#the magic of being able to tell more of these identical men apart!!!

[jonesandashes]

rewatching The Terror and uncovering whole new layers of story to die inside about like "the tragic inevitable trajectories of that poor guy with a headache, that other poor guy with the cocaine, and that still other poor guy with the brother"

and "most of those random marines were actually just one (1) marine with a character arc"

and "edward little, eldest daughter, quietly spending every scene visibly stressed about his parents' unfolding divorce"

[computerpeople]

i wish i could figure out how to put how i feel about misogyny into words. i think a lot about it's role in my existence as a transman and i wish it was easier to talk about. i hate all the arguments about "all men includes trans men" or "but but but but transmen are except from hating men right?!" or whatever because thats never been an issue for me i guess. if someone hates all men im either included or unincluded depending on their definition, and im fine with that, i don't really care. as a transmasc, i am both able to perpetuate misogyny and also be a victim of it.

my issue is that everything i have ever done and will do will be wrapped in a blanket of misogyny. growing up i was a tomboy, and an ugly girl. i knew those things abouyt myself from the get go, probably because i was put into ballet at a very very young age (1-2 years old) and that taught me many things about myself, mosrly about how i don't fit in with other girls. i was assumed to be a lesbian by my parents, and confirmed this after i started dating my now ex boyfriend, who was also openly a lesbian at the time. and that followed me for years. no one around me cared that we were two transmascs, that we used boy names and he/him pronouns and were more openly transgender than anything else. we were the middleschools raging bulldyke couple. we were called carpet munchers and dykes and forced to sit apart from eachother in classes because us being next to eachother caused too much upheaval in OTHER students. he was able to transition easily, with social support, because he had money, he had loving parents, and most importantly: he was skinny and attractive. when people began to take his identity more seriously, they didn't spare me the same grace. i was still seen as an ugly, fat girl dating a guy out of my league, i had people tell me he only dated me because id accept his gender, that i was a fujo for wanting to date him, etc etc. all while i was also openly trans. i got misgendered, i was the ugly girl. he got to be a boy.

nothings changed. im 22 years old, im on testosterone, and i am still treated like an inconvenient, shitty, loud tomboyish ugly girl. i am constantly sexually harrassed by people who think it is attractive that i am openly an ugly girl. they ask me to have sex with them, to see if they "like men" but i know what they want. theyh want to bang me as a woman. they want to use me as a woman. they comment on me when i get on my knees, saying thats where i belong and where i should remember my place is. they slap me on the ass to get a feel and tell me its because thats what "boys" do to eachother. they call me ugly, they say every single unadulterated thing they ever want to say to a woman to me, because its cool right? im just one of the boys? so that gives them free reign to say all that shit to me? to cop a feel? bros just hug eachother all the time, i swear im not trying to feel where your nipples are in your binder. ignore me shifting you around, its unrelated. i am seen as stupid, i am seen as lesser, and i am seen as a sex toy. an ugly girl who thinks shes "strong" enough to handle the boys, andf theyll make sure i learn how stupid and ugly i am for thinking that. theyll make sure i get put back in my place.

i am not seen as a guy. i don't think that'll ever be my truth. i am seen as an ugly girl, and it will continue to follow me for the rest of my life. i wish that testosterone was not seen as this magic, amazing drug that makes everyone pass. i have been on it. ive grown my facial hair. ive deepened my voice. but i am seen as nothing but an ugly girl who forgot to shave. an ugly girl who needs to be reminded who i am.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

I’m a bisexual girl who has anxiety and also is easily affected by what other people think, and…. Really bad mix. I really love women and would love to date one someday, but all the stereotypes about bi people rip me apart. What if I’m just too weak for to be in a queer relationship and am just going to go back to men, or whatever? What if I’m just interested in women sexually, and I haven’t figured it out yet? What if I’m only romantically attracted to women and I haven’t figured it out yet? I’m terrified, that one day I’ll go into a relationship with a woman and because of my bi-ness, I’ll fail, and never be able to date a woman.

Being queer isn't something you can "fail". It's not an exam. You just are queer or you're not. Being queer is also not defined by suffering or being "strong enough" to endure the suffering. That's a very unhealthy way of looking at it. Nobody can be "too weak" to be queer because this isn't a strength contest. What you have is anxiety and that is also not a weakness but a mental disorder which is treatable, by the way. Treating your anxiety will very likely also help you relax about your queerness so if you're not in therapy yet I would recommend trying to get in touch with a queer-friendly (!!!) therapist.

As for not having figured out sexual and/or romantic attraction - so what? Queer people (especially people attracted to multiple genders) tend to over-analyse their attractions and compare it from one gender to another with the expectation that it must somehow be very clearly definable and feel the same for all genders to be a Real Bisexual (or whatever). But most people don't care or need to tell sexual and romantic attraction apart very clearly. Those things can overlap and for a lot of people there's no need to clearly separate it. Plus, even if it's two different things, it does not have to be identical for all genders in order to validate your bisexuality. Nobody expects straight people to be able to hand in a 30-page thesis about how exactly they experience sexual attraction versus romantic attraction and why they are 100% sure that they are definitely heterosexual - why should queer people have to do that?

Yeah, maybe you are "only" sexually attracted to women. What's so bad about that? Or "only" romantically... so be it. You don't have to 100% know any of that before entering a relationship. Maybe it is the making of experiences that will give you an answer and holding off on exploring your sexuality (and/or romantic desires) means that you cannot actually find that peace of mind. It's dangerously comfortable to get stuck in an endless thought cycle of "but what if...". Sometimes you just gotta break out from that by fucking around (figuratively OR literally) and finding out. Life means that you'll sometimes make mistakes but you'll learn more about yourself on the way. As long as you communicate to other people what your intentions are, that's all good. Just say "hey, this is all new to me, not really sure what I want but if you're cool with that I'd love to explore that with you". Some people might then decline the offer but others will be cool with it. Maybe don't expect yourself to be able to say "this is definitely sexual attraction that I am feeling right now, whereas early it was romantic attraction" - just settle on "I am attracted to this person for some reason, maybe I should get to know them better and see where this is going".

The "what will other people think" anxiety is something that, in my experience, is best countered by building up a circle of progressive, accepting friends who may or may not also be queer or at the very least queer-friendly. The more support you have around you, the less you will give a fuck about what strangers think. But these changes don't happen magically over night, you have to put the effort in, even if it's sometimes hard and scary. But it's for your own sake and mental health. You're worth the work that goes into self-acceptance.

Here's some advice on internalised biphobia that I recommend.

Maddie

[writingwithcolor]

Gingerbread man as golem

@yaronata asked:

I would like to write a character who is Jewish and uses a Golem. She's based on the D&D class of the artificer which looks magic but isn't, because they produce all their effects with inventions, like the "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" quote. Her story is that her very Jewish town was under attack from a terrible monster when she was little. Her Rabbis made a Golem to protect the town, and it succeeded but was torn to pieces in the process. She was fascinated by the Golem and as a kid didn't see a big difference between it's sentience and person's so was really thankful for its sacrifice like you would a person's sacrificing their life for you. They thought all the pieces had been devoured by the monster before it died, but she went looking and found the piece used to animate the Golem, which she, kinda misunderstanding called its "heart". She kept the piece and grew up to be an incredibly skilled cook, specialising as a baker in the town. I imagine she would make a lot of really good food for the Jewish holidays, or to break fasts on ones like Yom Kippur or Tish'abav. But she also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice and the town still being alive, because I feel "we are not dead woo" is a big theme for Jewish holidays from my research, so it could fit, for which she invented ginger bread men to be the golem, and gave them little "hearts" of fruit or honey, and you're meant to eat them limb by limb like the beast did before eating the heart. This would be the inspiration for using the "heart" piece later to make her own giant gingerbread Golem to help her save the world.

These are my questions 1) would it be considered bad or disrespectful for someone who isn't a Rabbi to make a Golem, or is this method of taking an animating piece someone else made disrespectful? 2) Her journey will take her far from her town and her Jewish family and friends and she will likely travel with gentiles. Would it be disrespectful for a Golem to be used to protect a lot of gentiles and one Jew in the course of saving the world? I don't want to fall into the stereotype of someone putting all their effort into valuing and protecting very specifically the group that in real life is oppressive to them. 3) While she is not using magic and is actually mimicking its effects with technology she invents, is this drawing too close to the line of "magical Jew"? 4) I like to "play test" my characters in ttrpgs to really get a feel for them before I write. Would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character when I am a gentile, and would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character in a setting where there are demonstrably real gods other than the one of Judaism?

I really like this character idea and I think it's cute and fun and rooted in Jewish culture but I really want to make sure it's respectful and as good as I, a gentile researching on the internet, thinks it is. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!

My answer to this is very complicated because there are things I both like and do not like about this premise. First of all, I love the idea of a cookie golem, and I'm even imagining the magic word that brings him to life (EMET/truth) would be written in icing. And I'm okay with the part about how she found a piece of the old golem and used it to build a new golem, because that makes sense for a golem made from a baked good when you think about how people use sourdough starter to make a new batch of sourdough.

However, here are the thing that make me cock my head to the side like my little sister's German shepherd:

1. re: "magical Jew" - that's not a trope I've ever heard of. Remember, marginalized groups don't receive identical disrespect across the board. It is indeed a trope to use Black people or disabled people as supernatural plot devices who exist only to further the stories of white main characters or able-bodied main characters. But I can't say as I've ever seen anyone using Jewishness that way. Usually if we are someone's one-dimensional plot device it's as someone's lawyer, fixer, "money guy", etc, not a supernatural force. So this isn't something you have to worry about.

2. I have a certain level of discomfort with you playing as a Jewish character just because playacting as a marginalized culture you're not part of strikes me as off, but I understand that that's how you gain insight into a character you're about to write so it's more of a writing exercise than anything else. (I wonder if D&D regulars from marginalized groups have written about this -- I've only played a few times casually with family so if I did run into this type of discussion in my social justice reading I wouldn't have absorbed it. If anyone is curious I played first as Captain Werewolf, and then switched to playing as Cinnamon Blade because lawful good was too hard. :P )

3. I would prefer you omit the detail about eating the cookies piece by piece symbolically, for two reasons: a. it unintentionally evokes Communion by having appreciative people consume a baked good symbolic of an entity who sacrificed his life for theirs, and b. focusing on the details of flesh consumption reminds me too much of Blood Libel (yes, a gingerbread man is in the shape of a person but how many of us actually think about it literally, the way this act would cause?)

As to your first question: I'm fine with her making a golem even though she's just a rando. Second question: I see what you're saying and maybe it could be more okay if it's really clear how well these gentile folks are treating her? And questions three and four are answered above.

I really do love the idea of a giant gingerbread man golem. Cookie golem T_T <3

--Shira

I would like to second Shira’s point about not ripping apart the gingerbread cookies. I honestly would prefer they were used as decoration, and other cookies eaten instead, since that part just feels so not-Jewish to me, but I don’t have golem-specific issues other than that. It seems like you have already been doing a lot of research, which is appreciated.

As far as the ttrpg/DnD aspect… I bounce back and forth on the topic of playing characters that are so very different from our experiences, other than in fantasy-related ways. However, I am aware that a lot of people will play with, and experiment with gender in game, and learn something about themselves in the process (the number of trans players of ttrpgs who tried out their gender in game before they were out is high). It’s different with Judaism, and even more significantly different when it comes to things you can’t convert into, like various actual, real-world races. But because people do sometimes experience growth from experiences like this, I’m hesitant to dissuade players completely. I do urge you to, at a minimum, bring the same care, research, and willingness to learn, that you brought to this question.

--Dierdra

This sounds like a creative storyline that you could have lots of fun with 😊

At first I was confused by this part:

She also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice

But then you really got me thinking about different types of Jewish holidays and how they come about, so thank you for that!

Because it’s often the little details that either make a story super powerful or kind of nonsensical, I think it would be a good idea to decide what type of holiday is being created here:

A full-blown chag with restrictions on labour and halachic obligations? These are commanded in Torah and new ones can’t be added.

A minor yom tov with halachic obligations but no restrictions? These were instituted by the rabbis prior to the destruction of the Temple, so again new ones can’t be added.

A public holiday or equivalent? This would usually be declared by the Knesset in Israel, and filter to the rest of the Jewish world from there.

A community-based yom tov with specific customs only for people in the know, such as certain Chasidic groups celebrating the birthdays of their deceased leaders? I asked around, but no one can really tell me how these holidays get started, which is probably a good indication that they arise quite organically from a group of people who all just feel that it should be celebrated. Probably not created by a single person, as such.

Something she runs from her bakery, not religion-based, but more like a day of doing special products and deals the way many small businesses do on their anniversary?

Now, if the people of a modern-day town were actually saved by a real live Golem, that would arguably be the most overt miracle for many generations, so there would be a decent chance of options 3 and/or 4 happening. It’s entirely plausible that there could be special foods for this day that become a tradition, including Golem cookies. People who directly benefited might also return to the site where the Golem fought the monster and recite the prayer, ‘Blessed is Hashem, Master of the Universe, Who performed a miracle for me in this place.’

Alternatively, if it’s important that your MC created the holiday, something like option 5 might be the best. Hopefully this will still fulfil what you need: you describe her as incredibly skilled, so I can imagine the day when she goes all out on the Golem cookies being one of the most exciting events of the year for the townspeople, just because her baking is that good. Plus, they already have a personal stake in the Golem’s sacrifice, so I definitely think it could be a thing without being an official holiday. Also, if she is outside of an all-Jewish environment, don’t forget that she would have to decide whether to commemorate the anniversary in the Hebrew calendar or the local one.

Coming back to the cookies, sorry if we’re getting a little repetitive on this point! But I don’t see the cookies being torn limb from limb as part of a celebration. First of all, this doesn’t sound like a very celebratory thing to do, to say the least. Can you imagine explaining that to a three-year-old on their first Yom HaGolem? They would be terrified! (I don’t read this suggestion as accidental anti-Semitism so much as getting carried away with a metaphor, which I’m sure as writers we have all done!)

But also, it’s worth pointing out that our commemorative foods aren’t usually that literal. If you think about hamantaschen, maror, or apple in honey, they’re all symbols. That’s not to say that having Golem-shaped cookies is a problem, as this sounds like just a bit of fun that the MC is having and not something that is directly at odds with Judaism or Jewish culture. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the more literal you go from there in terms of tying the cookies to the event they commemorate, the less culturally aligned your holiday food becomes.

Finally, about the Golem protecting non-Jewish people: I like this idea! There’s a stereotype that we only use whatever is at our disposal to help ourselves and other Jewish people, so a Golem being created by Jews but helping others as well is a big plus for me. Of course, as has already been pointed out, this would be an odd choice if her Saving The World team were anti-Semitic or otherwise disrespectful to her/her community, but I don’t think you were headed that way!

-Shoshi

I have to come back in here just to squee over the phrase “Yom HaGolem.” Well done :D

--Shira

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 4

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

part 3: “Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

* 

“But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self

Before I get into seasons six and seven, it’s worth asking: why would the show do all of this? Why would it spend all of this time developing a supporting villain and joke id character? Why would it give him a romantic arc? I see people say that the writers only gave Spike these storylines because he was popular or they wanted to keep him around, but even that being the case, there was no need to give him the specific arc that they did. It’s more than possible to read meaning into the story that they chose from the array of possible options. 

Here is the thing about the id. It’s not actually something separate from you. It’s not a ravenous monster you can blame your weaknesses on while remaining pure and dignified. The id is part of you. The immediate and enduring appeal of Spike is, I suspect, strongly influenced by the fact that the things the id wants are so very human and sympathetic. His foibles and mistakes are often painfully familiar, even exaggerated through vampirism as they are. In fact, it’s precisely because Spike is allowed to show a full range of reactions to love, because the writing is under less pressure for him to do the “right” or dignified thing, that he can at times be compelling in ways other characters can’t. If Spike just did nasty things, his appeal wouldn’t be much more complicated than the appeal of Angelus, who people tend to like as a villain or storyline rather than as a relatable character. But Spike doesn’t want to dismember nuns or construct elaborate murder tableaux. He wants familiar things like love, identity and meaning, even if the ways he goes about getting them can reflect people’s worst impulses. 

