed anything from you. His response was to open his arms, so you quickly got down besides him to hold him.

“He is my brother, doll.”

“I know, Buck.” You pressed a soft kiss to his head, which rested against your bare shoulder.

Your bare knees are pressed harshly against the wooden panels of the floor, and you’re twisted awkwardly, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. As long as he was comfortable, you would take the uncomfortable position. As long as he was being held, you would take the soreness it would leave. As long as you could help him be some sort of okay, you would take not being okay in this position.

 You two sat like that for a few more moments before your phone buzzed. You gave a sigh, pulling back and holding his cheeks in either hand. He wasn’t crying, although he was on the verge of doing so. You’d seen him cry before, so you knew he didn’t mind. For you it was a different story.

Bucky had maybe seen you cry twice since the whole Blip thing went down. And one of them was over the phone, so he didn’t see it so much as he heard it. You didn’t let yourself cry in front of him. Or anyone, for that matter. It was a part of you. The only person you ever felt comfortable enough around to cry in front of…wasn’t there. And you couldn’t change that.

“We’ll figure it out.” You told him, nodding gently and letting a small, sad smile quirk the corners of your lips up. “Okay? We’ll figure it out.”

The clench in his jaw loosened as your fingers worked circles into the hinge, making him relax and nod back. You pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before standing up, moving across the room to where your phone was on the counter. You assumed it’d be another government official or news reporter, so you were slightly shocked to see ‘Sammy’ flashing up at you.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you read his message, a slight pout forming on your face. 

“Doll?” Toned arms wrapped around you, warm and cool, his chin setting on your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Sam. He needs my help with something.”

“I’m coming with you.”

You turned in his arms, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Why?”

He shrugged, licking his lips. “You might need help.”

“Bucky, you can’t go if you’re just going to yell at him.”

“I won’t.”

You studied his features. He was lying, you knew that. Of course he was going to snap at Sam for giving up the shield. He was mad and they got on each others’ nerves every chance they could find, so of course he was going to.

But you still found yourself saying yes and telling him to go pack a bag. You were never able to say no to Steve and it seemed that got passed on. What a nuisance it was.

****************

And you were so right. It was the first thing he said once Sam came into view coming down the stairs.

“You shouldn’t have given up the shield, Sam.”

“James.” You squeezed the hand he was holding, voice pleading for him not to do this right now. He huffed, stepping back to let you greet Sam properly, giving the man a hug. “Hi, Sammy.”

“It’s been a while.” Sam commented, pulling back and holding you by the shoulders. “You look good. Not that you’ve ever looked otherwise.”

You gave him a small smile. “You do too.”

“Thanks for coming. I know it’s short notice, but-”

“It’s fine, Sam. Really.” You insist.

Sam nodded, before eyeing Bucky. “Did you have to bring him?”

“Samuel-”

“This is wrong.” Bucky cut in, staring Sam down, falling into step besides him as the man started heading outside.

“James-”

“Hey, hey. Look. I’m working, all right?”

You rolled your eyes as the two started arguing, stopping your stride to take a breather. You used to joke about babysitting them, but it didn’t feel like a joke anymore and you were getting tired of it. All the bickering for no reason. The contempt they held for one another. Steve made you promise that you would look out for them, and you were trying, but they weren’t making it easy.

When you joined them again, you raised an eyebrow at the direction the conversation turned. How the hell did they get from arguing about the shield to what a wizard is?

“Ahh! Haha! A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat!”

You gave Sam a look as he babbled about how he was right. “Sorcerer Mickey has a hat. Isn’t that, like, how he gets his powers and everything?”

Bucky grinned at you. “Thank you!”

“Excuse you!” Sam scoffed, pointing an accusing finger at you. “We were having a conversation!”

“Yeah. A stupid conversation I just ended. Now I’m gonna be in the plane. Feel free to join me when you’re done being idiots.”

They both spluttered, but you were already walking away, leaving no room for arguments. As you loaded onto the plane, you spotted the Lieutenant whom Sam mentioned who had been helping him out with missions. Torres, you thought, remembering his name from a previous phone call with your friend.

“You Lieutenant Torres?” You asked, walking up to him.

He blinked, before his eyes widened, a grin appearing on his face. He seemed young, which you were perfectly okay with considering you’ve been working alongside old men for the past decade. It was always nice to work with a fresh face, which you found after you started working with Wanda and Peter.

The thought of the two youngest members made you falter, not having heard from either of them since Christmas almost six months prior, but you quickly recovered yourself, shaking away the worries you had for them.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N! I’m a huge fan! I’ve read all your files!”

Chuckling a little, you held out your hand. “Most of those are heavily classified.”

He ducked his head with a little blush, rubbing the back of his neck after shaking your hand. “I, uh, I might’ve…used connections.”

“It’s okay.” You reassured him, throwing him a wink. “I won’t tell. Can you tell me what’s going on? Sam didn’t exactly explain the situation.”

He nodded, getting into ‘work mode’, something you’ve seen in most military men, informing you of their recent missions and the group known as the Flag-Smashers and giving you a file on them. He was in the middle of telling you about his solo mission in Germany when your two fellas came in, sending each other small glares, but remaining quiet.

Bucky caught your eye and sent an apologetic look your way, to which you just smiled at before turning back to Torres.

“Well I’m glad you’re okay.” You told him once he was done.

“Oh yeah. It wasn’t that bad.”

You laughed and nodded. “I’m sure. You seem like a tough kid.”

He smiled, before looking around and jabbing his thumb behind his shoulder. “I-I’ve gotta go, but-”

“We can talk later.” You promised with a grin.

“Really?!”

“Of course! I have a feeling we’ll be working together more, and I like getting to know who’s gonna have my back.”

He beamed and nodded, walking backwards. “That’d be awesome! Talk to you later then!”

You giggled as he turned around and jogged off, pumping his fist in the air. You turned to a grinning Sam and nodded towards where Torres left. “I like him. Seems like a nice kid.”

“He is. Very energetic. A little reckless, but he’s got a good heart.”

You hummed, the smile falling from your face as you flipped through the file Torres gave you. “So…Munich?”

“Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry again for taking you away from the search, but-”

“Search is off.” You informed him quickly, not looking up. “Until further notice.”

The plane went quiet, before Sam cleared his throat. “So…no sign of Wanda yet, then?”

You shut the file, looking up at the men whose features were laced with concern. “I’m gonna go talk to the pilot. Behave while I’m gone. No pushing each other off the plane.”

“Doll?”

You were stopped by the hand that grabbed your wrist as you passed Bucky. You shot him another smile, knowing it wasn’t convincing enough for him, but it being the best one you had. “I’m okay. I’ve just gotta ask him some questions.”

************

Opening your mouth to stop him, you groaned when Bucky jumped out of the plane before you could speak. First Sam jumps without sharing the plan, then Bucky jumps without having a plan. Or a parachute. Or wings. Or anything.

Torres looked at you, but all you could do was shrug. “I dunno what to tell you, kid.”

“You’re not gonna do that, are you?”

“No.” You reassured him, shaking your head. “I’m gonna wait ‘til we land like a normal person and take my bike. I just have to pray that they’ll wait to do anything stupid until I get there.”

They didn’t wait. You’re pretty sure they didn’t even think about waiting. By the time you got to them, they were fighting - and losing, might you add - to six really strong people on top of two semi trucks.

