#the illusion of safety

[toca144]

Hey. I graduated.

[tomorrowillbeyou]

thrice - the illusion of safety cd booklet

[thepartyponies]

CLIP OF THE MOMENT FROM THIS POST THAT ME AND @tomorrowillbeyou WERE BOTH SEPARATELY THINKING OF

from the Thrice 20th Anniversary of the Illusion of Safety show at the House of Blues Anaheim

[punkrockmixtapes]

Thrice - In Years To Come 

I want to write the perfect song, and play it just for you While you're tangled up in sleep I need you more that I'll ever know

[erin-gilberts]

Prim's name wasn't the only one in the reaping bowl because the entire point of Prim being chosen is to show that life in Panem is random and cruel. These kids truly are selected and die for nothing, based on nothing, most of the time. There is often no grand cosmic plan or 4D chess conspiracy at play in awful circumstances unfolding, just systems of oppression working as they were designed. And you can do everything right to the letter - be the youngest eligible tribute from an unknown family whose name is only in the bowl once, not take out any tesserae - but it still won't save you.

[trans-jon-rights]

Honestly at this point I'd really like to know the fucking salary at the O.I.A.R.

Because while in Archives, it is stated at some point that there was a pay upgrade to work in the Archives, which incitated people to take the position to later be stuck unable to quit, on the Protocol side we have the O.I.A.R, which is civil service.

It doesn't pay well. Even though the Institute in TMA is technically a non-profit organisation, I'm still pretty sure any position there pays better than a civil service job. So why did Alice stay ?

She isn't stupid, and maybe has a degree -- and even if she didn't, there are still jobs that doesn't need a degree out there. And she knows that working there is dangerous, which is why she turns a blind eye and pretend not to care.

But here's the thing : many of her lines suggest that at some point she did care. She probably was exactly like Jon, looking for answers and trying to know what was behind those cases, why were there recurring names, places, everything !

But she stopped, she decided to shut it down and turn a blind eye. My question is : why ? Why not quit ? She knows it's dangerous, she knows there are things that could get her killed, so why stay when the safest option is to quit and leave it behind ? And why tell Sam to come work there ? I mean, I get that he needed help, but if I knew my job was dangerous and that my friend was overly curious, I wouldn't recommend them to come here.

So I'm really asking how my the government pays her to stay.

[emdotcom]

Yeah, so while I was on my "I'm going to read into Vanny/Vanessa as much as possible" journey, I noticed an odd quirk in her animations in how she moves. At first, I thought it reminded me of a ballerina, 'cause she's kinda tip-toeing, & she has this way of keeping her head & chest in one place as she moves, but I looked again & realized --

That's not ballet! She's doing a tight-rope act. Like, look at this one:

This is like standing up on the wooden boards before you do the actual tight-rope walking, & the ring leader is hyping you up as you do some fun movement for the crowds. &, then, these:

These are all instances where she walks with one foot directly in front of the other. In that third, she's doing the "woaaah" wiggly-ass balance movements & everything, as if she's swaying up at the top of the tent, even though she's down on solid ground.

Idk, I feel like the way her feet are placed isn't accurate (pretty sure they should be pointed left & right, not both forwards...) doesn't make this 100% correct, but I like it. It also connects back with her first SB teaser, wherein she's up in the rafters.

[uncanny-tranny]

It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.

When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.

[pianokantzart]

What do you think the status of "nothing can hurt us as long as we're together" is for the bros? What I mean is- I see a lot of pre-canon fics use that line, and I love it, but based on the way Luigi's face slowly lit up when Mario said it to him as they were flying through the warp pipe, I think that might have been the first time either of them ever said it, and then it stuck after that as they pulled it out in different high-stakes situations lol

I'm with you. I think that moment in the warp pipe was the first time it was said.

That was, no doubt, the first time they were ever in a situation that bizarre and unpredictable. Nothing but a reassurance that sincere and heartfelt was going to help Luigi calm down.

Then there's Luigi's reaction, that look of utter surprise that slowly turns into a heartened smile.

That's not the face of someone whose heard that same sentiment a hundred times before.

[bononstar]

ah armand there is a part of you that wants desperately to die but the part of you that wants proof that you can be lovable despite everything grows and grows and grows doesn’t it

[furiousgoldfish]

Getting disillusioned from your past is an extremely painful experience, and it hurts even worse when we're expected to not feel hurt from that.

What do you mean parents who I struggled to impress and who I loved all my life actually didn't care about me at all. What do you mean I was alone during the formative years of my life and nobody was in my corner and I grew up severely damaged by neglect and trauma due to it. What do you mean I haven't experience genuine love for any moment of my life.

I was in there, dreaming. I was building a life from straws and sand that I was able to grasp and glue together into an illusion of a family. I kept telling myself 'okay, but if this worse thing happened, then I would be protected, then it would be taken seriously, then it would matter.' I thought that's what we were all supposed to do? Every single time I said a word I would hear 'They're your parents and they're just doing what's best for you', what do you mean it was all a lie, every single time?

I was encouraged to put together a life that felt bearable to grow up in, so I wouldn't have to live in the worst possible option. The alternative was living in the world where every single person is an active danger to me and I am supposed to feel tense and terrified for every second of my life. To find out now, that it was not real? That I made everything up, that people were actively telling me to keep making it up, and to now find out I was alone all along, and I was hurt, for a long time, and nobody did anything? I was betrayed by every single person around me, since I was a baby? Everything I held onto was imaginary, every bit of trust and hope and love I held onto so dearly, never even existed?

That feels like wrenching hope out of my shaking arms when I'm still holding onto it to live. It feels like the entire inner world crashed and I don't know who anyone is, and I can't trust myself to find out, because I was wrong every single time I tried. Every event turns into pain. Every memory hurts like a burning wound. It's not 'starting over', it's being plunged into depth and the world closing in on you, showing you a face that you couldn't let yourself see because it would have broken you. And it's breaking you now.

To finally see your situation and your past as traumatic and devastating as it was, it's almost completely unbearable. Nobody should be expected to face that on somebody else's terms, or to suddenly be okay with it. It's not only a loss of an illusion, it's a loss of one's entire past, only to be replaced with a cruel, empty and abandonment-filled version. It's to realize you've been dreaming yourself a family while being alone in a dark cell with rocks thrown at you.

So be gentle with people who still partly live in that illusion, or who are struggling to break out of it. Yes, living in it is dangerous and painful, but breaking out takes a toll few could accept or manage. Nobody should be pushed or hurried up to go thru this devastation. Nobody should be forced to deal with this pain.

[elfcollector]

I can’t wait for you here.  But I promise I’ll wait for you there.

LOST IN RANDOM (2021) — developed by zoink games.

[beevean]

Getting a new batch of "I'm an unlovable person and a waste of life" funny thoughts and the only thing I can do about it for now is the good ol' Mental Health Walk

In the evening. During a patron holiday which means the town is bustling and suffocating. Probably a bad idea but hey, since I'm alone I can turn back as soon as I want to. Freedom 👍

[thepartyponies]

Thrice: seen

Deadbolt: played

Merch: bought

Me: (all tuckered) out

[punkrockmixtapes]

Thrice - The Red Death

[thepoisonroom]

no one see all of us strangers unless you're ready to get bodied by the link between your childhood and your own fear of or desire for unconditional love and comfort. btw