#the inflammation is so fucking bad
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WHY IS STRESS A FUCKING TRIGGER FOR EVERY MEDICAL CONDITION FUCKING ARTHRITIS FUCKING FUCK
#idk if i can get up again#the inflammation is so fucking bad#it hurts and its throbbing and i can FUCKING USE MY KNEES AS A HEAT PACK FOR THE ARTHRITIS IN MY HANDS#THEYRE SO FUCKING WARM I NOTICED THROUGH MULTIPLE LAYERS OF FABRIC#OH HAHA MY ARTHRITIS IS CAUSING A SYMPTOM THAT CAN TREAT MY ARTHRITIS SO FUCKING FUNNY#fuck my wrists hurt so fucking bad#fucking winter#am i bad enough to have a wheelchair yet come on doc i literally cant stand and my arms cant take weight on my crutches
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does anyone know if we have to roll that rock up the hill again tomorrow
#so to recap what we all know if we're following the Angela is Sickly series#i can't eat tree nuts. i can't eat trail mix that has come in contact with tree nuts. i am uneasy about eating anything that has been in a#facility with tree nuts because i have had allergic reactions just as severe from cross-contamination as i have had from straight up#eating walnuts. the one exception to this rule is pistachios because i have yet to have an issue with them#i don't eat pecans anymore because i had a reaction. almonds are on thin ice i don't really eat them#also. also i dislike nuts. it's not a hard rule but i don't like them at all. i am not a picky eater they just happen to be one of the#foods i dislike they're a bad texture and they taste like wood. except for the beautiful pistachio#and then we have the alpha gal allergy so. it's not Nearly as severe in terms of life-threatening anaphylaptic response but#the trade-off is a week-long world ending stomachache. which is extremely not fun and also could at any point randomly turn into#a more severe allergy so i. sort of don't fuck with it. there are exceptions that i regret every time because ouch. no red meat.#similarly. we respond not too great to dairy. can't have a lot. can't be fixed by lactaid pills or anything because it's not lactose#intolerance it's an allergy. so. no tree nuts except pistachios. no red meat. light dairy. i am twenty pounds underweight.#my doctor told me to keep red meat in my diet if i couldn't maintain my weight and uh. Bad News i can't maintain weight but also it's a#massive trigger so what the fuck do i do here. to be allergic to some of the most caloric and fatty foods out there#tried to start up boosts and i will continue doing so but im getting stomachaches from them too. like the fuck do u do#im eating eggs and avocado and olive oil and peanut butter etc and im still losing weight. i don't ever have an appetite#gets to a point where im like Well we might end up in a fucking hospital because i keep losing weight and idk why#tests aren't showing anything other than alpha gal and minor inflammation we don't have a reason for#tomorrow i will fucking have egg and avocado and olive oil and butter and a boost and an antispasmodic and water and#i will get a stomachache again and be tired again. Onward!#i would feel so much better if i could gain weight and i can't. what do. im so tired all the time <3 15.8bmi <3
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alright i dicked around on youtube and reddit all night but i'm starting my morning semi-strong by having done all my exercises + walking. i used the internet to ID eight different birds and a few plants around my neighborhood & then read about them online & now i'm taking a super hot bath bc the chilly air set off my raynaud's Hard. i ate some breakfast and i'm gonna make myself a cup of coffee post-bath and then i'm gonna take rafi to work n run several adult errands n make several adult phone calls. and i'm going to be Fine. and Not Flare Horribly. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
#autoimmune tag#i've had such a bad few weeks inflammation-wise that i've become scared of eating#keeping my diet to chicken + rice + peanut butter sandwiches + cereal seems to so far be working okay#i am so fucking scared to eat anything that isnt those things. i have been Fucked Up.#food#i guess#give me One Day. where i do all the shit i need to do. without feeling sick.
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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almost every dream i’ve had recently i am eating something that i’m not allowed to eat in real life rn. i miss my favorite foods so much. i miss taking joy in eating. please let this end soon
#last night it was frozen yogurt with peanut butter cups#waaaaaa#i miss chocolate so fucking bad#personal#vent#for clarification i am having stomach inflammation and physically can’t eat these things#i wouldn’t just. diet. lol
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Adding infection to the Sick Siggy Summer 2023 bingo 😭
#it. hurts. SO. BAD.#i am so pitiful#i will not go into detail because ew but i got some antibiotics today after nine days of intense pain and inflammation#and it hurts even worse today like i cannot move#what are the other bingo spots let's see...... 2.5 week cough. fucked up wrist. major depressive episode (x2). back pain is free space.