Because why wouldn’t they?

Oh, oh. And on top of that, the fake was there, throwing the shield. The shield that didn’t belong to him. The shield that meant so much more than he would ever know.

“Hi, doll! Sorry we started the party without you!” Bucky shouted from where he was hanging off the edge, that close to the street and getting his head torn off by the tire.

“I’m so tired of babysitting you two, you know that?!”

“Oh! Sorry we’re such an inconvenience for you! Blame him! He jumped the gun!” Sam shouted, coming to fly next to you as you rolled up your sleeves, standing on your bike, using one hand to steer.

“Can I get a little help already?!”

“Sam-!”

“On it!”

Knowing that no matter how much they pissed each other off, Sam would make sure Bucky was okay and vice versa, you focused on getting to the top, where Walker and a buddy of his were struggling a little bit.

You climbed up to the roof of the semi no one was on, wincing when you heard your bike skidding across the pavement. There goes half your salary.

You couldn’t dwell on it for very long, considering one of the guys appeared in front of you. You recognized the fighting - the strength - and faltered, a memory resurfacing at a very bad time.

~

“C’mon, honey. You can do better than that.” Steve grinned at you, holding out a hand to help you up.

“Excuse me for not having super strength, Rogers.” You huffed out, taking it and letting him pull you up.

“You don’t need to be stronger than me. You just need to be smarter.”

“That’ll be easy.” You teased, stretching your arms before getting into your stance again. “You’re a dumbass sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, who chose to be friends with this dumbass?”

“Everyone needs a dumbass for a friend.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “So I’m your dumbass?”

“If you want.”

The grin he shot you made your heart skip a beat. “If you’ll have me.”

~

You blinked, but Steve wasn’t in front of you anymore and you weren’t in the gym in DC. 

The guy caught the punch you distractedly threw and twisted your arm, making you cry out, kicking him in the back of the knee and flipping him over your shoulder.

You went to kick him again, but he caught your leg and threw you against the side of the other semi. You were able to grab onto where Bucky had ripped through the side, but you winced as the metal cut through your palm. Sam had just flown under the trucks, taking Buck with him, and you knew when a fight wasn’t worth it, so you quickly moved around the truck, letting Walker and his pal distract the Flag-Smashers, before letting yourself fall onto the side where the grass was.

You wanted to lay there, to catch your breath and curse yourself for getting distracted. You hadn’t had a flashback like that in a while. But you didn’t let yourself. You had to make sure the guys were okay.

Standing up made you cringe; you could feel the throbbing in your shoulder from where it was no doubt dislocated and your leg was aching, the muscle probably pulled when the guy threw you.

“Doll!” You turned, seeing Bucky and Sam sprinting towards you a few yards down the road. “Hey, hey.” Bucky immediately had his hands hovering over you, scanning your body. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, shoving his hands away. “I’m fine.”

“What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“I think I dislocated it.”

Sam frowned. “What the hell happened?”

You gave him a weird look, starting to limp across the field to where you noticed a side road earlier. “They were super soldiers, Sam. And we got our asses kicked.”

“Yeah, but you know how to fight a super soldier-”

“It’s been a while.”

“Bullshit.” Sam side stepped in front of you, making you stop. “What happened?”

“I-I just got distracted, okay?”

“Y/N. Look at me.” Bucky took your face between his palms, eyes worried. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. A tired sigh left your lips and you looked anywhere but his eyes. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just hurting. My leg, I think I pulled it or something-”

“C’mere.” Bucky turned and crouched down, making you blink.

“What?”

“You shouldn’t be walking. We don’t wanna make it worse.”

“But it’s just a strain, it won’t-”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Just get on the man’s back, Y/N.”

You bit your lip before sighing and carefully climbing on his back. He shifted you gently, making sure to hold your leg with caution, leaning his head into yours when you hooked your chin on his shoulder. “You-you don’t have to talk about what happened. Just-just know that when you do…I’ll be here, okay?”

You nodded, moving to press your nose against the column of his throat. “Okay.”

But you could never tell them. How could you? How could you tell the world’s longest POW that you were having nightmares? How could you complain to an Air Force vet who served two tours in Afghanistan and watched his best friend get blown out of the air that you were having flashbacks?

You weren’t sure if it was PTSD or anxiety or depression. Maybe all three. It didn’t matter, though, because you didn’t want to admit it. You wouldn’t admit it. No one thought the Blip messed you up that badly. No one thought Steve leaving did that much damage. And you were okay with that. You were okay with them thinking you were healing - that you were fine - because they needed to see that it could be done. That they could be fine, too. Especially the men walking, Sam teasing Bucky per usual.

It wasn’t until a horn honked that you allowed yourself to be pulled out of your thoughts. A scoff left you when you realized who it was, switching the side you were laying on so your cheek pressed up against the cool metal of his left shoulder, facing away from the jeep.

You tried ignoring the guy as he talked about working together and shit, taking a shuddering breath, making Bucky squeeze your uninjured thigh. There was no way you were working with him. You couldn’t. It’d be like betraying Steve and you didn’t need that on top of all the other things you were dealing with.

You couldn’t deny the need for a ride though. The airport was 20 miles away and you were hurting pretty bad. You suspected that was the reason the guys relented, Bucky tenderly setting you down in the jeep between him and Sam, careful of your injuries.

You stared at your lap as Walker and Sam talked shop. You understood where they were coming from, you were always able to see both sides of the coin, but it didn’t mean you were going to willingly work with him.

“I got mad respect for all of y’all, but you were kind of getting your asses kicked till we showed up.”

You scoffed at that, finally raising your eyes to meet Walker’s friend’s. “Like you were doing any better?”

Bucky reached over to grab her hand that was resting on her lap. “You know, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you.” Walker faced you, eyes raking down your form. Bucky shifted in his spot, but you ran your thumb over his knuckles before he could do or say anything stupid.

“Yeah. I know. My phone hasn’t stopped blowing up for a week. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Walker frowned. “If you just answered-”

“I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you’ve done. I’ve been a little busy doing my job to blow smoke up your ass on national television. Sorry if my saving people’s lives has been an inconvenience for you, but some wannabe playing dress up isn’t my top priority.”

Walker’s brows furrowed and he was about to say something, when Bucky cut in, asking his friend who he was. You were already that close to jumping out of the jeep, when the guy, Hoskins, told you three that he went by ‘Battlestar’.

If the situation wasn’t so aggravating, you would’ve laughed when Bucky immediately told the driver to stop, opening the door before the car even stopped. “C’mere, doll.” He murmured, lifting you up into his arms bridal style, before walking off, tuning out Walker as he shouted after you two.

You pouted a little when you saw Sam still talking to the guy. “What’re they talking about, Buck?”

“Some nonsense about him not replacing Steve. Just trying to be the best Captain America he can.”

You laid your head against Bucky’s chest. “The best Captain America is Steve. He can never be Steve.”

“I know, doll.”

“Steve told me once that all he was trying to do was be a good man…it’ll always amaze me that he didn’t see he was the best.”

You missed the distraught look Bucky shot towards you, the look in his eyes almost heartbroken while you talked fondly about his best friend. The tortured scrunch to his features seemed to melt away at your next words, though, and he held you tighter as you curled into his hold.

“Just like it amazes me that you don’t know how important you are to me too, Buckaroo.”

