#the me from 10 years ago wouldve never

[romancednpc]

hardening leliana and alistair to build character (derogatory)

[apathyfairy]

me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money

me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend

[heyitslapis]

**Work rant, DO NOT REBLOG**

the security guard was talking with my coworker in listening range of me last night & i heard him say (he was talking about some foreign country in the middle east) "Yeah they have lots of sexism.....and child labor"

I piped up and said "Well we have a lot of both of those here too" he replied with "no, we don't have child labor" & i didn't feel like getting into all the ways america currently exploits children for their labor but I did tell him about the multiple states that are trying to pass laws right now that allow kids (around 13) to enter the work force AND THEN HE & MY COWORKER BOTH AGREED THAT THAT'S NOT UNREASONABLE (mind you, he's 26 & she's 6) He even added that well its only ok if they're parents are deadbeats or crackheads I said that doesnt matter I dont think any kids or young teens should be working/have to work period & my coworkers response was "Well I had a job at 13. I wanted to work. I was curious what it was like" I just started ignoring them after that bc they obviously weren't gonna change their minds

[aristocrating]

I kind of don’t know how I feel about Jack and Bitty being endgame? That’s my hot take. Like, idk if I want Jack or Bitty ending up with anyone else, but idk if I want them ending up with each other either???? Idk. Maybe it’s got something to do with Bitty’s inexperience in the dating scene.

i'm not gonna be beating the allegations that i sent this to myself, thanks anon lmaooooo

you are right and you should be saying it.

let me preface this by saying: i GET what people see in zimbits. from the angle of the wholesome ending, sure, absolutely. let them be cute together if it sparks joy for you.

howEVER, i personally am a big fan of jack's angsty side. it's what drew me to the comic (it's even what made me want to see zimbits initially), and i am jack zimmermann's biggest fan for the sole reason that he is a mess of a person. the jack that intrigued me would be a HORRIBLE first boyfriend for bitty. because you are right, bitty's inexperience is a huge factor in this.

i read jack as being trapped in this perpetual cycle of isolation and over-attachment. he had his thing with kent, then isolated himself for many years, then came out of his shell at samwell and immediately grafted himself onto bitty's hip. at the same time, he also demands bitty to keep their relationship secret. bitty, who just came out to his teammates 1.5 years ago, comes from a conservative homophobic environment and has, as far as we're told in the comic, not had any great dating experiences while at samwell (which could be its own entire post, stay tuned ig)

as the biggest jack zimmermann fan under the sun, i am convinced that bitty -- yes bitty -- deserves better. i used to run a queer youth group in my area and there's a lot of young queer folks out there who come from conservative backgrounds and take YEARS to unlearn all the internalized bullshit, find out who they even are, and only then are really able to properly integrate themselves into their queer community. bitty, from what we see in the comics, never really goes through any of this process.

so getting together with the first closet case he can find (after having that guy yell at him for a year, then living for a year in fear of crushing on a straight guy) just kind of makes me feel bad for him. if we're taking what the comic gives us at face value, i don't think they're that good for each other.

i would LOVE to have seen the process of them figuring it out, then i probably would've been more on board with the ship, but the comic was never going to have the means to deal with all of this, so it just falls flat for me. personally. i see what the comic was getting at, it just didn't do it for me. it doesn't scoop me up, as we say in german. ("holt mich nicht ab")

as far as this being a hot take. *looks at my crowd of jack/kent mutuals* hmmmm, 7/10?

🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

PS: anyways if you want sports drama featuring deeply traumatized and horrible people, @fanartshmanart got me into All For The Game, which hits a lot of the marks i wish check please wouldve hit in regards to jack, bitty and kent

edit: for added context, the zimbits kiss was huge for me when it happened, but now looking back on it im just kind of like... eh

[paper--machete]

idk if you did this before but ummm rank all qotsa albums including them crooked vultures

I'll do you one better! I'll include the desert sessions 11+12 cus imo it's too thoroughly produced to not include

