#the last 3 or more pride months involved me taking the time to read into a lot of orientations and identities for hours

[coffee-mouse]

[4pfsukuna]

Enemies to f⭐️cking lover Toji

Ok so ive been thinking about releasing a 3-5 part enemies to lovers(or something along those lines) for toji although i know the most common works on here is one shot smut. Trust smut will be involved… its toji

You used to be an american spy but japan pays nearly tripple. The jobs were quick easy taking 2 days at max. You had climbed the interest ladder for your ability to get things done in a quick and neat fashion with minimal mess and uproar increasing your salary from 4 figures to six in only a couple of months. Unfortunately theres another assasin whos getting in your way and hes the exact opposite of everything you stand for. 

Not only does he not wear a mask to cover his identity, he lets his targets know exactly who he his just so they can have his name as their last thought before death.

Toji fushiguro.

The biggest jackass youve ever met.

This wasnt your typical one sided beef where youd get mad at him and hed flirt no he had beef with the number one assassin who was stealing his target which means his money. It truly grinded his gears and yours when they made you split a salary.

“Might as well go home princess” you hear his raspy voice though princess was said in a derogatory way hes made it clear several times he hated the way you did things. Why be so… clean. Death is death.

“Fuck off pretty boy go back and crawl into whatever shitty little backroom of a laundry mat and return to horse betting” you seethe having done your research on him. Its not like he needed the money for anything important unlike you who wanted it for taking care of responsibilities back home.

This mission had been one of your biggest yet and you did not need to blow your hiding spot nor cover by arguing with his big ass over nothing.

You're grabbed from the crouching position your in and slammed against the brick wall not hard enough to hurt but it does press into your all black outfit.

“You can do whatever research you want on me but you dont fucking know me… you dont know shit.” he snarls lip on his scar stretching further yet you shove him off. “And im not a pretty boy”

“Please youre not the threat you think you are” you scoff attempting to bruise his ego and the way he steps forward lets you know you did but you never let your guard down to your surroundings and youre quick to pull out your gun aiming in his direction.

He chuckles crossing his arms over his broad chest and you may be uninterested but youre not blind to how his compression tee squeezes him in a way thats… satisfactory to the eye.

“Going to shoot me princess? I thought you were too good to get your hands dirty. Squeemish at blood even” he pokes until you release six shots shooting the men slowly approaching that he failed to notice.

“You fucking shot me!” He growls touching the tiny drip of blood from where the bullet grazed the tip of his ear just enough to break skin not cause any definite damage. 

Taking a bow you smirk before making eye contact with him the only gap in your mask being the slot for your eyes.

“Oh sorry about that pretty boy, ill do you a solid and let you tell shiu you got this one all on your own.” you tease knowing his pride wouldn't let him take the credit for something he wouldn’t do. 

“No i don’t want your pity kill” he seethes looking as if he’s ready to throw a tantrum yet you can only smile knowing you won this battle.

“Great more money for me” you grin running past him the location no longer serving you any purpose. It was time to cash in and Shiu didnt stay up past 2am.

Toji grabs your arm stopping you from escaping though before he could speak the faint sound of sirens in the distance growing closer.

“What? You goin’ to hold me here until the cops get here with these other dead bodies how do you think that’s going to look? A big, strong and muscular giant holding a petite young woman like myself” you victimize yourself and you watch the frustration grow in his eyes knowing he has to let you go.

“Its not fucking over” he hisses releasing you with a slight push making your smile grow even wider.

“Great more chances for me to teach a pup like you what not to do” you tease tearing off a piece of his shirt and pressing it to his ear. “Wouldn’t want your blood at a crime scene would we fushiguru”

And youre dissapearing into the darkness of night and he watches your silhouette slip down an alley until he no longer can. 

You may have thought you had the last laugh but he was best friends with Shiu. So when you near you third week of no assignment you figure its time to reach out to the former and see what the issue is. Learning that Toji somehow convinced him you wanted a break you decided it was time to cut your ties temporarily with the man and find a new “project manager”

The next assignment is the most you’ve ever been offered so high in the six digits it’s close to seven and for a simple retreival mission.

So when youre standing surrounded

“Toj

Waking up with a throbbing headache youre confused when you meet the eyes of a spikey haired 5 year old who is playing with a toy truck a black puppy not to far behind. He must feel you stairing since he turns to face you and gives you a toothy grin.

“My dad must like you, he doesnt let us wear hats in the house but let you keep your mask on” he stutters slightly and you reach up feeling the mask

[g0ldgauntlet]

Why I Dropped Winter Moon.

Disclaimer: This is not a callout post on Merryweather (aka the author), nor am I insinuating that the Webtoon's fans are bad people for reading the comic. I was just personally unhappy with it. Also, quick warning for mentions of queer stereotyping, torture, and abuse. (Image description is in alt text)

Florence is My Least Favorite Member of the Main Team

Yes, we're starting this off with him. Florence is the first character of the main trio who the readers are introduced to in the story, and he's an irritating, hot mess. The man is unlikeable to the highest degree. He doesn't need to be a completely good person with a lighthearted personality to be appealing, but the problem I had was that there wasn't anything actually compelling about him. For a while, Florence's character just consisted of being the flamboyant gay guy of the trio with a horrible and selfish attitude, who also had broken fire magic and could win literally every fight that he was in, even when it really feels like he shouldn't be.

His gay identity was constantly made into a running gag that the author could use for jokes, such as when Risa would insult him based on his orientation, but those jokes never really landed for me. They felt awkward and forced (especially the Pride Month episodes, which were really hard to read). Him mistreating the people around him constantly made me wonder why exactly Gideon was even friends with him to begin with, and Florence's broken magic made every fight encounter that could have been compelling to follow...turn out very boring instead, as the predictable outcome would always be that the three main characters would win by a landslide in the end.

It is not until about 123 episodes in that we finally get to see some crucial depth to Florence's backstory, and later on, he faces consequences for how awful he's been to other people, putting him on track to trying to become a better person. By this point in time, however, it was too late for me to care about him. In comparison, we were given Risa (and her brother)'s backstory much earlier, and she receives character development in relation to it, all the way up to when we first find out about Florence's life outside of playing Magnolia Online. Speaking of episodes, however...

I Dislike The Comic's Pacing

I am not one to pressure creators to make content faster if they need breaks, but in the case of this Webtoon, it wasn't about how long it took for the episodes to be released. Each episode that's released is really short, and because of that, a lot of plot points in the story feel like they go on for far longer than necessary. For example, a segment of the story that goes on for, perhaps, 4-6 episodes could have actually been resolved in just 2-3 if more panels were included in a singular episode. A cheap gag that also takes up about 3 episodes for each one could have all been packed into 1 episode instead.

Again, to compare, this was a strength that I think Lookism had over this Webtoon, as I constantly remember Johan's backstory over the 7 episodes where it was tackled, but there was so much content timed in a way that made the reader want to learn more about him (with Zack and Mira even being involved as well). Everything was worth the wait, and I now wanted to know more about what the author would do with this character in the future.

Since Winter Moon had originally marketed itself as a comedy Webtoon, the short pacing makes sense for a story that relied a lot on quick gags for each episode. For me, however, this got old very fast.

Risa's Treatment and Arc

What the author did with Risa, admittedly, was my last straw, as it was the reason why I ended up dropping the comic. To start, I was never the biggest fan of her design. I figured that it followed a specific set of anime tropes, so I tried to brush past it as the comic continued. However, later on, it is then revealed that while Florence and Gideon are adults, Risa is only 17 years old.

Yes, I know that a lot of her outfits are fantasy costumes from a video game, but I still found the design choices to be questionable for a teenage girl whose avatar is directly supposed to represent her. It's especially weirder when I recall that Risa's comedic gag is supposed to be that she's a seductive, gold-digging priestess. This 17-year-old girl goes around online flirting and calling grown men "daddy" in hopes that she can get them to do her bidding. She tries doing the same thing to Florence to get out of a bad situation, but the gag is basically, "Haha, her feminine wiles don't work on him because he's gay!" Yep. Not because Risa is underage or anything, but because Florence is just not attracted to women...implying that there's a chance it would work if he was straight or bi.

I know that, realistically, neither Florence nor any of the men online would have any way of knowing Risa's age unless she told them, but the author does know her age, and he is the one who consciously wrote that into the story....Not to mention that he also wrote Florence making Risa his slave.

As uncomfortable as I was with this so far, I was pleasantly surprised when the author began to dive further into Risa's backstory and character development. Of the trio, she's probably the most compelling character, and the way she acts, whether she grows for the better or goes into a downward spiral, makes sense for a teenager.

My positive reactions to Risa end here, unfortunately, due to what happens next.

Part of the story subjects Risa to a plotline that involves a stranger of her past named Lance. Risa had been mean to Lance during their time together in Magnolia Online, and because Lance is chronically online, he took it so personally that he made it his mission to track down Risa, and abuse and torture her. This plotline was around for more than 28 episodes, with Lance being hinted at a few times but never actually doing much in the story until the Season 3 finale onward. This plotline's biggest problem was its pacing, which I had already mentioned was an issue for me with the Webtoon. Lance spends several episodes setting up scenarios for Risa to be bullied and abused by her classmates so that he can swoop in and act kind to her, attempting to lure her into a false sense of trust. This made sense for the arc so far, so I wasn't complaining. Then, we finally get to episode 42 of Season 4.

This was the start of when Risa was trapped with Lance, as well as a man that he hired to torture the girl. This torture session (as well as Risa's attempts to escape her aggressors) lasts for 10 consecutive episodes before Risa is finally saved by Deiderich, her brother.

That sequence absolutely did not have to be 10 episodes long. I think reception to it would have gone over better if a lot of the panels that were drawn out over so many episodes were compacted into a few. If I were to be generous, it could have been 5, but if I'm being honest, I think it only needed 3 episodes to get the point across to readers.

The sequence, as is, was extremely uncomfortable to read through, and also really unnecessary. Unsurprisingly, Merry received a ton of backlash over this decision - probably the most backlash he's ever gotten over the Webtoon at that point in the story.

As a former reader of the comic, I can confirm that Merry never warned any of us that the story was going to take this dark of a turn. It began with a bunch of awkward gags, but then it tried to take itself too seriously and the pacing issues became much more obvious over time. I think his fanbase had a right to complain about the whiplash that they got, especially with how long this took to execute. Merry seemed to get the message to at least some extent, as when I checked back to view the comic, Winter Moon's genre changed from "Comedy" to "Fantasy," and now the series is rated as Mature.

Mayui, the illustrator for the comic, was also tasked with portraying Lance's "ugliness," since this was relevant during the arc as well.

The problem with this, which was even pointed out in the comments, is that Lance doesn't look ugly at all. His "ugliness" is only portrayed through the usage of physical features that are very commonly seen on people of color. My first thought when seeing these panels for the first time was that Lance had identical features to Asian guys that I knew back in highschool.

When Lance gets plastic surgery to become "beautiful," his face is designed to fit the standard artstyle of the comic, which features thin-to-non-existent-lips and a thin nose. I just found it strange that Mayui made this decision to emphasize ugliness for the character, since from what I can recall, there are little to no black and brown characters in the Webtoon.

After this plotline was completed, I tried reading some more episodes. However, what Risa had been subjected to kept weighing me down, and eventually I just gave up and abandoned the Webtoon in its entirety. I did not appreciate seeing the only female character of the main team being subjected to so much for the sake of what was starting to seem like shock value based on the pacing of the episodes.

The Takeaway

I realized that the reason why I read Merry's comics was not because of his writing, but the artwork itself, and Winter Moon was no different in this regard. The artists that Merry would hire for each of his comics are all very talented at what they do, creating beautiful backgrounds, atmospheres, and facial expressions for the characters that are accurate to the moment that Merry was writing about. This is exactly what happened to me when I tried reading the original version of My Succubus Girlfriend - I thought the dialogue was awkward and not very funny, but the facial expressions and art for the characters made up for it by actually getting a laugh out of me.

As for Merry himself, however, I picked up on how his sense of humor seems to be more along the lines of what cishet white male anime enthusiasts would find entertaining (such as Lost Pause, who has gone on record to say that he and Merry are friends). This is simply something that has just never really appealed to me, and it wasn't hard to figure out that I'm likely not the target audience for Winter Moon.

If you like this Webtoon, then don't let me rain on your parade. I'm not shaming you for liking it - It's just not for me.

[2boldlyqueer]

help a disabled queer fix their car this pride month (please!!)

Me (left) and my cute cat Cosmo (right) for attention

I am trying to raise $1500 to fix the transmission on my car, as it's currently undriveable. I have been out of work since early February due to a drunk driver rear-ending me while he was going 60mph. My family is helping me as much as they can, but it's going to take months to scrape this kind of money together without help, and until then I'm totally dependent on others being available when I have doctor's appointments. I haven't been able to go to physical therapy as often as I'm supposed to because of it, and I'm in a lot more pain because of it. 

DONATION LINKS

Paypal https://paypal.me/tastreg

CashApp https://cash.app/$tastreg

Venmo https://account.venmo.com/u/TonyGo12 

GoFundMe https://gofund.me/df8d4896

(If I happen to get incredibly lucky and get more than my goal, that money will go towards getting a new pair of glasses, since mine have been broken and held together by glue for two years now! TT-TT)

If you can’t give, please consider reblogging this post.

Thank you for reading!I hope you have a lovely day <3

More detail below the cut if you want it:

The Car

The transmission on my car is failing, and I can't drive it without fear that it'll give out any moment. There have already been a few scary moments where I thought I was going to be stuck in the middle of the road. I was able to get to the mechanic and get a quote, I need $1500 to fix the issue. (And that was before a second issue popped up on the way home, so it’s possible it’ll be more.)

Where I live, it's impossible to get anywhere without a car, so I'm really stuck and relying on the kindness of others to get me to my doctor's appointments, since I also can't afford taxis, plus Uber/Lyft don't service around here. This has already caused issues, as I've had to cut back on my physical therapy appointments due to not being able to get to them, and I've been doing a lot worse since then.

My Health & Monetary Situation

I've been unable to work since early February, as I've been recovering from a major accident, where I was rear-ended by a drunk driver. The car I had then was completely totalled; thankfully his insurance paid out just enough to get another cheap, used car. I've been dealing with major pain and health issues since. Pain and spasms in my hips and legs make it difficult to stand, sit, or walk for any amount of time. Multiple vertebrae throughout my spine are out of place, which cause a ton of constant pain and unpredictably variable numbness that makes my arms and hands useless when it happens. 

My work prior to the accident involves a lot of lifting and carrying, as well as repairs that require full control of my hands, so I haven't been able to return to it. I've actually picked up a new job remotely tutoring due to monetary needs, but it doesn't offer much in the way of hours and is difficult with the on-and-off brain fog and fatigue I've been experiencing since the accident. I'm in the process of being assessed for post-concussive syndrome because of that and new difficulties with language & numbers (which are driving me up the wall, I love writing and now I have to really work at it. This thing took me multiple days to write out when normally it would've taken me about half an hour.)

My credit cards are all maxed out from my last health crisis in 2021 and my credit score is too low to get another credit card right now. I'm just barely scraping by on lost wages from insurance and help from my family. Unfortunately, they can't support me any more than they already are, as we’re all straddling the poverty line and live in areas with high costs of living. I do have a civil suit pending against the man who hit me, but I don't expect that to resolve for at least a few months.

Thank you so much if you took the time to read all that. I really hope you consider donating -- even a dollar will help! Whether you donate or not, please consider sharing, it would really help me out. I hope you have a wonderful day! <3 To reward you for reading all that, have another cat pic :3

[rhianthialritak]

Welcome to:

Corey's Handy Trans Spoonie Shower Tips!

(Disclaimer: these are things that help me. They may not work for you. Many of them can likely be adapted for transfem use but I'm transmasc so I don't know how well.

Additional disclaimer: this was originally written by one of my alters on Twitter. I am posting it here with some revisions and additions)

Tips are under the cut because it's a Long Post

1.) Select your clothes BEFORE you get in the shower.

They don't necessarily have to be new (read: not recently worn clean) clothes. If taking off your pajamas and planning to put them back on when you're done is what gets you to take a shower, then do that.

The goal isn't perfection, the goal is getting showered

2.) Get yourself a shower chair.

Ideally you should be using a shower chair. They range in price and size depending on your needs.

I find the less time I spend standing in the shower, the more actual showering I get done.

Personally I use this guy because I don't need much back support in the shower but I do need to be able to rotate. It also fits nicely in my tub, whereas a proper chair chair might not.

Measure the inside of your shower before you buy and make sure to check the weight capacity. Never buy a chair with a weight capacity below your weight. Also note that even with a higher weight capacity a chair with aluminium legs may only last a year or two depending on your size and your usage frequency.

I've used this one too. I don't recommend it personally. It was a bit wobbly and I didn't care for how I had to make sure it was where I wanted before every shower.

Also does not play nice with curtains (read: you're going to get water everywhere)

3. Shower when you can.

Don't stress yourself out worrying about whether or not you're showering enough.

If you can only shower once a week, that's better than not at all.

If you can only shower once a month, that's better than not at all.

4. Use what makes it easier

If you struggle with the number of steps involved in a shower, try using a combined product.

Using a 2 in 1 shampoo is better than not using shampoo.

Using an All in 1 body wash is better than not using soap.

It's not ideal, but if it'll get you washed, then it's good.

Prioritise actually managing to take a shower over whether or not you took the shower "right".

5. Sometimes you need a tool

I bought one of these at a pride event and it is genuinely a life saver: https://dirtyunicorn.fun/products/soapy-scrubbie

https://dirtyunicorn.fun/products/soapy-scrubbie

Pre-soaped loofas/sponges/etc exist and if they make it easier to wash, then you should use them.

Soap on a rope is good if you difficulty holding onto bar soap.

Similarly, bath sticks work great, especially if you have reduced shoulder mobility or pain when bending.

They're usually pretty cheap: https://t.co/7cS10RJ8f5

6. Fun Soap

Showering is easier when the items involved aren't tedious. Try fun colored soap or soap in fun shapes.

7. Shower clothes

If you're struggling with dysphoria, it's better to wear a pair of swim trunks into the shower and shower in your swim trunks than it is to just put off showering forever.

Whether this is a pair of swim trunks exclusively used when you shower, or a rash guard to cover your chest, it's better to shower wearing something than to not shower at all.

Similarly, if you have the money to invest in a silicone packer, or some other form of waterproof packer, showering with it can be a great way to reduce bottom dysphoria in the shower, whether you wear a swim packing harness or just sit on the shower chair with it on your lap.

These are the things that help me take a shower. Feel free to add your own tips and tricks.

[houseofhyde]

Hyde, you can’t give me the most perfect eloquently written another man’s series and just leave me high and dry for p3 :’(

I understand not everything is written in a day and please take the time you need, but i hope all is well and i will be patiently waiting for the masterpiece.

first of all, thank you so much for your kind ask. another man's is a fic i hold a lot of care and love towards, and to have it be praised just fills me with so much pride.

secondly, thank you ( and everyone else reading another man's ) for the immense patience and understanding you give towards me and my slow writing capabilities. as mentioned, i have a lot of love for this series and this makes me very nitpicky about how i write it. if i'm not feeling it, i phyisically can't write in a way that i deem up to my own personal standards and i wound up hating both my writing and the fic. part 3 is coming, and trust me even i'm sick and tired of me saying that and it never actually coming. but it is, i swear. all is well, and that honestly makes me feel a little guiltier about still not having posted ( ok, so everything is not technically well, work has sucked ass for about a month, i've dealt with very serious workplace harrasment and i've also had a lot to deal with when it comes to my educational life but things are mostly fine !! )

the things is i feel bad that i've not posted on this blog in so long ( even worse that i'm managing to post on another fic blog ) , and i feel the need to explain myself a little to ease my own negative feelings towards this fact. as a certified neurodivergent girlie and a proud member of the 'tism gang, i deal with intense hyper-fixation. these hyper-fixations dictate where my attention and motivation lies. house of the dragon was my main hyper-fixation... until the last of us came along and i got reminded how much i love both joel miller and pedro pascal. my hyper-fixation very quickly switched to the tlou, i made a sideblog to post fics and, well, it stole all my attention and motivation away from writing for hotd. i'm slowly trying to get that motivation back, as there's so much i want and have planned to write for hotd. there are so many fics i want to share. but, my brain won't let me without being a bitch about it.

please note that this is an oversimplified, and quite stereotypical, representation of this ASD trait, and the feelings i experience involving hyper-fixations are a lot more intense than just ooh i wanna write for you now.

okay, i'm done rambling and explaining myself.

tldr; thank you for enjoying another man's, pt 3 is coming eventually, i love joel miller and i'm autistic asf <3

[voxofthevoid]

JJK 216: Well, that's a lot less incest (zero incest, in fact) than what the post-leaks internet reaction led me to believe

I don't really avoid leaks or spoilers before I read the chapter over the weekend, so since Wednesday, I've been seeing everything from Reddit posts to wholeass articles on incest-related developments. I assume it's worse over on Twitter because I always assume everything is worse on Twitter.

Then I read the actual chapter and...what incest? There's not even a hint of it. Yorozu and Sukuna seem headed for a bloodbath, and though the two fighting while possessing siblings is extremely interesting in terms of what it'll do to the remnants of Megumi (and Tsumiki, maybe), I don't understand the "lovers in the bodies of siblings" reaction (I saw that caption with my own two eyes). Seriously, this is disappointing for anyone who'd be into the incest angle, and anyone who's outraged is making one hell of a stretch. The genre could take a hard left into hentai and Sukuna and Yorozu could start full-on fucking next chapter, and it still wouldn't be incest. I lost brain cells to this take.

Onto the actual content:

The bath and the protagonists

I'm very curious how long the bath took, plus all the travel time (Kenjaku's Flying Fishmobile seems... efficient at least). The ten months and ten days bit is for the original process, right? How long has Sukuna been in there? Days or just hours? I'm also dying to see the state of Megumi's soul now. I don't think it's the last we've seen of him as himself, but the longer Sukuna is in him, the more it seems to seal Megumi's ultimate fate. That said, jumping right into fighting/killing Tsumiki for good seems like it will backfire on Sukuna. I hope it will. It's been established that Megumi fights back the hardest when his loved ones are in danger, and while killing Tsumiki might destroy his soul (though it would be interesting if his reaction is unhinged rage rather than immediate grief), it also seems like the kind of thing that would make him fight back the hardest. Sukuna versus Yorozu is shaping up to be pivotal to Megumi's character arc, and I am buying popcorn as we speak.

I also wonder if the bath has taken a long enough time that Yuuji and Maki (and Takaba and...maybe the Angel, if she and Hana survived) have regrouped with Yuuta and Hakari + Kashimo. Yuuta's absence in Sendai hints at that, I hope. I don't know whether I want the next chapter to jump right into Sukuna versus Yorozu or pan back to Yuuji and co. dealing with this clusterfuck.

Sukuna's appearance

Sukuna being shown to retain Megumi's appearance on purpose also resolves my confusion about how Yorozu retained Tsumiki's looks. Guess there's more control involved in that whole process than I'd previously assumed. But Megumi's soul is clearly still kicking inside, so does complete eradication of the soul by the incarnated sorcerer forcibly reset the body? In the same vein, is preserving the original soul to some extent needed for the incarnated sorcerer to retain the vessel's appearance? The fight between Sukuna and Yorozu will be more interesting if there's some of Tsumiki left in there, rather than it just being about Megumi and his pain. It's a doomed end for her either way, I think, but at least give her a somewhat active role in this whole mess.

