#the intention is to add a scene like this to one of my existing fics

[itriedwritingandhereiam]

Bruce: *visibly tired, 'tis the wee hours of the morning

Bruce: *spots Marinette

Bruce: Good morning....

Marinette: *with matching dark circles and slumped posture

Marinette: hn

Bruce: *trying to figure out which child this is

Bruce: What's your name again

Marinette: Marinette

Bruce: ∘ ∘ ∘ ( °ヮ° ) ?

Bruce:Would you like some coffee? I'm going to pour myself a cup

Marinette: sure, merci beaucoup Monsieur Wayne.

Bruce: Please, call me Bruce. Or Dad?

Marinette: Sure thing Dad.

*they both sip their mugs

Damian: Dupain-Cheng why are you awake

Marinette:Hi Damian, 'was just having coffee with Monsieur- euh, Dad

Damian: *visibly confused

Damian: Have you finally lost it

Bruce: That's no way to speak to your sister, Damian

Damian: she is not my sister

Bruce: I thought we were past the whole blood-

Damian: Dupain-Cheng has two parents back in Paris, France; I assure you, Father. Stop trying to adopt her into your hoard. The manor is cramped enough

Bruce:*looks at Marinette

Bruce: You're...not...my child?

Marinette: Euh.....no?

Bruce: But you called me Dad

Marinette: you asked me to

Bruce: I thought you were my child!

Marinette: I feel like that says more about you than it does me

ao3 link

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

How to Writing multiple characters in a scene!!

Writing tips w/ Sunny (part 1, because I ramble and im positive ill end up doing this again if people want or for my own satisfaction)

This is just my methodology put in a way I think makes sense, if this doesnt apply to you thats okay everyone has different stradegies that work for them <33

SO lets begin.

"Rules" of writing multi character scenes + arcs, (First half is how to add them into a scene, second half is maintaining and not letting them vanish)

AHEM- Well there are four ways to place a character in a scene

Narration POV Aka the protagonist, this is the perspective ever present unless you CLARIFY the story is now through the lens of another character (Take for example my fic, while I play with multiple perspectives- a bulk is from Tims POV)

Secondary POV This is the character that DIRECTLY interacts with the narrator aka their "first point of contact" so to speak, they ground the narrator in the scene as not alone and is actually interacting with other people. (This DOES NOT have to be a speaking role, it can be purely observational if need be- but its the character that gets the most attention via the narrators perspective SIDE NOTE- THIS CAN SWITCH AS WELL)

Interactive POV Now we get to the "filling"- since Secondary doesn't need a direct tie to the narrator, you can have another character interact with the secondary character. But since they are not the focus of the scene its good to have a REASON they "Enter" or else if you spend so long giving the narrators perspective on #2 then you risk having someone "Materialize" in thin air. (This isnt really a concern unless you wait too long into the scene to go "Oh this guy exists-" you have time as you paint the reader a picture of the new enviornment/scene)

Enviorment POV Last but most certainly not least (and the one i've seen people struggle with the most) is the character that is PRESENT A N D NAMED- But serves no plot importance/relevance (to the narrator) during the opening part of the scene.

To put in better perspective- think of being in a room, The Narrator is you observing your surroundings (depending on POV style how "into the mind" of the narrator we go)

Secondary is the person you focus on, you hear their conversation, see their body language, expression, clothing, etc. They are the personal "focus" (there can be multiple as well)

Interactive is people SURROUNDING the focus, those who still play a semi active and visible role. They can either be within your line of sight interacting with the enviorment or speaking to a secondary/narrator character.

Enviorment is the person in the back of class that you know, but don't really register unless they do/say something- but you are still AWARE of their presence. CAREFUL NOT TO INTRODUCE THEM TOO LATE, OR ELSE YOU HAVE THE "MATERIALIZE" PROBLEM AGAIN

Now into a scene(aka recycling an old one)

Tim starred ahead silently from his side of the couch, watching Jason fidget with the soda tab on his shitty off brand Doctor Pepper he always insisted on getting. Around and around over and over, it was giving him second hand anxiety.

Thankfully they weren't forced to stay in the moment as Dick leaned over and pressed his shoulder into Jasons with a beaming smile "Oh come on it'll be fun"!

"Says you golden boy" Steph teased, half hanging off her chair and a foot almost knocking over Cass chip bag, only stopped by the fact Duke snatched it and moved it further along the table.

Well at least Damian seemed to be reacting rationally, seeming intent on slouching in on himself the more Dick tried to pull him and Jason together into a "group hug". It was a wonder his arms could even reach that far- even more so that they were still intact.

But Jason, like the rest of them, was weak to Dicks puppy dog eyes. Tim saw the moment he gave up a losing battle and his shoulders slumped in defeat, though his scowl ever present. "If I say yes will you fuck off"

"Ah ah language, we have children here"! Dick gasped, placing his ears on Damians ears which only earned him a snarl in return.

"I don't think Damian counts as a kid- and I just turned 16 which is basically an adult" Duke tried to defend, but his 'fierce glare' had less effect with his hand stuck in a bag of gummy worms.

Tim huffed- if Dick kept it up, they would end up with "family night", and he doubted all of them would come back alive.

(END SCENE)

Now to break down- Tim was of course the "Narrator" perspective that was viewing the scene, we get his insight even while not directly interacting with the characters just by his description tone.

Jason was of course the main "Secondary"character (though Dick was a mix as well) where the scene introduced by Tims perpective and tone by someone else in the enviornment.

Then you have Dick who is a perfect mix of Interactive character (how he entered the scene via movement, placing himself in perspective to the established other two) while shifting to have the most "scene impact" whilst still not being Tims focus.

Finally you have everyone else serving as Enviornment characters, with either a simple Line-action (ex-Steph) or a name drop in general placement (Cass) or establishment through movement, and only relevent later in the scene (Duke).

Damian kind of floats between, he is introduced via a reaction + Narrator observation, but then is mostly just an eviornment character. He is THERE but not really awknowleged beyond that.

NEXT- If that doesn't help much you can rely on "Environment rule"

Aka everyone is always doing something in any space they occupy- apply that to your characters. It can be as simple as when you have one character speak loudly to the narrating POV, another character shifts away or laughs.

They didn't need to speak nor did you need to detract from the tension/pacing of a scene by describing in detail their expression, positon, etc.

BUT in that moment your reader just clues in to "Oh okay x is here-" that is established, and whether or not x plays a role in a future scene within that enviornment doesnt matter much.

This is also the PERFECT oppertunity to give characterization. If a tense moment is going on you can have the narrator notice another character stiffen/flinch (aka affected by the conflict, even if not an active participant)

FINAL PART- MAINTAINING

This is where shit can hit the fan f a s t- getting a bunch of characters in a scene is one thing but keeping them there?? Hell at times.

But once again this all relies on "Narrator perspective" and unless you are switching narrators, you need a "cone of vision" to determine what is or isn't important unless you might break the tension of a scene.

Methods include-

Reactions

Two+ background characters interact (verbal or not)

Interact with enviornment

Enter/Leave a space (of note)

A sound registered but not explored (a chair creaking back, a glass dropping, snack bag rustling, or even my favorite which is the sudden absense of sound implying an audience)

"Incidents" (Someone drops something, attention goes to them for a sec- apology/oneliners, then switch back)

Check ins from NON NARRATOR, (or narrator, but usually works better to keep track of who is focused on who)

Characters don't need to be "ever present" just remind your reader they exist somewhere generally in the scene (and keep them in your back pocket)

But The best possible tool at your disposal?? BANTER.

Let characters interact, feel out their dyanmics- If you dont know how they interact in non tense situations, how does that change when tension amps up. Have a background character throw in a one liner- or the narrator observe a conversation they aren't a part of.

LET PEOPLE BE PEOPLE- And they basically write themselves

Last but not least- if you feel stuck or lost?? Treat EVERYONE like a narrator.

Who are they paying attention to? What are they seeing? How do they REACT to that? Do they speak up, do they tense, do they try and slip away or stay strong?

You don't need to know this for EVERY scene- but sometimes it helps out of a rut moment

ANYWAYYSS- This is my rant and personal methodology of how I place/maintain multiple characters. I hope this helps for anyone interested, if not find what works for you!!

My Asks are open if anyone wants me to give any other advice, tips, or just general ramblings about writing.

Otherwise,

Happy writing!!

[thedemonscrawler]

what does your writing process look like?

8D hello!

Okay so step 0: become haunted

Invariably, a scene manifests in my head, and the longer it sits there, the stronger the urge to write it becomes. Not all scenes make the cut-- there's a lot of ideas that don't meet my standards of IC, and others that would be good, but require more work to develop than I'm willing to invest. I'm avoiding working on any intentional multichaptered fics until Permission Slip is finished, so those ideas stay on the shelf.

Usually the tipping point is when I realize I've worked out the specific wording to start writing it down, and then it's all ogre.

Step 1: write

I go to the appropriate file (all of my SAMS fics start on one of three documents: Eclipse-focused, Ruin-focused, and NSFW. Permission Slip is all in its own file as well), pick a spot between the existing WIPS, and write down the scene that's in my head. Usually there's multiple by this point, and I often end up with about 1200 words of 3 or 4 scenes as a starting place. About half the time I'll go back and add a brief summary, just to keep track of what it is I wanted to do, but I've found that extensive outlines actually discourage me from writing, cos my brain is like "oh you already did it"

Step 2: write some more

The 3 or 4 scenes I've written have gaps between them, often pretty big ones, so I just fill in those gaps with more scenes. Over and over, until there are no more gaps. This can take anywhere between a couple of sessions to several months.

8'D and yeah that's it. Give it a good readthrough for errors and publish to AO3.

I don't write sequentially. Instead, i move from most to least interesting, writing whatever scene happens to be in my head and filling in the gaps later. I've found that the tough bits will always be tough, and I don't want to fight through them to get to what I really want to write, only to no longer be interested by the time I get to that part. This doesn't work for everyone, and some folks do better when motivated by the reward of writing the good bit.

Google Docs has an Outline feature, so each WIP gets at least a temporary title so i can navigate to it easily. For Permission Slip, I also use the outline to move through the chapters without a lot of scrolling, giving the active sections little names to keep up with them.

Permission Slip also DOES have an actual outline... kinda. Actually, it has two. One is a general outline of events over the course of the whole story, kept in the 'notes' section of the document. The other is the short, scene-specific outlines that get jotted down for each section. A multi-chaptered fic is really just a bunch of oneshots, if you think about it.

General advice:

Keep a 'Graveyard' document of all the scenes you've cut. It's so much easier to admit to yourself that something isn't working when you know it won't be completely deleted, and you can go back later and maybe yoink some stuff off the cutting room floor.

Share tidbits with your friends on Discord. Write a little section you think is particularly good? Copy+paste it and share it with someone you know will cheer you on!

[greetingfromthedead]

Welcome to a new world of lust and desire!

This is a series of smut oneshots taking place in an Alternate Universe where our beloved Trigun characters are dragon shifters. There is a loose sub-plot connecting the chapters to one another, but there is really no need to read any of this for the plot.

Attention: This is a Trigun x succubus!Reader collection with different partners, both male and female!

Introduction

The Trigun characters here are all dragon shifters unless said otherwise. Generally they are much larger than regular humans, hovering at around the 8ft mark, unless they are Meryl, who is still small compared to the others, now more like a regular tall woman. The dragons have their own affiliations (Vash = Sun Dragon, Knives = Moon Dragon, Wolfwood = Storm Dragon etc) and that comes with its own quirks. They can also shift at will (partially or completely), but they do always keep their horns. You are a succubus (human sized), feeding off their lust and growing more powerful as you get fucked by those delicious creatures. Your presence alone drives them crazy and you are well aware of it, taking advantage of it at every turn. Your goal is to make this nest of lust even more potent as that's what gives you life.

My version of the characters and their dynamics is a bit of a mix of all the different iterations, but their descriptions are generally kept vague enough so you can imagine whatever version you want and add your own HC to it as you please. Occasionally I am self-indulgent, like physically describing Wolfwood as a softer, untoned, tanned, hairy man. And Vash has a skeletal prosthesis cause I like the look and have plans for it.

Premise

All the dragons of the world have been pushed into living in one small area, focused around a mansion built into a mountain. Faced with their dwindling existence, the last remaining shifters indulge in each other, seeking passion and relief from each other's bodies in a messy polygamous dynamic. This lustfulness sends ripples through the fabric of the worlds, accidentally summoning you, a succubus from a hellish plane, into their midst to sow even more desire and mischief.

DISCLAIMER!!! VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO READ BEFORE YOU CONTINUE:

This is a work of fiction. Duh. Don't take it too seriously. For all intents and purposes, all the sexual acts are consensual!!! Any dub con is fictional and play pretend. If it makes you feel better, they had the talk behind the scenes and the safe-word is "hullaballoo". Obviously I do not condone any non con or dub con irl, leave that shit in fiction and if anyone disagrees, they can fuck off to Hell. Do read the tags and TWs of the fics, but be aware that my tagging skills are "meh" and I occasionally forget things.

Oneshots (in order of events)

The oneshots are connected, but there is no need to look for a plot, feel free to read what you want in whatever order you want.

Drop of Lust (M/M/F ft Vashwood, 5k) - as Vash and Wolfwood have their way with each other, they accidentally end up summoning you into their world, but you don't get to watch them for long as they are drawn to you and include you in their fun. You make sure they both understand just who you are by bringing them unmatched pleasure and allowing them to fuck you into heavenly bliss.

Ignorance Brings Bliss (Vash, 2.6k) - Vash wants to take care of you by giving you the option to use the large Roman style bath and bringing you food, but due to some misunderstandings, you both end up wet and wild, finding alternate uses for some of the food items he brought with him.

Seduction (Knives, 3.2k) - You seek a warm embrace to spend the night, following the music through the mansion. You find a grumpy Knives playing the organ in his room and use your arts of seduction to completely wrap him around your finger, making him desire you more than anything else in the world.

More coming soon...

Didn't get your fill or not quite what you're looking for? Check out my MASTERLIST for more PG and Explicit Trigun content!

[aziraphales-library]

Hello!! I love this blog, and thank you so much for doing this!!

I was wondering if you know any fics where people try to set them up?

Hi! We have a #matchmaking tag you can check out. Here are some more to add...

Oblivious by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

“Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell had been truly baffling to watch all evening, often trading jabs about weather and horses and philosophy before stalking away to different corners. And yet they orbited each other, never staying apart for long, always drawn back together. Phoebe had never seen two people so desperately in love and yet so oblivious to it.”

Love is Blind (Tied Up and Gagged) by RoseDoesFanfiction (G)

"What-” Crowley starts, cutting himself off as he tries to make sense of the scene he’s currently observing. His mouth hangs open around the choke of inarticulate sentiments—mostly ardent confusion—he doesn’t have the words to voice. A shaky breath steadies his nerves as he slumps down upon the edge of his bed. From what he can see, Gabriel and Beelzlebub have kidnapped Aziraphale. He would laugh if it wasn’t so achingly tragic. “He was miserable,” Gabriel explains simply. (Or the one where it takes a minor kidnapping to get them to actually sit down and TALK for someone's sake.) Post Season 2 fix-it.

