#the man was processing so much he could not move
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nochepsicodelica · 1 day ago
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It's two in the morning and you're knocking on your own front door after a night out with your friends. Your mind has been occupied by static, not allowing you to remember that you have a key to let yourself in, so you stand there alone, waiting to be let in. You plant your hand on the wall to keep yourself balanced, looking left and right to see if anybody or any car is looking at you as they pass by.
Just as you're about to knock, again, the door opens and you flinch, your other hand flying to the wall to remain steady on your feet. You look up at your man with warped vision, blinking a little to try and clear your view of him. You can't contain your laughter when you see the stern look on Toji's face, his green eyes laced with concern you can't process in this state.
"What the fuck..." Toji mutters, to himself. What kind of friends would just drop you off without making sure that you get inside your house, safely? It's late. Who knows how long you had been standing there before you knocked. Anyone could have snatched you away.
Toji will catch you. You know he'll catch you if you just lean forward into him, like a backwards trust fall, so you set the plan in motion. You drag your feet and move your hands along the wall until you're in the safe zone, and then you just fall forward.
"Woah, hey." He's quick to hold you up against him, to prevent you from sliding down his body and to the floor. "Hey, you good? Talk to me. Can you walk?" Toji doesn't receive much of a response from you. Just quiet little giggles and incoherent mumbles. He sighs and picks you up, draping you over his shoulder. The door is shut and locked, before he makes his way to the bedroom. The light is already on, because he was awake the entire time, awaiting your arrival. Toji sets you down on the bed and briefly sits on the edge, by your feet.
"You didn't answer my calls, and I texted you like twenty times." He lifts your feet and takes their place, before setting them down on his lap so that you are comfortable. His fingers make haste of undoing the buckles on your high heels and he sets the shoes down, placing them under the bed.
You simply hum in response, not entirely sure of how you got to the room. The light is so bright and it's irritating your eyes, making it hard for you to hold them open.
"Told you to let me know if you needed me to pick you up, dummy." Toji wraps his hands around one of your ankles, his fingers kneading with little pressure, incase the area is tender.
"N-Nooo, i'm... here. Here," you babble.
It's so frustrating to be unable to get a full explanation out of you, right now. Your responses are borderline illogical and it's not doing Toji any good. He feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. He can't calm down, after he spent the last few hours wondering why you stopped responding to him and why you weren't answering his calls. To open the door and instantly get a whiff of your night out was enraging, not because you got extremely intoxicated, but because there was no one looking out for you by the end of your time out.
Toji understands that there is no point in digging into this, now. You can't even walk or see straight, so he settles for making simple conversation that you can easily digest.
"Did your phone die or something?"
You shake your head, side to side, and his blood boils all over again. This was supposed to be an easy conversation, but he was just so damn worried. His entire body is tense with concern.
"Fuck." He sighs, nodding slightly at your response. "Yeah, okay."
A few seconds of silence go by and Toji thinks you may have fallen asleep, but then you speak up, out of nowhere, again.
"Took lots of pictures..." you mumble, eyes closed as you dig into your pocket for your phone. Once it's in your hand, you toss it on the bed for Toji to grab. He puts your massage on hold and picks up your phone, unlocking it and going to your photo gallery, where immediately, he sees previews of the pictures of you and those so called "friends" who abandoned you on your doorstep. The only reason he cares for those group photos is because you're smiling widely, seemingly laughing, and overall looking extremely happy in every one of them, but as much as he loves the look on your face in those, he loves the pictures you took of yourself and the ones your friends took of you, more. Some you had already sent to him, others he hadn't seen until then, so he sent those pictures to himself.
Toji turns your phone off and sets it aside, before grabbing ahold of your other ankle and repeating the same treatment that he did for the first one.
"There was... ugh..." you sweep away some strands of hair that almost went into your mouth. "A man. I dropped my phone and he- and he got too close behind me when I bent down to pick it up." You nod, with your eyes as wide as they can be in this state, like you're trying to prove that you aren't lying by looking him straight in his eyes.
"That's fucking disgusting, mama." Toji's eyebrows furrow, discomfort written all over his face with this new information you revealed. He squeezes your ankle a little tighter, his mind beginning to cloud with thoughts of never letting you go out without him again, but before he even thinks of spilling these thoughts to you, he asks you the most important questions.
"Are you okay? Did he touch you?"
"Mm-mm, no." You shake your head as quickly as you can without getting dizzy. "Saw his legs behind my legs and I got up and gave him this look..." You furrow your brows and lid your eyes, a gaze that doesn't seem intimidating or warning enough, now, after so many drinks. Your face quickly relaxes after and you roll your eyes with a tired sigh. "Yup, that was the face I made and then I walked away," you say, your attitude more upbeat.
"Did he leave you alone?" Toji asks, hoping nothing more happened. If there is more, he'll have you describe this man to the best of your ability, and he will hunt him down until he can positively assure that he's no longer part of the world's population.
"Yeahhh, don't know where he went." You hum like you're trying to remember, as if you even have that knowledge. You walked away and didn't turn back around, something that finally concludes your brief inability to recall. "Think he got lost." You giggle.
"Good. I'm glad," Toji says. You hum in agreement, and your eyes fall shut, gracing you with two seconds of sleep before your head nods and you wake up, again. Your bashful smile evolves into a short laugh, one that has Toji smiling at how precious you are. "You tired, mama?"
You nod and blink slowly in response, fighting the urge to shut your eyes for longer. Your lips curl into a lazy smile, when Toji presses a kiss to your ankle, before he moves your feet and sets them on the bed so he can get up.
"Let's get you ready for bed, then."
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luveline · 2 days ago
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If you are still writing for bombshell x Spencer could you write something from early seasons when he had feelings for JJ 👉🏻👈🏻
Hotch told you once that he was tempted to put an automatic lock on the office doors, so that he can lock them when he sees you coming during your working hours. 
He has yet to follow through. You slip in through the doors and take a deep breath. It smells like coffee, printer paper, all the same stuff as your own office, but your office doesn’t have Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, or Spencer Reid. 
“Neither does this one, apparently,” you mumble to yourself, casting your gaze around the room to no avail. The boys aren’t here. 
Emily’s sitting at her desk. She’s new, you’re jealous of her job, but she’s gorgeous. You won’t mind sitting at Spencer’s desk until they get back. “Hello,” you drawl, setting down in Spencer’s chair comfortably. 
Emily’s mildly startled. “Hey?”
Spencer’s desk is an explosion. You debate cleaning up for him. What if you put something in the wrong place? It’ll be more annoying than helpful. “How are things?” you ask, pushing Spencer’s chair back, and kicking a leg over your knee, high heel bobbing. 
“What?” 
You smile at her. Flirting, just a little, but your concern is real. “How are things going, Prentiss? With you?” 
“They’re good. Yeah. I just moved into my new place.” 
Bless her for not knowing what to do with you. She doesn’t have practice like the rest. “A new place? Where to?” 
She relaxes while you talk. Her apartment overlooking Kingman, her cat’s annoyance at the new smells and the long case time away. “Spencer says that cats aren’t capable of holding grudges, but Sergei can.” 
“He’s cute, isn’t he? He knows a fun fact for everything.” 
Emily sits up. You can see the excitement of a secret in her dark eyes. “He’s adorable. His little crush on JJ is so sweet, I’ve tried to give him some advice but he’s totally stuck on her.” You falter. And Emily, profiler in training, she catches it. Her lips part, startled. “You’re not–”
“I had no idea Spencer had a little crush,” you breathe, sitting up with a smile. “For how long? What about JJ, is she interested in him?” You hug your hands together. “You know, I think they’d make a cute couple.”
“Well, I heard they went to a football game together, but I don’t know when. Before I got here, at least.” 
What? “That’s fun.”
“I don’t think it’s serious.”
You tip your head back and the heavens have opened, Derek Morgan’s making his way toward you with a grin and a hand reaching for you. “Sweetheart, where have you been?” he asks. “It’s been weeks, I was starting to miss you.” 
You texted him a few days ago about a property nearby for rent, and you had coffee the day after to hear his advice on the area, so he’s just making stuff up. “Hi, Derek.” 
You get up and let him hug you. You deserve it. You’re beautiful and fun and smart, and you deserve a handsome man rubbing your arm and telling you he missed you. “How much?” you ask warmly. 
“Like a hole in the head.” 
Hotch is behind him. And there, the surprise item of the afternoon, Spencer Cheating Reid. 
“Hi, Hotch,” you say. 
“I heard something about you I’d rather not repeat,” he says. 
“Hotch, the details were wildly exaggerated, and I was less at fault than you might think.”
“I thought it was entirely your fault.” He shakes his head. “You’re shooting yourself in the foot, doing things like that.” 
“Why, what did you do?” Spencer asks. 
You falter again. Everyone sees your insecurity: Hotch’s brow furrows deeper than it had been, Morgan pauses, and Spencer, to your panic, holds your eye as the emotion passes. “It’s not worth talking about,” you say, shrugging. 
“Try not to do it again,” Hotch says. “Morgan, with me.” 
“Uh, Hotch?” Emily speaks up. 
“You too, Prentiss.” 
He leads a procession up to his office. Morgan throws you a look like he wants to talk to you, but you’ve plastered unaffectedness over the wound again. Why does the idea of JJ and Spencer going on a date upset you? He’s a sweet guy, she’s a nice girl. Is it because you didn’t know? 
“You really haven’t been here in weeks,” Spencer says. 
“Missed me?” 
He holds the strap of his bag. “Yeah, I did.” 
What use does he have missing you? “I heard something interesting about you, Spencer.” 
“You did?”
He looks shy, pale, and worried. You forget sometimes how he’s not just your favourite dork, he’s a friend. And he doesn’t seem to have very many of them. 
Oh, you think, jealousy, you heartless monster. 
“The rumour mill says you aren’t sleeping enough,” you say gently. 
“I sleep fine.”
You put one kitten heel in front of the other and stay, squinting at him with a teasing suspicion. “That’s not what my informants have been telling me. You look tired, honey. You aren’t sleeping, or Hotch won’t let you?” 
“Both.” 
He does that playful smiley thing that makes you wanna scrunch his hair in your hands, like he knows he’s made a good joke. 
“Your case in Cincinnati sounded tough.” 
“Wait,” he says. 
“What?” 
“Are you okay?” 
“Usually. Why?” 
“Are you okay right now?” 
“I’m fine.” You purse your lips. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 
“Just– you– I don’t know, you didn’t seem like yourself. I didn’t mean to upset you, asking about that stuff. It’s none of my business, sorry.” 
“How are you feeling about physical touch today?” you ask. 
He seems to regard you with distrust, for a few seconds, like he’s worried you’re messing with him. “I’m okay with it,” he says eventually. 
You step into his space and touch his cheek gently, fingertip tapping into a beauty mark you often remember only when he’s in your reach. “You didn’t say anything wrong. I’m sorry I made you think that.” You drop your hand. “Just having a weird day.” 
“Me too.” 
Spencer puts his bag under his desk and mentions a video he found on profiling you might like by one of the old Unit Chief’s, SSA David Rossi. You steal Derek’s chair and sit knee to knee with him to watch it, Spencer’s cheeks turning dark with blush in the screen’s reflection. 
