#the last shot OOOF!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hauntingblue]

Army of bastards akdhaksjsks YEAAAAAHHH

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ��� While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[arctrooper69]

Mysterious Ways

An unfortunate accident could have very fortunate consequences.

A/N: First of my @clonexreaderbingo fics! For the "Cody" square 🥰

Warnings: Accidental nudity mentioned? Embarrassing situations?

--------------------------------------------------

"Fives! Fives! Echo!" You dashed down the hall of the Resolute, trying to get their attention. The two clones spun around, raising an eyebrow at your panicked expression.

"Commander?!" Echo sounded concerned.

You paused to catch your breath.

"I...I need your help with something!"

Fives smirked and crossed his arms, "Must be something pretty important."

Your face turned red. "Uh well....so you see..." You scratched the back of your neck nervously.

Echo sighed, rolling his eyes, "Oh no, what did you do?"

"Ok, so I need you guys to distract Commander Cody so that I can grab his datapad and delete a few things."

Fives looked confused.

Echo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Again, what did you do!?"

You sighed and looked at the ground. Your feet had suddenly become very interesting. "Uhm...well..." You coughed. Fives was leaning up against the wall clearly invested in whatever your reasoning was.

"So uhm...I was working with Commander Cody the other day and I was a little late with the reports. So this morning he asked me to send him the reports. So I did. Or at least I thought I did. Then I realized I'd clicked on the wrong file and sent him....not my reports."

You could feel the embarrassed heat burning through your face, threatening to consume you. Part of you wished it would. Then you wouldn't have to deal with this.

The boys were silent for a minute.

"So what'd you send him?" Echo asked, furrowing his brow, "It couldn't have been that bad."

"Uhh...yeah... So I had some photos on my datapad...."

"Holy shit, you didn't!" Fives' mouth dropped open; his face filled with a combination of shock and glee.

You looked up at him in horror and nodded slowly.

"You mean you sent Marshal Commander Cody your nudes!?" He cackled.

"Shhhh!" You tried to shush him. "Don't say it out loud! I didn't mean to!"

"Siths Hells..." Echo sighed, running a hand down his face. The muscles in his jaw quivered as he fought in vain to keep the corners of his lips from curling up into an incredulous grin - a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

You hopped back and forth nervously from one foot to the other, "So....are you gonna help me or not?"

"Yeah I....ooof" Fives began and was cut off, catching Echo's elbow in the gut.

"What was....oh...shit..." Fives turned his eyes to the hall behind you. His grin got even wider.

"Oh this oughta be good."

"What...?" you raised an eyebrow in confusion, turning your head to see what had gotten his attention. General Kenobi strolled down the hall accompanied by none other than the Marshal Commander Cody himself, datapad in hand.

"Welp....we gotta go!" Echo said quickly, dragging his brother by the arm. You shot him a panicked look.

"No, no don't...!" You whispered harshly, begging them, but with a quick salute to the General, they were already well on their way down the hall.

Traitors. You muttered under your breath. You didn't have to use the Force to feel the breath hitch in the Commanders throat as the two paused before you.

He knew. Oh Force. He knew.

"Master Kenobi," you bowed, respectfully acknowledging the Jedi Master. He replied in kind, saying nothing else, but if you could feel the tension in the hall, then he certainly could.

You nodded with a professional stiffness towards the clone. "Commander."

He replied with a curt nod of his own. "Commander."

You were glad his helmet was on, preventing you from seeing the look on his face.

After a brief moment that seemed to last an eternity, the pair continued down the hall resuming their conversation.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding.

Oh Force, I need a drink.

A ping from your com interrupted your thoughts and you looked down. A message from Fives:

79's tonight?

Sounds good. I need a drink.

Great. See you there!

****

79's was already packed by the time you made it down to the clone bar. Both the 501st and the 212th were on shore leave for a few days - a rare occurrence but well deserved. The war was going well for once. You took a seat in a booth close to the bar waiting for Fives and his brother, taking in the chaotic but familiar scene. The air smelt like stale beer and cheap cologne. It'd been awhile since you'd last been out to a place like this.

"So! Tell us all about it." Fives slid into the booth behind you. You jumped, so caught up in your own thoughts that you hadn't noticed the pair of them come over.

"Yeah, how awkward was it?" Questioned Echo, sitting down on the other side of you. "Did he say anything?"

You shook your head. "Nope. And hopefully he never will!"

Fives cracked a grin. "The General definitely knew though."

"No. No he did not!" You leaned forward, forcefully pointing your finger at him.

Echo grinned as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back into the booth. "Oh yeah. He totally did. He's got the whole Jedi thing going for him."

"Hey!" You protested, "I'm a Jedi too!"

Fives laughed. "Yeah but you weren't subtle...like.... at all. Even if he doesn't know exactly what's up, he definitely knows something was weird between the two of you."

"And besides that," Echo chimed in, "Cody is General Kenobi's second in command. They probably know each other pretty well."

You sighed and ran a hand down your face, chuckling at the absurdity of the whole situation.

"If this was supposed to make me feel better, you failed miserably."

Echo patted your shoulder and took a another drink.

Fives downed the rest of his own. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Cody didn't mind." He winked.

You choked and Echo smacked you on the back, simultaneously kicking Fives under the table.

"You know what? I think I'm gonna get us some more drinks!" You stood up suddenly, and nodded to yourself. "Yep. More drinks."

Sighing to yourself, you made your way over to the bar. If Commander Cody had feelings for you, did that make this whole thing better or worse?

A clone made his way over to the bar, the yellow in the shoulder bell of his armor caught your eye and you turned.

Oh no. Out of all places, of course you'd find him here. You turned to run, ready to slip away unnoticed into the crowd of rowdy patrons but it was too late. He'd already noticed you. You could tell he was trying hard to ignore you, but when you turned away, you could feel his eyes burning through the back of your head.

Curious, you turned so that you could see him out of the corner of your eye. Just enough to gauge his reactions but not enough to make it seem like you were staring at the Marshal Commander.

You glanced over at him and he seemed to have the same idea. He stood frozen, eyes locked with yours. It felt impossible.

"Can I take your order, miss?" The bartender waved her hand in front of your face. You glanced over at her impatient expression. You rolled your eyes, both annoyed at her interruption and thankful that you now had a chance to run from it all.

"No thanks!" You called to her over your shoulder as you slipped from the barstool into the crowd of patrons. A pit formed in your stomach. Now you just wanted to go home - away from the embarrassment you'd be sure to face once confronted by the Marshal Commander.

"Wait!" He called out, walking briskly after you, pushing through a crowd of his drunk brothers paying no attention to their annoyed grumbling.

"Will you please just wait!?"

You paused, stepping into an unoccupied supply room. A gloved hand caught the door before you could swing it closed. He ran his fingers through his hair, dislodging a few errant strands from his professionally kempt military cut.

There was a difference, you realized, between Cody and the Marshal Commander rank he embodied. It was a very fine line, but a difference all the same. It was Cody whose gloved hands gave way to calloused fingers and nails that were subconsciously chewed too short. It was Cody whose face was creased by furrowing lines of concentration and concern.

It was the Marshal Commander's dark and stern eyes that gave way to Cody's subtle spark of kindness.

