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scarfacemarston · 2 months ago

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Cullen Rutherford Fluff Alphabet

Note: I sometimes say “you” because it’s shorter than typing inquisitor constantly. This is also Gender Neutral. Please think about reblogging or at least leaving a like! This sort of thing takes time to create. Feel free to request more Cullen!

A - Affection (how do they show affection to their s/o)

Cullen is new to love. Outside of his crush on Amell/Surana, he did not have any romantic feelings towards anyone. Love was terrifying but exhilarating at the same time. It was something entirely new and engaging and something that he would put his all into. He is very physically affectionate and primarily shows his love through embraces, kisses, and cuddling. However, he also allows the Inquisitor to vent or cry as much as they need to. He will also insist on shouldering whatever burdens they are struggling with, whether that's completing extra paperwork, scaring off those who want to bother them, or leaving behind little treats to cheer them up; he can do it all.

B - Best Friend (what are they like as a best friend?)

Cullen doesn't really consider himself to have many friends until Inquisition. In fact, the last time he had friends was Kinloch Hold before it went to hell. (However, this was only with his fellow templars.) Inquisition is when he meets Cassandra, Leliana, Josephine, and the rest of the crew. It took time for him to see them more than colleagues, but they found a devoted, loyal, encouraging friend in the former templar who continued on even when he was at his worst. As time passed, he began displaying a more relaxed side to him and joined in game nights and his time with people like Dorian.

C - Cuddling (do they like to cuddle? And how would they do it?)

Oh, he loves to cuddle. His family was very physically affectionate, but that quit once he joined the Templars. He didn't know how touch starved he was until he brushed hands with the Inquisitor and even more so when he held them for the first time. He hadn't allowed anyone near him since the fall of Kinloch Hold. Now, he can't sleep properly without holding the Inquisitor. Even if he can't sleep, his mind and body feel at peace in a way they never could before.

D - Domestic (do they want to settle down? How good are they at cooking and cleaning)

His childhood dream was to be a templar. He never thought of any sort of domesticity. Templars rarely settled down. He never viewed himself as settling down during Inquisition, either, until he fell in love with the Inquisitor and only then did he dare to dream. After seeing what Mia has, he couldn't help but want the same. He wants a spouse, kids (or to be a busy uncle), and, of course, as many malbari as he can manage.

Cullen is not an amazing cook, but he's functional. Can he make basics like stew? Sure. Could he grill something? Sure. It's straightforward. Porridge isn't difficult either, but he's more likely to live off of rations. During Inquisition Inquisition, Cassandra made sure he ate at least twice a day. He is very tidy, but he has been known to be a disorganized type of organized, too.

E - Ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

We've actually seen this in the game! He tries to maintain an air of professionalism and keep it with a bit of distance. He will still try to maintain his professionalism if you break his heart, but the hurt might bleed out. He tries to use logic and put some distance between the two of you. However, it also depends on the circumstances. He can be very gentle about it and very apologetic.

F - Fiancé (how do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Again, Cullen didn't have any ideas of romantic commitment until they met the Inquisitor. We know he's incredibly devoted to the templars and the Inquisition, so he has no issue with commitment. However, once he fell in love, he fell in love hard. I don't think it took that long for him to start fantasizing about marriage, even if he was so sure it would never happen. Cullen would wait for the right moment, but it doesn't necessarily need to be planned, just that it feels right like we see in the game.

G - Gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

We've seen that Cullen can be incredibly tender and gentle. He especially appreciates having the ability and the safety to do so, emotionally and physically. He isn't ashamed of showing his gentle side - he cares for you more than anyone or anything else - but that doesn't mean he won't glare someone like Jim down if he tries to interrupt. The more comfortable he gets with you, the more likely you will see him become even more gentle. He is far more soft-spoken and sometimes even delicate in the way he touches you.

H: Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

His hugs are bone-crushing but one of the safest feelings in the world. Some of his hugs can be quite gentle and tender like he's afraid he'll hurt you, but usually, they are more solid, as if he wants to cement you there.

I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Cullen feels it quickly, but that doesn't mean he'll say it. When he falls, he falls hard. He doesn't mean to, it's only happened once before and went horribly wrong. He'll try to deny it to himself, also going through self-doubt, thinking he isn't good or deserving enough to have that happiness, but he will sometimes pine for the Inquisitor. Once the Inquisitor is in a relationship with him, he is anxious about when to reveal his feelings, but he will do so in a quiet moment, like cuddling together in bed. However, he'd much prefer his partner be the one to say it first.

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

As alluded to before, he has a lot of self-doubt and self-loathing as he questions whether he deserves love after everything he has done. Early in the relationship, it would hurt, but he would tell himself that you are making the right decision…but that doesn't mean he'll give up entirely. As he becomes more secure in the relationship, he is more likely to get jealous despite that security because he knows what the two of you have built. He is more likely to step in verbally or give some light PDA.

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you?)

He kisses many ways, but they tend to be either tender or passionate. There's not quite an in-between. Expect a lot of stolen kisses, especially if the two of you have or are busy. He loves kissing on the hand, wrist, neck, and behind the ear, anywhere he can.

