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mmogurl · 3 months ago

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Last to Fall Chapter 1 - My Demons

18+ | 10k | Aegon II Targaryen X Female Maid / Dragonseed Reader | miserable, alcoholic, often dissociative, needs comfort Aegon | virgin reader, maiden, emotional abuse, first time sex, P in V, smut, wholesome, fluff, this whole thing is actually kind of sweet compared to what I usually write.

This fic is heavily inspired by the infamous 'Nothing' scene with Aegon and Alicent. Her cold words and the way she lashes out really bothered me and I felt a strong need to stand up for him, protect, and console him. So that's really what this whole fic is about. Enjoy! Also went with a lot of musical vibing for this story. I started off listening to Collective Soul's Heavy, because I imagine it as Aegon's state of mind in the opening scene towards everyone and everything happening. And by the end we transition into Starset's Last to Fall - and the title of the fic. I know, I'm a sappy mf.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 On AO3

Retroactive update 10/29/24: I've also decided that I'm going to try my best to fit every chapter to a Starset song because the whole Series is based off the title of one (Last to Fall) which was originally going to be a oneshot and got extended. I'm enjoying the challenge of finding one that suits each theme/ story! They're not all going to be perfectly aligned, but I'll try my best. This one is Starset - My Demons adding onto the two songs I already referenced here - but this one just felt so perfect!

Complicate this world you wrapped for me I'm acquainted with your suffering

All your weight it falls on me It brings me down All your weight it falls on me It falls on me

~Collective Soul - Heavy

—You

You have worked in the castle for as long as you can remember, always hearing the whisperings of the chamberlain, the laundress, and any other keep staff prone to gossip, that you were the late king’s bastard. There were always underhanded comments of jealousy uttered in your direction, like ‘It must be nice to have a king’s blood runnin’ through yer veins... To have yer needs met for life.’ In truth, you were worried that the Queen Dowager might see fit to dispose of you now that her husband had passed.

So far, it seems your fair looks, expertise, and agreeable demeanor has secured your position, at least for the time being, but you are not so naive as to think that will last forever.

You tended to King Viserys for six summers, and with his death you’ve been reassigned to serve the new Protector of the Realm, Aegon II Targaryen. You are mildly concerned about this development considering the rumors you’ve heard about the young prince over the years. Drinking and philandering to excess, he was rumored to be a true hedonist, only taking satisfaction when drowning himself in pleasure. It is for this very reason, that you’re surprised by your observations of your new lord within the first weeks of your employ as his chambermaid and general attendant.

You find he spends a lot of time sitting in near darkness with barely a couple candles lit in his room at night, kept company only by a carafe of wine and wearing a disassociated look on his face that could be taken for misery if it didn’t appear so apathetic in nature. It was as though he were actively trying to force himself into a mold that he would never fit into. This became even more apparent as you witnessed more of his interactions with his family, especially his mother and grand-sire. It seemed they were constantly trying to orchestrate the ruling of the Seven Kingdoms, nitpicking at every little decision Aegon made, pulling his strings just like a puppet.

You had listened from the sidelines of the Great Hall as the Hand second-guessed the king’s rulings. Even when the Aegon tried to embrace his seat upon the Iron Throne, he was made impotent by those not fit to govern. You could do nothing but stand by helplessly in saddened silence when he suffered the loss of his eldest son to assassins, while Otto Hightower forced him to parade young Jaehaerys’ corpse to the public along with his grief-stricken sister-wife, Helaena.

Day by day, your heart was beginning to ache for the emptiness you saw growing behind his amethyst eyes. And yet still he tried on most days to put a positive foot forward, even if by nightfall he usually turned back to engulfing his sorrows in drink. You couldn’t even blame him really given the complete lack of moral and emotional support the king had to endure.

This feeling of compassion built within you, until one day it peaked to a head as you made your way to Aegon’s chambers with fresh linens in hand, ready to fulfill your afternoon chores. You passed several Kingsguard as you made your way down the hall and paused outside the king’s rooms as you heard voices coming from within. The two white cloaks standing watch at the open threshold glanced at you in warning, so you simply waited with folded bedsheets in hand for the opportunity to complete your duties.

You knew you should not listen, but it was hard to ignore the distressed voice of the king from within, met by the indifferent attitude of the Queen Dowager. Oh no, you think to yourself sympathetically, she is at it again. It really did seem that tearing Aegon down piece by piece was not only a habit for his mother, but something she relished in.

“Do you think simply wearing the crown imbues you with wisdom,” Alicent’s voice echoed out against the vaulted ceiling of the room, her voice patronizing and condescending. “Those men at your council table earned their seats. It was my hope that once enthroned you would honor the burden of your new duties, be silent, and strive to learn from the more studied minds around you. In the hope that you might be half the king your father was…”

You tried to swallow the lump forming in your throat at hearing such baleful words. The king was not responding, and you could just imagine the pained look of agony that Aegon was sure to be wearing under the constant criticisms he faced as of late.

“Tread carefully,” you heard him say, barely carrying enough volume to hear from where you stood. You found yourself holding back a smile at that, happy that he was standing up to her for once. But, that only incensed the Queen Dowager more, her thirst to harm not yet quenched.

“Or what?” she says with venom coating her tongue. “You’ll hang me, as you did your rat catchers? Or have me banished as you did your Hand? I ruled in your father’s absence throughout his long illness, and Otto Hightower was as cunning a statesman as ever lived. You should humbly be seeking our opinions and counsel. You have no idea the sacrifices that were made to put you on that throne.”

You shook your head, unsure how any mother could ever speak to her child in such a manner, let alone to the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms. Perhaps it bothered you so because you had never known the tenderness of a mother’s love, but had spent many a daydream imagining what it might be like. With your idealistic and sometimes naive mind, you wanted to think that there was more love out there in the world than this, especially within the royal family. You wanted better for the young king you had grown to feel so protective of in such a short amount of time.

Aegon’s next words break your train of thought, “Wha-“ he started with an exasperated tone, “What would you have me do, Mother?”

“Do simply what is needed of you,” she replied and the frosty chill of her cold voice was evident even from the corridor. “Nothing.”

You feel tears well up in the corners of your eyes and try your best to ignore them. It was important as part of the castle staff to never appear to be listening, to always remain professional, but it wasn’t always possible when one was witness to such cruelty.

Quickly, you wipe the errant tears away as the Queen Dowager exits her son’s apartment, walking swiftly with a scowl on her face. With the king now alone in his chambers, you nod to the guards and head inside, pausing to close the doors behind you lest Aegon had wont of some privacy.

As you turned to face the room, the king sat off to the side of his table, leaning against the back of a chair, his head resting upon his hands in defeat. He did not stir as you entered and so you cleared your throat to let yourself be known. Aegon still made no move and so this time you spoke up.

“Your Grace, might I change the linens? Or should I come back later?” you ask, your voice hesitant, but filled with understanding.

He finally lifts his head, glancing at you for a moment before returning his attention to the nearly empty decanter of wine on the table.

“Fetch me some more wine instead,” he demands sullenly, and to this you nod and hurry off to fulfill his request. After what you’d heard him endure, you’d do just about anything to cheer him up now.

With a speed you did not think yourself capable, you retrieved, not just one, but two pitchers of strongwine for the king and prepared a small platter of snacks for him as well, consisting of cheese, crackers, figs, and grapes. You hoped he’d be pleased with your thoughtfulness, and sure enough, he did perk up a little at the sight of the tray you presented on the table before him.

Aegon got to his feet, walking around the chair he’d been leaning against and sitting in it instead. You filled his chalice and placed it before him, wearing an exaggerated smile upon your face, anything to lighten the onerous mood. The king surprises you when he actually notices, his composure faltering as he looks upon your benevolent countenance.

“Did you hear all of that then?” he asks, his jaw clenching slightly as he peers down at the crimson fluid within the cup before him.

“It is not my business, Your Grace,” you answer softly, not wanting to sound cold, but knowing it is not your place to comment on such things. “But, if I can do anything, or get anything more for you. Please just ask.”

“I never wanted to be be king, you know,” Aegon says abruptly, picking up the chalice and swirling the wine around inside it. “They hunted me down, forced me to be crowned… And yet, Mother tells me I do not deserve it, even though she has placed me upon the throne herself.”

You flounder with your words, uncertain of how to reply. Should you even say anything at all? Perhaps he just wants someone to listen who won’t respond with a scathing rebuke.

“She spoke of the rat catchers, bringing up the death of my eldest son as though it were nothing to me,” he continues without your input, staring into the contents of his chalice as though it might hold some insight. “She treats me as though I am nothing.”

He finally takes a long swig of the cup, emptying most of it in one gulp. Aegon sets it down on the table with a clatter of metal and wood, an almost despondent look on his face as he adds, “Perhaps I am nothing.”

“Your Grace, no! That is not true!” the words slip out, unable to hold back your feelings at his self-denigration. You immediately cover your mouth with startled surprise, knowing that you’ve overstepped.

Aegon halts, his shoulders tensing as his eyes drift up to you and his brow furls downwards in confusion. He regards you in earnest for what feels like the first time ever, his discerning gaze sweeping from your face, down to your skirts and back up again, sizing you up. “What would you know of it?”

You bite your lip anxiously, unsure of how to proceed, even though it seems by now that you’ve already gone past the point of returning to obscurity. Ultimately, you decide that if you’re going to lose your position within the Red Keep, that you’d prefer to let the king know how you feel first.

“I have seen how determined you are,” you say quietly, a lack of confidence in your voice as you address the king. “Even though it is obvious how much hardship you must abide.”

“I am the king. I do not abide anything,” he replies gruffly, but there’s no tooth in the words.

“Of course, Your Grace,” you reply as you cast your eyes downward, your posture stiffening as you stand more upright, waiting for the hammer of discipline to fall.

There is a pervasive silence that hangs heavy in the expansive chamber as you wait for the king to cast his verdict. Does he intend to overlook your impertinence or will he punish you severely?

You hear the trickle of liquid pouring and then the glass carafe clattering against the wood of the table. The sound of swallowing is audible, followed by Aegon’s lips smacking softly as he puts the chalice back down.

“Come here, girl,” he says suddenly in a low monotone.

You look up once more, hesitating; your eyes questioning as you try to understand his intentions, his expression inscrutable.

“Do I have to repeat myself?” he reiterates, his tone a little more firm, yet without the sound of malicious intent. “Come here.”

You gulp and step gingerly towards Aegon, standing before him as he sits in the high-back chair. “Yes, Your Grace?” you ask with an uncertain look on your face.

The king startles you when he turns his chair to face you, his hands wrapping around your waist as he pulls you towards him in one fluid motion. Before you even realize what is happening, Aegon has his face buried against your stomach while his fingers dig into the fabric of your dress at the small of your back.

For a moment you stand there frozen in shock, your arms out as if in surrender, unsure of how to respond or interpret this intimate gesture. But then, you feel his shoulders shake quietly, and it's that movement that clues you in to the nature of the king's actions. He is crying, albeit in his own restrained way.

Slowly, you lower your hands down, one resting on his back as the other smooths his white locks back against his scalp. You can feel him melt into your affectionate touch, his entire body slumping forward even as he continues to whimper quietly into your apron.

“Shh,” you say softly, trying to comfort him in a way that feels somehow natural to you despite the gap in caste. “It will be alright.” You are not fully convinced that it will be, but the young king needs some reassurance and you know you are the only one likely to give it to him.

You have secretly longed for a moment such as this to occur for awhile now, wishing you had the opportunity to provide the king with some semblance of reprieve. When you served Viserys, he never seemed very troubled, and was almost willfully ignorant to the problems that plagued his family. Aegon on the other hand, was tormented not only by his mother, but by the pressure he put on himself to please everyone, which was an impossible feat.

To soothe Aegon now and hold him in your arms, felt like putting one of the many wrongs he’d endured right, even if it was only a small fraction of what the man was owed.

Your fingers rake through his wavy tresses and you feel a surge of raw emotion as you tend to the king’s needs in a way you never imagined you would. Soon, his shaky breaths and silent tears begin to cease, replaced by sniffles as you continue to soothe him in the way his mother should have been for all of these years. You can sense his reluctance to leave your embrace, but there’s also a shame weighing heavy in the air for confiding such weakness in a simple chambermaid.

He nuzzles his eyes against the fabric of your dress, wiping his tears on the brown cloth before he abruptly pulls away and clears his throat. Aegon avoids looking directly at you, embarrassment evident in his now red and puffy eyes. He lets out a heavy sigh and you’re left feeling quite dumbfounded as he turns back to his wine.

For a long moment there is a tense and overwhelming silence, the only sounds present in the room are the soft pouring of wine into Aegon’s chalice and the glass clinking as he sets the carafe down.

You stare at the side of his face, feeling a knot form in your stomach at the growing distance. It’s as if he’s punishing you for witnessing his vulnerability, desperate to maintain the barrier between king and servant. Despite his aversion, you can’t help but feel the significance of what you shared, the way he pulled you in and how good it felt to hold him close.

The quiet stretches on, Aegon now occupied with emptying his cup as if trying to fill the void with drink. He speaks up once more, his tone now devoid of any traces of the exposed emotion you just viewed.

"That will be all," his words are devoid of any warmth or familiarity. "I don't need anything more from you tonight." Aegon’s fingers tremble subtly as he brings his glass to his lips, betraying his cold facade.

“Your Grace,” you say in acceptance of his decision, bowing your head to show deference. You turn and glance at the linens still stacked on top of the king’s bed and fret for a moment that you will get in trouble for not fulfilling your duties and changing the sheets. “Should I change the bedsheets before I leave?”

Aegon doesn’t even turn to face you, his eyes fixed on his chalice. His expression is closed off, distant, as he responds with a simple grunt of confirmation.

“Yes, yes. Do whatever it is you usually do,” he mutters dismissively, his voice lacking any real feeling. He lifts his cup to his mouth once more, drowning himself in the bitter taste of the wine.

You nod with the typical words of respectful assent and begin making the bed as you always do, except this time it feels different. Today you flew so very close to the sun and felt your skin bask in its heat. The absence of that warmth now leaves you feeling chilly, an overwhelming nothing replacing the typical humdrum of your chores. You can feel his presence in the room like a beacon calling you to shore, but you dare not approach him again.

When you finish your task, you leave the king’s chambers without saying a word, closing the door behind you as silently as you can.

For the next few days, the typical royal indifference that Aegon shows you is substituted for complete and utter disregard. He at least showed you a degree of quiet appreciation before, but now it seems he’s going out of his way to make it known that you do not exist to him. Aegon always keeps his eyes turned from you and makes no acknowledgment of your proximity, giving the impression that you are little more than a ghost.

Gone is the care-free spirit that the king usually possesses, always trying to pretend that he is happier than he actually is, at least when you are around him. It seems that Aegon erects a wall of guarded apathy the moment he becomes aware of you, sometimes so severe that you can actually see him transition into a frown at your approach.

You find yourself slinking around quietly whenever you must occupy his room at the same time that he is present. The mornings are especially tense, when you must bring breakfast and fresh wash water for his basin. Sometimes, you feel his eyes on you when you’re preoccupied with adding wood to and stoking the fire, but you try your best to ignore it since you can’t make heads or tails of his behavior.

For the most part, you attempt to finish the majority of your duties once the king has left for the day and not before that point. You hope that in time, the king will forget about what transpired between the two of you, and that everything will revert back to how it was.

—Aegon

Aegon has made a concerted effort to maintain his frosty disposition towards you. It’s a constant battle between his heart, which secretly admires and yearns for you, and his head, which refuses to acknowledge the vulnerability he allowed you to witness. Even still, he can’t help but feel a slight pang of sadness whenever you try to slip in and out of his chambers undetected, nor can he control the surge of resentment when he feels that he might need you in any way.

The king simply doesn’t know what to make of the tangle of emotions that twist inside of him whenever he sees your face. It’s as if the memory of his shortcomings and your comforting embrace is a fresh wound that refuses to heal. He wants to shove you from his mind, but your image is permanently branded on the backs of his eyelids.

Even his nights have become restless, with no amount of drink or pleasure helping to ease his troubled heart. In fact, he’d already tried visiting one of his favorite brothels, dragging along his drunken friends for the chance to brag at how loud he could make the women scream. He was so distracted by thoughts of you that he couldn’t even stay hard and had to call it a night without release, defeated even by the the carefree abandon of a whore’s cunt.

The only thing that helps him drift off to sleep lately is recalling the moment he shared with you, and imagining how it might have gone differently if he had not pulled away from you. His hand enveloping his rigid cock, stroking it eagerly as he envisions what it would be like to reach under your skirts and feel the heat at the apex of your thighs. The resulting climax is strong, but it always leaves him feeling ashamed and guilty afterwards, as though he’s given into an urge worse than the crudest of debaucheries.

It’s becoming more and more obvious, that no matter how much he denies himself, he wants you in an unbearable way. He wants to reach out to you, wants to apologize and thank you for your soothing care. He wants those arms wrapped around him once again, that gentle hand running through his hair. He wants to confess all of his troubles to you. How he is tired of being treated like a child, of being scolded and slapped around by his mother, and never being taken seriously by his own small council. Aegon wants to hear the solutions you might propose to his growing list of problems, instead of relying on the wine that he drinks to excess more often as the days pass, an answer that he knows is mere avoidance.

And so, the king finds himself at a crossroad, facing a decision that can’t simply remain unsettled. He can either choose to embrace his feelings for you and allow himself the chance of experiencing the compassion he so badly craves, or he can continue to repress those feelings and bury them under the weight of his own self loathing and fear.

At the end of another long and monotonous day, he finds himself sitting at the end of his table in the very same chair where he had shared a moment of weakness with you. He sighs as he pours himself another cup of wine, the burgundy liquid not doing much to take the edge off tonight.

He shivers slightly as gooseflesh erupts over his pale skin. Glancing out the window, he can see that the skies are grayer than usual and that autumn is settling in over King’s Landing. Aegon begins to worry as he considers the already dwindling food supply and the civil war that is ravaging what little they have left. His grand-sire and mother both seem to be ignoring the constant plight of the commonfolk, but he’s spent enough time amongst them to know that revolt might loom on the horizon.

The large wooden doors to his chamber suddenly open and his attention is drawn from the window, snapped to the form now entering the room. It is you, his chambermaid, carrying a bundle of blankets. You stop dead in your tracks as you notice him sitting in the dwindling light of the gloaming hour.

“Sorry to disturb, Your Grace,” you offer sheepishly. “I didn’t know you had already retired for the day.”

Aegon turns his chair outwards, sitting sideways as he leans an elbow against the table and lifts his cup to his lips, taking a sip of his favorite sweet Arbor red. He doesn’t acknowledge your apology, and instead regards you with a steadfast gaze as he tries to hide his conflicting feelings.

“What is it?” he asks, his tone tinged with disinterest.

“It’s supposed to be chilly tonight,” you answer with a soft voice. “I wanted to bring you some extra blankets and build the fire up so that you are comfortable.”

“Hm,” he grunts, taking another swig of his wine. He doesn’t respond more than that and simply watches as you begin to lay two massive quilts upon his bed, then approach the fireplace to add more wood and stoke the flames. Even now you were doing your best to take good care of him, doting on him as though he were your very own husband.

He can’t help but discreetly study the shape of your body as you kneel before the mantle, appreciating the way the firelight projects shadows over your kneeling figure. The flickering orange light bounces off your face and he can’t help but notice the softness of your features, the curve of your cheek and lips. As you rise back to your feet and turn to face him, he’s finally made his decision.

Perhaps it is time to lay these fears to rest.

He sighs softly, his shoulders slumping somewhat with the release of breath, as he gestures to the chair across from him.

“Sit,” his word is quiet, almost a whisper.

You look at him perplexed as though you did not hear him properly, an apprehension soon settling in as you hesitate to respond.

There is an air of determination in his eyes as he nods once more, encouraging you to sit. His voice now holds a trace of insistence as he shifts in his seat, sitting upright as he repeats himself. “I said sit.” Aegon points at the empty chair once more, his gesture sharper this time.

You oblige him swiftly at that, taking a seat in the ornately carved high-back chair, your legs are pressed together and your hands fidget awkwardly on your lap. Aegon reaches forward and grabs an empty chalice from the silver tray before him, pouring you a glass of wine.

“Here,” he says, his voice strangely calm in your presence now that he has finally given in to his wishes. He hands you the cup across the table, his fingers brushing against yours for just the briefest of moments. He relishes in the heat of your touch, no matter how fleeting, and offers a clumsy smile. “Have a drink with me.”

You take the chalice reluctantly, the anxiety of such taboo evident in your expression. Aegon knew it was unheard of for the staff to share a drink with members of the royal family, but it was also not typical for the king to be denied anything he desired either.

“T-thank you, Your Grace,” you offer appreciatively.

Aegon settles back into his chair, his posture becoming more relaxed as he spreads his legs. He takes comfort in the fact that no matter how much he has tried to avoid you, that you still humbly show him gratitude. That small act of polite civility has him convinced that what he is attempting will not end in rejection.

He raises his cup and toasts to you, a courtesy which seems so simple and yet holds so much significance when coming from a king. “To your service.” His eyes gleam in the fading light of day, bright with unspoken promise.

“I don’t even know what to say, Your Grace,” you squeak out in embarrassment, your face impossibly red as you direct your gaze away from him.

He can feel his confidence returning as he sees the flush of color bloom on your cheeks. It’s a sign that his attention is not entirely unwelcome, and that thought alone is enough to make his heart beat steadily in his chest.

Aegon leans forward, trying to capture your attention once more, his eyes pleading for you to look at him again. After so much time evading this very situation, he now feels hungry for it.

“You don’t have to say anything at all,” he reassures you, his tone softened but with a hint of authority as he motions for you to drink your wine.

Without wavering, you grasp the heavy brass chalice in your hands and with courage etched in your features, take a long draught of the Arbor red.

As you drink, Aegon raises an eyebrow in mild surprse, watching as you take a rather ambitious swig of strongwine. He finds he’s actually impressed with your ability, and his expression soon transforms into a smirk of amusement.

He takes a sip from his own chalice before setting it back down on the table. “You drink deeper than many of my knights, I can tell you that,” he jests with a good-humored ease, testing the boundaries of this fledgling dynamic.

Your cheeks blush once more although this time it is likely due to the wine as well as your timidity. “This is much better than the swill the staff typically has access to,” you offer almost apologetically, as though it were not proper for you to imbibe in your spare time.

The admission has the corners of his mouth curling into a grin once more, and a breathy laugh escapes his lips. It’s clear now that the two of you are finally making progress, the barrier of propriety quickly falling away as it typically did with drink.

“So you mean to say you enjoy good wine, yes?” he teases lightly, tapping his fingertips against the edge of his cup, his gaze focused on you, eager to see your reaction.

“I am enjoying it, yes,” you say with bright eyes, your guilt beginning to fade away with each sip of sweet wine you take.

Aegon can sense the increased ease in your demeanor, and is delighted by the sight of it. He knows that the alcohol has broken through the tension that’s been building between the two of you for days now and he plans to take full advantage of it, feeling even bolder in his pursuit of you.

“Good,” he replies gladly, feeling content with the newfound freedom he’s allowed himself. “Then have some more,” Aegon adds, his tone light and playful as he pushes the decanter of wine closer to you, encouraging you to fill your own cup. He can feel a pleasant buzzing in his head from the strongwine, and can tell that you aren’t far behind him.

“Is Your Grace trying to get me drunk?” you ask, a surprising riposte that he didn’t expect from you.

The question has Aegon laughing aloud, the sound hearty and full of mirth. He leans closer, sliding his elbow further along the table as he offers you a grin. That little spark of humor you show only heightens his own sense of urgency to be in your arms once more.

The king rests his chin on his fist, and raises a brow at you with a mischievous grin. “And what if I was?” he replies playfully.

“Then I’d have to ask to what aim?” you say holding onto your cup, your finger tracing the circular rim of it.

Aegon’s gaze is drawn to your fingers, following the movement as his pulse quickens. He can hear your question, but it fails to register fully as he’s momentarily lost in a daydream of those same fingers running across his skin. His mouth goes dry and his skin feels hot. He finds he must take another large draught of wine to calm the sudden surge of longing that courses through him.

“Well,” he says, his tone feigning seriousness. “Perhaps I intend to get you drunk so I might take advantage of you.”

Aegon is surprised when you chuckle in response to his daring assertion, having expected more of a demure reaction instead. “You would not have to ply me with wine for that,” you admit, lowering your head slightly as though realizing how direct your words had been a little too late.