10. lullabies to paralyze

no hate on lullabies but honestly the whole vibe of the record is just sooooo 2005. in my head has to be their worst song just because of how embarassing that chorus is and also there's just a lot of fluff, even the deep cuts on this album feel like throwaway tracks (which I would even say about my favorite songs on the album, tangled up in plaid and broken box). the whole album just feels like a radio-friendly attempt to prove they still had their edge after Nick was kicked out

favorite songs: tangled up in plaid, little sister, i never came, the blood is love, broken box

9. villains

villains gets too much hate. people always point to Mark Ronson for ruining the album but honestly I'm glad we live in the alternate timeline where qotsa made a pop album. the way you used to do is awesome (ESPECIALLY the live version), domesticated animals is awesome, un-reborn again is one of their best songs. hideaway has always sucked tho and I hate the ending of the evil has landed because it just sounds like they were trying to do 3s and 7s again for some reason (with the slide guitars and Josh going "way-ee-ay") but otherwise also one of their best songs. also I wanna mention that Jon Theodore is at his best on this album, you can really hear his background in prog shine through on certain songs

favorite songs: the way you used to do, domesticated animals, fortress, un-reborn again, the evil has landed

8. desert sessions 11+12

first and foremost noses in roses forever is one of the best songs jho has ever written. DS11/12 basically feels like josh decided he wanted to do his own Gorillaz style collaborative project thanks to the increased production values and honestly it just makes me want another desert sessions release just like it.... which contradicts the other thing I wanted to say which is that there's really no album that sounds like 11/12 out there. nowhere else will you hear a song like chic tweetz because any other album would’ve left it on the cutting room floor for being too stupid. i love it

also I wanna say that i think crucifire is for royal blood what ultralight beam was for chance the rapper lmao

favorite songs: noses in roses forever, chic tweetz, easier said than done

7. in times new roman

damn I'm surprised the recency bias isn't getting to me on this one lmao. ITNR has a lot of really good songs on it but put together into an album it really feels like they’re just treading old ground. (I was originally gonna write a review of it when it came out titled “new dog, old tricks”). despite this there’s a lot of great stuff, paper machete and emotion sickness are two of my fav qotsa songs and straight jacket fitting might be their best closer? idk. this would be higher if it didn’t just feel like a “more of the same” type album

favorite songs: paper machete, negative space, made to parade, emotion sickness

6. self-titled

this placement hurts so much because like a year and a half ago this wouldve been #2 😭 anyway i love the self titled so much because it sounds so different from the rest of their discography… you can hear alot of the leftover kyuss influence in the heavier songs and riff writing, plus what other album is gonna try some crazy shit like walkin on the sidewalks or hispanic impressions? (btw hispanic impressions is their most underrated song) also the expanded edition is better for having spiders and vinegaroons but worse for having droids

favorite songs: regular john, avon, how to handle a rope, hispanic impressions, you can’t quit me baby

5. songs for the deaf

i’ve always had beef with songs for the deaf…. i’ve always felt like the best songs on it are so good that they make the lesser songs seem worse in comparison. like another love song is great but when it’s sandwiched between god is in the radio and song for the deaf its like. well obviously this is one of the weaker songs on the album. anyway it’s still good, being the other nick-era qotsa album you can really hear the collaboration between the band’s all-star lineup across the whole thing

favorite songs: hanging tree, go with the flow, god is in the radio, song for the deaf, mosquito song

4. them crooked vultures 

TCV is just a really, really solid album. the sequencing is great, the songs are all great, the musicians are all at their A game, ESPECIALLY josh as it’s not an unpopular opinion to say this album is where he really started tapping into his skills as a vocalist. while i consider TCV to be the honorary bonus qotsa album, i feel like it also manages to stand on its own thanks to the creative contributions of dave grohl and john paul jones.

favorite songs: mind eraser no chaser, dead end friends, bandoliers, warsaw, spinning in daffodils

