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buckysgoldenheart · 4 years ago

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The B****, The Favorite, His Sister & Her Lover

Henry Cavill x Reader

Summary: Henry is in love with you, but you have been avoiding him for a month and you are forced to face the repercussions of your actions when your brother brings him to family dinner. (Fluffy, sorta smutty)

Words: 4979 (Sorry ☹, but I hope you like it if you decide it’s not too long).

All you wanted, well, not wanted, but all you planned for was a simple, hopefully non-stressful dinner where your mother made her lasagna and your brother eased her not-so-innocent attacks on you with his charming personality. It was a Friday. Friday’s were supposed to be relaxing, and if you could ignore the ‘subtle’ digs at your lack of relationship you might even consider it a win.

You sat at the counter, sipping at wine as your small mother slid her lasagna into the oven with two large, rose-printed oven mitts. What should have been a simple task ended up as your mother spending an entire minute adjusting and readjusting the pan until it was dead center on the rack.

“You’re letting all the heat out, mom.”

Her nearly entirely gray-haired head was practically in the oven when she said, “It has to be perfect or it won’t bake evenly, Y/N. If you ever cooked, you would know that. Men like when a woman can cook, you know.”

You rolled your eyes and took another sip of the dark reddish-purple liquid when the doorbell rang. Fucking finally, you thought, Brother dearest to the rescue. You actually loved Johnny almost more than anyone. He was your best friend, and without a doubt, you could show up at his apartment asking for help hiding a body and he would drop everything to google the best place to do it.

Probably a little too eagerly, you set your glass down, jogged to the small foyer, and whipped open the door. “Damn it, Johnny, you’re late. Mom is—”

Your body froze. Johnny was smiling wide, holding up a bottle of gin in his hand and waving it at you like a prize, standing next to the one man you had been trying to avoid for the better half of a month. You closed your parted lips and slid your tongue over them to wet the sudden dryness.

“Where’s mom?” Johnny asked.

You nodded your head in the direction of the kitchen. “Where else?”

You brother slipped by you, disappearing around the corner as he called for your mother. A sharp squeal echoed through the halls a moment later, your mother’s high-pitched tone crying ‘my baby boy,’ over and over.

Looking at the man before you: the blue eyes, the dark brown hair, the plump lips with an uneasy smile, you tried to look welcoming. You were sure you failed miserably, but who could blame you. Avoiding him had been going so well.

“Hi, Y/N.”

You swallowed. “Hi…Henry.” Awkwardly, you opened the door a little wider and stepped to the side. He cleared his throat and brushed passed you, the toned chest you had tried to forget rubbing up against your breasts. “Just, um…” You pointed in the direction of the kitchen before you realized it would just be better for him to follow you. “Follow me.”

When you saw Johnny playfully twirling your mother around to music he had turned on at some point, you internally groaned. He really was the perfect son. Perfect enough to make up for your lack of achievements. Johnny paused, large grin still in place when he saw you and Henry.

“Mom,” He said, gesturing a hand your way, “This is Henry, a good friend. We work together.”

Her eyes brightened even more at the sight of him. Tall, broad, sexy; the perfect potential suitor for her pathetic daughter. You just prayed she could keep her mouth shut for a single night.

“Henry,” She said, taking his hand in hers. “So lovely to meet you. Please, take a seat. What would you like to drink? I can get you anything.”

Henry looked anxious at the sudden onslaught of attention. You knew the feeling, though it was often directed your way in a more negative manner. Before Henry could respond, your brother set a glass of bourbon in front of him to which he responded with a nod, a smile, and a ‘thank you.’

The scene in front of you was more and more beginning to feel like an episode of The Twilight Zone. Henry was sitting at the kitchen counter of your childhood home with a drink in his hand, chatting with your mother and brother like it wasn’t weird. He looked misplaced. He was too big for the room. His shoulders were massive, and he was so, so tall, and there was something about it that had you panicking.

“Johnny!” Your brother looked your way. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

Without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and walked to your old bedroom. You shut the door with an annoyed huff once your bother’s body was barely on your side of it. He observed the room as if he hadn’t seen it a thousand times before then winced when he met your eyes, having run out of places to look. “Oh, don’t give me that.”

You crossed your arms. “What the fuck is he doing here!”

“He said he was going to be alone for the weekend and when I told him I was going home for the night, I offered for him to come.”

Raising an eyebrow, you scoffed. “And why would he accept that thrilling proposal?”

Johnny chucked and rubbed the back of his neck. “Funny thing—”

“Oh, is it?”

“I may have told him you were coming, too…”

“Is that so?” You said a little louder.

Your brother shrugged and sighed. “Look, Y/N, he loves you…a lot. I barely mentioned your name before he started to pack his overnight bag.” He chuckled at the memory. “Personally, I don’t get it. I never really felt like you outgrew that mousy, awkward phase, but I guess he sees passed that.”

Groaning, you grabbed a pillow off your bed and threw it at his head. “Johnny!”

He tossed the pillow back at you and you swatted it away. “He’s a good guy, Y/N. You could do worse. He could probably do better, but he did spend the entire drive here unashamedly asking about you, so he must think otherwise.”

“You’re an ass.”

“I’m the best and you love me.” Johnny walked to you and threw and arm over your shoulders. “Now, come on. We’ve left him alone with our mother. No one deserves that.”

----------

“Oh, I did see that…” Your mother snapped her fingers. “Oh, what was it? Uncle something, the uncle man, no that’s not it, uncle—”

“The Man from U.N.C.L.E,” Henry finished for her.

“Yes!” She smiled triumphantly as if she had come to answer on her own. “I quite enjoyed that one.”

“Well, thank you. That’s very kind of you.”

“My son says you’re Superman as well. Is that so?”

“Mom,” Your brother interrupted as he dragged you back in the room. “Leave Henry alone, alright? He gets questioned all the time. He doesn’t need it from us.”

Your mother swatted a hand. “Oh, nonsense. How am I supposed to get to know Henry here if I don’t ask questions?”

“Are you interviewing him for something?”

As she donned the oven mitts again, bent down, and pulled dinner out of the oven, your mother winked. “Maybe…”

You let out a quiet whimper, grabbed your glass, and downed the rest of your wine in half a second. Johnny nodded your way and handed you the bottle. You nodded back in appreciation and refilled your glass a little more than socially acceptable.

“Ok, now, everyone at the table,” You mother announced.

----------

The lasagna was annoyingly delicious, but the conversation ruined it. You were definitely buzzed by now, trying to scarf down the last of your food. Maybe you could feign illness and dip out before dessert. The two hour drive back to your apartment at nine p.m., tipsy or not, sounded exponentially better than staying the night like you usually did. If only it weren’t illegal and didn’t mean potentially harming yourself or someone else. Johnny watched you sympathetically, so very clearly understanding your discomfort, until your mother drew his attention at the mention of his name.

“John has a girlfriend,” She said to Henry, then looked at her son. “Where is Margaret, Johnny?”

“Business trip,” He replied. When she raised her eyebrows, undoubtedly impressed that her son found a woman important enough to be needed around the world, Johnny elaborated. “Paris this month. She is collaborating with some famous designer out there.”

“She is so smart and beautiful, very driven. It’s extremely impressive. You must be so proud of her.”

Johnny smiled at the thought of his girlfriend. He did love her in a way he’d never loved any other and you knew how hard it was for him when she was gone, so you reached out and placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I am proud of her. I am, um…I’m actually going to ask her to marry me when she gets back.”

Your mother squealed and practically jumped out of her seat. “Oh, my goodness!” Then, she actually stood and trotted over to her son, wrapped her arms around him and kissed the side of his head. Henry met your eyes as you averted them from the spectacle that was your mother, seeming to be examining every feature of your face with an undetermined expression. You wanted to look away but found yourself unable. His stare reminded you too much of the last time you saw him. The way he had studied you then, it made you melt. It was as if he was trying to figure you out, like he thought you were some kind of otherworldly being with a uniqueness he couldn’t quite find the words to describe.

You watched as his lips slowly parted and your thoughts turned dark. You mother would be ashamed, but she quickly stopped them as she fawned more over your brother. “I’ll have grandchildren in no time!” She placed on last peck on your bother’s cheek before taking her seat again, folding her napkin back over her lap. “Henry, have you met Margaret?”

Henry’s eyes finally left your face. “I have actually.”

“Oh, isn’t she absolutely lovely? Just perfect for my Johnny. I wish Y/N would find someone.”

“Mom,” You and Johnny said at the same time. Here we go. But your mother ignored your protests.

“Someone like you, Henry,” She continued and rested her hand on his forearm. “You would be perfect. You are so charming and sweet and handsome; you’d be good for her. Y/N has a horrible history with men, absolute buffoons. They never treat her right. They never love her.”

“Mom!” Johnny shouted, thankfully trying to protect you, because with each word that passed your mother’s lips, you lost the will to protect yourself.

“But a man like you—”

The sound of your chair skidding across the hardwood drowned out any other noise. You stood, threw your napkin down and, without a word or glance at anyone at the table, left for your room.

Johnny blew out a breath and shook his head. “Mom…”

Her eyebrows rose and she shrugged, her hands out in question like a small child when asked where the last of the cookies went. “What?”

“You need to lay off. Honestly. Give her a break.”

That surprised look on her face quickly shifted. “Oh, please, John. She knows I mean well. When I find her a man, she will thank me.”

“Will she?” Your brother’s lips thinned out. “I’ll go talk to her.”

Henry dabbed his mouth with his napkin and stood. “No. I’ll go,” He said, but paused when your mother put her small hand on his arm again.

“Oh, Henry, dear, you don’t have to deal with her.”

“No, mom,” Johnny interjected. “Let Henry go. I’ll stay and help you with the dishes. I think dinner is over.”

----------

The knock at your door had you groaning. You didn’t want to see anyone, not even Johnny. There was nothing he could say to make it better, to make the entire night disappear as if it never happened. All you wanted to do was lay back in your bed and stare at the little glow stars you had stuck on your ceiling when you were five. If you turned off your bedside lamp, they would shine that bright alien-green color that once had you wishing you could live with some wild, extra-terrestrial being instead of your own mother. But then the door pounded again.

“Not now, Johnny.”

You thought your simple, aggravated tone was enough to persuade anyone to leave you alone, until a moment later when the door eased open. “Not Johnny,” Henry said, and your heart skipped a beat. “Can we talk?”