7 minutes in heaven by waddlesthejoghog (T)

"If Crowley and Aziraphale couldn’t figure it out, Muriel would have to take a different approach. It wasn’t enough to put them in the same location. They had to plant some seeds of conversation. They had to come to a conclusion naturally, but with a push." OR Muriel reads every book in the shop, then comes up with a plan to get Aziraphale and Crowley back together.

seven minutes in somewhere by whicorzoo (T)

In which Aziraphale Fell, in his last year at Eden High School, has had a long-standing, unyielding crush on Anthony Crowley that leaves him a flushing, stuttering mess at the other boy’s mere mention. Because of his affliction, he’s vowed to never speak with Crowley to avoid the inevitable and soul-crushing embarrassment that would surely follow. It’s not as if he’s really risking anything this way, anyways; Crowley likely doesn’t even know he exists. His scheming-but-well-intentioned best friend Anathema, a pantry, and a game of seven minutes in heaven aim to break that vow.

Muriel's Arrow by marsnack (T)

After waiting thousands of years Muriel is finally given their first mission on earth. To make humans fall in love. Only one problem. Or several, actually. Muriel isn't all too good at matchmaking. And Hell, for some unknown reason, really wants to steal Cupid's Bow. And er, the Instruction Manual heaven provided Muriel is a little... outdated When Muriel shoots Crowley with Cupid's Arrow, Aziraphale is desperate to find a way to reverse it. But Crowley is acting differently than everyone else who was shot by the bow. Perhaps it was because he's a demon. Or was there another reason?

The Whispers of The Moon by comicallybadwriter (M)

“Aziraphale, for the eleventh time we have enough wine!” Crowley groaned and leant across the bookshop door, waiting as impatiently as one could for their best platonic friend of 6000 years to finally finish packing a picnic basket for a night of looking at the stars. “Angel,” Crowley stepped into the kitchen and took Aziraphale’s hands in his own, “Anything you’re missing right now, I’ll miracle up in the snap of my finger. Literally.” Crowley raised an eyebrow and snapped his fingers for show when a tartan ribbon had fallen into his hands suddenly. The angel picked up the ribbon softly and turned it around in his hands, making Crowley pink in the face, “Sssorry Angel let me-” "Turn around dear." ::: Aziraphale and Crowley are finally left alone, but where there's a demon and angel, there's drama. What could possibly be worse than the end of the world? Well, a lovesick demon struggling to cope with the evergrowing need and want for their neighbouring angel could do some damage.

- Mod D

[nfcv-saltmine]

Censoring because I'm not about to participate into this modern witch hunt.

In all due respect to the person who sent me this... Get over it, please. Being gross isn't a crime. But you know what is? Harrassment and calls for hatred.

I'm sorry but I have seen enough of those modern witch hunts to not want to participate. This is ridiculous, seriously. A call out post... To protect who, fictional characters? What about doing call out posts for people who you know and have proof that they are an actual predator, not someone you ASSUME are bad because they enjoy something bad happening in fiction to a 100% fictional character?

This is so basic but people can enjoy topics and scenarios in fiction that they would not enjoy and would actually condemn in real life (and they don't all show their enjoyment the same way. The reblogger you're talking about seem to be sarcastic in their comments. You're weirded out and have a doubt about their intentions? Their askbox and DMs are open as I type this, maybe start there before trying to raise a bunch of strangers against them). You don't like it? Okay! I don't like heavy gore in porn! So I just ignore it or block people or tags, and go on with my life, because at the end of the day... Who's being harmed?? Who cares?? I'm not gonna assume someone is a serial killer or support serial killers for it. You just don't understand what they find appealing in this...? Just. You know. Ask??

The people you are calling out not only gave trigger warnings, but from what I see of them, they tag their stuff, too (and a little comment that they forgot or should add a tag isn't gonna cause as much harm as literally exposing them to the world for a little mistake, or for being "gross"). Exactly so people can easily ignore or not see them at all. You read anyway? The blame's on you. You just don't like that it exist? Again, get over it, it's not a crime. And calling it CP or CSA is so fucking ridiculous and make it seem like you take the very terms like a joke, because no real child is being harmed. And yet you put real horrors real children go through... With fake scenarios filled with fake characters?? (When the protagonist of the scenario is very obviously a bad guy you shouldn't root for, too??) What's next. Are we not gonna be allowed to have fictions about murders because murdering is bad and some people are triggered by it because a loved one has been killed? No more rape scenes (the kind that actually serve the story/a character's lore) because rape bad and triggering?? What about the very character of Dracula who canonically is a genocidal monster. Do you think people who like him, or the ones who wrote him, or drew him, are also monsters who need to be called out for liking such a horrible bastard?? I don't think so. Yet, no matter how many heavy and bad topics people explore out there, everywhere, even the clumsier ones... No one reacts the way people like you react to fictional underage SA or incest, even when it's obvious the people enjoying it KNOW it's bad and do not condone it irl and don't even write/draw it to be sexy. Typical double standards.

I'd argue that we need to be able to have any kind of heavy topic in fiction, even the clumsy ones. Because they're stuff that happen irl and it would be stupid to just ignore their existence. So let people explore and enjoy them in a safe way if they want. Seriously, an obscure fic that grossed you out or even triggered you is not worth the person you find disgusting being harassed or attacked or hated by all.

Even if it isn't your intention to cause them to be harassed or harmed... You and your friends literally gave names. You literally reduced two whole blogs to one gross post or ship and made it so people would think "oh they're bad, better stay away from them". You want them to be isolated and rejected by all (because that's what is gonna happen if everyone blocks them and "spread the word" you know). You, yourself, came to my askbox, to warn me about someone being gross like you're expecting me to expose them, too... And I really hope you or your friends didn't do this to many other people because that is just a fucked up thing to do, especially if you had "good" intentions. And saying you don't want them to get harassed isn't gonna make up for the fact you're screaming at the top of your lungs, for as many people as possible to hear, "STAY AWAY FROM THOSE PEDOPHILES!!" when the worst thing they did is enjoy something fucked up in a piece of fiction.

SO MUCH TROUBLE could be avoided if you or your friends simply WENT to the people concerned directly to explain your PoV and maybe ask for theirs, instead of doing... This. Literally, what prevented you from opening discussion?? If you think they fucked up, do you REALLY think it's gonna help them change and improve to shit on them behind their back and encourage people to block them?? Why directly going on the "call out post" route, wich can end DRAMATICALLY for NOTHING, when from all you know... A simple, cordial ask could have probably solved the whole thing?? I'm sorry but this pisses me off. Just for this, nor you nor your friends can claim to have the moral high ground. We aren't talking about a big celebrity wich you can't reach wich also influence a lot of people. We are talking about two random people who have no influence (despite what you seem to think), who seem to be open to discussions. Give the people a chance to explain themselves before you jump to conclusions, seriously. You don't want to? Okay, no one forces you. But don't then pull this shit and then pretend you're morally better and they're the worst when the whole thing... Can be reduced to a misunderstanding you didn't try to clear up. Or a mistake you didn't attempt to bring to the OPs' attention. Or simply a taste in fictions you do not share.

[wh33zy]

Uhh I dunno if you still accepts asks atm, but I’ve been reading your fanfic for Kotetsu and I LOVE WHAT YOU DONE FOR HIM!!! Honestly thought S2 was gonna give him focus since I was sure from seeing the opening as he was seen closing his locker and that left me to believe (oh there’s gonna be a huge arc for Kotetsu?) but fast-forward to the end, THAT NEVER HAPPENED 😭

So I’m glad this fic exists so I pretend this was actually Season 2. Also, if you had to make a visual for Kotetsu’s Invisible Crusader costume (+ his and Barnaby’s stealth suit) what it would look like?

HOWDY! I do accept asks! Thank you so much for sending me one!!

I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!! THANK YOU!! I'm also so nervous every time I post another chapter lol. My intention with No Good Deed was to give myself the series 2 that I wanted. I treat it like American comics where this is canon but it's just my universe. If I had the drawing talent, I would LOVE to make this into a comic book!

But DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON HOW BADLY THE WRITERS FUMBLED S2 OR I WILL RANT FOR PARAGRAPHS. I was also hoping that it would be focused on Kotetsu (expected it actually because the focus is always flipflopping between him and Barnaby). There's SO MUCH about Kotetsu and Ouroboros that we still don't know about!

I also wanted a specific focus where Barnaby was the support this time BUT could give crucial insight as someone who spent a good portion of his life doing investigations/getting obsessed with getting justice. Like WHY have that be a main part of his backstory and then be like "oh, well, he's done with that now, who cares?", especially when he STILL doesn't have answers about Ouroboros?

It just felt like if S2 decided to not add in three new random unlikeable characters, an entire Ryan backstory, all the casual friendship episodes in the first season, fiercely not letting Kotetsu and Barnaby stand no less than five feet away from each other 90% of the time, and making L.L. Audun a random adversary (and not even connect to ANY of the heroes by making him a past villain of Kotetsu's or SOMETHING), then the show would have made far more sense to be called TIGER & Bunny.

We also probably would have had less cringey and cooler fight scenes but I digress.

Suit Inspiration:

My vision for Wild Tiger's crusader suit was VERY much inspired by some of the early versions of Marvel and DC costume designs. Considering that Kotetsu would have been a crusader in the 60s very early 70s.

I was thinking something like Wildcat (DC) and Black Panther (Marvel) but with green tiger stripes, green claws, and a cape added like this:

BUT add the overall shape of Wild Tiger's cowl of his first suit so it comes across like more of a Tiger than a panther:

^^^Like this! I don't know WHY they got rid of the ears OR the cape!!! Not to mention I theorize the reason WHY Kotetsu is so clumsy in the Apollon suit is because it's BIG, HEAVY, CLUNKY ARMOR and he's used to lightweight, skin-tight, and having a full range of motion. AND I have the wildly unpopular opinion of preferring his first suit over Saito's.

NOW for the stealth suits for Wild Tiger and Barnaby:

SO I don't have the clearest vision here for them, but this is what they're supposed to be giving a mix of-

The Batman Beyond suit

and The Arkham Knight's suit:

BUT in their individual colours of course.

Kotetsu's helmet has the same ears that his first suit does and has claws, Barnaby's helmet has ears too but they look like the ones his regular Apollon armor has already.

Again, thanks SO much for the message and the ask! Please don't be shy to send asks my way as I very much welcome them!

[aranarumei]

10 17 24 I think was the last one. hi kiri Ask game :)

ask me something from this list?

putting these answers under a cut bc it got long

10: what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

okay I need to do some research for this one. I think this question means to ask, like, how long I’ve just… not worked on something before coming back to it and completing it? and that’s different from “how long have you worked on a project” which is… also a bit hard to determine. I’ll just note some interesting spans of time, then. my current WIP has existed in some form since October of 2021, which is fun. I’ve definitely spent a good 6 months not touching it in the slightest, maybe longer during the early years, but I’ve not finished this one yet. I am committed to completing this, though. it’s just a fic that takes and deserves a lot of work. apart from that, I’ve been writing vague scenes related to freed & laxus’s relationship, and snippet #4 was written 2 whole years after snippet #3. so I’m definitely someone who can return to old ideas… especially around 2021 and forward, my style hasn’t deviated enough for me to really never want to return back to any of it. so I tend to add to fics I haven’t touched in a long time. my ideas usually just hang in unpublished limbo for years, sadly. most of it will probably never see the light of day even though I like it. I’m trying to get more comfortable just posting scenes with little context, but it’s tough.

as for published stuff, for “bloom” I wrote the first scene in September of 2019, and then started working on it again in September 2020, which is when I then posted it.

17: talk about your writing and editing process

oh boy… how do I talk about this. I’m unsure even how to describe any of it.

like titles, I think my fic ideas stem from two places: the “point” and “concept” at hand. sometimes I’ll think “oh, this situation would be really fun to explore” (like, hanzawa showing up in the case files of jeweler richard) and work from there to figure out what the main idea of that story would look like (okay, so I think this would lead into discussing how hanzawa puts up a façade, and seigi’s influence would change him in a way that is impactful yet minimal enough to work for merging both canons), and sometimes I’ll think “oh, I really want to express this aspect of a story / character” (I want to write about what interests me regarding hanzawa and tashiro’s relationship) and have to figure out how to get there (I can have them discuss hanzawa’s dyed hair during club practice, and expand that out into various musings).

these usually start out with me just like… writing a scene, if I’ve got a vision of one in mind, but some just start out with like. a topic sentence. it depends how clear I am on what I’m doing. These days I outline more often, so I tend to hash out the concept alone or with a friend, collecting various ideas for how I might expand on whatever I initially thought, so it can actually be a complete piece of work. I first start by outlining various “scenes” or “moments” I think would work, and then I try to break it down into way more detail and build stuff out. for longer things, I might have extra notes just analyzing various parts of the piece.

writing is usually just pretty much… sitting down and doing it. I tend to write scene by scene, and write later scenes only when it’s like, I’ve got a perfect vision of how it’ll go and have to write it down. so I can have snippets of stuff that shows up later, but it’s not usually intentional. for fics where I have a detailed outline of bullet points, I stick that section of the outline in my draft and write while going through each bulleted point. delete a bullet point every time I complete that bit, until I’m done with the scene.

I edit a bit as I go, but to not get too stuck, if I’m struggling for words I tend to put that bit in square brackets [like so]. when I edit, I usually ctrl+f for these square brackets and try to address any notes I might’ve written down. then I like to just read through it and either mark it up as I go or just fix it as I go. it depends on the level of work something might need. I edit scene by scene, though when I edit is up to when I feel like it. sometimes it’s just at the end, or other times I write a scene, edit the scene, and then write the next one. if I can, I’ll sometimes get someone else to read over a scene, especially if I feel unsure about the direction.

lastly, I like to sleep or rest my eyes before doing a final check for grammar, spelling, and formatting. in general I like to try and have “fresh eyes” while editing!

24: how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

…do I? I feel like I almost always want to write and want to be creative. Usually it’s life that’s hampering me. but there’s definitely times when words feel beyond me. I usually just sleep, or I try to switch formats… instead of prose, why not bullet point my way through it first? or talk through it and just vocalize all the dialogue? or I switch to handwriting text, or I change the font so what I’m working on looks visually different to before. I think that helps the work feel less stale. I also love talking to other people, because that makes me get a bit of external motivation.

[sunset-peril]

Villain here. Yeah fr. I was kind of a jerk in my post/tags but only because (especially on that day) I was quite frustrated and fed up of the "m*phlink happens in aoc" "um aksually m*phlink is canon in aoc ☝""zelink can never happen in aoc" arguments I kept seeing online in various places.

I do understand wishful thinking and all but it has felt like nobody saying these things actually played the game (or watched the cutscenes all the way through), just purely repeating what others said and running with the fact the champions are alive while ignoring the actual content presented in hwaoc.

Like, if I was a writer setting out to make m*phlink canon, I would not give her a single scene of focus (her introduction) and then have her in the background for the rest of the game, while writing zelink scenes like that castle hallway moment that feel pulled straight from a fan's pre-calamity zelink fanfic lol. Koei Techmo/Nintendo's intent seems pretty obvious (especially since they went and added an entire extra zelink montage in DLC content), so I really don't know how "m*phlink canon in aoc" became such a popular idea?