Can JJ make him blush like that? 
bombshell fics
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a1ecmcdowell · 2 days ago
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bonnie!reader & clyde!dean - the name of the game, baby!
includes, crime :( but for the good of the people! the sexual tension is high but nothing ever gets done ab it sorry for the edging pt 2 soon tho
★ ˚⋆
times were tough these days. dean hadn't known a moment of peace from the very moment he decided that hunting wasn't doing shit for sustaining him, and, well... when he met you.
he'd made up his mind already that hunting was a deadend for him. as much as it killed him to think, it was. how could you keep up a job that didn't pay you, and expect to stay afloat? he wasn't.
it started with dining and dashing when he could, scrounging together the scraps of change and loose bills in his pockets for better things than something like a meal that he had to have or he'd die. putting money directly into corporate pockets when he'd then be out of a bed for the night was not something that he ever wanted to do.
until he met you. by chance, and by the threads of fate, you wound yourself around his heart and never let go.
he was finishing up the handful of fries on his plate, eyes drifting around the room as the waitresses moved to-and-fro. they hadn't stopped by him in a while, so he figured that he was either safe, or about to get approached and interrogated about another round of beer.
he'd take one, sure, but it'd be added to a tab he wasn't going to pay, so it was in their best interest to keep their noses out of his business.
one of the women catches his eye anyways, and she's making her way over with a noticeable sway of her hips and a swish to her long blonde hair, when-
the bell over the entrance door rings as the glass bursts open. in stumbles you, buttoning up the white blouse you wore without even looking up from it, loose and disheveled hair swaying in the burst of air your entrance caused.
you were beautiful, even in your mess, and even when your mouth opened to beg for forgiveness to a man behind the counter. "sorry! my car is shit, it wouldn't start, and-"
"louise has been covering your ass for thirty extra minutes," the man interrupts, his face stoic and unbreakable. "unpaid. don't apologize to me on your lack of punctuality, apologize to louise."
dean watches the whole exchange from his red-cushioned booth by the window, each second making his eyes narrow further. great. now he was getting a heart about stealing from this joint, just because of the way he now knew you girls were treated here. probably would have to cover his tab yourselves.
he sighs. they can't all be winners.
you're making your way over to him, and at first, with his fry smothered in a slurry of ketchup, he thinks you must be the prettiest girl he's ever seen, and here he is, shoveling down fries like a starved man.
fry drops back onto the plate. the waitress who'd been on her way over to dean is halted by your worried little mouth running all over again. "louise-"
"fuck him. i don't mind a second of it." louise pats your forearm with her hand. "it's not even been busy. he's just a dick. this one's my last."
her free hand lifts to gesture at dean, and he again feels a flush of awareness when louise turns to him, and then follows you. your eyes nearly freeze him on the spot. big and bright. christ.
"no, it's okay, i've got him," you say, and the smile you give to him and then to her does freeze him, ice cold and solid in this shoddy little booth. "you just head on home, alright?"
dean at least tries to look like he hadn't been eavesdropping. drops his head again, picks up that discarded fry from his plate.
"hi, sorry about that," you say around a frazzled sigh when you approach his table, and he can't help but bristle at how many apologies he's heard you utter in the last five minutes, all of them unnecessary. "anything i can getcha?"
he actually cannot stop looking at you. you missed a button three down from your collar, the shirt a bit crooked because of the slip. your nimble hands were in the process of tying your hair up and out of your face, flyaways dancing in the fluorescents of the diner like strands of glitter.
no, he wasn't planning on getting anything else. had cemented that idea the moment he decided he couldn't just steal from this place.
but the thought of asking for the check after only getting a few moments with you... wasn't going to fly for him.
dean lifts the empty glass bottle from the edge of his table. "just another one of these, sugar."
your lips curl something wicked, and he doesn't know why, but he knows that he feels like a teenage boy again, with the way his heart flutters at the sight. "that it?"
"yeah, that's it," and you really are a little minx, not as innocent as the act you give to your boss and your coworkers, because he can almost see the fire brewing behind your eyes, "why, you got somethin' else you wanna give me?"
that usually gets him a flush, bright pink warmth on the faces of the waitresses he says it too. you, though, only seem to brighten at the question. fire stoked. "a piece of my mind, maybe."
"alright, so sit that pretty ass down and give it to me."
you seem taken aback by it for a second, your entire face warming to such a pretty pink. your eyes flit back to the kitchen, and then to the open space in the booth across from him, and slowly, you sink down into it.
"hit me, sugar," dean says, leaning back against the ruby red cushions, "give me a little piece of that mind."
"you were gonna steal, weren't you?" you say, so fast and quick that he's taken aback this time. "when lou was leavin'. you were bankin' on her back being turned."
dean resists the urge to whistle under his breath. what an odd little talent that is, catching crimes before they happen. "nah."
"'nah'," you mimic, and his eyebrows shoot up on his forehead, "i know your type. thinkin' you're some kind of robin hood, skippin' the dollar on big brother."
"i'm not going to, sugar," he insists, more firmly this time, feeling a little on edge by your blasé attitude. he'd expect someone so accurate in their assessments to already have him by the ear, leading him into the hands of the guys with cuffs. "can't make you pay for food you didn't eat, can i?"
"i can afford a beer and a plate of fries, babe," you shoot right back at him, a sickly sweet smile on those pretty pink lips of yours. "i can't afford to sit here and waste my time cracking jokes with a joke."
dean does whistle this time, a scoff of laughter falling from his mouth. "y'think i'm a joke, huh?"
"i think anyone who claims they're doing things to damn the man is." your arms fold over your chest, the blouse bunching up beneath your breasts and pushing them up just enough-- "hey. eyes up here." fuck. "that's exactly what i'm sayin'. all damn the man but you're still a tool."
"that mean you wanna use me?"
this little back and forth was the most fun dean had had in weeks. months, even, if he discredited the cheap nights with easy girls in dirty motel rooms.
"no," you stumble the words out, spluttering them out like they burn your tongue. "i don't even know your name."
"dean."
your eyes linger on his for a few moments longer, like you're trying to assess if this is another one of his lies. you must like what you see reflected back, though, because you smile, slow and languid. "dean."
the silence that follows is short-lived and buzzing. then, your lips part again. "were you really going to dine and dash?" a test. you don't sound mad, or like you're interested in turning him in at all.
his shoulders lift in a slight shrug. "that's just the name of the game, baby." he leans forward with his elbows resting on the rickety table between the two of you. "damn the man, right?"
one second passes, then two, and then you're snatching a fry from the plate in between you, dipping it in the pool of ketchup on the edge of his plate. "there are much more fun ways to damn the man."
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notes, WEEEEEE i was gonna do fallen angel!dean first but something ab these two were STUCK in my head hope u dont mind
tags, @jasvtsc @depressionbarbie2023 @figthoughts @titsout4nicholas
(if u wanna be added to this btw / u are supposed to be and i keep forgetting pls know it's not a vendetta i am just a silly lil lady who doesn't know what she's doing ok)
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dearieshima · 6 hours ago
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feat. lovely banter with zayne in the morning
c.w. should I label this as improper use of medicine? 💀, very suggestive, fluffy, MDNI, 1k+ words, fem reader
In the softest hour before dawn, when the town of Linkon lay wrapped in the hush of a blue so tender it felt almost sacred, Zayne sat at the edge of your bed, the early light casting his form in gentle shades of indigo and sapphire. Shadows stretched long as as he carefully buttoned his shirt, his fingers moving with a deliberate rhythm, hoping not to disturb you.
In that quiet intimacy, your arms, weighted with sleep, reached for him. He startled, the tension in his shoulders easing when he turned to find you awake, your eyes carrying the gentleness of lingering dreams. “Go back to sleep,” he whispered, his voice a lullaby. His hand slid softly over your hair, and then he gently adjusted the blanket around your frame.
"Mmm, so you're the type of guy to see yourself out after spending the night with a woman?" you murmured, a playful edge laced with drowsiness.
Zayne let out a soft hmph, the sound warm and tinged with a hint of amusement. "I'm the type of man who has a very busy day ahead of him," he replied, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.
His hands moved to work on his tie, his fingers maneuvering the silk with skilled efficiency. "You," he added, pausing for a moment to look down at his work, "have the luxury of staying in bed, asleep, for another couple of hours."
You raised, the blanket slipping and pooling at your waist and exposing the erotic canvas of your skin in the hues of healing.
Mauve hickies adorned the column of your neck like a necklace. Plum love bites, puffy and tender, marred the smooth swells of your breasts, peeking out from your white lace bra. On your waist, a ghostly imprint of a possessive hand lingered.
Zayne froze, his hands clutching his loosened tie as his jaw tensed almost unseen. His eyes, however, remained thawed and warm to shift with such frequentness to drink you in.
He blinked rapidly before resuming his motion, loosening the tie around his throat as if it was the reason behind his loss of breath. He inhaled before he gently beckoned you to lay back down and attempted to tuck the covers back over you.
"Don't sit up. You need your sleep," he said softly, his voice slightly deeper than usual. Despite his words, there was a hint of guilt and tenderness in his tone, betraying his concern.
You pushed aside the covers and leaned into his shoulder, your fingers curling into the hem of his shirt. “Lemme... Lemme iron your shirt.”
Zayne’s resolve faltered as you pressed closer, your warmth seeping through the fabric of his sleeve. The scent of your love making still lingered on you.
“You expect me to think you can hold an iron when you can barely hold your eyes open," he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. His hand found your cheek, his thumb brushing gently over your skin. “You'll have me hurrying up the process so I could rush you to the ER.”
You blinked up at him, your eyes heavy but earnest. “Can I have some water?”
He sighed but rose without complaint, returning moments later with a glass of cold water in one hand and a couple of pills in the other. Setting the water on the nightstand, he sank back onto the edge of the bed. His gaze swept over you, taking in the exhaustion etched across your features—the faint lines of fatigue, the dark shadows under your eyes. He knew how much your work as a hunter drained you, though he also knew now wasn’t the time for a lecture.
Which, of course, didn’t stop him.
"The first one is ibuprofen for pain relief," his eyes flickering to the bruise blooming on your throat, "and the other one is a multivitamin, which, by the looks of the full capsule in your medicine cabinet, is one you should've been taking daily, prescribed by your doctor."
You pouted, your voice soft. “I just forgot. And they taste weird.”
"You forget a lot of things," he said, his tone half-chiding, half-concerned. His fingers deftly cracked open the vitamin capsule, holding the pill up between you. "They're medicine, not candy. They're not supposed to taste delicious."
“What are you—?”
“Making sure you actually take it.” His hand tipped your chin upward, thumb and forefinger firm but careful. His voice dipped into something commanding. “Open.”
Your lips parted, your eyes meeting his as he leaned closer. He placed the pill on your tongue, but the flick of your it against his fingertip drew an audible hitch from him.
Zayne froze for a heartbeat, his eyes darkening with something unreadable, something heated. His thumb lingered on your lower lip, tracing its curve as his gaze held yours.
“Swallow,” he murmured, his voice rougher now, his breath brushing against your skin.
You obeyed, your throat working as the pill went down. His eyes tracked the movement, a flicker of satisfaction crossing his face. His thumb stayed at your lip a moment longer before he pulled back and handed you the water.
“Good girl,” he said softly, the words laced with a low, almost teasing warmth.
You drained the glass in one go, setting it back on the nightstand with a faint clink. Your eyes met his again, the weariness in them replaced with a spark of something else entirely.
“Now I’m really not tired,” you said, your voice breaking the quiet tension in the room.
Zayne leaned back, a chuckle rumbling in his chest. He was aware of the drowsiness that was about to settle in soon, thanks to the ingredient in the pills named Diphenhydramine.
"It'll hit you soon," he said, his voice low and comforting, his fingers brushing away a few stray strands of hair from your face. "You'll be dozing off before you know it."
Zayne pulled the covers up to your chin, his fingers gently tucking the fabric around you. He took a moment to admire the sight of you, wrapped up in your nest of warmth, the faint warm light of the early morning seeping through the windows, clearing the chillness of the blue. He should have left a while ago.
"Rest," he murmured, his voice a soothing rumble. His hand lingered, squeezing your shoulder gently before pulling away. "I have to go."
"Wait," you said, tugging lightly on his sleeve. "Have a nice day at work."
"I will."
"And don’t eat too many sweets. Remember, your dentist said sugar-free," you added, smiling softly.
"I’m sure one pastry won’t hurt," he teased.
"Your lunch is in the fridge... don’t forget it," you murmured through a yawn. Zayne has been deliberately leaving his lunch behind for weeks now, a thin excuse for you to stop by later and see you again.
"I won’t," he lied smoothly.
Your breathing slowed, the weight of sleep pulling you under.
Zayne feigned a glance at his watch --and God, he really should've left by now-- pretending he had important duties that needed tending to, but secretly reveled in the extra few minutes of banter and banter with you.
Then it happened.
"I love you," you whispered, the words tumbling out mid-yawn, the 'you' stretching softly as your eyelids drifted shut. It was the first time you’d said it, the confession slipping free without a second thought.
Zayne froze, his heart stuttering in his chest. For a moment, he just stood there, watching you as you surrendered to sleep. It's the medication talking, he silently told himself, even as the words echoed in his mind, sending a warmth spreading through his veins.
