#the i forgive you WOUNDED ME.
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listen i want to hate aziraphale for that “i forgive you” shit but every ex-christian knows it’s a canon event to be conveniently offered a leadership position just as you’re on your way out the door
#good omens#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#and you convince yourself to take it bc ‘you can do better work from within’#he’ll get out eventually guys dont worry hahaha itll be fineee 😍😍😍😍😍#the i forgive you WOUNDED ME.#STABBED ME IN MY CHEST#WHY DID HE HAVE TO SAY THAT. WHY.#WHAT WAS THERE TO FORGIVE. IM IN TEARS. BC I KNOW. BUT I DONT WANT TO BELIEVE HE WOULD SAY THAT?#AND HE DID?
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Out of sight, out of - wait.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#granny wen#a-yuan#It's always fascinating how colours translate from the page to the screen.#It would probably surprise a lot of people to see what some of these comics actually look like in physical form.#My lighter colours takes about 3-4 washes before it shows up on scan which means it tends to ripple the page.#And my yellows and oranges are drastically different colours when scanned compared to the ink colour.#There's about 20 or so comics where everyone's hair is purple - because it scanned in the exact same colour as my light grey.#Wait my book is right here in front of me so I can...yeah...Comics 57-77 were indeed purple.#This is all to say - is it not fascinating how what we see is often not the full truth of what the subject truly is?#Is it not fascinating to open another episode that reminds us that despite everyone's claims they could totally spot the evil YLLZ-#-The man walks around among them for months as no more than a man haggling for deals like the rest.#It's almost as if he's just a person. It's almost as if none of us - no matter what we do are really anything more than just a person.#Your good acts will be overtaken by how other's interpret you in negative light.#Just as easily are people willing to forgive crueler actions if they hold you in high esteem.#But what's real? Is the page I hold the real version of this comic? Is it the one you look at?#Is the man known as Wuxian the most himself when he is alone or on the battlefield?#Perhaps he is and has always been a scared orphan boy lost in the market.#I think there is no good answer to any of these questions.#But I do know that panic rising in WWX as he frantically looks for A-yuan was for more than one boy.#To be human is to have layers around a delicate center. We only really grow around our wounds from childhood.#In other words; Donkey from Shrek would also probably call Wei Wuxian an onion. I'll see myself out now.
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if everything with varric weren't enough to make rye go the level of ape shit at solas that he does (and goodness don't get me wrong it was more than enough!), forcing him to sit alone with himself in the fade and wonder if he really just saw lucanis die right in front of him with no way to know for sure added kill bill sirens in his head so loud the voice of the Maker Himself could not be heard over them if He personally peeped through the blanket of the dark to cry 'hold, hold'
(That no compunctious visitings of nature shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between the effect and it. indeed. maybe you should have thought a bit harder before making me quite so much in your own image. bitch)
#literally what was the purpose of that other than pure cruelty. solas. SOLAS#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#solas#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#Dynamic: That my keen knife see not the wound it makes#gonna make that my solas & rye tag I think. I must be cringe to be free 2: the even freer sequel#aiding and macbething. ahaha. hm. I originally wrote this at like two in the morning pls have patience with me#can you tell I'm kind of enjoying getting to go full cathartic vengeful sicko mode on this one vicariously lol#I'm getting it all out of my system so I'm ready to put on my 'compassion and forgiveness ARE important actually' gloves#for the next run when I'm redeeming him fhsdakj yeah okay I will acknowledge the clear spelling out in the narrative#that the cycle of violence and revenge *must* be broken at some point and someone must be the first to do it. I will do that.#tomorrow.#today I am digging two graves. one on top of the other so I get to bury you twice as deep and you won't get back out you *motherfucker* <3
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i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago
#like if buck had a kid and he said to eddie “theres no one in this world i trust with my kid more than you” eddie wouldve given him head#if buck had written him into his will and said “because eddie (cuz im sorry but buck loves eddies name too much to not use it)#you act like youre expendable but youre wrong“ eddie wouldve been like on his knees begging for buck to move in already#or if eddie did something reckless and after told buck he had to do it and buck just looked at him fondly and said “i know you did”#eddie wouldve dragged his ass to the nearest jewelry store to get them matching rings#or if someone off handedly mentioned how long he was dead/underground/uhhh bleeding out from his gunshot wound#and buck corrected them and said “um no actually it was 3 minutes and 17 before we got to the hospital” eddie wouldve done unspeakable#things to him in the bathroom of that underground poker club#or if eddie came out to buck and buck gave him a similar supportive little talk and said “this doesnt change a thing between us”#eddie wouldve been like “uh no actually it does get in the fucking car rn” and driven them to the courthouse so they could get married#basically#eddie says the gayest shit to buck all the time but buck just hears it as Normal Bro Things because hes never had a normal friend before so#he had nothing to really compare it to#but if buck were to say this kinda gay shit to eddie#eddie would immediately be like oh youre in love with me because eddie is a romantic and knows declarations of love when he hears them#however#buck communicates his feelings with flirting but eddie is fucking stupid and has no game and no rizz and doesnt realize hes flirting#eddie communicates his feelings with grand declarations of love but buck is fucking stupid and doesnt realize people actually care about hi#they need to flip communication styles and then theyll realize#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#get him out of there#let eddie free so he can finally have game#omg no or if eddie had done something that kinda pissed buck off and buck just looked at him after eddie apologized and said “ofc i forgive#you“ well there wouldve been something freaky going on in the firehouse closets that halloween#me thinks
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im currently in the middle of reading the book of bill and i had to put it down because the nostalgia made me cry a little…
i remember being a kid and never seeing bill as very evil. i knew his actions were wrong but in my innocent little kid brain i saw a guy that deep down just wanted a party. i firmly believed he was misunderstood. i thought that he HAD to have been hurting to be this awful— all i could think was shit like— stop being so mean, mr triangle man! ill have a party with you! you dont have to be awful because i love you!