[katyasrussianaccent]

i don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips (corpse x reader)

Summary: Corpse suggests you flirt with each other to mess with the fans. What happens when you suddenly catch feelings?

Authors Note: This has been in my brain for so long so I decided to write it. May or may not write a part 2, im not sure. Lemme know what you think! My requests are open for fic/headcannons aswell 💖

It should have been simple.

Flirt, mess with the fans a little, sit back and relax.

It should have been simple.

You remember Corpse coming to you with the idea.

“Why would we do that?” you had asked, frowning at your phone screen. It had been another late night phone conversation with him; something that was starting to become a regular occurrence.

You pictured him shrug as he answered. “Fun?”

“Are you so bored you wanna make a fake relationship with me?”

“Not a relationship. Just do what we do now, but like, more.”

You had agreed before your brain had even registered it. On paper it was straightforward. You already flirted a little anyway, you were naturally a flirtatious person, and so was he. It made sense; or at least you had told yourself that it did. You knew the fans already shipped you together, you saw the things they tweeted as you occasionally lurked the ynhusband tag on Twitter. It was just innocent fun right? No-one was going to get hurt.

For a little while that was true. For a little while he called you baby and you called him darling and it meant nothing. Your face didn’t feel flush when he commented on your latest Instagram post and your heart didn’t do a little flip when he would call you just to see how you were. The phone conversations were your favourite; curled up in bed with the phone on your pillow, trading secrets into the night. He had suddenly become this constant in your life, this almost routine familiarity like brushing your teeth or going to get milk.

You weren’t sure what changed, when it had gone from being innocent fun to meaning something. It was like someone had flicked a switch, and Corpse was no longer a warm glow but this bright, blinding light that hurt your eyes to look at too long. It was almost cruel, the way you wanted something so unobtainable; the universe’s idea of a joke had no humour in it. The thing with Corpse was he was so unaware of the power he had. He was mysterious yes, but he was faceless among a sea of faces; of course people were drawn to him. And you were just another.

You started to pull away. You played different games with different people, you ignored his tweets. It was easier, if you never interacted with him, you could pretend there was nothing but shallow feelings instead of the crashing waves that threatened to pull you under. The fans had started to notice; your streams were filled with questions that you refused to answer.

“Where’s Corpse?” you read aloud as you scrolled down the chat. “Probably in his house? Go ask him.” Your tone was bitter even to you and you inwardly cringed. He hadn’t contacted you in 2 weeks, and while you were thankful, you were hurt by it. It was stupid and hypoctritical of you to be upset by something that was your own doing, and you weren’t sure what you had expected from him. He had other friends, other people to talk to, why would he have cared about you anyway?

Your phone lit up next to you, and you ignored the pang of disappointment at Rae’s picture flashing up.

Rae: Among Us???

You hesitated for a second. The likelihood of Corpse being there was high, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t say a thing to you, not on stream or in front of your friends. You could just ignore him, like you had been doing and it would be fine. You weren’t sure you believed yourself anymore.

“Guys, you want to watch me play Among Us? I’m not sure who’s playing, other than Rae.” You looked at the fast flowing stream of affirmatives and emojis. Guess you had to do it now. You opened up the game and joined the lobby.

“-yeah she looks really fucking cute,” you heard Corpse say as you logged in. You looked down at your outfit,; he definitely wasn’t talking about you in your oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You had been on stream for a few hours now; your eyeliner was smudged a little and any lipstick had worn off with the constant drinking and licking your lips. No, he definitely wasn’t talking about you.

“Hey guys,” you said tentatively, swallowing down the feeling of jealousy at Corpse’s previous words.

A chorus of greetings hit you, and you smiled at their enthusiasm. You had played with Rae, Sykunno and Toast a few times before, but Felix, Jack and Ash were new to you, though you knew of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Corpse said. You had hoped after 2 weeks he wouldn’t still affect you so much, but the way your stomach turned said otherwise.

“Hey Corpse,” you replied, hoping your tone was casual.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” he asked.

“Oh. Uh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy I guess, how are you?” You looked down as you answered, picking at your nail polish. You glanced at the chat that was filled with messages.

corpsesbaby: You can always tell when someones lying coz they look down” llamadelrey: why is this so awkward lmao arent they friends??” simpsforrae: This is like is a breakup i swear

“I’ve been okay, thanks” Corpse answered, drawing your eyes off the chat and back to the game. You nodded as you muted your mic to go back to your stream.

“I hope I don’t get imposter, I always suck at that so much.” You watched as the screen counted down and the word IMPOSTER flashed up alongside Corpse’s name. “Guess I jinxed it guys.”

Great. Not only were you imposter, you were imposter with Corpse, which meant you would have to actually speak to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have to.

You both followed Rae as she walked up towards Greenhouse, and you cornered her while she did her task, killing her quickly.

“Everyone seemed to go right, so we should vent back towards cafeteria to avoid suspicion,” Corpse said.

“Okay,” you answered. You vented together, and you muted your mic to laugh. “This is kinda cosy guys.” You said to your chat. You briefly imagined what it would be like in real life to be so close to him.

You moved to Admin where Toast was doing his task. Before you could say a word, Corpse had already killed him and you both vented outside Cafeteria. “Fuck, that was so close,” you muttered, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” he replied, making your heart sing a little.

“Oh my hero,” you said, making a point of swooning to your chat, your voice high and airy. “How will I ever repay you?”

He chuckled, “You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

You flushed at the suggestive tone he had taken, and you hoped it wasn’t noticeable but judging by the comments in your chat, it clearly had been. This was another issue you had with Corpse; he always made these type of comments with you and it was really annoying. You knew there was no chance he was being serious, and sometimes you wished he would stop it purely because it got your hopes up.

delilah: shes BLUSHING dreamofme: uWu yn uWu

You opened your mouth to respond when Dead Body Reported flashed up, bringing your thoughts back to the game.

“Toast and Rae are dead,” Sykuuno said. “I found Rae in Greenhouse and Toast in admin.”

“I was in balcony, I went there from the cafeteria,” you said confidently. You hated being Imposter, especially being teamed with Corpse, who was so good at the game, you had a lot of pressure to do well.

“I was in MedBay, I didn’t see you YN,” Ash accused.

“You only see if they enter through the left door. She entered through the other door,” Corpse answered for you.

“And how do you know that?” Felix asked.

“I was in Cafeteria,” Corpse replied.

“You could’ve vented YN,” Jack said.

“No I couldn’t have, if Ash was in MedBay, she would have seen me. Unless she wasn’t in MedBay,” you suggested, smirking to your cam as you muted. “It’s not going too bad I don’t think? Always feel like I’ve been arrested when I’m Imposter.”

“Little sus of you Ash to say you were in MedBay when you weren’t,” Corpse said. You gaped a little at how easy it was for him to manipulate the situation, it was almost scary.

Ash argued as the other players began to agree and discuss among themselves. You smiled in success at the text on the screen.

Ash has been ejected.

You split up this time, and while you hadn’t really spoken during the game, you kind of missed Corpse’s astronaut next to yours, and you said that to your chat. “Haha, our colours did look cute together, I agree.”

Any previous trepidation you had had disappeared as soon as you had heard his voice; and you realised how much you had missed him. You would simply just need to deal with your feelings; they would go away eventually anyway. You just hoped it wasn’t too late for you to start again with him.

