#the last one is unforgivable
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So let me get this straight. Our deleted scenes were;
- Five acting in character and congratulating Klaus on sobriety.
- Another Ben and Jennifer scene.
- Klaus acting unhinged after his relapse and actually seeing a ghost again now that he has his powers back.
- Luther and Diego talking about how watching their dad kill Ben made them feel.
- AN ACTUALLY SATISFYING CONCLUSION TO KLAUS’ CHARACTER ARC/HIS SUBPLOT WITH ALLISON?????
#the umbrella academy#tua#tua s4#tua season 4#tua spoilers#klaus hargreeves#number five#five hargreeves#luther hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#diego hargreeves#ben hargreeves#allison hargreeves#fr i feel like those two klaus scenes added sm#though i get why the first one was cut#second one too#they were both very short#i get it but i dont like it#the last one is unforgivable#also how dare they take away the locker room scene that added so much to luthers character
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just discovered adventure time it's fun and weird
#the insecure 15 y/o in me is feeling a bit off about this one but u know what I’m a grown up now. practically dead. so I’ll do what I want#I will however apologize for the absolute abundance of blondes on my blog in the last year.. it's unforgivable I'm sorry#also shut up I know jake is cartoony and finn is not and all I can say is this: I don't care#I think finn's hair is fun. I think it's fun how he'll cut it off for any reason#adventure time#jake#finn the human#finn and jake#I'm really in my cartoon era this year#I've truly reached the age where I only want to watch kid's shows#and anime I guess. So basically I'm 13 again#LOL#fan art#painting
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WIP Moodboard/Wednesday, Last Line and First Picrew
Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @inafieldofdaisies @aceghosts @imogenkol @cloudofbutterflies92 @cassietrn and @voidika
Tagging @josephseedismyfather @direwombat @noodlecupcakes @adelaidedrubman @raresvtm @derelictheretic @davrinsgriffons @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @josephslittledeputy @skoll-sun-eater @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @florbelles @minilev @justasmolbard @yokobai and @seedsplease + anyone else who want to join.
WIP Wednesday for my Unnamed FC5 Omegaverse WIP, Moodboard for my Doki Doki Literature Club WIP You Make My Heart Go Doki Doki Literature Club!, Last Lines for my Wednesday WIP Word Of Woe and a picrew of Silva during Christmas. Enjoy under the cut:
Another snippet for the FC5 Omegaverse WIP, with Silva trying to live her life in relative peace as a junior deputy and contributing member to society. And yet she can't even have that at a public barbecue when Eden's Gate crash it. Read below: [CW: Minor subtle discrimination in the context of Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, mostly towards Beta dynamics like Silva here (there's more in the full scene but here it's just like maybe once, or two if you count John ignoring Silva's obvious signs of 'leave me alone'. Also John harassing Silva, but what else is new]:
Silva really just wanted to fill up her plate with some nutritional food in peace and without an alpha poking his nose into her business for whatever reason.
She was unsure what his game was; could he be trying to determine if she was an omega? She understood that some omegas took a variation of suppressants that masked their scent as similar to betas, if only to deter certain alphas.
Although the suppressants were often effective, it didn't take much to discern the difference between an omega using suppressants and a regular beta. A beta's scent was far stronger than that of a suppressant's scent, though Silva guessed that wasn't common knowledge.
That or she had a better sense of smell than most betas. Which she didn't disqualify as an option.
"Invited by friends," Silva answered curtly, gesturing to where she saw her co-workers last, "Thought I'd socialize a bit."
His scent was throwing her off. Not because it was like an oregano herb, unlike the homely, comforting scent of basil and parsley that Paul had, but because he seemed familiar. Intrusive as well.
"Funny you should say that," the alpha, John, replied with a confident grin, "I've seen you avoiding more people than talking to them."
She glanced into his blue eyes; his smug glint irked her. She rolled her eyes as she replied, "That's because I'm done socializing."
