#the hair department probably had fun this episode

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

Leverage S02E04 The Fairy Godparents Job.

[barren-heart]

The Hidden Love Story of What We Do in the Shadows: How The Internet Fell in Love with Harvey Guillen’s Guillermo de la Cruz

I think it’s fair to call this show what it is: a comedy.

The actors have said it’s themselves: the show is 50% improv, 50% script. A lot of what we see is a brilliant collaboration of talent, writing, and the actors saying the funniest thing they can say about something in that moment.

According to Harvey Guillen, some scenes would last 30 minutes each if they didn’t cut it down. That improv is what makes the show what is it: the funniest show on television.

What’s interesting about this little Shit and Fart show (affectionate), is the heart of it all: Guillermo.

Originally the show was looking for an older man to play Nandor’s familiar. The character had worked for his master for 20 years, not 10 as we see in the pilot episode.

Harvey got an audition randomly. At a wine and cheese night of a friend’s, he was invited to audition for the part. It was random, but also, it was fate.

Let me explain.

Harvey Guillen auditioning for the role of Guillermo

(I actually have the full audition tape of Harvey’s if anyone’s interested.) Link below!

Harvey didn’t “fit the part” (Harvey’s words) whatsoever of this character and decided to dress himself to look older, putting on what he calls his Harry Potter glasses and parted his hair down the middle.

The Guillermo we see in the pilot was all Harvey’s idea of what that character should be and the costuming department just ran with it. It’s also fun to point out that to those who don’t know, Harvey created Guillermo’s last name even before he knew he’d play the show’s Vampire Slayer.

I mention this because I don’t think they (showrunner, producers,etc) expected Guillermo to become such a fan favorite. Which kinda explains why his character is the punching bag of season one and why it somewhat changes as seasons go by.

I mean, we don’t even see Guillermo in this season one poster (we don’t see Colin Robinson, either. But I feel like I could write an entirely other post about that character and why I think he’s genuinely the best and most consistently written character on the show. But I won’t right now).

I think they expected Guillermo to be a one-note side kick, which is fine. Many of Harvey’s previous roles were nearly background characters (think Benedict Pickwick in The Magicians).

But, Harvey’s take on the character coupled with his talent at being both comedic and dramatic really shined through. And I think that’s where you start to see that maybe they could do more with him than just being the funny guy in the background.

I also think that’s why you start to see some threading of a more serious plot when it comes to Guillermo’s storyline because of Harvey’s range.

Who would’ve known a funny bit like being a Van Helsing descent in a house full of vampires would get you compelling scenes like the familiar fight The Night Market, Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, and the Nandor and Guillermo fight in The Portrait?

Harvey mentioned having to train for these and wanted to do his own stunts! And he does them well!

Did they imagine Guillermo being such a badass in the pilot? Probably not. But he is and people took to it. The serious fight scenes (even with bits of comedy filtered in) really stand out in their own as excellent action scenes.

Along with badass scenes, Harvey delivered compelling emotional scenes like Guillermo’s coming out (which Harvey actually cried in as well as other cast and crew, and they had to edit it to not make it too serious), the scene he left Nandor for Celeste, and many scenes in S5’s Exit Interview.

I also think they didn’t anticipate his chemistry with Kayvan Novak. It’s brought up a lot in interviews with them and everyone can tell that they genuinely are really good friends in real life, which makes acting together on screen that much better.

(Funny enough, he was supposed to do a chemistry read with Kayvan before shooting and wasn’t able to meet him until they were on set for the pilot. )

I think in some ways, even though the show wanted it to be a funny Gaston and Lefou type relationship, Kayvan and Harvey had undeniable chemistry you couldn’t deny.

And I think that began to grow with their character’s evolving relationship. From master and servant to friends to sometimes the show and network alluding to them being in a romance (Guillermo’s drunk love confession, Marwa liking what Nandor likes, the Network making videos about shipping Nandermo).

And even Paul Simms (the one who is being grilled for That’s His Boss quote), also said “Guillermo and Nandor is the greatest love story in modern television.”

So yeah, I think originally they started the show with the intention that it was supposed to be similar to the movie that shares its name. The Nandor/Guillermo drama of Shadows the TV show would be so out of place in the movie. The whole Guillermo vampire arc, if it was movie inspired, would not be as dramatic as they have made it in the show.

Looking back to the pilot, I can see that they really tried to make it as close to the source material as possible. But I think it took off in a direction that even the creators didn’t imagine it would go. Just a silly little comedy show about silly little vampires. And don’t get me wrong, it still definitely is.

But the show has evolved. And for better or worse, Nandor and Guillermo’s relationship will be one of the most compelling things about the show and I’m curious where they are going to take it now.

I guess this turned into a bit of an Harvey Guillen appreciation post and honestly, why not? Look at that adorable face.

[merlot-and-chardonnay]

A Lark Among the Wolves and Dragons: Chapter 8

Chapter 7

"Thank you," you say to Geralt, taking his hand in yours from the tub.

Geralt nods and stands up, fixing to remove his clothing so he could join you. Knowing what he was up to, you move up forward so he could get in behind you.

You lean into him, your back meeting his chest.

"I need to talk to Ciri," you say, "Let her know how sorry I am." "She's resting right now," Geralt says, "you can tell her in the morning. Besides, she probably already knows how sorry you are."

You sigh a bit, and turn to face the man, "if you don't mind, Geralt, I'd like to forget about all this at the moment."

Nodding, Geralt leans back against the tub, relaxing as he lets you get on his lap. You start feeling up and down his body, eventually one hand weaving through his hair and another reaching for his groin.

The witcher grunted as you started to work him. In return, Geralt took one hand and snuck it between your legs, rubbing circles where you would feel the most pleasure.

This continued until he eventually came, with you not following too far behind. You lean into Geralt's chest, relaxing from that little session.

He helps you out of the tub and to dry off, before he carries you to the bed.

Once Geralt was laying on his back, you rest your head on his chest as he wraps an arm around your, pressing a kiss to your head.

"You've been so good to me, Geralt," you mutter as you're about to fall asleep, "I love you."

Geralt's eyes widen a bit as this was the first time you ever told him that. It was this moment, he realized how much he's come to love you too; it was different from the kind of love he felt for Yennefer, it wasn't artificially constructed from a demonic magical monster, it was real and organic.

He was about to say it back, but noticed you were already deep in sleep. He sighed a bit, resting his head back on the pillow. He would have plenty of time to express his feelings in the morning.

----------meanwhile------------------

While you and Geralt were carrying on with your splish-splash sexy fun times, some people in the keep were off doing their own thing.

After putting Ciri to bed, Eskel, Coen, and Lambert went to the village down below to have their own fun at the taverns and/or brothels.

Vesemir had stayed to look into something.

After putting Aemma to bed, the elder witcher had retreated to the library for some extra studying.

There was something he needed to look into concerning the possible origins of your daughter's paternal side of the family, but unfortunately, no such books were available in Kaer Morhen. Even if the library was still intact from the sacking that took place decades ago, the School of the Wolf was never interested in educating its students in history, especially history outside the Continent.

Nevertheless, after that episode of yours earlier today, Vesemir had felt this was something that needed to be looked into.

Luckily Tris was able to help in that department by borrowing several promises texts from the library in Aretuza.

Vesemir currently had two texts before him, one that described the complete history of Westeros, and another on a history on the origins of dragons. The last one, Vesemir found to be an odd choice, but accepted it nonetheless.

He opened the fist book, quickly scanning through the first couple chapters until he got to the descriptions of the current ruling house of this particular realm. Pictures of people with silver blonde hair and violet eyes were scattered over the pages amongst the writing.

Silver hair and violet eyes...just like Aemma's, Vesemir thinks.

The old man didn't quite want to believe it, but if his suspicions were correct, there was a possibility your daughter may possess royal blood within her veins, and not just that, it was blood of a house whose origins could be traced to a place and time that was long gone. Remnants of a bygone era that was once ruled by dragons and dragon riders, as evident in the emblem of the three headed dragon. 

Vesemir then skipped to the last bit of the book to the present to learn more of the current ruling monarch of the Seven Kingdoms.

----------flashback: the Red Keep----------------

"(y/n)?" you hear Rhaenyra speak to you. You were educating her on the kingdoms across the Continent, and this was the moment you felt your stomach turn again.

You manage to shake it off once your heard the princess get your attention, "Oh, forgive me, princess," you tell her, "I uh, I was feeling nauseated, but I'm alright now. Where were we?"

"I believe we were discussing Redania," Rhaenyra answers.

"Oh right, Redania," you say, pointing to the map, "The eagle in a sea of red and gold. The current ruling monarch of that kingdom is Vizimir, but if a match was to be made, you would probably be betrothed to his brother, Prince Radovid." "Does he have a court mage?" the princess asks. "Ah, Phillipa Eilhart," you say, "from what I've heard, she specializes in polymorphism magic." Rhaenyra gave you a confused look, "she can shift her appearance," you explain, "like animals."

"Fascinating," the princess says, looking at the map again, "what about Cintra? Any prospects there?" "You really want to consider Cintra as a prospect?" you snort, "or would you see this as an opportunity to meet the Lioness herself?"

"...perhaps," Rhaenyra admits, averting her gaze, "She sounds like a woman to admire. She's fought in battles and wears armor like a man would. Much like the wives of my forebear Aegon the Conqueror."

"Well, Queen Calanthe I don't imagine would be looking for any matches right now," you admit, "it took years for her to marry off her own daughter and many more to say yes to her current husband from Skellige. Besides she doesn't have any sons. The Princess Pavetta died in a tragic accident years ago. The Queen is survived by her granddaughter, Princess Cirilla."

"Cirilla," Rhaenyra repeats, "A beautiful name."

"Yes, I suppose it-" you feel your stomach turn again. "Are you alright?" Rhaenyra asks with concern.

"Yeah," you say, standing, bending over a bit, "Excuse me, princess."

You rush over to the open window and hurl the contents of your stomach once more.

