#the less you know someone the more serious it is

[ailelie]

The Wolf now is Concerned. He isn't invested. He refuses to be invested in humans. Humans are food, not friends.

And yet. This utter sad sack needs help and Hairy McLumberjack is too busy fussing around with trees to do more than look in and tut occasionally.

And, it isn't like the Wolf can roam much. He had a serious surgery to get Steven out of his stomach. He needs recovery time.

It only makes sense that he recovers at Steve's. It's all Steve's fault anyway, if you think about it.

Steve is still mourning his relationship with Denise and dealing with his recent near-death experience. The latter would be easier if the cause of said-near-death experience hadn't decided to take over Steve's bed.

The Wolf is a demanding and infuriating roommate, but the more time they spend on bickering, the less time Steve has to feel sorry for himself. He ends up developing a new passion for cooking out of pure spite--he will prove to the Wolf that there are many better options for eating than 'raw human.'

"So raw my heart was literally still beating, Wolf."

"The better to warm my stomach, Steve."

It is when Little Red is visiting again, more than a week after the Wolf last felt a twinge of pain in his torso, that everything changes again.

"Mama said to invite you to dinner, Uncle Steve," Little Red says. "You can come, too, Uncle Wolf."

Steve and the Wolf meet each other's horrified gaze as they both realize the domestic comfort they've found and created in each other.

That night, long after Little Red has returned home, the Wolf says he's leaving and he goes.

For the first time in weeks, Steve doesn't have to share his bed.

(After the first few nights when the Wolf had claimed his bed, Steve decided he was not going to be forced to the couch again. They each dared the other to leave the bed if they were 'too uncomfortable' to share. Neither left. Neither ever admitted, in the weeks that followed, how nice it was to have someone else there.)

He can't sleep.

In the morning, he eats some berries for breakfast. Lunch is a leftover soup. Dinner is more of the same.

Cooking is less fun on his own, less fun when he doesn't have the Wolf stealing his ingredients and making sly comments from the side.

Meanwhile, the Wolf is in the forest and utterly refusing to admit that his rabbit is a bit gamey, that its flesh would be better shredded with a spicy sauce and served over whipped potatoes. He is a Wolf. He doesn't need cooked food. He doesn't want it.

The flesh and blood are warm in his mouth, but they do not heat his belly like one of Steve's stews. The forest is so unreasonably cold.

And lonely.

"He tried to eat me, Laura," Steve complains to his sister, Little Red's mother.

"From what I understand, he successfully ate you. That lumberjack cut you free, no?"

"The lumberjack! Now, he would make sense. He's handsome, right? Saved my life even. If I had to-- why couldn't I have--" the words won't come out. Steve's never been attracted to anyone male before.

Until the Wolf.

His face flushes bright red and his sister sighs. "You could do worse than that Wolf, Steve."

He buries his face in his hands.

The Wolf goes by the cabin when he knows Steve will be in town, attending the dinner Little Red had invited them to, the dinner that ruined everything.

The ice box has no ice and the plants inside are limp and shriveled. A stew pot, crusted with the dried remnants of broth, sits on the stove. Another pot is half-full with congealed oatmeal.

The Wolf refuses to feel guilty. He is a wild creature. He is not meant to live within four walls like some domesticated dog.

He washes the pots and tosses the ruined vegetables and herbs. It is during this last task that he runs into the lumberjack.

"Glad to see you're back" the Lumberjack says. "He's been missing you."

I'm not back, the Wolf wants to snarl, and, What business is it of yours? Instead, he says, "I don't belong here."

The lumberjack shrugs. "Well, I don't know about that. I think we belong wherever we love and are loved."

"So, what, you're having a love affair with a hundred trees? Do you chop them down after you break-up?" It isn't his best line, but the lumberjack laughs anyway.

"My love was turned into a tree and hidden in this wood. Someday I will find and free him from his curse. Until then, my job gives me more than enough time to search."

"So you're saying it could be worse," the Wolf says. "I could be in love with a tree."

The lumberjack's smile broadens and he nods. "Instead you're only in love with a man."

It is only then that the Wolf realizes what he'd said. The truth of it warms him inside out. "I'm going to go back inside."

He doesn't say he's going to stay. That's what he means anyways.

The next morning, carrying a basket of leftovers, Steve returns to his cabin. He is dreading being alone again, but he cannot live in his sister's house.

He wants the Wolf. He doesn't understand how or why the Wolf has become so important to him, but maybe that doesn't matter. He just wants that strange and frustrating beast back in his kitchen, his bedroom, his life.

He has decided to track down the Wolf just as he's opening his cabin door.

And the Wolf is there.

Glass shatters as the basket falls from his hand. The Wolf's coat is warm and musky under his hands and cheek. His snout presses cool against Steve's neck. His claws prick lightly along his back. Steve can barely think for the utter relief flooding through him.

"I'm back," the Wolf says, unnecessarily. He is holding Steve as tightly as Steve is holding him.

Neither can quite feel embarrassed by their reactions to one another given the other is reacting quite the same.

"Good," Steve says. "Stay."

"Wild creatures don't belong indoors," the Wolf warns. He wants to stay, but some fear lingers. He can only promise now, not forever.

Steve, though, is unconcerned. He steps back, looking his Wolf in the eye. He lifts a hand to his Wolf's maw and traces a thumb along the seam of his mouth, the same mouth and sharp teeth that had once devoured him. "Since when," he asks, "have you cared about arbitrary rules?"

The Wolf flicks his tongue against Steve's thumb. "Since when, indeed."

inspiration struck in a really, really weird way

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 5

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

“Where’s Az?��� Mor asked as Nesta and Cassian entered the dining room at the River House.

“Busy,” Cassian said with a shrug, as he pulled out the chair for his mate, greeting the rest of their family with a smile. 

Mor cocked her head, a small frown appearing on her face. "Busy?" she repeated, a note of curiosity in her voice. "What's he up to?"

Busy. That had been Azriel’s answer to nearly everything after Koshei. Busy.

Even quieter than usual. Keeping away from all of them…and Cassian still heard that one sentence echo in his head. Better me than you. Like somehow Cassians life was worth more than Azriel’s.

Azriel was just being noble and self-sacrificing as usual, right? Cassian knew that his brother didn't really think that way, didn't really believe that his life was worth less than anyone else's. But still, the words haunted him. He couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, somewhere, he had let Azriel down. That he hadn't been there when his brother had needed him the most.

Maybe he should have tried to talk to him...when it all went down… but then he hadn't realised what exactly was even going on, until Nesta had flatly laid it out for him one evening. Azriel had gotten over Mor only to fall in love with Elain...and that hadn't ended in his favour either.

Cassian grimaced just thinking about it. Azriel deserved to be happy. Azriel deserved a mate that loved him, a female that fucking adored him…and instead his brother had fallen not just for one, but two unavailable females. 

And Azriel hadn’t complained. Not once. He had never let it show.

He always kept his emotions hidden under that stoic mask of his, like he was afraid of letting anyone see how much he was hurting. Cassian knew that Azriel would never ask for help, that he would never admit that he needed someone to talk to. But that didn't mean that he didn't need it. 

Cassian just wished that he could find a way to get Azriel to open up, to let him in…that wouldn’t involve beating him to a bloody pulp. 

Azriel acted like everything was fine. Azriel acted like he didn't care. Cassian knew that it was a mask, knew that it wasn't the truth...but Azriel liked to pretend it was...and maybe it was better to let him pretend. 

It wasn't like he was hurting anybody with it, right? He was doing his work just as well as he always did...and if he wanted to spend his free time reading Sellyn Drake books, maybe they should just let him do that…maybe it made him feel better. 

"Maybe he's seeing his secret girlfriend," Cassian drawled.

Mor snorted at that suggestion. "Please," she said with a roll of her eyes. "As if Azriel would ever have time for a girlfriend, let alone a secret one."

"You would be surprised," Cassian muttered under his breath. Apparently Azriel had time for reading Sellyn Drake novels while locked into his room, after all. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mor wondered. "He has been...distant lately," she said with a pout.

Cassian could only stare at her. Mor couldn't be serious right now, could she?

Of course, Azriel was distant to her. Mor had fucking broken his heart and trampled on it to top it off. And Cassian had helped her with through the years. He probably owed Azriel an apology for that as well.

And still, Azriel hadn’t complained. Azriel hadn’t called them out. Azriel had taken it silently. Had even congratulated Mor when her Mating Bond with Emerie had snapped. Had been painfully polite, making painfully sure that he didn’t cross any lines, didn’t make Emerie uncomfortable in any way. 

"Just leave him be," Cassian said with a shrug. "He's reading Sellyn Drake novels, he'll be fine,” he waved her off. 

Rhys nearly spit his wine over the table and instead started coughing violently. "Azriel is reading Sellyn Drake novels?!" he asked Cassian with an incredious stare.

"Apparently he has trust in Nesta's taste of literature," Cassian answered easily.

Mor raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Sellyn Drake novels?" she repeated, eyeing Cassian like he had gone mad. "Since when does Azriel read those kinds of books? He's not exactly the...romantic type."

Or maybe there just never had been a single person that had appreciated that side of his brother. Who knew what Azriel actually was into. 

Elain and Mor weren’t similar in the slightest after all. 

Cassian shrugged. "Maybe he's expanding his horizons," he said with a grin. "Or maybe he just wants to see what the fuss is all about. After all, Sellyn Drake is...surprisingly good. Or so I've heard, anyway." He gave a sidelong glance to Nesta, who simply rolled her eyes at him.

Still, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rhys play absentmindedly with the stem of the wine glass. There was something there...between Rhys and Azriel that Cassian couldn't quite put his finger on. Some kind of tension...some kind of...something.

But lately, it had seemed like that tension had only been getting worse. Like they were both holding something back, like they were both waiting for the other shoe to drop. Cassian couldn't help wondering what would happen when that tension finally snapped.

***

"Winnowing or flying?" Azriel asked Sky as they stepped out into the icy early winter air.

"I...I can't...fly?" Sky answered haltingly, looking at him with these devastating blue eyes. They were beautiful. Not a light blue, not a teal, not bordering on violet…just beautiful near cobalt blue. She probably would match his siphons, he reflected weakly. 

"I'll fly, I'll carry you," he gave back with a chuckle. She stared at him like he was insane, her cheeks reddening.

"I...I...you...can...can't carry me. I am too...heavy," she mumbled. Now it was his turn to stare at her.

Azriel couldn't help but scoff at that. "Too heavy?" he repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm an Illyrian warrior,” he told her drily. “I could carry a full-grown male into battle if I had to,and I have dragged full-grown males off the battlefield…I can carry you.” 