"Cody...." You began, unsure of what to even say. You knew now, how you felt towards this man.

He held up a hand and you paused.

"I just have to ask you one thing..." he took a breath. "Did you mean to send me those pictures?"

You breathed out a laugh. "No. Not exactly." You paused, glancing up to meet those warm, honey brown eyes. "But I'm glad I did."

"I don't think we'd have ever done this if you hadn't."

Done what? You were about to say, but Cody's mouth violently answered the unspoken question as he pressed his lips into yours.

"The Force works in mysterious ways" you panted as he pulled away, only to pull you right back into his arms.

Thank you @staycalmandhugaclone for beta reading this!

--------------------------------------------------

@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @thrawns-teef-weef @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97 @jambolska-grozdova @flyingkangaroo @melymigo @rain-on-kamino @jiabeewrites @my-own-oracle @dragonrider9905 @queenofspades6 @ordinarylokix @jupitersaturnapollo @queencousland101 @vampirerouge @southernbaguette @staycalmandhugaclone @dalu-grantkylo @dangraccoon @aconstructofamind @blueink-bluesoul @kixs-husband @pb-jellybeans @atomickidsoul @caitnotfound @temmiegailg

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

[desertdollranch]

Earlier this month, American Girl re-released a whole lot of long-retired stuff from Kit Kittredge’s collection. 

Kit herself never actually went anywhere. There was just nothing to buy for her. Doll, book, and that was it. But it’s the 20′s now, and AG is slowly turning the focus back to the historical characters. They’ve finally acknowledged that Kit is an icon and deserves to have the nice things that we all so desperately want to give her.

I was looking at the new stuff on the Wiki because I was curious to see if there were any changes made to anything. It’s part of the “homework” I do for the purposes of doll blogging. While doing that, I noticed that the page for each product mentions how much each item originally cost, alongside what it costs now. 

For example: Kit’s school outfit.

This was first sold for $22 when it was released in 2000, along with the first half of Kit’s debut collection. Now they’re charging $38 for it, an increase of $16 or 72%. I thought that sounded a little excessive, even if 2000 really and truly was more than twenty years ago and inflation has gone wild since the pandemic began three years ago.

So I ran the numbers through the inflation calculator operated by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. 

Look at that. It’s basically spot on. $22 in 2000, adjusted for inflation, is equivalent to $38.23 in 2023. I’ve been proven wrong.

I did the same calculation for her birthday dress and her pajamas, and those were both pretty much the same, since they were and still are similar in cost to the school outfit. 

Now for her cute little scooter, made from a box of California oranges.

This was a later addition to her collection, coming along in 2006 for the price of $24. In 2023 it is now being sold for $50, a $26 or 108% increase. Let’s see how that tracks when adjusted for inflation. 

Ooof. $24 in 2006 should only be $35.70 in today’s money, or $14.30 less than what it’s actually being sold for. So if this one feels a little overpriced, then it probably is, assuming that the materials and quality are the same. Both versions are made of faux wood, which means that the recently skyrocketing price of wood won’t affect this. Maybe there’s another increased cost somewhere that I’m not aware of. Or maybe AG has added a small nostalgia tax, a sort of “buy it from us or pay big bucks to someone selling it secondhand” reminder.

Another accessory that was brought back was Kit’s school lunch.

This set includes her metal lunchbox, an embroidered napkin, a cheese sandwich, an oatmeal raisin cookie, apple slices, and for some reason.... three whole entire raw carrots. (There’s nothing wrong with carrots, but like. When’s the last time you’ve even seen an adult eat three whole carrots for lunch. Carrots are huge.)

Anyway. It was sold for $16 when it was released in 2000, and now they’re selling it for $36, a $20 or 125% increase.

$16 in 2000 would be equivalent to $27.80, so her lunch set is overpriced by $8.20, assuming the cost of materials/labor have risen proportionally. 

And finally, Grace the dog. Named for her distinct lack of grace and adorable clumsiness. Sold for $16 when she was released with the second half of Kit’s debut collection. Now selling for $28 which is an increase of $12 or 75%.

A 75% increase is very similar to Kit’s school outfit selling at a $72% increase, so my guess was that this is going to be a more reasonable price hike.

Adjusted for inflation, $16 in 2001 is now equivalent to $27.30, so Grace is in fact underpriced by 70 cents! Personally I think AG charges a bit too much for all of their doll pets, but that’s just me.

All of this was really surprising to me. Inflation happens so quietly in everyday life. It’s only been really noticeable in the last three years, when it seems like everything has shot up in price. 

The inflation calculator goes all the way back to 1913. Now if you really want to see what those small changes look like after 90 years, check out how much a $150 doll like Kit herself would have cost in 1932, when her stories began: 

You’d only need $6.71 in your pocket to bring Kit home. Imagine that. 

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias - Lost in Sardinia Part 5/8

Ooof, this chapter. 😮‍💨

It's a long read and I received some great advice following the last chapter, on how to use the correct warnings for chapters that are explicit or triggering in anyway.

I don't think this chapter need any warnings, other than that it deals with anxiety and confrontation.

Summary - Ruben is on a getaway in Sardinia. There he meets a girl named Fiorella. She starts to wonder why Ruben won't tell her what exactly he is getting away from, or even what his real name is.

Enjoy!

Fiorella stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the straps of her bridesmaid dress. Chiara's dress fitting happned at a beauty parlor in town, the owner of the parlor was a seamstresses who happened to be a dear friend of Nonna's.

"What is this Chiara? Are you having a wedding or a funeral?" Sophia studied her bridesmaids dress in the mirror, looking very displeased with the choices Chiara had made for them.

"Don't be bitter just because the dress has no cleavage." Chiara chuckled. She came up behind Fiorella, resting her chin on her sisters shoulder. "How do you like the dress Rella?"

"It's fine."

Chiara frowned. "Just fine?"

Fiorella raised her head, realizing that she had been drifting away. "I mean it's perfect Chiara, it's really pretty."

"Don't lie now Fiorella. The two of us can still vote for another dress."

"You wouldn't?" Chiara gasped.

"Watch me." Sophia challenged. "I'll tell Miss Bedotti right now."

"No you won't. Get back here Sophia!"

The two of them ended up chasing each other around the beauty parlor. Fiorella kept tugging at her dress in front of the mirror. She had to agree with Sophia on this one, she wasn't feeling the dress. Not because it showed too little skin, the opposite really. Fiorella's eyes fell upon the reflection staring back at her, she couldn't shake off the feeling that the dress showed too much skin, making her feel exposed and vulnerable.

"Okay, fine." Sophia surrendered, sruggling to catch her breath. "Since it's your wedding and all, I guess I can compromise on wearing an ugly dress. It's only for one day, right?"

"Geee Sophia, how generous of you."

The the two of them returned to the big mirror where Fiorella stood.

"It settled, you're wearing the dress." Chiara said victoriously.

"Great."

"Fiorella, what's with you?" Chiara met her sisters reflection, expressing her concern. "Why have you been so down lately?"

"Haven't you heard." Sophia fell back against one of the leather sofas. She reached for the tray of pastries placed on the table before her.

"Heard what?"

"Fiorella has fallen for some tourists in town. I'm assuming it's not working out so well."