You walked to MedBay with Skyunno, making small talk as you did.

“I’m glad to see you playing with us, it’s been a little while,” he said and you felt bad that you would have to kill him. As you turned towards him, ready to kill as he did his task, Jack walked in. You mouthed oops at the cam.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked, suspicion in his voice.

“I was just saying how nice it was to have YN here,” Sykunno replied. You stood and faked your task, watching the green bar fill as you did. It would be too risky to kill here.

“Ah yeah, Corpse has been asking after you constantly,” Jack said. You blinked at the response, it had caught you off guard.

“Oh?” you replied simply. You mentally shrugged it off. Of course he would have asked about you, you were friends, that was all.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Felix was dead in Reactor,” Corpse announced. “Oh Corpse, you’re taking a risk here” you said to your chat.

“I was in MedBay with Jack and Sykunno,” you replied, smiling as they agreed. “Where were you Ash?”

She sighed sadly. “I was in Labs, but I was doing a task, I swear!” You all agreed quickly that Ash would be the next voted out.

“2 to go,” you said triumphantly. “I thought I was gonna drag Corpse down, but it’s going okay!”

The round started again and you could feel yourself getting tired. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much longer to finish the game.

You circled round Corpse a few times, hoping that he would understand your signal. Luckily he did, and you both vented to Decontamination where Skyunno and Jack were. The room had already started to emit steam, making it extremely easy for you both to vent unnoticed and kill them both.

You grinned at the Victory message that flashed up.

“Good game guys!” you said. The others congratulated you and Corpse on your win and you smiled at the sound of your names together. You had it bad.

“It was all YN,” Corpse said.

“Pfft you ssh being humble, it was all you,” you replied, taking your hair out of your ponytail and running your hand through it.

“Your hair looks nice,” Corpse commented and your eyes widened. Your heart started to beat a little quicker. How long had he been watching your stream?

“It’s bad to watch someone’s stream without telling them,” you replied, making a show of pouting for the camera.

He laughed a little. “What can I say, I’m a bad guy,” he said, singing the last words. You laughed at the sudden Billie Eilish.

“Guys, either play another game, or get a room,” Felix interrupted. You blushed a little and rolled your eyes, the chat going crazy from the corner of your eye.

“And that’s my cue to exit,” you said, yawning. “Bye guys, have a good night!” You wished everyone and your chat goodnight before closing the stream and leaning back in your chat. You couldn’t believe Corpse had been watching you. You hadn’t said anything too incriminating, but still.

You prepared for bed, settling back into the softness of your pillows as you grabbed your phone - a terrible habit you really needed to stop.

Corpse: Can I call you?

You gulped at the message that appeared on your screen, a gnawing feeling of nervous clung to your throat as you typed yes. His name came up almost instantaneously and your hand shook as you pressed to accept the call.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even while your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“It was nice playing with you again,” he commented.

You sat up a little as you held the phone against your ear. “Did you call me to tell me that?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

You sighed a little. “Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy, sorry - “

“You’re lying to me and I don’t know why,” he replied. You had never heard his voice like that before; so angry and hurt. You tapped your foot against your mattress as you thought what to say.

“I -”

“Did I do something?” he asked. You had been so selfish; blocking him out to avoid being hurt, but you hadn’t thought about his feelings. He was more popular than you were, you had assumed he would be fine, that he wouldn’t care if you were around or not.

“No, you didn’t do anything, I swear -”

“Then what? Because I thought we were friends, close friends and then suddenly you pretty much disappear. But you’re still streaming with other people. It’s pretty shitty of you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and looked up, the sting of tears threatening to fall. “It was really shitty of me, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” he asked. “Please just tell me.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to say,” you replied softly.

“What do you want to say?”

You blinked, the anticipation of unspoken words caught in your throat, making it hard to swallow. The taste of them was bitter on your tongue. “I...I have feelings for you.”

There. You had said it. There was no taking it back now, and you felt like your heart was about to shatter with every single second of silence that passed. You could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”

You bit your lip, taking in the meaning of the question he had asked. It wasn’t something you had thought of, you hadn’t conceptualised your feelings for him, not put them in a box labelled love or anything. “I don’t know. I feel something for you. And it kinda sucks being your friend and having those feelings. So I pulled away.”

“Why does it suck?”

You laughed bitterly. “Why wouldn’t it? Feeling something for someone that doesn’t feel the same is fucking shitty.”

“I asked you to flirt with me YN -”

“Yeah, for fun,” you interrupted.

“No, I said for fun, but really I just wanted you to,” he replied. “I feel something for you too. How could I not? Has anything I’ve ever said to you sounded like it was just for fun?” You smiled at his response, your heart no longer on the fit of breaking, but suddenly doing flips and soaring through your chest, radiating warmth through your body.

“Oh,” you said, your brain was overloaded with thoughts, and was apparently no longer capable of coherent sentences.

“Oh? That’s a great response, thanks,” he teased, but you could tell he was smiling as he spoke.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, I don’t really know what to say honestly,” you replied.

“Well, baby, how about you say yes to a date?” he asked.

“Yes.”

[shai-manahan]

Hollowed Minds Progress Update 5/14/22

Hi! I was hesitating to make a progress update this week at first, but even with all the stuff that’s been happening, I was reminded that I’ll eventually have to keep going. So yes, I’m here. I’ll have to be honest, though. I only managed to write around 1,000 words in Jade’s route lmao. So instead, I’ll be saying here what I plan to do next week!

Write as much as I can for Jade’s route in Chapter 1, with the goal of finishing it by the end of the week.

Fixing some sentence structures in both the Prologue and Chapter 1 that I find too long or awkward. (If you have observed specific sections for this, do inform me!)

Finish Alonzo’s prompt (this was meant to be posted this week, but idk, Alonzo’s background as a character hit too deep for me given the current situation in our country.)

I’ll start making character profiles! Don’t expect much because I’m bad at making anything look classy haha

Okay, this is something I’d like to ask you all. If I start adding exclusive content on my ko-fi, would anyone be willing to subscribe for that? or is it a nah? I don’t want to start up a patreon until Chapter 2 is ready (plus I’m not even sure with what tiers I want), but the money I can get from ko-fi will certainly help a lot. Will begin adding commission slots soon, too!

Aside from these, can I request you all to send me asks about the story or characters? Or just some feedback/opinion. I still have a few I haven’t answered yet, but as much as I want to focus on writing alone, I’ll need some breathing room from politics on this blog (to help me recover mentally, though I might still post philippines-related stuff when I believe it’s needed), so I’d love to answer some HM-related asks!!

Anyway, happy weekend! I just have a short message for my fellow Filipinos doing their best to keep holding onto hope right now! Under the cut!

So yeah.

I’m not gonna lie. I bawled my eyes out countless times this week. There were times when I thought I was okay, then I’d just cry out of nowhere all of a sudden like a child lmao (just cried earlier before writing this post). Never have I been that emotional my whole life ever since I lost someone important to me, and I suppose that tells a lot. It felt like I lost all hope, because seriously, seeing the elections results was like a nightmare. I have my own personal reasons why I didn’t want to see the Marcos family back in power, but I believe we can all agree that it’s a very bad thing, especially now that they’re starting to attempt rewriting the past.

We can’t deny the fact that the next years will be challenging. We might cry a whole lot more. We might suffer. But when the Angat Buhay NGO was announced last night, I had the realization that we’re not alone. Our voice will be heard. It will be so damn hard to fight against the current, but there will be leaders who will remain alongside the public.