L: Little Ones (How are they with kids?)

Cullen feels very awkward around children. He's never disliked them, and he was a good brother to his siblings. Some of the younger templars looked up to him during training. However, after becoming a templar, he sort of "lost" his ability to relate to children. He's kind but stiff around them. Sometimes, he could briefly imagine having a child or two of his own, but that was always a fleeting thought. It wasn't until meeting the Inquisitor and reconnecting with Mia that he truly wondered about having a child. He wants it, whether through birth or adoption, but he would never force the Inquisitor into anything.

M: Mornings (How are mornings spent with them?)

Cullen gets up early. He usually has his armour polished and on, training completed, and reports from the night before reviewed by 7:00 am. He often forgets to eat breakfast or munches on rations or jerky. Cassandra, Leliana, Josephine, and now the Inquisitor all make sure he eats breakfast.

You're a "bad" influence in that he wants to sleep in or stay in bed and cuddle longer. His new time to complete his routine is a whopping…..8:00 am. Since leaving the Inquisition together, he sleeps a bit later but still prefers to wake up early.

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

That man does not sleep. He just doesn't. It's like it's a foreign concept to him. However, it is not all workaholic tendencies. Sometimes, it's to avoid the nightmares he's had for well over a decade. Other times, the lyrium keeps him awake. Even when you pursue a romance with him, he struggles to stay in bed only because he can't shut his mind off, but a nice massage, cuddles, and or sex tends to quiet those thoughts. Otherwise, he's content watching over the Inquisitor.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Cullen is extremely private about himself. He reveals things incredibly slowly, but sometimes, his most personal moments come out at the most inopportune times when he doesn't have a choice but to reveal them, as seen with his lyrium addiction or his nightmares. These moments are incredibly frustrating to him, and he detests them when they happen. That's why, despite his discomfort, he is telling himself that he must be far more open and communicative so he has power over what to share, what not to share, and when to do so.

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Believe it or not, Cullen can be irritable and angry. Most of it is the lrium, but he holds everything inside of him until eventually, it comes out whether he wants it to not. Usually, it's a whole series of events that cause him to eventually snap, but it is possible for something triggering to cause him to explode or shut down.

However, he is incredibly patient in most situations, but he is not perfect. He will not tolerate many things, as seen with some of the more annoying chantry members in DAI.

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail in passing, or do they kind of forget? )

Cullen sometimes struggles with his memory due in part to the lyrium but more so because he has so much on his mind. However, he will make you a priority above all else. Unfortunately, he punishes himself if he forgets or gets something wrong. Overall, he commits everything he can to memory, and as his lyrium cravings subside, he is more clearly able to remember things. He wants to know everything you're willing to share, whether it's your birthday, favorite color, favorite food, best battle tactics, or favorite ways to turn you on.

R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It's a difficult memory for him, but the relief he felt when the Inquisitor revealed they still cared for him despite his lyrium addiction and his trauma. It's not the most romantic memory, but it is a meaningful one. More positively, he loves how he surprised you with that first kiss on the battlements… until Jim interrupted. The morning after he and the Inquisitor slept together was also dear to him.

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

We know and have seen how protective Cullen is. He is ready to give up his life at a moment's notice if needed, especially if it's for the Inquisitor. He was willing to leave the Inquisition because he felt he was a liability to it and the inquisitor. He is incredibly selfless and self-sacrificing. He's also not afraid to voice his opinion in defense of his partner. As for him, he doesn't really expect anything in return. However, he already thinks you protect him by looking out for his well-being, whether it's the lyrium, his anxiety, eating, sleeping, etc. He also greatly appreciates it if you speak up in defense of him for whatever reason, but he never expects it.

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, and gifts?)

After much worrying, he would fret about it and might turn to someone like Josephine for help or even Varric, Dorian, or Leliana. However, he is capable of giving gifts on his own, planning outings, as seen with the lake and giving his lucky coin to the Inquisitor. He definitely tries, but he's always worried he'll fuck it up somehow.

U: Ugly (What would be a bad habit of theirs?)

He does have a temper and when hurt, he can lash out. We've seen this when he threw his lyrium kit against the wall, nearly hitting the Inquisitor. However, he works very hard to keep control of it. His anxiety and self-doubt can also be a problem, but again, he tries to hide these feelings as best as he can.

As for an actual habit, his pacing and constant movement can be anxiety-inducing to some. His office has a pacing track on it.

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He knows he's handsome. He sees the way people look at him and treat him. He's not stupid. We know he styles his hair, but I think PART of that is due to some insecurity about his curls. Other than that, he focuses on the upkeep of his armor, but that is habit and perfectionism. Besides his hair, he doesn't spend much time on his appearance.

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would convince himself that he would. He never expected you to return his feelings, but he knows he would be crushed if you ever left him. He would respect your decision but doubt that he'd ever feel whole again as he'd be unlikely to trust himself with another partner.