Azriel couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Was she...was she seriously trying to tell him that she was too heavy for him to carry? She just so reached the middle of his chest! She definitely wasn't thin...her body was covered with soft flesh and lush curves, every inch of it soft and inviting...but even if she weighed twice her weight, he would easily be able to carry her. She would probably weigh next to nothing to him.

And yet, he could sense the insecurity in her voice, the way she didn't quite believe that he could carry her.

He stepped closer to her, placing his hand gently under her chin and tilting her head up so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "You are beautiful," he said softly, his voice full of warmth and sincerity. "And I don't care how much you weigh, I can carry you. I want to carry you. Because you are mine and I will always protect you, no matter what."

Her breath hitched at that, and he could see the warmth spreading through her cheeks as her heart began to race. She looked up at him with those stunning blue eyes of hers, her lips parted slightly in surprise and wonder. "You...you really mean that?" she whispered, her voice soft and shaky. "You...you don't mind how big I am?"

Azriel chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, sweetheart, I don't mind," he said gently. "I think you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. And if I have to carry you to prove it, then that is what I will do." And without another word, he scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest as easily.

She squeaked as they shot up in the sky and then she laughed, the sound bright and beautiful

They soared through the sky together, the wind blowing through their hair and clothes as they flew. The City of Starlight sprawled out beneath them, a beautiful tapestry of color and light. Azriel held her close, feeling the warmth of her body against his, the sound of her heartbeat pulsing in rhythm with his own. He knew that he could never tire of this feeling, of having her in his arms like this.

Sky looked up at him with a smile, her eyes shining with happiness and excitement. "I love this," she breathed.

How very fitting it was for the female that called herself Sky to love flying.

"Good," Azriel said softly, his voice full of warmth. "Because we can do this anytime you want, sweetheart."

They soared higher and higher, until the city below them was nothing but a sparkling sea of lights. Azriel was in his element up here, his wings powerful and graceful as they sliced through the air. He could feel the wind whipping through his hair, the cold night air stinging his skin. But he didn't mind, not with her in his arms. In fact, he felt more alive than he had in months. Years, even.

He flew a loping circle over Velaris, towards the Lake House the shadows had purchased and he thanked them mentally for their foresight. He couldn't very well bring Sky home to the House of Wind...but here...he could take her. It was private and safe...and if the expression of her face was anything to go by, she loved it.

He angled his body towards the Lake House, gliding towards it with expert precision. As they approached, Azriel saw the soft glow of the lights in the windows, the gentle sway of the curtains in the breeze. The lake glittered in the moonlight, the surface of the water undisturbed and serene. It was the perfect place to bring her, a place that he felt she would love just as much as he did.

"You live here?" she wondered, wonder in her voice as she took in the sight.

Azriel felt a warm swell of pride in his chest as he landed smoothly on the deck of the house. "Yes," he said simply, his eyes fixed on her face, watching as she marveled at the house. "I wanted a private place," he admitted. "Somewhere quiet and peaceful, where I could escape from the chaos of my life for a little while.I haven't been there long though, it’s still a work in progress…" he warned her. More like 2 hours before he had met her. "But I love it."

He set her down gently, his hands lingering on her waist for a moment before he stepped back. "Come on," he said softly, holding out his hand to her. "Let me show you inside."

The shadows skittered inside as soon as he opened the door, like a bunch of little busybodies, rightening the curtains there, fluffing pillows on the couch...It seemed to amuse Sky though. "You must ne...never have to deal with a mes...messy kitchen," she teased him

Azriel chuckled at that. "No, the shadows don't like when things are out of place,”  he admitted.

It wasn't a lie. But then he didn't like it either. 

Like a moth pulled to the flame, Sky was pulled towards his bookcases, fingertips tripping over the spines as she hungrily read the titles.

Azriel suddenly hoped that the shadows had put something other than Sellyn Drake novels in the bookcase, because otherwise he was going to look like a fucking stalker.

He watched with a mix of amusement and apprehension as she examined the bookshelves, his heart pounding in his chest. *Please,* he silently pleaded to the shadows, *please tell me you didn't leave those Sellyn Drake novels on the shelf.* Because if she saw those, it would be disastrous.

The shadows seemed weirdly frozen in place.

"You read Sel...Sellyn Drake?" Sky asked him, sounding delighted and shocked at the same time.

Azriel groaned inwardly, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. "I...yes, I do," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I...There is...I...I need to tell you something."

"Te...Tell me som...something?" Sky asked, turning towards him, these big beautiful eyes staring at him.

"I...It wasn't a coincidence that I was in that bar tonight," he told her, watching as she stared at him. "The shadows told me to go."

"The...The shad...shadows?" she asked him, looking utterly shocked.

"I...I told them...a few weeks ago...to...find me somebody that....that I could love...somebody that I could make happy. A wife," Azriel admitted. "You were the one they picked."

She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly. Azriel braced himself for her reaction, not sure what to expect. Would she be angry? Scandalized? Horrified that he had sent his shadows to find him a wife?

She stared at him wide-eyed. "You...You as…asked yo…your sha..shadows to fi…find you a wi…wife?!" she asked him, repeating his words back at him.

He could feel his cheeks reddening but nodded nonetheless. "...are you angry?" he asked her weakly.

Sky stared at him for a moment, but then she shook her head. "No, No...no, I'm not," she repeated again, her voice trembling slightly. "I'm...I'm flat…flattered, actually...Though...though I am cu..curious what it…what it was about me that...made…made them pick me," she admitted.

For the first time in his life, his shadows talked to somebody other than Azriel. *We thought you would treat Master like you treat your cat,* the shadows told her brightly.

She blinked at the bunch of shadows that had gathered in front of her.

"You...You...You want me to...treat Az..Azriel like...like a cat?" she asked them incrediously.

Azriel spluttered, his cheeks burning with mortification. He hadn't expected the shadows to be so blunt, and the idea of her treating him like a cat was...well, it was absurd, to say the least. He wanted her to be his mate, his equal, not to treat him as if he were some kind of pet.

"No, no," he quickly interjected, trying to salvage the situation. "They...they don't mean it like that, Sky. The shadows have their own...unique way of looking at things. Please just...just forget they ever said that."

Sky fixed him with a look. "What do you mean?" she asked the shadows.

*You love your cat,* the shadows said quickly. *You buy him ridiculous overpriced Tuna, and you let him sleep in your bed and you scratch him behind the ears. You even knitted him a sweater!*

Azriel winced, feeling his embarrassment and mortification rising even further. 

"That...thats not important," he mumbled, feeling like he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting from embarrassment. "The shadows...they have a habit of exaggerating things. Just...please, don't take them too seriously. I'm not expecting you to treat me like a cat, I swear."

Sky looked at him, then at the Shadows, then at Azriel again. She seemed to be lost in thought, clearly trying to decipher what the shadows meant.

"You..You want your mas…master to be tre…treated...well?" Sky finally asked the shadows, her tone of voice serious. "You pick…picked me because I...be..because I was nice to my cat?" she asked them curiously.

*You are so kind,* the shadows said softly. And so pretty. And we knew you would treat Master well and wouldn't judge him.*

Sky blushed at the compliment.

Azriel felt a sense of relief wash over him as the conversation shifted away from the whole "cat" thing. He had to admit, the shadows were right. Sky had been nothing but kind and considerate towards him since they met, and he was grateful for that. Still, he couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed by the whole situation.

"Look...I apologize for the shadows' behavior," he said to Sky, his voice soft. "They can be a bit...blunt, sometimes."

"I…I un…understand where they are com…coming from," she said nearly thoughtfully. "They just...want to see you hap…happy?" she said carefully and he nodded.

"Yes."

"Though they…they don't seem to have much of a sense of boun…boundaries," Sky said with a laugh. "You hid in my apartment didn't you?" she asked the shadows.

Azriel cringed as the shadows seemed to twirl in agreement. He had hoped that particular detail would have gone unnoticed, but he should have known better. Sky was too observant for her own good.

"Yes, they did," he admitted reluctantly. "I'm sorry about that. They...they have a tendency to go where they please."

Sky still mustered the shadows that were twitching in front of her

"I…I prom…promise to t…treat your ma…master well." Sky said seriously. "He's my mate."

Azriel felt his heart skip a beat at her words. The sound of that word coming from her lips made his knees weak.

He stepped forward, closing the distance between them and taking her hands in his. "And I promise to treat you well too," he swore fervently. 

"And I'll…I’ll even knit him a swea…sweater," Sky continued, looking at the shadows.. "I…I don't know if he likes Tu…tuna, but I'll…buy him some… sweets."

He couldn’t help but laugh at her words, feeling a surge of affection for her that was almost overwhelming. "Sky," he said softly, looking into her eyes. "You don't have to do any of that for me. Just being with you is more than I could ever ask for.But...if you are willing to knit me a sweater, I surely won't say no to it," he added with a laugh. "And maybe you could try scratching me behind the ears too, just in case the shadows are right."

He meant it as a joke, but there was a part of him that was secretly delighted by the idea of her spoiling and doting on him. Maybe, just maybe, the shadows were onto something after all.

"And...who knows, maybe I'll develop a taste for Tuna," he added, grinning playfully. "As long as it's the fancy kind, that is."

He kissed her forehead gently, holding her close for a moment longer before finally pulling away. "But Sky…you don’t have to do all of that…Just being with you is enough."

She smiled up at him, beautiful and blinding and he couldn't help but kiss her.

As his lips met hers, Azriel felt a wave of warmth and tenderness wash over him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he deepened the kiss. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the shadows, not the world outside, nothing but her.

He broke the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against hers as he caught his breath. 

"You…You can absolutely sleep in my bed with me," she whispered. "Or I'll sleep in yours," she offered, a grin on her face... and that was all he needed to hear, as he picked her up again.

[p0orbaby]

It’s Called Free Fall

summary: therapy makes you realise a lot of things

warnings: none

a/n: there’s not actually any alexia in this, but she is mentioned

word count: 2.7k

-

The therapist’s office feels like it’s been curated for someone far more refined than you—someone who actually takes their therapy seriously, rather than as an ironic lifestyle choice. The walls are a pale, flat grey that veers perilously close to lifeless, and there’s this overwhelming sense of emptiness, like everything here exists for display rather than use. The chairs, two narrow-backed leather things angled just slightly towards each other, appear less like furniture and more like sculptures. You imagine some recent graduate from a New York art school positioned them just so, meticulously arranging each one to make sure it induced the precise mix of discomfort and luxury.