3.5. over the years and through the woods

maybe I'm biased cus qotsa brainworms but the dvd of this is the best concert film/album I've ever heard. there's a perfect balance between songs being played as they are on the record and songs having things tweaked or even reworked entirely, which is something i’m picky about when it comes to concerts (i saw jack white two years ago and he changed waaaaay too many songs :P) also there’s a lot of neat little bonus things in the set, like an early version of make it wit chu, another desert sessions track (covered in punk’s blood) and of course the live performance of fun machine which is a top 3 song for them and always will be

favorite songs: feel good hit of the summer, avon, little sister, you can’t quit me baby, the fun machine took a shit and died

3. rated R

rated R is a perfect album! i think its greatest strength is its sequencing tbh, it succeeds at both giving the impression of it being a concept album (while not necessarily conforming to the concept) as well as having a super diverse tracklist where no two songs sound alike. also characteristic of nick-era qotsa, i love how rated R isn’t afraid to have short songs or long songs, though unlike on songs for the deaf the short/long songs here feel like they don’t sacrifice length for substance relative to other songs. 

favorite songs: feel good hit of the summer, leg of lamb, auto pilot, better living through chemistry, i think i lost my headache

2. era vulgaris

there is no album that sounds like era vulgaris. why does misfit love sound like that? why does battery acid sound like that? WHY DOES I’M DESIGNER SOUND LIKE THAT??? it’s so fucking weird and rich with ideas, there isn’t a single moment on era vulgaris where the band isn’t trying something new. even my least favorite songs on here have something new and unique to offer while also being the most fucked up little beast creature thing youve ever heard.

favorite songs: turnin on the screw, i’m designer, into the hollow, 3’s and 7’s, run pig run

1. ...like clockwork

i’m an artsy kid, i like artsy albums, and i love like clockwork for how mature it is. every song feels like a statement, an emotion concentrated into a 4-minute masterpiece. while the lows on here are lower for me than on other albums, they still make important contributions to the album experience as a whole (not to mention the highs soar, i appear missing and fairweather friends are top 5 material for them. I appear missing might even be top 1 tbh.) i’m out of things to say so uhhh yeah like clockwork is my favorite :)

favorite songs: i sat by the ocean, the vampyre of time and memory, fairweather friends, i appear missing

[lobsterflavoredsoup]

‘Icy Invitation’ trailer has been posted to the Nintendo Mobile Youtube Channel!! From the silhouettes i think most people expected/knew that this would be an ice tribe banner with Felicia and Nils on it, but the trailer confirms it!!

First off character choice- honestly,,, a bit boring 😭😭😭 no hate to enjoyers of these characters, im just a bit bummed out. With nifl featuring on a summer banner, i think a few people (me included) were hoping for muspell to b on an ice tribe or winter banner. Instead we get,,, fjorm nifl duo!! I like their dynamic, theyre really cute, but another fjorm??😭😭😭 and no kilma, the leader of the ice tribe?? We get his daughters instead, in their first alts since the picnic banner ages ago. Hurray to maid twin fans!! For the final member of this banner we have another blue haired pegasus knight. A bit random imo but ik she is associated somewhat with ice?? Not too sure, ive never played her original game. I wouldve enjoyed characters who havent had an alt yet, or characters who are more strongly associated with fire for that culture shock sorta feel, but im not too mad about these choices (or mad at all tbh, but ik some people might feel different)

Real quick im gonna talk abt the skills on this banner- luna on a five star in the year 2024 is a bit weird, but no complaints here. Seeing IS give armours prfs and new b skills instead of changing the save skills is a bit weird. Idk how well save armours r performing in this new meta, if theyre performing at all, im no pheonixmaster1 guys lol. Nils is a grail unit (again) and the seals r nothing special, maybe ill put that finish seal on someone but no idea who yet.

The art- honestly the art on this banner just slaps no real bad pieces here. Thea is the worst of the batch but she is in no way bad, just doesnt really compare to the others. Flora is GORGEOUS, Fjorm and Nifl have great expressions and poses, and felicias art really does capture her personality. My question is for the designs- i dont really remember the ice tribe from fates, but didnt they have,,,, more clothes?? I dont mind skin at all but idk if they were figure skaters?? Is this a yuri on ice banner or am i missing something??😭😭😭 Now that i look closer yeah theyre all wearing tights but idk im just confused

Overall thoughts- im just amused lol not mad at all just have some ,,, thoughts. Will b talking to my brother about this later and probably overreacting but i just get excited talking about feh okay 😭😭😭 i give this post a cute meh out of 10.

