#the last time I felt like this I really was in the wilderness bitch

[maddie-grove]

I have a popular post about how I don’t enjoy it when love stories act like it would undermine the central romance if one or both of the protagonists had a positive experience with an ex or former sexual partner, and I just want to say: it’s really all about the framing.

It’s totally chill if a protagonist has never been in love before, for whatever reason. Maybe they have intimacy issues, or they were literally raised by wolves in the Canadian wilderness, or they’re too busy, or they were a child oblate, or they just never clicked with anyone that way, or they were married to a grotesquely evil Renaissance nobleman. If we’re supposed to be like “awww that’s nice, they are experiencing romantic love for the first time” or “I am so happy that something nice is happening to this girl after her experiences with the horrible duke,” that’s cool.

It’s also fine, in my book, if a protagonist has never had really good sex before. Not everyone has an easy time getting into it and, to be frank, not everyone has the good luck to encounter a considerate or generous lover immediately after becoming sexually active.

Here are some examples where I do think there are problems:

The historical romance author wants to establish that the hero is not a virgin, but she doesn’t want to make him a player and she doesn’t want to give him a bad ex as a source of angst and she doesn’t want him to have been in love before. So she gives him a long-term paid mistress. But, instead of going with “Adrian enjoyed Lily’s company and thought she was pretty/clever/pleasant, but obviously it was a business relationship on both sides,” you get something like “Adrian had never felt anything for Lily. She was merely a vessel for his manly needs.” And it’s like you knew this woman for years! Yet I have warmer feelings towards the friendly lady who works at the pharmacy! What’s wrong with you?

The Regency heroine was happily married to one dude, who died tragically young. She falls in love with her late husband’s best friend, also her friend, who has been in love with her since before the husband died but he never acted on it because it would have been wrong and hurtful to his friend. They both feel a little weird/guilty about getting together, but it’s clear that they aren’t actually disrespecting the late husband’s memory and he’d probably be happy for them if he knew. This is all good and fine, until the hero and heroine are making love and the heroine muses to herself that the hero is better in bed than her late husband. This honestly wouldn’t feel so sour if it had been established at the beginning that they never clicked sexually despite loving each other, but in that moment it feels like a cheap shot at a nice dead guy. And for what? So the audience has no doubt that the hero is the best sex man in the world?

Someone writes a fanfic where Character A has a non-endgame romance with Character C, when eventually Character A will end up with Character B. The A/C romance is obviously not going to last for well-established reasons, but it’s sweet and C is presented sympathetically. Until the author abruptly makes C a bitch in a non-canonical way when it’s time for them to break up, even though that’s far from the most natural way for the breakup to happen.

[cornerofhell]

A small BarclayPierce writing based on @streets-in-paradise 's prompt

"-And then he locked me in the padded cell. The cops didn't think I did any of the murders so they let me out..."

Nica and Andy sat on the porch of the cabin in the woods, sharing stories as they watched the sun set in the cool October air. Nica had just gotten off the phone with Gigi, Tiffany was gonna die hopefully painfully, it just seemed like things were getting better... By telling sad stories.

As Andy finished up the tale of when he'd seen Nica possessed, he stared out into the wilderness, the orange leaves blowing by with a fierce wind. He originally was trying to avoid telling said story, but Nica had pressed him for it.

Nica sat in silence for a second, taking a drag from her cigarette before setting it down with her prosthetic. "You didn't hesitate?"

"For a second as he talked to me, I did. I didn't even know you were alive, throughout the years when he hunted me down I never really had an idea of what happened to the other person. I thought he was just fucking with me because it was well...."

"Just my body?" Nica finished the sentence with a dry chuckle, looking over at the man in the lawn chair.

Andy nodded, taking a sip from the beer bottle in his hand. "I guess I assumed you were already dead and he would just ruin your life more." "Yeahhh." Nica nodded, looking back out to the afternoon air.

The silence spoke for itself. They both knew how much Nica had been screwed over by Chucky and Tiffany both, it didn't have to be re-explained.

The quiet seemed to go on for hours until Andy finally spoke. "I'm sorry."

Nica looked confused before realizing and automatically opened her mouth "Andy, no, it's okay-"

"No! I was there to save you- I thought I could save you, and I failed. For a long time, years. Your trial, your possession, everything with Tiffany, you needed someone. Someone who knew... And I wasn't there... I... I'm sorry."

The woman listened to every word of the man's apology, a sad look upon her features. But she understood... The guilt of who you didn't save us always there. Gently as she could, she rested one of her hooks atop Andy's hand. The bearded man looked up at his roommate, his remorse spread all over his features. He hadn't expressed emotions a lot due to holding it all in, but this time it was coming out a bit.

"Hey... This isn't your fault. None of it is. You shouldn't even be going through this bullshit in the first place, neither of us should. And you tried anyway. That's helping enough. To know someone was willing to take down that son of a bitch and crazy bitch to help people is victory in my eyes." Nica pointed at him with her other hook, "And even then... Andy look around. You did save me. This is the happiest I've been in a while. You haven't failed a damn thing yet."

Andy blinked a little in surprise at the speech he was given. The guilt was still there, as it always would be, but the words had a small comfort to them. Nica was happy here? She felt... Safe? Was that.... All he could do now? Make her feel safe?

"... I'm uh, still pretty sorry, but I'm glad you... I'm glad you're happy."

Nica nodded and smiled a little bit, leaning back against her own lawn chair, removing her prosthetic from Andy's hand to give him space. Andy too leaned back as they watched the last of the sun's rays disappear. The quiet was back.

"Yeah... Though... I would be happier if you learned how to cook." Nica gave a small tease, a sly smirk on her features, referencing their dinner of fruit loops.

The Barclay gave a snort of a laugh in reply to the tone change, using his beer to point in her direction. "Sorry I didn't learn like Gordon Ramsay in military school."

The Pierce let out a laugh- the first in a while, picking up her cigarette. "Maybe it's my time now to save you, then."

"Maybe."

[quill-pen]

I saw a relationship TikTok, and got inspired, and churned this out. Enjoy, fellow Scroogians and Bess stans!

Rated T for some language, innuendo, and emotional abuse/manipulation.

Warnings: Barely edited. Let's walk on the wilder side!

Synopsis: A bachelor party is supposed to be a man's last night of freedom. At least, that's what society claims.

Freedom: A Timeless Scroogeverse ficlet

Bess bit down on her tongue to try and quell the torrent of annoyance bubbling up inside of her. She gripped her notepad so tightly her knuckles turned white. "Oliver, please?" she beseeched her fiancé for what must have been the fiftieth time in the last hour. "Can we try to focus on getting some wedding planning done right now? Even just the basics?" She tried to keep her tone even and non-accusatory, but still serious to let the young man know she was serious.

Olive seemed to have not heard her as he continued to focus solely on his game. "Oh-hooooo! Get rekt, bitch-ass!" He blew some rival player in half and leveled up. "Boo-yah! Sorry, babe, what were you saying?"

Bess was just about ready to grab the gaming system, the headphones, and the controller, and chuck the whole thing out the window, but then she would be sans all of it considering it was hers, so she refrained. "Oliver, honey, please!" Fifty-one. "Just give me fifteen minutes--even ten. Just to jot down some ideas for our wedding or get some dos and don'ts."

Oliver rolled his eyes as he released a heavy, long-suffering sigh. "I thought the wedding planning was all the girl's thing," he grumbled as he began to jump into another level.

"I mean, yeah, it's kinda turned into that, unfortunately. But I don't want it to be that way with us; we're both getting married, after all--it's both our wedding. We should both have a say." She sat in silence for a minute and waited to see if he would respond. None came. Typical. Bordering on desperation, Bess reached out, paused the game, and moved to stand in between Oliver and the screen. Then she grabbed the controller from his hands and sat it out of the way.

Oliver glared at her. "Hey!" he snapped. "What the hell, Specks--I'm playing! I'm going for the record of most kills in an hour!"

"And you can go back to that after we get some basics covered," Bess shot back, glowering right back at him. "We need at least six months to get stuff ready for the wedding, Oliver--we've put this off long enough. We need to have stuff decided by the end of February."

"Ugh! Fine! Anything to make you stop bitching and leave me alone!"

Bess felt a familiar twinge in her soul at those words and for a moment her resolve wavered. But she stayed. "Have you decided what color you want?

"Sure. Green."

The girl gave him a flat look. "Really?"

Oliver gave her a questioning look. "What? What's wrong with green."

"Nothing. Except I know your favorite shade of green and considering my color is yellow, we might as well just have John Deere decorate the entire thing for us."

Oliver's eyes sparked with an idea. "Hey, you think maybe-"

"No, I don't think they'd actually do it. Not that it matters because it wouldn't happen on my watch anyway."

Oliver crossed his arms stubbornly and stuck his nose in the air. "Well, if I can't have my green, you can't have yellow."

Bess shrugged. "Fine. We'll go secondary colors. Mine's lavender."

"Camo."

"We're not having camo for a wedding color."

"Why not?"

"A) It's not a color--it's a pattern. B) You don't even like the cool-looking camo--you like the ugly, realistic type hunters wear. C) If we have camo at our wedding, you and your buddies are gonna be making invisibility jokes the whole ceremony and reception, and I'm gonna wanna bash your heads in for it."

"Aw, come on, Specks. Just think about it: Me in a camo tux and my best man looking around all confused and going, "Who's she supposed to be marrying?" It would get so many laughs! Classic!"

"Ha-ha, yeah, no--you're not getting camo. Pick a color."

"Fine. Brown."

"Okay. Lavender and brown--those are nice, we can totally work with them."

Oliver sighed. "Great," he grumbled. "We got the colors figured. Can I play my game now?"

"It's my game because I bought it with my money, and no, not just yet. We still need to decide on our parties."

"What's there to decide? We're havin' 'em. Ain't nothin' gonna stop me from getting my bachelor party, I'll tell ya that right now."

"Fair enough."

Oliver snorted in superiority. "Hmph! Like I was 'bout to be cheated outta my strippers--yeah, right."

Bess paused in her notetaking. An uncomfortable sensation settled in the pit of her stomach like a boulder and refused to leave. "S-St-Strippers?" she just barely managed to croak out. She continued to stare at her notepad, unable to find the strength to look up at her fiancé. She felt her cheeks flush with heat.

"Of course," Oliver answered unashamedly, dismissively. "What else would you have at a bachelor party?"

Bess gnawed on her bottom lip, anxiously tapping the tip of her pencil against the notepad. "Uh--ahem!--a-are you s-sure you want strippers?" she asked, her voice sounding meek, small, and pathetic. Fitting--she felt pathetic.

Oliver threw back his head in a biting laugh at that question. "Specks, that's what a bachelor party's for! That's the only thing it's for! Why have one otherwise if you can't hire hot babes to get naked and grind on your lap? It'd be a waste of money! Besides, strippers at bachelor parties are tradition, and you know how I am about tradition."

Bess finally lifted her head just enough to peek out at the boy from underneath her hair. "You think traditions are stupid and meaningless," she pointed out quietly.

Oliver's eyes widened a bit and his face flushed; he'd been caught out. "Ahem! Well... I-I've changed my mind." His momentary flummoxing faded away and he looked confident and cocky again. "I mean, I am an engaged man after all--I'm growing." He reached around Bess and grabbed up the controller again. "Now, can we be done, Specks? Racing the clock for my record-breaking moment here." He grabbed Bess by the arm and rather forcefully pulled her out of the way of the computer. For added measure, he gave her a rather hard swat on the rump to send her on her way. "Love ya, babe. Mind makin' me a snack?"

Bess staggered a few steps away with a yelp. She reached around to rub her stinging buttock, and stood there a moment in a daze, still processing the conversation. Then she turned back to her fiancé. "O-Oliver?" she stammered voice still quieter than she would have liked. "Ollie... I-I think we need to talk more. A-About this stripper thing?"

"You volunteering to find some good strippers for me?" Oliver asked over his shoulder. He was already back to sprinting through the map to locate his next target. "'Cuz otherwise, I gotta rely on Mack and the guys, and you and I both know he's kinda an idiot for stuff like this and might get duped into hiring some fat, old, slobby wannabes looking to make a quick buck through Craig's List or some shit. I don't want wannabes--I want real, professional strippers."

Bess stared at him for a long moment, not quite believing what she was hearing. Oliver had never been particularly empathetic or even that great of a guy, but to ask her--his betrothed--to "find him some good strippers" for his bachelor party? This seemed like an entirely new layer of scummy Bess had yet to encounter. "I..." Bess began, then stopped. She tried to think of what to say: She wasn't always the greatest at putting her feelings into words Oliver could understand. "Oliver... I don't like the idea of strippers."

"That's okay. You don't have to watch them."

"Oliver, me watching them is not the problem; you watching them is what I don't like."

Oliver paused his game and swiveled around to look at his fiancée. "That right?" he asked, a certain edge to his voice.

Bess felt her anxiety spike with that tone. "I-It makes me uncomfortable," she stuttered, gripping her notepad tight and close to her chest, almost as if it were a shield. "The idea of you watching and getting rubbed on by naked women that aren't me... it feels... gross."

Oliver looked her up and down, his face unfathomable. That just made Bess more nervous. "Okay," he said after a moment with a non-committal shrug. "So, I'll tell the girls they can't get naked and rub up on me."

Bess shook her head. "That's not really the point--naked or scantily clad, I don't like the idea of you interacting with other women in any kind of sexual manner. It makes me feel... disrespected."

Oliver was tensely quiet for a minute. "So... what else do you think I should do instead?" he pressed, an angry bit to his voice. "If you're too insecure to trust me around other women?"

Bess felt tears sting her eyes at that accusation. "Ollie, I do trust you-"(at least she tried her best to)"-I just don't see why you need attention like that from any other women but me. I don't need it from any other guys but you." The girl prayed her fiancé would see her case; the idea of going on much longer with this conversation was a nightmare.

"I don't need it," Oliver corrected her. "I want it."

That doesn't make it better. "But why?"

"Because I'm a dude, Specks: I like it. Besides, don't I deserve to be treated real good on my last night of freedom?"

Bess was at a loss as to what to say to that. "I-I-I-"

"Look, babe, just because you're not as hot as a stripper doesn't mean you gotta worry me being snatched away by one of 'em okay?" Oliver's voice was infuriatingly patronizing. "After all, everyone knows you don't get caught up with a nine or ten. The fours through sixes are the marriage material girls." The boy had the audacity to wink up at her with a smirk. "And I've got my cute little five picked," he stated. "Ain't nothin' changing that."

Bess had never felt more disgusted. Or disgusting. She knew, objectively, she didn't rank above average in attractiveness and, even then, wasn't on the higher end of average either. But to learn that her own fiancé--the man she was about to marry and spend the rest of her life with--didn't even find her above average subjectively? The girl felt as gutted as a dead fish.

"O-Oliver... please..." she tried to continue, trying to hide her heartbreak and humiliation, "... I really don't think-"

"Oh, my god!" Oliver suddenly erupted, his face going dark. "It's not that big a deal--just let it go, Bess! Shit, you can be so controlling, ya know that? It's not my problem you feel like a fugly cow and can't handle other girls giving me attention!"

Bess stepped back in wide-eyed surprise. Oliver had never snapped at her quite like that before! A slight sting burning in her eyes, the dark-haired girl shook her head and started pleading: "O-Ollie, p-please-"

"It's my last night of freedom before I get stuck with you for the rest of my life--it's not gonna hurt anything to just let me have this one thing for one night. It's not like I'm gonna have it ever again! Jesus--Mom warned me about you being a bridezilla: Can't believe she was right! How fucking entitled are you to think you have any say in how I spend my last night of freedom?"

"You're right!" Bess suddenly blurted, desperate to get him to calm down. His yelling was quickly turning her nerves raw. "Y-You're completely right. I don't have any right to tell you how to plan your bachelor party or any say in what you do for it. It's your special night, and you deserve to be treated... y-you deserve to be treated."

The thundercloud that had quickly arisen in Oliver's eyes just as quickly evaporated away. He smiled rather triumphantly. Even smugly. "Glad you're finally seeing reason, Specks," he crooned. "I was afraid we were gonna have to call everything off. I'm not about to be stuck in a toxic relationship like some lame-ass chump. Love ya and everything, babe, but Oliver Sprague ain't no fucking simp!" He spun back around to start up his game again. "Now I need some peace and quiet, babe. Still got time to beat the record if I move fast enough!"

Left in a welling, dizzying pool of emotions, Bess simply turned to leave without a word, shutting the door behind her. Then, before she knew it, she was running, sprinting down the hall to the bathroom. With no time to lift the toilet lid, she lunged for the tub and spewed into it violently, painting the slick, off-white surface with partially digested food. She heaved over and over again until her stomach decided it was empty enough and wouldn't send anything else up.

Coughing and panting, tears and snot streaming down her face, Bess fumbled with one hand towards the faucet and turned the water on full bore. She changed to the shower setting to wash her puke down the drain. Then, exhausted and overwhelmed with emotions, the young woman collapsed against the side of the tub and sobbed. "I can't do this! I can't do this! I can't do this! I can't do this!"

Bess had never felt more trapped than while hearing her fiancé talk about his last night of freedom.

Bess stopped at the bottom of the steps to, once again, check the contents of the basket over her arm. For a brief moment, she feared she forgot the mustard, but, after double checking underneath a stack of napkins she thought she might have placed over the jar, she was reassured she hadn't and that everything was in its place. Whistling a little tune to herself, the woman mounted the steps and entered the two-story, Victorian-age, brick bank. The electronic tone announcing her arrival chimed throughout the floor.

"Be with you in just a moment!" a female, American voice called out.

