#the issue is accepting that you *need* it. the issue is acknowledging that you are overwhelmed with your life and cant do it on your own

[stringofswineteeth]

I know it's just a silly post, I'm not mad at anyone, I just take issue with some implications and am picking apart the post for recreation, not trying to start a fight.

This post circulates so much and it pisses me off

It reminds me of when people tell kids they can't *really* be stressed or upset or anything because they're too young for real problems.

Of how kids need to savor childhood and quit wishing to grow up because when they are an adult they will miss being a kid.

Kids are depirived of choice and freedom. Treated more like property than humans with rights.

Adults are expected to be hyper independent and saddled with extreme responsibility and consequences for not meeting expectations.

It's like how people say "if you don't respect me I won't respect you" meaning "if you don't treat me as an authority I won't acknowledge your humanity"

It is two different definitions of the same word. The kid wants the freedom to make their own decisions but would likely accept and appreciate guidance on how to execute plans to meet their goal. The adult would very likely not take kindly to being stripped of their right to make their own decisons, but is lacking support and the path to achieve the goals THEY DECIDED ON isn't clear as they would like.

Again, no hate to OP or anyone that relates to this post. It IS shitty that we aren't given support, I just don't like the positioning as opposition to a child wanting freedom. You can have both support and freedom, we should.

[ponkydraws]

Johnlock rant pt 2

You thought I was only gonna write Sherlock’s perspective? No. Anyway. John.

Spoilers + suggestive themes ahead.

You have been warned.

John is introduced as a character who has trust issues and is wary of the world, partially because of his PTSD. He is a retired soldier. He has seen it all. But as Mycroft remarks, “you’re not haunted by the war. You miss it.”

There is a very obvious difference in John’s reaction to Sherlock’s deduction and Mycroft’s deduction. He’s star struck when Sherlock does it, but when Mycroft does the same thing he glares at him and asks “who the hell are you?” Yes, the circumstances of the scenes obviously affect his reactions, but even with a dead woman on the ground in front of him he can’t help but praise Sherlock’s intellect, so clearly discomfort isn’t much of a factor. You could argue that John is being defensive on account of being scared, but Mycroft outwardly tells John “you don’t seem very afraid” and John simply says “you don’t seem very frightening”.

And to add onto this, Mycroft clearly has suspicions about their relationship and outwardly says so. John simply says “I barely know him, I met him…yesterday” and Mycroft says “Mm, and since yesterday you’ve moved in with him and now you’re solving crimes together. Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?” John doesn’t respond nor acknowledge the question, but asks “who are you?”. Mycroft simply assumes that the man Sherlock is living with is a romantic and/or sexual partner, meaning he’s not surprised at all by the idea that Sherlock would be in a relationship with a man.

When John asks what he wants he says that he wants information about Sherlock, but quickly adds “nothing indiscreet. Nothing you’d feel…uncomfortable with. Just tell me what he’s up to.” Which does sound like a polite way of saying that he doesn’t want nor need to know about what he gets up to behind closed doors (presumably with John, since he says nothing that JOHN would be uncomfortable with telling, not Sherlock), he just wants to check on how his brother is doing. The definition for indiscreet also is “having, showing, or proceeding from too great a readiness to reveal things that should remain private or secret” so I think it speaks for itself what he’s implying. He’s just an older brother who wants to make sure his younger brother is okay, but makes sure to inform John that he’s not interested in hearing about Sherlock’s sex life.

Other than that, Mycroft seems to genuinely like and respect John. He bids him farewell when leaving, asks him about his life, even if it’s just “what’s it like living with Sherlock?” And Mycroft clearly knows how much John means to Sherlock. They have this semi-brother in law situation going on

John has on multiple occasions risked his own life to save Sherlock’s. When Moriarty is threatening Sherlock, he throws himself at Moriarty and tells Sherlock to run. This is despite the knowledge that this would get himself killed & “if your sniper pulls that trigger, Mr Moriarty, then we both go up” and Moriarty mainly shows amusement, but still tells Sherlock “isn’t he sweet? I can tell why you like having him around.”

In the final problem, John agrees quite quickly that Sherlock should shoot him instead of Mycroft and takes it with stride. He does not fight it. He accepts that he has to die in order for Sherlock to live.

In the very first episode - I repeat - the very first episode, John shoots a man to death because Sherlock was in danger. What’s so interesting about this whole scene is that Sherlock was not under direct threat, he was choosing to take one of the pills but John shot the man anyway.

- Sherlock also realizes halfway through his deduction to the police that John is the one who shot the cabbie, and immediately takes back what he said about the murderer to keep John out of trouble. He does not care about John killing a man, he’s more worried about John’s well being. He even compliments him on the aim and the two of them walk away from the crime scene giggling like 12 year old girls.