X: Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

Cullen secretly has a sweet tooth, but he doesn't want anyone to know that. Still, he wouldn't mind being given sticky buns or a pastry. (He's lying. He will devour them.)

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

We know he mumbles, tosses and turns, and has nightmares and insomnia. The poor guy has it all. However, he also sweats and overheats easily. This all improves as the lyrium addiction subsides. However, one thing that does not change is that he overheats easily…………………………….but still wants to cuddle. Once he has his arms around the Inquisitor, good luck getting up.

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herald-divine-hell · 3 months ago

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Leliana and the Inquisitor: of the Rose of Faith and Love

Word estimate: 6,122

Summary: Essentially this post was meant to be more of an essay over the potential of an Inquisitor and Leliana romance in Inquisition, but it kinda spiral. You'll likely find me rambling, but I simply have too much thoughts. If anyone has questions, you can message or send me an ask and I can try to clarify. But in any case, I hope you enjoy!

I shall say this today and upon the Day of Judgement: I still believe that a romance with Leliana in Inquisition could have worked and honestly have fit the themes of DA:I.

Let me explain.

As Solas states, Leliana during Inquisition is in a crisis of faith. Her belief in the Maker is shaken at its core, a clear departure from the religiously assured Sister Leliana we saw in Origins, who believed that the Maker spoke to her through dreams to free the world of the Fifth Blight and to aid the Warden. Already this is a fascinating struggle that we wouldn't have imagined to find in someone like Leliana. Indeed, according to some of my friends (who shall not be named simply for privacy sake), the state we find Leliana in Inquisition was a bizarre, almost unsettling, scenario that made them wary of Leliana's interpretation in the third Dragon Age game, because most individuals interact with Leliana with the perspective of the most joyful, merciful sister we find in Origins, despite Leliana's darker past. To find her in a state of apathy and readily abled to deal out harsh measures toward others is something that I think is certainly realistic given the situation we find ourselves, but more specifically one Leliana is in, but is certainly an abrupt change for Leliana as a character for previous fans. It is almost seems like a significant regression of her personality, even if contextual it does make sense.

To me, one of the core themes Dragon Age: Inquisition explores is that of forgiveness. It is not surprising that the first title we receive - though wasted in my opinion - in Inquisition is the "Herald of Andraste", a figure whose compassion and forgiveness toward others is the core reason why the Maker's returned gaze toward the world and his subsequent removal from the affairs of Thedas with Andraste's death. The existence of Andrastanism as a religious faith is built on the idea, not of the Maker's inherent mercy and compassion or love for Their creation, as founded in the religious doctrines of Christianity or Islam, but on Andraste's capability of mercy and forgiveness and empathy. The Maker had no real interest to pardon creation for their sins until Andraste. In the framework of Andrastanism, it is Andraste who is the fountain of Mercy, and would have, in the eyes of many Andrastians with the return of the Prisoner from the Fade, returned someone after the destruction of her former resting place and the death of her Lord Husband's vassal, the Divine. That is why the Inquisitor is referred to as the "Herald of Andraste", nothing in which they promote, but rather what others believe them to be. They are not the Maker's Prophet but Andraste's, whose favor is what many Andrastians seek to beseech the Maker to forgive them of their sins. Rather the Inquisitor likes it or not, they are first and foremost the Herald of Andraste to the people, a divinely sanctioned figure of their Lady's mercy. In some way, they exist in a quasi-state of prophethood that I think the game doesn't delve as much as they should have given the religious tenets of Andrastanism. The idea that the Maker permitted Andraste to directly intervene through the Herald goes against everything the Chantry stands upon. It transforms the Maker and Andraste from absentee deity and divine bride into a more interactive, present deity as found in many monotheistic faiths in our world.

To simplify, the position of the Herald is more than simply a title in my opinion. It is a complete negation of the tenants of the Chantry who remained perplex and incapable of handling the Mage and Templar revolts against them. To many in southern Thedas, the Herald is an intervention by the Maker through Andraste, a possible sign that neither have turned exactly away. Regardless of if your Inquisitor supports that position or not, this is something that I think would have radically shaped the concept of the Inquisition, especially as, while Ferelden and Orlesian and Chantry authority collapses in the wake of the Mage Rebellion and Orlesian Civil War, the Herald establishes order and security, in their patron's divine name. No matter how much the Inquisitor verbally would deny it, the people would believe in Andraste's divine favor, especially as they "returned" with the destruction of Haven after the attack by Andrastanism's essential Satan, the Priest of Dumat Corypheus.

(I could go on a whole essay about why I think the Herald should have played a bigger role as a title, but that's for a later time).

To turn back to Leliana, this position likely would not have been greeted with much enthusiasm by the Left Hand. After all, while Leliana clearly recognizes that it is an expedite gift for the Inquisition as a propaganda tool, she clearly has doubts about the Herald's existence as a sign from the Maker...especially when their return came at the seemingly cost of her closest friend, Divine Justinia V.

As Leliana herself states...

"I used to believe I was chosen, just as some say you are. I thought I was fulfilling His purpose for me, working with the Divine, helping people. But now she's dead. It was all for nothing. Serving the Maker meant nothing."

