#the house is clean and she doesnt play in water

[cereusblue]

An update:

We are gathering the parts to fix the car. Have most things, but still need a few more. We are getting help from a neighbor to do repairs but the work still needs done and parts bought to repair. It may also need towed to the guys body shop to properly pull off the damaged bumper. From what I was told, the thing that cracked in half supports the coolant system and some other stuff. The coolant system is fucked, every single chamber in it is busted. We are going to see what all we need to do when the neighbor comes back with all the parts. He also has hope in fixing my car too, which would be fucking amazing since my fiancee still works 40 minutes away every day. The prius also isn't great on snow while my car is. It's been cold as hell and nothing is melting the snow yet. I'm hoping that if we can't get the prius going, we can get mine going for the first time since 2021. The battery is probably dead, the tires need pumped, and the rusted out ties under the car need replaced. Ah also the muffler needs replace because the last place that put the original one on botched it. So once those things are done, mine should be safe to drive again. Should be, at least. Again, probably another tow-to-shop situation because the thing needs lifted up to replace the parts that are just rusted to dust. I was told the car isn't safe to drive, so my neighbor will confirm that since the other things the body shop said were a bag of lies. His dad works at another body shop (the one who we originally took it to is run by one dude and his wife). So we will take it there. My neighbor pulled the hood open and looked over the thing and said that yeah this and that are destroyed but everything else is in beautiful condition. Which is exciting. I was told the floor and everything underneath would just fucking fall out from under me. Turns out it's not the case. The guy who also originally inspected the vehicle apparently had no idea what he was talking about because he called the destroyed pieces frame ties and my neighbor laughed and said my car doesn't even have those. I know car stuff but only to a degree lol. Some of the other things I don't remember what he said. I don't even know the actual names of the parts that need replaced on my car. But that's fine, I'm leaving it to the expert lol. So a little bit of good news. May not need to meet the fundraiser goal after all, but literally anything helps to get both the poor prius and my car fixed up. Unemployment won't fucking pay me right now anyway, so, I'll take any help possible.

And as a little thanks, here's some pics of my cats, Felix and Jinx. My girls thank you too~

(Felix has a missing tooth so she makes a bulldog face sometimes lol, don't worry about her facial expression.)

https://gofund.me/96bce824

Hi, all. So, I've had a day from hell and I'm too exhausted to re-explain on another platform. But here, I'll copy paste the story here. TLDR at the bottom. If you can't help, pass it on. Literally everything helps. Love you all.

Good day all, thank you for stopping your busy day to check my page.

Let me lay out the situation as best I can.

First off, some background for myself and my family. My fiancee and I only have(had) one functioning car between us when we took in a family member of his in an emergency CPS case. We are trying our hardest to take care of her and teach her how to be a person, but our schedules and only having one vehicle has made that a struggle. She has gotten a job just last week and is working hard to get on her feet. It's great and we are very proud of her! It's part time for the time being while she learns how to manage finances and how the world works.

However, since October things have started taking a turn for the worse. Between my fiancee and I, we both worked minimum wage and in October I bent over to put on a shoe and my back made a horrible crack noise. I went to the ER in immense pain and despite having insurance, I still got dumped with a hefty bill that to this day I am still trying to pay off. I have gone through physical therapy as requested by my doctor, since he didn't want to operate on someone of my age. However, it did nothing but agitate the problem. While I can now move around again, bending over and lifting anything past 15 pounds is strenuous. I'm in pain every single day and even sitting up is difficult most days. I can't stand up for long anymore before it becomes too much on my back. But things continue to happen, as they do. I was set to come back to see my surgeon this year but on Dec 29th in the last hour of the day, my job decided that an AI system could completely take over my job and laid me off. Getting unemployment as well as answers back from my previous work has been very difficult. My benefits were cut off with no chance to refill medications or see my surgeon. So, now my continued treatment to fix my back on top of my other health issues have all been put on pause. I've been working for almost two years now to get treatment and figure out what's wrong with my health, but I am now on a desperate search for a new job.

Which leads us to today. We are already strapped for money, and on a trip to an interview and my fiancee going to work, we got taken down a gravel road that looked deceptively fine. Driving across, the ice was far deeper than it appeared and it destroyed the grill, bumper, and wheel well (I believe that's what it's called) aka part of the frame that covers the front wheels broke and are hanging. That's not where it ends. So, I took the car to get it temporarily fixed so we could hopefully figure something out to get repairs done. The car got a temporary fix, and then I proceeded to take the car to pick up my fiancee from work. He and I began our drive back home, and as we were passing train tracks a doe jumped out into the road way too close to us. She only came into view as she appeared in the lights of the car, immediately getting bodied by the car. As you can see from the image, she destroyed the hood of the car and much more. I feel horrible for the poor thing and I hope she went quickly, noticing the fur and blood on the front bumper. We managed to get the car home, but the check engine light came on. This car is a Toyota prius. Anyone who knows anything about a prius knows they are basically tin cans. So, the worry is that the cooling system is busted now too. This will exponentially increase the amount we need to pay to repair the vehicle.

The worst part is, is that this is the only car we have to go to work and for me to go to interviews. I do have a car, but it's not in running condition right now. The poor thing is a 1999 and needs some parts replaced that we have not had the funds or availability to get a list of parts and have them replaced. The car also can't move anyway right now and would need towed. The prius is our only vehicle we have, and I don't have the funds to drop on fixing it. Insurance won't pay for it as far as we have been made aware by the body shop because of the type of insurance we have.

So, this is the current estimate we have to work with in regards to repairs. The entire front, hood, coolant system, and I know a few more pieces need replaced. The prius can run and be moved to a body shop at least, but paying for it will be a nightmare. If he can't get to work, we are in major trouble. My fiancee, his little sister, and I all rely on this car for work. While I'm still looking for work, I'm very limited because of my current physical state. We've spent a lot of money on my Healthcare already and every day are worried I'm going to reach for something and have my back crack again. While we are working on Medicaid, these things are proving a slow process. They also don't cover previous medical bills when I did have insurance. So, our only choice is to live off his income currently while I'm on a search for a new job every day. Our lives depend on this one car. Especially since we live out in the woods and work is 40 minutes away.

If you've read this far, I appreciate every single second of your time. Every single hand this gofundme goes through will be a huge help. If you can't help, that's okay, please don't stress your own financials if youre in a tough spot. If you can pass this along to anyone you can, that would be more than enough. Thank you again, and I wish you all better fortune this 2024.

For those who can't read the whole thing;

TLDR; Me and my family are already going through a lot of financial troubles with my health and being laid off, our only mode of transportation is severely damaged from an unmaintained roads massive pothole and hitting a deer in the same day. Three people rely on this one vehicle for all our jobs and interviews that are far from home. Donate if you can, if not, please share and thank you so very much.

Also including another picture here for you all to see. Thank you all again, I wish you better fortune this year.

[koolades-world]

i saw the cat and corvid mc ones and i wanna see dog-like mc so bad, like one whos very loyal, loves cuddling with loved ones, if they had a tail and one of the gang came home itd be faster than a helicopter i think, if they see anyone with food theyd just come up to them with their puppy dog eyes, they just lounge around in random spots nearby the characters or even lays their head/body on them. sometimes theyll be playing with something and be possessive over it and a "Whats that in your mouth" situation comes in and they run away taking random stuff they found lying around the HoL, maybe theyre also rly playful and love playfighting and stuff like tug of war

thats just a few things that come off the top of my head lol how the mc is like is up to you, sorry if theres too much or doesnt make sense! xoxo

haha hi!!! yes of course!

this is such a fun idea. i may or may not have based this reader off my goofy goober of a dog. she's so sweet but sometimes i wonder if theres even a single thought in that head of hers haha

enjoy <3

Dog-like Mc

Lucifer

getting lock out of his bedroom always proceeds as such: being sad that you're locked out, sitting sadly in front of the door and scratching at it, lucifer feeling bad and eventually letting you in so you can sit on his bed and ruin the freshly made sheets lol

rinse and repeat the cycle nightly

the puppy dog eyes work very well on him

since he handles his brothers so often, he's good at getting you to listen when you're off in lala land or something along those lines

Mammon

he himself is kinda dog like, so the two of you get along pretty well

both of you would follow the other to the worlds end <33

you probably steal his sunglasses from time to time and he has to hunt you down to get them back, just because when he said “drop it” you accepted that as a challenge lol

the only difference in the two of you, however, is that you’re much more open with how you feel and will not hesitate to admit that you love him even if it flustered him haha

Levi

he's a little wary of having you in his room

he has lots of valuables that he treasures and while he's a little afraid you'll steal and or mess something up, he genuinely cares about you and is willing to get past that

however he did need a day away from you after you drooled on his Ruri pillow haha

after he got to know you better, he really appreciated always having an outgoing buddy to go out in public with someone that wasn't one of his brothers

Satan

sitting with him while he reads!! randomly laying your head in his lap <3

you always check out what's in his mug while he reads despite the fact that it never changes (it's always tea) but maybe one day it'll be something delicious, like chips haha

he's wary of taking you into a cat cafe, but surprisingly, all the cats love you!

now he's questioning if he's really a cat, or if he's a dog person lol

Asmo

you let him do any kind of skincare and treatments he wants on you

and he thinks it's great! until he sees you at the end of the day and it kinda looks like you swam in a mud puddle

he's not going to be the one to subject you to a bath so he always shoos you off and tells you to go clean up before you can get something else done (my dog hates water lol)

if he's ever missing one of his rather tasty smelling skincare products or a brush, or something like that, he just opens a bag of chips and summons you + beel (see below lol)

Beel

please the amount of food you're getting from him

those puppy dog eyes work so well and he can't help but give in every single time

both of you come running every time someone opens a chip bag even if it's on the other side of the house haha. if the others have issues finding you, that's how they do it quick and easy

every meal of yours is eaten together, of course

Belphie

the realest cat and dog dynamic ever!

please there's no way you're not jumping on his bed just for fun while he's sleeping in it. he's convinced it's to annoy him but it's just you being incredible oblivious and wanting to have fun

you guys are best friends. i don't make the rules haha

when you do want to nap with him, however, it's the best nap you've ever had and is probably a very cute pic

[comet-forgot-you]

Do you think you could write more for Max Fox? Smut or fluff or whatever cause there's not many fics of her that I can find on here. :(

yes omg, love love love max.

messes

max fox x reader

summary: baking cookies for max always comes with messes

warnings: 18+ pls, smut, fingering, oral, shower sex

a/n: this was supposed to be just fluff but i feel like im really bad at that 😞 this one honestly doesnt have anything too bad, super soft and fluffy at the beginning i think. do not repost for any reason.

max always got what she wanted from you. whether it be a bouquet of her favorite flowers, or a photoshoot of just you in nothing but a pair of underwear and a button up, she always got what she wanted, you were too much of a sucker for her to say no. tonight was no different. all it took was one quiet ‘please’ and slight pout on her lips for you to say yes.

which brought you to where you were now, stood in the kitchen while max sat on the counter, watching as you skillfully mixed the ingredients for cookies together. it was 2 am and max had woken up craving your chocolate chip cookies, causing her to wake you up to plead for you to make some. the house was quiet, and you assumed everyone was asleep, so you tried your best to stay quiet while making the cookies.

“you’re so nice to me,” she mumbles, swinging her feet. a smile tugs at your lips at her praises.

“only cause i love you,” you mumble. a smile breaks out on her face as she tugs your arm. you let her guide you to stand in front of her and she presses a kiss against your lips.

“you’re so cheesy,” she mutters, pulling back slightly. you roll your eyes playfully, pulling yourself away from her.

“fine, guess i’ll have these for myself then,” you joke, placing the dough on the covered cookie sheet.

“baby no, i was just kidding,” she quickly defends. “please let me have some,” she whines. she knows your threat isnt real, but she’s way too tired, and way too hungry to play around about it.

you place the tray of cookie dough in the oven before making your way to max. “you know im just messing with you, don’t take it too seriously,” you say, gently flicking her forehead. she quickly covers it with her hands.

“ow! why did you hit me? i just wanted some cookies! you’re so mean, i’m literally just a girl.” you roll your eyes at her over reaction, pressing a kiss to her lips to shush her. you reach to her side, scooping a little bit of flour out of the bag without her noticing.

you step away quickly, throwing the flour in her face. her jaw drops, “you didn’t” she mutters.

“i did,” you say proudly. it doesn’t take long before the counters and floors are covered in flour, laughs from the both of you loud enough to wake up the entire house, which is what it does.