"Are you unwell, (y/n)?" Rhaenyra rushes over to pull your hair back as you hurl again, "If I recall, this is what got you in trouble yesterday."

You recall back to yesterday when you got sick. Then you think back to how long this sickness has been going on. It's been on and off for the last several weeks...now that you think about this had been going on for nearly two months, since the day Daemon left and Rhaenyra was named new heir to the Iron Throne.

"Perhaps I am not," you admit, wiping your mouth. Rhaenyra goes to pour some tea so as to help you rinse your mouth, "I don't feel well, now that I think about it." "You should go back to your quarters then to get some rest," the princess suggests. "I'll be fine," you assure. "No," Rhaenyra insists, "I won't have my personal bard fall over on me when she clearly needs rest. I'm ordering you to return to your quarters and do so. You're dismissed, (y/n)."

You see the serious look on Rhaenyra's face, "As you wish princess," you nod.

You go back to your room and put your lute on the table and lay on the bed. You look to the side and see the cloth you had placed out in case your monthly moon's blood was to start. You had been expecting it to start any day now, but you were still waiting.

Now that you think about it even more, it was like this last month; you had been waiting, but your moon's blood never came.

You haven't bled for nearly two months and you've been getting sick on and off for nearly that same length of time.

You sit up, your eyes widen as you consider the possibility. You instinctively place a hand to your stomach, it suddenly feeling fuller then it had been before. It was the same area Caraxes had placed his snout the day Daemon left, the day you broke away from him.

No, you shake your head in denial, this wasn't possible. You'd been drinking the moon tea the servants brought every other night or so during your little dalliance.

Well, maybe you weren't always diligent as you may have had a few cups of wine before those times and may have forgotten as a result....

Either that, or Daemon's seed is just as stubborn as he is.

You go to your wardrobe, where you find the sack of gold coins you keep hidden, and pull out a few. You were going to need to find a maester or a physician to confirm what you were suspecting...and you were going to need them to be discrete. Hence the reason why you take out a few more extra gold coins. 

-----------end of flashback-------------------------------------

The following morning, you stir a bit and stretch, keeping your eyes closed.

You feel Geralt wrap an arm around you, pulling you into him. You could also feel something else going on between his legs. You grind against him, teasing him further when you reach back to grab him and work his already hardening length.

Geralt grunted in response, you unable to suppress a giggle. He then coaxes you to lay on your belly. He kisses your shoulder as he slowly teases your entrance. You groan out impatiently, pressing your ass against him, hoping he'll get the picture and take you.

He sneaks a hand between your legs, rubbing circles like he did last night. You were a moaning mess by the time he pulled his fingers away and slowly slid into you, ravaging you from behind.

It was slow and lazy, just the perfect way to start the day, you think to yourself.

You were about to finish, when Geralt suddenly stops. "Geralt!" you whine, but he shushes you.

A few moments later, a knock was heard at the door.

"Oi, Geralt," you hear Lambert's voice, "some fucking nonce with a lute just arrived at the keep, he says he knows you. (y/n) too."

You groan a little, knowing who it was, "of course," you mutter, "leave it to my brother to spoil some morning fun."

Geralt kissed your shoulder again, "can you keep him occupied for a little while longer?" the man asks.

"We've been keeping him busy for the last hour or so," Lambert exasperates, "he's starting to get even on Eskel's nerves right now. Don't expect any of us to keep at it just the two of you can spend the morning getting your fucking leg over!"

You feel your face blush from that statement. You groan, hiding your face in the pillow. "Well be there shortly," Geralt says, getting up from the bed.

You weren't done yet, though. You sit up, sticking your hand between your legs. "What are you doing?" Geralt asks, chuckling a bit as he gets his trousers on. "I'm not about to let my idiot of a brother with poor timing stop me from getting what I want," you say with determination, working yourself, "I had every intention to get off, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

----------------------------

While you and Geralt were getting ready, Jaskier had been busy figuratively chewing off the witchers' ears off with random things.

There had never been a more collective sigh of relief from the wolves when you walked in fully clothed.

You were still a little miffed that your brother had ruined your morning fun, but were still happy nonetheless to see him.

"Hey," you rush over to give Jaskier a big hug. "(y/n), it's so good to see you again," Jaskier says, looking down, "and no baby in the belly this time. I assume my niece or nephew managed to come out alright."

"Your niece is doing just fine, sweet brother." "You have a daughter, congratulations," Jaskier smiles in joy, "where is the little tyke? I'm sure she's dying to meet her Uncle Jaskier." "Well she's only a few months old, so maybe not," you admit, "But I'll go get her."

You run past Geralt, whom you noticed was hiding a little around the corner. You had some idea as to why. He and the Bard hadn't exactly spoken since that time on the mountain, when Geralt basically told your brother to fuck off.

"You know you won't be able to hide from you forever," you point out. "I'm not hiding," Geralt scoffs. "Really? Looks like hiding to me," you smirk, "come on, Geralt, I've never taken you for the cowardly type, you've been more one to face your problems head on."

"Hmm," Geralt groans a little. "Just talk to him," you insist, "I'm sure he'll be forgiving. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get Aemma up so she can meet her uncle."

You walk down to where Aemma's crib was located.

To your surprise, you see Ciri by the crib with a strange look on her face. She seemed to be staring at your daughter, but her eyes looked blank, like she was really staring off into space.

"Ciri?" You get her attention back to reality.

"Oh, uh, good morning," she says, shaking her head and getting back on her feet. "Is everything, alright, sweetie?" you ask her as you go to get Aemma from her crib. "Yeah, I'm fine," she assures, "I uh, I just...never mind. I had some trouble sleeping last night."

"Was it a bad dream?" you ask her. "I...don't know," she admits.

Ciri didn't say anything to you, but she was still thinking back to last night when she had that vision. She saw a giant, slender red dragon flying in the sky, and she was pretty sure she saw a man in armor with a dragonesque helmet astride the dragon.

The young girl didn't know what this meant, but looking at Aemma in your arms, she had a feeling the two of you were somehow involved.

Ciri placed her hand on Aemma's back, which took you by surprise, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you," she whispers to your daughter.

You frowned in confusion by this girl's small declaration but shrug it off as you and her take Aemma to the main hall of the keep.

Chapter 9

Masterlist

[ranchycowgirllover]

Alright so I made a Stella Re-Design, this post ‘ill be kinda long cuz I wanna explain things and such

My main problems with this design are 1- Details that are unneeded that lead to inconvenience in the animation department (like seriously watch scenes with her and focus on her lashes) 2- This outfit isn’t very regal, I’m guessing the bottom of the dress is supposed to resemble feathers idk it just doesn’t look good.

Alright so we have that out of the way, I have made a few different possible re designs. You’ll see the one I prefer at the end.

This one I tried to keep more in line with the original pink princess theme. Simplified the dress and hair (I imagine that her hair can fluff up when she’s angry) and I replaced the dark purple with a maroon. I also made her hair white. This way the only purple is her make up which should cause you to look at her face more.

This one is a more evil Queen inspired Stella, used the purple as a main dress color, I gave her green/blue eyes and grey hair which she had in the pilot. The eyes are help tell her apart from her husband, and the hair change is to make her look older and more regal. I changed the style of dress now she looks less little girl costume princess. (No hate to princess peach)

This is a younger Stella design that I did. My canon is that she was dressed this way as to appeal more to Stolas.

Now this is the final design that I chose. The purple is for royalty, I did away with the dark purple as to make her look less threatening. And the dress is rococo era inspired just because I those dresses no real reason

I also did a design for her brother.

His changes were simplify his outfit, and the other stuff like his hair were changed to match his redesigned sister

Alright so that’s all the art. The rest of the this is just going to be me ranting and raving about her character.

Okay so I think we should acknowledge how fucked Stella’s situation is. She’s in an arranged marriage and her only purpose in hells society was to give birth to an heir.

Stolas and her brother are shown to have magic powers, and Stolas we know he has princely duty’s so we can assume the same for her brother. Stella doesn’t have any of these she was meant to be a baby a maker. Even her name Stella compliments Stolas’s role as star prince or whatever.

Now in the first episode of season 2 we have Stella making fun of her husband how he’s bad in bed and how she’s glad she doesn’t have to fuck him because she’s given birth. I think this is Viv’s attempt at making this situation seem less fucked up.

I don’t even know it just makes me really uncomfortable that this very feminine woman in a shitty situation is being vilified. Like if I was in Stella’s situation I’d probably have anger issues too. I’m just so tired of being told that feminine outrage and displays of anger make us monstrous bitches.

Now obviously Stolas being forced into a loveless marriage also sucks and is an awful situation for him too. But he’s not that much better than Stella. Both are shown to be physically abusive to the castle staff, and Stella for all her faults isn’t black mailing someone into sex.

Now having two shitty people wouldn’t bother me if the narrative didn’t bend over backwards to make Stolas seem like such good guy, just an uwu gay bean. His wife is SO mean she won’t let the gay people be happy 🥺. Also painting abusers as cartoonishly evil monsters does a disservice to people who have been abused is all I’m saying.