Keeping your eyes on the little ceiling stars, you said, “I swear to god, if this is about my mom—”

“It’s not.”

“If it’s about the other thing, then the answer is still no.”

Henry quietly groaned, shut the door, and stepped to the side of the bed. The room was suddenly warmer as you met his eyes, and he nudged your legs to the side so he could sit. “Why not?”

You took a deep breath and scooted your body up until your back was against the wall. He still looked at you; determined, you realized. He wanted what he wanted, and he clearly had no plans to leave without answers. “That was an accid—”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Yes,” You said firmly. “It was.”

He rose a perfect eyebrow. “How so? Neither of us were drunk, we both wanted it. You told me—”

“I know what I told you.”

Henry nodded and swallowed, his eyes darting to the floor for a second before back to you. “Were you lying to me then?”

‘No,’ You wanted to say, but somehow, your lips could not form the word. Though even if they could, you weren’t sure any sound would come out.

“Tell me, how does it happen that two people can admit their feelings for one another, sleep together, and then one of those people decides to leave in the middle of the night and start avoiding the other.”

“Didn’t I just say—”

“Yea, well, I want to talk about it,” he interrupted you, and you didn’t miss the irritation starting to seep into that delectably deep voice of his.

The look on his face had you wishing you could rip out your own stomach to avoid the nausea it induced. At least I feel guilty, you thought. You could be one of those people who lies to get in someone pants and then avoids them. You didn’t lie, so there would always be that.

“Why did you leave?” He asked.

You didn’t even know. Was there actually a single reason, or where there so many little reasons that you couldn’t pinpoint one in particular. Either way, you couldn’t explain. You knew what you felt for him. You knew it scared you, and that you didn’t want to hurt him. But how do you make a stupid choice like unwrapping his arms from your body in the middle of the night while he sleeps so you could leave, and then ever be able to look him in the eye again. You weren’t strong enough for that, not when it came to him. He made you feel amazing and beautiful and loved, and you threw it back in his face.

“Y/N—”

“Can we please not do this,” You whispered.

“No, we are doing this,” Henry said, standing sharply. “We are definitely doing this.”

You stood as well, willing yourself to be as tall as him. At least then it would be fair, but he was inches above you, and you didn’t possess the magical abilities to make yourself grow after the age of 15, so… “Henry—”

He stared you down, stepping to you and forcing you back until your spine met the wall. “Just answer the damn question, Y/N. Is what you said to me a lie?”

“I…I’m…I don’t—” You stammered and, though tried to hold your ground, couldn’t stop yourself from looking away and to the tacky, blue carpet flooring. But Henry wasn’t having it. He crooked a finger under your chin and lifted until you had no choice other than to gaze into the ocean blue of his eyes and at the small brown island in the left one.

“Do you love me or not?”

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish. You wanted to say something, you had to, he wouldn’t wait forever, but—

“Yes or no, Y/N.”

…He wouldn’t wait forever…

“Yes or--”

“Yes.”

In the same breath, he cupped your cheeks and put his lips on yours. Tasting him again sent shocks through every nerve of your body. It felt like your first sip of water after surviving days without; like the feeling of sunshine on your skin after being trapped so long in the darkness you lost track of time. It felt as if his kiss held inside it everything you needed to finally be free. No more denial, no more loneliness or fear, no more avoiding him because he clearly wasn’t going to let that happen for one more minute.

When you finally gave in and parted your lips for him, Henry groaned. His tongue on yours created a fire that burst inside of you and soothed the chills his touch created, and before you had time to process another thought, you were pushing him back to your bed and straddling his lap. Warm hands traveled up and down your back until the moan you made at the feeling of his hard on pressing to your core had him wrapping his arms tight around your waist. So tight, you were not sure how you could still breathe.

You sneaked your hand between your bodies and worked to unbuckle the belt around his hips, but he pulled back just as you yanked it from the loops and tossed it to the side. You searched his eyes for any reason he may have stopped you, but all you saw was love. He reached up and brushed a stray hair behind your ear, then caressed your cheek and stroked along your cheekbone with his thumb.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, eyebrows still drawn together in confusion.

Henry smiled to slightest. “I love you.”

“…Still?” You looked away from him in embarrassment. “Even after avoiding you for a month?”

“Yes, still,” He chuckled. “Even after that.”

You let out a little whimper and touched your forehead to his. “I don’t know how you could.”

“Because it’s you, baby.” He put a hand on the back of your neck and pecked your lips once, twice. “I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

You lifted your head from his and he smiled, glancing at your lips before meeting your eyes. “How long?”

“Since your brother brought you to the Fallout wrap party.”

“Henry…”

“I know. I should’ve told you a long time ago, way before last month.” With one hand, he threaded his fingers through your hair. The other started to rub up and down your thigh.

He nudged his nose against yours and before he could kiss you again, you whispered, “I love you.”

Your words made him contentedly hum from deep in his chest, then he placed his lips on yours again, your bottom one between his two. He sucked on it and softly nibbled, and you slid your hands up his chest until you could wrap your arms around his neck. Grinding your hips down forced a groan from Henry as he went for the button of his jeans.

Your lips separated for a moment so you could hike up your skirt, and before he could, you slipped your fingers inside his pants and pulled out his cock, grasping it in your warm hand. His lips parted at your touch, his eyes staring hard into yours as you lifted up, tugged your panties to the side, and started to ease yourself onto him. His cock parted your folds and stretched you so deliciously wide that the familiar string from his size had you gasping.

“Oh, God,” Henry sucked in a breath, sheathed fully inside you. “So good, sweetheart.”

You nodded, lost for words. Nothing could describe the feeling of him inside you. He filled you the way no man ever could, in more ways than one. Every hollow part of you he sated; your body, your heart, your mind, all brought to peace just by being with him. How you let your fear get in the way of this for an entire month, you couldn’t understand. But as he held you so close nothing could get between your bodies, you pushed your thoughts to the back of your mind and started to rock your hips back and forth on his lap.

----------

“That is a lot of stars,” Henry said as you laid back in the bed and stared up at your ceiling, his arms still wrapped around you. He hadn’t let you go, even for a second. From the moment you said ‘yes’ to his question, his hands remained on your body, his skin always touching yours.

“I like space.”

“I know,” He chuckled, then pulled you on top of him. You overlapped your hands on his chest and rested your chin on them.

“Oh yea?”

“Mhm. I know an awful lot about you. I’ve been paying attention for a while.”

“I know things about you, too.”

“Oh yea?” He asked, mimicking you with a smirk and an arched eyebrow.

“I know that you’re obsessed with video games, you like to cook and you’re actually good at it, you want a family, and you love Kal more than anyone.”

“Almost more than anyone.” He smiled at you and brushed a knuckle down your cheek. “Don’t tell him though.”

You giggled but continued. “I know that you are supportive and determined and you always go after what you want--”

“Like I did with you.”

“—And there is no one in the world like you. You make me feel safe…and loved.”

He leaned closer and you rose to meet his lips. “You’re all I want.”

The corners of your mouth crooked up, but a moment later they fell and you sat up in fear. “Oh, my God.”

“What?”

“We’ve been in here,” You paused to check the small alarm clock on your bedside table, “For an hour.” Standing quickly, you looked around, wildly searching for your underwear that Henry had yanked down your legs at some point and tossed to God knows where.

He hopped up and threw his shirt over his head. When you handed him his belt, he nodded and thanked you with a smile before he began to slip it through the loops.

You sighed in relief when you found the dark blue lacy panties and pulled them up your legs. “My mother is gonna lose it. I bet the only reason she hasn’t barged in here is because of Johnny.” You ran around like a chicken with its head cut off, looking for garments and hurriedly clothing yourself. When you passed in front of Henry, he grabbed your arm.

“Babe,” He said, cupping your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. “It’s fine. Everything is going to be fine.”

----------

You stepped down the stairs and casually rounded the corner into the living room as if you hadn’t just had sex twice, to see Johnny sitting in one of two brown leather armchairs, sipping his gin and tonic. Your brother smirked when he saw your somewhat disheveled appearance, with Henry behind you, one of his large hands on your hip.

“Hey, sis.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t start. Where’s mom?”

He nodded his head to the couch you hadn’t bothered to glace at yet, where your mother’s body draped along it like a rag doll, a glint of drool at the corner of her mouth. “What the fuck?”

“Mom still cannot hold her booze.” He stood and watched your mother as she let out a loud snore. “Don’t worry, she didn’t hear you. She was too busy ranting about your lack of love life.” You swallowed and Johnny walked up to you. Raising one eyebrow, he looked between you and Henry, then took a gulp of the clear liquid in his glass. “The irony, huh?”

Before you could say a word, your brother slipped by you and patted Henry a few times on the shoulder. “Oh, and you’re free to go home,” Johnny called from the kitchen. “I have a feeling you’d both rather spend your night…well, not here, and I can look after our dear mother. You can thank me tomorrow.” He chuckled.

Henry looked down at you and smiled softly. “We can stay if you want.”

“Are you kidding?” You snickered. “Just give me a minute, then we can go.”

He grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “I’ll go wait by the car. Tell Johnny I’ll see him Monday, yea?”

You nodded and as Henry left out the front door, you made your way down the tiled hallway that led to the kitchen. You found your brother sitting at the counter and typing on his phone with a smile.

“Margaret?” You asked.

Johnny placed his phone back on the counter and took a swig of gin straight from the bottle. “Yea.”

“How is she?”

“Good. She’s doing really well out there.” He smiled, though halfheartedly, and went for the fridge to pull out your mother’s devil’s food cake. Grabbing a fork, he walked back to the counter, put the cake in the center and dug right into the side of it. You stared as he devoured bite after bite. If it were you, you would have surely faced the wrath of the small, plump woman passed out in the next room, but Johnny ate without a care in the world. “I fucking miss her.”

You picked at a fingernail as you asked, “Is it awful…to have someone you love hours away from you for weeks at a time?” You hated to see your brother miss his girlfriend so much his insides hurt, and you had no desire to be in the same situation.

“Not as awful as it probably sounds. It would be easier with you and Henry, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He gave you an amused look that only barely masked his own pain.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he and I have to go wherever the production companies take The Witcher, but you can travel freely with your job and, believe me, he’ll take you everywhere he’s filming as long as you say yes. He also might try to superglue you to his side though, so watch out for that.”