On a related note, I am cackling at how Yorozu apparently found the time to stop and find some makeup. Way to go, buddy. Fight and fall in style. In all seriousness, I do love how that hair and face make Yorozu look quite distinct from Tsumiki while retaining the same base design:

Hello <3

Also, Sukuna's line about preferring Megumi's face strikes me as particularly hilarious. One, damn, dude, you just won't let up on Yuuji, will you? Kenjaku doesn't seem happy. Hurt parental feelings, hurt mad scientist pride, or both? Who knows.

Two, fandom has been theorizing forever that Sukuna's original appearance kind of resembles Yuuji's (and what that may imply with regard to Kaori-Kenjaku's experimentation with fetus!Yuuji and Yuuji's body/bloodline overall), and from that lens, it's like Sukuna's giving himself a little impromptu makeover.

It's also interesting how his answer to Yorozu is so different from the one he gave Kenjaku. The latter is probably the more honest one, while the response to Yorozu is just Sukuna's usual battle persona, but that brings me to:

Sukuna and Kenjaku

I would read a whole arc of just these characters interacting. I low-key want a full-on flashback segment just to see more of OG Kenjaku's interactions with Sukuna (and OG Kenjaku in general).

I love them, your honor. Guess Yuuji inherited his mum's irreverence for Sukuna.

Seriously though, I think this is the most casual/disrespectful anyone other than Yuuji or Gojou has acted toward Sukuna without any consequences. With Gojou, Sukuna was outclassed, and with Yuuji, he seemed to have been biding his time while getting his kicks where he could. I'm dying to see how it will end with these two. Allies or not, I don't see their agendas, whatever the fuck they are, matching up in the long run.

Overall, I'm still not a fan of Megukuna, the plot continues to be extremely compelling, Yorozu is smoking hot, and I'd sell my soul to Kenjaku with the full awareness that it'll backfire on me.

[awritingcaitlin]

10 First Lines

@elbritch-kit tagged me for this a month ago! 👋🏻 Sorrynotsorry I'm late!

Anyway, I've done a couple of these before, but this one's rules is very specifically:

rules: share the first lines of the last ten things you’ve written

So, uh, this should be interesting because fun fact about me, I rewrite the same stuff over and over again.

🔥TBW: Mama Cass normally prided herself on her composure.

🥃LGO: In all honesty, Rinnie was too drunk to remember who hit the bed first.

👩‍🦰RA: “Where are we?” Taryn asked.

🎻ROTG: A Temple of Adelus wasn’t her favorite place for a gig, but considering Em was avoiding Seamus Finn establishments, she’d take what she could get.

💥SB: The wind on Berthingtonn’s eastern docks always seemed to blow far more strongly than it did on the west side.

♟TGG: “Eileen,” Aravae said, trying to put enough warning into her tone that Eileen would get the message, but not so much warning that Finley would pick up on it.

💨WH: “Wind’s howling,” Teagan mutters in her best Geralt impression.

❄CTQ: Two women walked along the busy evening streets of Himmelmauer, their course pointed towards the castle.

🍲AEB: First there is chaos, and then there is cold.

💎TWS: Rinnie is on a beach, but it's not a beach she recognizes. The magic feels different. 

Okay, that actually wasn't too hard to track down all things considered. I feel like elaborating with more stats, so I'll do that under the cut.

But first, I'll tag: @sentfromwolves, @tananaphone, @legiomiam, @mjjune, and @muddshadow (no pressure, anyone!)

The Brewing War: aka Book 1, it's up at the top of the list (most recent) because it's been in steady revisions of it since April. That first line? Totally new.

Lights Go Out: is a character study of Rinnie, Aravae, and Ciara and I was writing it separately from TBW because that content does not actually belong on the pages of TBW, but it's up there because I wrote it in June.

Redheads Abound: is a AU fanfiction essentially combining my characters with characters from 3 others writeblrs on here. Wrote that back in April.

Relic of the Gods: aka ViolinHeist, happens in the same universe as TBW but is not a prequel. It got a few revisions in April, but after rewriting the first three chapters of Draft 3, I set it down to let other stuff percolate in the back of my head.

Siege of Berthingtonn: aka Book 2 got some edits back in March, though that first line is older.

The Great Game: aka Book 4 where I've done bits and pieces of that so that's the first line I've written but it's definitely not Chapter 1 or a prologue even. That was back in March.

Wind's Howling: is a flashfic I wrote back in February. Experimenting with present tense.

Cure for the Queen: aka Book 3. It got finished back in March of 2022. April-August was ROTG Draft 1, August-October was then SB Draft 8, November-February was ROTG again which explains the break and reemphasizes that I just write the same things over and over again.

Soup 2 Another Electric Boogaloo: was something I was working on back in October of 2021 (in between working on CTQ). It was fanfiction of fanfiction and I wrote it primarily while still working at GameStop because I could just write it on my phone.

Team W Shenanigans: was also something I was working on back in the Fall of 2021, same time as AEB. It was fanfiction that Rinnie was also involved in.

Hilariously, Rinnie never seems to get first lines unless it's a character study, or fanfiction. I should probably change that. But also, Rinnie's not really a candidate for the prologues of the main series of books so there's also that.

Okay I'm done rambling now. Have a cookie if you read this far 🍪

[visionofhope04]

Neglected - Part 5

Sorry for the long wait! I just kinda didn’t really know how to make the reader’s and Jason’s conversation go but I got it! This is the last part of the series!!! I’m going to start working on a story based on this headcannon now. By the way, requests are open! Just no smut. Hope you enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 (Current)

---

You had just got home after that long interview. It had taken about 45 minutes and you were exhausted. You didn’t know how you managed to make it through 10 minutes of it. The first few minutes were definitely tense and you knew the press would eat it up. You planned to come clean about your so called family in an interview, but you didn’t plan for it to be the first one ever. You couldn’t control your mouth and the truth just poured out of you. You were glad the interviewer dropped the subject when you asked.

After setting your things down, you dropped onto the couch and lifted your hand above your head. You were staring at the ceiling and contemplating life when your phone rang. You reluctantly hopped off the couch and sprinted to get it. You found it, accepted the call, and then held it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hello Y/N, I just saw your interview. Care to explain why you didn’t tell me about it and Y/G/N?”

“Jason! I’m sorry-”

“Y/N I’m so proud of you." You were so shocked, you almost dropped your phone.

“What? You’re not mad I outed the family?” You said in disbelief.

“No, of course not! Why would I be mad? If anything, I’m glad you did that to them. They deserve it. I'm just a little disappointed you didn't tell me about Y/G/N.”

"Well to be fair it was all over the news."

"Well, I haven't had time to check lately."

“Touche. By the way, how is everyone?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. I only tolerate them for the sake of the city.”

“Oh, okay well- wait, what happens if they find out about what I said?! They’re gonna ruin my image, the career that I literally just started, and practically the rest of my life! I-”

“Woah, calm down, relax. They won’t ruin anything.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“They won’t. Trust me. If they do try anything it will be suspicious. No one would believe them.”

You noticed it had become late and you really wanted to take a nap, so you decided it was time to hang up.

“I love you Jason, thank you for everything. I’m exhausted from that interview and I’d like to get a few hours of sleep in.”

“I love ya too sis, just don’t forget me alright?”

“How could I? I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, don’t forget. Bye."

“Bye.”

Jason hung up and you placed your phone back down. You made your way to your room and gathered (the clothes u sleep with cuz we don’t judge here) and prepared to shower and then finally take a nap.

---

Timothy Drake sat at the desk in his room, working on cases and occasionally sipping the coffee he had made ten minutes prior. It was 4 PM and he had been working nonstop since he got back from patrol. He opened a new tab on his laptop and saw something rather concerning pop up. It was an article titled “THE WAYNES AREN’T WHO YOU THINK THEY ARE…” Tim clicked on the article and began to read.

---

Bruce had been working in his office when suddenly Tim barged through the door. Bruce’s head snapped up in alarm.

“Look at this!” Tim screeched.

“What is it?” Bruce asked as Tim stomped over to his desk and handed him the laptop.

“Y/N…” Bruce grumbled in annoyance. “Can you remove the article or at least hide it?”

“No, it would look too suspicious. It’s already viral and if it suddenly disappeared people would suspect we had something to do with it.”

“Ugh. Inform Dick and Damian about it. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Okay.” Tim agreed as he quickly snatched his laptop from Bruce and ran back to his room.

---

“What!?” Dick Grayson was shocked. Timothy had just filled him in on the whole news incident Y/N had caused. He was furious. How could Y/N do such a thing and not know how badly her words would hurt their reputation! She was just overreacting and now people would believe her lies. “What’s B going to do?”

“I don’t know, he said he’s taking care of it.”

“Alright, I’ll let Damian know.”

---

"What?" Damian said in shock. Dick had called him while he was walking Titus and explained the situation. How and why would you do this to them? Did you not know how badly this would affect them???

"B says he's taking care of it. Don't worry about it much Dami."

That eased his worries a bit. "Okay, goodbye Grayson."

---

You were startled awake by the sound of your phone ringing. Groaning, you got up and went to retrieve your phone. On the way there, you glanced at the clock and noticed the time. You had slept for way longer than you meant to. Assuming it was someone from Y/G/N checking on you, you answered.

“Hello?”

"Y/N, you can't talk about us like that-"

You cut Bruce off. "I can and I will." You then hung up on him.

You felt a sense of pride wash over you. You were proud of how far you've come over the years. Before you wouldn't dare disobey Bruce. But now you had the courage to cut him off and hang up on him! You then blocked his number as well as Dick's, Tim's, and Damian's.

---

For the next few months, they tried to contact you in every way they knew how. Unfortunately for them, you knew exactly how to avoid and ignore them. They tried to cancel you and make the public believe you were lying. That backfired on them due to Jason exposing their lies and confirming that they did in fact neglect you.

Wayne Enterprises' business started to drop by landslides. Not to the point of bankruptcy but to the point where they were no longer in the top 100. The public started to support you more and Y/G/N gained even more popularity. You were so happy about everything and all the support you were receiving.

Alfred had called you one day congratulating you. He apologized for not trying to get to know you and for letting them treat you that way. He asked if you would like to meet up with him sometime and start to get to know each other. You forgave him and agreed to meet up with him.

Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian never bothered you anymore after that and you finally got your happy ending.

---

I DID IT! ITS HERE! IT'S FINISHED! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THIS!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE!!! If you're on the current tag list please let me know if you'd like to be tagged in all of my future DC works since this series is finished or if you'd like to just be tagged in certain works that only involve certain characters. If you want to be tagged in future works of mine please send it through asks.

Tag list: @fake-id-69 @pepelachanel @loxbbg @what-0-life @yoongi-holland @omnivorousfangirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @sexysamsungl @iceddonuts @buginetye @portrait-ninja @azazel-nyx @alculai @whitemanswhore14

[qqueenofhades]

20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus  * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and Blah Blah Blah-

Time for the Group Retreat!

Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

I’m quite hyped for this one, ladies, gents, and esteemed readers! For simplicity’s sake, since this is before M!MC and A!MC arrive, L!MC will go back to being referred to as just MC. Enjoy the Headcanons!

Since the previous Underground Tomb incident ended much less violently, Lucifer is now more worried than angry about MC’s rampant shennaniganery.

Like... his kid was poking holes in his totally foolproof “Your cow-uncle went to live on a farm in the human world” story. What if MC somehow got into the attic and got hurt?!

It didn’t help that they were still in this weird phase of their father/child relationship. On one hand, Lucifer obviously cares for his kid, and his kid likes him... but it’s also only been less than three months and we all know how emotionally constipated Lucifer is.

MC’s also getting REAL sus of all the secrets their dear old dad is keeping... doesn’t help that they STILL haven’t went up into the attic.

Anyhoo~ the announcement for the retreat was a barrel of laughs.

“I’m proposing, a group retreat!”

Everyone met Diavolo’s announcement with the exact same confused reaction. It’s like the entire assembly hall was doing the ‘Guy Blinking’ meme.

“A... group retreat?” Lucifer repeated slowly. “For what reason exactly, Lord Diavolo?”

The Crown Prince was giddy with excitement as he explained. “MC told me about their middle school overnight trip and it sounded like it would be quite fun!”

Simeon, Luke, MC, and Solomon were all seated next to each other in the ‘exchange student seats of less importance’. Luke leaned over and whispered a question to MC.

“Why are you so friendly with the crown prince?”

MC smirked and shrugged. “Lucifer had the Demon-Flu and couldn’t go meet with Lord Diavolo last week so I went for him. Lord Diavolo’s surprisingly bad at Connect Four but has really good luck in Snakes and Ladders.”

Luke’s jaw dropped in complete and utter shock and horror.

“We’re playing CandyLand and the Game of Life next time, want to come?” MC added.

“Play CandyLand... with him..?” Luke looked at Diavolo, who was still explaining his plan for the retreat, then looked back at MC. “I’ll only go to shield you from his corrupting influence.”

“Yeah... Corrupting...” MC had to hold back a laugh at the thought of Diavolo, who during MC’s visit lit up like a Christmas tree upon being called ‘Dia’ and believed that Mood Rings were the greatest human invention ever, being a corrupting influence.

“MC! Torture dungeon or no!?” MC was snapped out of their conversation by Mammon shouting at them from his seat.

“What?”

“Do ya think there’s a torture dungeon under the castle, or not?”

“I’m not sure,” MC turned to Diavolo. “Lord Diavolo, is there a torture dungeon under the Demon Lord’s Castle?”

There is in fact, no torture dungeon. Presumably...

Everyone packed up and headed out to the Demon Lord’s Castle!

The fabulous seven all broke several speed limits and traffic laws in order to be there early. Listen, they had to get there before Purgatory Hall, it was a matter of pride.

Besides, what’s the Royal guard going to do? Arrest six of the seven rulers of hell and a kid? Ha. No. Not when Diavolo controls their paychecks.

The rooming situation remained the same, Asmo, Simeon, and MC were roomed together, and MC got to watch Asmo get psychologically profiled by Simeon. It was truly a sight to behold.

MC was nice enough to assure Asmo that they really liked him and thought he was very sweet.

Asmo, not used to being complimented on his personality, almost started openly weeping.

So, the tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle began! Asmo got yelled at by his ex in the painting and the usual batch of idiots got sucked into the catacombs under the castle.

Lucifer wasn’t terribly sure how or if he should express his concern for MC being stuck in the labyrinth.

All these new fatherly feelings of worry are very very odd. He didn’t worry this much for Satan, mainly because Satan was usually the threat.

Even as a baby...

Lucifer found himself checking his DDD every few minutes to see if MC had texted or called from wherever the painting dragged them to, never mind that if they did text he’d hear the phone ding.

“Lucifer, don’t worry too much,” Diavolo patted Lucifer on the shoulder, a bright smile on his face. “Your brothers and MC will be perfectly fine! There’s nothing too dangerous in the catacombs that they wouldn’t be able to take care of.”

Resigning himself to the fact that MC was under the care of his last choices for babysitting, Lucifer put away his DDD. “I know they’ll be fine, but I’m not overly pleased with the situation.” He shot a glare at Helene in the portrait, who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Lucifer worrying about someone, I’m truly, genuinely shocked.” Hearing Satan’s attempt at goading him, Lucifer, flawless demon that he is, resisted the urge to throw his DDD at his brother.

“Quiet, Satan.”

————

“WHY THE FUCK IS A SNAKE DOWN HERE?!”

“ITS HENRY 1.0!”

“YEAH THAT REALLY CLEARS STUFF UP, LEVI!”

MC and Levi continued their screaming match as the group ran for dear life from a giant snake.

Yeah... nothing the brothers couldn’t handle... sure, Lord Diavolo...

They made it out of the scary catacombs... don’t worry.

Lucifer did that parent-thing where he cleaned the catacomb dust off MC’s face with a napkin.

Yay! Parenting!

Failed pillow fight attempt #1 happened that evening. Because Mammon was obsessed with being the fun-uncle and saw his brothers encroaching on his place as favourite uncle.

MC doesn’t know how to break it to him that he’ll probably always be the favourite uncle and he doesn’t have to be such a dumbass to keep his spot.

Scavenger hunt went on as canon dictates.

Asmo had his diva tantrum and stormed off, but MC also wanted to win so they didn’t go after him.

Clearly expecting someone to go beg him to come back, Asmo was very annoyed when no one went after him.

“Um, helloooo? Anyone going to comfort me~?”

“Nope.”

“Well I don’t want your comfort anyway, SOLOMON.”

It was very close, L!MC insisted their loss came from sabotage. No evidence was found but just LOOK at Satan’s face.

Time for the Formal Dance~

If you’re wondering why Luke didn’t say anything when MC was suddenly poofed into their demon form, you’re assuming that Mammon wasn’t in on the “let’s prank the chihuahua” plan.

“Mammon..? Is MC behind you?”

“Nope! Why?”

MC was able to get to the other side of the ballroom with Luke none the wiser! Hell yeah, nothing like screwing with your friend!

So it’s canon that Lucifer is like, a solid 20/10, therefore MC is ADORABLE. What I’m saying is, some of the younger demons asked them to dance.

Asmo was also being MC’s hype man, which was very nice of him. Mammon also tried to give advice on how to be cool and suave. Beel was there for moral support.

“Alright kiddo, you need to be aloof and mysterious! People love aloof and mysterious, that’s why I’m so popular.”

“Don’t listen to him, MC. He flew into a wall as a kid and it killed all his brain cells. Just be proper but not snooty, sweet but not saccharine, friendly but not annoying,”

“Ask them if they want to share some of the hors d’oeuvres.” 

“Okay, first, aloof and mysterious are the last words I would ever use to describe you, Mammon. Second, Asmo I have no clue what you’re asking me to do. Third... Beel that’s the best advice I’ve received in recent memory.”

None of that mattered anyway because MC got swarmed with dance offers.

“Well,” MC smirked and held out their hand at the demon that was bold enough to ask them to dance first. “I admire the confidence.”

The demon’s smile brightened, then dropped completely when their gaze drifted behind MC. “I uh... on second thought... I’m gonna...”

MC’s potential dance partners all quickly scattered to the snack table. The half demon growled and turned around to see their father acting like he didn’t just scare away MC’s groupies.

“Father! What was that for?!” MC huffed, Lucifer rolled his eyes and grabbed MC’s wrist and began to pull them away from the dance floor.

“You’re too young to dance.”

“That’s crazy! They looked like they were my age.” MC protested, their wings fluttering in annoyance.

“Even if they looked to be your age, MC, they’re hundreds of years older.” Lucifer said calmly.

“What about that equivalent age stuff you told me about? Like how Luke is hundreds of years old but by angel/human standards he’s technically younger than me?”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Lucifer lightly pushed MC towards the hallway that led back to their room.

“But I want to dance with someone!” MC felt their wings involuntarily fluff up.

Lucifer turned and smiled at his dear little brat, crouching slightly to get to their level. “Not on my watch.”

MC’s face was literally this: >:0

Lucifer is out here being the dad in every comedy that involves someone bringing home their partner to meet their parents.

MC was banished to their room, they spent their time angrily reading the manga they had packed.

When Levi escaped the party slightly later MC grilled him for details of what went on after they left.

“Nothing too interesting... except... um...”

“Spit it out, Levi!”

“...lrddiavlondlucferdnced”

“I can’t understand you, stop mumbling.”

“Lord Diavolo and Lucifer danced together...”

“...”

“...”

“I MISSED THAT?!”

So yes, MC’s desire to get a picture of Lucifer sleeping stems from VENGEANCE!

How DARE their father send MC up to their room and make them miss their OTP dancing together!?

So they call up their troupe of idiots and get ready to go be menaces to society.

MC also invites along Asmo because he seemed like he could use the adventure.

And because MC couldn’t plan the prank without Asmo noticing so it was better to just implicate him as well...

“Grrr...”

MC brightened and clapped their hands. “I know that growl!”

“It’s not my stomach, I packed snacks.” MC couldn’t see this, considering the room was pitch black (it must’ve been some kind of magic because demons have excellent night vision), but Beel waved a bag of chips in the air and got to eating.

“No, I’m not talking about your stomach, Beel.” MC skipped towards the source of the growling despite Mammon and Levi’s pleas for them to stop.

Ah! There he was!

“Cerberus!” MC cooed, the three headed dog stopped growling and barked happily. “Whose a good boy? Is it you?”

Cerberus let lose a bark that would probably make anyone crap their pants, but MC giggled and kept petting him. “Yeah! You’re the good boy! You like cuddles! Yes you do! Yes you do!”

A flash of light from a camera caused MC to drop their baby talk voice and stare angrily in the direction where the light came from.

“Whoever took that picture better delete it or I’m going to feed you to the dog.”

Cerberus growled in agreement. What a good boy.

“Well, as nice as this is...” Asmo huffed. “We’ve clearly been duped because this is not Lucifer and Diavolo’s room.”

“Oh well!” MC chirped and continued to pet the three headed dog. “Look at the doggy!”

“MC, you’re crazy. Dontcha ever forget that.” Mammon whimpered as Cerberus growled at him.

So yeah, they couldn’t get out of the room, so they ended up opening up the other door and falling into the catacombs like a bunch of lemmings.

Asmo charmed Henry, and they got out of the labyrinth no problem.

Yay! No consequences! Oh no- hi Lucifer.

Lucifer gave them all the mother of all lectures. Satan showed up with the rest of the gang and brought popcorn.

Belphie wasn’t there, okay? Satan needed to be a little shit for him.

Ah yes, the pillow fight... Mammon’s crusade to be the best uncle culminated in a massive pillow fight that ended with MC, Lucifer, and Diavolo standing over everyone’s unconscious bodies.

So they uh... won the pillow fight.

MC couldn’t sleep. They legitimately couldn’t. As exhausting as the pillow fight victory had been, everyone was snoring, and MC was bleary eyed and awake at one in the morning.

They eventually sat up and looked around, Asmo was passed out in a very unflattering position, Solomon was chanting god knows what in his sleep, Levi was half hanging off Simeon’s bed, Simeon and Luke were sleeping like angels (hehehehe-), Beel was in the middle of eating his pillow in his sleep, Mammon appeared to be dreaming about winning the lottery, and Satan was... suspiciously absent.

He was there a minute ago... weird.

Deciding that this wasn’t worth it and they should just go sleep somewhere else, MC got out of bed and avoided stepping on anyone as they vacated the room.

The Demon Lord’s Castle at night could rival the House of Lamentation in terms of overall creepiness. MC had gotten used to the spirits and curses that littered their home, but they had only been to the Demon Lord’s Castle once before, so they were extra careful not to accidentally touch anything. Their stomach rumbled and they frowned.

Damn, they had the midnight munchies... they needed a snack.

MC made their way to the kitchen and on there way, noticed a peculiar room through a half open door. Taking a few steps back to peek into it, they noticed... doors. A lot of doors. And ivy covered steps. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to any of the placements, and the room was... weirdly chilly.

“You can come in if you’d like, MC.”

Barbatos’ voice nearly caused MC to hit a high note that they hadn’t been able to hit since their voice began to change. They straightened out their wrinkled pyjamas and stepped inside.