"Is this true?" Chiara said, turning back to meet her sister gaze in the mirror.

"Apparently he's some kind of big shot hiker from Portugal. What was his name again, Rory?"

"Ruben." Fiorella hissed. "His name is Ruben."

Fiorella told her sister about her troubles in confidence. After what happned with Ruben on his boat she hadn't been able to shake the nasty feeling in her gut, the feeling that what happned between them wasn't right, and so she told her sister about it, or at least about the mixed emotions that she had.

"Why am I informed about this now?" Chiara said, hurt to be the last one to know about Ruben.

"Well for starters, you're never here." Sophia picked at somthing stuck between her teeth. "How could you possible know anything that's happening in our lives if you're never here?"

"Don't start Sophia." Chiara sighed. Her attention was brought back to Fiorella. "Tell me everything about him, where did you guys meet? Is he cute? Is he old?"

"He's older than me, yes. But only by a few years."

Fiorella had actually forgotten to ask Ruben his age. She even tried to do a background check on him, but she couldn't find anything googling the name Ruben Sanchez, adding 'hiking' as a reference. The hiking community must not be that big.

"I would love to meet him." Chiara said, cheerful as ever. "I know! You should invite him to the wedding, as your date."

"What?"

"What?

Fiorella and Sophia seemed to agree that Chiara's suggestion was a bad one.

"Why not?" She insisted.

"Well I don't really know him that well." Fiorella said. "We've only gone out once."

"Go out again. Make sure to ask him then."

"Chiara you're such a fool." Sophia said, rolling her eyes. "Fiorella is clearly not that into the guy, right sis?"

"Like I said..." Fiorella straightened her dress. "We've only gone out once."

********************************************

A day passed.

Fiorella still hadn't gone for a swim at the docks since her night with Ruben. In a way she was avoiding him. He did know where she lived though, so it wasn't like he made an effort to get in touch with her either. Perhaps Sophia was right, the best thing would be to forget about him entirely. What he wanted from her she didn't feel comfortable giving to him. It had just come as suprise, a surprise that Ruben wasn't who she thought he was.

"Acqua!" Fiorella's little brother exclaimed. The two of them eagerly made their way to their local beach in Sardinia.

Compared to the docks, the beach swarmed with tourists, however, the sun shone brightly overhead, casting a golden hue on the crystal-clear waters. It was the perfect day for an adventure, and Fiorella had been longing to swim again.

With her snorkel gear in hand, she led Dino to the water. She took it upon herself to teach him how to dive for clams. She taught him the basics of diving down and scouring the sandy ocean floor for the elusive clams. With each successful find, Dino's face lit up with joy and curiosity. Though they only managed to catch a few, Fiorella reveled in the moment, making memories with her brother that would last a lifetime.

As they made their way back to the shore, clam shells clutched in their hands, Fiorella's heart skipped a beat. There, standing near the edge of the beach, was Ruben. He wore shorts, no shirt. His hair and torso damped with sweat. He looked to have just returned from a hike up the mountains near the coastline. Ruben's eyes widen as he recognized Fiorella. Spotting her, he raised his hand, waving for her attention. 

"Fiorella."

He said her name with such longing, as if the two of them had gone a year without seeing each other.

"I've been wondering where you've been."

Impossible, she thought. She had been home, on the farm. Where else would she go? Her sister was getting married, Fiorella was pretty sure that she had shared that with Ruben. Either way, her cheeks flushed with a mix of surprise and pleasure. She hadn't expected to see Ruben again so soon.

"I've been taking my little brother Dino snorkeling for clams," she explained, gesturing towards Dino, who flashed Ruben a toothy grin.

Ruben looked impressed. "Snorkeling for clams? That sounds like quite the adventure!" He was leaning towards Dino when he said this. Dino who proudly showed off his catch of the day, two palourde clams, clutched in his tiny little hand.

"You caught those by yourself?" Ruben asked, brightly.

Dino eagerly nodded his heads.

"How impressive."

"Give him one." Fiorella said, nudging Dino towards Ruben.

With his hand out, Dino heaved up to his toes, trying to hand the giant that was Ruben his clams. Ruben met him halfway way, crotching down in the sand before him.

"Thank you." He smiled, accepting the clams from Dino.

Fiorella's head tilted as Ruben stood. He noticed the sun irritating her eyes and moved to block it with his body.

"Have you been busy, with your sisters wedding and all?" He asked.

So he was aware.

"Not that busy." She muttered.

Ruben's eyes search her face, perhaps not sure of what to make of the distance in her gaze.

"If you aren't too busy with the wedding...." Ruben scratched the back of his head. "I'd like to see you again, to maybe..." His eyes shifted to Dino then back to Fiorella. "...maybe talk things over?"

Fiorella nodded, she wanted to talk. She needed to talk. "I might be free tonight."

"Well...you know where to find me." He shrugged.

Fiorella nodded. Her and Dino then bid their farewell.

Returning home Fiorella had a decision to make and it was either gonna make things better or worse.

********************************************

"We'll be waiting for you right here Fiorella, don't worry."

"Will you shut up." Sophia hissed.

Fiorella had told her sisters about meeting up with Ruben again. She had also expressed some of her worries about him, mostly the fact that he was some what a stranger to her.

Chiara volunteered to accompany Fiorella to the docks, which seemed like a sensible move for a big sister. Sophia, however, had her own agendas for coming. She said it was mainly to see how ugly Ruben was.

"Just give us a call if somthing goes wrong." She said, holding Pluto in his leash.

The presence of the three of them calmed Fiorella's nerves as she made her way to the docks, towards Ruben's boat.

As she stepped onto the sleek white vessel, Ruben greeted her with a smile. "Fiorella, it's so good to see you," he said, his voice filled with exuberance. "I've missed you."

Fiorella nodded, forcing a half-hearted smile. She followed him onto the deck, taking in the panoramic view of the marina. The afternoon sun reflected off the tranquil waters, casting a warm glow on the surroundings. Fiorella's uneasiness began to subside as the memories of how she and Ruben first met returned to her. It gave her hope that maybe they could work thinks out, that that night was simply a misunderstanding.

Her hopes were shattered though, when Ruben released the boat from its stationary ties and steered it away from the docks. Panic surged through Fiorella as she realized they were leaving the safety of the harbor and venturing out into the vast expanse of the ocean. Her heart raced, and she stumbled backward.

"Ruben, what are you doing?" she cried out, her voice barely audible over the sound of the engine. "I thought we were going to talk things over, not go sailing."

Ruben turned to face her, an enigmatic smile playing on his lips. "Fiorella, trust me. We need this."

Fiorella's fear turned into anger. She had agreed to meet Ruben under the assumption that they would have a conversation, not get trapped on a boat with him alone. Her mind raced, searching for a way to assert her independence and regain control of the situation. She could scream, her sisters could hear her and alert the police. They were drifting away fast though. Too far away for her sisters or anyone else to hear her scream.

"I didn't agree to this, Ruben," she said firmly, her voice filled with determination. "You can't force me to be here. Take me back to the docks right now."

Ruben's smile wavered slightly, but he kept his hands on the wheel and continued steering the boat farther from the shore. "Fiorella, please. Just give me a chance. I believe we can still make things right."