She moved down, away from the alpha, and reached for the chicken ceasar salad to add to her plate; to compliment the chops that were already present. As she began topping it, her unwanted and persistent conversationalist filled the gap between them and asked, "So what is it you do around here?"
Silva's brows knitted together as she gave him an annoyed glance, stating, "I made it very clear I was done talking."
John chuckled, "No need to be so tart, my dear. Besides, I think you do want to talk."
Silva paused when she heard what he said; there was a tone within his words that rung sharply in her head, a growl that commanded obedience. To an omega, it'd be something to fear or respect; an effective deterrent towards refutes. To her though, it was something that grated at her nerves, like a man-child loudly demanding he get his way.
But it also sounded so damn familiar.
She looked at him with a burning glare that seemed to surprise him; like he hadn't prepared for his alpha voice to fail.
"I would be inclined to talk if I choose to," Silva asserted, adding, "And if you use that voice of yours on me again, you will regret it."
Despite the warning, John seemed more intrigued than anything else, putting on a friendly smile. Which bothered Silva immensely.
Her dissatisfaction only furthered when he replied, "My apologies. I wasn't too sure if you were actually a beta. I'm sure you're aware how omegas believe they have to hide themselves with your scents... a shame really."
Silva gazed at John with a stoic expression that contradicted with the bafflement she felt. One moment he was acting like a persistent sleaze and the next he's suddenly chummy with her after finding out that, yes, she is in fact, a beta.
She chose the last of her toppings for the chicken ceasar salad before walking away from him. Silva didn't grace him with a goodbye, just left him to fill up his plate.
However, in spite of this, he persisted in pestering her.
"Hold on now, you still haven't answered my question," he unhelpfully informed her as he followed after her.
Silva gripped the cutlery in her hand, repeating the mantra, It's illegal to kill a person without reasonable cause. It's illegal to kill a person without reasonable cause. It's illegal to kill-
It wasn't as helpful as she thought it would be.
[Silva to John, in some other AU probably: "In all timelines. In all possibilities. Only you... can show me how fucking annoying a person can be." If anyone understands this edited reference, I'll let you know I liked the season. Didn't love it, but it was still very good despite the high expectations]
Last Line for Word Of Woe, which is a WIP for Wednesday post-Season 1 set in the Life, Despair & Monsters series, where Wednesday Addams returns to Nevermore to unravel a new mystery; who the in the Nine Hells is bold enough to stalk her? Here she sees the introduction of Nevermore's new botany teacher:
When the teacher entered, Wednesday noted his appearance; he wore a dark blue suit that would have been better for a Gala than a school, with his dark hair and eyes, short stature, and the ridiculous Breton cap he adorned on his head didn't help her judgement of him. There was a skip in his step, with a jolly smile that sickened Wednesday.
He also held a cane in his hand, the handle like a bulbous doorknob. She wondered if he's ever caved in a skull with that.
However, her eyes narrowed when she realized something; she's seen him before. Earlier in the courtyard, playing what she presumed to be chess with a crowd of students around him and his opponent.
Moodboard for You Make My Heart Go Doki Doki Literature Club! is a WIP for DDLC, where Monika and her friends find themselves in the real world, with only Monika able to remember the things she did while in the game, and as a result the guilt too. She also gets used to actually living and while she does want to do just that, she can't help but notice a few... contradictions to her new reality.