Which brings us to Buffy, and Buffy’s story about growing up. Buffy is Buffy’s show, which means that every writing choice tends to revolve around her arc in one way or another. And this goes for Spike’s storyline even more than most. In the final three seasons of the show, the writing finally engages with how inextricable the id--and all of its impulsive, inarticulate romantic desires--really is from a person’s self. So instead of keeping Spike at a comfortable distance, both Buffy and the writing begin to take him seriously. They begin to invite him in.

Starting in season five, it’s telling how frequently Buffy herself projects on Spike, rather than just the writing setting them up as mirrors. She tells him that he’s the “only one strong enough” to protect her family, and later assigns Dawn specifically to his protection. In “Spiral” she describes him as “the only one besides me that has any chance of protecting Dawn.” This is a very intimate role that she otherwise only assigns to herself (and which is not really based on pure practicality, considering that she’ll later describe Willow as her “big gun”--yet never gives Willow the task of protecting Dawn). She tells him that he cannot love, which is the thing she fears most about herself. Her protests that Spike is a vampire, and thus cannot express or want human things like love, mirror her lamentations that as the Slayer, she cannot have a normal life.

From the Gilliland Gothic double essay:

More than any of her other lovers, Buffy and Spike overlap one another so often that at times their character arcs become nearly indistinguishable. With Angel, Buffy traveled a parallel path in attempting to master self-control. With Riley, her journey ultimately took her in the opposite direction. With Spike, Buffy’s journey is most closely shadowed, in that her interactions with him in many ways can be seen as metaphors for her feelings about herself.

So now Spike is multiple things. On the one hand, he’s the soulless id he’s been since season two. His vampiric behavior represents a morally uninhibited way of reacting to romantic frustrations, among other things. But on the other hand, his vampirism now also marks him as like Buffy, not merely her opposite.* Nor is he only her mirror in the realm of romantic love. The part of him that is a vampire is the part of him that is supernatural (ie, Romantically larger-than-life), that sets him apart from regular people, and dictates how he can and cannot behave. Just like Buffy’s slayerness. His vampirism is what makes him capable of protecting Dawn, while also making him (supposedly, according to Buffy) incapable of human feeling--again, just like Buffy’s slayerness. Instead of Buffy’s Slayer side being aligned with Angelus, who was an unmitigated evil, it becomes aligned with Spike, who is something more complicated. 

*(Though it must be noted that this was a process that began in season four, with the show aligning Spike with the Scoobies by making him a victim of the Initiative. Spike being supernatural suddenly marks him as non-normative, just like the Scoobies, in contrast to the institutional conformity that the Initiative represents. The evolution towards treating the Romantic supernatural as something positive and associated with identity plays a key role in transitioning the show to the more complicated attitudes of the last three seasons.)

This shift in the show’s attitudes towards the id affects how Spike is used. In “Blood Ties” for example, Spike assists Dawn in breaking into the Magic Shop and in “Forever” he helps Dawn resurrect her and Buffy’s mother. In both cases, Spike could be read as embodying impulsive behavior that Buffy is supposed to be better than. Yet both cases specifically involve Spike helping Dawn, who is repeatedly portrayed as Buffy’s human side. As Buffy says in “The Gift”: “[Dawn]’s more than [my sister]. She’s me. The monks made her out of me. [...] Dawn is a part of me. The only part that I--”. In other words, Buffy’s id becomes closely tied to her humanity, even going so far as to become its safeguard. “Blood Ties” ends with Buffy affirming her connection to Dawn, which Spike’s rule-breaking directly enabled, and “Forever” ends with Buffy acknowledging how desperately she wants her mother back too, and becoming closer to Dawn as a result. (Compare to “Lovers Walk”, where Buffy acknowledging her id results in her breaking away from Angel, not drawing closer to anyone). Or in “Intervention”, Spike building the Buffybot directly parallels Buffy’s own anxieties about what she thinks she should be. She thinks she’s losing her ability to love, and that effusive fakery is her only recourse (as she said in “I Was Made to Love You”: “Maybe I could change. [...] I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes. I mean men like that right? The joke laughing at?”), a fear that even has some merit, given that her friends cannot tell her and the bot apart. Instead of Buffy and Spike having separate arcs in the episode, Spike learning the difference between real and fake dovetails with Buffy’s own relationship to her realness and fakeness. It turns out that neither of them want a bot version of Buffy. They want real emotion, things like sacrifice and heartfelt gratitude. If even Buffy’s id would let itself be killed for Dawn, then maybe she has nothing to fear from herself. Maybe there is some beauty in the emotional part of her nature that she thinks she must repress.

In other words, part of the writing (and Buffy) fully engaging with romanticism and the id, means engaging with the ways they can be bad and good. There’s this weird thing that happens with Spike as soon as he falls in love with Buffy, where suddenly his actions are more uncomfortable, and to many, off-putting, because their object is Buffy (instead of another vampire like Harmony or Drusilla, who either enjoy the same vampiric things he does, or the audience might be inclined to see as a moral nonentity regardless). His comic id quality becomes somewhat darker and more serious, almost like the way Angel’s early season two darkness becomes more serious after he loses his soul. But at the same time, Spike’s actions are also more intriguing, sympathetic, and even noble...because their object is Buffy. It makes no sense that a soulless vampire should not only fall in love with the Slayer, but genuinely attempt to transform himself into someone worthy of her love. And yet that’s exactly what Buffy inspires him to do. By loving Buffy Spike’s dual nature, and the dual nature of his romanticism, is thrown into relief: it’s something that can be selfish and creepy, yes, but also something that hints at the idea that real romanticism does exist. Something worth feeling romantically about does exist. Thus the writing can at once criticize, say, the way the chivalric mindset conflates love and suffering, while also suggesting that there are kinds of love it’s worth being transformed by. (Meanwhile, Spike’s fumbling bewilderment over how to love Buffy, and what the rules of loving people correctly even are, creates a human middle ground between monstrousness and heroism). By leaning into the way that Buffy and Spike have been used as mirrors for three seasons, and introducing the mythology-bending idea of Spike being in love with Buffy, the writing is able to fully engage with this complicated, contradictory nature of love and romance.

All of which is to say. Spike becomes a potential love interest, and is given a convoluted inner conflict between monstrousness, humanity and heroism, in precisely the season in which Buffy begins to reckon with her own inner conflict between her darker impulses, her human reality, and her supernatural role. It’s no coincidence that season five opens with Dracula, an icon of romantic vampire mythology, tempting Buffy with darkness and promising her insight into her nature. Or that a vampire kidnaps Dawn--again, her human half--in the next episode. Or that the season’s antagonist is a super-strong blonde woman who wants to destroy Dawn instead of protect her. Or that she says goodbye to Riley, the boyfriend who embodied her hopes for a more normative way of being (notice how Riley is progressively destabilized by everything non-normative about Buffy’s life, and provokes those anxieties Buffy expresses in “I Was Made to Love You”). Over and over in season five, Buffy fears that her Slayer half is cold, destructive, and otherwise dangerous. That these Romantic things like gods and vampires have it in for Buffy’s vulnerable humanity. Yet Buffy’s vampire id simultaneously gives lie to these fears by proving itself capable of heroism and genuine human feeling.

In other words, Spike becomes a potential love interest in a season that treats the Romantic--ie the grand and mythical--as something more than just an attractive lie to be disabused of. Rather, the question that season five seems to posit to me, and which will not be fully answered until the end of season seven, is this: once you do clear away the attractive lies, once you accept the hard realities, once you’ve seen the darkest underbellies, what are the things that are left that are truly grand and beautiful? What are the stories that are really worth telling, and the heroes that are really worth having?

And the show asks and answers these questions on both a very personal level, and a more meta, systemic level. On the personal level, Buffy and Spike are forced to confront their illusions not just about the world, but about themselves. They are made to ask themselves what constitutes a heroic role or a demonic weakness, versus basic, unromantic humanity. And on the meta level, the show asks questions about our expectations for how both love stories and chosen hero stories are supposed to go.

part 5: “Everything used to be so clear”: Season six and the agony of the real

[guesst]

some of the best fantasy au fics for bnha that i've read

i decided to make a fic rec list of one of my favourite aus/fusions. mostly midoriya-centric, there are some crossovers (with hp), and a lot of different ways in which the authors have taken them - so it could be Quirks, ghosts, outright fantasy aus, spirits, witches etc etc. there isn't a specific order and there aren't a tonne (these are the ones i could find buried in my bookmarks lol), but the ones on the list are all really well written i love them.

i've tried adding relevant information, the summary (shortened if it's pretty long) and just. adding some random tags that may be important. not all of them though. obviously this is not a complete list and there will most definitely be more fics out there, if there are some really good fics that you know that aren't on this list, feel free to tell me, i'd love to read them!!!

i hope someone enjoys these!

Faith Becomes You by SugaSuga

oneshot | gen dfo, quirkless midoriya summary 'There's a tiny shrine in Musutafu that's overgrown with kudzu vines between Izuku's apartment and his middle-school. There may very well still be a god inside it. There may be nothing but the myth of a man from when Quirks were first emerging. Izuku hides in its walls for a while and ends up tending to the forgotten shrine. All good deeds have their impact, don't they?'

Of Mythos and Men by Oceanbreeze7

oneshot | gen spirit animal au, kinda summary (shortened) 'When he was young, Midoriya always wondered what his mythos would be. The matching half to his quirk, the ancestry of its power. Mythos were strange things, not linked genetically like quirks seemed to be. [...] Midoriya hadn't met his mythos. Even in UA. (In his dreams, something called to him, 'Chase me!')'

what a lion cannot manage by LadyLiterature

multichapter | ongoing | f/m, m/m kitsune au, female izuku, future bakudeku summary (shortened) 'She wants to be a hero. Wants to save everyone she meets and even the people she hasn’t. [...] A smart fox avoids fights. A smart fox does not seek them out. A smart fox does not fight for everyone. A smart fox, when they absolutely must, only fights for themselves and what is theirs and nothing else. Izumi, for all that she tries to be, is not a good fox.'

My Magic Academia by Kiterou

series | oneshots and multichapter | ongoing | gen HP crossover, wizard midoriya, platonic bkdk, some ocs summary (shortened) ' [...] In which Midoriya Inko is a witch and Izuku a wizard and even after 150 years of quirks taking over the world, Izuku still couldn't tell Kacchan that he isn't worthless and that he still could become a hero all on his own.'

A Lonely Windchime Makes No Sound by Musecookie

multichapter | ongoing | multi reader/shinso, total fantasy au, very wholesome summary (shortened) ' [...] You enjoy visiting your slightly creepy local library. When you accidentally befriend the elusive owner's familiar, he begins to appear more and more when you visit. You don't really mind, and he doesn't seem to hate you, even when the two of you become tied up in each other's fate as you pursue the secret to reviving a magical species of flower. Soft Strangers to Friends to Lovers type beat with lots of fluff and naps! Sleepy cuddles included.'

The grapes of friendship by Gentrychild

oneshot | gen crack, dfo, vampire izuku summary 'Izuku, a dhampir hiding his real identity as he goes to UA, the best wizard school in the country, spends the day with his friends. None of them are aware of it.'

Yesterday Upon the Stair by PitViperofDoom

multichapter | complete | gen less supernatural, izu's quirk lets him see ghosts, he still has ofa summary (shortened) 'Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it. But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless [...] Not that anyone would believe it if he told them.'

sum of all (and by them driven) by Elemental

series | multichapter | ongoing | gen dadzawa, spirits give quirks, izu sees these spirits series summary 'Quirks aren't what you think they are.' first part summary (shortened) 'Midoriya Izuku is medically quirkless, not technically homeless, perpetually exhausted and doing his damned best despite it all. He also sees spirits, which might be cool if not for the fact that a) no one else does, b) they really don't like him very much, and c) he's pretty sure the heroes now think he's a villain working for the League [...]'

The Struggles of a Modern-Day Vampire by miraculousemily47

oneshot | gen crack, 1-a shenanigans, vampire midoriya summary 'After Midoriya Izuku is turned into a vampire towards the end of his first year at U.A., he decides he wants to tell his classmates about his condition. The only problem is that he can't physically say the words, and his classmates are fucking idiots.'

Lights in the Dark by FrostKitten

series | oneshots | ongoing | gen supernatural au, izuku can see demons etc, quirkless/magic au summary (of first part) 'Midoriya Izuku, like most young kids, knows there are monsters. They live in closets, under beds, and occasionally in the park. As he grows older, his friends stop seeing them...but he still does.'

Hand in Unlovable Hand by jumbletea

series | oneshots | ongoing | gen vampire midoriya (and aizawa), dadzawa, toga n dabi n mido being siblings summary 'A collection of stories surrounding a not-quite-human Izuku and everyone he meets along the way.'

Simply Superstitious by CryCaladrius

multichapter | ongoing | gen lots of folklore and yokai and stuff, 'quirkless' magic user izuku, decent dad hisashi too summary (shortened) 'Izuku Midoriya’s father is a Hou-ou — a Japanese phoenix. For some reason, this means yokai have a standing invitation to pester Izuku with their existence. Birds assemble choirs for his birthday. If there’s no cedar leaf under the welcome mat, the amazake babaa that lives two apartments over will be knocking on their door by evening. His yokai-purifying excursions get mistaken for vigilantism far too often. [...]'

Cuckoo Bird (anonymous author)

multichapter | ongoing/maybe discontinued | gen it may be discontinued but theres lots of fae folklore, deku is a changeling, deals etc, plus some platonic shindeku building up?? summary 'There's something off about Midoriya Izuku. (change·ling /ˈCHānjliNG/ noun a child believed to have been secretly substituted by fairies for the parents' real child in infancy.)'

tread softly as you go by IceEckos12

oneshot | gen if you read any fae au please let it be this! has faeries but mido is not one summary 'Humans used to be good at the old ways. They used to know how to bait the trap, to spin a web of words and lies that would ensnare even the most wily. Humans used to be able to twist deceptions around knots of iron and turn them into weapons of power. They forgot a long, long time ago. A boy unwittingly makes a deal with one of the fae, severing his ties to humanity. However, he finds that the fae world is far more strange and complex than he ever could have imagined.'

Hell is just a shoujo manga by supercrunch

multichapter | complete | f/m fantasy au, bakudeku, fem!izuku, isekai, dekusquad stuff, also some iidachako summary (shortened) 'Izuku wakes up crushed under a statue, trapped in the body of a princess who doesn't exist. Turns out she's a demon, which is weird. What's even weirder is the déjà vu that surrounds Kamino palace, reminding her of the events of this one manga she used to love. [...] But that's probably just a coincidence. [...] The problem here, obviously, is that Izuku's the demon princess. Ergo, she's a villain. And that means she's going to die at the end of this manga. Again.'

hold your breath as you cross by cassiopeia721

oneshot | gen dadzawa, another 'quirks are from spirits au' (expect more of those actually), mido is sad :( summary 'As the bridge between the world of guardian spirits and the quirk users who are blessed by them, Izuku's duty is to clean up the mess his predecessor left. It's taken what feels like an eternity worth of work, but Izuku's finally finished, and he's ready to rest at last. Unfortunately, the pro heroes who just watched him take down the Scourge of Kamino have no intention of letting him just wander off, and he finds himself stuck in an interrogation room with a bunch of humans who he's sure will never believe a word he says.'