Bess smiled as she turned her attention to the desk tucked behind a partition to her right. Behind the half-wall, sat a familiar copper-colored bun skewered with a pair of pencils in front of a computer monitor. "Hey," Bess greeted as she approached the desk. "Anybody order lunch?" She sat the basket on the desk and beamed ear to ear as that copper ponytail and the woman it was attached to rocketed around in her swivel chair to face her. "Hey, Con."

Her former housemate and best friend, Constance DoGoode (soon to be Scrooge) grinned back at her. "Did you say 'lunch'?" she asked.

Giggling, Bess reached in and pulled out a wax-paper-wrapped bundle. "Know anybody around here who likes toasted bagel sandwiches with salmon, avocado, arugula, cheddar, pickles, and tomato?"

Connie was immediately reaching for the paper-wrapped sandwich. "Oh, my goodness, I love you!" she exclaimed. "I'm famished! You'd be surprised how hungry inputting and adding up numbers can make you!"

"I have a feeling it'd just piss me off," Bess snorted as she watched her sister figure rip off the wax paper and chomp with a crunch into her sandwich. A little wave of anxious anticipation twinged through her. "How is it?"

Eyes closed, Connie raised a hand and slowly chewed her bite of sandwich. Finally, she swallowed. "This..." she began, slowly looking up at her friend with a bright grin, "... has got to be the best thing you've ever put together, Bess!" She dove back in for another bite. "Oh my god--so good!"

Relief washed over the dark-haired woman. "I tried something a little different this time. Gal asked me to help her come up with some new condiments and sauces for the cafe and pub. I decided to try a peppercorn mayo and I used it on your sandwich. What do you think? Any good?"

"Amazing!" Connie exclaimed around a mouthful of sandwich. "It adds the perfect little zing to everything; just the right amount of heat."

Bess beamed. "Good. Oh, and there's this." She reached again into the basket and pulled out a brown lunch sack. "There's some dessert in here, and a couple jalapeño poppers leftover from what I made for dinner last night with Wolf and Carl. And..." she reached in again and brought forth a little thermos decorated in cute, smiling cartoon suns and sunflowers, "... some pink lemonade that Mr. Cobblebottom brought over this morning." She sat both the thermos and sack down and pushed them towards Connie.

The redhead smiled up at her. "You're the greatest, ya know?" she remarked affectionately. "An absolute gem. Have I told you that lately?"

Bess smirked mischievously. "You could stand to mention it more," she teased with a playful wink. She turned her head in the direction of the back-office space and found it was empty. "The boys?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow at Connie.

Connie quirked an eyebrow towards the ceiling in indication. "Surprise business meeting."

There was suddenly a sound like the scraping of chairs on floors and the clattering of footsteps overhead.

"Sounds like they're done," Connie stated. "Right on time."

Bess turned her attention to the small stairwell on the left side of the room to see a group of people she recognized as the Scrooges' business associates and didn't know by name, come streaming out. Out with them came Bob, Ebenezer, and Ebenezar. The men were all still talking to one another, relaying their last opinions about whatever they'd been discussing, settling plans, and recounting short anecdotes.

A particularly short, round little man with a purple-red complexion and a walrus mustache was monopolizing Bess' dear Ebenezar's--or Wolf's--attention. "Listen, Benny-boy," he was saying, his voice a bit louder and more boisterous than the others, "all I'm saying is I've known you and your brother a long time--practically since you started in this business when old Marley hired you boys. I found out about your brother's wedding too late to put forth my candidacy to be the Best Man, but I'm not too late to do it for your wedding."

Wolf was looking rather annoyed (accurate, considering he hated anyone but those closest to him to refer to him as "Benny-boy"--and even then, he only liked to hear it from Magda) and uncomfortable. "That's most generous of you, Mr. Tittersmyth," he replied, trying to be as polite as possible. "But my brother is going to fill that roll."

Mr. Tittersmyth wasn't giving up. "Wait, wait--I haven't finished yet," he stated, completely unfazed. "As your best man, I'll make sure you get to have as much say in your wedding preparations as possible; because I'll be honest with you, my boy, women? You have to do battle to wrest any sort of control from them when it comes to a wedding! Otherwise, you're going to end up with a frilly, frou-frouy, powderpuff wedding that focuses solely on your bride, and you're just standing there beside her like a well-dressed doorstop. The very idea of a wedding--of a marriage--caters almost exclusively to the feminine sensibilities. We men have to fight for our voices to be heard or risk losing our very identity! Trust me, I know. Happened at my first two weddings; Everything was what my brides wanted--I was lucky to choose what color I wanted, and even then, I was given options to pick from. I don't know why neither of them liked my first choice: Pea green goes quite well with magenta and lilac, wouldn't you say so, Ben?"

Wolf looked at a complete loss for words. He began to flicker his gaze around the room to find something--anything--to use as a life-preserver in this sinking conversation. Instantly, his eyes fell on Bess. Immediately the banker lit up like a supernova, his fake smile turning into a genuine grin, his eyes softening with adoration and sparkling with joy. "Bess! My beautiful, wonderful darling!" he practically laughed. He strode towards her, looking like he was trying very hard to not break into a run to get away from Mr. Tittersmyth. In just a few strides of his long legs, the man was sweeping the woman up into his embrace and kissing her fully, unabashedly, somewhat gratefully.

Bess squeaked in some alarm at the sudden onslaught of blatant affection with such a professional audience in the room, but then she much too easily sunk into it. Her insides liquified to mush that bubbled and tickled in the most delightful way. She held her man's jaw in her hands to keep him close and let her eyes drift shut as she angled deeper into the kiss. The Yank felt breathless and lighter than air.

"Well, golly," Bess giggled when they finally broke the lip-lock. "What a welcome. Do you greet everyone who shows up in your office like that?"

"If this business deal goes off as planned," one of the associates stated with a chuckle, "I'll greet all of you boys like that next time I come in here." She sent a wry smirk Ebenezer's and Bob's way. A wink followed.

Bob blinked at the woman before turning to Ebenezer. "I feel like there's a threat in there somewhere," he stated only half-jokingly.

Ebenezer laughed awkwardly. He laid a hand on Bob's shoulder and gently ushered him away from the woman.

"What are you doing here, Brightness?" Wolf inquired, quirking a bushy brow. "I wasn't expecting you."

Bess shrugged within his arms. "Well, this morning, when you mentioned we probably wouldn't be able to go out for lunch because of all the work you had to get done, and that you probably wouldn't be going out for a lunch break at all, I decided I'd bring lunch to all of you."

"Isn't she just the greatest?" Connie chirped from behind her desk. She was never one to let a moment of praise for her loved ones slip by.

Wolf's eyes softened to a heartbreaking degree as he gazed upon the woman in his arms. "Yes," he agreed, speaking just loudly enough for his fiancée to hear. "The greatest, most amazing, most spectacular woman."

Bess blushed.

"Bess, you didn't have to do this," Ebenezer stated with an affectionate smile.

The dark-haired woman shrugged. "I know," she stated. "But it's no biggie. I'm off shift today and had the time. Besides, I enjoy cooking and making sure my people are taken care of." She smiled adoringly up at her fiancé who, in turn, bowed his head and touched his brow to hers. She bit back another girlish giggle.

"How utterly... traditional and domestic," the female associate replied. It was probably meant as a compliment, but the way she said it with such apparent disgust made it hard to take in a positive way. "I should go--my driver's waiting. I'll see you boys next time." She shook hands with Ebenezer and Bob (as well as rather coyly straightening his lapels and picking a piece of lint off his shoulder with rather suggestive finger movements) but bypassed Wolf altogether. For a second, she paused in front of the embracing couple as if in contemplation, then, with a look of distaste, moved on out the door.

The other associates slowly filtered out after her, all saying goodbye to the boys and the girls as well. A few slapped both Scrooge twins on the back with quiet little remarks along the lines of "You lucky fools," as they unashamedly ogled the women. Eventually, the only associate left in the room with the group of friends was old Mr. Tittersmyth. The stocky little man--a good two to three inches shorter than both Connie and Bess--approached the Wolves, his beady little eyes trained solely on Bess.

Seeing a hunger in his gaze, Bess shifted closer to her beloved, feeling even safer when his grip on her tightened and he moved a bit to stand between her and the man. Her grip on Wolf's waistcoat tightened as she pressed into his side.

"Well, well, well," Mr. Tittersmyth chuckled. "I've seen her pictures in the news, but are you going to finally introduce me to your pretty little vixen, Ben old boy?" The little businessman rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, looking much too eager for either Bess or Wolf's tastes.

The couple exchanged a look. Wolf was uncertain, as he didn't want to introduce his bride-to-be to such a lecher as he knew Mr. Tittersmyth to be. However, as lecherous as he could be, Tittersmyth was most definitely an important cog in the London business world and could either make future business proceedings and philanthropic ventures easier for the Scrooges, or much, much harder depending on if they pleased or displeased him; Tittersmyth was known to be excessively petty. Of course, despite all that, Bess' comfort and desires were the number one concern for Wolf, how ever Tittersmyth might end up feeling.

Picking up on her fiancé's silent inquiry, Bess smiled and nodded. Not that it didn't make her skin crawl, but she could make acquaintance with the old man. For the future her future husband and brother-in-law wanted, she could play nice with an old creep.

Wolf returned her small smile and nodded back. "Mr. Tittersmyth," he sighed, trying not to sound reluctant as he looked back at his associate, "this is my fiancée--Bess Sullivan."

"Bess," Tittersmyth repeated, his voice low and growly. He seemed to taste and savor her name, enunciating slowly and dragging out the 's' as though he were a snake. "What a lovely name."

Bess shivered. "Thank you," she replied quietly. Somehow, she managed to keep a smile on her face.

Wolf's fingers on her waist tightened. "Bess, Darling," he continued on, voice sounding a bit strained as he tried to keep civil, "this is an old associate of the business, Mr. Richard Tittersmyth."

"A pleasure," Tittersmyth said, extending a hand toward Bess. "You may call me 'Dick', Love." He gripped the woman's hand tightly when she placed it in his.

"That's kind," Bess returned as politely as she could. Her stomach lurched when she recognized that the man was going in to kiss her knuckles and wrenched her hand from his grip. "But I'm afraid I'm not comfortable with that, seeing as we just met, Mr. Tittersmyth."

Tittersmyth didn't seem a bit put out or fazed. Instead, his gaze grew darker as he leered again up at Bess, and he chuckled. "Feisty young thing," he remarked, folding his hands behind his back. "Knows her mind, I think." He took a step closer, angling to move around Wolf and get closer to Bess.

"That she does," Ebenezer cut in. He stepped in between Tittersmyth and his brother, as his twin--while pulling Bess further behind him--had now dropped his congenial mask and looked like he wanted to reach out to knock the fat little encroacher clean off his feet. "Bess is quite a self-assured woman of conviction."

"Ah, all the more reason to have me as your best man, wouldn't you say, Benny-boy?" Tittersmyth chuckled looking around one brother to the next. "I can make sure this pretty thing doesn't run roughshod over you with the planning." A sly smirk curled the man's lips, making his walrus mustache arch into grin. "And, uh, should it happen that your little woman needs some... extra entertainment-" he winked up at the tall billionaire rather conspiratorially, "-I'd be more than obliged to offer my assistance."

Bess felt both offended and nauseous at once. Bob spluttered on another thermos of lemonade he'd snuck over to take from the basket. Connie made a disgusted exclamation before clamping a hand over her ruby red lips. Ebenezer went white and glanced back over his shoulder at his brother.

Wolf looked borderline murderous, face red with that infamous vein popping and pulsing along his temple, jaw clenched so tight his teeth grinded, mouth and eyes drawn narrowly, hands clenching tight into a fist and onto Bess. He actually snarled, but only loud enough for both his brother and Bess to hear. The man made to move towards the little cad, but the tightening of his fiancée's grip and the shifting of his brother to stand even more in between Tittersmyth and himself stopped him. "I've been in the saunas with you, Tittersmyth," Wolf spat. "The only way you could possibly entertain Bess would be in the comic sense. Otherwise you would be of very pitiful and little assistance."

Bess bit her lip and shoved her face into Wolf's side to try and fight back the laughter that response threatened to summon from deep inside her. Connie snorted a bit, herself, and quickly swiveled around to face her computer to hide her goofy face.

Tittersmyth didn't even blink. He launched immediately into raucous laughter, grabbing at his round, jiggling belly. "HAAAAhahahaha! Oh, Ben! Good old Benny-boy! You always were the best one for wit and jokes." The little man, met Bess' eyes as she peeked out from her man's side and winked at her as he jutted a finger towards Wolf. "He's always liked to tease me, this one," he stated with a wide grin. "He can cut to the quick with it sometimes, but I know he's fond of me. Aren't you, Benny-boy?"

"As fond as two like magnetic poles."

That just made Tittersmyth laugh harder. "What a laugh you are, Ben!" he exclaimed as he slipped his hat on and turned to leave. "What a laugh!"

He was about to walk out the door when he paused and turned back to the group. "Just saying, Ben," he said, a singsong in his voice, "have me as your best man, and I'll get you the best exotic dancers for your stag."

If it were possible, Wolf's face flushed even darker red as his whole body went rigid. "Leave. This. Instant!" he barked savagely.

Tittersmyth did not drop his jovial smile. "Just keep it in mind, my boy." And with that, the codger finally left, whistling jauntily as he went.

The tension finally eased out of the air as Tittersmyth faded from view.

Sighing heavily in weariness, Wolf relaxed in Bess' grip and turned his full attention back to her. "I'm so sorry you were subjected to that... indecorous manner, Brightness," he murmured regretfully. The man lifted a large hand and gently brushed a curl of hair from his lover's face before stroking the backs of his fingers along her jawline as she gazed up at him. He felt the anger and irritation melt away as he gazed into those velvety, midnight eyes of hers. "I was hoping to prepare you a bit more for your first meeting with Tittersmyth, instead of having him thrust upon you like today."

Bess smiled reassuringly up at him. Standing up on tip-toe, she cupped his jaw in her hands and pressed a soft kiss to his cheekbone. "It's okay," she assured him, nuzzling the kiss in. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't know I was coming to try and warn me away."

Wolf hugged her tighter. "I am happy you came, though," he whispered as he nuzzled her back. "I'm happy you're here." A kiss was pressed tenderly to her brow.

Bess giggled and gently pulled away from him and out of his grip, grabbing his large hands in hers as she did. "Well, you'll be even happier when you see the lunch I brought you. No working on empty tummies today, boys. There's plenty for everyone." She led her fiancé to the basket sitting on the desk that the other two men and Connie were back to investigating.

The next hour or so was filled with warm laughter and camaraderie as the group took up chairs and lunched together, both ladies opting to take seats in their respective fiancés' laps. The men quickly filled the women in on what the meeting had been about, then spent the rest of the time chattering and laughing about the bank's associates. (Tittersmyth, of course, was a particular target for mockery.) The bank was filled with good vibes and cheer.

Even so, as Bess sat in Wolf's lap, laughing with the others and teasing him by snitching off his food and drink, she felt a familiar sensation niggling deep in her stomach--one she hadn't felt for a long time. Tittersmyth's comment about exotic dancers kept playing through her head: No matter how hard she tried to push it down and forget about it, she simply couldn't. And that was what brought back the old feelings of disgust, anxiety, and inadequacy. She was starting to feel exactly as she had when she'd been engaged to Oliver. And no matter how hard Bess tried to reassure herself that her amazing Wolf was nothing like Oliver Sprague, the feelings simply would not leave her in peace.

Bess sat at the dining room table in Wolf's penthouse flat. The beautiful mahogany table had, yet again, been turned into a wedding planning station, just as it had every other night since they'd gotten engaged. While initially intimidated by the process as her first attempt with it had been a complete nightmare (ending in a bad breakup), the woman had quickly come to enjoy the process. There was something incredibly satisfying and confidence-boosting about making and solidifying wedding plans. And when you actually had a partner that could be mature about it and actually wanted to participate in the process, it could even be fun. Bess had actually started to become excited for the planning sessions.

But not tonight.

Tonight, Bess' mind was racing to the point she felt sick. She was still thinking about Tittersmyth and his parting comment. She was still about exotic dancers and stag parties. Her fingers drummed out a nervous beat on the table while her feet tapped rapidly to keep up.

She tried to calm herself with the facts of the scene. Wolf had seemed extremely angry with that comment and had insisted Tittersmyth leave; even so, Bess' proclivity to overthink and be anxious refused to take comfort in that knowledge. What if he'd just gotten upset because Tittersmyth had mentioned the topic in front of her? Could it be possible Wolf actually wanted strippers for his stag? Pre-marriage parties and strippers seemed to go hand-in-hand--like it was some rite of passage or something. Bess had made it clear to her girls early on she was not into that scene: She wasn't the sort of woman that wanted to watch some random man strip down and give her a lap dance. She'd also thought Wolf wasn't that kind of man, but could she have been wrong? It was his stag party--his last night of freedom after all. It was a bit different than just going to a club some random night in the week to watch women get naked and ride poles: A stag was a special celebration for a man. Was it really that big a deal to celebrate with a naked woman who wasn't her so long as there was no funny business?

Bess didn't know how to answer that, she just knew it made her feel sicker than ever. Sicker even than when she'd gone through this fiasco with Oliver.

A hand suddenly gripped onto her shoulder, ripping the American from her thoughts and causing her to scream in alarm. She tried to whirl around to face whoever grabbed her, but she upset her chair in the process and toppled over. "Yipe!"