He gently placed his hand on your head, his fingers carding through your hair in a soothing manner as he watched your eyes flutter closed.
Zayne watched as your breathing slowed into the soft, even rhythm of sleep, your face relaxed and peaceful. He lingered for a few more seconds, his gaze tracing the lines of your face, committing them to memory. He bent down to kiss your forehead. "I love you, too. I'll see you in the afternoon."
As gently as possible, Zayne removed his hand from your head, the touch light as he slowly made his way to the door.
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daydaydayrk420 · 1 day ago
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Space for third?
Ororo Munroe x male reader x Logan Howlett
⚠️threesome, kissing, head⚠️
🚨minors and girls do not interact🚨
______________________________________________________________
...
..
.
The movie starts off well. But then suddenly it turns into porn. Like literally. The actors start off with kissing. Then stripping. And then fucking. All of their body parts are visible.
Ororo and Logan are suddenly reminded of their earlier actions. Their faces flush.
Y/n looks aside questioning the situation and what he should do. Suddenly he feels a large hand on his thigh. And two smaller hands on his belly. He looks down.
Ororo's hands are tracing the hem of his shirt while Logan rubs circles on his inner thigh. The third wheel gasps and looks at them.
"Wha-" y/n is about to question what's happening but Logan cuts him off with a kiss. Y/n gasps yet again but it doesn't take him long before he returns the kiss with desperation.
In the meantime, Ororo's hands traveled under y/n's shirt. Y/n whines and grabs Ororo's hands through his shirt. The lovers stop. Logan pulls back from the kiss and looks at the younger man with concern that matches the white-haired lady's expression.
"What's wrong?" Storm asks softly. Y/n pouts as he processes the situation. Both Logan and Ororo would smile at that cute pout if they weren't worried about his comfort.
"You... you're not just humoring me right...? The third wheel asks with a quiet and shaky voice. The lovers' hearts break. "No. No no no. Why would we do that? We wouldn't play with your emotions like that." Ororo said from behind him. She turned his head gently so they could lock eyes and y/n would know she was telling the truth.
Y/N sniffles. Not because he's sad. But because he's overwhelmed.
Ororo hugs him tightly while Lagan brushes his hair. "Hey... it's alright, we don't gotta do anything if you don't want to." The older man said.
Y/n shakes his head. "I want to. Fuck. I want to so much. I'm just overwhelmed." The third wheel explained with a shaky voice.
Storm kissed the younger man's neck for comfort. "Take your time." She murmured and slowly retraced his belly.
Logan joined in and kissed y/n's other side of his neck. The third lover closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling he's been yearning for so long.
His hands move on their own. They reach up and grab Logan's hair. Logan groans and presses his face into y/n's neck.
Before they all know it, clothes are scattered around the room while their bodies mingle. The room is filled with moans and kissing sounds as the throuple enjoy their bare bodies pressed together.
Y/n is lying down while Ororo is sitting next to him kissing him like a madwoman while Logan is kissing his inner thighs.
He moans into Storm's lips when he feels Logan's breath on his balls. But Logan ignores that spot and kisses the v dent that's on y/n's abdomen and hips.Logan knows he's torturing the younger man, but he can't help but tease him.
But when y/n whines Logan gives in. He presses a gentle kiss to y/n's tip. Said man gasps in surprise, and his hand flies to the older mans hair.
Ororo giggles and pulls back to look at y/n's flustered expression.
The younger man pouts, but that's soon replaced with a gaping mouth as he gasps when Logan takes him into his mouth.
The older man bobs his head and hollows his cheeks for better pleasure. Y/n's so close to coming. Logan can probably tell because he pulls off. The younger man is about to protest, but Ororo's thigh moving past his face distracts him.
Y/n focuses on how the delicious chocolate thighs rest by his head. The heat radiating out of Storm's weeping cunt sends a shiver down y/n's back. He looks at her.
The way she towers over him. The way she looks at him. The way her delicate hands move down her body towards her white hairs surrounding the delicious looking lips between her legs. The way her fingers spread her folds apart before she slowly and teasingly lowers herself onto y/n's face.
The younger man's hands fly to her thighs and grip them as he eagerly sticks his tongue out to taste her.
Both Ororo and y/n moan when his tongue makes contact with her folds. She grips the headboard to hold up her weight so she doesn't suffocate the man.
In the meantime, Logan watches as he preps himself.
Ororo gasps and digs her nails into the wooden headboard when y/n's nails dig into her thighs. She looks behind herself and sees how logan is slowly lowering himself on y/n's dick.
The younger man's hips thrust up into Logan eagerly. Logan groans and leans forward to rest his forehead on his girlfriends shoulder.
She leans back so Logan can reach. They both roll their hips. Ororo rides y/n's tongue while Logan starts bouncing on y/n's cock.
Y/n whines and wraps one arm around Ororo's leg, where it meets her hip to pull her more onto his face while his other hands grip Logan's thigh.
Ororo moans as y/n's tongue made wonders inside her heat. Logan clawed at the bed as he angled his hips, so y/n's dick hit the perfect spot.
The room is filled with moans and wet skin slapping against wet skin. Storm's knees buckle, and her eyes turn white. Her thighs squeeze around the younger man's head, and her body sparkles, causing her skin to zap y/n's, but he keeps on licking. In fact, it sends bolts (literally) of adrenaline down his body that only pushes him further.
Logan whines as he watches his girlfriend buckle on y/n's tongue. The way her white hair stands with the electricity running through her body. The way you can see little electricity sparks in her hair and around her body.
Logan's close too. His claws penetrate the mattress all the way through as his hips drop onto y/n's with full weight.
The younger man groans and arches his back as he claws at their thighs. He's so overwhelmed. Ororo's powers are zapping his body where it's touching hers. His hips are sore as Logan's full weight drops each time. This man is not walking after this. Fuck he's lucky if he gets out of this without a broken hip.
He cries out as both Logan and Ororo colapse on him. His owm hair stands up with electricity, and his legs give out from the weight. His face gets covered in Ororo's cum while his stomach gets covered with Logan's.
The heavier man rolls his hips a few times until he feels his ass getting stuffed with y/n's cum.
Once Ororo and Logan gain the energy back, they get off of y/n's drained body. Storm giggles when she sees that y/n is half asleep with a wet face and a lazy grin. His hair is a mess, and there's still some sparks visible.
Logan gets up to get something to clean his lovers with. Once he returns, he sees how Ororo is caressing y/n's hair, but the man is still in the same starfish position he was in when Logan left.
"Are you alright, bub?" Logan asks as he wipes his cum off of y/n's stomach. Y/n mumbles tiredly. Both Ororo and Logan chuckle. "Used?" Logan asks. Y/n nods and yawns.
Logan cleans all of them up before he lays down on y/n's side. Ororo lays on the other side, and they both cuddle him.
The younger man is long asleep while Logan and Ororo just admire him.
Why did they wait so long to confront him. They both look at each other and smile. They finally have the one they wanted. They can sleep calmly now.
Eventually, Ororo and Logan fall asleep too and cuddle onto the younger man.
They sleep with grins on their faces because they know y/n will need all the attention and help in the morning. He might even need to borrow Charles's wheelchair.
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damnorange · 8 hours ago
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Brat - Chapter 1: An Emergency
What if the bond tethering their hands after she absorbed the aether core didn’t dissolve as easily as Sylus had promised? ----
"This bond should be released soon, you said."
It was the third time she'd made a comment along those lines. Rather than asking, her tone now carried a condescending edge, tinged with mild boredom. She shifted her weight, the metal wall at her back gradually warming from her body heat—or maybe his. She moved slightly to the left, seeking a new, marginally more comfortable position within the limited range the glow-in-the-dark cuffs allowed. Two and a half hours had passed since they returned from that eventful night. After resonating with him—albeit briefly—their hands were still chained together, forcing them into an unwilling proximity.
At this point, Sylus himself was bored to death. In his mind, he couldn't understand why the link between them hadn't weakened, let alone broken. He’d never been in a situation like this before. Though he was confident he could sever the connection by force, he hesitated, not wanting to damage their future chances of resonance or risk hurting her. So he waited it out.
After nearly three hours, however, his patience was wearing thin. He lacked the energy to take offense at her mocking tone and even less to entertain her. Raising an eyebrow, he shot her what had to be the dirtiest side-eye humankind had ever seen, then sneered.
"Admit it, kitten, You'd miss me too much if we parted ways." Sylus lifted their bound hands, pulling her closer in the process. "Need I remind you this is your doing?"
She huffed, defeated once again in their battle of words. Tugging herself away—at least as much as the cuffs allowed—she grumbled under her breath. She resumed staring at the opposite window, veiled in a thick layer of dust and grime. It barely let in any light, even with the curtain wide open. Of course, under the perpetually dim skies of Zone N109, there wasn’t much difference between day and night, but this still felt extreme. Without the faint glow of a few dim lights, the place could easily be mistaken for an abandoned mansion, like something out of a Dracula movie. Fittingly, the man beside her kind of matched the vibe. 
"I get the whole dark-and-broody aesthetic, but there's a fine line between that and just... filth, you know?"
"..."
"Can’t you afford electricity? This place is so dark."
"..."
"You do know LED lamps exist, right? They’re bright and cheap."
"Kitten, don't test me." 
The low growl of his voice and the sharp click of his tongue silenced her barrage of questions. His crimson irises seemed to glow brighter in the dim room, piercing into her brown eyes. A chill ran down her spine, just like when they first met. Some primal instinct in her mind screamed for her to run far away, while another urged her to shrink into invisibility.
Her shoulders slumped, and she pulled her legs closer to her chest, mumbling, "...Sorry."
Sylus pressed his lips together, clearly holding back a biting retort. In the end, he simply closed his eyes, returning to his statue-like meditation pose—silent and still.
With no other distractions in the room, her gaze drifted back to him. The infamous Onychinus leader became her latest subject of study. His snowy hair reminded her of meadows blanketed in frost, his features sharp and well-defined, his lightly tan skin freckled faintly—so faintly that only someone who’d been as close to him as she was now would notice.
She couldn’t help but admire his appearance. Cocky and intimidating personality aside, Sylus was undeniably handsome—a striking contrast to her dreary surroundings.
"Enjoying the view, aren’t you, sweetie?"
She blinked, startled, pulled from her reverie by the velvety depths of his voice. Coughing to mask her flustered state, she averted her gaze elsewhere, only to sneak a glance at him from the corner of her eye. His eyes were still closed. 
Maybe he had a third eye somewhere. She muttered the thought aloud without meaning to.
"I don’t have a third eye, just a good sense," he replied smoothly.
"Well, isn’t that bird of yours technically your third eye?" she shot back.
"Mephisto has two eyes. So, 'technically’, in that case I have four."
"Don’t play word games with me—you know what I meant."
Their banter fizzled into silence again. After the night’s chaos, even the mighty lord of the underworld seemed to be feeling sluggish. With adrenaline fading and nothing to do, drowsiness began creeping in. She yawned for what felt like the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes. This wasn’t the base where she’d been captured. It was much smaller, emptier. Judging by its state, she assumed it was his residence, too small to be Onychinus’s base. If so, it was... sad.
"If this thing doesn’t come off in the next thirty minutes, you’re coming with me to Linkon." Frustration edged her voice. Normally, she wouldn’t dream of letting him anywhere near where she lived, but desperation was setting in. She wanted a warm shower and a soft bed. If she had to drag the big boss there herself, she’d deal with the consequences later.
Besides, it was Sylus. If he didn’t already know where she lived, he could find out in a heartbeat.
Sylus raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Not even going to woo me first before taking me to bed? How bold of you."
She clicked her tongue, irritated. "Look, I don’t want to be near you any longer than necessary, but I’m tired. And if I’m stuck in your home—which doesn’t even have a sofa—I might as well rest in mine."
He squinted, looking slightly offended by her statement. "This is not my home," he said, his nose crinkling in distaste. Wiping his hair back with his free hand, away from his face, he continued, his eyes locking with hers. "Are you not scared, kitten? Inviting me so easily?"
Hearing his reply, she nodded as though it made perfect sense. Of course—no matter how much this man gave off Dracula vibes, he still needed to sleep somewhere. A man with tastes as picky as his wouldn't live in an almost-ruin like this. Ignoring his teasing—for her own sanity—she replied, "... Maybe I am."