To See with Eyes Unclouded by CrazySatan

series | oneshots | ongoing | gen witch au, witch midoriya, quirkless mido, bkg is not a good friend series summary 'Midoriya Izuku is a witch. A powerful witch. And even though he doesn't have a quirk, and magic doesn't Work Like That, Izuku ends up a hero. Somehow.'

Demons and Darkness by wolfsrainrules

series | oneshots | ongoing | gen dadzawa, shinso and mido and bkg are becoming friends, they can see monsters/spirits/bad things summary of first part 'Izuku has believed in the things that go bump in the night since he was small. That means he can see them, and almost everyone he knows....can't. So he decides he's going to be the shield humanity needs, no matter what. Eventually, he finds others that See too.'

know what i've made by the marks on my hands by simkjrs

multichapter | ongoing/maybe discontinued | gen dadzawa, quirk spirit au (this inspired most of the others on this list), also eri summary (shortened) 'Midoriya Izuku just wants to lead a quiet, peaceful life. This is foiled by the fact that a) he can see spirits, b) his good nature demands that he help anyone he sees in trouble, and c) he, by all rights, should not exist. [...]'

Izuku haunts class 1-A by Artistic-Gamer

series or multichapter whichever floats your boat | incomplete (hiatus) | other there are some triggering themes! such as suicide, blood, body disfigurement! please take care of yourself and avoid reading if this will hurt you! in other news: so much dadzawa, so much friendship, hurt mido summary (of first part) 'Class 1-A is rumored to be haunted, only the residents are aware it’s more than just a rumor..'

U.A's Resident Ghost by BeyondTheClouds777

multichapter | ongoing/maybe discontinued | gen ghost midoriya, dadzawa, friendships!!!! summary 'There is a ghost at U.A. Not haunting U.A. Not even hanging out at U.A. There is a ghost. Enrolled. As a student of U.A. And it's just Shouta's luck that he has everything to do with it.'

and now, the weather by xylophones

oneshot | gen CRACK, paranormal/ghost hunters au, dekusquad stuff summary 'Izuku runs a fictional horror radio show. Because ghosts aren’t real. Right? (“Holy shit, ghosts are real,” Izuku whispers. Then, with the smugness of a sixteen-year-old who just won a decade long bet, “I knew it! Kacchan owes me five hundred yen!” “Midoriya,” Todoroki sighs, “this ghost is trying to kill us.”)'

U.A Unsolved by handcrusher(ameliafromafairytale)

oneshot | gen (it's a fic of a fic, so if you've read yesterday upon the stair then you'll understand better) izuku can see ghosts thats his quirk summary ' "Hey there, ghosts," Midoriya says, "it's me, ya boy." The dorms are haunted. Shenanigans ensue.'

The Haunting of Class 1-A by BritishRobutt

multichapter | ongoing/maybe discontinued | n/a ghost midoriya, vigilante au, crack, the ghost bit is izu's quirk summary 'Everyone always told Izuku he couldn't be a hero, so when he dies and discovers his quirk, he becomes a vigilante out of spite. Whoops. After becoming Spectre, Japan's most wanted vigilante, Izuku realizes he can just fulfill his dreams of going to the top heroic school- after all, who can physically stop him from attending UA when he's a literal ghost?'

Caged by SternStunde

oneshot | gen tododeku, fantasy au (todo is a dragon, mido is a princess), genderbent deku (fem deku) summary 'Then she held up one of the books and smiled. "Want to learn an ancient language with me?" She was kind of a nerd, and she really hoped the dragon was too.'

Magic Runs Deep by draconicschinx

multichapter | ongoing/probably discontinued | gen mido has a quirk and he can see mythical creatures. summary '"Midoriya Izuku has always been good at making friends. Not human ones, really, but they are good friends nonetheless. " Izuku can see and talk to and interact with mythical creatures. It's not exactly the quirk he was hoping for, but he's going to use it to help humans and his non-human friends all the same.'

[a-edgar-allan-hoe]

The Last Chthonian

Bucky x Reader, Sam x Reader, Zemo x Reader

Part 12

A/N: Here is Chapter 12 lovelies! Let me know if you would like to get added to the tag list! 🖤🔮🖤

Summary: Imagine being Hekate, the Greek goddess of magic and witchcraft, the night and the moon, doorways and crossroads, creatures of the night, and ghosts and necromancy. You stumbled upon Earth many centuries ago and since then have resided on the foreign planet. During the recent years you created an alias for yourself to hide your true identity, and after the war against Thanos you chose to live out your days in the Scottish countryside, until a certain trio appear at your doorstep one day.

Warnings: language, scars

“Logan?” You stared at him wide eyed and as he turned around to face you, you rushed in for a hug like a child, wrapping your arms around his frame as he returned the gesture, rubbing your back.

It had been so long since you had seen him. Logan had always been like a father figure to you, the father you never had, even though you surpassed him by thousands of years. He always had a paternal aura about him despite his rough appearance, and he was the one person you always turned to and shared all your secrets with. You had first met him back in 1861 during the Civil War when you disguised yourself as a young man so that you could join the Union. But he had seen right through your act when you refused to change or use the restroom in front of the men, always coming up with excuses that all the soldiers fell for, well except for him. You two still liked to laugh about the story till this day. And since the day you first met him, you two had formed an inseparable bond.

“Good to see you too kid.” Logan chuckled at your reaction to seeing him.

You pulled back from the hug, looking up at him with a scowl on your face before punching him in the arm.

“Ow. The hell was that for?”

“What the hell are you doing here? And why did you have to man handle me like that? You made me drop my phone.” You snapped at him, going over to pick your phone off the floor, glancing around to make sure no one was near before going back into the hallway.

“I’m here on business. Got some punk who’s ass I gotta catch.” Logan answered your question. “And if you ask me, you seemed to be the one doing most of the man handling.”

“Only because you had to grab me like some kind of creep.” You remarked. “So what, you’re following me now?”

“Like I said, I’m huntin down this criminal, or a couple criminals you could say. Just like you got your ring of demons huntin down human traffickers and the worst of mankind, I got my work too. So, what do I see when I’m about to slice up some punk? I see your ass here, running down the middle of the streets in a stupid dress and getting shot at by bounty hunters and criminals. The hell are you doing in a place like this? It’s dangerous.” Logan lectured you before pulling out his cigar.

“No shit Sherlock. I know it’s dangerous.”

“Hey, watch your attitude.”

“Says the one who taught me that attitude in the first place.” You put your arms across your chest in a defensive stance as you argued with him. “And you’re not the only one here on a mission, alright? I’m helping out a friend.”

“Yeah? Your friend drag you into this?”

“No, I came here on my choice.”

“I thought you were laying low but fair enough.” He nodded as he lit up his cigar. “How’s Athena?”

“Oh she’s doing great. She does miss you though, won’t stop talking about how she wants to see gramps.”

“Heh, she’s a good kid, you raised her well.”

“I did the best I could as a mother.” You sighed before punching him the arm again, this time lighter. “I’m starving and you delayed me from getting my pizza by the way, you remember that and you remember it well. Let the guilt haunt you for the remainder of your days.”

“Yeah yeah, I didn’t know you were on one of those psycho food missions. C’mon, I know a spot.” Logan ruffled your hair as you followed him out of the building, walking down the night lit street as you two caught up on recent events. You noticed that you had become more comfortable with the scar on your face. You stopped turning your face away in conversations and now even looked the person you were speaking with in the eye, allowing them to get a full view. And though you still received many looks, it didn’t bother you as much as it used too and you were now less ashamed of it. After putting in effort to hide your scars for so long because you couldn’t stand the sight of them, here you were putting them on display. After all, scars told stories. But part of you wondered if it had anything to do with what Zemo had told you. The way he looked right at you when he suggested you keep them visible because he thought it suited you.

“How’s everyone at the school?” You asked Logan.

“They miss you, the students as well, especially Rogue. They’ve been begging Charles to try to convince you to come back and teach Mythology and Classic Literature again.”

“I do miss the place.” You sighed as you walked the streets with your hands in the pockets of your jacket. “But I need some time. I promise I’ll be back soon though.”

“Hey, take your time. Just don’t take a hundred years.” Logan teased.

“I won’t.”

“Hey, this is the pizza place I was talking about.” Logan patted your back before gesturing to the little pizza shop. It was a little mom-and-pop place but the aroma that came through the doors made you salivate and your stomach let out a loud growl that sounded like a monster was trapped in there.

“Finally. I’m starving.” You groaned as you went up to the counter and ordered three boxes of pizzas.

“Geez, you gonna eat all that?” Logan looked at you after the wait as you went up to the counter to pick up your three boxes of cheese pizzas.

“Nah. One of them is for me. The rest is for you and the guys.”

“What guys? The ones who were running behind you when you were getting shot at?”

“Ya.”

“You need help with those?”

“Nah I got it.” You shook your head as you stepped out of the shop, you couldn’t wait to go back to the gallery and scarf down the whole pizza by yourself. You were hoping tonight you would pass out from a food coma so you could get a decent night’s sleep.

“Y/n?” You saw Sam step out of the entrance of the building once he saw you approach. “Where have you been? You said you were making a call. And what are you doing with those pizzas?”

“Yeah well I got hungry.”

“Who’s this?” Sam asked you as he eyed Logan.

“A friend.”

“What kind of friend?”

“A good friend Sam.” You replied as you walked back in to the building, the loud music and flashing lights filling your senses annoyingly once more.

Sam carefully watched the mysterious new man you had just brought in, following behind you as you went over to where Bucky was standing by the bar, dropping the pizzas down on the counter. “Pizza time!”

“What’s this?” Bucky looked at you, questioning why you had just brought in three full boxes of pizzas.

“This is Pizza. Don’t tell me you’ve never had pizza Barnes.” You remarked as you opened up the box you brought for yourself, pulling it up in front of you as you sat down on the barstool.

“I’ve had pizza before. I’m not that uncultured.” Bucky sighed at your statement. Why did everyone assume he didn’t have a clue about most things in the world.

“I’m kidding Bucky. You’re the one who asked the question ‘what’s this?’. Those two boxes are for you guys by the way.” You nodded as you took a large bite of the warm cheesy pizza, your mouth watering from finally having what you craved and not being able to resist the satisfied moan that came out of your mouth. “Wow. You were right Logan. This shit is good.”

“Told you so.” Logan smirked as he took a slice for himself, Sam and Bucky watching with caution at who this burly man with the leather jacket was that set his cigar down on the ashtray. “Hey slow down kid, keep eating that fast and you’ll choke.”

“Fucks sake Logan. Let me enjoy my food.”

“Yeah well don’t scarf it down. And watch your mouth.”

“You watch yours old man.” You laughed.

“Old? Look who’s talking artifact.”

Sam and Bucky stood in silence as they watched the two of you bickering amongst each other. Who was this and how were you so comfortable around him? They had never seen you this much at ease and it was as if you two were close for a very long time.

Logan caught them staring at him, glowering as he got up from his seat. “Got a problem bub?”

“Who the hell are you supposed to be?” Bucky questioned as took a step towards him, he didn’t like the aura this man had about him. He looked like an asshole.

“Why do you need to know?” Logan stared him down with a scowl as he stood inches apart from him.

You watched the confrontation between Bucky and Logan and nearly choked on your pizza as you saw Logan’s admantium claws come out of his knuckles, forcing you to jump between them. Bucky and Sam noticed this and raised their brows in surprise at him. They were trying to figure out what the hell it was that just came out of his knuckles.

“Woah woah woah! Enough of the testosterone. This is just Logan you two, I’ve known him for a really long time and he’s like a father to me so you can quit the glaring. Bucky, I said quit staring. Logan, this is Sam and Bucky.”

“Hang on.” Sam realized once he recognized Logan. “You’re that one guy, Wolverine right? From the X-Men?”

“Yeah.” Logan grumbled as he sat back down to finish his slice, not wanting to converse any more though you were always an exception for him.

“Hey where’s Zemo by the way?” You brought up as you noticed he wasn’t there and you couldn’t find sight of him.

“He’s dancing.” Bucky answered your question with a look that meant unbelievable as he nodded towards the dance floor.

And as you looked, there you saw none other than Zemo himself, in the middle of the dance floor, paying no mind to others and grooving along to the bass music with movements of his hands.

“No fucking way.” You gaped with your mouth open, your pizza slice hovering inches from your lips since you were too engrossed in the scene before you. Since when did he dance? You couldn’t believe your eyes at what you saw, here was this criminal, in the middle of the dance floor pumping his fists to the beat.

“I know right.” Sam scoffed as he watched with you. “I had to look twice to make sure of what I was seeing.”

“Did he? Did he just do a finger twirl?” You squinted your eyes and scrunched your nose in disbelief.

“Yup. Yes he did.” Sam confirmed.

“Wow.” You shook your head. “Unbelievable. I could never do that.”

“I thought you were a ballerina.” Bucky asked.

“I was. But that’s different. Anyways, I’m going to retire for the night. I think I’ve seen enough.” You got up from your seat, crushing up your empty pizza box and tossing it away. You bid the men goodnight and told them to leave a few slices for Zemo if he wanted any, adding how you didn’t care if he wanted them or not, it didn’t matter to you. You bid Logan a teary farewell and hugged him, he had to head back to his place and had some matters to attend to. You were heartbroken to see him leave so soon but hoped to see him again.

After conversing a little with Sharon, you went upstairs to one of the rooms she had reserved for the four of you. It was a comfortably spacious bedroom with a modern touch, matching Sharon’s personality perfectly. You closed the door behind you and took out your bag, setting it on the table that was in the corner as you slipped out of your current clothes and into your silk nightgown. After you were done cleaning up in the bathroom, you sat down on the bed under the covers and pulled out your phone, dialing Maze’s number.

“Hey Hekate. What’s up?” You heard her voice on the other line.

“Hey Maze. How’s everything going?”

“Everything is great. Nothing bad happened today and Athena and I did finger paintings. It was so much fun.”

“That’s great! I’m happy you guys are spending quality time together.”

“Yeah, I’m happy too. How are you doing? You sound exhausted.”

“Yeah, I’m ready to knock out.” You chuckled. “Everything is running smoothly so far though.” You thought about telling her the incident involving your powers from earlier but decided against it. You didn’t need her to start worrying about you. “Hey is Athena awake?”

“I was just about done getting her ready for bed. I’ll hand her the phone.” You heard Maze say before there was the sound of rustling.

“Hi Mommy!” You heard your daughter’s voice.

“Hi sweetie! How are you?” You smiled upon hearing her voice, which was something that had always lifted your spirits.

“I’m fine mommy! Maze and I did paintings today!”

“I heard! That’s wonderful! You’ll have to show them to me when I come back. I just wanted to talk to you and make sure you were okay. I’ll let you go to sleep now. Goodnight koukouvágia, I love you.”

“I love you too mommy!” You heard Athena hand over the phone to Maze.

“Thanks again for all this Maze.” You smiled.

“Anytime girl. No need to thank me.”

“Alright.” You had let out a yawn, tears of exhaustion forming at the ends of your eyes as your lids started to get heavy while you tried to keep them open, causing your vision to get blurry in the process. “I’m going to let you sleep and I should do the same.”

“Yeah. You definitely sound like you need it. Goodnight Hekate.”

“Goodnight Maze.” You hung up the phone and set it on the nightstand. Pulling up the soft covers, you laid down on the bed with one of your arms tucked under the pillow while the other was rested on top of your stomach. You had left the curtains open to allow the bit of moonlight in the room. You stared up at the ceiling, feeling your body become numb from fatigue and it’s desperate need for sleep. You don’t remember being this tired.