And below is the first ever picrew of Silva Omar. It... certainly is a close encapsulation of how I picture Silva (second to her faceclaim Mina El Hammani). Although she usually has her hair done up in one braid tail that stays behind her. But this is as close as I could get to her hair undone. Here she is attempting to commit to the Christmas joy. Could either be celebrating at Elsa's lodge (which would explain the undone hair (plus the sweater) as Silva didn't do up her hair until after Persephone's death...) or at a co-workers home or something akin to that for a party (which would explain the false joy and tired look as Silva is generally like that because of her insomnia and night terrors plus putting up a front to hide her grief for this particular month... though post-Persephone's death, Silva would be spending her time alone at her residence because, well, this is the month her sister die and Christmas is literally Elsa's birthday so...). Anyway image below:
#wip wednesday#moodboard tag#last line tag#picrew#series: the silver chronicles#far cry 5#omegaverse#oc: silva omar#beta!silva#john seed#john will always be the most punchable seed to silva#series: life despair & monsters#wip: word of woe#wednesday#wednesday addams#oc: sir enigma malvolio#wip: you make my heart go doki doki literature club!#doki doki literature club#ddlc#yeah so like silva's depressed and she just bottles it up because that's easier than processing EVERYTHING#the reaping provides a lovely distraction until she runs out of her ptsd pills and the trauma gets worse#plus the bliss manifesting silva's fears or anger into illusions especially if there's no guide (like faith or least favorably joseph)#like in that one wip wednesday where her thoughts had influenced the bliss to manifest a previous enemy she definitely killed#that being zhan tiri since the bliss reminds silva of the shorter woman's use of alchemy/chemical weapons to psychologically torment silva#and sell to anyone willing to buy because out of all of paul's heralds zhan tiri prided herself on her numerous unforgivable war crimes#zhan tiri is literally the embodiment of “fuck all those people i want to become the most wanted woman on the planet”.#because she's awful <3#anyway silva's just trying to do what she does best as always. she needs therapy BADLY#instead of fighting wars and wooing a cult leader's drug-proprietor adopted sister
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you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray
(prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "gone with the wind".)
static frames below:
ouch! neck deep in aos bones feels rn... lmk if i should make a fix-it or somethin
#yeah so yesterday i said id try not to get distracted.. Guess how well that went LMAO#SORRY BONES hes going thru it in this one but literally this is all aos canon. aos is so mean to him and for what#not a single drop of closure... tos bones would flip shit if he found out. Thats the real reason why bones prime never shows up in aos#YEAH BTW PLEASE LOOK AT THE STATIC FRAMES PROCREATE HAS A ASTRONOMIC GRUDGE AGAINST THE 3RD SLIDE FOR SOME REASON#it would NOT stop crunching that one single GODDAMN FRAME in the gif. like full on colour blowout. like WHAT DID IT EVER DO TO YOU#YEAH SO I HAD TO SCREENSHOT IT AND PUT THAT IN THE GIF. EXCEPT MY IPAD SCREENSHOTS THINGS WEIRD. so its CONSPICUOUSLY BRIGHT#the 3rd and 4th frames are meant to have the same background color. every time i watch the gif i am filled with unimaginable rage#WHAT DID THAT FRAME EVER DO TO MY IPAD. what unforgivable crimes did it ever commit to be disrespected like this#ok rant over tags now :))#star trek#star trek aos#star trek fanart#mcspirk bingo#mcspirk#mcspirk fanart#spones#mckirk#spirk#star trek alternate original series#aos#spones fanart#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#spock#jim kirk#did not use a single ref so the fact that the uniforms are reasonably legible as aos is a win (not like i use refs for anything else lol)#spirk is holding hands in that last frame!! gay people moment#OH AND I DID THIS IN LIKE. AROUND 3 HOURS? ive been meaning to draw that first frame for ages now so YIPPEEEEE#i did have a different caption in mind tho. Guess ill redraw it in the future LMAO#dust medibang paints
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ldpdl; born to be a pillow princess, forced to be a dom top
#armands most unforgivable crime /j#lmao#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#ldpdl#louis de pointe du lac#also i saw the preview for episode 7 lestat is sitting in the chair from the teaser images#ya know the one where he was gripping his hand hard as shit?#crazy. crazy. how am i gonna last the week without exploding
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he stayed the same
all of me changed like midnight
(midnight rain, taylor swift)
#professor layton#professor layton and the unwound future#professor layton and the last spector#professor layton and the azran legacy#pl6 spoilers#al spoilers#desmond sycamore#hershel bronev#descole#don't get me wrong#still not a fan of this guy#still think he's done some unforgiveable shit#and i don't think his tragic backstory excuses it#but sacrificing his chance for a loving family so his brother could have one instead#that was kind#queue takumi defense squad