The table between you and Dr. Vargas is another matter entirely—a sleek slab of polished mahogany, thick enough that you could lean your entire weight on it without even a squeak of protest. Its surface is bare except for a single leather-bound notebook, a fountain pen and a ceramic dish, all aligned to a degree that feels almost militaristic. There��s not a single loose thread in the rug, not a fingerprint on the glass of the one window facing out onto a garden view that’s suspiciously verdant for the middle of winter.

Even the fern, perched in the corner like it’s waiting for its close-up, seems too green, too lush. It’s ridiculous, but it’s all part of the aesthetic, this carefully curated minimalism, the kind of cultivated restraint that says, “We don’t need embellishments. We’re here for the truth.” You’re here, supposedly, for honesty and revelation. But to you, it all feels a bit too staged, like a hotel that boasts a “homely charm” but is actually cold and sterile beneath the surface. You suspect Dr. Vargas might even mist the plant herself in some sacred ritual of maintenance, a sort of last-minute grounding exercise to fill the silence between clients.

You settle back in the chair, draping one leg over the other, and make a mental note to mention it next time you’re in some magazine interview. “Austere,” you’d say, “but in a chic way. I once caught my therapist hand-polishing the leaves of a houseplant.” You let yourself savour the image for a moment, glancing at the fern, which seems to return your gaze with silent judgement.

Dr. Vargas has her pen poised in that infuriatingly neutral way, a half-smile that somehow manages to be both welcoming and utterly unreadable. She’s mastered this look; the expression that says, I’m here for you while also suggesting she’s already a step ahead, already written your entire profile out in her head, neatly categorised into sub-headings like “Avoidant Tendencies” and “Control Issues.”

You begin with a sigh, throwing a glance at the ceiling in mock contemplation. “I’ve been thinking about another place. A chalet, maybe. Something in the mountains this time.” You pause, letting the idea sit, feigning like it’s just occurred to you. “Somewhere remote, where people can’t just… get to me”

You’re fully aware that she sees right through it. This isn’t her first rodeo; you’re sure she’s dealt with hundreds like you before, masters of diversion who fill sessions with banalities rather than facing anything real. But Dr. Vargas, in all her maddening professionalism, gives nothing away. She just tilts her head, the soft scratch of her pen against her notebook barely there as she writes something down.

“A place to escape,” she offers back to you in that maddeningly placid tone.

“Yes. Escape,” you echo, knowing full well the word holds no weight here. Escape from what, exactly? You let your leg bounce a little, as if the rhythm might lend some gravity to your words. “And there’s this new project I’m in talks with—A24, actually. They want me to do something… serious. A proper rebrand. Gritty. Artistic.” You drawl out “artistic” with the faintest of smirks, like you’re amused at the thought of it all. A lifetime of playing these games, and you’re practically a pro by now.

Dr. Vargas’s face betrays not a flicker of interest or amusement. She simply nods, that little encouraging tilt of her head again, like she’s waiting for you to get to the real point, the heart of the matter. But you’re not giving in so easily.

“It could be big, you know,” you continue, lifting your chin a fraction. “And I’ve got Alexia, of course.” The name slips out, deliberately nonchalant, though you feel its weight instantly, like it’s left a mark on the air between you.

Dr. Vargas raises her eyebrows, ever so slightly. “Alexia,” she repeats, not quite a question, not quite a statement. Just… acknowledgment, and yet it still feels as if she’s plucked something out of you without you realising. You don’t like it, the way she turns your own words against you.

“Yeah,” you say, shrugging. “She’s… brilliant. On the field, off it. You know, she’s—” You trail off, allowing a smirk to play on your lips. “Not bad to look at, either”

She gives no reaction, doesn’t even break eye contact. You imagine her poker face would rival that of any seasoned card shark. But it’s her silence that presses at you, coaxing out more than you intend to reveal. It’s a trick she’s used before, and yet here you are, willingly falling into it.

“Honestly,” you continue, almost laughing as if sharing some private joke, “you should see her after a match. There’s this… intensity, this rawness. Shirt off, sweat-drenched, eyes still blazing from the game. It’s… invigorating.” You roll the word around like a fine wine, savouring it as you go. “It’s like the universe threw me a bone, just when I was getting bored”

Dr. Vargas finally moves, a slight shift of her head, her mouth curving up in a near-smile. “And yet, you’re here”

Her words drop between you like a carefully placed stone. You scoff, rolling your eyes, but there’s something in her expression—an almost imperceptible softness that somehow feels like an accusation. “Therapy’s a hobby,” you shrug, leaning back, as if the very idea of anything deeper is laughable. “I’m always in therapy, Doc. News flash”

“Yes,” she agrees smoothly, not missing a beat, “but you don’t usually bring her up”

“Come on,” you counter, with a smirk that’s designed to look careless, “I bring her up all the time”

“Not like this”

Her voice is calm, almost gentle, but her gaze sharpens, pinning you in place. You feel a spike of irritation, or maybe it’s something else. You cast a look towards the fern, now faintly silhouetted by the afternoon sun, its shadow long and narrow across the wall, an unasked-for third party in this strange little dance. The absurdity of the whole scene hits you, but before you can fully detach, she’s speaking again.

“You’re talking about her differently. More… openly.” There’s no edge to her tone, no overt judgment, yet it feels like she’s peeled back a layer, glimpsed a part of you you hadn’t meant to reveal.

In the moments that follow, you stub out your cigarette on the pristine ceramic dish Vargas keeps on the table, the one she’s claimed is “not for smoking” but never actually moved after that one session. You’ve taken it as tacit permission, though you know damn well it irritates her—just another way to test the boundaries in a room that prides itself on having none. That’s half the point of these sessions: see how far you can stretch them. How much she’ll let you say, or not say. And you’ve mastered the art of saying absolutely nothing, all while filling the space with empty words.

Dr. Vargas doesn’t speak, doesn’t press, which is almost worse than if she did. There’s just the persistent softness in her eyes, the quiet implication that she understands more than you’d prefer. You remember Alexia’s eyes looking at you like that once, right after you’d tried to make some grand point about the nature of relationships—one of those pseudo-philosophical tangents you like to go on. She’d just looked at you, with a kind of bemused patience that felt a little too genuine, a little too close to knowing you.

You roll your shoulders, shake off the memory. But it clings.

“Alright,” you say, letting the smoke spill out as you form the words. “Maybe I don’t do ‘love’ like everyone else. I’m not here for a candlelit dinner and a mortgage. I’m not,” you add with a quick laugh, “one of those people who turn into some sap over a nice couple’s holiday in Santorini”

Dr. Vargas gives a small nod, an acknowledgement rather than agreement, her expression neutral but open, giving you room to continue.

“But, yes. Fine.” You take another drag, a deliberate pause. “Maybe I… care about her. I care about her. She’s different, alright?”

“Different how?” she asks gently, with an infuriatingly patient tone.

You groan, shifting in your seat. “Come on, don’t make me quantify it. That’s your thing, not mine.” You know you’re stalling, using your usual deflections, but there’s an itch underneath it, a part of you that feels raw just acknowledging that Alexia is, in fact, ‘different.’

You can feel her eyes on you, waiting for you to take the bait you’ve laid out for yourself.

“Fine, you want specifics?” you sigh, feigning annoyance, though you know you’re the one who’s led the conversation here. “She… laughs at my worst jokes. Like, really laughs. Not in a polite way, but genuinely, like she thinks I’m the funniest person alive, even when I’m barely trying. It’s stupid, really, but it gets me”

“And how does that make you feel?” Vargas leans forward, like she’s zeroing in on something significant.

You chuckle, low and dismissive, waving the question off with your cigarette. “How do you think it makes me feel? It’s… fine. Nice. A bit strange, maybe. I’m not used to being seen like that.” You pause, the weight of that admission lingering in the air between you.

She doesn’t react, doesn’t push; she just lets the moment settle, knowing there’s more.

You sigh, smoke curling up around you, as your mind goes back to other little things—the way she has this weird ritual of picking all the green M&Ms out of the bag and tossing them to you, claiming they’re “bad luck.” How she insists on reading the morning news out loud, in that silly, exaggerated announcer voice, just to make you laugh while you pretend to read emails. Or how she makes you tea at exactly the right temperature, handing you the mug with a grin like she’s just given you a priceless gift. These are things that, on the surface, should be forgettable, the kind of mundane moments that fade. But they don’t, do they? Not with her.

Dr. Vargas’s voice interrupts your reverie, soft but insistent. “You’re smiling”

You realise she’s right; you’re smiling without even meaning to, and it’s a small, stupid smile, the kind that feels too open. You try to erase it, but it’s too late. The vulnerability’s already there, a quiet confession written across your face.

You roll your eyes, more at yourself than at her. “Alright, so what? So she’s… alright, she’s fun. She’s got that energy, you know, that lightness. It’s kind of… refreshing”

The words slip out unbidden, and you feel a pang of something resembling regret. Refreshing. A word that implies something else by omission—that most of your life, most people you’ve known, have been exhausting. The irony isn’t lost on you: someone so completely different from your own brand of detached sarcasm, from your carefully cultivated ennui, has managed to slip under the radar and wedge herself into your carefully controlled life.

Dr. Vargas watches, her silence pressing you forward.

“Look, I don’t think about it too much,” you say, trying to inject a casual note into your tone. “I don’t need to psychoanalyse every smile, every inside joke. I’m not here to have my relationship broken down into neat little psych terms”

“Maybe you should think about it,” Vargas says gently. “Maybe that’s why you’re here”

You scoff, but there’s a softness in the sound, a hint of resignation. Because she’s right, isn’t she? You came here because, as much as you don’t want to admit it, this thing with Alexia has started to matter, in a way that’s both terrifying and strangely compelling. You’ve always prided yourself on staying a step removed, on being a spectator in your own life, observing rather than fully engaging. But with her, you’re finding it harder to keep that distance.

“Fine,” you mutter, leaning back, letting your head rest against the chair, staring up at the ceiling as though the answers might be written there. “Maybe she’s… special”

The words feel strange in your mouth, too vulnerable, too open. You don’t say “special” often, especially not in this context. But there it is, a reluctant admission.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m in love with her,” you continue, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “She’s great—don’t get me wrong. She’s amazing in bed. I can’t remember the last time someone made me cum so much. And she’s got this thing about her, you know? Like this fire, this intensity. It’s like when she looks at me, she’s looking right through me. And yeah, I guess that’s… intoxicating. But that’s all it is. Right?”

Dr. Vargas nods, a small, subtle gesture. “Why does that scare you?”