“oh my god.” sam’s voice carries surprise and disappointment, and both of you turn to face her, laughs instantly stopping. frankie and duke stand on either side of her. sam’s eyebrows are furrowed, you and max look at each other, then back at them before bursting out into even more laughter.

—

the two of you stood in the shower, rinsing the left over flour off of your bodies. it had taken almost 2 hours, and 3 more flour attacks, for you two to finish cleaning up. the early hours of the morning were finally catching up to you. you wrapped your arms around max’s waist, the warm water cascading down your bodies. her back was flush against your front, your thumb tracing the letters of your names on her hip.

“tired?” she asks in a mumble. you nod against her shoulder, pressing kisses against her neck. she lets out a shaky breath at the feeling of your lips against her neck. your hand glides across her wet skin, the sound of shaky breathing and the shower echoing in your head. your hand reaches the heat between her thighs, scissoring your fingers against her folds.

her hips buck into your hand, a needy whine escaping her lips. you circle her clit with two fingers, your teeth sinking into the skin of her neck. you sink your fingers into her cunt, scissoring them ever so slightly. she lets put a quiet moan, grinding against the palm of your hand.

it doesnt take long for her to topple over the edge, her juices coating your fingers as the shower water get colder. you pay no mind to it, pushing her back into the wall and dropping to your knees to lap up the mess between her thighs.

as soon as the two of you are dried off, your lying in bed held in each other’s arms. limbs tangled together as sleep overtakes both of you. neither of you wake up until the early hours of the afternoon, limbs still interlocked with one another.

[sturnad]

NIGHT SHIFT p3

Pairing: y/n and Chris Sturniolo

Summary: a girl that just started working in a local cafe in her small town and a boy who just moved into her town because of his dads job.

Warnings: none

During the summer break i saw Chris a lot of times, he always or smiled or waved at me. And I ALWAYS got flustered just by his look.

-

Tomorrow is school.. FINALLY!! I will get to see Chris every day and hopefully we end up in the same class.

-

The next morning

School started at 7:30 so i got up at 5:45 to get ready. I didnt usually wake up this early but it is the first day so I kinda had to.

I rolled out of my bed and stretched. I yawned while walking to the bathroom half asleep. I turned the water on and I let my hands drown in it. It was so warm on such a cold morning, all i wanted to do is go to sleep but I couldnt so I snapped out of it and opened my eyes fully. I quickly striped my clothes off and got into the shower. I quickly showered and shaved really quickly, while I was in the shower I also brushed my teeth and cleansed the shit out of my face.

I got out and soaked up the water from my body with a clean towel. I quickly ran to my room and dressed up. *The outift*

After i dressed up i went to my vanity and did my skincare and makeup.

I put on tons of smells. Deodorant, lotion, bodymist, perfume.. It was all vanilla scented. I even showered in a vanilla scented body wash.

6:55

I packed my bags for school and took my headphones.

Before I left my house i quickly shoved a gum in my mouth before locking the door.

7:05

I sat down in the bus, listening to the music that was blasting through my headphones.

Suddenly I felt a wave of mens perfume hit me, I turned my head around to see that it was Chris. I smiled at him and waved him over.

The girls were drooling over Chris even though thats the first time they ever saw him (but who could blame them honeslty..). Some even invited Chris to sit next to them and when he sat down next to me they had the disappointed face on.

He sat down next to me and smiled..

"Hii, I love your outfit y/n" he stared.

"Thanks Chris, you look nice too" he smiled as I spoke.

While we talked i spotted a few eyes on us from behind but I just ignored them all.

After some yapping we finally arrived.

7:20

We walked together into the school and once again the girls were all over Chris. IT WAS KILLING ME INSIDE but I decided to play it off.

"I guess youre the popular guy huh?" i nudge his shoulder. He chuckles and shakes his head off.

I looked around and suddenly I felt a rush of anxiety run through my body because of all the looks people were giving me and Chris. I also heard some girls say:

"Ew does she really think he would wanna be with her?"

"Hes so hott"

"She doesnt have a chance with him hahaha"

"Do you think hes a good kisser?"

I just took deep breaths as I still felt everyones gaze on me and Chris.

Chris shruged my shoulder "you okay?"

I quickly got my mind together and responded: yeah.. im okay..

Chris nodded but still looked a bit concerned.

We got to our lockers and got our things ready for our the first class. We separated our ways since we thought were not even gonna be together in classes. I got to my class and I sat down. When a couple of minutes passed by I saw Chris walking towards me.

"What are you doing here?" i smiled as he sat down next to me

"I guess we are together" i smiled slightly even though i was filled with excitement and happiness.

-

Since it was a first day we didnt learn anything we just got our schedules and talked about our summer break.

-

1st and 2nd class finished and it was time for lunch.

I found my friends in the hallway and walked to the cafeteria with them. We sat down behind a table that was facing the table Chris was sitting behind. Chris also sat down behind his table and a group of popular boys from a soccer team joined him. He smiled even though he didnt really know what was going on. I saw some girls from a cheerleader team also sit there. I was furious. How could he be so popular i thought as i bit into my apple.

"y/n! hello!!" my friend snapped her fingers into my face.

"are you even with us?" she said.

"yeah just got a bit distracted sorry.." i replied.

"what? is it that new boy, whats his name... Chris? Right?" she smiled. "hes so fine" the other friend added.

I was so mad i just wanted to punch them all in the face but I got my act together and just nodded.

-

After school I was outside waiting for my bus to come.

I sat down in the same seat i was sitting in the morning and once again Chris sat down next to me. For some reason I was so mad at him i didnt even wanna talk to him but he didnt even do anything.

As he sat down i just looked at the window and didnt say anything.

"Omg I met this girl-" he started talking. I was this close to telling him I liked him but it was all gone. I thought he felt the same way about me. I rolled my eyes at him as he continued talking about that girl and I knew exactly who she was. Shes the popular girl at school that fucked almost every single boy in the school.

I nodded to Chris and didnt mention anything to him about her since I wanted him to find out himself.

The bus got to my house and I just rushed out, without a goodbye.

-

While I was getting ready for my ice skating practice I got a notification..

I opened it and it was from instagram. I opened the requests and saw that girl texted me.

Melanie

Leave my Chris alone before I beat you up.

Me

Your Chris? You said that about half the male population in this school that you fucked so you should be fucking ashamed of yourself, whore.

I sighed as i pressed sent. I got ready for my practice and I checked my phone for the last time before i left. That whore left me on seen. Of course thats what she always did when someone put her in her place.

I smiled to myself and left the house.

-

OKAY WTF. IM REALLY SORRY THIS IS SO BAD AND SHORT IM GONNA CRY.

if theres any mistakes please do not mind them this was kinda rushed.

I know its not even that good im really sorry but part 4 is coming soon, ily all and thanks for the support and btw requests are open please request anything!

TAGS:

@imwetforyourmom @slut4mattsturn

@junnniiieee07 @uhnanix @pxndaaa

@thebottledwatersupplier @h3arts4harry

@venusxsturnio @sturdav

[notsofriendlyfriendlyreminder]

Modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet but they're children of two upper-middle class neighbouring families. They're both in last year of high school, the only reason Juliet is one whole year younger is because she skipped a grade.

The reason the families hate eachother? They share a pond and one family wants to make it safer (make it safe for swimming and also redo a part of it so it doesnt spill out everytime the rain gets heavy) and the other wants to keep it as it is. The issue is, every time it spills out, both families are obligated to pay for the damages it makes.

This feud is generational of course. Romeo and Juliet meet at the annual HOA Christmas party, Juliet is cleaning afterwards (their family is the richer one of the two, but the dad is dead set on making her work for her money), and Romeo climbs through the window to talk to her- their first real conversation happens in a cleaning closet. The whole time, Romeos legs are hanging from the window.

The movie is not as fast paced as the play- Romeo and Juliet sneak around after school, and because I want it to be a cliche romcom, Rosaline is the mean girl of the school, wanting to get back with Romeo. She broke up with him during the summer because she found a college boyfriend, who cheated on her. Rosaline is still Juliets cousin.

The big fall out happens during Easter at another HOA party. Juliets parents find out she sent one of her application to a college in Europe, Rosaline says it's because of Romeo. Huge fight ensues, Juliet and Romeo are grounded. Juliet texts Romeo she is "running" away to her aunts house until it blows over, but as she sends it Juliets father cancels her phone subscription- the message doesn't come through.

On Monday, Rosaline tells Romeo Juliet is gone- he panics, thinking she driven to New York (Juliets dream visit). He sneaks out too and drives to NYC.

Both kids are gone and the families have a big explosive argument outside the pond. They realise they fucked up, during the fight Juliets father brings back Juliets phone subscription- Romeo gets the message, turns around.

The next morning the weather is awful, the fathers run into eachother on their way to work, arguing AGAIN. Other members come out again. Suddenly, the nurse (in this she is the cool rich aunt) arrives with both kids in her car, YELLS AT ALL OF THEM.

Cut to the scene of the pond ABSOLUTELY BREAKING AND ALL WATER LEAKING, destroying both houses.

They team up on cleaning up, helping eachother, finally killing the feud.

Romeo and Juliet both go to study in Europe.

[jewishdainix]

When I was young, younger than my mind can remember, my mother used to bathe me in laundry baskets she filled with water and called a tub. When I grew too large for them and they grew so old and cracked that we couldn'tfill them with water anymore, I started uphaling baths as a sort of a luxury. Not because of our socioecconomic status or anything - all my friends have about the same status as me and they all have small baths in their houses - its just that we have always lived in old apartments with bathrooms the size of closests and mold on the wall (to this day I am overly impressed at clean looking houses and bathrooms with enough room). My grandparents had bathtubs, and whenever we stayed at their place I would bathe in them. My grandmother would watch over me while I played with plastic boxes and made potions with soap. But I still grew and we visited less. Last time I had a bath there I sat alone. I was bored and stressed; the water went cold far too fast. I kept wanting to be on my phone. I started sitting down in the shower because my chronic pain made it impossible to stand for that long. Last time I've been at my grandparents' I nearly took a bath before realizing it wouldn't be fun, and what is likely a huge waste of water. I took a quick cold shower instead; I couldnt get the water warm. I went to some of my parents' friends' house, hours and hours drive away from our home. They had a small private pool. I floated on it, for a few minutes feelling a release from it all. My dad jokingly asked me if I havn't drowned. I sit in the shower now and wonder if in the future I'll even be able to take as many showers as I do now (once a day, because my mum won't let me go a day in summer without showering). I sometimes imagine a different me, one sitting in a large open bathtub, feelling light and calm and not lonely. One who doesnt need to bussy her mind to not feel it close in on her like a swarm of bees or tightning dirt. One I can never be. The people and chlorine in the local public pool make me sick. I'm scared of the ocean.