John dates a string of women throughout the show although they always end up in some kind of bad ending. As stated in the previous rant, John’s girlfriends are sick of being less important than Sherlock. And if you’re really keen on details (which, you’re watching Sherlock, of course you are) you’ll find that one of the women he dates wears a coat that resembles Sherlock’s, and she pulls her collar up in the same way Sherlock does. Subconscious attraction? Neither does he actually find a long term relationship until he believes that Sherlock is DEAD, and it takes him 2 whole years to even try to move on with his life (but only needed 2 months for Mary’s passing?)

Now, John is a jealous and protective man. Even more outwardly so than Sherlock is. Mycroft even comments on it when they meet for the very first time - “you are VERY loyal, VERY quickly.” he notes as he makes a face that implies even he is surprised about how sure John is of his decision. When faced with a naked Irene Adler and Sherlock in the same room, he actively interrupts their conversation to get in the way. He passively aggressively tells Irene to put some clothes on and then remains skeptical of her for the entire episode. When they’re talking another time he also interrupts and making an unamused joke about baby names.

He displays a sense of protective behavior when he meets Irene again after Sherlock’s alleged “heartbreak” and gets outright mad at her for treating him like that. He even shouts at her despite Irene not showing any aggressive behavior “WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY SAY? YOU’VE TEXTED HIM A LOT”. Speaking of the texts from Irene, John not only is the only one to point out the text notification noise but also admits to actively counting the amount of messages Sherlock has received, which, yeah a handful would’ve been acceptable but this man kept track of 57 NOTIFICATIONS on a phone that’s not his. (This isn’t really a real point but someone joked about how Sherlock asks John “what noise?” When John addresses the moaning text notifications despite knowing very well what noise he’s talking about, as if he’s expecting him to repeat it or something. Not really relevant but it made me laugh)

In this conversation with Irene, he admits to having no clue what Sherlock’s sexuality is, quote: “who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes, but, for the record, if anyone out there still cares, I’m not actually gay”. Irene responds with “well I am. Look at us both”. Which earns a defeated scoff from John. Irene asks John if he’s jealous about her texting Sherlock so much, John does not answer the question but tells her “we’re not a couple” to which Irene immediately says “yes you are” without even looking up at him. John does not fight back, but makes a vague nod and leaves it at that.

John repeatedly tells various characters that he is not gay - but only that. He never says that he’s not attracted to men, he’s not attracted to Sherlock or anything like that. No. He just says he’s not gay. Bisexuality is a thing. He could very well be a closeted bisexual who struggles a little with accepting it. It’s possible that his lesbian sister wasn’t treated with respect by the family and that has caused some inner turmoil, but that’s a fan theory we’re not going to get into right now

John also seems to be the only one thinking about how gay they look in certain situations. After saving John’s life, John says “I’m glad nobody saw that. You…ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool, people might talk.” As if he didn’t almost just literally explode. A near death experience leaving him weak in the knees and he’s thinking about how people will think he and Sherlock were getting it on in a darkened swimming pool? Okay, buddy. This also goes for when they’re running from the police handcuffed to each other and Sherlock tells John “take my hand!” To which John says “now they’ll definitely talk.” I would argue that if you are constantly thinking about how gay certain things you do with your best friend are and how people will talk, maybe people aren’t the ones who should reevaluate themselves, maybe you are, seeing as you’re having gay thoughts even when fearing for your own life.

Oh and we haven’t even gotten into the pool scene. I don’t know if it was accidental but when Sherlock undoes John’s jacket to get rid of the bombs, he gets on his knees in front of John - who leans his head backwards as Sherlock looks up at him. Then afterward he’s so visibly weak in the knees he has to sit down to even talk. All of this is filmed from behind Sherlock. They could’ve filmed it in any other way. But that’s what they chose? Okay. Totally doesn’t remind me of anything else or anything.

When Sherlock is pretending to be dating Janine, John seems so genuinely out of it. He watches Sherlock and Janine make out with widened eyes, before turning around to stare at the wall with a disgusted and horrified expression on his face. He can’t even pretend to not be shocked, he barely manages to keep himself together and is outwardly very awkward when talking to them. Janine offers that they should have dinner together sometime soon and John just goes “yeah, great. Dinner. Yeah.” With a halfassed smile on his face as if he can’t bring himself to even mimic regular conversation. Once Janine has left, Sherlock starts talking to John about a case. John is not listening. When Sherlock stops talking John just goes “…you have a girlfriend?” And Sherlock seems surprised and confused by the question, since he had already moved on from that conversation. Sherlock confirms that yes, he does have a girlfriend. John still can’t properly process the information and asks again “right, yeah, but…you…you are in a relationship?” Despite already being told the answer.

