#the hardest and most rewarding thing i've ever done in my life but television gives it no justice just letting y'all know

[waitmyturtles]

In this edition of FUCK, THINGS GOT REEEEEEEAL GOOD: Step By Step, episode 9 thoughts:

First off:

THANK GOD THAT BABY IS OKAY, BUT I'D LIKE A FOLLOW-UP UPDATE ON THEIR HEALTH, PLEASE.

I'm a mom. A slightly traumatic birth scene in a BL! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I'm talking with @lurkingshan about this, but I'm going to leave the timeline issues of the pregnancy to the real SBS experts. If the baby was OKAY and CRYING after a traumatic labor like that, my mom spidey sense says the baby was likely 34 weeks or above. Otherwise, that would more of a real emergency situation, with the need for a very sterile environment, and a really fast, emergency transport to a hospital and a NICU. (Also, around 34 weeks is when moms are advised to not be far from a hospital -- at least in the States -- in the case of this emergency onset birth situation, so that's what's leading to my guess about Ae.) Again, this means that the show may have made a big-ass timeline jump, and I don't think I'm expert enough to apply that to Pat and Jeng, so I'm gonna leave that alone.

Also, at THAT stage of pregnancy, late and belly-dropping.... yeah. Maybe a short stop on a bus can induce labor. We have a family member whose labor was induced when she tripped from a bus. (Real quick education, family: if someone around you breaks water, GET THEM TO A HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY if you can, the risk of infection SKYROCKETS after water breaks.)

Okay. Give me babies and I give you mom. Let me step away from that for a second to say:

The show FINALLY GOT GOOD, for my tastes.

Tee Bundit got an editor. We got CRISP dialogue. SMART writing. The episode fit what it needed in its runtime. That's all I was asking for, dear Tee.

We got words. We got real descriptions about boundaries. We got real resistance to CROSSING those boundaries. We got meditations on how to DEAL with those boundaries. We saw Jeng RECOGNIZING that those boundaries are preventing Pat from coming to Jeng intimately, and that Jeng HAS A RESPONSIBILITY to DEAL with those boundaries, instead of ONLY leading with his heart, in a difficult boss-employee situation. We got Jeng managing his heart, yes, but also DEALING ACTIVELY with being PROFESSIONAL as well, and recognizing that he has to STEP AWAY from his role as Pat's superior. GOOD, JENG.

We have Pat still Pat-ing. Pat's like, I'm not gonna date my boss, but also, he liiiikkkeess meeee? He's too good for meeeeeee! PAT, jesus. Thank you, Jen, for working on dusting off our guy. (@lurkingshan, I was literally JUST writing this, lol.)

But also, thank gawd -- at least we have PAT SPEAKING UP and using his words. Like an adult. (?!) And -- being EMPOWERED to USE his words by his WONDERFULLY COMMUNICATIVE PARENTS! So, now we see that Pat, while raised in a sad environment with the separation of his parents, is actually attuned to..... talking and using his words regarding his emotions! We know and see that he can do it -- because his parents can do it, and therefore modeled that behavior for him. (Amarin Nitibhon, great dad in 10 Years Ticket, great dad in Step By Step, keep being a great dad!)

But Pat's still gotta keep Pat-ing, and he's still confused, and... what? He's surrounded by snacks and might need the further reflection of another older adult in Jeng to get deep in his feelings.

I don't know if my read is accurate on this. Is Pat the kind of person that NEEDS people around him to help him reveal his complicated feelings to himself? I think so. He's a young adult, kind of overwhelmed by everything going on, his sister dropped a baby in public (HE'S AN UNCLE NOWWWWWWW) --

Homeboy is GROWING UP. Step by step? Maybe the point of this show is that you don't grow up as well in this world, step by step, without leveraging your family and community around you as best as you can. I like that read, but I don't know if it's accurate yet.