Anxiety flooded Fiorella's mind as the boat sailed further into the endless blue waves. She searched her surroundings desperately, seeking any opportunity to escape and find safety. But miles away from land, there was no one to hear her cries, and no means of escape.

As the magnitude of her situation sunk in, Fiorella realized that running away from Ruben was no longer an option. She had to confront him, face her fears. With newfound determination, she looked Ruben in the eye and spoke with unwavering conviction. "Ruben, I can't change the past, and I can't predict the future," she said, her voice steady. "But I do know that I cannot be with someone who forces me into situations I'm uncomfortable with. If we are to have any chance at all, it must be based on trust, mutual respect, and open communication. Take me back to the docks, or I will find a way to get off this boat myself."

Ruben's expression softened, and he finally acknowledged the seriousness of Fiorella's words. He nodded reluctantly and steered the boat back toward the direction of the marina.

Fiorella felt a sense of relief wash over her. She knew that her confrontation with Ruben was a crucial turning point, and she had reclaimed a small part of herself that she thought she had lost.

As they approached the harbor, Ruben docked the boat just outside of the reef. Fiorella felt more relaxed knowing she was no longer trapped in the middle of the ocean. And now, if things went really south, she could always jump ship and swim back to shore.

"Ruben." Fiorella ran a hand down her face. "What happened that night, If that's the kind of stuff you're into...."

"It's not."

"You sure, because you seem pretty fucking into it."

"I know Fiorella, but I made a mistake. I'm really sorry."

"I'm not looking for an apology Ruben. I'm just here making myself clear. To me that can never happen again, not now, not ever."

"If I could take what happened back, I would. But the truth is...."

"What?"

"The truth is that...."

"What is it Ruben, just say it."

"Look." He sighed. "I've made some mistakes, alot of mistakes that I have been trying to do right ever since I got here. Then one day you showed up and I started forgetting about my mistakes, the fact that I've jeopardize alot of things in my life for not dealing with my own baggage.

Fiorella folded her arms, indicating that she was listening.

"Meeting you, I wouldn't say it was a mistake, but it was selfish of me to get you involved in my shit. We should have never gone on that hike and I should have never brought you home with me that night. It's a mistake I'll never be able to undo. But trust me when I say that I regret it more than anything, and that I'll understand if you never want anything to do with me again."

A minute of silence.

"I need some time...." Fiorella said.

"Of course, take all the time you need."

And with that he let her go.

As they docked the boat, Fiorella thanked Ruben for bringing her back. Without another word, she stepped onto the solid ground and returned to her sisters.

"Oh my god was that him? Where did he take you?"

They ambushed her with questions, questions that Fiorella didn't have the strength to answer right now.

"He was hot wasn't he? Look at the picture I took when he helped you onto his boat."

Fiorella's eyes couldn't focus on the screen Chiara flashed before her eyes. Her thoughts were elsewhere.

Ruben had alot of baggage, she thought. Things that he wasn't and perhaps would never tell her about. Fiorella asked if what they had for a brief moment was worth fighting for? Was it worth getting involved with someone whom she knew was keeping things from her? In her current state Fiorella felt that it probably wasn't worth it.

[newtonsheffield]

Anthony Bridgerton and Kate Sharma in take a deep breath and jump (then fall) by newtonsheffield (Moomin_94)

Anthony sighed as he sat on the curb outside his shop, just like always, his coffee in hand stretching his back out. He heard the engine before he saw it and lifted his head as the small van pulled to the curb. A woman got out from behind the wheel her curly hair bouncing as the skirt of her dress twirled around her a little and Anthony’s stomach dropped. Just the tiniest bit as her eyes fell on him.

Her brow furrowed as she stepped forward, her voice smooth, “Are you alright, sir?”

He looked behind him, half expecting to see someone behind him but there was no one there. He stood, smoothing back his hair and lifting his sunglasses, “Yeah, are you? No offence but girls like you are usually pretty fucking lost at a tattoo parlour.”

The woman who’d gotten out behind her laughed, leaning against the side of the van but the woman in front of him raised her eyebrow, her eyes travelling down to the hand he’d wiped against his leather pants and held out to her, “I’m not lost. We just leased the shop front next door.” She pointed at it, “We’re florists.”

She took his hand and he felt the swoop in his stomach again as their skin met, her smooth skin looking a little odd next to his, covered in ink. “I’m Anthony.”

“Kate.” She said, stepping back towards the shop front, “Don’t worry, I’ll stay out of your way. And I don’t think I need to worry about you getting lost my way. You don’t strike me as the sort of guy who buys a lot of flowers.”

He stared at her, as she walked away, watching the sway of her hips and the swish of her hair as the scent of her perfume hung in the air around him. She was exactly the sort of girl he usually stayed away from when he saw them in pubs. Girls who knew what they wanted, and weren’t willing to settle for anything less. But all he wanted, every time he saw her in the next month, was to throw her off her game. So when he saw it open one morning, his head still pounding a little, wearing yesterday’s outfit he went in, winking at her as he ordered flowers for the woman whose bed he’d just left. He watched with a little satisfaction as she disgustedly pushed his phone back towards him with her pen when he couldn’t remember the woman’s name and had to show her the contact, delicately cleaning the pen with a sanitising re she carried on.

“Do you think Miss BigTits will be very offended if I leave off her last name on the envelope?”

He could tell it offended her, that he didn’t care what the flowers were and he couldn’t remember the woman’s name that he’d spent the night with and part of him enjoyed the way it rankled her, the snide little remarks she tossed at him, so he kept going back. Every time a different woman. He Kept needling at her. Until it was all he thought about. Until he woke up thinking about her and went to bed thinking about her and all he wanted was to reach forward and tug her against his chest and let his teeth bite at her neck as their hips rocked together.

But fuck him, she’s the last person he wants to see sitting in the corner of the pub that night, a little tipsy already as she calls him over to her.

“Why are men so fucking awful?”

“I’m sorry?”

“The guy I went out with.” Kate sighed, gesturing for the bartender to pour Anthony a pint and two shots. “You need to catch up to me. The guy I’ve been talking to, or like one of them, we went out and he asked me if I’d be open to having a threesome.”

Anthony’s stomach lurched, “well, I guess maybe he-”

“With my sister.”

“Ooof.” Anthony said, downing his drink, “yeah That’s fucking bad.”

“I just- I want to meet someone, I want to fall in love! My parents are so in love and I want that and I don’t think I should feel bad for trying to get it.”

Anthony nodded, her wide eyes catching his until he had to look away from her, his chest tight. “You shouldn’t.”

“But I like sex too! Men are just such… fucking arseholes about it!”

And he knew he shouldn’t have said it, but he couldn’t help himself, with her leg brushing his and her fucking perfume hanging in the air and her hair brushing his chest. “Well, I’m not what you’re looking for but we can fuck if you like. Promise I won’t be an arsehole about it.”

And when he walks into her shop the next morning, with the marks from her fingernails burned into his back and the taste of her still on his tongue he knows what a mistake he’s made when she snaps at him the second he walked in

“No! You are not permitted to buy flowers here today!”

Because he still can’t stop thinking about her.