[termagax]

that puts there beihg more wiggle room because the crisis was like 30 years ago right. and well the thing abt that is that it doesnt mesh exactly with the fishhook timeline in my mind vecause i thibk canonically it puts hog as being ~18-20 when the crisis happens? which is too young for fishhook stuff but i do think would be REALLY interesting for canon hog. and makes it so jr wasnt born until after the explosion which i believe is the more interesting option because it puts all the junkers at different points when it happened and thus different relationships to it. to jr its an abstract thing that happened before he was born. to dez it was the defining moment of her childhood and something she remembers in bad dreams (id make her just a bit older than she is in canon. maybe she was like between 5-10 when it happened. i have a lot of headcanons abt her childhood but i digress). and hog wouldve been the only one to experience it as an adult which i think gives him more of that guilt and weight than the other two. he kind of bears up under that feeling and sees his life in the wasteland as a sort of eternal reminder of the kind of person he is (a bad anf fucked up one) and the kinds of decisions he makes (bad and fucked up ones) and the life he deserves from that (a bad and fucked up one). dez rolls wtih the punches and lets it be something that gives her that "punch the whole world in the teeth" fire and a sort-of righteous anger at everyone and gives her that weird sense of justice that makes her very good at her job. fuck the world for every bad thing that happens. but also im gonna fix it and im not gonna let the things that happened to me happen to any other little girl ever again. but also fuck the world and fuck everybody else. and rat really doesnt think of it as a good or bad thing its just sort of the way things are for him. yeah his life has been kind of rough but he likes his life! he likes his city, he loves his job, he's just here to have fun and blow things up. like he genuinenly has such an upbeat outlook on things hes very much a guy you cant keep down even though he LITERALLY NEVER WINS its a nice contrast to the other two and i think it works rlly well if he's younger than the bomb.

[khodorkovskaya]

14.07.23

watched my mum's homevideos yesterday and omg

maybe my grandparents did love each other, despite what my grandma claims..? bc every day she's like "thank god i don't have a man" or "my retirement wouldve been miserable if he was still alive". but they looked so happy in those videos! idk i feel like everyone's been super unfair to my grandpa bc he was ill by the end of his life and it was literally not his fault he went crazy like he had a medical problem. yes, okay, he did try to kill my grandma and my auntie with an axe, but it's sad that it's the only thing he's remembered for! and i don't think he was an alcoholic like my grandma claims. on all videos they took shots together and my mum said that he never drank in the house. i think he was just depressed and homesick and no one loved him and that's why he was miserable by the end of his life. i would've definitely vibed with him, i know it!

but yeah the videos were mostly of lviv. and they made me homesick even tho ive never been to lviv. but seeing my greatgrandma and all of those distant relatives ive never met made me feel this kind of longing for a time ive never experienced. everyone was always smiling and laughing and they all looked so happy. and beautiful. and i love how back in the day women wore those little babushka headscarves, i want to start wearing one too.

it's a shame that there is no audio bc there are many videos of my greatgrandmother singing and my mum said that ukrainian singing is the most beautiful thing in the world. and i would've loved to hear it. it's sad to imagine that so many folk songs and traditions have probably been lost.

there was also a video of my other greatgrandma's funeral. she was married off to a man 10+ years her senior and had 10 children. she was illiterate. and she died at 68. i wonder what she was like.

and on the video you see all of her children. and now the only one left is my grandma, the rest have passed away long ago. both her sons went to jail, one of them commited suicide and the other killed his wife. the son of the one who killed his wife is on the videos too, there's a video of his wedding. he worked with khodorkovsky and fled to lithuania after the whole yukos case thing. he's in his 70s now.

another woman from the videos i would've loved to meet was auntie nadia. she looked so wonderful! my own auntie went to visit lviv for the first time in like 30 years in 2013. and she saw auntie nadia and she was like 76 and had trouble walking. i hope she's still alive. she looked so wonderful! she couldn't have children of her own, so she took care of all the neighbourhood kids and everyone loved her, she was so lovely.