Anyways I’ll hopefully have a Stolas Redesign up next

Bye now

[28dayslater]

good evening to you all and welcome to cockmojo where tonight we will be counting down my personal top ten terror cocks

those unaffiliated with footyblr may be unfamiliar with the term cock as it’s being used here: all will become clear in time

special mention before we start to the netsilik hunter (sexy man, deserved a name and some screentime) james clark ross but only in the first episode when he’s all rugged and his beard’s grown out, and mr blanky, who, much like knife dad, fuccs like a broken train but he runs on time if you know what i mean

in a very respectable tenth place finish, billy gibson. i didn’t see the vision until 1. it was pointed out to me that he looks a lot like pau torres, who is himself very cockable, and 2. i rewatched the scene where he breaks up with hickey. known shagger, massive hater, a very pointy nose, he’s scraped a place on this list.

a surprise entry at ninth is john irving. inarguably cute in a sort of late 2000s british indie band bassist way, and while i’m not sure i could fix him (he probably needs a man for that) i do think i would have fun trying. ultimately he’s not higher because he’s kind of annoying and his eyebrows piss me off.

representing the dilves at eighth is doctor macdonald. he’s entrancing to me he has this vibe of like gentle paternal indulgence... like even if you were annoying he’d be very fond of you. and i need that. when he said “i’d like to run that man through” and rubbed his eyes and looked so tired, i really felt something. the crow’s feet, the widow’s peak, the hair, yes!!

doing it for the feminists, in seventh we have harry goodsir. the loveliest guy on the expedition until he goes nastymode, and i’m fully on board with both versions. this picture was chosen for a reason and it’s bc his long curly hair full beard miserable expression era was simply unbeatable. unfortunately, and this is maybe the most insane thing i’ve ever said about a man, or at least top ten, when his half eaten corpse was laid out face down, and it had noticeable back hair, i got the ick. just to add insult to injury :/

i’m as surprised as you are that he’s not higher, number six, james fitzjames! he is my pretty pretty princess. nails, hair, hips, heels. high femme queen in his cunty little outfits ordering the men around. i want to brush his hair, one hundred strokes minimum. i think this is less sexual than some others on this list, it’s more appreciation. but my god do i appreciate him.

stay alive, number five, it’s thomas jopson. most beautiful haunted doll in the arctic, but that pretty face is covering up a seriously compelling #WeirdGuy underneath. all the shiny hair in the world can’t hide an obsession with his boss that in the modern era would be getting him a very serious meeting with HR. what a character, servicetopson you rock my world. but at the end of the day he loses points because i hate the beard. garrigan looks great with a beard in other stuff, i really don’t know why the scurvybeard was so foul. terror hair and makeup department GET IT TOGETHER. 

number phwoar, henry collins is here! he’s big he’s sweet he’s deeply mentally unstable he needs a cuddle and we’ve all seen that gif of him in aliens. would love to make him a really nice cup of tea (seems like a two sugars man), pet his hair as he rests his head in my lap, then fuck up my hip flexors. 

and now... we enter our top three. who’s made it to the prestigious cock podium?

first up, the winner of our bronze cock medal, which presumably he’ll be flogging for an unreasonable price to someone he’s assured it’s solid gold, “cornelius hickey”! people will bitch and moan about how he’s a violent lunatic who’s killed people like i’m not a cuti romero stan 🙄 i can see beyond that, my third eye is firmly open. the potential for a fun toxic relationship is absolutely off the charts bc that’s the only kind he has. and he’s very pretty when he cries. i can forgive a lot of crimes for a man whose nose entrances me.

in second place, such a close runner up, i have to award this honour to edward little. a pedestrian choice, you might think, if you don’t know the lore. i couldn’t fully explain my feelings towards this secondary character who’s not especially exciting on first watch when i started the show until i googled his actor... although i lacked the words to express this at the time i was cocking this man when i was 13 and he first appeared in misfits with a stupid neck tattoo and a horrible suit, and i cock him again now. this is a cock that’s followed me all my life, even though i forgot he existed for about a decade in between. who else can truly say they’ve EARNED a spot on my list like he has? he’s sad, he’s sopping wet, i could make him cry extremely easily. mwah

and finally...

number one. it had to be him, it was always going to be him. solomon tozer, take a bow and i’ll take ten cranberry pills. sol is thee top cock for so many reasons and chief among them is versatility. whatever you need he can be it. handsome soldier boy in a fancy red uniform that shows off his trim little waist? COCK! hostile violent mutineer throwing his life away in a rebellion? COCK! broken man inducted into a cult who cries about it? COCK!!! sexiest man in the damn arctic i know he was beating the boys off with a stick. there is a certain level of sexiness a man can reach where nothing he does is an ick, and i knew he’d reached that for me once i saw him in that insanely stupid hat at sir john’s funeral and didn’t give a fuck. call him tom jones the way he can leave his hat on. keep thotting it up in heaven/hell king i miss you every day. i know it was huge. my heart hurts.

[zonaenthusiast]

One Piece Live Action

EPISODE 1: ROMANCE DAWN - review

Here is the first of my reviews on what I liked and didn't like about the first episode of the live action. I have been writing as I watched the episode for the second time, so it is written in chronological order with references to future episodes.

To begin with, I was very happy with Roger's execution scene. I have to admit that, as soon as Garp appeared giving the previous speech, I doubted if it was like that in the manga. I had to look it up and I'm still hesitating, but I couldn't find anything about Garp being present that day. It's a pretty cool addition, it makes a lot of sense: Roger originated the great age of piracy while Garp is a very proud marine who works every day to erradicate it, his face when Roger says his last words is magnificent. And for those who watch the live action without knowing the original story it means nothing, but for those of us who do know what Garp and Roger really are to each other it was great.

From the beginning you start to notice that the characters are slightly different (I think the Luffy in the manga wouldn't know what mutiny means) but Oda was right when he said that there are things that maybe his Luffy wouldn't say, but it looks good because the words are spoken by Iñaki. Luffy for me is the one who behaves the most different from his original version and I'm not sure he convinces me all the time, but I think our Luffy would be very difficult to translate to the screen by a real actor without being unbearable. Luffy's case is more obvious but it will happen with Nami and Sanji as well, their personalities are very intense and for a live action it was necessary to tone them down.

Alvida is wonderful from the first minute, the actress is a 10/10 in all her scenes (Ilia, please call me, I am free on weekends), confident and menacing and sometimes ridiculous. Perfect. Koby more of the same, Morgan Davies has done a great job playing the scared Koby from the beginning. I loved the first scene of Luffy and Koby together.

What I didn't like so much is the battle against Alvida, the action is one of the weakest points of the series and they have been smart to reduce it just to the necessary because most of them are just barely good enough.

However, one of my favorite things about the live action is how they've connected the characters from the different arcs, especially the villains, it gives it a greater scale that in the manga we didn't see until much later. In the Marineford saga especially, we started to see that many characters know each other because of x or y, because they have a common past, because they did business together, whatever. I thought it was smart to add something like that already. In this chapter, for example, we have Morgan mentioning that he was the one who arrested Kuro.

I say this because adding the fun fact that Zoro killed the previous Mr 7, something that in the manga is only mentioned in passing a whole saga later and has no importance and using it to justify his presence in Shells Town, is brilliant to me. The my favorite is number 1 thing? Foreshadowing at its best if we have a second season.

I'm also of the opinion that while Luffy has the worst action scenes because in the end seeing the fruit is weird at times, Zoro has the best ones. Fellow Zoro stans, I don't know if you feel the same way I do but they are a delight to watch for me. Mackenyu, you are glorious.

Shanks... I liked him but my god, the hair. What is that, is that a wig? is that his hair with a bad dye? I don't know but it looks terrible, the whole wig thing in live action is a complaint I have. The series has opted for an artificial look on purpose and you can tell, similar to the series A Series of Unfortunate Events (and it was a good idea because the gyojins probably would not have worked otherwise), but the hair department doesn't convince me. Also, Makino seemed a bit weird to me, if she hadn't been characterized at the beginning I wouldn't have thought it was her, but then she has a scene with Luffy (small Luffy, you did great too!) in which I did appreciate her personality better.

Another thing about this live action… is that it's not subtle at all, Oda is a master of show don't tell and the difference starts to show soon. Luffy doesn't go around asking people what their dreams are in the manga (he does it only in very few occasions) and I think they could have worked on the script a little more to see how Luffy, without asking directly, inspires people to tell him those things.

We move on to the bar, the moment when Luffy, Zoro and Nami see each other for the first time (kind of, because Luffy and Nami notice Zoro but he doesn't notice them and Luffy and Nami don't seem to notice each other either). Very well done too, I loved it and it's one of my favorite scenes in the whole live action. Luffy eating with Coby, Zoro picking a fight (my god, he is FINE) and Nami taking advantage of the chaos to get what she needs. The stuff with Zoro, Rika, Helmeppo and the rice balls, even if it's different, makes me infinitely happy that it was kept because it's important to understand that Zoro is much less of a dick than he appears to be.

Luffy, tell Sanji about the rice balls, this fandom is begging you.

I also found it curious that they have chosen to insist a lot on Zoro being a bounty hunter, we see Zoro emphasizing several times throughout the live action on the money they provide him, and it's striking because it's not like that at all in the manga. It gives him less of a sucker vibe and that makes me a little sad because I really like that Zoro became a bounty hunter because he needed to eat and he didn't know how to get back to his village. I like my men dumb as a rock. I assume they did it that way because they wanted to tell us what he is but what he doesn't want to be, just like it happened with Coby and it's going to happen with all the mugiwara, so Luffy can ask him the question about what his real goal is.

Anywat, both the first time Luffy and Zoro talk and Luffy and Nami talk inside the navy base are perfect, you can see the differences in their personalities from the first moment. I will always defend that meeting Luffy changes the lives of all the mugiwaras but the most obvious changes are in Zoro and Nami (maybe Robin), they owe Luffy their literal personalities.

I think Zoro breaking into Helmeppo's room while the latter is naked and acting cool with the Wado Ichimonji is cinema, I'm glad they included it. The haircut was a great touch.

Luffy and Nami's shenanigans inside the navy base, from the safe robbery to the fight in the courtyard where they are joined by Zoro... I really like that. The part where Zoro is about to leave but decides to turn around and fight them fits his personality from the beginning very well but it's actually pretty Nami coded too, she has a scene like that in Orange Town in the manga where she almost leaves but in the end feels bad for leaving them to their fate and comes back. Zoro and Nami are very similar and this live action highlights it a lot, we'll see that (episode 5, my beloved).

The battle against Morgan is short and concise, and I repeat: I think they did very well not to drag the action out longer than necessary. The part of Zoro carrying the safe and leaving Nami speechless before such a display of brute force I personally liked it a lot, it's a clear reference to the scene of Luffy and the cage in Orange Town in the manga.

