#the last picture makes me so sad
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I haven’t posted art in forever, (I am currently working on art tho!! It’s just taking me a bit cuz.. job..) but! But… what about if instead of the art u guys came here for. I instead posted pictures of the cool lil outfits I’ve been wearing recently that im rlly proud of… what about that???
#part of the issue w art is also for some reason. FOR REAL. the default shit I want to draw is just ME. IN MY VARIOUS CUTE LIL OUTFITS#I’ve become a narcissist… a fashion obsessed narcissist.. i just want everyone to see and admire my cool fits…#I struggle. so much more drawing shit that is not me nowadays. and I have so much less free time#but then I don’t FINISH the pics of me cuz I’m like ‘this is too self indulgent!!! stop!! draw fanart!!#like a normal person!!! ghgh-‘#ur rlly gonna come back from an art hiatus w just a bunch of silly pics of u being cute… get a fucking grip..#uhhh.. but anyway lol#I am still drawing. I’m currently working on some expiremental lineless digital art#cuz I felt shaking stuff up might help#we shall see if I finish it tho!#it me#pepper words#anyway look at my fits#my one. 2 curses r in bad at taking pictures#and I live in a dingy basement so the lighting fucking SUCKS#u cannot see all the detail…. u cannot make out All of my lil accessories#it’s sad…#all these outfits r very black and white i do in fact wear colors… mostly red. n green#but I am rlly In my aristocratic vampire / witch era right now… and I’m loving it…#middle 2 pics r the same outfit. just w and without cloak lol#also pls do me a kindness and ignore my messy ass room#lady outfit is actually my most recent and my room HAS gotten less messy! I cleaned it up!#but it’s still kinda. got some clutter lol#*last outfit. not lady outfit ghghg- these r gender neutral femme leaning outfits I’ll have u kno typo!!#also pls ignore the shit on my mirror!! the lil white speckles and stuff! I rlly gotta fucking clean that.. if I wanna keep taking cute#pictures of my outfits lol… I mean. it’s not MY mirror so I don’t think to clean it.. but it is in my living space…#mayhaps… I should clean it lol
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#i never really thought about a person being a finite thing. you can see the effects of a person after they die. in the unfinished projects.#in the rooms of clutter. in abandoned closets. in pictures and in mermered phrases. and you can see time#chipping away at those things. eroding away the evidance that a person existed. clothes move into other people's closets. projects are boxed#away. and a person becomes confined to photos and memories. and thats existentially terrifying but its not a bad thing. time erodes away all#things. that's how life works. matter and energy transforms.#we arent made to last forever. i dunno. i guess im still just rattled from being home even tho ive been back a week and a half.#and my brain tends to fixate on the wrong things. nearly 27 years of knowing someone eclipsed by a visual sequence lasting less than a day.#bc i just cant get over how scary it would be to die like that. to start losing control of your body. to not be able to feed yourself or get#to the bathroom. to have your mind be overcome by the toxins building up in your mangled and broken body.#and it could have been worse. it could have been a lot worse. but its still not fair. theres no good way to die. i dunno. i guess i just#miss my mom in some abstract way but i find it more viscerally upsetting to think about the people that have to deal with her absence.#it makes me sad that my dad is alone now. i dunno. grief doesnt feel like i thought it would. most of the time i dont even know what im#crying about. its undirected. it doesnt feel like: i miss you. it feels like: youre gone. how can you be gone? why does everything feel the#same? and its not that it doesnt make sense. its that nothings changed. the terror of that.#and im walking around in an acumulation of my dead mother's clothes. and no one knows. theyll never know.#and there's nothing to be done about it. so it goes.#i guess im just sad. and its hard to breathe at the thought of returning to school at the end of August.#unrelated
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I seriously cannot believe I didn't have tumblr at the time i made these
honorable mention:
#I think I got tumblr sometime after one of these but just never posted it#anyway enjoy#contradiction spot the liar#at dead of night#jimmy hall#adon#simon thompson#simon thompson they could never make me hate you#sorry about the quality#these were all from my old tablet so I had to take a picture of them through my phone because it was on its last life#its sad becuz I had so many other adon drawings on there that I didn't have the time to save
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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When she was a little Kiko, Lulu loved to put on ribbons and appear before the world to show her precious Slorg! Sadly her owner was such a recluse that nobody noticed much, and over the years she forgot performing for others...
Until recently she found all the ribbons she saved over the years and wanted to have fun again!
(She didn't know which ribbon to wear, so she is wearing them all!)
(Lulu won a trophy!!! She is absolutely delighted and is using it to store her ribbons!)