The butler himself was walking down one of the flights of stairs.

“Um...” Quickly remembering their manners, MC straightened their posture and cleared their throat. “Good evening Barbatos.”

Barbatos smiled and inclined his head in turn. “Good evening to you as well, MC.”

“How did you know it was me outside? You were up there a second ago.” MC asked.

“It’s a part of my powers. I can see possible futures, and I foresaw you passing by my room and getting curious.” Barbatos explained.

“Oh,” MC said, half nodding and continuing to look around. A the sound of a door closing out of MC’s vision made them squeak and look around for the source of the noise. “What was that?!”

“It’s nothing to be worried about.” Barbatos raised his hands in a placating gesture. “These doors in my room are gateways to different timelines and some are gateways into the past of this particular timeline. That was another version of me passing by.”

“Does this... happen often?” MC knitted their eyebrows.

Barbatos hesitated before answering. “Not really. It’s quite rare. Lord Diavolo has expressly forbidden me from using my full powers freely.”

“Ah... makes sense...”

“Now, I believe you came down for snacks?”

MC blinked in surprise. “How did you- oh... the time magic...”

“Yes, the time magic. Now, would you prefer yogurt and fruit, or apples and peanut butter?”

“Yogurt and fruit please!”

I’m sure MC’s knowledge of how Barbie’s room works will totally not come into play later. I’m sure.

Solomon and MC graced the brunch table with their cooking. I think you can guess how it would have turned out if Barbatos hadn’t intervened.

Rest In Peace to Beel’s tastebuds.

Anyway, the rest of the retreat was all fun and good.

MC may or may not have slipped up and called Diavolo ‘Dia’ in front of Lucifer. It would’ve sparked a lecture if Dia’s puppy-like excitement wasn’t so damn adorable.

Lucifer’s got a heart... somewhere... it’s probably all shrivelled up and tiny, but I’m sure it’s there.

Everyone went back home, brought closer together through... pillow fights and surviving Solomon’s cooking I guess..?

Anyway, MC got home, unpacked their stuff, watched Kakegurui with Levi and Mammon, let Asmo paint their nails, made and ate dinner with Beel, continued their piano lessons with Lucifer, and received a 100% fake smile from Satan.

It was a nice day with their new family, MC curled up in their bed and prepared to go to sleep.

“Help me!”

MC lurched upwards in their bed, whipping their head from side to side, trying to find the source of the voice. Their room was completely empty, the perks of being half demon extended to being able to see in the dark. No new smells either, they were alone in the room.

Auditory hallucinations were common before falling asleep after being sleep deprived, creepy, but not too unusual.

“MC!”

Okay- that one couldn’t be ignored. It was common knowledge that the House of Lamentation was definitely haunted in some capacity, but the ghosts never really bothered the demons living inside, MC was partly convinced that some of the ghosts didn’t even notice that the demons were there. So it couldn’t have been a ghost calling their name.

“MC! I need help!”

The voice reverberated through their head, like it was trying to hit every part of their skull to make sure it was at least felt if MC couldn’t hear it. MC massaged their scalp and got out of bed.

The House of Lamentation at night truly lived up to its haunted reputation. Cold, clammy, dark, even by demon standards. No spooky old house was going to scare MC though, they walked down the hall with their head held high.

They walked closer to walls and furniture, knowing that the floor was less likely to creak in those areas. How did they know that? Mammon had told them it worked like a charm. Well, it’d work better for him if he stopped tripping over the furniture and alerting Lucifer.

MC was much more nimble and careful, stepping slowly and lightly around the hallways until they reached the door to the attic. They reached out to clasp their hand around the doorknob, then froze. It smelled like…

Oh no.

MC leapt away from the door like it was rigged to explode if they touched it and practically dove for cover into an alcove. The all too-recent smell of Lucifer’s fancy cologne and the increasing sound of someone coming down the stairs made them clamp their hand over their mouth and crouch down.

What was their father doing up there?

He had said the attic was full of old junk and there was no reason to go up there, so why exactly did he-

The door slammed open and Lucifer stomped down the hallway back towards his room, MC presumed. They were about to let out a sigh of relief when the footsteps paused. MC felt their heart drop right into their gut when they heard the footsteps coming back in their direction.

What were they going to say to him when he found them? ‘Sorry! This isn’t where the bathrooms are!’ The last thing MC wanted was to add to their father’s ever growing list of stresses. MC was totally responsible and grown-up, their father didn’t need to worry.

MC clamped their eyes shut and tried to slow their heart rate. Demons were beings of darkness and shadow, they could blend in quite easily. They took a deep breath, cleared their head, and felt the shadows of the hallway shift and cover them like a blanket.

Lucifer’s footsteps stopped, MC heard a tired sigh, then the footsteps started up again, this time in the direction of his room.

They allowed themselves a sigh of relief before relieving themselves of their hiding space and opening the door leading to the attic staircase.

If the rest of the House of Lamentation was considered clammy, cold, and foreboding, the attic staircase was that multiplied by a factor of twelve. MC felt themselves shudder involuntarily when they stepped closer to the staircase. Every primal part of their brain was telling them to turn around and walk away, but one tiny part was holding them back. They placed their foot on the first step, waiting for any kind of resistance, nothing other than the feeling of passing through invisible cobwebs.

“MC?”

Upon hearing their name, MC craned their neck to try and get a look at what could be waiting for them at the top of the stairs.

“Are you coming, or not?”

The cascade of warning sirens that began to blare in MC’s head went ignored as they continued to scale the staircase.

When they reached the final step, they were met with a long hallway, with a single door on the right side of the wall.

“H-hello?” MC tried to instill some force into their voice, but it still ended up quavering a little.

“Down here.” Someone knocked on the wall next to the door, almost causing MC to jump.

Oh. Oh no. MC stood straight in front of the door, and when they saw who was looking back at them they nearly passed out.

“Belphegor..?”

Belphegor’s eyes flashed as he gave MC a once over. His eyes narrowed when his gaze snapped to MC’s. The analytical expression melted into a lazy grin.

“That’s me,” he said softly. “Nice to finally meet you, MC.”

[cuddles-and-kisses]

So The Cat's Out Of The Bag,,,

Another fanfic for Agapito (an OC that belongs to @yandereaffections) The story starts under the cut. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,908 Trigger Warnings: Subtle yandereness, I can't think of any others

It’s 11 pm. I’ve been avoiding schoolwork all day and I’m in no rush to fix it. I've been writing fanfiction, of sorts, for the past 3 hours. On the bright side, the first draft is done! My back hurts from sitting so long while my butt hurts because I’ve sat on a wooden stool this long. I need to take a break but what to do? Oh, what to do? My weekly planner is wide open on a bookstand to my right. I could be productive, or I could keep avoiding them... So the planner is closed now. I’ve reorganized pens in a pen cup for the seventh time. Is there a limit to how many times a person can adjust a desk lamp before going insane? There has to be something else to do but what? As if on cue, my phone lights up with a text from my Baby. We’ve been official for 6 months so our dates are a lot more casual nowadays.

“Angel, I want attention. Unlock the back door” I’m aware it doesn’t seem like it but this is how he asks to come over. He won’t come over until I respond giving the green light. “Bold of you to assume I’m home and not partying at a random frat house” We both know I’m not doing jack at 11 pm on a Friday. Nonetheless, it’s fun to pretend I have a flourishing social life. “That’s cute. Back door please” Alright, now to get up and- ow, fuck, ouchie, ok, hold on. *POP* There we go!

I should probably pick my room up real quick. I made my bed earlier today so that’s not a problem. The svallerup rug from Ikea collects dirt a lot faster than I expected. Although would he really notice? It’s not bright in here. My dresser by the door looks fine. The futon is in couch mode, so there’s not much left I don’t have to clean up for him. In reality, I’m not cleaning for him, I just like having a clean room. The last thing I do is turn on the fairy lights above my head then light a vanilla candle. I know he’s coming over to cuddle or really do anything involving him getting affection. I might as well make my bedroom reflect that, right?

I half-jog upstairs to unlock our back door. Why the back door? It’s not because I love Jesus. Let me explain. The living room floor creaks way too loud. Also, my parent’s bedroom is right next to that door. The side door alerts our dogs to start pitching a fit. How can they hear it from the opposite side of our house? I may never be able to understand. Moonlight drifts halfway across the backroom. Sparse nightlights cover the remaining needed light. I flick on the backdoor lights followed by opening a few blinds to let more light in. Their orange glow overpowers the moonlight near the backdoor.

For whatever reason, the moon is far brighter tonight. Or my pupils are hella dilated because I’m thinking about my Baby. Either way, moonlight dusts over parts of the backroom and kitchen ahead of me. One last light to turn on. An LED light above our kitchen sink smashes through most surrounding darkness, making it almost impossible to see into the living room. White cabinets outline our kitchen. None of the cabinets match each other in this house. It’s as if this house was built in parts instead of planned out from the start. The counter is occupied with things you’d expect; a bread box, knife set, fruit basket, coffee pot, and an air fryer. Yet, there's evidence real people live here. Crumbs from a snack, mail by the fruit basket, half-empty coffee pot, as well as children’s toys forgotten all about

Everyone else is snuggled up in warm beds, sleeping. I can pick out each person’s snoring pattern when they poke through tonight’s ambiance. There are moments where quiet feels like serenity, others where it feels like emptiness. I can’t decide which one I’m feeling because I realize I’m about to have a visitor. A cup of coffee sounds like the perfect way to waste a few minutes while waiting for my lover.

Coffee cup out of the overhead cabinet. A coffee spoon from beside the coffee pot. Fake sugar off the shelves. Room temperature coffee in the pot from this morning. French vanilla coffee creamer out of the fridge. And just like that, a proper cup of coffee is served. Light reflects off the glossy coating painted over our pale coffee cups. Mom considers it a priority to have everything match or look cohesive. Appearing put together is a source of pride for her. A cup is a cup however matching cups make her happy. My ears perk up at hearing his tires pulling into the driveway. My coffee creamer swirls in the cup as he walks up the driveway. The coffee spoon clings against the inside of my coffee cup simultaneously with the creak of our back gate. All that’s left is to wash off this week’s coffee spoon then put it back. I have only a few more seconds until my Love is with me again. I’m a sappy and hopeful romantic for him, get off my back. He’s learned how to silently open the back door and if I didn’t have good peripheral vision, I would’ve yelped.

Intimate hands snake around my hips as a tender kiss is pressed against my neck. I can feel the tender smile tugging at his lips after the kiss, he had a really good day? His body is pressed against mine as he murmurs “Honey, I’m home~” behind my ear; earning a soft chuckle from me. I turn to face him, wrap my arms around his neck, and greet him with a deep kiss. This time on the lips. “Welcome home, my Love.” He’s so close to me, I can smell the cigarette he had on his way over here. The absence of alcohol or weed stench affirms he didn’t have a bad day at work. I can’t wait until these interactions become a daily occurrence. This man is breathtaking under normal circumstances; but, under the glimmer of moonlight,,, I can’t form a single thought while looking at him. The raw admiration and love this man holds in his eyes? Who could stand a chance against him? Not me. Wrong choice.

His hands linger along the sides of my hips. I hold his arms in an attempt to keep him close to me, just a little longer. “I brought you a few things. I’ll go set them on your desk.” He knows gifts aren’t my thing in spite of that he claims I deserve the entire universe. I breathed out, “Ok, I’ll be down in a minute,” then started moving to get my coffee cup, as well as a few snacks to bring downstairs. He starts heading downstairs content with how flustered I am. WAIT A FLUFFING MINUTE THE FANFICTION IS ABOUT HIM!! I whisper yell ‘Baby’ until his head pops back around the corner. I threaten him to not touch or look at my laptop. It was a pathetic attempt considering what he does for a living. In my defense, I tried. I forgot he’s in essence an overgrown teenager who will do the exact opposite of what he’s told. Wanna know what he does? Grin. I’m so fucked.

Agapito dashes downstairs and leaves me in unadulterated fear. I’m frozen in place, trying to come to terms with my fate as his footsteps fade. It’s not smut or anything, just a simple night and morning routine imagining that we lived together. This is going to be so embarrassing. Please spare me this treacherous fate and undying embarrassment. Deep breaths, just take deep breaths. Get your coffee then snacks then, simply, accept what’s just happened.

With arms full of snacks, I shut my bedroom door as gingerly as I can. Setting the cup on the dresser right by the door to make this a little easier. He’s standing at my computer, reading through the last page. Oh hey, he brought me Rolo’s as well as 3 Musketeers. Nice! Oh wait, he’s done reading. His shoulders aren’t tense; his breathing hasn’t changed; all the same, he’s just standing there. “Why did you write this out instead of doing it?” That’s a good question tbh. My Baby’s voice sounds hurt, despite that, he’s trying to hide it. Ok, he needs a hug. Now to throw the snack on the bed. He needs a rib-crushing hug and you bet your butt I’ll be the one to deliver. I tug at his elbow so he’ll face me then pull him into me. His shoulders are right under my chin when we’re facing each other. I bury my face in his neck while my arms hug him as tight as I can. Except why is he upset about this?

His love for me is nothing to scoff at. He loves me the same way he wanted to be loved when he was younger. We’ve figured out he’s catching up from his pre-teen years and onward. So about 13 years without a stable romantic relationship. When he was trying to court me I had to call him out all the time for manipulation. I know he’s terrified I’ll think he’s not good enough. He has episodes of frantic attempts to meet all of my needs, even if it’s not asked for or needed. What is going through his head? Does he feel like he’s not good enough? That he’s not loving me enough so I have to turn to a fictional version of him? Does he think he’s not good enough for me to do this stuff with him? None of those are true, obviously. I explicitly stated that in the story he just read. It doesn’t mean he won’t get stuck inside his head. I need to tell him the truth. Even if I wanted to lie, I couldn’t, he’s a finely-tuned human lie detector. One more deep breath. Squeeze him a little tighter. Look him in his eyes and come clean.

“The reason I didn’t just act these out is because, I didn’t know how to ask for it.” His expression shifts from confused hurt to understanding. I start rambling, “I want to have these experiences with you. I’d give anything to have that life with you but we've only been dating for 6 months and I just, wasn’t sure, how to phrase it.” I’m choking on my own pulse from emotions. I realize I was shifting my weight left to right when he pulls me in for another hug and kisses my forehead. We stand there in each other’s embrace for a few moments before he suggests I come to his house tomorrow night. We both know what he’s suggesting. I can’t help but adamantly agree. Excitement zips through my body thinking about tomorrow night. A smile pulls at my lips as I ask, “Do you mind if I wear this shirt tomorrow night?”

Tonight is about Netflix, snacks, and rediscovering the curves and contours of each other’s bodies. Though, not before I mess up his hair while calling him a butthead. It’s evident his insecurities are still tugging at him. Funny enough, his insecurities forgot they’re fighting against me for his attention.

[hotpinkhoshi]

devour (m)

pairing: human!baekhyun x vampire!reader (f) genre: smut, paranormal warnings: mentions of blood, pain, monsters etc, explicit sex involving some slight dom/sub themes but not really. a lot of position switching, oral (m receiving), cursing  word count: 6.6k summary: you’re thirsty. so damn thirsty. and baekhyun is the only one that can give you what you want. it’s the last time, really the last time, you tell yourself.  a/n: hello my lovely amazing readers! thank you so much for being so patient with me these last several months, i know i haven’t been very consistent with my posting BUT i promise i’m trying. i started this piece about 3 weeks ago and my only goal was to finish it by the end of the month. thankfully i just barely finished in time! i hope you enjoy but first, a disclaimer: i haven’t read or watched anything about vampires in many years so i know there may be things that don’t technically make sense. vampire enthusiasts pls do not come for me, i did my best.  thanks to: all my followers, @jjinyounf for discussing vampire reproductive systems, & @flowerbeom​ and @jjpmoans​ for hyping me up and giving me love and encouragement whenever i need it, which is a lot!

Last time, you told yourself it was the last time. 

The last time you let Baekhyun into your apartment at half past three in the morning, so out of your mind starving that you could hardly even see straight. The last time you let him take you, command your body like it was no longer your own.

You should have known you were lying to yourself. 

You [3:28am]: are you up?

Baek [3:29am]: yea, why?

You [3:31am]: can you come over? 

After your last message, you got no response. Perhaps, you thought, he’d fallen asleep or worse, had no interest in being your blood bag for the night. You would be disappointed, but you wouldn’t blame him. 

You rolled over in bed, flopping onto your stomach as you buried your face into your pillow. Maybe you could simply push through and wait until morning, when Kyungsoo would be awake and able to help you. 

After you turned a few months ago, totally unexpectedly, it had flipped your world upside down. Kyungsoo found you, shivering and delirious by a dumpster where your fun little one night stand had left you. 

Kyungsoo was human, but he was the type of person that people trusted and allowed into their worlds, no matter who they were. As one of the general surgeons of the local hospital, he’d gotten himself into a position of substantial power over both the humans and the vampires of your city. He never used it as a weapon—only as leverage to keep the humans safe.

When he found you, he’d wrapped you in his jacket and carried you to his apartment, but you didn’t remember anything until many days later. Kyungsoo nursed you to health, providing you with a vampire crash course to prepare you for the rest of your life. Of eternity. 

Then he’d introduced you to some of his friends at a party after you were more comfortable, although you had yet to feed on a living human. There was a whole community of humans that got off on it, that lived for the pain and pleasure of letting a vampire feed on them. 

It was at this party that you met Baekhyun. He had a mischievous glint in his eye when Kyungsoo told him your name and left the two of you alone in the dimly lit, smoky club basement. Something about that look in Baekhyun’s eyes told you he knew you’d be his by the end of the night. 

The feeling, the taste, the pure ecstasy of finally consuming fresh blood was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, even when you were alive. Your senses were heightened as a vampire as it was, but as soon as his blood hit your tongue, it was like your world exploded into a million colors. 

But even though you’d been the monster drinking his blood, Baekhyun remained in control. He laid you out on his bed and pinned your wrists to the mattress with one hand, his other wrist pressed into your mouth as he forced you to feed. 

You whimpered and cried out when it was too much, when the overstimulation of his blood and the way he was rocking into you at a brutally rhythmic pace had you seeing stars. He never relented; only fucked you harder as you writhed under him. 

After that night, you never wanted anyone else. Baekhyun was the only man you wanted to feed from. With him, you didn’t feel like a monster. You didn’t feel like a thing, like a horror story to tell in the dark. 

He made you feel human again. 

Tonight, the thirst was too much to handle. It was clouding your mind and keeping you awake as you twisted and turned under the covers. You couldn’t tell if you were craving his blood or craving him, but you were too weak to care. 

You hated the thirst. It was like dehydration, tenfold. Your head hurt, your lips were dry no matter how many times you wet them, and all you could think about was warm blood sliding down your throat. It was maddening. 

The telltale sound of your apartment’s buzzer had you sitting up in bed, so quickly that it made your head spin, the noise signaling that you had a visitor down at the main entrance to your building. 

You scurried off the bed and hurried to the door, nearly running into it as you slid on the hardwood in your socks to let him in. You told yourself the eagerness to see him was only because you were thirsty, certainly nothing more.

As soon as you opened the door, you felt embarrassingly underdressed. 

Baekhyun had dyed his hair since you’d last seen him. It was now a silver blonde, perfectly messy and framing his stupidly beautiful features. He’d been out tonight, you realized. The glitter on his cheekbones gave it away. 

His hands were stuffed comfortably in the pockets of his leather jacket with a faded graphic tee underneath, and expertly tailored black jeans practically painted onto his lower half. 

You tugged the hem of your T-shirt down, even though he’d already had you in positions that you hadn’t even thought were physically possible—vampire or not. For some reason, you still felt bare in front of him in your pajama shorts and oversized tee.

“Hmm,” Baekhyun hummed as he stepped inside, letting the heavy door close behind him. He smelled like smoke and rum. “Look at you. Is someone thirsty?”

You blinked, grateful that you were incapable of blushing. As ravenous and desperate for blood as you were, the way he looked you up and down made you feel small and shy. 

“Can I?” you asked, reaching for his wrist, half tucked into the pocket of his jacket. 

“Uh-uh.” He stepped back just before your fingers brushed his skin. “You know that’s not how it works, baby. You still need to work for it.” 

If you wanted to, you could muster your strength and slam him into the door, dive for his neck and bleed him dry before he even realized what was happening. But you didn’t. You wanted this, you wanted to beg and plead until finally, he rewarded you. 

“Baekhyun,” you whispered, then dragged your tongue over the dry, cracking skin of your lips. “I’m so thirsty. I’ll do whatever you want.” 

He seemed pleased by this, judging by the way his lips turned into a familiar smirk. “I know you will. Come on, let’s go sit down.” 

You followed him to the living room obediently, watching as he made himself comfortable on the couch. He shrugged his jacket off, revealing the expanse of his forearms down to his wrists, covered in bite marks in various stages of healing. 

All from you. 

If he had chosen to get his fix somewhere else, you wouldn’t have any reason to be envious or hurt. But it filled you with a sense of pride that he didn’t, that you were the only one he allowed to taste him. 

You moved to sit next to him, but Baekhyun stopped you. He took your hand, leading you to stand in between his parted legs. 

“Knees.” 

It took one word for you to drop to the carpet, your bare knees pressing into the old scratchy shag rug you’d had for ages. He kept your fingers in his palm, rubbing his thumb idly over the back of your hand. 

“Good girl.” With his other hand, he tucked your hair behind your ear, his wrist brushing against your cheek so that you could hear the pulse beneath his skin. 

“Baek…” you began, turning slightly until your nose brushed his skin. “Just a taste. Please.”

Baekhyun lifted your chin with his finger and locked eyes with you. You filled with warmth already, just one look enough to send your mind racing with images of everything you wanted from him. His blood was further down the list than you would have thought.

“Just a taste,” he repeated. 

With that, he let go of your hand and turned slightly to reach into the pocket of his discarded jacket. When he pulled out the shiny folded metal, you gulped hungrily. 

The pocketknife brandished with a metallic click. 

It wasn’t uncommon for humans to carry weapons these days. After all, vampires weren’t the only monsters that roamed the streets after dusk, and not all vampires were quite as friendly with humans as you were. 

Your eyes followed Baekhyun’s nimble fingers as he brought the very end of his knife to his middle finger, twisting the point into his fingertip until a spot of blood appeared. 

It took every bit of self control that you possessed not to reach out in desperation for his hand and bring it to your mouth. But you knew better—you knew if you broke, Baekhyun would stand up and walk out the door like you were less than nothing to him. 

He watched you with interest as he held his finger just out of your reach, eyes dancing with that mischievous stare he had when he teased you. You would despise it if you didn’t know that eventually, he always caved. 

Finally, when your mouth had gone dry and you could feel the warm tingle that meant your fangs were about to protrude, Baekhyun brought his index and middle fingers to your mouth. 

He slipped them past the parched skin of your lips, your entire world blooming as soon as his middle finger touched the center of your tongue. You moaned, eyes falling shut. 

“Look how needy you are,” he remarked after a beat. His voice was strained, though, as if watching your display of bliss was causing him physical pain. 

He let you go for a while, maybe half a minute, before he was removing his fingers from your mouth. You couldn’t help but whine, resisting every urge not to grab at his wrist to keep him there. 