When Sherlock proposes to Janine, John looks shocked. But it morphs into something else. He looks at Sherlock with a horrified expression, his eyebrows furrowed together in disbelief and his mouth hanging slightly open. This is not the face of someone who is shocked in a good way. It’s the face of someone who just got a metaphorical gut punch. The camera even shifts focus from the ring to John staring at it with a hardened expression, then to staring at Sherlock with a shocked and mildly pleading look.

He also punches an officer in the face for calling Sherlock a “weirdo”. When Sherlock hands him an itemized list of Mary’s enemies he doesn’t even look twice but one vague insult to Sherlock and he gives the man a bloody nose and gets arrested as well - Sherlock taunts him a little with his “joining me?” Comment but seems genuinely a little impressed when he finds out why John is also being taken into custody.

When getting drunk together (which, Sherlock was the only one who John spent his bachelor party with), they get wasted and start to play a game of Who Am I? They’re weirdly gentle and soft with each other, making playful jabs and breaking down into laughter at each other’s statements. Sherlock, who has a note on his forehead that says “Sherlock Holmes”, asks John “am I important?” To which John responds “uh, to some people” and smiles. Sherlock asks “do people like me?” And John says “uh, no, they don’t. You tend to rub them up the wrong way.” And then rests his head on his hand while he lovingly gazes at Sherlock and chuckles at his own statement with a look of love that looks like one you’d give a lover when they’re being cute. John asks Sherlock “am I pretty?” And then follows up with “this” and points to the note on his forehead. Basically this is John asking if he’s pretty, then having to specify that he meant the person Sherlock picked, and not actually himself, as if he was expecting Sherlock to call him pretty without understanding the question was meant for the game. Sherlock does not answer the question, but rather goes on a drunken mini rant about how beauty is a social construct based on culture and John interrupts him saying “yeah, but, am I a pretty lady?”

Sherlock remains quiet, squints at John’s note and then admits “I have no idea who you’re supposed to be”. John rolls his eyes and tells him “you chose the name!” But isn’t genuinely upset, just amused. With his drunken stumbling, he also loses his balance when shifting his sitting position and grabs onto Sherlock’s leg for support. Sherlock doesn’t react. The two of them later fall asleep next to each other on the bottom of the stairs, babbling about nonsense. Mind you, John couldn’t sleep comfortably in a warm bed next to Mary, but had no trouble finding peace when laying down on the fucking stairs next to Sherlock.

During this same evening, John has to interfere and physically drag Sherlock away from a drunk fight at the pub. Same goes for when Sherlock is drugged by Irene, where John comes into the room and promptly grabs ahold of Sherlock and pushes him back onto the bed telling him “I’ll be in the next room if you need me” Sherlock groggily replies with “why would I need you?” And John simply says “no reason” and shuts the door.

Oh also John and Sherlock got locked up together in the same drunk tank. How cute is that?

And oh my god the fucking sexual tension between these two makes me feel like I’m interrupting something intimate. Even in the first episode, Sherlock asks John if he’d seen a lot of violent death. John goes “yeah, plenty. Far too much. For a lifetime.” And when Sherlock then asks “would you like to see some more?” John replies with a breathless “oh god, yes.” The same tone can be detected in the 1800s episode an exchange between Sherlock and John, where John tells Sherlock “ah, ah, ah, Holmes, you have misdiagnosed”. Sherlock lowly says “then correct me, doctor” and gives him such obvious “fuck me” eyes that I felt embarrassed watching the scene with my dad. The episode also includes John asking about Sherlock’s libido - no - I am not joking. And here’s the kicker. None of this is real, it’s all happening inside of Sherlock’s subconscious. So my question is, why does Sherlock’s subconscious make up scenes where his platonic best friend is asking him about certain urges and speaking to him with a flirty tone?

John also has a habit of letting his eyes drop to Sherlock’s lips when talking to him, or straight up licking his lips when Sherlock reveals he’s single (in the pilot). They look into each other’s eyes for just a littleeee too long for it to feel friendly.

This is just me being a little bit of an annoying fan who misinterprets everything but Eurus asks Sherlock to play the violin for her. He does, but she stops him saying “no, not Bach. Play you.” And Sherlock starts playing another tune. She blurts out “oh! Have you had sex?” And Sherlock simply goes “why do you ask?” Again, not answering the question. Obviously that question is a bit strange to ask your older brother when you haven’t even seen him since the two of you were little kids and he doesn’t remember you exist, but, once again he doesn’t feel the need to confirm or deny. I see a lot of people saying this is a hint to Irene, and it probably is, but I personally find it more likely he’d hypothetically find time to get into…adult contact…with someone he lives with. But that’s sidetracking. Anyway.