As you slowly shifted to unconsciousness, your thoughts drifted off to what was to happen tomorrow before shifting to what had happened earlier between you and Zemo at the bar. The way Zemo’s gloved fingers danced patterns on your bare back and thigh still somehow managed to leave goosebumps and chills on your skin, and you felt ashamed to feel that way. Part of you pondered on whether he could have felt the scars lining your back, and you prayed he didn’t. You didn’t want to have to explain to him the story behind the scars that still haunted you till this day. As these thoughts ran through your mind, your eyes slowly fluttered closed and your body finally succumbed to what would have been the power of Hypnos, sleep.

Tag List: @girl-obsessed-with-things @aerynchromie @sunshinepower17 @viviace @kakimakiloh @thebivirgin @gambitsqueen @spookycereal-s @lulu-yuming @mochminnie @Gabitanaka47 @s00nhi @vanteguccir @tomhollandsslilslut @dracoxxyoflam @suchababie @uhhhcrypticbastard @on-my-way-to-erebor @thewinterrbucky @mylifeispainandiloveit @fillechatoyante @padmoonyfeorge @montypythonsholysnail @pollynx @aziraslowlylosestheirshit @roundbrownlover @awesomeowlbook @bookloverfilmoholic

[dog-teeth]

hi... idk if this is stupid but any tips on telling apart gender envy and attraction? i've been questioning for years and it's really throwing me off. i don't wanna transition only to realize i wanted to be with the person instead of being them :((

this ended up being long asf cuz i love to ramble so im gonna put it under the cut

i’ve struggled a lot with that too, i started being attracted to men after transitioning more, instead of just having gender envy towards them, thanks to physical/medical/more intense social transition which made me able to interact with men while not being perceived as a woman. it was all very confusing.

generally, i don’t think pure attraction would make you?? want to transition??? like if you were just attracted to them then you would be attracted to them as your current gender, not want to change your gender to be more like them? i guess maybe that could happen but honestly i don’t rly think cis people usually work like that.

i also think you need to deconstruct your idea of what ‘transition’ means - it’s not like one singular process over a set amount of time that you go through and then suddenly at the end you realize you made a mistake and don’t identify that way. transitioning is an active choice you make every moment of every day, and the vast majority of it is internal + social, not physical, so if you end up changing your mind, you can do it just fine. i strongly doubt you would go through an entire social and medical transition without realizing that you actually just wanted to be with someone. along the way you will be able to understand which parts of gender and transition make you happy, and what feels wrong. you’ll be able to feel out how things like altering your gender presentation with clothes, pronouns, names, etc, feels to you. if it makes you feel more like yourself, you’re probably not just doing it because you’re attracted to someone.

you can (and should) also take your transition as slow as you want, deciding to transition is a big deal but also it doesn’t have any inherent repercussions, from that decision you can choose to do whatever you want with your gender. take it one little step at a time, it’s not a big huge thing that happens all at once, it’s a slow and tedious and active process that will give you plenty of time to figure yourself out along the way.

as always, my blanket advice is that thinking really hard about your gender identity and what you want and how you feel often does not help, what does help is actually experimenting with your identity/presentation/etc, in whatever way you think would be most helpful and doable, even if it’s just by yourself or with a close friend or online etc. it doesn’t have to be drastic or public.

if you’ve been questioning for years, that’s a pretty solid indicator that some part of your identity, gender, sexuality, or presentation, is not currently what will make you happiest & your most genuine self. which part, i can’t tell you, but you can figure out with experimentation.

it also can be both gender envy and attraction. i feel that way about guys sometimes. it doesn’t make either aspect less valid or important, it just means there are traits of that gender/person that i find attractive both in a partner and that i want for myself. now that i’m more comfortable in my body & presentation (shoutout to hrt), the relationship i have with gender-envy-attraction is a little different, it would take a whole essay to explain but basically i just have a type LOL.

i can’t tell if you mean that there’s one specific person who you feel gender envy / attraction towards, or if this is a more general thing for you. if you mean one person, then consider looking for other sources of gender inspiration, like other people you’d want to be like, and see how it feels, and just think about your life and experiences separate from this person.

either way, think about who you would want to be if there were no expectations or context. just if it was you alone being able to choose what gender you were born as, or how you would want to look/be if you could instantly magically make it happen. if it’s something different than how you are now, then that’s significant! for example, i know that if i was the only person on earth and no one would ever see me, i would still want to have a flat chest. and i wouldn’t be able to choose which gender i id want to be born as because i wouldn’t want to be born as either one. dealing inn hypotheticals like this can be frustrating and unhelpful, but it can also help you get to the root of your feelings by removing the practical context of your life.

as always my perspective is that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from experimenting with your gender, and you should go for it, and if you end up realizing that it’s not for you, that’s totally fine and you can go back to being cis! no harm done! but if there’s even a chance that changing something about your gender would make you happier, you should try it out.

[airgetlamhh]

Thoughts on Lostbelt 2

Longpost ahead.

So.

Lostbelt 2. Finally played it after so long, and this will contain spoilers.

To make sure everyone knows what they’re getting into, I’ll give the thesis statement right here: Lostbelt 2 is bad. 

The entire time I played through the story, I kept waiting for it to pick up. I kept waiting for it to shrug off the poor pacing, the deus ex machinas, the random things just happening for the convenience of the plot. I kept waiting for it to shrug off the poor characterization, the constant telling instead of showing, the moral myopia. It never did. 

From nearly the very start to finish, Lostbelt 2 is bad. 

We start off fairly fine! A desperate ploy to sneak through the Lostbelt to meet up with the allies we’ve learned about, the Wandering Sea, interrupted by a Lostbelt Servant attacking us with the intent of stealing the Paper Moon that allows us to perform Zero Sails. All of that is a decent setup!

And then we’re told how strong this Saber is. How incredible they are. How their swordplay surpasses anything else they’ve ever seen, how they desperately wish that Musashi was there, how no no, he didn’t use his sword, he only parried! Things that Sherlock Holmes observes, not Mashu, not the one who’s actually been fighting for two years now, so Mashu seems borderline useless. Holmes figures out it’s Sigurd because...he uses a sword in a Scandinavian Lostbelt, and he figured out that Holmes used magic because Holmes fire magic lasers at him. From this, Holmes is able to pinpoint Sigurd’s identity, and that’s just the setup for the rest of the chapter, really. 

To be specific, what I mean is that we will constantly be told how incredible someone is with very little evidence, and the plot will bend and warp to make certain things happen. 

The scene does exactly one good thing, which is the foreshadowing of Surtr. Coming into it knowing that aspect allowed me to appreciate little bits like Surtr talking about Heroic Spirits like he wasn’t one, and Surtr not being able to kill Mashu because Sigurd resisted it. But that’s about all that was good in the scene, and all it really does is set up a consistent thing of Surtr being one of the only good parts - until he isn’t, of course.

I’m going to shift here from specifics to characters, because otherwise I’d be rehashing the entire story and I don’t have the time or effort required for that. That being said, it is difficult to decide where to start, so I’ll go right to the very building blocks of the story, the themes. 

Lostbelt 2 is, very obviously, attempting to have a theme of different kinds of love throughout the story. Part of this is because it’s very much set up like an otome game that the author Hikaru Sakurai would write, with Ophelia in the center, but it’s a more general theme too, with Skadi and the others all building up towards it. Now, love is an absolutely wonderful thing to build your themes around, exploring and examining it can be great for stories. Beasts themselves do that, examining different varieties of genuine, but toxic love that allow them to be well-meaning monsters.

The problem is that Lostbelt 2 does not engage with these themes on anything but a surface level. Skadi represents maternal love, so she constantly talks about how everyone is her children and how she’s their mother. No examination of the desire to see her children grow, the pain she feels when they fight, the struggle of forcing herself to cling so tightly knowing that it’s suffocating them and going to kill them before they reach 26. 

Napoleon represents passionate love, so he flirts with every woman he sees. No examination of why he’s so passionate or what drives him to burn so brightly, beyond a token mention that for some reason when he’s summoned he’s driven to seek out a lover, another aspect of things happening to serve the plot. 

Sigurd and Brynhildr represent true, romantic love, so they act mushy the entire chapter from the moment the real Sigurd appears. Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked their scenes a lot and I’m happy that they chose that portrayal instead of the one I was afraid of where it was yandere jokes day in day out. But there’s no engagement with the fundamentals of their love, nothing that tests it, even the existing complications with Brynhildr’s tragic summoning are swept away with a single line of “I can resist them better now maybe because my saint graph is broken”, so ultimately there’s no conflict whatsoever. And sure, that’s nice, but it’s not very good if you’re trying to build your story around a theme of love. 

Next, Surtr, who represents obsessive, dangerous love. I honestly actually think Surtr’s done well, even if the love he happens to represent is the least positive one. Surtr is capable of only one thing, destruction, and when he fell for Ophelia in that moment where she saw him and he saw her, he decided that if he ever had the chance, he would repay her the only way he knew how: allowing her to watch as he destroyed everything. When he’s summoned, he acts basically like the possessive one in an otome game, constantly talking about how Ophelia is his woman, getting angry when Napoleon flirts with her, spending most of his time pushing things between them as far as they can go etc. etc. I’m not particularly a fan of how his desire to repay Ophelia battling against his singular purpose transformed him into a typical possessive bastard boyfriend, but it’s at least engaged with on a deeper level.

Finally, Ophelia. She’s the otome game protagonist here, born into an controlling family and finally freed, hiding a secret special power, beloved by almost all the men involved in the chapter while she’s harboring feelings for someone else, even has the typical friendship route with Mashu going on. Her love is a love that she doesn’t acknowledge, but that’s all it is. It’s never engaged with beyond the fact that she clearly loves Kirschtaria but insists she doesn’t, and her final scene as she dies is Mashu telling her that yes, she did love Kirschtaria. That’s all. 

For a theme of love that’s supposedly woven into the Lostbelt, it’s barely examined at all. It’s not well written, and in comparison to Lostbelt 1′s theme of what it means to live in a world where the strong devour the weak and how deeply it examined and engaged with that, it’s a genuine disappointment.

Now, to move onto the plot, it’s...in the abstract, it’s fine. Chaldea is intercepted and forced to fight in the Lostbelt and ends up dragged into the overarching ploy by Surtr to release himself and burn everything. That’s a perfectly fine story, but the problem is that when you get to the moment-to-moment stuff, it falls apart completely. 

Skadi is constantly talked up as this incredibly powerful true goddess, not merely a Divine Spirit, and we know she can see and hear our every move because of her snow. How does the story work around this borderline omniscience within her Lostbelt? Skadi just decides not to do anything about Chaldea with zero rhyme or reason. We need to sneak into the palace and avoid alerting the guards, except Skadi already knows exactly where we are, except that doesn’t matter because we need to sneak in for some reason. We get captured with no plan to escape, and it just so happens that not only was Skadi keeping a Divine Spirit amalgamation locked in the dungeons too, but that she can piggyback on you making a contract with Napoleon (pure dumb luck you hadn’t done it before) and force a connection with you too, and then cast spells to hide you while you escape. Skadi knows we’re trying to free Brynhildr, who is the sole threat to Sigurd and Skadi’s own Valkyries in the entire Lostbelt? She just decides to do nothing at all. 

So much of the plot happens because either Skadi makes terrible decisions to do nothing, even though she knows Chaldea is there to destroy her entire world, or it happens because random shit goes on that couldn’t have been planned for like Sitonai. Shit like Surtr suddenly becoming Fafnir and being able to use the Evil Dragon Phenomenon to brainwash Ophelia somehow, like Ophelia’s Mystic Eye being able to do anything the plot demands, even when it explicitly goes against its existing capabilities like rewinding time on Sigurd’s wounds, like Bryn and Surtr somehow being able to resist the effects of her eye with no buildup or explanation. It’s poorly written in terms of the exact events that happen, and that all culminates in Skadi’s one cool moment, where she declares she’s going to kill the seven billion we fight for for the sake of her ten thousand...and then right after, it reveals that Skadi was going easy on us and refused to use her runes of instant death for no reason even though she was fighting for the survival of her entire world. The moment to moment plot is not good, and neither is what comes next, the worldbuilding.

In Skadi’s Lostbelt, half the world is covered in Surtr’s flames, while the other half is blanketed in Skadi’s snow. Where the two areas meet are the only places where life can grow, and so Skadi set up villages there. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough food for everyone, so she enforces strict population control: if you are not the mother or father of a child by 15, you are sent away to be killed by the giants. If you are the mother or father of a child, you are sent away to be killed at 25 instead. Through this tragic method, Skadi enforces a limit of 100 villages with 100 people, a total population of 10000. This is all fine. 

But take a closer look at what we actually see, and this falls apart. First, the giants. The giants are immortal and never need to eat. They do nothing but sleep all day and attack any human that comes close to them. Later, it’s revealed that they’ll attack any heat source including Valkyries, except we know that’s not true. Giants never attack each other, they never attack and destroy any of the plant life around them, they never attack the Lostbelt tree seeds, they even fight alongside mass-produced Valkyries before it’s revealed that Skadi and the three originals can mind-control them! They exist only to destroy, but Skadi can control them with her masks and indeed uses them as labour, keeping them chained up in her castle to be brought out and controlled as needed, or using them to guard Brynhildr’s castle. 

Worst of all, the first time we meet anyone in the chapter, it’s Gerda, who is sneaking out of her village to go to the massive liveable area close to Village 23. This area happens to be the only place she can go to get medicinal herbs that she needs or one of the people in her village will die in childbirth. This area is also full of giants, who have not destroyed it despite being fertile and full of life and heat, and who are allowed to take this place that could be used to grow more food for humans who need it, and simply stay there doing nothing. 

Now, this is where I thought the game would engage with things. How Skadi, in professing her love for all her children, is actually being cruel and unfair. They certainly set it up in the conversations she has, where she casually mentions how humans must die for her coexistence to continue. Skadi chooses to keep the giants alive despite the fact that they are all braindead and can do nothing but kill and destroy the moment their masks are removed. She chooses to keep them alive even though it comes at the expense of the humans who must die when the giants never make that same sacrifice. She chooses to allow them fertile land even though they cannot farm nor do they need food, and in doing so deprive the humans of potentially living longer, having more supplies to do so. She makes these strange choices and then later reveals she can control the giants to do her bidding, and it all seems to fall into place. 

What we see from how she’s characterized early on is that the system is unfair and Skadi is unwilling to change, because it benefits her tremendously. Gerda’s village didn’t have enough herbs to save the children forced to breed by 15, and despite Skadi’s omniscience letting her know that Gerda had snuck out and was trying to save a life, she did nothing. There was no system in place to beg a Valkyrie to get these herbs, and no indication whatsoever that Skadi would use her powers to control the giants to save Gerda’s life. The picture painted is someone who cares about humanity not out of true care, but simply out of obligation. Those who disobey her rules, even for good reasons, are left to die by the engines of destruction she keeps alive.

That’s not the story it tells later on, though. Skadi, portrayed from the start as this all-powerful goddess with complete control over everything, is revealed to be far weaker than we thought, and far less monstrous. Ignore all the times she did control the giants, she actually can’t do it all that well. Ignore all the times she declared she would not allow anyone she loved to be killed, but chose not to act to tell her Valkyries or her giants or anything else to save either Chaldea or Gerda. Ignore the evidence we see on screen that there’s more land that’s simply taken over by the giants, Skadi can only make those initial 100 villages and can’t make any more. Skadi is not bad. Skadi did the best she could. Skadi is morally right. 

Please love Skadi, there’s no complicated moral quandary here, she’s just Good.

Comparisons to Lostbelt 1 are impossible to avoid. Both have the same basic cause, a calamity that was impossible to predict and impossible to avert. The stagnation that dooms a Lostbelt created by the kings in question in their desperation to survive. Ivan turned humanity into the Yaga and created a world of strength, where progress is impossible because everyone in his new world was too busy devouring each other to work together. Skadi created a world of weakness, where progress is impossible because she limited the population to avoid everyone dying out. There is, however, one crucial difference between the two. Not in terms of story, not in terms of characters, not in terms of themes. 