With the small amount of his blood you’d been able to milk from his finger, you already felt renewed. A surge of energy coursed through you like you’d just been injected with adrenaline. 

“What do you say?” Baekhyun asked with a cocked brow. 

You swallowed, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. “Thank you.” 

Without a second thought, you reached for Baekhyun’s belt, fingers quickly undoing the metal buckle. Your ears picked up the quickening of his heartbeat from the moment you undid the button of his pants. 

It was no surprise that most vampire-human relationships, if not ending in death, ended in sex. Feeding, in your experience, was extremely sensual and instantly created feelings of arousal within both parties. It was almost better than sex, and when the two came together? It was euphoric. 

You were pleased to find him half-hard already by the time you got his zipper down, your hand wrapping around the length of him under the fabric of his briefs. Baekhyun inhaled sharply, holding his breath until you had pulled his cock from his underwear. 

Only a few seconds passed before you leaned forward, parting your lips to run your tongue along the underside of his member. Your eyes remained open, locked on Baekhyun’s face to gauge his reaction. 

He loved it, of course. 

With a groan, he tipped his head back, exposing his throat and sending a shockwave to your core. You wanted his throat, his neck, all of that fresh, warm blood pumping beneath his skin. But you wanted to taste it while he was inside of you. It would be worth the wait. 

Your eyes fell shut as you took his length into your mouth, deeper and deeper with each stroke until he hit the back of your throat. Unlike men you’d been with when you were human, Baekhyun made no effort to remain quiet. He was loud, and you loved it. 

If you had your way, all of your days would be filled with Baekhyun’s voice. His moans, his rough whispers in your ear, his laugh, his hums as he completed mundane tasks like wiping down the counters or tying his shoes. Deep down, you wanted it all.

“Good girl, that’s my girl,” he whispered, reaching forward to lace his fingers in your hair. He curled his hand into a tight fist, a deliciously sharp pain spreading across your scalp. 

You whimpered, lips wrapped tight and wet around him. He guided you back and forth for a while with his hand in your hair, muttering soft praises all the while. By the way his hips were twitching towards your face, you knew he was getting lost in the ministrations of your mouth. 

Baekhyun soon dropped his hand from your hair, signaling you to pull away, just in time for him to stand up and pull you to your feet. 

A squeak of surprise fell from your lips as he lifted you, hooking your legs around his waist in a simple, swift movement.

“Bed,” he said simply. 

Baekhyun carried you through your apartment as if it was his own, lips kissing and nipping at your neck as he dodged every obstacle between the two of you and the bedroom. He stopped once, in the hallway, to lean you into wall and roll his hips into your center. 

His name came out as a sigh. 

Then, finally, he dropped you onto the center of your bed. It was messy from your previous tossing around in the sheets from your thirst, but neither of you cared. Baekhyun reached for the comforter, knotted and piled together under your lower back, and easily tossed it off the bed to leave nothing but the sheets under you. 

He stood at the foot of the bed, chest heaving up and down, and ran his fingers through his hair. The look in his eyes had you squirming, ready for him to devour you in every way possible. 

“Are you still thirsty, baby?” 

Your heart clenched at the pet name, even though he always called you that, loving the way it sounded on his lips. You gulped, nodding as you batted your eyelashes. 

“Yes,” you admitted. 

“Take off your clothes,” he told you, hands reaching for his jeans, still unbuttoned, to push them down his legs. 

It took less than a second for you to obey, clutching the waistband of your shorts and shoving them off of you. You knew he liked when you kept your underwear on, just so he could use it to further torture you by keeping a layer between you. 

You slipped your thin T-shirt off, throwing it to the side and laying back into the mattress again. Baekhyun had removed his own shirt, leaving just his briefs from letting you see all of him. 

You could marvel at his body for hours—he was slender, but solid. He wasn’t much taller than you, but his shoulders were broad enough to make you feel protected in those rare moments when he held you in his arms. 

This time, though, you noticed something new. There was a handful of bruises and scratches marring his body, completely different from the puncture marks that your fangs left when you fed on him. Blinking, you furrowed your eyebrows, fingers reaching out. 

“What are-”

“No questions,” Baekhyun cut you off, reaching for your hands before they could reach their destination. His face softened, ever so slightly, when you quickly retreated, curling your hands up near your own chest. “We’re not here to talk, are we, baby?”

Just like that, he made you forget the suspicious marks on his chest, even one slash that looked particularly painful. Almost like he’d been cut by a knife.  

Watching the way he licked his lips as his eyes traveled down your body, slowly, so slowly, you were easily steered back to the task at hand. You dropped your hands to the sheets, digging your nails into the fabric as he overwhelmed each of your senses. 

Even from here, you could smell his blood. From here, you could hear the steady, strong beat of his heart, taste the alcohol and nicotine of his kiss. Your body was calling out to him and you weren’t sure how much longer you could deny what it needed. 

“Baekhyun,” you found yourself whining, hips squirming under his hungry gaze. 

His eyes snapped up to your face then, so much desire and pure lust in his stare that you felt a brand new surge of heat travel through your limbs. 

“Mm, first…” he pressed one knee down into the mattress, then the other, until he was hovering over you. “We have to see if you’re ready for me, don’t we?” 

Baekhyun led a painfully light touch down the middle of your chest with his index and middle fingers, between your bare breasts, and down the valley of your stomach at a pace that had you biting your tongue just to keep from begging him for the nth time. It would only further encourage him to play with you, of which you could only tolerate so much. 

You knew his moves by now, knew that he would trail those fingers down to your waist, over the elastic of your panties until he found the evidence of your arousal between your legs. You knew his moves, and he still had you whimpering the moment his fingers brushed your clit through your panties. 

Your toes curled into the sheets as you tried desperately not to show how crazy he was making you. He knew already, though, the moment he slid his fingers beneath the waistband of your panties and found wetness between your legs. 

“Oh,” Baekhyun said with a smirk, tongue running cheekily along his lower lip. “You’re dripping, Y/N. You’re this wet just from sucking me off?”

Again, you were grateful for your inability to blush. 

“Answer me,” he demanded suddenly, eyes turning dark just the way you liked them. 

“Yes!” you replied, hips canting up towards Baekhyun’s hand. “Yes, I’m this wet just from sucking you off.” 

Even after you closed your eyes, you were sure you could see the cocky smirk that was undoubtedly painted upon his lips. He lived for this, the feeling of absolutely owning you. You, an immortal, bloodthirsty, powerful woman despite how weak he made you. 

As his fingers delved lower, just until he could dip them into your entrance, you mewled and turned your cheek towards the pillow. “Please,” you breathed. 

Baekhyun’s lips brushed your neck. “Please, what?” 

“Want you… want-“ you sighed as his fingers pushed deeper, to his second knuckle. “Want you inside.”

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t surprise you when he finally gave in, but you couldn’t complain. Though he didn’t concede without a few deep pumps of his fingers, enough to have you gasping and close to ripping the sheets apart beneath you. 

Baekhyun slipped his fingers from you and stood from the bed, his hands pushing down his briefs without hesitation. He nodded at you once, motioning with his chin to the headboard behind you. 

“On your knees, and face the headboard.” 

Renewed with your need to feel Baekhyun inside of you, you easily flipped over onto all fours, that warm sensation in your gums warning you that your fangs would extend at any moment. You didn’t fight it, hoping that it wouldn’t be much longer until you would need them. 

“Fuck,” Baekhyun exhaled, just before you felt the bed shift with his weight as he moved behind you. “You’re beautiful, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love seeing you like this.” 

You’re beautiful. 

The words echoed in your mind, though you knew they probably shouldn’t. He rarely complimented you so boldly, especially before he was inside of you, overwhelmed with pleasure and pain. Curling your hands into fists, you shoved your feelings down because you needed to. A survival instinct, really. 

Because if you fell for him, if you opened your heart, the odds were against you. You weren’t sure why he chose you, why you were the only one he allowed to feed from him, but you couldn’t let yourself see it as any more than a mutual transaction of pleasure.

Baekhyun snapped you out of your thoughts easily the moment he pressed up against you from behind, his hands molding down your sides until he could place them upon your hips. 

You hung your head between your shoulders, reaching your hands out to grip the wooden slats of your headboard. The anticipation was always the best, and worst, part of this. 

It almost scared you how well Baekhyun knew your body. He knew when he trailed his fingertips down between your shoulder blades that you’d shiver and bite your lip, using every ounce of willpower that you possessed not to beg him. Even though you were pretty sure that’s what he wanted. 

He knew when he leaned forward and kissed your shoulder, that you’d ultimately lose the battle with yourself and your dignity. You were hot, sweaty, and desperate. Desperate enough to give in and sob his name, squeezing your headboard so hard that you felt the wood splinter beneath your hands. 

Without another word, his lips still pressed to your skin, you finally felt the tip of his cock tease your entrance. You held your breath, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn’t drag it out any longer. 

Your wish was granted as he filled you in one long stroke, both of you releasing satisfied moans at the sensation. This... this was bliss. 

“How are you-” Baekhyun ground out through his teeth and squeezed your hips hard enough you’d probably bruise, if you could, “-always this tight? God.” 

His lips trailed across from one shoulder blade to the other, giving your body a moment to adjust to the girth of him, before he began to move. Just like every other time, he pulled sighs and moans from you that only his ears had ever had the privilege of hearing. 

“Oh, my god,” you breathed, your walls clenching around him each time he filled you, his pace making your head spin. 

“How’s it feel, baby?” Baekhyun asked, voice low next to your ear. 

It took a few more thrusts for you to be able to catch your breath to answer him, your head spinning from the way he was fucking you. It didn’t matter how many times you had him, he always made you like this. Crazy, hungry, and weak. 

“Good, so… so good.” 

“That’s right,” Baekhyun answered, one hand drifting from your hip down between your legs to find your clit. “You’re taking me so well. Think you might get to feed a little earlier than normal tonight, baby.” 

You clenched around him once more at his words. Recently, Baekhyun had started making you wait longer and longer to taste him. The last time, you’d been teetering right on the edge of your second orgasm when he finally bared his neck to you.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world--no, that moment when his blood hit your tongue had sent you towards the most electric, trembling climax you’d ever had. But you had to admit your mouth was watering already at the thought of sinking your teeth into his skin sooner rather than later. 

“Please,” you begged, pushing your ass back towards him. “Please, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun rolled his fingers around your clit in circular motions, grunting as he thrusted hard, jolting you forward. You gasped and moaned, throwing your head back in ecstasy. 

“You want that, huh? You want me to fuck you while you drink from me?” He matched each stroke of his cock inside of you with the pace of his fingers, drawing tight circles between your legs. 

“Yes,” you answered, voice cracking. You didn’t just want it, you needed it. Your fangs were showing now, and you weren’t even sure at what point they’d finally protruded from your gums, a biological response to the thought that you would be needing them soon. 

Your world spun, briefly, as Baekhyun grabbed your hips and flipped you from your knees onto your back. It was quick, a move he’d pulled on you so many times you barely even noticed until he was pushing back inside of you. 

“Oh, look at you,” he said from above you. 

Now that you could see him, you could appreciate his rosy cheeks, the way his hair stuck to his temples, and the subtle way his shoulder muscles contracted each time he moved inside you. Holding himself up with one arm, he trailed his free hand down the side of your face and brushed his thumb over your lip. 

“You’re ready to feed, aren’t you, baby? So fucking needy. You think you deserve it?” The pad of his thumb slipped inside of your mouth, daring to trace over the shape of one of your fangs. 

All you could do was nod, the ability to actually speak coherent words completely lost on you at the moment. 

You waited, as patiently as you could while he was driving you insane, for Baekhyun to make the first move. You never reached for his arm first, never lunged for his neck or his shoulder, simply because you wanted him to have that control. 

Baekhyun leaned down, his lips trailing kisses from your chin up to your jaw, until he nipped at your earlobe. “Go ahead, pretty. Take what you want.” 

The next time he filled you completely with his cock, you finally sunk your teeth into Baekhyun’s neck, that same spot that you had claimed as your own already. You whimpered as his blood filled your mouth, sliding down your throat. 

You reveled in the way he tasted and the sinful way he inhaled sharply at the initial bite before he let out a long, blissful moan. Your body was on fire now, so consumed in Baekhyun and the way he felt buried this deep inside of your heat. It was like you were invincible. 

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him into you easily. It was different when you fed from him like this. You had to be careful, control yourself so that you didn’t hurt him too badly, but it tasted so damn good. 

Before you could get carried away, you forced yourself to pull back, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. Even though you were no longer feeding, you felt the effects of his blood rushing through your body already. 

It was electric and overwhelming in the best possible way, heightened even more so by the way Baekhyun fit inside of you and stretched you so perfectly. The entire room had brightened around you as if somebody had switched on a light. 

When you were finally able to focus on the man above you, you were pleased to find that he looked just as fucked out as you felt. His arms shook, for a moment, maybe from the quick loss of blood or just the sheer pleasure of it all.

Taken by a moment of bravery, you used your legs hooked around his hips to roll your bodies over so that you could settle on top of him and let him rest for a moment. His wound would heal quickly—something to do with the healing properties of your saliva, according to Kyungsoo—but you knew he’d need a beat to regain his strength. 

The moment he filled you completely, you took in a shuddering breath and planted your hands on his chest. Baekhyun stared up at you, eyes filled with awe, lips parted as if he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words. 

“Wanna ride you,” you whispered, licking your lips once again. “I want to make you - make you feel good,” you admitted. 

Baekhyun’s hands found your thighs, pale and smooth, and dug his fingertips into your skin. Slowly, those fingertips trailed up to your hips to pull you closer, forcing you into a rocking motion atop of him. 

“Go on, then,” he breathed. “Make me feel good.” 

It occurred to you then that you’d been in this position with him only once before, and it only lasted a couple of minutes before he flipped you onto your back and took over control. This time, though, you wanted to take it until the end. You wanted him to see just a shred of the power you could have over him. 

Maybe you didn’t realize it until now, but you knew Baekhyun’s body just as well as he knew yours. 

You knew when you rolled your hips just right, he’d groan and his eyes would flutter closed as he fought not to thrust himself further inside of you. You knew his hands would start to roam, squeezing and groping at the smooth flesh of your hips and stomach. 

Not until Baekhyun had you learned to appreciate a man’s hands on you without feeling self conscious or try to cover up. Maybe because Baekhyun owed you nothing, there was no reason for him to lie to you or tell you what you wanted to hear. With his hands and his lips, he painted his honest truth on your body without saying a word. 

You started to lose yourself more and more with each roll, each circular grind of your hips on top of him, letting your needy moans fill the room along with his.

“Just like that,” Baekhyun praised, both hands holding firmly onto your waist. “Tell me, who makes you feel this good?”

You pressed your hands more firmly into his stomach and opened your eyes, only a little surprised to find him staring up at you again as if he was trying to drink in every inch of your body. 

Just when you were about to answer, Baekhyun bucked his hips up, pushing himself deeper inside of you—deep enough to make you shiver and lose any and all words that could have gone through your mind. 

“I-” you started, fighting the urge to close your eyes. With the way he was looking at you, you knew that Baekhyun wanted your eyes on him. “Y-you,” you could only whisper. 

“I said,” he said, through his teeth, surprising you as he sat up underneath of you so that your chests were flush together. “Who makes you feel like this?” 

“You, you, you,” you cried, feeling the familiar heat building in your belly and spreading down towards your thighs. “Baekhyun, oh, fuck…” 

“Mmm,” Baekhyun hummed, pleased, pulling you even closer to him. “Such a good girl. You know exactly who you belong to, don’t you? No one else can ever have you like this.” 

Even as far gone as you were, something about his words made you shiver, mind racing with all the ways he could mean those words. You’d accepted that you wanted more from him, more than a late night fuck and feed, but what if he felt the same way?

“No one.” 

Baekhyun pressed the words onto your lips. You clawed at his shoulders, not caring if you marked him, if you left scratches to match the mysterious half-healed slashes across his torso. You wanted him to belong to you, too, if only in one way. 

The kiss sent you closer to your high as your thoughts got the best of you, imagining what your life might be like if you could belong to each other. 

Maybe you could wake up next to him someday, help him with breakfast by frying the bacon while he mixed pancake batter. Or you could fall asleep curled up into his side, hand pressed to his chest, counting his heartbeats. 

“Close,” you whispered. “I’m so close.” 

“Me too, baby. Me too.” Baekyun pulled back first from the kiss, one hand in your hair and the other helping you keep your pace, gripped possessively around your hip.

When you finally tumbled over the edge, you could only speak incoherent mumbles and whispers of pleasure into the crook of his neck as your body bowed forward into him. 

Fireworks exploded behind your vision with your climax, a feeling you should have been used to by now, but you still found yourself practically blacking out every time. It was stronger, more powerful since you became a vampire. Like every cell of your body was exploding and putting itself back together again. 

“I got you, pretty, I’m here,” you heard Baekhyun whisper as he thrust into you from below, fucking you through the intense waves of your orgasm. 

The feeling returned to your fingertips what felt like an hour later, even though it was probably only a minute or two, and you found yourself able to open your eyes. You blinked a few times to let your eyes refocus, taking in the sight of Baekhyun so close to you, so close to his peak. 

“Baekhyun, I can’t-” you gasped, willing your trembling thighs to move so you could resume your movements on top of him. It was no use—you just didn’t have the strength. 

Baekhyun moved quickly, easily flipping your positions so that he was above you once more. He remained on his knees, grabbing one of your pillows to shove under your lower back. From this angle, he could wrap your legs around his waist and grind into you at the perfect angle. 

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, hands scrambling to clutch the sheets underneath of you. All you could do was watch him, devour him with your eyes the same way you had devoured him with your mouth. 

From the moment you met him, you’d thought he was beautiful. It always struck you as unfair that he appeared to be without flaws, as if you had dreamed him up. He just simply couldn’t be real. And if he was real, it was a miracle he wanted anything to do with you. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” Baekhyun said through gritted teeth. He was losing control, moving closer and closer to the edge with each deep thrust.

Your fingers squeezed and tugged at the sheets beneath your hands, the only thing you had the physical strength left to do. “Please,” you whined. “I wanna feel you come inside me.”

It didn’t take much longer, only a few more perfect rolls of his hips before he came with a loud, shuddering groan. You felt him spill inside of you, liquid heat that felt like it was never ending. This was your favorite part. It was the closest you could ever feel to him, surrounded in every way. 

Once he had come down, Baekhyun fell forward on top of you, catching himself on his forearms. He breathed deep and heavy, face buried between your neck and your shoulder. You found yourself stroking his back, tracing words into his skin that you couldn’t say out loud. 

When he finally rolled off of you, he didn’t go far, just flopped onto his side next to you. Your breath caught in your throat when he pulled you closer, one arm around your back and the other grazing your shoulder. 

Outside the window, you heard the morning birds begin their chirping. It was easier to focus on their melody than just how close Baekhyun was. Close enough to hear his pulse, quick and strong. 

“You okay?” he asked, nose nudging your jaw. “You get enough?” 

You swallowed, suddenly remembering the whole reason Baekhyun had come over in the first place. Because you both had an itch that needed to be scratched—nothing more. 

“Yeah,” you replied weakly. “I got enough.” 

But he didn’t move, just let his lips rest softly against your neck. It had never been like this before. Soft, quiet, sweet. 

“Why do you only let me feed from you?” you found yourself asking, hand on his chest gently pushing him back. “Why me?” 

Baekhyun’s eyebrows pushed together in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean,” you sighed, sitting up and pushing your hair out of your face. “All your feeding marks are from me. I’m the only one, right?” 

Leaning up onto his elbows, Baekhyun could only shrug as if you’d asked him if he liked sugar in his coffee. “Yeah.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I like you,” Baekhyun offered. As if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

You blinked. Had you heard him wrong? Did he mean it… like that? 

“You like me,” you repeated. 

Baekhyun had the nerve to laugh, just a light, airy chuckle. “That’s what I said. Why am I the only one you feed from?” 

Gulping, you tore your eyes away from him and shook your head. You wanted to deny it—but you both knew it was true. You’d never told him as much, but you wouldn’t be so desperate for him if you could easily get it somewhere else. Correction: you could have, you just didn’t want to.

“Because I like you.” 

When you looked back at Baekhyun, he was grinning, the light catching on the glitter still smeared across his cheeks. He pushed himself to sit up, reaching for your hands. He tugged you closer to him. 

“Yeah? You sure you don’t just like my delicious, mouthwatering blood?” 

You scoffed and shook your head, feeling a smile tug at your lips. “It’s not that delicious.” 

Baekhyun laughed again, and this time you had to join him. It felt like it was too good to be true, him wanting you the way you wanted him. You wanted to pinch yourself, just to make sure you hadn’t blacked out and imagined this whole conversation. 

“Since that’s settled,” Baekhyun said, fingers grazing up your arm, your throat, until he was lifting your chin. You saw his affection for you in his eyes, so obvious it made you wonder if you’d been missing it all along. 

When his lips touched yours, it was a kiss unlike any other you’d shared with him before. Deep and slow, like you had all the time in the world. You sighed into his mouth, letting his lips quiet every worry you had racing through your brain. 

“Stay the night,” you said softly once you parted from him. 

Baekhyun smirked, pressing his forehead into yours. “It’s already morning.” 

You glanced at the window, noting the soft glow of the sunrise behind your curtains. “Oh. Never-”

“I’m kidding,” he cut you off, stroking his fingertips across your cheek. “Only if you promise to cook breakfast for me when we wake up. You do eat, right?”

“Yes,” you said with a laugh. “I eat. I don’t need to, but I love food too much not to.” 

“That’s my girl,” he replied in a low tone, giving you goosebumps. 

In order to keep yourself from jumping his bones, you pulled from him and climbed off the bed, searching for the comforter Baekhyun had thrown off the mattress when you’d first laid down. Once you found it, you settled on top of the sheets with him, pulling the blanket over top of your bodies. 

Your memories from before you turned were a blur. Some things you could remember, but it was like they’d happened to somebody else. You knew you’d had a series of unsatisfying one night stands, a couple of boyfriends, and a handful of crushes. You remembered the face of the man who turned you, but not his name or how it happened. A blessing, Kyungsoo told you. 

And although you couldn’t remember the faces of any of your past lovers, you knew without a doubt in your mind that you would never forget Baekhyun. 

You realized as he brought you into his arms that he didn’t just make you feel human, he made you feel like the girl you’d been before. 

[other-cullen-ficrecs]

MLM!Cullen Fic Rec List

Inspired by this post. Here is my fic rec list of some of my favorite fics with queer Cullen. Happy Pride :)  🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈

Cullen/Dorian

Only True in Fairy Tales by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary:  In which Dorian is a special forces operative, Bull is his partner, and Cullen is the guy they're sent to rescue. Hijinks ensue. // Words: 110150

Modern AU. Dragonflies_and_Katydids makes me read the weirdest stuff. But their work is always captivating. The more ridiculous set up the better outcome, I promise. This one is both ridiculous and absolutely perfect. And somehow one of the very few modern au fics in which Cullen's lyrium addiction is well transfered without making it literal.

Fashionably Late by tsurai

For the tumblr prompt: Cullen/Dorian Soulmates AU? <3 "Maker’s breath, this is absolutely the worst timing, he thinks distantly." // Words: 1038

This is but a tiny thing but I'm a sucker for a soulmate AU. Would I love it more if it was 150,000 words? Yes. But I'm just greedy.