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there r a lot of things about the myth of psyche and eros that makes me a little insane but one of them has always been the tasks from aphrodite and the unfairness of it. they're not intended to be possible. they're so obviously not meant to be possible, and psyche isn't fucking hercules, you know, she's not a demigod or whatever, she's mortal and these aren't mortal tasks!! it's why psyche has to be helped with each one, fucking by like ants and river gods and shit. and so like. idk. i know ppl see psyche and eros as like a story about love and shit which obviously it is but as a kid psyche and eros always felt like a story about being able to accept help
#in my theoretical adaptation of psyche and eros i'll never write i emphasize this theme#by changing psyche from a princess and youngest daughter to a poorer girl and eldest daughter who is very like. sophie hatter esque#also tbh when i first started thinking about my theoretical adaptation of psyche and eros i was reading hmc LMAO#also also ALSO. as a kid i always felt like the story was soooo deeply about regret and atonement and forgiveness#like YES the story is about love but not about easy love. love is difficult and requires work and sometimes u hurt each other !!!!!#it always struck me as a kid how psyche just. accepts the tasks.#i always read it as like. psyche KNOWS these tasks are unfair and i dont even think she expects to achieve them#but she accepts them anyways because she so deeply regrets what she did to eros and has no idea what else she can do.#am i verbalizing this well or have the worms eating my brain reached an irreversible point#also tbf im pretty sure the version i read as a kid didnt include the multiple times psyche tries to kill herself LMAO.#but we're ignoring that because i love the idea that shes just. so aimless and resigned to the tasks#ALSO on eros' side of things#i dont have like proper analysis about it but as a kid i saw eros hiding his face as like. fear?#like. fear that the person he loves will think he's a monster if he reveals his true self. or somethin. which also. i think is very queer#also very beauty and the beast. for obvious reasons since it was based on psyche and eros lmao#oh also. i already mentioned it but psyche and hercules r so similar.#did something unforgivable to a loved one --> given multiple impossible tasks to atone for it etc etc#i dont have any real analysis abt it i dont remember a lot abt hercules tbh but. yah#ALSO. okay i think retellings of hades and persephone where theyre totally in love and stuff r kinda tired.#BUT. in the theoretical adaptation i always imagined a scene where psyche does the last task where she goes to the underworld#and shes tired shes soso tired#and she goes to persephone and persephone is gentle and motherly which aphrodite has Not been to psyche#and i think if persephone is unkidnapped and truly in love w hades#then i think there could be a fun parallel between persephone and psyche in which like. theyre both in love w ppl#who are seen as monsters. and shit. or whatever#anyways. idk what made me think abt this again. ACTUALLY i do know i might write a twine for the neotwiny game jam#and it might be inspired by psyche and eros#anyways. lmao#jc.txt
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if you hate jayce talis i'm sorry but i will perceive you as a person devoid of media literacy
#i'm so sorry jayce you were chosen to be the scapegoat of arcane#all of the characters said shitty things all of them made questionable choices but he's the unforgivable one oh sure#how can you hate jayce for doing something bad and then go on to praise and love jinx. like. ok. that's funny#like. they hate him for sleeping with mel like he KNEW that viktor was almost dying at the same time??!?!?!?#yeah i'm sure that was his evil plan all along i'll have sex while knowing that my best friend is dying in the other room#i'm not saying that people aren't allowed to dislike a character. no. that's perfectly normal#but the jayce hate is Absurd. it became a mindless trend and it's so fucking weird and waaaaay out of proportion#y'all wouldn't last a day with jayce giopara the true babygirl
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How do you think the show will depict Armand and Lestat’s relationship? I used to think that the theatre box scene was made up because well, Armand is obviously distorting a lot of stuff. But since Armand was already exposed as a liar this season I don’t think they’re going to have him be exposed again for lying abt something major in s3? I’m also curious if they’re going to keep Armand’s Lestat obsession
Hey! It's an interesting area to think about, especially because I think there are a lot of truths in Armand's story (taking Nicki to bait Lestat out, Lestat's role in the destruction of the Children of Satan cult, Lestat giving Armand and the coven the theatre, his and Lestat's mutual attraction), but there's already lies threaded through that it sounds like the show's planning for (most notably, of course, Gabrielle being omitted, Lestat playing Harlequin instead of Lelio and, of course, Lestat and Armand having had sex).