You don’t answer right away. Instead, you watch the smoke dancing away from your cigarette, dissipating into the air, leaving nothing behind but a faint, lingering scent. You think about what it is you’re so afraid of—because there’s something there, something you can’t quite name, a sense that if you let this thing with Alexia continue, it might change you in ways you’re not ready for.

“Because I don’t do… attachment,” you say finally, the words coming out sharper than intended. “I’ve built a life that doesn’t depend on anyone else. And she’s… she’s a complication”

You can feel Vargas watching you, sensing the weight of what you’re not saying, the unspoken truth that this isn’t just about Alexia, that it’s about something deeper, a fear of vulnerability, of losing control. She doesn’t push, though; she just waits, letting the silence do the work for her.

After a long pause, you take a breath, letting your gaze drift to the fern by the window, its leaves glossy and perfect, so meticulously maintained it almost looks fake. You wonder if it’s ever felt the strain of trying to keep everything together, to present a flawless exterior while something more fragile lurks beneath the surface.

“You know,” you say, almost to yourself, “it’s funny. For the longest time, I thought love was just a distraction, a temporary fix for people who couldn’t handle being alone.” You take another drag from your cigarette, exhaling slowly. “But with her, it’s… it’s different. It’s like she makes everything brighter, sharper, like she’s tuned into some frequency I didn’t know existed”

Dr. Vargas doesn’t respond, just nods, letting you continue.

“And the worst part?” You chuckle, a self-deprecating sound. “The worst part is that she’s getting to me. She’s in my head, even when she’s not there. I find myself thinking about her in the middle of the day, wondering what she’s up to, if she’s thinking about me too”

There’s a fragility in the admission, a crack in the armour you’ve built around yourself. And it terrifies you, this sense of letting someone in, of letting them get close enough to matter.

You stub out your cigarette, watching the last curl of smoke dissipate into the air. It feels like a metaphor for something, though you’re not sure what.

Dr. Vargas gives you a small, knowing smile. “Maybe falling in love isn’t as bad as you think it will be,” she says gently.

You shrug, trying to play it off, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s right. Because for all your detachment, all your carefully cultivated distance, there’s something about Alexia that feels like home, like she’s a part of you you didn’t realise was missing.

“Maybe,” you say, the words soft, barely audible.

Love. The word lingers like an uninvited guest. You try to dismiss it, try to laugh it off, but it keeps creeping back in.

[profoundbondfanfic]

Any destiel amnesia au fic recs to soothe my gentle heart, I read one au called two worlds apart and as much fun it was I'm also heartbroken 😭 and I want to fix it with another amnesia au where they are both are very much alive in the end, also maybe with a dash of fluff and tension?

Here are a few recs with fluff and a happy ending!

Basic Lessons in First Aid, Magical or Otherwise by stuffy_j (Explicit, 54k words)

Most people probably wouldn’t take the naked, heavily wounded man they found in an alley home with them. Most people probably wouldn’t also offer that man a place to stay and become his best friend after realizing he’s suffering from an intense case of post-traumatic retrograde amnesia. Most people probably wouldn’t then risk almost everything they know to save said man, and maybe save the world in the process. But then again, Dean Winchester, RN (with a specialty in supernatural care), has never been like most people. He may not have a magical bone in his body, unlike his brother Sam, but he’ll do whatever it takes to help. Even if Castiel has questionable opinions about Star Trek.

Here We May Be Free by FriendofCarlotta (Explicit, 39k words)

When Dean was eleven, he saw something in the ocean: a boy with blue eyes and iridescent scales. Almost twenty years later, a spontaneous detour after a hunt brings Dean and Sam back to the town where that encounter took place. And Dean can’t shake the feeling that Castiel, the owner of the local Mermaid Museum, looks familiar…

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) by sobsicles (Explicit, 66k words)

When he wakes, he has no idea who he is. Not his name, what he looks like, or why he’s flat on his back, staring up at the stars littering the night sky. The first thing he learns about himself is that he has shitty instincts, especially if his first one is to protect the blue-eyed man currently stabbing someone in the face. Or, the story where two strangers can’t agree on much and know even less, but they’re both fairly certain that they’re in love.

Paper Moon by robotsnchicks (Explicit, 43k words)

By the time he hits thirty-three, Dean's given up on the apple pie life, accepting that a serious relationship isn't in the cards for him. But when he meets Cas everything falls into place. Now he’s happily married, hopelessly in love, and they’re about to buy their first home together. It almost feels too good to be true. It turns out it is. His world comes crashing down when he wakes to find that he’s been a subject in a virtual reality simulation gone wrong. All the years he thought he spent with Cas were actually experienced in less than a week. And when he gets out, Cas is nowhere to be found and nobody has heard of him. Ignoring the possibility that Cas may not be real, Dean sets out to find him and convince him that it’s worth giving Dean — and their relationship — a shot in the real world.

The Same Mistake, Again by zaphodsgirl (Mature, 43k words)

One night, after watching Dean pick up yet another girl while they're out at a bar, Cas heads to the local diner. Over the years his feelings of attraction have only deepened into something more, and he wishes desperately to go back to the time before he was in love with his best friend. His wish is granted in an unexpected way: he wakes up in the hospital the next morning with broken limbs - an arm and a leg- and a fractured memory with the last four years missing.

The Stars Will Remember by casblackfeathers (Explicit, 60k words)

Being a hunter was all Dean knew ever since his mother had been killed by a demon when he was four. Hunting, offing monsters, and then jumping to the next case was his life. Then he met the most alluring and breathtaking omega he had ever seen and spent the next five years loving the hell out of Cas, their life together filled with the domestic lovey-dovey stuff Dean had never thought he would dig so much. When a simple salt-and-burn goes sideways, it ends up with Cas’ memories stolen from him. Dean is left to pick up the pieces of the life they built together, his ‘make it up as he goes’ strategy to prove to his mate that Dean’s still worth a damn, his only chance at getting Cas back. He’s done a shitty-ass job at keeping Cas safe before, but he will pull out all the stops now to woo his mate again and stir the memories Dean knows are still there buried deep inside Cas’ mind.

The Story of You and Me by the_diggler (Explicit, 54k words)

Dean wakes up in bed next to a very human Castiel, and a journal in his own handwriting that tells him it’s two years in the future. The house looks a lot like Bobby’s, and Sam lives there too… He just can’t remember how they got from angels falling in the sky – to comfortable domesticity. While there is much in the journal Dean doesn’t remember, there is much of their story he’s always known. And as he settles into the routine of his new life and relationship with Castiel, it quickly becomes something he doesn’t know how to live without.

Unveil the Splendours of Your Heart by thefandomsinhalor (Mature, 68k words)

When a reporter asks Dean, a homeless man with a mysterious past, why he exclusively keeps close to the billboards and posters of a specific male model—the one Dean likes to refer to as the angel with spectacular blue eyes—in a moment of weakness, thinking it won’t change anything about his situation, Dean tells him the truth: it’s how he finds comfort and solace. Something that is difficult to come by. That is until the story reaches the ears of Castiel Novak, the model in question.

Whiskey & November by dothraki_shieldmaiden, FriendofCarlotta (Explicit, 188k words)

There is a place in L.A. where the richest of the rich can make their dreams come true. For an outrageous sum, they can hire an “angel” who is programmed to be exactly what they need: a stripper, a scientist, a temporary boyfriend. Most people don’t choose to question who the angels are, or where they came from. Sam Winchester is not most people. His brother Dean went missing in L.A. two years ago, and Sam has spent all that time trying to track him down. The trail leads him to a shadowy organization known as “Heaven” that coerces people into giving up their identities and personalities so they can be reprogrammed for Heaven’s purposes. Inside Heaven, trouble is brewing: two of the angels, Whiskey and November, are beginning to break through their programming. As they fall for each other and fight to remember who they are, they discover that they have an ally already working to bring down Heaven from within.

Not really amnesia, but they think they have it:

Found Family by Dizzybunny (Explicit, 55k words)

When Alpha Captain Castiel Novak returns to the US after being rescued from three years of captivity, he is amazed to find a family he doesn’t remember living in his house. Not just any family - his omega husband and pups. Dean had been told Castiel was MIA, and probably dead. Living in Castiel’s old house, raising his own and Castiel’s pups as a single father had been difficult, but he managed. Now Castiel is back. Can he fit into the life Dean has made? Can Dean adjust to having an alpha? Does Castiel want a husband he can’t remember?

White Lies & Winter Blues by PaperAnn (Explicit, 37k words)

When Castiel drives by a car wreck, he should’ve heeded the warning, ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions.’ He’s a nurse, it’s a record-breaking, cruel winter, and upon seeing the driver hypothermic and near-death—his instincts kick in. Cas doesn't think, he jumps into action to save the omega. Once the ambulance arrives, Castiel joins the ride. Then in the hospital room, he keeps a watchful eye over the omega's treatment and care. All under the guise of being ‘his alpha.’ Castiel’s plan was innocent, wishing for a quick recovery, followed by quicker exit. Except, he misses his shot. The omega awakes and the nurse beats Cas to the punch, with the declaration, “You’re lucky your mate found you in time!” causing all hell to break loose. There are no questions. A starry-eyed and love-struck Dean Winchester automatically believes the accident caused amnesia, that Cas is his mate. This wasn’t supposed to happen! Now entangled in his own lies—still reeling from the unexpected discovery they’re true mates—Cas feels helpless. He doesn’t know what the fuck to do! Besides...playing along. Paving his road to hell, one good intention at a time.

[seafoamreadings]

big things that are coming

here are the next few astrological events i would consider extra serious, in case you like to mark your calendars or be otherwise prepared.

pluto into aquarius for real - i say for real because it's the last time we will see the ingress from capricorn to aquarius in any of our lifetimes, after much retrograding back and forth. global themes of technology humanitarianism, and perhaps revolution come to the fore in ways we've previously never even dreamed of.

mercury retrograde - the last retrograde of mercury for 2024 is ensconced in sagittarius. honesty is the way to go. people who don't know or think about astrology are going to be accidentally blabbing, even when they mean to be discreet. so keep your ears open and if you don't want the truth to get out about some matter just stay silent instead. no facades succeed in this time.

mars retrograde - less frequent than other retrogrades, the retrograde of this old malefic can be hard - especially around the station points. above all stay safe. also stay calm and stay kind! not everyone will do so - that just means it's extra needed, it doesn't mean we should all join the ranks of such people.

neptune direct - this happens practically immediately after the retrograde of mars aforementioned so be wary of deceit and manipulation and avoid doing such things yourself. be also very careful with substance abuse or even overindulgence and under no circumstances should you (ever but especially now) get in a vehicle intoxicated or with someone driving who is. maximize the good vibes of it by recording and being aware of your dreams, and daydreams. there will be messages in there almost for sure.

mercury direct - normally i like to do the mercury retrograde/direct stations in separate posts but so much happens in such a brief period that it's not super practical to do so this time. just as with the retrograde station, watch for freudian slips and accidental blurting of secrets. don't let it be you, and get what info you need when it happens to others. honesty is the best policy here but silence is also golden.

jupiter square saturn - kind of a difficult square for the yuletide season. this is a very social square. not in the sense of being particularly extroverted, but in that it won't happen so much on the personal level but within our tribes/communities/other social groups. the need to expand and the need to constrict must somehow be reconciled. it will take more than one person to figure out, but we can each do our part.

chiron direct - just before the dawn of the new year, the proverbial wounded healer resumes prograde forward motion. this station may bring healing revelations, new friends and helpful community members, or just a renewed motivation for healing and rebuilding after any traumas you've sustained, no matter how old or how new they were.