The Shells Town escape also is a great idea. I already wrote a post about why I don't agree at all that Zoro's loyalty to Luffy is immediate and Nami certainly isn't loyal from the start. That they don't say yes to Luffy, but that it's more of a we have to get out of here and right now these other two people are the only allies I have works very well with them because it's exactly how they started in the manga as well.

To finish with this first review, I want to mention a last point in favor of the live action: increasing Garp's presence in the saga and making him the big antagonist present in all the arcs, I will go deeper into this in other chapters. It's very important to see how his relationship with Koby develops (and to think that this was written before the recent events in the manga, good lord).

And Buggy has the best first appearance of all. My king.

ko-fi

[liminalpebble]

Sex and Death: Chapter 1, The Catalyst

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Synopsis: Detective Magnus Martinsson and Noura Harik (a forensic linguist) are racing to find an enigmatic serial killer before he sets his sights on one of their own, but when Harik reaches a breaking point with the temperamental Inspector Wallander, everything changes.

A/N: Magnus Martinson x OFC, slow burn to smut, murder and violence (from the killer, not our protagonists), Minors DNI

Chapter 1: The Catalyst

“THAT'S ENOUGH!” Noura screamed. Five sets of wide startled eyes fixed on her in the Ystad Station briefing room where she stood at the head of the table. Five detectives wore expression of surprise. The sixth face in the room, that of Kurt Wallander, was directly in her line of sight. He fixed her with a disgruntled glower. Unlike the others, the team leader was annoyed, but not particularly surprised that this had finally happened.

Noura Harik, the forensic linguist contracted by the Ystad Police to help hunt down a serial killer, had had enough. She had been working closely with Detective Martinsson (the tech wizard of the department) for several exhausting weeks as the unknown but loquacious psychopath tormented them with a bloody game of cat and mouse. Bodies were piling up and nerves were fraying. Noura and Magnus had just presented their findings. They had, through Noura's linguistic expertise, and Magnus' tailored statistical programs, narrowed the pool of suspects from hundreds to dozens. The two were an impressive team, and would have very much enjoyed the academic challenges of their work, if it weren't for the horrific and stressful circumstances around it. They smiled to each other in amazement and hugged, slapping each other on the back, when they realized they had been able to create a highly probable profile from a mere handful of coded and un-coded letters, notes and journals.

However, the bubble of their scholarly enthusiasm promptly burst as Noura nearly finished her presentation before the group. Mid-sentence, Wallander interrupted her by slamming his fist on the table, shouting. “NOT GOOD ENOUGH...Harik...Martinsson...a pool of dozens is not close enough.” Gesturing to the ever growing row of victim photos on the cork board, he hollered, “We need more  to go on and we need it faster or another girl like this dies! I'm sure your brain games and code-cracking are lots of fun and all, but these are human beings dammit and the clock is ticking! If you're looking for pats on the back and gold stars for being so bloody clever...if that's all you two care about...you won't get them until we have this man behind bars.”

It was the latest episode of Kurt making Magnus Martinsson and Noura Harik his punching bag for the unforgivable crime of being the youngest, kindest, and, probably, the most intelligent in the room. It had happened dozens of times in the last two weeks, and this was the final straw for Miss Harik.

Now that the usually reasonable and soft-spoken linguist had started, she found she couldn't stop her tirade any more than she could stop a boulder from hurdling downhill, picking up speed.

“Inspector Wallander, lashing out at us won't make any difference except to make it worse. I know you're stressed. We're all stressed. That doesn't give you the right to make all of us your whipping post. It's unprofessional, it's inexcusable, and, thankfully, I don't answer to you, so I'm in a position to say this while the rest of your team has to suffer with their mouths shut.”

“Ms. Harik...” Kurt began, in his disgruntled, demeaning voice.

“I am NOT finished, Inspector. You think it's weighing on you, Wallander. Look at the board, at those faces,” she said, indignant fury trembling in her voice. “Look at the 8 victims he has slaughtered in our own back yard. What do you see? Huh? Women, ages 25-40, all of Middle Eastern descent, tan skin, black hair, brown eyes.” She gestured to her own face pointedly, “You think the stakes are high for you, Inspector? You think YOU'RE the only one motivated to catch this man? When I go home, Kurt, I fear for my life, so don't you DARE take out your pain and anger on us. We're all carrying our own suffering without throwing tantrums, as you are. We're doing our best, and your childish bullshit doesn't help.”

She forcefully slid a flash drive down the table to the lead inspector. “Here's every single piece of work we've done on this case, worthless as it apparently is to you. Have at it, and see if you do any better. I'm going home...”

As she threw on her coat and bag, Wallander finally mumbled softly, “Not without a police escort, you're not.” She was genuinely surprised by his tone. Underneath his grumpy old bastard exterior, Kurt Wallander cared a great deal, maybe too much...so much that he couldn't keep a lid on his feelings when he should.

Magnus' normally large blue eyes were even bigger than usual, like an animal in headlights. He shook himself out of his stunned trance with a few blinks and said, “I'll take her,” and Wallander nodded his approval.

As Noura stormed out, the junior detective had to hustle after her. “Hey hey heyyyy,” he said catching up to her with his long strides, grabbing her lightly by the arm. He smiled that relentlessly charming grin and turned her to face him. She wanted to stay angry, thinking that it would keep her awake and working harder, but she couldn't while that handsome boyish face was looking at her so kindly. Noura released a trembling exhale. “Jesus, Magnus, I'm shaking.”

He nodded setting large warm hand on her shoulder. “That'll be adrenaline, and exhaustion, and probably hunger. You need to go home and rest. Kurt is sending me with you.”

“With me?” she repeated, baffled.

“Yes. It's not safe for you...taking the bus or walking.”

“I'm not a child, Magnus!”

“No, but you are in the vulnerable demographic of a serial killer who may also know that you're the one who's on to him. I'm staying with you,” he said with a commanding finality.

She nodded, conceding to the sense of the arrangement. “Thank you,” she said with sincerity.

He smiled and nodded his curly blond head. “And don't worry if your place is a mess. I'm a single guy and a police officer. You should see the disaster I live in. It'll make you feel better.” He kept joking as he put a protective arm around her, walking her to his car through the gust of snow, saying, “I might even decide to move in...write my flat off as a lost cause, you know? Say, does your building have a laundry? Mine doesn't. I need to know the amenities of my new home. Is there a room service option?”

She chuckled at that and he felt utter joy to finally hear the sound, and to be the cause of it.

Taglist: @peacefulpianist @peaches1958 @icytrickster17 @sired-to-hybrid @mjsthrillernp @acidcasualties @loz-3 @annoyingsweetsstranger @alexakeyloveloki @marcotheflychair @muddyorbs @smolvenger @sweetsigyn @goblingirlsarah @lovelysizzlingbluebird

[all-for-geek]

The Company Party

Fandom: Alex Bale/Don't Feed the Muse

Summary: Jared is a private guy. He spends his days alone working for the IT Department, and he's fine with that. He wouldn't enjoy going to some company party. No way.

Word Count: 1,435

This piece of Jared fluff was requested by @sam-harz. I hope you enjoy!

In the dank recesses of Happy Meat Farms HQ, there was a room darker and dingier than the rest. It was a room that few ventured near, but the inhabitant of the room didn’t mind too much. He was never very good with people anyway. He was content with spending his days there staring at the computers, helping Mother in any way he could.

He loved the work he did in IT, genuinely. Every new person or problem was a fun little puzzle sent his way. The hard ones were always the best. Victoria was probably his favorite. He had to search deep in her files to find the hair incident. He had never felt more pride than when he sent that information up to HR.

Something wet and soft nudged against Jared’s hand. One of the mutant dogs had taken a liking to him and lived with him in his room. He had named it Bobbo. Bobbo stared at him, begging for affection that Jared was more than happy to give. He scratched the bottom of Bobbo’s chin slowly and carefully so that his metal hand did not break skin. It wouldn’t faze the mutant mutt, but Jared always felt bad.

A loud thud outside of Jared’s door made him jump in his seat. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought someone knocked on his door. But no one knocks on his door. Someone must have dropped something outside again. He returned to petting Bobbo, but when the thud occurred two more times, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Jared opened his door enough so that his center eye could be seen. It was the new guy, Wesley. He vaguely remembered getting his file when he was first given his Muse, but Jared never got anything after that. He must have been very eager to join the family. Or very desperate. Or both.

“Hello?” Jared’s voice was scratchy from lack of use.

“Hey, man,” Wesley replied with the usual chipper attitude of the others. Jared had never been very good at putting that mask on, but he didn’t need to with his role. “We were throwing a company party, and I figured I would let you know.”

“A party?”

“Yeah, I think it’s something that human businesses do to celebrate milestones or holidays.” Jared rolled his two eyes that were out of view. He knew what a company party was. He could remember a few from before he joined the family. That wasn’t the part he was confused about.

Wesley handed him a flier through the crack in the door. “It’s going to be tomorrow at 8 in the evening. See you then?”

“If I finish my tasks, then maybe,” Jared answered before promptly closing the door.

He looked down at the poster. It was very well made. Someone from the art department must have put it together. Jared tossed it to the side. Wesley was new, so he probably didn’t know how things worked yet. No one talked to Jared, so Jared didn’t talk to anyone. And Jared was fine with that.

Bobbo caulked his head in confusion. Jared shrugged before continuing with his work.

The next day, Jared was where he always was. In his room, working in the dark. It was a surprisingly light day. With the final phase being so near, there were not as many hosts that needed motivation, so it was mostly tidying up the files that he was sent. 

Jared pushed his swivel chair through the walls of servers to the TV he had set up in the back. He had been a good boy, so he deserved a treat. He pulled out his Spongebob box set, and searched for the right episode. He settled on “Ghost Host”. The Flying Dutchman had always been a favorite character of his.

Just as the theme song got into full swing, Bobbo started barking. Jared shifted his left eye so that he could see the dog at the door staring at him.

“Do you need to go out, boy?” he asked. He slowly got up from his chair, feeling the pops and cracks from a long day of work. He opened the door, but Bobbo didn’t go bounding down the hall like he normally did. Instead, he stayed on the threshold, staring at Jared.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Do you want me to go with you?”