"Bess!" Wolf exclaimed. He quickly bent over her to help pick her up off the floor, concern etched in deep lines on his face. "Oh, Darling, are you all right? I'm so sorry, Brightness; I didn't mean to frighten you! Had I realized you were zoned out instead of merely focusing, I would have been gentler."

Still trying to calm her racing heart, Bess did her best to smile at her fiancé and brush off the situation. "No, it's okay," she assured him, rubbing her backside with only a slight grimace. "Zoning out, focusing--I look pretty much the same either way. And I had all the wedding stuff out, so it made sense you thought I was just focused. Oof! That's gonna bruise though."

Wolf gave her a sorrowful look. "I'm so sorry, Moonlight," he repeated gently. "Let me get you an icepack." He moved into the kitchen and dug into the freezer. "So, what was it?" he called over his shoulder.

"What was what?" Bess returned as she sat her chair upright and picked up a few papers that had scattered.

"What was it you were thinking so hard on that you zoned out?"

Bess' stomach twisted in anxiousness. She wasn't sure she was ready to have this conversation. "Oh... ya know. Things. Wedding business."

"I see," Wolf replied, folding the icepack up in a soft towel. "Wedding business." He sounded a bit skeptical. Coming back to the woman, he handed her the pack and watched quietly as she sat back down and settled the ice over her sore elbow. Then he gently pressed: "Could this be the same wedding business you were thinking about when you left the bank today?"

Bess looked up at him, hoping her surprise didn't show on her face. Really, it was uncanny how this man could read and understand her so easily. The only other man that had ever been able to do that was her stepfather. "Why do you think I was thinking of anything then?" she tried to avoid the question, attempting another smile.

Wolf wasn't convinced. "Oh, I don't know," he drawled. He grabbed another chair and drew it closer to sit beside his love. He straddled it and crossed his lanky arms over the top of the back before resting his chin on his forearms. The man gazed closely at the woman. "Maybe because you had that thousand-metre stare you only get when you're brain goes into overdrive and can't stop racing. Maybe because you grew steadily quieter during lunch and had to have things repeated more than once to you before you processed them. Maybe because you didn't answer Connie's "See you later, alligator". Maybe because my bloody brother made a ghastly pun and you didn't even snort."

Bess went silent, unable to think of any sort of explanation to give the man. She felt the color drain from her face as her guts knotted and unknotted continuously. Damn his intuition! But also bless it.

Wolf smiled empathetically and stood to move around his chair and kneel beside hers. Taking one of her hands in one of his, he covered the back of it from her fingertips to her wrist in kisses before holding it against his chest. He gazed up into her eyes, the slate-blue of his warm and liquid. "What is it, Brightness?" he whispered. "You can tell me anything--you know that."

Bess managed a tiny smile. "I know that," she said. She reached up with her free hand to cup the man's sculpted chin in her palm. She gently scruffed her fingers in his muttonchops. "You make me feel so safe, Moonsong."

Wolf chuckled warmly and let his free hand reach up to place atop hers and flatten it closer to his face. Turning into her hand, he kissed the wrist, heel, and palm before turning back to her fully again. "You are safe," he assured her, stroking both of her hands with his thumbs. "I promise you. You will always be safe with me, Bess--you understand that?"

Bess nodded as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. In an attempt to control them, she screwed her eyes shut and leaned in to plant a kiss along her beloved's hairline before touching her brow to his and breathing deeply. Even in her present anxiousness, the Yank had never felt so safe and loved.

Wolf held steady, allowing his love a moment to collect herself and use him as the rock to anchor herself to do so. "Was it Tittersmyth?" he inquired quietly when Bess wasn't pressing so hard against him.

Bess sighed, not pulling away from the contact yet. "Yeah," she rasped, voice a little shaky. "But... not in the way you might think." Finally, the woman pulled away from her fiancé and gave him a somewhat sheepish look.

Wolf scowled and let his gaze fall dramatically away from Bess. "I'll have his hide," he rumbled. When Bess snorted and giggled at that his smile returned and he looked back at her. "What was it then, Darling?" he gently prodded. He let go of her hand on his cheek and reached up to brush some loose hair from her eyes. He ran his fingers back along the coal-black waves and drew her loose ponytail forward over her shoulder to gently play with and twirl the strands. Bess always seemed to calm down best when he played with her hair. "What do I need to skin Tittersmyth alive for?"

Again, Bess snorted and shook her head. "You don't need to skin the old fool alive."

"Ah, we don't know that yet."

Bess rolled her eyes and cast her glance over the expanse of wedding planning tools spread out over the table. The smirk dropped from her face as she traveled back, not just to this afternoon with Tittersmyth, but all those years ago with Oliver. "Wolf..." she croaked out after a long silence, "... do... do you want... strippers at your stag?"

The man's fingers froze in her hair. His hand around hers at his chest tightened its hold. "What?" he nearly scoffed the answer.

Bess felt the tears in her eyes again, but this time they weren't coming from a place of happiness and love. She couldn't bring herself to look at the man she loved. "Because..." she had to gulp down the lump building in her throat, "... i-if you do... y-you can. I-I'm not gonna lie and say I'll be ha-happy about it, but it's your stag party, so I... I can be okay with it if you want strippers." Her chin was suddenly taken in a firm but tender grip and her face brought 'round to meet eyes with Wolf again. She gulped again as she gazed deep into those slate depths she loved so much.

The man looked at her for a long time, as if studying her closely for the very first time. He looked slightly... perplexed. Disbelieving. "Would you?" he finally uttered, voice very quiet. "Would you be all right if I had dancers at my stag, Bess?" Somehow the question sounded a bit like a challenge. A challenge to what?

Bess drew her lips into a thin line and set her jaw against an oncoming sob that made her chest and throat tighten painfully. She tried to breathe through it. "I... I think I could be okay with it," she managed to croak out, her voice sounding pathetic and broken.

Wolf's soft eyes grew sad, and it quickly spread across the rest of his features. "Bess...."

"I-It's your last night as a free man, after all. You sh-should get to spend it h-how you like, yeah?" Bess' vision was starting to swim now.

Without another word or any warning, Wolf was taking his mate into his arms and embracing her tight to his chest. Cradling her head, he pressed his lips to her crown in a lingering kiss. The way she curled up into such a small ball against him and pressed so close as she quietly shed tears into his shirt could have shattered his heart. Wolf knew how much Bess hated feeling this way--small, meek, frightened. She thought it made her weak and she hated to be viewed as weak. Of course, Wolf never viewed her that way, but the feelings remained all the same.

"This wasn't just because of Tittersmyth's comment," the man murmured after a moment when Bess' breathing seemed to have evened a bit. He stroked large hands over her hair and up and down her back in soothing strokes. "This was an issue with Oliver, wasn't it?"

Bess croaked out a laugh. She pressed her face deeper into his chest and moaned wearily as she gently smacked his shoulder. "Ugh. How do you always know?"

Wolf couldn't help the little chuckle that escaped him in turn. "Just lucky, I suppose." His fiancée snorted and he smiled, glad she was in slightly better spirits.

"Bess, my sweetest moondust," he went on after a moment, voice soft and low, "you wouldn't be all right with strippers at my stag party." It wasn't a question.

Bess sniffled and shook her head against his chest. "No."

"Then why say you would be?" He was sure he knew the answer, but even so, Wolf wanted to hear her say it. Bess being able to voice her feelings and have them listened to and taken seriously helped her to realize that her emotions and thoughts were valid--that she was valid.

Slowly, Bess pulled away from his embrace to sit back and face him again. She reached up to wipe away her tears and smiled when the man did as well, stroking her cheekbone and the inside of her nose with his thumb. It still amazed her how any man besides her stepfather could be so gentle and caring in every possible way with her.

"Bess?"

"Oliver... made a stink when I told him I didn't like the idea of strippers at his bachelor party."

Wolf made a quiet noise of derision in response to that. That fact didn't surprise him in the least bit.

"I tried explaining to him that, um... that the idea of him watching other women undress and having them g-get all up in his business... m-made me feel disrespected and gross." Bess made a dry laugh. "He didn't care. He was determined to get his strippers and who the hell was I to tell him what he couldn't and couldn't do for his bachelor party--his last night of freedom?" There was no mistaking the pain, anger, and betrayal in her own voice, even after all these years. Bess snorted at herself and buried her face in her hands. "I don't know why I'm still so upset about it. Moses, I'm so stupid!"

Wolf reached up and gently grabbed her wrists to pull her hands from her face. "No," he gently scolded. "Moonbeam, Darling, look at me." Her eyes came to his and he held her gaze as he shook his head. "No. We're not talking or thinking like that anymore, remember? We're going to feel what comes and acknowledge it, no matter how unreasonable it seems, yes?"

Bess sniffled and nodded. "Right. Because every emotion is valid," she repeated what their couple's counselor and told them many times. "Just not every action."

Wolf nodded. "So... did the rat bastard have his strippers?"

Bess scoffed and shrugged with a wry smirk. "Never made it that far. He wanted to celebrate his party the night right before our wedding. I'm sure he would've, though." Her voice dropped in a deeper register and took on a cartoonishly dim-witted drawl as was normal when she mocked and imitated her ex: "Like he was 'bout to be cheated outta his strippers."

Wolf chuckled at that, his gaze falling to their fingers as they absentmindedly played with each other, twining and untwining, playing out little battles of dominance. It was incredible how they just went together so easily--so naturally. It was something the billionaire had never suspected to have ever in his life. He wasn't about to let it go now. "Last night of freedom," he muttered, looking back up at Bess. "That's what Oliver called it?"

Bess nodded. "He made quite a point of it."

The man looked down at their entwined hands again, stilling his fingers to simply hold the woman he loved in the safety and security she deserved to have. How anyone could have ever treated her so harshly and cruelly as they had, he'd never understand. How Oliver Sprague had been able to two-time and betray her and not see the absolute blessing he had when he had her.... Perhaps it was a bit smug, but Wolf couldn't help but think that this is what was meant when the difference between boys and men was spoken of.

"Elizabeth Felicity Sullivan-Marley," he spoke after a moment, "my stag party would not be my "last night of freedom"." He looked up to find the eyes of his beloved focused completely on him and he smiled. "I haven't been a free man the moment you came into my life," he continued on. "And I certainly haven't been a free man since we became a couple." He brought her hands to his mouth again and kissed both of them with such sweet tenderness, Bess made that teary squeaky little whimper he loved to hear so much. Then he met her eyes again with all the sincerity in the world. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Bess' heart fluttered in the way only he could make it flutter. It wasn't the first time--she should have been more than used to it by now--but she still felt as giggly and mushy and freshly in love as she had since the first night they'd curled up in front of the woodstove kissing into the morning. (And then getting caught by George.) "Really?" she asked, slipping her bottom lip through her teeth. "You don't pine for the days of being a single man again? The freedom to do what you want when you want without regard for someone else?"

Wolf quirked up an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I ever really had that," he remarked with a smirk. He glanced at her hands again as she snickered and stroked his thumb over the little moonstone ring on her left hand. Never had a ring looked more natural or fetching on a woman. "No," he said, looking back to his fiancée. "I don't pine for a single moment where you wouldn't be in my life. Perhaps bachelorhood is freedom for other men... it was never that for me. With you... I've never felt more comfortable or free to be myself. When I'm with you, I feel secure to express myself in ways I previously thought I couldn't. What's more, I feel as though I actually have someone who cares about the things I say, think, feel, and do."

Bess smiled tenderly and reached up to stroke his cheek. "You do, my moonlight," she assured him. "I do care. I care about everything concerning you."

That did it. Overcome with emotion and acting purely on impulse, the man reached up to cup his mate's neck and pulled her in close until he could press his mouth to hers and kiss her soundly. He moved his lips in tandem with hers, a tingling warmth spreading throughout his body. Her smell and taste--even a bit salty with her tears--intoxicated him more than any alcohol ever could. If he jumped out the window of his top-floor flat, he was sure he would fly.

Finally, the pair broke the kiss, and Wolf brought his hand up to hold Bess' jaw. He traced his thumb over her rosy lips. His lips curled into a smile as the ethereal, luminescent beauty she always exuded shone tenfold as it always did when she was left enveloped in the haze of a kiss. "My most darling Bess," he whispered, voice husky, eyes soulful and dark, "being with you... that's my freedom."

Bess had no response to that other than to wrap her arms around the man's neck and kiss him deeply again. As he rose from the floor to stand, she wrapped her legs around his lithe waist and tangled her fingers into his hair, setting the silvery strands free from their horsetail. "Take me to bed, Ebenezar," she rasped against his lips. "Please."

The man had the cheek to smirk. "Are you going to strip for me, then?" he teased, biting his bottom lip in the way he knew Bess couldn't resist.

Bess gave him a saucy smile. "Just don't expect it for your stag, Handsome."

Wolf rumbled a growling chuckle and made his way toward the spiral stairs to the second floor. It seemed wedding planning would have to wait for the time being.

@rom-e-o @ray-painter @crimson-phantom-designs @purgratoriat @st0r-fruit @m0nsterwife @the-house-of-auditore-frye @oldmanlusting @christmasgaybusinessmen

[lovemesomesurveys]

How frequently are you inclined to read, and how much? I used to read quite frequently, like going through book after book after book. In the past year it’s slowed down significantly and I really want to change that.  

When was the last time you questioned the direction your life was taking? I mean, of course I can’t help but wonder why all this stuff happened and why I’m having to go through so much. I can’t predict the future, but I never imagined my life would lead to here. 

What small things have the ability to get under your skin? I can’t stand being told to “calm down” or “chill out” and it drives me nuts when I’m trying to talk to someone who clearly is more interested in something on their phone and are only giving short responses or sounds. 

When was the last time you were caused to be upset with someone? Meh, I was annoyed about something with someone, but it really wasn’t their fault. I’m the messed up one.

What is something small that has the ability to cure a bad mood? There isn’t really like a “cure” or some quick fix, sure fire way to kill my bad mood. I’m someone who just has to ride it out, basically. I get upset, sit and stew on it for a long time, and then move forward. 

What beverage is best capable of quenching your thirst? My Starbucks energy drinks. 

What was the last big change through which you went? Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? Oh, this past year I went through a great deal of change. It was a really scary time last year and the changes were scary at the time, too. Ultimately, it was the right choices and the change brought about a lot of good, but yeah it was terrifying. 

How do you feel after spending a great quantity of time online? I may just feel tired or maybe even a little drained. 

What do you consider to be the biggest drawback to being you? All my health shit.

What do you consider the best part of being who you are? Uhhh.

What kinds of things do you have on display in your room? My obsession with giraffe stuffed animals, Alexander Skarsgard, Stranger Things, gnomes. 

What do you think your room and its contents say about you, if anything? It says I really like a variety of things. 

When was the last time you felt insecure about something/some situation? I feel insecure about myself constantly.

Do you ever stop to contemplate infinity? I guess I have in some way.

Are you comfortable amongst nature, or does the wilderness discomfit you? I can’t deal with all the bugs. That’s what kills it for me the most. And definitely not if it’s a million degrees outside. I really only like being outdoors when I’m at the beach.

When was the last time someone or something caught you off guard? I’m so jumpy so someone saying hey as they walk into my room catches me off guard and makes me jump.

How much time do you put into maintaining your appearance and hygiene? I put bare minimum maintenance now. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do more than that. I haven’t worn makeup in sooo long. 

Are there any foods you eat daily? Or wish you could? Yes, cause I have a really odd and messed up appetite and food issues so I just eat the same few foods I know I like and can eat. Like, I have cream of wheat for breakfast everyday. I have a sandwich most days of the week and Taco Bell like 5 times a week. Pizza, pasta, and wings get thrown in the mix sometimes as well.

When was the last time someone new entered your life? What was your first impression of that individual? No one new has entered my life in quite awhile.

Do you put much thought into your handwriting? My handwriting is shiiit. 

What are some of the top priorities in your life right now? Getting better and hopefully to the point where I can travel again and have beach trips.

In general, how do you feel about romantic relationships? That’s a loaded question.

Which emotional sensation inconveniences or bothers you the most? Uhhh. I mean, anxiety affects me the most. It’s a bitch. Not sure if that answers the question.

Are you capable of consoling others in their grief? I feel like I’m so awkward and not very comforting at all. I struggle with what to say. Especially when there’s really not anything I could say.

Do you ever find it awkward to compliment another being? It’s more just cause I’m shy.

When was the last time you had a new experience? What was it? Trying thc tablets a couple months ago. 

Do you dress more for yourself, or to the expectations of others? I wear what I like and find comfy. What kinds of things tend to stress you out? >> man, answering that could take forever <<<<

What is one way you cope when you feel like crap? I binge watch YouTube videos. 

Name an insult you regularly receive, if there is one? >> I am very grateful to not be living a life where I am regularly insulted <<< Yeah, the only person insulting me is myself.

Name a site that takes up a lot of your time? Tumblr, obvi. And YouTube.

What is something you used to believe about life that you no longer do? Hmm.

What is a lesson you have recently learned? I’m still learning. And probably still missing the major mark on things. 

Do you have a tendency to look on the morbid side of life? I may make some dark humor comments. 

When was the last time you went shopping? What did you buy? It’s been months, but I have several things in a few different carts online that I need to get.

When you shop for clothing, how long does it take you? I mean, it really varies.

What is something fun you have done within the past week? I haven’t done anything fun in a long time.

What is something you hope you never have to do again? Go through the stuff I went through last year. 

How does the rain affect your mood, if it does? I love rainy days. 