In turn, we should keep fighting for those who cannot fight for themselves. The farmers, the fishermen, the indigenous, and those others who for several years felt that they’re being continuously ignored.

It’s okay to cry (I know I’ll still keep doing that), and it’s okay to be afraid, but don’t forget to get up. A lot of martial law victims are watching the country right now, watching us. We can’t let them regret what they’ve done for our generation, can we?

I, for one, almost gave up writing Hollowed Minds altogether this week. I didn’t want to risk my safety writing something that might not even change anything at all. I didn’t want to endanger my family for the content I’m about to include (suffice to say I never really thought the Marcoses will return to a position of power). But at the same time, I didn’t want to let my ancestors down all because I was afraid. This is what I’ve always stood up for, and that’s what I’m aware I should keep doing

And this is who we really are, you know? Over several generations, after several wars and revolutions, our heroes faced their challenges head on. So while you shouldn’t let anger take over your compassion, keep fighting!

Sama-sama tayong lalaban! 

That was not short at all, sorry for that, but anyway, I tend to listen to Rosas every time I’m feeling way too down. I’m linking them here so listen if you need some uplifting, though tbh I might just be that weird to rely on one song to get my hopes up lmao. Just choose between the two versions I love the most, whichever you fancy (don’t laugh at me). 

(All-Star/Musician version, Leni-Kiko Music Video version)

Take care and I love you all! I’ll just be here if you need me!

[cafeinthemoon]

Portrait of a Monk - Chapter X

Chapter 10/?

Wordcount 3,4k

Title Much More Than This

Fandom Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing Geto Suguru X reader

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 🖤

Warning (s): Humor and suggestive themes

Tagging @darling-imobsessed @wasurenagusaa

(if you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just send an ask or a message, or leave a comment on this chapter 😉)

A.N.: So I've been sensing a lack of humor in this story and took the chance to fix this with this chapter haha I just wanna say that humor is not my strongest trait when it comes to writing, but I like to include lighter stuff among darker themes in my stories to create balance, so I hope you don't mind 😅

I also thought of using that other GIF when Geto is showing that creepy smile (you know which one) but it would be too much so have the usual one lmao

Though you just had the company of Nanae and Makoto for a few days, it already became hard to imagine your daily routine without them. The girls would spend most of their time with you, learning about their new home and working with good disposition, sometimes making comparisons between how things were managed there and how things used to be in their old house, but always trusting your guidance and asking for help when necessary.

You took this time to observe them and thought it was impressive that those two were really blood relatives, so different they were from each other.

You found out that, unlike the appearances suggested, Makoto was younger than her cousin, and since you were actually two years older than Nanae, that made her the youngest of you three. Soon, it became clear that Makoto’s sense of responsibility and attachment to formalities weren’t just a persona, but an essential part of herself, a sort of response mechanism developed after a long time living among elderly people who would underestimate her capacities and her youth; such circumstances gave her an anxious temper that could cloud her notable qualities, so you took to yourself the mission of helping her to overcome it.

Nanae, on her turn, didn’t show any tendency for anxiety or self-doubt, but would go for the opposite: despite being familiar with the same etiquette rules followed by her cousin, she would never miss a chance to ignore them if she found it justifiable, doing and saying things that would certainly lead her to be disciplined by the masters in any other temple where she wouldn’t be your assistant. However, all of this was done in the form of jokes born from rough honesty, never really crossing the line of respect; and among one sour comment and other, the girl would always do her best to be useful and obey you.

With them, too, you sensed that your interactions with the other people in the house improved in an impossible way if you were still by yourself: while Makoto was gentle and enjoyed helping others, attracting attentions everywhere she passed, Nanae was assertive and funny, opening her way among people, and each of them, in their own manners, became a bridge between the other children and yourself. Having them with you would also neutralize your master’s concerns, who was now sure that you were in good hands.

The girls’ abilities, alongside with the fact that they were quick to learn new things, soon showed you the reason why they were chosen to be your assistants: with Makoto’s shikigami in action, it was easier to pay attention to the details and to recover missing objects, and Nanae’s telekinetic powers brought a great advantage during heavy tasks. Most of the problems you still haven’t had the time to take on your own were now solved, and you wouldn’t feel so tired at the end of the day.

You sensed that it wouldn’t take so long until you could delegate your place to them and fully accept the one that was going to be assigned to you.

***

When you informed the girls about the ceremony’s day, they were happy, but wouldn’t hesitate in expressing their worries among sincere congratulations, urging you to focus on doing your preparations and leaving the other things with them.

- You’re unbelievable, y/n-san! – Nanae commented at evening, when you three were reunited in their room – How can you stay so calm when you have just a few days to take care of everything?

With a smile, you thanked her for her preoccupations but replied that losing your mind over it wouldn’t help at all.

- I might look calm, but If I said I am not nervous, I’d be lying – you admitted – For now, what I can say is that I’m doing what’s on my reach, and that’s enough for me. Besides, I’m not working alone. Geto-sama is taking care of the most complex aspects of it. And I trust him entirely.

Makoto, sitting on a chair and occupied with an embroidery, chuckled.

- But your patience is really admirable, y/n-san. If I was in your place, I would be desperate by now.

You thought about their observations for a moment. Their validity couldn’t be discarded, but maybe their high expectations were the source of such worries.

And you said that to them.

- I suppose that you two are worried because of the kind of ceremony you have in mind.

They stared at you at the same time.

- How so? – Nanae questioned.

- If we were going to make something impressive, pompous, we should have started our plans several months ago, this I know for certain – and with a note of relief in your tone – But that’s not the case. In the next day after the proposal, I came to Geto-sama and asked, well, begged him to keep the extravagances out of it, or else I would get so scared that I wouldn’t be able to show up. Fortunately, he listened to me and promised me we were going to have a simple, quick ceremony. A second reason for this, maybe the most important one, is the fact that the coldest seasons are already at our door, and you know what it means. We cannot just waste time with vanities. Right now, my main worries are about transitioning from my old routine to my new one, deciding what I must keep under my responsibility and what I must pass to you. Speaking of responsibilities…

Uniting your hands under your chin, you left the phrase unfinished. You were yet to decide how to bring out a certain subject that has been in your mind for days: what should you wear when for the great day… well, for the great night?

The girls were curious.

- Yes…? – Nanae insisted.

- What’s going on, y/n-san? – Makoto completed.

You stared at them and reunited all the courage you had.

- I’m going to need your help in something. And I’m counting on your discretion.

They frowned. It wasn’t usual for them to see you acting so mysterious.

But you didn’t let them in the dark for too long.

- Do you know the young women who are responsible for buying our clothes?

Both girls nodded.

- So… they will go out in three days in order to buy more – you informed – And I want you to go with them and bring something for me.

- Something? – Makoto asked – What kind of thing you need us to get for you?

You bit your lip, feeling your cheeks burning.

- Night gowns... For my wedding night.

Nanae and Makoto opened their mouths, then closed them again. The first one burst out laughing and the second covered her mouth, surprised. So, you weren’t so reckless about the whole thing as they first supposed – you were just too reserved about it, and expected the same from them.

Unsurprisingly, Nanae was the first to express such thought.