COLD HANDS, WARM HEART by spicyshimmy, stonelions

Summary: Cullen and Dorian's friendship deepens. Cullen is a romantic. Dorian is literally cold. Cullen is no longer certain what he would consider surprising. Mages and Templars working in perfect cooperation, perhaps. Evil and corruption disappearing into the ground along with the blight, blood magic falling so far out of favor it ceased to be. A united Thedas: that would be a surprise. // Words: 25369

I think this is most recced Cullrian fic and for a good reason. Slow burn, drama, all the delights. 

Light In This Darken'd Time Breaks by RamonaDecember

Summary: Cullen wouldn't say he hates mages, not anymore, but he can't see himself ever trusting one again. Dorian is no exception. The mage is off-color, self-important, and all together too much for Cullen to deal with. So why is it that every time Cullen is at his lowest, Dorian seems to be the only person by his side? // Words: 121289

Slow burn with 121289 words, what more do you want?

Cullen/Bull

Jump In by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary: In which Cullen is almost terminally awkward, Bull and Dorian are literally brothers (because why not?), and Bull tries really hard to be good. Or: In which Dorian tries to set up his brother and his roommate, if he can avoid killing them for being so clueless. (You might get cavities from reading it. Don't say I didn't warn you.) // Words: 33700

What did I say about Dragonflies_and_Katydids and ridiculous premises? But if you're as delighted with awkward Cullen as am I - enjoy.

Dragons from Stars in an Empty Sky by Midna_Ronoa

Summary: The one in which Bull takes Cullen dragon-hunting. // Words: 10423

Fluff and smut and dragons!

Stuck on the Puzzle by thespectaclesofthor

Summary: Once, back in Kirkwall, Cullen had an arrangement with a member of the city guard that satisfied his needs. But time changed all things, and he despaired of ever finding a similar arrangement again - that was, until he met The Iron Bull. Problem being that Bull seemed to care far more about sorting out the nitty-gritty of such an arrangement than Cullen ever has. // Words: 235586

No fic rec lists that can involve Bullen canot do without Stuck on the Puzzle. If you haven't read it - please give it a try. As far as I'm concerned - the best fic in the fandom. And definately one of the best fics in general. <3

Cullen/Dorian/Bull

Exit Light by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary: In which Cullen is suicidally depressed, Dorian is a high-functioning alcoholic, and Bull just wants them both to be happy, except when he wants to crack their heads together for being emotionally stunted idiots. // Words: 77427

This premise is actually very close to canon, compared to some other stories by the same author recced here. The angst? Delightful. The smut? Delicious. The exploration of issues? Delectable! Cheff kisses all around.

to burn cool and collected by toomanyhometowns

Summary: Dorian hums. "Here is the function of the spell: Upon invocationne, ye caster's spyryt shal sterte to ye form of whomsoever mofte recently achieved releafe by hys hande." He taps the page in punctuation and looks back up. "And then there's a lot of text about the vast joys we may experience together, et cetera, et cetera." // Words: 16121

Ok, this list shows more than anything that my main delight is issues and angst wrapped in with porn. Anyway - cracky premise (body swap!), and angsty, sexy outcome.

Hold by queeniegalore

Summary: Everyone knows Cullen doesn't trust magic. But he trusts Dorian and Bull, so maybe they can make this work. // Words: 6654

Issues? Trauma? Kink? I'm a one trick pony when it comes to recs.

Cullen/Cole

Okay now that we’ve gotten the obvious out, let’s enjoy the trully unexpected enjoyment.

Into The Light (Cole/Cullen Ficlets) by Sinister_Kid

Summary: A series of what I hope are tasteful Cole/Cullen fics that don't exploit or overly sexualize Cole's developing character. Based on a prompt I filled out of boredom in which I imagined the spirit actually hearing someone's pain like a physical noise in his ears that caused discomfort. Explores the option of making Cole more human, with my own original take on how that affects him as a character, and depicts Cole developing romantic feelings for the Commander as he discovers what it means to be human. // Words: 20454

I admit I don't often read Cole shippy fics but this one stays true to the info in the summary and it is careful and tasteful. Also Cullen learning to speak with Cole properly - <333

Cullen/Varric

Verse & Volley Triptych by boycoffin

Summary: POSSIBLE TITLES: This Shit Was Even Weirder: A Surprisingly Not-Doomed Romance In The Shadow of the Apocalypse The Commander and the Rogue already taken, Antivan maritime smut with an elf girl in it How The Hell I Ended Up With That Guy: A Tale for The People Who Keep Asking Me About It In Bars The Short and Curlies that's just terrible Love Among the tropey garbage A Tale of Two Names pretentious and unclear The Penman's Paramour Memoirs of a Moron (That He's Going to Regret Publishing and Will Never Hear The End Of for As Long As He Lives) // Words: 133354

One of the very few fics in which I can not only accept but love 1st person POV. Crack. Slow-burn. Pennames. Lovable OCs. DELICIOUS. Also a fic that made me start this blog, so love all around.

Cullen/Krem

Last but not least, my delightful fave (maybe, possibly, probably) and involving a shameless self-plug because it’s the month of pride.

Swordplay by orphan_account

Summary: The Bull's Chargers are undisciplined, untested, and unprofessional; but Cullen can't stop thinking about their lieutenant. // Words: 3910

I have a soft spot for whoever Krem being shipped with not knowing he's trans at first. But also oblivious, pining Cullen <3

If you have been starving, a creature of bone by missivesfromghosts

Summary: Cullen is content with where he is. He has a life and a purpose. He’s doing the Maker’s work and he’s cut the Chantry’s leash on him. He barely thinks about the fact that he’s trans anymore. The last person who knew he was born anything different, barring his sister Mia, died during the Blight. This works for him. That is, until he starts falling for Krem. // Words: 769

A tiny thing but I have a soft spot for the idea. Also what's better than a ship with trans character? A ship with two trans characters. Keep that in mind for further recs actually.

Sweet, Merciful Andraste by Tainaron

Summary: PWP. Honestly, Cullen should invest in walls and a ceiling that don't have holes if he's going to keep having such loud sex. Pure, unapologetic smut between trans men who love each other. // Words: 4187

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  What more do you want from me? Sometimes porn is just porn. Enjoy.

Champions of the Just by Tainaron

Summary: En route to Griffin Wing Keep before the battle of Adamant, Cullen falls prey to an injury that reveals a shameful secret about his trauma with magic. As Cullen struggles with his past, his duty to the Inquisition, and his love life, he becomes increasingly uncertain if he’s the target of an assassination attempt or just his own personal demons. // Words: 67885

Well, I also have some plottier and angstier fics in my rec disposal. This one actually explores the problems Krem and Cullen could encounter in their relationship and all within the canon plot line. Plus bonus points of Cullen actually interacting with other Chargers.

cabbage: a love story by psikeval

Summary: Krem’s grin fades into a quiet smirk, his eyes warm and amused, and Cullen does not forget how to move his legs because he is a grown man, a leader of soldiers, commander of the Inquisition’s army. He breaks the silence by coughing loudly, because he is also an imbecile. // Words: 18932

Creme de la creme of Krem/Cullen fics <3 Fluff, crack, porn <3 This delightful series has it all! 

[bvidzsoo]

Poison (Part 4)

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

 Warnings: lots of cursing, blood, mild violence

 Word count: 18, 095

 Summary:  It seemed like Sana only brought more complications to your relationship with Mingyu and now you weren’t even sure where you stood with him. Finals hanging around were only adding on to your stress and your bad habit of building up your emotions finally blew up in your face, causing mayhem. 

 Taglist: @chal-kagyu​ @taeyongandfree​ @cheolliehugs @3rachaonlyfans 

 A/N:  Part 4 is here everyone! Get buckled up because this one is a rollercoaster of feelings, but you know, life isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, sometimes it gets dark and rains too. If you would like to be added onto the taglist, just click here and leave a message. I hope you enjoy this part!

           A day turned into two days; two days turned into three. Mingyu was busy with this sudden mysterious business everyone around me knew about, but refused to tell me; and I was busy studying for my finals with Seungcheol. Irene was nice enough to take one or two extra shifts to cover for my absence when I stayed up all night reading and reading for my thesis, and Vernon dropped by every day to drag me out for lunch to make sure I ate something at least once a day. I was beyond busy, and so was my brain overthinking every single little thing when it came to Mingyu. Yesterday, I noticed even the slight peachy smell combined with his cologne and it was enough to throw me off for the whole day. I was on edge every time I was around him and I hated it. I hated jealousy. This isn’t who I was before, with my other partners I couldn’t care less, but even just the thought of Mingyu with any other woman was enough to send me into an uncontrollable fury. It was a horrible feeling and it was bubbling up more and more inside of me, but I ignored it. For various reasons. First of all, I didn’t want to seem like a controlling, jealous girlfriend who jumps at other girls’ throats for daring to breathe in their boyfriend’s direction. Secondly, my pride wouldn’t let me tell Mingyu just yet, because deep down, I knew I was overreacting and that there was nothing going on between Sana and him. It was pure business, and I really understand that, but the way Sana acted around him; and he let her act like that; made my blood boil in my most peaceful moments. I’d randomly remember it in the middle of class and Seungcheol would give me a weird look, asking if I was okay, and I’d just nod wordlessly while trying to distract myself. Sometimes while on the phone with my parents, Sana wrapping her hand on Mingyu’s shoulder possessively would flash before my eyes, and my mother would point out the stress lacing my voice and I’d make a pathetic excuse that the cause were my finals hanging around. Other times, I’d be taking lunch with Vernon and Sana’s annoying voice would ring through my ears and I’d slam my spoon on the table too hard, creating a small commotion, but at least Vernon never questioned it. Vernon seemed to understand me without me even saying anything, and he never pushed me over the edge with his excessive questioning, like Seungcheol does. Even Irene noticed how tense my shoulders would be every day at 3:15, knowing well Mingyu was about to pass in front of the bookstore; which he actually stopped doing so often. My heart would jump in my throat every time I got a message form Mingyu and I’d have to stop myself from answering back aggressively. I even stopped texting him, afraid that I’d overshare how I was feeling without realizing. And that led to one or two things, which ended up with a pissed Mingyu and me screaming at him at 10 pm.

It started out as a normal night. I was sitting at the table in the kitchen, notebooks scattered around and coffee placed aside for another all-nighter. Seungcheol was on a last-minute notice business Jeonghan needed him to be at, so he skipped studying with me. I asked Mingyu to let Seungcheol off for two weeks, so that he can study for his finals, but Mingyu’s only answer was that ‘he’ll manage’. I was reading through my notes when the front door was unlocked, and of course, Mingyu walked in like this was his apartment. I was already in a bad mood, thoughts of how he acted towards me when Sana showed up swarm around in my head, and him showing up uninvited really ticked me off the wrong way.

“Y/N—”

“I’m studying!” I snapped from the kitchen, not bothering to welcome him like I usually would do. There was shuffling in the hallway and in came Mingyu, his shoes discarded at the door. His long coat clung to his body and he rubbed his hands together, beaming down at me.

“Where’s my kiss—”

“I said, I’m studying.” I said through gritted teeth, trying to calm myself down. I wasn’t being fair to Mingyu by not talking about what was bothering me, but I felt childish. I thought he’d laugh at me and even tease me about what was worrying me so much. I didn’t want to tell him, but it just made me feel worse.

“It takes only about a second to kiss me—”

“Mingyu!” I exclaimed, slamming my notebook on the table, “Can you leave me alone?!”

His eyebrows rose as I glared at him, hands shaking from anger but also fatigue. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and I gulped, almost spilling my frustrations.

“I don’t see you all day and then you blow up on me as if I did something wrong,” He said with a grimace, voice turning cold, “Thanks, my day was also amazing.”

I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, trying to stay rational, “I have finals next week, I need to study, my future depends on these marks, Mingyu. You can’t come by everyday unannounced and bother me! I can’t go on daily dates and act carefree when I have responsibilities to take care of! And you—you just—”

“I what?” Mingyu snapped, uncrossing his arms and storming inside the kitchen, “Is it so wrong I want to be with my girlfriend because I miss her? Because I think of her non-stop when I’m not with her? Because I like her so much, I want to be next to her all the time?”

“Mingyu—”

“No, Y/N,” He snapped, eyebrows furrowing and I stood up, regretting my outburst, “I have responsibilities too! A lot, actually, problems that could kill lives if I don’t take the right choices! I am responsible of twelve people’s lives and other innocent civilians that get involved with us! Do you really think I have all the time in the world to run around you? Be with you always?”

I huffed and threw my hands in the air, “Then why did you do it for the past six months? Why were you there daily for me, when I made it crystal clear I wanted nothing to do with you!? I didn’t ask you to do it.”

Mingyu stared at me, jaw clenched, and I felt my hands shake more, “Why offer me so much attention when—when—business is more important in the end? When a—woman, any kind of woman—is more important than I am?”  

I didn’t even realize my voice raised louder and louder, until I was done shouting the question. And I felt pathetic, I saw it in his eyes too, how Mingyu frowned and looked at me like I grew another head. I wanted to cry right there and then, pinch myself for letting that slip.

“What woman, Y/N?” He whispered, lips in a sneer, “Why are you not answering my texts—no, why did you stop texting me?”

I shrugged not trusting my voice and looked away, clenching and unclenching my hands into fists, “Because I’m busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Studying.”

There was silence and I didn’t have the nerve to look at Mingyu, instead, I stared at the mug of coffee on the table. A loud, malicious, giggle bubbled out of Mingyu’s lips and my temper flared once again, “No, you are busy hanging out with Vernon for lunch dates. You are busy having fun with Irene at the bookstore, gossiping. You have fun with Seungcheol on your movie nights. And you have fun ignoring me and then blaming it all on me. I’m done playing this push and pull game of yours, Y/N, I’m sick of it all.”

“That’s not what this is about!” I was quick to defend myself, feeling sick by his words. They weren’t true, I really was busy studying, the others were just trying to distract me from losing myself and becoming overly stressed, “I study day and night, my finals are coming up! Okay, why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know, that’s a good question, Y/N,” Mingyu scoffed and turned around, jaw clenched, “Why don’t you ponder on it and then answer it yourself?”

I gulped and watched as he walked out into the hallway, jaw clenching more, and I panicked. I didn’t want him to leave pissed and misunderstand the whole situation which I caused because I’m insecure and too stubborn to admit my jealousy.

“Mingyu—”

“Save it, okay?!” His voice raised and I flinched, staring into his blazing eyes when he turned around.

“If you leave through that door,” My voice got shaky as I pointed towards the front door, “I’m breaking up with you.”  

The silence was deafening and I could hear my heart thumping loudly, as if it was in my ears. My skin tingled and when Mingyu stared back at me blankly, it made me more anxious. Why did I even say that? I didn’t want to break up with him, fuck, he’s probably one of the best things that happened to me in this life.

“Whatever,” He muttered and swiftly pulled on his shoes, his expression so cold, I didn’t recognize the man standing in front of me. I’ve never seen him so passive before, not even the night of our first encounter. He always showed some sort of emotions, seeing him like this was scarier than seeing him angry. I knew he was about to leave and I couldn’t stop the few tears from falling and I bit my lower lip, gulping down my pride for once.

“I’m so stressed, Mingyu, I can’t even think straight anymore, okay?!” I was shouting once again, but my voice was shaking and raw, “I tried to—not be like this, but I can’t when—Sana just shows up and you don’t even acknowledge me anymore! You let her be all over you and I’m just standing there like a fucking idiot! Like I’m not even your girlfriend but your maid! And these finals—I have to pass them, okay? You can’t interrupt me all the time, these are important, I really can’t—”

I choked on air, finally running out of energy to scream at him. I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore, I just needed him to stay and hug me. I needed Seungcheol; him to tell me everything would be alright. Mingyu watched me stunned, his anger still lingering, but he was more shocked than anything else.

“Sana, she’s not—”

“Whatever.” I snapped, wiping my tears away, “I have to study. Leave or stay, I don’t care.”

I turned to walk back to the kitchen but Mingyu held my wrist, “You have to talk to me, I’m not a mind reader, sugar.”

“Yeah, I’m not either, so maybe next time warn me when you have a woman over that wants to fuck you right in front of me.” I snapped and pulled my wrist away harshly, ignoring Mingyu’s sigh.

“Sana is not—”

“Goodbye, Mingyu.” A groan came from the doorway and I downed my coffee in one go, running my hands through my hair.

“If you think you can break up with me like that, you are stupid.” I scoffed and turned to look at him, not caring that he could see the redness in my eyes.

“Suck my dick, Mingyu.” A wide smirk spread onto his lips and I looked away scowling, my blood boiling once again.

“Text me when you’ve calmed down, sugar.” I flipped him off and he was out of my apartment, slamming the door shut. I scoffed and bit my lower lip, clearing my throat and glancing at the clock. I’ll have to buy some Sugus tomorrow for the kids staying next door and apologize to their parents for being so loud; it was out of the norm; I was a quiet person.

           Leaned against the counter, eyes wide open, I stared down at the white pages covered in letters and letters that seemed to not make any sense anymore. I clenched my jaw and focused harder, but I couldn’t even read the words anymore.

“Y/N,” I jumped when a soft hand gripped mine, “Can you please blink, you’re scaring me.”

“I thought staring down at my notes will help me memorize it all—” I let a cry fall from my lips, “It’s not working!”

Laughter bubbled up from Irene and I sighed, abandoning the thought of studying anything for the moment, “I can’t do this anymore!”

“I’m glad you finally realized!” Irene exclaimed and quickly slammed my notebook shut, pushing it away, “I thought I would have to wrestle you away.”

“No…” I muttered and took a seat behind the cashier, turning towards Irene, lips pulled in a tight line.

“What’s bothering you?” She asked softly, pushing up her glasses.

“Ah, I just—” I sighed and bit down on my lip, Irene didn’t know about me and Mingyu, “Just, you know, I had an argument with…Seungcheol? Yeah, it made me really sad and now I’m just pondering on it, I guess.”

“You should both apologize,” Irene said with a shrug and I hummed, “Communication is key, Y/N, you have to speak in order to solve your problems.”

I sighed and looked down at my hands, “I suck at communicating about my feelings.”

She placed another reassuring hand on my arm and I smiled at her, “He’ll come around, he always does, doesn’t he?”

Yeah, Mingyu comes around after he cools down. I apologized after my outburst and Mingyu showed up with chocolate cake, saying that it was the magical ingredient you needed after you got into a fight. I argued that it was the magical ingredient if you piss off your girlfriend when she’s on her period, but eventually had to agree with Mingyu, chocolate cake was a good way of making up. We both admitted to having been wrong, even though Mingyu really didn’t do anything. He tried to bring up Sana again, multiple times actually, but I refused to talk about it again. It doesn’t mean I still didn’t think about it all. The outburst didn’t help much, my beliefs stayed the same about the two, but at least I could close my eyes before sleeping without seeing the two all over each other behind my eyes.

The door opened, letting a cold gush of wind inside, and Irene was on her feet with a wide smile.

“Hi!” She squeaked out and I looked at her confused, turning my head. My eyebrows furrowed when I ended up looking at Jeonghan.

“Uh,” I narrowed my eyes at him, glancing at a smiling Irene, “Hi?”

“Good morning, ladies.” He said politely, sending a small wink at us, “I come with good news.”

“Uh—” I looked between Irene and Jeonghan, “You know…Irene?”

“Of course!” Irene exclaimed, throwing me a small glare, “Jeonghan really likes to read, he comes around every few days, right?”

Jeonghan and Irene shared a subtle look and I furrowed my eyebrows at them, “Weird.”

“Yeah, Y/N, in my free time, when my boss isn’t breathing down my neck, I really like to read.” Jeonghan threw me a knowing look and I grimaced, rolling my eyes, “And I live two blocks away.”

“You what?” I exclaimed, eyes widening.

“Yeah,” He threw me a smirk before looking back at Irene with a soft smile, “I like taking walks from time to time—”

“Motherfucker.” I snapped, palms balling into fists. That’s why Mingyu stopped coming by so frequently, Jeonghan was right here to look after me when he couldn’t, and I didn’t even realize that. Holy shit, Jeonghan has amazing stalking skills if I didn’t even realize!

“Y/N!” Irene exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed in desperation, “Shut up!”

Jeonghan cleared his throat and looked at Irene with a charming grin, “So, I’m going clubbing with a few friends tomorrow…would you like to tag along?”

“Yes!” Irene didn’t miss a beat when she answered, eyes set on Jeonghan’s face, “Y/N is coming too! She’s been studying like crazy; she needs a little break.”

“Yeah…” I shook my head, “I’m not coming. I’m not exactly in the mood for—”

“My friend would appreciate if I brought more girls with us, he doesn’t take ‘no’ as an answer.” Jeonghan said playfully, but I understood the underlying message. This was Mingyu’s plan all along, that fucker. Irene threw us a confused glance before clearing her throat.

“Well, then, we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure, Vernon will pick you up girls,” Jeonghan winked at Irene and she blushed; I sighed, “I’m working beforehand, otherwise I would’ve picked you up.”

“Vernon Chwe?” Irene’s eyebrows rose in surprise as she glanced at me, “You know him?”

Jeonghan chuckled and leaned against the counter, “He’s a good friend of mine.”

“What a coincidence…” I muttered with a glare and Irene nodded, not bothering to look at me as Jeonghan seemed to lean closer in towards her.

“Nothing is a coincidence, Y/N.” He said with a shit eating grin and I glared at him, “See you, Irene.”

“See you!” Irene said breathless and followed Jeonghan with her eyes until he was outside the door. I scoffed and looked at her, not believing what I just found out. Just what other things did Mingyu not tell me? I slapped Irene’s arm to get her attention, and she glared at me.

“What?” She snapped and I rolled my eyes.

“You are a smart woman, please, stay away from Jeonghan.” I looked at her with a serious expression, not wishing a similar fate to mine for her. She was a sweet person; she didn’t need someone like Jeonghan to taint her.

“Don’t worry,” Irene giggled and turned around, walking away, “I only want to fuck him.”

“What!” I shrieked as Irene laughed loudly, disappearing between the rows of bookcases, “Are you serious—wait for me!”

           And that’s how I ended up with Seungcheol, Irene, and Vernon in my apartment at seven in the afternoon, getting ready for the party. The boys were being loud in the living room; they were arguing five minutes ago who was the best team in Formula 1; while Irene and I worked quietly in my bed room, music filling the room. I asked her to straighten my hair for me and I helped her pull hers in a really tight, high pony-tail. We did our makeup and chatted about what our plans were for the upcoming spring break, our boss gave us a two week leave as he was going overseas for some conference. I attempted to sneakily study a little bit, but Irene noticed me taking glances at my notebook and she threw it in one of my drawers when I wasn’t looking. I shook my head at her but said nothing, she was right after all, I was stressing myself out even further. When we were ready, we quickly got dressed. Irene told me she would bring over a dress for me when I told her I didn’t have anything to wear for the party, and my jaw dropped to the floor when she threw the leather, black dress at me.

“You want me to wear this?” I exclaimed; eyes wide as I held the dress in my hands.

“Duh,” Irene said with a chuckle, not even glancing at me as she pulled on her black mini-dress which had a dangerously high cut at her right thigh. The long sleeves clung to her arms like a second skin and in a swift motion her high heel boots were on, and Irene was ready to leave.