His eyes go temporarily wide as he registers your brazen honesty, wondering if he’d even heard you correctly. “Do you jest with your king, girl?” he asks incredulously.

“No,” she offers adamantly, with all the defiance of a loyal hound. “I’m afraid I’d be quite willing.”

“Is that so?” Aegon says more for his own confirmation than to communicate it, his eyebrow raising with dubious intent.

His stiffening cock was becoming uncomfortable in his taut breeches and he couldn’t help but consider the irony that such an innocent encounter had taken on an incredibly sexual nature. The comfort you had offered him becoming like an intoxicating fuel to his loins, making you far more attractive than any other woman could ever possibly be in his eyes.

“And what would you be willing to do in order to satisfy your king?” he prods further, feeling confident that he has the upper hand now. His desire to claim everything you have to offer now undeniable.

“I-I,” you begin to stutter nervously, clearly not expecting such a blunt response from him. “What is it you wish of me?”

Aegon let’s out a sharp huff of delight at the question you pose. To his great joy it seems you truly don’t realize the effect you have over him right now. He stands from his chair, sending it backwards with the backs of his thighs. His legs then carry him around the corner of the table until he’s towering above you, looking down upon your trembling form with a burning hunger.

“The real question is.. What don’t I desire of you?” he poses the question with a lurid tone as he thumbs the neckline of your bodice. “I believe you’ll find me quite insatiable in my needs.”

You’re frozen in his sights, appraising him with frightened doe-eyes, but there is no mistaking the undercurrent of lust also hidden right below the surface. Likely, the only true trepidation you have is the thought of performing such acts out of wedlock, but it seems obvious to Aegon at least, that you should have no concerns when offering your virtue up to a king. And given the poorly state of mind he’s been in as of late and desperate weakness he has for you, it’s possible you might even be assisting in the betterment of the realms.

“You’re speechless,” he hums softly, running the back of his knuckles over your bare collarbone. “Don’t worry, I will do the talking,” he says with a smirk, delighted to hear that he sounds every bit the authoritative ruler he should. “Take my hands,” he commands softly, reaching down as he grasps you and encourages you to rise from your chair.

When you obligingly follow his orders and rise before him, Aegon then guides you, leading you towards the bed. He stops once the backs of your knees hit the wooden frame, which is now padded by many layers of newly laid quilts, and turns you away from him. His hands carefully unfasten your apron, tossing it over the footboard before he starts to work at untying the laces of your dress. He loosens them swiftly until your bodice hangs slack.

He’s very well practiced in the art of removing a woman’s clothing, whether they be a whore, a noblewoman, or even a servant as is your case. Still, he holds a certain fondness for you, a consideration that he does not offer readily to most of his conquests. You have given him something so valuable, a treasure that no other has even thought to bestow upon him, and he means to reward you well for it.

Aegon finally removes your dress, pulling it over your head and placing it on top of the apron. All that remains now is a long sleeved undershirt, a slightly more drab version of the sort all women wore under their dresses. He’d like to rip it from your body, but you’ve stirred up such tenderness within his empty heart that he is loathe to treat you in such a way.

Instead, he turns you to face him once more and takes a step back to regard you. “You truly are beautiful,” he states with a sort of quiet awe. He had never really noticed you before and he most definitely should have. What with your cornsilk blond hair and bright blue eyes. Was he really so oblivious to the people and the world around him that he couldn’t even notice such a stunning, caring maiden working directly under his nose? Had he always been avoiding any state of mental clarity and missed so much in the process of hiding from himself?

You look at him nervously, your body antsy as you shift uneasily, precariously balanced on the edge of the mattress.

“Sit,” he tells you in a hushed tone, not quite wanting to sound as bossy as he does, but trying to relieve you of your discomfort. He takes another step back once you have complied, his gaze now roaming your body, taking in the sight of you, or at least what he can see in that loose potato sack of a frock you’re wearing. Aegon can definitely make out some of your feminine curves though, the slope of your shoulder incredibly pleasing as is the way your breasts protrude noticeably through the fabric, and so too do your wide hips.

He smiles warmly at you, his eyes taking their time to appreciate the woman before him. He can’t help but ponder in this moment, how he’s never felt this way before, a lust that isn’t just physical in nature, but somehow more genuine. Aegon is no stranger to carnal pleasures and strongly desires to claim you in every way possible. But there is something more present in his heart as well, the wish to hold you close and protect you from the entire world, and to in turn be sheltered by you from the chaos of the Iron Throne.

Aegon decides then that he wants your first time together to be gentle, just as it was when you first came together. He closes the distance between the two of you and reaches out with both hands, grabbing softly on either side of your shoulders. Your soft, supple flesh gives pleasingly beneath his fingers as he guides you to lay down on top of the blankets. As you scoot backwards across the width of the bed, he can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction that you were finally in his bed and no longer a fantasy inside his mind.

Once you’ve nestled into the plushness beneath you, he steps back again, his fingers making quick work of removing his woolen doublet. A flush of excitement blooms across his alabaster skin as he makes a show of the action, enjoying the way you watch him with such focused anticipation. He casts the garment to the floor, now removing his boots as swiftly as he can.

With his breeches already half undone and his chest exposed beneath a simple linen shirt, he is gifted with the sight of you lying in his bed in wait. The image is far more pleasant, far more intimate, than any other woman he has ever taken to bed. Your warmth radiates outward like a blazing fire and by now he is desperate to feel your heat directly. He practically rips his undershirt off, flinging it sideways across the covers.

Aegon makes his way back to you, lifting one knee up onto the mattress and crawling over the entire length of your body until he is face to face with you. His hand cradles your jaw tenderly, caressing up and down until his fingers slip up into your long, flowing tresses.

His intense, violet eyes fix upon yours, looking for any hesitation, but he sees none. It was as though you had been given to him as a gift from the gods, you who always gave and never took from him. There is a vulnerability in his expression that is rarely visible, replacing his usual display of smugness.

He maneuvers his breeches down without much effort, kicking them off once they’re low enough. Now fully settled into the valley of your spread legs, Aegon then grips the hem of your shift, lifting it up your thighs until he feels your body tense. He glances up at you and sees a pang of worry present that is perfectly normal, especially for a maiden.

The king asks the question he’s sure he already knows the answer to. “Have you done this before?”

You shake your head no as a blush of pink covers your cheeks and you bite your lip with pent up longing. Even with your inexperience and worry, he can tell how eager you are regardless. Much like he had been warring with his own thoughts about pursuing more with his chambermaid, you seem torn between your fears and your desires as well.

Aegon smiles sincerely, brushing his thumb gently along your lower lip, before leaning down to give you a chaste kiss. It was a bit of a selfish wish of his that you were untainted by any other man, and a part of him was happy to hear that you were indeed a virgin. It made him revel in delight; knowing you were his alone, that he’d be your first and your last if he had any say in it.

“Relax,” he whispered parting from your lips. “I’ll go slowly.” Aegon gazes at you again, wondering if this is perhaps too much for you, too soon. “That is if you still wish to.”

A look of panic crosses your face, as though you’re worried he might stop. “N-No! I still want to!” you affirm urgently. Your hands wrap around his back, pulling him closer to you, seemingly unwilling to let him go.

The king can barely contain his elation as he presses his forehead to yours, chuckling slightly at your eagerness. His hand slips beneath your undershirt and he slowly strokes the soft skin of your stomach, his fingers grazing over the warm plains of your flesh. Aegon’s breath hitches as he travels higher up your abdomen, finding the pliant curve of your breast.

You moan softly beneath his greedy touch, your body writhing with fervor, and your hips rising impatiently to meet him. Any question he had that you might not be fully keen about this joining was now all but diffused by your enthusiasm.

“You make such pretty sounds,” he teases playfully, feeling a sense of satisfaction at how responsive you are to his touch. He gives your breast a firm squeeze, then teases over the sensitive areola before cupping the whole mound again. His cock throbs painfully against the mattress, still bound by his smallclothes and yearning to sink into your heat.

His pulse pounds with expectation, finally feeling a sense of relief from the pent up desire he’s held for you all of this time. Aegon removes his hand from under your shift, propping himself up on the bed as he reaches down to unlace his braie. His hand brushes against your core in the process and he shivers at the feel of how wet you already are for him.

With his stiff length finally freed, he ventures a finger along your folds, growling at the silky slickness of your center. “Gods,” he utters with a groan. His cock twitches with need as he tests the tightness of your cunny, eyes rolling back in ecstasy as he imagines thrusting into you with his thick member instead of his digit.

“Are you ready for me, girl?” he asks eagerly, the question a soft inquiry as well as a warning of the impending pain his intrusion is likely to cause. At this point, he feels more like a lovesick boy than the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, his suspense heavy as he drapes your leg around his his hip, opening you more to him. He positions his head at your entrance and presses himself closer to you.

You nod, never taking your eyes off of him as you wrap your hands around his back. Aegon rests his weight on his elbows, covering you completely as he kisses you with tenderness. He tries to express everything he feels for you with actions instead of words, his lips hungrily devouring yours with passion. Without breaking the kiss, he begins to ease into you slowly, immediately feeling the resistance of your still in tact virtue.

His arms slide down, gripping your hips on each side tightly as his chest presses into yours. You let out a whimper into his mouth as he breaches your depths, your thighs clenching against his body at the sharp pain of his invasion. It doesn’t take long for you to relax again, your walls suddenly more welcoming as the sting subsides.

Aegon parts from your lips, pulling back slightly so he can look down at you. A smirk forms on his face as he sees your lurid expression and he begins to move, his hips rolling against yours in a slow, sensual rhythm. His hands slide down to your thighs, spreading them further apart as he thrusts himself deeper inside you. He groans with overwhelming pleasure at the feel of you, his head falling forward as he picks up the pace.

He kisses you again, forcing his tongue into your mouth as he continues to move inside of you. His tongue dances with yours as he begins to lose control, his hips snapping against you with intensity. Aegon can feel his release approaching quickly, unable to hold back for much longer, he tries to hasten you along to satisfaction. His hand slides up your shift once more, squeezing your breast and tweaking your delicate nipple until it pebbles between his fingers.

You squirm under him, incapable of holding still as he drives into you with increased enthusiasm. The king grinds his hips into you relentlessly, grimacing at the way your walls tighten around his cock like a vice. Aegon’s grip on your tit becomes harder, flipping between gripping and tweaking your sensitive nipple. His lips withdraw abruptly, his mouth searching out your other breast and nipping it through your undershirt.

He grins against the cloth as you cry out loudly, your body rigid as your climax rolls over you and soon he can feel it wash over his length as well. But, he can’t take it anymore, not how tight you are or how creamy your release feels on his tender cockhead. It’s all too much and within a moment he is gripping hard to your flesh and burying himself deep within you, his spend erupting in spurts from his pulsing member.

“Fuuuccck,” he growls out, his hands finding their way beneath your back and pulling you towards him securely, trying to get even closer if that was at all possible.

You pant below him, trying to catch your breath as little spasms continue to twitch throughout your back and your thighs tremble against his hips. A warm, blissful calm settles over him as he nestles his face into the crook of your neck and inhales deeply of your scent. He feels pleasantly dizzy, his heartbeat finally slowing as the haze of lust subsides.

Aegon sighs into your ear, the tone content and relaxed. “That was incredible,” he murmured softly, his voice low as he gently runs his hand along the side of your cheek.

“It was,” is all you can manage to say, your breath still a bit ragged as you try to come down from the high.

Your hand finds its way into his white hair again, brushing up against the nape of his neck and causing him to shiver. He’s once again reminded of the shared encounter that started all of this and he’s overcome with a fondness that makes his chest ache.

Aegon feels closer to you in every possible way now and isn’t keen on the idea of parting from you, but he can feel his cock softening and the mess beginning to pool on the sheets. So he slowly pulls out of you, collapsing onto the bed at your side. He grabs one of his stray garments without looking, probably his smallclothes or maybe his shirt, and cleans up his seed from you first and then himself.

He adjusts towards the head of the bed, resting on his side against the pillows and reaching out for you to join him as he scuttles under the covers. “Come here,” he says softly, pained by the loss of her warmth.

As you get up and crawl towards him, he scoops you up into his arms. Aegon holds you close, his chin resting against the top of your head as he wraps the quilts around your form and presses himself tighter against your back. The king can no longer deny the depth and the power of his feelings for you as you cuddle in his arms. There’s a sense of deep security and comfort welling up within him, but any words seem inadequate in this moment.

Aegon kisses your temple, the doting gesture unlike anything he’s bestowed upon a lover before. “I think I’m going to sleep quite well tonight,” he muses into your hair, still cradling you in his arms.

“Are you sure it’s alright for me to stay with you? In your chambers?” you ask quietly with seemingly no clue how ridiculous he thinks you sound for asking such a thing.

His mouth twitches into a small smile and he lifts his chin to press another kiss into your hair.

“Of course. I’m the king. I can do whatever I want,” he quips playfully, his voice sounding drowsy and relaxed as he settles into the plushness of the bed. “Now, come. Get your rest. You’re going to need it.” There is a gentle warning present in his tone that you do not seem to catch, that he intends to have more of you in the morning.

You nod, twisting your back towards the mattress until you’re facing him. The expression you give him is enough to make his heart melt, those big, blue eyes like deep pools filled with bottomless love and devotion. You wrap your hand behind his neck and pull him close for a kiss, a request he’s more than happy to oblige.

Your mouth is sweet and hot against his and he can’t help but to lick the line of your lower lip before parting from you. Aegon settles you back into place, his chest enveloping your smaller frame as he holds you possessively. He feels such solace in the close proximity of your body, his limbs toasty warm as he falls into a deep state of relaxation. He’s not even aware of when the moment he falls asleep, it happens so quickly.

—Aegon

When the first light of day streams through the window, Aegon finds his eyes drifting open and then closing again, not sure of what time it is, but too comfortable to want to move. His back feels incredibly warm with the slight dampness of sweat and he opens his lids once more to see your arm wrapped over his chest. He can feel your hot breath at his neck now that he’s paying attention fully and your leg slotted between his.

Aegon’s lips curl into a satisfied smile, basking in the near domestic feel of waking up like this with someone he actually cares for. He takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours as he rests his own arm on top of yours.

He tries to settle into his pillow once more, nuzzling his backside into you further and bending his knees more deeply. The peace is short lived though as the doors to his chamber fling open and he hears the startled gasp of a woman. It couldn’t be just any woman, like perhaps another maid come to clean his room in place of the one that never showed up for work. No, it had to be his mother, of all the people he did not wish to see this morning.

The king whips his head over his shoulder and squints in the direction of the door. His mother stands there with a hand over her mouth, frozen in horrified disbelief as though she’d just seen a ghost. Aegon grits his teeth, sitting up with a jolt, forced to realize just how compromising this situation must look with the way he was tangled in bed naked with you.

“No, no, no, no, no, Aegon!!” she practically screams at him and the sound jars you from your slumber. He wishes you could have stayed asleep, to have escaped the madness of his family for just a little longer.

Alicent picks up her skirts so she can walk swiftly around the bed and to his side, standing there with a judgmental sneer. “This is just like Diana, isn’t it!?” she cries hysterically. “Isn’t it!?” his mother prods him further.

Aegon looks back, catching your shifting uneasiness from his peripheral vision, then turns to his mother again, suddenly feeling very protective of you. You are innocent in all of this and should be afforded the ability to wake up from your first time making love in some semblance of calm, not to one of his mother’s outbursts. And of course the first thought she would have of him was that he had raped yet another servant girl. His mother was blissfully ignorant of everything he had done as a young man, except for the acts she felt the need to berate him for, even though she had never been around to offer any kind of proper guidance.

He lets out a groan of exasperation, running his fingers through his mussed hair and tries to think of an answer that might satisfy his fuming mother, but he knows this is a lost cause.

“No,” he denies, shaking his head as he avoids eye contact with her. There is no conviction in his tone, but it’s not like she would ever believe a thing he said on the matter.

“So it was consensual then?” the Dowager Queen asks glaring past Aegon and looking straight at you.

He glances to his side and sees you nod, but interrupts before you can say anything more. “You do not have to explain yourself to her,” he says in a much softer voice, trying to shield you from his mother.

“So, she’s just another one of your tramps then!” Alicent hisses with disgust. “Is it so hard for you to keep your hands off the staff? Can’t be bothered to go into the city anymore, you need to make sure you find your pleasure within the walls of the Red Keep?” Her words are vitriolic and hateful without any attempt to understand the situation.

“I should have gotten rid of your father’s little bastard when I had the chance. I should have known better that she would be too pretty for you to resist, but I was assured that the girl’s skills were tantamount to any risk,” she continued on her tirade, barking out every spiteful dagger she could think of.

“What of your wife!? How can you carry on like this!? Oblivious to the people you hurt!?” the Queen Dowager prattled on, not waiting for an answer, but seemingly wanting to preach her conclusions endlessly.

“You know Helaena’s fallen deep into sadness ever since Jaehaerys died. Ever since you forced her to endure that disgusting funeral procession through the streets of the city.. And it’s not like we ever had a deep connection even before that, Mother.” Aegon’s voice was bitter, resentful. He was sick and tired of this farce of familial love when she barely ever showed him any hint of it.

He’s incredibly shocked when he hears you speak up, your voice quiet, but accusing, even defensive, “You’re one to talk, Queen Dowager. You hurt Aegon more than any other.”

“How dare you! You insolent wretch!” his mother didn’t hesitate to bite back, her acrimony potent in the air. “You can consider your employ here ended. Gather your belongings and leave!” she looked at you impatiently, as though expecting you to stand immediately and go. “Now!” she snarled, her nose crinkled with anger.

“No,” the king interceded on your behalf, stilling you with his hand on your hip. “You will not go anywhere.”

“She absolutely will go! This is not acceptable behavior for any chambermaid in the employ of the royal family!” Alicent was insistent, with no sign of backing down, but Aegon had enough of this contest of wills.

“Mother!” he bellowed at her furiously, finally snapping back at her with conviction. “I am the king and you will obey me!”

That finally got her attention, for the first time in his entire life he saw a flash of fear in his mother’s eyes and it only emboldened him to continue.

“You will not do a thing to this girl. She is under my protection,” he added, his ruling absolute. “And if I find that you have touched her, hurt her in any way, then I will have you hung. Just like the rat catchers.”

Aegon’s lips curl upwards in smug satisfaction, finally realizing a fraction of the true power he held as sovereign of the realms. His mother did not respond, regarding him with silent malice, her glare ever testing the limits to see if he truly meant it. When she saw that he did, his mother backed down, her shoulder slumping slightly as she relented, but not before getting one last dig in.

“Very well, My King,” she mocked with false sincerity, giving him a sarcastic curtsy. “I will leave you to your dalliances. I should know better than to interrupt a man having his fun.” She left in a flurry of resentment, slamming the door behind her with a loud thud.

No matter how furious he was with his mother, she still remained his parent, the woman who gave him life, whom he loved and had once revered above all else. Even this victory he had over her felt hollow, and he realized that even when he won, he still lost in one way or another.

He turned to you, his expression a mix of concern and tenderness. Aegon stroked gently at the side of your cheek, wanting to make you feel safe again after you’d been forced to tolerate the full brunt of his mother’s wrath. He found you to be more resilient than he’d ever expected, already sitting up and staring at him with a knowing look upon your face.

“I’m so sorry,” you say softly and almost instantly he feels something within his chest fracture.

It might have been the facade he always wore cracking, how he always projected an image of indifferent merriment so none would know how truly miserable he was. It might even have been the very fact that you had suffered insults by associating with him and yet you were still concerned about his well being.

Aegon can feel tears welling in his eyes and when you spread your arms out towards him, he doesn’t hesitate to crash into you. He buries his face in your comforting bosom and finally allows himself to fall apart in your embrace without shame. It’s probably the safest and most accepted he’s ever felt in his entire life and he knows now that he won’t ever be able to exist without you.

As you rake your fingers through his silvery locks, his tears dwindle until he is left relaxed, sated by your validation that his life is not as easy as everyone might think it is. He listens to your heartbeat as his fingers dig firmly into your back, making sure you can never leave his side. It’s a mercy, that you don’t seem to mind how clingy and needy he is. If anything, you seem born to mend his wounds, a soothing balm to his troubled soul.

You lean back against the pillows and soon Aegon finds himself drifting asleep against you. As his aching eyes begin to close, he can’t help but hope that he never disappoints you. He’s so convinced that he is a failure from the constant disparagements he’s endured throughout his life, that he can’t even fully enjoy you without worrying that he isn’t worthy of you - that you might leave him.

As if reading his mind, your hand massages gently along his scalp, cradling his head closer to your breast. “Don’t worry,” you say reassuringly. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

Aegon didn’t know how you could possibly promise him such a thing, but somehow hearing you say it aloud makes him actually want to believe it.

Read Chapter 2

And will you be bold Will you lose control? I could never desert you I could never let go If you fall in line And the zenith calls I'm standing waiting The last to fall

~Starset - Last to Fall

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extraordinarilyextreme · 2 months ago

Text

on 妖 yao (and 慕声 Mu Sheng) in 永夜星河 Love Game in Eastern Fantasy (2024)

crossposted from a twitter thread!

there are SO many things i love about YYXH, but something i really appreciate is their portrayal of 妖 yao.

in ep. 10, Mu Sheng says, “人心有七窍，妖心只有一窍。所以大多数妖物的品行都简单执拗。” / "Human hearts have seven apertures [are complex and calculating]; but yao hearts have only one [are simple]. That's why the conduct of most yao creatures is uncomplicated and obstinate."

窍 / apertures (openings; orifices) are where the human body is connected to the outside world. as such, 七窍 seven orifices usually refers to the eyes (2), nose (2 nostrils), ears (2), and mouth (1). BUT...

in the context of the heart, it more often alludes to the virtuous character of 比干 Prince Bigan from the Ming dynasty novel 《封神演义》 Investiture of the Gods.

there, it was said that 圣人之心有七窍 / the hearts of saints [good men] have seven apertures...

...so, of course, the righteous and smart Bigan was rumored to possess a 七窍玲珑心 / lit. delicate seven aperture heart.

Bigan's story didn't end well (his heart was cut out by order of the infamous King Zhou of Shang), but 七窍玲珑 still means "clever and quick-witted."

now... 窍 can mean "opening"—but another way to say so could be 眼 / eye (or, "hole"). that is, we can draw a near-equivalency between 七窍玲珑心 / lit. seven-chambered heart and 多心眼 / lit. many heart's eyes; an overabundance of concern...

in particular, 多心眼 (or to say that someone 心眼多) not only implies wit and sharpness (i.e., "having a lot of thoughts"), but also some level of cunning and shrewdness. that is, to be "mindful of many things" means one is "considering of many things" and "calculating."

hence, returning to Mu Sheng's explanation: humans are crafty, always thinking of a hundred other variables and planning another hundred steps ahead. (that's why humans betray and deceive and hurt one another...)

but yao are simple.

yao don't have so many of these excess considerations. if they are hungry, they will seek to feed. if they are hurt, they will fight back. if they are scared, they will hide. if they are cared for, they will respond with equal gentleness.

in other words: yao are not human.

and this distinction is what made so many classic xianxias and yao-centric stories so compelling (think 白素贞 Bai Suzhen from the romance folktale 白蛇传 White Snake Legend).

to discuss our beloved 慕声 Mu Sheng as an example: it can be easy to say he has a jiejie-complex or is almost yandere-like about 慕瑶 Mu Yao, but we have to remember that as half-yao, he doesn't operate on the same frame of reference as humans. Mu Yao is the one person who has been consistently kind to him since he was young, and so he will reciprocate that kindness to (human standards of) extremity. likewise, when our cutie-pie 凌妙妙 Ling Miaomiao regards him with kindness, Mu Sheng will feel inclined to answer that with affections a hundred or a thousand times stronger.

though he grew up among humans, Mu Sheng's yao half should not be forgotten. humans may be fickle in their feelings; but yao (in general) will not be. once they have found someone worth their affections, they will love fiercely and to a terrifying degree. you can also understand it as yao not necessarily posessing the same understanding of 分寸 / "propriety" that humans do.

so, again, yao are not human—and that is why their stories have always been so compelling to us. we place limits on our conduct and behavior for a variety of socially-imposed and learned reasons, but yao as an imperfect reflection of our human selves allow us to live out our "fantasies" of extremity.

i think the new era of xianxias have largely traded that yao-human distinction for other things, like eye-catching CGI, flowy costumes, and the three lives, three worlds formula—which are, of course, not inherently bad.