- You are just like our master, y/n-san – she waved her palms in a funny gesture – Full of surprises!

- But this time, he will be the surprised one – Makoto blinked at you and giggled.

You took a breath of relief. Their reactions were not as dramatic as you were fearing, so now you were sure you could rely on them.

Trying to control your own laughter, you asked them to calm down.

- Okay, listen. The girls know good shops where you can get them. You just need to ask them for advice. If they question you, please, don’t tell them anything. Just say that you prefer not to count on other people to buy this type of thing, at least for now, considering that you’ve been here for just a few days.

Makoto, as expected, was interested in the practical aspects of the mission.

- But why do you want us to buy more than one, y/n-san? And how many you need?

- I want to choose what makes me more comfortable – you explained – And I know you two have different tastes, so this will give me curious options. About the quantity, I will leave it up to you, but I would recommend just two or three.

Once in a week, on its first day, your master used to leave a quantity of money with you, for yourself (though you would almost never go outside the temple) and for general emergencies. He doubled this quantity when your assistants came to live there and you had the good habit of saving money, so it wouldn’t cause any problem if you gave your part to them that time.

The girls, who were aware about this system, agreed with the plan and promised you to keep it between themselves. Only after that you went to your own room and took the amount of money you imagined to be necessary for the task.

***

Nanae and Makoto left in the morning alongside the other girls just as you instructed them.

You, on your side, focused on your usual tasks and tried not to look anxious while they were away, but you weren’t sure of your success in this sense. The moment you entered your master’s office to finish a work from the previous day, you were received by his sharp pair of eyes that observed you from behind his table and a curious greeting.

- It seems that my y/n-chan is no longer used to work all by herself – Geto-sama commented, folding some papers before him – Is your friends’ absence bothering you this much, my dear?

Your eyes widened a bit and you gave him an embarrassed smile. As much as it wasn’t easy for you to lie, you haven’t any skills to hide anything. Fortunately, you’ve already thought of a reply in case you were questioned, which was certain to happen if you really knew the master you served.

- Thank you for asking, but it’s not really bothering me, Geto-sama – you slid the door closed behind you – The girls just went out to buy some things for themselves, and it’s a bit silent without them, not to say boring.

What you had in response was a quiet “I see” and a calm smile that lingered on his lips for a moment after he returned his attentions to the papers. You didn’t make efforts to resume the conversation or to bring out a new subject, choosing to finish your work as soon as you could and leave. You were aware that such attitude would only wake suspicions, but even that was better than staying under the risk of a new interrogation, for you knew that Geto wasn’t convinced. You were up to something, and who you were trying to deceive?

You left the office without a word and spent the next minutes chuckling with yourself while you worked. Truth was that you felt an urge to tell him everything, but the surprise was a necessary factor, or else the occasion wouldn’t seem as special, so you controlled your tongue. You started imagining what his reaction would be in case you revealed the true objective of the girls’ little outing. Would he be shocked? Content? Curious? Would he look at you with different eyes? Your face burned with the possibility.

You shook the sensation away and focused on finishing the tasks you still had before you, from time to time glancing at the clock to see if the girls were already on their way back.

***

- We brought some pretty things for you to choose, y/n-san – Makoto was saying while you closed the room’s door and approached her bed, where she and her cousin have been unpacking the things they bought.

The girls just came back and Nanae was sent to call you to their room to check what they found. You were relieved to see them back and to know that things worked as you planned: they went to the indicated shops and no one questioned the nature of their acquisitions.

- Apart from one or two people who looked at us with suspicion, no one seemed to mind our presence – Nanae told you – In the end, everything went better than we expected. Now come, y/n-san! You have to see the beauties we got for you!

The blonde girl grabbed your wrist and dragged you across the corridor, only stopping when you reached her shared room where Makoto was already waiting. You sat with this latter on the bed, having the delicate pieces between you, and Nanae took her place on the carpet.

You let an “Oh” escape when you took the first gown in your hands: it was indeed a pretty thing, all satin and lace in a creamy, rosy shade, and long enough to cover your ankles. This one, you thought, must have been chosen by Makoto.

- You liked this one, y/n-san? – she asked, as to confirm it.

- Yes – you smiled, holding it in front of you – But I think the length is a bit too much, even for me.

- Oh… really?

You made an affirmative gesture with your head.

- I told you – Nanae said, leaning her chin on her hand and raising her eyebrows – You better choose something a bit shorter.

Makoto didn’t reply. She tried not to look disappointed for having her choice rejected so soon, but you noticed her eyes lowering to the other pieces.

You grabbed the gown and stood up.

- Still, I’m going to give it a try!

And without waiting for a response, you went to the space behind a screen with floral patterns on the edge of the room. Soon you came back laughing, and once the girls looked at you, they understood why: the gown’s edges were touching the floor.

- If I was ten centimeters taller, I’m sure I’d look good in this one, Makoto-san! – you commented, holding the lower part of the clothing to keep the lacy edge away from your feet – So please, don’t be sad!

They laughed hard at this and you asked for a second gown. This time, Nanae handed you one with her telekinesis: something of a silky, vibrant pink that look more like a summer short dress than a night gown, with a complex pattern of straps that you took a moment to understand how they worked. You couldn’t help gasping once it landed in your hands, and Nanae laughed at your shocked expression.

- I knew you would react like this, so I had to bring this one! Now come on, don’t let us die in curiosity! – she encouraged you – Go try it!

You glanced at Makoto and noticed that even she was eager to see how that gown would look in you. With a sigh, you went behind the screen.

You only needed a second to sense that, just as the first gown, this second one has its own weak point, but in an opposite sense: its edge was too short for your taste, barely covering your thighs; it also had a prominent cleavage that exposed the entire valley of your breasts, and an even deeper cut was seen from behind, showing all your back. The lack of fabric in it was such that you felt cold despite the efficacy of the house’s heat system.

When you showed the result to your assistants, their wide eyes and rosy cheeks embarrassed you more than the clothing itself. Makoto stood in silence, increasing the discomfort, but Nanae stood up and whistled.

- It seems that I just saved your wedding night from boredom – crossing her arms, she congratulated herself with a cheering expression – You can thank me later, y/n-san!

You looked down at your own body wrapped in that gown – if you could call it a gown – and bit your lip.

- If I wore this in front of him, I would feel like a…

- Like a specialist? – Nanae smirked.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and stared at her.

- Like a clown.

The girl opened her mouth in a mixture of surprise and offense while Makoto laughed hysterically on the bed. Her cousin turned to her, irritated, and an argument was about to start, but they gave up on it when they noticed you were laughing too.

- What’s so funny, y/n-san? – Makoto asked.

You calmed down before replying.

- Nothing – you wiped the tears from your cheeks, still chuckling – I’m just happy that you two are with me in this. I still haven’t told you that, but since I’ve spent most of my life lacking proper control over my innate technique, I am unsure of many things about my past. Even some parts of my adult years are a mystery to me. Because of this, I can’t say if I’ve ever dated before or if this will be my first night at all. But I want to believe it is, and this makes me nervous, even though it will happen with someone I love. But you are helping me not to overthink this and see things as I should: with joy – and opening your largest smile – Thank you for this, girls! Thank you for being my friends!

They were about to reply when a knock on the door interrupted your talking. Makoto turned to the door and thought of standing up to answer it, but Nanae, already on her feet, was faster: she went to slid it open and you ran back to your hideout behind the screen.