#neopets#neoart#kiko#slorg#lulu#aquanutart#sorry to repost this! i really wanted to tell the story but i was kind of nervous to mention the bc (this is NOT in any current contest!)#so this is a little picture i made last year now that she is pink!#when i was 11-ish i used to enter her in the beauty contest with tiny pixel scribbles#in some of them she was pink and wearing a hairbow (although there were no wearables back then)#the filesize limit back then was something like 19kb so i shrank them down to like 150x150px#(i didn't know any other way to reduce the filesize) i was too young to use the boards and didn't do any advertising at all#i would check back excitedly every week and be disappointed to not get a trophy but then make a very similar scribble and enter again#finally one time she won a third place trophy because i think only three kikos were entered that week#i felt complete after that#it was always her dream to be pink and show people her slorg#so last year after all this time i entered again because i realized it gives me motivation to draw my own pets#that i otherwise don't really draw and i felt kind of sad people don't really know them#i don't like competition so i decided i was just going to treat it as a chill social event and not bother trying to win#just treat it as the way of posting or sharing content on the site itself#it was fun and social! as someone who's pretty reclusive it was fun feeling like i was getting to know other pets#everyone was super nice and the supportive community feeling between artists was really fun! love getting excited about each other's work!!#since then i've entered a few more times and i have mixed feelings about it because i get absolutely exhausted from it#because unfortunately the competition aspect does take hold of me even when i don't want it to rofl. i feel like i have to try my hardest#if it were just an art competition i probably wouldn't enter but because it's mostly a social competition i spend hours on the chat#it's a massive burst of socialization for a week and then afterwards i disappear and don't reply to messages for. months rofl#it's fun to do once in a while but i can't handle it too often. but i am happy to end up with more pictures of my pets#she has a few trophies now and can put a ribbon in each one!
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This is just an appreciation post for Once In A While, and ONLY the original version by Barry Bostwick. Why are productions always speeding it up and adding dramatic-ass key changes, acting like it’s boring?? Like why do you hate gay people? let my man Brad sing his sad long little ballad!!!!
Let him have this!!!!!!!!
youtube
#I’m so serious abt this#I had a dream last night I was passionately explaining this to my family 💀#I went from listening to it and going ‘oh. forgettable lol’#(wrong)#to the BIGGEST once in a while apologist there is#like#THATS ALL THE TIIIIIME THAT IT TAAAAAAAKES#FOR A HEART TO. BEAT AGAAAAIIIINNNN#SO GIVE ME A SIGN!!!!!!!!! THAT A LOVER MAAAAAAAAAAAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like this is everything#this is music#AND EVERYDAY I THINK#WHY WOULD THEY HAVE HIM SAY ‘SHE WONT WANNA KNOW YOU’#**SHE WONT WANNA KNOW YOU??????***#THATS SO FUCKING SAD. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FEEL SYMPATHY FOR BRAD ‘ASSHOLE’ MAJORS???#once in a while#bbge.text#rocky horror picture show#brad majors#rhps#it’s like you guys don’t even care that like he heard something abt someone he thought he’d known#I’m insane#Youtube#if once in a while has 100 fans I am one of them. if once in a while has no fans I am dead etc etc
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im ngl i think my favorite headspace to be in is "want to be annoying"
#i am also really low energy today so i cant really do my normal expressions of it#(spam messaging Everyone i want to talk to at any given moments notice; sending random pictures/asks/etc to ppl)#but i also like. love being annoying. idc how others feel about it. there's something so wonderful to me about being such a nuisance to ppl#u like that they roll their eyes when you post your random thoughts AGAIN#there's something so lovely about pushing peoples buttons (within reason)#there's something just so fun about being ANNOYING!!!!!#ugh#i think it may genuinely be impossible for anyone to make me hate myself with mean words now#i think about it a lot and ppl can be really mean and it'd make me sad ofc if people were mean to me#butalso like#every person who is mean to me for silly reasons or bc they wanna take me in bad faith; every hateful thing thats been said to me - its all#jokes. my screen name on discord in a couple different servers is nicknames over stuff thats ACTUALLY been said to me#i think weirdly fondly of the man who yelled out to me on my birthday last year “fat bitch” fromhis car not bc he's a good man (fuck him)#but bc yeah that hurt my feelings alittlein the moment - and then after i was like wait why? i AM a fat bitch! its one of my favorite thing#and every time soemone hates something abt me i just kinda learn to love it out of spite#anyway all of this is 2 sy: mutuals if u read this im holdin my finger 2cm frm your cheek going “IM NOT TOUCHING U” & giggling abt it c:
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this is oddly specific but the one thing I can’t stand is making an oc and thinking that they’d have no friends— I’ll be creating the most backstabbing, mean little gremlin who like, punts children, but I have to give them at least SOMEONE who cares about them/they’re friends with. It just makes me feel so depressed if I don’t
#some of my OCs are genuinely NOT good people but I need SOMEONE to care for them#something something being worthy of love even if you’re unlovable something something#mostly because I get so sad. picturing them on the Naruto swing while that stupid flute plays#me: ok I know they’re like a cult leader but what do you mean nobody makes them chicken soup when they’re sick :(#what do you mean the religious figure with no regard for human life doesn’t have at least ONE person they care about :(#what do you mean my violent and not really a good person daughter has made no friends in the last 14 years :(#chia’s ocs
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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love for humanity moodboard!