YYXH itself is part of this new chapter of storytelling/the genre of xianxias after all (esp. given its existence as a 古偶), but that is ultimately precisely why it stands out so much to me.

is it the first or only xianxia in recent years to show that yao are nuanced? that yao are neither all good nor all bad? — of course not!

but i think it is undoubtedly among the very, very few in recent years that has successfully portrayed just what it is that makes yao so uniquely compelling. and that is due in large part to both strong writers (who also did 《苍兰诀》 Love Between Fairy and Devil) and strong actors.

in short, YYXH feels like a labor of love. love for the original 《黑莲花攻略手册》 novel; love for the xianxia genre; love for storytelling, in an era driven by capitalistic cash-grabs and the ruthlessness of c-ent.

the reality of that is up for debate, but as one individual viewer, i want to say that this drama has made me very happy. it is both respectful of and pays homage to the yao of classic xianxias.

and to be able to share and enjoy that cultural artefact—something that is so uniquely and immutably Chinese—with others, is something that brings me a lot of joy. ✨

#永夜星河 #love game in eastern fantasy #meta #cdrama ramblings

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wisecura · 1 month ago

Text

Sheets

megumi fushiguro x fem-reader

p.1

p.2 ⁭ ( ⸝⸝꩜ ᯅ ꩜⸝⸝;) p.3

p.2

AN: Thank you for reading part 2! Again each of these will be around 3k in length. Enjoy!

warnings: i'm putting these here for future chapters too, and ill sprinkle some in as I go. I want to make it clear, there is no underage sex, but later on there will be some more raunchy shit. this is somewhat non-canon compliant-make it up as I go

-ok for the real warnings: yandere, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, mommy kinks, mommy issues, arranged marriages, forced marriages, angst, eventual smut, clan politics, age gap (5 years from meg, and a little over 10 with toji), toji aint the best dad, mentions of child abuse, slowww build.

Short summary: Your arranged marriage to Toji Fushiguro had been sudden and unexpected, but now you found yourself living under his roof alongside his moody stepson. Your only directive from your clan head before moving in was clear: keep a close eye on Toji, the notorious Sorcerer Killer, and his son, a potential sorcerer prodigy.

Another

Cleaning had always been second nature to you, a skill drilled into you by your clan as a symbol of discipline and propriety.

The ways of a proper young lady.

Back then, it had been another way to meet their rigid standards, but now, in Toji’s apartment, it served a different purpose.

You weren’t trying to meet anyone’s expectations. It felt more like you were creating a space that felt livable, even comforting. As you scrubbed and tidied, remnants of your clan’s demands linger in your mind.

Megumi stayed holed up in his room, avoiding you, though you suspected it wasn’t out of rudeness.

Maybe he was still figuring you out, testing the waters before deciding how to interact. You couldn't blame him. This was all new and strange for both of you.

As you scrubbed the counters and sorted through laundry, you tried to keep yourself busy, hoping to quiet the restless hum of your thoughts. The spiraling.

But the silence of the apartment only amplified them, leaving you with little to do but reflect.

You thought long and hard about your next move—about what you wanted and what you were willing to do. You hadn’t expected to make it this far, away from the suffocating grip of your clan, away from the rules they’d meticulously instilled into you. This already felt like a step up.

No one was yelling. No one was crying. And most importantly, no one was punishing you for merely existing.

And for once, you could breathe.

But could you settle here? Could you turn this into a real home? The thought carried a weight you hadn’t anticipated, especially when you considered who you were married to.

Toji Fushiguro.

The infamous thirty-something gambler whose reputation preceded him. His name carried weight—none of it good. You’d only heard whispers about him before, rumors about the "Sorcerer Killer" who couldn’t see curses, but had carved a place for himself in a world that didn’t want him. The name he was making for himself wasn’t the kind anyone would aspire to have.

And now, he was your husband.

Could he truly be better than what you’d left behind?

Marriage had never been a simple thing for people like you. It was, more often than not, a transaction, a tool for power and alliances, never a partnership.

You'd settled your peace with that. But you couldn’t be sure what kind of man Toji would turn out to be. So far, he was unpredictable—evasive, blunt, and not exactly brimming with warmth.

When you first met Toji, you’d been terrified.

His deep voice, gruff and laced with irritation, felt like a warning in itself. And he hadnt been happy when you first saw him. His towering, muscular frame only added to the daunting image.

Many clan marriages ended in misery. Beaten wives, suffocating rules, and vows that served only to bind and restrict.

The unknown had loomed large that day.

You’d been genuinely shocked when Toji had even shown up to the meeting. After all, he already had a history—a wife before you, a notorious rebellious streak, and a reputation soaked in blood.

What had happened to her?

The question lingered in your mind, twisting your thoughts into a frantic swirl as you tried to piece together what kind of man he was and what exactly you might be walking into.

Not that you had much of a choice.

To your relief, he left shortly after bringing you home, without forcing himself on you or issuing a set of house rules. But even without his demands, you already knew your place.

How could you not?

The weight of the clan’s expectations had been drilled into you for as long as you could remember.

Still, the questions remained.

Could you trust him? Could he truly protect you from the very people who had pushed you into this marriage? Or would he become like the others you’d seen—the cruel, controlling men who treated their wives as tools?

If things got sticky, you could run. But the thought terrified you. Your clan wasn’t known for letting their investments go so easily. They had their motives, their expectations for you, and you knew better than to think they’d let you walk away unscathed.

The marriage was a means to an end, and the moment you stopped being useful, they wouldn’t hesitate to dissolve it. Drag you back, kicking and screaming.

The questions would start soon if you didn’t make an appearance at the estate for a ‘visit.’ You’d have to come up with something to keep them satisfied, a way to buy yourself more time.

But would it be enough? You weren’t about to stoop to spying, but maybe if you offered them the bare minimum, it could hold them off. Still, you knew the risk.

Back to the suffocating walls of their estate. Back to the life you’d fought so hard to escape. Back to another arranged marriage—this time, likely to someone far worse.

Someone who wouldn’t tolerate even a shred of independence.

You had no illusions about what they were capable of. They’d find you. They’d make an example of you. The consequences were always swift, brutal, and served as a warning to others.

The only thing keeping you from that fate was this house.

Toji.

For all his flaws, for all the uncertainty that surrounded him, Toji was the barrier between you and the life you so desperately wanted to escape.

The clan couldn’t touch you here—not while you were under his roof. His name and infamous reputation were enough to keep them at bay for now.

But why had he even agreed to this marriage? It didn’t serve him. If anything, it seemed like another chain, another tie he’d likely resent. What had convinced him to take on a responsibility that did him no favors?

The thought nagged at you as you clung to the fragile sense of safety he unknowingly provided.

For now, you had to play the game carefully. Toji was unpredictable, but at least he wasn’t actively cruel. You’d take your chances with him over returning to the hell you’d left behind.

And yet, still, he hadn’t returned. When would he come home? Sure it'd only been a day, but...

When lunchtime rolled around, you prepared food for both yourself and Megumi. Doubling the portions, you were glad he was starting to warm up to you, even if only slightly. Knocking softly on his door, you waited for a moment before it creaked open.

Megumi stood there, his expression unreadable as usual, but he took the plate with a small nod.

“Thanks,” he muttered before retreating back into his room, the door closing firmly behind him.

So, you ate alone.

It wasn’t the solitude that stung the most—it was the familiarity of it.

Sitting at the quiet table, your thoughts drifted to the countless meals you’d eaten alone back at the clan house.

You’d thought leaving that life behind would make things different, that here, in this little apartment, you could find something resembling peace.

But for now, the silence was deafening.

You reminded yourself to remember that this was better and you needed to be patient.

At least you knew Megumi wasn’t cruel or rude—just guarded. He was still so young, still figuring out his place in all of this.

So, you cleared your plate, brushed off the dull ache settling in your chest, and told yourself that this was temporary.

It was just a matter of time.

Later in the day, you decided to step out for groceries. The apartment was practically empty, the fridge holding little more than condiments and a few questionable leftovers.

You couldn’t fathom how Toji and Megumi had been surviving off such meager scraps. You’d noticed the state of things your first day there, picking up a few essentials just to scrape by. But today, you decided it was time to stock up properly.

Standing by the front door, you hesitated for a moment, glancing toward Megumi’s room. A small part of you debated whether to ask him to come along. It might have been nice to have the company, and perhaps the outing could help you two get closer. But you quickly pushed the thought aside.

This wasn’t his responsibility. It was yours. You were the one trying to build a home here, the one who had stepped into this role. So you would need to do it.

With a quiet sigh, you grabbed your shopping list and headed out the door. It wasn’t a long walk to the nearby market, but as you made your way down the street.

By the time you returned, your arms were weighed down with bags. Maybe you’d gotten carried away, but everything seemed so necessary. Stumbling through the front door, you dumped the bags onto the counter with a relieved sigh.

Megumi peeked out from the doorway, alerted by the sound. “You’re back?”

“Yeah,” you said, turning slightly to smile at him, still catching your breath. “Got some food for tonight.”

He frowned, his gaze shifting to the hefty bags on the counter.

“Didja walk all this back yourself?”

“Mhmm,” you replied with a small hum, stretching your back before reaching to start putting things away.

Before you could even grab the first item, Megumi stepped into the kitchen, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly as he gently nudged you aside.

“Go rest. I’ll put it ‘way,” he muttered without any real bite.

You blinked at him, caught off guard by the unexpected offer, but decided not to argue. Instead, you took a seat at the kitchen table, watching him move around the room.

His movements were deliberate and efficient as he pulled items from the bags. He inspected each one carefully, as though weighing its importance, before putting it into its proper place.

For a moment, you forgot the weight of everything else and simply watched.

Megumi, for all his prickliness, had his own way of showing appreciation—even if he didn’t say it out loud. It was hard not to notice how much care he put into something so simple.

He still reminded you of a grumpy old cat—aloof, guarded, but with moments of surprising thoughtfulness.

A small laugh escaping you as the thought crossed your mind.

Megumi glanced over his shoulder, his sharp eyes narrowing in suspicion. “What’s so funny?” he asked, his tone flat, though the faint red at the tips of his ears betrayed some building irritation.

“Nothing,” a small, teasing smile playing on your lips. “Just thinking about how teenagers can be so stubborn sometimes.”

“Stubborn?” he parroted, his tone disbelieving. “I’m not stubborn. You’re acting like I’m some little kid or something.”

The amused smile tugging at your lips only grew as you tilted your head at him. “Well, aren’t you? Just a little bit, maybe?”

And his scowl deepened, the flush on his cheeks darkening. The faint hint of embarrassment making him look unbearably adorable.

“I’m not a kid. I’m almost fourteen,” he muttered, his voice firm, though it teetered dangerously close to a pout.

Your laugh now unrestrained, unable to resist teasing him just a bit more. It seemed so easy for him to ruffle up. “Fourteen, huh? Practically a grown-up. My bad.”

Megumi’s gaze darted away briefly before snapping back to you, his tone quieter but still holding a note of defiance. “You’re not that much older than me. You’re what? Sixteen?”

You shook your head, unable to hide your amusement. “Sixteen? Try eighteen, Megumi. I’m officially an adult, thank you very much.”

His eyes narrow, as if processing the information. “Eighteen?” he muttered under his breath, his skepticism clear. “You don’t look eighteen.”

Feigning offense, you straightened your posture. “Well, I am,” you said with mock indignation. “And as the adult here, I think I get to call you a kid.”

Megumi huffed, crossing his arms. “You don’t act like an adult. You’re more like a bossy older sister.”

That made you grin even wider. Was that supposed to be an insult? “Bossy older sister, huh? I think I’ll take that as a compliment.”

He avoided your gaze, pretending to focus on folding one of the empty grocery bags.

“Take it however you want,” he muttered, his tone clipped, though the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth gave him away.

“Well, thanks, I guess,” you said playfully. “But I’m still older than you, and that makes you the kid, like it or not.”

Megumi frowned but didn’t argue further. Instead, he busied himself with the counter, his lips pressed into a firm line.

“But I’m not a kid,”

You raised your hands in mock surrender, your tone kind and teasing.

“Alright, alright. You’re not a kid. You’re a very mature almost-fourteen-year-old. Better?”

Turning his attention back to the counter, he muttered, “Whatever,”

You leaned back in your chair, watching him with a mix of fondness and curiosity.

Megumi had a way talking. A way of instilling fondness into the back of you mind. You already really liked the kid.

The way he tried to act older than he was—it was all so very… Megumi-esque. And you hadn't even known him for long. Not even a day. He had such predictably, you felt like you already knew him.

But kids with that much prickliness tend to have more going on.

“You know,” you said gently, breaking the silence, “you don’t have to rush to grow up so fast. Fourteen—or almost fourteen—is a good age to just…be.”

Megumi glanced at you, a blank look on his face. As if he wasn’t even considering what you were saying. “I’m not rushing anything. I just don’t want to be treated like some helpless kid.”

Now that got your attention.

You tilted your head, your smile softening. “I don’t think you’re helpless, Megumi. Not at all…I just think it’s okay to let people care about you sometimes. It doesn’t make you helpless.”

He didn’t reply, his gaze flickering back to the counter, but you could see the wheels turning in his head.

Then he lingered. The groceries were already put away, yet he didn’t leave. He didn’t know why he stayed. Maybe he didn’t want to admit it.

But his actions spoke louder than words ever could: maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind you being there. Doesn’t mind being around you. Psycho-ex of his dad’s or otherwise.

While making dinner, Megumi hovered close to your elbows. His dark eyes trailing your every movement with a quiet intensity that didn’t suit the task at hand.

He didn’t say a word, but his focus was unshakable, soaking in every detail. Your cooking so far had been phenomenal. Enough to make the kid jealous.

He wanted to learn, that much was clear—wanted to memorize the steps, the measurements, the little techniques you used. You had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t just curiosity.

His silence didn’t bother you. If anything, it gave you the perfect opportunity to chatter away, filling the room with a one-sided conversation that you hoped wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

You explained every step meticulously, breaking it down like a cooking show. Megumi didn’t interrupt or huff at you. Instead, he absorbed it all like a sponge, his head tilting slightly when you mentioned something new.

“Toji must not be much of a cook,” you remarked at one point, glancing at him with a teasing smile. His lips twitched upward for the briefest moment, a ghost of a smile that made your chest tighten with warmth.

Even when you explained the most basic things, like how to dice an onion properly, Megumi listened as though it were the most important lecture of his life.

It made sense—Megumi was still young, and cooking had always been considered a woman’s role in traditional clan life. And considering Toji’s seemingly chaotic lifestyle, and the lack of any obvious maternal figure, it was no wonder this felt new to him. Still, the conversation flowed a little easier that evening.

You hadn’t had many interactions with the other children back at the clan estate—everything there had been too rigid, too suffocating for anything resembling a healthy relationship.

It was surprise you were even social adept to talk with him now. You felt like you were finally getting to experience a somewhat normal family life.

And even in those moments, there was still a frigid layer of distance he maintain between you two—a protective barrier he refused to let you pass.

Distrusting, yes, but not beyond reach.

He was still trying to figure you out, sizing you up, before deciding whether you were even worth the effort of trusting.

Why the hell was this kid so frosty? Was it Toji? The absence of a mother? Or something else entirely? You weren’t sure, but the guarded way Megumi carried himself—the abrasiveness, the defensive huffiness—stirred something in you.

There had been plenty of kids like him back in the clan house. Some were cold and indifferent, their walls impenetrable.

Others carried arrogance like armor, wielding it to hide their insecurities.

But the ones who stayed with you—the ones who truly stuck in your memory—were those too weak to defend themselves, cast aside for showing too much emotion.

Beaten into shape.

Megumi wasn’t like that, obviously. But the thought of him enduring anything similar made you feel...protective. Kids don’t get that icy from a normal childhood, after all.

When you finally sat down to eat, the food, obviously, turned out fantastic.

Megumi, ever stoic, simply nodded in approval as he ate, but you caught the way his chopsticks moved a little faster than usual, and you couldn’t help but feel a small tinge of pride.

“Not bad, right?” you teased lightly, hoping to draw a reaction from him.

His eyes flicked up to meet yours for a fleeting second before he mumbled,

“It’s good.”

Another almost-smile.

It was your second day in and this kid would be the death of you.

p.3?

AN: Thank you for reading! Please reblog and like if you enjoy this series!

I will also be posting updates here:

https://www.tumblr.com/communities/obsessedjjk

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fairlyang · 3 months ago

Text

Summer Lovin’: We Go Together 🕷️

w/c: 6.9K

pairing: greaser!miguel x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. infamous dance scene w mig proving himself (better ending), his friends are instigators, drive in, groping, exhibitionism, fingering, stroking, praise, teasing, finally fucks you, riding, missionary, sweet ending

a/n: AHHHHH after 10 months my beloved part 3 is done!!! a year ago i first thought of this au and wrote it just for fun bc i love grease, now i’m happy to close this lil chapter after putting it off so long. honestly one of my favs series i’ve written :’)

part one — part two — the dress/tl of events

kinktober masterlist | main masterlist

Four weeks had passed and Miguel had taken every opportunity possible to take you out and practically show everyone that you were his.

It was a different sight to see for everyone, especially his fellow T Birds with the exception of Danny, who was really happy for him.

Kenickie also didn’t really care, mostly because he found himself in a predicament just like yours but unlike Miguel, he wasn’t ready to admit it to himself yet.

Unfortunately the younger three T Birds couldn’t believe it and started bickering to Miguel as soon as he broke the news to all of them.

While he got wide grins and bats on the back from Kenickie, and Danny, on the other hand he just got eye rolls and scoffs from the other three who couldn’t fathom thee Miguel O’Hara was finally living down his playboy ways.

They couldn’t believe one of their leaders, who taught them how to be the way they were, was just done with fooling around with a handful of girls at a time.

The girls on the other hand were shocked, with the exception of Frenchy and Sandy who somewhat had an idea where his head was at but the other three were not expecting that from him.

They didn’t believe it at first until the first week passed and it was so obvious to anyone with eyes that he was finally done with his bullshit.

Finally having pure happiness and tranquility with him by your side was all you could really ask for.

So after a bunch of cute dates and shared kisses, it was finally the day of the dance. You ended up going shopping with Frenchy and Sandy the day after the diner date because you just couldn’t wait and were so excited. They said you had to buy a new dress, one that Miguel would love.

And you found it.

You decided on a red cocktail dress that had a black ribbon around the waist and around the neckline as well, to tie behind your neck. It had some white ruffles underneath for more volume and Frenchy said it’d work great for the dances.

You thought it was so pretty and would impress Miguel.

And it did way more than that.

His jaw was practically on the floor when he picked you up and you had to drag him to his car before your mom forced you into taking pictures as if it was prom because he wore a matching red dress shirt with a black jacket.

Plus surely the cameras would capture good ones since the whole country was gonna see everyone dance live.

Somehow this university was picked out of all the other ones.

Some kind of miracle.

Or maybe a curse.

But the T birds claimed the principal must’ve slept with the host or something to consider Rydell.

You just gave them a side eye while Miguel scolded them for being dumbasses and always thinking in the gutter.

Both friend groups were together with the exception of Rizzo and Kenickie who split up and were nowhere to be seen.

Everyone was gossiping and judging people’s outfits or people’s dates but you just made yourself comfortable in Miguel’s arms while minding your business.

You felt so happy everything ended up working out and now you could truly be yourself with Miguel without the fear of him acting like a piece of shit.

Because if you were affectionate or doing some kind of pda, he’d just follow your lead.

It was the perfect change of pace after everything that’s happened and you owed it to yourselves to be so smitten in public.

You sighed and hugged him a little tighter when finally one of the professors tells everyone to form a circle and that the cameras will run shortly but that they wanted to do a warm up dance with the band.

Everyone ran inside the circle as soon as the tune of “Rock And Roll Is Here To Stay” started playing. All the couples were already hand in hand while the singletons sat off on the benches off to the side.

You and Miguel started just by dancing next to each other before he was in front of you, grabbing your hands, moving them side to side with his. He then gave you a quick spin before lifting you up, your legs going way up almost hitting the professor, who was keeping an eye out.

Miguel then somehow lifted you over his back and maneuvered you so you’d land straight up in front of him.

The professor was nodding his head before walking away while you continued being in sync with Miguel.

Some of the couples unfortunately couldn’t do that, one guy dropped the girl he was partnered with which resulted in her yelling at him for spoiling her chance to be on national television.

He walked around the circle observing who would still be in and who he’d have to cut short for raunchy actions which turned out to be quite the handful.

He found his way back to you guys when Miguel picked up up again, your legs were around his waist then you’re back in the air before he carefully drops you to the ground and you’re underneath him.

He turns around, grabbing your hands before he picks you back up. You do little bunny skips for a few seconds before picking you up once again, your hands holding the back of his head right. He then dipped you down while your legs cling onto his waist for dear life and he luckily didn’t drop you.

And it caught the eye of the professor who was taking some notes down. Frenchy and Doodie were watching you which had the prof assume they knew you.

Course they did.

But only would Doodie’s dumbass lie when asked about your names, claiming it’s Fred and Ginger. Frenchy scolded him but he just waved her off while the prof wrote those names down.

Meanwhile you and Miguel went to sit at the benches, just to catch your breath for a bit when something came to mind. “What if I get camera shy?” You ask making him laugh.

“I’m sure you’ll be alright. We’ll be good, right? Hm?” He says and you nod.

“We’ll be good.” You answer and he grins.

“Thatta girl. Now come on let’s go.” He says and grabs your hand, pulling you up and going back to the dance floor.

Meanwhile the next song was playing, a little slower one but on one corner of the gym was Rizzo and her new boy toy because she had a pregnancy scare with Kenickie and had no choice but to drop him.

Which only resulted in Kenickie getting Rizzo’s boy toy’s ex girl as his date.

A whole mess but it should’ve been expected with the amount of toxicity Kenickie and Rizzo have shown towards each other.

Rizzo saw them and gasped before stepping in front of her new man so he wouldn’t see but it was hard not to see with Kenickie giving this girl one of his so called “rare souvenirs”.

Jan and Putzie were also dancing. Or attempting to. Jan has only ever led while dancing which had them both in position to lead which only made them look stiff.

Frenchy was asking Doodie if he could at least spin her but he was counting his steps and trying hard to concentrate. It only looked like he was marching on the floor over trying to dance.

Danny and Sandy were off slow dancing, whispering in each others faces while they ignored everyone else around them. He’d occasionally spin her then pull her towards him to snatch a kiss from her.

You and Miguel were dancing back and forth until Miguel started just going backwards while attempting to sing like the singer of the band. “You have such a beautiful voice Miguel.” You tease making him continue at a lower octave.

You laughed and you somehow landed right where half your friend group was. He stops when he sees Kenickie’s date, and he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close while your arm was around his waist, not questioning a thing.

“‘Hara meet my date, Cha Cha.” Kenickie introduces him to her but he just shrugs and leans his head against yours.

“What’s up ‘Hara baby?” She says making you scoff but Miguel pulls you even closer to him.

“Who is she?” Doodie asked making Frenchy scoff as well.

“They call me Cha Cha because I’m the best dancer around.” She replies with a cocky smirk making you roll your eyes.

Great.

“With the worst reputation.” Frenchy mumbles making you and Sandy snicker.

He ignored her completely and lets go of you to grab your hand again, leading you back to the dance floor. “Do I wanna ask?” You mutter under your breath making him sigh.

“Ex…. Not girlfriend.. or fling.. we’ll go with dancing partner.” He says, stopping in the middle of the dance floor and pulls you close.

“Past is in the past.” He whispers and places his hands on your waist while yours wrapped behind his neck.

“I only care about my future with the girl I’m going steady with.” He adds and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“That’s good to hear.” You say relieved.

Not that you already didn’t trust his promising words to you but because you could tell she was trying to cause something. A reaction out of either of you which she didn’t get.

The song ended and the band stops until they play the next song which has everyone sprinting to make two straight lines, one for the girls and one for the boys.

The couple at the very end walk through the middle of both lines until they get to the other side by the stage and go to the front of the line meanwhile there’s another couple a few feet from them already dancing

Miguel made sure you were directly in front of him while the rest of the guys directed their girls next to you.

The first few couples you didn’t recognize but from your group was Kenickie and Cha Cha followed by Danny and Sandy. Then it was you and Miguel followed by Frenchy and Doodie.