[fandom-nursery]

Amethyst agere headcanons

Regresses between ages 6-10 to the best of anyone's guesses. Because of how different aging world for gems it is somewhat difficult to pinpoint her age when she’s small 

Her regression happens infrequently and is usually caused by some kind of emotional breakdown 

Her regression confused and frustrated her for almost her life. The other gems didn't do it and no one could understand what was happening. It made her feels like something was wrong with her

She recently learned what regression was after Steven started doing it and was finally able to name what was happening to her which made her feel a lot better about it. She’s even met some other gems who do it and feels a lot better about it now that she knows it’s not something being “wrong” with her that causes it 

She does occasionally reverts back to only copying what other people say when little 

She’s incredibly curious and eager to explore new things. She does a lot of asking why 

Little Amethyst has none of her big memories. Occasionally she will do something or say something that only big amethyst would do or say but she really doesnt remember anything. When she comes out of headspace she can remember some of what happened but it’s foggy. Sometimes she pretends to remember less than she does to try and avoid embarrassment 

She nap will but usually she needs to have someone physically put her down for one or she will just forget that she does like to sleep while little and not do it 

She will climb and jump onto people without much thought but has mixed reactions to others picking her up. She will let pearl and garnet pick her up and occasionally steven but if anyone else tries she will usually just squirm until she is put back down 

She likes to play in water a lot be that the ocean, the car wash, the rain or one time the sink 

She actually really loves being taken to the zoo. She likes to shapeshift into every animal she sees there and mimic their sounds 

She will eat anything but she especially likes fast food and food that is brightly colored and sugary 

Incredibly messy eater. Part of it is that she is sort of learning what eating is and how to do it and part of it is just her general messiness. She hates having to have her hands and face cleaned after eating and will run away if anyone tries 

Steven bought her a few toys throughout the years that she stashed away in her piles of junk but she usually likes to play with things that aren't really meant to be toys 

She has a collection of rocks from the kindergarten that she keeps hidden from everyone. They are comforting and also help her not immediately run off to the kindergarten every time she regresses 

She has a few paci’s as a casual part of her junk collection and has tried them before but doesn’t habitually use them 

Pearl, Garnet, and Rose knew about her regression; they just didn’t have a word for it. Steven and Greg also know now as do peridot, lapis and by extension bismuth

The other amethysts from her kindergarten also know because she reached out to them about it to see if any of them had similar feelings and many of them did. She considering teaching a class on regression at little homeworld one day

Pearl and Garnet take care of her. Steven and Greg will also occasionally babysit. She even once went to Vidalias house. Most of the time however she doesn't really need a caregiver and just likes to follow people around 

She uses peoples names most of the time when little however when she refers to Rose she calls her mom. She also refers to greg as dad semi regularly and no one including her can really figure out why 

She’s done it for a very long time but never had the words to describe it exactly until very recently. She wonders if it has to do with how she was made since a lot of the other amethysts from her kindergarten also regress but the more likely answer is that she was just one of the few gems that got to have some sort of real childhood 

has occasionally used shapeshifting to turn herself fully into a baby

[dreadofthegrave]

augh. whinging about life events

this is something that would be in a circle in twitter dot corn but i don't have circles here so i will simply put it under a readmore and assume that anyone who doesnt care will simply scroll by as i gen hope they will <3

anyways. last week was vacation and coming back from vacation i got thrown in the metaphorical frying pan. person who was supposed to be watching the house fucked off w/o telling us thursday afternoon (we came back sat night) leaving our cats and her cats (inc. a 5 month old kitten in a separate room) alone. which the other cats would have been fine alone for a few days but the litterboxes were full which makes me suspect she did not clean up before she left. kitten was left with no water and no food (she gave him food but he scarfed it down immediately. because he's A Kitten) and she had the audacity to try to lie to us!! about when she left when we straight up had proof from the security system logs that she was gone for longer than she said she was <3333

did i mention this girl is supposed to be living with us for a few more weeks lol lmao

we spent an hour and a half cleaning the house from the misc toilet and vomit stains around after having already driven a collective 7 hours home from our vacation spot.

we grilled her pretty hard after she came back sunday nite at like 9:30 pm and she kinda gave a half hearted apology and i emphasized that. i agreed to the kitten staying over (which she had thrown on me like. night before we leave) (she adopted the kitten the weekend we left for vacation) with the agreement that she would be taking 100% care of him which she was Not.

and then she fucked off again for all of monday. i think she stayed monday night but she was gone the next morning. she also sprang on me monday nite that "oh do you mind if i stay at my friends house the days i have work because it's closer to my workplace" (by a magnitude of like. hours) and i said yeah because it was LATE and i was WORKING the next day so i didnt have the energy to have a long conversation. i shouldn't have said yes.

she was gone all tues and wed. she didn't have work today so she should have come back to my house but she didn't because she was with her mom. didn't tell us that btw.

now it is thurs night she's probably going to arrive back way too late for me to have a conversation with her because i go to bed early. because i wake up early for work. my sister called her and had a long convo and i sent her a text message saying the kitten has to be gone by the end of this weekend because my sister and i have been taking care of HER KITTEN this entire week basically. when i already gave her a warning for being negligent with the kitten.

tired of hearing the kitten yowling the whole day because my sister and i are both busy and we can't play with him. me because i have my desk job my sister because she's prepping for her job starting next week. regardless ITS THIS GIRLS KITTEN NOT OURS THAT WE DIDN'T AGREE TO TAKE CARE OF

i haven't even broached the topic of payment because i expected to charge her rent for the couple of weeks she was living with us but since she's only been here like. a grand total of 8 hours (when she wasn't watching the house the week we were gone) should i just charge her for using our house as a boarding house for her cats. lol. lmao. im getting some payment out of this even if i have to bug her for it

all that aside. getting grilled at work for things partially my fault and partially not my fault and feeling indignant about it. got told i wasn't communicating well enough when i have been responding to every single silly little email that was sent to me so idk. maybe check your inbox then? anyways i have to finish a report tomorrow i've been putting off for. a disgustingly long time so this is a situation i put myself in but im still mad and stressed about it

good thing i talk to my therapist tmmrw because im just gonna be like hi :) the shit hit the fan my dude

oh as an aside my brain has been bad enough this week that i decided to take a break from twitter since i figured spending my limited free time endlessly scrolling through a collapsing social media site wasn't helping my brain trying to self-cannibalize. tumblr is. Okay. for now. debating filling my queue and leaving for x amount of time but for now i need some outlet

what else. had an onslaught of flies in the house this week. killed about 20 or 30 tuesday and wednesday. thankfully there seemed to be a lot less today so i'm hoping it was just a freak accident and not a serious problem. clothes dryer has been broken (still turns, but no heat) for three weeks now. repairman has stopped by three times with a fourth time coming. i'm about ready to pull the plug after the next time he comes and just buy a new dryer even if that's going to be $$$$ because... it's an old dryer. maybe its time is just up

didn't mean for this post to be so long LMAO if you made it this far you get a picture of harley (my mom's cat). i just gotta make it through this week [pained smile]

NINJA EDIT BECAUSE AS I WAS TYPING THIS UP THERE WAS A NEW KITTEN DEVELOPMENT. after i texted her she got upset enough to decide to drive to our house and pick up the kitten and leave which i mean. lol. lmao. i gave you a warning and you decided to still fuck off so that's not my fault at this point. she's still an hour away so i will probably be going to bed when she comes home. don't have it in me to have another 10pm serious conversation lol lmao lol

[lycantherous]

Hi hello! I hope you're doing well :) I stumbled across your post about tarantula husbandry, and I was wondering, as someone interested in getting a tarantula, would you be willing to share some tips for a beginner? I've done some research and know some of the basics, and I've found a local breeder that breeds Chilean rose tarantulas

Yes!! First - I reccomend Tom's big spiders. In prep for, and just after getting my rosy, I listened to his podcast whenever i was driving. He also does youtube vids.

I've never worked with slings and just only recently got my first juvie.

My spider molted just after I got her. I was prepared but it was still scary and I def googled "do spiders die upsidown" just to reeeaally make sure.

I just rehoused her into a smaller enclosure where the top isnt a screen but one sheet of stamped metal - I'm preeety sure without the overlapping wires she wont get her toes stuck. I first housed her in a 20 long with a regular screen lid so just fitted a piece of cardboard with vent holes on the inside of the lid. I knew itd be temp so I didnt mind ugly.

You wont need to add extra humidity or heat. Room temp is great, as long as it doesnt drop below 60°f for too long. Extra heat will dry out ur spider dangerously fast and misting/soaking the substrate promotes bacterial and mold growth.

Good tarantula enclosures will have side ventilation, you want the air to move through the tank rather than evaporate out the top. This is more important with species that you do want to keep more humid without risking nastiness.

Put in a water bowl! Source of humidity that's easy to clean and your spider can go over and drink from it. They wont drown, I had a huuge dog sized bowl (used to be snake bowl) in her last encloser and I'd watch her climb up and lean over and start drinking. She put some of her legs "in" the water for support. Their little feets are water repellent so it was really her floating on the surface.

So no drowning spiders but if ur lucky you might see a floating spider!

My rosy likes to climb so her enclosure is filled about 2/3rds substrate. Shes around 6" so I left about 5" of wall to climb. They dont take falls well. Honestly shed be safe with 7" but in her last enclosure she dug out a corner so I wanted to give her more medium to play in and dig.

In the snake tank I had her on cocofiber which was great but didnt hold its shape. I bought an expensive bag of arid pet dirt at my local reptiles/exotics shop for her to burrow because I dont personally trust plant dirt to not have possible fertilizer or pesticide contamination.

Both fertilizer and any sort of pesticide will kill your pet. This includes any topical flea medication that people use on their dogs. Bleach will kill your pet, these guys are sensitive to chemicals. I use watered down vinegar and make sure to rinse really well if I need to clean something. Otherwise a damp cloth is best for spot cleaning.

An adult sized t can live very happily on a handful of crickets a month and smaller spiders on smaller meals. I want to overfeed mine because the manager of the reptile store is so wonderful and loud and gay and has a jurassic park car and I wanna loiter 😔

Try and throw in some cork bark and decorative plants and moss in there. You want to make the floor not flat, layered objects help make a lot of pockets and more vertical space and your t will feel safer and will have options to choose from when making their little home base

A lot of people never hold their Ts like how fish ppl mostly dont hold or pet their fish. This is because when they fall they pop and if they bite (whether for defense or the spider is trying to hang on to ur slippery monkey arm) your first reaction is to fling the poor critter.

Contact with my animals is super important for me personally so I'll have them walk across my hands in their enclosure. My coworker would handle hers on the floor in a room that it wasnt easy for her t's to find a spot to hide if they bolted.

I love talking about animal husbandry so much I hope these are at least a good list of stuff to learn more about

[nathank77]

9/30/24

8:54 p.m

Idk what to do. They did another cat scan on my mother bc her pain isn't getting better and the abssess is the same exact size and the colon walls i believe are thickening. If her pain doesn't get better by tomorrow she's having surgery Wednesday morning.

Someone stole one of my pairs of hyper tough gloves.... I'm pretty sure it was liv. I left them out in the kitchen two pairs and one of the pairs is just gone. Bro I'm a person with ocd on disability. I need them. I've used them everyday since we got Riley. They didn't just walk out of here. Idk what happened but I looked fucking everywhere. And liv actually said she thought she saw them outside and my sister said they were hers... maybe it was skye idfk.... .

I'm upset about it bc I need them for Riley and a lot of stuff..and I don't have money for them and I need them if I play with Riley or walk her or do anything around the house.....

My mom is frantic bc the surgery means a colostomy bag... and I can't make her feel better. I'd kill myself. I didn't tell her that but I'd kill myself if that was the only option.

It was poison ivy.... I correctly identified it... cause yea.. I'm pretty sure they nabbed my gloves and cleaned the poison ivy up with them. They stole medical gloves out of the hospital for me so I can clean my mess in the house cause I stole one pair and cleaned the bathroom and did a bunch of stuff... like cleaned the toilet bowl not water... and the sink and the shower. And I cleaned the bathroom floor with pinsol and water and a new pee pee pad which I used my shoe to rub it around...

And when they were stealing the gloves they were like wait you're a large... and I'm like yea a large cause the medical gloves fit snug in large... but they were really like not mediums... yea in my hyper tough gloves I'm a medium....

I'm pissed cause I need those gloves... and I'm worried bc Riley nose was above the poison ivy and what if her whiskers touched the poison ivy...... I'm so worried about it. And she loves me to death. She listens about getting in the crate... but she's in the crate almost all day cause I put her in when I visited my mother in the morning... then I came home walked her... and she pooped on the carpet again... and then liv put her in the crate and I cleaned everything while she was in there... not the poop... liv did that.

Then I let her out. And I played with her after a little and then i had to go see my mom so I had to put her back in the crate... I get home around 8 p.m. they walked her... and now I'm in my room. Riley is free roaming but this is no life for a fucking German shepherd. AND they said they have the papers and if I surrender her they'll say I dog nabbed her.... so I guess tomorrow I'm going grocery shopping. Riley will be in the crate from 12:30 until I make my chicken... and take a shower.... cause I haven't showered in 2 days now.... I feel disgusting..... and then I'll let her out walk her and then i have to put her back in there to see my mom at the hospital.

When I grabbed my backpack she got all possessive like she always does but she went in the crate when i said crate. So I have no choice but to crate her when I leave the house.....

And then Wednesday if my mom has surgery... which she probably will Riley will be in the crate all day while I'm there.

I'm fucking livid at everyone. I'm dealing with all my ocd obsessions... freaking out with anxiety. Over washing my hands. My skin is crawling.

AND THE DOG IS STUCK IN A CRATE ALL FUCKING DAY AND THEN I GET HOME AND GO TO BED AND SHE LAYS BY HERSELF WATCHING MY DOOR FROM HER CRATE.

ITS FUCKING AWFUL AND IF MY MOM NEEDS THE BAG. EVEN IF SHE DOESNT... THE SURGERY WILL KEEP HER IN A LONG RECOVERY..

THEY STOLE MY GLOVES. AND THE DOG IS SUFFERING AND I CANT BE WITH RILEY AND BE WITH MY MOM AT THE SAME TIME AND I CHOSE MY MOM BUT I MEAN COME THE FUCK ON. IF SHE GETS THE BAG SHE CANT HAVE RILEY JUMPING UP ON HER.

