#THE SWELLING IS GONNA BE SO BAD
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OUR KNEES ARE GETTING HOT AND WE RAN OUT OF ANTI-INFLAMMATORIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
#THE SWELLING IS GONNA BE SO BAD#SO FUCKING BAD#AAAAAAAAAA#FUCK ITS WARM WHY IS THIS AN IMMUNE RESPONSE THE BODY IS CAPABLE OF THERES NOTHING IN THERE TO KILL EXCEPT US STOOOOOP#HOT HOT HOT HOT EEEEEEEEEEEE#'no inflammation so no arthritis' (imagine this said in that mocking sneer tone - fuck that rheumatologist)
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literally just got my medusa re-done and it might need to be surgically removed because the piercer used the smallest bar imaginable and put the ball on so crookedly that a grown ass adult couldn't take her off. even with pilers 🫠 y'all. if a sketchy uncle ever says "i know a guy" and that guy tells you he prefers smaller bars because he's too lazy to swap them out later on so just don't swell (A NATURAL BODILY REACTION TOTALLY UNCONTROLLABLE). run. don't walk. SPRINT!!!
#have you ever just wept uncontrollably in the middle of a supermarket parking lot#because this thing you've wanted for so long keeps rejecting you???#got her pierced at 17 and she rejected me so badly that i got an infection and had to have her removed#got her repierced ON THURSDAY#and my lip swelled up so bad that there's a very real fear shes gonna embed#she is literally my Moby Dick!!!!!!!!#i want her#she looks so cute beneath my septum#but she doesn't want me😭#i should have known better i know my body i know my piercing history#but i was all naurrrr surely the guy thats been doing this since before i was born Knows Better
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i love. having ibd
#illness#medical#remember the swollen lymph nodes that i suspected were caused by the new ibd medication.#it seemed like the swelling was going away until like late last week when it got worse again#and now they're more sore than before. can't turn my head without hurting somewhere#also my skin is getting so bad it makes me wanna avoid being seen lol#anyway!! gonna call the doctor again first thing tomorrow morning#probably should've called earlier this week but i've been putting it off for whatever reason#also if im being inactive again its bc this stuff is so draining n i don't have the energy to dooo anything#thank u for the tag games and other tags ily mutuals 🫶 will get back to them once i feel better again#el.txt
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before i put my foot in my mouth over the phone to the doctor i need to know if there's like. an agreed upon level of side effects you're expected to just put up with when taking longterm meds or if i have a legit grievance that is worth reassessing what i'm on because i feel like such a whiny fraud lol.....
#:)#on the life/death scale edema so bad i can't walk is infinitely more survivable than hypertension#so in a simple a/b choice between the two surely the doctor will say that it's better to swell than risk blood pressure elevation#like. will they just tell me i'm being silly and need to put my health in perspective because Feeling Okay is now permanently lost to me or#surely i should just be grateful to be alive rather than complaining because i don't feel like how i did before i got sick#feeling like i'm gonna get a bad grade in being a patient lol
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only posting this here because i dont think anyone will see it. i need to get this out
im so fucking tired of my life. im tired of caring, like, in general. as stupid as it sounds, i was watching kitchen nightmares, and gordon said something about a chef or an owner, i dont remember exactly, he said; "losing hope is a scary thing to do, when theres just no more light at the end of the tunnel, it takes you down dark paths." or something like that. and ive been suicidal/depressed since i was 9, but i thought to myself "im not hopeless, am i?". the more i thought about it, the worse i felt because, god no, im not hopeless. im helpless, or maybe i wallow too much in my own self pity. i dont know the difference. every goddamn day feels like another waking nightmare, im sick of living with my mom, im sick of her not letting me get a job. i dont want my name on the damn electric bill because shes over $1,000 in debt to the power company anymore. shes already ruining my credit, and i dont even have a damn job! not to mention her fucking kid, her 5yo fucking kid, im taking care of. the product of the man who beat me over and over again, threatened to kill me, and then he took a greyhound bus out of our lives. why didnt she protect me? he never once hit her, or anyone else, why didnt mom help me? i was only 13 when he first pulled me by my hair and slammed me into the stairs because i let moms ice cream tub melt on the kitchen table for half an hour. it took him till my brother was 3 to leave. she valued him over me, and even now. im always taking care of my brother, even when he screams