Bobbo immediately bounded the hallway. Luckily, the dog would stop and wait for Jared before turning a corner. Otherwise, Jared would have lost him before he got out of his room. 

As Bobbo continued to twist and turn through the halls, Jared recognized his surroundings less and less. This was definitely not the normal way that Bobbo went to go outside, but Jared quickly shrugged it off. Perhaps, Bobbo just wanted to go for a walk. As long as one of them knew how to get back. Jared would never in a million years have guessed what was on the other side of the door Bobbo just ran through.

As Jared burst through as well, every head turned towards him. Most of his family, many of whom had gone through digestion, but some who had not yet, were clustered in various groups of three or four. Some were sitting at the tables that had neatly been set out. Others were in the middle grabbing more food from the long table off to the side covered in a variety of meats.

It was a party. The party that Jared had had no intention of going to. The one that he had just bursted into like he had. Everyone was staring at him. Was it normal for people to stare at the new arrival to a party? It doesn’t seem like it should go on this long. Either way, he was stuck here now. If he ran, Mother, how he wanted to run, that would be worse. Maybe if he stood there long enough, they would stop staring. Maybe-

“Jared! Hey, man.” Wesley walked over and ushered Jared into the room. Thankfully, everyone else turned back to their own conversation. 

Wesley led Jared over to a table where Mark, Antonio, and Carl were sitting. He remembered those three well. Or, there human forms at least. They had all been a handful before they joined the family. 

“Hey, Jared,” Antonio greeted, “Oh hey, great job with the information for the Drawing Room. It really stopped Mark from being difficult. At least for a little bit.” He turned over to Mark. “No offense.”

Mark shrugged. “None taken.”

“Uh…thanks.” Jared remained standing, looming over the four. The chairs were designed for humans, so he had to. He missed his special chair.

“It’s great to see you out and about, Jared,” Carl said, “It’ll do you some good to get away from those screens from time to time.”

Jared stared, confused. “You all… want to see me?”

They stared at him. Why do people always stare at him?

“Of course, we do,” Mark chuckled, “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Because I came out incomplete. I am not fully Jared the human the host, but I am not Jared the muse either. I figured that’s why no one ever talked to me.”

The look they all gave him sent shivers up his spine. Why did they all have to look at him with such big, pitiful faces? It was fine. He didn’t mind the isolation. He liked being alone…right?

“Oh shoot, Jared we’re sorry,” Wesley said.

“We always thought that you were just a private guy,” Carl added, Do you…want us to come visit more often?”

Jared was surprised with how quickly he answered. “That would be acceptable.”

On that note, the five continued to make small-chat and enjoy themselves. Jared would tell stories about particularly tricky hosts while the others discussed their own troubles with their hosts. By the end of the party, Jared was sitting down on the floor with Bobbo curled up in his lap. He found himself stretching out his farewell to his family, his friends, for as long as he could. When he got back to his room, he smiled genuinely for the first time in a long while.

In the dank recesses of Happy Meat Farms HQ, there was a room darker and dingier than the rest. It was a room few ventured to often, but those who did could always count on good company and a fun story. The inhabitant of the room didn’t mind the intrusion much. He was happy to spend his days here, helping his family in any way he could.

[cupids-cringe]

IT IS A LOVELY WONDERFUL EARLY FEBRUARY NIGHT AND YOUR LOCAL VIRTUAL VIRUS HAS RETURNED WITH PART 3 OF MY SILLY HEADCANON IDEAS FOR SOME OF THE MULTIVERSE TRAVELLERS FAVORITE SIDE CHARACTER S skrunklys- is it is it too late to call a character a skrunkly?-

working on Worldstop & Polite Benry posed a BIT of difficulty because they're SO similar!- BUT i'm quite happy with how they turned out

AS ALWAYS, NOTES BELOW!

Dr Sleepless!

• went a bit heavier on the makeup

• ze has a heck ton of glitter in their hair and a slight purple tint at the ends simply because i think it would be fun and becuase originally it started as him using glitter in his Late Late Late Late Late Show and then ze started doing it intentionally

• changed his coat! the stars and glitter are now on the inner part but its fine since ze spends so much time posing dramatically that it can always be seem flowing like a cape

• this isn't visual but since i'm talking about them i'm adding this: Sleepless' coat has cartoony physics pockets. ze can pull ANYTHING out of them. no matter how big or how much,,, he can pull 2000 rubber ducks out of completely flat looking pockets if ze wanted to.

Darnold!

• gave him a bag for all his potions, it stores both complete potions and the items he may need to craft new ones on the spot

• slightly changed his visor but kept it mostly, removed the coded binary from Kittles hacks during the events of the Worldstop AU

• slightly upgraded rocket boots

• FLAME TROUSERS!! i wasn't sure if i should add [potion] bubbles or flames, flames felt a bit that they were stepping on Bubbys flame motifs buuuut with the rocket boots i quite like it-

• return of the lightning shaped grey hair streaks

Mailman! + Bot(rey)

• added a couple heart and pin stickers which were DEFINITELY slapped there by LB- along with the writing on his bag which is 100% glitter gel pen.

• HAIR TUFTS! i just can't help myself, Mailman has some of the fluffiest (but kinda greasy) hair of all

• slightly simplified his Bot forms vest design & nametag, & included the slot where he can print his own little notes (canon)

• both of them have a friendship necklace that Loverboy made with craft beads so that they can match (i like to think that he absolutely BUGGED Spork to make Benrys virtual model a necklace like the one he'd made for the tiny Bot) (ALSO Gordon B would probably maybe make him another when hes uninfected?-)

• minor change to his heart badge on his vest

Da Boss!

• didn't do much, his designs brilliant (i LOVE the Admins matching tron outfits so much!!) all i really did was add a bit of a cape to it to match with the other Admins long coats + bit more blue in places

• subtle earrings & some changes to his boots

• NOT PICTURED BUT HE & FREEMAN HAVE MATCHING PLASTIC RINGS THAT THEY GOT FROM AN ARCADE

+ return of his Episode 1 visor cos i think hes the Benry most comfortable with showing his hair/not having his helmet (in my opinion it goes Boss, Polite, Worldstop & then Y2KVR- i will elaborate my reasons if you want)

Polite Benry!

• the MOST. NORMAL. Person you will ever know!

• his badge says "RESTRICTED RESEARCH" after the department that the Mad Science Team work in and it was handmade by their Tommy, its sort of his new security badge and he will flash it to people when hes guarding the science team

• his helmet has been through hell - it has a green sludge splash that stained and will never come out, it has a patch of metal becuase it had to be fixed after a LASER cut through it (Polite Benry was completely unharmed, it was a cartoony moment where he dodged the laser and his helmet fell off but stayed in place midair and started spinning as the laser cut into it), its got some scratches and a patch where it got struck by Bubbys electrokinisis on accident but its still a very important item to him :]

• I STOLE THIS IDEA FROM MERKLINS BUT THE COLLAR BEING POPPED UP TO MATCH THE OTHERS!! I HAD TO ITS JUST SO!! !!!!!!!!!!

• just such a normal fella

• bit of hair always visible out the helmet, occasionally he tries to tuck it back but it falls back over his eye again

Worldstop Benry!

• now. i really tried- i tried to make him look a bit more boxey than the rest because he is a Gmod NPC from the 2000s hes a bit more blocky hes a bit squared

• MISSING TEXTURE HAIR. BECAUSE I CAN. i said in a post before i didn't want to go too overboard with the missing texture motif since its part of Kittle (& Trips) designs but i wanted to do a bit more than just his helmet inside having the texture- hes a glitched NPC, he has access to a lot of the Gmod assets, hes in place of the Nihilanth & his original model probably wasn't even a Barney so hes ALLOWED to have a couple hidden fucked up textures-

• his uniform is also just slightly more purple just slightly (mainly because i wanted him and Polite Benry to not look identical (they both went through several changes & redraws since i started drawing these becuase they did at one point look like the exact same just minus 1 helmet & minus 1 vest))

• the blue in his eyes is (i'm pretty sure unless i changed it slightly) directly ripped from the Gmod logo

• helmets a bit damaged and dented

• ALSO ALSO BEFORE I FORGET i made his hair just slightly longer to kind of resemble Forzens? just slightly

[aryanightshade]

This Episode of Stranger Things is Called: Playdate

-

{two new messages}

“Hi, I’m calling for a… Eddie Manson? No, Munson. Sorry. Jerry writes like a chicken. Uh, my name is Alice, I work for the parks department. You called about the job posting we had up on the community board on Main Street, and I was wondering if you wanted to come in for an interview later today? We need someone in the position ASAP, so please give me a call back when you get the chance. Thanks!”

-

Eddie wakes up on the couch with the headache of someone mildly hungover. Which is irritating because he didn’t get drunk or high last night. Aside from almost burning down their apartment, he didn’t do anything fun at all, actually. His life has become spectacularly un-fun recently, what with—

Right. Embarrassing himself in front of their neighbor. The one who looks like a swimsuit model. 

Steve. 

Steve with the luscious flowing hair and pretty smile and tan skin that Eddie wants to lick all over. 

That Steve. The Steve who smiled at him and lit Eddie up from the inside like he swallowed a ball of sunlight. 

In the light of day, it’s actually worse than Eddie thought. He slipped while running down a flight of stairs and knocked over a trashcan like a total klutzy idiot. How can he show his face after making such a fool of himself? Steve is going to take one look at him standing on his porch doing his friendly Mr. Rogers thing in one of those tight, preppy polo shirts, and Eddie is going to combust into ashes on the spot, leaving his only child homeless and orphaned. 

The obvious solution here is to become a hermit. Eddie will simply never leave the safety of their house ever again, and therefore drastically decrease his chances of making a complete and utter buffoon out of himself in front of another man.  