Then it was Jan and Putzie with Sunny by himself behind them because Marty was too busy flirting it up with the host and uninterested in his flirty attempts towards her. And lastly it was Rizzo and her man.

The song ends and the assistant principal climbs up on stage and yells, “The Rydell fight song!!”

Suddenly the principal and coach make their way through the middle of the line and as they moved the lines disappeared because people were so bumped for the cameras to finally roll.

They climbed on stage and the band stops playing their music while everyone cheers. “When you are finished.” The principal says into a mic and everyone quickly quiets down.

“You will be happy to know I am not judging the dance contest.” She says and the loudest of cheers were immediately screamed from the whole gym.

The coach grins and tries to quiet everyone down, which works out because everyone loves him.

She then goes on what seems to be a lecture to be on the best behavior because national television and blah blah blah, it was going on one ear and directly out of the other, no one gave a shit.

Then finally she introduces Vince Fontaine who was a radio dj and somehow was judging this contest.

All the girls screamed and everyone’s looking around but he was nowhere to be seen until finally he heard his name and stopped flirting with Marty. He ran off from behind some float they had at the back of the gym and ran into the crowd.

Everyone bombarded him and the guys moved him forward, carrying him until he got to the front of the stage. Kenickie and Miguel lifted him up to the stage and he immediately started thrusting into the crowd.

The coach then explains the rules which included couples for some reason had to be boy-girl, if you’re tapped on the shoulder you have to leave the dance floor, and lastly no vulgar movements.

That for some reason had people looking, pointing, and laughing at Rizzo which you found weird and oddly specific they all thought of her but there was no time to question that.

Suddenly the professor from earlier runs on stage and says, “forty seconds.” then scrambled off.

Vince then took the mic and started hyping up the crowd and telling everyone to not worry about the cameras and to just be themselves.

Then the cameras are on and he puts on his professional voice when introducing the band then student body before the band starts playing Hound Dog and all hell breaks loose.

Everyone scrambled to be in a good position, dancing in sync while holding their partner by the waist or hand.

But they stopped as soon as Doodie spotted a camera and called it out making literally the entire floor to try to be at the very front of it.

Guys were carrying their girls up on their shoulders and everyone was waving or blowing kisses to the camera.

But some of the professors were demanding the guys to put the girls down and to get back to dancing again or they’d be disqualified.

Everyone went back to dancing when Miguel grabs your hand and leads you to the very front where all the cameras would be pointing towards.

You danced in front of it and you were glad your nerves didn’t come in otherwise this would’ve been a mess.

Miguel picked you up then spun you around before dancing back and forth to the music.

The camera moved along the front and captured everyone’s excited faces as the song was coming to its end.

One of the other cameras pointed to Vince and Patty and Marty that were on either side of him while they were in the back of the gym.

He hyped up the crowd once again before randomly asking, “Hey does everybody know Marty?”

The T Birds of course yelled that they did and all kinds of stupid things before she made faces at them forgetting just for a second that she was directly on frame.

The next song starts and so many couples were already out. All the couples were in sync with the little hand motions for this specific song and Vince was walking through, now able to look at every couple.

He started off with Kenickie, who was pretending he was slapping Cha Cha while she pretended she was getting hit before thrusting towards him with Kenickie behind him.

He walked away and looked at you and Miguel while you remained eye contact, not stopping from doing the hand jive like everyone else was doing.

He walked around some more before ending up with Marty but he got distracted by Doodie’s horrific dancing in front of him he had to tap his shoulder.

He then walked to the center of the floor where he found Rizzo and her man dancing, vulgarly. He was on his knees as if he was about to eat her out and she was thrusting back and forth.

Vince instantly tapped the man’s shoulder and walked away. Rizzo and her man walked off only for her man to walk past Cha Cha and thrust in front of her which only resulted in Kenickie to jump him.

He started throwing punches and they were thrown right back making the singer of the band shout, “break up, break up, what is that?!?”

Rizzo and Cha Cha tried to break it off but it was hard until Cha Cha led Kenickie back to the dance floor to stay center stage.

That was until there was a circle of the couples that were left and everyone had a chance to be in the middle to show off what they got. Some were of course vulgar because how could they not be?

Some were very impressive and others not so much.

Patty was at the very front with Tom when suddenly Kenickie runs then slides down to Patty before standing back up while lifting her dress up.

She ran away embarrassed and Kenickie dropped to the floor and started thrusting up which prompted the assistant principal to come up and yell at him. But right after someone picked her up and shook her up and down, taking her away.

Just then Miguel pulled you to the center and you started off with more synchronized dances you’d talked about during the week. Everyone cheered and by this point most of the couples were out which was a good sign.

That was until Sunny tried to be sneaky and pull you away from Miguel when you were skipping along behind him but you stepped on Sunny’s shoe and went back to Miguel quickly.

Cha Cha was about to swoop in and take Miguel but luckily you were faster and he grabbed your hand, never a doubt in your mind that he would have picked you over her.

He led you to the very middle and you started grabbing the ends of your dress, twirling it out while you both danced in sync. You used the entire circle that formed around you and ignored everyone besides each other.

Focusing on looking good and not fucking up any of the moves but it all went perfectly and smoothly.

The chemistry through the dances was intense and very clearly unmatched when the principal came down and handed you a plaque which made you cheer and grin at Miguel who had the widest smile yet.

He was so happy and if this wasn’t enough proof to show his growth and how he now didn’t give a shit about his reputation, he didn’t know what would be.

He twirled you around a couple times before giving you a big hug in front of everyone. There were loads of cheers and screams but you only focused on him and kind of just ignoring everything else.

As if you were the last two people standing and there weren’t so many eyes on you. Even the ones from the cameras in front of you.

He pulled away first and left a kiss on your forehead but then brought a hand to your chin, lifting it up before softly pecking your lips. Even louder screams erupted but you zoned them out.

Suddenly the lights turn off and everyone who was around you dispersed, while Blue Moon started to play. Someone grabbed your plaque and you didn’t even see who it was because your eyes were just locked on him.

He stuck his hand out and you grabbed it, you spun inward into him, grabbing his other hand earning some cheers because of how smooth it looked.

Miguel then led, moving you around swiftly, one hand holding yours and the other on your lower back. He spun you in a few circles before dropping you in to a dip which you knew you had to stick a leg out.

Louder cheers echoed through your ears when he picked you back up and spun you around again slowly.

Suddenly the younger trio of the T Birds jump in front of the main camera, their jackets covering their faces, they lean over and pull down their pants and boxers leaving them bare naked, showing their asses to the whole country.

Everyone laughed but you and Miguel didn’t notice, just continued with your dancing while the lighting person focused on their asses over you two, who had won the contest.

The dance ended as soon as that happened. The cameras cut. The lights were turned back on and the “Mooners” were already long gone.

You only noticed because as soon as the lights turned on Miguel grabbed you and ran off to the exit along with the rest of your friend group. Him, Danny, and Kenickie began smacking the other three T birds and scolding them for being dumbasses.

There was chaos all over the place because the professors were trying to see who had the audacity to singlehandedly ruin the university’s reputation further.

Practically everyone went to the drive in after the dance considering it ended so early and no one was trying to go home to their parents at 10pm.

It wasn’t too packed with cars until everyone from Rydell was piling in and parking in whatever spot they could get.

Given you and your friend group were the first ones to get to their designated cars at the uni parking lot and quickly knew where you’d all go to hang and luckily got decent spots.

The girls parked in the lane behind you and Miguel, and the guys were next to them. Luckily there was still enough space between lanes in case Miguel wanted to leave and there’d be no chance of accidents unless one of the T birds did something stupid, which was highly likely.

Kenickie came up to Miguel’s window to which he rolled it down, (because Miguel finally decided to have the top of his convertible back on) and he asks, “do you want some snacks or somethin’?”

Miguel turns to you and you shake your head making Kenickie nod. He leaned in close to the window prompting Miguel to lean in, assuming he had something to tell him.

You tried to mind your business, twiddling at the end of your dress, listening to the hums of the acapella group on the radio, looking straight ahead at the large screen displaying a zombie movie they always play.

Anything to not seem like you were snooping but somehow you didn’t hear a thing when Miguel suddenly scoffs, then laughs before waving Kenickie off.

Kenickie gave him a wide grin before walking away, most likely off with the rest of the gang making you wonder what on earth just happened.

He didn’t say anything and only wrapped his right arm over your shoulder while he rolled his window up but left a tiny bit of space to at least hear the movie.

But that wasn’t top priority in his head.

Top priority was something he’s been thinking about for ages.

A long while since those days you had spent together at the beach.

And what better time to follow through with his dirty ideas than now?

So he brought his hand lower, inching closer and closer to just full on grope your right breast. You could almost sense a change in the air and that was confirmed when his hand didn’t stop it’s movements and indeed did grope you. “Miguel!” You squealed and he laughed before leaning his head down to kiss your neck.

You bit your lip as he squeezed your breast softly but left quite a mark on you. “I-It’s the way we just got here Miguel-“ you stammer as he hums against your skin, sending shivers all throughout your body.

“Do you really care about the damn movie darling?” He murmurs making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Well….”

“That’s what I thought.” He teases and pulls away, now looking at you directly.

“Now.. I had something in mind for tonight.” He says softly before taking his arm off you too.

“And what would that be?” You ask and tilt your head to the side.

What was he plotting?

“Maybe going all the way?” He suggests and you widen your eyes.

“Here?” You ask, making him nod as you laughed.

“You gotta be joking right?” You say and he shakes his head.

“Do you think I’m joking?” He murmurs before going back to kissing your neck.

You breathe in and squeeze your legs together, this man cannot be serious.

“You don’t have tinted windows-” You say but interrupt yourself with a moan leaving your mouth as his right hand went back to groping your right breast.

“Don’t worry, no one’s watching.” He murmurs nonchalantly but it didn’t make you feel any better.

“You have perverted friends Mig, be serious!!” You laugh making him snort.

“Do you want me to remind you how we met-“ he teases, making you groan.

“Fuck-“ you curse and realize it’s practically the same thing.

“This is sort of different- there’s actually people around.” You mumble.

“Kenickie will put ‘em in check and look around this is a hot spot.” He mutters and you could only hum.

It was true.

People wouldn’t exactly be peeking because they were most likely busy themselves.

And you’ve been needing him to fuck you…

So why not after he proved himself to you?

You lightly nod and he grins, “was an offer you couldn’t refuse huh?”

His teasing only made you roll your eyes but he was right. After practically dreaming of it for so long, how could you not?

And after such an overall amazing night, why not?

“You’re such a horn dog you know that?” you tease and he shrugs.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it.” he murmurs and pecks your lips.

he slowly brought his hand down, just placing it on your thigh and inching lower so he can bring his hand under your dress. “you looked so beautiful tonight.” he murmurs making you sigh.

“you don’t look too bad either.” you teased as you pulled your dress up for him and his hand started squeezing your thigh.

“gonna have to only use my hands because the car’s a bit small..” he murmured and you just nodded, “it’s fine.”

you spread your legs apart, putting your left leg on top of his right and his hand makes it way down, reaching your inner thigh, “y’know i had a whole plan for this, after a nice date, maybe some rose petals and candles…”

“changed your mind?” you asked and he shook his head.

his hand went up until it touched the waistband of your panties and whispered, “you just look too fucking good, i got impatient.”

you felt your face grow warm and you looked at him, a sparkle in your eyes and a sweet smile on your face, “so romantic.”

he fought back a smile but seeing your pretty face, he couldn’t help but smile along with you. “our second time can be special.”

you chuckle and shrug, “this is more like us.”

he grins, leaning in and letting his head rest against yours while his hand went down, now over your clothed pussy. he lightly rubs your clit with two fingers, feeling you relax as you lay your head on his shoulder. “it’s felt like ages since the last time.” he whispered and you let out a sigh.

“a whole month.” you whined, making him groan, “a month and three days.”

“someone’s keeping track.” you tease then let out a moan when he starts to rub your clit faster.

“that’s it.. let me hear you doll, i’ve missed you.” he purrs and you hold onto his arm, bucking your hips up to grind against his fingers.

“missed your touch baby.” you whisper earning yourself a moan from him.

“let’s never go this long again.” he mumbles and you quickly nod.

“it’s been torture.. but maybe worth it.” you say and he hums, “whys that?”

you tilt your head up to look at him and he looks down at you, “because it’s gonna feel so good when you’re finally inside me…”

he takes a deep breath and you move your left hand, putting it on his thigh then slowly trailing it up, “you’re actually going to kill me.”

“and you are too with how slow you’re movin’” you whine, making him scoff.

“sorry for trying to set the mood.” he says fake defensively and gives you a pout.

“mood is set, c’mon we’re doing this.” you say, moving your panties to the side with your right hand.

“yes ma’am.” he says and brings his right hand to his mouth.

he sucks on two fingers just for your viewing pleasure then gathers his saliva onto them to ensure you’re nice and wet whether you already are or not. he then pulls them away and a string of saliva connects his finger and his tongue making your brain turn to mush.

he looked so fucking good. he had no business looking so hot doing something so dirty.

he then brought his hand down between your legs again and let his fingers rub gently against your folds. your pool of slick and his wet fingers combined together, perfect for the idea in his head.

his fingers go to tease your entrance for a solid two seconds before actually slipping them inside. your walls immediately clenched against them and you moved your hand higher until you felt his bulge. he opened his mouth to complain when you suddenly started to stroke him through his pants — you both moaned, unable to hide how good it feels.

you’d only just begun but felt like you’d be able to come fast just because it was finally him touching you. you weren’t relying on your own fingers after a month and it was surreal.

it was like his touch ignited something in you that only he was able to do. you usually felt it when he held your hand or waist but this time it was stronger.

you stroked him faster as he pumped his fingers deeper, still keeping a slow pace. he was paying close attention to the wet noises, it was like music to his ears. you were slightly distracting him but he was luckily good at multitasking.

you attempted to undo his pants with one hand but struggling miserably so he helped you with his left hand. he stood up the tiniest bit just to pull his pants down over his ass and kept them by his thighs.

he went back to focusing on the pace he set but as your stroking was starting off fast, he matched your pace instead. your eyes fluttered and you laid your head against his shoulder again to be more comfortable.

you let out some deep breaths, already on the verge of asking him for more but knowing he’d make you wait. he on the other hand thought you’d need this and didn’t want to be too pushy or accidentally be too greedy so he figured he’d stretch you out with his fingers.

you let out quiet moans as you slipped your hand inside his boxers and take it out. his cock springs up and you quickly take hold of it, leaning over to spit on it then stroke it. he groans as you went back to your previous position and pumps his fingers faster, “fuck baby-“

“feels too good-“ you murmured, making him grunt, “yeah? feel good doll?”

you nod and grind your hips up, “need more.”

“you sure?” he asks and you eagerly nod.

“please.” you murmur, and he practically melts.

he slips his fingers out of you and you quickly let him go as he motions for you to get on top, “c’mere, c’mere.”

cock already out and ready for you, you nod and sit up, swinging your right leg over until you’re straddling his lap. you grab the ends of your dress and bring it up to your stomach, “hey, we’re gonna take this slow okay?” he says as you hover over him.

you pout and he just brings a hand to your face, softly stroking your cheek with his thumb, “don’t worry, i won’t keep you waiting too long.”

“better not, been waiting three months.” you whine and he pouts, “you have been so patient huh, baby?”

you bit your lip and nod, “slip it in and take your time.” he murmurs as you lift yourself up and line his cock up to your entrance.

just the tip teasing it alone was insane. after all you’re both finally getting what you’ve been craving the most.

“fuck please.” you whine as his tip slips to the side because you were extremely drenched.

he then helps you and you slowly feel it going in. you gasp and cover your hand over your mouth, “oh fuck-!”

“shhh, you have to be quiet baby, I don’t want these perverts to hear how good my girl sounds for me.” he says, making you whimper. you’ll never get tired of hearing that.

you then grip onto to his shoulders as his hands are on your waist, patiently. you slide down and more whimpers erupt from your mouth.

he was so thick.

maybe it was a good thing he fingered you first otherwise you would not have been anywhere near prepared.

“take your time baby.” he whispers and you nod.

you straighten yourself up and just stay like that, only having the tip inside, to get use to it. after a few seconds you feel fine and slide down some more slowly. you both moan and his grip on your waist tightens.

“miguel please just fuck me.” you whine and he shakes his head.

“I need you to get use to it before I do.” he says, making you groan.

“need you.” you whine and he shakes his head again.

“you’re doing so good already baby, just keep going until you can fit it all.” he murmurs and you sigh.

you know he desperately wants to fuck you, and you want the same but he also didn’t want to hurt you. he wanted it to be completely enjoyable for you so he thought having you take it in cowgirl was a good start because you had full control.

“c’mon baby, you can do it.” he murmurs as you pull yourself up then right back down.

you were able to take a tiny bit more but it was still a lot. you already felt so full and you were probably about halfway. this was a problem you never thought you’d have but apparently anything can happen.

“just like that angel, doing so good for me.” he purrs and look down at your pussy slowly taking him in.

it was quite the sight. he wasn’t so sure how he had been able to control himself around you because you were both horny people but somehow kept your hands off each other. mostly just to not rely on sexual things for your relationship.

it helped. your relationship had been thriving but now it was finally time to go all the way.

“i didn’t think i’d need to fucking practice.” you whined, earning yourself a laugh from him.

“baby you’ve got eyes, you already knew.” he murmurs and you shrug.

you lower yourself down, now feeling pleasure over slight pain so you full on sat on his lap, his length fully inside you now. you both moaned and his fingers dug into your skin, “so perfect baby-“

“so big..” you murmured and leaned your head forward towards his.

he moans and that’s when you decide to start moving. you pulled yourself up then bounced your ass down until you could feel him all inside you. “fucking shit- fuck baby.. gonna make me come so quick, just so tight.”

your eyes lit up with his words and your gummy walls clenched against him, making him twitch. he took a breather and pulled your hips up then helped you go down. he helped you for a few more minutes until you got the hang of it and began doing it yourself.

he watched you in absolute awe. he never thought he’d gain feelings for someone, let alone such strong ones that filled his every waking thought. and those feeling always seemed to keep him up at night as well.

he didn’t realize how badly he needed you like this until he looked down to watch how your pussy took his cock in. it’s exactly what he’s been desperately needing.

and it was like he fit perfectly inside you, like a missing puzzle piece. like you belonged together.

he thought it was enough teasing for the night so he quickly grabbed you tightly as you wrapped your legs around his waist. he then sat up before bringing your body down so you could lay down whilst still inside you.

“you ready?” he asks and you nod.

without another word he starts to properly fuck you, pulling your legs back which had you thinking to hold on to them so you did.

his thrusts were fast and messy, already feeling he could explode because you felt incredible. he swore he’s never felt pleasure this god-like until he met you.

he could’ve sworn you amplified the feeling when you touched him. it was all he could ever ask for in life, someone who drove him crazy in more ways than one.

your eyes fluttered shut as he relentlessly thrusted into you, the sweet melody of your moans filled his ears and it was the only noises he’d ever need.

“fuck miguel- god- filling me up so good.” you moaned and he swore he could feel himself twitch already.

“gonna fill you up alright..” he murmurs and holds onto the back of your thighs to help stable himself.

you moaned his name and watch how he fucked you to perfection. the way your pussy took his cock in was mesmerizing and if was such a pretty view. it was all you had been wanting and you finally got it, and it was better than anything you could’ve imagined.

he lowered himself down until he got right in front of your face and he starts going harder while he leaned down to kiss you. you instantly kissed back, moaning in his mouth with nearly every thrust.

he slid his tongue into your mouth and explored every crevice as you brought your hands up to his hair. you run your fingers through it, messing up his style just because you needed something to play with.

you tugged on them, making him moan into your mouth which just had you grinning ear to ear. you pulled away and he went down to your neck, kissing and licking every inch he could before he sucked a love bite into your skin, “fuck mig- p-please don’t stop-“ you whimpered out and he took your words to heart.

his thrusts were now the perfect combination of fast and hard, making sure you’d let out any and all the noises your heart desired. the car was moving back and forth and you could only pray that everyone around you was doing the same.

“too fucking perfect doll- god you’re amazing-“ he murmurs against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

he pulled away from your neck and looks into your eyes as he feels himself already getting closer to the edge. you could feel him twitch inside you again but this time it was enough for you to clench against him. he swore under his breath then watched your face perfectly.

your eyes were fighting hard to stay open and he was having a hard time keeping it together. but with each passing thrust he felt you getting close to the edge along with him. your face contorted and he knew you wouldn’t be able to lie so he fucked his hips into your repeatedly, desperate to cum.

he felt his orgasm building and he looked at you with pure joy in his eyes, well it was more of something else that he had never felt before, and there was no better time to admit it than now, “I love you.”

you snapped out of your hazy world and blinked, wondering if you really just heard that. his eyes were wide and his cheeks flushed into a pretty red color while you remained speechless. his thrusts were going deeper and you were glad he didn’t stop, otherwise you were going to assume this was all a dream.

you brought a hand up to his cheek, slight tears welling in your eyes as you smiled, “I love you.”

he grinned, tears threatening to fall out of his as well because he was just filled with so much love. so much love that he didn’t think was possible to feel.

you single-handedly changed him and had gotten him wrapped around your finger. the best part was he didn’t mind one bit.

right at that moment you both reached your orgasms and sealed the magic words with a loving kiss that you didn’t want to pull away from. he spilled his load as deep as he could go as you shook beneath him, holding onto him for dear life as he kissed you softly.

he slowed down and let you ride out your highs as you continued your sweet, sloppy kiss with tears running down both your cheeks. he pulled away, bringing a hand up to wipe them away while you did the same to his.

you let out a choked laugh, feeling so happy like you were on top of the world. he smiled and gave you a peck before pulling out of you then getting off you.

you fixed your panties then pulled your dress down as miguel helped you sit up then pulled you into his arms. you embraced him and cling onto him tightly to ensure he’s real. once you heard him let out an exaggerated cough, you knew he was.

and now there was no doubt in your mind that you made the right decision. that you were right to forgive him. and that you were truly, madly, hopelessly in love with miguel o’hara.

#across the spiderverse #miguel ohara #miguel ohara imagine #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel ohara smut #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel o hara #spider man 2099 #miguel ohara oneshot #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara x you #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara x reader #kinktober #kinktober 2024

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ak-vintage · 9 months ago

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Quarry (Series Masterlist)

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x f!reader

Summary: Din Djarin is on what he expects to be his last bounty hunt for Greef Karga. However, after capturing a wanted starship engineer who would rather go anywhere other than “home,” the Mandalorian is forced to reassess his priorities.

Your taste of freedom had been brief but glorious. Now you are a prisoner of the most infamous bounty hunter in the Outer Rim – it’s only a matter of time before he turns you in. There isn’t much you would not do to keep from being sent home, but as you find yourself growing closer to your captor and his strange little companion, you start to wonder whether escape is really what you want.

Set immediately following Chapter 13: The Jedi.

Tags & Warnings: 18+ MDNI, slow burn romance, minimal descriptors of reader character, no use of Y/N, dual POV, canon-typical violence, sexual tension, angst, mutual pining, SMUT (Each chapter will have specific warnings, please check them before reading!)

Status: COMPLETE

Read on AO3

Main Story

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 - Part 1 Chapter 9 - Part 2 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Epilogue - NEW! 12/5/24

Oneshots

Coming soon...

#din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #din djarin smut #pedro pascal characters

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fir-fireweed · 19 days ago

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Phenomenal story from start to finish! I started crying at Chapter 10 (it was my first time reading this chapter) and continued crying to the epilogue. I truly love all the characters. They all shine brightly in their own ways. I have a soft spot for Bear.

I chose Heron and the rebellion ending for my first playthrough. I love him and this ending so much. I need to read the escape ending. Then I plan to read Lion's, Robin's, and Ferret's routes.

Thank you for sharing Viatica with us. I love it and am looking forward to your next story!

You’re welcome! I’m so glad you enjoyed it, especially Papa Bear. ❤️ I hope you enjoy all the routes. I know chapter 10 hits like a ton of bricks so thanks for persevering and reading beyond that, lol.

Happy holidays!

#interactive fiction #writing #viatica #twine if #completed wip #the infamous chapter 10

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futuremrscameron · 24 days ago

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body favors | masterlist <3

✩ pairing: rafe cameron x singer!reader

✩ summary: up and cooking pop star and former producer y/n goes viral after being spotted with infamous hothead rich boy rafe cameron and dropping her debut single that may or may not be about him (it is).