[manslaught]

mikayla had more than enough time in the last few years to try to come up with a plan for herself — and yet she kept pushing it off, despite having little else to focus on, because the idea of finally being free, not even from confinement, but just her father's rage, still feels so surreal. she knows he's gone for good, because she wouldn't have spent five years in a cell if he wasn't, but it's still hard to believe she can finally explore what she wants to do without fearing what he might think. “ i would've called you if i had another ride. i know i was a bitch in high school, but—i'm nicer than that now. ” she's not, really, because it's not like she actually worked on herself while she was locked up—but mikayla's more willing to treat them better now that she doesn't have to be terrified of her father.

the clothes are pretty much what she expected, but she's grateful anyway, because they're still better than what she's wearing now. and maybe there's a part of her that's a little overly eager to wear something of van's, although she chooses not to focus on that, because she's not sure what that means—as if they didn't spent nearly two years wearing each other's clothes anyway, though that definitely was more out of necessity than choice. “ it might not be the last, either. we'll see. ” it still feels strange to allow herself to actually joke about it, instead of immediately shut down the memory.

once they're in the relative privacy of van's truck, mikayla wastes no time changing clothes, feeling no shame, because she's felt better about her body than she has in a long time, and it's not like van hasn't seen it before anyway, even if it was only once. she opts for just the t-shirt and sweats, waiting to finish pulling the shirt over her head before she speaks again. “ you're cute for thinking i'd actually wear a flannel ever again. ” she had in the wilderness, but she'd also been freezing, so she wasn't in the position to be picky about anything. “ but... thanks. ” it comes out just as awkward as she feared it would earlier, but it feels necessary to say. “ —for everything. ” not just the clothes, or even for coming to pick her up, but for being the only person she had for the last five years, especially since mikayla didn't deserve it at all, considering the way she treated her in the past. “ and also for... taking me to eat? prison food sucks, so—i've been kind of looking forward to something decent again. ” especially when it felt like she had no time to enjoy real food again before she was locked up, although the food in there was still infinitely better than what they had to eat out there.

it’s a fair assumption,  given the way van first presented the offer — it was always spoken like it was a joke,  because being too serious about it felt too vulnerable,  and she was never sure how close to that to get with mikayla.  it was genuine, though, because van knows what she would want if she were in mikayla’s position,  and no one should have to get out of there only to be all alone.  van’s been alone for the past five years,  even when they were still living with her mother,  and it was even lonelier then.  she doesn’t want that for mikayla — so if there’s something she can do,  even if it’s only temporary,  they will.  she would even if nothing had seemed to change between them.  ❝  well,  surprise,  ❞   she says with an overdramatic, playful grin,  one that only lasts a brief moment before she shrugs.  ❝  i’m not a bullshitter,  ❞   she claims,  mostly just to reassure her now.  ❝  i mean,  i am,  but not about something like this.  ❞

there’s a little relief in knowing she was the only plan mikayla had;  she just hopes it doesn’t come with disappointment on mikayla’s end.  she’ll gladly help her get on her feet,  even if that means no longer continuing their talks — all that really matters to van right now is that mikayla gets what she needs.  she hopes that includes her,  even if she doesn't really know what that means,  either.   ❝  right.  good,  ‘cause i would’ve been pissed if i drove all the way here for nothing,  ❞   they say,  but it’s spoken in teasing tone,  because really,  even if it was just to greet her,  she would have. 

❝  oh,  shit,  yeah—-  ❞   she starts to mumble,  but her eyes shoot back at her.  ❝  well,  if that’s how you say thank you,  ❞   she says,  a grin forming over her lips as she tries to decipher whether or not this is just teasing,  but she tries not to dwell on it too much,  quickly focusing on the clothes again.  she grabs a back,  full of clothes that she overthought way too much about,  knowing mikayla’s style isn’t the same but hoping that what she’s chosen is comfortable enough — jeans and sweats, per mikayla’s choice, a t-shirt, and a flannel.  ❝  figured it wouldn’t be the first time you were dying to get out of your clothes with me,  ❞   she says as she hands the bag back over—-  momentarily regaining that confidence she once had back then,  when that actually happened before.  ❝  freedom looks good on you, by the way.  it’ll look better in my clothes than those, though,  ❞   they tease. 

[robbsredwedding]

help i cant stop listening to boulder to birmingham by emmylou harris and for a song that I thought for the longest time had the lyric “I would rock my asshole” it sure is triggering a breakdown

[ladybug05]

You’ll all I ever wanted

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: 16+, Smut, Angst, Fluff, Cheating,

Summary: After being together for 1,5 year things begin to chance.....

Part 2

................…................…................…................…................….

Chris POV

I saw YN‘s car leave my driveway and couldn’t believe what happened. How could I do this to her?

„Chris“ I heard my mother calling me „You have exactly 5 minutes to explain yourself!” I could tell how angry she is despite the tears in her eyes

“Mom....” I swallowed “I can’t explain what happened. I.....she.......nothing happened with Georgia.”

“Chris what happened in the kitchen isn’t exactly nothing. You kissed her and from what I heard meet her behind YN’s back. For gods sake! What were you thinking?!”

I signed “Mom, I’m really sorry. I was just so happy to see Georgia and to catch up. You know we couldn’t meet because of the pandemic and the Olympics. I totally forgot about YN and it’s killing me. I’m such an asshole.” Tears startet to flow “I don’t know why I kissed Georgia and I don’t know how to fix things with YN.”

“Christopher Robert Evans, I told you and your siblings what your father did to me and I also told you guys to always be sincere with your partners. I can’t believe what you have done to YN”

I wanted to interrupt her “No. You don’t get to talk right now. You were raised better than this. I raised you to be better than this. I’ve been proud of you you’re entire life, but right now.....right now I’m so disappointed in you I can barely stand it.”

“Mom.” I sobbed

“I talk to you tomorrow.....Today I can’t talk to you anymore.”

I never saw my mom so disappointed with me. Not even in my younger and wilder years. I watched how she walked to her car and drove away.

I took some deep breaths, my anxiety was way over the top and the alcohol in my system didn’t really help. I felt sick.

“Chris?” I heard someone softly call my name.

I turned around and saw Georgia.

“Hey G.” I put my hands in my pockets

“Is everything alright?”

I didn’t know how to answer “Yes......no....... it’s complicated......my girlfriend just left.”

Georgia raised her eyebrows “You have a girlfriend?”

Now I felt even worse. How come I didn’t mention YN when I spent time with Georgia? How fucked up am I?

“Yes and we had a fight. It’s my fault and I’m really sorry about the kiss. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Georgia crossed her arms “Chris I’m disappointed you didn’t tell me you have a girlfriend but you don’t have to be sorry about the kiss. I thought I’d make it pretty clear I like you.”

“You what?!” I was speechless.

“I like you. I was so happy when we met again and we had so much fun the last week. Didn’t we Chris?” She dropped her arms and started walking towards me.

“Wait” I hold my hands up “Georgia you’re a good friend but nothing more. I love my girlfriend.”

“Really? Because you flirted with me the whole week, were all touchy and kissed me.” She put her hands on her hips.

I dropped my hands “I didn’t flirt with you.” I groaned “I’m always like this and for the kiss....I don’t know......I guess the alcohol got me.”

She took a deep breath “Chris I know you. I know you like to flirt and to touch. But it’s different with us. I think you like me too but you feel guilty because of your girlfriend.” I didn’t notice how close she got. “Maybe if you kiss me again you know for sure.”

Her hands gazed my jaw and she was about to close her eyes.

I panicked. I couldn’t push her away. I didn’t want to hurt her. Just when I wanted to speak up I heard someone yell “Back of bitch!”

We both turned around and saw Scott walking towards us.

“I get the feeling one hit wasn’t enough.” Oh man he was pissed.

“I think I better go.” Georgia looked at me and I nodded.

“I think that’s for the best!” Scott stated with crossed arms.

Georgia winked at me “Call me.” She turned around and walked towards my house. Hopefully to gather her things.

“Chris!”

I faced my brother. “Scott look..”

“No! You don’t get to talk (Déjà-vu) Mum just phoned me. She’s so angry with you and so I am. You guys were engaged and you didn’t tell us? What’s going on?”

I signed “I don’t know. Yes....no....I guess we were engaged. I don’t know what happened and I feel so bad.”

“Like you should. If Steve would pull this shit I would kick his ass. Poor YN. Did it ever cross your mind how she would feel about this? Forgotten for a hole week, neglected and hidden from family and friends.”

Tears prickelt in my eyes “She said she’s my dirty little secret and booty call.”

“No shit Sherlock. Who wouldn’t?”

“Scott it’s not like that. I just wasn’t ready to tell the world. I wanted to have something....maybe yes a secret.....only for us. I wanted to treasure this time.” I explained.

Scott signed “This was definitely the wrong way and what about Georgia? I get the feeling I interrupted something. Again.”

“Yeah.....no..... I like Georgia but only as a friend. I don’t know why I did what I did. YN didn’t deserve this and I’m really sorry.”

“Chris I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know if YN will forgive you.”

“I have to talk to her. Explain things to her. We can’t end up like this. I really love her. She’s my endgame.”

Scott signed “yeah, maybe tomorrow. Your drunk and emotional. So is she. Sober up first, take a shower and maybe buy some flowers.”

I rubbed my face “you’re right. Even though it’s killing me I can’t talk to her. I still can’t believe what I did.”

“I know Bro, you really have to get your shit together otherwise it won’t work.”

I raised an eyebrow “Thanks for the pep talk. I love you.”

Scott signed “I love you too.”

I saw her engagement ring lying on the grass and picked it up. My brother and I walked towards my house. The party was definitely over. I just wanted to sleep and tomorrow I would talk to YN.

Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

——————————————————————————

Here’s part 2. I hope you all had fun while reading.

I’m feeling a little mean to leave you like this. How about part 3?

Thank you for reading.

Stay nice

And remember: English is not my main language.

Taglist:

@nie-die-richtigen-wortex

@memoriesat30

@flowerjewels

@unloyalyours

@yosoysere

@browneyedgirl365

@chris-butt

@misz-adrii

@deepintothenature

@youthought-iwasa-nicegirl

Some couldn’t be tagged. Sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️

[redstoneverdict]

Ok so this is inspired by @petrichormeraki hermit tommy au, go check them out they both come up with great stuff.

Tommy has been living with the hermits for almost 2 and a half months now and honestly he can’t remember the last time he felt like he could just let himself breath. The first few weeks were rough, seeing that joe hills found him passed out and a few steps away from death door one day when he was out and about. Tommy didn’t think he would just be running for so long, trying to get as much distance between him and lmanburg as possible. But he should’ve know exustion would catch up to him eventually, especially having just narrowly escaping a group of pillagers.

It took them awhile to even get him to fully wake up again, and even after that he felt too weak to keep on running so grian offered to let him stay in his old hobbit hole. Tommy didn’t want to accept the mans pitty but he still couldn’t even lift up a sword much less build a temporary starter base so he caved in. It only took about another week of relaxation before he was able to fully run around again and took up helping grian around his base and his various projects as a sort of payment for letting him stay in his old base.

Tommy was surprised with how well they got along, but honestly it shouldn’t have been to much of a shock seeing as they both love red and tend to be more of the michivsious type. It probably helped that Grian reminded him so much of his older brother Wilbur, he almost asked one day if the two was related somehow but decided against it. Tommy doesn’t want another connection to the pass he is trying to leave behind.

Currently they where gathering materials for grians barge and had been at it for most of the day, and had started chatting away about various things like best ways to prank people and what is xisuma hideing under his helmet, before falling into a comfortable silence. Tommy used to not be able to stand the silence, having always filled with with whatever comes to mind, but during his exiled, and when he ran away, he started to become more quiet. Why talk when there was no one there to hear you anyway, well anyone that was actually alive and could remember the inside jokes you where attempting to make.

Tommy’s thoughts drift to his brother, Wilbur. He still sort of feels bad for leaving without even telling him, seeing as he was the only one besides dream who actively tried to help him and vist him back in logshire, but honestly he probably would’ve forgotten him too by now, just like every other bad memory. He feels a tap on his shoulder.

“-tommy are you even listening?” Grian ask, takeing a step back after seeing tommy jump in his skin and pull out his sword before realizing it’s just grian.

“Oh sorry” Tommy says sheepishly, “I was just cought in my own thoughts, what is it?” He ask puting his sword away.

“ I said we’ve been working for awhile, how about we take a break and eat something” grian says pointing over to a shady spot in the distance.

Tommy didn’t notice the ache in his arms untill grian mentioned it and agreed, packing up their shoker boxes and flying over there, he still wasn’t quite used to useing elytra but feeling the wind blowing pass him definitely helped ground him after having thought about the past.

The two sat and ate for awhile, laughing at a story about how mumbo really made a his demise bunkers door code 1,2,3,4 and then falling into silence as they ate some more.

“ ya know” grian said inbetween bites of a sandwich he had brought, “ we always say mumbos the youngest around here but I don’t think I ever cought your age” he puts the sandwich down, “ and I’d rather not assume since I look pretty young myself, but how old are you?”

Tommy pauses and think, how old is he? He hadn’t really thought about since leaving. “ Um, what day is it?” He ask.

“ April 13th” Grian replys, looking kinda worried.

“ oh”, Tommy pauses, had it really been that long since he ran away? He shrugs “ I guess I’m 17 now, my birthday was on the 4th”, he says nonchalantly, taking another bite out of his pork chop.

“REALLY?” Grian is shocked, he figured tommy was at least 18 but finding out he was just 16 when joe found him all beaten up and knocking on deaths door steps puts him back a bit. But he can’t really be one to judge seeing how his teenage years where, and he knows that if he had the chance he would’ve ran away from it all a lot sooner then he did. “ wow wish I knew sooner, we could’ve thrown you a party or something” he says giving tommy a playful nudge, but tommy goes still and a look crosses over his face.

“N-no” Tommy says, furrowing his eyebrows and looking away, “no it’s alright, I kinda don’t do parties anymore. The last one I tried to throw, no one even showed up, I mean dream did-“ Tommy whinces, saying his name “but he doesn’t really count”

“No one?” Grian ask, taking note of dreams name, it’s the first time tommy has said someone’s name from his past, and he’s surprised it’s someone he vaguely knows, but he keeps quiet about it for now.

“Nope, not my best friend, not even my own family” Tommy’s voice lowers on the last part, pain written all over his face, before he pushes himself up. “ But now of that really matters now, does it?”. Tommy’s whole demeanor changes as he goes back into his usual self. “ how about we load up your shit head back to the shopping district before it gets to late yeah? I got other things to do besides being your bitch”

Grian knows tommy has been trying to cut back on his swearing, and that he’s just trying to change and get away from the subject as fast as he could, but Grian wasn’t going to push the matter. He knows what it’s like to feel like you’re not wanted by anyone and he knows that tommy will talk about it when he’s ready.

“ hey watch your mouth before I make ya eat a spider eye again” grian gets up “ but yah you’re probably right, it is getting late and I’d rather not lost all my stuff over 3000 blocks out.” He puts his hand on the larger boys shoulder and looks up at him “ you go ahead and take off and I’ll pack up what whatever we might of left”

Tommy looks back at the smaller man, he knows Grian isn’t stupid, but is thankful he is letting it slide for now. “ thanks grian.” He says softly, for once not feeling like he has to make his voice boom in order to be heard

Grian smiles back reassuringly, “ no problem kiddo, now go on get out of here” he says shooing tommy off as he takes flight heading towards the shopping district.

Grian stares at his shrinking figure and thinks. He doesn’t know what has happened to Tommy, but it’s obvious it’s was something painful enough to make him run away into the wilderness at such a young age. Grian picks up their remaining supplies before putting the shoker into in inventory. In any case, was was going to talk to the other hermits and organize a surprise birthday party for Tommy. He may not have any fond memories at the moment but grian would be dammed if he didn’t try to help the boy form new ones. Ones where he knows that he is apreacited. 

[uuujeewriting]

may I request HCs for Albedo, Childe, Kaeya, Diluc and Xiao realizing their fem!darling is a yandere? like how would they feel and react?? ( i hope u don't make it too angst :(( ) - if u don't feel comfortable wrting this, i am deeply apologize, feel free to ignore this :<

stop it [albedo, childe, kaeya, diluc, xiao]

they find out their darling is a yandere! how will they fight to fix them?

tw: UNHEALTHY/TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, gore, violence, cuss words, manipulative behavior, obsessive and possessive behavior, murder

albedo x fem! reader, childe x fem! reader, kaeya x fem! reader, diluc x fem! reader, xiao x fem! reader

a/n: just a note that this behavior should not be romanticized and should not be followed! i believe that the boys would not condone this behavior either. sorry that this took a while nonnie! hope this is to your liking.

i would like to clarify that if any of these scenarios/hc's of mine are similar to other writers' works, it is unintentional and i apologize

not proof read

albedo

it came to him when he started picking up on your possessive behavior

he first found it quite unusual, how defensive you were when people–even his own students–pointed out how much you hogged the man to yourself

it was no secret you loved him, albeit maybe you did a little too much 

for the first few days of this repetitive behavior of yours, he didn’t seem to take it too seriously, he even indulges your fantasies when he found the time to do so

calling him yours alone and how everyone wouldn't matter, just as his queen said

how foolish of him to feed into this obsessive mindset of yours, he now knows

the kreideprinz was a fearless man, never submitting even to the most nerve-wracking of consequences

you should earn an award for making him tremble

face to face with your gruesome figure, albedo hesitates to move

finally, you break the tension

“what’s wrong, my love? is something bothering you?” you ask, taking a step forward

“stay back. don’t you dare touch me- i-..” he grows speechless

you slowly retreated to your space, pouting

“is it this corpse? i’m sorry, but she was getting in the way! always asking about your whereabouts and such, truly a burden-”

“sucrose was my assistant! why the hell wouldn’t she ask about me?!” his heart rate quickened, the blond has never experienced this much terror in his life

you grew silent, taking in the chief alchemist’s words

he feels his heart drop to his feet when he sees you smile slowly

“well, there’s nothing we can do about it now, hm?” you hug albedo after throwing the bat you used to bash open your victim’s skull, tainted with putrid crimson 

you laugh and bury your head in his chest but you notice droplets of water falling to your scalp

you look up at your quivering love and he stares back at you

“i’ll fix you, i’ll do whatever it takes to change those despicable temptations of yours and i’ll get you back, y/n.”

childe

childe was naturally clingy, never letting you out of his sight for more than two minutes. as a result, he didn't pick up on the subtle signs of your toxic behavior

what made him question this was your unreasonably foul attitude towards his family

one night, you and him visited his siblings in snezhnaya to have dinner

he was jubilant to say the least, the love of his life will finaly get the chance to meet the people he loved just as much as her!