and i know it’s ridiculous because hes literally just a cartoon villain,,, but ive always held that sympathy for him in my heart even if im older and see him more maturely— a part of me always saw myself in him. to everyone else i was so loud and strange and nobody really liked me… i found stuff that was disturbing or strange to be cool and others disliked me for it. i saw weirdmageddon as the coolest shit EVER!! i knew the way he went about things was shitty but come on man GIANT FLOATING FUCKING PYRAMID??? THAT SHIT WAS FIRE!!!!! i was fully convinced that if he just calmed the fuck down a little with the murder that he could be better—
im very critical of things nowadays, and i hate to defend any character of anything in this way because i hate my own bias, but hes so much different to me.. because i saw him as a child… because i believed he needed love… because if i had met him i wouldve told him hes so cool and he didnt need to be mean to dipper and mabel anymore because he doesnt need to hurt people to be awesome… and sure, that may be pretty unreasonable, but i feel like holding onto that empathy shaped me as a person in some crazy way. i adored him. i adored him so much i wanted him to be better. and even now reading the book, not even halfway done, i still hope he is better. i still believe in him. i still pity him somehow, because i still feel that little kid in the back of my throat.. i still feel that understanding that we are strange and loud and unbearable together…
i know its so fucking stupid but this page of the book got me bad because of the baggage hes holding that i KNEW he had been holding since i was probably like 9… especially with the added context of the axolotl poem..
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literally i want to throw up reading this I KNEW YOU WERE HURTING OLD MAN I HEARD IT IN YOUR VOICE I SAW IT ON THE SCREEN I KNEW SINCE I WAS LITTLE!!!!
chat which mental illness symptom is this because its hitting me hard..
#oh theyll never make me hate you bill cipher i will patch your wounds with love even if you deserve them even if you caused them…#i will love you like the puppy that human children tend to be#ill forgive you again and again because ive felt a pain like you have felt and i know how cruel the guilt and sorrow can make you#bill cipher#book of bill#gravity falls
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ALIEN SCARAMOUCHE WITH OVIPOSITION MERA ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME 😭 I need more, what would he look like, what are his motivations... Omg... Maybe some kidnapping going on...some experiments on humans...him studying how humans reproduce and if his race can use them... Aaaa my mind is going crazy with ideas, please do share yours too! <3
What if he doesn’t have a form of his own (something that sort of ties into canon Scaramouche’s obsession with wanting a heart and a purpose)? And maybe he’s more like a shadowy mass that can take the form of anything so long as he’s encountered said thing (i.e. made contact with it? Or maybe he has to kill the original in order to take its form? Or it’s something like a reflection where if you happen to look at him long enough he’ll have a good enough idea of how to replicate your form from staring and analyzing it.) and since he’s so dedicated to having a form that really fits, that truly feels like him, he’s continued to adapt and evolve as the years pass throughout every planet in the solar system.
Perhaps he does have a few features of his own, but maybe they’re sort of scattered?? Or they aren’t really features his species is known to have? He’s like a mixture of various things he’s observed over the time he’s spent on your planet in an effort to shape himself into something beyond the formless shadow he’s lived as for so long. Like a patchwork copycat composed of so many different parts because he’s desperately trying to understand all of these things. It’s like his version of trying on clothes and new fashion styles. So maybe he has horns or maybe cat ears because he’s seen so many stray cats and they’ve always fascinated him for some unexplainable reason (maybe in order to have these features he’s had to ingest part of the living thing he wants to replicate??? Just something a little extra horrifying for our beloved alien mouchey. <3) And maybe the only thing he has from the one who created him (Ei) is the same piercing stare in a pair of brilliantly colored eyes she graciously bestowed upon him.
Maybe Scaramouche can’t understand human emotion in the usual sense that other humans might, so he assigns flavors to these unusual feelings. When he hurts the things he likes or is interested in (cats, the human he stole his current appearance from (i.e. Kabukimono; let’s pretend they’re two separate individuals hehe), and even other gentle things or creatures who are completely innocent), the taste in his mouth is sour or bitter or so very intolerable. I think over time he hardens himself and learns to live with the foul flavors he often encounters when he attempts to blend in with humans and utterly fails because he can never replicate their emotions as well as he can copy behaviors or appearances. He starts his journey so curious and sweetly innocent, albeit murderous and eerie, and he tries so hard to learn and be good and explore the world with the eyes his mother gifted him and yet he always finds himself hurting. He hates it. It tastes terrible. It feels terrible, and he has never truly felt before. This is new.