but yeah, time is weird. it's even weird to think that my greatgrandmother had a name, you know? idk how to explain it, but we're so used to our ancestors just being our ancestors that it's weird to imagine that they had all these whole lives of their own with their own friends and ups and downs and memories and dreams. like my greatgrandmother was called pani yankevichova (no idea how that would be spelled in polish sorry) or anastasia grigorievna or maybe she even had a nickname, who knows. and my other greatgrandmother was called arina but apparently that wasn't russian enough so her passport name was irina. and her husband called her arisha. i wonder how she felt constantly being pregnant and living in poverty...

even my own grandma, i dont really know know her. like yes, she's my grandmother and we used to be very close before she got really old and started having memory issues. i used to call her every day when id come home from school, we would skype for hours, she was my best friend. but seeing her on those videos of when she was in her 30s is like wow who is that? and seeing all of them hanging out in lviv and singing and dancing and hugging each other and drinking together and omg there were some clips of them eating what i think is pierogi/pelmeni/vareniki..? everything is in black and white but yummmm. my mum always told me that her lviv grandma's food was delish. but yeah, i would've loved to time travel to meet all of them. </3

[mithliya]

re the bi pillow princesses poll results: maybe it's lack of experience with women? Per other polls, bi women on radblr are more with men than women, so if you're less used to being with women, it might be "easier" to be on the receiving end? (but also this is probably me projecting, I'm bi and i've never been with anyone, and the thought of ie giving oral, to a man or a woman, is a bit intimidating lol)

yeah perhaps... idk tho bc before i had any experience with women, my sexual fantasies mostly consisted of me topping/giving rather than receiving so like inexperienced me from 10 years ago wouldve probably chosen top-leaning. so i dont know if its that simple?

[keshi-gommu]

I've been rewatching Avatar the Last Airbender, and it's been really tough seeing and experiencing a lot of the parallels with Zuko and Myself.

In season 2, episode 1, when Azula is introduced, she convinces Zuko (and Iroh.... kinda) that his father, Ozai, cares for him and wants to have him home. When it's found out that's a lie, Zuko becomes furious and Azula taunts him by saying Ozai sees Zuko as a failure and that he'd never want Zuko home. After Zuko and Iroh escape, they cut off their hair which symbolizes their royalty and family lineage.

It reminds me of about a year ago when I went home to Atlanta to talk to my dad and stepmother, and how hopeful and happy I was to finally feel like a family after nearly 6 years of avoiding them. And when I talked to them, even though they were harsh (like Azula when she first engages Zuko with the lie that he is wanted home) I walked away feeling that I could finally be home and loved by my father. Except, the next day, when I asked why they were so hard on me in particular, I was told I (essentially) needed it because I was such a hard child and that they wouldn't apologize. I was told how my mother never loved me and that I'd never be whole unless I forgave (read: submitted to) my dad.

It reminds me of how I changed my last name and gave up my status as my father's child. I watched my own family lineage flow away from me like Zuko watching his own royallty drift down river. How desperate I felt to be loved by a man who has no problem exploiting the most vulnerable populations, and was happy to take more and more time away from me and my mother. How I wouldve been separated from my mom if there were no courts. Perpetuated by a father who had no problem fighting and choking me as a 10-11 year old child who was afraid and who didn't want to fight him.

[hekatekun]

yaoi was horrendous this week genuinely great job i am always obsessed with your uncanny ability to put todomatsu under a magnifying glass and burn him like an ant ^__^ cannot wait for chapter 5!!! i noticed a change in direction though particularly in how you characterize todomatsu's interactions w atsushi which i really liked!! i am curious though what prompted it :33

thank you^^<3 there's probably a few different reasons both intentional and unintentional. to start, ccckk will have 10 chapters, however in its original "outlining" i intended to have 9 chapters

i've shared my hyperlinked table of contents on a few different posts now, mostly as cockteasers. but also i literally don't think i could navigate the google doc without it atp