✩ ongoing

✩ characters’ profiles

✩ the prologue

✩ chapter 1

✩ chapter 2

✩ chapter 3

✩ chapter 4

✩ chapter 5

✩ chapter 6

✩ chapter 7

✩ chapter 8

✩ chapter 9

✩ chapter 10

✩ chapter 11

✩ chapter 12

✩ chapter 13

✩ chapter 14

✩ chapter 15

✩ chapter 16

✩ chapter 17

✩ chapter 18

✩ chapter 19

✩ chapter 20

✩ chapter 21

✩ chapter 22

✩ chapter 23

✩ chapter 24

✩ chapter 25

✩ chapter 26

✩ chapter 27

✩ chapter 28

✩ chapter 29

✩ chapter 30

✩ chapter 31

✩ chapter 32

✩ chapter 33

✩ chapter 34

✩ chapter 35

✩ chapter 36

✩ chapter 37

✩ chapter 38

✩ chapter 39

✩ chapter 40

✩ chapter 41

✩ chapter 42

✩ chapter 43

✩ chapter 44

✩ chapter 45

✩ chapter 46

✩ chapter 47

✩ chapter 48

✩ chapter 49

✩ chapter 50

✩ chapter 51

✩ chapter 52

✩ chapter 53

✩ chapter 54

✩ chapter 55

✩ chapter 56

✩ chapter 57

✩ chapter 58

✩ chapter 59

✩ chapter 60

#body favors masterlist #rafe x black reader #song based fic #obx au #body favors smau #rafe cameron x black!reader #fic based on a song #outer banks smau #body favors au #rafe x black!reader #obx smau #masterlist #rafe cameron x black reader #outer banks au #rafe cameron x black oc

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kosmosguk · 6 months ago

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Lineage (M) | Special Chapter: How It Began

Pairing: Duke Yoongi x Princess Reader

Word Count: 4.4K

Summary: When an engagement locks you, the 8th and forgotten princess, to the duke infamous for his cruelty, you find yourself counting the days until your inevitable death. It’s terrifying to think of your end, but when you arrive at his territory, you realize there’s a more morbid reason behind your marriage, and that the duke is much worse than the rumors have painted him out to be. But many years before the events of Lineage's main story takes place, there was once only the love of a beloved goddess and a damned demon.

Warnings: HEAVY yandere themes, death, gore and death, near-death experiences, obsessive behaviors, manipulation, mentions of smut, 18+, explicit language

A/N: Surprise, everyone! It's been, what, 4 years since I finished Lineage and 3 years since I stopped writing on this blog. I've been through a lot of ups and downs in the meantime (to underplay it), but I'm now in a pretty good spot. I've thought about writing this for years and there's probably at least 10 incomplete versions of this on my old laptop, but writer's slump was a huge barrier. It wasn't until a conversation with a roommate who had complained that a fic she liked was never fully fully complete that I thought about trying again, from scratch, to complete this part for Lineage. Lineage will always be my baby, and on a reread of it to prepare to write this chapter, the me of the past did do better than expected (probably better than the me of today). I don't know if any of my original readers are still here from the days when I was active on this blog, but even if it's just one, I hope I brought this story alive just a little longer. Will I write the epilogue though (which also has 10+ incomplete drafts)? We'll see :) Hopefully it won't take another 4 years!

A beautiful clearing stretched on underneath the heat of a sun that always remained warm. It was green and lush, but void of any budding blooms. There were bits of dried flowers that showed that there might have been flowers once, which had blossomed as quick back then as rain drops fell from the sky. This clearing was eternal, and it could only be changed by the touch of a being blessed by the divine or damned by the evil.

A man, cloaked in black, bent down into the clearing. There was only one more bloom now that still remained, a reminder of a time that seemed distant and far. It was hard to pick out from the shadows that spread from his feet, but he restrained the shadows until the yellow flower could tentatively peek out through the green.

It was time now. He could bring her back. She would fill this clearing with flowers again like she did before, and she would laugh as he clumsily wove together a crown from them.

He plucked the flower out of the grass and pressed it against his lips tenderly. It shriveled and dried up, leaving a colorless husk. He let it flutter out of his grasp and looked up at the sun for the first time in his existence.

"I will bring you back," he promised then. His voice sounded like he had not spoken in many years. He pulled out his sword and pierced it into the grass, watching the green shrivel into gray.

In the glint of his sword, there was a reflection of a young maiden, her fists kneading against a ball of dough. When she moved slightly, nudging the hair off of her shoulders, a hint of red was seen on her skin.

You were born in a field of flowers, blooming beautifully underneath a sky lit with gold. The daughter of the God of Life and the Goddess of Creation, you were beloved by all beings who relied on the earth to live. You, who had lived under the protection of all who was Good, were woefully ignorant of the true darkness of those who lived in the shadows of Evil.

But then on a peaceful day, not unlike the day you had been born, you realized then how easy it was for Evil to creep into the realm of the Good.

“Wake up, my goddess!”

You flinched, peeking your eyes open to the Fairy of Tulips pulling the hem of your tunic with her small fists. “I am sleeping, Little Tulip. Only official orders will wake me.”

The sun was warm against your skin, and the clarity of your mind was still soft from the blurry haze of sleep. Though deities had little need for sleep, your habit of naps was known far and wide through the Creators’ realm. You tried to close your eyes again, nestling back into the bed of grass, and brush her off your clothes, but she clung onto your palm, chomping on your thumb. You yelped, now wide awake.

She squinted down at you, fluttering up off your palm, and placed her hands on her hips, the sunrise tulip petals adorning her body swaying in her frenzy. “The flowers have been murmuring that there’s evil nearby! We have to leave. Now!”

You laughed. Evil? Evil had not existed in this realm for many eons, after the War ended with victory of the Good. But when the little fairy’s expression didn’t show a hint of amusement and the muttering of the flowers around you remained, you frowned and pushed yourself up to stand.

“If you are certain of evil, then I will bring myself to check it out. It would not do any of us good if I left the situation unchecked, as we are by the border of the realm.” You stepped forward, flowers blooming underfoot to soften your path. The little fairy tugged at your clothes, hoping to stop you, but you kept walking further away from the clearing you had been lazing in towards the forest by it. Instead of the welcoming lush green that usually greeted you, the forest was coated in darkness.

When the muttering of the flowers pitched in volume, you knew you were getting close. You placed your hands out, ready to call for nature’s aid if the situation called for it. However, instead of some vile creature looming over you with venom oozing from its pores, a young man laid in the midst of the darkness. A closer look prompted a gasp to leave your lips. He was beautiful, more beautiful than any deity you had ever seen, and if you had not been entrenched in shadows, you could have been fooled to believe him holy. But the oozing black blood from the wound on his side and his eyes, which flickered open to glower at you, were a startling red.

He scooted back, his free hand falling to the blade by him.

“I will not hurt you!” you spoke before you could process the thought, mesmerized by the sight of his eyes. You showed him your hands. Your eyes dropped to the curve of his lips, which if it had not been pulled in a sneer would have been lush and have softened his features. “I am a healer and a grower, not a killer.”

His expression decreased in hostility. You hesitatingly asked: “Is it alright if I come close? You can keep your sword by you, and if I do anything unpleasant, I will understand if you slay me but...” You teetered for a moment. “But if you kill me, I cannot ensure your safety and that would be bad for you and me. Me because I would be dead and you because you would also be dead and...”

You were interrupted by a laugh. Your eyes flickered back to him. He looked startled at the sound he had made, and you smiled brightly in response. You took a step closer. When he did not tense, you dropped to your knees and raised your palm over his side. You lifted your gaze to meet his, and both of you sat in an entranced silence, staring at the other. His eyes dropped to your lips, though there was still a guarded look to him, and you held your breath.

“Do you want me to put my hand down?”

“What?” you sputtered. Oh. Heat burned at your cheeks as you noticed the playful tug of his lips. You nodded quickly. He must have thought you were amusing. You focused back on healing, and you would leave and tell Little Tulip to not say a word. You vowed that you would never see this brute, who enjoyed your embarrassment, again.

When he dropped his hand, you called your healing power, but the unpleasant quirk of your lips increased the time it took to fully heal his wound. When the flesh closed over the wound, you leapt back to your feet. You felt foolish, very unlike the noble and dignified deity you were supposed to be.

“I am going now. I will not tell a soul about you. You do not need to thank me, but I will tell you that you must not wander into this realm again. I guarantee that the next deity you meet will not be as forgiving as me and...”

Your lips pinched together when you felt his touch around your wrist. He pulled your hand down, and lifted his head to kiss the inside of your palm. You flinched at the press of his lips on your skin. He looked up at you, mistrust no longer in his eyes. “You are my savior. May I not be able to see you anymore?”

You dropped your gaze from his. If he heeded your words and you no longer saw him again, would the emptiness in you at the thought grow more and more?

“Only here,” your voice was but above a whisper. “If I see your shadows in the woods, I will come find you. But you must not come find me.”

He was silent for a second. “You are as cruel as you are kind, my goddess.”

He still had not let go of your hand and though his touch was cold, you felt fire licking up where his fingers made contact with your skin. You pulled your hand back like he had scalded you and spun on your heel, flowers having barely enough time to bloom underneath your bare feet with the quickness that you fled.

When you left the woods, your feet scratched up for the first time in your existence and your cheeks red, you could only force yourself to squeeze out a sentence at the quivering little fairy: “There was no evil.”

Your encounters with him continued, in secret and away from prying eyes. You talked about your visits to the human world: the songs you had heard and how you wished you could have danced and the loaves of bread you spotted cooling on the tables. You even talked about how your duties burdened you, though you were made to fulfill them, and how you felt like you were only able to handle them out of love for your humans. He talked about the books he had picked up in the human world, how he had found them meager and naïve at first and then interesting, and the little lake of lava he had grown up by and skipped rocks in. Though he spoke very little, when he did, you were captured by him.

And with the increase of encounters, your feelings of love, which you had reserved for only the creations that had been blessed by the hands of the Creators, grew. You let him hold you close to his chest, and when you laid your head on his flesh, you swore you could almost hear a heart beat quicker and quicker.

On your seventh encounter, when you had brought a basket of flowers into the woods to weave into crowns, you had placed one on his head. When he reached out into your basket and pulled out a handful of flowers, you watched him clumsily weave the flowers together and place the lopsided crown on your head. How could this man, as tender and clumsy as he was, be evil?

When he looked dejected at the sight of the crown limply hanging onto your head, you laughed and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. You had seen your lovely humans do this to express their adoration. And it was accurate to the moment: you adored him, to the point where you could ignore where his origins had laid root in.

Immediately, his hands reached up around your waist and pressed you close until you were on his lap. You gasped against his lips, and his tongue was in your mouth, delving into its depths. You burned underneath his exploration, your hands clenching onto his clothes into fists. Oh, you had never known pleasure like this, so unlike the simpleminded happiness you felt watching the trees hum in the wind and your humans create art. This pleasure was different: it blazed hotly, burning down trees and creating destruction in its path.

When the two of you were separated, your eyes blurred in a haze, he brushed his finger over the plumpness of your bottom lip, soaked in the mixture of saliva. His eyes were filled with anguish, but for what, you did not know. “My name is Yoongi.”

You let out a startled gasp at this. Oh. Oh no. You knew this name. You pushed away from him and onto your feet, flinging an arm out to point at him. “You are the Demon God. You...!”

He was on his feet now, his hands reaching out to grab onto you. But you were inconsolable, banging your fists on his chest. Fire burned before your gaze, glimpses of your beloved humans hopelessly shielding their children from horrible monsters that would tear them apart and consume their remains. You knew those screams. You could hear them even now.

“You are the one to harm my beloved humans! I have seen your creations rise up, full of evil and malice. I have seen them destroy and terrorize and kill-!”

He held your hands to his chest, pressing your fists against where his heart would have been had he been human. The fight drained out of you, as you laid limply in his embrace, tears wetting the fabric of his clothes. His voice was ragged as he spoke. “I am full of evil, my goddess. I was full of evil. I admit, I who had been wandering in darkness did not know good. But you, who could have slain me, showed me good when you saved me. I can be good for you, as long as you do not leave me. You hold my pitiful existence in your hands.”

He reached up a hand to touch the flower crown. The crown disintegrated underneath his touch, leaving bits of ashes. “You see, whatever I touch, I destroy. But with you, I can control this damned ability of mine. I can see reason.” He swallowed heavily. “I can see you. And when I see you, I see all that is good. I can see the flowers that you love to smell and out of all of them, you love lilies the most. I can see that you love humans, though they pillage and lie and kill. I can see why all beings seek the warmth of the day and fear the coldness of night.”

You looked up at him. You could only see the redness of his eyes then. But beneath it, there was a being who you were certain loved you. And you loved him, as much as you loved your humans. He, who was evil, was nothing more than a creation led astray.

“I am sorry,” you finally whispered, a stray tear slipping down your cheek. “I...You will have to give me time.”

When you pushed yourself away from him, this time for good, you walked away.

When he saw that you had left without even a look back at him, he looked up as a large crow flew down. When it landed, it transformed into that of a handsome man with narrow eyes and bronzed skin and cheeks that would have revealed a dimple had he been a smiler.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi spoke, “Keep an eye on her for me. I will leave to deal with the issues of the Demon Realm.”

Namjoon nodded his head and hummed in agreement. “I will. A favor for a friend.”

Yoongi laughed. “Your associations with humans have made you more like them. A demon has no need for friends. In our existence, there are those who lead, and those who follow.”

Namjoon turned his head to look at where the little goddess had been. “And how would you describe her: a leader or a follower?”

Yoongi’s hands clenched briefly, like he could still feel her warmth, and his eyes were still pinned to where she had been. “She is holy. Holier than my damned existence. And yet I still want to monopolize her and make her look only at me.”

“So then?” Namjoon asked again. “How would you categorize her?”

Yoongi remained silent for a moment. Then, he vanished, leaving Namjoon alone in the forest. Namjoon thought to himself then: what about this little goddess captured the attention of a demon that had been damned from the beginning?

Namjoon kept a careful eye on the goddess. Though on the surface, it was due to orders from his liege, he could not help the insatiable curiosity about her. She was kind—though kindness was not much familiar to a demon like him. She certainly loved those humans, as foolish and terrible they were. And when she watched a wedding, there was a certain sadness lingering in her eyes that captured him.

And so, as Yoongi remained away from her side, Namjoon found himself fixated on this presence.

He had been following her in a crow form when he was caught by the pudgy hands of some kid who was little more than the neighborhood bully. The kid had thrown him onto the ground and menacingly reached down to start plucking at his feathers. He had thought about growing back into a fierce snake, who could rear up to bite the human that dared to grab him and leave him on the verge of death, when a voice cried out.

“Leave that bird alone!”

The child bully looked up, prepared to viciously attack the person who dared to interrupt his fun time, but swallowed his words at the sight of the glowering adult. The little goddess had taken on the form of a muscular man, with biceps that bulged like the size of a boulder, and the kid had been too flustered to come up with a retort. Instead, the kid dropped Namjoon’s bird form and sped off.

When the muscular man shifted back into the form of the little goddess, Namjoon watched as you ran up to him and lifted him up to inspect him. “Oh, I am so glad you were not harmed! I love those humans, but I do not particularly enjoy it when they decide to hurt other innocent beings.” You squinted down at him with analytical eyes. Namjoon gulped, fearing that you would have caught onto the true self that lingered underneath the disguise. “Do you think I was too mean by taking on that scary form, right?”

Namjoon shook his head, forgetting that birds should not have understood the human language. But you laughed like this was to be expected, and Namjoon felt silly: of course, animals like birds would understand the words of this goddess. “Good! Well, I will let you be now, little guy. Try to be more careful, so you will not get caught again. You are a handsome bird, with very beautiful feathers. There are many humans who would catch you just to capture your feathers.”

Namjoon puffed up in pleasure. Of course, he was beautiful. He was a high-ranking demon. This crow form was nothing for him. If anything, he was the most handsome crow out of all the crows that occupied the human realm. He squinted his eyes. What was he even thinking?

In his agitation, he fluttered his wings and flapped away, ignoring the tinkling sound of laughter that she made when he almost rammed into a tree branch.

When Yoongi returned and had asked Namjoon on how his goddess had fared without seeing him, Namjoon could not help the zip of pleasure that ran through him when he had answered that she had been more than fine, and Yoongi had glowered in response.

Namjoon then understood why Yoongi had been unable to answer him when he had asked which category the little goddess had occupied. She was neither a leader nor a follower. Her existence itself was a source of contentment, of happiness that destroyed the boundary between who was meant to control and who was meant to be controlled.

There were many creations that were beautiful. And there were few creations that were both beautiful and kind. But beautiful and kind creations never lived long.

You loved most the most beautiful and kind of the humans: a young girl who had lived as a daughter of a baron. You had chanced upon her on one of your visits, watching her help the poor though her family itself had little means, and when she had begged for help from a deity to help save her from her plight, you had been listening to her pleas that she not be sold to the vicious king that ruled over her kingdom.

You did something that you reserved for only your most favorite humans: you appeared in front of her. When you had offered her a way to avoid the favor of the king—a bell that would turn her into a bird that could fly out of the king’s grasp—she had laid on the ground and kissed your feet in joy.

But word of the goddess that appeared with the golden bell spread far and wide. And when you entered the human realm, wanting to see how that human girl was faring, you were soon captured by the king’s army. When you were lead to the throne room, your hands wrapped in chains, you were distraught at the sight of your most favorite human pointing at you.

“This is the goddess!” she declared. She turned to the king, who looked like a walking corpse with sallow skin and hollow cheeks underneath the gold and silk he wore. “Your majesty, I implore you to remember our deal. For her capture, you will let go of my parents and give us enough gold to revitalize our land and tend to our people.”

Oh, though she had betrayed you so, you felt a rush of pride. Betrayal for a good reason, you could tolerate, for you loved her so. But the king had merely raised his hand, and a knight rushed forward with a fell swoop of his sword. When her head, bloody, fell in front of you, you let out a ragged cry.

The king knelt down in front of you, a blade in his hand. You flinched as he wielded the knife...and sliced his palm open. He reached up to cup your cheek, smearing his blood on your flesh. “I heard tears from a goddess could cure all wounds.”

He lifted his palm back and watched with awe as the wound on his palm closed up. His eyes glowed with a sick greed. “Then it must be true. That the blood of a goddess can cure all ailment. You know, I had this knife brought to me for this very moment when I first heard the legends. It is made of a terrible evil capable of killing good. You should know that I was granted this knife from the Demon God himself after I sacrificed many peasants.”

He raised the knife and sliced your palm. You felt pain for the first time in your existence, but even more hurtful, you felt anguish bite at what might have been your heart. Gold ichor spilled out of your wound, and he hastily bent down to drink your blood. Color returned to his cheeks at once. You watched in disgust and horror as he laughed with glee. He sobered up, looking down at you. His eyes glittered with the remnants of the sickness that had imprisoned him so.

“Then it must be true. That the sacrifice of a goddess can fulfill any wish, a wish that would last for all of time. Your death can bring anyone back to life. For with your death, life will follow. I will be able to see my wife then.” He lifted the knife, and you were silent as he brought it down in a fell swoop. The blade pierced the flesh above your clavicle, but not a sound of pain left your lips. You pinched them together, even as your body collapsed on the cold floor.

You thought of Yoongi then. You wanted to let him know that you forgave him, for his deceit and for how he had tricked your beloved humans. But you were no longer capable of doing so. You were bleeding out on this floor, just like any other mortal that you had loved. You hoped that the Creators would not hurt the humans who had harmed you. There were many you had loved. And you knew that the Creators loved them even more so.

You saw a flash of red in front of your blurry gaze. A voice called your name, begging. You had never heard a voice that despaired like this voice did. You wondered, for a moment, why it sounded like Yoongi. Something wet splashed onto your skin, the sound of a crackle and a pop following. Ah, the tears of a demon, unlike the tears of a god, caused pain. But you did not feel any pain, not now. Ah, it was Yoongi.

You wanted to tell him that you loved him, that you saw good in him, that even when you were not around he could still be good. But your time, which had seemed to stretch on infinitely before, was now finite, limited by a few seconds left.

You whispered, gasping out short little breaths between the words. “I...forgive...all.”

“Wake...!” you heard.

And then you could speak no longer. And you could hear no longer.

The end of the realms was imminent. Underneath the grief of the ruler of the demon realm, fires roared and overtook earth. Soon, once earth was taken and destroyed, rage would spread and bring all that existed down to the burning afterworld.

The God of Life could not stand by and witness the end of all that he had created. When he had found himself in front of the Demon God, he had been prepared for the sword that the Demon God had pointed at his chest.

“You...! She is your daughter, and you wish me to spare the lives of the humans who...!” The Demon God had screamed in anguish. He laughed then, the sound ironic and cruel. "I know you beings are both cruel and kind. For if she had been less kind, she would have been less cruel, choosing her love of humans over...over our love."

The God of Life loved all he created very much. And he had loved his daughter, who had sprung forth from the love he had with his wife, very much as well. But as the Giver of Life, he was unable to upset the balance of the world he had created, not when the balance was so fragile. He could not bring his daughter back. Not without an equal trade. Not without a deal.

“More than you would ever know in your damned existence, I love her very much." Loved. "Yet, I too am unable to go against the tide of Fate." In that moment, for the first time in his existence that had always been steady and predictable, the God of Life relented.

"However, there is a chance for her to return.” He started. “But you must adhere to what I will tell you. So that you will not destroy the world, I will tell you of how you may be granted mercy from Fate. But there is little in this world that is certain."

The Demon God was silent now, his face stony and emotionless. But there was something dangerous taking root in his eyes. A sickness that could not be cured: Hope.

And Hope was the most dangerous thing, for as much as it could create, it could also destroy. Hope would be the reason why humanity would continue. And hope would be the reason why the king, who in his madness had killed a deity, did not die. And why many, many years later, a princess that once had been the most loved existence in all of the realms would be born into this kingdom in the absence of love.

For hope could destroy lineage, as much as it tried to preserve it.

A/N: As always, leave a comment! Though I'm not active like I used to be, I do check messages that come into my inbox and do see when y'all (if anyone is still here haha) comment. If anything, another motivator that had me come back to this blog just for this story was someone who messaged me two years ago. @theedungeonwitch, though I was in a not so great place then and wasn't able to respond to you, I'm leaving my flowers here for you now. No tag list, since I'm not sure who's still here and still willing to read this chapter :)

#yandere bts #yandere yoongi #yoongi x reader #yandere #bts x reader #bts fic #yandere x reader #bts yoongi #yandere fic #bts thriller au #bts reader insert #bts fanfiction #duke yoongi #yandere male #bts scenarios

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kjhmyg · 6 months ago

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rough edges pt. 18 pairing: jungkook | reader genre: college!au, fluff, slight angst word count: 16k warnings: mentions of death, drugs, executions, drinking, anxiety, weapons.

summary: when you uncover your boyfriend's private life, a deep dive into it sucks you in as you try to help save him from himself.

a/n: one more chapter and one epiloque, and it's goodbye :( anw if u can guess my fave anime character i'll post the next part this weekend maybe

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 6.5 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / part 18 / masterlist

RE asks tag / pinterest board

Hundreds Arrested in Biggest Drug Raid of The Decade

Big Time Underground Crime Boss Taken Down

Uncovered: An imminent underground trafficking ring busted by Department of Justice

Joint Efforts of the Police Department & DEA sees an end to Infamous Drug Lord’s Operations

⎼

“Y/n.”

A familiar presence wraps around you like a warm blanket, feeling strangely at ease every time you hear that gentle whisper of your name. Every time it calls out to you, you feel yourself inching closer to the surface of reality.

At times when it goes quiet, you feel yourself regressing back into your cocoon and wait in silence, hoping for its return. Soft murmurs begin to dance around you, and you shake your head to shoo them away in protest, covering your ears every time they get louder, which happens every time the voice disappears.

Arms wrapped around your legs, and head between your knees, you wait for it to come back. It feels like hours have gone by and you almost give up, until you feel something touching you, for the first time in a long while.

Cautiously lifting your head, your eyes land on the familiar hand resting atop yours. His gorgeous eyes lure you out of the darkness and soon your hand is in his, embracing the warmth it provides.

Jungkook helps you to your feet, and in a fraction of a second, you’re walking down the footpath of a park he used to take you in the middle of the night for a quick date. Arms swinging in between, you can’t help but to sneak glances every now and then, as if to make sure he’s still there.