You scrunched your eyebrows together, trying to not smile as much as your brother’s words were begging you to, then forced it down with a swallow. “Johnny…” He hummed, and when you didn’t continue, he turned his head to look at you. “Thank you. I don’t know that I would’ve talked to him again if you hadn’t brought him here. I would’ve tried to forget about it, and him.”

Johnny smirked as he poked at the cake with his fork. “Nah, Henry wouldn’t have let that happen. He’s, like, an idiot for you, but a very…determined idiot.”

“Really?”

“Oh, baby sister, you have no idea.” He rubbed up and down the side of your arm the way he used to as kids in high school when he thought you were being a little too naïve for your own good. “But I’ll tell you all about the nauseatingly, sappy whining he did over you another time.”

That was a story you were sure Henry would try to keep as far away from you as possible and the thought made you smile. The close friends he probably told, or ‘whined’ to, as your brother said, would undoubtedly have a ball trying to recount every detail just to see how red Henry’s cheeks could get.

You wrapped your arms around Johnny from the side, your head just meeting his shoulder, and squeezed. He wiggled his arm out of your tight hold to tuck you into his side then kissed your forehead.

“I love you,” You said.

“I know.”

-----------

Seeing Henry leaning against your car, patiently waiting for you, made something in your chest lighten. He didn’t seem bored or annoyed or itching to rush you along, but just content to stay in that one spot until you were ready to go. You’d never had that before: a man who didn’t force you to follow every minute of his schedule, who didn’t make you feel like you could never be an inconvenience without consequences, who didn’t hold you down by the boulder on your chest, suffocating you until you complied. It made you appreciate what it meant to be able to inhale and exhale for more than just the need to keep your body from dying. It gave you the chance to see that there are two types of breathing: There’s the breathing that keeps you alive, and there’s the breathing that keeps you sane. Henry allowed you to have both, and it took the smallest of gestures to give you that relief.

He smiled bright when he saw you striding over the front yard grass to him and took your hands in his once you were within reach. “You ready?”

You nodded and rested your head on his chest, inhaling the scent you memorized a year ago. “Yours or mine?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“If we go to yours, we can be having sex sooner. Mine’s an extra fifteen away,” You said and looked up at him.

“Mine it is.” He winked and then kissed you.

---------------------------------

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kwebtv · 2 years ago

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Character Actor

John Larch (born Harold Aronin; October 4, 1914 – October 16, 2005; also credited Harry Larch) Radio, film, and television actor.

Larch had the role of Captain Ben Foster on the NBC series Convoy (1965-1966). He guest-starred in Jefferson Drum; Johnny Ringo; Riverboat; Naked City (three episodes); Stoney Burke; Route 66 (three episodes); The Fugitive (two episodes); The Invaders; The Restless Gun (four episodes); Gunsmoke (seven episodes); The Virginian (four episodes, one of which was in 1970 as the Sheriff on "The Men From Shiloh", which was the rebranded name that year for The Virginian); Bonanza; The Man From U.N.C.L.E.; Hawaii Five-0; Mission Impossible (two episodes); The Troubleshooters; Bus Stop; The Law and Mr. Jones; Bat Masterson (season one, episode 30, which aired on 27 May 1959); The Rifleman; The Feather and Father Gang; The Millionaire; three episodes of Twilight Zone: "Perchance to Dream", "Dust", and "It's a Good Life", in which he played Bill Mumy's father with Mumy as a young boy; Rawhide, in the episode "Incident At Sugar Creek" (1962) as Sam Garrett; Vega$, in the season three episode "Deadly Blessing"; Dynasty (seven episodes); and Dallas (seven episodes).

During their long acting careers, Larch and his wife Vivi Janiss performed together periodically on television. Larch, for example, appears with her in the 1968 episode "Yesterday Died and Tomorrow Won't Be Born" on the CBS weekly crime drama Hawaii Five-O starring Jack Lord. On earlier television series, they appear in the roles of Johnny and Elsie in the 1959 episode "End of an Era" on NBC's Western series Tales of Wells Fargo; as Isaiah and Rebecca Macabee in the 1960 episode "The Proud Earth" on the NBC anthology series Goodyear Theatre; as another married couple, Ben and Sarah Harness, in the 1960 episode "The Cathy Eckhart Story" on NBC's Wagon Train; and as John and Mary Clark in "No Fat Cops", the 1961 premiere episode of The New Breed starring Leslie Nielsen. (Wikipedia)

#John Larch #TV #Character Actor #Convoy #Arrest and Trial #The Twilight Zone

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sanktnikolais · 3 years ago

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mission improbable

A/N: i came back from the dead to post this mess. jhasfklhasdf im sorry it has definitely been a while. But have this from me. T-T

For @wafflesandkruge. Merry Christmas, Tiff. 🥺

Zoya and Genya’s cover as a married couple is not as solid as they had expected it to be, and it was about to be tested when Nikolai discovered that they were being monitored closely.

Or, a zenyalai the man from u.n.c.l.e. au no one asked for

Word count: 4765

To say that he was enjoying the sight of the stiffness of Zoya Nazyalensky as she walked down the rather immaculate steps of a ‘great architecture’ would be an understatement.

Nikolai watched them fondly in the distance, an amused smile gracing his features. For someone who was one of KGB’s deadliest and most effective agents, she sure stuck out like a sore thumb among the crowd. Her eyes scanned her surroundings like a hunter finding its next prey, her lips drawn to a thin line. Even her steps were slow and careful, and the redhead by her arm looked as if she was trying her best to keep Zoya engaged by pointing around and gesturing at the small band playing music at one corner of the town square. And yet even from his position, he noticed that Genya’s smile was forced as if she were trying to endure a pain in her stomach from their badly-cooked hotel meal.

Their cover for tonight was simple enough: act like any other engaged couple in the streets of Rome. It was to keep a rather ‘unsuspicious’ image around the area, as per Nikolai’s words, in which Zoya had argued with him that it was ‘unnecessary and a total waste of time’. He almost felt offended, had Genya not interfered and agreed to his idea. He had then turned to the redhead with a raised brow, and he only was given a discreet wink in return. Her amber eyes were alight with mirth, something Nikolai was very much familiar with.

A chuckle escaped his lips from the memory. If there was one thing he and Genya had most in common, it was trying to rile up the KGB agent at every chance they got. Perhaps Genya’s words had been true enough—the two of them would definitely get along just right.

With an exasperated sigh, Nikolai adjusted his position on the Vespa. The scooter was small for him, and leaning on its leather seat took a toll on his legs. So there he was, in a neatly ironed suit, sitting on the scooter like a boy waiting for his mother who was buying him some muffins in a nearby bakery. He should move from his location to the opposite side of the square to have a better view of the two women, but he decided to wait for a bit more to make sure their coast was clear.

Nikolai glanced down at his watch. It was nearing six in the evening. Soon enough, the sun would set, and they had to go back to their hotel to get ready for their appearance at the auto racing event they had been invited to.

“Alright, ladies, maybe thirty more minutes until we can call it a day,” he mumbled to himself, looking back up to the women’s position.

They were still keeping their acts up, with Zoya looking less constipated now, as they pushed further away from the crowd to another street. He took it as a cue to change his location, but a sudden feeling of dread settled in his chest. His eyebrows furrowed, scanning the area with wariness. At first, he didn’t notice anything strange. Men and women were taking a regular stroll in the streets, some of them adding to the crowd watching the band at the edge of the square. Children swaying their parents' hands as they skipped along. The occasional rings of the bicycle bells echoing when delivery men passed by.

Nothing entirely suspicious. Maybe he was just overreacting.

But the sensation still nagged in his chest, and Nikolai knew better than to shake it off. Sometimes, your gut told you something more than what you can see. He let his eyes search the crowd again. This time, he was able to notice a flash of red among the crowd. The man didn’t look weird—perhaps it was his coat that made Nikolai wince because who would wear a bright red overcoat over a green shirt?—and anyone could have just passed him as another person in the crowd if it weren’t for the lingering, pointed looks he was giving to the direction of the two women.

Nikolai’s hand itched for the gun in his holster that wasn’t there. He recognized the man from their hotel lobby when the three of them had arrived. It wasn’t difficult to forget someone who was definitely a sight for sore eyes. Putting the keys in the ignition, he readied himself to warn the ladies, but then the man had already turned into another direction, tailed by two other burly looking guys that screamed trouble.

“Oh, great,” mumbled Nikolai as he maneuvered the scooter forward. “This is going to be bad.”

By bad, he meant not for the two women he was with, but for the three men that were about to ambush them. There was some knowledge that came handy, and one of the things he had learned the hard way was underestimating Zoya Nazyalensky.

Unfortunately, those men didn’t have that knowledge.

The people made way for his scooter as he passed, several of them even giving him a few nasty looks. He heeded them no mind, the only goal driving him forward was to reach the women by the fountain before they got intercepted.

Thankfully, they stopped by the fountain. As he neared, he tried not to let his eyes linger at Zoya’s figure standing so regally to the contrast of the dull area. There was just something in her poise that radiated elegance, the kind that would capture your attention. He was right—she sure did stick out like a sore thumb, but definitely not in a bad way.

It was as if he was constantly being drawn to her, his eyes always finding themselves looking in her direction even when he hadn’t meant to, and he had to shake and remind himself to look away.

Nikolai forced his gaze downwards where he suddenly found the meter of the scooter very interesting. His heart was beating too fast in his chest. That wasn’t good news.

The spell, however, was broken as he finally had a clear sight of the two women. He had to frown when he noticed Genya was in the fountain, the waters almost coming up to her dress. She was scooping some of the liquid coming out of the small fish statue in the middle and then drinking it.

“What in the world—” Nikolai stopped near Zoya, who was glaring at the redhead. His frown deepened as he waved a hand to them. “Is there any context on this?”

Genya made an exaggerated slurping sound and spat the water back into the pool. Nikolai had to suppress a shudder. “Not really,” she replied before coming up to the fountain’s edge. “Miss Grumpy here is just finally being a good spouse and letting her wife enjoy Rome.”

When she sent him a half-wink, Nikolai couldn’t help the chuckle that came out from his lips. He glanced at Zoya out of the corner of his eye. The woman had calmed down slightly, but there was still no denying the annoyed look in her eyes. Count on the redhead’s ability to rile her up just as good as him.

“Well, hate to burst your annoying-each-other moment,” he said, more to Zoya than Genya, “you’re being followed.”