When Scaramouche is captured by Dottore, a human scientist who is a little too dedicated to the pursuit of forbidden knowledge, he finally tastes the cruelty of humankind—learns of the lengths they’ll go to in the name of scientific breakthroughs. The researchers run dozens of tests on him. He can’t feel external or internal pain from wounds or injuries; he’s sturdy, birthed from a substance foreign to humans, intended to survive the harshest conditions. But Scaramouche feels pain—the emotional kind. He’s never felt fear; he’s what humans would call an apex predator. He’s strong. He’s never needed to feel fear, and so he doesn’t fear the unknown. He isn’t scared of the sharp tools, of the peculiar creatures he’s shown in hopes that he might replicate them and their features, nor does he fear the trajectory of this new life. The concept of ethical practices means nothing to him even though he’s aware he’s a lab rat, a grotesque curiosity that doctors poke and prod at. He reacts to everything in unique, defensive ways. He impaled a doctor through the throat with a strange shadowy spike. It moved as though it were liquid, yet it struck very solidly, sharply, deadly efficient. Dottore likens its movements and behaviors to that of an octopus’s tentacle; Scaramouche is unsure of this comparison. This is merely a shadow of something he has observed—a reflection. A cheap copy. He has never been original.
You’re the first human he meets who isn’t adorned in sterile white. No lab coat, no gloves, no goggles, no protective gear. Just clothes. Normal clothes. The both of you are separated by indestructible glass, placed in two very white rooms, and you can see one another so clearly. Scaramouche hates the purity of white because he knows that when he’s forced into a white backdrop he’s meant to stain it red. And lately he doesn’t want to break things that are undeserving of it. Perhaps he’s feeling too much. Perhaps he ought to tear these human feelings out and go back to the blank, shadowy slate he once was. How he intends to accomplish that, he has no idea.
He’s uninterested in you at first. You’re a human. He’s seen humans. He interacts with them daily. He’s killed plenty. But you spend nights in that white room and he watches you sleep. He tries to sleep in the same way you do; he has no need for sleep. He regulates his energy differently. He tries to breathe like you. He blinks at the same times you blink—or he comes awfully close. He tries to copy your movements and mannerisms. One night he presses himself to the glass and takes your form and watches you, counting every rise and fall of your chest as you lie so comfortably on the very uncomfortable cot. With hands that mirror yours, he pokes at these human features. He fits one hand in the other and pretends he’s holding your actual hand. There is no warmth, though. Humans are warm; Scaramouche is not. He’s frigid. His home planet is gloomy and cold and desolate. He thinks humans are lucky for cyclical days—for being in close proximity to the sun. There is no sunshine where he hails from. He likes the way the sun feels on him. It used to burn terribly when he first arrived on this planet. Now it’s like a hug—a hug that still singes, but a hug nonetheless. He’s never known what a hug is, but he thinks this is what it must feel like—like the burning warmth of a sun.
Scaramouche feels true, raw, animalistic, paralyzing fear when you’re taken out of the room after two weeks and replaced with a new human. You’re gone. Replaced. Are you dead? Did he kill you? Did he stare too long? He’s distraught, overcome with a horrifying emotion that has him curled and trembling in the corner of his white room (a cage if he’s ever known one). Why aren’t you here? And why is he so…restless? He can’t call it fear because he doesn’t know that word. But oh he’s scared. He’s so scared. You were the first human to smile at him, to put your hand on the glass where his rested, to sit close to the glass and eat meals alongside him. You were like the stray cats he’s interacted with: kind, soft, gentle, sweet. He’s so scared he loses the ability to remain in his human skin, and he practically melts into a shadow, clinging to the corner like glue or slime. He’s empty and alone. It tastes terrible. It feels terrible.
The humans that follow are terrified of him. Either that or they’re disgusted, baffled, cautious. He hates every one of them, so much so that he’s tried to break through the glass numerous times to dispose of them. Weeks pass; he’s forgetting your features. There are no mirrors here, so he must rely on the reflections shown in the glass. Some days he thinks he looks just like you; other days he’s certain he’s a monstrosity—a sloppily stitched version of you. The you he saw did not have pointed fangs or curling horns. He hates his reflection because it isn’t you. Most importantly, he hates that the humans he’s forced to look at are protected by this thick layer of glass. If it wasn’t so indestructible, he’d tear through every human nuisance until he reaches you.
Scaramouche is not sure how many months pass, but you return. And when you do the fear ebbs away. He feels…happy? Is that the right term? He’s pleased to see you, and for the first time in a while he returns to his human appearance—to the one he took from a young man many centuries ago. You’re back. You’re here. He’s so happy. He detaches himself from his corner and he tries to smile in the way you do. And, though it’s awkward and strange and sharp-toothed, you smile right back.
Dottore decides then that you are to be the next subject in this experiment. He’s observed Scaramouche’s reactions to you and compared them to reactions to the other humans and found that you are the best suited to this role. If anything, the alien couldn’t have picked a better specimen to adore. You’re helpless and so naïve. You need the money; it’s why you allowed yourself to live in that room for a few weeks. You were paid handsomely for it. He’ll pay you beyond handsomely if you agree to what’s next. And, really, when you’re in between a predator’s jaws do you really have much of a choice?
Scaramouche needs a human match, and the scientists need to study more than just the social biology of an alien. They promise you he won’t hurt you, and if he does it’s all right. They’re kind enough to respect the wishes of the dead. You must let Dottore know if you’d prefer a burial or a cremation. There’s nothing special in this distinction; it’s just a precautionary measure. You’ll agree to participate in this experiment whether or not you want to.
Your new home is the white room that faces Scaramouche, and after some more time and observations to ensure you won’t be killed the moment you step foot in his space the glass barrier will be lifted. Dottore wonders how Scaramouche’s kind mates and reproduces.
There’s only one way to find out.