There's also the robot in the room: Terrako. The name means "earth child" and becomes glued to both Zelda and Link as if they're his parents. I mean one of the DLC scenes even makes them both look like out-of-breath parents who have been searching high and low for their missing toddler (the comedy of the moment being that Terrako is actually more than fully capable of handling himself and they just missed the intense battle that happened)

NOTE: If anyone decided to reblog this, please do not add any ship tags for anyone. That's gonna be my policy moving forward for content like this.

~~~

Completely and entirely understandable. No judgement here. Can't judge actually, I'm a problem sometimes. I've been guilting of misinterpretations too. I had my crap called on my characterizations of Rhoam called out this year, and I've had to revisit both BotW and AoC to fix it. If I blocked everyone who had One of Those Days where they decided to pick a fight against the Fandom, especially for a mischaracterization, I'd be blocking all my mutuals, a lot of people I respect in the Fandom, and also I'd be blocking myself. We're human it happens. So long as you don't endorse being a butt.

I lose my lid on misinterpretations a lot more than I really want to admit. Especially when they have that real coercive wording of "accept the thing as canon or else," or just refuse to acknowledge itself as a headcanon, then get butthurt when they are (very politely or gently) fact checked by someone else. Both of which could have been entirely avoided if people were upfront with whether the Canon had been regarded or not (which is usually what sinks my battleship).

I've sniffed both ends of the skunk (does that saying work?) concerning this whole mess with AoC and BotW and all that jazz just from fic writing alone. Having ZeLink be canon and have there be a true reason for the Zora Armor's existence? Yikes. Piss keyboard warriors on both sides off. (the gist of it being that Link was part of a dying sub-tribe to the Hylians and agreed to an arranged marriage to Mipha to prevent himself from having to commit inc*st, however, Mipha was clear that she knew Link didn't love her and that he only agreed in order to save his sister, and also willingly dissolved their contract when he fell in love with Zelda instead. But that's another post)

But I'd never try to coerce someone into accepting that as the reason for BotW's semi-confusing set up. For all canon purposes, I blame the Zora themselves for not critically thinking about Link's current situation, and believe that they may have been unintentionally manipulative to him simple because they weren't really thinking about Link's complete absence of memory/sense of self. Yet again, not something I'd force somebody to believe as canon. And emphasis on "unintentionally," because I really don't see malice in any of them. Especially Sidon (and whoo, he's a whole other dumpster fire)

As someone who would easily place Age of Calamity into the My Top 3 Zelda Games (shoot me, I know), I've spent a stupid amount of time analyzing that game. The idea for ZeLink being pregnant at the time of Calamity innocently enough came from me and my cousins analyzing the game together and actually making fun of the sheer waistline difference between the white Prayer/Priestess Dress and her pre-Calamity armor. And don't you know that would make people boil if I tried to present that as canon 😂

I fully believe Terrako is 10/10 intended and written to be Zelda and Link's "son." But I wouldn't use any fanon discourse to try and prove that. I don't think I need to with the game in hand. There can be a bit of "stretch" I think that ZeLink fans pull in determining how early in the game Terrako "decides" Link's his dad (I don't believe this happened in the cutscene where Link defends Zelda from the Yiga and Terrako beeps a ton and kind of bites at his ankles, which is where I've seen a lot of ZeLink-ers say it happens). But to me there's absolutely no doubt that Nintendo and Koei intended for Terrako to be their child. And some fans' decisions to try and define One Instance™️ that Zelda/Link/Terrako became one family doesn't detract from the fact that the game heavily appears to be going in that direction. I mean, Zelda is clearly his mom, don't need a degree in Nintendo to figure that one out, which raises the question of why Terrako is almost always following Link around instead of his "mom." I also won't force people to accept that if they don't want to, as long as they at least acknowledge what the canon is actually saying and not what their fanon desires. Points for the newbie fans/offline fans for that one because they're not in this discourse mud all the live long day! (I also watched the Restoring Terrako cutscene again to make sure I'm not accidentally lying, and when Terrako wakes back up and recognizes Zelda, Link does that nod + very slight smile thing that he does to Zelda when Calamity is defeated. He nods a lot in the game of course, but I think those are the only two times he's nodded and smiled. Don't quote me I didn't rewatch the entire game)

The DLC at times definitely feels like Link and Zelda dealing with their little toddler, haha. That picture he takes of them both at the end OOF.

Honestly, it really feels like Mipha is ignored once the Zora Princess plotline is over. Unless I'm severely miscounting, she has about as many "alone" moments with Daruk as she does with Link. And ain't nobody shipping them in AoC! (as far as I'm aware, I'm sure there's someone)

I feel like if Link was supposed to have any chance of falling in love with Mipha in the BotW storyline/universe at ALL, they would have made that astoundingly clear in Age of Calamity. But they don't. It feels even more like a joke in AoC than it did in BotW/TotK. The DLC slams the lid on those fingers even harder.

In fact, we could sit here for the whole night debating about whether or not any ZeLinkness in TotK was already written/known to Nintendo when this game was made AND whether or not they specifically made this game Heavy on the ZeLink or Not Heavy on the ZeLink simply because of whether or not there would be ZeLink in TotK. Because there was at least some time where there was production overlap between the two games. No clue how much, but there was some.

Actually, despite whether or not I wanted to make Link end up with Zelda/Mipha, I still wouldn't have cast her aside like it did. After the Zora Princess plot when Mipha bonds with Ruta, it starts feeling like her only driving motive is her affections for Link. Which we know from Champion's Ballad, the Zora Princess plotline, AND when Sidon/Riju/Yunobo/Teba fall out of the sky that her love for her brother, father and people equates (I would actually say "exceeds") any Link-related motives or personality points that Mipha had. So I would force the story/game to put Mipha in places where Link is completely out of sight out of mind. Because there are some parts of BotW/AoC where it acts like Link's her only purpose in life. Which is a problem.

If I wanted to make sure the public knew that Link was supposed to love her and not Zelda, I would have made it dang sure it was obvious. And the only thing I really find obvious in AoC is that her affections are played almost like a joke (or at best a subplot where everything but the beginning and end were cut from the game last minute). I can't remember how to unlock the Zora Armor in AoC, what quests you have to do, but I do remember it was a LOT. Like, the fact that you have to do a LOT of mediocre side quests (I think you have to be post-game to unlock it? I cant remember, but it raises more points if you do) to unlock it instead of it being accessed through the main story says something about Nintendo's intentions, and to me that "something" smells like "included for reference/fanservice only". It was actually one of the last clothing items I got simply because there were a lot of hoops to go through to get it. (I mainly wanted to unlock it to read the description, and the description almost sounds like Link is making a joke of it, or if he's actually concerned that he could GET IN TROUBLE for having it which... raises a lot of flags).

I would have made sure Link got that armor during the main story if he was supposed to love Mipha. I would've made sure to include a part with Zelda and Terrako that more or less says "I know you like him, but he's not your dad" if he wasn't supposed to end up with Zelda. However, neither of those things exist. And they would HAVE to exist (or something very similar) to outweigh everything else occurring in that game.

The whole rest of the game smells so heavily of a ZeLink fanfiction, I actually want to laugh. I couldn't have based ZeLink fanfiction so heavily off this game if there was no ZeLink.

What also makes me want to laugh? Every interaction Urbosa and Revali have in that game. HYLIA she seems so done with him.

[baejax-the-great]

Writer meme, 💝💞, dealers choice if either have been asked!

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

This one is very simple--Sunset in Your Veins got way more attention than I expected it to. I've written six or seven fics for this ship and it blows the others out of the water as far as popularity goes.

Also, especially in the beginning, I really conceptualized Sunset as cracky and silly (I mean Achilles decides he's eternally damned after one look at the streets of Chicago so he might as well act like a criminal now, and he steals a dog with the intent of sacrificing it to Hades), but a lot of people found the first chapters to be very sad.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

When I first started writing, the biggest thing for me was getting the characterization right. My first forays into fic were mostly just banter I had imagined while playing video games--not much plot to be had. I wanted to get their voices down.

Now that I've been writing for a few years and have written many different kinds of stories, I write with a lot more intention. I think a lot about how each scene adds to the plot/the tension/the character's journey, and what needs to happen to pull everything together. I have a resolution in mind, and I build scaffolding toward it and fill it out. Sometimes it is enough for a scene to exist because it's funny, but it's worth thinking about what it's telling the readers about the story and the characters' internal state.

So I wouldn't say it's most important to me, but the construction of a story all together is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. And it was something I was completely unable to approach when I first started writing, honestly.

[ghost-proofbaby]

Director's Commentary for Shire please

I need clarification because you've already mentioned you always had the intention of writing a "fix it fic". Did you plan Mordor before Shire? Or did you just write Shire around the concept of Mordor? Did you leave any breadcrumbs that weren't picked up by readers? I need an itemized list, ma'am 👀

of course, love! so, short answer - no. mordor was not properly planned before shire but... long answer? yes.

i left a ton of clues, actually! they were very heavy in the set up, because instead of dropping obvious plot clues (which i definitely did), i mostly focused on making it clear these characters were 'built' to specifically fall into this situation of season 4. all the relationships, all the small moments, all the little details - they all add up to make gasoline for vecna's fire so to speak. this is probably more than you wanted, so i apologize, but it's fun because i kept a vague list for myself and this one has more details. <3 so yeah sorry this is stupid long and i got carried away but thank you for the question!!! shire is my baby and i'm always willing to give lame ass director's commentary

the name. i was stuck on the name until i realized i could break that quote into two story titles!! i think i specifically said that on tik tok, too. like before shire even broke 100 hits, i was over there going "👀 this is a secret tool i will use later"

shire started with an altered but still canon scene (dustin's return at scoops)! as well as alluded to the fact that the upside down existed because of steve changing! to show that i was following canon <3

in chapter 2, there's also a hint of something that will be happening in mordor. as i said, mordor wasn't properly planned, but i had an idea of how it would go down haha. actually, there two references? but one is unintentional so go figure.

chapter 3 once more referenced that the upside down was canon! starcourt still burned down, the events of season 3 occured, but willow was simply not involved... yet. obviously, robin involved her by informing her of what really happened, and planted the knowledge/fear of the upside down in her.

chapter 4 shows a brief flash of willow putting someone else's comfort above her own - when she downplays her hair to her mom. it's a big part of her character for mordor, obviously lol. also robin shoos away her mother and says she'll take care of her, alluding to how when trouble happens in the show, parents aren't involved. to hint that if trouble arose, willow's mom would be absent.

also in chapter 4! steve doesn't slow down. willow is the first to notice the danger and him nearly hitting the deer. she notices danger before him - he's an action-first, think-later type of person. again, crucial character points for mordor. willow is literally the first to sense vecna technically speaking. and speaking of steve, notice he doesn't want willow involved in the upside down in this chapter and is trying to scope out just how much robin involved her. when it comes to the russians, he was an open book. when it came to the upside down, he's ready to shut it all down and keep her in the dark. <3

7.. chapter 5 crucial character point - where as we established that willow puts others needs above her own, eddie is the first to put her needs over his (not getting the cigarette near her, the jacket, etc.)

8. chapter 7 - eddie refers to willow as multiple magic user names from D&D. she's the one later linked to the freaky wizard villain aha

9. their book choices. willow chose little women, which furthers solidifies the way she grew up so fast, the way she tries to fill a stereotypical role as a woman not only in society but her family (aka with her mother after parker passes. also, it was alluding to the fact that she's lost a sibling!) eddie's is about adventure, about being thrust into a journey. they were choices i felt fit who they were as characters best, alluded to the fic namesake, and also serve as a way to criticize how they approach responsibility. willow takes it with heavy shoulders - eddie is simply thrust into it. willow's fate has long been sealed, but eddie's was an ever changing opportunity, if that makes sense. one is doomed by the narrative not just from society, but by her past. the other isn't doomed yet. he still has a chance to escape it all, while willow is already involved with the upside down due to robin. i sound like a crazy person now haha. also when just used in shire, it shows that willow and steve won't be together but uh... that's an entirely different list, isn't it? also their conversation about it in 25. <3

10. also worth mentioning how often it is brought up that willow is a bad liar, but we see her capable of lying when it comes to bigger picture things (keeping the fake dating realistic, etc.). she does know how to keep a secret.

11. the difference in how steve and eddie treats willow when dropping her off. it was, one, to illustrate which one she would end up with (again, different list). but also how one is far more individually protective over her :-) that'll come into play later. simply put - steve has faith that willow can handle herself, and eddie trusts her but also chooses to still take precautions (from a distance or otherwise!)

12. eddie progressively makes willow more reckless. in the beginning of shire, she's very anal about her schedule and such. by the end of the story, when their first date is going wrong, she's better able to handle it. eddie, on the other hand, struggles with losing control. they change each other wildly. in shire's context, that's for the better. in mordor... it'll be an issue.

13. she goes from wanting no involvement in d&d, to being involved for eddie (first game - sternly won't play. by the end of the story, she is willing to help plan a campaign. specifically, she helps plan VECNA'S CULT. and vecna's return is her idea). another change, another demonstration of the subtle lengths you'll go for the one you love, until it's no longer subtle situations.

14. willow also criticizes the way the game involves making careful decisions through dice rolling! she's more aligned with steve's thought process of acting first, worrying about consequences later, especially when it comes to herself. it shows that underneath it all, although they switch roles from planner and the one who goes with the flow, those values were always there under the surface. which comes into play in mordor and the vecna situation!

15. chapter 16 - the first demonstration of willow being eddie's protector.

16. also chapter 16 - it's established that eddie is dustin's protector, which plays into his canon demise (in my opinion, at least!). and then chapter 17 - solidification of willow being eddie's protector as she physically will put herself between him and danger before dragging him away from it. also, eddie being dustin's protector again. haha. also, eddie acknowledging it. :-)

17. "I mean, you get this look when your friends get hurt - like you’d burn the world down for them."

18. "She would burn the world down for him - she’d drag Jason to hell and back herself if it meant the boy in front of her knew a moment of peace."

19. the use of second hand news being the first song they listen to together from rumors rather than her favorite song (the chain), most specifically the line that is quoted - When times go bad, when times go rough, won't you lay me down in tall grass and let me do my stuff?

20. “Ah, ah. Careful doll, or you’ll be number four.” - no comment on this one. but uh. major.

21. the ENTIRE ordeal with freddy krueger and nightmare on elm street. all of it. major breadcrumb.

22. “You’re distracted. What are you gonna do one day when there’s a freaky ghost invading our dreams and trying to kill us, but you didn’t watch the movie with me so you have no clue what to do to save us?”