"why are you so excited to see your siblings?" your question left him dumbfounded

did you not want to see them?

"well, y/n my dear, if there was anything i loved nore than you; it would be my beloved family!" he chuckles

when you reach his house, he's so excited that he misses how your eyes darken when he knocks at the door

"big brother! you're here!" teucer jumps in joy and hugs his sibling, the brother in question hugs back lovingly

how you hated it, make it end already

"teucer! i've missed you, too. how are sister tonia and the others?" childe smiles

was your presence suddenly not the most important thing anymore to him?

oh no, you're not going to let this happen

you cough and childe looks back at you, apologizing

"sorry, babe. come inside, i'll introduce you to the others." he takes your hand and guides you indoors to the living room

at the sight of their dear big brother, the group of siblings raced and laced their arms around him one way or another

childe laughs and attempts to stretch to hug all of then at the same time, only being able to circle two of his siblings

you felt inadequate again, damn siblings.

as childe introduces you to his family as his girlfriend, you didn't bother to mask your dislike for them

this concerns your beloved to the highest caliber

dinner rolls around and uncharacteristically, you offer to help out with preparing the food

childe was reluctant but overall, he couldn't deny a chance for you to finally change your views on atleast one of his siblings

"thank you for allowing me to help, tonia." you smile, feigningly to clarify

"it's no problem, i should be thanking you for insisting." she laughs and leaves the food on the counter to grab a condiment placed on the opposite side of the kitchen

quickly and silently, you scan the premises for what you needed

you find a container of rubbing alcohol in a compartment

grinning, you took it and spilled half the container into the water jug to be served

discarding of the half-empty bottle and putting the jug's lid back on, tonia returns and continues preparing the food

perfect.

when the food and tampered water was served, you replaced childe's glass of water swiftly

one of the siblings drinks the water and after a few minutes, he excuses himself while coughing

tonia was next and then teucer, childe was going insane and growing more and more concerned

finally having enough, he checks the food and once he smells the strong scent of alcohol in the jug of water, his eyes widen

he turns to you, his heart sinking at your triumphant expression

"y/n, how could you?!" he furrows his eyebrows, what happened to his beloved?

"they were taking you away from me. what was i supposed to do?" you raise an eyebrow

he clenches his fist. when he hears his siblings suffering, he heaves heavily

"we'll talk about this later and i swear to the gods i will change your attitude."

kaeya

kaeya is perceptive, he may have picked up on your despicable views earlier than the rest

how? don't question, it's his responsibility to take care of you

he does nothing at first, finding your obsessive behavior harmless at the present time

however, he draws the line after one particular event

"haha, well- if it weren't for how you sneaked through headquarter grounds, i wouldn't have had to waste my time tracking you down." he peers sarcastically at rosaria, he latter scoffing

"it's none of my business what you find suspicious." she sips on the wine she was holding

kaeya lets out a 'tch' and looks away, clearly upset

he arrives home to you cooking supper, his arms snaking around your waist

you smile, "bad day?" you ask, you know how he gets when he's dim and gloomy

"not particularly, but just had some trouble with sister rosaria."

what?

"what about her?" your grip on the ladle tightens

"nothing, it's really not a big deal." he palms your hand, kissing your neck

"oh, alright. if you say so, love." you state, but he should've watched what he says

you had your mind set and there was no stopping you

around 2-3 am you sneaked out of your shared home with the captain.

grabbing a cloak and satchel which incased your belongings, you head out into the streets

'where could that damn nun be at this time of night?'

you ponder for a good few minutes until-

bingo; clearing camps.

sneaking past the knights is rather easy, distract them with a rabbit and all is good

pulling the hood of the cloak lower to hide your face, you speed into the wilderness in search of rosaria

you find the preoccupied nun vanquishing a camp of hilichurls around the whispering woods, too busy to notice your presence

opening your satchel, you take your mask and secure it to your face

time to go through with the plan you'd devised.

"huh-?" rosaria hadn't reacted fast enough and you managed to tackle her to the ground after the last hilichurl was disposed of

she chokes on your hold and attempts to shove you off, only for her attempt to whiff

grabbing the polearm she had in her dominant hand, you twirl it and use it to replace your hand on her throat, choking her with ger own weapon

"w-who in t-the world..?" rosaria glares and struggles to keep herself conscious

you smirked, putting more pressure on the polearm

she grows more and more panicked, you bask in her expression of utter helplessness

she should have known better than to mess with you

to mess with kaeya

this is what she gets

you are going to have your way

yes, almost there-

"not quite, fiend."

suddenly, you get pulled back by the hood and you gasp in shock

rosaria recovers quickly and stands up, snatching back her weapon from your distracted figure

"though i hate to admit it, you sure can be a helpful comrade, cavalry captain." the nun scoffs

your blood went cold

"now who in the seven nations might this rodent be?" kaeya frowns, you attempt to struggle from his grip but to no avail

he takes off your disguise and you purse your lips

"..y/n?" rosaria questions, much more confused than your lover

"i had a feeling." kaeya remarks, surprising both you and the nun

"kaeya, you understand right? she upset you, she made you go through all that work just for you to find out it was some shady bitch roaming around the fucking city!" the two wince at your vulgar language, clearly not having any of it

"what's done is done." rosaria states and goes ahead to return to mond

kaeya lets you go and crosses his arms, disappointed in you

"you should know better, y/n. i'll have you know that although i love you dearly, this behavior of yours is not what i want from you." he reprimands you and you furrow your brows

"it's just me showing my love for you, i don't see what's wrong."

your statement makes the knight sigh

this is going to be a long night for the both of you

diluc

diluc wouldn't be too busy to spend time with you, but he'd be too busy to take notice of your toxicity

you lived in the manor, because of this, you had access to everything in the site

and when i say everything, i mean everything

yes, he trusted you too much and that's his downfall

not his, but rather a maid's

you were aware of his darknight hero duties and he made sure that you did, kissing you goodbye before leaving to rinse the land of roaming dangers

one night in particular, a certain head maid had made you quite envious

offering diluc a glass of grape juice, fixing his collar before he goes on about his daily stroll, even daring to clean his shared bedroom with you! my, how audacious she is.

after giving you a tender kiss, your lover heads out into the night and leaves you with the maids, giving you the opportunity to continue on your devious ways

calling adelinde into the garden, she comes along with the items you requested

two towels, a fork and a plate

of course she questioned it but who was she to deny her master's sweetheart?

with shaking limbs, she made her way towards the garden

"ah, finally. you're here," you make your way towards adelinde and she gulps

"i-i have the items you requested, miss y/n," she hands you the three objects that will serve a huge purpose tonight

"thank you," you smile at her as she attempts to smile and bow respectfully

"if that is all, i shall take my leave." she retreats into the manor

or atleast, she thoughts she was going to

quickly, you roll the towel and gag adelinde with it, tying the towel together and stabbing it to her nape with the fork with brute force

she screams for a split second and you smile, quickly bashing her head with the plate.

looking down at your doing, you grin impossibly wide

"miss y/n, why couldn't you have simply knocked her out first as to avoid her creating a rather loud shriek?" elzer sighed

"i wanted to hear her in agony, is that odd?" you raise an eyebrow at the chairman

he shakes his head, "no, not at all, master."

the next day, diluc is faced with a rather odd feeling of dread

as he finds adelinde, ironically, nowhere to be found, he immediately asks elzer which in turn is sworn to secrecy by you

it completely drove him mad, and you tried to take his mind off the maid yet he only pushed you aside

this angered you to the core

"what–is that maid more important than me now, after all this work i've done for you?!" you yelled at him and he huffs in annoyance

"what do you mean work?!" he yells back

"what could you have possibly done for me-" "i got rid of that bitch!"

he freezes, what did you just say?

you, there's no way. you aren't serious right? he must've misheard you, there's no fucking possibility that his head maid was de-

"she's gone. i made sure of it."

diluc feels a boiling sensation in his stomach and he takes your wrist to drag you to the outside of his office

"y/n, you better tell me where she is or i swear to barbatos i'm going to-"

he stops himself. what was he going to do? the same thing you had just done?

you smile at his realization, circling him

"see? you were just about to be hypocritical there, love." you chuckle

diluc gritted his teeth and steadies himself

he's going to teach you a lesson one way or another, but never in his life will he come to commit the crime you'd done

xiao

the adeptus neither cared nor disliked the things you do for him, however, when you stepped out of line one day, he began to watch over you like a hawk

it was when the traveler, lumine, visited your adeptus lover

you were excited to see xiao, you had two plates of almond tofu in hand and was stepping up the staira to the balcony

you hummed a little tune to yourself

"first hilichurl got sick, second hilichurl took care, third hilichurl gathers medicine, fourth hilichurl prepares-"

you halt your singing when you hear laughter

laughter from a woman, huffs from a man

an adeptus

your adeptus

"xiao, thanks for meeting up with me today, i really appreciate it." lumine smiles at the yaksha, "we would've been at a loss if it weren't for you."

frowning, you step back and watch them from behind the opening of the balcony

"i am in no need of your reassurance, puny mortal. it was a necessity for rex lapis' sake, do not take it any other way." he says, although the flush of his face was an obvious indicator that he also cared for his friend

"yeah, whatever you say xiao." paimon laughed and lumine soon after

fuck. you felt something break on your foot.

xiao and the traveler snapped their heads to your direction–

only to find nothing there

"i'll go check on it," lumine offers and xiao simply nods, finishing the tofu she brought for him

the blonde traveller walks to the scene and sees a plate of almond tofu in bits and pieces

"eh?... what's all this?" she questions

she crouches down to observe the scene

her fault.

"AH-!" lumine tumbles down the stairs with you on top of her

not giving her time to react, you punch her in the face repeatedly

"don't-" smack in the face

"try-" punch up her chin

"to-" bash her head on the floor

"take-" punch to the left

"him!" punch to the right

verr goldet and paimon cries for you to stop, the former prying you off the bruised blonde

xiao hears the commotion and sees the traveller's nose bleeding and your figure heaving on the ground, fists clenched

if verr goldet hadn't pulled you away, you would've killed the girl

xiao huffs and shakes visibly

"what is all this?" he angrily mumbles, "care to explain yourself, y/n?"

"xiao-" you begin to cry, "why would you spend time with her? i'm hurt of course!"

"you intend to tell me you're the only one i can talk to?" he raises his tone

"yes!" you whimper

unbelievable

"..verr goldet, bring the traveller to a healer, y/n, come with me." he holds a stoic expression

he was beyond angry

following him to the balcony, he keeps a distance from you, about three steps away.

finally coming to a stop, he faces you.

"i don't know what got onto you, but we're going to solve this," he crosses his arms, "right here, right now."

[i-drink-and-i-write-fics]

She Is The Wilderness

Chapter 4: Making New Friends

Summary:  Logan and Reader start to develop an close relationship as Reader delays leaving the area.

Since the night of your run in with Logan, you kept finding reasons not to finish packing or wander the woods looking for a new cabin location. The wolves could tell something was up and each night they came to look in the window and judge you. Nakia even began to scratch at the door in an effort to get you to come outside. You couldn’t really explain why you kept putting it off and staying around the cabin more.

Then Logan started coming by. It was slowly at first, starting off with bringing you a broken-in, brown leather jacket that felt amazing but was a little big on you. When you looked at him in confusion, he actually blushed as he looked down.

“I felt bad about your favorite jacket so I brought you mine. I figured up here in the woods you may need it more than I do.”

Smiling, you pushed the sleeves up so you could give him a hug. “Thank you, Logan. That was really sweet of you. But really, it’s ok. You don’t need to try to replace my jacket.”

He just shook his head. “If it wasn’t for my stupidity, you’d still have your jacket. Please take this one.”

“Heroic stupidity,” You laughed and hugged him again.

Then he found other reasons to stop by: Piotr had grown too many pumpkins and they had to keep Wade from trying to chuck them at Cable, there were left over scraps from a bbq and he wanted to bring them as a peace offering to the wolf pack, he chopped too much for firewood did you need any? Finally, you told Logan he didn’t need an excuse and that he could come by whenever he wanted just make sure he knocked on the door first, otherwise he would end up like Baby Hands McGee back at the mansion (Wade kept getting either parts or his whole hand ripped off for trying to take your food). Logan laughed and agreed.

What started as randomly stopping by to see if you needed anything turned into dinner at your cabin every Friday night to dinner almost every night at your place. You grew comfortable around each other and began to talk about your pasts. You learned how his claws became metal and how his dick of a brother still showed up from time to time to try to corrupt him again.

You told him how you were from an area now known as Arizona, but when you were born it was barely a territory. Your mother had been Mexican and your father a settler who was supposed to be passing through until he met her. They had to move away from your mother’s town as interracial relationships were illegal back then. You had had siblings, but you were the only mutant of the family and it had hurt to outlive all of them.

You grew close as you ate and talked well into each night, with Logan heading back to the mansion sometime before dawn. Eventually, you started going to the mansion of your own will. With Logan’s help, you brought down several jars of your canned food for the school’s kitchen. You meet each member of the team known as the X-Men as well as some of the students. You could see why The Professor had started the school and really admired him for making such a leap forward for society. He always had a big smile on his face when he saw Logan and you standing together as you passed out things you had brought down from the cabin.

“Thank you, _____ for bringing all this food.” Charles smiled up at you.

“Well, I want to lie and say it would go to waste but something tells me you know why Logan hasn’t been in the mansion for dinner lately.” You both laughed at this.

“You’re good for him, you know? He’s become less isolated around the team and wants to help out more. Maybe you should move down here and join the team. You also manage to be the only one to put the fear of God into Wade.”

You laughed at that, “thank you, but I’m not so sure I’m ready for a move like that. While I do enjoy having Logan around, I’m still not comfortable around larger groups.”

Charles nodded at that, a smile on his face as Logan helped you grab the now empty boxes and head back to the cabin to make dinner. As you cooked, Logan poured you a glass of wine while he helped himself to a beer from the fridge. You talked about his classes and about Charles’ offer for you to move into the mansion.

Logan frowned at this. “As much as it would be nice to see you more often, I like you being here. Gives me an excuse to escape the constant noise and craziness.”

“Yeah, I can imagine being around Wade as much as you are would wear down on your soul after a while.” Laughing, you made your plates and you sat at the table to eat and watched as the day turned to night outside the windows.

“Did you get enough food? There’s still plenty on the stove.”

Logan groaned, “I always end up stuffing myself stupid when I come over here. Why do you have to be such a good cook?!”

You laughed at Logan’s fake pain as you popped a piece of a roll into your mouth. “You can’t fool me with that bitching. Coming over here to eat all my food then brag to the people in the mansion about all the home cooking you’ve been eating. Fucking Wade tried to steal a can of my peaches the other day because of you. How long did it take him to grow that finger back?”

“He’s still on it. Right now we’re all getting flipped off by a baby finger and it’s hilarious.” Logan grinned, clearly pleased with the daily sight of Wade not having a middle finger.

You had moved to the couch and sat in front of the fire place, slightly touching as you relaxed. Logan had an arm slung over the back of the couch behind your head while one of your legs was pressed up to his. Each time he visited, your personal space became smaller and smaller. While you certainly weren’t going to argue it, you also had no idea how to handle it. It had been at least 20 years since your last relationship; you felt rusty as hell and for all you knew you were reading the signals wrong.

Logan broke the silence. “_____, I really enjoy coming here and I really love spending time with you. So few people understand what it’s like to have lived as long as we have and the pain that comes with it.”

“Honestly, I almost didn’t stay. I was so damn annoyed at first with everyone popping up when they damn well pleased like this was a club house. I was actually looking for new places to hide my cabin the night we ran into each other.”

“I’m glad you didn’t leave, and frankly I hope you never do.” Before you could respond, your face was in his hands and he was pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. You easily melted into his touch and you spent a few minutes kissing on the couch.

“Well I can’t really fight an argument like that, now can I?” You asked once you broke apart. “Guess I’ll just have to stay right where I am. As long as you’re staying too.”

“Kid, you’ve got me here as long as you want.” He pulled you in for another kiss.

[luulapants]

Teen Wolf’s Skinwalkers and the Terminal Narrative

There are plenty of plot holes and missed opportunities to bitch about in Teen Wolf, but the one that gets me worked up the most is probably the skinwalkers storyline. I’ve written a ficlet based on my headcanons for them, mostly out of my ire that they didn’t even get names, but today I’d like to rant at you about how the skinwalkers storyline is a symptom and perpetuation of a toxic way that non-indigenous North Americans talk about indigenous peoples: the terminal narrative.

What is a terminal narrative?