Eddie presses a couch cushion over his face and groans. God, he’s pathetic. He sees an attractive man and immediately all his brain cells liquify and trickle out his ears. It’s probably for the best, anyway, him being so weird. Small town Indiana isn’t the best place to be picking up dudes. There’s no anonymity here, and besides, Hot Neighbor Steve has at least one child, which means he likes women enough to procreate with one. He probably wouldn’t respond well to Eddie salivating over him. He probably has a wife. Eddie hasn’t seen her yet, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist. She’s probably really pretty and knows how to make Hamburger Helper without burning down the neighborhood, too. 

Realistically, Steve will probably just ignore him. Eddie is self-aware enough to know that he’s off-putting to a lot of people, but a little part of him isn’t sure he wants to be ignored. He’s no stranger to chasing highs, and the one that filled him when those warm hazel eyes pinned him down like a butterfly in amber feels worth sucking into his lungs until he suffocates. Which is stupid. Eddie is gay, but he’s not a moron, and people like his neighbor don’t generally say yeswhen he offers to suck them off between some dumpsters behind a pizza restaurant. 

Not that he would. He would take Hot Neighbor Steve to dinner first. Because he’s a gentleman. But he won’t do that. If he sees Steve Harrington around, he won’t do anything at all, he decides. He’ll be real regular about it and hope Steve doesn’t remember Eddie tripping over his own feet like a moron. 

Eddie’s theatrically self-indulgent misery lasts another ten minutes or so before he screams quietly into the pillow and tosses it aside with a dramatic sigh. It’s fine. This will be fine. This is only temporary, after all. 

He’s trying to be optimistic, so of course, it’s inevitable, like heat death and rich people flouting traffic laws, that Eddie will run into Steve Harrington again. 

Read on Ao3

[slayernina]

Some notes:

It was short, but intense.

Kudos to the make up department. The actor really looks dead.

You know you left an impression if after 3 minutes of screentime (half of them dead) you get a contract as a secondary character and antagonist for 4 seasons more. Congrats, Bryce. You are such an underrated actor.

Some notes:

Probably it would have been used for laughs because of how thematically the character was, but Bryce Hodgson should have appeared shirtless at least once.

I really dig into Don E's wardrobe. Is so wacky and fun to watch at the same time.

He looks so different with hair/without hair. You can pinpoint the exact scene in which he turns into zombie.

Nice raccord, by the way. The yellow T-shirt outfit in one episode is reused in another later (in which Speedy shows Mr. Boss those two from "days ago".

Also it's weird to watch a young male going bald onscreen. We know how Hollywood is (looking at you, Nicolas Cage's wigs of awesomeness).

Such a pity we never had a Blaine's piano and Don E's banjo duet in the show.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iZombie fashion masterpost here

My other metas here

La maldición de las cuatro brujas here

Una novela romántica de esas con un macizorro sin camiseta en la portada here

Un romanzo rosa di quelli con un fusto a petto nudo in copertina here

Buy me a ko-fi!

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 172

LARP and the Real Girl/Closing Time

“LARP and the Real Girl”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean investigate the mysterious deaths of two LARPers who were engaged in a game involving a real fairy

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I mean…if the fae get you, the fae get you…

I did cut out the part in the description where they said what LARP stood for, just full disclosure

Honestly, they DESERVE to go see a movie or hit up a bar. Just one night off

Omg I love that Dean really has accepted Garth as the new Bobby

God…I’d love that LotR poster.

Fuck you, small town cop. Look. I don’t know what this guy’s whole deal was, but as long as he treated women right and wasn’t a gatekeeping asshole, “toys” on display at your residence (read: replicas of weapons from fantasy series and probably figurines of some sort. (Remind me to make a post about how much I’ve spent on the anime figures at my work desk…and the look on my work bestie’s face when she saw the amount)) are not a sign that you can’t be in a relationship or get laid.

“These kids today with their texting and murder…” I wanna kiss whoever wrote that line of dialogue on the mouth.

Felicia Day’s hair is so pretty

The dramatic thunder is…well, it’s something

Sometimes I get so sad about how much Dean has missed out on due to John. THIS is one of those times. He’s so excited to help Charlie with her battle strategy!! And he never got to foster that because he had to grow up WAY too fast and ALWAYS had to keep the tough guy persona. He’s such a little nerd at heart

Dean and Charlie should have gotten wayyyyyy more time together

You know, for being known as the nerdier of the two brothers, Sam is having zero fun with this and really just wants to get the job done. Dean’s in costume and following Charlie around as she flirts with every woman she encounters in their investigation

Noooooo don’t abduct Charlieeeeeeee

Oh. Looks like Charlie is no longer disappointed in her kidnapping

I love the boys getting sidelined in favor of the rules of this LARPing community

Of COURSE it’s that dude

Did he really think that the sword, once it turned back into foam, was going to stop Dean??

Omg is he……….HE’S GIVING THE SPEECH FROM BRAVEHEART. Deeeeeeeean

“Closing Time”

Plot Description: The Doctor, in his final days of life, encounters a mystery as he visits an old friend

Don’t love that we’re back with James Corden

What is happening with the…no that’s not how you ask about lighting in this show. Hey, who turned out the lights?

The cybermen? Maybe

Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All is quite the name for a baby to give themself

This Farewell Tour he’s on doesn’t hit as hard as Ten’s because he’s really been with just Amy and Rory and River most of the time, with the exception of Craig (who he’s visiting now), also I know he has at least two more seasons

Hmmmmmmmm a motorized toy…the cybermen are hijacking TOYS??

Omg…I don’t like how often Moffat-run shows have the joke “oh these two men seen together and/or show any sort of affection toward each other MUST be gay.”

He just went straight for the lingerie department?? Come on…

Oh they didn’t hijack shit, they just put a weird robotic rat thing in a department store

I forgot we jumped ahead some time….we still get a little bit of Amy and Rory, but Amy’s already a perfume model

The cybermen gave the cybermat TEETH??? WHY???

These….oh, yeah. Those are things to cry about later. For sure

Oh…that baby’s ceiling is the ideal. Like, real project galaxies

Aw man, James Corden only ALMOST got mauled by the lil rat thingy

Ugh, the Doctor is doing the whole “I shouldn’t have anyone around me” thing again

Did they actually kill Craig???? What is happening???? Ahhh, rats. Like, of course they didn’t but STILL

So the cybermen just exploded? Because Craig felt emotion again??

This episode is just eh. Except for the Doctor’s coat. The coat’s good

Why DOES linear time affect him now??

Oh that’s where he got the hat River’s about to shoot off

[awkwardtickleetoo]

Birthday Raspberries: The Origin Story

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM!!!!

its dreams birthday, which is awesome, but that also means that my blog birthday is coming up, which is just way cooler, sorry dream (/j)

anyway!! this is the 3rd and unfortunately final installment of the birthday raspberries fic trilogy!! this one is a prequel to the other 2, so in chronological order is goes dream -> george -> sapnap :))

it's always so so so fun writing these fics, they're adorable, the dteam is adorable, birthday tickles are adorable, I love them. they're some of my favorite pics I've posted on here i think

little disclaimer before we start: this is a prequel, but it is still referenced to be dream 23rd birthday. does it make sense? no. but we can live with it

lee!dream, ler!sapnap, 3.1k words

enjoy!!

--

There was a certain tradition that Sapnap wanted to bring back. It was something that his family had instilled in him in his very early childhood but stopped as he got older, something that he remembered randomly one day in high school and renewed with his friends through those years, leading up to when they all went to college.

Unfortunately for Sapnap, a majority of his friend group split apart to move away for school or with their families, and most of his other friends were online, so this tradition that solely required being physically with a person was lost to him again.

Fortunately for Sapnap, he now lived in the same house as his best friend, frequently visited his other friends, and another one was coming to live with them soon. This was the perfect time to bring this tradition back again, he decided. Third time's the charm, right?

When Dream found out what the tradition was, he didn't exactly feel the same way.

It was nearing midnight, and the end of Dream's birthday, and Dream's family had already left a few hours ago after they came over for dinner and cake. Sapnap had offered to help make dinner, since Dream's family were bringing the cake, and between himself being helpful and Dream's mom being the cooking master, everything had turned out pretty good, and they had plenty of leftovers to last them the rest of the week.

Dream and Sapnap were laying on the couch in their living room, the newer one they had just bought a month or so before to better fit their living space. Dream sat partially slumped over, his arm draped along the back of the couch as he rested his head on it, legs crossed at the ankles as they laid out in front of him off the chaise of the couch. Sapnap laid perpendicular to him, lounging across the length of the couch with his head on Dream's thigh. They decided to watch a few episodes of an anime they were in the middle of before calling it a night, both of them still buzzing with too much happy energy to go to sleep yet. Finally, about halfway through the last episode of the season, Dream let out a yawn, covering his mouth and scrunching his nose up as he did.

"Tired?" Sapnap asked, tilting his head up at his friend. Dream nodded through the end of his yawn.

"Yeah, finally," Dream chuckled, rubbing his eye with his knuckle and sighing out the breath he'd spoken through. "I'll probably head up after this episode finishes."

"Mm…" Sapnap hummed in acknowledgment, looking back at the TV screen.

About 15 minutes later, the season credits were on screen, and Sapnap reached for the remote to exit out of the show. They spoke for a couple minutes about the ending, speaking in sleep-deprived tones as they giggled quietly. Sapnap spoke up again before they departed.

"Can I tell you a story I remembered earlier before we go to bed really quick?"

"Of course, I'm all ears," Dream replied, pushing his hood that had been covering his head off and running a hand through his hair.