“Stop standing there like a dummy,” She chuckled as she passed by me to get her phone, “We are supposed to leave in—”

“Y/N!” Seungcheol hollered from outside the bedroom door, knocking aggressively, “When are you done?”

“In five minutes!” Irene called back and I sighed, knowing I had no choice but to wear the dress now. I made a mental reminder to never trust Irene with picking a dress for me. Reluctantly, I pulled on the tight dress, groaning when it stopped mid-thigh.

“Why is it so short?!” I exclaimed, throwing daggers at Irene with my eyes when she giggled.

“Because you’re taller than I am!” I groaned and walked to the mirror, grimacing when I saw myself. The dress was off the shoulders and it clung to my whole body like a second skin. It had a belt at the waist that I tied tightly, and of course a zipper at the front, which was the only thing keeping the dress together. Irene grinned when she stopped beside me and patted my back.

“I knew this would look bomb on you,” I threw her a small glare and suddenly, her fingers gripped the zipper and pulled it down enough to expose the top of my breasts.

“What are you doing—” I shrieked and slapped her hand, trying to pull the zipper back up, but with a surprising force, Irene gripped my wrist and gave me a look.

“We are going clubbing, not to a grandmother convention.”

“This dress already is enough for clubbing! Why pull the zipper, Irene—”

“Silence!” She raised her hand, giving me a look when I opened my mouth to speak, “I won’t go if you don’t leave the zipper the way I did it!”

“You’re so mean.” I muttered with a pout and walked to my bed, picking up the red lipstick that I left there. I went back to the mirror and applied it on my lips, a grin appearing on them unintentionally. I looked really hot, cat-eyeliner looking amazing with this shade of lipstick. The more I looked at the dress too, the more I started to like it, but I would never let Irene know, I don’t want to see her shit-eating grin.

“Now…” I heard her mutter and when I turned around, she was bent down looking for something, “Where do you keep those leather heels you told me about…”

And then it clicked and my mouth fell open, “You!”

Irene glanced at me but continued looking wordlessly, the heels were resting by the wardrobe, “That’s why you picked this dress! Because I told you about my heels! I should have stayed silent—”

“Oh, quit whining!” Irene snapped, a victorious smirk on her lips as she held the heels in her hands and threw them in my direction, “Put them on, five minutes are almost up!”

I grumbled to myself as I pulled on the leather heels, coming mid-thigh, just below where the dress ended. The heels were sharp and tall, elongating my legs even more.

Irene squealed and threw me a mischievous smirk, “Everyone will want to fuck you tonight—”

“Irene!” I screamed, slapping her arm and making her hiss, “Stop saying stuff like that!”

I turned around, embarrassed, to grab my purse from the bed, ignoring the thoughts of Mingyu suddenly invading my mind. How will he react seeing me dressed like this? Meanwhile the red silk dress from the auction was definitely the look, this one is even better. This look, is my kind of look. It really brings out my best features and I feel really hot right now, I hope Mingyu will think the same. But not to the extent to ruin our secret…wait, who said Mingyu was even coming? No one, but by Jeonghan’s subtle words, I assumed Mingyu would show up too. After all, I can not imagine Mingyu not being there when his girlfriend is about to parade around a place infested with males. I just hope he doesn’t kill anyone who dares looking my way.

After turning off the music and shutting off the lights, Irene grabbed her bag, and we headed out of my bedroom. Vernon and Seungcheol were still in the living room, now having quieted down, speaking in hushed tones. I motioned for Irene that I will inform them that we are done and that we can leave. I walked carefully to create less sound, curious of why they were suddenly whispering.

“I’m not keen of mingling with the police.” Seungcheol’s voice was deep and low, as I peeked around the corner.

“That auction made us too susceptible, Mingyu knows what’s he doing—”

“Mingyu doesn’t know shit!” Seungcheol snapped harshly and Vernon sighed.

“I know you are his second-in-hand, but S.Coups, we wouldn’t be here if Mingyu didn’t pull all that shit years back—”

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL IS MINGYU’S SECOND-IN-HAND?!

“Don’t you see he stopped listening to me?”

“It’s not like that—”

“Vernon, ever since he met Y/N, he’s…just changed. He does things carelessly; he fucked up two raids, for fuck’s sake, two! And now mingles with the police? Take orders from Wonwoo—fucking Jeon Wonwoo; Vernon! I’m sick of it all, I just want to—”

“What are you doing—” I yelped when Irene showed up next to me making me stumble a bit forward. Vernon and Seungcheol turned abruptly, heads shooting in our direction. My eyes widened and I shook my head at Irene, asking her to stay quiet. They definitely realized I was eavesdropping and I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to hear any of that. Seungcheol is Mingyu’s second-in-hand? What’s so wrong about taking orders from Wonwoo? Why did Mingyu change after meeting me? And why is a mafia leader getting involved with the police, isn’t that pure suicide? My head became dizzy from all the wondering and I cleared my throat when I realized all eyes were on me.

“What? Oh yeah, we are done.” I offered a small smile to Vernon and Seungcheol. Both men nodded, but remained staring at Irene and I, “Uh…what?”

Vernon giggled but Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed more, “Go back to your room and change out of that—”

“Are you her father, Seungcheol?” Irene snapped, glaring at Seungcheol, “Shut up and come on!”

“You look awesome, both of you!” Vernon exclaimed as he passed by us to put on his shoes. Seungcheol ignored Irene and walked up to me, eyebrows still furrowed.

“I have nothing else to wear.” I said with a shrug and Seungcheol scoffed.

“Do you want me to go through your wardrobe real quick?” He raised his eyebrows and Irene scoffed, hooking her arm with mine.

“Sorry, we’ve got no time for that,” She flashed him a fake grin and pulled me out into the hallway, where Vernon was typing on his phone, “Jesus, you never told me Seungcheol was so protective.”

“Why do you think I chose him to be my best friend?” I asked with a chuckle and Cheol scoffed from behind me.

“Obviously not with the intent of also listening to me when I want to do something good for you.”

“Oh, come on, Cheol,” I pouted and let go of Irene to grip onto my best friend’s arm, “I always listen to you, and if I don’t, I always take those words as advice.”

“Advice that kills you?” He raised his eyebrows and I threw him a glare as I let go of him.

“I’m not talking about Mingyu, again.” Vernon and Irene’s heads turned toward us in curiosity.

“He’ll be there tonight though.” Vernon raised an eyebrow and I threw him a questioning look before patting Seungcheol’s cheek.

“I love you, but shut up, Cheol.” He scoffed but a small smile slipped onto his lips.

“I love you too—”

“Good!” Irene chimed in, opening the front door, “Now that we are done with our early evening confessions, can we go?”

“We really should, Seungkwan texted me, they are already on their way there.” Vernon said as we all left my apartment and I locked the door, holding Seungcheol’s hand as we headed for the elevator. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and I grinned at him, pulling the leather jacket tighter around me. The weather wasn’t exactly fit for leather wear.

           I had no idea the whole SVT gang was coming to this underground party, so when four different flashy cars showed up in the parking lot, I was pretty surprised. Surprisingly, we arrived earlier as they got caught it traffic and we were waiting for the rest of the men inside Vernon’s car. It was cold outside and Irene and I weren’t dressed exactly appropriate for this weather, we didn’t want to catch a cold. Vernon got a text saying everyone was here, so we finally exited the warm car. Seungcheol was by my side instantly and I rolled my eyes when he intertwined his fingers with mine and threw a menacing glance to a guy passing by, who happened to look in our direction.

“Honestly, you have to stop doing that…” I trailed off with a look, making Seungcheol scoff.

“Right, I’m not gonna let guys ogle you the whole night—”

“I don’t think that’s how this works, Cheol.” I said with a laugh as we approached Mingyu’s Mercedes. Wonwoo was leaning against the car and Jihoon was by his side, talking about something.

“Seungcheol, Y/N!” Wonwoo exclaimed when he saw us and I offered him a small wave.

“Hi.” Jihoon gave us a nod and the three men did a handshake as I stood to the side. I looked around, searching for Mingyu, but I couldn’t see his tall frame anywhere. Irene was by Jeonghan’s side, giggling, and Vernon was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. I gave him a frown and he chuckled, making Seungkwan turn around with a frown. When his eyes fell on me, he gave me a glare and faced Vernon with a pout, making him burst out in laughter. I chuckled and turned back around, facing Mingyu’s car, eyes falling on the opened back door. Wonwoo held it with his hand as he typed away on his phone with his other; a leg was placed outside. My heart picked up and I looked at Seungcheol nervously, but he was busy muttering with Jihoon. Then, a hand gripped the edge of the door and out came Mingyu. Our eyes fell on each other and Mingyu’s jaw instantly clenched, making my heart beat faster. He wore leather pants, which hugged his long legs in all the perfect ways giving me a good view of his strong thighs; and he wore his leather jacket to match with his pants. I bit my lower lip, eyes running up and down his body, itching to go over and hug him tightly, to feel his body against mine. His curly hair was pushed back and the choker poking out from underneath his jacket made me gulp. Suddenly, Wonwoo cleared his throat, gaining my attention.

“You definitely didn’t miss the opportunity to dress up.” He said with a chuckle, glancing at Seungcheol, who happened to scoff.

“I’m never letting Irene dress her again.” He grumbled and I huffed, Jihoon started laughing loudly.

“Why not?” Jihoon asked once he calmed down, “She looks hot.”

I gulped and looked away from him flustered, watching Wonwoo grow amused as Mingyu slammed the door shut. I looked at him and he was glaring at an oblivious Jihoon.

“Irene picked your dress?” Mingyu finally spoke, eyes gazing at me intensely. I gave him a look before intertwining my fingers with Seungcheol’s again.

“Let’s go before he pisses me off.” I snapped and dragged Cheol with me, joining the other men that decided to enter the club. I felt Mingyu’s burning gaze on the back of my head and I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from joining his side. I desperately wanted to touch him, but I knew I couldn’t when everyone would see us. To them, I still hated Mingyu, and Mingyu was still chasing me without any successful results. It sucked having a secret relationship, but I wasn’t ready to let everyone know. When we joined the line to enter the club, Seungcheol let go of my hand to go join Joshua at the front. Irene was waiting at the back for me, pouting when I joined her.

“Where’s your prince, huh?” I teased her and she nodded to where Seungcheol was.

“He got whisked away by that Joshua guy, I think…”

“Yeah, that’s Joshua.” I said with a chuckle and Irene crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Well, I hope he’ll stop bothering Jeonghan for the rest of the night—” Irene muttered and quickly smiled when Jeonghan glanced back at her. I rolled my eyes and watched Jeonghan beacon her over.

“Okay, that’s my sign.” She said with a smirk and pushed her way to the front where Jeonghan was. I huffed and remained standing alone at the back of the line, searching for Vernon to go and join him. When my eyes fell on him and I was about to walk over, a big hand gave my ass a hard squeeze and I hissed, whirling around, ready to punch the person, but it was Mingyu. My anger faltered quickly, until I remembered anyone could see us.

“What are you doing!” I snapped and glanced around, but no one from SVT was paying attention to us.

“You’re wearing all leather?” Mingyu muttered, eyes running over my body once again, and I felt my cheeks heat up.

“Yeah…” I muttered and didn’t step back when he closed the distance between us.

“Well fuck me,” He chuckled and pressed a hard kiss against my lips, making me whine, “Is this your way of getting revenge that I left that night?”

I rolled my eyes and raised my hand to wipe the red lipstick off his lower lip, “Don’t flatter yourself so much, Mingyu, if I really broke up with you that night, I wouldn’t be here.”

“You still think you can avoid me or ignore me?”

“So, what you are saying is that you’ll bother me for the rest of my life even if I end things with you?”

“You can’t end things with me, sugar,” His lips pulled up into a malicious smirk, “only death can do us apart.”

“Jesus,” I scoffed and stepped away, turning around to walk further inside the club, “I think this is the red-flag I’ve been waiting for.”

Mingyu’s smirk widened more and I threw him a glare as we reached the entrance. I went to take the money I placed in my pocket for the entrance fee, but Mingyu pulled out his wallet and threw a card at the guy selling the tickets. His eyes widened and he handed us two bracelets with a bow of his head, refusing to take my money when I tried to hand it to him confused.

“What was that?” I asked confused as we stepped inside the club, the music not quite loud as the party barely started and there weren’t many people around yet.

“Oh, that?” Mingyu asked cockily and I glared at him as I handed him the bracelet to put it on for me, “Nothing, just exerting my power onto others, of course.”

I huffed and smiled at him mockingly, “Don’t tell me literally everyone knows who the fuck you are.”

Mingyu raised his eyebrows and looked at me seriously, waiting for my reaction. When I realized he wouldn’t say anything else, realization dawned on me and my mouth fell open. He smirked again and I glared at him, ready to burst his cocky bubble.

“Well, to your information, if you showed me whatever the fuck you showed the guy, I still would have asked for money, because six months ago I had no fucking idea who you were, so…don’t flatter yourself so much, Kim Mingyu.”

“No, sugar,” He stepped closer, eyes fixating on mine, “That’s just who you are. Even if you knew me, you’d still not let me pass without paying—”

“You’re damn right…” I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “You with your God-complex, Jesus…”

Mingyu burst out laughing and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back again, my eyes following the movement. I wanted to run my hands through his hair too, but tonight I couldn’t.

“Y/N!” I sighed quietly as Seungcheol appeared at my side, watching me confused, “Why did you disappear?”

“Why did you leave me alone?” I fired back and he rolled his eyes, gripping my arms firmly.

“Joshua had something to say, you could have just walked with me—”

“Yeah, maybe if you told me!” I shrugged and Seungcheol threw me a small glare before turning towards Mingyu.

“And what do you want?” He snapped, raising his eyebrows.

“Ah, me?” Mingyu chuckled and raised his arms in the air as if he was surrendering, “Absolutely nothing…from you.”

Seungcheol’s glare returned as he started pulling me away from Mingyu and I giggled quietly, glancing back to see him following us.

“We booked a booth; you can leave your stuff there.” Seungcheol spoke as he led the way to the booth section, a sign saying only those could sit there who had booked one previously. I nodded wordlessly and noticed how Seungcheol abandoned his coat. He was wearing a sleeveless black tank-top with a high neck, it was tucked inside his high-waisted cream-colored loose trousers. And he comments about how I dressed, when he looks this hot.

We reached the booth and I scoffed as Seungcheol faced me, “Look at you scold me when you look like that!”

Seungcheol looked down at himself with a confused looked, Mingyu stopped next to me and took a quick lookover of the older male standing in front of us.

“I look…normal?” Seungcheol said finally confused, looking back at me.

“You look hot!” I exclaimed and people passing by glanced at me amused, Mingyu scoffed next to me. Seungcheol bit his lower lip piercing, trying to stop the smile from spreading onto his lips.

“Like…really fucking hot…” I emphasized it more and Mingyu scoffed louder, suddenly throwing his leather jacket off. Seungcheol and I looked at him questioningly but he ignored us and brushed past me, raising his chin high.

“What’s his problem.” Seungcheol muttered amused and I laughed, shrugging my shoulders.

“Maybe he’s jealous—”

“Please,” Seungcheol gave me a look, “Jealous of what? It’s not like you offered him sweet attention for the past six months—actually, I feel like you’ve gotten nicer to him since the auction.”

“I have?” I mused surprised, unzipping my leather jacket, “I don’t think I have; you’re just imagining it.”

“Am I?” Seungcheol raised his eyebrows and I stared down at him, I was taller in my heels, as I took off the jacket.

“Will you seriously ruin my night by mentioning Mingyu every five seconds?” I raised my eyebrows at my best friend and he shook his head, taking my jacket.

“No, no…” He approached the booth and called out for Soonyoung to take them and hand the jackets behind him on the wall, “Wanna take some shots now or when the party starts?”

“Now—”

“Y/N!” Two different hands grabbed my arms on each side and I jumped, looking at Seokmin then at Chan.

“Hi, guys,” I giggled and Chan offered me a small wave.

“Did I just hear shots?” Seokmin asked with a wicked grin and I nodded my head slowly, glancing at Seungcheol, who didn’t look very amused.

“Want to join us?”

“Hell yeah!” Seokmin exclaimed excited and I laughed, wriggling an arm free to wave over Irene and Vernon.

“Irene! Vernon!” I called loudly, catching their attention, “We are getting shots!”

Irene was instantly on her feet, Jeonghan forgotten, as she basically ran up to us and Vernon quickly stood by Seungcheol’s side to join us.

“Okay, let’s go then…” I grinned and Seokmin gripped my arm again as him and Chan started pulling me towards the bar eagerly, making me giggle quietly. It was a bit hard to keep up with their eager pace in these heels, but I stayed quiet as the booth wasn’t very far from the bar. Irene, however, was basically running in her heels and she got to the bar first, already speaking fast to order.

“Someone is eager tonight…” Vernon muttered as we got to her side, he leaned against the bar.

“Eager to choke on some dick, you mean—” Seokmin and Vernon burst out laughing as I gave my best friend a nasty glare. Chan muttered something underneath his breath as he gave Seungcheol the stink eye too, letting go of my arm.

“At least I’m getting some dick tonight, Seungcheol, unlike you—” Irene smirked sweetly at Cheol, “Who will be playing police and hunting down every guy that dares to come close to Y/N, am I right Y/N?”

“Sounds pretty right.” I nodded with a hum and Seungcheol scoffed, turning around and grabbing a shot glass.

“Shut up and drink.” He snapped and we all laughed, stepping forward to grab a glass each. Seokmin still held onto my arm and I didn’t question him. We clanked our glasses together and emptied the glass, throats burning from the strong liquid. Suddenly, another round was placed on the table and we all looked at Irene.

“What? I told them I’m here with Kim Mingyu and apparently everything is on the house—so, I ordered five rounds!” She said excitedly, another glass in her hand already.

“Five rounds?” Chan exclaimed, grimacing as he hesitantly grabbed another glass.

“Dude,” Vernon grinned as he watched Chan amused, “You are so getting shit faced tonight!”

“You’re telling me?” Chan whined as we all grabbed our second rounds, “I didn’t eat anything before coming here.”

“Me neither.” Seungcheol groaned out after we downed our second shots. I shuddered as the liquid traveled down to my stomach, burning my body from the inside.

“What’s with Mingyu though,” Irene spoke up as our third round got filled, “Everyone looked scared shitless when I mentioned him—”

“We are regulars here.” Vernon quickly answered her, before anyone else could, ���He gets in fights sometimes, and uh, he’s a big guy, you know—people don’t exactly—vibe with him always, you know?”

“Ah,” Irene pouted and handed me my third round of shot, “That makes sense.”

“It totally does.” Seokmin said with a very serious expression, making Irene give him a questioning look.

“Who are you again?” She asked as we raised our glasses and downed the shots, “I forgot your name.”

Chan laughed next to me and Seokmin glared at him as my body shuddered again from the foul taste.

“Seokmin.” The bright boy said sulkily next to me and I offered him a small smile.

“I don’t think five shots are smart, because I’m starting to get dizzy—”

“This is a bad idea,” Seungcheol agreed with me, but his fourth round was in his hand already, “But I mean…we’ve only got two rounds…”

“Fair point…” I muttered as we downed this and then the next one, groaning at the burning in our body. I ordered some Sprite to wash down the foul taste but it only helped partially. Seungcheol walked to my side and threw his arm over my shoulders, grinning at me. I chuckled and glanced at Seokmin questioningly as he held my arm still.

“Oh, this?” He grimaced and only gripped harder, “I stop feeling my legs when I drink alcohol, I really need to hold onto someone.”

“Wouldn’t it be smarter to hold onto Vernon, Chan or Seungcheol?” I raised my eyebrows as Chan approached Seokmin on his other side, “They are more powerful, you know…”

“But your skin is really soft…” Seokmin muttered to himself and Irene’s laughter was loud as Seungcheol glared at the man.

“Take him away.” He instructed Chan and the younger boy did as told, dragging away a pouting Seokmin. I laughed and pulled Vernon into my side, gazing out onto the dance floor. The club was finally getting filled, music turned up to a louder volume now, bass reverberating off the walls and making our chests feel like they thumped together.

“I hope you both dance with me!” I looked at my two friends with raised eyebrows and accusing eyes. Vernon grinned and Seungcheol sighed, giving me a look.

“Of course, we’ll dance with you, Y/N!” Vernon pushed off the bar and pulled us onto the dance floor, “Why did we even come clubbing for if not to dance?”

“Definitely not for a one-night stand!” Irene flashed Seungcheol sweet eyes as she brushed past us, headed for the booth to probably coerce Jeonghan on the dance floor as well. Vernon and I laughed as Seungcheol glared after Irene, arm leaving me. Vernon turned me around, hugged me into himself, and started shaking us around. I burst out laughing as I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he became more chaotic, totally ignoring the beat of the music.

“Stop!” I laughed as Seungcheol watched us with a glare, “I just had five shots, do you want me throw up on you?”

“Are you drunk already?” Vernon exclaimed alarmed and stepped back.

“No, but anyone would throw up if someone shook them around like that!” Seungcheol answered for me and I nodded with a shrug, Cheol wasn’t wrong. Vernon pouted and pretended to walk away from us, making Seungcheol and I roll our eyes as we intertwined our hands and stared moving to the upbeat song. Seungcheol started jumping around and I shook my head, as I watched Seungkwan surprised as he joined us. He threw me a small glare before facing Vernon and they moved around goofily, making me smile. The brotherhood these boys had was anything unlike I’ve seen before. In the six months I spent with them, I realized they were a big family before they were just a gang formed of thirteen members. They loved each other genuinely and supported each other when in need. Distracted by watching Vernon and Seungkwan, I almost failed to notice Seungcheol sneakily trying to grab the zipper of my dress.

“Are you trying to touch my boobs, Choi Seungcheol?!” I called out loudly, staring at him with my eyebrows raised. Seungcheol’s face drained of color and he shook his head violently, his grip leaving my hand, as he went to even shake his hands.

“No, no, no!” He exclaimed, panicked, “That zipper could be pulled higher, your boobs are kind of—”

“Spilling out?” Seungkwan intertwined, giving me a side glance, “That’s the charm of the dress, Seungcheol, let the woman have fun, Jesus…”

A big grin spread on my lips as I looked at Seungkwan, he had a scowl on his face but it wasn’t directed at me this time, and I felt grateful. He never really liked me, even though Vernon said he’d come around, Seungkwan never really did like Jihoon, Joshua and Minghao did. All three warmed up to me after I spent a little time with them, but Seungkwan was hellbent on always making fun of me and criticizing me. I didn’t understand why, but I convinced myself that was how Seungkwan just was. He showed his love like that, or at least I fed myself that lie to feel less worse whenever we met. His eyes fell on me and he threw me a small glare and I knew the little affection he showed towards me was gone and never spoken again of, so I stuck my tongue out at him and turned back to Seungcheol to shake my ass at him, knowing it’d piss him off. And it did, when I faced him, he was glaring at me and his arms were crossed in front of his chest.

“Five more rounds to make Seungcheol less tense and to get him to leave you alone?!” Vernon asked as he watched all three of us, eyes lighting up with mischief. I laughed and shook my head as Seungkwan took the offer.