Her eyes met his crimson ones, unwavering. "But I know I can't hide from you. No one can, right? Not for long."
"And I promised I would help you." Her tone was serious, her words resolute. She meant it. Of course, she remained wary of Sylus and his intentions, but this was her way of trying to understand him—their connection and, ultimately, what he wanted.
Sylus, meanwhile, toyed idly with a gun, its barrel gleaming from hours of meticulous polishing during their time stuck together. His crimson eyes flicked down to the weapon as he spoke. "Glad to know you're a fast learner, sweetheart." There was something unspoken behind his words, a faint glimmer of regret buried beneath his otherwise cold demeanor.
Sensing the weight of the moment, she cleared her throat. "So, where is your place? Is it far from here?"
She suspected the reason they were stuck here was the chaos erupting after she'd absorbed the Aether core. While their connection made them vulnerable to attack, perhaps they could sneak out quickly—if it wasn’t too far to his apartment.
Of course, there was another reason for her impatience.
"No. But I can't drive a motorcycle with this binding," he said, raising their linked hands slightly as if to emphasize the point. A smirk spread across his face. "Now you even want to visit a man's place? I didn't know you were this bold."
"I'm desperate, okay?" she shot back, a flush creeping into her cheeks. Turning her face away, she tried in vain to hide it. It was mortifying, but she was on the verge of breaking down. If there was no solution in the next ten minutes, she'd die of embarrassment.
Now Sylus was curious. Something was definitely off. He scanned her from head to toe, trying to discern what she was hiding. "Are you hurt?" he asked, his deep voice calm but tinged with concern. He had been certain she was unscathed, but perhaps there was an injury he’d missed.
"... No," she mumbled, barely audible, her face now buried in her knees. She curled into herself, retreating to a shrimp-like position.
"Then what is it?" he pressed. "Tell me, kitten, or do I have to use force?" He was running out of patience, his free hand twitching as though ready to summon Mephisto at any moment.
"Oh god, this is so embarrassing," she muttered to herself, voice muffled against her knees. After a moment’s hesitation, she blurted out so quickly it was almost unintelligible, "...I have to pee."
"What?"
"I... have to pee," she whispered, barely louder.
"Kitten." His voice dropped, frustration lacing his tone. "Speak up."
Gritting her teeth, she finally yelled, "For the love of...--I have to pee!" Her face was crimson now, fully flushed. "So I need to get out of here—somewhere with a bathroom."
"Ah."
For a moment, Sylus was silent. Of all the scenarios he had imagined—injuries, ambushes, even betrayal—this was not one of them. He blinked, his crimson eyes betraying a flicker of disbelief. "That's it? You made it sound like life and death, sweetie."
She groaned, burying her face back in her knees. "Please don't. I already want the ground to swallow me whole."
"Well... that's certainly... pressing," he said after a pause, his tone betraying faint amusement.
He chuckled—a low, deep sound that sent her spiraling into further mortification. "Relax, It’s a natural thing. Even someone like me understands biology."
"Yeah, but you’re not the one stuck cuffed to someone else!" she snapped, glaring up at him through her embarrassment.
"True," he conceded with a shrug. "But at least you’re cuffed to me."
"Great, thanks for that. Still prefer not to though," she muttered, sarcasm dripping from her words.
Noticing her fidgeting, Sylus let out an exaggerated sigh and stood, pulling her up with him. "Alright, alright. Let’s get moving before you start having a fit."
Her face brightened slightly. "You mean—"
"Yes, kitten, I’ll help you find a bathroom," he said, exasperation in his tone but not without a hint of amusement. He tugged lightly on their bound, urging her to move. "But this means you’re going to owe me. Big time."
"Oh, come on!" she protested, scrambling to her feet. "You’re the one who started this whole mess in the first place!"
He smirked, clearly enjoying her frustration. "Details," he said lightly, gesturing toward the door. "Lead the way. Unless, of course, you’d prefer I carry you there?"
Her glare could have incinerated him on the spot. "Don’t you dare."
With a soft chuckle, he motioned for her to hurry up. She was already mortified enough for one night, but being involved to Sylus ensured it wasn’t going to get any easier anytime soon. --- Notes: This game has brought back my love for writing after years, so sorry for any grammar mistakes—English isn’t my first language. The story shows little snippets of their daily lives and might not stick to canon since I just started playing Sylus and haven’t unlocked most of his memories yet. If anything’s not canon, think of it as an alternate universe (AU). Also, the female main character is her own person, not a reader stand-in. Her personality comes from the conversations I picked in the game, mixed with my own imagination. Also posted in AO3
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afrsconp · 1 day ago
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I'm pretty new to this fandom but I've seen a few posts here and there about Nigel being a bad guy. And I'm not saying he's perfect (he'd be boring if he was!) but I do think some of those posts aren't really considering why, within canon, he'd (re)act the way does.
A few arguments against Nigel I've seen:
Nigel pressured Isaac to move faster than what Isaac was comfortable with, and gaslit him to manipulate him into doing what he wanted.
I can understand the argument for this, but I just don't agree with it. Both of them contributed to the way things ended up, mostly due to lack of communication, which in turn was probably just one symptom of tons of other issues: their old-timey-ness, Isaac still processing being openly gay, both of them probably unused to being in a serious relationship (with a man or otherwise) where they genuinely loved/were attracted to the other party, the prospect of literal eternity together, the sheer length of time they'd pined over each other, the fact that Isaac was the cause of Nigel's death, etc etc etc.
So when people claim things like Nigel getting mad about the daybed = Nigel manipulating Isaac into proposing, it feels a little short sighted.
More than once, we see Nigel actively try to slow things down when he sees that Isaac is uncomfortable, only for Isaac to rush forward instead (to overcompensate for his own worries):
After the truth is revealed about Jenkins lying to both of them to keep them apart, and Isaac still tries to pretend there's no romantic feelings between them, Nigel is visibly upset but doesn't push the issue. He doesn't even try to get Isaac to admit what they both know (what everyone knows!) is the truth - he just hurries away and tries to hide how much Isaac's denial has hurt him.
After offering to let Isaac sleep in the shed when the mansion ghosts have to bunk up, Nigel starts avoiding Isaac. It's not a stretch to think that Nigel was embarrassed/upset at being rejected and decided to leave Isaac alone for a while, giving them both some space, and he only confronts Isaac again when he thinks the real reason he was rejected was that Isaac had been having an affair with Thor.
When they're under the mistletoe, Nigel quickly assures Isaac that they don't have to follow tradition and can just say goodnight - only for Isaac to insist that they kiss. So it's pretty understandable that Nigel gets upset when Isaac facepalms him instead. And not only that, Nigel tries again to back off - he sees that Isaac isn't ready and reluctantly ends the relationship. And again, it's Isaac who pushes things forward by going to find him later and kissing him for real. But kissing him without any explanation about why he was so hesitant to do it before, which only compounds their issues.
When Nigel is like, "we're really baby stepping this thing, aren't we?" after Isaac invites him to move into the mansion, he clearly wants to move into Isaac's room but readily accepts moving into the library instead. He doesn't argue or make a fuss about it.
When Nigel gets upset about the daybed and Isaac tells him that he isn't ready for cohabitation, Nigel again just accepts it. He's obviously disappointed, but he doesn't make any demands. It's Isaac who suddenly jumps straight to marriage, which is something that Nigel pretty clearly did not expect him to do at all.
Just the fact that Nigel waited for Isaac to make the first move, despite it being obvious to everyone that Isaac has had feelings for him for centuries. Nigel didn't force things and knew that Isaac had to accept it for himself before anything could happen between the two of them. And so he waited. FOR OVER 200 YEARS.
2. The liaison with Jenkins during The Respite
Look, this was 100% on Nigel and he shouldn't have done it (even if they were on a respite). But given what had just happened, I can understand why he did it. The love of his life had just shown him that he still wasn't ready, even after 250 years of waiting, so Nigel was upset and frustrated and Jenkins was right there and willing. So he did something stupid, which he later describes as "meaningless" anyway.
3. The lapdance from Jenkins at the stag do
First off, the lapdance wasn't his idea. It was Trevor's, and then Jenkins just ran with it. And yeah, it's clear that Nigel enjoyed it, but it's also clear that it meant nothing to him. It didn't make him have sudden feelings for Jenkins, or made him horny for Jenkins, or anything at all that affected his feelings for Isaac. In fact, he insisted that Isaac get a lapdance too, to prove that they were just "innocent fun". So when he later realized that Isaac's lapdance wasn't as meaningless for Isaac as his own was for him, he gets upset. And, once again, it's Isaac who pushes things further, by insisting that they should still get married despite both of them starting to have doubts.
In case it isn't clear, I'm not saying Isaac is the bad guy here. They're both a product of the time period they grew up in and talking things out isn't something either of them is used to doing.
4. Nigel blackmailing Hetty and Trevor
This one just ignores the fact that Nigel only blackmails them after Hetty sabotaged Nigel's tea party. And yes, inviting Hetty last was 100% an intentional slight, but it was a slight that would've stayed private. No one else would've been aware of it - not even Hetty, had Nancy not happened to mention that Nigel invited her first. That's a very different thing to Hetty publicly embarrassing Nigel by ensuring that his tea party failed.
In any case, Hetty won that little war (as she should have; she's the Lady of the House and I love her outmanoeuvring everyone to stay on top). And after she won, they both backed off. We see them being quite civil to each other after that, like during their double date and the wedding planning (up until the pre-nup thing, but more on that below).
5. Nigel getting upset about the pre-nup
This argument is just weird to me. Plenty of people in the modern day get upset about this kind of thing all the time, so Nigel getting upset about it seems perfectly understandable. It also wouldn't be surprising if Nigel was subconsciously worried that Hetty was still trying to break them up.
In general, I think that Nigel might just be really insecure. He might've been afraid that Isaac was only with him because it was convenient? And was kind of desperate for a solid indication that Isaac's feelings were as strong as his own. And when Isaac repeatedly backed off, those doubts just kept resurfacing, to the point where I don't think Nigel even thought about possible alternative reasons for Isaac's behavior. He just went straight to "he doesn't really want me, maybe he never wanted me". But he doesn't actually say any of this to Isaac, and Isaac never actually tells him about Beatrice or why he's getting cold feet (assuming that Isaac is even aware of the reasons himself!) - until they're already at the altar, in front of everyone, and about to exchange vows. Which is just about the worst possible timing there is.
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justwhisperingfantasies · 2 days ago
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The One That Got Away
Part 2
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Characters: Reader, (Y/N), and nicknames babe(s). Jensen Ackles. Jared Padalecki. Misha Collins. Ruthie Connell. Rob Benedict. Osric Chau. Alexander Calvert. Briana Buckmaster. Eric Kripke. Lily (o.c) Abby (o.c) Brett (o.c)
Warnings: Drinking. Language. Angst. A smidgen of smut(not too graphic) Talk of blackmail, Talk of pregnancy loss, Cheating. Talks of past cheating.
Summary: You get pulled back into the magic of supernatural conventions and realize the love you once had is still there.
Word count: 6,275
A/N: Sorry it took so long. Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗
If you would like to be added to Tag List click here
Please don't copy my work
Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗
Part 1
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Jensen’s P.o.V
Jensen watched you walk away in Ruthie’s arms. He turned to Jared and sighed. “Exactly how much of that did you hear?”
“Well, I came in around blackmail. What the fuck is going on Ackles?”  Jensen explained everything to him. Jared stood there in shock. “That’s pretty much the same look (y/n) had on her face too.”
“So, when you two told me you ended it because you were better as friends...”
“Yes Jared. We lied to you. Hell, we lied to everyone. I didn’t want to be painted fuckboy Ackles, and she didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for her. So, we lied.” He said again. “I’m sorry Jared.”
Jared took a second to process everything. “We tell each other everything. Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me this?”
“I. I don’t know man. I think I was just too ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Where and when did this happen?”
“You remember that party we went to right before the hiatus between season 7 and 8?”
“Yeah… That was 2012, right?” Jared asked, trying to remember.
 Jensen nodded.  “(y/n) had to leave early because the wreck, remember?”