23. the whole parker situation. obviously, i pulled real life inspo, but i always knew i was going to traumatize willow (as audrey put it). parker's death shapes who she is a person very fundamentally, and gives vecna an in for her mind. the thing is, i purposefully made it something that was pretty far back in the past, but still affected her deeply. she's had time to heal, but she didn't. there's so much to say about this little tid bit but it's rough, and sensitive to talk about.

24. willow’s favorite song being revealed to eddie. i really expected more people to catch that haha

25. willow having to choose between eddie and steve during their fight with jason. 

26. willow’s d&d character has major clues! Spent a long time combing over that one

and then obviously, her headaches, her nightmares, the upside down visions, etc. that i brought back for the final chapters. like i said, so much of it was fit into the beginning of the story. i needed to set it up for mordor, but a lot of shire is just a love story. my entire point for shire was solely mordor - it was tell a nice love story that comforted me through a lot of rough times. i'm just lucky i got to have my cake and eat it too i guess lol <3

so i guess in a way, when you asked me if i wrote shire around the concept of mordor, the answer there is also no! i wanted shire to be able to exist without mordor, as well.

anyways. much love. brevity ain't the wit of this soul.

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] NAWT ME TRYING TO GO BACK MY OWN TAG AND LIKE. REMEMBER WHICH TF RESPONSE I HAVE NOT RESPONDED its compulsory i must answer to Everything or i will die so Anyway im throwing everything in one ask HAHA

THE POST WITH THE LYRICS,... XIAOCORE,..... "When you said that I was killing myself / I've killed everything but my shame" indicating xiao wasnt regretting all the hurt he's done to himself be it from his duty or the repercussions bc he knows he Deserves it and takes it without caring any dignity like YOU JUST CANT

and adnd and!! GOWSH IT MAY BE A SHORTER SCENE OBV NOT MAIN FOCUS OR WHATEVER u gonna add in the next xiaolumi fic but i am just. gosh they mean saur much 2 me,..... he's concussed. zhongli frets like a mother. he's concussed what did he do to reach that point how serious it is to get zhongli fret like a mother. i am jUSTTTTTTT

and u. the. the xiao's mom you really went there you madmanwomangirlgnc. i read it all and i am crying sobbing at 4am that time. i am not okay i jsutcant believe this i cannot believe. the traits that she used to have that unconsciously influences xiao and at some point used in an unhealthy way than she intended for him to learn. "she sees no use dwelling in the past", he sees every. single mistake of it, of what he did even if it's out of his will. but also disregarding how he used to be, of that suffering if others know, and with the goodest of intentions- to point out what he's been through makes him deserving of care. my guy twists the morals so he can have his existence barely known so he can continue that quest of redemption he never had to do, or has long been redeemed.

"(she names him alatus, gives him wings the only way she can. may he never be trapped as she was for so long. may he always find a way to fly.) / (funny, really, how that works out.)" I AM LITERALLYYYYY NOT OKAYYYY I AM SO!!!!!! OK BUT I JUST,SF.FSFLDF THINK ABOUT HIS WINGS THE MOMENT U MENTIONED IT like. yeah bird adeptus yes absolutely its always canon but the thing about his wings. like how do you hc he lost it. ppl would go for amputation, or its still salvageable but it's been rendered so bad it doesnt have the strength for him to take flight. id pick one but i cant cuS MAN BOTH HAVE THEIR OWN UNIQUE PROGRESS OF GRIEF FOR HIM,..... to lose flight entirely is to lose part of himself and that's been like that for millenia it gets even harder once he knows lumine had wings before that HAS a chance to be obtained again,..... but for now they share that loss of wings, to feel the wind in your face as you fly higher and higher into the clouds.......

"it isn’t her fault or negligence or neglect that leads to him being taken. it’s the cruelty of the world and bad luck, plain and simple. he remembers missing her. he remembers missing her so much it ached." everytghing that comes after thsis. everything. i just,. im so,... sogdgfg im SO

"he makes her a grave. it takes a very long time. there’s no name and a marker only he would recognize. it’s nothing special. he thinks, distantly, that she deserved more than this. but it’s all he has, and that will have to be enough. and then he does what she always did, what she always taught him to do: he moves forward." dead on the floor

"you cant stop turning to talk to them only to realize you’re facing an empty space. paimon helps. paimon really, truly helps. but she’s her own person, a friend, not a sibling or a twin. not a replacement. not even close." WITH THE WAY I HOLD PAIMON FOR DEAR LIFE, THIS IS A REALITY I HAVE TO FACE AS MUCH AS HER!!!!! SHE IS NO REPLACEMENT!!! so i had to dig one of my other brainrot drafts where paimon had been a lil guilty for not contributing anything to the chasm, snapping at lumine for trying to reason her. pasting that sht here cus it still gets me despite im not exactly a Writer (and i like to put a lil sad quirk that paimon can go off third person in her speech if she's serious on it)

Her outburst was over with a harsh sob, and the pixie looked even smaller than physically possible. Paimon wiped her eyes roughly with a puffy sleeve, and Lumine wondered how contradictive her companion is when it comes to self expression. “... I wanted to do something.” “Not just talking, not just… being like this.” The pixie kicked the air weakly, fiddling with the folds of her shirt. “But it’s why I talk most of the time, so you don’t have to. Maybe then I’ll get to know Teyvat better, and how to get out of things faster. The Chasm was… scary.” 

"Getting trapped there is different than when you were almost split in half most of the time." Paimon rubbed her eyes again, a sniffle too quiet to be heard.  "'Cause your brother won't find you that way, and it means I broke my promise to you."

SO. YEA. paimon my emotional support flying nugget

"it def influenced my own thoughts on the travelers and their powers and how strong they were Before teyvat and how its changed them after" "i keep lumi and aether in that space between mortal and god / theres so much wiggle room and them as gods outside of very specific portrayals doesnt feel right to me / but theyre definitely VERY powerful and very inhuman imo"

PERSONALLY i looooooooove the different interpretations of the twins being primordial gods,.. or like as you said, that space between mortal and god, though to me i dont have a strong enough picture when it comes to defining what exactly they are in nature but def in that little space. cus i like to characterize lumine AND aether as human as they can and are, probably bc im projecting probably bc im a bitchass on a god's ego and personifying that. i revolve the story of the twins' journey regarding humanity, but more on them leaning to feeling human and mortal than a god, bc they HAD been gods before. or at least something equivalent.

and actually? my first impression of the twins to push the hc isnt through these typa fics, its from the theory that tied the twins with hyv's other game honkai impact 3rd; that theyre sort of 'scouts' that travels throughout space for a habitable world while honkai is close to its own cataclysm by Advanced Development being a threat to gods; just like khaenriah. so like. its a mess of a theory i saw long ago but ye kno!! its been stuck in my head since, and it solidifies my thought to lumine acting like a human bc she is, or was, with whatever happened in between turning her and her brother into who they are now. in that little space between.

so like!! for these twins. aether is more empathetic, he understood far more than lumine ever does, bc he doesnt focus on the duty more than the ppl he meets. lumine being the more calculative and speculative twin, doing strategies and being first in the offense- altho aether is the one ready to back her up and in the frontline, her tank and shield. hes more carefree, more kind, what nara varuna had been to the aranara is what he had been still. to cry for the forest people, to cry for those even if he thought; lumine would tell me to think this again, to not rely too much whats in his heart. now without him in the picture, she asks herself her own question. she looks back at how ae would do, would act and think thats not as far as she does. that lumine thinks through logic, and aether thinks through compassion. and then to the present where he's gone and she'd slowly fill the space he had been into her own personality, learning how he had been bc the aether she saw now was not there anymore. like gooooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh IDKKKKKKKKKK

NO BECAUSE ME HANDSHAKE YOU GOING THROUGH THE TAG TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAS AND HASN'T BEEN RESPONDED TO PLEASE THAT'S SO FUNNY OF US

"indicating xiao wasnt regretting all the hurt he's done to himself be it from his duty or the repercussions bc he knows he Deserves it and takes it without caring any dignity" exactly <3333333333333 no bc like. he doesnt Care he doesnt care about how much it hurts him hes so convinced that he DOES deserve it, its just part of his life part of his duty nothing more and nothing less. but that doesnt stop the shame that comes with anything he perceives as failure (which is definitely A Lot Of Things) or shit like being too injured to continue fighting im so. fmgnfgmnfmngmf

it may not be the Main focus but zhongli and xiao's relationship in this fic is basically the second biggest focus beyond xiao himself/the xiaolumi of it all tbh, even before we started talking before The Brainrot Festivals i knew i really wanted to highlight their relationship and dynamic and the way i was portraying them, zhongli will definitely be a very important part of it !! as for. what led to xiao being concussed and zhongli fretting that much. well. smile. im a fan personally although i DO really need to polish up the scene i did it so long ago its such a mess...... god thats ognna be SO fun i should try to do that today

"you madmanwomangirlgnc" GIGGLING SM HELP

"the traits that she used to have that unconsciously influences xiao and at some point used in an unhealthy way than she intended for him to learn." yeah <3333 "my guy twists the morals so he can have his existence barely known so he can continue that quest of redemption he never had to do, or has long been redeemed." NO BECAUSE LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYY its so fucked up i am going to Squeeze Him i am going to pour so much love into him that it overflows and turns into self love on god.

"but the thing about his wings. like how do you hc he lost it. ppl would go for amputation, or its still salvageable but it's been rendered so bad it doesnt have the strength for him to take flight. id pick one but i cant cuS MAN BOTH HAVE THEIR OWN UNIQUE PROGRESS OF GRIEF FOR HIM" w. well you see. the problem is. i have basically Never Thought About This. ive considered him with wings and thought about the Having but not the losing. so here are some thoughts off the top of my head, not all viable in canon but yknow

he still has them, but has rendered himself incapable of true flight. got rid of the flight feathers after rex lapis freed him, quite literally grounded himself in liyue. devotion and punishment all in one. i dont actually like this one too much but it was one of my first thoughts just in terms of wanting him to still have them but flight being out of reach

the god who enslaved him injured them beyond repair very very early on when xiao was doing his best to fight back against it, caging him in more ways than one. a show of control and power over him, a way to further force xiao to bend to his will. with proper care and healing they may have recovered, even as horrifically mangled as they were, but naturally that never happened

he still had his wings serving that god, but those victims who fought back against xiao when he came for them eventually damaged them beyond flight and/or beyond repair in an attempt to ground him and make him less dangerous/take him down

^^^^^ in either of those two above scenarios i like to imagine that the remains still cling to him when he's freed, and either zhongli or the other yakshas eventually help him fully remove them. they're a mess, they're dead weight, and they're never going to heal- he'd rather them gone completely than dragging on him like this, a constant reminder of what he'd (rightfully, in his own mind) lost

zhongli and/or some of the other adepti end up fighting xiao himself before the god who he serves is killed, and it isnt until then that his wings are damaged truly beyond repair and taken from him. he kneels and they're mangled, bloodied and broken, hanging limply from his back, and all he wants now is to die free. he doesnt deserve to live, not after what he's done. but death would be too kind, too, and so he accepts it when his life is spared, swears himself to morax instead. whoever it was who fucked his wings up like that feels awful about it, they approach him eventually to apologize. xiao doesn't know how to tell them how relieved he was to be rid of them in that moment, to have the ties to his past self fully cut. it's easier like this, if he's made anew, made to serve a new purpose, if he can abandon any semblance of love or naivety or innocence he once carried. it hurts something deep inside of him to imagine that that child survived. easier to see him buried, easier to separate himself from it all.

okay i think that's all ive really got id have to take some more time to think abt it ummmm. i think i like the last one the most? combined with the idea that it's zhongli or the yakshas who finally get rid of them? something about someone else being there, xiao not so much as flinching as an entire limb is severed from his body, the literal and emotional weight that vanishes with them. the scars are clean and smooth. xiao neither regrets their loss nor blames the one who ruined them. the wish to have them back goes hand in hand with the wish to have the rest of him back, to be who he used to be, and there's no use in thoughts like that. not anymore.

"it gets even harder once he knows lumine had wings before that HAS a chance to be obtained again,..... but for now they share that loss of wings, to feel the wind in your face as you fly higher and higher into the clouds......." o(-( crying shaking sobbing on the floor YEAH............ that shared loss. god. both of them mourning the freedom it granted them, both of them holding anemo so close to their hearts because it's not the same but it's enough.

LOSING MY MIND OVER YOUR PAIMON BRAINROT GODDDDDDDDDDDD

"'Cause your brother won't find you that way, and it means I broke my promise to you." this broke me. this Broke Me. SHE DOESNT WANT TO BREAK HER PROMISE SHE WANTS THEM TO BE REUNITED....... EUEUEUUEUEUEUUEU

"i revolve the story of the twins' journey regarding humanity, but more on them leaning to feeling human and mortal than a god, bc they HAD been gods before. or at least something equivalent." this FUCKS this is such a good way to look at it and direct it holy shit ??? learning to feel human learning to live as mortal people do learning the values of life itself learning how to love the little things....... man. Man.

"that theyre sort of 'scouts' that travels throughout space for a habitable world while honkai is close to its own cataclysm" i dont know SHIT about honkai but god that sounds so fucking cool and also huge rip to them oh my god... going out to scout a new world On A Time Limit and suddenly its 500+ fucking years later giggling sm

"with whatever happened in between turning her and her brother into who they are now. in that little space between." THIS IS SO GOOD them having been human once and eventually reaching the point where they are now......... g o d

"he doesnt focus on the duty more than the ppl he meets. lumine being the more calculative and speculative twin, doing strategies and being first in the offense" YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is something that can be so <3333 and her looking back and thinking about what aether would do THE AETHER SHE'S SEEN NOW ISN'T THERE ANYMORE.... GODDDDDDDDD im so. the mourning that comes with losing a twin, not knowing if they're dead or alive or where or how to find them, the mourning of your other half of always being known of living spent together. and the desperate hope of seeing them again only for that to come crashing down because this isnt who you knew, isnt who you remember, not at all. you are standing in front of a stranger. they still act like they know you, but you dont know them. not anymore. not at all. and that's its own unique kind of grief, to have someone who used to be your everything right there and to know nothing about them.

[etherealising]

listen i look forward to your reblogs, like i’m literally frothing at the mouth. kicking my feet and giggling because I GET TO RESPOND TO YOU!! 💜

okay uhm WOW. WOWZA. this chapter was so fucking good - the angst, baby and carmy finally finding neutral ground again, the way that you wrote this absolutely batshit insane episode? it was all perfection.

this episode almost took the life out of me to write. there were so many moments i wanted to capture but also not basically just write out the whole episode, and deciding what scenes baby would be in was so much fun because she’s like an add in so putting her in every scene would have been a nuisance. but also giving her her own scenes with everyone was key!

i have my theories about what baby got him for christmas but I AM DYING TO KNOW WHATS IN THE BOX. IS IT KNIVES - DID SHE GET HIM THE KNIFE SET THAT HE USES? only time will tell but i feel like a little kid on christmas looking at all the presents under the tree and wishing i had x ray vision.

i can happily let you know that you can find out in interlude zero: dear carmy which is available now in all countries lol

richie🥹🥹 he is such a sweetie and this little tidbit made me giggle so much. baby really had tweedle dee and tweedle dum as pseudo-protective older brothers and i love that for her.

if i’m being honest, richie is my favorite character in the bear, like he’s just grieving and idk normal and he is the perfect representation of how hard change can be. i just love him!!

this is a weird little note but i absolutely love how much you’re building lore into the existing lore of the show, and in a way that doesn’t feel like too much. it feels like a directors cut almost? and i love that so much. i am so high and i feel like i am IN the story right now. (also fuck the haters who don’t like nicknames in x reader fics - i personally love it. i’d rather imagine myself as close enough to the family to have a nickname than disrupt the flow of writing with y/n every five seconds)