“I’m good for now! Maybe later, but Seungcheol—” I threw my best friend a knowing smirk and he sighed, motioning for Vernon and Seungkwan to follow him to the bar. He loved drinking, especially if it was free, and so I knew he’d get drunk and I’d have to sleep over at his to make sure he didn’t get sick during the night.

Being left alone on the dance floor, I moved around to the beat subtly, turning to try and find our booth from here. Most guys have already dispersed around the club, only around four people remained in the booth, and when I saw Mingyu sitting there alone, I decided to approach him. I walked around people, pushed a few away, to be able to get out from the dance floor and the first thing I noticed were Jeonghan and Irene sitting at the edge of the booth, leaning over each other as they were talking about something.

“Y/N!” Irene exclaimed when I stopped next to them and Jeonghan gave me a smirk as a greeting, “I was looking for you!”

“You were?” I raised my eyebrows and Jeonghan chuckled, raising to his feet, “Didn’t seem like it to me!”

“She was!” Jeonghan said as he exited the booth, offering his hand for Irene, “Care to join us on the dance floor?”

“Go ahead, I’ll be there in a few seconds!” Irene offered me a wide smile, disappearing with Jeonghan onto the dance floor. My eyes fell on Wonwoo and Mingyu, the only people sitting in the booth. Wonwoo was on his phone, sitting to the side, meanwhile Mingyu sat in the back, in the middle of the long sofa, legs spread wide and arms resting on the back of the sofa. He wore a white sleeveless shirt with green vine-like prints on it, and his choker was white as it sat around his neck tightly. I took in his form and gulped down the excess saliva, resting my arms on the table and leaning forward. Mingyu’s eyes instantly left my face and rested on my chest, jaw clenching, before he slowly dragged his eyes back up. We made eye contact and he licked his lips, hands clenching into fists. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one struggling at trying to stay away from him tonight, but I sure as hell was doing a better job at not showing it.

“Do you plan on sitting there all night?!” I asked loudly, Wonwoo snapped his head up at my voice alerted, “Just sit and watch?!”

Mingyu licked his lips again as his eyes fell back onto my breasts and he nodded, “I like the view from here!”

“You sure do,” I rolled my eyes, and stood up straight, “but I’m feeling lonely.”

“Someone is being careless tonight!” Mingyu’s lips spread in a smirk and I returned it.

“Who says I’m inviting you to dance with me? I’m asking you to join us!”

“Yeah, I’ll pass on that offer, sugar.” I huffed and my eyes landed on Wonwoo, who’s phone was placed away now.

“And you?” I raised my eyebrows at him, “Will you stay here all night next to Mingyu like a guard-dog?”

Wonwoo’s lips pulled up into an amused smile and he glanced at Mingyu, getting to his feet and adjusting his pants before he spoke up, “Of course not, I was just waiting for a hot chick to invite me to dance!”

“Wonwoo.” Mingyu’s growl was low, yet we both caught it and both Wonwoo and I burst out laughing as he exited the booth.

“Yeah, sorry, Mingyu, but I came here to have fun so…suit yourself!” Wonwoo winked at his friend and I took his extended hand, turning my back to Mingyu; I made sure to sway my hips more than I usually would do as Wonwoo led the way to the dance floor.

           Time passed but the night was still young and I haven’t stopped dancing even for a second. I took three trips to the bar already, only doing three round shots this time, not exactly wanting to get drunk by the end of the party. I knew how to hold my liquor, I also knew when was the time for me to stop and right now I was right there, so instead of downing another round of shots like Irene and the guys were doing next to me, I instead drank from the Sprite I ordered. Soonyoung and Seokmin cheered loudly as they slammed their glasses against the bar, high-fiving each other for finishing the shots first and then they turned around and headed back to the dance floor. I laughed at them and turned towards Minghao when I felt him nudge me. He had a sour look on his face, eyebrows furrowed, and I offered him my Sprite to wash away the sour taste of his non-alcoholic drink with. He took it with a grateful nod and I looked towards Irene amused when she started cheering loudly. Her and Jeonghan have been drinking the whole time we’ve been here for, competing to see which one would get drunk first, and right now, both already were.

“That was my last shot of the night!” Jeonghan slurred, almost knocking over three other glasses as he slammed his down.

“You give up?!” Irene shouted with a grin.

“Unless you want to put me in a coma?!” I laughed at Jeonghan’s words and took the bottle of Sprite back from Minghao.

“I won then,” A smirk spread on Irene’s lips and she stepped closer to Jeonghan, holding his chin, “where’s my prize?”

“Right in front of your eyes.” Jeonghan smirked before his lips were on Irene’s and both Minghao and I turned away with a grimace on our faces.

“That was enough action for me tonight, I’m retreating!” He called with a tired voice, taking my Sprite bottle, “I’m stealing this, I hope you don’t mind!”

“I don’t, drive home safely!” I patted his shoulder; Minghao didn’t drink alcohol tonight; and Minghao gave me a small nod of goodbye.

“Take care of your drunk friend!” I nodded as he disappeared into the crowd of people. Seeing Jeonghan and Irene still making out, I sighed, and headed back onto the dance floor, eyes falling onto the booth to find Mingyu gone. He, himself, took a few trips to the bar during our time here, but I always kept my eyes on him and so did he with me. Not seeing him didn’t alert me very much, but I continued to look for him to make sure he was fine. He was a powerful and dangerous man after all, many people wanted to see him dead. Not seeing him at the bar and booth, I figured he’d gone to the restroom, so I ventured inside the dancing crowd but my eyes narrowed when it fell on Mingyu. Two females with short skirts, shorter than mine, clung onto his exposed arms and giggled at something Mingyu was saying. He was grinning down at them wickedly and my jaw clenched as I watched the suggestive way they continued gazing at him. I knew he was just doing his façade as the two of us basically weren’t a couple that others knew about, but as I turned down multiple men trying to hit on me, I expected the same behavior from him. Without thinking twice, the alcohol fueled my anger even more, I headed in their direction eyes set on them like a hawk. As the long, black haired girl raised her hand to place it against Mingyu’s chest, I caught it in a vice like grip. I didn’t even care anymore if someone from SVT saw me, I wanted their hands off my boyfriend.

“Having fun?” I shouted over the music, raising my eyebrows at the three people in front of me. The girl struggled to pull her hand away, but I squeezed it harder.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” The other one, who I wasn’t holding, took a demanding stance and laughter bubbled up from my lungs.

“Your hands on my boyfriend!” I stared the woman down with a death stare and when her lips pulled into a smirk, I thought I’d break the wrist of the woman I was holding. She yelped loudly and I released her arm, realizing I was hurting her, and she instantly stepped away from Mingyu.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“Who the fuck cares, Dahyun!” The other one still clinging to Mingyu provoked, “He never said he has a girlfriend!”

I was sure even my face got red and when I stepped forward, right hand curled into a fist, Mingyu stepped away from the woman and glared at her.

“Fuck off, both of you.” He snapped aggressively and both women scrambled away, not without the black haired one shooting daggers at me. I felt like I was breathing out fire as I watched them until they got sucked into the crowd, I didn’t even feel Mingyu approaching me. My eyes snapped at him when I felt firm hands gripping my hips tightly, trying to gain my attention.

“Calm down, sugar,” Mingyu’s voice remained soothing as he shouted over the music, “I wouldn’t have let them do anything! It would’ve been suspicious if I stayed in the booth all night watching you—”

“You let them touch you!” I snapped, still angrier than I normally would be, of course, due to the alcohol in my system, “I will break their fingers and yours too!”

Mingyu had the audacity to laugh in my face and squeeze my hips, pulling me closer to his body, his honey-like cologne invading my nostrils. My skin tingled and my heartbeat quickened, I wanted to touch him and feel him against me, kiss him. So, I leaned closer to him, lips almost on his, when he pulled away.

“Not here.” His voice was low but I heard it crystal clear, his eyes darkened as he watched my eyebrows furrow as I placed my hands on top of his.

“I can’t do this anymore!” I whined and desperately clung to his hands, “I want to feel you!”

Mingyu’s jaw clenched and he turned one of his hands, letting go of my hip, to intertwine our fingers, “Soon, okay?! We’ll make it look normal, pretend to go the restroom or something—but be patient!”

I sighed and nodded my head, eyes on his lips as I watched him talk, imagining the softness and the smokey taste they always carried around. Before I could answer him back verbally too, someone else grabbed my shoulder and I was ready to create a scene thinking it was Seungcheol, but when I looked to my right, it was actually Junhui. He had a smirk on his face and I watched him confused as he pushed me a bit forward.

“Come on, let’s go dance with Seungcheol!” He shouted over the music, not even sparing a glance at Mingyu, clearly uninterested in with whom I was. Mingyu’s grip turned dangerously tight and I hissed, squirming out of his grip due to the pain. I didn’t want to go with Jun, I wanted to stay with Mingyu, but I knew Jun would snitch to Seungcheol if I stayed here, so I shot my boyfriend an apologetic smile and let Jun lead me away and towards Seungcheol, Vernon, Irene, Jeonghan, and Seungkwan. Everyone was pretty tipsy, besides Irene and Jeonghan who were really drunk. They greeted us with grins when Jun and I stopped next to them and I waved at Seungcheol, who didn’t seem very happy that I arrived with Junhui. I was about to stand next to Seungcheol as Jun was still holding me and I wasn’t very comfortable with it, when I felt his hands shift to my waist and move me from behind. My brain went blank when I realized he was trying to dance with me and I didn’t know how to react, so I let him lead my hips to his own rhythm. I was feeling uncomfortable but I played it off, trying to put even a tiny little bit of distance between our bodies, but Jun held me tightly against him. I made eye contact with Seungcheol and he was glaring hard at Junhui as he started moving towards us, clearly seeing how uncomfortable I was feeling. I shuddered when Jun rested his chin on my exposed shoulder, his breath hitting my skin, and I decided that it was time I helped myself get away. I gripped his hands and tried to pry them off, shooting Seungcheol a look when he was about to raise his fist, as if to punch Jun.

“Hey! Let go—” He started shouting, but suddenly, Junhui’s body was gone and I turned around stunned. Seungcheol watched amazed as Mingyu held Jun back by the collar of his white shirt, with a gaze that could make you drop dead on the spot. He raised his forefinger at Jun as he started saying something to him, mouth moving fast. Seungcheol placed a hand on my shoulder and I offered him a small smile, watching Mingyu, scared he’d punch Jun or something and cause a scene that would attract more eyes than the ones already on us. Jun’s jaw was clenched as he glared back at Mingyu, but he just nodded twice when Mingyu finished speaking and stepped away from him, turning his back and walking off. Mingyu remained still for a few seconds before he turned around, eyes locked with mine, and then the next second I was pulled into his big body. Seungcheol’s arm disappeared from my shoulder and I didn’t feel it try to pull me away, as Mingyu’s hands held me against him tightly. I sighed and circled my arms around his neck, clinging onto him like I wanted to all night. The heels made me even taller than I usually was and I could feel his hot breath hitting my ear, making the hairs stand on my arms. One of his hands gripped my nape as the other rested on my ass, I didn’t even care who saw us and what they thought, I just wanted to be close to my boyfriend. Mingyu started swaying us to the rhythm and an excited grin appeared on my lips as we were finally doing what I wished for us to do all night. I could have been imagining it, but I thought I could feel the rapid beat of his heart as I pressed a kiss just below his ear, giggling at the way his hands squeezed me in warning, asking me to stop. I knew I had to stop, otherwise, we’d really blow our cover. If I was struggling this much at trying to ignore him all night, I couldn’t imagine what Mingyu was feeling having to see me dressed so revealing without being able to feel me. I pushed all worries to the back of my mind, all the explanations I’d have to come up with to the ones that saw what happened, and enjoyed the present moment of doing what I wanted all night. Moving with Mingyu, against him, and running my hands all over his body with the occasional swift kisses pressed against his skin, my night was complete.

           Seungcheol was finally free after the party and we could sit down to study together. He had a lot of catching up to do, so we didn’t talk much, only asked each other if we needed help understanding something. I was secretly really happy that Seungcheol was too busy studying to even think about anything else, because I knew he wasn’t drunk enough last time to have trouble remembering events from the club. I knew it was eating him alive that he let Mingyu dance with me, as if that was some horrible thing, and I realized it this morning when Cheol showed up at my door with a big ass homecooked breakfast. He wasn’t someone who enjoyed staying in the kitchen, probably why he would always eat my leftover food, but when something really bothered him it was his way of unwinding. A weird habit, but it helped him clear his mind for a bit. And so now I was just waiting for him to bring it up, even though I really didn’t want to talk about it, but it was inevitable. We had placed two mugs of coffee on my coffee table in the living room and while I rested on the sofa with a notebook in my lap, Seungcheol was strolling around in my living room as he mumbled to himself whatever was written in his notebook. The atmosphere was chill and pleasant, like it usually was when we were studying, until, of course, Seungcheol opened his mouth and stressed me out with one single question.

“Why were you clinging to Mingyu last night?” I thought if I didn’t react to the question, he’d assume I didn’t hear it and would drop it, but when I felt my best friend’s burning gaze on me, I realized he wouldn’t let this topic slide at all. Seungcheol was angry and confused and wanted answers.

“Uhm,” I shrugged, glancing up at him with my heart thumping quickly, “I guess the alcohol messed with me. I get clingy, I think…you know that though.”

Seungcheol gave me a look and I looked away, attempting to continue studying, “You are not clingy, ever.”

“Why does it matter though?” I snapped, glancing at Seungcheol. He seemed outraged by my question as he threw me a glare.

“Why does it matter?” He scoffed and I stared at him with my lips in a straight line, “Because it’s Kim Mingyu! He will fuck your whole life up, Y/N, if you get involved with him. Please, listen to me, I’ve known him for a long time, okay? He’s not the person who he pretends to be, he just wants to—”

Seungcheol cut himself off and I raised my eyebrows, feeling a bit attacked, “Wants to fuck me? Then dump me and never speak to me again? Maybe taunt me a little bit, play with me for a short time then break my heart because he’s an awful person?”

Seungcheol gulped and nodded his head once, looking back down at his notebook, “Well…I know.”

The words didn’t feel right and I didn’t believe what I said. Maybe at the beginning, when I met him, I believed that, but not anymore. Not ever since we’ve spent so much time together and he let me see his vulnerable side. He didn’t share very much, but I figured he was being cautious, and he just probably wasn’t ready yet to lay his whole life out for me.

“If you know, stop associating yourself with him!” Seungcheol snapped and looked at me frustrated, “Every single time when he comes to you with a suicidal proposal, you accept it! It’s like you can’t wait until he shows up with something crazy! Do you understand what we do is dangerous? That you keep getting involved in things you shouldn’t? We can’t protect you always, I won’t be with you always.”

I grew annoyed at Seungcheol’s words and I placed my notebook aside, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “You do realize this applies to you as well? For five years, Seungcheol, I had no idea you were a gang leader’s or whatever’s second-in-hand. You were the first one to expose me, idiot, and now you keep blaming everything on Mingyu! Why is it always about him? Why is it never about you? Why will you not admit it, Cheol?”

My best friend gulped and he looked down, a guilty look crossing his features before he looked back at me, “Because you are my sister. I come form a shitty family, you know, I struggled my whole life with money because my parents couldn’t deal with them. I still have to help them, if it wasn’t for me, they’d be living on the streets right now. And SVT—I had to do many dirty things to become Mingyu’s second-in-hand, things that would horrify you—I’m—a horrible person and you make me feel a little less horrible. Like I have a normal life, like I’m just a simple university student, like I’m just Choi Seungcheol.”

I bit my lower lip, anger dissipating a little bit, as Seungcheol looked back at me teary eyed, “I know I’m selfish, okay? And I know I can be a lot to deal with sometimes but I just—really love you, okay? And I’m really scared of losing you, that’s why I hate you being involved with SVT and not just me. While it was just me, it wasn’t that dangerous, but now everyone—”

He sighed and my eyebrows furrowed, I watched Seungcheol expectantly and he just shook his head, “Now everyone knows you are Mingyu’s and that if they touch you, they are dead. But that also implies if they touch you, Mingyu is destroyed. And Mingyu has pissed of many people who’d like to get back at him and now—he offered them a perfect bait.”

I gulped as Seungcheol approached me, “I know Cheol, I was kidnapped within the first week of meeting him. And I think about it more often than you’d think…how easily I could disappear one day and end up dead without being able to say goodbye to…the people I love. But I chose to trust you, SVT, and Mingyu. Have a little faith in him, will you?”

Seungcheol grimaced as he plopped down next to me, cuddling up into my side, “When you kissed him at the auction, I thought I’d shoot his brains out.”

“You what?” I exclaimed, glaring down at my best friend. Just the thought of Mingyu getting harmed could send me into a panicked frenzy and when it was coming from Cheol, it made me even more upset. I would never forgive him if he harmed Mingyu.

“He planned it all, Y/N, did you never think of that?” Seungcheol’s eyes connected with mine and I looked at him confused, “He’s an amazing manipulator, Y/N. Whatever he said that made you kiss him, he planned it, he wanted that to happen. The people who were there wanted to ambush Mingyu that night and kill him, but he brought you along and changed their plans. Not because they care if an innocent life dies, no, because Mingyu changed routes. They didn’t know where the two of you would go after the auction and they couldn’t proceed with their plan. It was all a lead on, that’s why I was so damn angry and wanted you to stay out of it. Because I was scared, I’d lose you.”

I frowned as I in-took the information Seungcheol just gave me; he looked at me worried, as if he knew how this affected me. So…the auction was not only a set up to kill Mingyu, but it was also a set up to fool those people and also put my life at risk? It didn’t sit well with me and perhaps my blind trust in Mingyu faltered a little bit. How do I know what we have now is genuine?

“Who’s Hirai Momo?” I blurted out, remembering the tension between the old man and Mingyu. How smug he acted there, how tauntingly he said her name, how he owned the place. Seungcheol sat up straight, eyes wide.

“What?”

If Mingyu was so horrible, he must have done something to them, I wanted to know what. Did he use the family, maybe Momo, like he used me for the auction? Was he using me now too? Would I suffer a similar fate to the Hirai family?

“Vernon—” I gulped as I maintained eye-contact with Cheol, hating that I was lying to him again, “I heard him mention that name and he looked…really sad…”

Seungcheol gulped and he looked away, scratching the back of his neck, “The Hirai family got involved with Mingyu at the worst time and they thought they could play him, so now Mingyu owns them for life. It’s a dirty world we live in, Y/N. Once you mess with a leader like Mingyu, you’re at his mercy.”

I hummed and played with my fingers as Cheol glanced at me, looking uncomfortable, “But who’s Momo?”

“A woman.”

“What happened to her?”

Seungcheol refused to look at me as he rose from the sofa and took his mug, taking a sip from it, “Just a poor girl who—got involved with the wrong person—”

“Stop saying that!” I snapped, anger returning, “I’m fed up with hearing the same excuse over and over again! Just tell me!”

“She’s Mingyu’s ex, okay?” Seungcheol snapped, his anger seeming to match mine, “She fell in love with him and Mingyu played her, no, destroyed her for life. He exploited her and bent her to his wishes however he wanted. Momo can’t see Mingyu anymore, unless she wants to have another maniac episode. He traumatized her and now she’s suffering on her own, her parents struggle to keep her together every day. We don’t talk about her, so you should never bring her up again.”  

I gulped as I watched Seungcheol, not exactly knowing how to take in the information. Mingyu did something so bad to Momo that she’s now suffering? He literally drove her crazy? I bit my lower lip and looked away from my best friend, afraid he’d already seen the tears in my eyes. I had the audacity to waltz inside the poor family’s house and flaunt around with Mingyu. With Mingyu, who knew if Momo saw him, she’d get worse, no, he enjoyed the thought of her seeing him…and me there with him. Who was the person I was dating? Did I even know anything about him? Was I destined to have the same fate? Maybe worse? Would he drive me crazy or kill me when he was done with me? I was on the verge of breaking down and just telling Seungcheol that I was dating Mingyu, when loud knocking interrupted the silence of my apartment. I jumped to my feet, hands shaking from the shock of what I learned, and Seungcheol extended an arm.

“Stay here.” He muttered lowly as he cautiously headed for the front door. I saw him peeking out the window before he neared the door, undoing the locks one by one. Seungcheol’s shoulders were tense as he gripped the handle and swung the door open, unleashing hell.

“Move, fuck, move!” Someone shouted and I jumped, heart thumping wildly.

“Where’s the fucking kitchen—”

“To the left, what the fuck happened!” Seungcheol’s voice boomed over the voices in my apartment and I was in the hallway, eyes widening at the sight. I gasped as I watched Mingyu half conscious, groaning at every step Wonwoo and Hoshi took. Chan looked frantic and when my eyes fell on Mingyu’s bloodied white shirt, I had to lean against the wall.

“What happened?” I asked faintly, not even noticing Cheol approach me.

“Go sit in the living room—”

“No, what the fuck happened!” I shouted, following after Wonwoo and Hoshi into my kitchen. Chan threw everything off my table, I didn’t care when a plate shattered, and Mingyu was laid on top of it.

“I need gauze, a knife, needle and thread, alcohol!” Seungcheol rushed past me, knocking into me, as I stood in the doorway with my eyes fixated on Mingyu’s pain covered face.

“A deal went wrong—” Wonwoo huffed out, tearing Mingyu’s shirt open as Chan rushed to wash his hands in the sink, Hoshi held Mingyu’s torso down, “Shootout happened, he got injured—”

Mingyu moaned loudly in pain and I watched helpless, that one time he returned injured after a week of missing and I had to dress him returning to my mind.

“Hurry the fuck up, S. Coups!” Chan shouted and I bit my lower lip, heart beating fast when Wonwoo slowly lifted the bloody material off Mingyu’s skin. Mingyu groaned again as he pressed his head into the table, eyes opening and falling on me.

“Sugar…” He panted, voice weak and raspy. I didn’t know how to react, my hands shook more, when Wonwoo beaconed me over.

“Is he—will he—die?”

“Not if it depends on me.” Chan said determinedly as Seungcheol rushed into the kitchen, everything Chan asked for in his arms. I shakily approached them and bit my lower lip when Mingyu grimaced again, squirming around more.

“Stop moving if you want the bullet out of your body!” Hoshi snapped and my eyes fell on the wound for the first time. I could see the bullet actually, it wasn’t in very deep, and it made me sick; his lower abdomen was all bloody and sweat covered his body.

“I told you to wear a fucking vest!” Wonwoo cursed, his deep voice raising at Mingyu and Seungcheol disinfected the knife and needle with the alcohol.

“Sugar…” Mingyu’s eyes searched for mine and I looked at him, not knowing what to do, “Now would be a good time to get a kiss…”

I huffed out a chuckle, shaking my head at him, as Chan took the knife in his hand, “Hold him down.”

Seungcheol grabbed Mingyu’s thighs, Hoshi held onto his torso and Wonwoo stood beside me, hands pressing down his shoulders.

“You can hold him too; he needs a little comfort.” Wonwoo muttered to me when Chan approached Mingyu.

“Stay still.” Chan instructed and I watched as he lowered the knife closer and closer to Mingyu’s ribs, poking the skin just underneath the bullet wound. Mingyu groaned loudly, sucking his belly in and I fell to my knees, taking his head in my hands.