“That’s right. But to be honest I was really drunk, and it was a long time ago.” Jared shook his head. “What I don’t get Jay. You were going to ask her to marry you the next day. I went with you to buy the ring. I don’t see you throwing away everything you guys had drunk or not.”
“Jared, I don’t remember anything from that night. I remember dropping off at the airport. Next thing I know is I’m waking up in a stranger’s bed naked.
“You don’t remember it at all?”
“Nope.” Jensen gestured for them to go inside. “I tried Jared. I tried to find her during hiatus. She wouldn’t return my phone calls. No one would tell me where she was. Then Kelsey called me telling me she was pregnant and started with the blackmail.
“Dude again why didn’t you tell me?”
Jensen sighed. “I didn’t want her to have any more power than she already had. If she knew that you knew she could use me to get you to do whatever she wanted.”
“How did she do it? Like what did she threaten you with?” Jared asked as they made their way to the elevator
“Media mainly. Before she lost the baby, she threatened to go to everyone and anyone that would listen about how I knocked her up and left her and the baby. Then after, I’d be the asshole that left the mother after just losing the baby. I was young and just starting out. I believed everything she said. You know how one dumb rumor can ruin someone’s life or career. I just wish I would of went to my dad sooner.”
“I wish you would have told me, but I understand why you felt like you couldn’t. I’m sorry I should have known something was wrong.” He hit the call button
“J.P Don’t do that; you have nothing to be sorry for. You wouldn’t of had a reason to doubt anything, from what I hear I’m a pretty good actor.” He smiled. Jared let out a soft chuckle “besides we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it, move on, and try to repair the damage.”
“Yea... At least she knows the truth now. Maybe you guys could get back”
“I’m not.”
“Jensen. I was going to say get back to being friends.
“I don’t know Jared she’s pretty hurt and didn’t say much even after I told her.”
“Give her time to process everything. You might be surprised.” The doors opened and they walked through, hitting the button with their floor number.
“I’m not getting my hopes up.” Just then Jensen’s phone went off. It was a text from a number he didn’t recognize. He raised his eyebrows as he read.
“What?!” Jared asked.
“Jensen don’t call Eric. Just think about it.”
“Well told ya you might be surprised.”
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Reader’s P.o.V
You woke to a knock on your hotel door. “Go away!” you yelled.
“I have coffee.”  You heard someone yell back.
“Ok hold on.” You rubbed your temples trying to get the slight headache to stop as you sat up.  You got up and looked in the mirror. You quickly ran a brush through your hair and splashed some cold water on your puffy eyes.
There was another knock. “Come on, it’s getting cold.”
“Keep your panties on.” you yelled as you walked to the door. “Lily? What are you doing here? How’s your dad?” you opened the door wider and stepped out of the way.
“My dad is fine. Just a broken wrist.” She handed you a cup of coffee stepping through the doorway. You closed the door behind her. “The truck not so much, but it could have been way worse.”
“Well, that’s good. But what are you doing here?”
“Rescuing you.” she said sitting down on the sofa.
“For real?”
“Yep, you’re off the hook babes. You can go home.” She looked up from her coffee. “What’s that look?”
“What look?”
“That look. He got to you.”
“Lily. It’s not like that.”
“Ugh I knew you coming here was a bad idea. I swear I’m to kick.”
“Lil. I have to tell you something.” You sat beside her and told her everything. 
“Oh my god.”
“I know”
“Oh my god!”
“Can you say anything else?”
 “So, he didn’t love her.”
“Apparently not.”
“I thought something felt off, but I just thought it was the energy from whatever happened between you two.”
“Lily you’re not psychic”
“But I am psychic adjacent.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s not a thing.”
“Wait. Not trying to be a Debbie downer here, but how do you know he wasn’t lying?”
“He wasn’t lying.” you assured her.
“How do.”
“Because I know Lil.” She looked at you. “Trust me I know.”
“Oh my god. So does this mean y’all are gonna get back together?”
You sighed. “Lily, I can’t.” she gave you a puzzled look. “don’t look at me like that you know why.”
“Right.” She took a drink of her coffee
“You still love him...”
“Doesn’t matter.”
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Jensen’s P.o.V
As he waited to go through the curtain for the morning gold panel, he couldn’t help but wonder if she would be sitting in her seat. He smiled at the thought.
“You ready man?” Jared asked. He nodded. “Let’s go.”
They walked out on-stage waving and blowing kisses at the crowd. His eyes glanced down hoping to see her face. Nope damnit. The women sitting her sitting in (y/n)’s seat waved. He furrowed his brows but waved back. What the hell was Lily doing here. Did (y/n) leave?
“Jensen you ready for questions?”
“Yes, sorry. Need more coffee.” He said the cup in his hand with a smile, the audience laughed. “Alright, your blue hoodie.”
. She left and the only relationship you would have at this point would be professional. Come on Jensen head in the panel he thought
“Jensen? You ok man? “Jared asked nudging his arm
“Yep. What was the question?”
Jared repeated it to him, and he did his best to answer it. As the minutes ticked by and the questions kept coming, he tried his best to stay focused. He managed it for most of the panel except when Jared got a question and his mind started to wander, but Jared knew what was going on, so he tried to keep Jensen engaged in conversation with his answers.
“Alright. Thank you, guys. We love you all. Take care.” They walked to the opening of the curtain. “Ok how bad was it?”
“The beginning was rocky, after you got out of your head it was bad at all.” Jared promised him. “You gonna be, ok?”
“Gonna have to be.” 
Jared sighed. “Is there anything I can do?”
Jensen smiled. “Unless you got a Jennie, not really”
“So, you boys have some time before your meet and greet. Y’all hungry?”
His whole body froze. She didn’t leave.
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Reader’s P.o.V
Jared spun around, “(y/n) we thought you left.”
You took a step back and raised your hands. “Do not pick me up Padalecki!”
He laughed. Jensen finally turned around.
Jared could feel the tension between the two of you. “let’s go get some grub.” He turned around and started walking. You and Jensen followed.
You and Jensen followed in awkward silence.
“So have you thought about the part?” you asked Jensen
“Yea. I think it would be fun. He is a complete dickhead though.”
“Oh, a total scumbag, but.”
“You’re really going to defend him?”
“I agreed with you.”
“With a but.”
“Ben is the character you love to hate. You know he’s fucked up and yet you find your self hoping he will do the right thing. Who knows maybe this whole asshole thing is just a front.” Jensen raised his eyebrows at you. “The guy has ptsd, been tortured by the Russians for years, screwed over and used by Vought, screwed over by his own team and the woman that supposed loved him. I think if we got the right guy to play him, he could be a real fan favorite” You nudged into him.
“Why do you have such a hard on for this character?” he asked as he opened the green room door for you.
You took a step, then turned to him “I guess I just have a thing for assholes.”  You teased.
Jensen’s jaw dropped. “Wow! That was a cheap shot.”
You walked to the fridge and pulled out 2 bottles of water, tossing one at Jensen. He caught it and took a drink.
“Plus, you’d look good super suit, Ackles.” You said laughing as you sat on the couch.
He chuckled and sat beside you laying his arm across the back of the couch behind you.
You heard the door open and looked up when you heard your nickname. “Babes! You’re still here?!” Misha sat down on the other side of you. “And still wearing that Cowboys hat I see.” He flicked the bill of your baseball cap.
“Be careful Collins. If you hurt this hat I will hurt, you.” You pulled the bill back down and stroked it. “And yes, every game day.”
“Is that the one you stole?” Jensen chimed it.
“I did not steal it.”
“Yes, you did. You came to grab me for a scene.” He winked at you  “You asked to borrow it because you didn’t have a scrunchy.” 
“I’m still borrowing it.”
“10 years later?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.
“Yep.”
He smiled and shook his head.
Before you could stop it, the memory was already replaying in your head.
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Year 2008:
“We gotta get back babe, Sgriccia said 25 minutes.”
“I don’t want to.” You protested.
“Trust me. I’d rather lay here with you like this.” He lifted the sheet for a peek “Come on just a couple of scenes and we will be right back here. Exactly like this.” He waggled his eyebrows making you smile.
“Promise?”
He smiled. “I promise.” He kissed you.  He got up and picked your clothes up and laid them on the bed.
 You got dressed and looked in the mirror. Your hair was a wreck. “Can I borrow a hat?”
“A hat?”
“Yes, someone made my hair all messy.” You pointed at him and mouthed the word you, making him laugh. “I don’t have a brush or scrunchy to fix it and I know your ass has a million hats around here.” He handed you his new Dallas cowboy’s hat. “Thank ya love.” He nodded with a smile.
“You ready?” he asked holding out your coat for you.
“Yep.” You put your arms in and turned to face him. He gave you one more kiss. “I love you, Ross.”
“I love you too baby.”
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Jensen cleared his throat bringing you back. You looked at him, his eyes told you he was reminiscing as well. You shot up off the couch and awkwardly walked over to the fridge. You opened it and pretended to look for something.
“Look who I found.” Abby said walking through the door with Lily following her. “Did we plan a reunion this weekend?”
You smiled. “Don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love seeing our faces, Abigail.” She narrowed her eyes as you said her full name. you blew her a kiss with a dramatic mwah sound.
“Hey, are you guys going to Rob’s thing tonight?” Jared asked you walk
“What thing?”
“I guess Louden Swain is having a pop-up at the bar across the street tonight.”
“I don’t know.” You looked over to Lily who was attempting puppy dog eyes with her bottom lip pouted. You sighed. “You guys and you’re damn puppy eyes.”
Lily’s face perked up. “Is that a, yes?”;
“Yes.” You said walking toward the door “Come on boys. Meet and greet time. Jensen and Jared followed you. “You too Lily?” you held your elbow out to her. She linked her arm in yours and you walked out the door.
You watch Jensen and Jared interact with their fans with a smile on your face. You felt someone nudge your arm. “Hey there.” Osric said.
You smiled at him “What’s up Oz?”
“Nothin. Hanging out.
“Sounds fun.”
You look back at Jensen. He was watching you. His face was hard, and his brows scrunched together. You raised your hands and eyebrows in a what gesture.
“He’s jealous.” Osric said.
“Oh, shut up. He is not.”
“You want me to prove it?” you rolled your eyes and Osric put his arm around you. You watched Jensen’s jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.
 “Don’t piss him off. You shook off Osric’s arm. “But why would he be jealous of you?”
“He knows I had a thing for you back in the day.”
“Speaking of things from back in the day.” You nodded your head towards Lily who was walking up carrying 2 carriers full of coffee cups. Osric smiled.
She sat down the 2 cup carriers she had in her arms and pulled out your coffee. “Here you go.” She said holding it out to you.
“Lily you could ask for help ya know.”
“Eh I’m used to it, Oh, hey Osric. How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you?”
“Good, good.” The awkward tension made you cringe. He said, “Here, let me help you” he picked up one of the carriers.
“See ya around Babes.” He winked at you, and you nodded as they walked away.
Jensen’s face relaxed and you shook your head at him. His attention went back to his face, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched. He was so good to his fans. He smiled at you and your heart fluttered. Man, why did he have to go and fuck everything up? You stood there pondering how much different you life would be with him.
“So, can I ask how the whole babe/babes thing started?” An unfamiliar voice made you jump. You looked over to find Alexander standing next to you.
“Really?! Nobody’s told you the story?”
“No. Everyone just says that’s what we’ve always called her.”
“Hmm. Ok. So back in season 3 Jensen and I started dating, everyone kind of new, but nobody really pressed us about it. We wanted to stay professional on set and around our co-workers. One day Jensen let babe slip out on set. Padalecki and Beaver started calling me babe to mock him and it just kind of stuck. Next thing you know everyone was doing it.”
“How long did you guys’ date?”
“Almost 4 years.”
“So, what happened?”
“We were just better off as friends. I guess,”
“I call bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“It seriously took you almost 4 years to realize you were better off as friends?”
“Babes.” Abby walked over to you “Can you take the boys out to lunch for me? I got something I have to take care of.” Abby grabbed you, you waved and Alex nodded as she drug you away.
“Am I gonna get paid for today?”
“Put it on my tab.” She smiled at you.
You made your way over to the table as the event ended.  “Y’all hungry?”
“Starving.” Jensen said and Jared nodded.
“Well come on. We are going out for lunch.”