a director’s cut!?!?! i’m blushing! i just want baby to feel like she actually belongs in the bear, like you can imagine the scenes and see her in it, rather than just making her a place holder by randomly dropping her in there and recycling another character’s lines for her. also same like lets just all enjoy the amazingly written fics and move on with our lives : (

YIKKKKKEEEEEEESSSSSSSS. so carmy really be that asshole huh? what an unfortunate christmas for her - how did you somehow manage to make fishes even more tragic?

it was not my intention to make seven fishes anymore tragic but god did this chapter kill me. i think her mom’s passing helped readers to understand baby more, and why carmy cutting her off affected her so much. like it’s important to know that they had lives outside of each other but they were so close that the loss of contact disrupted things.

i fr love pete so much. like - i have a really hard time with my own in laws and having an in law like pete would be a game changer, somebody whose also on the outside that is so supportive and goofy and kind hearted

pete is really my bestie i love him soooo much. and i love that sugar has someone that’s gonna put her first and make sure she’s okay, pete is literally the sunshine in the bear lol.

he is so silly and goofy and protective🥹

mikey’s just sitting there like: ‘these two fucking idiots are so in love’ he definitely ships carmy x baby

oh. my. god. HE IS SO THAT ASSHOLE W T F F F F F F F FF F F

carmy really thought he could slither back in by bringing up a topic he THOUGHT WAS SAFE!!!! WRONG!!

wow my boy does have at least one brain cell! i think that is actually the bare fucking minimum that you could do at this point carmy.

also carmy: ‘a present will surely make this all better’

this is such a serious scene but i was laughing so hard at it during the show and this line made me laugh just as much. it fits in there so seamlessly.

sameee it was just so funny watching these two grown men fight like children and then the camera angles when mikey starts making the animal noises was a true masterpiece

lee is going to CATCH THESE HANDS in the applebees parking lot - we’ll see who has no backbone then

lee was so ugh, but the acting was phenomenal!

this is such a sweet and intimate moment after such a brutal moment. maybe! just maybe! carmy does still care.

a carmy redetmption arc is something we all need (although idk about that after dear carmy…)

ahhhh yes, a good old fashioned olive branch and a good amount of time alone to talk it out

carmy’s trying doesn’t really count if he’s still in his dumb bitch era : ( sadly carmy doesn’t understand the mechanics of “talking”

baby is so brave because if i walked into this it would be on sight. who gave him the audacity to be this hot? he knows what he’s doing putting the highlighter between his teeth like that.

the white tank top?!?! the slutty gold chain?!?! the highlighter between his teeth?!?! mans is a menace

this whole scene is so domestic i’m screaming and THIS TATTOO. THIS TATTOO KILLED ME.

i loved writing the tattoo scenes, the whore in me *almost* made this smut, but the lover in me was chanting ‘slowburn’

you are so welcome!! i literally won’t post a chapter until i find a gif that i think fits best (also gives me an excuse to perv on all the carmy gifs) 💜

chapter 3 | lavender vanilla

↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairings: platonic!mikey berzatto x fem!reader | carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!richie jerimovich x fem!reader

summary: christmas dinner commences, you and carmy put your differences aside for a night.

warnings: language | angst | fluff | mentions of cancer | mentions of death | lee’s geriatric ass | carmy trying his best | donna’s mental health | talk of drug abuse | let me know if i missed anything please!!!

wc: 6.9k

The sound of laughter could be heard through the door of Donna’s bedroom. The two women occupying it caught up with each other like no time had passed at all. You were laying down on the end of Donna’s bed, elbow propped up so your hand could hold your head up. Tiff laying in front of you sitting up slightly from you adjusting her pillows when you had first made an appearance in the room.

“Wait so Richie actually blew up your mom’s microwave?” The words coming out between the laughs that had been wracking Tiffany’s body. Eyes glistening with unshed tears as she listened to your account of the story.

You sat up rapidly head nodding to confirm Tiff’s question, “Exactly, Mikey volunteered to pick my mom and I up from her chemo appointment, and Richie bless his soul was trying to make dinner for us.” You paused as you couldn’t stop giggling at the memory, “He couldn’t find any plates, so he put fucking foil in the microwave, and by the time we got home the house was full of smoke and there were scorch marks on the wall.” You couldn’t help but to lean over clenching your stomach at the belly aching laugh the memory induced. Tiff doing no better hand gently cradling her bump as she tried to catch her breath.

Finally getting enough air into her lungs Tiff spoke up, “Wha-What did your mom do?” She searched your eyes waiting to hear your explanation. Your own laughter had finally settled down allowing you to finish your story, “Absolutely nothing! My mom was so sweet on Richie he could’ve burnt the house down and she would’ve thanked him for it!” The laughter in the room took over once again as the two of you imagined how much your mom’s little crush inflated Richie’s ego.

The two of you had finally calmed down sitting in the ambience that a memory from your younger years left behind. Tiff did her best to sit up, careful not to move too quickly in case it induced a bout of nausea. Her hands reached out gently clasping yours in her embrace, “I’m sorry she couldn’t be here with us today.” The slight squeeze she sent your hands conveying the raw emotion she felt, the small sad smile gracing her lips doing their best to comfort you.

You nodded, sending your own small smile her way, eyes quickly leaving hers to dart around the room, not comfortable enough to see the earnestness in her blue eyes. You cleared your throat trying to ground yourself, “Ahem, yeah…yeah it's a little weird, first Christmas without her and everything.” You let out a pathetic little laugh doing your best to not let the gloomy feeling settle over the room.

You squeezed Tiff’s hands back finally finding her eyes again, “Speaking of, she actually made something for you-well for the baby actually.” You motioned to Tiff’s stomach trying to move the conversation along to something much more light-hearted. “I’ll just go get it yeah, I want you and Richie to open it together.” Tiff nodded eyes misting at your mom’s selflessness in what must have been a debilitating time for her.

Smiling at Tiff one last time you quickly got up to make your way downstairs to where Carmy had hang your coat and bag. You made your way down stairs laughter and loud voices coming from the direction of the living room. You made it to the closet where your belongings were quickly grabbing your keys out of your tote bag you debated slipping your coat on before ultimately deciding it wouldn’t be necessary. You could hear Mikey’s voice as you made your way out the door, he and Richie recounting one of their many tales. You quickly slipped through the door making sure it closed behind you as to not let any cold air in.

Rushing to your car you popped the trunk reaching for the Christmas themed gift bag. You reached up to shut your trunk wanting to hurry and get back inside when your eyes landed on the large matte black box sitting in your trunk. A matching black bow and envelope atop of it, the white ink that spelled out Carmy’s name glaring back at you.

You let go of the trunk letting out an exasperated sigh. You hand planned on personally giving him the gift and watching as he opened it, wanting to see his reaction. But as your brain thought about the argument you had with him earlier, that hope quickly dwindled. You sat the gift bag on top of the box before reaching to pick up the box itself, shutting your trunk and locking your car. The sound of another car door closing caught your attention, Pete making his way towards you from across the street, hand going up in a little wave to greet you. You smiled racing your hand holding your car keys to return his greeting.

Deciding to wait for him so you could walk in together, your eyes took in the aluminum tray grasped in his hands, “Oh shit.” The expletive left your lips as Pete finally took his place by your side, his wide goofy grin drawing your eyes, he balanced the tray in one hand to give you a side hug that you willingly leaned into. “Baby you look great! How’ve you been?” You smiled, seeing Pete before re-entering the house was like a breath of fresh air. The two of you began your trek up the sidewalk.

“Doing my best Pete. Um what cha got in your hands there?” Your head nodding to the tray held in his hands. Pete followed your vision before smiling back at you “Tuna casserole! Couldn’t come empty handed you know.” Pete’s happy go lucky energy bringing a small smile to your face, the two of you stopped before entering the house. You adjusted the box in your hands, free hand reaching out to gently squeeze Pete’s bicep.

“Oh you poor kind soul, they’re gonna fuck you up in there.” The words cause Pete’s smile to falter as you send him a toothy one of your own before walking through the door and holding it open for Pete to walk through. As you both walked through the front entrance you caught the tail end of what sounded to have been a hostile conversation, Pete stealing the show by making his presence known. You had half the mind to leave Pete to defend himself, but a part of you would’ve felt bad for letting someone as sweet as Pete take the heat alone. You walked around Pete sitting on the arm of the chair Mikey was sitting in, his arm going to wrap around your waist unconsciously.

“You know it’s seven fishes, right Pete?” Mikey’s question drew the rest of the room's attention to the tray Pete was still happily holding. The room burst with voices as almost everyone took turns berating Pete. You leaned back slightly so you weren’t blocking Mikey’s view before turning your head in Richie’s direction hoping to gain his attention.

You reached behind Mikey’s back to pinch Richie’s arm his eyebrows shooting up an offended look on his features as his head turned to you, “What the fuck was that for Baby? Pete’s the one with the eighth fish.” You rolled your eyes hand grabbing the gift bag from its place on the box, maneuvering around Mikey’s imposing body before handing it off to Richie, “Merry Christmas Richie, its for you and Tiff so don’t open it without her,” You scolded raising your eyebrows to further cement your message. “It's from mom, she um, she didn’t get to finish it so I apologize if my knitting skills didn’t do it justice.” The last part quickly added on in a joking tone as you noticed Richie’s eyes taking on a solemn look to them.

He gently grabbed the gift bag out of your hand, a slight nod sent in your direction as he gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “Thank you Baby, means a lot.” You smiled back quickly, turning back to the conversation, not wanting to get caught up in any more unwanted emotions.

Carmy’s voice breaking through the onslaught of shit Pete was getting, “Hey, family. Come on, let’s sit. Okay dinner’s ready, alright.” Your eyes connected with his baby blues as you subtly tried to adjust the envelope sitting on the box so the bow could hide the recipient’s name. Your gaze was snatched away from Carmy as your attention was directed to Mikey who was whispering in your ear. Carmy did his best not to let the sight bother him, Mikey drilling his ass in the pantry earlier about what he accused the two of you of. It was hard not to though when you had so comfortably leaned into Mikey’s body whispering your own secret back into his ear, the sight of Mikey’s thumb rubbing gentle circles in the material of your shirt that was covering your waist causing Carmy’s head to spin, quickly removing his attention to Pete to ease his insecurities.

You hadn’t noticed Carmy’s eyes glued to you as you exchanged hushed whispers with Mikey, “What the fuck did you end up buying him?” Mikey’s words caressed your lips as his free hand tapped against the present sitting in your lap. You followed his hands before whispering back to him, “Something that I’m not even sure was worth saving up like 10 paychecks for this shit.” You scoffed feeling a bit miffed about the present since you and Carmy were still on uncertain terms. Mikey nodded a smile gracing his lips as he softly bumped his head into yours, “He’ll appreciate it Baby, I know he will.” You sent him a hopeful smile, you may have been annoyed with the youngest Berzatto and his antics, but you really did want him to like the gift.

“Yo Baby, Baby.” Your eyes found Carmy’s as he called for your attention, “What is that? What the fuck is Pete holding?” You quickly looked at Pete feeling bad that he was on trial before finding Carmy’s eyes again, a small smile finding your lips as you sent a shrug in his direction, not wanting to be the one to rat Pete’s good intentions out.

Carmy modded lips pursing as he wiped his hands down his face as he turned his attention to Steve knowing he’d give him a straight answer, “You’re gonna be upset, but his heart was in the right place, Carm. It’s a tuna casserole.” The slight flush you could see creeping up Carmy’s neck indicating the toll this mishap was taking on him.

You leaned into Mikey more, settling into a more comfortable position as you drowned out the rest of Pete’s trial. You were ready for the day to be over and you hadn’t even eaten dinner yet, you could feel your eyes slowly drifting shut as Mikey’s warm body pressed into your side, each rise and fall of his broad chest pulling you into the purgatory before sleep and consciousness.

The sound of Sugar’s voice jumping onto the tuna casserole bandwagon roused you from the little peacefulness you were beginning to find. You watched with drowsy eyes as she snatched the dish from his hands presumably disposing of it, you softly pat Mikey’s thigh before removing yourself from your seat intending to find somewhere to drop Carmy’s present off at. You stopped in the threshold of the door sending Pete a small smile, “If it makes you feel better Donna threatened to beat my mom’s ass when we showed up with collard greens and baked Mac n cheese our first Christmas here.” You gave a soft pat to his elbow hoping the anecdote helped him feel someone better.

You left the living room, eyes looking around for a practical spot to leave Carmy’s present. You debated leaving it on the small side table in the hallway, but you weren’t too sure if anyone would give it a second thought. Carmy stopped in the doorway of the kitchen as he found you standing in the hallway, the matte black box still clutched in your hands. He had half a mind to hide out in the kitchen until you left but knew he’d probably get shit from his mom about it.

He cleared his throat, gaining your attention as he took a few steps to lessen the distance between you. His hand raising up to scratch the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours as he prepared himself to interact with you, “Ahem, I uh I overheard what you said to Pete. Is your mom doing okay? Was the trip out here too much for her?”

You stared at Carmen eyes cold and unwavering, you knew his question held no malicious intent but it still felt like a slap to the face. The silence from you finally caused Carmy’s eyes to meet your own, the soft color of your irises giving nothing away.

“She died eight months ago Carmen.” Carmy felt like his whole world had stop the voices in the background drowinng out as the bubble the two of you were standing in was filled with nothing but silence.

Carmy’s arm raised his head forcefully running through his hair, head darting to the side to compose himself. “Shit Baby, I’m sorry I-I didn’t know.”

You nodded eyes straying to the present in your hands swallowing the lump in your throat, “How would you?” An out of place laugh leaving your lips as you looked at Carmy, the kicked puppy expression on your face making you feel a little bad. Letting out a sigh you shook your head, “I’m sorry Carmy, that wasn’t fair.”

Carmy copied your motions, his own hand shaking as he reached out a gentle unsure hand to lay on top of yours, “No no, uh I think I deserved that one.” His boyish smile doing its best to offer you some form of comfort in this moment. Your eyes dropped to his mouth, the smile you hadn’t seen in so long unconsciously causing one to appear on your own lips, head dropping to the calloused hand gently on yours.

The hand quickly retreated to its owner, Carmy not wanting to push anymore boundaries, eyes looking at the box one more time a scapegoat from this conversation, “Uh so what’s in the box?” His hand gestured to the rather large decorative box that looked quite fancy now that he could see it up close.

You let out a shy chuckle, “It's uh actually for you. Merry Christmas.” You held out the box to him urging him to take it out of your hands. His eyes shot down to the box, surprised you had even thought about him, “If you don’t feel like opening it now I could just leave it in your room.” Your head motioning up the stairs.

Carmy stepped back nodding his head, “Uh yeah please if you don’t mind.” He sent you an awkward smile, guilt creeping up his chest. You smiled turning to head up stairs and drop his present off, he called out to you as made it halfway up the stairs. You stopped turning to face him, “I uh, I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

Carmy watched as you drew your lips up into a broad smile. He knew it was fake though, that small sparkle wasn’t in your eyes, the edges of them not crinkling either the way he had once been used to your pretty teeth not making an appearance for him either. He watched as you sent him a small shrug, “It’s okay Carmy, I wasn’t expecting one anyway.” You resumed your journey upstairs to his room.

Carmen was left alone at the bottom of the staircase, eyes still glued to the spot you were just minutes ago. He closed his eyes trying to get a deep breath into his lungs. Carmy was trying to understand how he had ever deserved to once have you in his life, he was a grade A fucking asshole to you, and you still treated him with the same love and thoughtfulness you always had. Carmy made a decision in that moment, as soon as this night was over, he was buying you a fucking Christmas present.