The phrase is used to describe two deeply interrelated trends in modern accounts of Native Americans. The first is the tendency to talk about colonial-era Indigenous Americans as if they were already a dead/dying race, to insist that the Americas were sparsely populated when Europeans first arrived and, “anyway, disease is really what mostly killed them off, not colonizers.” The second is to continue that trend on into the modern day, talking about indigenous peoples as a relic of the past, extinct. This second narrative may agree that the genocide of the Americas was truly horrific but, you see, it’s already over, nothing to be done about it now! Ignoring, of course, that there is still a large, vibrant population of indigenous people in North America, that their abuse is not some long-past historical lesson (the last residential school closed in the 1990s!), and that the horrendous effects of colonial displacement, genocide, and cultural suppression are still felt to this day. Terminal narratives are a means of minimizing the modern white American’s responsibility to make reparations to indigenous people.

Okay, so let’s go back to Teen Wolf - how do the Skinwalkers play into the terminal narrative?

To refresh your memory, the skinwalkers are introduced in season 4 when Kira is having trouble controlling her kitsune powers. For some reason, her mother Noshiko decides that the skinwalkers are the right people to help her. They drive to New Mexico, where they meet these ladies:

The skinwalkers are portrayed as nameless relics of the past

The skinwalkers are terrifying, ferocious, covered in dust and clothed only in animal pelts. To be fair, this isn’t entirely out of line with the skinwalker myth as far as it is known by outsiders. (Disclaimer: this, like many Navajo myths, is not openly shared with outsiders, and so my knowledge, as someone who is not Navajo, is incomplete.) Traditionally, a skinwalker is an evil witch (of any gender) who began as a shaman but was unable to resist the allure of dark magic. They can don animal pelts and acquire the abilities of those animals and even shapeshift into them.

However, even if this image of the skinwalkers makes sense purely in the context of myth, it does not fit within the framework of how other mythical beings operate in the Teen Wolf universe. Even if Teen Wolf were following the ‘evil witch’ story, evil characters are routinely humanized on the show. In fact, the story of how one becomes a skinwalker sounds very much like the story, which Teen Wolf explains in detail, of how a Druid becomes a Darach (which itself is a bit of a bastardization of Celtic mythology). But unlike the white Darach (who gets significant screen and speaking time, a dramatic back story, and not one but two names), the skinwalkers are nameless, given no backstory, and have very few lines, all of them focused on Kira’s problem.

(I won’t get into how their role in the story basically reduces them to the trope of Magical Native American or Noble Savage, but there is a LOT to be said there.)

Furthermore, every other magical being in Teen Wolf is fully modernized. Noshiko Yukimura, despite being 900 years old, is fully integrated into modern society. The werewolves and druids are not shown to have much in the way of old-school lifestyles or dress. Even the family of wendigos, insatiable cannibals, have modernized so well that they live in a McMansion with a walk-in freezer full of human corpses! Wendigos are another indigenous mythical creature, but the one we meet is portrayed by a white actor and gets a name - Sean Walcott - despite his very brief appearance. (Side note, I don’t consider it whitewashing for a white actor to portray a wendigo. In fact, many post-contact wendigo stories, told by several native tribes, were about ill-prepared white colonists who got lost in the woods, resorted to cannibalizing their traveling companions, and became monsters.)

Yet, despite every other mythical being in Teen Wolf wearing the latest from Macy’s, the skinwalkers are clad in nothing but animal skins, face paint, and dust. They look like something from the past, practically primeval. They are nameless, without context, a mysterious people so far removed from us that they hardly seem like people at all.

The skinwalkers are completely separate from reality and civilization

Kira is warned, when she goes to the skinwalkers for help, that if she is unable to control her powers, she will be forced to stay and become one of them until she learns. Being with the skinwalkers means being completely cut off from the rest of the world, unable to see or talk to her friends or family. (What, the skinwalkers can’t get Skype?)

We aren’t told how old the skinwalkers are, but given how long a kitsune can live, it’s suggested that her banishment might continue longer than her friends will even be alive. To stay with them is a fate so horrible that her mother, who brought her to them in the first place, helps to fight them off so Kira can escape.

The skinwalkers come to represent death and nonexistence

Later, when the skinwalkers help Kira to defeat Theo, we are thrown an odd curveball: they are somehow in contact with Theo’s sister, who drags him to the underworld, where she is, to torture him. There’s a lot to unpack in that storyline, but most relevant to our topic is this: the skinwalkers are connected to the underworld and death.

Considering how the prospect of Kira going with them is framed, it’s almost as if they are death itself. Indeed, when the showrunners decided to get rid of Kira’s character, they did so by sending her away with the skinwalkers, never to be seen again. By becoming a skinwalker, Kira basically ceases to exist.

In summary, these native characters are framed as dead, as death, as ageless figures from an unknown time past. They are not people, not really. Like the shrieking savages in old Western movies, they are an exotic action sequence. They are part of the scenery in the desert, showing us a wild and mythic past which is not part of our modern world. There is no talk of modern indigenous people, not even an implication of them. The Yukimuras never stop by one of the nearby Navajo reservations to ask a modern Navajo in modern clothes where they can find the skinwalkers.

No, like in our myth of the colonial past, they journey directly into a mostly empty wilderness, where the few inhabitants are strange, violent, and unknowable primitives, who vanish into the dust when they are no longer relevant to the story.

[lavellander]

hello im feeling extra “touch the stove”-y today so. i was looking for any dialogue where solas just straight up lies and (of what i could find online/transcribed, obv) i didnt find anything that was 100% untrue. he’ll completely avoid the question, change the subject, give part of the truth, etc etc etc, but nothing was just Entirely A Lie

what really gets me is that there’s a handful of convos where someone infers something from what solas says, and he will even point out that he didn’t directly say that. like, he tells people how to see through his shit, lmao

here is an embarrassingly long ass list of examples, all sorted by what kind of not-lying he’s doing lol, just bc i am unhinged<3

*note that some of these are cut from longer bits of dialogue or have been split up from one conversation into different categories*

literally just Not Answering The Question lol

Dorian: How much “will” do they have? They’re amorphous constructs of the Fade. Solas: Hmm.

Dorian: Solas, have I offended you? Solas: If you have, why would it concern you?

Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I’m sorry? Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry. What are you supposed to be, some kind of woodsman? Dorian: Is it a Dalish thing? Don’t you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some kind of statement? Solas: No.

Dorian: Let me get this straight, Solas. Dorian: You’re an apostate – neither Dalish nor city elf – who lived alone in the woods studying spirits. Solas: Is that a problem for you?

Solas: [has a whole tactical moment about the red jennies lmao] Sera: Where d’you get all this, then? Solas: Do you wish to be unnerved by another tale of my explorations of the Fade? Or do you wish to learn something?

Vivienne: You must be pleased with what was revealed at the Temple of Mythal, Solas. Solas: Why should those ruins please me, Enchanter?

changing the subject before he backs himself into a corner

Gatt: I don’t see any tattoos, but you’re carrying a staff. Are you from a Chantry Circle? Solas: No. And I would prefer not to discuss it.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing. Varric: What’s so confusing about endless darkspawn? Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter.

giving the truth, but not the whole truth

Blackwall: Skyhold. How did you find it? Solas: I looked. Blackwall: Now you sound like Cole. You looked? Solas: This world is full of wonders for those who seek them.

Blackwall: You spoke of seeing death and destruction. Did you fight in a war? Solas: There are struggles across Thedas at any given time. I doubt you would have heard of it. Blackwall: An elven skirmish? Solas: In a manner of speaking, yes.

Cassandra: Solas, have you always lived alone? Out in the wilderness, as an apostate? Solas: For the most part.

Cassandra: Have you ever encountered templars before? Solas: Only at a distance. I am an apostate, after all. Cassandra: And they never caught you even once? Solas: I am a very careful apostate.

Dorian: We found elves, living ancient elves, at the Temple of Mythal. Does that bother you, Solas? If Inquisitor allied with the Sentinels: Solas: I am pleased we were not forced to kill them, if that’s what you mean.

Iron Bull: You’ve got an odd style, Solas. Your spells are a bit different from the Circle mages or the Vints. Solas: That comes from being self-taught. Solas: I discovered most of my magic on my own, or learned it from my journeys in the Fade.

Vivienne: So, an apostate? Solas: That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your Circle.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life. Iron Bull: I’ve always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth? Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

from cutscene at beginning Inquisitor: [mentions the anchor closing a rift] Solas: Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct.

from cutscene at beginning Solas: [to a Dalish Inq] You are Dalish, but clearly away from the rest of your clan. Did they send you here? Inquisitor: What do you know of the Dalish? Solas: I have wandered many roads in my time, and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion. Inquisitor: [Crossed paths? dialogue choice] Solas: I mean that I offered to share knowledge, only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition.

from “I’d like to know more about you” convo in Haven Inquisitor: What made you start studying the Fade? Solas: I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, became troublesome.

actually telling the truth but no one picks up on the gravity of it

Solas: [...] I believe the elven gods existed, as did the old gods of Tevinter. But I do not think any of them were gods, unless you expand the definition of the word to the point of absurdity. I appreciate the idea of your Maker, a god that does not need to prove his power. I wish more such gods felt the same. Cassandra: You have seen much sadness in your journeys, Solas. Following the Maker might offer some hope. Solas: I have people, Seeker. The greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced to people.

Cole: No, inside. I don’t hear your hurt as much. Your song is softer, subtler, not silent but still. Solas: How small the pain of one man seems when weighted against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples.

Cole: You didn’t do it to be right. You did it to save them. Inquisitor: Solas, what is Cole talking about? Solas: A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything.

Solas: Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more “innocent” than your own Tevinter in its time. Solas: Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless.

Solas: Our people used to be here. Sera: Pfft, you say that everywhere. Solas: It is more true than you want to believe.

Vivienne: You must be pleased, apostate. With the Templars dissolved, your rebels will be most difficult to pacify. Solas: My rebels? Am I an agent for their cause, whispering poison into the Inquisition’s ears? Solas: How comforting. Vivienne: You enjoy seeing yourself as a villain? Solas: No more than any other clever man who wonders what he could do if pushed.

Vivienne: [about the Temple of Mythal] Now you know the elves were once a mighty nation. Solas: I always knew, Enchanter. The Temple of Mythal is just another reminder of what was lost.

(in the Emerald Graves): These forests have changed much since I was last here.

during the Fade!Haven cutscene Solas: It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture... and right then, I felt the whole world change. Inquisitor: [romance option] “Felt the whole world change?” Solas: A figure of speech. Inquisitor: I’m aware of the metaphor. I’m more interested in felt. Solas: You change... everything.

pointing out that people assume he means things he did not directly say

Cole: There is pain though, still within you. Solas: And I never said there was not.

Solas: You may well become fully human, after all. I never thought to see it. Cole: When did you see it before? Solas: I did not say that I had.

Iron Bull: We’ve got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured... Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions? Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission. Solas: I never said otherwise.

Sera: Don’t you start. Solas: I’m reasonably certain I said nothing.

Vivienne: [talking shit about grey warden mages] Solas: I never claimed mages should be above the law, Enchanter. Vivienne: No, darling. You merely implied it, while offering no viable suggestions for improvement.

after infamous “side benefits” dialogue Warrior Inquisitor: You find my muscles enjoyable? Solas: I meant that you enjoyed having them, presumably. Warrior Inquisitor: Ah. Solas: But yes... since you asked.

diminishing things he does actually know by saying he he “believes” or “thinks,” or that things were vaguely “said” or “told”

Solas: I say what I believe to be true, even if it gives offense to those who prefer the lie.

Dorian: That orb Corypheus carries... are you certain it’s of elven origin, Solas? Solas: I believe so. Why do you ask?

Solas: It is said that we lived at a pace that sustained us for... ages.

making it sound like he’s talking about something/someone else, but it’s just him lmao

Cole: Do you know a lot about wolves? Solas: I know that they are intelligent, practical creatures that small-minded fools think of as terrible beasts.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters. Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don’t know. Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

during In Hushed Whispers Inquisitor: I’m glad you understood what he just said because I’m not sure I did. Solas: You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong.

misc

this one i wanted to include because it’s the only circumstance (that i came across) where someone directly asks solas to lie and he literally says he can’t

during the fucking crestwood breakup scene Inquisitor: [angry option] Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. Inquisitor: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a cold-hearted son of a bitch and move on! Solas: I’m sorry.

*also note that most of these are banter transcriptions from the wiki; some are cutscene / other dialogue posted by either @/daitranscripts or u/karinini on reddit; it’s not all his cutscenes obv, but I’m not about to look up every single one individually sdlkfj*

[ibijau]

A Little Help pt3 / On AO3

A third secret meeting between Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen

Nie Huaisang barely made it out of the Unclean Realm this time. In truth, he would have preferred not to leave at all. Distance hadn’t been such an obstacle thus far after all. Lan Xichen, after some hesitation, had agreed to send the score for Cleansing to Nie Huaisang, along with detailed written instruction on how to play it.

Nie Huaisang had taken it as another proof that Lan Xichen could be impossibly naive for a man this clever. It would have been so easy to sell the score of that song to interested party. Certainly, Su Minshan would have paid a real fortune to get his hands on that. Not that Nie Huaisang would ever have traded with someone as slimy as Su She, but he could have, and Lan Xichen shouldn’t have trusted him so easily.

Then again, they’d had no other choice. Nie Mingjue had barely accepted the excuse his brother had given for leaving without permission last time, and Nie Huaisang hadn’t been sure he could have gotten away with it again. He had hated admitting that to Lan Xichen, but Lan Xichen had been very kind in his reply, reminding him that this was only the result of a deep imbalance, that Nie Mingjue loved him and trusted him. And Lan Xichen was right of course, but lately it was a little too easy to forget that.

Lately, Nie Huaisang had become scared of his brother, the way he’d once become scared of their father.

For the past two months, Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen had only communicated through letters and hidden messages, taking ever increasing precautions not to be discovered. Nie Mingjue would have had a fit if he’d learned his brother was conspiring against him, and Lan Xichen remained worried his brother would be harmed if he was discovered to have gone against the Lans’ council of elders. But there was only so far their plan could go without meeting in person again, and Nie Huaisang was forced to eventually agree to meet again, at that same spot as before.

As before, Lan Xichen was waiting for him, wearing a robe of blue so dark it almost looked black. The colour suited him well, better in fact than the usual white of his sect which washed him out. Not that Nie Huaisang had time to spare on such frivolities, not this time.

After the briefest of greetings, Lan Xichen asked to hear the progress he’d made regarding Cleansing, and Nie Huaisang was only too happy to oblige. Time, more than on their previous meetings, was of the essence.

Nervous as he was, Nie Huaisang did his best to play the song appropriately. He paid attention to each note, infusing them with what little spiritual energy he could offer at every key moment, making sure to play at exactly the right speed. It was strenuous work to play that song, but the thought of his brother’s health had pushed him to put more effort into this than he ever had in anything. 

By the time he finished playing the song, Nie Huaisang felt a little weak, and his head was spinning. Thankfully Lan Xichen was sitting right next to him, and Nie Huaisang was able to lean against his side to rest a moment.

“You did very well,” Lan Xichen said, briefly wrapping one arm around Nie Huaisang’s shoulders before quickly removing it, afraid perhaps to act improperly, even when there was no one to see them. “I think you only need a little more practice and you’ll be ready to play it.”

“How soon?” Nie Huaisang asked, pulling away from the other man. “A week? Two? I’ll practice until my fingers bleed, and you can fight off your elders, and…”

Lan Xichen frowned. “Huaisang, it’s not that simple.”

“But I don’t know if I have more time. We need to act soon!” Nie Huaisang urged, grasping Lan Xichen’s hand. “Da-ge is… he’s been like this too long, and he’s really not getting better on his own. I think he’s even getting worse.”

It had been Lan Xichen’s theory that without the corrupted song played to him so regularly, Nie Mingjue might start recovering on his own, without the need for more Lan songs. Nie Huaisang had thought that was more likely than himself ever mastering a complex piece of magic in a matter of mere weeks.

Hope was a bitch.

“I’ve heard he’s become… quite aggressive toward small sects that are taking the Jins’ side,” Lan Xichen cautiously said.

Nie Huaisang miserably nodded, prompting Lan Xichen to gently squeeze his hand.

It had always been Nie Mingjue’s problem that he saw things in black and white, good or bad. That mentality used to be balanced out by his conviction that most people were honest, with only a few bad apples here and there.

Nie Mingjue didn’t believe that anymore.

“You have to do something,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have to make a statement, to let everyone know that da-ge isn’t crazy, that the Jins really did attack him! Otherwise he’ll just end up all alone, like…”

“Like the Wens?”

“More like Wei Wuxian,” Nie Huaisang whispered. He felt Lan Xichen shudder at his side, but refused to look at the other man and glared instead of the guqin before them. “Er-ge, you have to do something, you have to help, you have to!”

“They still have Wangji,” Lan Xichen replied. “I don’t dare… It would be so easy for the council to order his death. Not only that, but they could make the whole world applaud. Just one sentence from them, and even your brother would rejoice at Wangji’s execution. You as well, perhaps.”

"What could he have done to…" 

"I trust you with almost anything, Huaisang,” Lan Xichen quietly said, taking both of the other man’s hands in his, his expression painfully earnest. “But this is not something I can tell you. Even telling you that Wangji's actions put such a threat on his life is too much, but it was the only way to show you I’m not… indifferent to the situation. I just don’t have a choice. You seek to save your brother, and I have to protect mine.”

A fair point, and yet Nie Huaisang grimaced. He simply couldn’t imagine what Lan Wangji, always a stickler for rules, could have done to deserve death. But with Lan Xichen holding his hands like that, it was impossible to ignore the wild beatings of his heart, as if he were truly terrified on his brother’s behalf. If Lan Xichen said that Lan Wangji was in such danger, it had to be true.