#genshin chit chat#alien scaramouche#yandere scaramouche#scaranya#please forgive me for rambling orz#i just think there’s so much potential for aliens and scara#I PROMISE I HAVE OVIPOSITION THOUGHTS FOR HIM TOO OTL#i just wanted to world-build a little >_<#(adding more tags because i have so many ideas but!!!)#maybe you can’t kill his species in the way you might kill a human#maybe the only thing that kills his species is heartbreak (or extreme emotions)#because his species cannot handle just how overwhelming heartbreak and things like fear are#maybe because his species was never intended to feel to the extent humans feel#because scara has evolved to withstand any and all dangerous threats#he hasn’t evolved enough to defend against emotional threats#so essentially he is physically very strong but mentally/emotionally he’s weaker because he does not know how to feel or comprehend feeling#and too much of a certain emotion if felt in extreme amounts is detrimental and even fatal to him#because he doesn’t know how to protect against that or repair the damage that has been done from strong emotions#he can be beheaded and he’d easily repair the wound#but heartbreak… he can’t repair that (not after he’s formed such a strong bond with his darling)#AAAAA TOO MANY THOUGHTS
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"You're still his brother." ngl after mania, the moment seth appears in front of roman my guy will be fighting seth, not solo
#“yeah but roman hit seth with the chair” if you guys genuinely believe that it only took that to make roman forgive/forget seth man o man#my literally lost his championship because he preferred getting revenge on seth i dont think that wound is anymore near ready to close#plus i would also be bitter if my brother decided to be the shield to some random guy over me even after all oir fights and#using our gear in the match while trying to destroy the reign i build#with that being said i need my members of the shield that are in wwe together so yeah put seth in the match IDC!!!#wwe raw#sami zayn#seth rollins#roman reigns#solo sikoa
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Hey if anyone wants to check out Moving Pictures Redrawn [a fan-made remake of the first chapter of BATIM that Mike n Meatly may have ordered to be taken down? It's unsure at the moment] Guess who downloaded a copy before they did that~
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#honestly if they did order the take down um lmao tbh#I guess Id do the same it must be embarrassing for a fan to make a better game than you did literally improved your damn#flagship title bc it fucking sucks#but yeah in the name of preserving this piece of art this person mustve spent forever making hmu if u wanna download it <3<3#its genuinely so cool I hope it turns out someone was posing as the bendy devs bc like this is so awesome#to have it taken down just feels so shitty#idc if its just a better batim if I could fucking sue Meatly n Mike for selling me a piece of shit of a game#thats not fun to play buggy as hell and has some of the worst storytelling ive ever seen#then took this down bc actually we cant let ppl play chapter 1 for free anymore ugh its just salt in the wound of how shitty they r#this remake is so cool I cant believe I got it to run on my computer#the way they redesigned the general areas is so damn cool too this is genuinely such an improvement and meatly n mike should be fucking#begging on their knees for the fans to forgive them if they did take this down fuck them so so much#mike literally has flaunted his fucking wealth in the past do we really think he needs the extra 20 bucks from some poor soul#buying his elaborate scam of a game that has a broken save system really? Does he need that money? No the fuck he doesnt#ramblez
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sigh someone on twitter extolled the virtues of furiosa and said it was better than fury road. I just saw furiosa. they are wrong.
#the brilliant thing about MMFD was how it needed no backstory.#it required no explanation of who these people were or why they wanted what they wanted#that story gripped you by the throat and pulled you along for the ride and by god you took it#bleh. also I didn't really care for the numbered parts of the story that communicated the passage of time#I guess that's where the “saga” came in but I do think one of my favorite parts of MMFD was that...#it was a contained storyline! there were clearly so many other parts/facets of that world we didn't see#but we didn't need to see them becasue that wasnt the story that film was telling#and I feel like ... I dunno. MMFD was perfect. furiosa was not perfect. furiosa was not needed?#we already knew enough from MMFD about why furiosa had wound up as an imperator#seeing the full story I genuinely don't feel like I gained anything new about her and her character#everything we watch her become (or even begin as) in furiosa... all of it is apparent in MMFD#idk this movie felt extraneous. bummer!#good news is i was really worried about ATJ playing furiosa but she did fine. i have no complaints about her!#anyways anyone who wants to discuss come hit me up in the comments or reblogs or askbox whatever#I wish to dig into this lol#man that tweet got my hopes up. but i did not have the reaction to this that i wanted to have#when i saw MMFD in theaters it was a religious experience. that movie rewired my brain. I'd never seen a female action star like furiosa#all furiosa did was make me want to rewatch MMFR#also jesus christ I just realized I'd been typing MMFD for some reason. lol forgive me I'm on my phone sitting in the theater parking lot#pretend I typed MMFR that whole time
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I forgive: and I’m sorry 🌹❤️🩹
1/14/25 This is LOOOONG OVER DUE!!
I forgive God for watching me go through all I did and not stopping it because he gave me a free will and sadly I chose to be dirty with my exes and let them disrespect and abuse me. (Sorry I was a dirty girl)
I forgive my parents for not understanding what I was going through most of my life and I especially forgive my dad for being so tough on me often…. For the hurtful things he said to me when I was 25. (Sorry I didn’t always listen to you guys)
I forgive my brother for basically using me to raise his kids although I adored his kids and loved them as my own, I had no life of my own outside of his kids. I put his needs first before mine. I believe my brother truly needed me and loves me so much. I hope he never feels indebted to me!! 🌹 a gift is a gift.