We compromise with a long line in the corner of the yard... with the pool blocked off... and where she can't go anywhere near my window or NALAS GRAVE... by the shed.... and they are going to use ply wood to block off the weeds..... but yea it's still no life for a German shepherd..... and I can't rehome her. That won't be done for like a fucking week!

I do love the dog. Especially after getting her to go in the crate for me. But it's not the right home for her. I can't save her. And all she gets to do is sit in a crate.

When I say possessive. She sees my backpack and goes wild trying to play. Dropping toys at my feet. And I know if I let her free roam eventually she will bite me bc of the nipping. She has to be crated when I leave. there is no choice in it. She listens she's good she goes in there. But I feel awful cause yea.

My right ear has felt full and painful... I haven't been able to schedule the mri bc of my mom.. I'm going to try tomorrow.

I'm a mess.

[asafirsttimemommy]

July 16,2024

I am on my first year, 1st month mommy of Calis.

Lately, I have been not in a good place.

I looked in the mirror and saw my curly, wild hair. As i tamed it with ponytail, the curl is so wild it looks like a chaotic cotton candy.

A lot of hairfall everytime I take a bath. Especially when I shampooed my hair. It keeps on falling, when I gently massage my scalp, hair falls. What to do but to collect the hair on the floordrain and put in at the corner of the bathroom. Gently with the conditioner. Hairs on my body, on the floor. I learned to accept it all and have faith in my thick hair. I do not care because my hair is thick, and the hair fall will not be noticeable. It is true. And then, they grows back curly. 🫣😅 Anyway, it will pass. 😬

I have lots of white hairs now. It is because of genes and because I am getting old.

My eyebrows are perfect. It is still beautiful.

My eyes looked tired. A bit of wrinkles. But, thank you younger self for taking good care of our eyes they are still 20/20. Also, thankful for the eye creams we put in there because we are preparing for crow’s feet.

My nose. 😬 is still the same. Blackheads, pores. I accepted it all.

My lips are sometimes chapped. Most of the times, it is pale.

My teeth hasn’t been brush a lot. Sadly. There are days I do not. I can only imagine the smell and the nasty, slippery feeling. Ick. Need to take care of them now, though.

My chin have hairs. And are now doubled. 🫣 it is time to make a move and smart eating. Gonna try ketosis as advices by dr.delapaz.

My face shape is still the same, but my cheeks are getting smaller than before I am not a mother. They are also cleared with pimples and blemishes. Honestly, maybe because our house is much cleaner than the office’s air.

My neck have warts. But, lesser. I didn’t actually take a note of my neck. It is fine.

My arms got slimmer. But my left wrist now has a keloid, a titanium plate, and I need a year to fully heal. My right hand is still awesome. I think it misses art.

My boobs are changed. My right peck is much much bigger and produced much more milk. My left peck is smaller, nipples are getting crumbled, dry and dark because it rarely been breastfed by Calis, though it still have milk.

My tummy is really full. I ate a lot. And I am always hungry. I need to take good care of my tummy and get them slim.

My caesarean scar is healed outside. But they said it needed 3-years to be fully healed. I am not bother with the scar. It doesnt have keloid.

My legs are slimmer now.

My butt got small into nothingness.🤣 Well, I read that it has omega3. I need the omega3 to produce milk. So, it is okay. Sometimes, I looked in the mirror and sighed.

My feet gets dried and cracked. I used vaseline creamy petroleum jelly on my feet, put celophane and socks. The nextday, it feels so soft and looks whiter than before. It was moisturized and glowing!

My hands are doing great. Works are done perfectly and extraordinarily.

Now, my heart is full with love for my Calis. It is also tempted with hate on people who cause my Jun some pain and disappointments. My heart also wanted me to follow my passion in arts. My lost first love that I chose to forget because it doesn’t pay the bills.

My brain is forgetful. But, it also have lots of mental load. Food for the baby, breatfeed her, get the sala clean, prepare the food, change her diaper, feed her, have her drink the water, changed the diaper when she pooped, she keeps on crawling to milo’s bowl, climbing the sofa to table, crying and wanting mommy, going into the walkin closet room and reaching for the breaspump kit, hearing her playing with the crib’s railing, checking her everytime because I fear that she might get hurt, play the youtube, she will crawl again. I have laundry to finish. Hanging clothes I have to fold. Dishes on the sink I have to wash. Toilet is dirty and smelly. I keep on smeezing because I am allergic to dust. My left arm hurts. I cannot use my left arm fully it might break again. I look ugly. I looked like an unhappy mom with her appearance. I do not have income. I am not working as an architect. My opinion do not matter anymore. Milo wants food and water. Milo wants to go outside. There are things on the walkin closet room to organize. I still need to do a design on something for free. I forget what I am going to do. I feel overwhelmed. Jun is not home yet, he is working overtime again. My parents have a problem with money and needed cash again from us. Jun is getting mad at me. I am getting mad for no reason, he said.

I am overwhelmed.

Lately, I have been watching animations. Thought it might ignite something in me, passion, love, arts. I feel happy. What if I pursued. But the reality is I pursued a technical career, an Architect. I still can.

I am also aiming to learn about digital products. They said I needed 1-month then shotgun. I will start it. No one will know, even Jun. I will do this.

[lady-snow-flower]

22-24 for all of them

Favorite thing/part about sex—intimacy, role-playing, etc. Ber: the intimacy definitely. though he can get kinky, honestly his favourite position is just missionary because he wants to look into simba's eyes~ ew~ Hades: the release, definitely lol. He also likes the power dynamics in it-- likes to dominate, likes the high lol. Merida: similar to Hades, they would mostly love to dominate and probably wanna be praised lolol Nemo: Nemo loves fun, goofy sex. He likes to be silly and laugh with his partner the most. But also: compliment him during sex, thank u Pip: N/A this is private information Jun: N/A this is private information Amity: N/A she is exploring Snow: Snow's best sex she's ever had was with Estella and that was in part because...they had a lot of it and got to explore a lot of different things together. She also loves power dynamics. She loves roleplay. I think her favourite part was just the trust between partners to like-- be silly or be dangerous or to be vulnerable and so rip that Estella ripped that trust away and why she's had difficulty since!!! Penny: N/A she is exploring <3 Karen: They are all about new new new! They think it's a great way to get to know someone, learn their kinks and their likes/dislikes lol. Remy: Intimacy much like Berlioz, he wants things to be slooow and steamy~ and all about connection Least favorite thing/part about sex—cleanup, setup, etc

Ber: setup probably that would bore him to tears. he is very into spontaneous sex, loves sex where he shouldnt have sex Hades: answered Merida: emotions <3 keep that shit to yourself Nemo: clean-up he is veeery lazy and will moan and groan about taking a shower and wiping off etc (which sucks bc he loves~ messy sex. big fan of lube in this house) Pip: as a demisexual person most of sex honestly grosses pip out unless he is totally in love with you. in the future i do hc that he actually does not prefer anal. he'll do it when he's in the mood but is way more into other forms of sex. Jun: this is a stressful question for jun we can't answer that due to his anxieties Amity: n/a exploring Snow: for snow, sex is a ritual. if it's good sex, all parts of it are fun: the set-up is sexy, the foreplay is sexy, the clean-up and aftercare is sexy. She romanticizes every step idk what to tell u i guess if she feels like her partner isn't into it as much and she's putting in all the effort then she'd not like aspects of it lol Penny: n/a exploring Karen: actually is like snow, tho less sentimental lmfao, they're just like, bad part about sex??? its sex??? i like sex!!! Remy: also clean-up bc he's a bit of a neat freak so even tho he loooooves sex he'd probably get persnickety about the after.

. A song they would fuck/get fucked to

Ber: 3WW by alt-j... wow alt-j throwback Hades: uhhhh... he'd never think to turn on music. i guess if they dont want the kids to hear he's cranking up the classical music channel FLMAOOO Merida: also would never think to turn on music sorry Nemo: would fuck himself to robbie's music and send it to robbie. probs would do like, bazzi or justin bieber otherwise fsalkf;aslkfj Pip: too many to name. ariana grande on repeat. Jun: this is so embarrassing he doesnt want to answer any of these. like water by wendy Amity: it'll be taylor swift muna boygenius etc Snow: entirely depends on the mood and the plot ok like is this a bridgerton roleplay. is snow tied up in satin and gagged? these are very different soundtrack choices Penny: it'll be taylor swift maude latour caroline polachek etc Karen: macarena by blitzers. also just the macarena. you know the one. thrwo in some cha cha slide too why not Remy: soft and tender by november ultra

Share a sample line of dirty-talk

this sdlkafja;lskdjfasdlkfjad;lkfajsdf;lkajlkdajlkjal i refuse to do this one im sorry. the cringe is 2 much for me.

[enco12e]

Visions

Steve Harrington x Reader

requested by @jackhughes-86 : PLZ DO STEVE WERE THE READER IS AFFECTED BY VECNAS CURSE AND SHE FLOATS AND STUFF BUT DOESNT DIE

a/n: literally love this idea. this one is kinda angsty but we all love a little angst am I right?

(Y/N) sat still in the passenger seat of Steve’s parked bmw, quietly rubbing her temples to ease the growing headache which she had assumed was from the stress of the situation. The murders happening around her in Hawkins weren’t easy especially since it had been people she attended school with, sat next to in class or passed by in the hallway.

���You okay?” Steve questioned, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. (Y/N)‘s gaze lifted from her lap and looked up to Steve with strained eyes.

“Yeah-“ She weakly replied while offering him a smile that made Steve feel uneasy. It wasn’t anything like the smile she’d given him when he’d hopelessly flirt or tell a cheesy joke. He silently nodded in a response before turning down the radio that had been quietly playing, hoping to ease her pounding head. Steve turned to look at the lake house Eddie had been hiding out in. The two were assigned by the others to keep watch for anyone that might be coming to look for the Munson boy.

He wondered if he hadn’t been looking to the shed or watching the water lap in lovers lake that he would have seen as (Y/N)’s nose slowly drip with blood or even heard her quiet gasp as her hand quickly came to her face to stop the blood from flowing down onto Steve’s freshly cleaned seats.

“Shit.” She whispered under her breath, opening the glove box to look for anything to stop the bleeding but the loud chime of a grandfather clock made her stop in place. Slowly looking over her shoulder to see the once blue sky had clouded over with dark ominous clouds. (Y/N) had long forgotten about her dripping nose, swinging open the maroon door and hesitantly stepping out. Steve had been nowhere in sight. “Steve?” She called out but her voice only echoed down the winding roads and through the neighboring woods. “Robin? Anyone?” (Y/N) Cried out again. She ran to the middle of the road, the very grandfather clock she heard sat on the yellow striped lines, chiming again and again.

“(Y/N)?” Steve stood in front of the blank girl who stood in the middle of the road, eyes completely glossed over. His brows furrowed at her current state, had she taken something from Eddie? “(Y/N) this isn’t funny.” Steve’s hands were brought to her shoulders like he had done moments ago when she sat in his car, but this time he wasn’t as gentle when he tried to shake her back into reality. “Come on! It’s not funny!” The rest of the group walked up on the scene watching with worried eyes.

“What’s going on?” Dustin exclaimed as he ran up to the two.

“I don’t know! I don’t- she just walked out here and she isn’t moving.” Steve urgently explained the group, continuing to shake the blank girl. Dustin looked back to Max who looked at the sight with fear.

“Steve?” (Y/N) quacked, slowly back away from the clock which chimes only seemed to grow louder the further she’d gotten away. (Y/N) turned around to run but was faced with her mother who stood in her path.

“It is all your fault, (Y/N).” Her mother’s voice hissed, black goo dripping from her lips.

“What?” Her voice shook as tears began to well up in her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (Y/N) tried to tell her mother who only seemed to grow more angry.

“Why our family isn’t perfect. Why your dad left. Why I started drinking.” (Y/N) shook her head at her mothers words, the clock chiming again. “It was all your fault. You were never good enough we’re you?” Her mothers voice booming over her, getting darker, deeper. (Y/N) fell to the ground, hastily crawling backwards as her mother slowly turned into something she’d feared most. Goo dripped from Vecna as he approached her with large strides.

“Your suffering has come to an end, (Y/N).” His hand slowly lifted, and from what Steve could see, she did too. The male tried to grab her legs as she was pulled into the air.