[elkian]

Ending 17 (Don't Make Me Worry), Scarlet/Victory Ends, and Return End spoilers:

I think it's really interesting how Mr. Stitch acts in the Ending 17 route. As far as I can tell, virtually every character in the game

1) tells the truth. Which if nothing else is probably a game design choice to make things easier, since translating is already a mechanic; determining if someone's lying on top of that would get complicated really damn fast. Diagetically, I think it's since communicating is already difficult (we see with Mr. Human that dif languages are a possibility; plus the locals turning from human to Other), that everyone is already fighting to be understood and lying would make THAT too complicated. Plus there's so many Mistake Ends that the MC can't be the only one getting killed by accident. Communication is important, is my point.

and,

2) almost always operates on basis of consent. There are a few exceptions, but largely the Other people operate on the assumption that the MC knows what she's asking for/consenting to, which comes back to both gameplay and communication.

There are outliers, of course, but they are usually from a character who's either already belligerent, or genuinely trying to help (unf their understanding of "help" isn't always conducive to a functioning human body).

Mr. Gap gets upset when you offer him a heart that you acquired without asking, and he always asks for things from you. He gets annoyed when you say no, but he never pushes it. (He does show up under your sheets, but oh well.)

Mr. Stitch is one of the only characters we've seen who asked for something (see his argument with Mr. Crawling at the first meeting) and, eventually, decides to take it when refused (running away with you).

And this is also the only ending where Mr. Crawling loses his temper. It's the only ending where he stands up (which appears to be extremely difficult for him; he was crawling in the intro, it's probably not just to not intimidate the MC), it's the only ending where he gets violent, and it's the only ending with him not smiling for an entire conversation with the MC. Even when assured of your health and safety, he doesn't smile.

Hell, Mr. Scarletella backs off when Mr. Crawling tells him to (and eventually, when the MC tells him to), even though he's very insistent on Getting the MC.

There seems to be a certain unspoken code amongst the "Monsters", and violating it is a serious breach of conduct.

Edit: Stitch also acts questionable during his "come play" option but it's less obvious than the 17 one.

Edit 2: It just occurred to me that some rooms have doors marked in some way - the tentacle room, the painting's room, and the hair salon come to mind - and those are doors you have to be invited to enter. The latter two you're specifically supposed to knock on and wait for an invitation or you get splatted. So there's definitely a form of etiquette happening, it's sort of like a fae realm but more up front about the murder lmao.

[theculturedmarxist]

>Would a party that declares independence from the culture war even be possible?

I think so. We have to remember that the "culture war" is itself just a proxy for the class war being waged against working people.

For example, in my state a few years ago there was a bunch of bullshit over the "bathroom bill." Dem-controlled Charlotte passed a bill saying that people can use the bathroom of their presented gender, and then Rep-controlled Raleigh countermanded it with a bill of their own saying the opposite. There was a lot of gnashing of teeth over the assault on trans rights and so on, but all of this was in service of covering up what the bill was really about. The second half of the bill not dealing with bathrooms dealt with preventing municipalities from setting minimum wages, safety requirements, and other such things for contract workers.

Another example is this recent shit out of Florida and other places attacking what books school libraries are allowed to have on their shelves, generally having to do with LGBTQ&c content. It's really such nonsense, because how many children are actually being "exposed to" that kind of thing from their school libraries to begin with? But recently I saw an article that tallied up the amount schools have spent having to fight these regulations or the evangelical groups suing them into the billions of dollars. Once again the trans issue is just a cover for reactionaries to attack working people, this time by draining public schools of resources and covering them in acrimony.

Remember also that this "culture war" is happening in a more or less vacuum of working class material interests. Both parties use it as a scapegoat to prevent having to offer working people anything. In either case, if a voter isn't offered something positive to vote for, they'll at least vote against something negative. The average person probably doesn't know a trans person or deal with them in such a substantial way to really have to think about them at all, but when used as a means to threaten their child, either in the sense of "you don't want some DEMOCRAT to trans your beautiful girl into an ugly MAN do you?" or "you don't want some REPUBLICAN to KILL your beautiful trans child do you?" then it becomes a serious issue.

For the most part I really don't think the average person gives much of a shit. Returning to my state's circumstances, right now much of the Western portion is still devastated by hurricane Helene. If a trans person showed up on the remains of someone's doorstep, home destroyed, no power, no heat, no water, no food, with clothes and food and water for them and their children, do you think they're going to turn their nose up? Maybe a few, but I think most people would kiss the feet of the person that kept their children from starving.

And I think that's what we see pretty regularly—people are more concerned with having their material needs met over the ideological source of having those needs met. The average American voter isn't represented by either party because neither one materially meets any of their needs and they have no interest in trying to. In fact, I think if you described the ideal socialist program to the average American they would unequivocally support it.

To provide one such example, when the Amazon Union had its first organizational success after several failures, the union rep was interviewed and talked about what made this time succeed after all the other times failed. Basically he said that the union DID for the workers in the lead up to the vote, providing them with food and weed in addition to their ideological aspirations.

Contrast to the interview with the worker from (iirc) a failed unionization attempt at an auto plant in Kentucky. Ideologically she backed the union 100%. She wanted the union, thought it would be a tremendous help to herself and the other workers there, yet she voted against it. Essentially what she said was "I wanted the union, but I have cancer and the employer threatened to cut our healthcare if we unionized, and that would kill me."

And that's the major stumbling block for the socialist movement in the US right now is that it lacks the ability to materially provide what it ideologically aspires towards. It isn't a defect in theory or lack of zeal, it's just materially unable to. So in spite of a lot of theoretical support for socialism and its ideals, that support hasn't translated into success for the movement, in large part because even when socialists are successful at the polls, the political system as a whole is designed to make translating that success into the sort of material changes which would threaten to unseat the bourgeois parties.

One such example is that the socialists actually did win in Nevada a few years ago. Socialists within the Democratic Party managed to unseat the bourgeois party representatives, and the party responded by basically robbing and starving them of resources, and all the experienced bureaucrats the party's representatives rely on to function all quit. The result was that last year all the elected socialists got unseated in turn by Democrat regulars because they weren't able to parlay their electoral success into actual material gains.

In my opinion the threat of actual material improvements for the working class and what that would entail is what freaked the Democrats out so badly about Bernie Sanders. As much as they squealed and cried about Trump, Sanders actually terrified them. It wasn't his label as a socialist, because to Americans the "Socialist" label is meaningless, just a stand in for whatever scary Bad Thing. What horrified them was a socialist politician getting within spitting distance of having the power to actually provide people with material improvements to their lives. The Democrats aren't afraid to promise or "fight for" a $15 minimum wage or "access to health care," but they are deeply terrified of someone actually providing it.

And I think that is shown both historically with groups like the Black Panthers and the violent reaction generated by their childhood lunch programs, but more recently with the success of the Amazon Union.

The real impediment to socialist political success is that political success itself is insufficient to materialize concrete gains for the people that vote for them, and getting bogged down in "culture war" superficialities exacerbates that. That isn't to say that trans people or their needs should be abandoned, but rather that they need to be a) put in the proper context and b) can't be combated on bourgeois terms.

In 2020 and 2024 both, the Democrats offered trans people nothing except the threadbare hope that by voting for them, they'd be spared the worst predations of the Republicans. The proper socialist position would be that merely being spared from harm isn't enough. Trans people suffer particularly from poverty for example, so merely keeping their circumstances from worsening is insufficient, but that they needs must be improved.

In the current calculus of the American political system, this is theoretically appealing to the average voter. As long as helping trans people doesn't come at their own expense, Americans would generally support such a thing. The problem is whether explicitly known or not, voting for a socialist proposing such a thing would be a losing proposition even if they won. I frequently hear people that they intellectually support third party candidates for example, but "they can't win." Even if a socialist were able to win election to legislature, they would be hamstrung by the fact that they're an enemy of "both sides" with a material interest in seeing them ejected in short order. There are some exceptions like Sawant or Sanders, but that's the general rule.

What I think this means is that at this stage there's an overemphasis on winning political power and trying to beat the bourgeois parties at their own game. I think the social and political organization of the working class is too immature for that at this stage. Rather we must develop the sort of ecosystem of material benefit and support which solves people's problems outside of a hostile electoral system. This doesn't mean electoral politics should be abandoned completely, but rather than winning elections as an end in itself must be de-emphasized.

Returning to the problem of trans poverty for example. I think what would enhance a socialist party's success would be starting a program of partnership with amenable unions to secure trans people positions within them and their industries. This would solve multiple problems at once by providing this theoretical union with members that have incentives to participate and support it, if only out of their own self interest. They'd be indebted to the party for the assistance and if not ideologically converted at least incentivized to support the party in turn. Ideally this would also help the union and the party foster a mutually supportive relationship which would further the goals of both.

The point being, as long as socialist orgs are focused primarily on political contests they can't win, the development of broader working class organization is going to remain retarded. All the small, disparate working class elements existing in the US have to start developing networks of mutual aid and coordination, pooling their resources to in order to provide actual material support to workers outside of whatever crumbs they're able to wrest from the bourgeois state, because otherwise we're resigning ourselves to a Sisyphean political struggle we're unlikely to win.

[ohlookapan]

Heisenberg comfort HCs, anyone?

I've been feeling really down and out these last few days so I've been thinking about this silly steel man to make myself feel better.

Heisenberg is VERY observant–I’d go so far as to say he’s hyper observant. He’ll know something isn’t right likely before you do. He may not say anything right away, but he’s going to keep an eye on you.

Karl is someone who knows what it’s like to be stuck in your own head, and how shitty it is. He also knows how awful it feels (though he’d never admit it) to feel like that and feel like that alone. He never wants you to feel that way, alone. 