For @jeanvanjer

[thatbuddie]

omg can we talk about eddie dancing?? 😭😭 that's my silly little GOOF!!! i love him omg my baby

but also can we talk about bobby standing on top of the truck in the last shot of the trailer....that has to be the hottest thing i've ever seen!!! also it looks soooo good in general!!! real television is back!!!

the dancing scene.... hen serving, eddie being so silly, chimney being so adorable ksksksksks like please look at the chimney moves i beg you they're my favorite.

no pls i am not ready to talk about bobby on top of the firetruck... he's... ooof... i can't.... i would be banned from this website...

[quitealotofsodapop]

Song reaction was kinda interesting. Hm... Just a thought in Steven Universe was great to see how the Wukongverse thinks of it

OOOF

"Here Comes a Thought" is such a good song and scene that I ended up thinking about the different Wukongs put into that scenario of having to examine their personal flaws/demons in a mindscape. Ofc with their thoughts and memories manifesting as butterflies.

The one singing Garnet's parts is def LMK!Sandy (with the other Sha Wujings backing him up), with the chorus from the different Wukongs.

LMK: Gets really quiet. Like suspisciously so. The others go to shake him, only for a bottled storm of emotions and butterflies to pour from his body like a waterfall. Each one a moment where he lost his temper, a good friend, lost Macaque... He's lived a long life full of regrets. Soon only a recent memory of Macaque, smiling warmly at him, calms the storm.

HeroIsBack: Ignores the thoughts fluttering around him... until they start to swarm. He frantically tries to pluck them away, almost ripping into the swarm. A memory of Liuer appears; the moment where the sage yelled at the kid, and when Liuer cried and ran away. SWK weakly reaches to try and retrieve the vision, only for it to pass between his fingers. He only rises once more when he shows his tears, another memory of Liuer walking up to embrace him.

Reborn: Smashes the single thought-butterfly that manifests, only for it to bleed upwards into a fountain of many more. He's drowning in them. He reaches out a hand and grasps. The hand that pulls him from the storm turns out to be a memory of his fellow pilgrims. A tiny thought-butterfly lands in his palm, a familar tilt of the head making Reborn smile sadly. He brings it to touch his forehead.

Netflix: Looks around confused in his minescape. There's nothing there. No one is there. Except for a butterfly/thought that refuses to let him examine it, always flying out of reach. He jumps and yells for it, but gets no where. As the song progresses, Netflix finally pauses and breathes deepily. Holding out his hand, the thought finally landing and showing the memory of his last meeting with Lin. He smiles and lets the thought linger before it flies away.

NewGods: Flicks a thought-butterfly away like a cigarette. It returns, but does't grow any larger. He sighs and lets it sit on his shoulder peacefully. He turns and his back is covered in tiny thoughts just chilling. He shrugs and the smaller ones dissolve. He's ok to let them rest.

2000sCartoon: He laughes. His thoughts are a single flurry of butterflies that fly past him like migrating monarchs. He waves them goodbye and goes to tend to the SWKs not doing so well. A memory lingers on his head like a halo.

Meihouwang: Almost shot-for-short Ruby and Sapphire, just replaced with Shihou and a memory of Mihou. The smaller monkey gets so worked up by one large thought that he nearly forgets that his Mihou has greater issues. He collides with the memory of Mihou at the end, hugging it tightly.

Smash!: "Oh no! Don't you go pulling a Steven Universe on me! I'm leaving!" *gets swarmed by thought-butterflies* "Darn it." Is very self-aware of the situation being played out. Keeps ignoring his thoughts, even as they begin to multiply and pelt him like stones. He soon snaps and screams at them, only to turn and see a memory of him snapping at his friends in anger. He goes quiet. A memory of Goldie appears and lays her head on his shoulders comfortingly.

As for the song itself, I feel like most of the SWKs be like "Cute song." but not think much of it. Except Meihouwang!Shihou who starts singing it to himself and Mihou. Shihou gets worried when the white-furred monkey starts weeping, telling him it's a beautiful message. Netflix!SWK seems quiet, but closer inspection would reveal cathartic tears.

[tennessoui]

hi kit! long time no see lol jk I spend so much time on your blog and ko-fi its not even funny (in a nice non-stalkerish way I promise) I subscribed to your kofi and was wondering if you planned on continuing any of those AUs or were they meant to be sorta one shots? because I *literally* cannot stop thinking about healer anakin going about this day with that brightest blue silk blindfold?? oh all the potential for pining and hurt/comfort and ALL THE ANGST here?? ooof pls I need more - 🦊

hiii kit it's 🦊 again I am back because I just had an epiphany about the healer anakin AU I am obsessed with currently. so is the blindfold like a hijab where your close family (so other healer peers in private I suppose?) and your significant other is able to see you with the blindfold off? I started thinking that keeping it on 24/7 is probably not ideal and there has to be some time that it comes off, and who gets to see you then.. I am south asian so I kinda dig this tbh! 😊 (2/2)

hello hello this is such an interesting ask!! for the first part, i'm really not sure - i think there are fics on ko-fi that i would love to expand and write more for (the healer anakin au being one of them) but at the same time, i think while i am running the ko-fi fic thing, then those stories need to exist only on there - or i need to talk to everyone who supports me monthly on there and see if they would be ok with me posting those stories somewhere else (like on ao3 or tumblr) and expanding on them more. as of right now, they're really just one shots that act a bit like slices of life in the au - just enough information that the characterizations are apparent and just enough setting and premise that it feels like a story but overall stand alone

but yes i too am sorta obsessed with the idea of healer skywalker showing up to healer functions with a bright blue silk bandana over his eyes while everyone else has the standard issue gray or white cloth. of course they wouldn't know, but just imagine like. mace windu attends to give a debrief of the next few battle plans and anakin is just...sticking out like a sore thumb lol

as for the second part, in my mind i'm sort of waving the logistics of keeping the blindfold on for long stretches of time because im leaning more into the fantasy side of star wars tbh - i think it's more angsty as a concept if healers sort of...give their eyes away forever/until they retire and never open them. they change the bandages and shower without them on, but the force is supposed to act as their eyes for menial daily tasks like telling apart shampoo from conditioner and cooking (and they just get used to it)

like that feels so much more angsty because obi-wan will never ever get to see anakin's eyes again and he has to just. make his peace with that which he's obviously struggling to do in the ficlet on ko-fi. he has to figure out how to love anakin as he is, with his vows, or he won't get him at all and obi-wan wrestling with that is a key part of the ficlet. im not sure how strongly that angst would hit if they could reach a certain point of closeness and then he could get anakin the way he had him when they were in the creche, sight and all you know? he needs to accept who anakin is to really have a chance at loving him without getting some other version of him back

but that being said i also do dig the idea of the blindfolds being taken off in the company of one's family or loved ones and am open to it--it explains a lot of logistical questions for sure lol

i just also really like the angst and acceptance that comes from the idea that obi-wan must become ok with never seeing anakin's eyes again....only for anakin, who loves him so much, to break his vows because obi-wan is dying and needs him or obi-wan is dying and asks to see his eyes one last time (only for obi-wan to categorically survive)

[cyborg-franky]

For @bulle-blackhole thank you for your support <3 I hope you enjoy!