[im-smart-i-swear]

coming back home.

@barrenclan

[bookshelfdreams]

.

[kavehater]

Guys what does non sharing self shipper mean bc surely that doesn’t mean you’re 100% gatekeeping the chara if you’re consuming content others made ?? Like ;; bc if you gatekeeping said character, that means you gotta acknowledge the fact others thought of that chara in those situations yk ?

Like idk what I am, but I’m very very very particular abt my characterisation of kaveh. The only Kaveh I like is canon kaveh. And canon kaveh is the same kaveh in my head even tho obviously I extend his character a fair bunch in my mind. Obvi,, cause nobody gets him like I do fellas 😞 and I say this with so much faith cause istg nobody does 😓 it kinda makes me a tad annoyed if I do see someone claiming that he’s their fave BUT NOT FOR THE REASON YOU THINK OK ! it’s bc ppl ALWAYS mischaracterise him.

it’s SO annoying I swear … like UGH I just had to have the character I like sm be a fan favourite who gets his image dragged to smithereens to the point he’s irrecognisable …

like do NAWT play with me — Kaveh ain’t no twink 😭 he’s also not a damsel in distress … HE ALSO ISNT PAYING RENT BY DOING THE NASTY WITH ALHAITHAM FUCK YOU ALL 😭 and he doesn’t do shit with alhaitham argue with the wall and fuck you again for good measure.

And I swear if I hear someone say he’s dumb … I’m in your walls. I’m in your ceilings. And I’m gonna hocus pocus you to last century where the existence of Kaveh never was. So stfu before I do black magic on your sorry ass 😭

[databent]

why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on

[homophyte]

mmhhgm 2 AM thinking about HRT…………..perhaps my urgency is influenced by the belief that my transness only becomes acceptable after certain parameters are met and that it is in some way inappropriate to present myself as a trans person while being pretransition . something radical about the exposure of the whole process instead of being one of those instagram transes who pop into existence 7 years on T and post top surgery

[hanszoe]

this is little-known but "up to interpretation" seems to come from cisnormative speculation from the social media manager of kodansha usa in 2013. it should be known that kodansha usa made further implicitly transphobic comments on the issue, were maliciously compliant with isayama's correction to them that their pronouns should be gender neutral, and still have not corrected hansi's pronouns in volume 5, so their stance is clear. though isayama once responded to a fan who was being pushy about viewing nanaba as male saying he doesn't like the categorization of every aspect of appearance or behavior into gender roles/categories, it seems to me to come from a deeper frustration that the act of this categorizing serves to impose a further expectation of gendered behavior/roles onto a character. other than that he has never said anything about "up to interpretation", in fact he went back on his own words here confirming armin is male (if that even needed saying) and nanaba is female, and if we consider hansi a full person with interiority they would of course have their own sense of gender identity and physical sex, which isayama has remained committed to depicting as "with a feeling of freedom that [they] cannot be put into a category". with the nature of fandom and these things not being "confirmed" one way or another it's fine to interpret hansi physically as perisex female, intersex, perisex male etc., but ultimately there is little consideration for who they are in canon which is contributive to the problem because they have already been erased so much.

a lot of men's sexually abusive depictions of hansi are "payback" because of them hating men and testicular torture of sannes for example in canon. "thankfully" this is not very common anymore, the majority of the issue surrounding hansi is that they were already feminized for the anime adaptation by character deisgner asano kyoji (levihan necessitating cisheterosexuality was immensely popular and seemed to be so within the industry as well judging by takahiro kimura's illustration of them) and only weren't completely because of araki tetsuro's interpretation of them as male, masafumi mima's direction for their voice as not female, and isayama's own attempts at opposing this decision through his notes on their design. this of course plays into an already very cisheteronormative society who instead of recognizing hansi being feminized against their author's will as an actual issue, will return to the same "it's up to interpretation", "i can do what i want in fandom" arguments to avoid acknowledging that and reflecting on their own behavior.

thank you for making this post, i already accepted that accurate and considerate depiction of hansi as they are in canon and seen by their author is nonexistent and a losing fight, to be fair it requires an understanding of queer theory, but what a disservice to this character who said over and over "if there's something [we] don't know we should go to find out", who was so committed to understanding those around them including their own attackers and murderers, who always showed mercy where it was undeserved.

the dehumanization, feminization & sexualization of hange

first, i want to start off with saying; i know hange's gender is up to the reader and their interpretation. despite that, this is something i'd like to discuss since it's not very talked about in the fandom.

i don't care if anyone sees hange as a female or feminine in any sense, i just want to shed light on the fandom's obsession with sexualizing and dehumanizing them when they are portrayed as feminine.

tw: r4p3, abuse, misogyny & other triggering things that are talked about below

category 1

- often, when you see hange being protracted as a woman, or feminine they are most often babied, in a way. they aren't taken as seriously or are over-sexualized to the point where it's gross.