“No, no, no!” Steve cried out but Dustin had ran to Steve car, turning the radio back up and the mixtape he had in the car began to play loudly. A song (Y/N) had partially enjoyed singing along with Steve; The Man Who Sold The World by Nirvana. The two laughing together as they sang along with the windows down and wind in their hair.

(Y/N) saw a small opening just like Max had described, all of her friends and most importantly her boyfriend trying to pull her down in what looked like a portal. Her eyes fell back to Vecna who had seemingly disappeared and her world began to come back to her.

Falling to the ground, Steve had wrapped his arms tightly around the girl. “Are you okay?” He asked repeatedly but (Y/N) couldn’t find her words, nodding as she did before in the car to reassure Steve that she was going to be alright. His quickened breath slowly eased.

She didn’t talk much after and most were too afraid to ask what she had seen in her trance. Steve wasn’t sure if she wanted anyone to know.

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 10: YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OF ME

warnings: suicide mention, drugs mention, sa menton

word count: 7111

previous chapter

***

San

when i wake up from my suffocating nap, yaera is tugging on my arm for us to get off the bus. i jump in my skin, looking out into the kind of neighbourhood i only pictured in movies.

my family was never really wealthy, but i know we always tried to do nice things. the houses and the clean streets and palm trees, everything around me just reeks of tax evasion.

"its not a long walk from here," yaera says, her voice sounding muffled. did she sleep in the bus too?

i cant hide my staring as we walk, feeling completely out of place. yaera's been hanging around my shitty apartment so often i forgot where she actually comes from.

it bothers me. i dont know why. sometimes i cant believe this partnership is real. there'd just be so much i'd overlook if all my needs were taken care of like hers are.

if its one thing im tired of, its surviving. just that. i dont remember the last time i had a good day that wasnt ruined by the impact of my fathers decisions.

we reach a white house that looks like something out of old hollywood. yaera stuns me by walking through the gate like nothing. i look around like a kid at a carnival, lost in the fantasy of how nice it must be to grow up around a functioning neighborhood.

yaera takes her shoes off in the front of her door, giving me some home nostalgia. i didnt realize a lot of people did that. i do the same thing, gazing around her sunlit foyer.

"no ones really home besides the maids so we can go straight to my room," she says, then turns around to look at me. "can i get you some juice? water?"

"do you have coke?" i ask.

"im not allowed to drink gas in this house. dont ask."

"juice is fine then."

she leads me to her room. her house has a lot of clocks. everything so simple and white. i pass by a wall on the way to her room, spotting a few baby pictures.

her room is even more bare than the rest of her house. everything i see...i never expected. nothing about yaera ever told me she has such a simple room.

it looks like something out of one of those modern home magazines. no posters on the walls, no pictures, no stuffed animals, nothing at all that showed her personality. not that i was an expert on that. but still.

"go ahead and make yourself comfy, ill be right back," she says and tosses her bag onto the bed. the weird sound it makes reminds me of the things she stole. she wants to sell them yet shes so careless.

i get up and walk around slowly. her room carpet is soft on my feet, better than the rough wooden floor at my apartment. because nothing in her room tells me anything, i go back to that wall.

im nervous because i dont like walking through the homes of others, but something intangible tells me to do it. theres a bunch of pictures of yaera as a preteen and a kid. she looks like a mess in all of them. her curly hair wild and her clothes hanging off her body like she played a rough game. and next to her is the girl identical to her, wearing the biggest smile.

it feels eerie to look at almost. knowing what happened to her.

the two of them are so tight knit, theyre inseparable in every photo. even though yaera is almost never smiling, she always has a hold on her sisters clothes or arm, while the girl looks so out of place next to her brooding twin.

i feel bad looking at it, feeling like im intruding. i hear footsteps coming up the stairs so i quickly run back and pretend to take my books out. yaera comes in a few seconds after, holding a tray of juice and a bowl of chips.

i shift awkwardly as she sets it down on the bed and sits down, roughly pulling at her school tie. her shirt pops open at the top, and i immediately divert my gaze when i catch a glimpse of her black bra.

dont. dont do this to me today. im begging my body to stay in check so she doesnt realize how starved of human interaction ive been before i met her.

"lets leave the studying for later," she boredly says and starts opening her bag. i frown at her, remembering what mrs evans told me.

in one of earlier periods, she basically begged me to tutor yaera, saying she was on the verge of failing and doing pretty much horribly in all her other subjects because she didnt try. if she didnt do well for the next few months, she wouldnt be able to go to any college.

"i dont think thats a good idea," i say, finally looking her in the eyes. her tie is around her head for some reason. "i was serious about tutoring you. it sounds like you really need help. we should get it done."

yaera rolls her eyes. "so im guessing evans spoke to you?"

"i think most people know you arent doing well in school."

"fuck you, san."

i almost smile because of the bland look she gives me.

"im just telling you the facts. what exactly are you going to do in italy?" i ask her. with the lengths shes going to, i know she has to have a plan.

"my grandmother from my mother's side, shes still alive. im going to stay with her. she owns a bakery and will take me in without saying anything."

"didnt you say you wanted to fall off the grid? away from your parents?"

yaera takes a handful of chips and throws it back into her mouth, exposing her chest yet again. i wince internally. i dont know where to look at this point.

"my mother got disowned by her mom a long time ago, when she left the country with my sister and i," she mutters, her tone quieting at the mention of her sister. "my nonna's family immigrated to italy from south africa years ago, so my mom was born in italy. my sister and i were born there too, so my grandmother was really upset when she left with us. they never talk, so i know im safe with her."

"how old were you when you left italy?"

"eleven," she answers, smiling fondly to herself. shes pretty when shes not plotting or wearing her insufferably sly smirk.

"we still go back and forth a lot. because of my parents business. i stay here for school and go back for vacations and holidays."

it must be nice, i think. im surprised shes handing out information so freely. i guess she does really trust me.

"maybe we can visit each other," she suddenly says, the smirk ive seen too many times hanging on her lips again. "when we're both wild and free in europe."

"you know england and italy arent down the street from each other, right?" i laugh slightly, wondering to myself why she would say that.

"so? you know what they say, in europe everything is walking distance."

i chuckle, i dont know why. shes not funny. its embarrassing how a week ago she was blackmailing me and now im eating chips in her room, listening to her life story.

wooyoung would be fuming if he could see me now.

he'd ask me why i was letting in a girl so notorious, so much of a fiend. someone so shady, who isnt at all afraid of danger. and even if she is, thats not gonna stop her at all.

i wont have an answer for him when he does question me. because i dont know why either. maybe im just letting myself have something for once. even if its not the smartest or sanest thing in the world.

yaera takes out the stuff she stole from her bag, snapping pictures of a shiney watch. "people will buy anything online, its crazy," she tells me slyly. "all i have to do is say free delivery and they come crawling like rats to a pizza slice."

so this is what shes been doing for money. "how much does it make you?" i question.

"a lot. i recommend it. even if there isnt a fixed amount, theres no way youre going home with coins."

she leans in to me suddenly, her bra poking open as a gold cross necklace hangs from her neck. i gulp hard. what is she doing?

"and i was thinking...if you cant get rid of all the rosies on time...maybe you can just give Miss A the money?" she continues on as if she doesnt realize how hot she is. or maybe she does, maybe shes doing it on purpose.

it takes me a few seconds to digest what she says.

"what?"

"we can dump it, or sell it ourselves for an even higher price," she says excitedly. "we pay off your amount and then just make double it. you know?"

i dont like the sound of it. im not good with finances, which is exactly why i do the rough stuff. its why im known for being the muscle. i still dont know why miss A gave me this shitty job, knowing i had no expertise. maybe she wants to get rid of me.

"lets play it safe for now," i say, stuttering slightly. im taking a lot of risks so this is going to have to wait. especially because i have enough to hide from miss A.

yaeras proximity is so close to me i cant ignore it anymore. her skirt is hiking up as she sits, her long knee highs distracting as fuck. im biting hard on my lip, the strain tugging in unmentionable places. i cant do this anymore.

"your top is a little...wide," i say suddenly.

"huh?" she looks down and realizes. i expect her to go as red as i feel, but all she does is grip her shirt closed and smile crookedly.

"my bad. i didnt mean to give you a show," she jokes. "wanna stand in the hall for a second? i'll put on something else." 

i can never tell if shes being serious when she flirts with me. it feels like everything is a joke or a lie. no ones ever acted the way she does towards me before. i dont know how to deal with it.

i get up and leave, hardly making eye contact. my skin is prickly and hot. i cant be getting affected like this. im such a loser.

my imagination tries causing my downfall while her door is closed. the clocks in her house are ticking and im trying to focus on them instead of picturing her getting undressed. fuck, what is wrong with me.

i reach for my phone, hoping to get distracted. but when i reach for my pockets it isnt on me. i go back into yaera's room, without thinking at all and  her back is faced toward me.

luckily it isnt her bare back. she has a pink tank top on. i lose my sense for a few seconds when she turns around, her top still dangerously low, and my phone right in her hand.

its open.

i fight my glare, i probably just left it open by mistake; but shes looking at me like she wants to kill me. her jaw is clenched, her dark eyes narrowed at me like i kicked a puppy.

"why do you have my phone?" i ask her cautiously.

"why do you have this picture on your phone?" she says back, cold as ice.

my mind goes blank. "what?"

she smiles but its nothing sweet. "yeosang emailed you. he wants to meet you for drugs. now tell me why he sent you this picture?"

oh. the picture of her with that older guy. the colour feels like its leaving my body. oh fuck.

"i-i can explain–"

"i noticed you got it a day after we met. were you trying to get leverage on me?"

im embarrassed. i dont know what to say. but my brain tells me to just be honest. theres no way they can look any worse.

"yeah, i was," i admit. she scoffs and rolls her eyes. "i wanted something on you the way you had something on me. but i dont plan on using that. ever."

"thats supposed to make me feel better?" she questions angrily.

"well, you still have that video of me dealing drugs. do you think that makes me feel better?"

she clamps her mouth shut and bites her lip in frustration, tossing my phone to the bed. i want to approach her but i feel like shes about to kick me out of her house.

she cant be mad. i know its fucked up but i was just getting even. i hope this doesnt ruin everything we tried establishing a day ago. that would be so exhausting.

she drops onto her bed, pushing her hair back as she glares onto the ground. "fuck that asshole, yeosang. that picture is useless anyway."

i frown and finally get the courage to move to sit next to her. "what do you mean?" i ask.

she scoffs again, a forced smile on her face. "because that isnt me. its my sister."

my blood pauses in my veins as i look at her. yaera sighs, the look on her face distant and pained. what?

"but yeosang–"

"is a fucking idiot," she finishes off coldly. "he leaked that picture of her days after she went missing. everyone thought she ran away and was rebelling so brands started dropping her. my parents threatened to sue and he swore to delete it. my parents made me step up and announce that i was the one in the picture so that yasmines name would stop getting slandered. so they called me a whore instead."

she chuckles darkly. "i guess it was easier to believe i was the whore and not her. they werent expecting her to be a bag of bones at the bottom of a canyon."

what the fuck. i bend my elbows on my knees and rub my face because i dont know what to say. yeosang is such a fucking asshole.

"i'll delete the pic," i say heavily. "i didnt know. yeosang said it was you."

"most people believe it is. to this day. but nah, thats my innocent sister in the arms of some guy."

"what the fuck is that angle?" i ask her in disbelief. "it doesnt look like she knows she was being watched."

"i dont think she did," yaera admits frighteningly calm. she reaches for something in her bag, and pulls out the camera she stole.

"i think my sister was being stalked. and i think that person is stalking me too."

"what?" i raise my voice. shes dead serious.

yaera holds the camera towards me, showing me a folder. when i look at the pictures inside, my face goes icy. hundreds of pictures of her at school, smoking, sitting around, completely unaware that a camera is on her. then as i scroll further down, i see the exact same picture yeosang sent me.

the original.

"what the fuck?" i whisper and shake my head. "we have to take this to your parents. or the police. what if this is the same person who killed your sister?"

yaera nearly drops the camera and i swear she looks like all the colour has drained from her face. she feels her head and shivers. "i-i think im going to be sick."

"i'll go get a cold rag. hold on."

i get up but she pulls me back by my shirt, shaking her head. "no please. just stay here," she almost begs.

we have to do something about this. this means the stalker is a student, or even worse, a teacher.

it cant be the guy in the picture, hes older and hes being watched too. it has to be a student, and it has to be someone part of the soccer team.