“What if… what if you sent him somewhere safe?” Nie Huaisang suggested. “I don’t know the situation, but if he just left, maybe…”

Lan Xichen’s hold on his hands tightened.

“Wangji is not currently in a state of health where it would be wise for him to wander the world or hide in wilderness,” Lan Xichen explained. “Not to mention…”

He hesitated, staring at Nie Huaisang as if searching for something on his face. “It is not just about Wangji,” Lan Xichen confessed. “He’s declared himself the protector of a young orphan he found somewhere. The council of elders has agreed to let this child reside safely within the Cloud Recesses, but only as long as Wangji behaves.”

That certainly complicated things, but it also made sense. It explained why Lan Wangji, in spite of having done some horrible deed that went against his sect’s morals, would remain with them. It could also have been the mere fact that Lan Wangji was definitely the sort of person who believed in rules even when they had negative consequences for himself… but few men kept that sort of belief when the consequences in question were their own death. While if there was a child…

“If your brother could be offered a safe house of sorts where to hide with that child until everything is under control again, would he accept?” Nie Huaisang asked.

“Perhaps, if I explained to him why I need him to disappear for a while,” Lan Xichen replied, a small crease forming on his brow. “But I’m not sure there’s anyone who would accept to hide him at the moment. Not when I’m almost certain the elders might reveal…”

“Er-ge, let me make you a promise,” Nie Huaisang said, gently squeezing the other man’s hands. “Because you see, I own a house a little way out of Qinghe. My father bought it for my mother when they married, for when she needed to retire somewhere quiet, and when she died it went to me. It’s abandoned now, and in disrepair. It’s also quite isolated. So here is my promise: if you trust me enough to send Wangji there with that child of his, I won’t reveal he’s there, no matter what I learn about him. Whether he killed someone, or consorted with demons… even if he ate human flesh, even if he used evil ways to improve his cultivation… no matter what terrible people he associated with, or how inhumane his deeds… as long as he is inside my mother’s house, I will not tell a soul where he is, for your sake.”

And for his own sake as well, Nie Huaisang thought, knowing his brother and him desperately needed an ally, someone the cultivation world would not dismissed as biased against the Jin or touched by madness.

That little declaration had exactly the effect Nie Huaisang hoped for. Lan Xichen froze, his grasp on Nie Huaisang’s hands nearly painful. His face, so pale a moment before, took on a warmer hue visible even in this dark night, while his eyes shone as if he might cry. Before he could shed any tears, Lan Xichen let go of Nie Huaisang's hand so he could pull him into a crushing hug. 

Nie Huaisang only hesitated only a moment before returning that hug. It was just a ploy to get Lan Xichen to finally act, nothing more, but he hadn't been hugged in so long, and it felt good to be held that way. 

"Huaisang, I am so grateful that you would offer this," Lan Xichen whispered, sounding as if he might really start crying. "But I can't accept. It's too dangerous. If your brother found out, in his current state…" 

Nie Huaisang pulled back, not quite breaking the hug, but enough to bring his hands to Lan Xichen's face, cupping his cheeks the way he'd seen some particularly besotted lovers do. 

"You help me with my brother, I help you with yours," Nie Huaisang said with more earnestness than he'd planned. "We're in this together, so please trust me as much as I trust you." 

Lan Xichen could only stare at him with an expression of such open affection that Nie Huaisang almost felt guilty for using it against him. 

Guilt, surely, was the only reason he felt almost dizzy while held so closely, and gazed at with such tenderness, the explanation for his heart beating too fast. 

Nie Huaisang felt guilty, but it was all to protect his brother. And it was also to protect his brother that he impulsively pressed his lips to Lan Xichen's. 

If that didn't convince him to do what was right… 

But it did the trick, just as planned. When they stopped kissing, too breathless to go on, Lan Xichen looked as if he would have gathered every star in the sky, should Nie Huaisang have asked for them. 

"I will talk to Wangji," Lan Xichen promised. "I will convince him… I doubt he'll put up much resistance. He doesn't like that they're using little A-Yuan against him, and he'll like it even less when he find they're using him against me." 

Nie Huaisang agreed, and gave a detailed explanation on how to find his mother's house, and described where he'd hidden some money there, in case if emergency. Nie Huaisang doubted that he would be able to go greet Lan Wangji for fear of attracting attention, but he could provide some help even from a distance. 

"I am for ever in your debt, Huaisang," Lan Xichen said, stealing a quick kiss. "I swear I will repay it. I'll make sure everyone knows the truth about Jin Guangyao, I will force my sect to stand with da-ge. Just hold on a little longer." 

"I trust you," Nie Huaisang replied, stealing a kiss as well. "And until da-ge can see again you are truly his friend, I'll keep practising your song. We're going to save him!" 

"We are," Lan Xichen agreed. 

He looked so happy as he said that, as if it truly mattered to him to help Nie Mingjue, and that in turn made Nie Huaisang’s heart race in his chest. He might forgive Lan Xichen for having sided a while with the wrong sworn brother, he thought. Lan Xichen was doing his best to correct his mistake after all, the way a true friend would do. 

In fact, Nie Huaisang might have already more than half forgiven him.

Still, just to make sure Lan Xichen remembered he had much to gain by doing the right thing, Nie Huaisang kissed him again. Just for safety, he told himself. And the next kiss was to distract Lan Xichen so he wouldn't ask too many questions about Nie Mingjue's current state. 

For the last kiss they shared, Nie Huaisang had no excuses. He had just felt unbearably scared as they both prepared to head home, and he'd wanted a last moment of warmth and tenderness before returning to the coldness and isolation of the Unclean Realm. 

It might not have been his smartest decision to have lost time with that. Dawn was starting to colour the sky when Nie Huaisang finally reached home. Not that it mattered much, he told himself. The secret passage he used to get out was well out of the way. It also wouldn't surprise anyone if he slept later than strictly reasonable once he made it to his room. Or else if he was spotted inside the Unclean Realm, he'd just say he'd wanted to do a bit of bird-watching and got up early. That always worked. 

What he didn't have was an easy explanation being discovered outside the Unclean Realm by his brother, just as he was about to enter that secret passage. 

"I swear it’s not what you think," Nie Huaisang cried out, but the expression on his brother’s face only darkened.

This time, Nie Huaisang was in trouble.

[hiddendreamer67]

girl u KNOW im a predictable bitch and need to know everything about Caden and Nameless-Giant-Whom-I-Already-Adore (plus uuuuhhhh caring prompt "let me take a look..." if that gets anything going for ya)

Bro you know I was so hype to get this ask! It seems a lot of people to read more about my bois, who are now officially Caden and Markus. :D

Part 1 | Part 2 (here) | Part 3 | Part 4 tbd

Summary: After being sacrificed by his people to the beasts of the village, Caden finds himself rescued by a giant and taken back to Markus’ campsite.

Word count: 1,604

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“Let’s have a look…” The giant murmured, and once again Caden found himself in front of his scrutinizing gaze. Caden squirmed, not liking the way the massive bonfire made the shadows dance across his captor’s face. He liked it even less when he caught the glint of a knife twice his size in the corner of his eye. “Oi! Sit still, would ‘ya?”

Caden whimpered, trying to do as instructed lest he be punished for disobedience. After all, the fingers curled around him could at any moment squeeze together and crush his ribs. That imagery was terrifying and did nothing to ease Caden’s internal panic.

“Good lords, your heart’s beating faster than a sprite.” The giant sighed, his thumb brushing atop Caden’s chest, taking in the younger boy’s pulse. “Settle down. I’m not going to harm you, alright?”

“Mhmm.” Caden gave a stiff nod, his eyes never leaving the blade clutched in the giant’s other hand, hovering nearby and pointed in Caden’s direction. “What uh… what’s that for, then?”

“Well, I imagine it’s not pleasant being all tied up.” The giant brought the knife closer, his gaze intense in his focus. “Now don’t move and I won’t nick ya.”

“Easy for you to say.” Caden murmured, stiffening as he imagined all the ways the tiniest slip of the giant’s wrist could lose Caden an entire arm; a blade that size was quite the formidable weapon. Nevertheless, Caden did as instructed, breathing as steadily as he could when he felt the steel tool come between his arms and glide along, cutting the thick ropes with ease.

“Told ya.” The giant gave a cocky grin, repositioning to aim for Caden’s legs. This knife cut through the ropes as if they were nothing.

Caden cleared his throat, forcing himself to breathe as he brushed the scraps of rope together. The open palm Caden was cupped in shifted as the giant repositioned to put the knife away.

Of course, Caden wasn’t sure if he was any safer now that he was free of his bonds. After all, Caden was still in the hands of a gigantic stranger, alone in the dangerous woods with no way to defend himself if things turned ugly. What did this giant want with him, anyhow? He seemed… human, or human enough, but given Caden’s track record that didn’t mean he’d be granted any mercy.

The giant hummed, his attention fully on Caden once more, tilting the human back and forth before his eyes. Caden stumbled, grasping one of the nearby knuckles to keep himself balanced. After all, he was still mindful of the fact he was several dozen feet off the ground, even as the giant sat upon the ground. Caden rubbed his arm, unnerved by the sensation of Markus’ fingers occasionally brushing against his side, as if Markus himself wasn’t even fully aware he was doing it.

“You got a name, kid?” The giant asked, first to break the silence.

Caden blinked, not expecting the question. “Um, Caden. My,- my name’s Caden.”

The giant nodded. “I’m Markus.” With introductions out of the way, Markus lowered his palm to the ground, causing Caden to shoot him a confused glance.

“Are you… letting me go?” Caden questioned.

“Letting you go?” Markus raised a disapproving eyebrow, glancing between Caden and the darkened forest surrounding. “Kid, if you want to be torn to shreds, that’s between you and the banshees. The woods aren’t exactly friendly at the best of times, least of all when the sun goes down.”

“O-oh.” Caden flinched, looking to the trees with fright as if the shadows themselves would prove hostile. A loud sigh was heard above him, and Caden felt himself nudged in the back by Markus’ finger.

“I’m just setting ya down, need my hands free.” Markus instructed, watching the human hurriedly depart onto the ground with an amused smirk.

Caden shifted his weight, watching Markus take off his gigantic backpack and set it on the forest floor with a thud, the trembles in the ground making Caden stumble slightly.

“So… what are you doing out here? Do you live here?” Caden glanced around, taking in more of their surroundings. There was the roaring fire in the middle of the clearing (hard to miss, really), and the bag Markus was currently rustling through. And… that was it.

Markus shrugged. “‘For the time being.”

Caden frowned. What a depressing response, after all this clearing wasn’t exactly a home. But then Caden came to the horrible conclusion that even with Markus’ meager possessions and patch of dirt on the ground, Markus was still doing better than himself.

Caden had nothing. He owned nothing save for the clothes on his back, no tools to help him survive out in the wilderness. After all, Caden was never meant to survive. As far as his home was concerned, Caden was already dead. He wouldn’t be welcomed back. In fact, if he tried to return Caden didn’t doubt they would throw him to the beasts a second time, and the next creature to find him was likely to be more bloodthirsty.

It hurt, knowing everyone who had ever known Caden viewed him as a traitor and a liar. Caden had cried out for their sympathy and gotten nothing but blank stares. Who does that? What use were rules that could be exploited so readily? Caden shuddered, thinking of any individuals who were sacrificed before his time. Were they too innocent? How much unnecessary bloodshed was on the elder’s hands?

“Hungry?”

Caden blinked, broken out of his musings by the rumbling tones of Markus’ voice. “Pardon?”

Markus held a scrap of bread between his fingers, to the giant a miniscule portion but to Caden a loaf the size of his head. It was ripped off of a larger loaf still held in Markus’ other hand, clearly what he had been searching for in the bag. Markus offered the scrap in Caden’s direction.

The human paused, carefully considering the offer. He should probably eat, but with the events of the day still weighing heavily on his mind, Caden found himself without much of an appetite.

“Take it.” Markus advised. “It’ll help.” Caden gave him a confused glance, to which Markus only shrugged. “When your burden is heavy, I find it’s best to focus on surviving. Then the rest will follow.”

Caden blinked, surprised at the wisdom in Markus’ words. “Are you a mind reader?” He asked, stepping forward to carefully grasp the bread.

Markus chuckled, releasing the bread into Caden’s grasp. “You’re not exactly subtle with your brooding.” Markus teased, taking a bite of his own loaf almost as large as Caden himself (not a pleasant comparison). “Besides, it’s not hard to guess what you’re thinking with the day you’ve had. I’ve been there.”

Caden bristled, a bit peeved that Markus would pretend to understand his plight. “You’ve been kicked out of the only home you’ve ever known and sacrificed to beasts?”

Surprisingly, Markus gave a nod. “Something like that.”

Caden blinked, having not expected that response. He stammered for a moment, searching for the right words to reply, before settling on none and filling his mouth hesitantly with bread. It was a bit stale, and perhaps flavorless, but with nothing better to do, Caden diligently nibbled on his own loaf. At the same time, Caden tried to tune out the sounds of munching far above his head that did nothing to help Caden’s lack of an appetite.

“I’ve only got one blanket.” Markus spoke up again, drawing Caden’s attention upward to make eye contact. “But you could probably sleep in the bag tonight. Didn’t exactly think to bring tiny accommodations with me wherever I travel.”

“Oh, uh…” Caden glanced at the bag, having not even thought of something as trivial as sleeping arrangements. It hardly felt relevant in the grand scheme of Caden’s current miseries. “I’m not really tired.” He admitted, for despite the exhausting events of the day, Caden was still on edge with the fear of what might happen to him in the night outside the safety of familiar walls. There were the beasts prowling the forest, and Markus himself could still be a very real threat if Caden’s luck turned.

Markus squinted, considering Caden’s response for a moment. “You’re not gonna run off and get yourself killed in the night, are ya?”

Caden took the time to truly consider the question. Of course he didn’t want to get himself killed, but given the opportunity, would Caden run from Markus?

“No.” Caden shook his head with confidence. “Not tonight.”

Markus snorted. “Alright, the offer still stands. Stay near the fire at least, it keeps the rabble at bay.” Having given his last words of advice, Markus pulled the blanket out of his bag, setting the bag closer to the fire for easy access. It was a small detail that Caden appreciated, even if he still didn’t plan to take advantage of it. Markus himself curled slightly around the fire at a distance, almost as a barrier between Caden and the outside world.

Or a way to keep me in, Caden reminded himself. It was easy to forget that Markus was virtually a stranger. Caden knew nothing about this giant or his motives, only that Markus had spared him when it could’ve been so easy to abandon him entirely or kill Caden himself. What did Markus have to gain helping Caden? And what would Markus expect of Caden come morning?

“Goodnight, Caden.” Markus murmured, his eyes closed as he settled in.

Caden sat by the fire, giving his savior a contemplative glance. “...goodnight, Markus.”

[zahneundklauen-retired]

Growing The Pack || Alcher and Kitty

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @kallmekitty and @zahneundklauen SUMMARY: Alcher and Kitty run into each other downtown. Alcher is excited for a new member of the pack and Kitty is just excited to meet a wolf who knows more than her. CONTENT: Family death mentions

Sometimes, Kitty knew, days were just shit, and this was one of those shit days. Her alarm hadn’t gone off, so she’d woken up in a panic. She’d rushed to get dressed, throwing on her uniform and searching her tiny room for her shoes before she grabbed a jacket and her keys and headed out the door. But it was a shit day, and that meant that whatever could go wrong would go wrong. When Kitty tried to start her truck, it wouldn’t. She cursed up a storm, but it didn’t matter. Damn thing wasn’t gonna be running in time for her to get to work. So she did the only logical thing that she possibly could: she took off running. Her legs were long and she was in great shape. She’d make it to Flipped in no time. It was a few minutes into her run, maybe going a little faster than she should, that Kitty turned a corner and barrelled right into someone. “Son of a bitch,” she said, picking herself off the ground and dusting herself off before she held out her hand for the woman. “I’m so sorry. I really need to watch where I’m going.”

With Luis now staying at the farmhouse, Alcher found herself in a strange position. The boy, though wolf, insisted on eating normal human food in the normal human way. This meant Alcher needed to go to the store and get food and figure out how to cook it in a kitchen that only had a manual gas stove and a sink. No oven, no microwave, no freezer. Not that Alcher would’ve really known how to use those things if she’d had them, but she figured she could try and learn, if it made Luis feel better. So now she was in town, heading to a grocery store, with human money, so that she could buy fresh food to cook. Until she was turning a corner and being knocked into, stumbling only a little while the other person fell to the ground. That was when she felt it, smelled it, the familiar scent of a wolf. Alcher’s golden eyes turned onto the redheaded girl in excitement. “You are a wolf,” she stated simply, not moving to take her hand quite yet. Her optimism was more peaked since meeting Murphy, but she still needed to be on her guard.

Still not particularly used to using her nose to pick people out, Kitty blinked at the other woman. The other wolf. “I… yes, I am.” When was the last time she’d met another wolf? There’d only been a handful after the one that turned her, eager and bright eyed and asking her about her pack, if she wanted to be pack. Strength in numbers and all that. Kitty, though, was doing just fine on her own. She looked around them, making sure they weren’t surrounded by folks that could potentially make this a rather unfortunate conversation. “You’re also a wolf.” Kitty could smell others on the woman, too, as if she was not alone. She probably had a pack. She smelled like forest, like wilderness. It was almost a homey smell, but all wolves smelled like that to Kitty. She imagined it was some under-utilized animal instinct. She let her hand drop, brushing it against her uniform skirt. “I’m forgettin’ my manners. I’m Kitty Sheridan. Well, Katherine Sheridan, I suppose, but Kitty’s just fine.”