- it's most likely often to appeal to the male fans who enjoy seeing hange in this light.

category 2

- people who fit into this category just like to see women suffer, although hange's gender is up for interpretation.

- you'll see hange being abused in a sexualized way (most likely in r34), beaten, tortured, r4p3d or worse.

- this is most often to appeal to the weird fans who just like to dehumanize women and or another unknown reason.

category 3

- this is the last category, the one where hange is just portrayed this way to fit into the dynamics or "social norms" of a hetrosexual ship. example: levihan (levi x hange)

- the same things that i have stated above likely happen in this situation but worse.

- the man that hange is shipped with will be glorified while they on the other hand are kinda pushed off to the side. only needed to (example) make babies, have s3x or something else entirely.

i don't want to make this too long so i'll end it here, what do you think? these are observations that i've made during my 6 long years in the aot fandom.

[strohller27]

.

[skeleton-monarch]

yknow if we want to get anywhere we have to start ignoring the things we dislike for petty reasons. if the answer to “is this causing anyone harm” is no, then try and ignore it. discomfort is not necessarily harm btw.

[foxxsong]

I get not understanding neopronouns. I totally understand if people with developmental or intellectual disorders need to avoid people that use them because they can't wrap their brain around them enough to use them right or find having to think about them long enough to use the right one, when they very literally are incapable of understanding, distressing. Competing access needs are a morally neutral thing that I will never judge anyone for.

But to go on to talk about how despite this you respect neopronouns EXCEPT (plain text: except) it/its? If you feel the need to clarify that you don't have an issue with most of them, but want to single people like me out specifically? Trauma is understandable, and I know people with those disorders are in particular susceptible to being referred to that way cruelly, but you can just... not mention us.

Literally everything they shared was FINE (plain: fine) up to that point. But singling us out and saying you'll never respect our pronouns specifically - when you could've just not mentioned us at all - does in fact make you an asshole. Having trauma and saying that people that identify with something that was used to hurt you means you don't have to respect them makes you an asshole. Just don't fucking mention us and avoid us like you JUST (plain: just) said you can do fine with every other neopronoun user. You do not have to sit there and list off all the reasons you will never respect us specifically!!

I/DD people have so many limitations that most people just refuse to try to understand and take seriously. If someone struggles to not talk badly about things they find upsetting or confusing because of having an I/DD then that's one thing. People upset by it can block and move on because harassing someone who cannot change is cruel. But you don't get to demonstrate and self-proclaim that you CAN (plain: can) respect and avoid and move on for other people and then turn around and go out of your way to single a specific group out and talk about how horrible their identity is and act like that's somehow acceptable.

Literally, just shut up and do not talk about us. We KNOW (plain: know) people hate our pronouns. We KNOW (plain: know) there are people who do not respect our choice to use them. We KNOW (plain: know) there are people who will just never call us by them no matter what. We don't need people fucking going out of their way to single us out while defending how they respect everyone else like us. That makes you an asshole.

[askshivanulegacy]

It's not "evil" to have investments. It's not "evil" to have a 401K, and it's not "evil" to have investments outside of that. It's normal. It's perfectly fine and it's practical if you have the ability to do it.

Are people honestly saying you should NOT use the money you have efficiently? That you should NOT do whatever is in your capability to secure a safe and reliable retirement? That you should, as consequence, work forever until you drop and never take advantage of systems that are meant to provide for you?

This type of thing is entirely non-ethical. Financial investment is NOT tied to the concept of ethical judgement. It is neither morally "good" nor morally "bad." It is a tool you can use for yourself to provide for yourself. This is especially important because no one else is going to do it for you or hold your hand. Most jobs aren't offering retirement, and the ones that do aren't necessarily reliable. You need to look after yourself.

It's entirely your own personal choice if you want to make up the idea that investments are "evil," and therefore create a fake moral high ground to not take care of yourself and to manufacture fake guilt trips for people who are doing that. But the people with sense are going to ignore that, and they're going to have something at the end of the day and you are not.

You are not evil because you have investments or retirement accounts.