"did yeosang ever say where he got this picture?" i ask her.

she gulps and shakes her head. "no he said it was sent to him. and because he knows everyone, he was told to leak it. so he did. he thought it was from her or someone else saying that shes safe and alive. but...then..."

she takes a deep breath, and it sounds like theyre getting smaller. her chest is rising and falling harder than usual, a slight whistle in her breathing. i reach for her bag and rummage through it, finding her asthma pump.

"take this," i tell her and hand it to her. she takes two puffs, her breathing harsher than before. shes almost shaking.

"ill go with you," i tell her firmly. "to the police, or to your parents. we can show them this. you might be in danger."

"they wont do anything," she says defeatedly. "the police buried the case and i would just be bringing up old wounds to my parents. so much has happened...they wouldnt believe me."

"but we have evidence right here!" i groan, unable to believe what im hearing. "youre just going to accept this?"

"what do you want me to do?" she snaps her head at me. "do you want us to find this guy? then what?"

i clench my jaw thinking of it. hes probably some sick fuck getting off to pictures of yaera and a dead girl. how fucked up do you have to be to still hold onto this?

"we kill him."

"what?" she looks at me horrified. "what the fuck are you talking about?"

"okay fine, we dont kill him. but lets fuck him up, or get him in trouble. because this is messed up. i can find out who this belongs to. just give me your word and i will."

yaera nods with difficulty, looking like shes choking down sobs. this day has taken a completely different turn, we havent even gotten to studying yet.

my phone rings and buzzes again. i look at it. its the thirtieth call yeosang has given me. i pick up in annoyance and nearly growl into the phone. "what the fuck do you want?"

"fucking finally!" he screams, making me pull the phone away from my ear. "you asshole! ive been tryna reach you all day? you finally out of marino's ass? can i fucking talk to you?"

"what do you need?" i grit out because unfortunately i need this fucker and his money.

"i need you to give me like four bags before saturday. ill pay you today, okay? this shit is addictive im literally shaking and if you dont deliver im gonna fucking beat your ass, okay? im thirsty!" yeosang demands, his voice unhinged and feral.

"when do you need it?"

"did you not hear me? today asshole! drop it at the rockstar cafe near school. one of my girlfriends work there. give it to her."

"fine. ill send wooyoung to drop it."

"fucking thank you. god, was that so hard?–"

i hang up on him and turn my attention back on yaera. shes looking at me with a closed off glint in her soft brown eyes, her lips slightly pouted. i stare at them a little too long, against my will.

"how do you know yeosang?" she asks me suddenly. "or more, how did you start selling drugs to him?"

i cant for the life of me find out why she wants to know that. i did tell her i would let her know anything she wants, so i guess i should be fair.

"he knew one of yunho's guys," i say. "he used to sell him drugs when he went clubbing. long story short, the guy died and yunho asked me to start supplying yeosang instead. he was surprised when he found out we were at the same school."

"and he kept quiet?" she asks in genuine disbelief. "yeosang? the guy who tells everyone with whom and where he has sex? the guy who cant keep a secret for shit? that guy?"

"yunho warned me about him. i have a little leverage on him to make sure he doesnt squeal."

her eyes suddenly light up with that dark, mischevious flare she uses when she wants something. "what kind of leverage?"

"before i tell you, whats your relationship with yeosang?"

"he tried to fuck me," she says crudely, making my mouth nearly drop open. "and he knew my sister. he tried to fuck us both actually. and when i didnt let him he went around spreading rumors about me. he still does it to this day."

okay so she has it out for him. and rightfully so. everytime i hear about yeosang hes out disappointing his parents.

"his scandal is kinda fitting then," i chuckle humorlessly. "he had sex with this girl at one of yunhos clubs. he drugged her drink. yunho has it all on camera."

yaeras face morphs into disgust. "thats not fucking sex thats...he literally...oh my god."

"i know," i sigh. "hes a real piece of shit. yunho had his hands on that. and now it belongs to the gang. he knows if he speaks, his life is over."

"how the fuck did yunho record it?"

"he used to record everything in his club. hes was one sick fuck. there were cameras in every corner of that club. every single one. its how the police busted him. luckily for yeosang, his video already made it out of there beforehand."

yaera shakes her head and grips her hair. "this shit is fucking crazy."

thats my life. shes horrifed. i can feel it. but she wanted this. she wanted to be a part of it. luckily it wont be her forever. i dont know when it will end for me.

***

i tried my best to tutor yaera after the revelation of all the upsetting news. she struggled to pay attention, i could tell. her answers were all delayed and she kept zoning out on the diagrams.

at some point i accept we wont get any work done today. i look outside and see its getting late. yeosang is ringing my phone again, as well as wooyoung. i realize i have stops to make.

i close my textbook which happens to be open on the diagram of the heart. yaera blinks slowly, then sits up when she realizes we're done.

"oh. sorry," she mutters. "i wasnt really a good student today, huh?"

i shrug, its not a big deal right now. "we can try again tomorrow. you have a lot on your plate."

"thank you." she says in the smallest voice. its humble coming from her.

i open my bag and shove my books in and she helps me pack. eventually she hands me the camera.

"you take it," her voice is tired and flat. "do whatever you need to with it. i dont want in the house, im going to stare at the pictures all night and its gonna make me sick."

"ill take it away tonight," i tell her. "you remember the mongols? those guys you met when you followed me the first time?"

"yeah?"

"theyre my dads old gang. they do favours for me sometimes because they feel bad for ruining my life. i can get in touch with mao's niece. shes a hacker. i'll take the camera to her and see what she can do."

"thanks. i'd go with you but my parents are gonna be home anytime soon," she sighs. "be careful."

i swing my bag onto my shoulder and we walk out of her house. we schedule to study sometime on the weekend again, right before yeosang's party.

when we get outside the sky is almost pitch black, except for a faint line of blue over the roofs of the mansions. its going to be a nightmare to get transport this time around. i decide to call an uber.

"i wanted to ask you," yaera says as we wait in silence on the pavement. "theres this thing coming up with my family. like...an event for that photoshoot i did. and i need a date."

i raise an eyebrow. is she seriously asking me to go to a fancy event with her family? me? the poster boy for poverty?

"dont look at me like that," she punches my arm lightly, scowling. "im not into you or anything. i want you to meet the models im dealing to. theyre going to be there."

i narrow my eyes at her. "you want to deal at your parents party?"

"no, san. i wanna see you in a suit and drool over how hot you look."

my mouth hangs open at how completely serious she sounds while saying it. i nervously look away and wipe my face with a sigh, irritated by how easily she affects me. she bursts out laughing and my embarrassment worsens.

"you keep asking me dumb questions. obviously! and dont worry about the suit, ill get you one myself."

i dont meet her gaze even though i can feel her staring at me. "so you didnt mean what you said before that?"

she comes to stand right infront of me, that devious smirk on her lips once again. goddamn it. i fail to look away, not wanting to be intimdated except i am.

"about wanting to drool over you?" she asks lowly, her smirk dripping with smugness. "you want me to mean that, choi san?"

my body is abnormally fucking hot. i hear a horn beep a few feet away and see a black toyota waiting. thank god. i clear my throat awkwardly and tighten my hand on the strap of my backpack.

"i gotta go. i'll text you." i say and scurry away as fast as i can.

yaera waves slowly to me when i get into the car and look at her through the window. i need to keep myself in check, no matter how difficult she makes it.

on the way home i get texts from wooyoung complaining about yeosang and about me taking my sweet time at yaera's house. hes convinced we're having unprotected sex everytime hes not in the room.

my face warms again as an image appears and quickly vanishes from my mind. that wouldnt be the worst thing in the world, right?

no. what the fuck san. get it together. what the hell did you just think.

it was the grief and trauma from seeing yunho get sliced up. im convinced. no way would i be having these disorderly thoughts unprovoked.

the uber drops me off infront of a tattoo parlour, aespa. mao's niece is a tattoo artist here. ive only visited a few times, mostly doing errands.

its evening so the place is shut down, but i know shes here. i slam my hand onto the door and peer through the glass waiting for her to show up. it takes me a few aggressive policeman knocks before she eventually comes strutting out through the dark shop, scowling at me.

she unlocks the door and glares at me. "what the hell? do you pay to knock down my door like this?" she snaps.

"hey, ningning, right?" i say. "im san. you know me right?"

she squints her eyes at me and then clicks her fingers. "ah...that guys kid. i dunno his name. tekken?"

"yeah. can i come in?" i sigh. 

she opens the door and flicks the lights on, allowing me to pass through. her hair is bright red and she has two full sleeves on both her arms. last time i visited she only had a few tattoos.

"im guessing youre not here for a tattoo appointment?" she says and goes to sit on a spinning chair. it accidently slides across the floor and she tumbles out of it. she gets up and smiles awkwardly.

i take off my bag and pull out the camera. "i need a favour. can you help me find out who this belongs to? its urgent."

"mmmmm did you steal it?"

"not important. i just need a name or an address."

she crosses her arms and nods. "that'll be easy. depending on how long this takes me, ill give you a price after."

i scowl. "please dont be unreasonable."

ningning gives me a nasty look. "hey, my uncle owes you favours, kid. not me, i didnt ruin your life. this is not a charity."

i sigh and nod, giving her the camera. i follow her to a backroom that ends up leading to a basement under her shop. she unlocks nearly four doors to get to her station, and i see massive monitors and a sick computer set up that i know costs more than my apartment.

she lets out a sigh and jumps into her chair, taking out the camera. im curious because i didnt even know cameras could be traced back. the police do it, right?

"so how do you do this?" i ask when she starts typing abnormally fast.

she chuckles, and my eyes widen when a bunch of alien code appears on the screens. "come on, even if i explained to you, do you really think your dumbass would get it?"

i scowl. damn it shes right.

"you couldve just said no," i mutter pathetically under my breath.

"serial numbers kid. serial numbers. theyre a godsent gift. also photos. does this camera have any photos?"

"yeah, a ton." my anger returns just thinking about the creep and his 'hobby'.

ningning pulls up the pictures from the camera and puts them onto the monitors. i bite my lip awkwardly when she turns and side eyes me.

"are you stalking someone?" she asks me dead seriously.

"no," i scoff. "im trying to find the stalker. and even if i was, you'd have no grounds to judge me with what you do."

"i may steal and sell peoples information but at least im not a weirdo," she rebuts and sticks out her tongue. seconds later she pulls out a piece of paper and starts writing shit down.

"theres an account attached to the camera. heres a name and address." she hands the paper to me. i frown looking at the name.

"Apple?" i scowl. this feels like a prank. and severely underwhelming. but at least ive got an address. im going to break this fuckers legs.

ningning smiles, sighing as if bored. "too easy. i was actually hoping this would be a challenge. that'll be 50."

i groan in the back of my throat, feeling like im giving out more money than im bringing in. yaera better pay me back for this. i dig into my wallet and give her my paper and it turns out its my last. broke.

ningning sends me a wink as i make my way out. "good luck, Lucky. or whatever they call you nowadays."

wooyoung picks me up a few minutes after, a new license plate on his van. hes honks obnoxiously for me to get in, nearly waking up the entire neighbourhood.

"never send me to plug that yeosang fucker ever again!" he immediately whines when i slide in passenger. "i cant stand that guy. how does he have that many girlfriends and i dont?"

"youre not a rich sexy creep i guess," i tell him and then sigh. "woo, we need to kill someone."

"what?!" wooyoung screams like the human loadspeaker he is. "who? the blackmailer?"

"no!" i snap and glare at him. i pull out the address and show him. "this is the address of the fucker thats been stalking her. including her dead twin sister."

wooyoungs jaw nearly drops. "woah. yeah thats fucked. when and where?"

i look out the window, thinking back to how she said she didnt want me to hurt anyone. i would probably piss her off and scare her. who knows what would happen. she doesnt want me to do things behind her back.

"let me tell her first. but tomorrow after school, we're paying this person a visit."

***

Yaera

it feels like everyday i wake up i feel more and more like trash. the nights feel long. the day feels too early. i know whats coming. its getting bad again.

ive been called depressed by my therapists and teachers. then it quickly became an excuse. an excuse to them i constantly use to be bad at school and everything else. all i know is everytime i think my happiness will last it doesnt.

when i dont feel my emotions, i dont remember them. they become foreign to me, like nothing. but recently ive been feeling a lot. san has made me feel a range of emotions.

sadness, fear, anger. excitement. fucking arousal. he makes me feel the way a cigarette does. which is crazy. i never thought i'd feel anything for anyone like that ever again. not since jongho.

i sit with silent admiration as he approaches me in the parking lot the next day. of course he has his resting bitch face on, but its one of the things i look forward to these days.

my hands are shaking inside my blazer pockets as i lean against the wall, my nicotine addiction not fulfilled for the day because i spent money on hairdye and forgot.

sans eyes shift to my now black hair and an awkward smile (i think its a smile?) sits on his face. "hey. did you get my texts?"