You closed the door behind you as you exited Carmy’s childhood room, the air of nostalgia pressing down on you while you were in there almost suffocating you. You had been in there entirely too long, easily getting caught up in how much easier life was when you and Carmy used to build pillow forts and tell ghost stories in there. You had meant to just place the present at the foot of his bed and go, but you found yourself getting caught up in the memories and flipping through the various culinary books that had been sitting on the nightstand paying extra close attention to the pages that had been tabbed.

By the time you made it to the dining room everyone had sat down and the only empty seat was to the right of Sugar and directly across from Carmy. You walked in brows pitched together at the commotion that could be heard, eyes locking with Carmy’s at the same time something aggressively hit your thigh.

A chorus of “Michael” could be heard around the dining room. You looked down at the sound of metal clanging against metal, one fork laying next to your foot another a little ways in front of it. Bending down you scooped the two forks up in your hand. You looked around the table even more confused than you already were eyes darting to Mikey as he threw his arms open in greeting, “Baby! Nice of you to join us, mind doing me a favor and handing me those forks?” Your eyes flashed to the forks in your hand before taking in everyone’s expressions around the table.

You had no clue what you had just walked into. You looked in Carmy and Nat’s direction, the two of them subtly shaking their heads. Your eyes found Mikey’s again a little unnerved by the look in his eyes, “They were just on the floor so I’ll just go wash them off real qui-.”

The sound of palms slamming against the table cut off your explanation causing you to flinch where you were standing, eyes still glued to Mikey, “Sorry Baby, I’m sorry,” his hands raised in a placating gesture. “Just hand me the forks alright, don't needa wash ‘em off,” You gulped your head nodding slowly as you took the few steps in Mikey’s direction. He carefully took them from your grip, a mocking smile pulling at his lips.

You gave him a small nod quickly retreating to your seat. You shuffled your chair in Stevie helping to push the back of it. All was silent for a moment as everyone looked at each other, you doing everything in your power to avoid anyone’s eyes. A quiet laugh broke the silence followed a whispered “Of fucking course.”

Mikey’s eyes snapped back to Lee eyes zeroing in on the older man, “What did you just say?” The question sounded more like a demand to your ears. Lee laughed again shrugging his shoulders turning his own eyes to glare at Mikey, “I said of course she’s gonna fucking do what you say the girl has no fucking backbone.”

An echo of “Lee,” and “What the fuck,” could be heard from both Richie and Cicero, one trying to the diffuse the situation, the other not settling for the unwarranted disrespect thrown at you. Your head shot up a frown decorating your features eyes locking on Carmy’s as he shook his a head a plea for you to ignore it and not further feed into the chaos

You ignored Carmy turning in your chair to face Lee, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean Lee?” Stevie’s hand reached up to lightly pat your shoulder trying to calm you down before aggressively being shrugged off.

Lee faced you with a sardonic smile pressing into his lips “Is somebody gonna tell her? Do I have to tell her?” He looked around the table looking for anyone to take the reins from him, “I’m sorry that nobodies honest with you sweetheart, but you’re just a glorified lap dog.” He shrugged his shoulders as if in apology, “Just a bitch he keeps on a leash.”

Your mouth opened a little bit confused as to how this conversation had become a personal attack on you. Everyone at the table had brought forth different reactions after that revelation, anyone who knew Mikey knew he didn’t take kindly to disrespect thrown your way. You felt a foot nudge yours under the table taking you away from the ensuing chaos. You turned to Sugar who was focused on the scene in front of her too worried about Mikey to be paying attention to you. You felt the nudge again, eyes finding Carmen's eyebrows raised in a silent question, eyes searching your face to catch any remaining emotions, you smoothed out the frown on your face sending him a small nod to let him know you were fine.

The two of you were drawn back to the argument before you as the two men began berating each other again, voices growing louder by the second. You watched Mikey’s face lose any sort of emotion as Lee took a shot at his drug use. You felt your heart squeeze in your chest at Mikey’s reaction, you couldn’t lie you thought both men were being extremely childish but you hated how that was one of the things people latched onto when purposely trying to hurt Mikey.

The table remained silent; the only sound filling the room was the ticking of a clock in the background, everyone doing their best to not cause any reasons to incite more violence. The anxiety caused you to bounce your leg up and down unsure as to where the rest of this night was going, you felt a foot gently tap the toe of your shoe, something Carmy used to do whenever you needed reassurance that everything would be okay and other forms of physical contact were impossible.

You watched as Mikey pawned Pete’s fork from its set place, an uproar going around the table pleading with Mikey. You sat there silently watching the scene if 10 other people hadn’t already gotten through to Mikey, you were sure and 11th voice joining the mix would be completely useless at this point.

Sugar’s voice cut through the chaos attention zeroed in on Mikey, “Michael. Please don’t do this.” You watched as Mikey focused his attention on Sugar, “I love you.” Being her final plea as Mikey seemed to be weighing his options. The discourse between the two continued as everybody watched with bated breath waiting to see what the next move would be.

Steve’s unwarranted giggle broke Michael’s focus, his rush of apologies being brushed off by Mikey all in the name of fun. Cicero decided he might be the one to finally get through to Mikey playing his hand at mediator. You watched Mikey’s erratic behavior in silence, you weren’t usually privy to this side of Mikey, never being in town long enough to catch one of his episodes. It scared you, and it wasn’t necessarily Mikey that was scaring you but knowing that his switch could be flipped in such a timely manner that had you worrying about his safety.

The argument being nowhere near resolved as Lee’s constant instigating kept fueling the fire. Mikey’s sudden movement to stand up caused your heart to race, you honestly couldn’t give two shits about Lee’s wellbeing, your only concern was Mikey and what was going through his head at that moment.

You held your head in your hands that were propped up on the table by your elbows, the impending headache beginning to make an appearance. The animal noises coming from Mikey’s direction doing nothing to ease the ache behind your eyes. Doing your best to drown out Lee’s constant attack on Mikey’s character.

The clapping around the table drawing your head up as Donna danced into the dining room, you felt so exhausted you couldn’t even muster up a fake smile to appease her. “What did I miss?” Donna laughed as she made her way to her seat, a quiet “nothing” being her answer. “I missed something,” she said while sitting in her designated spot.

Donna’s eyes met yours, letting out another laugh “Jesus you look fucking miserable Baby. I definitely missed something.” You let out a small chuckle forcing your lips into a pathetic smile, you hand coming up to play with your own fork that was sat on the place mat, “Nothing Mama D, just Lee being a fucking cunt.”

The table fell quiet any hope for a somewhat peaceful family dinner squandered by your remark. All eyes flocked to Donna as she let out a full belly laugh, hand coming down to hit the table. The same hand moving up to point at you, “Now that’s fucking funny Baby.” A shit eating grin stretching across your face, Carmy letting out an exasperated sigh at his mom feeding into your antics.

“Uh, Stevie, Stevie’s about to say grace, Ma.” Mikey interjected trying to stir Christmas dinner back on his rightful course, Donna looked appeased eyes happily finding Steve’s figure as she waited for him to begin. A small back and forth between Mikey and Stevie ensued before that latter began his prayer.

“Um..Hey. Uh.. that we’re all…” Michelle’s laugh interrupting her partner causing you to laugh but quickly stopping at the soft pinch on your thigh earned from Sugar. You fell silent as you listened to Stevie give what seemed more like an awkward ramble rather than a prayer.

You could feel Carmy’s eyes darting across your figure as Stevie gave his explanation of what he thought the seven fishes symbolized. “I think that spending time and using that time on the people that we love is how we show them that we love them.” You had looked up in that moment, eyes connecting with Carmy’s piercing blue ones. Neither of you gave into the urge to look away, instead drinking each other in like two plants feeling the first drop of rain after a drought.

Your attention both drawn away by Donna’s quiet sniffles a chorus of praises sent in her direction in order to calm her aching heart.

“You okay?” Natalie’s question causes you to flop back in your chair, eyes clenching shut. You knew all Nat had was good intentions and would always be the first one to put Donna’s mental well-being first, but you also knew what it felt like to feel so overstimulated that those two measly would send you in a downward spiral.

“Do you know how much I fucking hate it when you ask me that? Do I not look okay Natalie?” Donna’s mood shifted just as quickly as it had been the whole day. Her unknown limit was reached in the span of a minute.

“Not really.” Michelle’s subtle shade drew a hardly restrained laugh out of you, “Oh, fuck you Michelle.” Donna snapped before setting her sights on you, “Is something funny Baby? Hmm?” The question causes the lingering smile to immediately drop your back going straight against the chair, your head quickly shaking back and forth throat clearing before answering Donna, “No ma’am.” You admitted head still on a swivel to ease Donna’s agitation.

You glanced at Carmy, his whole being sunken in as he looked at you as if your existence was exhausting him at this moment. Regardless of Carmen’s look you know your mom would’ve crucified your ass for walking into Donna Berzatto’s house and feeling comfortable enough to disrespect her not only to her face, but with a bunch of her peers around.

“Are you motherfuckers okay?” Donna continued on letting her subdued rage out the table silent so as to not enrage her any further. “Fuck you!” The smashing of glass as the plate hit the ground causing you to flinch, leg knocking into Carmy’s from the sudden noise, his knee tapping yours twice to reassure you everything would be fine.

Donna made her exit while berating Sugar, who sat there speechless unaware of why her need to make sure her mom was well was taken as a personal attack. Lee’s unprovoked comment about Donna’s tirade irritating you along with Michelle’s comment about it being her worst moment.

It was funny to you how each and everyone sitting at this table would drag themselves here every year. To sit in Donna’s house, to eat Donna’s food. To reap the rewards of the countless hours of Donna’s hard work, only to dismiss her because she had become so overstimulated the only reaction she knew to give was unadulterated rage.

You saw Mikey’s hand move before the fork flew across the table narrowly missing Lee’s head. The older man jumping up no longer tolerating the eldest Berzatto’s antics, Mikey following suit the clattering of the dishes loud as he threw his side of the table. The two men trying to force themselves out of the arms of the people holding them back seemingly ready to tear each other apart.

Silence fell upon the room as a loud crash was heard, the screeching of tires following after. You stood up from your seat mouth dropping open at the Mercedes Benz now sitting in the dining room. Mikey’s voice screaming at Donna to open the door as Sugar tightly grasped your arm lingering on the table, trying to ground herself. The two of you are the only remaining guests still sitting down. Your eyes followed Carmy’s as he stared blankly at the fork lodged into a cannoli.

Your head was pounding at this point, the small headache from earlier now feeling more like a migraine. You slipped your arm from Sugar’s grasp removing yourself from the dining room table as quietly as you could, you quickly walked to the front door. Every bone in your body was screaming at you to walk out that door and not come back, to protect your own peace. You plopped down on the porch step head resting against your knees, as much as you wanted to leave, your heart wouldn’t allow you to leave the Berzatto siblings to this mess alone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home with us?” Sugar asked one final time as her and Pete were standing in the open doorway. “Pete will take you to the airport in a couple of hours.” You smiled pulling Sugar into a hug, the two of you lingering in the other’s embrace a much needed hug after the day you had.

You pulled back, placing a kiss against her cheek, “Get home Nat, I’ll have Mikey drop me off.” You could tell she was ready to protest but Pete grabbed her elbow gaining her attention, “She’s right you need rest.” You nodded in agreement with Pete, happy that Nat had found someone who would always put her first.

“Listen to Pete Nat, I promise I’ll be fine,” You gave her hand a squeeze the uncertainty still clinging to her features before she let out an exhausted sigh head nodding as she pulled you into one last quick hug. “Call me as soon as you get home okay?” It was your turn to nod, urging the two of them out the door before closing and locking it behind them.

You leaned your head against the cool surface of the door, you had no desire to sit on a plane for four hours, but you also had no desire to extend your stay in Chicago for longer than needed. Sighing you made your way into the kitchen to make sure all the appliances were turned off before flipping off the lights and making your way to the stairs.

The closing of a door caught your attention, your eyes shooting up and landing on Carmy’s tired face, the bags under his eyes seeming to have darkened from the stress of the day. He stopped in his tracks looking at you as well, eyes not blinking for a moment, “You’re still here?” His question caused you to frown confused at the hostile question.

His eyes darted across your face, throat clearing, “No, I uh didn’t mean it like that. Just thought you would’ve been gone by now.” You nodded understanding where he was coming from. “I’m actually looking for Mikey, have you seen him? He’s supposed to take me to the airport.”

Carmy felt his jaw clench at the mention of Mikey, he was getting real fucking tired of hearing about the two of you together. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much but he hadn’t expected to be spending his first Christmas home in a while worrying about Mikey’s role in your life.

“Uh, Mikey took off a bit ago. I don’t think he’ll be home anytime soon.” You felt your eyes instinctively close a tired sigh escaping through your lips. The last thing you wanted to do was head to the airport this early and wait for your flight. You had hoped you’d be able to catch a quick nap before heading out.

“I could, ahem, I could drive you.” You watched as Carmy ran a hand through his hair, eyes looking everywhere but you, “I mean only if you want though you know?” You felt a small smile tug at your lips, Carmy's awkward behavior endearing to you, you could tell he felt self-conscious about even offering up such an idea, and you understood, it was kind of out of left field for two people who hadn’t been on the best of terms.

“Honestly Carmy I would fucking love that,” You smiled in his direction thankful that you could count on one of the Berzatto brothers. “Um do you think I can take a shower though, kind of just wanna wash the day off.” You gave a small chuckle to try and alleviate any tension your request may have caused.

You watched Carmy’s head nod rapidly, words failing him in that moment. He turned heading to his childhood room expecting you to follow in his footsteps. You entered behind him, the room feeling impossibly smaller with the two of you now taking up space. You watched Carmy frantically move around the room returning to your side with a stack of clothes in his hand, you smiled gratefully taking the clothes from his hand before making your way towards the en suite.

Carmy watched as you closed the door behind you, hands moving to run down his face as his brain tried to piece together how after everything that had gone down today, you were taking a shower in his childhood bathroom.

You stepped out of the shower quickly wrapping the fluffy towel that you had found under the sink around your body. Your hand reached up to wipe the steam off the mirror, you stood there for a moment taking in your appearance grateful to have taken a shower but a little nervous about spending time in close quarters with Carmy after being apart for so long.

Your eyes turned to the pile of clothes sitting atop the countertop, you took inventory of the items. A white tee shirt that you just knew hugged Carmy deliciously, sweats that were sure to be baggy on your frame, a pair of socks and boxers you hoped had been washed prior to being offered to you.

The lotion bottle sitting next to the sink caught your attention, not giving it a second thought as you reached for Carmy’s signature scent lathering it on your body and quickly getting dressed. You exited the bathroom throwing your damp towel in the hamper next to the bathroom door. Taking a step into the room your eyes found Carmy sitting on his twin sized bed, legs propped up as a book rested on his knees, highlighter clenched between his teeth as he raptly read his book.

It wasn’t the position that kept your focus though. It was the tank top that showed off his toned biceps, shoulders sculpted just right. His signature gold chain complimenting the white tank top. You did your best to stop staring, eyes skating across his ink covered skin as an excuse to keep checking him out.