at me, cusses at me, throws things at me, spits on me, hits me, kicks me, claws me, bites me, and more. you get the point. she never even tells him to stop, she doesnt have to scream, or hurt him, or anything. just please, please tell them to stop hurting me. i still take care of him. i take care of him when she takes 20 fucking benadryl and passes out for the full time shes at home between shifts. i sacrificed my education to "help her" take care of him. and she gets mad at me when i parent him, when i tell him off, or even more mad when i have to cry and beg him to stop hurting me. she says "youre 22 years old, get a grip" when im covered in bruises from the 5 year old "hes five!" she will scream when i tell her he hurts me. "he is five, hes supposed to listen to you" i said once, and she just stared at me. im always fucking things up, she never fails to let me know, when she looks at me like that i know its my fault. i cant even begin on my relationship, i shouldnt, he might see this. i just want to give up, im so tired of caring, i want to let it all go. my dog died, i ruined him too, i couldnt take him to the vet i couldnt help him. hes gone because i failed. my baby, im not saying that in the cringy melinial way, he saved me from suicide. so many times, it was "hell be so confused why im gone..", "hes gonna miss me", "whos gonna take care of him?" but now hes gone and im still here. my baby, is gone and im so selfishly still here. why wouldnt she let me get a job? i couldve taken him, i couldve at least got him put down so he didnt have to suffer in his favourite spot on my bed till his kidneys put him down for us. if i didnt know, my boyfriend would kill himself too when he comes home from classes tomorrow, and i was dead, i would take the entire 160 count bottle of benadryl i stole from moms room. i want to see my baby, he never ever missed on helping me, i owe him my life and couldnt even give him that when he passed. but not for lack of trying.
but even so, i dont feel hopeless. maybe only yearning, but it feels enough like hope. when i use my right hand to stroke my left cheek and neck, it almost feels like someone else. i get a glimmer of a thought, "one day, i wont have to beg to be taken care of. someone will do it because they want to.", but still, it hurts worse. i dont know how i can possibly derive so much gut wrenching pain from that little bit of hope, but i do. and still, i cant help myself, i cant blame anyone else. i can only hope someone will come save me. if i could handle this all on my own, i wouldnt be here typing this.
i want to decompose.
writing this after that monster of a textblock in the tags, but if you were wondering. im not exaggerating about the mess, and i wouldnt normally judge. because i have had worse bedrooms, mental illness is a bitch. but its in the common area, and she absolutely does make the 5yo live in it. she moved out to the living room after their room was too trashed for her to even walk in, so she toated her 50" fucking tv right out there and hasnt moved, accept to go to work, since. everyone pray or cross your fingers or send me some good energy to hope she gets sliced into a million pieces at work instead of accidentally oding on bennies so i can raise my brother with her life insurance money.
#tw: abuse#tw: death#tw: suicidality#are people even gonna have that tag blocked? i didnt even know that was a word#tw: suidice#this will hopefully feel a lot better and more freeing that venting to a character aye eye lud#and hopefully i wont have a panic attack from my intense fear of rejection (someone will see this and not even read it all#im already shitting myself about it)#not really. but if one person has something mean to say. i might actually commit#not to put any pressure onto whoever is reading this#if anyone#if you are. i love you. even if i dont know you- right now in this moment i genuinely feel an intense swell of affection#i love you dear reader. probably more than my boyfriend loves me hahahhhh.#doesnt it feel good to feel so intensely. and never have those overwhelming feelings reciprocated?#i want to go to sleep so bad but i have to get up and go clean the living room#mom has started living out there. she sleeps on the couch and the entire room is trashed#like level 2 hoarder. 2020 depression bedroom. typa thing. its genuinely so disgusting.#no matter how clean i keep my room the bugs still come in and live in my furniture#i want to sleep or kill every one of us. im not entirely sure what would feel better#i actually want to kms less now but i dont know if i can post this. i dont think i have the confidence#pressing post before i psych myself out. if i dwell on this anymore i might actually do it.#i also wanna say. im so so SO sorry to whoever might actually see this. im sorry you came into contact with me in any way#and im even more sorry if you felt bad for me or something. im sorry. i dont know why i think writing this was okay.#but whats done is done. and i love you still. and im so sorry.