Although Leliana directly does not accuse the Herald in game for Justinia's death, I doubt her views on you are favorable, though she likely does understand her emotional outrage toward your survival is completely unjustifiable. She is in a place of hurt, of uncertainty. You mean to tell her that the Maker's Chosen, a woman who followed close to the true tenets of the Chants as anyone was permitted to die for some...nobody to come and essentially take her place? Where is the justice in that? Why should you get to live but Justinia could not? There is deeper anger and hurt beneath the surface of Leliana, especially at the beginning of Inquisition, that she keeps well-masked, even as that mask lapsed for a brief moment. Your existence essentially goes against the confidence she held regarding the Maker’s plan with Justinia and her potential reforms, and her overall confidence that her actions was in service to the Maker, especially the ones taken for the necessity of Justinia’s overall plans as Divine. Admittedly, for her brief moment of unmasking, you do get that idea in that same conversation, at the beginning, where she essentially mocks/drills you:

"You speak for Andraste, no? What does the Maker's prophet has to say about all of this? What's His game?"

This, of course, is a rhetorical question. Leliana doesn't really expect you to give her an answer. Intriguingly, one of the characters with the greatest faith in the Maker in all the series is perhaps one of your greatest doubters about your divine position (a wonderful twist, if I may say so myself.) Of course, her chief anger is toward the Maker, the god whom she devoted so much of her life to serve, who - if you utilized BioWare's world state as I did in my first playthrough - stripped her of her one love (the Warden) and the closest thing she had left of a family, Dorothea. But human emotions are chaotic, untamable. Although she is angrier at the Maker, Leliana is also still angry at you, at the very idea of you...the audacity the Herald has to live. It is not personal anger - she isn't going to stab the Herald for Justinia's death, nor does she believe that the Herald had anything really to do with her death, but the anger would still be there, even though it is veiled by countless masks of Sister Nightingale. The anger would be irrational...but so is grief. This concept of anger I think would have been an interesting think to delve with Leliana’s character, especially with the lack of any real content the title Herald of Andraste provided.

Because of this, it is understandable that out of all the advisors, Leliana is perhaps the one that is not as close to you, though she does consider you a dear friend by the end of Inquisition if you aid her in her depression and grief - or "soften" her. Outside the Templar side of the story, there is still not the emotional connection you receive until Adamant with the Spirit who took the form of Justinia and later Valence.

However, there is something so fascinatingly intriguing about the entire dynamic with the Inquisitor and Leliana, taking this crisis of faith into account. As I stated, it is understandable that Leliana isn't as close to you as Josephine or Cullen is...but the opposite could still occur, in my view.

Despite her own objections, I cannot see Leliana and the Inquisitor not interacting, especially when they are named the Inquisitor after Haven. Even then, a persistent Herald (cough Alexandra cough), likely would have been something Leliana warmed up to...to a certain extent, by Haven. Something close to fondness may awake, or perhaps more closely a form of respect, but the anger would still linger beneath - the anger of Sister Leliana and Lady Nightingale and the unstoppable pity Leliana naturally would feel to this person who was so unready for the mantle thrust upon them would be in conflict, and though she may be cold and distant...her view does change, slowly and steadily. Not her faith...no...but she isn't seeing the Herald as the Herald, is she? Rather, Leliana at their time in Haven, in those brief moments of discussion after meetings and prompted conversation likely started by the Herald, understanding of the Herald would begin to slowly shift - from Herald to Lord/Lady Trevelyan/Master/Mistress Lavellan/Cadash/Adaar. It isn't exactly friendship, and it is certainly not them in love...but something close to appreciation would likely exist, especially if the Herald is supportive of mage rights. In times, letters may be sent to one another, the weekly reports regarding situations in the Hinterlands and the Stormcoast and what occurred in Val Royeaux, but something more private, inquiring about Leliana's health, and perhaps personal appeals to Josephine to get this woman to eat more. This, of course, is something you can't exactly display outside of storytelling in a traditional form, especially in something like Inquisition, but conversations between the Herald and the Inquisitor surely could have been coded to have this certain angle where a concerned Herald, despite Leliana's coldness, would check up on her. Leliana may be cold; she may even say something like:

Herald: And how are you today, Leliana? Leliana: Well enough, Herald. Let us return to our work.

To later, after acquiring the mages or templars:

Herald: And how are you today, Leliana? Leliana, amused: Nosy, are we? Herald: 1) Simply concern; 2) Just a bit. And I'm not as nosey as a certain woman who knew the exact time I woke up this morning; 3) You could simply answer the question. (Since I would have picked two in this situation, a softening Leliana could have stated) Leliana: Perhaps if Your Worship was not so loud, I might not have known. And it is my job to be assure that you are well enough for the coming battle, Herald. Herald: Is that concern I hear, Sister Leliana? Leliana, slightly flustered: Practicality, mostly. We wouldn't want you to collapse like last time, now would we? That certainly would not be holy of you. In any case. I'm well enough. You need not concern yourself over me...but thank you.