He also knows that thinking about it makes it worse, but he will try and see if he can figure out what’s wrong. It’ll be something casual. “Talk to me, kid. What’s goin’ through that head of yours? Can’t be anything good if you’re all down like this.” The only exception to this is if you’re in a REALLY bad place, then he’s going to be much more urgent. If he can’t get it out, he’ll grab a pen and paper and have you write what you can.

If he can’t get the issue out of you (which he will not push you about it), he’s kinda stuck. He doesn’t totally know what to do, since he doesn’t really do anything to help himself. He just pushes it away and focuses on something else, letting his mind get buried in whatever he’s doing until he forgets about the issue. That being said, he NEVER wants you to do that. He may do it, but you sure as hell won’t.

Heisenberg will not change anything about how he acts around you when you feel that way. It isn’t because he doesn’t care, but rather that he doesn’t want to make you feel babied or less than because of how you’re feeling. You’re a tough cookie, he’s going to make sure you feel like one, even if you’re crumbled from time to time. 

Being as observant as he is, he knows what makes you happy and makes you feel better (even a little), even if he fucking HATES it. If it helps, you’re getting it. Even if it’s wine, he’ll trudge to Castle Dimitrescu himself and get it. He’ll definitely bitch about it, but it’ll never be around you. He’ll bitch on the way there or take it out on Alcina. 

If you’re shaking a lot, or you’re moving a bunch, he’ll give you something to tinker with, even if it’s broken or defunct. If you’re angry and need to break things, he’s already made you a version of his hammer that you can lift and just tells you “You know where to go.” Hell, he’ll probably go with you and do it too (but also to make sure you don’t hurt yourself).

He’ll definitely try and give you some words of encouragement in his own way. It may be something simple like, “Don’t let this destroy you, kiddo.” to something a bit deeper (depending on how you feel), like “You’ll get through this, buttercup. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re going to outlive that bitch Miranda, and you’re going to be just fine. Got it? Good.”

Once you feel better, he’s not going to bring that incident up again, unless it’s something ongoing or something really serious, but he will check in with you to see how you’re feeling after that. “You ready to get back in the game, kid? Good to hear. Wasted a lot of precious time picking your ass up out of the dirt."

[prettyboykatsuki]

This is a weird thought piece question so if you don’t wanna answer it’s okay. But genuinely as a character I think Katsuki is very aware of people he cares about. Almost in an Izuku type of obsessive way, maybe less intense and prone to writing it down, lol. But as I trust your perspective on him a lot I wanted to ask, do you think he’s the type of person as a friend or significant other or potential person, to be aware of insecurities?

Or to care genuinely? For example if you were insecure about your size. Do you think he would be aware of that and be silent? Or would he love the insecurity in spite of your feelings? Or does he not really think twice because he cares about you and doesn’t know you would even feel that way. It’s a weird dilemma I ran into wanting to write a piece for him and I realized I couldn’t figure it out. Hopefully I am explaining myself properly?

Thank you 😭

i understand what u mean lol dw and i think if u read some of my pieces my stance on this aspect of him is hard to grasp bc i dont often write more insecure readers. mostly bc i think its a little bit harder to write well as it requires more nuances but thats a diff can of worms jdhfkj

i think its important to understand less so what bakugou does and does not care about and moreso the way he process information - which is largely intuitive.

like i do understand what you are asking and because bakugou is bakugou - yes, i think he is probably aware of these things. he picks up on them often and usually uses them in some context when throwing insults or even in more light hearted interactions.

but a lot of bakugous informational processing is based on a pragmatic, systemic and reason based way of thinking. and a lot of what impedes that way of acting is his own emotional state. in the beginning of the series, he's a lot more insecure in himself and he projects that onto other people. it causes him to act in very irrational and ridiculous ways

however by the end of the series, katsuki s a fully processed and emotionally realized man. so he defaults to a more elevated, calm and secure version of himself that relies on what he's best at which is using his intuition to draw conclusions and implementing a reason based plan. before he was doing that just with logic.

but he has the emotional tuning to also do this in his relationships and he's taken a lot of time to learn to navigate them.

so i think in a partnership, it's unlikely that he does not know at all. i think he probably picks up on the insecurity in smaller ways but does not put a real name to it (i.e. i dont think he thinks of it consciously / actively) until something comes up which forces him too do it

and that something would be if its putting his partner in any kind of serious emotional distress or comes up frequently as a reason for their upset.

katsuki has this line he says very famously says to shouto "there's no way you could've noticed something that i didnt but lets hear it anyway." and he's being passive aggressive af lol but there is some merit to that.

he's a very keen person naturally and he spends a significant amount of time with you - so he definitely knows to an extent. maybe no actively, maybe not consciously - but just an intuitive understanding.

however, because he loves you - he will only intervene when he thinks its necessary to do so. and this isn't because he doesn't care about you, but because he specifically had to handle his own insecurity and he knows firsthand what you're experiencing in himself.

but katsuki loves you and also has a lot of faith in you. he will push if he thinks you need to be pushed, and he will assure if he thinks you need to be assured. he's a good partner in that way. but for the most part, he won't interfere because he trusts in you as a person to overcome things. insecurity is not something that can be mended by another person if it's within yourself, but it can be healed when it's reframed to you by someone who loves you.

and if you need that from katsuki he will undoutedly give it to you. but he trusts you to handle business basically. so not in a bad way, he treats your insecurities as simply being apartof you.

he doesn't have any feelings about the insecurity itself. he's not lying when he says that. but thats because he loves you more as an amalgalm of all the parts of you. his view of you is rounded out and he sees all of it as you. if he loves you, he loves you. there's nothing that needs to be changed as longs as its you. so he has no opinion on if you like or dislike something. you are you no matter who you are or what you look like.

bakugou is very explicitly not shallow. appearances in love are generally unimportant to him. he falls in love with people not looks even when people don't believe that because he's so pretty lmao

[infiniteeight8]

Omega fox Stephen

Alpha dragon tony

Canon au

No body knows their secondary and animal form

Pre ironman

Go wild !

I’ve done a few Sentinel spirit guide / daemon / animal form type prompts where whatever animal form they have is considered unusual or misunderstood. So this time I decided to go frame their forms as symbolically meaningful, but not otherwise special.

I’ve assumed that by “form” you mean that shapeshifting is a part of this type of AU. We only get a partial shift here, alas.

-

Stephen was less than impressed when he got called to the emergency room to do a neurological consult on Tony Stark. It was painfully obvious that the hospital administration only wanted to impress the billionaire. With that in mind, Stephen marched toward the room where Stark was being treated, his most icily professional mask firmly in place. If he pissed Stark off the hospital administration would eviscerate him, but that didn’t mean he had to pander to the man. 

Raised voices became audible some distance from the exam room, despite the closed door. “I’m fine. The airbag did its job, and I’ve already been evaluated by a doctor. I don’t want to waste the time of some specialist, I want to go home.”

“A car accident is serious—”

“It was a fender bender. I wasn’t injured.”

“You’re not a doctor.”

“I’ve been seen by a doctor. If I was Joe Schmoe instead of Tony Stark, billionaire, I’d be gone by now.”

Anger mostly deflated by Stark’s understanding of the nature of the situation, Stephen pushed open the exam room door and stepped inside. Stark was standing next to the exam bed, his companion—a woman—standing across from him with her arms crossed. Both their gazes snapped to Stephen. “And now apparently you’re going to be seen by another one,” he said. “Miss, step outside, please.”

She started to protest, but Stark rolled his eyes. “Just go so we can get this over with.” Sighing, the woman left. Stark made a face. “Sorry about this, Doc. I know you have better things to be doing.”

“As do you,” Stephen said, beginning his exam. “But the hospital administration is a force to be reckoned with.”

“As is Pepper,” Stark replied, amused. 

Stephen ran through his exam as quickly as he responsibly could. Everything came back normal, of course. When they were done, Stephen offered Stark his hand. “Thank you for cooperating.” Stark could easily have taken his frustration out of Stephen.

Stark snorted. “You’re welcome,” he said dryly, taking Stephen’s hand.

As their hands closed around each other, Stark’s eyes lightened to a brilliant gold, his pupils narrowed to slits, and scales spread from the corners of his eyes down his throat. With only a partial shift to go on, someone else might have mistaken Stark for a snake-form, but Stephen was a doctor. “You’re a dragon,” he blurted out, startled.

“And you’re a fox,” Stark replied, eyeing the pointed ears and fur that Stephen had sprouted. “Unusual, for a doctor. You must do research.”

‘Unusual’ was the pot calling the kettle black here. Dragons were powerful protective forms; it was very nearly the last form Stephen would have guessed for a weapons manufacturer. “I do,” Stephen answered aloud. Reluctantly, he let go of Stark’s hand. Both of their forms faded back into a regular human appearance. “I apologize,” he went on. “I wear gloves for more intimate exams, but handshakes aren’t supposed to trigger reactions like that. Not unless—”

Not unless the two were an exceptionally compatible alpha/omega pair.

Stark gave him a faint smile. “It’s fine,” he said. “Am I good to go now?”

Stephen blinked, refocusing on his work. “Yes, of course. You’re fine.”

“Thanks, doc,” Stark said, scooping up a jacket draped over a nearby chair and heading for the exam room door. Once there, he paused and glanced back. “This is just between us, right?”

“Docter-patient confidentiality,” Stephen assured him.

“Good.” Stark nodded briskly, and then he was gone.

Stephen knew that they were far from an appropriate match. Walking out immediately was the right choice. But despite that, he couldn’t shake the feeling that, with Stark’s departure…

…he’d lost something.

[low-budget-korra]

Comments on Arcane s02 e1-3

-As someone who is still dealing with the loss of my father, I can guarantee that this type of pain is something else and it truly changes you. Caitlyn lost her mother in an act of violence, terrorism, so of course she will be full of anger and urging for revenge. And also, of course she also felt guilty about it, like she said to her dad, she had the shot on Jinx but didn't shoot.

I've seen people commenting as if Caitlyn had volunteered to be Ambessa second hand and now that I've seen I'm like ? Bruh did y'all didn't see the masterful power and pressure move Ambessa thrown on Caitlyn? After that speech, there was no way she could say "no", those people would eat her alive and she would possibly be treated as a traitor, especially because of her proximity with Vi

-And I KNEW Ambessa was behind it all

-"I'm the one that created that monster" no Vi, you didn't 🥺. See? That's exactly when Jinx loses me. She doesn't take accountability for her actions and blames Vi for it.

"but she is traumatized" grl tell me one one character in that show who ain't?