I forgive Stewart for taking advantage of my family and refusing to move out after we broke up. For the fights we had and (I’m sorry I kicked you that day in the leg while you were holding the baby. I was just so frustrated at you for being so lazy and letting me take care of you while you just sit and play videos games day and night. You wouldn’t marry me or support me. Was also upset you wouldn’t move out after I broke up with you! I had no independence or freedom to see someone else because your clothes were still in my closet!!) I’m sorry if I hurt you at all ❤️🩹🌹
I’m sorry to Lori sorry for giving up our friendship after 20 plus years but I felt you were suffocating me. You and your mom were controlling and your mom was too judgmental and I felt you only valued my friendship because it serves you…. Didn’t feel you cared about me for the real me. I’m sorry but our friendship wasn’t a waste. I don’t regret our childhood and I love you very much I never hated you but your mom wouldn’t let me grow up 😢🌹 sorry!!!
I forgive Jesse for the 10 years I had a crush on you and chased you. Since I was 14 and yet you caused me to write a suicide note 🌹❤️🩹 (sorry I idealized you and obsessed you. )
I forgive Jake for mirroring me so much, for posting my nudes all over Twitter. For bullying me all those years and for emotionally abusing me. For trying to control me constantly and intimidate me. You had me in fear. I forgive all the times you yelled or raised your voice at me over the phone when we talked and made me nervous. You lied too and even tried to make me believe you were Jesse…. ( Sorry if I was ever leading you on or racist towards you. Sorry I couldn’t make myself attracted to you. I like your friendship sometimes and your attention but I didn’t see myself dating or being with you. Plus you scared me!)
I forgive Cody for the intense love-bombing you did TWICE, for all the lies, betrayal and abuse. For dumping me twice and ultimately ghosting me. I forgive you for making me believe we had something really special but then giving me all these reasons why we can’t be together🥺❤️🩹🌹(I’m sorry I couldn’t understand all your disorders to better take care of your heart when we talked and sorry I obsessed you and chased you. I only thought you were so special but I didn’t know the real you after all. I didn’t know your full story, only what you told me. I thought you trusted me enough not to shut me out but I was wrong)
I forgive Andrew for your actions never matching your words. For dumping all your stress on me and making me feel bad for all the pressure you claim to have had surrounding school and your parents. I forgive you for the days you ignored me and even left me on read. For objectifying me and making me feel like your sex toy. I forgive you for rejecting me when I tried to plan to come visit your campus to be with you. I forgive you for lying and cheating. I forgive you for leading me on as you said you pretended all your feelings. 😭😭 I forgive all the gaslighting and confusion you caused me. I forgive when you never would break up with me but yet you didn’t even cry or seem upset when I did the breaking up. I forgive you for invalidating all my feelings and down playing my mental health. For making me walk on eggs shells with you, constantly feeling I have to be perfect for you! I forgive you for causing me so much anxiety, when you constantly cried “you were unworthy of me.” You had me so anxious, I took long walks and couldn’t remember to eat. I forgive you for ruining every holiday I tried to spend with you especially v-day 😢 you made me feel bad when you said “you never get time to yourself” and chose video games over me!!! I forgive how you neglected me and how you never posted about me on ANY of your socials but you posted the next girl all over AND you took her to kings island ❤️🩹❤️🩹😢 (I thought we were going to go there together cuz we always talked about it so it felt like a stab in my back) I forgive you for making me wanna harm myself. How you sat there with me during a suicide attack and let me believe something is wrong with me…. 😭😢
HOWEVER DREW, I’m sorry I was so obsessed with you, idealized you and was so dirty with you. I’m sorry I didn’t understand when you got upset that I found your mom’s Facebook. I just wanted to know more about you and get closer to you because I loved you babe soooo much. I was so confused and sad how you promised I was your priority but yet you always made me feel like I was bothering you…. You always seemed so irritated towards me and eventually I believed you hated my guts ❤️🩹 I only blocked your number to set you free!!! You didn’t seem interested in me even though you were messing with my head. I forgive you for making me feel so damaged and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to forgive you and understand some things. I’m sorry I was so angry at you for so long 🌹
I FORGIVE MYSELF for the years I put myself down. I was just trying to beat everyone else to it. I’m sorry we were labeled and made to feel stupid. I’m sorry we felt so misunderstood so long ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹🌹 I’m sorry you felt like your dad was often too tough on you and not letting you be yourself. I’m sorry we trusted the wrong people and didn’t stand up for ourselves although you believed you loved people and wanted the best for them…. Sorry we were so obsessed with these men. Sorry I was addicted to porn most of my life. I’m sorry for abandoning myself and for being suicidal for those men. Sorry I just didn’t know back then what I know now. We did the best we could with the knowledge we had. Sorry you were so stubborn and set on always doing things your way and not the normal way. Sorry we took dirty photos for all these strangers. Sorry you hated yourself so much for so long. Sorry it’s been so hard to get over Andrew and Cody. Sorry I romanticized those relationships. Sorry I hurt you so deep. I’m so sorry and I do love you so much I know I don’t feel it yet but it’s true. I’m soooooo sooooo sorry and I know I will forgive myself and keep going. I’m sorry you’re so tired ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹🌹
I forgive myself for all the unresolved feelings and issues I carry ❤️🩹❤️🩹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
#i’m sorry#i forgive them#i forgive myself#personal#my story#unpacking#emotional abuse#self awareness#healing journal#heartbreak#online relationships#emotional wounds#healingjourney#toxic relationship#long overdue#im sorry#im so tired#please forgive me#toxic relationships#toxic love#inner child#shadow work#forgiveness#i forgive you#lord forgive me#god im sorry#betrayal trauma#trauma brain#trauma recovery#trauma
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Life is wack. It's been 2 years since I ran away from my pain, feeling like a damn coward the whole way. I'm only just now starting to feel like a person.