I'm gonna leave the rest of the meta to the real SBS experts. Thank gawd the baby was born okay, but I'm gonna need an update. If Tee Bundit gives me breastfeeding in the next episode, I WILL give him flowers in Thailand, FOR REAL. Come awn. Don't stop at birth! It'll be a good excuse to show SOME body parts -- maybe not the ones we expect, though, ha.

And we get funsies with Pat and Jeng, finally, next week?! Let's motherfucking go.

EDITING TO ADD: Any moms out there watching SBS? I need fellow moms to laugh/cry/emote at all that childbirth stuff with.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from Netflix's "A Series of Unfortunate Events: A Bad Beginning: Part Two"

I'm sorry to say that the alleged entertainment you are watching is extremely unpleasant.

From the beginning of this miserable tale to the last melancholy scene, I cannot think of a single line, a single word, that does not chill me to my deepest bones.

"Why?" you may ask.

Do you know what the question I'm asked the most is?

Will you please leave the premises?

Why do I do it?

Why respond to the siren song that the Spanish call 'El Theater'?"

For fame and fortune?

For the costumes!

Where are the costumes?

Stay in the car.

Well, we've got to reach them. Try Peru.

I'm keeping an eye on things best I can

I present it to you now in the hopes that the police inspectors, concerned citizens and television executives might finally leave me alone.

I have an appointment for a haircut right now.

Well, in that case, we're going to need a map of the city.

You'll never get away with this.

I already did get away with it.

Put some elbow grease into it!

Who knows what would happen to us on the street?

At least here we have a roof over our head.

Can I warm that up for you? And also give you some very bad news?

When I was a little boy, I would have given my eyeteeth to be raised by an actor.

I have terrible friends.

It sounds like Latin.

Now, I'm sorry if I have to usher you out posthaste, but I've got work to do.

I'll have my new secretary give you a ride home as soon as he's finished typing up that report.

Shall I let them off the hook?

I spent all morning making these cupcakes for you.

They're store bought!

Aren't raspberries delicious?

I'm afraid I may have acted a bit standoffish.

I want you to participate in my next play.

It tells the story of a very handsome and good-looking man, played by me.

A pretty girl like you shouldn't be working backstage.

It's a very important role

What did you call me?

I'm not sure I'm talented enough to perform professionally.

I would prefer it if you participate voluntarily

The point is, I can order you to participate, and you must obey.

I can't stand looking at you anymore.

Killing us will do him no good.

I have never been married myself.

Are you here to continue your research?

I have quite the interest in theater, you know.

I would give up every last wig just to wear a costume.

I'm actually considering a career in law. I find those books quite fascinating.

There are countless types of books in this world, which makes good sense because there are countless types of people.

[NAME], what's happened to your face?

No, no, no, it should be delicate! Fetching!

I just think, even in changing context, that marriage is an inherently patriarchal construction

Are you leaving?

Oh, there we go, sweet girl.

Does that mean what I think it means?

It means you're going to be a star.

You have got the star quality necessary for a small walk-on role

Now, you can see it.

It's a very important part, although you won't be listed in the program.

All my life I wanted to be a bride

It's almost too good to be true.

Spend some time with your new father.

Seize the children!

I have three kinds of butter cream icing here for you to sample. One's vanilla, one has a hint of nutmeg and the other's a little lemony.

I told you never to say that word.

We'll order takeout.

Let me eat cake.

You can't just keep us in here.

What do you think will happen to you then?

I'm gonna stay up all night with a book.

The book was not at all interesting. The book was long and difficult.

What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in your room.

I was in my room all night, and I know what you're up to.

Me? I'm just having my morning coffee

If you use fancy-pants words first thing in the morning,

you're going to end up a very lonely man.

I figured out your scheme.

You don't know the difference between figuratively and literally, do you?

I'm leaping in the air because I'm very happy.

I'm so happy I could jump for joy, but I'm saving my energy for other matters.

This play won't be pretend. It'll be real and legally binding.

A man like me can acquire any number of beautiful women

What's in it for me?