When you reach your usual spot, atop a hill with a wide view of the park and the open sky above, Jungkook grabs both your hands. He’s looking down at you, eyes roaming over your face before landing a soft kiss on your lips.

“I love you, Jungkook.” You whisper, hands on the sides of his face. He only smiles in response, and you wish he would let you hear his voice again.

His attention suddenly turns to the bright moon above, as if it were bothering him. Following his gaze, you notice how unusually bright it seems to be. You’ve spent many nights here, lying on the grass, staring up at the sky. You can tell something’s not right.

The glow emanating from the orb gets brighter, forcing you to turn away.

“Jungkook?”

When you look back, he’s gone, hand no longer in yours and nowhere to be found. The shine from above continues to blind you. You hold your arm up to shield yourself from the glare.

Somewhere in the distance, the murmuring starts once again, coming towards you from all sides. This time getting progressively louder. It’s a mixture of drowned out voices and screaming, and suddenly you can’t breathe.

You shut your eyes to make it stop, only to feel yourself choking, struggling to breathe. When you open your eyes, the memory you tried hard to suppress comes back to haunt you, manifesting itself.

Hongjun’s arm is around your neck, with a gun pointed to your head. A bunch of faceless officers stand before you, some in position to shoot. Then you hear him. Jungkook.

He’s running towards you at full speed, shouting something you can’t hear, hearing drowned out by a buzzing sound.

Everything moves in slow motion, and your vision starts to blur. As you fight to keep your balance while struggling to breathe, you see Hongjun’s arm move in one swift motion, aiming for Jungkook. The last thing you see are his wide eyes, before a loud bang rings in your ear and you’re falling again.

A sharp gasp tears from your lips, “Jungkook!” your blurt out as you suck in a breath of air, jolting upright, feeling as though you just surfaced from being underwater. Your heart booms in your chest and your eyes squint at the sudden brightness. The beeping sound somewhere near you keeps you on edge.

“Hey you’re okay,” a voice comes up to you, a comforting hand on your back, “you’re okay my love. I’m here.”

You look up at the worried face of your father, hovering over you with worried eyes. You will yourself to take deep breaths, trying to stay grounded. “I can’t breathe.”

“I’m gonna go get the doctor.” Hana says quickly, running out the room.

Within the next minute, you’re surrounded by nurses, feeling the comforting grip of your dad slipping away. It all happens way too quickly, and eventually the darkness takes over once again, as your eyelids fall shut.

⎼

It was different this time, the darkness was short-lived, and felt more like an afternoon nap. You open your eyes to the same bright room, the sounds of newspapers flipping to your left. Though still feeling sore, you slowly turn to where your dad rests with one leg over another, glasses hanging low on the bridge of his nose.

The front page of the paper catches your eye; NOTORIOUS DRUG LORD TAKEN DOWN splashes across the top half of the paper, in bold. As he moves to flip the page, he notices you’re awake.

“Hi,” your voice comes out hoarse.

“Well hello.” He sets the paper aside and gives you his full attention. Warm hands stroke the top of your head, thumb slowly caressing your forehead. “How are you feeling?”

The question brings about a surge of emotions from your chest, heaving as you fight back a huge sob. Tears fall down your face anyways, and a machine behind you starts beeping, startling you. Your dad hushes you, wiping away the stray tears. “Where’s Jungk⎼”

“Good afternoon.” A nurse comes in to check your vitals, interrupting your question. “Oh perfect, you’re awake!” She frees you from some of the wires and the beeping finally stops. As she checks things off the clipboard, you see the door behind her swing open gently and Hana’s face emerges.

“You’re up!” She beams, almost dropping the box of pastries in her arms.

The nurse smiles. “Everything looks good, miss. I’ll put in an order for a meal; no solid foods yet.” She points to the pastries with the back of her pen, “You haven’t eaten in three days, so we’ll start with porridge. The doctor will come around in the evening to do a full checkup.”

“Perfect, thank you.” Your dad says.

Hana sets her stuff down before going over to give you a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I was out for three days?” You ask, realising it was much longer than it felt like. You don’t even know what day it is.

“Yeah,” she says, “we were worried but the doctor said they didn’t find anything unusual. Your body probably shut down from the shock of it all.”

You play with the blanket covering your bottom half. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Your dad’s hand wraps around yours again. “All that matters is that you’re safe now.” The stress of the last couple of days is evident by the bags under his eyes.

With a deep sigh, you look at yourself, bruises and marks over your arm on the side where you fell, a scrape on the side of your cheek, and a bandage around your head. It throbs still.

“You had a concussion,” Hana reads the look on your face, “do you remember what happened?”

You wish you could forget. Blinking away the urge to cry, you nod.

“Hongjun…”

She doesn’t urge you to continue, instead places a firm hand over yours. “It’s okay.”

Many questions swim through your dad’s mind, you can see it in his eyes. “You knew him,” he says, more as a realisation than a question. Despite the disapproval of his features, he pushes your hair back affectionately, “I figured you were just at the wrong place, wrong time but if you knew him all along… what did you get yourself into?”

“I⎼” Words fail you, how could you tell him everything that’s unfolded in the last couple of months? He doesn’t even know you were kidnapped, you dread how he’d react once he finds out. “It’s⎼ it’s a long story…”

He heaves out a long sigh, trying to make sense of it all. How could his daughter be involved in the biggest criminal raid of the decade?

At the mention of your involvement, your mind springs back to the only thing you really can think of right now. Evidently, not the right time to be asking this, but there’s nothing more than you need right now than to know if he’s safe.

“A-any news on Jungkook?” You direct your question to Hana, who momentarily avoids your stare. “Hana? What happened? Is he okay? I need to go see him⎼”

The two of them try to stop you as you move to get off the bed. Legs already dangling off the side, Hana grabs hold of your arm. “He’s not here.”

You search her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“He’s not… well we don’t know what happened to him.”

A wave of panic washes over you and you can’t ignore the way your heart is bursting out of your chest. Your dad guides you back to your bed, willing you to calm down and you try. The throbbing in your head gets worse with every move, and you can barely keep your eyes open or stand the bright lights.

You need to find Jungkook. But your body won’t let you. So you shut your eyes to find him again in your dreams.

Hours later, you wake up to only Hana present, smiling when you start to stir.

As you sit up, she places a pillow on your lower back. Then brings a cup of water to your lips, urging you to drink up. You hear gentle knocks on the door before it slowly opens and a familiar face enters. He beams at the sight of you, though you don’t reciprocate.

Hana greets him with a nod and Hoseok takes the seat on the empty side of your bed. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better.” You mutter, eyes dropping to the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

He hands them to you awkwardly, almost blushing because now Hana’s smirking at him from the other side. “Hana told me you were finally up. I wanted to come see you.”

“Thanks Hoseok,” you muster up a smile looking at the bouquet, “they’re pretty.”

You almost miss the way the two of them share an odd look, as if speaking telepathically. When Hana notices you staring, it stops. “Let me help you with that.” She says, relieving you of the flowers.

An awkward silence fills the room while Hana finds a place for the bouquet on the table. Meanwhile, Hoseok hasn’t stopped staring at you.

“Hoseok?” He straightens up at the sound of his name.

“Yeah?” He answers when you take too long to start.

“Have you heard any news about Jungkook?” You feel sorry for asking, especially after his features drop. But surely he’d know something. He should, Namjoon would’ve told him. “Please tell me. I need to know if he’s okay.”

“That’s actually what we wanted to talk to you about,” he says and you realise now that was what was going on with two of them. “Hana and I asked around for him the night you were admitted, but we couldn’t get anything out of anyone. We have no idea what happened to him, or where he is.”

“What about Namjoon? Have you asked him?”

“I haven’t been able to contact him since that night.” Hoseok admits. “We met briefly while he was getting treated. He said he’d call to give me an update but…nothing.”

“It’s a big case,” Hana chips in, “he’s probably working overtime to settle everything before⎼”

“I don’t care about the case,” you say curtly, “I just want to know if my boyfriend is alright. The last thing I saw was Hongjun shooting in his direction, I have to know if he’s dead or alive!”

“Y/N,” Hana squeezes your hand when your breathing gets erratic, “it’s not like we’re hiding anything from you.”

“We want to find him too. I double checked with the nurses the morning after,” Hoseok says, “but they said there’s no such patient.”

“He couldn’t have just disappeared.”

“Maybe he did.” Hana says, “it’s not impossible right? If he’s caught, it’s bad, right?”

She has a point. You consider the possibility that he could’ve ran off when he got the chance. Staying would mean he’d be under police custody.

You stare at the blanket in front of you. “You’re right. Maybe he did run off…”

The tension in the room disperses slightly, Hoseok’s shoulders drop as you speak and Hana takes a seat.

“Sorry everyone,” you’re embarrassed at the way you snapped earlier, “I’m just really worried. I swear I thought he…”

“You went through a lot…we understand.” Hoseok says.

The rest of the evening floats by, despite their efforts to distract you from worrying, you can’t seem to shake off the feeling in your chest. Hoseok’s laughter fills the room as they carry the conversation, and you smile every now and then, feigning interest.

⎼

Perhaps it’s the complete silence in your room that was driving you nuts, or the fact that you’d been asleep for three days prior, you just can’t seem to doze off. You’d requested everyone to take the night off, including your dad, knowing they’d spent the last few nights with you.

Turning on your side, you spot a bouquet of your favourite flowers with a chocolate bar snuck in between the stalks. A little note is taped to it.

I heard chocolates are good for the brain. heh. - Mia

p.s I’m three doors down

The dimly lit hallway stretches all the way to the other end. Sitting on one of the empty seats along the hall, a security officer gives you a once over, surprised to see you up. The only other people around are two nurses at the station, busy with work and yet to notice you. Quietly, you tiptoe down the hall.

“Ma’am, aren’t you supposed to stay in bed?” The officer stands in your way, glancing at the fall risk tag around your wrist.

“I couldn’t sleep.” You smile sheepishly, and put a finger to your lips. “Are you…guarding someone?”

He shakes his head, “It’s just protocol. Most of the patients on this floor were admitted the same night. Nothing to worry about.”

“Oh.”

“I really think you should get back inside.”

“I just want to stretch my legs.” You say, “Please. I’ve been in bed for days…”

Despite his initial hesitation, he nods and lets out a sigh. “Fine. But don’t look at me if the nurses come for you.”

You give him an okay. If the patients in this hallway were there that night, could Jungkook be one of them? With a hint of hope, you walk past the rooms, scanning the names of the patients on the doors.

You come to a stop three doors down. Amelia Han. Is this Mia? You gently push the handle down and the door open, trying not to make a sound. As the door clicks behind you, nerves settle in your tummy, and you see the bottom half of the bed, the rest of it covered by the curtain.

Peeking around the half-drawn fabric, you feel a sudden overwhelming sense of heartache and guilt.

“Mia,” you whisper.

She turns at the sound of your voice. With as much energy as she can muster up, she pushes herself up to greet you with her warm smile. “Y/N.”

“I’m so happy to see you,” you run into her, and your arms wrap around each other, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you out of there. How are you?”

“Stop, it’s not your fault,” she chuckles, “I’m happy to see you too. I’m better now.”

“That’s good.” Your eyes drift to the bandage on the side of the head, almost matching yours. “What did the doctor say?”

“Concussion,” she shrugs, “and smoke inhalation apparently.”

“Oh right,” you cringe, getting flashbacks of that night, “there was a fire and smoke everywhere. I tried to drag you out but then…”

She watches you intently, grabbing your hand when your voice fades, “You don’t have to explain, I know you did what you could. It’s not like you made it out without getting hurt either. You had it worse than I did.”

“You heard about that?”

“I saw it on the news.” She says, “The police wouldn’t tell me anything, but I checked with the nurses and they told me you were just a couple doors down.”

“They already came to see you? The police?”

“Yeah for a bit,” she nods, “Since I was a bartender there. They were asking a lot of questions, but I could barely concentrate. So they told me they’ll get me in for a proper interview once I’m discharged.”

“I see. Won’t be long before they start knocking on my door too.” You sigh.

Mia watches your eyes glaze over as you drift into your thoughts, barely moving save for the breaths you take. She taps you on your cheek. “I lost you there for a moment.”

“Sorry,” you chuckle, feeling embarrassed.

“Something’s bothering you,” she says, as a matter of factly, “talk to me, I’m here for you.”

The heaviness weighing in your chest is begging for a release. Still, you’re unsure if it’s something you should be burdening Mia with, despite her receptiveness. She urges you once again, and you heave out a loaded breath.

“The last thing I remember was Jungkook running towards me, screaming my name. Hongjun’s gun was pointing towards him…I swear everything was going hazy at that point, and I felt like I was drowning or something. But I know for sure his gun went off, because there was a loud boom, like⎼ like an explosion and then my ears starting ringing and I was falling and⎼”

A firm squeeze around your hand keeps you grounded when the words start spilling out.

“And I don’t know what happened to Jungkook…”

A stray tear falls, and seconds later you break down into soft weeps as Mia lets you have her shoulder, a soothing hand over your back. She’s worried too, from the lack of response, and when you pull away, her brows are furrowed as if trying to make sense of your story.

“He can’t be…” she shakes her head, “He was probably admitted as well.”

“My friends checked, there’s no record of him.”

Mia thinks, grabbing her phone on the side table. You never got yours back after Hongjun kidnapped you. Her finger hovers over Jungkook’s name for a second before pressing the call and putting it on loudspeaker. But it was over before it even began. No dial tone, just a pause before a long beep and the call ends.

“He probably ran off, right?” You ask, seeking validation.

“Y-yeah!” She huffs out a smile, one you can see right through. “Probably! Maybe at the other end of the planet right now enjoying a nice drink! Nothing better than what I could make though.”

Giggling follows, but you both know it only masks your concerns.

“Crazy how this turned out…” Mia says softly.

“Right? Crazy…” You sigh, mindlessly touching the area around your neck, still sensitive to touch.

Mia notices, and says, “At least he won’t hurt us anymore. When I saw the clip of him dropping to the ground⎼ I was strangely relieved.”

“Wait, Hongjun…he got⎼ is he?”

Mia studies your face. “He’s dead.”

A recollection of moments where your paths had crossed with him flash through your mind, though none pleasant. From the first time you spotted him at the diner, to the times you conspired with him, and right down to the moments before he held you hostage, staring at the body of Taeho at the foot of the steps.

He hadn’t been at the forefront of your mind, nor your interest. But the thought of him being gone is shocking nonetheless, leaving you with a strange feeling.

⎼

“Seems like we’ve got a solid case,” The superintendent removes his glasses and shuts the file on his desk. “But before the trial, we do need to double check and triple check that we have every evidence, every report, every witness on record. I know it took a lot to get this far, everyone did an excellent job.”

“Thank you, sir.” The chief of police stands behind the two men seated before the superintendent. Placing his hands on each of their shoulders, he nods. “All thanks to these two. They led the entire operation, from start to end.”

“It was a team effort.” Seokjin says.

Namjoon agrees, “Everyone did their parts well. Including Jun’s team.”

“That’s good to hear. We’ll arrange for a meeting with everyone present so we can go through this together and prepare everyone for the trials. It’s a big case, every little detail can and will be questioned.”

“Yes sir.” They say in unison.

“I’ll be in touch.” He nods, “Dismissed.”

As they move to leave the room, Namjoon stops short of the door and turns back. “Sorry sir, I do have one last question.”

“What is it, detective?”

“My informant, he was a huge help in⎼”

“Yes, I’ve received your request for immunity.” He says, noticing the look of worry on Namjoon’s face. “Don’t worry, I’m looking into it.”

“Thank you, sir.”

⎼

The ride to the station was nerve-wracking. But you had no reason to be nervous, you reminded yourself multiple times as the officer led you to the interrogation room.

“Just standard procedure.” He says as you take a seat. Pressing your fingers to the spot under your jaw, you take deep breaths to calm yourself. It had taken everything in you not to panic when Hana, Hoseok and your dad were told to wait downstairs.

A minute later the door clicks open and you breathe out in relief to see your lawyer coming through. Soo Ah had been the one to contact you, offering her services. After checking out some of her previous work, you decided to let her help you. “Sorry I'm late.” She mutters, pulling up the seat next to you.

“Not at all.” You smile.

She carries a strong aura which gives you a sense of protection. “You ready?” She asks. “Remember, stick to what we discussed.”

You nod, taking a deep breath.

Seconds later, a detective enters, carrying with him a bunch of files. He sets a notepad in front of him and starts with the formalities. “This should be fairly quick, we’d just like to ask a couple of questions pertaining to the night of the incident.”

You nod, suddenly feeling like a lock had tightened over your lips.

“So, to start off, could you tell me what happened that night?” He smiles, pen hovering over the paper.

Your lawyer nods reassuringly, having already gone over what you were going to say the day before. “I was there with a friend. But I lost her in the crowd. Then there was the fire and I couldn’t find my way out. I thought I could run out the back or through a window….or something…”

Your voice fades off towards the end and your lawyer places her hand to the small of your back. Taking a deep breath, you continue, “That’s when I bumped into him…”

The detective nods, writing it all down. “And do you visit this club often?”

“Quite. It’s where everyone goes.”

“I see.” He says. “And have you ever seen that man before that night?”

“I⎼”

The door bursts open and all heads turn to it. You hear his voice before he makes his entrance and your heart skips a beat. “Sorry everyone, I had a meeting to attend to.”

The younger detective stands to greet him, startled. “Detective Kim,” he fixes his tie, “I was told to stand in for the interview. We’re in the middle of it right now.”

“Thank you detective,” Namjoon smiles, offering his hand for a shake, “but I’m here now. So I’ll be taking over. Would that be okay with you?”

The question was directed to you. And you blink in surprise.

“What is this?” Your lawyer steps in. “Please don’t waste any more of my client’s time. You should’ve sorted this out before the appointment.”

“My apologies.” Namjoon says. He nods to the other guy, who then nods in understanding and quietly dismisses himself. “Let’s continue.”

He looks at the notes previously written by the other detective. “Okay, so have you ever seen that man before that night?”

“Um,” your throat goes dry, feeling the weight of their stares at you. You hadn’t considered that Namjoon would be the one asking the questions. “N-no. I haven’t.”

Namjoon smiles. “Okay. Did you see anything before the incident? Anything suspicious? Perhaps something that would make you a target?”

“Are you suggesting my client had involvement in the events of that night?”

“I’m asking if she had witnessed anything she wasn’t supposed to, which made her a target.”

His eyes shift to you.

“No.”

“It’s just a matter of being at the wrong place, at the wrong time.” Your lawyer continues, “like she said earlier, she was trying to find a way out, but ran into him instead.”

“Hm.” Namjoon nods, pressing his lips together. He opens up one of the files which show a string of pictures. Some of them you recognise from Hongjun’s team, and Hongjun was among them. “Do you recognise any of these men?”

He slides the file closer to you. Your breath shakes as you take a look and you point to Hongjun’s photo. “Him.”

“Just him?”

You look again, clearly recognising Taeho and Junho. You nod. “Just him. He was the one who took me hostage.”

“Alright.” Namjoon nods. “Anything else you would like to share with us?”

He keeps a straight face, but his brows raise when you delay your response. “No.” You shake your head.

“Okay then.” Namjoon nods. “I hope you can rest easy knowing he’s no longer going to cause you trouble. Please let us know if you have any concerns and…that’s all for today. We’ll be in contact if the need arises.”

Namjoon starts to pack up. Soo Ah does so too and you sit there watching them. For some reason, you’re disappointed at how short this turned out to be, especially since you want more time to speak to Namjoon.

As you leave the room behind the two of them, you watch Namjoon hold the door open for you. You’re about to leave right behind Soo Ah, while Namjoon is headed in the opposite direction, when you turn back to him.

“Detective?” You ask and he stops in his tracks. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

You look at your lawyer and give her a nod before walking to Namjoon. The hallway is clear, though lined with offices throughout. But the frosted glass offers you some privacy.

“Namjoon,” you speak in a whisper.

“We can’t do this right now.” He says in an equally soft tone. “People are watching.”

“I just need to know if he’s okay.”

You look up at him with sad glossy eyes. His shoulders slump like he knows he wants to help but he can’t. “I really can’t say anything right now.”

“Please at least tell me if he’s ali⎼”

“Detective Kim.” A deep and commanding voice startles you into taking a step back. Namjoon straightens up and nods at the source. The man ignores your presence, grabbing Namjoon by the shoulder, motioning him to come along. “My office please, now. We have to talk about the…”

You watch regretfully as they get further away. Namjoon turns back to you before they take a turn around the corner, his apologetic eyes bore into yours, mouthing a sorry before he disappears from sight.

⎼

3 weeks later , Monday

“I said I’m fine.”

In fact you’re quite the opposite. And you feel bad for snapping at Hana, you never mean for the words to come out the way they do, but it happens before you can stop yourself. “Sorry…just…don’t worry about me.”

She looks on with an apprehensive look on her face. Though she wants to help, she knows when not to overstep.

It’s been three weeks since the incident, two weeks since you were able to be discharged, and a week since it was announced that Kim was dead.

“Big time mob boss, Kim Man Shik, dies following two weeks of intensive care…”

It hits you like a brick the moment it follows with details of the case, and only then had you realised they were talking about Kim. Part of you was relieved, now he would no longer be a threat, no longer a looming danger out to get you. But at the same time, you realise, he’s spared from the consequences he ought to receive.

Then your mind springs back to Jungkook. Still no news of him. You had no idea if he was dead or alive. Of course, you keep telling yourself that no news is good news. Maybe he managed to escape. Surely if anything had happened to him, they’d come looking for you.

The lack of clarity surrounding it all leaves you in a state of emotional turmoil. And your friends are at the brunt of it.

“I just need some air, okay?” You don’t spare her a glance as you slip out the door. The temperature’s dropped significantly, sharp winds forcing you to hide your face in a scarf and hands in your pockets.

Since you got back, your trips out of the apartment have consisted mainly of visits to and from the police department to tie up loose ends. Thankfully, none of the questions had been about your relationship to anyone in the club, more so as an ex-employee once they picked up that you used to work there.

You find yourself going down the normal route to school, missing the normalcy of it all. The incident left you on long-term medical leave. Decidedly, your dad wanted you to take the term off, and focus on recovering. You had no say in it, though there was no objection on your part.

But now standing in front of campus, you think maybe a little academic distraction might have been better. Now you’re free to think, and you don’t want to do that.

“Y/N?” Turning on your heel, you find Hoseok walking out the gate, eyeing you. “I thought that was you. Why are you here?”

“Getting some air.”

“Oh.” He waits for you to say something, anything. Instead you continue staring at the campus. “Do you wanna go get one of the crappy food hall meals? I can come with you.”

“No, thanks.”

“How about the rugby game tonight?”

He’s only trying to help, you keep reminding yourself. Just like Hana, everyone’s been super nice to you, and you’re appreciative, but after three weeks you’re tired of them walking on eggshells around you.

You just want things to go back to normal.

Hoseok was expecting another rejection, waiting as you looked to the ground in contemplation. “How about a drive instead?” You suggest, and his eyes light up.

It’s been months since you’ve been in his car, and he’s more than happy to have you sitting in the passenger seat again. He takes a scenic route, and you spend most of the ride with your attention on what’s outside, though he doesn’t seem to mind.

The radio plays at a nice volume, not too loud but enough to keep the ride pleasant. He, himself is uncharacteristically quiet, and you know it’s because of you. When you turn to him, his eyes are focused on the road. Yet he doesn’t miss the chance to flash a smile.

“I never got to thank you,” you say out of the blue.

He waves you off. “No need for that, I love going on drives.”

You giggle and it’s music to his ears. After weeks of solemnity, he’s excited to finally get a glimpse of the old you again. “I mean, for everything else, Hoseok.”

“Oh,” he chuckles. “Nah, don’t mention it.”

“No seriously.” You face the road this time. “You’re always looking out for me. For us. It’s why I knew I could count on you that night. Thanks for coming over and keeping Hana company.”

He doesn’t respond for a while, wheels turning in his head. “I froze for a while, you know?” He admits. “When she told me you escaped, but then those men took you away again. I felt so helpless. And when I got to your apartment, we watched the whole thing go down on the news. And all I could do was sit there.”

“Just because you weren’t the one taking down the bad guys doesn’t mean you were useless.” You say, “At that time, I needed you to be there for Hana. And you were. That itself means the world to me. So thank you.”