"my phone died," i say. i actually passed out after doing my hair last night, completely exhausted and terrified by the information that hit me. all that and i forgot to charge and bring my phone the next day.

"oh. i guess i have to say this in person then," san frowns. "i got an address and name for you. of the stalker."

my blood feels like cold sludge in my veins and i immediately feel more lightheaded. my stomach churns. "oh," i try to keep a straight face. "thank you."

he sighs and takes out a piece of paper. "before i show this to you. i want you to know wooyoung and i are planning to go to this address after school. you can come with us to confront the bastard. are you okay with that?"

my mouth is dry and i dont even know what to say. i didnt think he would actually find the creep. i dont even know if i can face him.

i nod with difficulty and san gives me the paper. my stomach immediately plunges like a fucking roller coaster.

no fucking way.

"i couldnt get his actual name. this is all thats available on his account." san sounds disappointed. his face drops further when i meet his eyes.

"are you okay? do you know this person?" he asks, hands hesitantly reaching out as if hes afraid im going to fall over.

i just cant believe it. after years and years i didnt ever think this could happen. but it makes sense, doesnt it? everythings starting to make sense.

"this is jongho's nickname," i utter lifelessly. "and this is his address."

"what?" san raises his voice. his eyes turn into planets. "the annoying prefect?? the one that hates you??"

i nod and almost start laughing. i almost start crying too. jongho is my stalker. he was my sisters stalker. i guess i shouldnt be surprised, he was literally in love with her. but me?

why me?

i cant fucking breathe.

it all gets worse. i reach for my asthma pump and it falls out of my blazer and plonks onto the cement. san picks it up and wipes it off, placing it in between my lips.

he pumps it for me, and i would almost consider this romantic if not for the fucked up circumstances we're always in.

"do you want me to hurt him?" san asks me seriously. "because i will."

i shake my head and scoff. "and face a lawsuit? you have nothing and jongho has everything."

san has a terrifying look on his face. "it doesnt have to be me. you know i know people that would make him pay for this."

i dont want him to pay. not yet. i just want him to be honest. i want this to fucking make sense.

"i knew he was fucked up but wow," i laugh to myself, making san more concerned. "imagine he did actually love me all this time? imagine he loved us both?"

"yaera." san sternly says. "process this and lets talk later. we have class. dont say anything to him or breathe near him. he could be dangerous. he couldve harmed..."

the sick feeling sweeps through me and i find it hard to digest. i gag and nearly throw up, but luckily nothing comes up. thinking of jongho, the asshole i cant stand but also one of my first loves throwing my sister off a canyon after strangling her is making me want to off myself harder than i thought.

and the image never leaves me.

even when we get to class, i find myself

lost in my own head thinking about it. i cant enjoy history for the life of me because im thinking of the past. im thinking of my parents that trusted him. yasmine trusted him too. so much. she thought he was fine with just being her friend.

no, im lying. she knew choi jongho wasnt fine with being just friends. i know she teased him with a relationship that would never happen. i know she kissed him a few times, maybe did something more. i know she led him on for years and he never really gave up because he thought they were perfect together. she could be cruel about it, the way she kept him on a leash.

now shes fucking dead.

"choi san!" someone screams, tearing me out of my thoughts as the classroom door roughly swings open. everyone stands up as our headmaster appears in the doorway, with...jongho behind him.

my breath hits a wall when i look at him, and hes glaring straight at san. the soccer coach is standing in the doorway as well.

san stands up awkwardly, confusion lined in his features. "yes sir?"

"it has come to our attention that items have gone missing from the boys lockerroom yesterday afternoon. choi jongho stated that you were the only one he saw hanging around that area at the time. can you confirm?" our headmaster asks, making the entire class fall into hushed whispers.

no fucking way. san is going red out of panic.

"i-i mean i was there. but i didnt steal anything. h-how or why would i?" san asks.

"you're a scholarship student," jongho spits at him like hes filth. "its not farfetched for you people to get carried away at a school like this. youre already here for free."

"excuss me?" mr grüne, my history teacher interrupts with a glare. "choi san is a good student he would never do such a thing. you can ask anyone of his teachers."

jongho lets out a spiteful laugh. "an expensive camera and watch have gone missing, i dont care about his reputation i care about my team. and choi san is the only person i saw at the lockerrooms yesterday!"

"i didnt steal anything," san defends, clenching his jaw as he grips his desk.

"then surely you will not mind us searching your locker?" the soccer coach says. san's face drops.

i hold my breath. i hold it because i know san has the camera hidden in his locker. we were supposed to confront jongho after school.

"i-"

"you cant search his locker," i say, scoffing and bringing the attention on me. "thats an invasion of privacy."

"its school property," headmaster corrects me. san is looking at me like hes internally begging me to stop. but i wont because i need to save him from himself.

"if you think he stole your shit, call the police," i say. jongho clenches his jaw at me.

thats right. you wont call the police because once they find your camera youre fucked.

"this doesnt concern you, ms marino," headmaster tells me sternly. "choi san im going to need you to come with us to give your locker combination please."

oh fuck. oh no oh fuck.

san slowly leaves the classroom and i can see jongho smirking evilly to himself. no way i cant let san go down like this. they'll destroy him. he doesnt know how to verbally defend himself.

"sir i need to be excused," i say and immediately bolt after them. i pull jongho to the side, making him glare and rip his arm from me. i grab him again, digging my nails into his skin.

"what the fuck are you doing? let go." he hisses at me.

"call the search off," i grit through my teeth. "call the fucking search off right now."

jongho chuckles. "and why would i do that?"

"because if you dont i'll take your camera to the police and let them know youve been stalking me and my dead sister," i say. his face crumbles.

in seconds jongho's smug grin shatters into utter disbelief. hes taking too long. san is going to get caught.

"go fucking call it off!" i snap. "tell headmaster your parents found it, say something or else im letting everyone know what a fucked up creep you really are."

jongho runs and nearly trips over his feet as he chases after our headmaster. my skin is pricky because im scared he wont get there in time. im scared san will go down for this. for MY doings.

i let out a sigh of relief when all four of them come walking back and san isnt in handcuffs. but jongho is giving me a terrified look. good, he should be fucking scared.

"i want to apologize to everyone here for interrupting your lesson and also choi san for the inconvenience," our headmaster says. "it was simply a misunderstanding."

mr grüne looks like he already knew san was innocent and san shrugs it off like nothing. he looks at me wondering how i did it. i mouth to him that we'll talk later. jongho drops something on my desk before he leaves, a note.

meet me on the soccerfield after break. i'll explain everything.

A/N: AYEEE NINGNING CAMEO ANYONE? AESPA X ATEEZ CRUMBS?

next chapter

[hyunllx]

Flopbb’s 2022 BBSIM Week 5

@ashlynbuggy​ bathroom-sand bisexyasami @bitterjurorssavetheday​ @charlchen-moonves​ @chumchunom​ @julieeexcheeen​ kemi-fucking-fakunle @lavenderkaty​ @leotheeworld​ @maxdoesbb​ pyrrheposts @skyhawkstragedy​ @whoblewboobear​ 

Recap

After managing to save herself from eviction in previous weeks @charlchen-moonves​ managed to secure herself the title of HOH. Following her past bold plays, she decided to take a stab at big targets @ashlynbuggy​ and @lavenderkaty​. While @lavenderkaty​ went on to win veto for herself, she and her allies came together to form a new alliance called Bullseye with the goal of also keeping @ashlynbuggy​ safe and which included @charlchen-moonves​’ ex-ally @leotheeworld​. However @charlchen-moonves​ remains a master of uncovering gameplay and put up a second member of Bullseyes, kemi-fucking-fakunle, who ultimately went home.

Filled with competition winners, will Bullseye manage to hold on to their domination of the house? We’ll have to see as Julie calls the houseguests into the backyard for the HOH competition. As outgoing HOH @charlchen-moonves​ is not eligible to compete.

After an hour and 4+ miles worth of travelling back and forth across the slippery graham cracker, @julieeexcheeen​ manages to fill her bowl up and pries the marshmallow free, becoming the new HOH!

After the HOH is finished and the competitors clean the chocolate water from their skin and hair, @julieeexcheeen​ meets privately with her alliance members @lavenderkaty​ and @skyhawkstragedy​ both members of Bullseye, though @julieeexcheeen​ is so far unaware of this.

Bullseye’s target is currently @charlchen-moonves​ for targeting and evicting three of their members, and it doesnt take much convincing to get @julieeexcheeen​ to agree, her having already considered the possible nomination. @charlchen-moonves​ did put up her ally and has several times exposed peoples’ private alliances and secrets, so it’s in her best interest to take her out before their trio alliance is also exposed.

Friday

The nomination ceremony begins early friday, the houseguests sleepily gathering in the kitchen as @julieeexcheeen​ names her nominees for this week.

@charlchen-moonves​ seems rather unsurprised to see her face appear on the memory wall. @julieeexcheeen​ states that @charlchen-moonves​ is both a comp threat and a social threat in the house, and no one feels safe making deals or alliances while she is around and thats a problem for the her own game. @bitterjurorssavetheday​ is just a pawn this week.

Later that night I approach @julieeexcheeen​ in the HOH room about putting my ally @charlchen-moonves​ on the block. She reiterates the points she made during nominations and I point out that if she has nothing to hide why would @charlchen-moonves​ be a bigger threat than @leotheeworld​ who has won just as many competitions or @lavenderkaty​ who has been proven to have a strong social influence. @julieeexcheeen​ gets defensive when I question why she would put up only one strong threat and not multiple and the conversation turns into a short argument. I leave the HOH room before the situation escalates further.

Saturday

With the veto competition fast approaching, the houseguests gather to pick their players. @julieeexcheeen​ pulls former enemy of her alliance @whoblewboobear​ @charlchen-moonves​ picks me with houseguest’s choice as I’m currently her closest ally and will certainly take her off the block, and @bitterjurorssavetheday​ pulls Bullseye member @maxdoesbb​ 

Before the competition begins @bitterjurorssavetheday​ approaches @maxdoesbb​ to ask if he would use the veto on her if he wins. @maxdoesbb​ agrees, however does not plan on keeping the promise. @charlchen-moonves​ is Bullseye’s target and using the veto might cause another member of the alliance to go up next to her, so @maxdoesbb​ really plans to throw this veto again.

Following the lead of legend Dan Gheesling @maxdoesbb​ throws the competition first round, and slowly the number of competitors dwindle by wrong guesses until @julieeexcheeen​ and I are left. In the final round, she manages to grab the victory by earning the most points, giving @julieeexcheeen�� total power for this week!

Sunday

Just like last week the houseguests are given the opportunity to opt-in for a small luxury competition in the spare room off the HOH room. More people participate this week, but @whoblewboobear​ beats them out, winning a small cash prize for themself!

Monday

Monday afternoon the houseguests gather for the veto ceremony in the living room. @bitterjurorssavetheday​ knows she is a pawn so @julieeexcheeen​ likely wont use the veto but she knows pawns usually go home and it may be smarter to put up a stronger target. @charlchen-moonves​ assures @julieeexcheeen​ she’s not going after her as there are bigger targets in the house.

Ultimately @julieeexcheeen​ decides not to use the power of veto, leaving the nominations the same.

Monday

Determined to not be another pawn caught in the crossfire of bigger players, @bitterjurorssavetheday​ pulls @ashlynbuggy​ and @maxdoesbb​ aside, asking for their vote to stay in the house. As @charlchen-moonves​ is the target of the Bullseye alliance that they both belong to, they agree to help her campaign and say they will vote to keep her.

They bring the news of this alliance to Bullseye later that night and the rest of the alliance also agrees, and seems glad to have an extra scapegoat to help them if need be.

Thursday

Thursday comes rather slowly, Julie gathering the houseguests in the living room after a rather boring week. That could be either a good or a bad sign depending on the result of the eviction.

Standing when prompted, @charlchen-moonves​ announces again that her goal is to break up the alliance forming between strong players, particularly @ashlynbuggy​ and @lavenderkaty​. @bitterjurorssavetheday​ reminds the house of @charlchen-moonves​’ previous snooping and public blow ups, stating the house cant trust she’ll only go after those she says she will.

One by one the houseguests are called to vote.