Penguin x GN Reader x Shachi SFW Modern AU WC: 1,024

You’d been low energy for weeks now, not wanting to go out or do anything, just wanting to be wrapped up in the comfort of your own home. Wanting nothing more just to exist away from the world and the anxieties that came with it.

But you missed your boyfriends, missed getting to spend time with them. Thankfully they understood why you didn’t want to venture out into the world. That was why Penguin had suggested a date night, a stay-at-home date night. You’d been elated at the idea and had been excited about it the last few days.

Cleaning as best as you could manage, making sure fresh sheets graced your bed, knowing within hours they’d be ripped off and turned into a fort. You were curled up on your couch when the door rang, you lept up, your phone almost falling out of your grasp from the excitement and sudden movement.

You opened the door to see Penguin and Shachi, both grinning ear to ear, backpacks on and huge bags of shopping in their arms. You opened the door and let them in, smiling when each dipped down and kissed your forehead.

“Heeey!” Shachi said, “Hello, how are you today?” Penguin asked as he and Shachi headed for the kitchen. Opening up the fridge and freezer to put various things away. Soda, juice, fruit, ice cream. A little of everything.

“I’m better for seeing you both,” You replied and saw Shachi almost drop the bottle of soda, a light pink blush across his cheeks. Penguin rolled his eyes as he helped Shachi finish unpacking everything.

“So what did you wanna do today?” You asked as Shachi walked past you, pulling you into a hug, Penguin not far behind to cuddle you also. A big group hug that you melted into, feeling safe and loved. “Well, your the one that hasn’t been feeling good right?” Penguin replied and you thought about what you wanted to do.

“Does video games sound okay?”

–

Taking over the couch, curtains were drawn so the room was in darkness save for the lamps dotted around the room and the large screen you were all playing video games on. Shachi was sat on the floor cross-legged, controller clutched in his hands as he turned with it, thinking it would help the cart on the screen go in that direction, but it didn’t. And he fell off the road once more much to Penguins' delight as he let out a ‘HA’

You didn’t have much of a competitive streak, just enjoyed playing the assortment of silly party games with them both. Penguin and Shachi always had beef when against one another in a game. You were happy to watch them play beat 'em ups together as they shot fighting words back and forth.

All in jest. They were just both the sort of people who needed to win all the time. You leaned forward and ran your hand through messy ginger locks, feeling how soft Shachi’s hair was, he leaned back intot he touches with a sigh as Penguin loaded up another party game.

“Having fun?” Penguin asked, a hand on your knee, giving you a comforting squeeze. You nodded.

They made you so happy, you loved them and how they understood what you needed and you needed this, needed them.

A few hours passed, and Penguin had cooked a meal for the three of you, you and your boyfriends all sat around the table with full bellies, sighing. “Movie night?” Shachi asked as he looked over at you both. “What movie?” You asked, hoping Shachi wasn’t going to suggest one of his awful gorefests.

“We can take it in turns to pick?” He shrugged his shoulders and Penguin hummed in thought. “Yeah sounds nice, we can move to the bedroom? Take some snacks and soda up, get comfy on the bed…”

“Yeah I like that idea,” You said and let Shachi pull you up from the couch. 

Armed with snacks you all climbed the stairs to your room. Shachi set down things on the bed before he flopped down on the soft sheets and let out a sigh before Penguin let himself fall back, purposely hitting Shachi who let out an ooof. Both wriggled and made a space for you in the middle which you took. Feeling arms around you, the three of you cuddled on the bed.

Some time passed before you opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling, feeling Shachi to the right nuzzling his nose into your hair and Penguin on the left holding your hand in his. “Alright then, whose movie first?” You asked turning to face each in turn.

“You, you can pick! I’m comfy.” Shachi mumbled and cuddled your arm as you tried to move it to grab the remote, You couldn’t get your hand free of Penguins either. You guessed you could wait a little longer..

Eventually, they allowed you to move, getting the remote and picking your movie. You propped the pillows against the headboard, making a comfy place to lean. Shachi opened a big bag of salty popcorn and threw a bag of caramel popcorn to Penguin. You sat with your own popcorn and pressed play.

The three of you watched each movie, making comments here and there, completely cuddled up and comfy. The snacks got eaten, popcorn, candy, and even some fruit had been snuck into the snack rotation as you went from movie to movie.

Shachi had put on another, neither you nor Penguin had the energy to make a choice once the third movie had finished. It was just background noise anyway as you all got cuddled up on the bed, now in your PJs. All animal themed you noticed.

“What do you guys wanna do tomorrow?” You asked as you felt sleep pulling at you. “Well, the zoo has baby penguins, I thought we could go check that out… and it’s a weekday, shouldn’t be too loud…” Shachi said before yawning.

“Only if you feel up to it though.”

“Sounds good.” You replied although your voice was mumbly as you fell asleep cuddled between them.

[rob-in-suburbia]

1123

Ooof, I always love seeing you. So hard in all of them, spoiling me with so many. Love the body shot 🥵...and the last one the vein is really popping you're so hard.

[disappearinginq]

5, 13, and 50 for AO3 Wrapped Ask?

I PROMISE I MEANT TO DO THIS LIKE A WEEK AGO I"M SORRY

5. Your most read fandom this year?

This is a wild, wild game - you don't understand. I have 99 tabs open to AO3 on my phone, and that is not an exaggeration. And those fandoms range from Magnificant Seven (TV series), Slow Horses, Ted Lasso, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek (AOS), Outer Banks....possibly Slow Horses might win by the amount of DIFFERENT works because most of them are one shots and I think I read one author's entire whumptober series in an afternoon....

13. Personal favorite fanfic that I read this year

Ok, this is just going to have to be a multiway tie - A Series of Narrow Escapes (Slow Horses) by @altschmerzes; Bridges (Slow Horses) by juicewiththebits; Not the Plan (Outer Banks - bless her for fixing redoing canon) by @fayedartmouth; and Houndsight (Hudson & Rex) by @itsjustdg; Repeat a Decision by Teeelsie

50. Favorite comment I left or received this year

Ooof. Having not updated diddly squat in months - perhaps all this year? I refuse to check now...I don't have that many to choose from, so pretty much any of them. I DID start making an effort to review the ones I liked though, so there's that. But probably the one I like the most is this one from Crash:

"Love this fic so much!! It's one of my most common re-reads for sure, just the right balance of hurt/comfort, badass-ery, angst, friendship etc. Length is perfect for "finish before bed but don't fall asleep halfway through" for me lol. I love all the characterisation so much, especially the dynamics between the characters. Your pacing is perfect, with the perfect mix of internal thought, action, and dialogue, and everything is so naturally and vividly described too, in a way that makes sense for the characters? Like you describe what katsumoto would have noticed and how he would have thought about it to himself. Thank you for writing and sharing it with us!!! Please take this comment as about 30 kudos by now, with at least 30 re-reads on the way xx" - mostly because of the last sentence, that just like made my whole month when I got it. I love return readers! <3 And honestly, that's more of how I wind up leaving reviews because I have to actually set reminders for myself to do it. Also, because Crash is one of my favorites too - I think I wrote it when I was supposed to be doing homework in like an afternoon?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway...sorry for the delay, and thank you for the asks!

