#the husband is such a simp

[thirdmonday]

The Broken Ring : This Marriage Will Fail Anyway - Chapter 84

~ you asked me to come even if it’s for a short while. so i’m here. sorry i’m a little late though. it was the first time you said you missed me.

[moonflowergayy]

He’s just an angel I know. (aziraphale's version || insp.)

[joycrispy]

One thing I love about Crowley --never stated, but consistently shown-- is that he is, at heart, an engineer.

I have a few different things to say about that. Let's unpack them.

As the Unnamed Angel, we see his designs for the Pillars of Creation are millions of pages long, comprised of cramped text, footnotes, diagrams, schematics, etc. It's very...Renaissance polymath, in the way it implies a particular intersection of artist and inventor.

Also: in the naked romanticism with which he views his stars.

We already knew he made stars, but in s2 we learn that he did NOT sculpt each of them by hand. He designed a nebula ("a star factory," he says) that will form several thousand young stars and proto-planets, and all --aside from getting the 'factory' running-- without him lifting a finger. We also learn that these young stars and proto-planets stand in contrast to those made by other angels, which are going to come 'pre-aged.'

...I'm reminded of Hastur and Ligur's approach to temptations. Damning one human soul at a time, devoting singular attention to it over the course of years or decades, and how that stands in contrast to Crowley's reliance on, quote, 'knock-on effects.'

Ligur: It's not exactly...craftsmanship. Crowley: Head office don't seem to mind. They love me down there.

Hm.

I'm also reminded of the M25.

The M25 may not be as grand as a nebula (sentences you only say in GOmens fandom...), but LIKE his nebula it's an intricate, self-sustaining engine that does Crowley's work for him, many times over. Again.

That's some pretty neat characterization --and so is the indication towards Crowley's disinterest in victimizing anyone tempting individual people. It takes a considerable amount of planning and effort (and creeping about in wellies), but in accordance with his design the M25 generates a constant stream of low-grade evil on a gigantic scale.

Cumulatively gigantic, that is. Individually? Negligible.

But no other demon understands human nature well enough to parse that one million ticked-off motorists are not, in any meaningful way, actually equivalent to one dictator, or one mass-murderer, or even one little influential regressive. That's the trick of it. Crowley gets Hell's approval (which he NEEDS to survive, and to maintain the degree of freedom he's eked out for himself), and at the same time ensures that any actual ~Evil Influence~ is spread nice and thin.

It's some clever machinery. And he knows it, too:

The Unnamed Angel and Crowley are both proud of their ideas.

(musings on professional pride, Leonardo da Vinci, the crank handle, and 'the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale' under the cut)

In the 1970's Crowley gives a presentation on the M25, projector and all, to a room full of increasingly impatient demons. Maybe the presentation was work-ordered; the 'can I hear a WAHOO?' definitely wasn't.

Before the Beginning, the Unnamed Angel can barely contain his excitement about his nebula. Aziraphale manages a baffled-but-polite, "....That's nice... :)"

11 years ago, Hastur and Ligur want to 'tell the deeds of the day,' and Crowley smiles to himself because (according to the script-book) he knows he has 'the best one.'

(Naturally, his 'deed' has nothing to do with tempting anybody, and everything to do with setting up a human-powered Rube-Goldberg machine of petty annoyance. Oodles of 'Evil' generated; very little harm done.)

Hastur and Ligur don't get it, of course. That's also consistent.

Nobody ever knows what the hell he's talking about.

It didn't make it on-screen, but, in both the novel AND the script-book, Crowley was friends with Leonardo da Vinci. The quintessential Renaissance polymath. That's where he got his drawing of the Mona Lisa --they're getting very drunk together, and Crowley picks up the 'most beautiful' of the preliminary sketches. He wants to buy it. Leonardo agrees almost off-the-cuff, very casual, because they're friends, and because he has bigger fish to fry than haggling over a doodle:

He goes, "Now, explain this helicopter thingie again, will you?" Because he's an engineer, too.

(It is 1519 at the latest, in this scene. Why the FUCK would Crowley know about helicopters, and be able to explain them, comprehensively, to Leonardo da Vinci?

...Well. I choose to believe he got bored one day and worked it out. Look, if you know how to build a nebula, you can probably handle aerodynamics. And anyway, I think it's telling that this is his idea of shooting the shit. 'A drunken mind speaks a sober heart,' and all. He probably babbled about Aziraphale long enough to make poor Leo sick)

Apart from Aziraphale, Leonardo da Vinci is the only person Crowley has any keepsakes or mementos of.

Think about that, though. Aziraphale's bookshop is bursting with letters, paintings, busts, and personalized signatures memorializing all the humans he's known and befriended over 6000 years (indeed: Aziraphale has living human friends up and down Whickber Street. He's part of a community).

Crowley doesn't have any of that. It's just the stone albatross from the Church (for pining), the infamous gay sex statue (for spicy pining), the houseplants (for roleplaying his deepest trauma over and over, as one does), and this one piece of artwork, inscribed, "To my friend Anthony from your friend Leo da V."

To me, at least, that suggests a level of attachment that seems to be rare for Crowley.

...Maybe he liked having someone to talk shop with? Someone who was interested? Someone engaged enough to ask questions when they didn't immediately understand?

...Anyway.

There's also the matter of the crank handle.

This thing:

This is one of the subtler changes from the book. In the book, Crowley knows Satan is coming and, desperate, arms himself with a tire iron. It's the best he can do. He's not Aziraphale; he wasn't made to wield a flaming sword.

The show, IMO, improves on this considerably. Now he, like Aziraphale, gets to face annihilation with what he was made for in his hand. And it's not a weapon, not even an improvised one like the tire iron.

He made stars with it.