To a possible other conversation, when the Herald is near ready to attempt to seal the Breach a second time:

Herald: Any words of encouragement or advice? Leliana: Are you sure you want them from me? Herald: I did ask. Leliana: I do not have much to give that the others could not provide. Herald: I still would like it. Leliana: I trust you will be able to seal the Breach. You have your allies; you have your own strength. I have confidence you will be able to do it. Have…have faith in yourself. And don’t die out there. It would have made my death to be in vain. Herald: Now that was uncalled for. Leliana: You wanted my advice.

(Of course, this is a draft and would require some work if it had ever been implemented in game.)

In any case, something close to friendship would bubble between them, primarily pushed by the Herald, though not entirely denied by Leliana, if they play their cards right. Leliana in her mind might justify that relationship with the idea of raising another mask, to make the Herald put their trust in her while not reciprocating the same. Of course, this a lie. Despite her words, she did die for the Herald in In Hushed Whispers, though she may claim it was a second chance for history...what history is there, in a world overtaken by the Fade? No, despite that moment of teasing, Whisper!Leliana died so the Inquisitor could live, and by her own admission, she would do it again. In her mind, she may say it is for the greater sacrifice for the world...but despite it all, we caught a glimpse of the true Leliana. Leliana would die for the Herald because at heart Leliana is a rescuer, and there is something close to caring that she feels for the Herald, even it is not the same caring she held for the Warden. And perhaps in some ways, she sees the Warden in the Herald, who is willing to bare the world upon their shoulders, and not once complain, readily aiding others for compassion and kindness. Someone who is worthy to die for…just like Justinia. No, despite everything, despite all her iron walls...Leliana is still a softie at heart. It is simply buried and needs to be lifted out. We could see that a little in game, even at Haven, though it is not really all that much, all things considering. Which is reasonable. But it still exists within Leliana, which the game seemingly does acknowledge through those brief statements. Parts of Leliana can be carefully observed through her interactions with the Herald at Haven, even if it not as in-depth as someone like me would have liked. So the foundations of something more than a cordial work relationship does exist between the Inquisitor and Leliana, but I believe that it could have easily transcended more.

There are technically only four companions and advisors you cannot romance at all in Inquisition: Vivienne, who is in love with Duke Bastion, Varric, who is in love with Bianca (the crossbow), Cole, likely due to his existence as a spirit and his more youthful mindset, and Leliana, who could either be taken by the Warden or simply just is not romancable because BioWare did not think or desire to have another romance for a romancable character from their first game.

Of course, I acknowledge the first point. Leliana would simply be incompatible with the Inquisitor if the Warden were still alive and had romanced Leliana in Origins (I believe she was the most romanced character out of the four DA:O romances), so that point can be discarded as something not entirely worthy of this essay. The other point, that BioWare did not desire to have another romance for someone you could romance in a different game is also valid. The possibility already exists in one game, why waste resources doing it again? At a game design level, it is justifiable.

However, I would argue that Leliana’s existence in Inquisition itself…while I say this with a heavy heart…is otherwise unnecessary. Unlike Cullen where you are actively aiding him to reform into a better man after the Templars, either through a platonic friendship or romance, Leliana bares little in terms of the same emotional catharsis. Like Varric, I questioned BioWare’s decision to have her at all in Inquisition, even if I think her potential as a character within the game is self-evident as a concept. Outside the important narrative dynamic of her crisis in faith, Inquisition does not go that in depth to really give us that emotional reaction toward Leliana’s crisis. Although initially for returning players it may be jarring, especially for those who romanced her in Origins, the lack of content for Leliana really made that potential character development not as impactful as it would otherwise. (Again, I still do recognize the absolute catastrophe hell that was Inquisition’s development. Still, narratively, I have qualms with Leliana’s incorporation specifically.) That is, of course, not to say that Leliana’s only worth is through a romance option with the Inquisitor. Overall, I think more effort should have been made for that platonic relationship between the Inquisitor and Leliana to really show how she began to have more faith through the Inquisitor’s aid.

But, Leliana’s relationship, unlike the other four unromancable Inner Circle members, honestly had the most potential for a romance with the Inquisitor, in my honest opinion. Leliana is in a state of depression – there is no way to go around that. She is emotionally broken and lost with the death of Justinia. (I do want to point out that I am not saying that Leliana’s only cure for her depression is her to bang the shit out of the Inquisitor.) Yet, unlike the others, Leliana and the Inquisitor have a unique relationship because of the aforementioned religious undertones of their title as Herald of Andraste. Unlike with Josephine, whom Leliana considers a dear friend but still does not want her to fret over her – while “hypocritically” fussing over Josephine if the Inquisitor seeks a romance with her -, and Cassandra, who while friendly seemed to have a more work relationship and only drew close because of the Inquisition, Leliana cannot entirely push the Herald away from being concern. Ironically, I think it is partly because she does not know the Inquisitor that Leliana, in a strange way, is more open to her distress then with those whom one would expect to first hear about her worries, like Josephine and Casandra. It is not because she trusts the Herald at Haven, nor it is because she feels compelled as the Inquisitor is now her boss to openly discuss her failings at Haven, but because, as a character, the Inquisitor is in a unique position. In the first cutscene we have at Skyhold with Leliana (technically the third we have personally with Leliana overall), her mask is completely off for the Inquisitor.