Telling poor people that signing up for a 401K makes them evil is not praxis you stupid, stupid motherfucker.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Another Confessional Essay

Originally posted June 21st, 2017

If you’ve ever read my writing before, you can probably tell that I’m not that not a fan of the “confessional essay” style that’s become immensely popular on the internet in the last few years. To be perfectly honest, except for a few rare instances where this style of essay is brilliantly crafted and fits the subject matter incredibly well, I tend to find these essays boring and lacking any real substance.

The exceptions that I love are generally essays that relate deeply personal experiences and tie them back effectively to a main point, as in people of color writing about their personal experience with racism, trans people describing their experiences growing up and how they discovered the truth about who they are, or abuse victims describing their experience with abuse and its effects on their lives.

The topic I need to write about fits the second of those three, and so despite not being a fan of the format, and despite preferring to keep my essays and my journaling eternally separate, I need to use the format. Because right now, I am stuck with a burning realization that I don’t know any other way to process: I don’t know how to be a woman.

Now, I’m going to follow that statement by making clear everything that I’m not saying by that. I am not saying that I’m not a woman, I am one and have always been one. I also do on a certain level know “how” to be a person who is accepted as a woman, and I know of many models for womanhood that I could embrace and follow if I desired.

But I don’t want to be any of those women.

The problem here isn’t that I don’t know of ways to be a woman, the problem is that I genuinely don’t know how I am supposed to be both myself and a woman, both in the sense of feeling that my own self is fully womanly and being able to be accepted as a woman without changing who I fundamentally am.

What’s ironic about this is that I have no such confusion about what kind of girl that I am. I know exactly who 6-year-old Jacqueline is, who 13-year-old Jacqueline is, who 16-year-old Jacqueline is. I can envision who I would’ve been growing up a girl at each of those ages, and when I need to feel more feminine, regressing my mind into one of those younger ages and embracing my girlish immaturity makes me feel more secure in my gender identity than anything else possibly can.

But I have no such retreat within my present. I genuinely don’t have a feminine adult headspace that I can turn to when I need to both feel like my adult self and a woman at the same time. Perhaps this is the dysphoric effect of living in a house for over half a year where no one will openly acknowledge your gender identity, and I’ve even arguably come close to creating such a headspace through the persona I’ve crafted for my work as an online tech support advisor, but that persona, as convincingly feminine as it usually is, breaks down whenever​ I need to analyze something critically, take charge of a situation, or even just feel any emotion that isn’t overwhelmingly positive.

More than that though, even in the space where I feel the most creatively free, writing criticism, I don’t feel like I’m able to convincingly write in my own voice and simultaneously write in a voice that makes me clearly appear to be a woman. Now, I’m not saying that all women writers sound a specific way, nor should they, all I am saying is that there are certain styles of writing that project femininity significantly better than others, and that those styles clash inherently with my own style of writing.

Take this essay, for instance. I’m attempting to write in as close to the style of the confessional essay as I can muster, but even with a topic as personal as this my tone has been rigid and commanding, and it only shows the frustration that I’m feeling, not the sadness, insecurity, or hopelessness that I’m feeling in genuinely not having a clue what I should do about it. A good confessional essay would’ve shown all those emotions through with its writing style, but my default writing style is taking over my ability to write here, and I sound nothing like the confessional essay I’m drawing inspiration from.

It’d be one thing if I just couldn’t adapt my writing style to another format though. I know my writing style is rigid, but in general I like the way it makes me come across. What upsets me though is that me not being able to adapt my style to function as a confessional essay means that I cannot adapt my writing style to a more “feminine” style of writing, even as I try to do so now.

If you don’t believe that, just ask yourself, each time I’ve mentioned confessional essays, who have you pictures as the authors?

I know that I’ve only been picturing women, or people close to women on the spectrum of gender.

Now think about everything I’ve written here, the writing style I’ve used, and the way I’ve presented my information​.

What voice have you been hearing in your head as you’ve read through it?

You don’t need to answer that.

It’s been a man’s voice.

And I don’t know how to change that.

Critical Eye Criticism is the work of Jacqueline Merritt, a trans woman, filmmaker, and critic. You can support her continued film criticism addiction on Patreon.