[both gifs by @fuckyeahgoodomens]

If you Google 'crank handle,' you'll get variations on this:

Crank handles have been around for centuries. Consisting of a mechanical arm that's connected to a perpendicular rotating shaft, they are designed to convert circular motion into rotary or reciprocating motion.

Which is to say they're one of the 'simple machines,' like a lever or a pulley; the bread and butter of engineering. You'll also get a list of uses for a crank handle, archaic and modern. Among them: cranking up the engine of an old-fashioned car... say, a 1933 Bentley. That's what Crowley has been using his for, lately. But he's had it since he was an angel and he's still, it seems, very capable of it's angelic applications.

Stopping time. For instance.

(This is conjecture on my part, but, I like to imagine that Crowley has the ability to stop time for the same reason I can --and should-- unplug my computer before I perform maintenance on it. Time and Space are a matched set, after all, and in his designs in particular, one feeds into the other.)

I know everyone has already said this, but: I REALLY LIKE that when he needs to channel the heights of his power, he does so not with a weapon but with a tool. Practically with a little handheld metaphor for ingenuity. One from long-lost days when he made beautiful things.

(And he loved it. Still loves it --he incorporated that metaphor into the Bentley, didn't he?)

Let Aziraphale rock up to the apocalypse with a weapon: he has his own compelling thematic reasons to do exactly that. Crowley's story is different, and fighting isn't the only way to express defiance. And if you've been condemned as a demon and assumed to be destructive by your very nature, what better way than this?

He made stars. They didn't manage to take that from him.

Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are fighters, really --they have no intention of fighting in any war. They'll annoy everyone until there's no war to fight in, for a start. But between the two, if one must be, then that one is Aziraphale. Principality of the Earth, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Wielder of the Flaming Sword... all that stuff. Even if he'd prefer not to, it's very clear that Aziraphale can rise to the occasion, if he must.

Crowley was never that kind of angel. He wasn't a Principality. He doesn't have a sword.

...And yet.

It's Crowley who protects. He's the one who paces, who stands guard, who circles Aziraphale and glares out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near.

In light of everything else I've said here, I think that's interesting.

Obviously part of it is that Aziraphale enjoys it and, you know, good for him. He's living his best life, no doubt no doubt no doubt. But what about Crowley? What's driving that behavior, really?

Have you heard the phrase, 'loved to the point of invention'? Well, what if 'the point of invention' was where you started? What if where you end up involves glaring out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near? What is that, in relation to the bright-eyed thing you used to be?

What do we name the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale?

...Thinking about how an excitable angel with three million pages of star design he wants to tell you all about...becomes a guard dog. Is all.

[its-ate-oclock-somewhere]

absolutely wild that Bryan Fuller did this on national television

[dommevinee]

I’m the best thing in your miserable life

[hawkinsbnbg]

Rockstar Eddie Munson had a youtube channel where he uploaded short vlogs about him and his husband.

Sometimes it was an inside joke they shared, Eddie would say “elegante” in a perfect Spanish accent and Steve would giggle until his face turned red, leaving their audience confused.

Today, it was Steve recording their video. He did his little wave at the camera and then aimed it at Eddie who was lounging on the couch, reading a thick book with glasses.

Steve: Babe,

Eddie, tilting his head slightly: Yeah?

Steve: I’m always right, isn’t it?

Eddie, still unaware he’s being recorded: Depends on the context. *pauses for 3 seconds and blinks* Actually, I think you’ll be right in any context.

Steve, laughing behind the camera: Then what if I say ABBA is superior to Black Sabbath?

Eddie, finally looking up from his book and staring at the camera dead in the eyes: That's not context. That’s blasphemy.

Steve, turning the camera back to himself: See? All men do is lie.

Eddie, in the background: I always love you, sweetheart, but there got to be a limit—

The video ended before Steve’s response could be heard. But everyone knew it was all fine, because the next day, Eddie Munson and his husband were spotted happily making eyes over a milkshake in some random diner.

[youryurigoddess]

Imagine the amount of Good Omens relationship drama that could have been avoided with Aziraphale conducting one simple Google search and finding undeniable proof that Crowley is interested in him.

Crowley rubs his chin while watching Aziraphale, walks in a suspiciously undulating way, circles around his angel protectively, pushes and nudges him.

The biting part though? Remains to be seen.

[livhowlett]

I think Crowley opened a restaurant to try and lure Aziraphale back to earth.

Good luck Crowley

[voidzpng]

I started watching the Lego show

[soul-shenanigans]

IT'S THE SPOOKIEST DAY OF THE SPOOKIEST MONTH!!!! IT'S THE SPOOKFEST BOB-! GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP

Happy Halloween Y'all!

[bnnywngs]

i feel like, actually, i know that wei wuxian is definitely the more serious parent between him and lan wangji - not as in personality, but in the way they treat their kids' needs (like studies, personal belongings, etc)

the last word deciding anything to do with their kids is wei wuxian's, he's the one everyone looks when they ask for something because as much as a fake teary eyes works wonders with lan wangji, it doesn't matter because if wei wuxian says no then it's a no

a-yuan: dad, can i go out with my friends this weekend?

lwj: ye- *looks at wwx calmly drinking his gourmet coffee* yes, you can

jingyi: dad, can i have this famous luxury brand's shoes?

lwj: *taking off his phone to buy it* *looks at wwx who's looking at him very seriously over his custom mug* ...no, you can't

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

[moonflowergayy]

He and I go back a long time. (crowley's version || insp.)

[skyrim-forever]

My toxic trait is that if they rereleased Skyrim and all they did was add more marriage candidates I’d buy it

[star-rie-watches-anime]

ukatake is so underrated. aint no way two dudes spends 6+ years babysitting high school volley-addicts and NOT get married. LIKE WYM?!?!??

[dommevinee]

Spend your morning worshipping my ass