“Who’s we?” Jensen asked.
“You, Jared, Lily, and me?”
“Ok I’ll go.”
“I mean if you don’t want to.”
“It’s not that. I just don’t wanna be the third wheel to you and Osric.”
“Really Jensen?”
“Well, you looked pretty cozy a minute ago.”
You rolled your eyes. You motioned Lily and started walking toward the elevators. She met you on your way. “You, ok?”
“Jensen being Jensen.” you looked over your shoulder, the boys were a way back but following.
“So, Lily, You’re a cast p.a now?” Jared said trying to relieve the awkward tension in the air that lingered around the table.
“Yeah, It’s a lot of fun. So much better than a grip assistant.”
“You gonna follow in (y/n)’s footsteps and become a writer?”
You smiled at her. “No. I could never. I really don’t know how she does it. It’s amazing. I wish you could read her work right now. What she did with Soldier Boy was awesome.”
Jensen’s eyes snapped up to you and your smile faded. “You wrote Soldier Boy?” he asked.
“I helped develop him for television.” His green eyes leered at you. “I did not create him myself.”
“Helped?” Lily continued “Eric loved everything you suggested for him. She made him so good. He’s a dick, but you got to love him.”
You sighed and went back to your plate. “Hey Eric.” Your eyebrows raised when you heard Jensen say Eric’s name. “I’m good bud. How are you?”  He laughed. You looked back up at him. Shit he was probably going to say no. You didn’t think Eric would fire you over it, but it wasn’t out of the question. “Well, you know I had to get woo-ed first.” He laughed again. “Yeah, she is good at getting what she wants huh.” More laughter. “Yes sir. Write me up a contract. Me and Frank will meet up with y’all” He listened. “Alright man I’ll talk to you later… bye” he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. Your phone buzzed. You looked it and read the message.
Eric: Thank you!
You smiled as you turned the screen off and put your phone back on the table. The waitress came back over “Can I get you guys anything else?” she batted her eyes at Jensen, he flashed a smile at her. “No darlin’ just the check.” You rolled your eyes as he winked at you.
You stepped up to the elevator’s call button and pressed it. Jared and Jensen walked up as you waited. Jensen stood beside so close your arms were touching. The doors open and you start to walk but Jensen stopped you. “We’ll meet y’all up there. I have to talk to (y/n).” Lily looked at you and you nodded. The doors shut.
“What?” You asked but he stayed silent and then pressed the call button once Jared and Lily started going up. “’Jensen. What do you want?”
The second set of doors opened, and He gestured you to go first. You got in and leaned against the back wall.
“Ya know babes, You’re pretty cute when you’re jealous.” He pushed the button for your floor and turned around.
“What?”
“The waitress at lunch. I noticed your eye rolls and dirty looks.”
You sighed. “Have you ever heard the story about the kettle and pot?”
He gave you a flirty smile.  “So, what if I was?” He closed the space between you and slid his hands on your face, bringing his lips just inches away from yours. His eyes searching yours for a refusal, but you didn’t give one. His lips captured yours in a passionate kiss. Electricity coursed through your veins. Before you could stop them, your arms wrapped around his neck deepen the kiss further. His arms found their way around your waist pulling you into him. The elevator dinged and reality set back in ending the kiss.  He rested his forehead on yours.
“Jensen.” you whimpered between pants.
“Please don’t ruin this.”
“I’m sorry I can’t do this.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t.”
“Just tell me why and it will never come up again.
“I’m getting married.
 “Bullshit. Padalecki would have told me.” He tilted his head to kiss you again
You pulled back. “Jared doesn’t know.” His eyes shot open.
“When?”  
“5 weeks.”
“You’re getting married in 5 weeks and you didn’t invite Jared?” He asked, bringing his forehead back down to yours.
“Family only. You know I never wanted a big wedding.”
His face scrunched in pain. “Do you still love me?”
“Jensen...” you blinked back tears.
Your breath hitched as his hands smacked his palms against the wall. “Just answer the question!” He demanded.
You couldn’t stop the tears any longer. You nudged him. He didn’t move. “Jensen Please.”
He stepped out of the way, and you walked off the elevator. Your phone started to ring on the way back to your room. Your phone started to ring. Fucking fantastic you thought as you saw the name.
“Hey,” your voice cracked as you answered your phone.
“What’s wrong?” Brett asked.
“Nothing.”
“Eric just told me the news.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Congrats. I didn’t think you’d be able to actually pull it off babe.”
You hmphed. “Well thanks.”
“Don’t take it like that. Hey gotta go Angela needs me.”
“Oh of course.” The tears started again.
“Don’t be like that. She’s, my boss.”
“And she totally has a thing for you.”
“You’re Being crazy.”
“Yep. I’m the problem.”
“Seriously? I gotta go. Can we finish this later?”
“Yep.” You hung up
“Hey, what happened?” Lily asked as you opened the door.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You threw his hat on your bed and headed for the bathroom.
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Jensen’s P.o.V.
“The answer was always going to be yes, J.p” he said as they walked off the elevator. “I just wanted more time with her.” “And did it help?” “Kind of yea.” Jared rolled his eyes. “I guess in a fucked-up way. At least the truth is out now. Maybe y’all can work on being friends now.” “I don’t think it will ever be the way it was. He said as they started across the street. “Well maybe you should try to find a new way to be friends with her.” They walked through the doors and the bar was packed. “I gotta pee. I’ll be right back.” Jensen pointed at the bar and Jared nodded. Jensen’s eyes scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found. “She’s not here yet.” He sat down on the barstool next to Ruthie. “But she told me she was coming and she’s not one to break her word.” She took a drink. “You guys ok now?” “Honestly Ruthie. I have no idea. I did something stupid.” “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.” she teased. “Oh, gee thanks.” He smiled. “I was being malicious dear, just trying to say you do dumb shit when you’re in love.” “Do you know?” Ruthie’s eyebrows creased, “In 5 weeks.” “Yes, I know.” She sighed. “He’s an arsehole. I wish she would see it.” “Really?” “I shouldn’t be telling you this.” She took another drink. “We’ll blame it on the whiskey.” She winked at him. “I know you would treat her a million times better. Hell, she probably knows it. She’s just letting the past scare her.” He opened his mouth, but she put her hand up. “I know Jensen. But you will have o prove it to her.” He nodded. Jared walked back up and their phones went off at the same time “The cowboys won!!” Jared yelled, turning around. And leaning his back on the bar. “Finally stopped that losing streak.” Jensen said as they bumped fists. “You want a beer?” Jared nodded. Jensen go the bartender’s attention “3 Coronas Please.” Jared gave him a puzzled look. “She’ll be here.” The bartender sat down the beers and Jensen handed him his card. “Start a tab.” The bartender nodded. “Thank you.” “Dude.” “You can send me your half later.” “There she is.” Jared yelled and Jensen turned around on the stool. Damn she looked good. Tight jeans, white tee, He smiled when he saw she still had his hat on, but even with the makeup he could tell she’d been crying. “How bout dem boys? Huh?” She smiled. “What are we drinking?” “Whatever you want princess.” Jared teased. “Tequila.” She turned around. “Bri. Come do a shot with me.” “Hell yea.” “Ruthie. You want one?” “Not tonight boys. We have an early flight tomorrow.” She told them. “I’ll take Ruthie’s” (y/n) said. “I’ll do a second one with her.” Bri said Jensen raised his eyebrows. “You’re gettin drink tonight huh?” “I’m having fun tonight.” She smiled again “Alright.” Jared counted. “6 shots of tequila please.” The bartender brought over the shots with lime slices and a saltshaker. Jared picked up the saltshaker “Hands.” Jared said and licked his own hand. The three of them licked between their thumb and index finger, then held them up to Jared. He poured salt where they licked. “Limes” he said as he handed them each a lime. “Shots.” He handed each of them a glass and brought his into the center of them. They clinked their shot glasses together as they licked the salt and then took the shot. “Ready for another one?” Bri asked you “Yes ma’am.” Jared held out the saltshaker and the girls repeated the process. Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the face she made when she took the lime out of her mouth. “Still not a fan of limes I see.” “No not really.” She confirmed. “I gotta pee.” Bri grabbed (y/n)’s hand and drug her to the bathroom. Jared turned to Jensen. “She’s been crying.” “I know Jared.” Jensen cleared his throat. “My fault.” “Maybe we should just lock you two in a room and let you scream it out.” Jensen chuckled. “Keep buying Tequila shots and it will probably happen.” “I don’t know Ackles. She’s the happiest drunk I’ve ever seen. Might make the situation better.” Jared smiled deviously. “Well judging by that smile, I guess we will find out.”
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Reader’s P.o.V
“Ok spill.” Bri said as the bathroom door shut.
“What?”
She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “the way you guys are looking at each other, ya know like you used to.”
“Bri. I’m supposed to be getting married in 5 weeks.”
“What?! You and Jensen. Oh my god final.”
“No not Jensen. His name is Brett. He works with me on the boys.”
“Oh. Why the supposed to be.”
“I don't know.” You told her about the conversation you had earlier today and the big fight you had before you came out. “When I told him I was going out with my supernatural friends, he lost his shit.”
“If he doesn’t make you happy. You need to call it off.”
“But everything has already been paid for and its not bad all the time.”
“Do you really want to get married because everything has been paid for?”
“You have a point.”
“Look just have fun with us tonight. Really let your hair down. You deserve fun. Tomorrow go home and hash it out with him. If you guys can’t come to an understanding, I’d say kick him to the curb. Deal?”
“Deal. Now go pee so we can go back to drinking.” She chuckled with you.
“Another round of shots?” Jared asked as you walked up to them.
“Maybe we should slow down a bit J.p.” Jensen suggested.
“Aw what’s wrong cowboy? Can’t handle your liquor anymore.”
He raised his eyebrow and gestured for another round. “Add another one.” Jensen told Jared as Lily walked up.
“Lily!!” You and Bri yelled together.
She smiled. “Really boys? I leave her alone with you for 5 minutes and she’s taking tequila shots?”
“I am a grown up. and I’ve only had 2.
“Bout to be 3.” Jared said turning around with the saltshaker. “Hands.”
“Can we get a lemon slice please?” Jensen asked the bartender. He sat the shots down and got in the fridge.
“Thank you.” You smiled.
The 5 of you repeated the took the shots and slammed the glasses on the bar.
“Bri!” you heard someone yell.
“I’ll be back.” Bri said and walked away.
You sat the deflated lemon slice on the counter. Leaning on the bar closer to him than you probably should have. “Is this for me?” You asked, pointing to the extra beer sitting by Jensen’s.
“Yep.” He said and picked his up.
“Well thank you.”
“No problem princess.” He teased and you squinted at him.
“How much time before they come on?” Lily asked.
Jared looked at his watch. “About 45 minutes.”
“(y/n), let’s go play a song” Lily said pointing at the fancy jukebox. You grabbed your beer and followed her.
“Really babe, Tequila shots?” she questioned you.
“Yes, Tequila shots. Lily, I have had a rough week. I want to have a fun night with my friends. So quit being a buzzkill and have fun with me, please.”
“Alright.” She walked up to the bar. You started scrolling through the songs. Lily came back over holding 2 shots. Your jaw dropped. “Let’s have fun then.” You clicked the glasses and took the shot. You turned back to the jukebox as she took your glass and returned it back to the bar.
“Yes!” you slid your card and tapped the song you wanted. You looked over at Jensen who smiled as soon as the music started. “His eyes are cold and rest” You sang “And his wounds have almost healed.” His smile got bigger.
“And she’d give half of Texas, just to change the way he feels.” Jared belted out making you laugh.
“She knows his loves in Tulsa.” You yelled back at him. Making your way back over to the boys.
“And she knows he’s gonna go.”  Jared said turning to you
“But it ain’t no women flesh and blood, it’s that damned old rodeo.” You and Jared sang loudly. Everybody laughed.
You turned to Jensen who was shaking his head. “What’s wrong Ackles, did you forget the words?” you teased him.
“No, just not 4 shots deep yet, darlin.”
“4?”
“Her and Lily snuck one without us.”
Jared shook his head at you.
You smiled. “Better catch up Padalecki.”
He looked over to Jensen. “2 more Jay.?”
“Come on Ross. Live a little.”  You gave him a cheeky grin.