“You’re staring.” Your eyes shot to Carmy’s face, his eyes still stuck on his book. You cleared your throat gaining his attention, hand gesturing to the door behind you, “I hope you don’t mind I kind of used your shower gel…and your lotion.” Carmy nodded listening to you speak, “I drew the line at your 2in1 Head and Shoulders though, that was a real disappointment Carmen.” You sent him a teasing smile as you made your way to his bedroom door.

“Wait where are you going?” You stopped looking back at Carmy confusion washing over your face, “I was just gonna nap on the couch, I don’t want to intrude in your space any longer,” You calmly explained. Carmy stared at you for a few minutes, bright eyes drilling holes into your own, you watched as he moved to the opposite side of the bed before patting the spot he had just been in “Just uh, nap here okay?” You felt your heart rate pick up at the gesture, a little annoyed that basic human decency had your heart trying to race out of your chest.

Carmy raised his eyes in your direction waiting for you to take the spot. You quickly shuffled over, adjusting the pillow so you could lay down comfortably. You laid down on your right side, head facing Carmy, studying his face as he read. Watching as every few minutes he would highlight a sentence he probably found particularly interesting. His eyes so focused on what was in front of him you almost wondered if his body remembered how to blink. Your eyes traced down the side of his face, gliding down his neck and landing on his gold chain that caused your body to warm, your tongue peeking out unconsciously to lick your lips.

Continuing your path across Carmy’s shoulder your hand reached up to gently caress his ‘773’ tattoo. Index finger tracing every number before making its way down to what appeared to be a measuring cup holding the world.

Carmy’s head shot in your direction at the first touch of your soft finger against his skin, he watched your finger carefully tracing the ink lining his arms. He saw the concentration on your face doing his best to hold back a sigh at the feel of your skin against his. He had to convince himself to not reach out and push the hair out of your face to get a clear view of what you looked like at this angle. Carmy allowed you to continue your investigation, his own eyes darting across the visible side of your face, eyes falling to your pulse point imagining what it would feel like to place his hand there. His eyes were drawn to the medium sized ‘B’ in a typewriter-like font painted in the space behind your ear.

Carmy shakily reached out hand cupping the left side of your neck as his thumb gently ran back and forth over the single letter, “Baby?” You looked up at Carmy eyes meeting his as he tapped the ink behind your ear to signify what he was questioning. You gulped feeling the tension in the air as his eyes searched back and forth between your own.

“It could stand for Berzatto if you wanted it to.” You weren’t sure where the confidence to allow that whisper to leave your lips came from, but you weren’t going to pretend you regretted it.

You watched Carmy’s Adam's apple bob up and down. The grip of his hand tightening against your neck momentarily as he coughed before removing his hand. Eyes leaving yours as he shut the book still laying in his lap and placed it on the bedside table, “Ahem, It's late, get some rest I’ll wake you when it's time to leave.” You were given no time to interject as Carmy turned off his bedside lamp and turned so his back was facing you.

You sighed eyes now piercing the space between his shoulder blades. Leaning forward you pressed a small gentle kiss to the bare skin of his shoulder. “Goodnight Carmen. Sweet dreams.” You turned as well, not even being able to face his back.

Carmy’s breath caught in his throat, your lips feeling as if they had been branded into his skin. He took the chance adjusting his own body around, the size of his childhood bed causing the two of you to be pressed flushed together. The soft gasp you let out causing his heart to race his mind going a mile a minute, thoughts doing their best to talk him out of whatever the hell he thought he was doing right now.

His arm found its way around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him, your backside pretty much in his lap at this point. Neither of you said a word. Carmy's face made its home in the crook of your neck. The faint scent of your lavender and vanilla perfume lulling him into a dreamlike state.

a/n: goodness did i hate the first draft of this chapter : ( and i still hate this draft, but the carmy x reader fluff at the end made me feel better lol. the family dinner truly killed me though and i’m so glad to be done with the christmas arc. i hope you all enjoy please like/reblog/comment or interact in whatever way you feel comfortable. i appreciate you all so much thank you for the support! 💜

idk if this needed to be said or not but this is obviously and AU at this point lol

tag list: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluuvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @gcidrvsh @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @kailyn-g05 @khena

i hope i got everyone, strikethrough means i couldn’t tag : (

[tamelee]

Just something to add in your list of reasons why Boruto sucks, the last few chapters we have this character Eida whose main power is that everyone falls in love with her except if you are an otsutski or have a karma. So only Boruto and Kawaki are not affected by her (it’s not shown yet if her powers will affect Naruto and Sasuke since they haven’t encountered her face to face).

And Eida developed this crush on Kawaki when she learned that Kawaki will not be affected by her powers, as she wants to experience a person to really like her not just because of her powers. So in order to get her in Konoha’s side they bargained Kawaki to her (it was Shikamaru’s idea but off course approved by Naruto) so now they are cohabitating in one house (Eida, her brother, Kawaki and Boruto) like big brother style where everyone gets monitored and they can talk to people outside of the house. In one scene we can see Kawaki sleeping on her lap after he got knocked off by her brother, I think? And she is blushing furiously around Kawaki.

This story line is so weird, and Eida’s character design is no different than the other pre-teen kunoichi as her clothes are too short. I’m starting to think that Ikemoto have a thing for women’s bare legs 🙄 and the manga is released once a month however I still feel like reading a weekly issued shounen manga. In my opinion the story didn’t move much this year as they introduced these new characters.

Well the overall story telling really sucks, you really can’t feel the same passion for story telling that we experienced before in Naruto. And I just want Naruto and Sasuke to be out of this circus already.

... 💀 I'm trying to read it. I really am. I have many asks regarding Boruto and I want to read it because I'm trying to figure out something about the Hitai-ate. But it's so.. well, that. It's so hard to go through.

"the last few chapters we have this character Eida whose main power is that everyone falls in love with her except if you are an otsutski or have a karma."

Yeah.. I mean I know about the character but I haven't reached that part of the "story" yet but it honestly sounds like a bad y/n fic. I wonder if they asked Esaka and her smug attitude to take part in the writing. I saw my friend ranting about the "cohabitating in one house" scene but what the hell are they doing? It's all just fan service at this point. Creepy and weird. A disservice to all its previous foundation/setup. Like some Netflix reality series in Shonen format so you can gossip about it on social media like they're human beings or something. It's so weeeiirrrdd.

"Well the overall story telling really sucks, you really can’t feel the same passion for story telling that we experienced before in Naruto. And I just want Naruto and Sasuke to be out of this circus already."

Sigh. Did they ever ask themselves why they bothered to make this sequel? Why bother telling this story anyway? Their intentions are pretty clear that it's profit only and that is frustrating sure, but there is so much labor that goes into creating something like this. Why not make it worth it. I honestly don't get it. So much potential wasted even if Naruto's ending left people disappointed. Stories can work wonders. It is such a powerful tool they have in their hands and with such a developed world already existing how can you screw it up so badly? That takes skill. Kishimoto created the story and with that in mind started drawing the characters, its world, the expressions, thought of camera angles and the panels there was a lot of passion that went into Naruto. 'Boruto' should've never been made, ever.

[searidings]

hi! i admire the way you write. it feels like every sentence is intentional and necessary to the story you're telling. i'm equally in awe of the stories you spin and your characterisation, but do you have any tips regarding the more "technical" side of writing? of course, practice is important, as with any craft you want to hone, but is there specific "rules" you personally like to keep in mind?

alright as always i have no training in creative writing this is just some of what i personally do after years of practice and trial and error. buckle up, this one got long

- read what you've written, then read it again. if there are parts you stumble over or that feel clunky when you read through, change them. if they're clunky/unclear for you, they'll almost definitely be clunky/unclear for someone not following your thought processes. if it helps, read it aloud, especially dialogue. does it sound like something a real human would say? double check every time

- avoid repetition. personally, reading the same word used multiple times close together drives me crazy. don't use thirty "said"s in a row, but don't use thirty "gasped"s either. mix it up. thesaurus.com is your friend. double check the meaning of new words if you aren't 100% certain on when to use them. i personally expand my vocabulary by like 10 new words with every fic i write. unexpected, funky words stick in people's minds and add interest

- show, don't tell. pretty sure this is the cardinal rule of every form of writing, but it bears repeating. don't tell your reader how someone is feeling, highlight why they might be feeling that way and then demonstrate that they are feeling that way through body language, interactions etc. don't treat your reader like an idiot. inference is a gift

- sensory details!!!!!! not just what a character sees but also what they smell/hear/taste/touch. nothing makes writing more immersive than dragging the reader in by making them engage their own five senses by proxy. jarring sensations especially capture attention. the taste of blood, the sound of nails on a chalkboard, the smell of burning plastic. not everything has to be neat and pretty. things that are gritty and real can make stories more grounding, more realistic

- mix up high and low imagery. i personally approach stories by imagining the scene as if in a movie in my head, then do my best to describe it so that others will see what i see, but the key is balance. you can absolutely wax lyrical about how the breath shudders from your character's lungs like the divine chorus of an angel on the wing, but don't do it all the time. bring it back down to earth with low imagery. mention the smell of coffee in the background or the freezer humming in the kitchen. for me, imagery is a balance between taking people out of the real world and allowing imagination to run free in an abundance of gorgeous metaphors, while simultaneously tying the scene to reality in such a way that your descriptions don't become inaccessible and unsubstantiated

- pacing and content. does what you're writing add something to the story as a whole? that's not to say every single word has to advance plot. but it has to advance something. does it give us a new insight into a character, expound on some background info, provide a break of comedic relief? great. but is it just a paragraph you kind of like, something you've probably said before in slightly different words? then maybe you don't need it. i approach fiction the way i approach academic essays. at the end of every paragraph, what should your reader have taken away? is there a clear message, or at least a clear link to an ongoing message? if not, do you really need to say it?

- adverbs. the great love/hate relationship of my existence. people who say you can't ever use -ly adverbs (quickly, happily etc.) are not the kind of people i need in my life. however, it's very easy to over-use them. if every single verb in a paragraph is followed by a -ly adverb, you might be overdoing it (i frequently encounter this problem). use them, but sparingly. try and find alternative ways to communicate the same message. adverbial phrases are your friend

- get creative. put words together in fun new ways. not everything needs to be literal. for example, the phrase "poison courses acid-bright through her bones". acid isn't bright. it's got nothing to do with light at all. but it paints a picture, conjures images of white-hot burning, adds to the overall effect. and, most importantly, if it's a little weird or out of the ordinary it catches people's attention and sticks in their minds. it can take some time to figure this one out but have fun with it! play around with language! all words are are puzzle pieces. try and put them together to create a picture no one's ever made before

- as always, think about what you like to read, and take from that. think about phrases that have stuck with you or moved you. why? what techniques work on you as a reader? can you do something similar as a writer? can you recreate things you've liked with your own personal twist? i figured out what i like to write by first figuring out what i like to read, and then writing it for myself. cliché, but it worked for me!

[army-of-mai-lovers]

in which I get progressively angrier at the various tropes of atla fandom misogyny

tbh I think it would serve all of us to have a larger conversation about the specific ways misogyny manifests in this fandom, because I’ve seen a lot of people who characterize themselves as feminists, many of whom are women themselves, discuss the female characters of atla/lok in misogynistic ways, and people don’t talk about it enough. 

disclaimer before I start: I’m not a woman, I’m an afab nonbinary person who is semi-closeted and thus often read as a woman. I’m speaking to things that I’ve seen that have made me uncomfy, but if any women (esp women existing along other axes of oppression, e.g. trans women, women of color, disabled women, etc) want to add onto this post, please do!

“This female character is a total badass but I’m not even a little bit interested in exploring her as a human being.” 

I’ve seen a lot of people say of various female characters in atla/lok, “I love her! She’s such a badass!” now, this statement on its own isn’t misogynistic, but it represents a pretty pervasive form of misogyny that I’ve seen leveled in large part toward the canon female love interests of one or both of the members of a popular gay ship (*cough* zukka *cough*) I’m going to use Suki as an example of this because I see it with her most often, but it can honestly be applied to nearly every female character in atla/lok. Basically, people will say that they stan Suki, but when it comes time to engage with her as an actual character, they refuse to do it. I’ve seen meta after meta about Zuko’s redemption arc, but I so rarely see people engage with Suki on any level beyond “look at this cool fight scene!” and yeah, I love a cool Suki fight scene as much as anybody else, but I’m also interested in meta and headcanons and fics about who she is as a person, when she isn’t an accessory to Sokka’s development or doing something cool. of course, the material for this kind of engagement with Suki is scant considering she doesn’t have a canon backstory (yet) (don’t let me down Faith Erin Hicks counting on you girl) but with the way I’ve seen people in this fandom expand upon canon to flesh out male characters, I know y’all have it in you to do more with Suki, and with all the female characters, than you currently do. frankly, the most engagement I’ve seen with Suki in mainstream fandom is justifying either zukki (which again, is characterizing her in relation to male characters, one of whom she barely interacts with in canon) or one of the Suki wlw pairings. which brings me to--

“I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!” 

now, I will admit, two of my favorite atla ships are yueki and mailee, and so I totally understand being interested in these characters’ dynamics, even if, as is the case with yueki, they’ve never interacted canonically. however, it becomes a problem for me when these ships are always in the background of a zukka fic. at some point, it becomes obvious that you like this ship because it gets either Zuko or Sokka’s female love interests out of the way, not because you actually think the characters would mesh well together. It’s bad form to dislike a female character because she gets in the way of your gay ship, so instead, you find another girl to pair her off with and call it a day. to be clear, I’m not saying that everybody who ships either mailee or yueki (or tysuki or maisuki or yumai or whatever other wlw rarepair involving Zuko or Sokka’s canon love interests) is nefariously trying to sideline a female character while acting publicly as if she’s is one of their faves--far from it--but it is noteworthy to me how difficult it is to find content that centers wlw ships, while it’s incredibly easy to find content that centers zukka in which mailee and/or yueki plays a background role. 

also, notice how little traction wlw Katara ships gain in this fandom. when’s the last time you saw yuetara on your dash? there’s no reason for wlw Katara ships to gain traction in a fandom that is so focused on Zuko and Sokka getting together, bc she doesn’t present an immediate obstacle to that goal (at least, not an obstacle that can be overcome by pairing her up with a woman). if you are primarily interested in Zuko and Sokka’s relationship, and your queer readings of other female characters are motivated by a desire to get them out of the way for zukka, then Katara’s canon m/f relationship isn’t a threat to you, and thus, there’s no reason to read her as potentially queer. Or even, really, to think about her at all. 

“Katara’s here but she’s not actually going to do anything, because deep down, I’m not interested in her as a person.” 