#em.txt#mind you I feel like some creature pretending to be a person but I think that's closer to person than i ever considered myself#... i still think I'm a coward sometimes. on bad days. I'm trying to forgive myself for that.#i think I've mostly forgiven myself.#negative#i think this post means I will no longer be shutting up btw. sorry if you enjoyed less em.txt posts#but tbh. if you like what i rb follow the people I rb from & not me if that's the case. whatevah#i know i shouldn't say this. but I don't think the therapy helped much. probs bc i only did it for 5 months but it really didn't#the time passing did. i guess it's true -- time heals all wounds
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I saw you going insane in the tags and figure I'd give you this idea to work off from:
In double life, having had her loyalty scorned by Scott, she doesn't actually try to win it back at any point. She just tries her hardest to take everything from him (she uses his slip to take ownership of his house but beyond quoting that exact line always refers to it exclusively as *her house* not their house as well as making many attempts to get Cleo to stay with her, even when rabid she never attacked Cleo first,) attempted to make him suffer as much as possible (mostly through the powdered snow but also often in other ways,) and when they had seemingly made up she told him to his face that she planned to betray him and join the other side, so she is unflinching loyal but also incredibly vengeful if that loyalty is tossed away and discarded.
LITERALLY. SHE DRIVES ME SO FUCKING CRAZY I CANT WITH THIS. its almost like she embodies the parts of scott and cleo people associate them with and went absolutely batshit hogwild with it. scott's unwavering loyalty + cleo's bloodthirsty vengeance + pearl's own tendency to fixate ALL that shit towards one and a half of a person and be fucking unhinged while doing it = whatever the fuck dl!pearl was on. she forgives scott at the very last minute when she thinks scott gave up the victory for her BUT by the time limlife comes around you can tell shes not completely over it. like i fucking cant with these two. i CANNOT. the way the two of them work how when together they're unstoppable and loyal to the bitter end but simply by the nature of how they are once betrayed their relationship can NEVER go back to the way it once was. they're two sides of the same coin. pearl is devoted the way scott is loyal and scott is petty the way pearl is vengeful.
like seriously just typing this out i just realised??? the traits many people associate with scott???? how petty he is and how loyal he is???? pearl has it too. the thing with her is that with her she takes it to the extreme and always to one person only. just take a look at her and impulse in limlife. impulse kills her once(1) and she DOES NOT let go of that grudge for the rest of the entire fucking series. im not joking rewatch the whole fucking thing again and count the number of times she declares wanting to kill impulse after the boogie kill. scott might do it more frequently but when pearl hates someone shes never letting that shit go
and the fact that she dies this season, underwater, stabbed by scott, trashing around and yelling "this isnt fair"? i wonder if that's another grudge she'll be keeping for a lifetime
#limited life smp#pearlescentmoon#scott smajor#yknow what i feel like it deserves the tag#galaxy duo#mcyt#god im so fucking insane about these two#they'll never be on friendly terms ever again probably given everything that happened in dl but GOD DO I FUCKING WISH THEY WILL 😭😭😭#DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT DRIVES ME NUTS WHEN THE HC X ESMP THING HAPPENED AND PEARL GOT TELEPORTED TO CHROMIA#AMD THEY DIDNT EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER 😭😭😭😭#they are probably never gonna be able to share a room without dreaming of enacting violence on the other ever again jfc i CANNOT#I CANNOT WITH THEM#something something forgiveness cant mend that wound in your heart forgiveness cant make that pain you felt never exist forgiveness#forgiveness cant fix what happened between the two of you#the wound may heal but the scar will still ache and you cant just pretend the hurt didnt happen and AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH THESE TWO#asks#joey's asks
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having absolute hysterics about warwick and york's matching armour in this production. his & his armour for you and bae as you finally set out to place him on his rightful throne (and so become the greatest man in england but the king) <3
(henry vi part 2 1983 dir jane howell btw it's so fucking good)
#the york sons and salisbury all wear dark brown and then you have The power couple in red to contrast henry in cool greens#the costume design in this version does commit some crimes (it was the 80s it's not its fault) but for this I forgive it everything#made myself breathless with elated cackles this was more than I could have hoped and dreamed#the step dad vibes on warwick in this one. unspeakable. the york boys' frightfully tall and lanky bonus father#also york's eyes going cold and hard as fucking *stone* when clifford goes for richard jr. oh my GOD#bernard hill the actor that you were..............#henry vi part 2#shakespeare#I can't believe this staging has made me a wholehearted yorkist for the duration this is so embarrassing#I cheered when salisbury came in at the end. I was like 'nothing better fucking happen to him' as york fought clifford#even while knowing EXACTLY what happens to him. the power of theater. part 3 is going to kill me#richard being the first to run to their dad and him flinging his arms open to welcome him aaaaaaaah#the leg wound from clifford making them limp in similar ways. my heart is going to be crushed like an aluminium can this sucks
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Every time i see ads for language courses, I'm like, ooooh, should i?? Maybe it would be easier learning the language from someone whose job is to teach it? But then i remember i "studied" hebrew for 4 years in college, and all i graduated with were basic grammar rules and like 30 words.