“You’re not supposed to be making contact in public,” Zoya said through gritted teeth that were disguised as a smile.

“Good evening to you too, sunshine. I have only come to bear good news.” Nikolai matched her smile. “You looked constipated.”

A dangerous glint appeared on Zoya’s eyes, and Nikolai concluded that maybe she didn’t like his joke. “Thank you,” she said, a sharp edge in her tone. “Now leave before you jeopardize our whole cover by talking to us too much.”

“I’m just saying you are being followed—”

“I know,” Zoya cut him off in a hiss, “three funny looking men. Two in brown suits and the shortest one in that shitty obnoxious green shirt and red coat. The outfit is not the forgettable type. That is exactly why you should leave now.”

“They diverted the moment you passed by the crowd of the playing band.”

This made the KGB agent give him a raised brow.

Nikolai glanced at Genya, who in return gave him a questioning look. He shrugged casually and turned back to Zoya. “They will most probably be waiting ahead of you.”

“I will handle them.”

“‘Handle’?” echoed Nikolai with furrowed eyebrows. “Just to avoid any confusion, you do mean give them your purse and act scared, right?”

Zoya looked murderous, and if Nikolai were any other person, he would have shrunk back and ran. But instead he only gave her his most award-winning grin. It made the woman's expression darken even more. “Scared?”

"You’re a renowned accountant whose fighting styles involved crunching numbers and making sure they’re correct with nimble fingers. Well, as they always said," he drawled, the smile never leaving his face, "take it like a champ."

An accusing finger was immediately pointed at him, causing him to furrow his eyebrows. But then he noticed that her hands beside her were shaking—no, trembling—badly. It looked as if she had suddenly remembered something unpleasant. "This is not the KGB's way," growled Zoya.

"But, sunshine, you're not a KGB agent as of the moment."

"I will murder you in your sleep."

Nikolai feigned a hurtful look. "That's not very nice," he said, glancing at Genya as if to ask for help. He gestured at the raven-haired woman. "Your wife is being mean to me.”

Genya only shook her head. She looked exhausted and weary, as if she had just gone through a week without any sleep. “As much as he doesn’t make any sense ninety-nine percent of the time—”

“I would like complain about that statement—”

“—I’m afraid he’s right. You should do as he says.”

This earned a sigh of relief from Nikolai. At least someone got his message. He tipped his head forward in respect. “Thank you, dearest.”

“Only for tonight, Lantsov.”

“Mean.” He turned back to Zoya, whose frown, for some reason, hadn’t disappeared from her face as if it were permanently etched on her. But even as her glares could make anyone cower back in fear, Nikolai still thought it made her stand out among the rest.

Beautiful.

Nikolai caught himself, mustering another smile to cover up his sudden thought. “So what do you say, sunshine?”

Her fists clenched and unclenched on her sides, and her jaw twitched in repressed anger. Nikolai could only hope she wouldn’t decide to unleash it on the three men in a few minutes. Otherwise they’re all doomed. “You do your way, I do mine.”

With one last glare that would have sent any regular people scampering away, Zoya took Genya’s arm and walked briskly to the opposite direction. Nikolai sighed exasperatedly as he watched their figures disappear through the streets. He should follow them, just in case.

To make sure they don’t stir up trouble, he reminded himself. But even as he started the engine again, worry still tugged at his chest for a certain KGB agent.

He just hoped his scooter still had some gas.

***

Zoya was still fuming by the time they reached the quieter parts of the area. The plan was mad, let alone the act they had to do in public. And now Lantsov was asking her to let herself get mugged just to maintain their cover?

She was very tempted to march back to the town square and strangle him. Mission be damned. But she found the soft quiet of the streets comforting, so the thought slowly flitted from her mind. At least they finally got away from the crowd that had been annoying her so much.

“A beautiful night, isn’t it?” said Genya from besider her. Then she tugged at Zoya’s arm, through gritted teeth saying, “Loosen up, dearest. You look like you’re about to murder anyone who shows up here.”

If Lantsov shows up, I would surely consider it, Zoya thought, but it was no use saying it. She really could feel her own frown straining at her face too much so she opted to stay silent. They had reached the darker side of the area around the old Colosseum, where a few leaving tourists were the only ones to be seen. Up ahead, Zoya could already make out the silhouettes of the men waiting for them.

She slowed her pace for a bit, observing the men carefully. The two larger men were casually standing on the pathway, their laugh echoing through the ruins as the man with the atrocious red overcoat was telling them something animatedly. They looked intimidating enough, Zoya would give them that, the type that would make someone think twice to cross their paths.

But Zoya wasn’t just a ‘someone’. The two of them only looked all weight and strength but no tactics. She could easily knock one off their feet and send the other howling in pain, and probably beat up the last man with the horrible fashion sense. He was sitting on a huge concrete that looked like it was once a part of the wall. It would be too easy to tip him back and send him sprawling on the jagged edges of the rubble behind him. There wouldn’t be any problem at all. But then she felt a hard tug on her arm again, bringing her out of her rather carefully strategic thought.

Genya pressed closer, her mouth near Zoya’s ear, and Zoya felt a shiver run on her skin. “I can already see you murdering them inside your head,” she said sharply. “Remember what Nikolai said.”

Almost immediately, Nikolai’s face flashed in her eyes, all in his smug and cheery glory, and his voice saying, “Take it like a champ.” Her anger flared up once more. There had never been anyone that could make her so worked up other than him. She was starting to think that the CIA trained him to be more annoying than to be actually good in fieldwork.

“Why do we even have to go this way?” Zoya hissed back. It didn’t make any sense. They could just go back and take the long way to their hotel.

“We’re going to have to cross them otherwise,” said Genya. She looked exhausted already, and Zoya found herself almost relenting to her reason. “They would still corner us in a different place, it’d be easier to just get over it.”

Zoya pinched at the bridge of her nose, trying to ease the pain that started to pound behind her eyes. This wasn’t the KGB’s way. Hell, this wasn’t even her way. Acting scared? In some other world or life or timeline maybe, but not here. And yet it seemed that all odds were against her, leaving her no choice but to comply with their mission’s demand.

If only it didn’t involve a possible world catastrophe, she wouldn’t have to tread lightly around their enemies and did this in her own way.

The men’s voices grew louder as they neared them. Beside her, she felt Genya squeeze her arm again in a warning, and Zoya had to take in a deep breath to calm herself. The urge to snap at Genya that she didn’t need to be reminded of what was at stake was at the tip of her tongue, but Zoya stood her ground. Genya just wanted to make sure their mission went smoothly—she didn’t deserve to receive the other end of Zoya’s growing frustration.

They finally neared the men, and immediately, their voices stopped. Their eyes were fixated on them, looking at them with such hostility Zoya had to bite her tongue so the pain would keep her steady. For a moment, the men only followed them with their eyes as they passed. It was almost a breath of relief when they were already a few paces away, before one of them spoke.

"That's a nice purse you got there," a thin voice said, the sound almost like a broken toy trumpet still being used by a kid. It was the one with the horrible fashion sense, and Zoya figured that there wasn’t anything more to expect from the man besides atrocious.

Where Zoya wanted to give in to her urge to handle these men herself, Genya still had the patience to turn back to them with a smile. "Thank you," said the redhead, her calm expression never leaving her face. “Have a good night.”

Zoya casted her a questioning look, to which Genya only replied back with a raised brow and pulled her along further. But one of the burly men had already blocked off their path. He was at least a full head taller than both of them, and he eyed them downwards with malice. Zoya’s jaw twitched in suppressed fury, and she could vaguely feel the grip Genya had on her arm. They turned around to the direction of the voice.

“That purse suits my wife more,” the horrendous-fashioned man said again. A smirk was evident on his lips, as if he was enjoying this. “It would be a waste to just let something simple be worn by a high-end woman.”

“Can’t afford to buy your own wife the things she deserves, then?” said Zoya smugly, which earned her a hard pinch on her skin. But she barely even felt it. It made the man snarl in return, and Zoya earned it as a win. “That’s a shame.”

Genya let out a laugh, but Zoya could hear the tinge of nervousness in her voice. “Oh, my wife is just joking,” she said. “She could be a jokester even with a deadpan face like that.”

How Genya was still able to hold back, Zoya wasn’t entirely sure. She knew the redhead could handle them just as well as her, and Zoya had no idea where Genya’s patience and faith in their plan to act scared was coming from. She needed to know where Genya was getting it because her hand was trembling again from her sides.

“Here you go,” said Genya mildly. She shrugged the purse off her arm, getting her wallet inside before handing it to the man as if it was the easiest thing to do. “Go make your wife happy.”

The man in the red overcoat only looked at them pointedly. Then his hand shot out to grab Genya’s wrist that was holding her wallet, and it took everything in Zoya not to break his arm in the next second.

Don’t touch her, was what she wanted to growl, but still, she bit her tongue yet again. If Genya wanted to play this game, then Zoya would try what she could as well. Albeit only a hair’s breadth away from losing her patience.

“I’d take that as well,” the man said as he took the wallet from Genya’s hand.

Genya gave it all too willingly. “Alright, guess we’re just on the same page of wanting to keep our wives happy,” she said with another smile. “So can you let us through now? My wife is not a big fan of the cold.”

The man regarded them thoughtfully, raising a hand to his chin as if to think of something else to annoy them with. “Alright, sure.” He tipped his head down in respect. “Have a good night.”

Zoya shoved his hand away from Genya’s wrist and gave him a glare. He only held up his hands in mock surrender. Genya had to turn them both away before Zoya could change her mind on holding herself back. The burly man standing in their way stepped back, finally opening the path for them. He gave Zoya a shit-eating grin that made her hand twitch on her side.

“Enough glaring, dear,” Genya murmured as she tugged Zoya along. “Don’t mind them anymore. Just keep your attention on me.”

Easier said than done, but Zoya still tried to do what Genya said. They hadn’t even walked past the burly man when the red overcoat guy spoke again. “Wait.”

They stopped. Zoya slowly turned around to face him. “What more?”

He gave her a smirk, the kind that spoke of pure smugness and victory, and Zoya didn’t like what he was insinuating. “That is a nice watch you got there.”

Zoya blinked, her thoughts spiraling out of her mind. She instinctively hid her arm behind her as if to shield the watch from the man and hope he forgot it. No, he wasn’t going to take this. She could play along with anything, no matter how crazy the plan was. She didn’t care. But this—this was something else entirely.