“Your existence itself has already become a grave sin.”

That one line, spoken to Ivan, is the biggest difference between how the story engages things. In both Lostbelts, Ivan and Skadi did horrible things and made horrible choices because they had to, for the sake of survival. Ivan twisted humanity into monsters that lost capacity for mercy or empathy, while Skadi forced brutal population control and careless death on humanity because of her refusal to allow the giants to be destroyed. Both of them did horrible things, but only one is held to account by the story.

What Ivan did was evil, and the story recognises it. It doesn’t accept the excuse that it was all necessary for survival, because that’s irrelevant. It’s evil regardless. This same sentiment should have been expressed with Skadi, but it’s not. Ivan is condemned, but Skadi is absolved. She had no choice. She did the best she could. After building her up as all-powerful, the end of the story instead destroys her agency and power in its haste to prevent any kind of responsibility falling on Skadi’s head. Even to the very end, where she declares that she’ll kill all seven billion lives we fight for for the sake of her ten thousand, she holds back and allows us to win, despite how it butchers her character.

The biggest irony in all this is that Ivan’s world was worse than hers in ways. There was no way for the blizzards to stop, no meat besides for the demonic beasts. Crops couldn’t grow, and instead of living in peace, the Yaga were constantly tormented and killed by the Oprichniki. There were no liveable areas like there are in Lostbelt 2, no merciful ruler that sees all, and controls the greatest threats, no peaceful villages where food can be grown. There’s far more justification for Ivan to claim he had no choice and that he did all he did for survival, because it’s hard to see what his choices were. But Skadi? Skadi intentionally does not act and intentionally allows suffering and pain to come to her children, both actively by not saving Gerda, and passively by allowing the giants to take land they don’t need. Despite this, Skadi is absolved, because the story desperately wants her to be a tragic waifu that you love.

There’s lots more I could talk about. How Sitonai was pointless and existed only for a pathetic FSN reference. How Gerda was a cowardly and manipulative piece of writing compared to Patxi. How Ophelia’s story of always being told what to do is resolved not by her taking the step to freedom herself, but being told to free herself by someone else. The constant repetition that plagues the chapter, the weirdly prevalent sexism that everyone gets in on when it comes to Ophelia’s love life, the nonsense of the final battle itself, the absolute nonsense of Skadi being Scáthach-Skadi. I could even talk about how I’d fix the chapter, because boy howdy there’s a lot there. 

There’s lots more I could talk about, but this is already very long, and I think it speaks for itself. Obviously asks are available if anyone wants me to examine them in more detail, but for now, I’ll finish off with one last reminder.

Lostbelt 2 is bad.  

[bamf-jaskier]

Good!Nilfgaard AU

Book Spoilers under the cut but also this might be my new fav AU

Fringilla goes to Nilfgaard in 1210 and the kingdom is falling apart. Fergus is a terrible king an it's no surprise when the Usurper takes over but Fringilla knows he will be just as bad as Fergus so she helps a thirteen year old Emhyr escape into the Northern Kingdoms in the hopes that he will one day reclaim the throne. Of course, Emhyr goes and does his thing where he becomes Duny and ends up w/ Pavetta but I am SHIFTING THE TIMELINES so Pavetta and Duny are both mid-twenties when they meet. Then, Vilgefortz finds out about the White Frost and the prophecies about a child of elder blood. He finds Fringilla and the two of them begin to search bloodlines for who could possibly still have elder blood and they end up finding that Queen Calanthe's line would have it. The other line that has Elder Blood is the royal line of Nilfgaard but no one has seen Emhyr for almost a decade now. Good news, however, there was just a Royal wedding in Cintra and they are currently having celebrations so Fringilla and Vilgefortz sneak away from Nilfgaard to go to the celebrations in Cintra and see if there are any hints of Elder Blood. 

When they get there, Fringilla is in shock because holy shit that is Emhyr aka lost prince of Nilfgaard and Vilgefortz is like "oh fuck Pavetta is pregnant that child is the prophecy child" So late that night Fringilla and Vilgefortz sneak into Pavetta and Duny's rooms and reveal themselves and tell the two of the prophecy. In this world, Duny took to his isolation and exile a lot more humbly and is sort of like "oh wow you wanted me to re-take the throne? I thought I would just stay the prince of Cintra”

After hearing the prophecy, Pavetta grows concerned. She knows how power-hungry Calanthe is and even now, there are rumors of an Elven Army marching towards Cintra. If they had a child of elder blood, well, a lot of people want to get their hands on that power and with Elves coming from the North and Nilfgaard (under the rule of the Usurper) coming from the South there is danger on all sides.

Especially with how much the Northern Kingdoms hate non-humans, Ciri might be considered by some to be non-human so they want to raise their child somewhere where they could be accepted.

after talking, the four of them decide that the best way to make sure that the prophecy child is truly hidden is to kill the Royal family of Cintra and either go into hiding or return to Nilfgaard.

So, just before Ciri is born, the four of them board a ship to visit Skellige and fake a shipwreck, however something goes wrong and when they portal out Pavetta goes into labor. However, with the healing magic that Fringilla knows she is able to save Pavetta's life and Ciri is born on the shore of the ocean.

Now, the gang goes to Nilfgaard in disguise, Fringilla returning to court to see what happened in her absence and how they could possibly re-take the throne.

She enlists the help of a nobleman, Cahir, in order to gain better access to all the going-ons in court. The Usurper is not popular and his imperial war against the continent has made him even less popular but they need an opening for Duny to assassinate him.

As the rightful heir to Nilfgaard, Emhyr taking the throne is the only real way that the people would accept his role. Fringilla brings Vilgefortz into Nilfgaard's court as a "new mage" and Cahir, Fringilla and Vilgefortz begin making plans for a masquerade ball where Emhyr could sneak in.

Meanwhile, Emhyr and Pavetta are living in disguise in Nilfgaard as peasants. They had fake names and are raising a newborn Ciri. Once again, this is another way Emhyr is humbled, he  had to live among normal people. (Also having Pavetta around keeps him grounded too)

A few months pass and Duny infiltrates the court and just imagine this scene:

Emhyr cuts off the Usurper's head, then all the usurper's men and knights attack and Fringilla, Cahir and Vilgefortz basically begin taking them the fuck OUT and the gang takes the throne of Nilfgaard.

Instead of establishing the previous monarchy, Emhyr creates a more parliamentarian system where he has a council that could overrule the king if needed. Obviously, his top council members are the Sun Trio of Cahir, Vilgefortz and Fringilla.

Of course, he is going by Emhyr now and Pavetta is also going by a different name and no one in Cintra even knew Ciri existed so they all collectively hide their past with Cintra and hold onto these new identities.

The war on the continent is stopped and the forces of Nilfgaard retreat. They shore up their defenses and begin trying to build up their own Kingdom.

Between Fringilla's disdain for mages, Vilgefortz's disdain for the military and Pavetta having an in-depth understanding of the hatred against non-humans they begin to push Nilfgaard in this direction of being one of the few kingdoms open to non-humans. Ciri grows up being taught magic by Vilgefortz and Fringilla and I can totally see Fringilla basically having this moment one day when she's surrounded by everyone and she looks around and she just goes "Oh, while I wasn't noticing I made a family" and it's just very sweet.

Calanthe still massacres the elves when Ciri is around 12 years old but this time, many of the remaining elves flee to Nilfgaard and the other nonhumans in the Kingdom go to court and tell the council that it's time they take the continent back. Fringilla has been waiting for an excuse to try and fight back against the council who she sees as perpetuating so many of the injustices on the continent so she immediately agrees and the others follow her lead.

Then, for the first time in a decade, under rule of a council headed by two mages who left the order and a lost-prince, Nilfgaard prepares for war.

As for how Geralt and Yennefer fit in: The two of them find each other still but this time when the war between Nilfgaard and Cintra starts, they don't know what side they are on. Geralt has thought his child surprise has been dead for over a decade so he has no ties to Cintra and Yennefer has hated the brotherhood for decades so she has no desire to save their order.

There is no Vilgefortz to convince her to come back so her and Geralt end up running away from the war together but then Yennefer runs across an Elven refugee camp and she ends up helping and her and Geralt end up helping the elven resistance which ends with them getting caught up in battle against the Northern Kingdoms and in the heat of battle, Yennefer and Geralt are surrounded but then Vilgefortz, Cahir and Fringilla end up saving their lives and that is how they are all introduced.

Vilgefortz invites them back to camp and when they get there, there is the Nilfgaard royal family and Geralt feels drawn to the Princess of Nilfgaard and can't understand why and then they are all a family together fighting the Northern kingdoms.

[geeky-politics-46]

The Asgardian Candidate

Loki/The West Wing FanFiction Crossover

Chapter 3 - “The First Debate”

The 2 candidates strode toward the center of the stage for the ceremonial pre-debate handshake. Both men exuding confidence & authority, even though the air around them was thick with palpable tension

The first lady, Abbey, entering hand in hand with her husband. It was an effort to further highlight the differences between the candidates.

President Bartlet easily outplayed Loki in policy knowledge, but regardless the handsome raven haired charismatic Loki managed to maintain a thin lead over the incumbent. Tonight they were hoping to change that.

They had found a vulnerable spot in Loki, one that Jed was particularly suited to take advantage of. Jed Bartlet was a family man 1st & foremost, nothing mattered more to him. Loki, always solo on the campaign trail with no spouse or relatives to be seen, became visibly angered at the mention of family.

After the first lady had smiled & waved to the audience she turned to her husband. Abbey tipped her head up & kissed Jed, she then placed her hand on his chest over his heart & touched her forehead to his. Both of their eyes closed in that moment & the president placed his hand over Abbey’s, smiling as their hands met.

Loki watched the display with annoyance, to him they were simply putting on an act, a show for their audience. They were posturing.

To the Bartlet’s however this was their moment of ritual, a grounding force that connected them before a moment of political chaos. While it may have been Loki’s weakness, Jed derived only strength from his family & especially from his wife.

Loki placed his hands on his hips & shifted his weight to signal his impatience with being made to wait. He had just finished rolling his eyes when Abbey pulled away from her husband & exited the debate stage.

President Bartlet was the 1st to extend his hand, his warm friendly smile covering a feeling of anxiety. He may be the President of the United States, the Commander In Chief, but something about this man exuded an authority outranking even his own.

Loki locked hands with the President, his lips curling into his signature mischievous smirk, lowering his gaze slightly & boring his rich emerald eyes into his opponent. He was ready for a battle.

As they walked to their podiums, Loki’s eyes stayed on the President. Like a predator stalking his prey, he watched every step the man took. The president could feel the eyes on him, causing him to swallow hard as he took his position.

The 2 men stood roughly 20 feet apart on the large stage, podiums angled toward the front center. The audience had begun to silence & still themselves. The moderator was finishing up sorting her papers. It was nearly time to begin.

Bartlet adjusted his microphone, straightened his tie, basically anything except look at the man to his left. Loki was still staring him down, & he couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the nervous fidgeting he had elicited.

Loki’s attention snapped to the front of the stage as the moderator began reciting the debate rules over her own microphone. Truth be told, he had been so wrapped up in his game that he had forgotten she was even there.

He could hardly even see her due to the stage lights, so he looked for the news & TV cameras instead. That was where he would focus. That was who he was campaigning to after all, to the millions watching on TV. They were who he wanted to win.

As the cameras went live the moderator once again recited her introduction & the rules for the debate. This time leaving out bits & pieces that pertained only to the candidates themselves or to their staff. It was really showtime now.

“Good evening, & welcome to the first debate for this year’s U.S. Presidential election. The participants are President Josiah Bartlet, & Mr. Loki Laufeyson. I am Rachel Maddow your moderator. The topics this evening will all be pertaining to U.S. domestic policy. The format for the debate is as follows, & has been agreed to by both campaigns. Each candidate will make a 2 minute opening statement. The debate will then be divided into 6 segments, each 14 minutes long. At the beginning of each segment I will ask both candidates the same lead-off question & they will each have up to 2 minutes to respond, we will then move into open discussion for the rest of the time allotted. At the end of the debate each candidate will be given 2 minutes to make a closing statement. Mr. Laufeyson you won the coin toss, so we will be beginning with you. You have 2 minutes for your opening statement please.”

Loki shifted his weight from foot to foot, hands poised on the edges of the podium. He glanced downward & licked his lips. A smile spread across his face as he brought his gaze back up, locking into the cameras.

“Well, first of all thank you dear Rachel & my opponent, President Bartlet, for taking part in this glorious display of… purpose… before the American people. I know you all feel lost, like leaves scattered in the wind. Without a true direction. That is the downside of freedom, it diminishes life’s joy as you scramble for identity. In order to truly embrace all that this life, this country, has to offer you must put your trust in a true leader. Someone who will lead you down the path toward greatness without question or hesitation. I will be that benevolent leader if you put your trust in my hands.”

“Thank you Mr. Laufeyson. Now to you President Bartlet.”

“I grew up on the promise of life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness. Along the way, however, we learn how important so many other things there are in our lives. Healthcare, an education, family. Those are just a few that pop to mind. I am, & will be a, president who see’s these issues as ever evolving questions seeking adaptable solutions. As your president I will continue to fight for policy that pulls us forward together, not pushes people into a line. To unite as one family; because at the end of the day, if you have people to call your family - even if you aren’t related by family - you are never truly lost.”

Loki could feel the color drain from his face. Bartlet had just fired a shot across the bow, within the first five minutes of the debate Loki knew he was already starting to sink.

————————

It simply got worse from there. On Asgard Loki never had to attend to matters of actual policy. He was trained as a sorcerer & warrior with a birth right to the throne. Why in the nine realms would he have bothered to learn about budgets & taxes? He was a prince, destined to be a king. A ruler waiting for his throne.

Despite his best efforts to keep up, & even throw a few quick magical charms to make his answers sound more polished, he knew he was floundering. The bile was rising in his stomach as he watched the human to his right take the last of the open question time.

All he had to do now was deliver his closing statement. Then he would re-evaluate. He knew he would have to make a big move tomorrow if he wanted to hold any footing .

“We have now come to the final segment of our debate, the closing statements. Mr. Laufeyson, you have 2 minutes.”

“Standing here, before all of you, I must confess that I spent much of my life being lied to. Many of you have also spent your lives being lied to, by the politicians who claim they will put your needs first. Being told you were something only to find out it was all fiction. All they really care about is power. It’s time for something different than these same lies time after time. I will never feed you those same lies, I will lead you to where you can fully flourish. I will make it easy for you.”

“President Bartlet, you have 2 minutes for your closing statement.”

“While I know that many voters prefer to not delve too deep into the world of policy specifics, & I certainly understand why, but a president should be able to give you a specific plan of how they intend to solve the problems befalling our country. While my opposition here certainly has a flair for language, even when it edges a tad on the overdramatic, I have yet to hear him detail exactly how he will lead this country to a better place. I can tell you that there aren’t many un-nuanced moments in leading a country, it takes much more than fancy generalities. So, Mr. Laufeyson, my question to you is what comes after the generality? What are the next 10 words? How are we going to do it? Give me the next 10 words after that & I’ll drop out of the race right now.”

Loki stood yet with his mouth agape. Fists clenched so tight on the podium his knuckles were white. A mere mortal had bested him, & he knew it just as well as Loki did. Even the moderator had appeared stunned at Bartlet’s closing statement bravado.

As the moderator closed out the debate, the tv camera crews began their scuttle over to the spin room to try & get the best spot for interviews. Bartlet smiled & waved to the audience as he strode offstage. Loki stood there, basking in the stage lights for just a moment longer. Taking a deep breath to compose himself before turning & leaving through the other side of stage. He could already see staffers & stagehands clearing a path for him, they could feel the frustration radiating off of him.