I talked about it in more detail here (and included the passage from the book), but I actually think them not having consumated their relationship + the one time they tried, Lestat being massively triggered with memories of Magnus, is too important to Lestat's arc at that point of the story to lose?
I could be wrong, of course, but given the way Rolin's talked about the trauma Lestat carries with him, and the weight of that particular scene as both a trigger point for trauma and one where Lestat explodes violently, I feel it'll probably be adapted?
It also feeds I think into this touchstone that the show's been exploring already of victim-survivors of sexual violence (Claudia, Lestat and Armand) all treating each other pretty badly and refusing to engage with the fact that trauma might inform the other's action. I've written about this before, but Lestat weaponising Claudia's rape, while Claudia casts doubt on Lestat's, and Armand diminishes Lestat's in 2.03 is all pretty pointed to me and opens up a really interesting dialogue in how trauma isn't a ticket to compassion when it comes to other people experiencing similar horrors.
So yeah, I don't know! I do think they're going to be insane about each other, haha, and I think there was genuinely a lot of truth in Armand's retelling, but I think there was a lot that was deliberately mm, curated too.
#that's kind of one of the fun things about them depicting armand as basically an archivist in the show too#he's preserved their history#but history - even that in gallaries and museums and record keeping archives - is still curated#someone decides what to keep#and what context something is given#like i don't think there's an unforgiveable lie in armand's recollection of lestat in the way there was in his recollection of the trial#rather it's a curated truth mixed with a little fantasy#the fact that it robs lestat of his autonomy goes back to what i was talking about last week where lestat as a character gets so much agenc#but very little autonomy in the books#and i think that's there in the show too#iwtv asks#armand asks
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Which is your favourite and least favourite harry potter book?
while i think Prisoner of Azkaban is the best on a technical level, my favorite is Goblet of Fire. because it's a fucking blockbuster. like, this is a book that is firing on all cylinders, trying to do a million billion things at once, and it executes the fuck out of basically everything. besides the fact that it dives deeper into character dynamics than any previous book (ron and harry! hermione and ron! hermione and krum! sirius and harry! ron and percy! etc!!), it's a massive expansion of the universe: it opens up whole new wizarding hemispheres, new countries, new cultures, TONS of new characters, the Quidditch World Cup, the Triwizard Tournament, the Ministry of Magic's bureaucratic politics, the Old Guard death eaters, and the beginning of the Order of the Phoenix. it gives us Fleur and Krum and Mad-Eye Moody and Cho and Cedric and Charlie Weasley, and the first taste of Snape's backstory, not to mention pensieves and mermaids and fucking dragons, like sorry, are you seeing this shit??
and then, finally, it gives us the beginning of the second wizarding war. it gives us the graveyard scene and Cedric Diggory's sacrifice, one of the best and most important moments in any book ever, because it's the whole story in a nutshell, and it's also the moment that the plot starts. Goblet is the crux of the entire series, and it nails almost everything. (the exception being the Moody plot twist, which... I did not love, but like: must a conclusion be "good"? is it not simply enough for a story to plow headfirst off the rails in a wildly entertaining direction, and then end? i think it is.)
so those are what I see as the Objective Goods of Goblet. my Subjective Goods are: i love a tournament arc, i love a GAME, i love a set of rules and rituals and ceremonies and opportunities to demonstrate character through contrasting behavior in response to pre-ordained challenges and rule sets. i love you Yule Ball, i love you prom arc, i love you dressing characters up in silly little outfits and making them take each other on dates, i love you teenage drama and misunderstandings and jealousy and teenybopper romantic subplots. i love you goblet of fire.