Not this.

“This isn’t anything branded,” she said through gritted teeth, shoving her hand deeper into her coat pocket. “You won’t get any value from this.”

The man only shrugged. “It looks good, though. I’d take that as well.”

Genya looked at her expectantly. “Give him the watch, dear.”

No, her mind instantly protested, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Damn her determination she had for all the missions given to her. She turned to Genya, hoping that she would understand that she couldn’t do it. But Genya only shook her head, a pitiful look on her face.

Zoya kept her arm inside her coat for a moment longer, still hesitant to comply, before slowly raising her wrist and taking off the watch. Each of her movements was done in a drag, as if to prolong the time she still had with it. But all the while, she kept her face impassive, devoid of letting any emotion show. She didn’t want them goading her further.

She clutched at the strap after she finished unfastening the watch and was just about to hand it to the man with the red overcoat, but not even halfway through Zoya handing the watch to him, he had already snatched it from her.

"There you go," he said as he examined the watch with narrowed eyes.

Zoya watched him calmly, but her insides were already burning in hatred. His features were already etched in her mind, branded like an iron, and she vowed to herself that she would find him later on.

But then he hummed, a disappointed look on his face. "I don't know why you're still holding on to this," he said. "It looks like an ancient piece of junk."

Her fist flew to his face even before she could even realize it. There was just a sudden sound of bones cracking, followed by a pained howling, and then the feel of Genya’s arms pushing her back.

When she finally blinked out of her trance, Zoya saw the man in the red overcoat sprawled on the ground, a hand holding his bloodied and broken nose, and his cronies were on his sides as they tried to help him up. Her hands trembled at her sides again.

More. Do worse. He deserves it.

She took a step forward, ready to give in to the urges, but Genya held a hand to her chin and turned Zoya’s head to her.

“Zoya,” Genya hissed. “Enough.”

Zoya released a shaky breath, willing her hands to stop from trembling so, so badly, and instead she tried to focus on Genya’s amber eyes, how they seemed to burn like a star glowing at its brightest in the night sky.

“You’re okay.” Genya’s voice came in a whisper this time, soft and soothing.

Her grip to Zoya’s chin went to her cheek, and Zoya almost wanted to give in to the comfort of Genya’s touch. But one of the burly looking men had risen, already poised and ready to lunge at them. He would have thrown the punch in the next second had it not been for the loud whistle that pierced through the silent night.

“Oi! What’s going on there?”

The man’s expression broke into a panicked one, and he immediately went back to his colleagues and helped his sprawled companion from the floor up to his feet. The horrendously-fashioned man glared at Zoya above his bloodied nose as he was dragged away from the scene, and she mirrored his look until they were too far out of sight.

Zoya released an exasperated breath and stepped away from Genya. She didn’t want to be near her especially when she felt like hitting something—or someone.

“Damn it to hell,” she growled.

There was a sound of an engine nearby, and she looked up to see the person she had been wanting to hurl over a rooftop approaching them. Zoya didn’t know if it was her anger at him, or at their plan, or most likely at both, but she met him halfway as his scooter neared them.

Nikolai had a tired look on his face. “Not very good at this whole subtlety thing, are you—”

Her foot had already connected to the scooter’s headlight, causing him to tip sideways with a yelp. The CIA agent landed hard on the ground beside his Vespa, and he gave her a look that was half-shocked and half-insulted.

“Is this how you thank me for saving you from your trouble?” He waved the whistle that was tied around his collar. He got up and dusted at his pants and coat with a frown. “That’s not very nice.”

“Saved me from trouble?” echoed Zoya with a dark laugh. If it was some other time, she could have begrudgingly thank him or even feel any gratitude towards him. But now, there was only anger and hate and fury eating at her insides. She pointed a finger at his face, the words slipping past her lips before she could even think of it. “Those men just stole my aunt’s watch.”

Nikolai’s face softened for a moment, but it was gone as soon as Zoya could blink. He let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Aren’t you supposed to be an accountant?”

“Yes,” she admitted in a growl. Her fist clenched at her side, still trying to keep herself from lashing out. She didn’t know why she had expected him to understand her at least. It left a sour taste on her tongue and a stinging feeling in her chest, and she didn’t like how it bothered her. “But any other person would have tried to fight back. A Russian agent would have killed them both. You wouldn’t have any trouble unless you start questioning my actions again, Lanstov.”

“So you’ve actually thought this through?” His question sounded curious enough, but his tone suggested otherwise.

“Would you like to finish what we’ve started in Berlin?”

“Oh, now we’re getting somewhere. Remind me of that again?”

Zoya had just taken a step forward when a stern voice cut through the space between them.

“Stop.”

The two of them looked to the direction of the voice. It was Genya, and she was looking at them like a mother trying to lecture her children.

Genya put a hand up to her temple, rubbing circles on her skin as if to soothe a headache. “You two are supposed to be the ones to lead this mission. So why am I playing the leader, huh?”

Zoya felt a bit guilty, and she was glad she wasn’t the one when she saw Nikolai have the same look out of the corner of her eye. “Genya—”

“Look,” Genya cut her off with a raised hand, “Either you start looking like you know what you’re doing, or I’m out of here.” Then she walked off.

They were left to stare at the redhead’s retreating form, and just like that, all of her anger was replaced with exhaustion. This mission was a whole mess, and if she were being honest, she knew it was an understatement. First, meeting Nikolai again, and then having her watch stolen in the worst way possible. Now she owed Genya an apology. Talk about her long list of things to stress about.

“Well, now it looks like we both owe her an apology,” Nikolai said with a sigh.

“Shut up.” Zoya gave him a glare, wishing it was enough to send him sprawling back in fear or melting him to mush. But she forgot that this was Nikolai Lanstov, the most infuriating man that was immune to any murderous intent she was giving him.

She would never know how and why he was putting up with her.

With one last glare to the CIA agent, she stomped off to leave for their hotel.

A drink definitely sounded terrific.

#zoyalai #zenya #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #genya safin #king of scars #my writing #T-T #sorry if it's a mess #it kinda felt rushed too adkjsfhashjdf #anyway #zenyalai fits this au so much #and i would die in this hill #a forever iconic au #hope you like this one tiff ;-;#no beta and edit we die like rex lapis

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writings-of-a-british-fangirl · 4 years ago

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FEBRUARY WRITING PROMPTS

all credit to @nosebleedclub for all the prompts; here is the original post!!

here is the master list for the writing prompts; as the month goes on i’ll be updating the drabbles here

FEBRUARY WRITING PROMPTS MASTERLIST-

1. Black coffee Bucky Barnes x Reader; Bucky is your roommate, and finds you in the kitchen at 6am. You both need black coffee.

2. Abandoned terrace Sirius Black x Reader; Sirius returns to you after what feels like a life time. It doesn’t matter where you are a magical castle or an abandoned terrace, you’ll accept into your arms again regardless.

3. The 7:10 train Skinny!Steve Rogers x Reader; You return home from work and go to speak to your roommate: Steve. When you do find him, you know something is wrong. He’s enlisted, and he’s leaving on the 7:10 train. [PART 2: Launch]

4. Conversations in the kitchen Bill Weasley x Reader; You wake up alone in your usually shared bed and make your way down to the kitchen to spend the morning with your lover.

5. Volatile Ivar x Reader; After his encounter with Margrethe, Ivar is volatile and furious- and the only person he can be comforted by is you. Ivar hates being vulnerable around anyone else, but you.

6. Ivy league Peter Parker x Reader; You can barely sleep because of nerves; tomorrow is the day you find out if you got into your dream Ivy League university. Luckily, your boyfriend is there to calm you down.

7. Nor’easter Din Djarin x Reader; You wait out the storm with your small green son, Grogu, and wait for your Mandalorian to return back to you.

8. Hallucinations Peter Parker x Reader; Peter hasn’t been the same since the events with Mysterio and Tony’s death, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not going to be there for him.

9. Nebula Loki x Reader; Loki tries to do what he thinks is best for you, but only ends up hurting you more. Can he fix things under the light of the stars and the nebula?

10. Candlelight Remus Lupin x Reader; You sneak out past curfew in Hogwarts in an attempt to get food from the kitchen. You bump into a familiar figure, and your faces are lit up in the candlelight.

11. Poppy Captain Rex x Reader; You are pleasantly surprised when your secret boyfriend returns from his tour, and even more pleased when he has a gift for you: a red poppy.

12. Rosy cheeks Bucky Barnes x Reader; You meet Bucky on a morning jog, and find yourself going for coffee with the handsome stranger that has blush, rosy cheeks.

13. Necktie Eleventh Doctor x Reader; You have another close escape in an adventure with the Doctor, only his necktie doesn’t make it.

14. Launch Skinny!Steve Rogers x Reader + Steve Rogers x Reader; PART 2 of The 7:10 Train. You launch yourself into writing to Steve as soon as you get the letter from him. And, also suprise him with some photos to show how you really feel.

15. Diary Wanda Maximoff x Reader; Part of you knew you shouldn’t be reading Wanda’s diary... The other half had to know how she felt about you.

16. Baby blue Ivar Ragnarsson x Reader; Even when you should be mad at him, you can’t help but notice how blue Ivar’s eyes are... Baby blue.

17. Hotel room Dean Winchester x Reader; You have to pretend to be married to Dean for a case, and your feelings for him are only brought closer to the surface when there’s only one bed in the hotel room.

18. Cold water James Moriarty x Reader; You had been out of the game for a while but a particular case- a particular clue draws you back in. You know its the work of Moriarty; you just don’t know why he wants you by cold water.

19. Snowdrops Thranduil x Reader; It’s your wedding day and you can’t help but think today is perfect, especially with your favourite flower (snowdrops) braided in your hair.

20. Class differences Steve Rogers x Reader; Howard introduces Steve to one of his socialite friends and Steve can’t help but be in awe of you- despite the class and wealth differences.

21. Homesick Bucky Barnes x Reader; You enjoy spending time with Bucky, but can’t help but wonder if he misses the 40s: if he’s homesick.

22. Angel wrought 10th Doctor x Reader; Your adventures with the Doctor never cease to amaze you. You appreciate the moment of silence to appreciate it even more.

23. Flicker Bill Weasley x Reader; By the flicker of your candle light, you head downstairs because you can’t sleep. Much to your delight, your boyfriend finally makes it home from a late shift.