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#i got bit 8 times on 1 ankle by mosquitos on saturday night and bc im allergic i am so swollen and so sore and none of my meds r working#so im gonna have to either go to a walk-in clinic tomorrow morning or if it gets rly bad during the night just go to the ER#ughhhshdhdhdh it never endssssss#cant even walk on it#am cycling thru 3 ice packs over and over but theyre only numbing it slightly not bringing down any swelling#def gonna need antiobiotics#fml
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this is the first day i haven't woken up in absolutely unbearable pain 🥹 one week post-op just one more to go and hopefully i'll be fully recovered <3
#the pain is apparently supposed to come back when the scabs come off but hopefully by then the swelling and inflammation will have decreased#a lot too#thats the main source of my pain and discomfort rn truthfully#like that's why my jaw and tongue and throat hurt so bad#feels like the most sore and achy they have ever been before#i just am so so glad to have some relief and be starting to feel better#this whole first week has just been me reassuring myself it's gonna feel better eventually and this is gonna be worth it in the end#and i def think it will. still - the healing process is fuckinnnn rough#hikey#bye bye tonsils
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posted my stupid presentation assignment a cute 7.5 hours late to a class discussion so everyone can see that i posted it 7.5 hours late <3 but one of the people who was also meant to post today hasn't yet so i guess i feel a smidge less nauseous
#did you know they sell 300 mg caffeine java monsters bc i found out they sell those#i had a little over half of one and i feel almost a regulsr amount awake for it being almost 2pm after an all nighter#i'm gonna take a nap and get back to you probably#maybe a spot of lunch bc i took my meds this morning on a monster/gatorade stomach which is not ideal#never mind about feeling a normal amount awake i feel like my brain is currently swelling so bad i'll explode like that girl in the boa mv#watch the boa mv btw megan thee stallion is the hottest most talented woman alive#a post
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it's time for another selfie-bomb! ... well, selfie, and my favorites of the newest crystals I bought
first up a pic of my new shirt and scarf; the picture doesn't do the scarf justice, it is SO shimmery and changes colors based on how the light hits it! and the shirt makes me feel like a Reaper who's undercover as a sexy maid XD
as for the crystals... bismuth first! the flash on the camera makes it look gold and almost pyrite-y, but that's just the flash being dumb, it is DEFINITELY bismuth
next is a UV-reactive crystal called yooperlite! before and after the black light shining on it. :D the picture also does not quite do the black light reveal justice... it's SO vibrant and neon under the black light, it looks like a Halloween rave!!
and, of course... my absolute FAVORITE of my new ones. the big boi. the king. the high exalted granddaddy. MY SELENITE SNAKE!!! guys this thing is gorgeous. it's also carved in such a way that I could actually use it as a charging/clearing stand for other crystals by resting them among the snake's coils. UGH I'm gonna be showing this bad boy off for months!!
I also took some pics a few days ago to post here, of me being silly with my fake 'pet' snake, so... I'll post those some other time.
today I just needed a pick me up after the last several bleh weeks, and these crystals and stuff were IT! <3 <3 <3
#mod post#mod selfie#mod's crystals#looking at my shelf of over 500 crystals: now where am I gonna PUT y'all................#I also bought a pair of Victorian-style lace-up thigh high boots#but they didn't fit over my big ol calves so I gave them to my aunt and they look great on her!#maybe I'll search around for some for myself eventually........#but like probably not SOON because I ordered those boots before I hurt my foot#and I'm not gonna be wearing any cute footwear for months till the swelling and pain are gone XD#BUT YEAH other than that I'm very happy with these!!#I also ordered some scoops of crystal confetti for myself and my aunt and cousin#we like to get our scoops and then gather around pulling em out piece by piece with each other and guessing what they'll be haha#I'm in much better spirits than I've been for the past few weeks so yay maybe this is the end of the shitty bad month!
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During a break in the storm.
Santa Cruz, California (1/5/23)
#california#santa cruz#it's been wild#capitola and carmel are flooded and being evacuated#a few piers have been taken out#natural bridges state park has lost one of its cliffsides#the local reports are saying ocean swells are 20-30 feet higher than usual#meanwhile those of us up in the mountains are hunkering down with camp stoves and lanterns#crossing our fingers that a tree doesn't fall and take out the cabin#i'm sure some folks out there are like 'ugh californians are overreacting' but like#we haven't had rain like this since 1847#we don't have the infrastructure and also we've been in a drought for...idk like over a decade?#we desperately need this rain but oof it's gonna be a time and a half in the process#also our wildfires in the last few years have been so bad that whole swathes of land are still burnscars#which means no vegetation to hold the ground together#when you pair that with sudden heavy rain you get debris flows which can swallow roads and houses#so like...it's A Lot of different things. not 'just' rain.