Leliana: The names we lost. You must blame me this.

Unlike in Haven, where Leliana is openly confrontational with the Herald, after the destruction of Haven, Leliana lays the entire blame on herself. If only she had set her scouts ahead, perhaps they may have gone a better warning. Perhaps if she was deceived, if she put away that whisper to care for her people, those who were lost at Haven may very well been alive. It was her fault. The Inquisitor must understand that.

This goes directly against why Varric believes Leliana makes a better spymaster. According to Varric:

Varric: “To be honest with you, she’s just a better spymaster. The truly great ones can keep their distance. They don’t get attached to their people. Me, I always wind up babysitting my informants and worrying about their families. We’re in better hands with her.”

(Varric your 0-2 for reading your coworkers, tbh.)

Clearly Leliana puts enough a front that others think that Leliana is more willing to give up the lives of her scouts. And perhaps, the Leliana we find discussing Butler would have done that. And there comes Leliana’s complexity. For the greater good…the Leliana we find in Inquisition would do anything, a thing somewhat shared with Leliana in Origins who is willing to die for the sake of ending the Blight, though she places her faith in the Maker to shield her. Rather Leliana believed that at all that she could die (it’s been a hot minute since I played Origins) during the Blight, it was essentially an act of heroism, bolstered by her belief in the Maker.

Now that her belief in the Maker is near shattered, it is the supposed practicality of being willing to die for the sake of the Herald or being willing to send her Scouts to certain death for the greater good Haven that propels her forward…and the fact that she didn’t do the latter tears at her. Leliana isn’t a better spymaster because she supposedly doesn’t care. It is the opposite. The Inquisitor, rather or not they pushed for Butler to be pardoned at Haven, does have a role in this. By directly confronting her, one can argue that Leliana is given a moment of reflection, or at least push in that direction. Although I believe that this scene still occurs if you don’t talk to Leliana the second time in Haven, there is still narrative undertones because of it. In a way, to make sense of Leliana’s story in Inquisition, you – the Herald, the one person who has the authority and ability to directly go against Leliana – has to put your foot down. Maybe its because the Herald simply has some idea that this is not who Leliana is (Alexandra), or maybe it is because they could gain information out of him if need be, or a mix of both (Amayian). Regardless, the fact that Leliana, in another moment of surprised weakness, opens up to you is quite telling.

Why though? Out of everyone in the Inquisition, why is the Inquisitor the one Leliana opens up like this? Possibly because of story reasons, but I think its more. After Haven, Leliana is once more shaken. Because in some ways, Leliana probably blames herself for Justinia’s death. She was her Left Hand, meant to protect her from those who lingered in the shadows. She was the Maker’s conduit as a protection for Justinia and she failed her. And now it was – in Leliana’s mind – her fault that Haven was destroyed. It was her fault that the Inquisitor had to almost sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. They must blame her for this, must blame her for almost letting them die.

That is not to say such an idea holds any real merit in reality. It isn’t Leliana’s fault at all. But Leliana assumes that guilt upon herself, partly because of her position as Left Hand (and because Leliana likely does blame herself for Justinia’s death). In a way, had more effort gone into Leliana’s storyline for Inquisition, perhaps we would have been giving more of an idea where Leliana, subconsciously, replaced her protectiveness over Justinia onto the Inquisitor, as much to ease her guilt as anything else. This complication would be exacerbated by a potential romantic entanglement between the two. Here she was, left blind in the dark and someone of significant importance that could give the world peace nearly died because of her “failure”. And in that wavering faith, perhaps in a way Leliana thinks that this is another punishment from the Maker. Leliana failed, but the Herald did not. They rallied Haven together for a defense, gave them enough time for everyone to flee, faced the Elder One, nearly died, and returned to them, wounded but alive. The Herald’s survival after Haven is almost miraculous to anyone but the Herald and the player.

This is why I think this conversation with Leliana is perhaps the most telling of all conversations the Inquisitor has with Leliana, and why I think a potential romance fundamentally works on a narrative level with Leliana. Here, Leliana has no real reason to open up. The Inquisitor is no longer a “sort of leader”, propaganda tool for the Inquisition. Although Leliana is cold and distant, there exists a level of equality there that allowed them to discuss things on an equal footing. Once the Herald is named Inquisitor, that dynamic, one would expect, change. They were now her boss. A completely apathetic, workaholic Leliana would have simply not have been open to discuss her failings with her boss. She might admit it that she did fail and she will rectify that, but not in the way DA:I displays it. No, Leliana is visibly distraught. Inherently, there is something different between Leliana ‘s desire to be validated with her belief that she must be cold for the sake of the Inquisition, and Leliana feeling shame for “allowing” people to die at Haven. She still does the former, but it is the latter that BioWare purposefully introduces us after Haven in the introduction of Skyhold’s first scene with Leliana.