#least favorite is easily deathly hallows#i've bitched about it on here before but deathly hallows just misunderstands the story that it's ending#in a way that is almost unforgivable as the last note for a series#you can't just end your seven-book saga about the world-saving potential of love and community by having your protagonist#take off on his own with only two people and bitch at them for 200 pages#reject help at every opportunity refuse to tell any of his adoptive family shit#have a war happen 95% off-page and then end with a Big Damn Battle where your protagonist becomes a christ allegory#basically solidifying the idea that no actually this guy was just Super Special all along#and the community was nice but really it was All About This One Guy fighting This Other Guy! no politics no themes here folks!#andnowtheyallhavebabies BYE!!#like sorry. L denouement bro
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thinking of doing more perfect court polls hmmm lots of thoughts about the top 5
#yk it drives me crazy that andrew's number is either jean or aaron there's something to be said about that#riko's like that one friend that only one bitch in the grp is codependent w (kevin) and cant cut off#cuz it's HIS toxic relationship to keep guys (until something unforgivable happens)#and the gc starts cheering like WOOOOO THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED#and they throw a party in celebration while kevin gets drunk and passes out in sadness of losing the worst person in his life#like good riddance babe but i can't say i haven't experienced the feeling#girls w an ex best friend will be like yeah i understand the nuance between kevin and riko yeah yeah i get it#anyway#aftg#tfc#kevin day#neil josten#andrew minyard#jean moreau#riko moriyama#the perfect court#notice how i put riko last
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my desire to enjoy an odyssey retelling and a few bops vs the casual and comparatively mild but still very much there sexism in epic the musical
#all I will say is. it's unforgivable that penelope doesn't have one single line until the last saga#a crime for sure#epic the musical#mine
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[ Every time Daniel jabs his finger into the laptop I want to shake him. It's such a boomer thing to do but my god man, BE GENTLE. ]
#[He earned that last one...]#[The final finger jab to end the interview.]#[But the rest are unforgiveable.]
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Just thinking about @10yrsy’s Things, y’know, casually (Patreon)
#Doodles#IZ#I know Things is long dead but I've been feeling rather nostalgic lately#Man let alone Irkens when was the last time I doodled a Latrodectus haha - and 10's style of antenna! It's all quite nostalgic#I'll try not to get Too sappy but it's hard when I was so inspired by Things! It had a big impact on me#Without exaggeration Things helped shape the trajectory of my life for quite a while - it's interesting to think about artistic influences#But gosh heck I don't think I've doodled anything of any of them since the song contest all those years ago lol#I like to think I've improved a bit since then lol ♪ Though the medium is quite different haha#Finally drew Nid! Only took a Very long time lolol#I do remember having doodled some Extreme roughs for a comic concept ages and ages ago but that's really all I remember lol#Maybe hunting down those old notebooks sometime would be fun haha#ANYway lol - enough reminiscing! There's all this current silliness!#Snarp was my favourite back in the day and I still like him a lot haha#He's a prickly little so-and-so! A cute and spicy lad! Always a fun ♪#If ''little meow meow'' had existed as a term back then I would've used it for him lol he deserves it#It really is about the [unforgivable nature] paired with [unconditional love] hhh their friendship is still really cute <3#Myk! He's always had the most gorgeous design <3 His eyes! My word!#Beauty like that really doesn't age - I was always a fan of the close up of his eye and his skin texture ahh#Probably no one remembers this blog's original icon but hmm ♪ Inspiration down many many avenues haha#Hopefully I did his eyes justice with my limited traditional palette haha#Had to show off his muscles a little too <3 Those gloves man he's just a pretty dude!#I did a bit of editing magic with Nid so if his eyeline doesn't quite match up just sshhhshshshh it's fine lol ♪#Who's saying which and who's gasping hmmm who knows it's a mystery hehe#And ending off with those two again <3 It's their dynamic I swear I just jdslfdsf it gets me bad lol#Squish him hold him (gently (maybe not that gently)) haha