the show has an enormous amount of textual evidence to support the claim that Sokka and Katara are integral parts of each other’s lives. so, she typically makes some kind of appearance in zukka content. sometimes, her presence in the story is as an actual character with layers and nuance, someone whom Sokka cares about and who cares about Sokka in return, but also has her own life and goals outside of her brother (or other male characters, for that matter.) sometimes, however, she’s just there because halfway through writing the author remembered that Sokka actually has a sister who’s a huge part of the show they’re writing fanfiction for, and then they proceed to show her having a meetcute with Aang or helping Sokka through an emotional problem, without expressing wants or desires outside of those characters. I’m honestly really surprised that I haven’t seen more people calling out the fact that so much of Katara’s personality in fanon revolves around her connections to men? she’s Aang’s girlfriend, she’s Sokka’s sister, she’s Zuko’s bestie. never mind that in canon she spends an enormous amount of time fighting against (anachronistic, Westernized) sexism to establish herself as a person in her own right, outside of these connections. and that in canon she has such interesting complex relationships with other female characters (e.g. Toph, Kanna, Hama, Korra if you want to write lok content) or that there are a plethora of characters with whom she could have interesting relationships with in fanon (Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, Yue, Smellerbee, and if you want to write lok content, Kya II, Lin, Asami, Senna, etc). to me, the lack of fandom material exploring Katara’s relationships with other women or with herself speak to a profound indifference to Katara as a character. I’m not saying you have to like Katara or include her in everything you write, but I am asking you to consider why you don’t find her interesting outside of her relationships with men.

“I hate Katara because she talks about her mother dying too often.” 

this is something I’ve seen addressed by people far more qualified than I to address it, but I want to mention it here in part because when I asked people which fandom tropes they wanted me to talk about, this came up often, but also because I find it really disgusting that this is a thing that needs to be addressed at all. Y’all see a little girl who watched her mother be killed by the forces of an imperialist nation and say that she talks about it too much??? That is a formational, foundational event in a child’s life. Of course she’s going to talk about it. I’ve seen people say that she doesn’t talk about it that often, or that she only talks about it to connect with other victims of fn imperialism e.g. Jet and Haru, but frankly, she could speak about it every episode for no plot-significant reason whatsoever and I would still be angry to see people say she talks about it too much. And before you even bring up the Sokka comparison, people deal with grief in different ways. Sokka  repressed a lot of his grief/channeled it into being the “man” of his village because he knew that they would come for Katara next if he gave them the opportunity. he probably would talk about his mother more if a) he didn’t feel massive guilt at not being able to remember what she looked like, and b) he was allowed to be a child processing the loss of his mother instead of having to become a tiny adult when Hakoda had to leave to help fight the fn. And this gets into an intersection with fandom racism, in that white fans (esp white American fans) are incapable of relating to the structural trauma that both Sokka and Katara experience and thus can’t see the ways in which structural trauma colors every single aspect of both of their characters, leading them to flatten nuance and to have some really bad takes. And you know what, speaking of bad fandom takes--   

“Shitting on Mai because she gets in the way of my favorite Zuko ship is actually totally okay because she’s ~abusive~” 

y’all WHAT. 

ok listen, I get not liking maiko. I didn’t like it when I first got into fandom, and later I realized that while bryke cannot write romance to save their lives, fans who like maiko sure can, so I changed my tune. but if you still don’t like it, that’s fine. no skin off my back. 

what IS skin off my back is taking instances in which Mai had justified anger toward Zuko, and turning it into “Mai abused Zuko.” do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? this is another thing where I get so angry about it that I don’t know how useful my analysis is actually going to be, but I’ll do my best. numerous people have noted how analysis of Mai and Zuko’s breakup in “The Beach” or Mai being justifiably angry with him at Boiling Rock or her asking for FUCKING FRUIT in “Nightmares and Daydreams” that says that all of these events were her trying to gain control over him is....ahhh...lacking in reading comprehension, but I’d like to go a step further and talk about why y’all are so intent on taking down a girl who doesn’t show emotion in normative ways. obviously, there’s a “Zuko can do no wrong” aspect to Mai criticism (which is super weird considering how his whole arc is about how he can do lots of wrong and he has to atone for the wrong that he’s done--but that’s a separate post.) But I also see slandering Mai for not expressing her emotions normatively and not putting up with Zuko’s shit and slandering Katara for “talking about her mother too often” as two sides of the same coin. In both cases, a female character expresses emotions that make you, the viewer, uncomfortable, and so instead of attempting to understand where those emotions may have come from and why they might be manifesting the way they are, y’all just throw the whole character away. this is another instance of people in the fandom being fundamentally disinterested in engaging with the female characters of atla in a real way, except instead of shallowly “stanning” Mai, y’all hate her. so we get to this point where female characters are flattened into one of two things: perfect queens who can do no wrong, or bitches. and that’s not who they are. that’s not who anyone is. but while we as a fandom are pretty good at understanding b1 Zuko’s actions as layered and multifaceted even though he’s essentially an asshole then, few are willing to lend the same grace to any female character, least of all Mai. 

and what’s funny is sometimes this trope will intersect with “I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”, so you’ll have someone actively calling Mai toxic/problematic/abusive, and at the same time ship her with Ty Lee? make it make sense! but then again, maybe that’s happening because y’all are fundamentally disinterested in Ty Lee as a character too. 

“I love Ty Lee so much that I’m going to treat her like an infantilized hypersexual airhead!” 

there are so many things happening in y’alls characterization of Ty Lee that I struggled to synthesize it into one quippy section header. on one hand, you have the hypersexualization, and on the other hand, you have the infantilization, which just makes the hypersexualization that much worse. 

(of course, sexualizing or hypersexualizing ANY atla character is really not the move, considering that these are child characters in a children’s show, but then again, that’s a separate post.) 

now, I understand how, from a very, very surface reading of the text, you could come to the conclusion that Ty Lee is an uncomplicated bimbo. if you grew up on Western media the way I did, you’ll know that Ty Lee has a lot of the character traits we associate with bimbos: the form-fitting pink crop top, the general conventional attractiveness, the ditzy dialogue. but if you think about it for more than three seconds, you’ll understand that Ty Lee has spent her whole life walking a tightrope, trying to please Azula and the rest of the royal family while also staying true to herself. Ty Lee and Azula’s relationship is a really complex and interesting topic that I don’t really have time to explore at the moment given how long this post is, but I’d argue that Ty Lee’s constant, vocal  adulation is at least partially a product of learning to survive at court at an early age. Like Mai, she has been forced to regulate her emotions as a member of fn nobility, but unlike Mai, she also has six sisters who look exactly like her, so she has a motivation to be more peppy and more affectionate to stand out. 

fandom does not do the work to understand Ty Lee. as is a theme with this post, fandom is actively disinterested in investigating female characters beyond a very surface level reading of them. Thus, fandom takes Ty Lee’s surface level qualities--her love of the color pink, her revealing standard outfit, and the fact that once she found a boy attractive and also once a lot of boys found her attractive--and they stretch this into “Ty Lee is basically Karen Smith from Mean Girls.” thus, Ty Lee is painted as a bimbo, or more specifically, as not smart, uncritically adoring of Azula (did y’all forget all the non-zukka bits of Boiling Rock?), and attractive to the point of hypersexualization. I saw somebody make a post that was like “I wish mailee was more popular but I’m also glad it isn’t because otherwise people would write it as Mai having to put up with her dumb gf” and honestly I have to agree!! this is one instance in which I’m glad that fandom doesn’t discuss one of my favorite characters that often because I hate the fanon interpretation of Ty Lee, I think it’s rooted in misogyny (particularly misogyny against East Asian women, which often takes the form of fetishizing them and viewing them only through a Western white male gaze)  

(side note: here at army-of-mai-lovers, we stan bimbos. bimbos are fucking awesome. I personally don’t read Ty Lee as a bimbo, but if that’s you, that’s fucking awesome. keep doing what you’re doing, queen <3 or king or monarch, it’s 2021, anyone can be a bimbo, bitches <3)

“Toph can and will destroy everyone here with her bare hands because she’s a meathead who likes to murder people and that’s it!”  

Toph is, and always has been, one of my favorite ATLA characters. My very first fic in fandom was about her, and she appears prominently in a lot of my other work as well. One thing that I am always struck by with Toph is how big a heart she has. She’s independent, yes, snarky, yes, but she cares about people--even the family that forced her to make herself smaller because they didn’t believe that their blind daughter could be powerful and strong. Her storyline is powerful and emotionally resonant, her bending is cool precisely because it’s based in a “wait and listen” approach instead of just smashing things indiscriminately, she’s great disabled rep, and overall one of the best characters in the show. 

And in fandom, she gets flattened into “snarky murder child.” 

So where does this come from? Well, as we all know, Toph was originally conceived of as a male character, and retained a lot of androgyny (or as the kids call it, Gender) when she was rewritten as a female character. There are a lot of cultural ideas about androgynous/butch women being violent, and people in fandom seem to connect that larger cultural narrative with some of Toph’s more violent moments in the show to create the meathead murder child trope, erasing her canon emotionality, softness, heart, and femininity in the process. 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t write or characterize Toph as being violent or snarky at all ever, because yeah, Toph definitely did do Earth Rumbles a lot before joining the gaang, and yeah, Toph is definitely a sarcastic person who makes fun of her friends a lot. What I am saying is that people take these traits, sans the emotional logic, marry them to their conception of androgynous/butch women as violent/unemotional/uncaring, and thus create a caricature of Toph that is not at all up to snuff. When I see Toph as a side character in a fic (because yeah, Toph never gets to be a main character, because why would a fandom obsessed with one male character in particular ever make Toph a protagonist in her own right?) she’s making fun of people, killing people, pranking people, etc, etc. She’s never talking to people about her emotions, or palling around with her found family, or showing that she cares about her friends. Everything about her relationship with her parents, her disability, her relationship to Gender, and her love of her friends is shoved aside to focus on a version of Toph that is mean and uncaring because people have gotten it into their heads that androgynous/butch women are mean and uncaring. 

again, we see a female character who does not emote normatively or in a way that makes you, the viewer, comfortable, and so you warp her character until she’s completely unrecognizable and flat. and for what? 

Azula

no, I didn’t come up with a snappy name for this section, mainly because fanon interpretations of Azula and my own feelings toward the character are...complicated. I know there were some people who wanted me to write about Azula and the intersection of misogyny and ableism in fanon interpretations of her character, but I don’t think I can deliver on that because I personally am in a period of transition with how I see Azula. that is to say, while I still like her and believe that she can be redeemed, there is a lot of merit to disliking her. the whole point of this post is that the female characters of ATLA are complex people whom the fandom flattens into stereotypes that don’t hold up to scrutiny, or dislike for reasons that don’t make sense. Azula, however, is a different case. the rise of Azula defenders and Azula stans has led to this sentiment that Azula is a 14 y/o abuse victim who shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. it seems to me that people are reacting to a long, horrible legacy of male ATLA fans armchair diagnosing Azula with various personality disorders (and suggesting that people with those personality disorders are inherently monstrous and unlovable which ahhhh....yikes) and then saying that those personality disorders make her unlovable, which is quite obviously bad. and hey, I get loving a character that everyone else hates and maybe getting so swept up in that love that you forget that your fave is complicated and has made some unsavory choices. it sucks that fanon takes these well-written, complex villains/antiheroes and turns them into monsters with no critical thought whatsoever. but the attitude among Azula stans that her redemption shouldn’t be hard, that her being a child excuses all of the bad things that she’s done, that she is owed redemption....all of that rubs me the wrong way. I might make another post about this in the future that discusses this in more depth, but as it stands now: while I understand that there is a legacy of misogynistic, ableist, unnuanced takes on Azula, the backlash to that does not take into account the people she hurt or the fact that in ATLA she does not make the choice to pursue redemption. and yes, Zuko had help in making that choice that Azula didn’t, and yes, Azula is a victim of abuse, but in a show about children who have gone through untold horrors and still work to better the lives of the people around them, that is not enough for me to uncritically stan her. 

Conclusion    

misogyny in this fandom runs rampant. while there are some tropes of fandom misogyny that are well-documented and have been debunked numerous times, there are other, subtler forms of misogyny that as far as I know have gone completely unchecked. 

what I find so interesting about misogyny in atla fandom is that it’s clear that it’s perpetrated by people who are aware of fandom misogyny who are actively trying not to be misogynistic. when I first joined atla fandom last summer, memes about how zukka fandom was better than every other fandom because they didn’t hate the female characters who got in the way of their gay ship were extremely prevalent, and there was this sense that *this* fandom was going to model respectful, fun, feminist online fandom. not all of the topes I’ve outlined are exclusive to or even largely utilized in zukka fandom, but a lot of them are. I’ve been in and out of fandom since I was eleven years old, and most of the fandom spaces I’ve been in have been majority-female, and all of them have been incredibly misogynistic. and I always want to know why. why, in these communities created in large part by women, in large part for women, does misogyny run wild? what I realize now is that there’s never going to be a one-size fits all answer to that question. what’s true for 1D fandom on Wattpad in 2012 is absolutely not true for atla fandom on tumblr in 2021. the answers that I’ve cobbled together for previous fandoms don’t work here. 

so, why is atla fandom like this? why did the dream of a feminist fandom almost entirely focused on the romantic relationship between two male characters fall apart? honestly, I think the notion that zukka fandom ever was this way was horrifically ignorant to begin with. from my very first moment in the fandom, I was seeing racism, widespread sexualization of minors, and yes, misogyny. these aspects of the fandom weren’t talked about as much as the crocverse or other, much more fun aspects. further, atla (specifically zukka) fandom misogyny often doesn’t look like the fandom misogyny we’ve become familiar with from like, Sherlock fandom or what have you. for the most part, people don’t actively hate Suki, they just “stan” without actually caring about her. they hate Mai because they believe in treating male victims of abuse equally. they’re not characterizing Toph poorly, they’re writing her as a “strong woman.” in short, people are misogynistic, and then invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of feminist theory to shield themselves from accusations of misogyny. it’s not unlike the way some people will invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of critical race theory to shield themselves from accusations of racism, or how they’ll talk about “freedom of speech” and “the suppression of women’s sexuality” to justify sexualizing minors. the performance of feminism and antiracism is what’s important, not the actual practice. 

if you’ve made it this far, first off, hi, thanks so much for reading, I know this was a lot. second, I would seriously encourage you to be aware of these fandom tropes and to call them out when you see them. elevate the voices of fans who do the work of bringing the female characters of atla to life. invest in the wlw ships in this fandom. drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic (please, drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic). read some yuetara. let’s all be honest about where we are now, and try to do better in the future. I believe in us.