i think theres like 30k of it published? so there's on average at least 1-2k worth of a scene in all 6 of the unpublished chapters that i've chipped away at over the last 3 years, bc ofc some are more developed than others. there's never been a solid outline for ccckk but rather a string of scenes i knew i wanted at certain intervals, like milestones, and i had wanted to retro-engineer the rest around those concepts

with that in mind, ch10 isn't a real chapter but more like a coda i wrote right after publishing ch1 and so the rest has been "how do i move the story from ch1 to this epilogue?" the plot is only in the first 9 chapters, so i structured it with three "acts" in mind and tried to have the chapter titles reflect that - both for my own amusement and to ground the ideas better lest i forget what wasn't written yet. so if ch4 starts "act 2" then it should show off that shift. but also, i never intended ccckk to be a slowburn, more like a...... medium burn ig? it's supposed to be a todomatty character study first and foremost, after all

each chapter should feel episodic to some extent, since i paced it on individual chapter "goals" rather than wordcount or anything (tbh i actually thought i would only ever hit ~50k total but if i'm not even halfway done and i'm at 30k now? jesus fuck. fuck me. what the fuck did i do.) if i've planned/structured the story like i'm fitting individual glass pieces into a metal frame, then by god you're gonna get the yaoi-est stain-glass art you've ever seen outside church in your life. it's why ch4 utilizes something like a montage, to show that ~passage of time~ and what that did to their dynamic now in this act 2

as to what that situationship dynamic actually ended up looking like on the big screen, i definitely blame @moeatsushi's art for that one^^ a lot of it made me realize i could definitely make them..... messier? nastier? gayer? [insert tumblrbait adjective]? for a lack of a better word. and that i could balance That with the surrealist realism that i wanted to achieve when translating the show into prose. also helped me get out of a general writer's block<3

beyond all that, i think part of it comes from me now being 23 writing yaoi instead of writing yaoi at 20. not that my brains developed any more, but my opinions have changed. like, to the point i find it hard to read the previous chapters when i have to reference them. ch1 really is a mark of shame to me ngl only god knows how i wouldve wrote it now. i had a friend look at it a few weeks ago and they called that shit "college freshmen posting on wattpad" 😓 which is already how i felt about it but whatever. post and move on. i (probably) won't repost/edit since that's more work that no one's paying me for, and it (probably) isn't as bad as my perfectionist monkey brain feels. anyway this isn't about being emo it's my precursor to admitting that there's a good chance i went off script bc i refused to look super close at my own goddamn source material/notes and decided winging it was better out of a mixture of laziness and pride at the cost of tighter consistency/characterization

[generaljanuary]

you had blue hair when we met. my sweet, shy, soft-spoken older sister was suddenly spending all her time away from home, hanging out with college students, listening to metal music and watching wrestling. i found a blue hair in the shower and i hated you.

about a year later, on her prom night, in her beautiful dress, she devotedly knelt on the dirty vestibule floor to untie your shoes for you and yet i could not hate you. you were clutching your white cane against your black suit, your blue eyes robbed of sight in the dark.

a few years later, when you both got into that car accident with your friends, i burst into tears twice at the hospital. when i got to hold her safe in my arms and when i heard you hadnt been wearing your seatbelt. you’d been there for hours and you were still covered in dirt, glass and so much blood in the blue hospital bed.

my sister had already broken your heart by then, but those scars broke something else.

we were two jangling bags of broken pieces talking about music and movies and video games and anime and sex and philosophy and politics and mental illness. we both liked weird shit and werent afraid to be freaks. we were nocturnal and depressed and aimless. in the end, i guess i shared with you things i could never talk about with my sister. but then again, she had her arms full of her own problems, by then. she was growing stronger from it, we were languishing.

one night we talked about your hair. over the years youd had it blue and green and yellow and purple and blond and your natural brown and... and now your mom had bullied you into cutting it short after you’d grown it out for years. your disability was gaining on you quicker and quicker and you didnt want to add to her burden. you said you’d been looking forward to tying it up in pigtails for an upcoming concert. and i remembered how you’d once confessed you felt you had to keep growing your beard to hide the scars on your face.