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maybe compression leggings would fix me 🤔
#like my circulation is already pretty shoddy#and being on my feet for 8 hours NONSTOP at work is making my legs swell so bad#maybe compression leggings would take the edge off...#gonna pester my doctor about prescribing me a pair to test them out
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i did NOT know rook piercings were little bitches
#got mine in 2020 and I've had the same jewelry since#it's like totally healed#so i changed the jewelry on Thursday and long story short i had to have it removed#it was swelling so bad my whole head hurt#turns out if the new jewelry just sliiiiiiightly deviates from the shape of the jewelry it healed in#then you're screwed#as i am now obviously#SIGH it hurts too bad rn to put my original piece back in#really hope it doesn't close up or I'm gonna lose my shit#bgt
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i wish it didn't take so long to get literally anything done in the american health care system
#my doc found lumps and tissue thickening AND a swollen lymph node in my arm pit#i went in because my breast had been hurting for several weeks (it still hurts btw)#now my armpit is hurting too and i don't know if it's the one she found the swollen lymph node in but#there's definitely something swollen in there#i got seen august 22nd and was not able to get a mammogram appointment until september 26th#more than an entire month later!!#genuinely worried i might have breast cancer#and my insurance isn't going to cover a cent of my diagnostic testing because i haven't met my deductible#so it's gonna be fucking six hundred dollars to find out if i have cancer or not#a lymph node on my collarbone has swelled up too#i'm fucking scared#my health has really gone to shit this week and i'm super stressed#having to wait an entire month for a diagnostic (not screening. diagnostic!!) mammogram is insanity#especially given that younger people tend to develop more aggressive forms of breast cancer#i'm so stressed. i just wanna be done and know if i have the damn shit or not. i hate all this waiting#and i hate the thought that it could be growing while i'm waiting#i'm having a really fucking bad time rn
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with your head shoved into the pillow, your hand reaches back, lightly pushing at his stomach.
“mmph—give me a second, ohh—”
eyes rolling back into your head, you hand drops as he swings his hips harder, relentlessly prodding at that one spot in your cunt.
“kento!” you squeal, voice muffled and legs shaking, “i’m gonna cum again!”
he shushes you softly, a hand running down the curve of your ass. “i know baby, it’s okay.”
you shake your head, “‘m gonna die, ken—”
he laughs, watching your body shake in tandem with your orgasm. he’s holding your hips in place and he continues, pace never faltering. “you’re okay, sweet girl. just focus on feeling good.”
nanami leans down, kissing your temple. feeling his weight on you makes you drool, the warmth of his body addicting.
“more, please,” you slur, body flattening on the mattress. kento pulls out momentarily, pushing your legs together and sliding a pillow under your tummy before pushing back in.
“fuck!” you cry, hands pulling at his sheets, “fuck you!”
his weight presses you into the mattress. his teeth biting lightly at your ear. “one more baby, come on.”
“cumming ‘m cummin’, you—fuuuckk—”
“yeah,” he groans, feeling your cunt clench around him. he thinks he’s gonna lose his mind. sloppily kissing your cheek, his hand reaches up to grab your jaw, “you’re gonna make me cum sweet girl—where do you want it?”
“inside, please, i need it so bad.” you whine, turning your head to kiss him.
“you’re gonna kill me,” he mumbles, thrusting with a different fervour before dropping most of his weight on you, groaning in your ear.
“take it, baby, ‘s all yours.” you moan as you feel him filling you up, eyes almost crossing at the feeling.
nanami rolls off you momentarily, tucking your hair behind your ear and watching you catch your breath. he breathes out a chuckle, “so dramatic, you asked for this, remember?”
you try faking a frown but fail, your lips forming into a smirk instead. “what if i ask for it again?”
a hand playfully swats the swell of your ass, “you don’t know what you’re asking for, beautiful.”
#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#nanami smut#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#nanami imagines#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami x reader#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami
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toji’s little pregnant wife who’s only pregnancy craving is his thick, bitter cum </3
“but.. i want it..” you pester toji, tugging on his arm. you groan at the way your big, soft belly gets in the way of completely smothering the man, but it doesn’t stop you.