His campaign staff would be taking care of all the post debate interviews. On his best days he hardly had patience for them, on days like today he would rather be looked in closet with his brother than deal with the media’s pedantic prattling. Loki had a plan to put together, & he had to put it together fast.

[rotzaprachim]

i realised i probably will never get here in in painter’s light so enjoy this my favorite fandom crossover/easter egg i’ve ever written:

(It’s from an au where declan stayed with his mother ergo canon + dialect differences)

6. Washington DC 

Age twenty, he gets a business call from a woman who has a statue to sell. Normally he doesn’t take these kinds of calls anymore, the ones that are meant to go straight to his mother’s number, but this woman sounds desperate in the way that has him thinking it’s better if he handles it than one of his mother’s hands in the city, so he buys two Amtrack tickets, and north he goes. Matthew gets sick after eating a microwaveable, foil-wrapped train burger from the snack car.  

He installs Matthew in the Met while he meets his contact. An old school deli, one of the kind that’s apparently disappearing fast, an endangered species, and she’s probably a local so it’ll be annoying or pretentious anyway, but she refused any of his options for fancier, more expensive wine-and-dine locations anyway so deli it is. He gets a lox bagel and a coffee and two black-and-whites in a bag to split with Matthew later while he sizes her up. She keeps looking at her hands but she’s calm with the person she called in from Boudicca, has something steely about her, like she’s dealt with bigger fish before and isn’t scared. There’s something about her that’s like him, he knows, thought they don’t say the magic word at all. He thinks she’s maybe thirty. 

“In the interest of not beating around the bush further, as it’s clear that’s what neither of us is here to do, let’s move on to the real action item.” 

“I have a statue to sell.” 

She shows him photos. The camera resolution isn’t quite what he needs to appraise it seriously, but he can see how shockingly life-like it is already. 

“How much d’you want for it?” 

“Fifty thousand.” 

He almost coughs up his coffee. 

“You haven’t been playing this game for long.” 

She doesn't’ say anything. 

“Fifty thousand, take it or leave it.” 

“What’s the material?” 

“Marble.” 

He considers. If it’s good up close he could probably resell it for four or five times that to some collector interested in neo-hellenic stuff. Not many people making original marble statuary these days compared to the market of the super-rich looking for shit to decorate their back gardens. 

“Can you show me?” 

Declan calls Matthew to tell him to go back to the hotel and get takeaway without him and follows the woman uptown on the bus. They get off in Spanish Harlem, a world away from the shiny robot skyscrapers downtown. She lives on the fourth floor of her building, in a narrow apartment somewhat rank with the smell of body odour and spilled beer, although she throws the windows open and has loads of potted plants about, like she’s trying very hard to get rid of the smell. 

“There.” 

The sculpture is unmissable. Life size and astonishingly, terribly ugly. Truly incredible in it’s attention to awful detail. A middle aged, balding, short man with a fan of cards in one hand and a beer swinging from the other, positioned exactly as if he’s just got up from sitting. Mouth opened, soundlessly screaming his head off. Declan sees it and flinches without even meaning too. His mother’s not had many men, but she had a few, when she was younger. But it’s just a statue. Just a statue. 

Still one of the weirdest goddamn things he’s ever fucking seen, and that’s saying something. 

Authentic marble though. 

“Formal education? Apprenticed to someone?” 

“Take it or leave it. Fifty thousand.” 

No more information. He knows exactly why she called him. He’s the kind of man you call when you don’t have information about the life-sized sculpture of a man in your sitting room and no information to give about how you made it, in the same year you report your husband missing to the police. When to the untrained eye, the two look identical. He’s that kind of man. 

He gets her three million USD for it. 

It’s all through an official channel so it’s harder to launder, get it looking legal. A million upfront, the rest leaked in increments over the next ten years. All shiny, all legal, all IRS-signed off. He personally takes out fifty thousand and puts it in a manila  envelope for when he meets her a few blocks off central station, an hour before his train’s scheduled to leave. He gives her the envelope. She gives him a white paper bag containing only blue sweets. It looks like a proper pick-n-mix haul, something he didn’t even think the States had. Whoppers, sour strings, taffy, gum, gummy sharks. He eats a sweet and sour wind-up before being able to stop himself, the sweet-sour crystals on his fingers like being a kid again. 

“You’re so young,” she says finally, like this didn’t occur to her the entire time he was selling what was probably her husband’s dead body. 

He shrugs, but he’s smiling. “But I got your done.” She can’t be more than ten years older than him, anyway, and most of her jobs have been harder. You don’t tell art world undergrounders your personal life, anyway, but he noticed all of the accoutrements of a maybe secondary-school aged kid lurking around her flat, Lucky Charms, mud scuffs on the floor in strange places, football jerseys in the hamper. She’d tried to hide the obvious things, no photos on the fridge or skateboard leaning against the door frame, but he had an eye for those kinds of details like other people had a head for figures, and he recognised the detritus of a teenager well, because he’d been one recently and he had one. 

She appraises him for a second. Her eyes are large and very dark brown, and they don’t let anything go. “Zeus?” she finally says, like she’s been thinking it for a long time, testing the waters. “Hera?” 

“Like the Greek gods?” 

He went through his greek mythology phase, for sure. Half of decoding what posh people write seems to be about knowing the ins and outs of the soap operatic turns of events people told each other for fun two thousand years ago, which is then called Classics. 

She looks at him longer, considers him. 

“Lugh, then? Bridgid?” 

“I don’t know what you mean by that.” 

She nods. “Sorry if- nevermind. Thank you for selling my statue.” 

“I hope you do well with it. With your… artistic career. Now, and I don’t fucking care if you blow throught he money in a year, never call me again. Never call this number again. Never call any number related to it. If your money never comes through do fine with a million and don’t go looking. Never.” They shake hands and part ways, and he never sees her again, but he does think about her a lot afterwards anyway, parsing their conversation out. No gods and no God either, as far as he knows. Strange fucking thing to ask. 

He’s learned enough by how Matthew is on trains - and on ferries, it transpires, and in strange taxis, and he doesn’t want to fucking think about the transatlantic flight he’s planning at some point - not to let him eat much before the train back to DC, for which he feels bad. While they were in New York he let Matthew choose a show and dutifully got some last minute Dear Evan Hansen tickets off a third party seller, got the good seats and the playbill they got signed after by the cast, Declan knows who to talk to for these kinds of things.

[chaptersofnow]

the royal kiddos of Chrysalis, Cadance and Shining armor

Flurry Heart, Skyla, Instar Pale and Crimson Sweet

Bios under the cut

Name: Flurry Heart Nickname(s): Age: 26 Pronouns: She/her, They/Them Identity: Nonbinary Lesbian crush/relationship: Dating Pumpkin Cake Parents: Cadance, Shining Armor, Chrysalis Sibling: Skyla, Crimson Sweet, Instar Pale Special Talent: Magical blacksmith, Love magic Occupation: Princess Location: Crystal Kingdom Likes: Heavy metal, wrist bands, doing make up, teddy bears Dislikes: annoying men, people who think she isnt working hard as a princess Bio: Flurry Heart, oldest child to Shining armor and Cadance and heir to the crystal empire. she was an absolute sweet heart,  curly pigtails absolutely beloved by the kingdom. However when she entered her teen years she went into a hard goth phase and never got out of it. a real 180 on her personality. none the less she still works hard to work on her hobbies often, keeping up with her princess duties and making her family proud. At the end of the day she happily cuddles up with her girlfriend Pumpkin as they show each other funny pictures on their phones and watch stupid movies until they pass out. Growing up Flurry heart and Cozy Glow were good friends,when Cozy Glow had to come along with Celestia and Luna for trips to the empire for Flurry heart to cantorlot the two got to spend time together. it took a bit of warming up as Cozy glow was a few years older than the royal princes, but when the two started hanging out they were best friends. Cozy glow would often sneak her to cool places, steal snacks from the royal kitchen and so on. Cozy also was the one who introduce her to heavy metal saying quote "I don't know if you'll like this you seem like the type to like classy music like the nutcracker of sumthin'" the next visit  Flurry heart had dyed her whole mane black and had on the messiest smudgiest make up. it was a real kicker to watch this 15 year old walk is like she was hot shit. Cozy glow gave her more CD, taught her to style her hair, put on makeup and the whole thing. When they got older Flurry returned favor by custom making Cozy Glow her armor when she was officially made a guard of cantorlot. Flurry heart tries to not let the comments of the citizens and visiting dignitaries get to her, and it helps to have her parents supporting her . She met her girlfriend Pumpkin Cake when the mare began to take on Sugarcube corner deliveries herself, like Flurry heart recalls knowing her when they were real little, and seeing her at gatherings where pinkie brings the cake twins to come have fun. but they never really got to talk. but with the constant deliveries and Flurry Hearts development for a sweet tooth Pumpkin cake was around often. at some point the two started dating and Pumpkin moved to the Crystal empire and lives with flurry heart. Pumpkin works in the royal kitchen and Flurry heart is a black smith specializing is creating magic infused armor. 

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Name: Skyla Nickname(s): Age: 24 Pronouns: She/her Identity: Agender Bi pony crush/relationship: Parents: Cadance, Shining Armor, Chrysalis Sibling: Flurry Heart, Crimson Sweet, Instar Pale Special Talent: Love Magic Occupation: Princess Location: Crystal Kingdom Likes: keeping on schedual, looking good, being looked up to, tradition Dislikes: not receiving recognition for her work, physical labor Bio: Second born to the empire, Skyla is defiantly the most cookie cutter princess of the four crystal heirs. She takes after her mother but is a lot of uptight in keeping tradition, making sure everything is set to be on scheduled and so forth. she may have picked this up from her aunt twilight more or less. while her family around her tries to keep her grounded and calm she can't help but get in a big tilly over not having control over things. its gone from not being able to control her pretend play dates as a filly to making sure the daily happening don't get off course. Her older sister Flurry Heart, while working hard and still making sure to get her work done, is a lot more laze in things and is ok with letting things slide if they don't go according to plan. Which tends to lead Skyla to try and follow after her and fix these things even if they don't need to be fixed. Skyla puts on a nice happy face for the people but all her siblings know she holds quite the temper when no one is looking, especially when Flurry tries to tell her to calm down. Flurry was originally the one being trained to take over Cadance's spot as queen of the empire one day, training in the use of her magic. However when Flurry found her true calling as a black smith the honor was passed down to Skyla who has happily worked hard to catch up. Skyla see's herself as bearing a torch for the future of the empire and that she has to be perfect and so must everything else around her. Fearing things to be able to fall apart at any moment. after the big war against darkness Skyla had begun to realize for a few years, realizing no great danger would ruining the kingdom. But after the Queen Erroria incident where her and her family had been captured she has brought back up her walls and has become more uptight then before. 

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Name: Crimson Sweet Nickname(s): Stripes Age: 11 Pronouns: They/Them Identity: Nonbinary Girl crush/relationship: Parents: Cadance, Shining Armor, Chrysalis Sibling: Flurry Heart, Skyla, Instar Pale Special Talent: helping  people make friends Occupation: Princess, student Location: Crystal Kingdom Likes: friends, beetles, small notebooks, the beach Dislikes: Mirrors, thunder, rotten food Bio: Oldest of the two kids born after the marriage of Chrysalis to the crystal family. a marriage made out of many years of apologies, forgiveness and new found friendship. After Chrysalis accepted the friendship of twilight and equestria she spent many years making up for what she did, so her people and everyone else. She was blinded by anger and sadness, when she ruled she truly believed the only way to feed her people was to take their love, and when shown a new way she felt foolish for never realizing and having let her people starve that she denied the change at all. After the Hive came to accept her as their own again she led beside Thorax and his council. Thorax had always been too young to rule all by himself so with a queen with years of experience around to help him things in the Hive improved in new ways. now with her relationship with the Hive repaired Chrysalis slowly made progress to apologize for what she did to Candace and Shining armor. it took awhile to move past the day she invaded and tried to ruin their wedding, but in time over years of forming bonds they had a new wedding. introducing Chrysalis to their family. Chrysalis still lived in the Hive and though their wedding was official for the time it more stood for political alliance between the two, as chrysalis wasn't ready to let thorax stand alone as leader yet. Her staying ended up being what saved the colony, when the war of darkness arose through equestria the entity tried to reclaim the changlings once again as is minons. Had chrysalis not been there to protect them they would have surely been corrupted once again. After the war ended Chrysalis felt safe leaving Thorax as ruler, chrysalis now lives in the crystal empire with Cadance and Shining armor. over the years they have had two children, Crimson Sweet and later Instar Pale. Crimson sweet is still of the younger royal kids, they are quite rambunctious and love to run around with all the other kids in the kingdom. they love to eat and their favorite thing to do is make picnics, they take outings with their school friends almost every week. Bringing along cute snacks that Pumpkin Cake has made for them. 

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Name: Instar Pale Nickname(s): Age: 10 Pronouns: He/him, Any Identity: Genderfuild bi pony crush/relationship: Parents: Cadance, Shining Armor, Chrysalis Sibling: Flurry Heart, Crimson Sweet, Skyla Special Talent: Studying Occupation: Royality, student Location: Crystal Kingdom Likes: cool weapons, books with cool covers, drawings, collecting things Dislikes: loud noises, making decisions, strangers Bio: Youngest of four, Instar is the quiet baby of the family. Growing up in a family as big as his everyone around him babied him, saying he was always so sweet and cuddly. Which led to an amount of coddling that turned him into a very antisocial pony. he struggles to talk to new people and wont go anywhere unless he is with someone he knows so he can duck behind them to avoid conversations. hes a total hypochondriac, believing to be constantly sick and feeling weak all the time dispute his health being fine. Instar likes to spend time with Flurry heart and shining armor the most, Flurry heart because she is quite and they get to just sit around listening to music and reading. and his father because he gets to sit on the side line and watch him work. Instar doesn't think they'd make much for a guard but they love to read all about the different weapons, armors and Technics taught through history and the country. watching his father display these things, or Flurry heart MAKE them is right up his ally. If you do manage to get him to talk to you he is an info dumping machine and will talk your ear off about some obscure history thing he's learned recently.

[itawonka-creates]

This Jewelry Will End Up Killing Me - Prologue

So guess who decided to make the first chapter to a Daminette Konosuba AU. I’m using the world and rules of it more so than the characters, but this would definitely be more comedic than my other two fan fictions. If I get good feedback, I might continue it. This is just the world set up. 

Damian stirred a bit and struggled to open his eyes. The light coming from below him made him flinch as he struggled to adjust to the brightness. “Oh good, you’re coming to.”

“Huh?” His vision began to focus a bit more and he noticed he was in a dark space with no one around but a lone woman. She sat in a throne and folded her hands over her lap. She smiled kindly at him, but her eyes were filled with pity. “What?”

“Do you know who you are?”

He thought for a moment and nodded, “My name is Damian Wayne.”

“Anything else?” He thought a bit more before she asked, “Do you remember how you died?”

“I died?” Suddenly memories came flooding back to him. He was with his family. They were on a mission. Something went wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. He noted how he was still wearing his uniform but was surprised it was undamaged. He placed a hand over his abdomen and shuttered, “I don’t think my body was intact.”

“No, but you died quickly. It was merciful and for that I am thankful.” She placed her hand over her heart and sighed, “You left your world too soon. You have transformed so much. You’ve grown to be such a fine young man.” She frowned, “I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. They are still fighting, but they mourn.”

Damian tensed, “Wait! My family! They need me! I need to go back!”

“I cannot do that.” She held out her hand, “Damian, I am the goddess of creation. My name is Tikki. I am here to assist you in your passing.”

“My passing?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not ready to go yet!”

“I may reincarnate you, but you would not remember your past life. You will start anew.”

“I can’t do that either! I have to get back to them right now!”