@charlchen-moonves​ 3 - 0 @lavenderkaty​ 

@charlchen-moonves​ 5 - 1 @bitterjurorssavetheday​

Even with @lavenderkaty​ seemingly voting against her own alliance, its official @charlchen-moonves​ will be evicted this week, but lets see how the other votes fall.

By a vote of 7 to 1, @charlchen-moonves​ you have been evicted from the BBSIM house!

[swfteverlqrk]

He looks good with kids.

Bucky x female!reader

Warnings: Kids. Jk, none, pure fluff.

Summary: Yn heart can't love more Bucky, but it can when she sees him with kids.

A/N: I gave a warning that i wanted to just write about domestic/Dad bucky. Is just the first of a thousand of bucky's fic's :)

You arrived with your hand holding Bucky's.

"Aunt yn!" a little girl ran to you. 

“Hey mor!” you let go of Bucky´s hand and hold the little girl. “how is my princess doing?” 

“I dont want to be a princess anymore!” she said with a frown, you put her down. 

“Why?” you tried to not laugh. 

“Because if i want to be a queen, im gonna have to get married... with a...” she made a long pause, trying to say the next words. “boy! ew!” she said with a repulsive expression. 

that was something you loved about the kids, their honesty, saying everything uncensored, you saw Bucky trying not to laugh next to you. “Morgan, say hi to Bucky, dont be rude.”

“Hi, Mr Barnes.” she was shy, and added a little wave, without leaving your side. 

“Call me Bucky.” he winked at her, which made the girl blush, who could blame her?. 

she nodded and then her mother appeared “Morg, go play.” the little girl obey and got inside the house. “Im so glad you could make it” she greeted huging you and gave your boyfriend a warm and friendly handshake. “But please come in”.

you took Bucky´s hand again, and got inside the house, it was such a warm and really normal and familiar house, you wouldnt guess it was Tony Stark place, it wasnt a big mansion as he used to, it didnt have any  technology gadget, and they had a yard, more like a yard it was a private forest, where all the avengers were. 

“Im going to say hi to Natasha” you said, seeing her in the distance. 

“Ok, i´ll go with Steve and Sam.” you nodded, Bucky kissed your cheek and headed to Natasha. 

“Hey you!” your friend hugged you with one arm, cause she was holding a two month baby on her free arm, her daughter “Hey Thea, im your aunt, yn.” 

the baby girl smiled at hearing your voice. “Can i hold her?” 

“Of course!” she handed you the baby, when you took her in your arms, Nat sat down, glad that her arms could rest for a while. “Where´s Bucky?” 

“Over there with your husband and Sam” 

“It´s dangerous when they get together” you chuckled, giving her the reason, the baby start to cry. “Oh, let me” 

“No,Nat, i can, dont cry Thea.” you rocked her and started singing to her. “ Hey Dorothea

Do you ever stop and think about me?

When we were younger

Down in the park”

“Doesnt she looks gorgeous with kids?” Bucky asked his two friends, they rolled their eyes. 

“Uncle Bucky!” a boy approached. 

“Hey kids!” they high five, smiling, it were AJ and Cass wilson, Sam nephews. 

“Did you brought us what we asked for?” the soldier nodded, they went to his car, where he let out some water guns. 

“Cool, thank you!” the younger one hugged his uncle and ran after his brother. 

“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!” Sarah shouted at him, oops. “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?, YOU GAVE MY BOYS WATER GUNS!" 

Nat noticed bucky´s scared face while Sarah continued shouting at him. “Yn, your boyfriend is in trouble.”

“What?” you turned to see Bucky in the entrance. “I´ll be back.” you gave her Thea, and walked. “What´s going on?” 

“James gave my kids water guns!” 

your eyes opened surprised. “Why?, Bucky what...?”

“They asked me to, they texted me!” he said innocent. 

“If something happens, they are your kids” Sarah said at Bucky and left, she was a good mom, she wanted what was best for her kids. 

you went to sit with Bucky, saying hi to Thor and Jane, until three little girls, Morgan Stark, Cassie Lang and the younger who was Alice Quill walked there. “Auntie yn, can you come play with us?” Morgan said with a small pout. 

“I´ll love it, but im going to help Sam, Sarah and Vision, to get the food ready. 

“I can play with you.” Bucky said letting go of your hand. “If you want to.”

the three girls looked at you, where you just nodded. “Go, he is funny!” your boyfriend got up and walked. Morgan took the initiative and took Bucky´s hand. 

“So, prince, which is your first decrete?” Cassie Lang said laughing, it been thirty minutes and the girls were comfortable now with the ex soldier, hugging him, holding his hands. 

“That i get a bigger crown.” he took his princess crown off, which was hurting him, making the three girls laugh. 

“Hands up! We are taking him”  The older Wilson said, pointing with his water gun.

“He is our prince, you cant take him.” The little Quill said, trying hard to hold to Bucky. 

“We can!” Billy Maximoff said, he took A.J gun and got Bucky back wet. 

‘i see why Sarah hated me for the water guns’ bucky thought to himself. 

The boys were shooting water to the girls, and them throwing grass and toys, your boyfriend got up and tried to run. 

“He is leaving!” Billy said, and all ran after him, you wouldnt guess that the weight of 7 kids could make a super soldier fall to the ground. 

“Is little yn in love?” a girl voice said, Carol Danvers. 

“Hey, Danvers” you turned and hugged her. “How are you?” 

you started catching up, she telling you stories about the space, once in a while you turned to see Bucky in the ‘jail’, that was a playpen, where all the kids put him.

“You know his wife, will come to rescue him, right?” Morgan said to A.J while having a tea party.

“What wife?” 

“Yn, duh.” she said as it was the only option. 

“They arent married” the boy said. 

“yes they are.” A.J just shooked his head. 

“Kids, the food is ready!” Sam shouted and the kids ran, Bucky got up from the playpen  that they took from Thea, he approached you. 

“I was expecting you to come to my rescue"he said resting his chin on your neck.

"Oh no, did you saw them? They had guns" you teased him, turning around to see him.

"Yn! You can stop time!" He said like a little kid, maybe an hour with 7 seven kids was more than enough.

"Here, you hamburger" You just said handing him the plate, with the bun and meat.

"Thank you, where we'll sit?"

You looked around searching for an empty table. "There" you pointed. "I was thinking of telling Sarah and Sam to sit with us".

Your boyfriend nodded, and taking your hand, you walked to the table, you were going to start eating when three girls approached the table.

"Aunt...yn... Can we, sit here?" Morgan Stark said shy, with Cassie and Alice by her side.

"Uh..." You looked at your boyfriend who with his look, he told you it was fine. "Sure, come."

"Guys, they said yes!" Morgan shouted and four more kids appeared.

"i thought it was only you three" Bucky said, trying not to laugh.

They sat, Morgan between you and Bucky, the food was delicious, and the kids were a good company. Bucky went for Soda, and coming back to his place he kissed your cheek, making you blush.

"I told you they are married!" Morgan said to A.J, biting her food.

"W-what?" You almost choke with the soda.

"Morgan thinks you two are married, but I've been telling her, you are just boyfriend and girlfriend" A.J said tired of the same argument.

"We are not married, sweetie" you cleared to the little Stark, who frown her eyebrows, confused.

"Then, why you kiss?, My mom and dad told me only married people do that." She looked at you, waiting for an answer, she was really confused, Bucky just smiled a bit.

"Because...umm..." You made a pause thinking what to answer, all the kids look where on you in that moment.

"We are going to get married, we're engaged." Bucky finally said, the most serious he could, not making notice it was a lie.

"When?" Cassie asked excited.

"Soon, in a few years, right yn?" You nodded, you let out a relief sigh, until two boys voices started arguing.

"Hey, Billy, Tommy, what is going on?"

"He took my chips without asking!" Tommy answered, looking at his brother wanting to kill him.

"But Tommy doesn't wants to share!" They started arguing again.

"Don't fight. Billy, we asked for things, and Tommy we have to share" they rolled their eyes, knowing their were being scolded. "Now Tommy, apologize"

"B-but."

"Tommy!" You looked at him, really serious. He took air and apologize, same with Billy. "Now both of you, go for more chips." They got up and murmuring they said something like 'she acted just like mom'

The food time was over, you and Bucky played hide and seek with the kids, when it was the soldiers turn to found you, Alice was the only one who hided with you, but when you had to find them, you knew wherever was Bucky you'll find at least a fifty percent of the kids. The time passed quickly hiding, and laughing.

"Who wants dessert?" Pepper said to the kids, whose eyes opened wide.

"Come on, Uncle Bucky!" Morgan took one hand of his and Cassie another, and walked together, but Alice started to cry.

"Um, Buck, you left something here." You said while Alice was on your arms.

"Sorry, baby, come on" he pointed his back with his head, and you put the little girl there. "Hold on tight" She did, putting her little arms around Bucky neck, while walking to the food area.

Once they got their dessert, including Bucky, all went to sit and start playing charades, you only heard kids real laughs, making you smile.

"Kids, why don't you go for yn?, she loves to play this, but it's to shy" Billy and Cassie nodded and went to grab you while you were with Tony and Steve.

"Come play with us, aunt yn!" Both making a pout. "Uncle Bucky said you like to play!"

"He did?" You gave a killing look to the blue eyed man, who just lift his shoulders innocent. "Fine, let's go"

You left Tony and Steve, and went play, you sat next to Bucky, his arm around your shoulders, that pose didn't last, because when you got up to play, Morgan took your place next to Bucky. 'Oh, so Bucky is the new favorite' you thought seeing him surrounded by all of them.

The day was over, after saying bye to Gamora, Quill and Alice, you helped Pepper to clean a bit.

"You know something, yn?" She said serious.

"Mhm?" You were picking up the plates and cups.

"All this afternoon, i saw a girl with Bucky, you should be more careful."

A girl? Which girl? All of the avengers girls were taken, you thought for a few seconds, but no one came to your mind, until Pepper told you to turn, where it was your boyfriend and the girl who wanted to steal him, Morgan, watching the Sunset, she was in his arms, one arm on his neck, while he was talking to her, not being to able hear, but seeing him with kids, to see his sweet and soft side made your heart melt.

"So, you see, the sun loves the moon so much, he goes to let her shine for hours." The girl's eye opened wide at the story.

"Morgan, they have to go." Her mother said walking to her.

"Stay to sleep, please?" Morgan said with a pout, without letting go of Bucky.

"We are going to stay at the Roger's, baby girl." You told her, which made her sad. "But, if you behave, we can make a sleepover next week at my place!"

Her eyes shined, and a smile appeared. "Really?"

"Of course, beautiful, but you have to be nice, ok?" Your boyfriend told the little girl putting her down.

"Mom, he calls me beautiful! He doesn't calls yn that" she tried to whisper but failed, Pepper just nodded, taking her hand, getting inside of the house"Bye guys." Morgan shouted before entering the house.

"what?" Your boyfriend noticed you looking at him.

"nothing..." You chuckled softly, and got into the Rogers car.

A few days later.

You were making breakfast, when your phone rang, the contact name was Tony Stark, it was a FaceTime. What if something had happened to him? Was he okay? You answered nervous, but when the camera opened, you saw Morgan, making you feel relieved.

"Hey Morgan!" You greeted her.

"Hi, aunt yn!" You could tell her she was trying to see the house, looking for something. "Are you alone?"

"Yes?"you said confused" But one friend is coming over."

"Oh, is not uncle Bucky there?" You chuckled, of course she wanted to see her 'uncle'.

"No sweetie" you shook your head, making Morgan eyes sad. "He went to help uncle Sam with something, he'll be back at night."

"Oh okay, I'll call him then! Bye." You were going to talk but she hang up.

The night came and your boyfriend went to your place to say hi and having dinner.

While eating dinner, you said to him about the morning call.

"I received a weird call today"

"What?, From who?" He asked looking up from his dumplings.

"A girl you know." You said serious, like you were mad.

"come on yn, it was Wanda? Or Carol, or Natasha?" You shook your head.

"Morgan Stark" He laughed.

"Wait, why?"

"She wanted to talk to you, you should call her" your look went back to your noodles.

"Are you jealous that she prefers me?" He teased you, making you laugh.

"No..."

"Yes, you are." He pointed his fork at you, making you let out a good laugh.

"Just call Morgan!" You said playing you were angry, after dinner he did, you heard how Morgan told him all about school, and her toys, and dolls, all that she could ever think about, and he was paying attention, gasping every minute about something she said or showed.

Your heart melted again. 'He looks so good with kids'.