Okay, let me say something serious. Being traumatized, doesn't give you the right to hurt others. Assholes can be traumatized too, and I'm saying this because I've already seen people hide behind their mental illness and trauma just so they could hurt others and not be held accountable for that.

Jinx asking if Caitlyn and Vi had sex before the fight began, was brutal lmao

-We got the CaiVi kiss but at what cost??? 😭

I think what made Caitlyn snap was being compared to Jinx

-If something happens with Maddie, I will kill everybody in the show and myself. What an sweetheart. In fact, I like all of CaitVi squad

Something I can't say about that kid who follows Jinx. I'm sorry but I couldn't care less about that child.

-And the assholes attack again, and guess who will suffer the consequences?? In my comments on s1 I talked about the need to know how to pick the battles we fight. And Silco's gang just reunited the stronger enemy against them, and the people of Piltover won't care about any more ruthless or aggressive response against Zaun. Now more than ever, they think of them as vile monsters who need to be put down.

What Jinx and Silco started will just result in the death of more innocents, especially the people of Zaun.

-Gotta say, watching Sevika be all "we don't hand over our people" speech, the same of she took as a weakness when Vander spoke.... character development.

Viktor basically became Jesus. I'm sorry but that scene when he wakes up and was like "peace off bruh ✌️" to Jayce, and leaves him...it was so not funny but still made me laugh

-wtf is happening with the Hex? Also, yeah, now I get why Riot almost went broke after making this

[mythologicalmormon]

In light of recent events and my brother having a talk in sacrament tomorrow, I was reminded of a talk that I gave last year that focused on diversity and I thought y’all might appreciate it.

There is a story Jesus told about a Jewish man who was severely injured and left on the side of a road. Various travelers saw him and ignored him, including a Jewish priest. Although the injured man was of the same creed as the priest, the priest continued on his way with no regard for his fellow man. Eventually, a Samaritan man walked by. Now, Samaritans and Jews detested one another. The Samaritan’s preexisting bias would dictate that he, upon seeing the man was a Jew, ignore him as the previous travelers had. However, the Samaritan saw the man suffering and decided to help him no matter their personal and cultural differences. The Samaritan did what the other travelers chose not to and demonstrated true caring for one’s neighbors without regard for bias. The parable of the good Samaritan provides a valuable example for us. Would you take time out of your day to help someone in need, even if they belonged to a group of people whom you dislike or disapprove of? Are you willing to sacrifice your prejudice in an effort to help people belong in the church?

Our Heavenly Father loves diversity. When he created the earth, He did not make everything uniform and identical. He made millions of distinctive and unique species, plants, and other incredible creations. From seahorses to raccoons to peregrine falcons, the creatures on this earth are each special. The same goes for people. The assorted characteristics that differentiate us also make us human. Some of us are short, some of us are gay, some like reading, and others can wiggle their ears. God doesn’t love us in spite of our diversity, but because of it. He loves diversity. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have made each one of us one-of-a-kind. He wants all of us to belong and to appreciate that which makes us special, just as He does.

Even within the church there is exceptional diversity. In the talk that I am referencing, The Doctrine of Belonging, Elder D. Todd Christofferson says quote “As the long prophesied latter-day gathering of the Lord’s covenant people gains momentum, the Church will truly be composed of members from every nation, kindred, tongue, and people.” When the church was restored, the first members were all white and of European heritage. But diversity is the natural result of having a widespread group, and as the church became more vast, so did the diversity within it. There are millions of members in this church that are of varying colors, backgrounds, genders, and sexualities. There are members who speak languages from the obscure to the well-known. There are members who have medical and mental health problems and members who speak with a stutter or a lisp. Our differences don’t make us less of God’s children, but some among us will belittle and alienate members who are unlike them. God invites all of his children and all of their diversity to partake in his covenants and return to him. We should follow in His example by loving diversity and striving to make everyone know that they belong in our Savior’s church.

Helping people feel and know that they belong in the church requires everyone to let go of their preconceived notions, judgments, and biases. Each and every one of us has prejudices. We discriminate based on serious things such aswhether or not a person has gone to prison or who someone voted for in an election, and we discriminate based on simple things like what music someone listens to or what type of clothes someone wears. Prejudice is often nothing more than a sweeping generalization that misrepresents a group of people. Within church culture, prejudice is unfortunately common and it is counterproductive to helping people feel like they belong in the kingdom of God. The general handbook for the church states, “Prejudice is not consistent with the revealed word of God. Favor or disfavor with God depends on devotion to Him and His commandments, not on the color of a person’s skin or other attributes. The Church calls on all people to abandon attitudes and actions of prejudice toward any group or individual.” When we are prejudiced against a person, we have a mental block that prevents us from helping that child of God feel like they belong. Prejudice gives way to unjustified judgment, which in turn can lead to members of the church feeling out of place in the one setting where they should feel completely at ease.

Everyone in this room, including myself, judges people. We judge people for how they dress when they attend church, how many children they have, how short or long their hair is, or how eloquently they speak, among other things. We may keep our judgment to ourselves, speak it behind someone’s back, or even tell it to their face. Elder Christofferson remarked on this, saying, quote “We may unwittingly impose expectations on others – or even ourselves – that are not the Lord’s expectations. We may communicate in subtle ways that the worth of a soul is based on certain achievements or callings”. In what subtle – or not so subtle- ways do you convey your judgments? When someone who does something you disapprove of walks into a room do you turn your body away from them and avoid including them?

As often as we may cast judgment upon others, it is not our place to do so. Judging our brothers and sisters both within these walls and outside them only splits the kingdom of God. We all sin and we all sin differently. There is a saying: Don’t judge others because they choose to sin differently than you do. Who are we to judge the sins of others? Just because we have opinions on proper etiquette, behavior, and beliefs it doesn’t mean that it is our place to enforce them. They remain opinions only. We will not always know all the details about a situation. We don’t know the circumstances surrounding why a couple has no children. We don’t know if the brother who doesn’t make eye contact has autism or another disorder that makes eye contact difficult. We don’t know what may have happened behind closed doors before a divorce. We don’t know if the sister who uses her phone during class needs to use it to be able to focus. Judging our neighbors can, and frequently does, drive our beloved brothers and sisters away from the church, whereas loving our neighbors as Jesus loves us will help them to know that they belong here with us.

Elder Christofferson also stated, quote, “It is a sad irony when someone, feeling he or she doesn’t meet the ideal in all aspects of life, concludes that he or she doesn’t belong in the very organization designed by God to help us progress toward the ideal”. Perfection does not happen in this life, and yet in church culture we often make it seem as if perfection is a prerequisite for salvation.Such an unreasonable expectation creates an unnecessary divide in the church. We do not have to do certain things to belong in this church. Every single person on this earth belongs in Heavenly Father’s kingdom, no matter their past sins, current situations, and future mistakes.

There are things that people believe are “required” to be a worthy disciple. Regarding the passing of the sacrament, some hold the belief that every young man must be clean shaven, devoid of jewlery, have short hair, and wear a white shirt and tie. The Lord, however has made it a simple act of reverence and service, with the only requirement being that, “Those who administer the sacrament should be well groomed and clean. They should not wear clothing or jewelry that might detract from the worship and covenant making that are the purpose of the sacrament.” This is an example of a church culture misconception and is only one of many others which are geared towards being perfect in this life. Every worthy and able young man has been asked to prepare for and serve a mission. However, serving a mission is not a requirement to hold the priesthood and to serve the Lord throughout their lives. We have been given free agency, and it is not our place to judge when an individual chooses not to serve a mission or when a missionary returns home early. Some members cannot fathom saying no to a calling even if they know that their personal circumstances would clearly be incompatible with the calling at that time. How are our sisters and brothers within the church supposed to know that they belong when we make them feel like they have to be this picture-perfect human being?

If we want to gather Israel, we cannot only minister to those whom we feel comfortable with. Our baptismal covenants did not say to “Bear our friends’ burdens and only our friends' burdens; mourn with only those whom we feel comfortable with; comfort only those whom we like.” They said to, “bear other’s burdens, that they may be light, mourn with those that mourn; and comfort those in need of comfort.” The language in our baptismal covenants does not exclude any of God’s children, so why do we?

When you see someone who doesn’t seem to be included, make a point to talk to them. If a brother or sister stops attending church, reach out to them. Show those around you that they belong, even if it means that you have to step out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to be a voice for others when there’s an untoward joke or when someone is being talked about behind their back. Love those in need of love, even those nobody spares a glance for. Be like our Savior in all that you do, and you will show those around you how much they belong.

[dissociation-station123]

More than an Acquaintance

LADS: Sylus X Reader

~

It has been a month or two since Sylus walked into the bar. Each week you walked in he sat in your spot with confidence as if it was his all along. Slowly his eyes began to become less serious and melancholy after each greeting. Though you barely spoke much. Still the same old surface level conversations with a few more words added each time. Nothing has deterred you from your normalcy or routine.

You felt yourself slowly becoming more comfortable around him. Those warning alarms in your mind when you first encountered him dulled. He became a part of the scene of your life. Someone who didn’t know you but acknowledged you.

You did notice that the bar had got a bit more crowded than usual, people drawn in by his model-like looks. Hopeful for a chance to take him home. He always declined them in a way that still made them feel wanted. His social ability was admirable. Your curiosity peaked each time he denied an attractive person’s advances. A simple shrug your way and a raised glass is always his response.

He was an enigma. A puzzle that your brain needed to figure out. Yet you could not find a way to do so. The complexities of conversation are exhausting and you just wanted to relax, in the bar you claimed. So you simply existed in his presence.

Until he decided to set his sights on you. He was a storm you were not prepared for. You were comfortable standing in the water up to your ankles, unaware that letting him in your life, it was a sandbar.

~

“Y/N I refuse to allow you to pay.” Sylus shoves that damn black card in your face once again. You scowl which only amuses him further. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“This feels like I’m taking advantage of you. I can afford my drinks.” You rebuttal but he waves a hand in your direction and hands his card to the bartender who laughs. You sigh heavily but the moment the glass arrives you happily take a sip.

You look over and he chuckles, you roll your eyes. “Such a brat…” He mutters and you bite your cheek. His banter towards you recently has become more playful. Yet based on your observations, it seems to be some kind of defense he uses, so you haven’t given it much thought.

“Try this.” Sylus passes his glass over to you and stares down expectantly. Your eyes narrow as you assess why. He scoffs in amusement, “Tell her I didn’t poison it.” He motions towards the bartender who cackles in response.

“He paid to have this whiskey imported. Just got it in this morning. It’s top tier. Worth a try.” She smiles kindly, bringing over a new glass and setting it in front of you, pouring the contents into the bottle.