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sigh. sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh
#she bork#suffering and for what. very irritable at work and neck is hurting and i called my fucking doctor on TEWSDAYE to set a follow up appt now#that my mri revealed i'm completely fucked and they STILL have not called me back. despite me calling again yesterday morning. and my#hormones are being fucking STUPID and idk why i feel burnt out and over work when i just had a vacation?????? maybe bc i didn't get a#performance bonus like i was expecting and i DO in fact think i deserve it for multiple reasons. so like maybe i just have nothing left to#give rn bc there's no incentive. also though i'm vitamin d deficient again so i'm like exhausted all the time and my inflammatory markers on#my bloodwork were all back up bc i've been bad about my meds and i can FEEL the inflammation like bad. like it hasn't been this bad in a#minute. so like combo of all those factors are making me MISERABLE and it sucks. sigh sigh sigh. at least i have the weekend off and#absolutely nothing to do so me and my bf can hang out and have fun tonight and tomorrow and i can just try to relax and rest up
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I am going to kill "God"
For designing such an inefficient machine as the human body...
#health stuff#so I've been struggling with some REAL BAD INFLAMMATION recently#swollen joints. pain after pretty minimal use of them. it's been impacting my mobility pretty hard#and I realized#this started#when I got real sick a couple months ago#and stopped drinking my morning coffee#and just didn't start up again#I didn't have a craving for it and I went Oh Well Cutting back on caffeine is supposed to be Healthy right?#BUT APPARENTLY#APPARENTLY THAT MORNING COFFEE WAS THE FUCKING PAPERCLIP HOLDING THIS GODDAMN CONTRAPTION TOGETHER#BECAUSE NOW THAT I STARTED HAVING MY MORNING CUPPA AGAIN THE PAIN IS BACK TO BEING MORE MANAGEABLE#but now my stamina is shot to shit because the inflammation made it so hard to get around for so long#like can't even make it through the grocery store without needing to rest my back kind of pain#limping along just trying to walk from one department to the other at work#tendon that wouldn't heal for 2 months FEELS FINE WHEN I DRINK THE COFFEE#I HATE THIS I HATE HAVING A HUMAN BODY WHO GREENLIT THIS#I WANNA TALK TO MANAGEMENT
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I'm in so much physical pain daily, I'm afraid there's something seriously wrong with me..
#i have so much inflammation that it's so tender to touch#i thought changing my diet would help but it hasnt changed anything#no doctor has listened to me because of my age as it's uncommon to have anything wrong until you're older???#but i know this isn't normal#if it is a type of cancer do they just say “oooops my bad 😜 we now believe you so go get treatment” and it'll be too fucking late???#no one believes me whenever i talk about my issues... it's fun to be gaslit 24/7#dni as there's nothing anyone can say that'll cheer me up.
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My knuckles are angry at me and idk WHYYYY
#delete later#i havent figured out any pain triggers yet so idk if it's weather related or what? im gonna start taking screenshots of the weather#and pressure on bad hand days to see if theres a pattern#bc its both hands all knuckles pretty much equally so is unlikely to be a stress injury. its inflammation bc cold makes it feel better#usually its the cold that really fucks me up but damn rhis is painful. hurts to be out straight hurts to be curled#its also too painful for me to grip my steam deck so i can't play stardew which is sad#and I'm not eager to do anything thatll stress the joints more so im bored as shit#they probably wouldve been okay but i carried things to the tip and that's defo pissed them off#also original niddle finger clicking has improved but the finger next to it is doing it a little so im having to be real careful.#i need to look up ways to protect my hands while typing bc that's probably where a lot of this new pain is coming from
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ya boy can no longer afford allergy medicine so let's hope my doctor can convince insurance [who has been repeatedly canceling,denying,etc tons of stuff lately] to cover allergy meds :'))
#my allergies are SO fucking bad and consistent#but the allergist dismissed and ignored every ask about getting allergy shots#either the ones to make my allergies less bad or allergy shots for when i'm suffering all of them ignored#i need allergy medicine or i get such bad inflammation my chronic pain ends up 10x worse#i currently feel like i have a toothpick in the part where my neck and chin meet#rot.txt#it's INSANELY doubtful insurance will cover them so please wish me luck
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I justhurt myself while brushing my hair and now the inflammation in my right hand is so bad I can't move my fingers and one of them just started stinging and throbbing f/os save me I'm dying </3
#HELL ON EARTH </3#idk this isn't a vent so idk if it still needs to be tagged as one#anyway fuck my stupid baka life :(#I can use my roght thumb but the rest of my fingers and hurting so bad#they were hurting so bad a few monutes ago I started crying lol#inflammation sucks and I think it should not happen to me. ever ❤#instead I should be kissed my many fictional women <3
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why is it that the first time i really have the motivation and urge to write, my dumbass tendonitis flares up to be like "oh, you wanted to use those wrists, did you?"