When the visitor was revealed, you three held your breath.

- Geto-sama! Ah… – Nanae stuttered in front of him.

Your master, a head taller than her, raised an eyebrow at her surprise, then passed his eyes through the room’s entire extension until they met you, stretching your neck out of the screen.

- Y/n-chan, I...

You couldn’t find out what he was going to say, because his next words were cut by Nanae, still shocked with his sudden arrival.

- My Lord, you… You need to get out! – and scared by her own words – Now!

Geto stared at her with an “Eh?” that was followed by a prolonged one from Makoto and you, then a heavy silence, only broken by your master’s attempt to end the embarrassment with his gentle manners.

- What are you up to, girls? – he asked with humor – What is it that I cannot see?

Nanae tried to explain and apologize, but her attempts to fix the situation made it worse.

- It’s nothing really serious, my Lord, but you can’t stay here for now…

With a clumsy hand, Makoto pushed a gown near her spot behind herself. The gesture didn’t escape Geto’s attention.

- Are you okay, Makoto-san?

- Oh… yes, my Lord – she put her hands over her lap with modesty; and glancing at the gown behind her – We were just organizing some personal belongings, including some underwear… My cousin just didn’t want you to see it. It would be weird... to say the least.

In the end, Makoto had the better response among you, something that was unanimously recognized and contributed to relieve the tension.

You took the opportunity to change the subject, taking your master’s attention to yourself.

- So… What were you going to say, Geto-sama? Do you need my services?

His eyes went straight to your figure, partially covered by the screen, and glued on it with such intensity that it made Nanae, who was still standing in front of him, step out of his way. However, instead of entering the place he kept looking at you from the doorway, your shy hand holding the screen’s edge below your face, a small feet, followed by a naked leg pointing out of the artificial wall’s protection, indicating the reason you were hiding.

But none of this had influence in the polite tone in which he replied to you.

- Yes, actually – he smiled; then, looking at the other girls too – But since you three are so busy, you can look for me as soon as you finish here. I will be in my office.

- Yes, my Lord – you nodded – I will be there soon.

- Alright, then. I’ll wait.

With a sweet wave of his hand, he said goodbye to you. You couldn’t speak for your assistants, but it didn’t escape you the subtle sign that was sent through his eyes, that all of you were terrible liars.

Not only this, but there was a second, explicit message that you prayed to be the only one to read in those purple globes.

What is it with this embarrassment, y/n-chan? I’ve seen so much more than this before, and I do not mind seeing it again.

[randomshyperson]

Seeing u getting many requests there, that's really cool you deserve it (though I hope it doesn't overwhelm u or smth). May I request smth? A WandaXReader where they're always arguing and being sarcastic to eachother but it's just sexual tension. Maybe smth with the lines "why are u laghing did I tell a joke?" "why don't u look inside my head and find out". I think it would be pretty cool. It doesn't have to be smutt though, only If u fell like it (also a dom!reader would be nice). Thank you!

Hello Anon! Hope you’re doing fine! 

Sorry this took long. It was really hard to write actually, because I don't feel anger towards Wanda and thinking about fighting with her was really weird haha But I hope you like this. 

Attraction and Reaction / / AO3 

Warnings: 18+, Smut, language.

Words>  2.415k (One)

Part Two Here

It was no secret on the Avengers team that you and Wanda did not have the best of relationships. 

There were numerous warnings from Steve and Tony, and even Natasha, due to the number of arguments and disagreements that took place. You were sure that no action was taken just because you two function well on the battlefield, even if you don't get along off it.

At this moment, for example, you were in a meeting with the rest of the team about the next Avengers mission, but you weren't really paying attention as you scribbled on your notepad. And then your cell phone vibrated, and you pulled it out of your pocket to check it.

- Can you pay attention, Y/N? - Tony asked, and you looked away from the notification of a message from Carol to look at him. But before you could answer, Wanda muttered with irony:

- Typical.

You blinked, feeling a familiar irritation fill your entire body.

- Is there anything you wanna say to me, Maximoff?

- Just for you to fuck off.

You were going to hit back with a angry response, but the team let out a loud impatient grumble.

- Don't even start! - Tony ordered with a serious expression. - I need to go over all this, you can kill yourselves after the presentation.

- No one is going to kill anyone. - said Steve, and you giggled. - Just continue the presentation, please.

Tony rolled his eyes and resumed the presentation. You let out an impatient sigh and tried to pay attention. Fortunately it wasn't much longer before Tony finished. As the members began to get up, Steve signaled for you and Wanda to stay in the room, and you grumbled as you sat back down, throwing your feet up on the table.

- Girls, this can't go on any longer. - Steve said in a serious tone.

- I don't know what you are talking about. - You mock with your arms crossed. Steve doesn't laugh.

- I'm not joking. - He warns. - You need to work out your differences.

- Things would be easier if Y/N wasn't such an arrogant jerk. - Wanda says, and you let out a wry exclamation.

- If Wanda wasn't completely mental and stubborn it would also be easier for us to get along.

Wanda turns in her chair to look at you, her expression of anger.

- Oh, I'm the unstable one? Remind me who is known to lose her head around here?

You roll your eyes impatiently, but before you can respond Steve shouts.

- Stop it, you two, that's enough. - He says. - You are suspended from the next mission.

- Excuse me? - you exclaim looking at him.

- Until this conflict is resolved, you will work together. - He clarifies and you let out a nervous laugh, frowning. - You will be team partners, and you will learn to get along. That is my final decision. Now you can go.

You get up from the table in annoyance, and hurry to leave, with Wanda right behind you. As you stand in the hallway toward your rooms, she shouts:

- This is all your fault! You have to talk shit all the time, don't you?

You let out a wry laugh as you stop walking and turn toward her.

- You're so annoying. - You grumble with your hands in your pockets. - I can't believe I'm going to be stuck with you.

Wanda lets out an annoyed sigh, and you notice her reddened eyes and the magic slipping from her fingers, and you look at her in defiance.

- Come on, do it. - You tease. - I dare you.

- Girls! - shouted Natasha as she turned into the hallway, and quickly got between you and Wanda, putting her hands on her shoulders to calm her down. Wanda blinked in confusion, lowered her hands and her eyes returned to normal. - You two have lost your minds, haven't you?

Your heart was racing, and you thought it was the adrenaline. Licking your lips, you let out a laugh and gave Wanda one last angry glance before turning and heading for your room.

//-//

Steve was really serious about the suspension. The vast majority of the team was out of the tower heading to some city in Europe, and you and Wanda were basically grounded in the tower while Steve left Bucky checking up on you two.

At that point Bucky assigned you and Wanda to train together, and you didn't understand how the best alternative to resolve conflicts was to make you fight, but you didn't question it.

- I want a clean fight, girls. - He said sitting on the stool beside the mat, while you and Wanda climbed into the ring from opposite sides.

- Tell it to the little witch, there. - You retort, looking at Wanda, and she frowns at you.

- You're really going to piss me off before you fight me, aren't you?

You roll your eyes, getting into a defensive position. Bucky lets out a chuckle, getting to his feet. He picks up two sticks, and hands one to each of you.

- You two need to practice using bladed weapons. - He explains and sits back down.