"Okay, so like, I remembered this thing during dinner because it has to do with birthdays but I didn't get a chance to tell you bc it wasn't important," Sapnap looked up at Dream as he spoke, somehow still sounding energetic even with how tired Dream knew they both were. "So, when I was a little kid, like really little, my mom had this… I guess it was kind of a tradition? Where every year, on my birthday, she would come into my room in the morning and bring me breakfast in bed, and she'd, like…" Sapnap cut himself off with a small chuckle, breaking off into his own giggles as his face became a little pink and he looked away from Dream for a second before looking back. Dream had a confused look on his face, tilting his head like a puppy as he waited for Sapnap to keep going. "Okay, don't laugh, but she would, like, wake me up by tickling me and then she'd give me a bunch of raspberries, however many years old I was that day," Sapnap admitted through his giggles, and Dream smiled at his confession, giggling a bit to himself at the idea of a kid-Sapnap getting lost in laughter from a few little raspberries. "And, dude, when I was a kid, I fucking loved that shit, I thought it was the most fun thing in the world and then I'd eat my little bowl of cereal and bacon and toast that she brought me and she'd sit with me and I'd break her off pieces of the toast to eat and I thought I was the best kid in the world, it was fucking awesome."

"That's adorable," Dream responded, and Sapnap continued again.

"So then, when I got older, she kind of stopped, because once you get older and into, like, middle school or past age 10 that stuff tends to stop, which is fine, but I forgot about it for a while until one day in high school it was my friends birthday and I just randomly remembered it, so I was like 'fuck it', y'know? I wanted to bring it back, so when we stayed at his house that night and I made sure I was the first one there so I could tell everyone about it– and I made sure everyone was comfortable, I didn't go overboard or anything, but we were all pretty physically affectionate people so no one really minded that much, and also we all loved embarrassing each other so it just worked."

"Mhm."

"And since everyone kinda left for college after junior or senior year I only got to do it a few times, like I did it to that kid on his 17th birthday, another kid on his 18th, and this one girl in our group on her 18th, and it was always so fun and hilarious."

"That does sound pretty funny," Dream agreed, and Sapnap smiled up at him, knowing his plan was coming into action faster than he had imagined.

"It was… but anyway, that was a really long story, but it does have a point, okay?" Dream nodded. "So the point is… I think I wanna bring the tradition back." Sapnap explained almost sheepishly, looking up at Dream for reassurance.

"Sapnap, are you asking me to give you birthday raspberries when it gets to your birthday?" Dream asked with a wide smile, originally wanting to seem smug and embarrass Sapnap, but seeing the smile on his face made his tone come out as genuine and soft as it could be.

"No! Well– well, yes, but, that's not what I meant right now," Sapnap explained further, waiting for the lightbulb to flick on in Dream's mind.

It didn't. Instead, Dream looked at him as if he'd spoken a completely different language.

"I don't… I don't get what you're saying, then," Dream said, toying with the end of his hoodie string as he curled the end around his finger and pulled it to be even with the opposite string.

"Dream. I want you to let me do it to you."

Dream's eyes widened just slightly, glancing at Sapnap and then looking away, switching between the two as he let out a shocked chuckle.

"Oh…" Dream said, unhelpful, as he tried to think of anything to say in response. He fidgeted with his hoodie string again. "Um…"

"C'mon, please?" Sapnap asked, leaning up slightly on one elbow and reaching his free hand up to lace his fingers with Dream's hand. Dream let his hand be held, smiling despite himself. "I'll be nice! And– and if you let me do it now, you can help me do it to everyone else in the future too! Like– George definitely, and Karl and Quackity if we're around them on theirs. Just let me do it, come on, just, come on."

"But you said it's the same number as whatever age you're turning? That's a lot, Sapnap, you haven't had it done to you since you were 10 or some shit, there's a big difference between 10 and 23." Dream explained nervously.

"I know, but you did say earlier that it sounded fun!" Sapnap elaborated as he fully sat up, pointing a finger at Dream accusingly. Suddenly, he got a devious idea, smirking as he continued. "But I can be gentle, I get it, you're fragile."

"I'm not fragile!"

"It's okay, Dream, I understand, you're worried you won't be able to handle it."

"That is not what I said!"

"No, it's fine, you're just too ticklish for this, it's okay."

"N-no!"

"Maybe when we get George here he'll say yes and then it'll prove he's stronger than you."

"Fine!" Dream finally caved, pulling his hand away from Sapnap in favor of pulling his sleeves over his hands and curling in on himself. He sat cross-legged now, his hands folded in his lap and elbows brought in close to his body. "Fine, I'll– I'll let you do it, if you shut up about me being too 'ticklish' and 'fragile' to handle it, I could literally beat you up."

Sapnap smiled proudly, holding out his hand for a handshake.

"Deal," he said, waiting for Dream to grab his hand.

"Dea–" Dream tried to respond, but was cut off by a loud yell as Sapnap held his hand tight and yanked him forward. He was too caught off guard to catch himself, so he landed on his side, his shoulder colliding with the soft couch cushions and his knee colliding with Sapnap's arm. Before he could even process what happened, Sapnap was sitting on top of him, straddling his hips and reaching behind him to press his knees so they were flat as well. Dream tried to protest when he felt his hoodie being pushed up just slightly, the sliver of skin by his hip above the waistband of his sweatpants showing now. "NO! No, no, Sapn–AP!" Dream yelped, gasping and slamming his hands over his mouth when there was a sudden, unbearable vibrating sensation on his hip that felt like it was coming from inside his skin.

Sapnap had blown the first raspberry. And if that was just the first, Dream had no fucking clue how he was going to be able to handle the remaining 22.

He caught his breath quickly, body tense and stiff as Sapnap sat up and laughed at him.

"Shut the hell up," Dream said when he heard him laughing.

"I didn't even say anything!" Dream huffed out a breath and rolled his eyes, maneuvering his body so he was more comfortable. Sapnap let him move around, and he ended up laying fully back with his knees bent and his legs propped up against the back of the couch, his ankles against the arm. Sapnap moved over as well, sitting on the corner bumper of the couch where Dream was before in order to have full access to Dream's body.

"That wasn't nice," Dream muttered, crossing his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to seem intimidating, but his wide smile and the fact that he was still holding onto the ends of his sleeves gave him away.

"Which part, the throwing you around like a ragdoll or the part where I completely wrecked your shit?"

"Both!"

"Mhm, still think you could beat me up?"

"Yes! I definitely could!" Sapnap jumped at the opportunity, pushing Dream's hoodie up again and blowing another raspberry in the same place as before. "NO!" Dream yelled, catching him in the act this time and moving to push at his head. He still tried to hold in his laughter, biting his lip this time, until Sapnap blew a third raspberry, and then his attempts were lost. "Sapnahahahap!" Dream giggled out, grabbing at Sapnap's shoulder and shaking his head. Another raspberry was blown on his side, followed by a fifth against the bottom of his ribs. Dream took in a sharp breath as his laughter began anew, fingers gripping the fabric of Sapnap's hoodie as he pulled him away slightly. "GOHOHOD jeheheheez let– lehehet me breheathe!"

Sapnap giggled slightly as he pulled away, rubbing his palm soothingly over Dream's bunched up hoodie.

"Sorry. Guess I'm a little eager," Sapnap apologized bashfully. "You're just so cute, I can't help it."

"Shut up," Dream groaned, smiling wide at Sapnap's genuine words. "You're annoying."

"Yeah," Sapnap agreed, tone sweet, before he suddenly leaned forward and blew a raspberry right on Dream's tummy. Dream let out a strained, wheezy laugh, caught off guard once again by the sudden feeling, curling up slightly and instinctively cradling the back of Sapnap's head in his hands. Three more were blown in quick succession in a line just underneath his belly button, and he flopped back onto the couch just to arch his back away from the feeling.

"OHOH GOHOHOD, Sapnahahahap!" Sapnap pulled back to laugh along with Dream again, adjusting the way he was sitting to be a little closer to him. He pushed Dream's hoodie a bit further up, then proceeded to blow four raspberries in a diamond shape– one at his sternum, one at the front of his left side's ribs, one in the center of his tummy, and one on the right, before finishing that section with one right in the middle of the diamond. "Sahahap, plehehehease!"

"Fine! Fine, you're such a baby, you literally have, like, only 9 left," Sapnap teased, letting Dream catch his breath again. Dream's giggles kept up as he took a few deep breaths, reaching up to cover his face with his hands, before reaching further back to pull his hood up and over his head, pulling it as far as it would go to help him hide his bright red face.

"9 ihis still a lot, Sapnahap!" Dream mumbled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I can help, let's make it 8 instead," Sapnap continued his teasing, smiling as he dropped his head down to meet Dream's torso again, lips landing to the left of his belly button and making him arch his back. As he squirmed, turning as far onto his side as he could and leaving his back exposed, Sapnap decided to seize the opportunity and blow a raspberry on the back of his ribs.

The sensation hit Dream like a freight train.

"FUCK!" Dream yelled, covering his mouth with his hand and using his other arm to brace himself against the couch. His fist collided with the cushion twice before he simply resorted to gripping the fabric tightly between his fingers. His reaction was enough to make Sapnap stop on his tracks, grinning like a little kid on Christmas.

"Okay. I don't know what I just did, but I know for a fact that the rest of these raspberries need to do the exact same thing," Sapnap said, in slight disbelief at how much of a reaction that spot got out of Dream.

"NO, you don't!" Dream shook his head, moving to lay down on his back again, but Sapnap's hand pushing against his side stopped him. "No, stop! Stop, don't, just get it over with normally!"

"Absolutely not, I'm gonna do it my way," Sapnap explained as he pushed Dream harder, kneeling up on his knees before straddling the back of Dream's thighs when he pushed him fully over.

"Sapnap, noho, no, that's not fahair–" Dream tried to push himself back, but with the way his torso was twisted and the way Sapnap was sitting on his legs, it was almost impossible to do anything but kick his legs against the arm of the couch and turn fully onto his stomach.

"Alright enough stalling," Sapnap commented before pushing Dream's hoodie up his back, blowing another raspberry on the back of Dream's ribs. Dream arched his back again, not getting very far this time with the way his front was pressed into the couch below him.

"Nahahaha, ohohoh my gohohod, that's so bahahahad," Dream complained, squealing and covering his mouth in embarrassment when Sapnap placed three raspberries in a line up his spine, the first one right between the dips of the dimples in his lower back and the final one netween his shoulder blades. "Sahahapnahap, plehehehease,"

"It's alright, there's just three left, you're so close. You honestly lasted way longer than I expected."