“Look at me,” I said shakily and Mingyu’s jaw clenched as a groan left his lips, “You’ll be fine.”

His body was twitching and my eyebrows furrowed when I glanced at Chan, knife in the wound, pushing the bullet out. The sight made me sick and I looked back at Mingyu as he cried out.

“It’s almost out, Mingyu…” I whispered and he groaned, turning his head into my hold, closing his eyes tightly shut. Chan worked to wipe the wound with alcohol too and Mingyu cried out for the second time, his voice raw. My heart clenched at the sound and I knew he could feel the tremor of my hands when his eyes snapped open, the needle with the threat entering his skin to stitch him up.

“I’m fine.” He growled out, jaw clenched, the veins in his neck showing, as he pressed his head into my touch.

“Yes, you are.” I snapped, biting my lower lip when he attempted to chuckle, “Because…if you die…I don’t know what I’ll do.”

I needed so many answers, he couldn’t leave me. We’ve been together for way too little time; I couldn’t lose him now.

“A bullet can’t—” He hissed and I glanced at Chan to see him having finished stitching Mingyu up, “take me down, fuck.”

His body seemed to go slack, his muscles loosened when Chan stepped back, and the boys let go of him. I couldn’t, not when he was laying on my kitchen table injured and in pain. He nuzzled his cheek into my touch and closed his eyes as Chan cleaned up the skin around the wound as best as he could, pressing some gauze against the stitches.

“Who did this?” Seungcheol’s voice was deadly, low and menacing, and my head whipped in his direction to see him staring at Mingyu’s wound. Soonyoung shared a look with Wonwoo and he left Mingyu’s side, taking Seungcheol out of the kitchen with himself.

“Seungcheol told us it was a bad idea—” Wonwoo seemed angry as his palms turned into fists.

“And you said we should proceed still—” Mingyu spat, eyes blazing with fire as he opened them, glaring at his best friend. Chan remained quiet as he cleaned up and I continued to hold Mingyu’s head, stroking his hot cheek. And then I remembered the conversation I overheard Vernon and Seungcheol having, and I opened my mouth, not letting Wonwoo say anything.

“Since when do you take orders from Wonwoo?” I snapped, raising my eyebrows. The three men looked at me stunned, my voice was hard and the panic and anger slipped through, “Seungcheol is your fucking second-in-hand, not Wonwoo. Remember who you are, Kim Mingyu, and start acting like it.”

When I said those words, I didn’t know the weight they carried. I failed to notice the look Chan and Wonwoo shared next to me, the way they straightened up and looked down. Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed, probably confused how I knew that, but I knew he got the message when his expression hardened. He raised his head and I lowered mine, pressing a kiss against his lips before Seungcheol returned. The questions remained, all the insecurities worsened, but when I looked at Mingyu, laying on my table in the kitchen injured, I knew those could wait. I knew I would forgive him, because I cared about him so much. So much, I felt like my own life flashed in front of my eyes when I saw him in pain and all bloody. I realized, no matter what this man did to me, I would always return because I cared about him. Because I wanted to be with him, because I felt something for him, I’ve never felt before. And maybe…I was the next Momo, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk away. And if I didn’t do it now, I wouldn’t do it later.

           The boys stayed for two hours, letting Mingyu get a little rest while they planned how to get back at the gang that injured their leader. I cooked some food and fed the men, staying by Mingyu’s side, even though he asked to be alone. I couldn’t bring myself to do that, not when his face was scrunched up in his sleep, and he winced at the tiniest movement. Chan gave him some powerful painkillers but the effects kicked in later than they were expecting it. Seungcheol was too busy and tired to pay any attention to me as they were huddled around in my kitchen at the table, which we cleaned up already, discussing about something I wasn’t supposed to hear about. I took that as my chance to sneak into my bedroom, where Mingyu was resting, and study some more while supervising him and making sure he was alright. Mingyu had a fever, but Chan said it was a normal reaction. Apparently, Chan went to med school and he was SVT’s medic, in case something like this happened. He reassured me that Mingyu would be fine and in no more than just a week, he’d stop feeling any discomfort caused by the bullet wound. I trusted him and thanked him for doing his best as I closed the bedroom door softly, turning around to see Mingyu’s eyes half opened. He looked tired and in pain, my heart clenched. This was such a bad timing, I wanted to reassure him, but Seungcheol’s words hung around my head and I didn’t know how to act anymore. But when he extended his hand towards mine with a whine, I caved in, and walked up to the bed to hold onto him. He mumbled something that I couldn’t understand as he held onto my hand fiercely, his eyes finally closing as he dozed off with a long sigh. Tears gathered in my eyes once again as I looked down at him, confusion, fear, and affection mushing together all because of one man. I felt so lost sitting there, left alone with my thoughts, but my finals were tomorrow and I needed to study still. So, I grabbed my notebook and sat on the floor, holding onto Mingyu’s hand, as I distracted my thoughts by memorizing everything I could.

After Mingyu woke up and ate a bit, Wonwoo, Soonyoung and Chan took him away and thanked me for housing them for the time being. Apparently, my apartment was the closest and they knew Seungcheol was over, so they knew they had to come here. I was a bit reluctant when Mingyu whispered that he’d text me as soon as he got home, not wanting him to go just yet, but I nodded at him and kissed his cheek when no one was watching. That night, I hardly slept anything, and I ended up going over to Seungcheol’s, cuddling up next to him in his small bed. It helped a bit, but I wasn’t feeling very energized in the morning when Seungcheol drove us to Uni, let alone ready to take those finals. But I sucked it up, and did my best to get a passing grade. Before leaving, I messaged Mingyu to see if he was feeling alright and I got a swift text back, but I didn’t think much of it, he wasn’t very talkative in the mornings. I continued to send a few messages, like I usually would, while Seungcheol and I were going to Uni but I got no answer back, so I assumed Mingyu was just resting. After my finals, I messaged him once again with a few texts, checking up on him and letting him know that I was done with Uni and I would head to the bookstore, but I got no answer back. It made me a bit sulky, but I tried not to think much of it, he probably was just resting, like he should. However, it still worried me a bit since he stopped answering me since the morning. Seungcheol had to stay for longer at Uni today, so Vernon was the one picking me up, he called and told me was around and free if I needed a ride or wanted to have lunch. I told him that I couldn’t go to lunch today as I was working, so he offered to drive me to the bookstore.

It was warm inside the car and I sighed with a smile as I closed the door, smiling back at Vernon. He leaned over the middle console and we hugged each other before I put on my seatbelt, my backpack resting between my legs.

“How were your finals?” He asked as he drove out of the parking lot.

“Hard, but at least it’s finally over.” I muttered with a sigh, melting into the seat. I could finally do whatever I wanted and wouldn’t be stressed anymore.

“I heard finals are a pain in the ass.” I scoffed at Vernon’s words as he turned onto the main street.

“I was living on coffee and all I did for two weeks was an attempt to study non-stop…” Vernon hummed, turning up the radio when his favorite song came on. I chuckled and bobbed my head to it, unlocking my phone to check if Mingyu answered back. There was nothing though and I sighed as I continued enjoying the music, laughing when Vernon rapped along. He changed lanes swiftly and sped up a bit, crossing the light when it turned yellow.

“What’s bothering you?” Vernon spoke over the music, giving me a quick glance, “You keep frowning.”

I quickly evened my expression out and shook my head, “Nothing.”

“Ay, come on…” Vernon gave me another glance, “You won’t tell you friend what’s bothering you? Do you not trust me?”

“I trust you!” I snapped and Vernon chuckled, coming to a stop at the red light, “It’s just…”

“Just say it, it’s no big deal, really.” He offered me a small smile and tapped my knee reassuringly.

I pursed my lips and nodded, turning my head away from him as my cheeks warmed, “Do you know anything about Mingyu…”

Vernon remained silent as he turned the volume of the music down, “Like…am I supposed to know anything specific about him?”

I scoffed and gave him a look, “He was shot and I’m just curious if he’s fine.”

“Ah!” Vernon exclaimed, driving through the intersection once the lights turned green, “Yeah, we had a meeting this morning, he was fine. I mean…I’m sure he’s still in pain, but he had more energy than I was expecting him to have.”

“Really?” I muttered and sighed, looking out the window, “Is he resting enough?”

“It’s Mingyu,” Vernon scoffed and I glanced at him, “He never rests, especially when we are in the middle of negotiating with the police! I know he was with Sana today before and after our meeting—”

My head whipped in Vernon’s direction as his eyes went wide, “What?”

“Uh,” Vernon gulped and chuckled awkwardly, stopping at a cross, “No—nothing?”

“Mingyu was with who?” I pressed again, shooting daggers at Vernon’s profile as he started driving again.

“Sana.” He whispered guiltily and I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“That fucking asshole,” I snapped, voice growing loud, “I worry about him non-stop, wondering if he’s doing alright, but he’s out with Sana? Doing business, I assume? I’m so fucking fed up with him! Why did I even think dating him was a good idea—”

It was my turn for my eyes to go wide, and voice grow silent. Vernon didn’t say anything, a bit surprised by my sudden outburst. I cleared my throat and sneaked a glance at him, he was grinning to himself.

“What.” I muttered, glaring down at my own legs.

“Are you jealous?” His voice filled with amusement almost made me lose it again.

“I’m not!” I exclaimed, looking at him with narrowed eyes, “What makes you think that?”

“Well…” Vernon chuckled as he pulled in front of the bookstore, “I don’t know if it makes you feel better, but Mingyu is really jealous too. I mean…he told me right after the auction to leave you alone because you’ve been dating secretly for a while now.”

“That’s not even true!” I exclaimed as my eyes went wide; Vernon just shrugged, “We’ve only been dating for four weeks now…there was nothing going on between us before the auction!”

I undid my seatbelt as Vernon watched me with a pout, “I don’t want to get involved with your relationship, but…just be careful, okay?”

“Why?” I raised my eyebrows, opening the door, “Because I’ll end up like Momo?”

Vernon’s jaw went slack as his eyes ran over my face, shocked that I knew of her, “What?”

“Yeah,” I snapped sourly, “Mingyu had the audacity to take me to their house. He’s incapable of answering my texts because he’s currently with Sana. Maybe he’s already begun his process of breaking me, huh?”

“That’s not—” I scoffed and Vernon looked away from me for a second, “That’s not what’s happening, if Mingyu wanted to play around with you, he would have had his fun with you already.”

I hummed and exited the car, “Yeah…I don’t know what to believe anymore, Vernon. I know the whole auction was planned, Cheol told me.”

Vernon’s face turned pale and guilt overtook his features as I turned to look at him, “I’m not mad at you, don’t worry. I’ll talk to you later and—please, don’t tell anyone about Mingyu and I, especially Seungcheol.”

“I won’t, take care of yourself.” I hummed and closed the car’s door, watching as Vernon drove away. I sighed and looked up at the sky, questioning all the decisions I have taken lately. What was I doing? Was this the right path? Could I turn around? I couldn’t though, it was too late already. Maybe this was supposed to happen to teach me a lesson. With a sigh I turned to walk up to the bookstore, but my phone got a message notification. I took it in my hand and pulled down the notification bar to see a text from Mingyu. Then another and five more in just five seconds. I scoffed and put it back in my pocket as I headed for the bookstore, eyebrows furrowed and blood boiling. He has the audacity to say he was resting meanwhile he was with Sana. If he thinks he can fool me and make me bend to his wishes, he is fucking wrong.

           I was doing the shops inventory as I hummed along to the music. Irene had to leave to pick up a package that her mother sent for her from the train station, so I was currently alone at the bookstore. I didn’t mind spending my time alone here, today was a less busy day. I was checking the list of newly arrived books when the door opened, making my eyebrows furrow.

“I’m sorry, we are doing inventory right now—” When I raised my head and looked at the person standing in the doorway, my blood boiled. Mingyu wore a long brown coat that reached his ankles, and he held a bag in his hands.

“Hi, sugar.” He said with a smirk as he walked further inside, my jaw clenched. I didn’t want to see him.

“We are closed.” I snapped as I went back to checking the list, ignoring Mingyu’s intense gaze.

“You weren’t answering my texts,” He said quietly and I rolled my eyes, “I brought lunch.”

“I’m not hungry.” I muttered as Mingyu stopped on the opposite side of the counter, placing the bag on top of it.

“You didn’t have lunch today.” Mingyu pressed and I sighed, finally looking at him. He looked fine, besides the slight wincing when he moved.

“My appetite has been gone for days…” I told Mingyu and he raised his eyebrows, glancing down at the inventory list.

“I saw your finals went good?” I nodded my head, looking away when he searched my eyes, “We can finally spend more time together. I was thinking we could go on a trip—”

“I’m working still.” I shut him up quickly, grabbing the bag, and placed it behind the counter, “I haven’t seen my parents in a long time, I want to visit them soon.”

“We can go together.” Mingyu offered with a grin and I hummed, not very keen of the idea.

“Yeah…I’d rather not present you to them…” I muttered as I turned around to grab the box of newly arrived books. Mingyu scoffed and I threw him a glance, he was glaring at me.

“Why not?”

I scoffed this time as I slammed the box on top of the counter, “Because we’ve barely been dating for four weeks? Why would I take you home when the relationship is so unstable?”

Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched, “What the hell are you saying?”

“You heard me.” I snapped as I opened the box with more force than necessary, glaring at Mingyu when he grabbed my wrist to get my attention. He hissed quietly at the sudden movement, pain painting his face for a second.

“What is your problem lately?” He snapped and I offered him an unamused smile.

“You are my problem,” I yanked my wrist out of his hold and for a second I felt bad as Mingyu winced, “I’m working, so please leave. The bookstore is closed for inventory.”

Mingyu scoffed and shook his head at me with a sneer, throwing me a glare before he turned around and stormed out of the bookstore. I sighed and leaned against the counter, closing my eyes. Is this the relationship I want? Constant fighting? Pent up frustration? No communication about my feelings? Since when did I become so closed off and unhealthy? Why do I feel for the first time like I’m inferior to a person?

           Irene and I got to stay later than the we usually would at the bookstore as our boss came around to give us our salary. He offered to give us a ride home as it was dark outside already, but Irene had to be somewhere, and I didn’t want to bother him. He lived on the other side of the city so I reassured my boss that I would be taking a cab home, so that he would let me leave. After he closed up, we bid our goodbyes to each other, and all three of us went our separate ways. I held onto my backpack as I walked down the street, inhaling the chilly air of the evening. It was refreshing and it didn’t bother me as I needed something to clear and ease up my mind. Finals were over, yet I was still stressed because of Mingyu. I didn’t know how to bring up everything that was bothering me and it was stressing me out more. As I sighed, shuffling behind me caught my attention and I peaked over my shoulder subtly to see a tall figure approaching me fast. My first instinct was to start running, until I realized it was Mingyu’s brown coat that was flapping around. I groaned and stopped walking, turning around to face him.

“Why are you following me?” I snapped once he approached me, his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s late, why are you walking home?” He asked, grabbing my backpack. I glanced down but didn’t let go of it.

“Because my shift is over, am I not supposed to go home?” Mingyu sighed and tugged on the backpack but I still held onto it, “I’m not giving it to you.”

“Would you have walked home if I didn’t show up to drive you?” I looked up at Mingyu with a grimace as he gave the backpack a harsh yank, almost pulling it out of my grip.

“I don’t want you to drive me home.” Mingyu just rolled his eyes before he stepped closer, forehead’s almost touching. I looked into his eyes instinctively, taken aback by his sudden closeness. His honey-like scent invaded my nostrils and I hated how it made me miss his touch. I didn’t even feel it when Mingyu untangled my fingers from the backpack, lost in his eyes, and he was already stepping away.

“Get in the car.” His voice was commanding as he left me standing on the sidewalk, his Mercedes a few feet away, parked where it wasn’t even allowed to. I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing I couldn’t just walk home now, so I went and sat in his car. My backpack was thrown in the back and the radio was turned off as I did my seatbelt, feeling Mingyu watching me. I didn’t look at him, I just turned my head to look outside the window and he started driving wordlessly. He wasn’t speeding like he usually would, he was driving at a slow tempo and it was pissing me off. He was doing it on purpose, prolonging our time together.

“I’m tired, I want to get home tonight, if that’s possible.” I snapped finally, biting the insides of my cheeks when Mingyu scoffed.

“Of course, you’re tired, sugar. Any excuse that gets you away from me is welcome.” I rolled my eyes but remained silent as Mingyu sped up just a little bit, changing lanes recklessly. I reached out to turn on the radio, but Mingyu’s strong grip made me stop and hiss.

“What are you doing.” I snapped and looked at him with a glare as I tried to free my wrist.

“Start talking, right now.” His jaw was clenched, stance stiff, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a tight line. I gulped and tried to tug my wrist away again, but Mingyu just held it stronger and I whined, pain surging up my arm.

“It hurts.” I muttered, but he didn’t react.

“Yeah, I’m hurting too, but you don’t see me whining like a fucking baby.” He snapped and I looked at him hurt, why was he making everything worse?

“Can you take my feelings into consideration for just one second?” I asked, eyebrows raising as Mingyu scoffed.

“You’re asking me to do that? What about you?”

“Why do you always turn everything I say around and blame me?” I exclaimed and a humorless chuckle left Mingyu’s lips.

“Because you always paint me as the bad guy!” He snapped back and I laughed, tugging my wrist finally away.

“Aren’t you the bad guy though?” I asked with a taunting chuckle, turning my body towards him as my eyes narrowed at Mingyu, “Everyone is telling me to stay away from you. Maybe they are right, maybe I’m starting to see what they’ve been warning me of. Maybe…it’s not late for me to walk away. Save myself from becoming another Momo.”

I gasped when Mingyu hit the brakes suddenly, sending us forward in the car. Loud honking came from around us and a few tire screeching sounds, but thankfully nothing worse happened. Mingyu’s eyes have darkened as he looked at me and I gulped, almost afraid. My heart was thumping wildly when he pulled over onto the side walk, the engine still running as he turned his whole body to look at me.

“What did you say?” Mingyu’s voice was low and a shiver ran over my skin. I almost looked away when his gaze found mine, but no, this was the timing I needed. Horrible, indeed, but if I didn’t tell him now, I wouldn’t later.

“I know everything about you and Momo, don’t even try to deny it. You played her, made her crazy—and you took me to their house? Knowing how she’d react seeing you there?!” My voice broke, emotions of shame and anger mixing, “You made me walk in there, waltz around—I’m fucking sick just thinking about it! And—and Sana! The way you treated me when she showed up? Do you think I’m a piece of shit you can push around, Mingyu? You call me your girlfriend but you let her be all over you? Kiss her on the corner of her mouth? In front of me? What game are you playing, huh?”

“I’m not playing any games, Y/N,” Mingyu growled out and I flinched when he swiftly grabbed my nape, pulling me closer, “Everything is in your head—”

“Oh, Momo being crazy is in my head?! You eye-fucking with Sana is just in my head?! You constantly pushing my needs away to satisfy yours are in my head?! Putting my life at risk by bringing me to the auction because you knew they planned to ambush you, is all in my head, right?!” I screamed at Mingyu, breathing hard and eyes filling with tears of anger, frustration, and hurt. He gaped at me, taken aback by my outburst, grip loosening on my nape.

“I—” He cleared his throat when his voice sounded weak, “I knew what I was doing—you—you would have never been hurt even if they proceeded with the ambush.”

I chuckled tiredly as tears escaped my eyes, my chest felt lighter and maybe the tears were of relief as I shook my head, “How can you know that?”

“I planned it.” Mingyu’s jaw clenched as he searched for my eyes.

“Like those two raids that got fucked because of you?” I whispered, biting my lower lip as I attempted to brush my tears off my cheeks. Mingyu’s face fell and he winced as he leaned closer, pulling me into a tight hug. He sighed and held me tighter when I didn’t return the hug, I didn’t have the energy, I was still crying silently.

“I would never put your life in danger if I didn’t know what I was doing.” Mingyu’s voice was filled with raw emotion and it made my heart clench, “I’m so sorry I made you feel like this…”

I hummed and weakly returned the hug, careful not to squeeze Mingyu as his wound was still fresh, “I’m so upset that you hid so many things from me. Why can’t you just tell me the truth? How can I trust you, Mingyu?”

“I promise to tell you everything from now on.” He reassured softly, running his hands down my back.

“You can’t even answer my texts, but you hang out with Sana instead of resting?” I scoffed and bit my lower lip, the tears have finally stopped falling, “How do you think it made me feel? I have never acted the way you do, around Vernon or Seungcheol, have I? I even told you they are like my brothers to remind you there was nothing going on between us. But you…I don’t know anymore. What if you’re sleeping with her behind my back? Why would you even be with me if Sana was there—”

“Stop.” Mingyu’s voice raised as he pulled back abruptly, holding my cheeks firmly, “Please stop saying so much non-sense, do you even hear yourself, sugar? I care for you so much; you can’t even imagine what it feels like. You are the only thing that fills up my mind. You’re constantly on my mind, so much, sometimes it drives me crazy. I would never—I will never do what I did to Momo to you, and I will never cheat on you or hurt you. Please, stop thinking it will happen. Just—trust me? Please, I will explain everything when this mess is over. Sana is just a person I’m doing business with and it’s a very important matter for SVT. I’m risking everything with this, please, don’t leave me when I need you most.”

I bit my lower lip again, refusing to tear up again, “I trust you. I’m just…so insecure. I want to trust you more but it’s hard when you switch from being like this into a person I don’t recognize.”

“I can’t show this side of me, the real me, to others, sugar. You have to learn to accept both, work with both. It’s still me at the end of the day, yeah?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows and I nodded wordlessly, finally letting myself melt into his touch. I missed him so much. I didn’t want us to get here. I should have voiced my fears a long time ago.

“I’m sorry, I—I’ll try to speak up about how I feel before it blows up. I just really suck at talking about my feelings.” I looked away and Mingyu smiled softly, leaning close to nuzzle his nose against mine.

“Yeah, you definitely need to stop doing that. I missed you a lot.” He muttered and I returned the smile, placing my hands on top of his.

“I missed you too,” I pressed my lips against his, warmness flooding my body at the sense of familiarity, “Stop leaning over the console, you’re hurting the wound.”

“It does hurt like a bitch.” Mingyu groaned as he pulled back, sitting back normally in his seat.

“You have to rest, okay?” I raised my eyebrows at him and he nodded with a grin, offering me his hand. I intertwined our fingers with a grimace, irritated by the smug look on his face.

“Stay with me tonight?” Mingyu asked and I looked at him wondering. Could I sleep over at his? No, Seungcheol would notice my absence and that would be bad. Maybe Mingyu could sleep over at my place?

I opened my mouth to answer him back, but his phone started ringing. With his left hand he took it off the dashboard and answered the call. I couldn’t hear what the person on the other line was saying, but it made Mingyu tense up, all tenderness gone from his expression. I watched him as he grew angry in just a few seconds, and I rubbed his knuckles with my fingers to reassure him a bit.

“Understood, I’ll be there.” He growled out and ended the call, throwing his phone back where it was. I raised my eyebrows as he threw me a look, shifting the gear into position.

“We need to make a quick stop, then we can go home and sleep.” He said as he started driving again, posture tense. I nodded and rested my head against the headrest, curious as to where we were headed. Mingyu drove at a high speed, but I remained silent. What has happened now?

Part 5