He chuckled “Alright let’s go.”  He got the bartender’s attention and held up 4 fingers.
“Hello?” lily answered her phone. “Yes, Brett she’s right here hold on.” You rolled your eyes as she held her phone out to you.
You took it and put it to your ear. “Hey. Hold on.” You turned and walked toward the door.
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Jensen’s P.o.V
“Who’s Brett?” Jared asked as he and Jensen sat their empty glasses down. Thank you for asking Jared. Jensen thought to himself.
“Another writer on the show.” Lily said as she stepped up to the bar and ordered a drink.
“Why is he calling your phone looking for (y/n)?” Jared asked clinking glasses with Jensen before they took the second shot.
“He asked if she was ok. She wasn’t answering her phone. She probably forgot it and didn’t want to go back up.”
“My tab.” Jensen told the bartender as he took Lily’s drink and held it out to her.
“Thanks Jay.” She said as she took it from him.
“No problem.” He grabbed his beer.
“Come on Ackles. Let’s go play some music.”
Jensen nodded and followed Jared over to the jukebox.
“Did she mention this Brett guy to you?” he asked Jared as he slid his card in the card reader. He picked a song “You’re up.”
“No. Why would she?”  Jared asked searching for the song he wanted. “Now You.” They switched spots.
“I don’t know. It just seems odd.” He searched for her favorite. Jared rolled his eyes.
“You’re over thinking it. you need to get out of that jealous ex-boyfriend headspace bro.”
“I know its just hard with her.” He makes the final choice. “Done.”
“Jared!!” Mark yelled from one of the tables.
“I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be at the bar.”
Jensen started back to his seat to find (y/n) sitting in it. “I think you’re in my seat little lady.”
She spun around to face him. “Well, ya know what they say about moving your feet.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re lucky.” He stood beside her leaning on the bar.
She smiled. “Or you’re just yellow bellied.”
He laughed. “I’d watch that mouth.”
“Oh, or what?”
“You really don’t wanna go there.”
She giggled. “So tough.” He smirked and shook his head.
He leaned against the bar and took a drink of his beer. “So, is everything alright? Lily said that Brett guy was worried about you.”
“What did she tell you?”
“Just that he’s another write for The Boys, you weren’t answering your phone, so he got worried and called Lily’s phone. Where is Lily anyway?”
“Bathroom.” She took a drink. “Everything is fine.”
“You know I know when you’re lying right?” Jensen asked and took a drink of his beer.
“I’m not lying we got into an argument, but everything is fine now.”
“An argument about what?” She stayed silent. “Ohh that’s him. huh. The guy you are supposed to marry?”
“Yea.” She sighed. “Can we not talk about it?”
“Thought we were trying this whole friend thing out?”
“So be my friend and drink with me. I wanna have fun. Make me forget my problems.”
“They’ll still be there in the morning.”
“Then I’ll deal with them then.” She took the last drink of her beer. “Or I can just got get Bri.” She got the bartender’s attention and pointed at her beer.
“Another for you sir?” the bartender asked as he sat down (y/n)’s beer.
“Yes, please and 2 more shots.” She smiled.
 “Oh of course you’d play this song.”
He smiled. “Mama told me, When I was young.” Her face lit up when he started singing, making his heart do a little flutter. "Come sit beside me, my only son, and listen closely to what I say, and if you do this it'll help you Some sunny day"
“Still got that pretty voice huh?”
“Guess so.”
The bartender sat the shots on the bar. “Uh what’s this?” Lily asked as she walked back up to you and Jensen. Jared was right behind her.
“Thought y’all were going do one without us?”
She looked at him and giggled.
“Add 2 more"
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Reader’s P.o.V.
“Come on I wanna get a good spot.” Lily yelled.
Jensen grabbed your hand “follow me.” you grabbed Lily’s hand, and she grabbed Jared’s arm. Jensen led you guys almost to the front. You stood next to him looking down at his hand still holding yours. “Sorry.” He let it go.
You didn’t know if it was your feelings or the 6 shots of tequila you had, but you felt kind of disappointed. You shook it off. The band came out and the crowd went crazy. You couldn’t help but smile at Jensen as he cheered. Just as Rob started to sing some big muscle bond guy stepped in front of you. Blocking your view.
Then you felt his hands on your shoulders, pulling you in front of him so you could see. He dropped his hands, but you could feel him behind you. Lily came over wiggling her hips and singing along with the band. You downed the rest of your beer and started to do the same.
“Lily!!” you heard someone yell. You look over and Lily is dancing her way to Osric. You leaned back and found Jensen’s neck pulling his ear down to you. “Is your jealousy cured now?” you pointed over to them, they were dancing together now.
He brought his lips to your ear. “Almost.”
“What does that mean?”
"Still got one more to get rid of." He licked his lips keeping his bottom lip in his teeth.
Shit maybe the tequila was a bad idea. You couldn’t stop yourself. You had to fill his lips again. You pulled him down, smashing your lips together in needy desire. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Pulling you to him, you parted your lips and shivers ran up your spine when he slides his tongue on yours making you roll your hips. He let out a small growl and thrusted his hips. letting you feel his hardening shaft on your ass. Making you moan softly. He pulled back and spun you around. His hands found your ass and pulled you close again. And his lips were back on yours. Your arms slid around his neck. Pulling him into you just as hard as he was pulling you into him. He double tapped your right thigh, and you brought your knee up to his hip. Flames shot from your core as he hooked his hand under your ass and pushed his hardness into you. You trailed kisses up to her ear.
“You wanna get out of here Cowboy?
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mushyposts · 3 days ago
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TUMBLR PLEAAASE LET ME POST THIS NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
OF COURSE!!! This is the sort of analysis I could honestly talk about for hours, and if you have ANY more thoughts on my fic, please please PLEASE dont be scared to message me and hash it out!! I absolutely love the chance to think critically and analytically about my work.
You are absolutely not projecting, and even if you were, that would be entirely valid!! Creativity exists as a vessel for us as humans to feel, and if my writing at all helps you process any feelings you have around the themes I explore in it then I think i have more then succeeded in my task as a writer! : D
I also think that as a writer, I can put as much intent as I physically can into my writing. I can spend hours working to make sure a certain theme is perceived the specific way I want it to be, but if someone takes it a different way then I cant change that! I can take it as it is, and from there move and try to approach the theme in a different way, but people all have different live experiences that will make them see what i write differently. My experiences with parental figures, their presence, lack of, and their affection towards me will always be different to yours for example, and that means you will see how I write the parental dynamics in my writing different to how I do! Does that make sense?
Okay onto the actual analysis LMAO!! I think that people get caught up in this idea of "The choice was made for the greater good, so he should be absolved." and although yes, there is merit to understanding Hakoda didn't want to leave and was doing what he thought was the best choice for his kids and the future of his tribe its also SUPER important to understand that there were other ways.
A few things when considering the argument of Hakoda taking ALL the men, is firstly that we don't actually know how many people were in the "fleet" and there is some defence to the idea of them needing every working hand they can get, however I also think that alongside this argument is if Hakoda was doing this to protect his tribe it would have made sense to at LEAST leave enough men to defend them, or train Sokka and the other younger boys to have some form of defence.
I think the closest we get at seeing how many are in the fleet is pre-black sun, when they all meet up, and even then those numbers are skewed because of the involvement of other groups of people. EG: The swamp benders, the earthbenders and then the people who took residence at the northern airtemple. I do, however, personally believe that there should have been some men left behind to defend.
Another thing to consider is the canon timeline for when Kya dies and then when Hakoda leaves and then to canon actually is kind of inconsistent? We can assume Hakoda left around when Sokka was 13, but during the flashback of Kya's death along with the flashbacks in Bato of the water tribe where we see Hakoda leave, Sokka actually looks a lot younger. As far as I'm aware, as a show only watcher who doesnt actively intend on reading the comics, we dont really know how long the time between Kyas death and Hakoda leaving is. I even say at the start of my fic that I fucked with the canon timeline a bit to make it line up a bit better.
I think the show acknowledges Hakoda's abandonment and the complex ways thats hurt both Sokka and Katara in subtle ways. Katara very outwardly displaying her upset, albeit initially passive aggressively, she does eventually burst out, telling him "we needed you." and Hakoda apologises. Sokka is more internal, he obsesses over his ability to explain his plans, how he's perceived by his peers, an obsession with masculinity and what it means to be a man when you were never truly taught it in the first place.
I also think something that people tend to get mixed up with when it comes to critiquing Hakoda as a father, is they often equate being a bad dad, to being an abuser.
Hakoda, at least in my interpretations and I never intend for him to come off as so, isnt an abusive father. He is not a perfect father, he has made many choices that led to the long lasting hurt of his children. Speaking in the development of my own fic and how i've worked with Hakoda's character, he is an absent figure who was faced with an impossible choice and should have thought through it in more depth. He made a choice, and although its hard to fully say without a doubt he chose wrong, it had severely negative ramifications on the mental well being of his children.
Theres a lot to be said on the nuance of abuse, neglect, absent parental figures, especially fathers, and I don't want to speak TOO heavily on this because again, its such a nuanced and complex topic that I think I couldn't even begin to unwrap in tumblr reblogs. Theres some incredible fics out there exploring this with Hakoda and Sokka's dynamic, and I even have a one shot in the making all about this stuff in the canon universe seperate from my writing, but I just REALLY want to emphasise that I am so aware of how Zuko will come off to Sokka as a replacement.
I think in Zukka fics, or any fic with their dynamic, Sokka is often used as a tool for Zuko's healing, and his own trauma and negative experiences are put on the backburner in turn for Zuko's more outwardly present trauma. This is never something I want to do in my writing, I want to give a stage to each characters trauma, experiences and lives and try to show that things arent always as clean cut as they seem.
Hakoda abandoned Sokka and Katara. he left Sokka to be a man, without truly giving him the tools to do so.
Hakoda saved Zuko from death, and gave him a chance at life again.
These are two things that can exist at once, and the existence of one does not negate the other. People are a mess of good, bad, neutral, and its so hard to untangle it. Sometimes it doesnt even need to be untangled, sometimes you just need to hold the mess that people are and know it isnt a slight on you. You didnt cause the tangle, some tangles just are, yknow??
I also do personally believe in canon there are a lot of gaps that dont fully make sense in reference to Hakoda's character, and I think he honestly could have been executed a lot better in canon, so thats also something I like to consider whenever I am thinking too hard abt Hakodas character!!
I hope this made ANY sense at all. I usually have to sift through my writing like, a hundred times to get any kind of sense out of it, but truly this has been such a pleasure to write about!! : D Ur thoughts are so well written, and its incredible, as i said before, to see people picking up on the more nuanced things I'm trying to set up for future chapters!! it helps keep my steam for writing this honestly WAY bigger fic then I intended going!! : D I am MORE then happy to indulge!!!! If anything, this is indulging for ME! So thank YOU!!!
(Also, to answer ur tags, it isnt bad ur a bit mad at Hakoda!! He's flawed, thats okay! He's made mistakes just like anyone does. His just have more ramifications since he's the adult. I am a HUGE Hakoda stan and I do love him, but trying to work around canon and make him be a good father... A bit tricky!!)
I already put this on ao3 in a comment but you made me cry so you have to see it twice now. I know this entire story is Zuko-centric but I literally can't stop thinking about what this au means for Sokka.
Ok I just have to say I felt so heartbroken for Sokka here. All I could think about was how all of a sudden there's a boy in the place he's supposed to be. HE should be travelling with the men, HE should've been with them for the last three years, HE should be trusted enough with all this important stuff he should know if he is the next chief/acting chief.
He is being told this new kid has seen and done things the most skilled of warriors couldn't have done, like he is this almost untouchable standard Sokka can't reach. Then to be told he's taken Sokka's place in the tribe as Hakoda's and Batos' adopted child, teaching him how to be a man over the three years Sokka didn't even know his father, never a letter, never knowing when they would come home. Then being told by that same kid that he was only playing war. not to mention the piercings and jewellery he's adorned with.