The younger wolf looked at Alcher in surprise, and she waited to see what else her reaction might be. She seemed unsure, as if she didn’t really know what to do, until she was brushing her hand off and dropping it, retracting her human custom. Alcher tilted her head curiously before looking back at the woman. “Ada,” she said simply. “A strange name, for a wolf.” It wasn’t that Alcher didn’t like cats, she didn’t mind them, a few even lived on the farm as barn cats-- but it felt almost cruel to call oneself Kitty while being anything but. “You are new to town? I have not seen you around.” Was she part of another pack? Alcher didn’t sense any other wolves on her, smell them. She smelled more like pancakes and syrup and cherry and human. A wolf among humans. Was she lost, like Luis? Did she have control of her wolf? They were all things Alcher wanted to know, but she feared scaring off the girl too soon, so she kept quiet and hoped she’d stick around long enough for her to find out.

“Nice to meet ya, Ada,” Kitty said, rocking back on her heels. She cocked her head, almost in a mirroring motion. “I mean, it was my name before I was a wolf. Didn’t realize I was supposed to pick out a wolf specific name.” She wasn’t giving up her damn name. It was hers, and she liked it, and it was kind of funny, really. She let her expression turn conspiratory, as if she was sharing a secret. “Nobody’s really told me how this whole wolf thing works, so I’ve been winging it a little, I won’t lie.” She was trying to act cool and confident, but, really, being around another wolf, and one who so clearly knew what she was doing, was strange. Kitty wanted a cigarette, just something to calm her nerves. She almost pulled one out of the pack in her pocket, but she refrained. “I’m pretty new, yeah. Been here over a month now. I don’t do much more than work and go out sometimes.” She shrugged. “All work and no play ain’t really the most fun, but it’s livin’, I guess.”

“And you,” Alcher said, nodding her head. That answered Alcher’s question, the girl was bitten. Alcher tried not to judge between those bitten and born, but she couldn’t help but feel a tad disappointed. Those who were bitten always felt so human and she hadn’t ever figured out how to make them see that they were not, and could not be. They were wolf, now, and they needed to accept that. “If you would like to know how it all works, I would be more than happy to show you,” she offered. “It must be difficult, being on your own with this.” Alcher couldn’t understand what it felt like, to be one thing and become another, but she could understand what being a lone wolf felt like. “You have a human job?”

“I mean, I’ve been makin’ it alright for a year or so,” Kitty said. She’d met wolves, she’d turned down wolves. Why did she keep turning them down? Was it that being a wolf left a taste in her mouth that reminded her of a dead boy, one that should have been with her? Pack. If anyone other than her family was going to be that word, it would’ve been the boy that’d had her back since she was knee high to a grasshopper. Kitty smiled, nice and easy. “But I suppose I could do for a little bit of being shown things. Just to make sure I’m doin’ the whole loner thing right. Don’t wanna start munchin’ on the villagers.” She couldn’t stop that confusion working its way onto her system again, making her headcock to the other side. “I… Yeah? I work at Flipped, the breakfast joint.” She paused. “D’you… not have a, uh, human job?”

It was a disappointment right away, when it seemed the wolf was setting up to reject Alcher’s offer. But then she rescinded it and gave her just a trickle more of hope. She was the first other wolf Alcher had met since getting an official pack together-- she knew there were more, and she still counted Ulfric, but he was across the sea, helping another pack out-- so the prospect was exciting. She grinned, sweetly. “If in the very least, I know the best places around to change. The safest.” She tried not to frown. “Yes, we would not want that, would we?” Of course she sympathized with humans, she had been one, probably until rather recently, with how unprepared this wolf seemed. Alcher simply wanted to help show her how much better she was now. “Flipped?” Alcher shrugged. “A man sometimes calls me to help him build homes and gives me cash. I suppose that might count as a job, but I have little need for human money.” Not when everything she ate couldn’t be found in a store. 

“Yeah?” Kitty asked, perking up at the thought of somewhere safe to change. “To avoid folks, right? Hikers and hunters and hunters and the like? I’ve got a set of chains that I’d use. It’d be nice to be somewhere that I’m not riskin’ getting hurt or hurting anybody.” She tended to wrap her wrists so as to make sure that she didn’t end up burning them with the silver on the chains, but she knew that wasn’t the only vulnerability that she faced every full moon. She was a sitting duck. Well, a sitting wolf. “Yeah, yeah, they serve all day breakfast. Pancakes and bacon and eggs and shit.” That was interesting. Kitty herself was no stranger to manual labor. In fact, she enjoyed it. She missed helping out around the farm all the time. In the town she’d been in before White Crest, she’d picked up odd jobs on the weekends, yardwork typically since the weather was good. “Y’know, if you ever need help with that and it’s on the weekends, or one of my days off, I wouldn’t mind helping.”

“Yes,” Alcher confirmed, “to avoid others.” None of those were really a problem, it was just often annoying running into someone when all you wanted was to stretch your legs and run and hunt and howl. Alcher furrowed her brows. “Chains are unnecessary. Holding in the wolf only makes it more vicious, harder to control.” And chaining oneself put them at risk. There was a great danger to a wolf being held in one place. It was never something Alcher would ever consider, even when she was losing control, even after she’d hurt Leah. She snapped back to the conversation, forgetting she asked about Katherine’s human job. “Ah, well…if it makes you feel better, then I do not see a problem in working there.” To what end a wolf would want a job for, Alcher didn’t really know, but it wasn’t always her business. Some wolves couldn’t be changed. “Oh? Well, I am currently trying to build a barn on my property. If you would like, I could pay you to help me.” Perhaps being around this wolf more could help Alcher scope her out and see if she could be a potential packmate. Help her figure out who she was, now that she was a wolf.

Shrugging, Kitty said, “I’d rather do that than get loose. I try to force a change nearer to the new moon when I can to get out extra energy.” The past year had been an experiment in trial and error on what worked best in taming herself. She couldn’t remember most of her shifts, only recently starting to get flashes of what happened, but she knew that it got harder to control around the full moon and impossible to change during the new one. Her theory was that she wasn’t as likely to be running rampant during the times when the wolf seemed weakest, she seemed weakest. She wasn’t sure if she was right, but she was testing it out and seeing how it went. It was just like being a kid and watching one of her sisters do trial and error with potion making. “Glad to have your approval, ma’am,” Kitty said, smiling a little teasingly, as if it was a necessity for her to get another wolf’s approval for a job. “You can stop in if you want. I suppose I can get a, uh, wolf/family discount or something.” It might be nice to have a wolf that she didn’t turn away after immediately getting to know them. She genuinely perked up, though. “Barn building? I’m great at that, actually. Helped out with it a few times myself.”

Alcher nearly cringed at the use of the word “force”. A change should not be forced, it should be welcomed, it should be let free. She didn’t know how to explain that to a wolf who still hung on to their human persona. “I understand not wanting to hurt others. I can help you with control, if you wish, so you no longer have to resort to such…methods.” She spoke slowly and clearly, choosing her words carefully. She wanted this young wolf to trust her. She wanted to help her, to offer her a choice. A pack. “Stop in? I…do not often go to…those kinds of places,” she said, trying to remember the word for where humans served food in English. She scratched her head. “I apologize, English is not my first language.” But the girl seemed to perk up at the mention of a barn, and Alcher thought this might be what she could offer the girl to help bring her into the fold. “Yes, a barn. I live on a farm, in a house me and my old mate built together. I have some animals roaming the grounds and thought a barn might provide them safe haven.” 

“That’d be appreciated,” Kitty said, noting the careful way that Ada spoke but not commenting on it. This was a wolf, a woman that was more wolf than woman. It was likely that she didn’t approve of some of Kitty’s methods, but Kitty really just didn’t care all that much. She was doing just fine. Sometimes, it was better to keep something locked away rather than let it run loose and hurt folks. “Oh, that’s alright. Diner food ain’t for everyone,” she said, her voice breezy. “You know, I had a teacher once tell me she was surprised that English was my first language with the way I was failin’ her class. I think you’re doing just fine with it, honestly.” A farm. God, Kitty missed living on a farm. She’d helped out around a couple of them since she’d been traveling, raising barns and tending to livestock where she could. She’d thought about being a traveling ranchhand, for a time. She might still do it, if she ever decides to head out west. She’d be even further from home, though. Did she want that? “I grew up on a farm, so helpin’ out around them’s kinda in my blood. If you need a hand, I’m always down.”

“Then I will help you,” Alcher said firmly, as if that was really all that mattered. A simply okay. She didn’t really understand the need for specifics or to explain anything. It was just known between wolves. Or, supposed to be. “Diner? Is that what your place is called?” She’d thought it was a different name, something with an ‘r’. Something she always found difficulty saying. “Your English sounds fine to me. I do not understand why someone would say that. Especially a teacher. Are they not supposed to help their children?” That’s what her father had told her, at least. He hadn’t led her astray before. “Thank you, though. That is kind of you to say.” She perked up a bit and smiled at that. “You are welcome by any time. I am still working on materials to build it and must wait till it warms to begin building, but if you would like to come see, I can show you around.”

Was it a relief to Kitty that someone was offering to help her? She didn’t know. She hadn’t given in before, too damn stubborn to ask for help or take it where it was offered from a few of the other wolves she’d met along the way. Maybe it was time she stopped that, if she ever wanted to make it home. Did she want to go home? Home had her family, her friends, but it also had Parker’s grave, and she could still remember the taste in her mouth when she’d woken up the next day, both of them supposed to be changed, and yet she was alive but there was nothing left of him. “Yeah, yeah, a diner’s like a real not fancy restaurant.” Kitty laughed. “Well, I almost flunked outta English a couple of times, so apparently it’s not my strong suit. And, sure, they are, but tough love and all that, you know?” And it wasn’t like Kitty was stupid, she just didn’t pay attention, sometimes, her mind always on other, better things. “Of course! And, y’know, if you need help gathering things, I don’t mind. Grounds a little hard for building, but the weather don’t really bother me in terms of getting outside and doing stuff. I’d like to see the place, though.”

Alcher couldn’t help the rush of flattery she felt when the other wolf had a profound interest in seeing her home. Ariana liked the farmhouse well enough, but she’d always refused to come live in it, saying she preferred to be close to the town and her friends. Alcher understood that, she needed to explore and find herself, but she often found the house lonely. At least Murphy would be there some days, now. “I will come see it sometime. Perhaps not…today. But soon.” She looked down at her rather ragged clothes. “I would wear something nicer.” She tilted her head again, then nodded sagely. “Yes, I am familiar. My father employed tough love on me and my brothers quite often.” She gave a genuine smile, tired as it crinkled the edges of her eyes. She was growing old. “How about you come by this weekend to see the place? We can scout where best to build the farm and start gathering supplies.”

“Sure, sure, today’s not the best day to come in, anyway. Special’s kinda meh,” Kitty said, thinking about how the diner’s attempt at incorporating oysters into the mix, a growing effort that apparently had been years in the making, was experimental at best, in her opinion. Best to just wait for clam chowder days. “No need to dress too fancy,” she teased. “You should see what some a’ the fishermen come in wearing, stinkin’ up to high heaven. They’d clear your sinuses right up if your nose was stuffy, though.” Smells were the best and worst part of being like this, Kitty had come to think. Good things smelled really good, but bad things were disgusting. “Parents, am I right?” Though, truthfully, Kitty’s dad was a gruff ol’ papa bear, but he was all fluff on the inside. Mama was the one that required at least one phone call a day and knowledge about where she was, what she was doing, how she was making it. It was sweet. It was suffocating from hundreds of miles away. “Yeah! Sounds great. I can swing by. Just let me know when and where. I can bring my truck for cartin’ stuff around. Something’s up with the engine, but I should have it taken care of by then.”

Alcher gave a short smile. Her sense of smell often far outmatched even another wolf’s. It came as an overcompensation for her worsening eyes. “I do not suppose a fisherman has much care for how he smells,” she said back, a little coyness to her gaze, “he works with fish, after all.” Alcher didn’t mind fish, but it never filled her up as much as a deer or elk might. Even rabbit was better. Or squirrel. “They are difficult because they love us,” she answered. Or, perhaps, loved. Though after everything, Alcher had come to wonder if that might’ve been true. If all the pained glances her mother had given her when she’d barked back her father’s trainings like a good little pup weren’t because she’d been disappointed in her. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on those thoughts, though. She had things to look forward to in the present, so she would focus on those. “And you have a car? I must be lucky,” she stated, nodding. “I am not good about the telephone thing, but you can call me or message me, too, if you need anything before Saturday.” She grabbed her old phone out of her pocket and held it out to Kitty. “Some of the local children have taken to calling me a, er, boomer I believe was the word. I am rather technology illiterate, though I do not see what booming has to do with that.”

Laughing, Kitty couldn’t help but say, “I suppose you’re right. At this point, I doubt they even smell it anymore.” She remembered how, at one point, how she’d spent so much time working cattle that when she’d been changed and actually got a whiff of what the farm really smelled like, she’d nearly been knocked over. Cow shit already smelled bad. Cow shit with super senses smelled even worse. “I suppose that’s true.” And Kitty knew her parents loved her. She knew they’d probably still love her, if they knew what she’d done, what she’d become. She guess that she was just ashamed. She’d chosen to be this way to have something that was hers, hers and Parkers, and it had backfired royally. Now, he was dead, and she was too scared to go back home. “Sure, it should be in tip-top shape by the time we need it. It’s real handy at cartin’ things around.” And the truck bed, while not an actual bed by any means, wasn’t the most uncomfortable place to sleep. She took the phone from the older wolf, punching in her number and her name as KITTY :) before she handed it back. “Same to you. Just lemme know. And boomer’s more… generational than technical. Don’t worry about it.” Kitty was running late. She needed to go. Still, she smiled. “It was real nice to meet you, Ada.” And she meant it.

Alcher nodded. “It is probably their norm.” As hers was the forest, but she was very aware of all smells, all the time. She had to be, in order to pick out unfamiliar scents and threats. “Family can be found as well as born, too,” she added on quietly. Sometimes family was taken from you, and sometimes you had to leave behind what was once family. But either way, a new one could always be made. That was what Alcher ultimately wanted here. A new family. Not just a pack, but those to call her own. “Ah, generational, understood,” she nodded, as if she did understand, but it was relatively beyond her realm of comprehension. Still, it was nice of Kitty to try and explain. And it had been even nicer to meet her. She took her phone back and smiled at the name in her phone. “It was real nice to meet you, too, Kitty with a smile,” she said back teasingly. “I can not wait to show you the farm. Till then, stay safe, yes?” She waved the girl off as she rushed to work, and as she did, Alcher couldn’t help but feel a swell of joy. Finally, things seemed to be looking up. There was just one problem. One problem she planned on taking care of soon.

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)

God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao

next one might honestly be smut idk

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.

The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.

She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.

Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.

The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.

She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.

She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.

She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.

She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?

She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks. 

Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))

Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.

Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.

She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons. 

She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to  fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.

And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.

Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?

I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.

Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?

I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.

You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.

I was going to! But  I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!

What if you had gotten hurt?

Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.

So, your car got towed huh?

Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend. 

You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.

You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.

But you’re a C-list celebrity.

Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.

You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.

I’ll think about it.

You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?

Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.

Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.

Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.

Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.

She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.

The press can suck my dick. she said.

You have a dick?

Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.

Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.

lmfao is it now?

Oh yeah.

Nice.

Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today,  I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?

Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.

Are you bi? 

I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in  high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.

Which one?

I’ll show you if I come over tonight.

My brothers might be in my room, though.

Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.

You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?

I’m very easy to convince.

You still have notes to write when you come over though.

Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.

Do you not own a printer?

I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail. 

How do you even manage?

With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.

And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.

Y/N! C’mere. One said.

Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?

We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.

A what.

We’re getting married!

Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.

I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.

I’m this close to going back on DND.

The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.

They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.

They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them. 

Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.

Because fuck the press, dude. Why else? 

What did they do to you?

Have you seen the recent articles?

That’s true.

She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.

“I thought you were staying with Jason?”

“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”

“You walked?”

“Car got towed.”

“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”

“Nope.”

“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”

She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”

“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”

“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”

“I know it is, when’s your class?”

“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”

“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”

“You’ll pull through it.”

-------------------------------------------

She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.

She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.

And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,

“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.

“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”

“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”

“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”

“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”

“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”

“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”

“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”

“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..

“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”

“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”

“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”

“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”

“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”

“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”

“I forget you know everyone.”

“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”

“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”

“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”

“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.

“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.

“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”

“Two can play that game.”

They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.

She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.

But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.

When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.

“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”

“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.

“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.

“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.

They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.

The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.

Hey baby, are you coming over?

I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.

You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.

Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.

Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.

Ha! Scared of her?

Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?

You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.

Dhmu.

That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.

That’s unfair.

I thought you said don’t hit me up?

Fuck.

Checkmate.

I am upset.

No you’re not.

No I’m not.

She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.

“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.

“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.

He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.

“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.

And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.

“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.

“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.

Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.

Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”

“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”

“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”

“I really can’t.”

“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”

“That’s obvious.”

“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.

“I know.”

She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.

“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.

“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”

“You did what?’

“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.

“I will say again, you did what?”

“Something stupid?” she said.

“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”

“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”

“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”

Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”

“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.

“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it’s far-fetched-”

“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”

“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.

“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.

“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”

“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”

“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.

“Ha ha.”

“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”

Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”

“Have I been staring?”

“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”

“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”

“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”

“Language.”

“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”

“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.

“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.

“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.

“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.

“Oh!” and he died.

“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”

------------------------------

Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to  do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.

Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.

Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”

“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”

“Because I know you want more.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.