24. Sunday morning Winter Anderson x Reader; Every Sunday morning, you can be found spending time with your best friend and long time crush, Winter. However, the cult gets in the way of that.

25. Playground Din Djarin x Reader; You had missed your small green son ever since you let him go. Today, you were finally seeing him again: you hoped he was having fun in his Jedi school and playground.

26. Before sunrise Vision x Reader; You have been struggling with the aftermath from Ultron, and you find comfort in the unlikiest of places.

27. Bookends Loki x Reader; You visit Loki in his cell after his invasion of Earth. Everything has changed and you feels worlds apart.

28. Up the mountain Stever Rogers x Reader; PART 3 of the 7:10 Train; He knew he had to say good bye but he just didn’t understand why it had to hurt so badly.

~~~

WANT TO REQUEST A CHARACTER FOR A CERTAIN DAY?

request here [in my ask box]; undercut is all the fandoms i write for!!

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER- All seasons, most characters

AMERICAN HORROR STORY- All series, and all characters

DC- The Flash; Supergirl, DC Legends Of Tomorrow; Arrow; Batman V Superman; Wonder Woman

DIVERGENT- Movie and book characters

DR WHO- From 9th Doctor onwards (including companions from those series too)

GAME OF THRONES- All series, all characters

HARRY POTTER- All books/movies, all characters, all generations (Note that I haven’t read The Cursed Child, yet)

JURASSIC WORLD- Not Jurassic Park; just characters from JW

KINGSMAN SECRET SERVICE- All character from the movie

LORD OF THE RINGS/THE HOBBIT- All movies/books, all characters

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.- All characters

MARVEL- Avengers (Spiderman will be the Tom Holland version), X Men (all movies), Guardians Of The Galaxy, Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., Agent Carter, Daredevil

MERLIN BBC- All series, all characters

PEAKY BLINDERS- All series, most characters

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN- All movies, all characters

SHERLOCK BBC- All series, all characters

STAR WARS- All movies and TV Shows (prequels, original triology, sequels, Clone Wars, Rebels and the Mandalorian)

STRANGER THINGS- All characters (if a request is sent in for the four boys, or eleven, they must be platonic, ie: friends, sister/brother-ly, family, or enemies)

SUPERNATURAL- All characters (I’m only on season 12, tho)

TEEN WOLF- All series, all characters

THE 100- All series, all characters

THE HUNGER GAMES- All movies/books, all characters

VIKINGS- All main characters

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snickety-lemons · 2 years ago

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Something sure is going up here, and lemme tell ya, it ain't just the elevator.

Also can we just...

'Servicing' and 'Maintenance'??? You literally, couldn't have a more obvious sign of what's actually happening if you tried.

…and the very sexy elevator scene in full // 4x03 // Illya Kuryakin x Napoleon Solo [8/∞]

#oh my god SO kinky #it is NOT subtle at all #PHEW #canon elevator sex #the married men from u.n.c.l.e.#the man from u.n.c.l.e.#tmfu

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snickety-lemons · 2 years ago

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The Domestic Bliss Affair

(so I guess I got rid of this, sks, here it is again for my beloved fellow Cousins in the world.)

They have only just closed the door, walked into the hallway of their home for the evening when- “Папочка! Папочка!” A small, blonde headed girl comes racing around the corner; directly towards Napoleon. Who of course, instantly scoops her up into his arms; laughing heartily. “Привет, Esfir.” Illya is beaming at the sight of them, inside and out, but affects a hurtful pout. “And what, nothing for me?” “Of course for you, Батя!” She squeaks and impatiently wiggles her tiny hands for him. He warmly chuckles, and embraces her; giving their sweet girl a peck on the cheek. “You are learning very well, рыбочка.” The Russian agent whispers to her. Somewhere along the line, Napoleon has snuck his arm around Illya and is now leaning to cuddle with both husband and child.

This… contentment, it seems so unreal at times; the darker haired spy still can’t quite believe it’s something that belongs to him. Seeming to sense his thoughts, Illya comes in to kiss him. Deep, but ever so soft. “Это реально, мой дорогой. Now, and always. I promise, Napoliosha.” Then he feels something suddenly pulling on his pant leg, and looks downwards. “Ah, and speaking of real…” “Hi, daddy! I’ve been waiting for you to come home for so long. Did you have a good day at work? Is that a new tie? It looks great on you.” The little black haired boy currently vibrating with excitment, and an enormous smile then glaces at his Russian father through his lashes. “Daddy… Remember you promised you were going to let me pick a kitten?” The laughter that erupts from his chest… With his arms now occupied with their daughter, it’s Napoleon who pries their son off of Illya. “He has also been learning very well…” Illya shakes his head, though still chortling and widely grinning. “I have no idea what you could possibly be referring to, Mister Kuryakin-Solo…” The American replies with a faux huff of offense, pouting as he strokes the boy’s hair. “And hello to you too, Xander, by the way… I had a very good evening at work, in case you were interested to know.” He giggles, looking rather contrite and hugging his father’s face. “Sorry, pop. Hello! And of course I wanna know! Tell me all about it?”

Illya and Napoleon look directly at each other, then with a glow in each of their eyes; linking their hands together. They have each other, a cozy home, and two truly wonderful children. Life, could not be sweeter.

~ Папочка - daddy/dear daddy

Привет - hello

Батя - father

рыбочка - little fish

Это реально, мой дорогой - this is real, my darling ~

#short and sweet #and she knew it complete...#napollya #domestic bliss #a blip #spies who love spies #otp: we have each other #the married men from u.n.c.l.e.#the man from u.n.c.l.e.#mfu tv #lemons writes

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itsthestutterforme · 4 years ago

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You Left Me (A Man From U.N.C.L.E.)

Y/N was undercover when she met Illya. They both fell in love with each other, but Y/N was taken out of the mission and Illya never saw hed again. They meet again for the nuke mission and Illya has a very interesting reaction.

Characters: Napoleon Solo, Gaby, Illya x reader,(moderate smut)

"Wait a minute, you said that there were already three undercover agents on this assignment?" I ask. "Yes," "Then why do you need me?" "Because you can back up every position." "They're men, it's going to be hard for their meat heads to process." "When has that ever stopped you?" I roll my eyes as a deep sigh left my lips. "I'll be there,"

I land in Berlin an hour before the meeting and take a taxi the address the boss sent me. I keep my walk down the brick pathway to the restaurant filled to the brim with primarily male customers. They must be apart of a ruse. "Y/N, it's so good for you to make it," Boss says.

The three other men with them looked to me and one stood up. I look to the man to notice that it was Illya, the man I dated when I was undercover for a mission. "You were a spy?" he says angrily. "Easy honey," "Do not call me honey!" He flips the table and makes his way over to me .

What are you to do, Y/N? I ask myself. Before my mind could process, I am being lifted off the ground by my throat and thrown on the table. My brain started to pulsated against my skull. I hold his wrists in my hands and wrap my legs around his neck. I apply pressure to throat and his grip on my throat started to decrease.

Once he loosen his grip enough, I hit his chest with both of my legs, sending him crashing into another table. "Are you serious? You have the audacity to put your hands on me?!" I stand over him and press my knife against his groin. "I should kill you for that." I add. "That's enough, Agent Y/N." Boss says. When Illya tries to get up and kick him back down. I cross my arms and say, "You failed to tell me who was involved,"

"Didn't think it mattered, agent. We'll let you all get acquainted." Boss, another man and the rest of the restaurant left. "I was surprised to hear that you were apart of this. Even more surprised that he was the case you were demoted for." "Kiss my ass, Solo. I wasn't ecstatic when I found out I was helping you either." Illya groans as he stands up from the ground. "Well this is going to be interesting," Solo says.

The next day, me and Gaby decided to go shopping with Solo. I had bags full of clothes from Coach and Versace and Gaby was in the middle of trying on clothes from Dolce and Gabbana when Illya came. "Let me see what you bought," Illya says as he approaches me. He reaches for the bag and I slap his hand away.

"You don't have to worry about what I'm wearing because I'm not the one you're married to. She is." "I'm sorry?" Gaby asks. "Undercover business. It makes sense to have you and Illya are engaged because it makes for an easier way in, don't you think?" "She has a point," Solo says. "Great. See you guys in Rome." I take my bags with me and hop into my car to leave.

Y/N was shopping at the nearest grocery store from the hotel. Solo was explaining to Iilya that it has been over an hour since she left. Illya told Solo to keep an eye on Gaby while he went searching for Y/N. Solo and Gaby thinks it's obvious that Y/N and Illya still have feelings for each other. Y/N was going to a stroll around some car shows emphasize her cover as an engineer.

Illya was following her and Y/N was about to go home until she realized that she was being followed by both Illya and a thug. She turned on to an alleyway and hid behind the dumpster. She waited until the thug passed behind slicing his achilles tendon. She thought that was the end she heard a gun cock. Everything happened in the blink of an eye, her being pushed into the wall and Illya being shot.

Y/N opened fire on the other thugs until there was no movement. "You're such an idiot." she says as she examines him. He has a bullet wound in his left arm so she decided to take off her belt and put it above the wound to lessen the blood flow. She helps him to his feet and drives him back to the hotel.

They took the elevator to her room and took out the first aid kit. Before tending to his wound, she called Solo and Gaby and told them what happened. A few seconds later, they walked into the room. Y/N had a flask of vodka that she offered him. "No thank you," "Drink it," she enforces.

Y/N POV

Illya finally drinks the vodka and I take some curved tweezers to dig the bullet out. His hand finds its way to my hips as I continue to dig around for his bullet. "What happened?" Gaby asks. "A couple of thugs were following me. I had it handled but he stormed in and blew the whole thing. Getting shot in the process." I explain.

I finally take out the bullet and press some fresh gauze to clean up the fresh blood. "The bullet didn't knick any major arteries, that's good." I say before pouring some rubbing alcohol in the wound. Illya's face rests on my shoulder and a quick chill came over my body. I thread the needle and set the tip of the needle under the fire before stitching the wound up. He squeezes my hip and leans his face deeper into my chest.

"Alright, he's all set, Gaby." I say as I push him so that he is sitting upright. "Wait," Illya says as he holds my hand gently. "We'll, uh, give you guys a minute." Solo says before leaving the room. "What?" "Answer this question and I'll leave you alone." "Alright," He drops his hands and asks, "Did- was anything that happened between us real?"

"Why did you think I was a complete bitch to you before I left? I was internally fighting myself and lost." I shove my hands in my pockets before adding, "So they pulled me out and never put me in a undercover relationship again," I slowly looked up to meet his gaze. Its been so long since someone looked at me like that.

His ocean blue eyes dilated and he licks his lips before saying, "Lock the door." His accent became thick and his voice was husky. "No," "No?" "You're injured. Anything we do could pull your stitches." "The last time I checked, I wasn't left handed." I take a moment to let that sink in before shaking my head no.

"Don't make me put you over my knee," he whispers into my ear, sending cold chills down my body. "Lock the door," he adds. I release a sigh I didn't know I held and I walk towards the door. I locked the door and left my hand on the cold, wooden door. I feel one hand over mine and the other on my waist. I lean the back of my head on his chest.