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reaching a point in my life where im becoming truly obsessed with babies as both a concept and a reality but i'm also just as repulsed by pregnancy as ive ever been . can only satisfy my internal clamoring for childcare by seeing my cousins three times a year and when you get your babies that way they are not babies for long enough
#example: i've met ellie my sweet little cousin ellie a total of two times in my life#the first time she was two months old and asleep the entire two days (at a funeral! an italian one!)#the second time was last month and she was already making speechlike noises and sitting up on her own and grinning and playing#and approximately the size and shape of the michelin man (adorable)#by the time i see her at thanksgiving she'll be close to walking and i will miss everything in between!!!!!!!#the march of time is unforgiving!!!!!!!!!#when people bring their babies into the library i want to drop everything and hold those suckers immediately#.girl help i am experiencing the biological imperative#q
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yesterday, i learned that one of my acquaintances from church is like, gleefully and unreservedly supportive of the gazan genocide despite going to a church where every sermon for the past few weeks has been about the horrors and tragedy of said genocide. like, i could not fucking believe how hilarious he seemed to think it is that innocent palestinians are dying, just grinning and laughing and shaking his head and rolling his eyes when my pastor and i expressed horror at the innocent people being killed. just remembering it makes me choke up with anger.
anyway, i'm going to be very stupid and try to talk to him about it this coming sunday. i'll use all my teacherly tricks to try and gently lead him to feel one single scrap of empathy for the victims of israel's civilian massacre, but lbr: he'll probably respond with the same amount of glee and condescension as last night and it's going to end with me making me a scene at church.
but i know i shouldn't. so here are some things i should NOT say, no matter how angry he makes me:
i've always hated the sound of your voice, even before you said such horrible things. you say everything with such condescension. when you read the gospels in church, i have to hide my face behind my program to hide my grimacing. you make the words of christ himself sound like a grift of some oily used car dealer who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. i pity you for going through life with such a voice, and pity you even more for thinking it charming.
it baffles me that you'd allow something as basically human as compassion for the suffering of others to be so utterly sanded away by propaganda. it's pathetic that you could laugh at innocents dying. you've let yourself be lobotomized by a clumsy surgeon and style yourself wise with the icepick still sticking from your skull.
i've always thought your face looks like an easter island head sculpted from a raw chicken breast.
see? none of those would be productive, no matter how truly they express my feelings about this person.
thus: people of faith, pray that god grants me the wisdom and restraint to not light this motherfucker up in the middle of coffee hour. amen.
#vent post#personal post#this happened last night and i thought i'd feel less angry in the morning but NOPE#still incandescent about it#sometimes i think i'm a very self-righteous and unforgiving person#bc i can't seem to do the thing other people do where they can just chalk things like this up to a difference in opinion and remain friends#when someone is cruel‚ it feels like it completely deranges me#suddenly they're a monster in my eyes#buuuut none of the philosophies i subscribe to endorse this kind of black-and-white thinking. quite the opposite actually.#so. i've gotta work on seeing people as works-in-progress rather than writing them off as incorrigible monsters#but.... lemme just vent first 🤬#love my pastor though. i was raised jewish‚ and he was adopted by a jewish family when he was 13 and almost became jewish himself#so i feel like we have similar spiritual backgrounds and see eye-to-eye on a lot of things#after my argument with the above asshole‚ my pastor and i spoke at length about what was happening in gaza and how horrible it all is#as well as topics like zionism‚ antisemitism‚ and the torah#he's such a good guy. i'm sad he's retiring :(#i feel like we need him now more than ever to keep speaking out about the genocide#and to make sure views like the one mentioned above don't take hold in our church#cw: genocide#cw: racism
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