“no,” he grunts back, shaking his hands off as he places back the last dish from your two’s meal prior. “i can’t have y’hurtin’ yourself. i’ll never forgive myself if ya do.”
“i-it’s a craving, toji,” you joke, but truthfully you know you’re serious. looking up at him with watery eyes, you’re undeniably desperate, your plush thighs growing achy and soft cunny growing hot at the thought. “please toji, wan’ y’r cum.” you purr.
he scowls, cursing at the hard bulge that undeniably presses against the countertop. he tried his very best to deny your little pleads , that’s enough right ? if his pregnant wife really insists, wouldn’t it be right to accept so ? he wonders.
“t-toji,” you moan, like a bunny in heat.
“fuck me, princess.”
“i-i wil—“
before you’re able to finish your sentence, he’s hoists you into his arms with no trouble, making his way towards the soft couch displayed in your home’s living room. you giggle uncontrollably when he nuzzles himself against your neck, blowing soft raspberries against your skin, which has grown sensitive throughout the term of your pregnancy.
“ill jus’ finger you, how about it ? i don’t want ya on yer knees , mama.”
“no.. n-not enough.” you mumble into his chest, tugging against his ribbed tank top. “wan’ your cock. in my mouth, your cum—“
he finds it hilarious, you’re so adorable. he thinks the celibacy for the sake of your two’s baby may have have been the cause of all this attention, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“insatiable little dolly, aren’t you ?”
“mhm, i missed you s’much.”
“‘m right here mama.” he lays you against the soft cushion, pressing a kiss against the back of your hand.
“y’sure ya wanna do this ? y’don’t have to.” as if you were doing it for his sake. your legs ache and shiver with anticipation, already able to feel your mouth salivating at the thought. “want to, i want to !”
“shh, don’t get so worked up, now.” he chuckles, “stress is bad for the baby.” he drops the softest plushie on the ground, and leading your supple body against his lower half. you sit obediently between his legs, sore cunt throbbing erratically at the anticipation.
“take him out, dolly.” he smirks, watching you tug down his thin sweats, huffing at the stiff bulge that presses against his cotton boxers. you fumble your little fingers against his cock, nervous at how he seems to be watching you so intently, watching your each and every move, finding any reason to stop.
your breath is hot against his budge, slithering your hand against his boxer clad cock before pulling the fabric below his plump balls. he groans at the juxtaposition of your soft fingers against his meaty dick; oh how much he missed the mere sight of such.
“‘m gonna cum just like this mama.” he jokes alongside panty groans, twitching when you press your plush lips against his tip without hesitation. you envelop your warmth around his swelling cock head, pink tongue lolling out and dragging through his hefty slit.
you moan at the taste of his salty musk coating your eager tongue, hands fondling at his pudgy balls as you ease yourself further closing in on his base.
“just like that, just like that mama. yer doin’ p-perfect.” he sighs, petting your hair gently. his fingers stroke through your soft locks, curling a finger around the stray pieces that’s fallen in front of your face, and tucking them behind your ear.
“gorgeous lady, my pretty wife, hm?” he watches you fuck your own cheek with his cock, drooling unexpectedly at the overwhelming girth. “juuust like that.”
“pwah—!”
“what’s wrong , dolly ?” he mumbles with a tint of worry. he runs a thumb across your swollen bottom lip, pressing his sticky thumb back into your mouth as you eagerly suck. “‘s-s too g-gud,” you mumble. “wan’ more.”
“s all yours, darling. take yer time.”
your hot breath causes toji to twitch, shoving his cock mindlessly back into your mouth. you press your throat onto the blunt tip, hot tongue swirling around the un-cut tip.
with a few more pumps of your hot mouth assaulting his sensitive tip, he spurts a heavy load into the warmth of your mouth with soft groans, hand leading yours to jerk at the rest of his cock. “fuck, damn.” he groans breathlessly, barely visible beads of sweat crowning at his forehead.
you swirl your nut-covered tongue against his dick, making a mess. it drools down his cock, dirtying his now-soft sack, coating your plush lips in a soft creme white. toji tugs on the cushion tightly, allowing you to have your fun although he’s well beyond overstimulation and close to passing out. not from the simulation itself, but the way you look so innocent below him, yet you’re really so nasty.
definitely his wife.