I have seen some arguments that Leliana isn’t that close with the Inquisitor, and I fundamentally disagree. Leliana and the Inquisitor had the foundations to be exceptionally close in Inquisition. BioWare simply did not think of it, had the resources to implement, or have the interest to establish it. But there are strong foundations that display that the Inquisitor and Leliana could have been closer within the game. And we can see that in this same cutscene in Haven, where Leliana challenges the Inquisitor if you claim that her instincts were right to draw her scouts back.

Leliana: Could we afford such sentimentality? What if Corypheus – Inquisitor: We are better than Corypheus.

And in a way, I read it as something more. Not only is the Inquisitor stating that the Inquisition as an institution is better than Corypheus, that they need not step down to his level, but more importantly Leliana is better than Corypheus. Although Leliana frames the discussion as something surrounding the greater good for the Inquisition, Leliana argues that the Lady Nightingale, the Left Hand of the Divine, the woman who would have been willing to sacrifice anything or anyone for Justinia, the option that called for absolute apathy and pragmatism would have been the better option. Such setinimality, such compassion, can only hinder the Inquisition’s cause. As Patrick (Tricks) Weekes pointed out, Corypheus is her “dark mirror” and they both are “burned believers”. Both are willing to do what they deem necessary to achieve their goals. But the Inquisitor is right. Leliana is better. Corypheus truly does not care for others. Leliana does. And I think it is poetic that it is the Inquisitor, this symbol of forgiveness in the eyes of many and the last gift Justinia could give to the world before her death, that reminds her so. Just as Dragon Age: Inquisition’s themes delve over forgiveness and redemption, so too does the storyline of Leliana in Inquisition revolve around such themes.

And if we imagine this in a romantic light, especially in the context of a dead Warden, such ideas of redemption rings so much stronger (though still strong even within a platonic context). As Josephine notes, Leliana is so much more different than the woman she knew in Val Royeaux.

(I can’t find the video directly, so I do apologize if there is any errors but I tried to be accurate to the quote Josephine says about Leliana at Skyhold)

Josephine: She has grown so much more distant than the outgoing woman I met in Val Royeaux. Leliana used to wander the gardens, singing the sweetest songs, charming with the great wits. Now she collects secrets and takes risks that would make empires crumble. I worry but she would not hear it.

Although I’m sure I butchered that dialogue, I am firm that the general statement is correct, since I had listened to it over and over again in the past.

The most important take away from it cannot be understated. Not only is Leliana more distant, but she is also inherently more distant to one of her only closest friends in the Inquisition. Such, it is more telling that when it comes to the Inquisitor, and if we take a romantic glance to this relationship, Leliana seems less…restrained to openly discuss her problems, despite them not knowing each other for long.

Although some may argue that it is simply a plot device to further Leliana’s character arc in Inquisition. I disagree. While Leliana does discuss some topics in Inquisition, they tend to revolve around other people such as the Warden, Hawke, or Justinia. Even when discussing about her being a bard, Leliana turns them away from directly teaching them but does leave the option to teach the Herald later. When it comes to her personally, Leliana seems wary of directly involving herself with the Inquisitor, even if she, begrudgingly, revolves some aspect of her life through others. But she is otherwise very open about herself to the Inquisitor…yet not to others. One cannot help but imagine that there is something, in-world, about the Inquisitor that she could not help but be open to discuss, though of course I would note that these discussions could happen at a later date after you two interacted, and the game simply expediate it because of gameplay reasons. In any case, as Josephine later confirms, Leliana is emotionally distant toward even her closest friend. But not the Inquisitor, even though she only really counts them, in-game, as a friend post-Valence, near the end of the game.

In some ways, if viewed in a romantic sense, Leliana’s opening toward the the Herald in Haven and the Inquisitor in Skyhold simply could be propelled by the fact that unlike Josephine, who may have argued that this is simply not Leliana but retreated once Leliana pushes Josephine’s concern a way, the Inquisitor directly challenges her on multiple occasions and actually makes the effort to contradict perceived notions of Leliana’s established value. The game itself does not give you a clear answer as to why the Herald can openly defy Leliana in Haven. In the first conversation, the last discussion you have with Leliana at the end of the cutscene is intriguing. The first option – “Let me help you” is such a fascinating one. Sure, the other options aren’t that great – the Herald kind of brushes Leliana off on the other two options, which confirms, subconsciously to Leliana, that this brief outburst was something she should kept to herself, reaffirming her hardened nature. Realistically, the Herald may very well lean toward the other two options, and one can argue that “My sympathies” would have worked preferable here if the Inquisitor was just trying to be kind. But no, the Herald offers support to an absolute stranger. As a romantic, I cannot help but think that such an offering is so intriguingly sweet. And yet, this does not begin her softening era. The Herald is simply so imaginably sweet in this first dialogue!

The Herald: Maybe you have a different purpose. I could help you find it. Leliana: No, this is my burden. I regret that I even let you see me like this. It was a moment of weakness. It won’t happen again. Come. To work then. We will speak later.