Sokka has been the leader of the remnants of the Southern Water Tribe for three years, and due to the strict gender divides, had no one to teach him how to lead in the way a chief would. He has been the one hunting, defending, in charge of the future of their civilisation, the education of the children, which is really important in their culture. the memories of his father would be so twisted to the memories Hadoka has of Sokka. Sokka, in the months before he left, lost his mother, protecting his little sister. he then saw his father fall deep into depression, becoming very detached, and from what is described, angry and violent, not towards him, but that his still scary behaviour to witness. Then, his father left, and he was told he couldn't come, and that he was in charge of the village. Even though it was probably to boost his ego at the time more than anything, the impact on Sokka in that moment, combined into quite literally what his job becoming.
Just imagine when he finds out the secrets Zuko's hiding and how his father and Bato knew and didn't tell him. Sokka has struggled with feeling like he isn't important, as a non-bender and his relations with his sister, her being a prodigy + a bender, and his father, always feeling like he wasn't enough for his dad, not good enough, not smart enough, not needed, but the Zuko's good enough, Hakoda loves him.
Zuko, who has had an incredibly traumatic and difficult childhood, the last three years of his life is where he has found and made a spot for himself in a positive community that loves him and supports him, Sokka has become increasingly more and more isolated, and his sense of self has changed even more dramatically in the last few weeks.
Sorry for the long rant, but I could just feel Sokka's fears and insecurities screaming at me throughout the chapter. Love this work though, just cried for Sokka <3
HIII OH YOU SO GET IT!! OH YOU SOOOO GET IT!! The fic is for SURE Zuko-centric, but I have been intentionally layering on the potential for his arc to align with Sokka's in completely the opposing way. Zuko has everything Sokka wants, he has a space with the crew, the warriors. he spent the last three years with his father and Bato, bonding, developing his identity as a person alongside the tribe, welcomed in, he has gotten to be everything that Sokka has always wanted. Meanwhile, Sokka has everything that Zuko wants. Sokka was home, somewhere safe with people who cared for him and looked up to him, with his sister, away from his parents and in a position where he was in charge of his own life. Its such a twisted, complex situation where the two crave, desperately, what the other has without thinking about the context. Without thinking of what got the other to the point of having what they wanted, both in turn. IM SOOO happy to see someone talking about Sokka ohhhughhh im so fucking happy. I think a lot of people have focused on Sokka's initial attitude towards Zuko, without thinking about every single thing you've brought up in this beautifully constructed comment, of which I am really excited to eventually flesh out when I am back from hiatus. Sokka, more than anything, wants to be a warrior alongside his father. For Zuko, he doesn't think Sokka fully understands the gravity of what that would look like, especially after having experienced such a heavy loss as he had recently. (RIP king im sorry) but for Sokka, he see's a replacement. he doesnt know the nuances, not for lack of intelligence but he just literally hasnt been told and although he is owed explanation he isn't owed Zuko's story in its full, of what led Hakoda and Bato to the decision of keeping him on board. I firmly believe if Zuko had have been older, or had have been a child from any other nation, Hakoda and Bato would have not kept him. I actually go over this a lot in the early chapters where they're deciding wtf to do. It genuinely ended up being a problem of "well. No matter where we put him he's gonna get killed. How fucked up is that, safest place for this kid is LITERALLY on a warship of the enemy. great." I also think acknowledging the fact that Zuko HAS had a lot of support and comfort in the last three years whereas Sokka has not is a super important point to be made! Despite the current circumstances, and the ones that led Zuko to being in the position he is/was, Zuko did have support which Sokka lacked. TBH, if I hadve had more wiggle room and decided to fuck with canon more then I already had, I would have left a good amount of the warriors in the SWT, unlike in canon. Or had Hakoda go back to leave soldiers there when he realised they were going to be gone for longer then what I am assuming was initially planned. However I was more then aware that would SIGNIFICANTLY change the circumstances of Sokka's experiences and how it aligns with Zuko's, in canon and in the fic, so i chose against it. This is such a sporadic messy reply I am just so happy to get a comment picking up on all the stone I've been laying for a big discussion on the details of Sokka's own trauma and how its going to clash with Zuko's.
All this to say, Sokka will absolutely be getting his turn to hash out everything you've said here and I can promise you no stone will be left unturned when it comes to his trauma and life experiences!! I think a big thing I am most excited for is having the two hash it out and realise where their lives overlap, where their feelings and experiences align and managing to acknowledge that each others traumas dont cancel each other out. Zuko's experiences do not cancel out Sokka's, and Sokka's do not cancel out Zuko's.
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brewing-mischief · 10 months ago
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Imagine you finally meet up with the guy who stole both your wives from you
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And his first threat to you is "now it's your turn"
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Like Adam sure did hesitate with his attack for a hot minute there and can you blame him? Man was having his world wrecked before the fight even started.
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idolomantises · 2 years ago
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there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities
#txt#was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn#and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting?#i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings#im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to#overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do#its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice#the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you#still lack#even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is.#and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included)#i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at#such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them#i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own#personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes#people really do find things that they love within them.#anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art#sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on#and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me#but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back#and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit#that it’s all worth it. ya know?
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dykedvonte · 8 months ago
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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catboygirljoker · 2 months ago
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i think about xigbar too much and often find myself wondering how many of his lives he ended up in a serious relationship/marriage, whether out of genuine feelings on his end or convenience or "my vessel was close to them, it'd be too suspicious to cut it off" like on one hand he doesn't strike me as the most monogamous or traditional-relationship loving man and like he has no issue faking his death to get out of things. on the other, when you live for centuries, what's a few decades with someone you like? i am also looking at him with rose-tinted glasses because i am horngry for that old man
YEAH i get you.... like, xigbar seems like a dick who wouldn't be interested in that kind of close relationship with someone, but xigbar is luxu after centuries of life, and also not long after the events of Dark Road—i think it's perfectly reasonable to imagine that when we see him as xigbar, luxu is at the end of his downward arc as a character, and that earlier in life he might have been a nicer person who was more open to those kinds of relationships!
however i have also joked before that if luxu has always had trouble getting close to people, and if he determined early on that it's not worth the effort to try to stay "in character" as his vessel...that maybe xigbar has gotten divorced more times than he's gotten married
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goingbuggy · 10 months ago
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I think you have best theories in the fandom about shanks. It’s like you see more than most of us. So that’s why to just have simple yes or no answer would be enough. I have this level of trust in you.
Do you believe makinos child is shanks or someone’s else?
I just can’t stop thinking about this, because for me I don’t see it, but it’s so popular I feel stupid or blinded by my other ships.
thank you for your kind words!! you probably shouldn't place this must trust in me though, LOL. i'm just reading and overthinking everything in the source material, like everyone else is.
is it possible that shanks has a child with makino? well.. yeah. to put it bluntly, the simplest answer is usually the right answer with oda. he's already established that makino and shanks are friendly from chapter one, and shanks is even seen dressed up for a wedding on one cover page, which oda sometimes uses to tell canon events that don't fit the flow of the current arc. (think of enel's journey to the moon, for example).
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me personally, though? i've got beef with this idea, and not for the reasons you might think. makino and shanks as a couple is fine to me; i don't find their relationship all that compelling, truthfully, but they fit the mold for most of oda's canon pairings.
when it comes to shanks' characterization, though, the idea of him having a child at this point in the story strikes me as both offputting and irrelevant. shanks is an emperor, and given his actions, his current responsibilities are clearly the priority. so the thought of shanks leaving makino alone to take care of their child is... strange? his status has the potential to endanger them. he is surely too preoccupied to be sailing back and forth to see them.
you could argue that this parallels roger and rouge, but i also think that's the worst possible way oda could have shanks mirror his old captain. at least in roger's case, oda had ace become a relevant part of luffy's story. what narrative purpose does this serve? is it to humanize shanks? i'm not quite sure what oda's angle is, here.
we also have to consider shanks' past. shanks left uta behind, so i don't think he is "above" leaving his newborn child, so to speak, but his reasoning in that situation was far more complex. here, though? this would be shanks ACTIVELY choosing to bring a child into this world, knowing full well he cannot take care of it until he sees his goals through. (SHANKS? patient, protective shanks, unable to wait to start a family? the boy who was an abandoned child himself? does he not believe that he will live long enough to wait? if so, why would he leave makino with that responsibility at all? characters can make selfish decisions, but i can't see any reasoning from shanks' perspective. this is a problem to me.)
so, in short, no, i'm not exactly a fan of this theory. i just don't see the merit of adding it to the story, when the implications seem to contradict what we know about his character. and again, what is the narrative benefit that outweighs the faulty logic? what do we gain as readers? what does this do for the story? to me, it feels like nothing at all.
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hjemne · 1 year ago
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I've been... Absolutely normal? After this breakup with the person that I really genuinely wanted to spend my life with.
It happened Friday night, I cried most of the night and a little on Saturday but then something just shifted and I've been like 99% fine and normally and happy since then? The only time the sadness has really hit me since has been thinking about how upset my (dying) grandma will be that she won't be able to know my partner. But otherwise? I got horrendously drunk on Saturday night, had tons of fun and was fine with a guy low-key flirting with me. Since I got thru the handover and sleepiness on Sunday I've been utterly normal, getting on with work, reading romance and enjoying it rather than being sad or jealous etc. The main stressor has been the number of deadlines I've had this week and trying to manage my parents' reaction and reassure them I'm fine.
It's not that I'm complaining I've not been truly and utterly crushed by the heartbreak, but I'm just weirded out by this reaction. I'm worried I'm bottling it all up and it'll explode later or that this is me sliding back into depression, but I'm still enjoying things and it doesn't feel like depression? Like have I actually reached that level of emotional maturity that I've dealt with everything (or most things) already?
He decided about a week ago that he didn't want to go through his early twenties having to factor someone else into his life plans. I understand it, I respect his decision, acknowledge that there's no use in trying to talk him out of it, appreciate the fact he told me as soon as he could in person so we ended the relationship still loving each other rather than growing apart and resentment building. I really can't stress how I've never loved or been loved by anyone like with him before and that he has been the most important person in my life for four years. Accepting that the life we were planning together has gone has seemed to happen so easily and it feels like something must therefore be wrong. It's helped that we haven't seen each other in person and haven't currently got plans to I guess because I think it's going to really hit when I can't be physically affectionate like before. But even with the distance I still just can't understand why I'm feeling so nothing about this. He brought up that he might want to break up in March and I cried far more than this. Have I been emotionally checked out of the relationship since then without realising? Am I just bottling stuff up without realising? I just wish I knew
#im very used to being alone#even during the relationship we were long distance for most of it and i was living by myself or with emotionally distant family#and last month i moved in with 3 friends and with uni starting I'm able to socialise more even though i still prefer to be alone a lot#so maybe its the fact that i dont feel so isolated that's helping?#even when we lived together i only really had my now ex around to turn to for friendship#also with university im so so overworked but it gives me structure#so im with friends and have a purpose#which is maybe whats holding me together#i think i did process a lot of this after we nearly broke up in march#i said to him months ago that I ultimately want him to be happy and if he decides that its not with me then ill hate it but accept it#i am also on a lot of adderall lmao#switched prescriptions today#anyway even if im slightly scared everything is going to explode out of me one day#i am still proud with how im handling this#i could have been so vindictive during the break up but i knew thatd only hurt him and that i dont want him to be upset#so i wasnt#there were a couple of times i said stuff that i could have left unsaid like how i had our anniversary card already written and in our desk#and i think part of me did want him to hurt at that but mostly because i wanted him to see how much i was? still petty I know#but also i think I'm allowed a bit of pettiness when im being dumped pretty much out of nowhere#idk man#its not bad necessarily its just weird#we said we'd talk on the weekend so the first convo post break up wouldnt become a Thing of who would blink first or whatever#and i want him to know im alright but i don't want it to seem like im bragging or that it means the relationship meant nothing to me#like hey I've lost the most precious thing we had together and actually it seems im fine without it#i really really hope hes feeling a similar way#our friend and my housemate went to visit him yesterday so hopefully hes let him know im coping fine so he doesnt have to feel guilty#i dont want him to be alone in a new house full of strangers and heartbroken#ive been telling our mutual friends to look after him and saying they really really really shouldnt take sides or anything in this#and i dont like thinking of him being sad and knowing there's absolutely nothing i can do rn to help other than giving him space#rambles
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dropespeon · 1 year ago
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i truly think that if ginzou learned how to do magic it would do sooo much good for him
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