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Laws of Attraction ep 3

I might redefine my colour theory as I go...and just from the first minute I'm wondering if the red is actually Charn's connection to his mother and therefore revenge (rather than the law)...(also, something something the blue flowers covering the red of his mother's shirt).

And flashback to happier times (hence the yellow shirt, I guess) with Charn's mother in pink again and wearing the ring on her necklace.

So Charn fought government officials (above the Mayor) to help the people keep their land but the powerful didn’t take kindly to his actions so killed his mother as a backlash?... I don't think we've got the full story here but this could be why Charn doesn't care much for the rich and powerful (despite him saying he likes money and power - but that's probably only because he needs both to get revenge).

"Unnamed body" is that the bodyguard that Charn and Tin fought last ep?

(Sorry, I just need a moment to get over how beautiful Ploy's mother is... 😮)

There's so much red and green...this has to mean something. Maybe the green is for Tonkhao and the red is Charn and Tin's revenge...but that means I'm less certain about Charn and Tin themselves (unless they're lapis lads - both loyal blue boys - hmmmm 🤔).

We've found the toy! And it looks like it's going to disappear with Ploy!

Rose telling Charn he cares about Tin and his world whilst flanked by so. much. red and green (on the wall and the cushions). (also Organ is amazing. It's so good seeing her play a different character to Tanya).

Please! I adore all these *pikachu face* don't call me uncle! I'm phi to you conversations we get in qls. 😂

The toy dog recorded an incriminating conversation maybe?

Charn's face when he realises Tin is comparing him to the kids! And then Tin calling Charn luung! Love it!

And the blue is finally back! On both of them! (*chanting* lapis lads lapis lads lapis lads *fingers crossed for @respectthepetty*) and Charn tells Tin to take his blue denim jacket off to pretend to be something he's not to garner support from the public. Delicious if this is correct!

The red line of revenge joining them at their shoulders in the background.

Evil babygirl activated! I love Charn's face here.

"I don't know who taught him that" - comedian of the year award goes to Thatthep.

Oooo the green (of Tonkhao and what she represents to them) looming behind both Thatthep and Tanthai.

The 'anger management room' is fantastic. So, so deliberate to first smash the green vase whilst wearing a red jumpsuit (since everything else he smashed were big appliances) and then the tv afterwards (symbolic of the truth eventually being revealed to the public?).

I mean...I feel for Tanthai but he brought it all on himself (under the huge influence of his father but still...). I really want to know what that toy will reveal.

I wonder if Thee will be on Tanthai's side or do as Thatthep says...

I love how it goes from all serious 'we're being threatened' dramatic music to romantic music and 'you can talk to me about your troubles if you want'.

Ooof. That is not a healthy father-son relationship. I know they want us to feel sympathy for Tanthai, and even see a romantic connection between Thee and Tanthai, but I just can't until I know what Tanthai did.

I think Tin suspects Charn of starting the fire himself. Aaaaand yes he does.

SILVY! (in loyal blue. Loyal to Charn?)

So I'm leaning more towards Tin (and maybe Charn as well) being blue... Charn walks Tin backwards away from the blue window whilst telling him he can't be his righteous self, he has to go against his true nature to get ahead of their enemies.

It's interesting though that Thatthep and Tanthai also wear a lot of blue. More to ponder on for later eps...

Oh and the clenched-fist-shot-my-beloathed. I haven't seen it for a while. And I'd rather not ever again.

[cailynwrites]

Harry Potter Rec Fest Day 2 - A comfort fic

This @hprecfest prompt was difficult for me because HP fanfic is all comfort fics for me. No matter how angsty, how dead dove, it's all comfort food. So I interpreted this prompt as fics that I go back to again and again.

EVERYTHING by GallaPlacidia Pairing: Draco x Harry

GallaPlacidia has such a way of writing, particularly for Draco's voice. She also has an economy of prose that makes just about every line elicit either a laugh or an emotional "ooof". She took down all her work when she published a beautiful book last year, but it's still available if you search around (I know there's a reddit post dedicated to it). I recommend starting with either "Dad Says" or "The Bucket List" but don't stop until you've devoured them all.

BONUS: She also recorded many of them for a podcast. Her versions have also been taken down, but she has said she has no objection to them being shared around and they're easy to find with a little googling. She's so good at narrating them that I was seriously bummed that she didn't record her novel as well. I definitely think her recordings heavily influenced my Draco voice.

Remain Nameless written by @heyjude19-writing and podficced by @beatificbean and @etl-echo-audiobooks Pairing: Draco x Hermione Word count: 312,286 Length: over 24 hours Rating: E

Two HeyJude recs in two days. Sorry not sorry! I don't know if Jude considers this a magnum opus, but it's massive and has incredible character study and development and really languishes in the enemies to lovers pipeline (in a good way!). It's angsty but not too angsty, which is why it qualifies as comfort for me. It's also translated into about 6 different languages, so if you're learning Italian on Duolingo, challenge yourself with a novel length Dramione.

The audiobook version narrated by @beatificbean is *chef's kiss*. It's also available to listen to on Spotify! It was my intro to the ETL-Echo universe and she is so good at Hermione and especially at reading really hot smut. If you've got a long road trip coming up, this is the perfect accompaniment. She has also recorded some outtakes and one-shots in the same universe: "Ceremonials" (AO3, Spotify).

************************************************************************

And finally, my two little self-recs ...

wasps and honey by @swoontodeath - a Podfic Pairing: Narcissa x Hermione Word count: 10,305 Length: 1:12:12 Rating: M

This was the first Cissmione I ever read. I recorded it for @hp-bodiceripper but it's got a great cottagecore vibe too. @swoontodeath's Narcissa is so lovely and complex and her internal monologue as she gets to know Hermione is wonderful. Also available on Spotify on the @etl-echo-audiobooks one-shot feed.

Sesame Seeds and the Entire Spectrum of Human Emotion by @ronbinary- a Podfic Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 9528 Length: 1:03:07 Rating: M

This was also recorded for a fest. @lcdrarry is so much fun; it's really fascinating to see the way the authors fit HP characters into other movie plots. @ronbinary wrote an adorable take on "The Proposal" for @lcdrarry 2021 and I recorded it for the 2023 fest. This perfect little romcom features fake dating, sharing a bed, adorable Molly Weasley meddling, and a lot of time on a boat. Also available on Spotify on the @etl-echo-audiobooks one-shot feed.

[the-sweet-hibiscus]

2023 fic round up

borrowed this idea from several people but specifically @liminal-zone @softlighter @conundrumoftime & @thecoziestbean

Fanworks

posted

Baby, I'm Jealous (LOTR | Haladriel | step-cest | Rated E)

Eyes to Welcome You Home (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | Age-gap | Rated E)

It's a vicious cycle, baby (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | step-cest | Rated E)

Belonephobia (Marvel / Spiderman | Migwen | non-con/kidnapping | Rated E)

je te vuex (discontinued) (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | Best Friend's Brother | Rated E)

Mountain Glory (Call of Duty | Simon "Ghost" Riley/OFC | One Bed Trope | Rated E)

wips

• Lost In Translation (LOTR | Haladriel | the all too well AU)

• Take Me (In the Midnight Hour) (LOTR | Haladriel ) In an attempt to find herself, Galadriel ends up in the tangled web of lies orchestrated by the man she thought didn't exist.