“that’s it.” he watches you slowly swallow his cum, throat bulging gently every time you take a gulp; just the prettiest sight. although your mouth emptied, lips licked clean, you continue licking at his dirtied shaft, taking everything you can get.
he scruffles your hair, a light tug at your head to pull your suckling lips away from his sensitive cock. he leans down, pressing a sloppy kiss against your lips and pressing your head to close in on him. he sucks on your flavorful tongue, tasting himself. “damn, doll. really haven’t lost yer touch, huh? no wonder we’re perfect f’eachother.”
#jjk#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji <3#toji toji toji toji#toji smut#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji x you#drabbles ⋆⑅˚₊
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its times like this when i really wish i had an SO's shoulder to cry on
Because I think i factrued/sprained my foot the other day it happened wednesday but its still pretty swollen and pops when i try to walk on it without hobbling. i know i signed up for health insurance through work. i wrote down the insurance company name as Bayside and I have my personal insurance id number but the card never came in/got lost in the mail (and i already called for one replacement that never came so idk if theyll send me a third) so i cant confirm the insurance name nor call them, but i need to because ive called/visited 5 health care facilities around me and NONE of them have even heard of Bayside. So im calling the phone number that my manager provided me with telling me that was the insurance company. I keep calling the number (and mind you ive called them before to try to get a second insurance card sent to me but that was in like April) and i get that its saturday but theres no answer and the stupid automated machine wont let me leave a voicemail. the automated answering voice on the phone also says that theyre called National Benefit Plans by SafetyNet and google says the phone number im using belongs to National Benefit Plans out in San Antonio Tx (i live no where near there). I found National Benefit Plans' website on SafetyNetPlus dot com but National Benefit Plans doesnt have their own website, just through SafetyNet, and also the SafetyNet website says on a side panel that "this is NOT insurance" and instead keeps saying "health benefits" instead so idk what the fuck ive been paying for for the last 6 months tbh and im having an emotional breakdown bc i dont want to fuck my foot up for life just cause i couldnt figure out my health insurance/benefits shit
#ive been fucking sobbing on the phone for 20 minutes calling the phone number over and over again#im about to mcfucking lose it and im sad and confused and scared because my foot is still so swollen even though it doesnt hurt very much#and google says if swelling on an injury like this persists after 48 hours to go get it looked at#all the walkin clinics near me dont have any xray techs til monday & quoted me anywhere from $130-$300 if i dont have insurance which i can#provide proof of nor am i even sure i actually have at this point and im ngl my guys i only have like $180 to my name until next friday#but then basically my entire next paycheck is going to Geico#and overall im just having a really really really bad time rn and im scared that if my foot is actually fractured im gonna fuck it up worse#by walking around on it without a boot/cast. yeah ive been sitting at work the last few days#but its front desk at a hotel so at least for the first hour of my shift and last 1.5 hours i HAVE to be standing#my foot was so swollen after work today it hurt to get my shoe off#im just really fucking stressed and anxious and confused and im sitting here sobbing my eyes out realizing theres literally no one i can#call just to vent and cry it out with#cant call my mom cause i busted my foot leaving her place after her husband got in my face & screamed at me for saying you cant hit people#cant call my siblings cause none of them can help/we dont talk often enough that i feel like i can burden them with this#i have a few casual friends but same sitch im not close enough with them that i feel comfortable venting while sobbing to them#i could call my ex but shes got a new boo now/its not her problem/we rarely talk anymore/she cant help so no point in calling#only other person who knows/is worried about me is my ex's mom but she wont be home from work for break til 2pm & its 11:30am rn#not close enough to any of my coworkers either#its times like this that i realize how truly alone i am these days with no one that can physically comfort me#which of course is only making me more upset#thats what i get for being depressed and reclusive the last 2 years and only letting people get an arms length reach from me emotionally#there is a medical clinic i can go to that is a 50 minute drive from me and without insurance you just pay a $20 sliding fee plus a little#extra for the care services but again theyre not open until monday and also its a 50 minute drive from me#so all im learning is i shouldve gone some place thursday morning after it happened and im fucked at least til monday#FUCK my STUPID BAKA life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#whatever. guess imma keep icing it try to keep it elevated and just endure it and hope it doesnt get worse#emma rambles#vent tag#DONT REBLOG
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