#langblr#learning languages#saw an ad that was like “2 languages at the price of 1 !!!” and it opened old wounds#studyblr#never mind the fact that the education system forces you to cram as much as possible only to let go of that as soon as the exams are over#if you get stuck with someone who doesn’t even want to teach or feels like teaching is a burden then forget about it#i will never forgive the idiot who “taught” me hebrew during college.#that moron acted like he knew it all and then went ahead and taught us nothing#AND then started taunting us about the fact that we knew nothing#- “gotta admit his test were easy tho!”#yeah thats because they were the same things over and over and over#.....anyway#self study is not bad at all. i go st my own pace. learn what i want when i want. sometimes i find ways to test myself other times no#but thats ok. its the grammar and having no one to practice the language with thats difficult but fuck it we ball i guess
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TAGS MASTERPOST. ━ below the cut is a master post of all main & relationship tags used across blogs. all MAIN tags are used the same regardless of blog. all dynamic tags are sorted based on blog and URL. this will be updated with any new tags made. dynamic tags' urls and muses will be adjusted as noticed/requested, but it's very likely I won't notice all of them! if you see something, say something!
MAIN TAGS.
━ ♔ you sing but only the pavement listens : ic.
━ ♔ love will cut you & ask you to carry on singing : musing.
━ ♔ blooming forth in every color : prompts.
━ ♔ your slightly mad sea-captain : ooc.
━ ♔ to jump from anywhere & make it home : threads.
━ ♔ eyes roll away like hard green chestnuts : visage.
━ ♔ wanting like flesh knitting over a wound : xxx.
━ ♔ til there’s nothing left to love but yourself : promos.
━ ♔ on such longing i couldn’t spit out : shipping.
━ ♔ shielding your eyes from the bright noon-light : studies.
━ ♔ ass-to-speech can’t save you now : crack.
━ ♔ the new green of spring is shimmering : dash.
━ ♔ the world grows green again when you smile : games.
━ ♔ watch me hold them to the light : saved.
━ ♔ the sun has made them warm : wishlist.
━ ♔ messengers and heralds of the extraordinary : important.
━ ♔ & hunt something you have a hope of killing : psa.
━ ♔ cardinals with snow-brushed wings : asks.
DYNAMIC TAGS: QUILLHEEL.
━ ♔ And it all falls into frame; close enough to see / the blue rings of my eyes as I say / something ugly. ━ JEAN&HARRY: playedbetter
━ ♔ Am I still waiting like a / lamb to the slaughter / does your God believe in you? ━ AKARI&VOLO: ofeggies ━ ♔ Why must this happen? why must this be? I dream of space & time and wake up in 2D ━ MONIKA&NATSUKI: ofeggies ━ ♔ A mannequin adrift at sea / I think perhaps things might be better off this way ━ CHARA&ASRIEL: ofeggies ━ ♔ Slim to none: but not so slim you've got to slip between the cracks. So come back: come back. ━ WHEATLEY&CHELL: ofeggies
━ ♔ Legally gray but sweet with the phrasing / Feet in the grave; but gleefully trading ;; Feeding the cravings ━ SPAMTON&ADA: tendercoded ━ ♔ We know what we are but not what we may be. && If music be the food of love; play on ━ ROUXLS&DANDELION: manebloom
━ ♔ Dear Forgiveness; I saved a plate for you. / quit milling around the yard and come inside. ━ DUSTFINGER&MORRO: mourrow ━ ♔ It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest / with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful. ━ FRISK&CHARA: intodreams ━ ♔ And the rising tide is blasphemy in the softest second sense ━ ANN&MORTY: sweetcst ━ ♔ Can you make it stop? I don't want to: are you sure? I can’t/I won’t: a ritual/a consumption ━ LINK&GANONDORF: adventuroushero ━ ♔ Hurt too hard too long & die too young; silver dollar glistening on your tongue; may your passage be assured ━ LINK&FADO: adventuroushero ━ ♔ As if he’s trying to tell you / that there is some sort of shining star now buried deep inside you ━ LINK&DARK LINK: adventuroushero ━ ♔ the beast comes quietly for all / why do you insist on protecting the sacrificial lamb? ━ ETHAN&GANONDORF: askganondorftobadragmire
━ ♔ Its nautical themed; And theres something I’m supposed to say / But I can’t for the life of me remember what it is ━ 4&3: tripleinkstrke ━ ♔ only as cruel as the first time I realized / waving my tiny shadow over a pond to scare the copper minnows ━ SMALLFRY&3: tripleinkstrke
━ ♔ It seems unforgiving when a good thing ends; but you & I will always be back then ━ MONO&SIX: paleciity ━ ♔ They're all so busy yelling; not one of them is hearing / the hissing from the bottom of the boat ━ MONO&RUNAWAY: paleciity ━ ♔ My claws are dull now so don't be afraid / I could keep you warm as long as you can try to be brave ━ HUNTER&RUNAWAY: paleciity
━ ♔ Just believe me when I say / I mean no harm; open arms; I will keep you safe until you / Pass me the knife ━ AKECHI/YUSUKE: tenebriism ━ ♔ Girls like you; they dont come with guarantees / so if you've gotta spend your time; wont you spend it with me? ━ RYUJI&AKARI: leuvspell