He tries to hide the immense joy bubbling in his chest with a tight lipped smile. The car takes an exit up ahead, and you see him driving towards water, a beach just outside of the city. You come to a stop by the side of the road where other cars have parked in a line. He motions for you to get out.

“Said you wanted some air.” He says, leading the way.

You walk a step behind him, taking in the salty air and the sounds of waves crashing into the beach. He finds a spot where the grass meets the sand, and plops down, saving the space next to him for you. The two of you sit and watch as other beach-goers go on to live their normal lives, something you envy them for.

If you close your eyes and imagine hard enough, you transport yourself back to nights with Jungkook. Sitting on the hood of his car, staring up at the night sky. Head resting on his arm, snuggled into his side. You’d go on and on about the day or week you’ve had while he smiles as he listens to you.

But it’s all just a memory now.

When you open your eyes, you realise Hoseok is watching you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Still worried about him?”

Everyone has basically made up their mind on Jungkook’s disappearance. They believe he managed to escape somehow. That he’s laying low in a different state, different country, trying to start fresh. Though you want to feel the same, you just can’t shake this feeling inside you that it’s not the case.

“Always.” You say. “I have so many questions. But no one has the answers.”

It’s hard for Hoseok, not knowing how to comfort you, not when he doesn’t have the answers himself. How does he reassure you that everything will be okay? The only person that can do that now is Jungkook.

That’s not to say that he didn’t try to help. On his own, he’d gone to several hospitals in the city, just in case Jungkook had admitted himself there. But he came up empty. Still, you were thankful for his efforts.

“Sorry.” He says and you question it.

“For what? You did more than I ever asked of you.” From the look on his face, you can tell he wants to do even more, anything to cheer you up. “I should be sorry for troubling you.”

“You’ve never troubled me,” he says. The lingering stare is one loaded with his feelings for you. Which is another thing you feel sorry for. As if he could read your mind, he says, “You know I’m glad you guys met.”

You wait for him to go on, unsure of where he’s going with this.

“No one has had quite the effect on him as you have.” He smiles, although heavy-hearted. “Even I was going to give up on him. Kick him out of the house. Then you came and everything changed.”

“Yet it turned out exactly as you predicted it would.”

“Some things we have no control over,” he sighs, pressing his lips into a line, “but in hindsight, he was a lot better after you came into his life. The Jungkook I knew before that was a far cry from your Jungkook. Even though he still hates me, shouts at me, rolls his eyes whenever I speak…wait what was the point I was trying to make?”

You laugh out loud for the first time in weeks, feeling the stretch of your cheeks. The dynamic these two have was never something you could help with. They just don’t go well together, like water and oil.

“Just kidding,” he chuckles too, “I was too harsh on him.”

“You meant well.”

“I said things that I shouldn’t have. I just couldn’t understand why he was like that.” Hoseok looks down at the sand, drawing lines with a twig. “But after the conversation we had, I realised maybe instead of trying to get him to understand me, I should’ve tried to understand him instead. I barely know anything about him, so why was I trying to change him so badly?”

You wonder what Jungkook would think if he were to hear Hoseok saying any of this.

“He was right, I did have a saviour complex. And he was the perfect victim. I just had to meddle, had to call Namjoon and tell him about the drugs.” Hoseok’s startled when he feels your palm on his shoulder. He hadn’t realised he was monologuing. He’s here to comfort you, not the other way around. He shakes his head. “Sorry. The last few weeks got me thinking, that’s all.”

“Everything you did came from a good place.”

A bitter smile flashes across his face, one that turns apologetic when he looks you in the eyes. “I even tried to pit you against him, remember?”

You sigh, closing the gap between you. Your knees brush against each other. “We’re all flawed in some way. You had good intentions, but maybe the delivery was bad. Jungkook heard you but he couldn’t feel you. And yeah, sometimes…our emotions get the better of us.”

He avoids eye contact when you tilt your head to look at him.

“At some point, you changed targets and instead of trying to protect him, you wanted to protect me.”

He makes a guttural sound, rubbing his eyes with the back of his palm. “Embarrassing.”

“Yeah.”

At that, he shoots you a look and you both break into a fit of laughter after a second. “Jokes aside, you’ve done more good than harm, if that’s what you’re worried about. You’re a really good friend.”

“So are you.” His hand rests atop your head, ruffling your hair and you shove him in protest.

⎼

Tuesday

Mia hooks her arm around yours, trying to match your step as you walk. “The word going around is that someone ratted on Kim, disclosed their plans that night. He was going to leave with Mr. B till they were ambushed.”

“Really? Wow,” your try and piece the timeline together in your mind, wondering who it could’ve been, “that’s surprising considering how loyal everyone seemed to be.”

“Hey, when you’re in deep trouble, you’re gonna do everything it takes to save yourself.”

“Right.” You nod, “Who told you all of this anyway?”

“A friend of a friend of a friend.” She gives you a look. “When you’ve made enough connections in this line, it’s easy to fish for info. But you know, take them with a grain of salt. Not everything is true.”

“Does anyone happen to have tea on Jungkook?” You ask, half joking, half serious.

“I tried.” She pouts, shaking her head. “That’s what’s weird, no one’s seen him since. I guess maybe he did escape after all?”

Your shoulders slump and you find interest in the ground. The more everyone grows into the idea of him having run off, the more you lean away from it.

“Why? You don’t think so?” Mia tilts her head, looking at the lines on your forehead that form when you frown.

An exasperated sigh leaves you. “I don’t know. Like you said, it’s odd. My friends seem to think he did run off though.”

“Is that why you’re upset at them?”

“I’m not upset at them.” Your friends would disagree, “It just feels shitty every time they try to make me think the same. What if I don’t believe that he ran off?”

“Do you?”

You think about it for a moment. “I just have a feeling that he’s still here.”

“That could be true too,” Mia says, “when I say escape, I don’t mean he’s left to another country, he’s probably gone underground. I doubt he’d let himself get caught. He’s been doing this for years, don’t you think he’d know where to go, who to go to?”

“No, you’re right,” you laugh it off, but she recognises the bitterness of the sound. “I guess I just…I’m worried about him.”

Her shoulder gently nudges yours, and you perk up. “Of course you are, you have every right to be.”

“I’d be happy if he’s safe somewhere far away, but no one can confirm that,” you say, “so how can I go about my life normally without knowing for sure that he’s fine?”

Mia listens, nodding her head.

“What if Hongjun did shoot him that night? Did he get help? Is he well? Is he even alive?...”

Your voice drifts off towards the end and your steps get slower. The thought is always at the back of your mind, though you try hard not to think about it. What if he’s actually dead? And that’s why no one knows where he is? What if he’s lying somewhere in the middle of an alley or an abandoned warehouse?

Mia’s fingers dig into your shoulders, shaking you out of it. Her brown eyes lock in on yours, hypnotising you with her spirit. “You’re spiralling. Stop doing this to yourself.”

You take a deep breath, “Sorry. Ever since Kim’s death I just keep wondering if Jungkook too…”

“Until we know for sure, don’t let those thoughts consume you.”

“I wish it were that easy.” you carry on walking.

“Consider this, you don’t know where Suga is either right?”

You stop in your tracks. As embarrassing as it is, you hadn’t considered Suga in all of this. You squeeze your eyes shut, mentally palming yourself for overlooking the one person that’s always had Jungkook’s back. Mia raises her brows, knowing she’s made a point.

“Why didn’t I think of that?” You ask in a whisper.

“Cause you have tunnel vision when it comes to Jungkook.” She chuckles. “But for real, they could have escaped together. And if he has Suga by his side, I’m sure he’s okay. Although…”

“What?”

The hopeful look she had on earlier briefly vanishes. “I do have some info. Which may or may not be true but⎼ I know a guy who used to bartend with me at the club like a year ago, he thinks he saw Suga on the other side of the city; you know, where the rich people live.”

“Huh. What would he be doing there?”

“Beats me,” she pouts, “he said he was going for his shift at the Grand Lot or something. And he may have seen someone that looks like Suga walking past him.”

“Wait, do you mean Grandeur Loft?”

Mia’s brows knit together as she tries to recall. “I think so?”

That’s the apartment building you’d been to previously. The address on the paper. Where you’d woken up in that one morning. What would Suga be doing there?

“Then another contact of mine told me Suga was seen with this one guy; he deals with IDs and stuff. Passports, VISAs, everything.”

“Oh,” it hits you, “so that means…they could’ve left.”

“Maybe. But they weren’t a hundred percent sure it was him.” Mia shrugs. “But, I am still inclined to believe those two are together somewhere.”

It gives you a glimmer of hope to know he might not be alone after all. If anyone out there would make sure Jungkook’s okay, it’d be Suga.

“Okay, this is good.” You nod, and Mia laughs. “I mean I’m not happy that Suga’s also missing, but⎼”

“Chill, I get it.”

“Thank you Mia.”

She smiles and goes in for a hug.

While Mia had left you in quite a good mood earlier in the morning, night time comes and you stay tossing and turning still. It’s become a routine, only being able to fall asleep once your mind is fully tired out from overthinking.

Suga being missing might not mean anything, what if Jungkook’s not even with him? And was he really at Grandeur Loft? What for? But no. No one was sure it was him. He might not even be alive. Ugh. You curse your brain for always thinking of the worst.

You turn to your side, and your eyes land on a bouquet of flowers that you got. It was delivered in the morning, just before you left to meet with Mia. In a hurry, you had quickly placed it in a glass cup and left it on your table without much thought.

Thinking back, it hadn’t come with a note, nor a name from the delivery man.

Your phone screen blinds you momentarily as you move to search for the type of flowers they were. After five minutes of scrolling, you find a match. Forget-Me-Nots.

You have never received Forget-Me-Nots before. They’re a peculiar choice, you think. But only in comparison to the flowers you’ve gotten over the last few weeks from friends and colleagues.

You click on a link explaining the meaning of this specific flower.

‘..Represents true love…It is a testament to your relationships and promises the other person that you will never forget them in your thoughts…”

A weird feeling creeps its way to your heart.

⎼

Wednesday

The next day, you decide to head back to work. An ongoing 1-for-1 coffee deal was happening, and the manager had asked if you were good to come down and support the team. Of course, you jumped at the chance. It’s refreshing to step back in the cafe, the smell of brewing coffee and freshly baked pastries giving you life.

It doesn’t take long for you to get back into the hang of it, though you were tasked only to handle the drinks with two others.

As you carry out an order, placing coffee, milk and ice cubes into the blender, put it on medium speed, you look at the tag to make sure it’s right. A caramel frappuccino. Jungkook’s regular order.

You let yourself dwell on it for a minute. But then realise there’s no time to get distracted. You top it with whipped cream and a drizzle of caramel, before placing it on the counter and yelling out the order. One after the other, the orders kept coming, and you worked on drink after drink, without so much as a glance at the customers, appearing only as a blur of faces crowded around the collection area.

By the end of the day, you were slumped. Maybe coming back on a busy day wasn’t the best idea, but you felt a semi-semblance of normalcy again.

The last few customers remain as you start closing. You go around clearing the tables and returning dishes to the kitchen. The last table at the back grabs your attention, the chair being pushed in, and the finished cup placed neatly, with a serviette neatly placed next to it.

It had writing on it, and while you usually would not spare it another glance, something about the way it was organised made you curious. So you unfolded the napkin and felt a knot in your stomach.

You make the best caramel frappe.

A sharp gasp leaves your lips. There was no name on the cup, nor do you remember seeing his face, but the thought lingers, could it have been Jungkook? Your chest tightens at the possibility.

You look out the glass windows, searching for anyone you might recognise. A few tables down, Hana notices, and she follows your line of sight. “What’s wrong?” She asks, brows furrowed.

“Oh. Nothing.” You smile, turning back around.

You go back to clearing tables and finish closing with the team, pushing the note to the back of your mind. But as soon as you’re safe in your room, you remove the crumpled napkin from your pocket, and stare at it again.

You then find yourself rummaging through a stack of papers on your table, searching for the one assignment you recall Jungkook having left on your table. You feel that squeeze in your chest as you place the paper and napkin side by side, studying the handwriting.

Jungkook.

As you drop into your chair, your eyes find the flowers from yesterday. The purple, blue and white flowers look prettier than before. What are the odds that the flowers and this note came to you consecutively? Your hands shake as you let your fingers graze along the petals.

There’s no way of knowing if you’re right, but you know it’s him. You just know it.

A sudden swelling of your heart leaves you in tears.

For the first time in a while, your mind is clear. A huge weight has been lifted, and a surge of adrenaline rushes through your veins. It’s him.

He’s alive.

⎼

Thursday

The following day, you go back to the cafe despite not having a shift, in case he shows up again. Your mood had improved considerably, earning a curious look from Hana in the morning. You thought of telling her, but stopped yourself in the end.

She has been extra protective ever since you got discharged. It would only worry her. Not only that, she’s concerned about how fixated you’ve been on Jungkook. Granted, she does understand how you feel, but the emotional rollercoaster you’ve been on can’t be healthy for you.

So telling her you think Jungkook sent you those flowers and the message, would only get her stressed. Even if you showed her the handwriting, she’d have a hard time believing it.

“Hey munchkin,” Taehyung squeezes you in his arms and you chuckle at the random nickname. “You look better.”

“Thanks I guess.” You smile behind your cup, taking a sip. Your eyes fix on the windows, observing every person that walks past.

“When will you be back?” Jimin takes up the space next to you while Taehyung blocks your strategic view of the cafe doors.

Jimin looks at you weird when you adjust your seat slightly to the side, eyes glued to the doors. “Oh, I don’t know yet. Maybe after term break.”

The two of them exchange glances at your odd behaviour. You only notice after the long silence that follows, their stares hooked on you, observing every person that walks into the shop.

“Yeah, you’re definitely not better.” Jimin comments, pulling up the chair next to you, while Taehyung goes into the kitchen for his shift. “What’s up?”

You feign nonchalance, shaking your head at his question, as if you weren’t just staring down every customer. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing. Been trying to clear out our rooms before break. Mama Hoseok’s driving us nuts.”

“Clearing your rooms?”

“After the whole drug case the administration wants to do a good sweep of the greek houses,” he clarifies, “so Hoseok thinks it’s a good time for us to do some spring cleaning.”

“Oh.” You nod, thinking of those who used to get their stash from Jungkook, wondering how they’re fairing.

“You’re not busy right? Come and help us.” Jimin starts pouting when he sees your apprehension. “Please? Hoseok would be less naggy if you’re around.”

Helping out wasn’t the issue, it was more of not wanting to leave in case Jungkook shows up. But he doesn't know that. You didn’t say a yes, but technically not a no either. So half an hour later, you find yourself walking up the steps of the Omega house, feeling strangely nostalgic, though it hasn’t been that long. But as you reach the top of the steps, you freeze, looking at the door to Jungkook’s room.

You don’t even hear Jimin asking if you’re okay, completely blocking out everything. Until you see Hoseok coming into view from the other side of the corridor. His wide eyes immediately shift over to Jimin. “What are you doing?”

“I thought she could…you know,” Jimin nods towards Jungkook’s door and Hoseok straightens up with a look that could kill.

He clenches his teeth, “Are you crazy?” to which Jimin responds with a whisper and you watch as they go back and forth, arguing.

“I don’t mind.” You interrupt, both eyes drifting over to you.

Hoseok abandons Jimin’s side and a hand rests on your back. “Are you sure about this?”

You’re not. And it might get too much for you, hell, you froze just looking at the door. But perhaps you needed this. To be surrounded by things that belong to him, in the room he’s spent the last couple of years in. The room you’ve spent several nights wrapped up in his arms. Your heart thumps in your chest as your hand wraps around the doorknob.

Half expecting him to be there, the faint smell of his cologne greets you first, then it opens up to a warm, dusty, untouched room. In your mind you see him, laying on his bed, eyes lighting up at your presence.

“You don’t have to do much, just throw whatever he doesn’t need anymore.” Hoseok says, breaking through your thoughts. It calms you the way he speaks as if he believes Jungkook is coming back. Because even you’re not sure of it at this point. “I’ll leave the trash bag here.”

After reassuring him you’ll be okay, Hoseok finally leaves to give Jimin a piece of his mind in his room. You suck in a breath once you’re alone, closing the door and taking in his room.

The framed picture of you on his side table, wearing his favourite dress, unfortunately placed next to an out of place roll of tissue which you shake your head at. “Disgusting.” You chuckle, tossing the whole roll into the trash.

A couple more random items you find lying around gets dumped. And you take it upon yourself to tidy up the mess he left, removing the sheets, sorting his stationery, and airing out his wardrobe. Keeping what Jimin said in mind, you did a quick sweep of all the places he could have hidden a secret stash; under the bed, behind furniture and inside the drawers, but came up empty.

In two hours, it’s sorted. You’re left to bask in the emptiness of the room. You rest on his bed, eventually laying down and staring at the ceiling, trying to recall the feeling of his body right next to yours, arm heavy over your waist, snoring in your ear. You bury your face into his pillow, snaking an arm under it, only to find something else.

It’s a polaroid of the two of you, taken by one of your friends; he’s behind you, arms wrapped around you with his chin resting on your head, while your head rests on his arm. He wears the biggest grin on his face, one you miss so dearly.

A knock on the door has you sitting up. It opens slowly and Jimin’s head appears, he looks around and smiles, “Wow! Can you do my room next?”

“For a small fee.”

He groans before the door is being pushed open wide, and Jimin almost trips as he’s dragged along with it. Hoseok comes through and takes a good look around. Jimin rolls his eyes when Hoseok’s back is to him. “See? This is how you do it. Clean, organised.”

“I checked for any hidden packages.” You add, “None.”

Hoseok’s impressed, smiling wide at you, but his smile drops when he turns back to Jimin. “You have till the end of the day before I sort out your room myself.”

Jimin struts off, muttering some curses along the way. Hoseok offers you an apologetic smile when the sound of Jimin’s door slamming shakes the walls.

“Thank you,” he says, “let me send you back.”

Your feet find it difficult to leave, your steps feel heavy as you make your way out. You make sure to grab one of his sweaters and take a good look once more before closing the door.

“Keepsake?” He purses his lips to the folded sweater on your lap as he pulls out of the driveway.

A tender smile crawls across your face. “Yeah.”

“That’s his favourite isn’t it?” Hoseok says, surprising you. “He’s always wearing that. He’s gonna throw a fit when he finds it missing.”

The corners of your lips lower, turning your smile into a look of contemplation. Your eyes set on the fabric and your hands graze the material. The sudden change doesn’t go unnoticed and Hoseok shifts uncomfortably, wondering if he’d said something wrong. “Sorry. I shouldn’t joke about that.”

“No.” You force a smile. “It’s not that.”

Silence follows as he waits for you to continue. He wishes he could read your mind, because now you’re breaking into another smile. He’s starting to think maybe leaving you with Jungkook’s stuff wasn’t the best idea.

“You’re actually scaring me.”

You laugh even more at the genuine fear etched on his face. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”

With his brows furrowed and knuckled tightening on the steering wheel, he keeps switching his attention between you and the road. He grows impatient when you don’t go on.

It’s when he stops at a red light, now being able to concentrate on what you’re saying, fully turning his body to you, that you finally decide to speak.

“I think he’s back.”

⎼

Friday

The school grounds feel oddly unfamiliar after the weeks of absence. Walking down the halls now feels like you’re an outsider. Though, it’s heartwarming to know your classmates have missed you since, running up to you as soon as they catch sight of you to ask how you’ve been.

While the incident was the talk of the town initially, interest about it faded gradually, sparing you from the stares you used to get before taking the term off.

You walk behind Hana, tugging on the back of her top to keep from getting separated. After braving the crowd, you spot the table the boys have reserved on the lawn, Jimin waving in the distance.

You know what this intervention is about. Across from him, you shoot him a glare, corners of your lips turned down in a frown. Hoseok looks away innocently, holding back a smile. Of course, he’s not trying to be cute, he knows you’re angry.

“You just had to yap.” You start the conversation, folding your arms on the table.

“Yeah, not cool dude.” Jimin folds his arms in protest as well.

Hoseok opens his mouth to defend himself but Hana puts her hand up to stop him. The three of you turn your attention to her. “You should’ve told me.”

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Now I’m even more worried!” She presses her fingers to the bridge of her nose. “What else have you been hiding from me?”

“Nothing!” You sigh. This was exactly what you were trying to avoid. But you can’t blame Hoseok entirely, you’d forgotten to tell him to keep it on the low till you have solid proof, so naturally he mentioned it to Hana who all but panicked the night before.

“What did he give you?”

“It was flowers three days ago.” You’re eyeing Hana, observing her reaction. “Then the next day after my shift, he left a message on a napkin.”

They’re unimpressed. “I compared the handwriting on the napkin with Jungkook’s old assignment and they match!”

“So many people have similar handwriting.” Hoseok argues, then shuts his lips when you narrow your eyes at him. “I’m just saying.”

“He’s right though,” Jimin says, “what did he write on the napkin?”

“That I make the best caramel frappe.”

Hana groans and they simultaneously shift in their seats, finding it hard to understand your logic. Even Jimin, who was on your side earlier, presses his lips into a thin line, as if he’d have to break your bubble of delusion.

“That could’ve been anyone,” Hana reasons, “probably a flirty customer.”

“A caramel frappuccino is Jungkook’s regular order. It’s like a thing he used to say to me, that he only ever likes the ones I make.” You’re borderline sounding desperate. “And the flowers? Do you guys know what forget-me-nots mean? He’s basically telling me he’s still thinking of me. I wasn’t sure the first time but now, I’m positive it’s him.”

“I don’t know,” Hana thinks about it, “I feel like I need more than that.”

“Wouldn’t he have tried contacting you first? Like a text or something?” Jimin asks.

You angle your head towards him and raise a brow. “I don’t have my phone, dummy. Lost it when I got kidnapped, remember?”

“Oh right…” He trails off, deep in though.

Your hand rests atop Hana’s, and you look her in the eye. “I know it’s him, trust me.”

“I do trust you.” She places her free hand on yours. “But I’m just not convinced it’s him. Not based on handwriting alone.”

“Well what do you want him to do?”

“Show up.” Jimin says mindlessly, shrugging when the other two look at him. He’s saying what they’re thinking.

Hana plays with her fingers for a few seconds, “Well, yeah actually.”

“We just can’t be sure it’s him.” Hoseok says, “Unless we know it’s him…it could literally be anyone. Unless he actually shows his face and⎼”

“Well he can’t exactly do that right now, can he?”

The bitterness that seeps through your words cuts them like a knife. It’s been a touchy subject from the beginning and they’re always careful with what they say.

“I feel like none of you actually want him to come back.”

“It’s not that,” Hana sighs, “I don’t want you to get your hopes up about something that may not even be true.”

Though you saw it coming, and you know you’re being overly sensitive about this, it still hurts to know they don’t believe it’s him. That they’d rather believe he’d be okay with leaving halfway across the world without so much as a word to you, without thinking of you.

And maybe that’s what really scares you. To think that it’s possible he’s really gone, and okay with being without you.

“Whatever,” you mutter as you get up, without so much as another glance at them.

You hear them calling your name as you go, but you don’t turn, running into the crowded mess of the halls once again and rushing out. You hold back tears, not wanting to make a scene, or let anyone catch you crying.

That night, you skip dinner, telling Hana you’re not hungry when she knocks on your door. You feel bad, but it would be worse to face her when you’re just not in the mood. Lying on your front, you start to wonder if it really was your imagination. Maybe you wanted it to be him so badly, you started to make sense of what didn’t. Maybe it was just a flirty customer. Maybe the flowers were from someone else entirely.

How could you be so stupid to think that any of that was Jungkook? Maybe it’s time you accept that he’s gone for now. Even just the thought of him not coming back overwhelms you and your eyes burn as tears start to fall again.

You sigh, not wanting to dwell on this any longer. You need a distraction. It’s been a long time since you enjoyed a good movie or listened to some songs, so you flip your laptop open.

You click on the green icon on your screen and your spotify opens up, immediately overwhelming you with choices of playlists. You scroll through your original playlists, looking for a specific one, but find something odd.

There’s one playlist you don’t remember creating.

for my love ♡

You prop yourself up on your elbows, unable to contain the beating of your heart against your chest. Jungkook and you have been using a shared account, mainly because he doesn’t listen to music much, so he hijacks yours instead.