Can you name me a language that was spoken by ancient Romans and is still spoken by very irritating people today?

Whatever will we do?

I guess that proves reading really is fundamental.

But I'm not old enough to get married.

It certainly is so strange to find a child missing, and one so small, so helpless.

When did you see her last?

Did you hear that? It came from outside.

Oh, you're not looking in the right place.

Oh, don't look so down.

Let her go. She's done nothing to you.

Please, she's just a baby.

Just don't harm her.

I would never, ever marry you.

Any animal owner will tell you that a stubborn mule will move toward the carrot because it wants the reward of food and away from the stick because it wants to avoid the punishment of rump pain.

Would it be so terrible to be my bride, to live in my house for the rest of your life?

You're a terrible man.

I may be a terrible man, but I have concocted a foolproof way of getting your fortune.

What have you done?

I wish I had an inventor here.

You came.

You sent for me.

Things are disastrous. Everything's gone wrong.

What went wrong?

Why would anyone listen to a consultant?

Are you free Friday night to attend the theater?

But what shall we do until then?

Could you cut these ropes for me?

You should get some sleep.

It's my turn.

I didn't help us.

You just didn't finish the job.

Let me keep my promise.

Having a brilliant idea isn't as easy as turning on a light.

But just as a single bulb can illuminate even the most depressing of rooms, the right idea can shed light on a depressing situation.

It's so wonderful that, in addition to your many talents, you have a marvelous eye for fashion.

Tell me if this is too much.

How pleasant that you could join us.

What are you gonna do with me?

It was a grappling hook.

I understand she's yours.

I'm not his bride.

You know, some people say that the hardest job in the world is raising a child.

I'll touch whatever I want.

What happened? Why are we up here?

It's so high. You must have been terrified.

I'm sorry it didn't work.

The invention worked fine. I just got caught.

You're gonna need to flip it a couple of times, like, okay?

And don't touch the baby!

Do you think you could invent something to help us escape?

I am certain that over the course of your own life, you have noticed that certain rooms reflect the personalities of the occupants.

If we had kerosene, we could make Molotov cocktails with those old wine bottles.

What are Molotov cocktails?

They're small bombs. If we throw them out the window, we could attract attention.

It's time for the big event.

Taking the role of a handsome man is certainly a brave choice.

Is it a stretch for you?

I think live theater is a much more powerful medium

than, say, streaming television.

Evil plot?

The wedding will be around 10 PM, followed by champagne toasts, reception with cake and finger food, then the after-party at the Mexican place.

All my anxieties are put to rest.

Don't distract me with idle chatter.

Get it absolutely right.

Change of plans. Sit here. Don't distract her.

Don't suppose you know how to play poker.

Would you like to deal?

I am very handsome, but I am only one man.

He's so handsome.

If I can't have him, my heart will literally break.

That can't be true!

But that piece of paper's not an official document.

I think you'll see that it is figuratively real.

I'm afraid this marriage is entirely binding.

This is absolutely horrendous. I won't allow it!

I'm afraid there's nothing you can do.

You were easily tricked!

It was child's play, winning this fortune.

You promised to let her go!

You idiot! What are you doing?

So, you escaped, you little dishrag.

Well, that doesn't count.

You're just being a sore loser and trying to ruin my special day.

You should never be afraid to admit that you don't know something.

This is a very complicated case.

It would take a formidable legal scholar to solve it.

It was thoroughly impressive and utterly convincing.

I'm even considering firing your associate

I was kidnapped

I'll get my hands on your fortune if it's the last thing I do.

You have to capture him! You have to go after him!

You let the authorities worry about that.

Sorry, but the children must come with me.

Some things in life are difficult to understand, even after years and years of thinking about them while wandering alone through desolate landscapes, usually during the off-season.

The world is quiet here.

As with so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it isn't so.

Things are worse than we thought.

Then we don't have a moment to lose.

What's a woman like you building in a place like this?

Leave no stone unturned.