━ ♔ Because you had him first / and you would let the world break its own neck if it means keeping him. ━ GANONDORF/LINK: scarfbond ━ ♔ After the foxes have known our taste; After the raven has had his say; I'd be home with you / I'd be home with you ━ LINK/GAIA: gldhte
━ ♔ Souvenez-vous la prochaine fois; Que vient la neige et le fracas / On n'va pas tous mourir ━ KIM/HARRY: playedbetter ━ ♔ When I first saw you the end was soon; to Bethlehem it slouched / & then it must’ve caught a good look at you ━ HARRY/KIM: playedbetter
━ ♔ You are sick: and you’re married: and you might be dying; but you’re holding me like water in your hands. ━ JAMIE/ETHAN: jfouler ━ ♔ Silver; crystal; carousel your effervescent touch / But everybody knows that home is where your teeth sink love ━ BILLY/STU: cardedsoul ━ ♔ You spin the barrel of a fully━loaded gun; If there's no winning might as well just have some fun! ━ JD/VERONICA: ofeggies ━ ♔ Try to get out but we just keep stickin' around / cause it’s a very good bad thing we've found. ━ CESARE/STEVE: z0mburger ━ ♔ Buzzing razor held aloft & just about to strike; I loved you before even ever I knew what love was like ━ KYLE/JACKET: campblcd
━ ♔ If you need a friend I'm sailing right behind ; like a bridge over troubled water; I will ease your mind ━ RAY/PETE: pseudoneiric ━ ♔ You wonder who’s calling your name; shame how nobody knows you / nobody knows you and neither do I ━ RAY/STEBBINS: pseudoneiric ━ ♔ Lipstick on the backseat. saliva on the dash ; I've clawed my way out of here before but I keep on coming back ━ RAY/GARY: pseudoneiric
━ ♔ Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside / We'd sit back and watch the world go by ━ SANS/O’DELLE: theyrots
DYNAMIC TAGS: AFTONTXT.
━ ♔ Oh please just hide behind this back of mine & save your helpless spite / knock on the door; access denied. ━ ALEX&MICHAEL: prizecxrner ━ ♔ You took my hand when you woke up. / we all die alone but I am so glad that you are here ━ MARI&MICHAEL: prizecxrner
#━ ♔ you sing but only the pavement listens : ic.#━ ♔ love will cut you & ask you to carry on singing : musing.#━ ♔ blooming forth in every color : prompts.#━ ♔ your slightly mad sea-captain : ooc.#━ ♔ to jump from anywhere & make it home : threads.#━ ♔ eyes roll away like hard green chestnuts : visage.#━ ♔ wanting like flesh knitting over a wound : xxx.#━ ♔ til there’s nothing left to love but yourself : promos.#━ ♔ on such longing i couldn’t spit out : shipping.#━ ♔ shielding your eyes from the bright noon-light : studies.#━ ♔ ass-to-speech can’t save you now : crack.#━ ♔ the new green of spring is shimmering : dash.#━ ♔ the world grows green again when you smile : games.#━ ♔ watch me hold them to the light : saved.#━ ♔ the sun has made them warm : wishlist.#━ ♔ messengers and heralds of the extraordinary : important.#━ ♔ & hunt something you have a hope of killing : psa.#━ ♔ cardinals with snow-brushed wings : asks.#━ ♔ And it all falls into frame; close enough to see / the blue rings of my eyes as I say / something ugly. ━ JEAN&HARRY: playedbetter#━ ♔ Am I still waiting like a / lamb to the slaughter / does your God believe in you? ━ AKARI&VOLO: ofeggies#━ ♔ Why must this happen? why must this be? I dream of space & time and wake up in 2D ━ MONIKA&NATSUKI: ofeggies#━ ♔ A mannequin adrift at sea / I think perhaps things might be better off this way ━ CHARA&ASRIEL: ofeggies#━ ♔ Slim to none: but not so slim you've got to slip between the cracks. So come back: come back. ━ WHEATLEY&CHELL: ofeggies#━ ♔ Legally gray but sweet with the phrasing / Feet in the grave; but gleefully trading ;; Feeding the cravings ━ SPAMTON&ADA: tendercoded#━ ♔ We know what we are but not what we may be. && If music be the food of love; play on ━ ROUXLS&DANDELION: manebloom#━ ♔ Dear Forgiveness; I saved a plate for you. / quit milling around the yard and come inside. ━ DUSTFINGER&MORRO: mourrow#━ ♔ It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest / with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful. ━ FRISK&CHARA: intodreams#━ ♔ And the rising tide is blasphemy in the softest second sense ━ ANN&MORTY: sweetcst#━ ♔ Can you make it stop? I don't want to: are you sure? I can’t/I won’t: a ritual/a consumption ━ LINK&GANONDORF: adventuroushero#━ ♔ Hurt too hard too long & die too young; silver dollar glistening on your tongue; may your passage be assured ━ LINK&FADO: adventuroushe
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I once again reached the 'Reynard… I beg you. Say it‘s not so. Tell me it‘s a filthy lie.' and 'To see son stand against mother rent my heart. I… I… wished to help.' part and once again have yet to recover from it. The way he begs her for another chance when she sends him away and her voice breaks when she answers 'No' is just too much.
#obviously I always forgive both of them but even then the#'You hurt me Reynard wounded me to the bloody core' is just … oof#I also love how - understandably - Meve‘s reactions differ#she‘s angry and hurt when it comes to Gascon but Reynard's betrayal DEVASTATES her#and the poor guy just wanted to help#thronebreaker#reynard#meve
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