She bit her lip, “There is one way, but I do not recommend it.”

“Tell me.”

She waved her hand and a book appeared before it floated down in front of her. The book opened and pages started flying out of the bindings. The pages flew around the two before lining up in front of him. “In another world, one very different from yours, we have had a problem with who we call Hawkmoth. The people of the world call him a demon who controls people through their emotions, but we gods and goddesses know the truth.” He noted how her fists clenched as she spoke of him, “The Demon King was like you, but bitter. The Demon King stole the powers of one of our own and now we can no longer stop him. We haven’t even been able to watch over him. Our information on the Demon King has been significantly restricted.”

“How restricted?”

“Our line of information and communication to Nooroo was severed 18 years ago.”

Damian grimaced, “What can I do?”

She bit her lip before proceeding, “Us deities have decided we would grant any wish to the hero who brings this man down. This is your only chance at resurrecting at the exact place and time when you died.”

“I’ll take it.”

“Damian-”

“I’ll take it. I’ve faced aliens, magic, and literal demons from hell. With my history, I can do it. I can’t leave my family.”

Tikki nodded and pointed at the pages between them, “You may take one thing with you to this new world. Along with this, you will continue to have your memories and will gain knowledge of the language to help you integrate better.”

He looked at the pages and noted how odd each of the items were, “What kind of world is this?”

“In your world, the best comparison is what your people call ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ or ‘RPGs’. This world is older, magic and monsters run amok, nobles and monarchy are the norm leadership, and leveling is the only way to power up in your classes.” She chuckled, “It may be an exciting world for you to learn new skills and magic you never would’ve in your world.”

“Magic? Monsters? Sounds like a bad videogame, but something I can work with.” He turned his attention back to the pages in front of him. He examined each one; a sword, a staff, a suit of special armor, and much more. Still, despite all the perks and charms, nothing seemed quite right. “I can’t use any of these.”

“Hm?”

“I can’t use any of these.” He pushed the pages away to look her in the eye, “If I’m going to take on someone using a deity’s power, I’m going to need a deity’s power too.” Damian sighed, “I need your power.”

Tikki smiled and hummed, “You were always a smart one. Always one to look at all the right angles.” She sighed and looked at her lap, “I cannot give you too much for obvious reasons but what I can give you is a tool made by my power.” She held out her hand and a glowing orb appeared in her palm. She placed her other hand over it and squeezed hard before opening her hands. She blew onto the orb and Damian watched as the orb faded away until what was left was a pair of earrings. “If you use this, you will be able to transform and use some of my power. However, if you find one of my direct decedents, they will be able to tap into my true powers and you will never fail.”

She hummed a sweet tune and the ground below him started glowing, “Damian Wayne, you will awaken in the town of crossroads where you will be guided by a fairy of my own essence. Keep her safe and she will guide you both to glory and to reliable party members. I will speak to the others. More tools of our own creation will fall before you as you continue your quest.”

He nodded and noticed how the floor below him began glowing. A wall of light circled him and he began levitating, “Tikki?”

“With the blessing directly from the goddess of creation, I send you off. Please, Damian, do not die.”

He nodded, “I’ll do my best. Watch over my family.”

“Of course.” The light became blinding and he felt his body fade away as he reincarnated. The last thing he heard was a simple “good luck” before he woke up on a bench. He looked around and Tikki was right, this really was a Dungeons and Dragons type of world. Horse-drawn carriages passed him by along with men and women all in medieval-looking armor and clothing. No real technology, but the world’s civilization seemed advanced enough for him to grasp the probable concepts and rules. He noticed how some people began crowding around him and whispering. He looked down and realized his clothing was probably making him stand out, “Right. Now, where do I go?”

He felt a tap on his side and opened up his cape slightly. A large red and black fairy hid behind the clothing but smiled. He was comforted by the company and began walking. “Okay. Where do I go fairy?”

He felt the creature travel up to his hoodie and it whispered in his ear, “You can call me Tikki. I am part of her after all.” He nodded and she peeked at the town around her, “Okay, you will want to go to the adventure’s guild. Receive your class and skillset and register yourself as an adventurer.”

“Should I hide my identity?”

She shook her head, “You do not need to hide your identity here. This is a new world and your real name will be on the registration card. Besides, with your standing and background, you may pass as some kind of noble. You could use that to your advantage as you work your way through this world and gain skill points.”

“Skill points? Are you serious?”

“Yes, it is the only way for us to gain enough strength and resources later.” He rolled his eyes and followed her directions while taking in the sights. The place came out of a storybook and it seemed the currency resembled gold. He’d need to ask Tikki how to get money. He felt someone staring at him and looked around before noticing a girl staring at him outside of a bakery. Once they locked eyes she visibly tensed. “I sense someone of great importance.”

“Huh? Where?”

“I don’t know.”

He scanned the area some more, but his sights kept locking back onto the girl staring at him. He could tell his fuse was getting short and it was obvious she wasn’t going to stop any time soon. He grumbled and finally stomped over. She flinched and stepped back while turning her attention anywhere else. “Hey! What do you want from me?”

“Eh? I wasn’t- I mean, I didn’t- I mean, what are you talking about?” She laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck, but he clearly wasn’t buying it. When she realized that wasn’t going to work she started apologizing profusely, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t usually stare at strangers! I’m sorry!”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “What do you want?”

“It’s just-”

“Spit it out!”

“I’ve never seen anyone with your clothes before and I’m a designer and-”

He snapped at her, “Then take a picture!”

She blinked, “A what?”

He flinched. A camera may not even be a concept in this world yet, “Ah, um, right. Never mind.”

She nodded and smiled, “May I draw it at least?”

Tikki tugged at his hoodie and he shook his head, “I need to register as an adventurer right away.”

She perked up, “Wait!” She stepped forward and leaned in, “You’re going to the adventure’s guild?” He stepped back but she continued to be persistent, “Can I come?”

“Now why would a little girl like you want to go?”

She puffed up her cheeks, “Hey! I bet we’re not even that far apart in age from each other! Just because I wear pigtails doesn’t mean I’m little!”

“I didn’t say anything about your pigtails.”

She blushed and pulled at them slightly, “Sorry. Everyone mentions them so it’s a habit.” She shook her head, “But, please! I want to look at the armor of the new adventurers! My lady-”

“MARINETTE!” The girl in front of him flinched. The two turned to see a blond girl strutting towards them. She was pulling another blonde behind her with a trail of servants. The girl next to him, presumably Marinette, hid behind him.

Her voice wavered, “Oh, hello Lady Bourgeois. Mister Agreste.”

The boy being pulled around laughed, “Sorry Marinette. I tried to hold her back.”

Lady Bourgeois stopped in front of him and seemed to size him up, “And who are you? Where are you from?”

If this was a noblewoman, to get anywhere with her he needed her to see him as an equal. Tikki continued to vibrate meaning the person of interest was extremely close. Right now, he needed to level with this girl. “I am the only blood son of the Wayne enterprises in a land called Gotham. I set out on my own to help my family. My name is Damian Wayne.” He bowed and silently thanked his father and mother for teaching him to speak as a nobleman. Business meetings and galas were incredible practice for this. The man seemed to buy it, but the lady seemed skeptical.

“I have never heard of Gotham.”

“Chloe, please. He seems genuine.”

“Adrikins-”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“I’m looking for the adventure’s guild. If you could, I would be grateful for any help.” He hated the helpless act but if these people were noble then they had money. He needed money.

“Gross, why go to a building filled with a bunch of sweaty filthy warriors?” She sighed, “But alright. Fine. Marinette!”

Marinette stood as stiff as a board, “Y-Yes?”

“You’ll be his guide.” Chloe snapped her fingers and a servant ran up to her with a small pouch in his hands. She pointed at him and the man presented the pouch with a bow, “As an offering between one noble to another. I hope to see you soon and out of those awful clothes. Honestly, my goddess would smite you down if you showed up at her temple like that.”

“I don’t know. I like them.” Adrien grinned and sent him a thumbs up, “Don’t you think, Marinette?”

As soon as he addressed her she jumped, “Y-Yeah! His awesome are clothes! I mean, his are awesome clothes! I mean-”

Damian closed his eyes and sighed, “Let’s go, Marinette.” She nodded and looked at him with complete gratitude. She mouthed a silent “thank you” and he nodded. This was easier for both of them. “Once I’ve registered I’ll find you. I’d be honored to learn more about this land from you all.”

Chloe seemed pleased by his manners and he turned away with a simple wave. Adrien sent him as salute and wink before turning back. Once they were fully departed, he relaxed a bit and sighed. “Marinette was it?”

She nodded, “Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“If you come with me to register and answer my questions I’ll let you measure, write, and draw every little detail of my uniform. Got it?”

She looked stunned at first, before grinning and nodding furiously. “Yes!”

“Then let’s go. I need to do this quickly.”

“Right!” Something told him this journey was going to be a long one.

[ofstarsandfireflies]

I didn’t have this movie.

Can you believe that?

I had to purchase this movie because I’d assumed I already had it.

In all fairness, Tony was a little overprotective of the kid.

He was his kid after all.

So when Spider-Man wants to do more than just help little old ladies cross the street or save cats in trees, Tony says no.

He doesn’t want Peter fighting in do or die situations where Tony himself has almost lost his life on more than one occasion.

He’d be worried sick.

And that is how their fight started.

That is how Peter takes the tracker out of his suit and goes off in search of a way to prove himself.

And that is how Peter is abducted, seemingly by a god damn Sorcerer.

Tony’s first thought is his ex husband Stephen, hoping he’d followed him and has Peter safe, already dialling Strange’s number for answers.

Of course, Strange doesn’t have any, but he’s more than willing to help Tony find his kid because Peter is his kid too.

Their marriage hadn’t lasted long, but long enough for them both to have signed the adoption papers and for Stephen to have become a permanent memory to Peter.

Tony has always admired that Stephen wanted to stay as part of their lives despite how hectic it could be, and he’s grateful that Stephen wants to help, but if he doesn’t know who this other magic user is, how are they going to find Peter?

Enraged by whoever has his child and what they could potentially do to him, Stephen and Tony head for the mission destination where Peter had been taken.

Meanwhile, Peter wakes up and meets other kids his age, and the self appointed leader of them, Harry Osborne.

Peter knows the name, it’s almost as famous as the Stark name, but for far worse reasons.

So when Harry sees he’s actually talking to Spider-Man, he decides to let the Peter in on a secret.

The two of them are going to escape, and they’re going to use the others to do so, but he needs Peter on his side as a bodyguard to ensure he escapes.

Peter is not on board for this plan at all.

He’ll only agree to it if they all escape.

Harry tries to tell him that they’ll only slow them down, that he’s the more important one here with his last name being Osborne, but Peter shuts him down again.

Everyone escapes.

No ifs, ands or buts about it.

Tony is not happy about the situation he has found himself in.

Not only has his son been kidnapped, but he’s searching for him with his ex husband, who is just as supportive as he was back then and twice as good looking since he’s kept the grey streaks Tony commented on last time they saw one another.

But he won’t let himself focus on that.

Peter was in danger and now was not the time to be getting hung up on feelings that he should have buried a long time ago.

Stephen isn’t having as much luck as Tony is.

He can’t focus on anything when Tony is bending down to look at something and showing him just how tight those jeans really are.

Stephen is walking over to him before he can stop himself, looking at the drag marks Tony is running his hand over, analysing the track with his glasses.

They were made by the exact same sneaker type and size Peter wore, and their trail leads away to the left, their path highlighted to him only.

Stephen watches him walk off without a word to him, sighing to himself as he follows.

The trail ends but there’s no tyre marks or anything else for him to follow.

It’s like he vanished into thin air.

And just like that, their only lead is gone, and Tony looks so small as his body starts to shrink in on itself.

Stephen steps up behind him, wrapping his arms around his chest to offer some comfort and Tony is immediately throwing himself away from him, yelling at him that now is not the time, that there’s something wrong with Stephen if he thinks now is the time for getting his freak on and Tony has to find HIS son, not their son, all while Stephen just stands there and takes Tony’s anger.

But when Tony decides to finish yelling and find Peter by himself, they both realise there are three villains surrounding them, all of whom have given Peter some trouble in the past.

One of them, Kraven the Hunter, steps forward and while the two Avengers think they’re in for a fight, the villain isn’t here for one at all.

In the most bizarre turn of events, these three men are trying to reform themselves for society so they can get back to their lives and their families.

If they help out two Avengers with finding a third, they’re bound to put in a good name for them, right?

And that is how they learn about a new villain calling himself Mysterio.

He shouldn’t even be allowed to call himself a villain because he refuses to get his hands dirty, giving out orders and using ‘magic’ tricks to fool people, in this case kids, to be lured away to be sold in the human trafficking ring he’s currently running.

Stephen has heard enough, and has decided Tony has heard enough too, quickly telling the three men they will talk to some people before making a portal so he and Tony can leave.

But Tony doesn’t want to leave.

What if they have Mysterio’s location?

What if they can help them find Peter?

The three men are so moved by Tony’s determination to find his son that the name completely goes over their head, one of them crying about how he’d do anything for his daughter, but Stephen believes they have all the information that they’re going to get out of them, and that bringing them along could cause issues down the road if they decide to turn on them.

When he tries to leave again, Tony grabs his hand a little too tightly in his gauntlet, making Stephen wrench it free and slicing it open.

Tony is apologising and trying to get the stubborn Sorcerer to let him have a look at the damage, blood dripping onto the ground when he finally gets him to show him the cut.

And that is when Kraven pounces, the other two men yelling at him to calm down as Tony and Stephen slip through the portal and close it.

There’s silence between them as Stephen struggles to bandage his hand up, Tony taking over and doing it for him like he used to back when...

Well, that was then.

He shouldn’t be thinking of those days gone.

Not with Peter still in danger.

Stephen can’t help but smile as he remembers those times as well, quickly fading when reality settles back in and Tony is moving away from him.

They have a name, one Tony already has an identity and an address for, and Stephen makes the portal to the apartment where this man has been living.

They find a cluttered mess of drones and other tech this guy has been using, but one thing stands out to both of them.

A helmet like an overturned fishbowl, linked up to a server where it’s apparently downloading something.

And when they both go to reach for it, it topples to the ground and shatters, triggering the servers to begin erasing themselves.

Tony gets Friday in there to prevent any evidence from being destroyed, but while she does stop the purge, she finds nothing that can help them find Peter.

So, the blame game begins again, Tony ultimately telling Stephen to leave so he can find his son in peace without any more delays.

Stephen isn’t going anywhere though. Tony might not want his help but he’s stuck with him whether he likes it or not.

Tony is about to retort when the room they’re in turns completely black, the whirring of the now alive drones the only sound around them.

Stephen makes his way over to the blue light on Tony’s chest so they can get out of here together.

Friday can’t see their way out, Tony’s armour isn’t responding and Stephen’s magic isn’t working, which means they have to work together to get out of here.

Tony accidentally bangs into one of the drones and it shocks him, but it also knocks into another one, the two short circuiting.

As they both come to the realisation as to what they need to do, the life or death situation they find themselves in becomes a game, racing to get out first and destroy as many of the drones as possible.

Stephen is the winner, emerging first and finally being able to make a portal for the two of them to get to safety.

But when he turns around, Tony isn’t behind him.

He’s still inside the building.

And a convoy of cars has just pulled up.

Racing back inside yelling for Tony to answer him, he sees that familiar blue glow shining dimly.

When he reaches for him, the shock from a drone makes him pull back for an second before he’s reaching again, pain surging through his body as he grabs Tony and hoists him off the floor, tracing his steps back to the exit as fast as he can while drones swarm around him.

Finally they get out, both falling through the portal he’d left open, Tony landing beside him as he manages to stay conscious enough to close the portal, a shadowy figure looming over them as the darkness takes him.