• Lose Control (coming back to AO3 in 2024) (LOTR | Haladriel | Dystopian ABO) Galadriel starts to question the legitimacy of the City after witnessing the harsh treatments of Alphas that come to her door. With the mounting coldness and hostility coming from her family and her government, Galadriel must choose between acceptance or trusting Halbrand and the alphas in the Lower City.

• Untitled (Marvel / Spiderman | Migwen) Detectives Miguel O'Hara and Gwen Stacy must work together to solve a series of murders while denying their own pasts with each other.

• The Office (Marvel / Spiderman | Hobbie x Margo)

• Crimson Clover (LOTR | Haladriel)

Total number of completed works/fandoms written in: 6 Complete Works (5 technically), nearly 57K words combined; 3 Shadow & Bone, 1 Marvel / Spiderman, 1 LOTR, and 1 Call of Duty

OVERALL THOUGHTS: I'm slow but I still like (most of) what I published. Also clearly not built for non-explicit writing.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED: Eyes to Welcome You Home might be my favorite of the year. It was written during one of the worst trips of my life to bury my aunt, and I think that it helped at least keep me distracted enough from grief to help my family where needed. My favorite part was the hopeful ending.

MOST POPULAR: It's a vicious cycle, baby with 246 Kudos. This was part of the Darklina Spring Fling and probably the last time I was my most active in the darklina fandom. I was a silly goober for posting early and not understanding how to post to the collection. In my defense, I am just a baby.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT: OOOF this is hard. But! I have to give it to Mountain Glory, when OFC watches Gaz jerking Soap while Ghost fucks her? It's called team bonding.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE: Another win for Mountain Glory. Probably my least second (eighth) guessed story? And probably the quickest one, where the words came easily and I didn't spend two months debating if it made sense.

HARDEST: A tie between Eyes to Welcome You Home and Belonephobia because they both came during a heavy time in my life. Like many 2023 was filled with loss but for as hard as they were to write I'm glad I did.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: This is so hard! But I think the reception to Belonephobia! I was so critical of it, especially with using a beta reader for the first time in a long time so when people seemed to enjoy it I was floored.

DID YOU TAKE ANY RISKS IN WRITING THIS YEAR? I think branching further in to actually doing multi-chapters? I stuck to posting longer one shots but towards the end of the year I really started planning and writing my first long multi-chapter fics.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY: Lose Control (recently hidden, sorry) has a lot of direct correlation to how I feel about living in America this year. Take Me more closely resembles my relationship with alcohol so there's that lol.

FAVORITE LINES/SCENES: Ooo okay okay okay. I'm going to have to cheat and pull from Lose Control. It's the scene where Galadriel first sees Halbrand, and I just really like how it came out.

But the young collector looks up, for just a second. My heart beats loudly in my chest, filling my ears with the sound of rushing water as our gazes connect. It could not have lasted more than two seconds, but it felt like an eternity. There is something that comes, unbidden, from the recesses of my mind. Alpha.

The word pushes through as if breaking through a dense fog. I nearly scream, frightened by the uncontrolled thought that threatened to seep out of the confines of my mouth. The Zevalise should've prevented it. The Zevalise was supposed to be stronger than our urges. Stronger than the genome. The young collector's eyes bulged minutely – as if he could hear the dangerous thought take shape inside me. He turns abruptly, and his partner takes the case.

They leave, and my mother turns to fuss at me again. She's speaking again, but it doesn't register.

I am frozen. Deaf to the world as I tried to piece together what just happened. I tried, in vain, to understand the thudding in my chest, the rapid decentralization of all my senses from just the connected sight of an alpha. My mouth dries out, and I gaze blankly into my mother's eyes as she makes her final adjustment. I hope she doesn't see right through me.

I wish for no one to see me at all.

MY FAVE PART OF FANDOM IN 2023: Meeting some of my favorite people via the Haladriel & Darklina fandom! Some of the most accepting people I know and I love them dearly for being there during some of the craziest moments. A lot of times it felt like I was going insane with other people in the fandom spreading lies & contextless biases. But it was nice to have people who could objectively come together and acknowledge that "no, I see it to. You're not alone in this."

2024 WRITING AMBITIONS: I'm going to attempt to 1) Write every weekday and plot/edit on weekends, 2) post a completed multi-chapter (more than 5) work, and 3) write at least 100K this year. But most importantly, I would like to actually take more time in editing/writing, and just generally improving.

2024 FICS ON THE IMMEDIATE HORIZON: I don't plan to post in January, however, my next one-shot is likely the Brother's Best Friend Call of Duty AU with Ghost x OFC.

[newtonsheffield]

Late Show Kate is way out of his league, or so Anthony thinks. And now that he's bungled things so thoroughly, how does Anthony convince himself to go for the second shot after learning their 'hangout' was supposed to actually be a date? Or does Kate initiate this time?

Ob it's definitely Anthony's job to initiate this time. Kate kind of gently put herself out there last time and sure, she joked about it on TV to tease him but he realised that the reason they stopped hanging out with their siblings and the reason he hasn't seen her since is because he actually caused very real embarrassment for her.

So when he runs into her at a press event two weeks later, finding her standing at the bar looking unfairly beautiful and he balls up all his courage and sidles up to her.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Kate raised her eyebrow in a slightly withering look, "At an open bar? I think I'm right."

"Can I... order your drink for you then?"

She looked at him a little bemused and nodded, "Mine's a gin and tonic."

He waited for the bartender to slide it across the table to her his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to pluck up the courage to say something to her and she just sighed, "This has been a blast Anthony, as always."

He nearly groaned as she shot him a sarcastic thumbs up and panic welled in his chest as she turned away, "I had an enormous crush on you!"

She spun back around, something a little bemused in her eyes as she shook her head, "ooof. We really don't need to do this, and you really don't need to lie about this. I'm not your type and that's totally fine: it was one awkward night, let's not make it two."

"No, No! I Did! I had a huge crush on you but you're fucking stunning, and you're funny and you were this like up and coming star and I thought There's no way she likes me so I played scrabble with you because I thought you wanted to be my friend."

She gaped at him, "And scrabble is your... friend move?"

"i just-" His cheeks were burning, "I panicked. But I don't know, I saw you again the other week, and I feel like there's... some sort of spark here and I know I fucking ballsed up the last shot you gave me but is there... any chance you think I'm as cute as I was when I was 27?"

Her eyes flicked down his body for a long moment before she sighed, "Sorry, don't think my husband would like that."

He balked, reeling backwards, "I- fuck I had no idea. I-"

"Anthony, I'm fucking with you." Kate chuckled, "You get one more shot. If the scrabble board comes out: we're done."

"No scrabble." Anthony agreed, "Definitely no scrabble."

And when he shows up on Friday afternoon, in his best suit, a little confused about the time she'd asked him to meet but desperate to show he was making an effort, he's mortified to find Kate in a pair of running tights and a sweater, a little smirk on her face as he gapes at her.

"Oh sorry. I thought we were hanging out as friends." She quipped. "I was going to take you to walk my dog."

"I...wanted... I thought this was a date." Anthony fumbled.

Kate clicked her tongue, "Fucking with you. We really are walking my dog first though, you owe me a little I think."

"I'm okay with that."