we smoked from your pipe and you made me look up a video for us to watch. the diva dance from the fifth element. you said if you could choose your appearance, that’s how you’d like to be perceived. i didnt push you for more.

i did buy a beautiful shifting, shimmery shade of blue nail polish. i imagined giving it to you and painting your nails for you. i thought we would have many, many more midnight conversations.

i let us drift apart and then i moved away. i never did get around to giving you that nail polish. i still have it today. still sealed and everything. its been almost 10 years now.

i sometimes heard about you, second hand news my sister got from her friends. a few months ago, i learned you had cancer.

now youre gone.

i have a whole graveyard of relationships i wasnt able to maintain in a bruised corner of my heart and youve been very active in there. im sorry i couldnt be there for you. im sorry i was too much of a coward to reach out, while there was still time. i wish i was the kind of friend who wouldve given you that nail polish. the kind of friend you deserved.

you once told me your ultimate dream was to be shot into space in a pod, left to drift away for eternity with unlimited psychedelics and access to all the books, music, movies and art ever created, so that’s how ill think of you now. and when i imagine it, you will be shockingly beautiful, ethereal blue, lovely and shimmering. unforgettable and at peace.

[wingkink]

-> thoughts post for m9 oneshot because i dont want ot make 85 indivcidial posts that get half a note each

puts up my sign that says "it has been [0] days since matt last used the wrong pronouns for his own nb npc"

sam is always doing some shit (derogatory this time)

also. sam not knowing hold old luc is has the same energy as matt not knowing how old vex and percy's kids are. lmao

also this is fucked like do NOT take the CHILD into the battle with you . we learned nothing from "SHE HAS SIX HITPOINTS"

where is essek. bangs my fists on the floor

actually forget him where is astrid. ASTRID MENTION !!!! FOR MY LIFE!!!!

blumentrio mention doesnt count altho appreciated^

not relevant but i think she should be evil. i think too many people want her to have a redemption arc or have her as like the good person (tm) on the assembly who is like a thorn in their side bceause theyre evil and she's not. no. she should be evil as well. and hot

SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO KLILL HIM SHE WAS RIGHT SHE WAS RIGHT SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i spent the whole first 10 mins of this stream thinking this guy was so annoying and now he's a guest player. was this show designed by someone who hates me personally or

"what sort of creche is this" and then blank looks from the cast is so funny. universal non american experience

hey i just had a coffee so this is going to get progressively more manic

ESSEK MENTION 🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙

"perhaps we were too easy on him" "well we'll have to kill him this time" YOU THINK/.??? YOU FUCKING THINK??????? you know who knew that? ASTRID KNEW THAT

anyway shut the fuck up . get essek

this aggy guy ius so annoying like you will never be Spurt

i accidentally posted this help anyway contuining

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO ok sorry that's kinda funny. like chris perkins did it better but that's sitll pretty good

ARE U GOING TO ok well they cant call essek. sending is broken. shit. well they can mind meld with essek or something idk

i want him so bad <- what who said that

using wish to cast simulacrum never done before in cr history (real) anyway is anyone thinking what im thinking? anyway

HOW DO U HAVE THE ENERGY TO CAST TELEPORT (to the grove) TELEPORT (to the nein heroez) THE TOWER MIND BLANK AND WISH. U DONT.

screaming wailing and banging my fists on the table because i want to see my wizards

^^ wait. sorry. the simulacrum could have cast mind blank. im sorry for the caleb slander wont happen again

if astrid isnt here im going to kill myusefl

idk what's gonna happen when tyey go in but i know it's gonna be less cool than what im imagining but im just remembering liam saying that he once thought the two bodies he'd take back to replace his parents would be astrid and wulf . do you guys ever think about that? i do

WHER ETHE FUCK ESSEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GAY

im shaking physically btw i think the autism ghost is tyring to escape. my body

NAW COZ WHY DOES LEOFRIC SOUNDS LIKE WULF i know it's bc matt is probably just doing "zemnian man voice" buyt come ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

insane that they would be in blumenthal in the house that the drei burnt WITH ikithon rehashing that last battle of campaign 3 and wulf and astrid ARENT FUCLING THERE. kills you kills you kills yo

im now picturing the debrief where caleb has to sit down and explain this to astrid tomorrow. i think she's gonna kill him