He presses a kiss on the crook of my neck. I am turned out and pressed against the door. He links one of his hands with mine and uses his left hands to wrap my around my throat. He presses a warm kiss on my lips and I moan when he swipes his tongue across my lips. I pull away from his hand and hold the back of his neck as I continued to kiss him.

My body craved his touch more and more with every kiss. It felt like my entire body was on fire. He tries to lift me into his arms but I pull his hands away from hips. I walk him to the backwards on to the bed. He falls on his back and pulls me closer by my neck as I straddle his upper torso. I pull away from his lips to take off my shirt and I unbuckle his pants with one motion.

I slide my hands into his pants and slowly pump his soft member. He arches his back softly and presses his head into the bed. I kiss his neck warmly and pick up the pace with my pumping. He grabs the headboard and continue pumping until he came all over my hand. He lays normally on the bed and breathes heavily. I lick the cum off of my fingers and kiss up his stomach and chest.

He holds the back of my head and presses more kisses on my lips. He used his right hand to unbuckle my pants and pulls his boxers down. I sink myself into his member and slowly bounce on it. I softly moan into his mouth as I feel the tip of his dick brush up against my g-spot.

I grab the headboard of the bed and continued to find the spot over and over again. The headboard slammed against the wall rhythmically and my legs clenched as we both finish. I slide off of his member and fall to the side. "I missed you," he says, making me chuckle. He wraps an arm around me and kisses my neck warmly. "I've missed you too," I say as I caress his arm.

Boss's voice echoes in my mind. "We're going to pull you out," "What? Why? I thought you needed me here?" "You were right. They've got it handled and we need you elsewhere." "How much time do I have?" "Until tomorrow morning. Spend your time wisely."

"Y/N?" Illya's voice, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I was just thinking about something," "Something like what?" "Something you're not going to like." I turn around so I am facing him. "Boss pulled me out of this mission." "What? Why?" "Im needed somewhere else," "What time do you leave?" "At first light tomorrow,"

"No," "Excuse me?" "You're not going." "You and I both know what happens to us when we don't comply, Illya." "Not if we run," "Don't be ridiculous. We'll never pull that off." "You're right. We couldn't, but you could." I sit up on the bed and cross my arms. I chew on the inside of my cheek in thought.i shake my head in disbelief. This is such a manic idea, but you only live once, Y/N. You might as well do it with the man you love.

"We leave within the hour," I whisper and he grabs the side of my face and presses a kiss on my cheek. "There's something else you should know," "Da," "I set everything up with the thugs. I wanted them to follow me because I knew that they had your father's watch." "Why didn't you say that if you knew I was following you too?" "That would have ruined the surprise," "You never seize to amaze me," he says with a smile.

#armie hammer imagine #armie hammer #smut #illya #man from uncle

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theniftycat · 4 years ago

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I finally understood it. At least for myself.

The only reason why I personally wouldn't be able to recommend something to someone is if I was concerned it would make them feel bad. For example, I always make sure to say that The Man from U.N.C.L.E., my favourite show in the world, has its flaws and is of its time. And I hope that it makes it easier for people who can get offended by the 60s insensitivities, see for themselves if they're okay with it.

I'd never say it's problematic. Because a problem calls for a solution. And if I recommend it to you and say it's problematic, the solution would be to watch it and feel guilty and find all its problems and never enjoy a minute. I'm not into sado-masochism.

Calling something problematic and not giving a solution (like, boycott it MEANINGFULLY, pirate it, tag it so I don't see it) is unhealthy. Let's say, it's problematic. The solution is not to do it.

For example, please, ask me to boycott Nestle and never get Disney+. I'll do that and feel good. Ask me to never buy a Roman Polansky movie, I'll gladly pirate it and laugh about it. Ask me to tag Alfred Hitchcock, I will, maybe I just won't reblog him at all and we'll all be content.

But if you just tell me that, rightfully say, Edgar Allan Poe is problematic, I'll agree with you. But what if I only read him casually at school. Or I read some stories and really loved them feeling like they showed me something about myself. Or if he is my favourite author ever.

Boycotting him is meaningless. His works are in public domain. He'll be taught at schools (which is for the better) whether I like it or not.

If I'm a casual reader, I won't really care or even gloat. If he helped me at some point, I'll feel guilty about enjoying him. If I'm a fan, I might feel defensive. Or I already would have known that and won't care.

What was done there is making some people feel useless guilt and angering some other people. Plus, some people gloated and only they won. You see how there's no positive results there?

If you personally hate Poe and his guts and his casual enjoyers, and you just meant to troll, congrats. People who never read him, will be less likely to do so. And maybe they could benefit from his writing.

What you could say instead is that he was married to his teenage cousin, what a fucking awful thing, please tag your mentions of him, I don't wanna see them. This way people will know what to do. Tag his mentions. Somebody will go and read about him and make their own conclusions. Nobody will be defensive. Somebody will be horrified. Others will learn how was it even legal. Some will analyse his texts and see if it's visible in them. Some with be in denial (but like those who are really far gone). Some will do nothing.

People won't argue with you, you just stated the facts. If they don't tag him, you'll know who to unfollow. While if you just call him problematic, people will unfollow you.

(Here I mentioned useless guilt and I need to elaborate. When people feel guilty and can't do anything about it, it often stays with them. And often that unaimed pain finds its direction in an arbitrary way. It might even lead to bigotry.)

Give people something.

Plus, make it positive. If you call a historical musical problematic, I doubt that many people will get interested in learning that history. More people will do it if they're left to enjoy it in peace. If you want to bring up something bad, just present it as a fact. Don't say that the musical was evil for including or not including it. Because it's not the musical's job. It probably became famous solely by chance. It could be one of dozens musicals every year that nobody heard about.

If you criticise a work of art, it's better to do it by text, but it depends on which school you endorse, of course. And whether you think the author is dead or the auteur is a god or the author and the work are equally great, it's still worth it interacting with art however flawed it is, if only to learn how its flaws exist, why they are there and what made them go overlooked.

Whenever you just say "thing bad", the people who really hear you are always the vulnerable. It's fans with RSD, marginalised fans who feel like they betray their peers etc. Cishet white NT men hardly use tumblr or follow your blog.

Like, if you say that Russia is problematic, I'll feel offended not because I disagree, but because it would feel like it's aimed at me, an Asian queer nb disabled ND person just because I live here. You either call out the government or a specific historical person.

I know I also make these mistakes. I'll try to do better.

Please, remember, give people something to do. Say "Freakazoid has some fatphobic episodes, careful if you want to watch it!", say "tag Henry Cavill, please!" say "Dostoyevsky was antisemitic, if that upsets you, don't read him".

Don't just ruin people's fun, especially if it hurts nobody. And if it hurts you or some other people, ask the rest to accommodate you.

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snickety-lemons · 2 years ago

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This is it- this is the show. Softness, pure adoration.

I even think it sadly took me a few times -just because of the episode feels as a whole- until I saw how they were both looking at each other. That's love right there, they love each other so? MUCH???

My heart.

#the married men from u.n.c.l.e.#spies who love spies #and i love them #tmfu #the man from u.n.c.l.e.

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nettlestonenell · 4 years ago

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Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

· IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

· Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

· IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

· DOES Gaby have a German accent?

· Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration.

· If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

· How old was Gaby during the war?

· What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

· That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

· Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

· That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

· Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

· Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

· Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

· It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

· Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

· Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

· Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

· You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

o I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

· “He fixed the glitch.”

· Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

· “I left my jacket in there.”

· The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

Someone says “winkle” out.

· Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

· Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

· That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

· Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

· This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

· Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

· Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

· Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

· Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

· Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

· I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

· More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

· A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

· HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

· C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

· Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

· Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

· Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

· “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

· Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

· Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

· CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

#tmfu #tmfu 2015 #ilya kuryakin #napoleon solo #gaby teller #henry cavill #armie hammer #alicia vikander #the man from uncle 2015 #the man from u.n.c.l.e.#the man from uncle #i don't know what this film's tags are meant to be to keep it from popping up in the TV series searches Sorry

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interstellarflare · 5 years ago

Text

FANDOM WRITING PROMPTS

Is that supposed to impress me?

Why are you here? I told you to leave.

I thought you were never coming back.

I was hoping you would be more civil about this.

No matter what happens, I won’t let anything happen to you. Got it?

You wouldn’t understand, please just, just leave me alone.

You don’t get to come back and blame me for what happened between us.

I would do anything for you, you know?

bring me back the first flower you see.

Forever yours...

Don’t leave me, please...

I will always be yours, you know that.

Tell me what happened, I’ll always listen.

For gods sake, keep it in your pants.

Hmm...fuck.

Thank you, for everything.

Keep your eyes open for me/don’t you dare close your eyes.

I just want to go home.

Some promises are meant to be broken/you’ve broken too many.