You swirl the liquor and then bring it to your lips. You look up and he is watching with a content expression. Waiting patiently for your critique. You take a sip with caution. Your eyes widen as you swallow. It is very smooth. The burn is satisfying and not harsh like the usual cheap bourbon you drink. “Mmm…” You nod with satisfaction.

He looks pleased with himself after your response. “One of my favorites. I knew you would appreciate it.” You take a longer drink humming. You give him a thumbs up and he chuckles.

“Please refrain from telling me how much this cost you. It would make me enjoy it less.” You warn him with a glare and he smiles brightly.

“I love seeing the expressions you make when I ruin things for you. One of the reasons I keep coming back here.” He teases you ruffling your hair, his light touch no longer fazing you.

“Sadist.” You mutter but you smirk as you finish off the fancy whiskey. The bottle still sits between you so he pours you more. You glance at him and he just nods, letting you know it’s fine. You gladly drink oblige.

You want to ask him why he came here. What brought him through that dingy wooden door. It felt like a line that both of you weren’t ready to cross just yet.

“It cost…” you gasp and reach up covering his mouth in a panic. His eyes crinkle with mirth, his lips soft against your palm.

“Sylus…” You warn and then feel his teeth dig into your flesh gently. “What are you, a dog?” You remove your hand chastising him and he laughs.

“Sweetie, I’ve been called that and more.” His voice drips with seduction, naturally. You almost feel jealous about how easy it is for him. How easy it is to make your skin heat up with a string of words and tone.

You roll your eyes, your frustration directed more to yourself than to him. Your fumbling and awkward demeanor forever being called cute.

“What are you thinking about?” Sylus leans closer, as he sips. Those red eyes scanning your face in curiosity. You shove him away but he still waits for an answer, never offended.

“Nothing.” You say the usual reply and pour more. He clicks his teeth. “Everything. All at once.” You continue and he looks intrigued, resting his chin on his hand.

“The curse of the overthinker.” He says and you nod. “Must be difficult.” You nod unable to maintain eye contact. “It’s better to just live in the moment. You should give it a try sometime.”

A prickle of irritation runs down your spine. “As if it’s that easy.” You growl not meaning to sound so annoyed. This does not deter Sylus, it almost looks as if it excites him.

“It could be.” His voice so matter of fact, you mock him. Your body freezes as he grabs your chin and tilts it towards him forcing you to face him. “Don’t be such a wimp.”

Rage bubbled to the surface, the kind that had been building up for years. A dam that had been battered and never repaired. The cracks slowly leaking over time, bursting to life. “That look is intoxicating.” The arrogant bastard spouted out with a twisted mannerism.

“You are fucked up Sylus. I’m sure that’s how you ended up here at this shitty bar.” You say venom laced in your words which only made him smile larger.

“A similar broken soul.” He says nonchalantly with a shrug. “I wish I could wear my expressions as freely as you do.” He admits his face showing nothing.

“You could.” You say condescendingly, “You're just a wimp.” You grab the bottle from the counter and take a long swig directly. This conversation seemed dangerous. A rough way of getting to truly know each other.

His eyes lower for a millisecond. Then he releases your chin and his whole body shakes as he laughs, a genuine sound. It bounces around the empty bar.

“Closing time.” The bartender reminds us as you continue to grimace at him. She nervously looks back and forth. You take in a breath, burying the anger as fast as it had appeared.

“Already…” Sylus mutters looking at his phone surprised. “That’s a shame.” He almost looks truly disappointed. You felt bad for snapping back at him.

“Are you hungry?” You ask him and his eyebrows raise. “Well?” You begin to gather your things as he processes your question.

“Are you inviting me back to your place?” He asks cheekily and you groan. You elbow him as he tries to move closer.

“Hell no! There is a pizza truck down the street.” You counter as the bartender closes his tab and tosses the empty bottle of expensive whiskey in the trash. You see her laugh, you both become a form of entertainment for her.

“That makes more sense. You would never be so bold.” He says as he starts following you out. You turn to him, crossing your arms.

“Are you hungry or not? Cuz this can be goodnight.” You stand tall even as he towers over you. “But it seems you weren’t ready for the night to end yet. Need to be distracted from something a bit longer.”

A strange silence fills the space between you. You see him contemplating if he has let you get too close. “So clever. Yes I can eat.” He opens the door for you and you walk out without a response.

~

You watch him stare at the grease as he lifts the large slice of pizza. “It won’t kill you.” You say as you take a large bite and make a pleased sound. The bread is the perfect combo to soak up the alcohol.

“Says you…” He whispers, hesitant but takes a tiny bite. You smile when he goes for a bigger one quickly after.

The metal bench was cold even through your jeans, the air felt good against your flush face. The night was quiet as you both ate without speaking another word. The strange comfort of having someone beside you is nice for a change. You admit you weren’t ready to go home either.

“You are a kind person.” Sylus speaks up taking you by surprise. You see he has finished his food in record time.

“You don’t know me.” You say matter of fact. Your thoughts tell you differently. Everyday bombarding you with mistakes from your past. This man, this stranger who appeared could not understand.

“It’s your actions. I can tell that those who see you regularly appreciate you.” He continues, and you don’t know how to respond. You don’t want to accept this.

“You never once make me feel unwelcomed. I know you could tell I was bad news the moment your eyes landed on me.” He explains as you finish your slice. You hold out your hand to take his napkin to toss. He grabs it and kisses your knuckles brazenly.

“Napkin weirdo.” You scold him and he chuckles, handing it to you. You get up and throw them away. Sitting back down and lifting the water bottle to your lips you take a long gulp.

“I want to get to know you.” Sylus blurts out and you finally look up at him. He looks like when you first met him, stoic and serious. “Don’t you dare utter why.” His voice is demanding and leaves no room to rebuttal.

“Why should I get to know you?” You ask instead. You see him processing your question. Giving it true consideration. You sense he was not used to others questioning him.

“It would be fun. Probably unhealthy and addictive. Just like your bourbon.” He was so confident. Shame probably was not a concept he could comprehend. It was damn intriguing.

“Tell me why you walked into the bar.” You borrow his temerity, wearing it for a second. It felt foreign and strange but not wrong.

“Love.” He says the word like a curse. You are taken back by the pure disgust on his face. So much emotion, you wonder what that feels like.

“So a broken heart then?” You ask and he just nods. “One sided?” Sylus bites his lip and if his expression was not so somber you would have found it attractive.

“Have you ever been in love?” He does not answer but counters. The past creeps up into your peripheral and you cringe. “That was a yes.”

“I was married once.” You answer, “But not sure if it was love. I felt numb most of the time. Or anxious.” He frowns at your statement, a slight sense of anger lingered in his eyes for a second.

“You didn’t deserve that.” You turn to him with a flat expression. He looks back still so assured. It pissed you off now. The way this man could ignite the flames long put out.

“I could have. Stop assuming.” You shiver as the wind turns bitter. You look at the time and sigh. “I like it when you're at the bar.” You finally admit and he nods.

“I’m glad I walked in.” He responds, again the calm silence. “It’s getting late. Let me walk you home.” He stands looking to the sky at the moon above. He looks weary and forlorn. Yet so very beautiful. There is no way he was real.

“I can walk by myself. This is my turf anyways. I’m not too far.” You explain stretching. The food settling nicely, your mind not clouded by the haze of liquor now.

“There has been some increase in muggings in this area. Let me feel like a good guy just this once.” You nod and he thanks you. You walk next to each other shoulders inches apart. You know he is slowing his pace based on his long legs. He was thoughtful even if he wanted to be painted as the opposite.

“Here we are. Have a goodnight Y/N.” Lost in your thoughts you arrived home quicker than expected. On autopilot you look around and then thank him.

“Night.” You say and go to place your key in the door. As you turn to open it you come to a realization. Sylus leads you to your door as if he had walked it before. You turned around but he was already down the street. The warning bells that first alerted you rang again but there was this strange tingle in your chest, possible excitement?

[honeyrisuke]

also if i see one more fucking post saying "in northern europe you are unlikely to be offered food" and this claim is SOLELY based on american cultural understandings i'm gonna turn that fucking wording around on yall real quick

bc i think its horribly fucking rude to already be invited to someones house, then not communicate what you want AT ALL and just EXPECT to be able to stay over for as long as you want without pissing off after what you met up to do is over and also expect to be catered to exactly how you want and like it, all without even saying a goddamn word. it gives "Karen"

[thebestusernamepossible]

I think a really underrated character duo in gravity falls is Dipper and Stan. Like one, I think they are way more similar than people give them credit for. Like Dipper is definitely the one who feels like the ‘inferior’ twin (internally on his part), something reflected in Stan. Also Dipper is generally pretty cunning and willing to throw punches in a Stan-way, you can see Stan rubbing off on him as the show progresses. Dipper in the Stan costume, and that one scene where Stan and Dipper both cross their fingers at the same time for the same promise, both live in my head rent free. In my heart of hearts I think Dipper picks up a bit of Stans con-man tricks in the future (and Mabel goes on some bonding missions w/ Ford, but this post isn’t abt them). Also I just want to say I bet Dipper reminded Stan of a young Ford and that informed some of their early dynamic. Anyway bye just needed this brainworm out

[deoidesign]

I have a question, but it may be already have been answered in the story (my brain is just not the best with memory).

Since vampirism symbolises for you chronical illness (which, omg, that is a hot take I've never thought off before and love from now on), does Steve count as chronical ill, too, with the whole halfvampire thing going on? So, would his uncontrollable time jumping each month be a symptom of that chronical illness?

not in the story, no worries! Just a possible interpretation and my personal intent when writing.

As a small aside I personally don't like to think of chronic illness as something that people "count" as, so to speak, it's an extremely personal label and incredibly varied between individuals and as with all disability there is never such thing as hard lines or black and white... but I understand why you worded it that way and I understand what you're asking.

So, yes, Steve is also chronically ill within this framework. The entire comic is sort of shaped around this, to be honest! I mean he canonically has some pretty extreme memory issues... He's also canonically homeless (not that this is an illness but I just mean it's something I think most people forget about him when discussing him). And, yes, his condition is uncontrollable and is severely impacting his ability to live the life he wants to live.

He has just been barely coping up to the point we meet him, and has been very desperate which is what led him to creating that list of deviations. He has periods where his body is out of his control, he is unable to form relationships, he hurts others without meaning or wanting to... Yeah. He's metaphorically relating to a lot of things, really.

So, yknow, you're welcome to interpret him as you'd like! for me I relate a lot with my various issues and conditions and thus that's why I've projected on him the way I have, but of course I would understand entirely different interpretations of what is inherently metaphorical.