(wheres essek)

theres only 50 minutes left in the episode like i feel like this has barely started energy. hello

anyway astrid is so so gonna kill them like this cunt is killing people and you know how many people he wouldve killed if astrid had gutted him 7 years ago? 0 <3

god using her 9th level to summon artagan is so erotic. we stan

aww i miss the twins man

10 minuites to go.

insane pacing (derogatory). sub optimal number of wizards. not worth the time commitment. 0/10 do not recommend. goodnight

[crow-ter]

You are not overthinking nor exaggerating. I have lived in 3 continents during my life, and let me tell you, ppl seem OBSESSED with having an opinion about this very specific conflict. The only ppl I noticed passionately talking about Russia-Ukraine were usually Ukrainians. There was western attention at one point but it was very quickly forgotten the moment it was time to talk about/hate Israel (and jews in general). And then a whole ass wild side was UNLEASHED. It was just like that one human experiment where, the moment ppl had permission to do heinous stuff, they embraced it like there was no tomorrow (cough cough, like those blonde ppl in the middle of europe that wore black uniforms and were told certain ppl are not rly ppl). Like the MOMENT some fuckers said its ok to hate the jews now they JUMPED on that. These ppl filmed themselves raping, killing and parading dead bodies on the streets while ppl (yes, your precious innocent citizens) cheered and screamed in joy and kicked the bodies, and what westoids took from that was either “welp, you deserved it. How dare u not letting yourselves getting killed like 80 years ago in your own historic land that was colonized by other empires?” Or “the jews are killing the poor innocent smol bean hamas and gazans that did nothing wrong ever. Time to kill a jew in some town in paris I guess” And its baffling how many ppl dont rly care about any history or nuance. They have their mind made already and thats the only echo chamber they are ready to listen to ever. And this is ONLY true for Israel. No other country, not even Russia or China or Turkey or like 10 countries in Africa who actually commit huge ass atrocities (and dont even shy away from them?) get this weird treatment. The amount of evidence and explanation Israel has to provide for literally anything is insane, and even when it does stuff wrong (bc government fucking sucks) apparently every single jew in the world is guilty. Never ever have I seen someone ask a random chinese tourist about Uygurs, or a turkish seller about armenians, or a spaniard about the entirety of latin america and catalunia/basque country.

The only good thing that came out of this whole mess is that it showed us exactly who wouldve sold us to the nazis for one corn chip.

i have not seen western obsession with a non-western conflict ever in my life on the scale that i have this last six or so weeks. and i know - i know - i’m probably being paranoid and unforgiving, but i cannot help but notice this just so happens to be The non-western conflict involving jews. i cannot help but remember this avalanche of statements and opinions started with the slaughter of 1,400 jews and the kidnapping of over 200 more.

the russo-ukrainian war is nearing the end of it’s second year. earthquakes have devestated afghanistan, turkey, iran, syria, and azerbaijan. there is an ongoing war and genocide in sudan. and that’s just the front page of rueter’s for today.

i know i’m probably overthinking and overreacting, but i can’t help but notice my peers who call themselves champions for social justice have stayed silent unless they’re sharing racist misinformation. i can’t help but notice how people only care when it’s an excuse to hate jews.

[ayeom]

does anything even matter? i’ll never get to see bolero live 😔

[beaversatemygrandma]

I’m one of those people who has literally everything you may need on me at anytime. Now. A lighter. That’s a thing i totally forgot i had in my bag. I don’t smoke. I hardly even remember why there’s been a lighter in my bag for like four years now. My candle lighter dies and now, i have the forgotten lighter to use. So hell yeah. Free forgotten lighter.

Turns out it was to go on smoke breaks with people when i was at work. I had a lighter. All the time. A lot of people would forget them, want a smoke, and no lighter means asking around. So there i am. Non-smoking. Has a lighter. I got free smoke breaks to just sit outside for a bit with coworkers. Worked out pretty damn well if you ask me.