Just, ah! And it does happen again. Although it is constantly argued that Leliana and the Inquisitor aren’t that connected (primarily because of the limits of the game), I argue that they actually are fascinating to examine together, platonically and romantically. It is obvious that this level of commitment to aid Leliana could develop a romantic relationship, possibly accidentally, because Leliana has constantly needed a push, first with Dorothea, then with Warden against Marjolaine, and now with the Inquisitor to help her with a depression. It is not too ridiculous to see that such kindness and compassion toward Leliana would raise romantic feelings toward the Inquisitor. Now, would Leliana be open to these feelings is a different question and is doubtable. But I argue that narratively Leliana/Inquisitor does work in that sense. A lot of Leliana’s present storyline in Inquisition works, in my view, as a platonic or romantic relationship, easily. What is significant is that the Inquisitor serves as an aid, a guidance, something which Leliana lost with the lost of Justinia and her subsequent shattering of faith.

Romance

You may say, then, “Herald, you have pointed from time to time against that Leliana’s relationship with the Inquisitor fits perfectly find within the context of a platonic friendship. How exactly does this display any validity of an Inquisitor/Leliana romance?

Although I do admit, Leliana’s relationship with the Inquisitor works perfectly find platonically – in my view, romantically, the relationship between these two characters is fascinating in the context of a romantic relationship.

Firstly, although limited by Inquisition’s romance system, I find that the Inquisitor and Leliana can easily transform their relationship from friendship to romantic. It is, in a way, an essential “friends-to-lovers” trope. Although many of the decisions given to the Inquisitor can soften Leliana is, in Inquisition, taken in the frame of reference of friendship, there is something inherently romantic in the way the Inquisitor conducts themselves than they do with other characters, outside someone who is facing a similar moral dilemma in the form of Cullen.

Whereas the other romances, more or less, are based on the Inquisitor’s interest in the companions, Leliana’s potential romance is strengthened by the fact that the romance inherently doesn’t have to appear romantic. Because her storyline is so centered on the moral and ethical dilemma of Leliana either reclaiming her she truly was or letting go of all previous convictions of what made her for the “sake of the greater good”, the romantic relationship would not be simply because the Inquisitor is interested in Leliana. Instead, it is based on the desire to help Leliana for Leliana. In the words of Solas, healing Leliana is the goal but getting her “into bed is just an enjoyable side benefit.” In other words, my envisioned romance for Inquisitor/Leliana is not inherently too different than what we got with Leliana in Inquisition itself, because the core elements are already there.

It is the Inquisitor who shares two moments of weakness with Leliana. It is the Inquisitor who pushes Leliana to question herself and her role as simply the “Nightingale”. It is the Inquisitor who bears the news of Justinia’s last words to Leliana. Leliana/Inquisitor’s romance would be as what you first can say to Leliana in your first private conversation with her:

“Maybe you have a different purpose. I could help you find it.”

A potential romance-interested Inquisitor would not be doing this for the sake of bedding Leliana. They’re doing this because they empathize with Leliana. You’re trying to help Leliana find herself again…and in the meanwhile, you too dance. You share private quips. Leliana teases you about being a dragon-hunter…perhaps even her dragon-hunter. And Leliana is angry at you, because you essentially took the place of what the last real family she had left (baring the Warden, but that’s too complicated with so many scenarios that I choose not to delve too into it). It is fascinating to think of Leliana’s conflict. She wants to hate you for Justinia’s death, even if she personally doesn’t blame you. You are the Herald, a symbol of Her God who abandoned her. She should be angry at you, but damnit, you’re asking how you could help her. And she needs you to blame her for failing you at Haven, but you’re denying her. Why? What has she done to be worthy of such considerations. There is nothing but cold emptiness inside, the last visions of Justinia before her, a gray shade in the darkness.

Almost like a certain dream in a time long past…where there was an impenetrable darkness, so dense, so very real, and there was a noise rising from that darkness, terrible, ungodly, as she stood upon a peak and watch the darkness consume all. And then she fell…or maybe she jumped, because what else was there to jump? There was nothing but the darkness and that terrible noise, swarming, grasping, pulling her. But when she woke from that dream, in the ruins of a sacred chantry, she found a single rose in a withered gray rosebush, awaiting her.

In all, the reason why I am so adamant for a Leliana-romance in Inquisition because it seems just so natural. Yes, I know she can be romanced with a Warden who is still living. But that is not everyone’s world state, and hell, that isn’t even BioWare’s world-state. I argue that Leliana’s romance could have been the most well done because of how complex Leliana’s inherent character was in Inquisition. Leliana needs help. It just so happens she fell for the Inquisitor along the way, you know?

I’m sorry if this post was just a really big ramble. I just had a lot of thoughts that I needed to put down.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dai #da #leliana #dragon age the inquisitor #dragon age leliana #leliana x inquisitor #inquisitor x leliana #leliana/inquisitor #inquisitor/leliana #dragon age meta post #meta post #meta analysis #Tim rambles #long post

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