[wilwheaton]

So, of course, the question is: What exactly can Democrats do here? Unfortunately, it seems like the current consensus within the Democratic Party is to lean further to the center. Which is a conclusion you can only come to if you ignore everything Trump supporters have been saying since 2016. Not only will they happily follow Trump down any section of the political compass he chooses, but they will also lash out at anything and everything Democrats do. If Harris had spent the summer literally repeating everything Trump said, she still would have lost because she’s a Democrat. No viral podcaster is going to fix that reputation problem. As Peter Shamshiri, the co-host of the podcast “If Books Could Kill,” opined in an episode this month, marijuana legalization is currently a bipartisan issue across the country, but if Democrats had run on it this year, it no longer would be. And it doesn’t seem like Democrats have really digested, yet, exactly how badly their brand has been tarnished. There is simply nothing they could have offered that Trump voters would have accepted for the simple fact it was coming from Democrats. Which is an existential problem, to be sure, but not an insurmountable one. Instead of trying to pander to a group of voters who, at least right now, will never vote for them, the Democrats need to spend their four-year walkabout igniting a base of their own. They need to come to terms with the fact that the slick, corporate, pop-star-laden Obama era is well and truly dead. Conservatives hate them and young progressives don’t trust them. Democrats can’t reverse their fortunes if they don’t acknowledge this fundamental problem. And while they’re at it, they might want to consider finding a candidate liberals and progressives like as much as conservatives like Trump.

There is nothing the current Democratic Party can offer Trump supporters

[scribefindegil]

When you encounter a person who does not do something that you consider normative, you need to understand that they could be either stating a barrier or expressing a boundary. A barrier is "I would like to partake of the normative activity, but I can't due to other factors." A boundary is "I have made a decision not to participate in the normative activity."

Many people do not believe that boundaries actually exist! This is why it's so common to give a clear "No" on an issue and get inundated with people saying "But have you tried-" They can't conceptualize that anyone might actually want to avoid X thing, so they assume that you totally want to do X and you would love X so much if only they could figure out a way around whatever pesky obstacle is getting in your way. But humanity contains multitudes, and for any given experience you consider vital for happiness I promise there are people who are Just Not Interested.

If someone is stating a boundary, do NOT talk about how sad their life must be, and do NOT try to push them! Just accept that their life experience is very different from your own, and isn't that a beautiful thing?

Barriers are different. Barriers suck. With boundaries, the only problem is other people being dicks. With barriers, the problem is the barrier itself . . . and probably, additionally, people being dicks. There's really not a way to win in the people being dicks department when you don't do something that other people have decided is Necessary For Humaning.

If someone is talking about a barrier they face, still don't talk about how sad their life must be, although it's fine to commiserate with a friend if they're complaining. It's hard! Some barriers are pretty insurmountable; the person might not ever get to do X even though they want to. And a lot of people don't believe that this kind of barrier exists either; we're very much taught that you can do anything if you try hard enough, when that is simply not true. If someone tells you that they can't do something, listen to them and respect that.

The only reason for not doing X that people really acknowledge as real are the surmountable barriers. And these are real, but even in these cases you should always assume that the person knows themself best and not give advice unless they've specifically asked for it. But if they have asked, it's chill to try to brainstorm solutions with them.

As someone who has both things going on, it really sucks that people tend to assume that everything is a) a barrier issue and b) that they personally have the solution to it. Don't do this.

The only way you can tell if something is a boundary or a barrier is to listen to people and believe them.

Example:

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "No thanks . . . I haven't really found anything that I like yet," (barrier, potentially surmountable) it is probably cool to ask them if they're open to trying something new, and if they say yes ask about their tastes to try to find a drink they would enjoy! They might like it or they might not.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I can't, it interacts with my meds," (barrier, insurmountable) you can say, "Aw, that sucks!" and offer them something nonalcoholic.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I don't drink," (BOUNDARY) you should give them a mocktail and shut the fuck up.

[sirenmoontarot]

A letter from your Future Self 📜🪽

𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌?

𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

Group 1

Okay guys for this group i am sensing your future self wants you to understand the importance of the unseen right now in your life, the unseen powers, the etheric guidance you receive, clairvoyant, intuitive hits. The power of the unseen forces in your life.Your future self is telling you that the apparent dead ends in your current road have an important and necessary purpose, they are meant to be. You have a vision, and its important you become more conscious about it, about your sense of purpose, some of you felt it since very young, and if not, try to know yourself more, to de depth to understand what drives you. All that is happening now, is leading you to your vision, and to your purpose here, and much more you cant yet see, this is the biggest theme here, being led to where you really cant see, all the detours, road ends, side paths... all is subtly and succesfully leading you to where you need to be. Some of you guys have important father issues, you have to acknowledge these issues and start healing them. You have to become your own parent, a nurturing one, and use the masculine energies to hold and support your vision. The masculine energy inside of us is very important, it also help us protect ourselves, defend what is important for us, sutain us and our projects, responsibility, etc. You need nurutirng, again, this is very important for you. The nurturing side of the archetypal father energy. You lack and need a strong healed masculine energy. Nurture, balance and heal the masculine in yourself, it will help you to find a suitable partner with healed masculine energies. you must allow changes to come to your life. you msut trust in the power of syncronity, in order to fruition your goals. For some of you guys, you are really encouraged on just focusing and working on your present time, your gudes are like, winking at you and just giving you the present moment certainty because its the only way you could make things work right now, everything else is blurred so you focus on what youhave to focus till the fog disappears! And a very different and exciting landscape will be in front of your eyes. Work on celebration, celebration of this present moment, gratitude, engage more with the people around you, finx excuses to gather or celebrate a party.