Harry’s escape plan once he gets everyone on board is a failure.

Only he had managed to get out and he didn’t get far before he was brought back.

It’s while he’s being dragged back that he hears about the two Avengers who have been following a trail to where he’s being kept.

Some think it’s for Spider-Man, some think it’s for him, but either way everyone is now on high alert.

When he’s thrown back into the shipping container with the rest of the kids, he smiles at them.

It wasn’t a failure.

He got what he wanted.

Stephen wakes up in a comfortable bed, Professor Xavier sitting at his side and telling him they’re safe.

When Stephen asks about Tony, Xavier nods to the window, Stephen looking out into a grassy courtyard where a group of kids are chasing him around.

And he can’t help his smile when Tony lets them catch him and drag him to the ground to pile on top of him.

Its then he hears Xavier telling him he can help him. While he can’t pinpoint an exact location, he does have an item belonging to Peter.

Tony notices Stephen off to the side with something in his hand.

Something he shouldn’t have.

It’s Peter’s jacket.

Tony instantly pulls the jacket close to him, shaking his head about the fact that only their kid would take a bright yellow blazer from school to a mission like he was on a field trip.

Stephen doesn’t know how to comfort him.

His eyes trail down the jacket and land on a brown hair caught on the back.

He picks it off.

This.

This is what will lead them straight to their son.

And it’s about this time that Harry comes back to Peter with his actual plan.

He will make sure everyone gets out and Peter will follow them and protect them all in their escape.

Peter doesn’t mind playing the decoy, but when he asks Harry how he’s going to accomplish this, Harry pulls something from the pocket of his jacket.

It’s a handful of small berries.

Poison.

Not enough to kill Peter, but enough to stop his heart for a short while.

Peter runs the calculations in his head and comes to the conclusion that this amount is perfect for up to two minutes, so Harry better use that time wisely.

Harry promises and shakes his hand goodbye.

Then he alerts their guards, and Peter chews down the berries.

It is utter chaos when Stephen and Tony finally get to the shipping yard where Peter is being held.

There’s men everywhere firing at them, Stephen taking care of most of them as Tony wrenches open the cargo bin’s door.

The gunfire.

The magical blasts.

Tony’s heartbeat in his ears.

Everything ceases when he sees Peter laying on the floor of the old container and there is no register of a heartbeat on his display.

He feels something trying to pull him away but he doesn’t want to leave.

That’s his son, he can’t leave him here.

A familiar voice, so distant, is telling him it’s too dangerous to stay, that they’ll come back for him, and Tony is screaming, crying, fighting to get to his son as he’s pulled away through a portal and held against the chest of the man he once loved.

The man who had been with him the day Peter had become part of their family.

The man who’d wanted to remain a part of his life, despite their marriage falling through.

Tony pulls away, numb all over, and manages to catch the rest of what Stephen is saying.

He saying he’s sorry.

And Tony just turns around and walks away from him.

He has nothing to be sorry about.

It was Tony’s fault this had happened, not his.

Peter is startled back to consciousness by his name being called.

It was Tony calling him.

He can hear Stephen’s voice too, but by the time he gets to the steel door, the portal he knew to be on the other side of it is already closing, and he can’t give away his position when the others still need his help.

Tony has stopped crying.

He’s stopped fighting Stephen off.

He was too late to save his...their son.

And now, with nothing left to fight for, he just wants to go home.

It’s not the ending Stephen had hoped for.

He wanted them to reunite as a family and maybe get back to how things used to be between him and Tony, because as much as neither want to admit it, they’ve fallen for the other all over again.

And while Stephen still wants to try tell him that being with Tony these last few days have made him remember all the good times they had, all the love he still has for him and how he doesn’t want to forget that, Tony does want to forget.

So he leaves Tony at the X-Mansion to rest while he goes back and utterly destroys what is left of the shipping yard, killing everyone he comes into contact with while fighting his way to where he’d seen Peter’s body.

And the last opponent standing in his way is this man who calls himself Mysterio.

All Stephen wants is Peter.

He’ll let the guy go, there doesn’t have to be battle and Quinten doesn’t have to die.

But this guy sees no way he can lose.

He has illusions on his side, even against the Sorcerer’s magic and with no field blocking his powers, he can still win.

And he probably would have if he hadn’t anticipated just how pissed the Sorcerer Supreme was that his chance for a happy ending had been ruined by this scum.

So when Peter starts hearing screams coming from behind him, he does a quick head count, making sure no one got left behind.

And when they start to get louder and longer, he can’t take it anymore.

He needs to go see who’s in trouble.

They might need his help.

Telling this to Harry gets him a nod and a promise that they’ll be alright now, and Peter goes back to where they’d been held, checking the bodies for any survivors as he follows the cries for help.

And then they stop.

And Stephen is staring at him, his shaking hands covered in blood.

Peter’s alive.

Peter’s alive and Tony doesn’t know.

Tony is heading to the blackbird to be taken home seeming how Stephen up and left him here.

And he’s half way up the ramp when he hears something that makes him stop.

That almost sounded like Peter.

He turns in hope, sees his son running toward him and throws himself off the ramp to get to Peter as fast as possible, recognising Stephen is there beside him as well as he grabs them both in the tightest hug he can manage without killing them.

He doesn’t want to know how Peter is here now.

He doesn’t need to know what Stephen did to achieve this.

All he knows is that he has his son again.

His alive son.

Stephen wraps his arms around him.

There may be a chance for them to be a family again after all.

They can take it slowly.

No need to rush anything.

It’s not like anyone wants revenge on him for what he did.

Quotes

“Clearly you’re not ready and you’re not coming back until you are. You think you can do these things but you just can’t, Nemo!”

“I hate you.”

Tony and Peter’s fight

“We’re all gonna escape.”

“Gil, please, not another one of your escape plans.”

“Sorry but they, they just, they never really work.”

“Yeah, why should this be any different?”

“Coz we got him!”

Harry Osborne talking up Spider-Man

“So we’re cheating death now. That’s what we’re doing. But we’re having fun at the same time. I can do this. Just be careful.”

“Yeah, careful I don’t make you cry when I win!”

“Oh, I don’t think so!”

“Give it up, old man! You can’t fight evolution, I was built for speed!”

“The question is Dory, are you hungry?”

“Hungry?”

“Yeah! Cause you’re about to eat my bubbles! The clownfish is the winner! We did it! Look at us! Dory?...oh no...”

Stephen realising Tony got left behind

“It’s be alright. It’ll be ok.”

“No. No it won’t.”

“Sure it will, you’ll see.”

“No. I promised him I wouldn’t let anything happen to him.”

“Huh. That’s a funny thing to promise.”

“What?”

“Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.”

Stephen and Tony connecting

“It’s there, I know it is because when I look at you, I can feel it. And when I look at you I’m...I’m whole. Please. I don’t want that to go away. I don’t want to forget.”

“I’m sorry Dory, but I do.”

Stephen trying to keep Tony in his life.

Anything part 1

Tony enlists the help of Doctor Strange when Peter is snatched by a kidnapping ring of human traffickers.

January, February

Missed a Day? Catch up here!

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5

Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10

Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15

Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19

[misskittysmagicportal]

When Vicky Needed Honey

(An OC Kiss Week collaboration between @super-unpredictable98 and @misskittysmagicportal. No warnings, just mother/daughter love. Moonwalkers/The Umbrella Academy AU)

I woke up with that weird feeling again. I looked over at Klaus, still pretty much asleep, and grunted. On my way to the bathroom I prayed and prayed, but no luck. My period was nowhere to be found. A couple of days, I can understand, an entire week is a bit more worrying.

The last few days I've been feeling kinda sick, but it could be stress. I've been feeling kinda tired, understandable after two apocalypses. I've been feeling a little dizzy, which could easily be from the time travel... But my period wouldn't come, so that was starting to freak me out.

"Hey, Vanya... Would you buy a pregnancy test for me?" I rehearsed in front of the mirror. "No, no, I should ask Allison. She has a daughter, she'd understand, right?"

I nearly jumped when Klaus shifted in his sleep, I hoped with all my might he didn't hear what I just said. I sat on the edge of the tub and let my head roll back. How the fuck did we let that happen? We always wear a condom!

Well, technically a condom has 98% of effectiveness, according to the box, which I was reading as I thought about it. That means... 2 out of 100 women will get pregnant. With the amount of sex we have, it wouldn't be surprising that I could become part of this 2%. Damn it, Klaus! Why do you have to be so charming? Blame it on three decades of suppressed desire I guess.

I had to talk to someone, someone who wouldn't judge me, someone I could trust. There was only one person I could think of, so I went back into the room and as silently as possible, I slid the black briefcase from under our bed. The date was already set, so all I had to do was open it.

I felt that familiar pull of time travel, that endless rope that dragged me across the universe, which seemed to take forever, even though it was less than a second. As soon as I landed, I regretted it, my stomach did not like the disturbance and I felt like I was about to throw up.

"Vicky? Are you ok?" I felt a gentle hand on my back and took a few deep breaths before being able to turn back.

"Honey! Thank fucking God you're here! I need to talk to you."

"Is it Klaus? It's Klaus. Oh my god, tell me he's alright"

"Alright, I think we should sit down for this one..."

Honey nodded with a smile and took my hand as we made our way to the couch. I chewed on my bottom lip for a little while, thinking of the best way to say it, but I didn't wanna admit it:

"So, I'm gonna say it and I need you to listen because it's very complex," I started. "I think I'm pregnant, and I feel horrible because I don't want to be. Not that I don't want any kids, I do, in the future. The problem is that we just came out of the second apocalypse, everything is a mess, my family is all over the place. I love Klaus more than anything, so I don't wanna throw this onto him, you know? He's been through so much already!"

"Sweetie..."

"And I'm terrified of not being a good mother, the only mother I ever had was a robot. I love her to bits, but what if all I can give my child is robot-love? I don't even know what it feels like, my birth mom clearly didn't love me, she chose to give me away for money, I understand she wasn't expecting to get pregnant out of the blue, but... I don't understand why she couldn't love me. I feel so selfish and so stupid for letting this happen, and I keep thinking about my biological mom, I'm freaking out here," I started sobbing. "You're the only person I can talk to."

**

Honey began to live for the sound of her “kids” popping by the apartment. She brought the books home with her more often in case Klaus would come by to learn more about himself. Or Luther who really just wanted the tiny woman to hold him the way a robot never could. And Diego who well, was always hitting on her. Allison and Vicky and Vanya helped her feel not so alone.

Yeah, they were her children. They were mostly older than Honey. The discarded. The outcast. Who suffered abuse. They were the bought and sold to a billionaire. They were a magical pregnancy and 43 terrified women, one she would become 15 years from now. Thank God she already knew what one of those felt like.

Honey was checking on Sugar and Sunny as they napped. The large crow with his beak buried in his ebony feathers kept one large yellow eye on them from above. Sunny was enamored with the corvid. Klaus, despite being 35 years older than himself, was deeply jealous.

It was from their room, after hearing a familiar VOIP sound in the living room, that Honey just felt in her body something was wrong. There was an anxiety emanating from Vicky whose back was to her.

“Vicky? Are you ok?” Honey gently touched the woman. She wanted to hug her, but opted for minor affection.

Vicky's expression in response worried Honey. “Is it Klaus? It's Klaus. Oh my god, tell me he's alright.” Her lip started to tremble. For a clone of Leon, Klaus was infused with his mother.

Half an hour later, Honey could only stare slack-jawed over Vicky's guts being spilled all over the couch. So to speak.

Honey took Vicky’s hand and did what her mom would do. What she and Julia found themselves doing with their children. Whether they were full grown men or toddlers. Honey kissed Vicky's hand several times and held it over her heart.

“First of all, I can't speak for your birth mother or the others. I know Klaus told me it was a spontaneous pregnancy. Like BAM! We're suddenly giving birth. For me, even being 45,” Honey shivered dramatically, “I would rather kill Reginald and take you all. But whatever the other women did. That's on them.

“But! If anyone knows about an unexpected pregnancy, it's me. She's asleep in the other room with her brother. I think I realized I was knocked up, I just ignored it until Leon mentioned something about my body being new. We NEVER used protection. Pills in the sixties were for married women only. The fact that we had sex for over a year before anything happened is a freaking miracle.

I took two tests in the flat. Then at the clinic. Just a few weeks before, abortion became legal AND funded by the NHS. I told no one, went and made that woman tell me every single step of the process. I asked how easy the adoption process in the UK is. I wasn't keeping it no matter what.”

Now Honey took both of Vicky’s hands, “You have so many readily available options.” She kissed them both again, “But please just let Klaus know. It's YOUR choice. YOURS. Ultimately, I changed my mind. I had her on my own. Pregnancy, birth, her first six months. I wasn't even on the same continent as Leon. But if my baby would have half his looks, and his way of loving, and even an OUNCE of his heart, Leon deserved to be a dad. I WANTED to have his baby. I don't regret my decision. I don't want to regret yours either. We all love you.”

Honey kissed Vicky's forehead, “I mean I'm your mom now.”

**

I would've started crying if I wasn't already, it felt so good to finally have someone to hold my hand. I can only imagine dad's reaction if I told him I was pregnant with Klaus' baby... It was awesome to not be judged for once.

"I wanna tell him, I'm just scared... If I really am pregnant, I wanna keep it, but what if he doesn't like it? What if he doesn't wanna be a dad?"

My desperate rambling was interrupted by a blue surge of energy right in the middle of the room, that could only mean one thing... Klaus and Five fell from it with a loud thud.

I had to cover my mouth not to scream, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest, but Honey seemed pleased with the new visitors.

"Jesus Vicky... I woke up and you were gone, I was worried!" Klaus squeezed me in a tight hug.

"I told you she was fine, Victoria can handle herself," Five rolled his eyes. "It's not like she can get hurt."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disappear."

Klaus moved to give Honey a hug as well, she kissed his forehead and urged him to sit down between us.

"I know this face, Scnucki..." Klaus placed his hand on my cheek. "What's wrong?"

I looked over at Honey and she gave me a reassuring nod. With a sigh, I took Klaus' hand, tracing the 'hello' with the tip of my finger.

"Klausie," I tried to muster the courage to say it. "I know the timing might not be the best, things are a little crazy right now, but I think I might be..."

"Might be...?" He stared at me nervously.

"Pregnant."

Klaus' mouth dropped and he widened his eyes. Shit! Shit! He hates it, he wasn't happy. He was gonna leave me right there and then.

"But we always..."

"I know, but apparently condoms are only 98% effective."

"You two really abuse your luck," Five mused.

"Timing isn't great, but if you want to keep it, I'm with you. It's our baby," a smile tugged at Klaus' lips. "And I love you, so..."

"Actually," I got up as fast as I could. "I love you too, but I'm not pregnant. If you guys will excuse me, I gotta go to the toilet, like right now!"

**

Honey watched as Vicky ran off to the bathroom. She was left with a bewildered Klaus, slack jawed over everything that quickly took place. She could only snort as Leon popped up from the same corner Vicky had just flown around. Mouth agape identical to his clone.

“Alright love,” Leon kissed her on the cheek. “Never told me the kids were coming ‘round for a visit.” He eyed up Five, still uncertain of him.

Klaus dramatically planted a fist on his hip, “Im thirty-six.”

“Too right. What's going on? Is Vicky ok she looked barmy.”

“Well we were almost grandparents.”

“GRANDPARENTS?! I'm thirty! Bloody hell I can't keep track of the ten we have now. Can't handle a baby, mate. Not coming from you. No offense.”

“All of it taken,” Klaus quipped.

“Well we don't need to worry about it. Pretty sure Vicky just overwhelmingly got her period. Better luck next time!”

Every single person in the room nearly knocked Honey flat with a loud in unison “NEXT TIME?”

She wouldn't make that mistake again.