And then you advance on Wanda, who narrowly defends your blow. She counterattacks with the stick towards your legs, but you jump and throw the stick at her, who ducks quickly. You take two steps back, preparing to attack, and as you launch a series of quick strikes which Wanda fights back, you manage to trip her, and watch with a wry smile as she falls backwards onto the ground looking extremely annoyed. But your smile dies when Wanda punches the tatami and her magic escapes, throwing you away.

You fall backwards, feeling your whole body boiling with rage, and get up quickly, but Bucky has already stepped onto the tatami and gets in front of you before you can reach Wanda, who has also gotten up.

- Let's just calm down, okay? - He says seriously, looking between the two of you. - A five-minute break? And no magic next time.

Wanda rolls her eyes, turning to leave the mat. You start to take off your training gloves. 

- What's the matter with you two? - Bucky asks looking really curious. You roll your eyes impatiently.

- I don't want to argue about this again.

Bucky lets out a sigh, leaving the ring. You look around, and notice that Wanda is in the corner of the room, drinking some water. She is sweaty, and her hair is disheveled, and you look down at her exposed collarbone, feeling your throat suddenly dry. You imagine yourself kissing and biting the exposed skin as she moans your name. You blink, trying to push these thoughts away, and then step out of the ring.

- I don't want to practice anymore. - You announce it before you leave. You think Bucky says something, but you have already left the academy.

//-//

Bucky decided to try a different tactic to improve your relationship with Wanda. He described it as a trust technique, which was something he and Sam tried for a while. 

So here you were in one of the empty rooms of the complex, sitting in a chair facing Wanda. Both of you had your arms crossed.

- Let's get started girls. - announced Bucky, standing in front of you. - I'm going to ask you some simple questions, and I need you to answer them honestly.

- Yes, sir. - You retort with mild irony, but Bucky doesn't mind.

- Y/N can you tell me something you like about Wanda?

You let out a dry laugh. But seeing Bucky's expression, you realize that you are going to have to answer.

- I like it when she shuts up. - You retort, and Wanda lets out an annoyed sigh.

- And I like it when you are not around.

- And I...

- Enough! - Bucky interrupts angrily, pressing his fingers to his forehead. - Let's try something else then. I have brought you a list of questions.

- This should be interesting. - You sneer as Bucky walks up to the living room table behind the papers.

When he reaches for the papers, he decides to stand against the table, looking at you.

- Well, Wanda. Tell me, what behavior do you think Y/N should change towards you?

Wanda smiles wryly.

- I wish she wouldn't talk to me.

- That's fine with me. - You retort grumpily, and Wanda looks at you angrily. Bucky sighs with impatience.

- I am serious. - He says. - Do you even know when this conflict started?

You laugh.

- I'm not the one who brought the enemy back to the team. - You point to the time when Wanda fought alongside Ultron.

- Seriously? - She replies incredulously. - Of course you had to bring that back.

- They are just facts.

- The only fact here is that you are an arrogant jerk...

- You just know two adjectives, don't you? - You mockingly interrupt.

- Oh, I have other adjectives for you, yes. - She retorts with irritation, starting to list them on her fingers as she speaks. - Immature, rude, selfish...

- Don't forget hot. - You hit back with a smile, and Wanda rolls her eyes, but before she can continue, Bucky gets up from the table.

- Okay, you guys are going to do the silent exercise. - he says. - Five minutes looking into each other's eyes. Now.

- You're kidding, right? - You retort incredulously, but Bucky's expression is serious.

- Now. - He repeats and you roll your eyes before looking away from him to Wanda.

It's weird, especially in the first few seconds. She looks at you with an impassive face, and you look at her with the same expression. And then you realize that she has very beautiful eyes. Has it been five minutes, you think, starting to feel strange. You hold your gaze, but your thoughts start to wander, and you imagine that you want to leave. But looking at Wanda like this, your thoughts begin to take a completely different turn.

You imagine Wanda sweating like that day at practice, only this time she's with her legs spread wide while you fuck her on your bed. Then you imagine her spreading her legs for you now still sitting in her chair, while you kneel down and touch her until she loses all control.

You also imagine pushing her down on the table, fucking her until her scream. 

And then a noise startles you, and you blink in confusion, looking away.

- Damn, sorry. - Says Bucky looking at his cell phone that is ringing and vibrating in his hand. - It's Steve. It might be about the mission. Try not to kill yourselves while I talk to him.

Bucky rushes to answer it and out of the room, and you let out an impatient sigh. Getting up, you walk over to the desk, looking at the notes he has made.

- Couple therapy techniques. - You read aloud with irony. - This is a joke.

- We wouldn't be here if you weren't such a pain in the ass.

- Yes, it's all my fault. - You retort, throwing the papers on the table and leaning on the furniture. 

- Are you implying that this is my fault? - she replies angrily. - You're the one who has hated me for no reason since I came here!

You blink in surprise and then you're laughing. You never hated Wanda. Your laughter seemed to irritate her even more because she stood up and assumed an aggressive posture.

- Did I tell a joke, by any chance? Why the hell are you laughing? - She asked irritated, you bit your lips, she was hot as hell with her jaw clenched.

- Why don't you take a peek into my mind and find out? - You challenged, looking at her with intensity.

Wanda looked slightly surprised, but didn't flinch. And then her eyes turned red, and you showed her exactly how you felt about her.

You moving towards her, grabbing her around the waist and kissing her mouth firmly. Your tongue in her mouth, as she moaned against you. Your hands going down a little, steadying her before lifting her onto your lap to carry her to the table and have her sit down without breaking the kiss. 

Once seated, you would move your kisses down her collarbone, sucking on her skin until it was red and sensitive, while your hands went inside her shirt at the waist and up to her breasts. You imagined Wanda moaning in your ear, asking you to touch her. And then you would. 

Guiding your hand up her thigh, you would lift her skirt, running your fingers along her skin, until you touched her where she wanted you to. And you would kiss her hard when you reached it, hard enough to make her lose her direction. 

You would start by superficially caressing her through her panties, until she began to tremble and push her hips against you.

Then you would push the panties aside, and penetrate her all at once, feeling her hot and wet in your fingers, while she moaned loudly against you.

You would bring your hand to her hair, pulling gently to expose the collarbone you wanted so badly to kiss, while Wanda would get overwhelmed with such intense satisfaction. You would push your fingers into her until her walls tightened around you, and she began to spasm, whimpering."

Wanda stumbled backwards with a surprised exclamation and a breathless sigh, the sound of the door opening and Bucky entering the room woke her up. You licked your lips, feeling extremely turned on by the playfulness.

- I see you didn't kill yourselves while I was away. - said the soldier, putting away his cell phone. Then he looked up at you two, and frowned. - Is everything okay?

You cleared your throat, trying to smile. But then Wanda spoke first.

- Everything's great. - Her voice came out a little hoarse. - We talked a little while you were out there. - She lies, but you cover it up. - Y/N and I are going out together for a while, to try to resolve this situation without involving the team.

Bucky looks really surprised, and you bite your lip to keep from laughing, and then Bucky smiles.

- Wow, that's great news! - He says - I am proud of you guys.

- Can we go now? - Wanda asks looking anxious. 

- Sure, go ahead. - He says, still smiling. Wanda looks at you and the gleam in her eyes makes your stomach turn with anxiety.

You walk silently out of the hallway, and there is such tension in the air that it is hard to breathe.

About five minutes later, you are in your room, settling your differences in the best possible way.