I can’t lose you, not when I have everything.

Fire and blood, and you would risk starting a war.

I didn’t think this through/that’s obvious given our situation.

You’re covered in blood!/don’t worry, it’s not all mine.

I would marry you in a heartbeat/so why don’t you?

Do anything you want to me, but whatever you do, don’t hurt her.

What did I do to deserve you?

When I was away, all I could think about was you.

You stopped breathing! I thought you...

How long have I been here?/three days.

You lied to me/I know, I’m sorry/You don’t get to be sorry.

I can only imagine what it was like for you.

War makes you do crazy things.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t let you go.

Come with me, and I promise I will love you better this time.

How could you?

War has no place for a woman/Then why am I here and not one of your own men?

Bite me/Gladly.

I don’t change for anyone/You did for me.

The thought of losing you...it just tears me apart.

You know that doesn’t work on me/Worth a shot.

I won’t be intimidated by the likes of you/What about the likes of him?

I’m trying to save your life, now shut up.

When I moved here, I never expected to see so much action.

I suppose an apology is in order.

How long has this been going on? This thing between you and her?

Give me one good reason why I should let you in?

I want to believe you...I really do.

Get out.

I promised you that I would come back, now you must keep your promise to marry me.

Everyone tells me not to trust you/I’m not everyone, love.

I love you more than anything.

Kiss me.

I’ve never met someone like you/There is no one like me.

I can’t do this alone/You are stronger than you know.

Demonic possession wasn’t in my itinerary today, but what the hell.

You’re going to keep me here?/Whatever it takes to keep you safe.

You made it! I was beginning to worry about you.

You mean the world to me/I know.

I owe you a dance when I return/I’ll hold you to that.

We’re a family, no matter what.

Don’t ever leave me, I can’t do this without you.

I saw you die...your heart stopped beating.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.

I wasted everything on you when you didn’t even love me.

Why would someone like you be interested in me?

You’d think I was invisible with the way he looks through me. I’m nothing.

You’ve been shot, now lie down.

Quick, make a wish. Maybe it will come true.

I never thought I would end up with someone like you.

You should think twice about hurting her.

Take me away from this, all of this.

How did we get into this situation?

I will get you out of this alive, I promise you.

Tell me something that I don’t know/I love you.

I know you hate me, but I did what I had to.

Dance with me.

I can’t dance/I’ll teach you.

I’m sorry/I know, and I forgive you.

I never meant for you to get hurt.

You need to rest, you’re exhausted.

It’s just a scratch, I’ll be fine/That is in no way a scratch.

I’m not going to make it/Don’t say that, don’t you ever say that.

You did everything you could/It still wasn’t enough.

I never thought that this is how it would end.

Give me that/Make me.

If we get caught doing this, we will be in so much trouble.

Don’t hurt him! Please, don’t hurt him. I will do whatever you want me to do.

Your letters were what kept me going.

I will destroy everything you care about if you hurt a hair on her head.

Sentiment is a chemical found on the losing side.

Are you asking me on a date or did that just slip out?

Lunch sounds good, but maybe ask me properly next time.

I’m fine, really/You’re bleeding out, you’re not fine.

I’m not sure if that’s how that works, but sure let’s go with that.

I’d follow you anywhere.

I feel exposed wearing this/You look amazing, calm down.

I can’t wear this, I look ridiculous.

Will you marry me? Of course I will!

Stay with me, please.

Come home, I need you.

DM me the number of the prompt and any character from any of these fandoms listed below and will write a small drabble:

Sherlock (BBC), Peaky Blinders, 1917, Gotham, Mission Impossible, The Witcher, Titans (DC), Kingsman: The Secret Service, Lucifer, Shadowhunters, Dunkirk, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Jurassic World, The Mandalorian, Star Trek, Kong Skull Island, Star Wars, Suits, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, John Wick.

#sherlock #peaky blinders #gotham #mission impossible #the witcher #titans #kingsman the secret service #lucifer #shadowhunters #dunkirk #the man from uncle #jurassic world #the mandalorian #star trek #kong skull island #star wars #brooklyn nine nine #john wick #admin update

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 5 years ago

Note

fuck marry kill - Britt, Lee, Bernardo from Mag7 1960

pics for my own reference bc i did not do well matching names to faces while watching the film. i was not HAHAHA YES ATTRACTIVE MAN at any of them during this film i may be going through a more sapphic phase

fuck Britt, bc James Coburn has a good set of cheekbones and i feel like we could comfortably part ways with no ill feelings

marry Bernardo, bc we are both terrified of having children BUT still see them as people. i think how people treat children is very indicative of their personality ans attitude toward life as a whole. he strikes me as the most kind + nuturing one out of the seven and u kno what i deserve nice men in this fictional scenario

kill i feel bad about this one but Lee’s particular brain problems and my particular brain problems would not mesh well and it would maybe be a kindness given the state of mental health as a field in this time. i want him to have nice things but i am not the person to give him those things. robert vaughn has a perfectly nice face and i enjoyed him in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. he just got the short straw here

#we're really extra on our bullshit after this film huh #this feels like more of a personal lore dump than usual this one might self-destruct in a few hours #cowboyblogging #ty!!!#answered #sybilius

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redshirtgal · 5 years ago

Photo

At the end of the last article, you were promised a follow-up on Jay Jones and other TOS stars he had acted with. So what is this poster of Rough Night in Jericho doing here? Afraid you’ll have to read on to find out. But there are plenty of other Six Degrees of Trek instances involving Jay Jones.

Remember, his first television stunt job was in The Man from U.N.C.L.E was as Robert Vaughn’s stunt double but he also got to do some acting in the episode “Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum.” But we also see Illya Kuryakin being confronted by two T.H.R.U.S.H goons. Look closely at them. We’ve seen them before, but where? (Thanks to Brad Filipone for both photos!)

The T.H.R.U.S.H. henchman on the left in the episode was played by Pete Kellett who also played Kirk’s henchman Farrell in the Star Trek episode “Mirror, Mirror.” And Dave Armstrong appeared as the henchman on the right. Armstrong later appeared on TOS as Kartan in “Operation: Annihilate!”

Actually, Jay and Pete would later appear together as Klingons in “The Day of the Dove.”

In the Bonanza episode “Kingdom of Fear” we see Jay Jones as a bad guy who tries to use his bullwhip on Hoss. To the left in this photo is his boss, a local judge who hires men to capture passing strangers and put them to work as slaves. Can you name the actor and Star Trek episode he appeared in? Hint: He was in the first episode broadcast on NBC.

Maybe seeing the character will jog your memory. Remember him from “The Man Trap”? Professor Carter, married to Nancy, Dr. McCoy’s former love was played by Alfred Ryder. And he also was the actor who played the judge in the Bonanza episode.

Another connection - “Kingdom of Fear” was directed by Joe Pevney, who directed many of the best Star Trek episodes. He is shown above directing the episode “The Immunity Syndrome.”

We had already discussed Jay’s appearance as a demon in the Kung Fu episode “One Step to Darkness.” In that same episode was a doctor (on the left) who treated Caine and other children for malaria. That doctor was played by Lloyd Kino and we’ve seen him before as well.

He appeared as Wu, Captain Tracey’s Kohm guard in “The Omega Glory.”

And now, we finally get to why the movie Rough Night in Jericho is mentioned at the beginning of this article. This movie contains not just Jay Jones as a stunt double and teacher for Slim Pickens, one of the villains in this movie, but there are nine ( count ‘em, 9) connections to Star Trek (counting Jones) Slim Pickens and George Peppard have a scene in this film where the two are involved in a brutal fight. Yarborough (Pickens) begins attacking Dolan (Peppard) with his bullwhip (it has been established earlier he is an expert with the bullwhip). Once fighting gets more intense, two stuntmen jump in - Jay Jones for Slim Pickens and Bobby Clark for George Peppard. Remember Jay Jones had rodeo experience, which made him an excellent choice. He taught Pickens how to handle the bullwhip for the beginning of the scene and he took over for him when the hand to hand combat occurred.

Variety and other newspapers and magazines called this scene one of the most violent brawls in Western cinema at that time. Not only does Yarborough inflict quite a number of cuts to the body of Dolan but he and Dolan get into a bruising fight at the end. Dolan winds up killing Yarborough by bashing in his head with a club. You can bet Jay Jones and Bobby Clark handled a lot of the fight scenes.

One review mentioned it was easy to tell when Bobby Clark was in the scene instead of Peppard because Bobby’s hair was straw-colored and drier than Peppard’s own darker blonde hair (which was not dry at all). Take a look at the above photo. We don’t know for sure that this is Bobby Clark, but if you compare this person’s hair to George Peppard’s straighter blonde hair in this movie, there seem to be some differences. However, we could be completely wrong. By the way, Bobby Clark is credited in IMDb as a juror in the same movie but we couldn’t find him. It was not a traditional jury - mainly a gang of henchmen belong to Alex Flood (Dean Martin) gathered outside in the street on the site of a hanging.

Jay and Bobby had actually worked together before in Star Trek on the episode “Mirror, Mirror.” Jay was Scotty’s stunt double and Bobby was one of Chekov’s henchmen.

However, those two were not the only Star Trek: The Original Series actors to appear in Rough Night in Jericho. Above are two more of Flood’s hired hands, Torrey (appointed sheriff by Flood) and Simms. Both appeared on Star Trek, but on completely different episodes.

Torrey was played by Brad Weston who also played the one of the miners named Ed Appel in “The Devil in the Dark.” He and Jay Jones do share another place of honor in Trek history. Jay was considered for a recurring role with an accent, a character that we now know as Pavel Chekov. Coincidentally, Brad was also briefly considered for the same unspecified part. The character of Simms was played by Steve Sandor one year before he landed his role as Lars, Uhura’s drill thrall, in “The Gamesters of Triskelion.” Interestingly, another person who appeared in this episode with him was also in Rough Night in Jericho.

In the movie, Angelique Pettyjohn plays a bar girl who catches Dolan’s eye as he walks into Flood’s bar. But she was also Captain Kirk’s drill thrall in the previously mentioned episode of Star Trek. One more Trek actor/stuntman appeared in Rough Night in Jericho.

Bobby Herron was a stuntman who made several appearances on Star Trek, most notably that of Sam, the crewman in the gym who made the mistake of laughing at the main character in “Charlie X.” He appears in the credits of Rough Night in Jericho as a stuntman, but of course, it would be nearly impossible to pick him out.

And now the 9th and final TOS connection with Rough Night in Jericho - and it’s not an actor. Albert Whitlock was the matte supervisor for the film and did the matte painting on the left for the background scene of the explosion that rocked Flood’s ranch and mines. We are familiar with his many matte paintings for Star Trek, including the one on the left from “The Cage.”

Finding several Trek actors in another TV series episode or movie is not all that unusual. Even stunt actors often popped up in other places before or after their Trek appearance. But as we were working on the Jay Jones article, we kept running into photos of these connections in so many of the shows and films he did, we figured we would just save them all and present them in a separate article. Thus ends another round of Six (or more) Degrees of Trek. Hope you enjoyed it!

#Jay Jones #Six Degrees of Trek

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