You click on the playlist, brewing with anticipation. The songs were added just yesterday. Your breathing gets erratic as you try to keep your composure, and you look through the songs.

hey lover! - wabie

miss you, dear - bol4

save your tears - the weeknd, arianna grande

love is not over - bts

love. - wave to earth

come back to me - R.M.

i swear i’ll never leave again - keshi

see you - amin, dept

p.s. i love you - paul partohap

still with you - jung kook

All doubt that clouded your mind just a minute ago vanishes into thin air. You were right, you were right all along. No longer do you doubt yourself and the love Jungkook has for you. Heart swelling with the love you have for him, you wish you could be with him right now, showing him how much he means to you.

You close your eyes and let the music run, listening to the message of each song he’s chosen. You don’t know what to do with all the emotions going through you right now. Tears keep falling, but happy ones this time.

You lie there, imagining being back in his arms, feeling his presence right next to you.

⎼

Saturday

The playlist is your secret to keep. Partly because of yesterday’s events, but it also felt too intimate to be shared with anyone. Right now, it’s something between Jungkook and you, and you want to keep it that way. Waking up with a clearer mind, you head out. Just on your own this time.

You couldn’t have asked for better weather; blue skies and a gentle breeze. White fluffy clouds follow you from the sky, as if excited to spend the day with you. After breakfast, you make your way to a huge bookstore that had just opened up, spending hours just browsing their collection and ending up with five new books.

By the afternoon, your body aches for your routine nap. But you carry on. Every time you pass by an alley, or a vacated building, you can’t help but to wonder where Jungkook is right now. Now that you know he’s alive, your shoulders feel a little less heavy.

But you miss him still.

The park serves as your next stop, the smell of the earth swallowing you whole in its embrace. You take a stroll, stopping to watch little children feed the ducks, petting several dogs on a walk, and watching teens play basketball on the court.

You only pause when you reach your favourite spot. One where you spent many date nights with Jungkook. You’d seen it in your dreams while you were lying in the hospital, and your mind flashes back to it, how it ended…and you feel your energy draining even more.

You simply walk past it, refusing to go back to the spot till you’re hand in hand with Jungkook.

In the shade of a large tree, you find an empty bench and your back thanks you when you finally settle down. Perhaps your body has gotten too comfortable at home. You reach into your bag and pull one of the books you got and flip it open.

An hour goes by before you realise someone has taken the seat next to you. You had been so absorbed you didn’t even notice. He quietly munches on a hotdog bun, watching the kids play football on the open grass on the other side of the footpath. His side profile gives off a strangely familiar vibe, but you can’t put your finger on it.

“Glad to see you’re well.” He says before taking another bite, still facing forward.

You crane your neck and scan the surrounding area. Is he talking to you? You scoot away slightly.

Noticing this, he chuckles, “Don’t panic, y/n.”

“How do you know my name?”

That’s when he snaps his head towards you, finally giving you the missing puzzle you needed. “Seokjin,” you say in a whisper, “you look different.”

He checks his casual attire; khaki cargo pants paired with a plain blue sweater, and a baseball hat to top it off. “I’d rather not sport a bulletproof vest while I’m enjoying my day off.” He smirks.

Although you’re happy to see him, you realise you don’t know what to say. You’ve never had a normal conversation with him, nothing which didn’t involve the case. It had always been business, or him telling you to back off.

“How was the breakfast at that cafe? They just opened right?” He asks so casually you almost fall for it, then your brows knit in confusion, “Been meaning to go there but you know, super busy the last month. Were the pancakes dry?”

“You were following me?” It was more of a statement than a question.

He takes the last bite of his hotdog, leaving you time to process it. “Just checking in.”

“Why? Do I have something to be worried about?”

He takes a deep breath, then looks at you. “Don’t worry, no one’s after you. You’re safe.”

“Okay,” you nod, “then why are you following me?”

“Come, take a walk with me.”

⎼

“This was by far the longest and toughest case I’ve ever worked on.” Seokjin goes on, “It was all worth it though.”

As you walk with him for the last ten minutes, he shares details of the case that he’s allowed to talk about for now. Mostly what went down on his side, stuff you never knew was going on while you were dealing with Jungkook and Suga and Hongjun and⎼

“I was never really on board with letting you guys in on the case. But Namjoon insisted.” He shrugs. “And I trusted him.”

“I hope we didn’t end up making things more difficult.” You voice out, and he smiles. “We did, didn’t we?”

“I”m not gonna lie, I almost wanted to bring you in for meddling. But I must say…” he looks at the ground as he walks, kicking stray pebbles along the way, “You’ve got guts. You should consider joining us.”

You spit out a laugh. “Please, I've had enough action to last me a lifetime.”

“I hope you’re not too traumatised. It’s terrifying to be held hostage like that,” he stops walking and so do you. “I can’t imagine what went through your mind when that was happening.”

“A lot…” you scoff, heart rate increasing from just the thought of it. “But it was less terrifying when I saw you guys.”

Jin looks at you for a moment, then looks away again, as if he has more to say, but he can’t. You don’t realise how far you’ve walked, now all the way to the back of the park, a more secluded area where the footpath meets a road, just before a dead end.

“This is where we separate.” He says, holding out a hand for you to shake.

You tilt your head in confusion but shake his hand anyway. He then nods to a black SUV parked by the side. You look at the car and back at him. The sliding door opens automatically.

“I can’t say this is exactly an ideal situation to be in after all I’ve been through.” You say, earning a hearty laughter from him.

“Good to know you’re taking precaution.”

“Don’t worry,” A familiar voice comes from the other side of the car. The windows are tinted, so you can’t see who it is, until he shows himself by the door. Namjoon waves. “I promise I’ll be nice.”

⎼

It almost felt unreal. Somehow you had pushed Namjoon far back into your mind, reminded yourself that he couldn’t help you, he had better things to do, and accepted it for what it is. Seeing him now, greeting you with such warmth, as compared to what happened at the station three weeks ago, has you taken aback.

The ride starts off quiet, and it makes you all too aware of everything around you. The leather rubs against your skin, the headboard’s a little too high, the seat belt too tight and the sound of the blinker irritates you.

“You mad at me?” Namjoon breaks the silence first. There’s an air of serenity surrounding him now, much calmer, unlike how he was the last few months.

“No. Are you mad at me?”

Your question makes him chuckle. “Whatever for?”

“For troubling you.”

“Believe it or not,” there’s a smile on his lips as he speaks, eyes on the road, “you weren’t my biggest problem. Of course, I was occupied trying to take down a renowned crime boss but…I guess you were there somewhere in the back of my mind.”

You hit him with the back of your hand and he winces. “I mean if you didn’t have to look out for me, it would’ve been a lot easier. I kept interfering.”

“I won’t deny that.” He nods, “You’re stubborn. Hard-headed.”

“I get it.” The glare you send him still makes his skin crawl.

“But, your heart’s in the right place.”

Leaning back, you smile out the window and watch as the world goes by. He hasn’t told you where you’re going, but you don’t mind. With how busy he gets, you might not get another chance to speak to him like this.

And your thoughts wander off to Jungkook. Now that you know he’s alright, you wonder if Namjoon does. And if he doesn’t, bringing it up would only put Jungkook in a bad position. Though they were friends at some point, Namjoon was undercover and it is his job to put criminals away, and that includes Jungkook if he gets the chance.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask after a while.

“Hm? Tell you what?”

You turn to him, “That you were undercover.”

He smiles, shaking his head. “You already knew too much. I’d just be putting you at risk.”

“Just say you don’t trust me and go.” You roll your eyes at him and your stare stays there for a while longer, questions running through your mind. “How did you do it?”

A glimmer of delight shows on his face. It’s like he’s been waiting to tell you all about it, like a kid wanting to share their latest obsession with you.

“When I first planned to infiltrate Kim’s organisation, I spent a lot of time studying Kim’s lower ranks,” Namjoon starts, “mainly those on the streets that run the show for him. They don’t know everything, but they weren’t my targets so that’s no issue. I just had to get them to trust me.”

“From there, I’d try to work my way up.” He laughs then, “But I guess I wasn’t as discreet as I thought. Word spread that there was a suspicious guy snooping around. I blew it basically.”

“What happened then?”

“Someone was sent to snuff me out. But…” Namjoon pauses, “one thing led to another and that person ended up being my informant.”

“What?” You ask, flabbergasted. You wonder if this was the same person Mia was talking about, the one who betrayed Kim.

“I know, I was surprised too.” He laughs. “But people are complicated I guess. We met up a couple of times, I took a gamble and offered him to be my informant for a reduced sentence, and he took it up. Never told me why he did it though, he had a lot to lose considering how close he was to Kim and the higher ups.”

“Where is he now? Is he okay?”

“Haven’t seen him since the incident actually.”

Someone close to the higher ups? You can’t imagine who else had been in on it.

Namjoon laughs. “You know, when we planned for all this, I never expected there’d be an overprotective girlfriend to think about. Hoseok should’ve warned me.”

The mention of Hoseok makes you wonder if he’d told him about your meeting today. “In all fairness, he didn’t know me well back then.”

“Have you spoken to him recently?”

“Have you?” You flip the question back to him and he grins sheepishly. “You all but disappeared.”

“Sorry I was⎼”

“Busy, I know. Don’t worry.” You pat him on the shoulder. “We get it. We just…or I just felt like I was shoved to the side after it was all over, you know? I didn’t even know Hongjun was dead till Mia told me.”

Namjoon admits his fault. “But remember, your knowledge of the case is a secret. So realistically, I couldn’t show that we were friendly. I didn’t want anyone dragging Hoseok into this either just because we’re friends. I kept my distance because of that.”

That makes sense. Everyone’s eyes were on him as the lead detective, of course he’d take extra precaution.

“Thankfully, no one suspected anything. No one we should worry about anyway, since the main targets are dead.”

“Right.” You mutter, still trying to get used to the fact that Kim, Hongjun and his crew are all gone.

“I tried to eliminate any interest surrounding you. Afterall, you were a hostage victim, so it was fairly easy.” Namjoon said, “Then there was that first interview. I had a meeting prior, so I had to rush through it just to get to you on time. Although, I knew something like that might happen, which is why I sent Soo Ah to take your case.”

Your head snaps in his direction so quickly at the realisation. Soo Ah, your lawyer, had been Namjoon’s doing? It was odd when she showed up offering her services out of the blue, but you assumed it was only because of the high profile case.

“Hold on, that was you?” Your voice is laced with surprise.

Namjoon’s dimple makes an appearance when he smiles again. “She’s a childhood friend, amazing lawyer. I called her in as a favour.”

Even after everything, he tried his best to keep you safe. At the thought of it, your eyes start to brim with tears. “Namjoon…”

He switches his attention between you and the road. “Aw come on, don’t start.”

“I’m so touched.” You bring your sleeves to your eyes and wipe the wetness away. “Thank you. So much.”

“It’s nothing.” He says mindlessly, though you disagree.

As he turns the corner into a busy street, the car eventually slows down to a stop, heavy traffic ahead. It isn’t unexpected at this time of the day, when everyone’s leaving work. Now that he’s not occupied, Namjoon faces you.

“I have one more surprise.”

“What was the first one?”

He takes offence at your question. “The first one was meeting me.”

“Boo.”

He presses his lips together and tilts his head sassily. His arm which was reaching for the compartment in front of you, backtracks. “I changed my mind. No presents.”

“I’m just kidding,” you giggle, hooking your hand over his arm and he pulls away, only for you to pull him back. “Please? I love presents. Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple⎼”

He scoffs, trying to keep a straight face. “Now I remember why I moved miles away from my sister.”

Despite his complaints, he pulls out a brown paper bag, handing it to you. Only for a moment do you hesitate before tearing the seal open. You look inside and let out a gasp. “My phone! You got it back!”

“I backtracked to where they held you during the kidnapping and bagged it.” He says, watching as you struggle to switch it on. He offers you a charging cable connected to the dashboard. “It was lying in a pile of trash they left behind.”

“Ew. But perfect.” A green swirl appears on screen as it starts to charge. “Namjoon, I can’t thank you enough! I thought I’d lost everything on here.”

Once the phone comes to life, you brace yourself for the influx of notifications. It keeps you busy while Namjoon tries to find an alternate route. You swipe the notifications clear save for the tens of unread messages, mostly well wishes from friends. Then, it leaves you hovering over the homescreen, a picture of Jungkook and your hands intertwined.

Glancing at the man next to you, he’s busy scrolling through the maps app on his device. Part of you wishes to tell him about Jungkook. Surely, he’d want to know if Jungkook’s alright. But you don’t take the risk.

Sighing, you look out the window at the mass of cars outside. It’s much further than your area. He’s driven right into the busiest part of the city, where most office buildings are located, which explains the heavy traffic. Even more so at this time of day.

As you let your head rest on the headboard, you stifle a yawn, feeling the events of the day taking a toll on you.

“Long day?” He chuckles, similarly getting comfortable in his seat. “Why don’t you rest for a bit. This might take a while.”

“Where are we going again?” You ask sleepily, already leaning against the side.

“You’ll see.”

“Hm.” Your body melts into a slumber in less than five minutes with the aircon blowing in your face and the radio softly playing. Your mind drifts off to the night of the photo on your homescreen. The two of you had ditched the car, opting to walk that chilly night to a nice place downtown.

Complaining that you were taking steps which were too small, Jungkook stretches his arm out to pull you along. As you go on your way, you snuck in a quick snap of your intertwined hands. The slight pause in your step when you do, has him complaining even more, and you shut him up with a kiss. It always works. His smile is the last thing you see before you’re awakened by the sound of an angry honk.

“Whoops, sorry.” Namjoon glances at the rear view mirror, “That one’s on me. I cut him off.”

You stretch your arms out in front of you and twist your back with what little space you have and sigh in content. Checking the time, you realise almost half an hour has passed. “That was a good nap.”

“Yeah? You were giggling in your sleep.”

“Was I?” You remember the smile Jungkook flashed you in your dreams.

“So listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.” His tone is a complete 180 from before. This is more like the Namjoon you’re used to. Though familiar, it scares you. “It’s about the case.”

“Okay.”

When Namjoon goes quiet to focus on the road again, it’s then that you realise the car is passing by a familiar set of buildings. And you vividly remember this route.

Up ahead, the Grandeur Loft comes into view. That’s right, this is why the route seems familiar to you. It’s where you had woken up that one morning after getting high, and also the address on that piece of paper you took from Jungkook. Your conversation with Mia about Suga comes to mind as well. You think you’re just passing by at first, until Namjoon drives towards the entrance.

“Wait, why are we here?” He doesn’t respond and you press him. “Namjoon, seriously, where are you taking me?”

“Calm down,” he finally says, “some things I can only talk about in the privacy of my apartment.”

“Your apartment?”

He nods and drives through the loft security, nodding to the guard as they grant him access to the parking lot. Multiple scenarios go through your brain as you try to predict how this might go.

“You trust me right?” The engine goes off, leaving you to ponder in silence. He waits. You nod meekly. “Then come on.”

The building has much tighter security than you remember. But then again, you were high the first time there. A pass is required just to activate the elevators, and inside, Namjoon presses the button to the 20th storey. A tiny screen at the bottom prompts for his fingerprint. Then a flashing green light signals its approval and the elevator starts moving.

“I know you still have a lot of questions about that night. Most of which I couldn’t disclose to you back then. But now things have mostly settled, I have the answers to your questions.” He says, hands in his pockets. You look at his reflection on the doors in front of you.

“That’s why I decided to come and see you today.” He continues. “I’m bringing you to meet someone.”

“Someone?”

A soft ding goes off as you reach the floor. It opens to a long hallway with only two apartments. He guides you to the one on the right. You walk in step with him. Namjoon extends his arm to stop you just before reaching the door. “You’ll want to talk to him. He’ll have the answers to your questions.”

“O-okay.”

“Whatever you learn in this room, stays in this room.” He says, “This is top secret information.”

You let out a heavy sigh, sickened by the thought of having to keep yet another secret and nauseated by the anticipation.

He scans his biometrics against a scanner on the wall next to the door, and a green dot appears on the handle, the sound of the lock clicking. “You ready?” He asks.

Your heart thumps in your chest. “Yeah.”

You’re greeted by an empty apartment, similar to the one you woke up in that night. It’s clean and spacious, and feels untouched. Soft music plays in one of the rooms, though you don’t see any evidence of anyone living here. Is this how Namjoon lives?

You turn on your heel, to ask him, but he presses a finger to his lips. A second later, he’s calling out, “Kid! I’m back!”

Somewhere round the back, you hear the music getting louder and footsteps making its way down the hall. A weird feeling washes over you.

“You don’t have to yell.”

Your heart does a somersault in your chest. You feel like you’re going to throw up and faint all at once. Your feet feel stuck to the ground, body frozen. The steps get closer and you hear it come to a halt, feeling the presence behind you.

“I told you not to call me ki⎼”

The voice fades away. Namjoon is smiling, encouraging you. You turn slowly, wondering if it was just your mind playing tricks on you. You’re probably just hearing things.

But your eyes land on the man standing just metres away from you.

Jungkook

⎼

It’s like the air is sucked right out of you. Your voice goes missing and for a minute, all you can do is stand frozen to your spot, staring at him. His round shiny eyes stare right back at you, equally as surprised.

You take one cautious step forward, as if he would disappear if you made any sudden moves.

Then with a whisper of your name, a grin appears on his face and he’s running towards you. His strong arms sweep you off your feet, spinning you around, and your heart runs wild in your chest. When your feet land, his hands cup both sides of your cheek. “It’s you.”

“It’s you.” You mirror him, planting your hands over his and wrapping around his fingers. Tears stream down your face, and his thumb catches them mid-way. “Jungkook. It’s really you.”

“Y/N, I’ve missed you so much.” He’s quick to pull you into an embrace, and you bury your face into his shoulder.

“I’ve missed you too.” You feel his tears seeping onto your clothed shoulder. When he finally lifts his head, you trace his face with your fingers. “I was so worried.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, dropping into your arms again. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

His eyes roam to the side of your face and the bandage on your head, gently grazing the light bruise on your cheek. A sharp pain stabs at his chest when he sees your wounds, feeling guilty for all of it. You grab his hand and hug it against your chest, shaking your head, “I'm fine.”

Excitement has blood rushing through your veins, hands shaking and knees almost giving way and you let out a chuckle at the absurdity of it all. You clench your fist, digging your nails into your palm to snap you out of whatever dream you might be having.

But it’s all real. And Jungkook remains, glossy eyes bore into yours, nose turning red.

“Are you okay?” You ask, “You’ve been good?”

Jungkook grins, “Better now that you’re here.”

Your heart is on the verge of combusting out of exhilaration. Without warning, he moves in, crashing his lips to yours and your hands tug at the fabric of his shit into a fist. Rough at first, but you slowly ease into it, and soon your lips move in sync with his. Jungkook controls his ache for more, and pulls away to let you catch your breath.

Your forehead rests against his, and when he tilts his head to look at you in the teasing way he does, you bury your face in his chest. He chuckles and you feel him land a kiss on the top of your head.

Jungkook holds you tight, not wanting to let go. But you feel his arms loosen slightly as his attention is striped away from you and his eyes float over to where Namjoon stands, long forgotten.

“Surprise!” Namjoon raises his palms in the air.

It makes you laugh and you wipe away the dampness from your eyes as you pull away. Jungkook walks past you, going to give Namjoon his deserved hug. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to surprise you both.” He shrugs.

Jungkook squeezes him, and Namjoon takes it only for a couple of seconds before pushing him away. As you watch them go on, the stuff Namjoon said earlier slowly creeps its way back to the forefront of your mind.

Noticing your silence, Jungkook turns back to you, offering you a worried smile when he sees you ruminating over it. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“How? Why?” You continue to stand there confused.

Jungkook’s eyes widen momentarily, then his features ease back into a smile. He brings your hands to his face and kisses the back of your palms.

“It’s a long story.”

⎼

An orange glow blankets the city skyline as the sun sets. The top to bottom windows give you a perfect view, like something out of a movie. From behind, you feel Jungkook’s hands snaking around your waist and his face appears next to yours. His sweet voice rings in your ear as he tears you away from the window. “Let’s eat.”

You were pleasantly surprised that they had room service here when Namjoon brought it up. “Is this a hotel or an apartment?”

“Doubles as both.” He mentions, “Usually staff from out of town that come here for work utilise the apartments. High security level apartments like this one are only by special request.”

And you thought it was fancy enough from the outside.

Jungkook fills your plate for you; mashed potatoes, steak, some truffle fries, eggs. And he would’ve kept going had you not stopped him. He only smiles when your hand tugs on his elbow and sets the plate in front of you.

“What about me?” Namjoon hands his plate out.

“You have hands, do it yourself.” Jungkook spits out, shoving his plate away and filling up his own.

Namjoon shakes his head. “Rude.”

“Shut up. She’s injured.” Jungkook says, pointing to the mark on your head.

Namjoon’s mouth parts open and he pulls his sleeve over his shoulder to reveal a healing wound. “I got shot, dickhead. Twice!”

“It’s different.” Jungkook stuffs his mouth with food and Namjoon scoffs.

You’ve missed this more than you thought. “I guess some things never change.”

“Yeah, he is as annoying as ever.” Jungkook says with his mouth full.

While Namjoon mocks him in a silly voice, you stare at the side profile of your boyfriend. He’s lost a bit of weight, hair a little bit shorter like he just had a trim, and his eyes are a little sunken from lack of sleep. The traces of healed cuts and bruises remain on his arms and face. Naturally, your fingers brush against them and he turns at your touch, leaning his cheek into your open palm.

Staring into his eyes, you feel a sudden change in your body and flashes of that night appear before your eyes. The scene of him running towards you and the sound of the gunshot in your ear, causes you to flinch. Jungkook makes a grab for your hand and squeezes it in his.

Your breathing slowly goes back to normal. Realising that tears are starting to form again, you force a smile to shake it off. “I guess I’m not fully recovered yet…”

“Of course not.” Jungkook pulls you closer to him, eyes reflecting the worry in yours. “Do you know how scared I was…I thought I told you to go home. What happened?”

“We did. Mia and I. But Taeho was waiting for us at the apartment and they threatened to hurt Hana.” You explain. “I had no choice.”

“He escaped from the warehouse raid,” Namjoon adds, “I guess he went straight to Kim and got his boys to go get you.”

Jungkook sighs. “That psycho. He almost killed you.”

“Well he’s dead now.” Namjoon points out. “Don’t let him stay in your mind rent free. You both are lucky to be alive.”

“He shot at you didn’t he?” You ask Jungkook. “I heard the gunshot but I blacked out…I thought it had to be either you or me.”

“Luckily he was too delirious to aim properly otherwise it could’ve been fata⎼” Namjoon’s words disappear back into his throat when Jungkook shoots him a vicious scowl.

“It hit you?” Your eyes roam his body, visibly distressed. You were right. He did get hurt. “Where?”

Reluctantly, Jungkook lifts his shirt, revealing the wound on his lower right abdomen. You let out a heavy exhale, brows knitted in the way it does when you get stressed. He releases his shirt before you spiral. “I’m getting better.”

“Wait but Hoseok and Hana said you weren’t at the hospital that night. They asked around for you but there was nothing in the records.” You say, “Everyone thinks you got away…”

“They were looking for me?”

“Of course, everyone’s worried.”

The corners of Jungkook’s lips raise slightly at the thought of it. He hadn’t considered that anyone other than you was looking for him.

“We have our own care facility, so we brought him there.” Namjoon states, raising his eyebrows when you tilt your head in confusion.

“Oh.” The wheels in your mind start turning. “Why?”

“Because he got shot.” Namjoon’s face matches yours in confusion at your question.

“Why not the hospital like everyone else?”

It doesn’t show, but Namjoon is amazed at your ability to sniff out the little details. Of course you’d wonder why he was brought elsewhere to be treated. You were never someone who would let things be. He should know this by now.

“Is it because he’s in police custody now?”

Namjoon’s eyes momentarily shift to Jungkook sitting across from him. “He is, technically. Just not in the way you’re thinking of.”

“I’m still under supervision.” Jungkook adds.

“I don’t get it.” You sigh, setting your utensils down. There’s clearly something they’re not telling you. “Are you in trouble or not? And why are you keeping him here?”

“Because I couldn’t have done it without Jungkook. He saved my life in that alley.”

You nod your head slowly, “So because of that, they’re giving him leniency?”

Jungkook focuses on the table, sporting a tiny smile. Namjoon’s eager to elaborate once again, “Remember what I said in the car? About my informant?”

You blink. Perhaps your mind just refuses to believe it till you hear it.

“Jungkook’s my informant.”

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