#kai rambles#this is just a vent pont#chronic pain#its so fucking annoying#you know#when i first started getting bad bad pain in my wrists and hands#i went to see the doctor#who told me that my tendons were swollen but that the inflammation should go away if i could rest them for about six months#and i was like#im at university how am i meant to rest my hands?#so my options were take at least half a year out from university and have even more student debt#or keep going and hope id be able to rest them enough at the end of the year that maybe the inflammation would go away#but that option would risk the tendonitis becoming chronic#and i weighed it up and thought about it and decided that it was worth the risk because i was already going to have considerable#student debt considering i receieved the highest maintenance loan#that was in like november 2019#could have really used a dodgeball them apollo#especially considering i ended up having to retake half of my final year anyway
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OUR KNEES ARE GETTING HOT AND WE RAN OUT OF ANTI-INFLAMMATORIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
#THE SWELLING IS GONNA BE SO BAD#SO FUCKING BAD#AAAAAAAAAA#FUCK ITS WARM WHY IS THIS AN IMMUNE RESPONSE THE BODY IS CAPABLE OF THERES NOTHING IN THERE TO KILL EXCEPT US STOOOOOP#HOT HOT HOT HOT EEEEEEEEEEEE#'no inflammation so no arthritis' (imagine this said in that mocking sneer tone - fuck that rheumatologist)
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It's so tacky when white liberals attack communist online on the behalf of the poor people who had to suffer the communist (vague) regime in their homeland. I mean if anything communist was a slur I was called in school until I looked it up then realized maybe it's interesting, especially given cultural context, and kind of bold that some people not only reclaim it, but look into it. Because the problem in many case wasn't communism, but corruption and that comes with every political system and turns out that if these people really wanted to genuinely sympathize with us that much and were sincere instead of just oversensitive and doing a shit effort to preserve a good image, well, they'd drop any ounce of patriotism for their own culture, and do the effort to actually analyze its real impacts. But given the current circumstances and various before, I doubt that ever happen. Like if I have to pick between white american kids reclaiming communism or liberals who appopriate every whatever cause to speak on the behalf of people they won't ever try to genuinely understand I wouldn't even hesitate a fucking second.
#i mean if I had to hate anything it wouldn't be communist it would be natalists and trads#those i really really really do hate#and ngl if i see someone whine about communism=bad but they have a cottagecore or dark academia or whatever i just hope they acknowledge#i hope they acknowledge their tastes are worth burning down and probably would do so easily given how inflammable that shit is#but when it comes to wannabe communist the only annoying thing is that often they're confused libs but they try? maybe?#but people who are fucking deep into reclaiming queer but who turn their back to communism it's like who the fuck are these bitches??#especially the ones who only promote perceivingly non-threatening identities and get preachy about anything that really significantly defy#the status-quo on that matter like not that one is more important than the other but if anything should be made palatable and consumable#in a passive and non-threatening way in which sexuality is barely addressed and should remain hidden for people's comfort#then maybe perhaps there is something to be examined and scapegoating in one way or another isn't much better#because the problem isn't people but the portrayal in the mainstream and the biased impression it gives#like for example how unfortunately consider marriage rights and right to adopt and other methods to get kids as the peak achievement as if#the expected goal was to mimic the nuclear model in a different way#it's a lifestyle that work for some but only for some there's many other issues#like the stigmatisation of addiction and other things that easily lead to precarity that applies to us at much higher rates than cishets#but like cishets on that one we're thrown under the bus for our “bad choices”#to be honest there's nothing that pisses me off than very wealthy people coming out at the peak of their carrer and whine about how hard it#is to come out and how many sacrifices they had to do and they tell people they understand why they remain hidden because of how hard it is#when...it shouldn't have been if they weren't so full of shit but ok good impression here great...#there's no courage in there none stop endorsing that shit as courageous when those people wouldn't be whining if they had any#they can blow their nose in bills in their fucking lotus and shut the fuck up
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So I would like to make a post about food allergies given the information I've been taught by my allergist regarding my food allergies.
The difference between food allergy, sensitivity, and intolerance.
Allergy. This is the classic anaphylaxis.
Sensitivity. This is caused by allergies, but the risk here isn't anaphylaxis. It's inflammation in gut that can cause fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, generalized ick feeling.
Intolerance. Your body is literally unable to process the food. It lacks the ability to, which means the food causes inflammation in the gut, causing similar symptoms as sensitivity.
Sensitivities will show up on an allergy test. Intolerance has to take a different test specific for that type of intolerance.
I mention this because I see a lot of fake claiming food allergies that's like "Yeah but I cross contaminated the food with eggs and that didn't kill her. She must be lying." Yeah food sensitivities can be pretty mild. Where if you give them an egg salad, they're gonna be having a bad day. But if you rub egg on their burger, they may not even notice.
Also like there's a lot of medical conditions that can affect a person's diet. They may have stomach issues that means they can't eat a lot of acidic foods, and if saying "Hey, I'm allergic to pineapple" gets you to not put pineapple juice in their drink because it'll cause a flare-up. I'm all for people doing whatever they need to make sure their health is taken seriously. Even if it's outright lying because food allergies is the only fucking thing people seem to take seriously in this world.
Anyways take people's "I can't eat this food" seriously. And don't fake claim them if they go "I can't eat this food but I'm not at risk if there's cross contamination"
-fae
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