Thank you for reading dear group number 1 🤍 Lots of blessings 🦋see you in next PAC readings 🪽⭐️

𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

Group 2

Okay guys, in this group, damn the messages are getting are so deep T.T. Your future self is calling for you to literally melt into oneness, in order to release, find divine acceptance, forgive, and then, let it go, let it fade into the light, let it destroy itself even. This is also a message of, closing the doors of past traumas, finding closure, in order to finally end them, to end the ways they influence your life right now, because they are not benefitting you. I keep hearing ‘’destroy’’. Maybe some of you have to give yourselves the liberating power of saying ‘’not again’’, of getting mad, of feeling the rage that initiates the fire to let all that that needs to be destroyed, burn. Rage initiates change. Sometime it is good and it is called sacred rage for a reason. Maybe some of you have supressed anger for a long time and, specially your true feelings for so long, trying ti behave, trying to react and behave in the proper way. For some of you this is a huge rock, tied to your foot that doesnt let you advance. How could you dance trhoguh life with such thing attached to your foot. It is time you claim your sovereignity, your power, it is time to do so and only you can do it. You are not meant to carry these stuff that holds you, you are meant to decide, choose for your life and embrace all your power, some of you are scared of that. Now for this group you are also encouraged to heal the mother energies, the mother wound, and integrate this aspect, healthily in your subconscious. Mohtering yourself, your inner child, the aspect of the mother energies that is capable of supporting you, holding you, loving you unconditionally while you are transiting this time is the one you need. You need not to feel alone and unsupported by yourself.

Your future self is telling you to call in the Queen archetype, the queen energies, the worthy, the one that knows her value, her deservingess, her power, she is sovereign, she chooses her own life, she knows what she wants, she has no doubts, she doesnt believe in ‘’no’’, i feel some of you in this group, restrict or have restricted yourselves a lot and your future self is telling you noooo dont do that. Embody this powerful archetype and believe all you want you can have and you will have because that is how the Queen believes so, eveyrthing is possible for her. Having a safe space is important but do not constrain yourself, do not put too many limits on yourself, for example you might be a bit shy, and you think it is okay etc, but at some point you will have to grow and for some situations you will have to need not to be so shy, it is just an example, it is not wrong to be shy, but the thing is that, for some of you, your path requires you to grow certain aspects for certain situations that you are not comfortable with.

Thank you for reading dear group number 2 🤍 Lots of blessings 🦋see you in next PAC readings 👑🍰

𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

Group 3

Your future self is telling you is to stray from the enrgies of self judgment, be midnful how you use this archetype within you, if its limiting you. You are very wise, you have a lot of discernment, a lot of knowledge of the truth, but you need to stop the internal judge. And i am getting lush mountain vibes, you have to connect with your inner queen energy, again this archetype is coming up in this reading, like in the group two but in this case, this archetype might be less alien to you. You are called to own your sovereignity, self worth and the belief in your power and ability. You are called to do so, and to also find your own personal temple, some of the people on this group have gone trhough insane big internal changes, for you the time is for rest and restoration now. Your future self is telling you that you have worked so hard and that you need this period now. Your future self wants you to engage in more recreational, enjoyful non productive activities, stop working so hard for a while you deserve this rest and restoration. And very importantly, Love. Ahh love is essential, I feel the energies are telling you guys, that you are born warriors, you fight for your causes, it is in your core, however you are being called to, embrace the heart energies, connect to your dreams, connect to love. Not everything has to be a fight… put the warrior energies at rest. You have to understand what youre going trhough, face your shadow, your darkness. And love is a big theme here in the sense of, a positive influence that will come in your lives, you need to work on your relations, add more love into your life, allow love into your life.The big changes you went trhough or are going trhough are revolving your deepest roots. A need to reassess your fights, endeavours, a need to become more serious and awake about what is important to you, and to connect to your heart more and give it more space and presence in your life with healthy, meaninful positive relationships, let yourself love.

Thank you for reading dear group number 3🤍 Lots of blessings 🦋see you in next PAC readings 💘☁️

𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

Alla 𓇬 @sirenmoontarot