#i stayed up until three am last night to find all of these so im posting no matter how silly#it does bring me joy#actually staying up until three was because i was looking for a particular 'italian man shating coffee from balcony' image#which i KNOW exists because i printed it and its on my coffee box. however even getting up from bed and#trying to google lens search it turned up nothing#very sad cause ira guy drinking coffee and sea pictures didnt make the cut
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we have wifi!!! temporarily. it's not fast. but it works 🥳🥳🥳
#my husband's boss said we could use the old router they used in the office until they got better internet last month#they still pay for it anyway in case something goes wrong with the new internet. and we live so close to the office that it wouldn't be a#problem if they needed it#so we have internet! kind of! it uses mobile data but the reception is better than with our phones#and obviously I can't torrent with it 😔 which makes me very very sad. but I'll live#lol#but anyway yay internet! I can see gifs again! I can watch dumb shit on YouTube again! I can send my friends 5 million pictures of random#things again! awesome 😄#personal
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guys my phone broke and i was locked out of my account for a week. but i lived and i missed u all
my phone is dead forever and i lost all my contacts. even the weed man and my grandma
(◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*.｡*♡
#saddest part is all my pictures ... i never back shit up and i dont post on ig so the whole of the last year is just gone. all my memories#and pics with my ex and all the fun stuff ive done in the last year :((( poof. makes me really sad
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💞
#last june (+ july) we talked all day every single day#i miss him so much#i wish i could go back and do it differently#it was the first time i talked so intensively w someone#and i had never sent picture or voice messages so i was so scared#if i could go back and do it again#i'd share everything with him#i'd send him pics of my days and a gn selfie and voice audios!!!!#i *can* do that now (without as much social anxiety) but he is the only one i wanna show!!!!!#but he doesnt wanna see or hear me anymore#which makes me sad but that's just how it is#ughhh i wanna cry so bad i feel so fkn alone#him coming along and showing me how good it can feel and how close u can be and then not have that anymore... PAIN#and sure there are other ppl out there ??? but my issue is that he's the only one who makes my heart spark and glimmer and beattttt
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hi! op of 'dante limbus company demanding to join a fucking union' here, if it helps any, dante IS a very silly person, despite being an amnesiac they are able to be a bit silly with it, and theres a neat feature in the game were you can find notes written by them on different lore aspects and a lot of the time they're like "and so there's this thing. it makes no sense. what the fuck is this. okay. i guess The City is just fucked up. okay." the gameplay is a turn based very stragety heavy rpg, but i dont think there's ever a point where i've felt super walled by it in terms of difficulty, and the rest of the characters ur gonna be seeing are very good too. big recommend.
ah thank you!! they look really silly lolz <33 and that feature sounds soo sillygoofy!! ive been told to play this game by what adds up to probably count as More Than Two Whole Friends, so I really should start, hehe :3
mostly I think I’m just kinda. intimidated by what I’ve seen when @not-toaster plays (and also do Not have the time to get into another game) but. it looks like a Silly game and I really should play it :33
#wowie did not expect to get this!! much surprise very startle etc :3#don’t know if she ever will log into her account but. ye :3#a question for me!!!!#<- completely forgot that was my ask tag. i don’t think I’ve been using it for Ages but also I don’t really get asks that much. so who knows#bella said something#filing this under#dante limbus company#because then I don’t need to go back and retag that last one#i hear there are Many Cool Characters in the game.#also not to sillypost on limbus company ask but the whole ‘so there’s this thing it makes no sense etc’ is kinda just deisoph at its finest#there are simply Things Wrong there <3#btw i hear you get to put dante through immense agony? sounds fun#they look so pathetic in all of the pictures I’ve seen. just so sad.#toaster? i hardly know her!
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watched alex's goodbye episode yesterday and i am conflicted
#from what i heard from people i thought it was gonna be something else entirely#i thought he was gonna screw up things with jo and be single and he'd be drunk most of the time#he'd fight someone to death or similar and he'd lose his career and fail to his potential#i had heard some izzie whispers but i didnt know how that was gonna play out#and i see why people hate it but as an izziealex truther.... part of me is so happy 😭#but then i look at the bigger picture and IT DOESNT ADD UP#the writers never managed to write izziealex like they deserve and this is it#and also jo being colateral damage is sooooo evil and so badly done#in the last few seasons i've grown to love jo and her relationship with alex#them getting married for real... only for a half a season later alex leave her for izzie?#just doesnt add upppppp#i think bc my expectations were genuinely alex is gonna end a criminal i am not as disappointed as i thought i would be#i think that if they had explored this storyline and brought katherine back it would make more sense#or if they had shown us everything that alex said he did (contacting izzie seeing the kids and the farm their chemistry)#i dont wish he had been killed off but there really wasnt that many ways to explain him being gone#i just wish him and jo never got married. they should have forgotten about the marriage license a bit longer. put a rift between them for#whatever reason#bc alex truly would never leave jo#im sad im never seeing alex and mer together again 😭#maggie and amelia are INSUFFERABLE#isa.txt
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saw baby Kingston day ruined
#omg kiera no one cares#not really i love seeing baby pictures of my sweet baby boy BUT they also make me so sad 😭😭😭#how did he grow so much over the last almost 4 years make it stop 😭😭#my cuddly soft little itty bitty baby just like me born a month early born on July 18 my best friend 😭😭😭😭#want a baby want a baby boy 😭😭
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