"Whahahat– ahaha– whahat is that supposed to mehean?" Dream asked, turning his head around to look at Sapnap behind him.

"Nothing! I just expected you to tap out, y'know?"

"I dihidn't– AH!" Sapnap cut him off by leaning forward and blowing a raspberry against the side of his neck.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Yohohou suhuck…" Dream mumbled, burying his face in his arm as he waited for the final two raspberries to hit him. "I wahas– I was gonna sahay Ihihi don't need toho tap out."

"Oh. Well, that's good, because I'm gonna make these last two unbearable now," Sapnap teased again, earning a loud, muffled groan from Dream. Sapnap took a deep breath, taking in as much air as he possibly could, smiling as he used all of his breath to blow one long, continued raspberry on Dream's side.

"NAHAhaha–!" Dream laughed freely, strength leaving his body as Sapnap repeated the action, blowing his longest raspberry yet as his big finale. He giggled against Dream's skin as he pulled away, tugging Dream's hoodie down and flopping down to lay flat on top of his limp form.

"Allllll done, birthday boy!" Sapnap said, still giggling along with Dream as he came down from his ticklish high.

"That was horrible. My spine is tingling," Dream explained once his laughter calmed down. "I'm exhausted."

"You're welcome," Sapnap said with a giggle, making Dream smile and shake his head against his arm.

Sapnap pushed himself up, standing and reaching a hand out to help Dream stand as well. It took him a moment to adjust himself, twisting his hoodie's sleeves and torso from where they were slightly turned from his squirming, and standing up straight to stretch.

"And," Sapnap began. "Just think. Now you can help me do this to other people too. Especially George."

Dream couldn't help but smile, the idea of George falling victim to the same treatment he was just subjected to sitting at the forefront of his mind.

"I would be honored."

And with that, the two parted to their individual bedrooms, and Dream went to sleep that night thinking about what it might be like if he was one to get Sapnap back on his upcoming birthday…

It may have been the best night of sleep he'd ever had.

[columboscreens]

Oh for sure it'd be really difficult to find somebody who could play the role even half as well as Peter Falk, but I don't like to roll over and say it's impossible to recast the role. One big story problem would be his being a cop. Which uhhhh I don't think that'd fly. As bad as police were then, they are so much worse. A man like Columbo just wouldn't last long. He's too good. One cop murders someone, Columbo'd expose him as is his moral obligation, and he'd lose his job.

The mental image of basically the Martin Landau episode but it's Peter Falk hunting down Peter Falk is such a gonzo idea I'm sure Falk would love it. It wouldn't make a lick of sense but DAMN IT it'd be fun!

two peter falks a la landau in double shock is exactly what i had in mind! itd be so campy that i think it would wrap back around and be good. i could probably talk him into it. now i just need a ouija board...

regarding cophood, i've had that talk on twitter a few times. i wrote a little thread on it here.

i imagine a current-day columbo as likely a licensed private investigator, someone who works in tandem with the law but not as part of the police. that way, he'd retain the legal authority and access to resources that he uses to obtain and interpret information, but without being part of the problematic entity that is the modern institution of american policing.

really, they're incompatible. there's no way in hell a police department in the 2020s would let columbo exist, and i don't think a columbo in the 2020s would want to remain a police officer. i mention in that twitter thread that cops were always bastards, but at least back then a cop was just some asshole with a shirt and a revolver, maybe a semiauto pistol or vest if they wanted to really beef it up. nowadays they're armed like combat soldiers with none of the commensurate training.

SWAT gear? carrying an AR? bullying, beating, killing a suspect into compliance? that's not how columbo conducts business.

pictured: sly, unarmed little elf

in terms of a new person inhabiting columbo, as much as i'd like to see it, i am pretty firmly in the camp of it being nearly impossible to do. columbo was as much peter falk as peter falk was columbo. they're two different men obviously, but as i've mentioned before, falk put so much of himself into columbo that it's difficult to divorce the two entities. they're like dr. jekyll and mr. hyde.

i'd be totally down for something else. maybe an animated series, an origin story, a columbo descendent, or even just a series with an inverted mystery and a new character who evokes columbo but isn't by name (last i heard natasha lyonne is working on something like this with rian johnson, the knives out director). we need more new media and less reboot media, anyway.

but my opinion on a modern revival of columbo proper? ech. it really isn't as simple as "mark ruffalo looks like columbo" or "natasha lyonne acts like columbo". i think a project relying on that is doomed to fail.

i cannot overstate how legendary a show 70s columbo is in almost every regard. it's not enough to merely have curly hair or channel peter falk in a performance; that show was such an insanely auspicious coalition of talented moving parts that i think it'd be nearly impossible to recapture that sheer magic. you would have to have a huge budget, a ton of the RIGHT talent, a strong creative vision, and a lot of time to even have a chance of approaching that baseline of quality, which, good luck getting on netflix or amazon prime or whatever.

but even if you managed a big budget, it'd be dicey. hell, the bar was set so high that falk himself mostly failed to clear it when he brought his own series back. that's the real barometer of success potential for me.

that said, if i'm ever proven wrong, and on this i would love to be proven wrong, i'd be extremely impressed with whoever managed it. i'd even have to give them brownie points for merely trying--as long as they don't try any weird CGI necromancy.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

hey what are your thoughts on the second bts chapter right now?

So boring 😭 they said hiatus very clearly then the company panicked and scrambled to unsay the word hiatus but the way things are going.. it is a hiatus. For BTS standards, for how much they used to do and how much content they used to put out, this is nothing. There's nothing going on. But it's the Hybe way, let's not talk about things, they will happen anyways but if we don't say the word it doesn't make it real. Jin has to literally enlist in a couple of months.

Taennie is probably the most interesting thing that's been happening and they're both extremely uninteresting people, so that's how you know it's bad😂 There's nothing exciting about two people dating either, just interesting in that it's different. Something that hasn't really happened before in the BTS/army universe.

Taehyung's Vogue interview is so ??? too. He keeps saying he wants to do different things, show different sides.. well where are all these sides? like what are you waiting for. The clothes he's wearing are the same he's always worn for BTS, same hairstyle, same hair color, same poses, same stuff he's been saying for the past 10 years.

Hoseok's album and lollapalooza and jihope were so much fun for the two days it lasted. Looking back, I thought albums or new music (singles, collabs) would roll out one after the other and that's why the promo for Jack in the box was so little, but none of that has happened. It just ended really quickly for no apparent reason at all. I don't want pjm1 to have the same fate tbh. But it probably will.

Did they actually say there would be (NEW) run BTS episodes or did we all collectively make that up? Or are they filming it and they'll release it in two years like they always do?

It's nice tho that I was right about Jimin. I kept saying that he was fully committed to BTS but that once BTS was over he would be 100% committed to being a solo artist and there he is, he hasn't stopped making music since April, no breaks for months. I knew he would come through :') knowing that it's happening, that he's working on it, at least gives people something to look forward to. In the BTS as a group department there's nothing like that. No anticipation or much excitement for anything.

Even the whole Busan expo thing is so unorganized and there was/is controversy around it. I think it was hybe's last and desperate measure to keep BTS alive and because they don't really care about it, it's been done this way, carelessly. Hybe is paying for everything lmao the city is not moving a finger for them. So to me that means hybe wanted this to happen more than the city did. Because when a government is putting together events like this, they usually pay the artists to go and perform, they are in charge of everything. This whole thing isn't coming across like that. Or in any case what is hybe getting from the government that they accepted to take care of all expenses.

I don't really care about much of this stuff, it doesn't mean that I don't see it happening. But it is boring. Very underwhelming. I thought there would be more music, more fashion deals, tv appearances, all that, in the same capacity for everyone. It feels like they still don't have a plan, like they just called it quits for some reason without any actual plan for the "second chapter". I believe the only one who was ready for all of this was Hoseok, and Taehyung with his fashion stuff. As for the rest, it seems it was an "okay let's stop here as BTS and we'll see how it goes, we'll play it by ear from now on". It makes me wonder why did they have to be so rushed about it, to announce the hiatus in the middle of the year knowing that not much would happen afterwards. BTS could've done a couple of more songs and promo as a group, meanwhile everyone could've released solo songs or albums that they had ready (like jitb) in the middle of it, the way twice is doing. It would've most likely been over by December anyways, because Jin is supposed to enlist. His enlistment would've been a good opportunity to say well we're going to have to start our civil obligations now so we'll each do our own thing while we wait for the group to be complete again. But they were literally itching to put a pause to BTS. Is Jennie pregnant?!? Are Jimin's kids real?!? I guess they were really burned out, but still things could've been handled so differently, better imo.

[shinigamiplayroom]

Never The Same Love Twice: Dabi x F!Reader

A/N: This is my piece for @pleasantanathema Classic Lit Collab! This is loosely inspired by The Great Gatsby. I decided to go with a more modern setting but the plot is still generally the same 😅. I had so much fun writing this! Thank you for hosting! 💜Also thank you sm to @chaos-night for making the mood board for this piece! If you're into listening to music while you read I listened to this playlist while I wrote!

CW/TW: alcohol use, cheating, kissing, vaginal sex (reader on top), light hair pulling. pretty vanilla tbh

Summary: University AU! After an argument about your boyfriend, Keigo's, most recent cheating episode, he convinces you to go to a party with him that's being thrown by someone most people have only ever heard rumors about, Touya Todoroki.

WC: 3900

“The host requires each guest to leave their phones in the safe. It will be returned to you once you depart.”

“Seriously?” You eye your boyfriend with a raised eyebrow, who strategically happened to omit that little detail when he convinced you to come to this party.

“Relax, babe,” Keigo says, waving your suspicion away like a bad smell. “I’ve met this guy. Just a security measure because he’s fuckin’ loaded. We’ll get ‘em back.” The look on your face echoes your uncertainty, and he puts his arm around you. “I mean, do you want to hold onto your phone or do you want to go in there?” Keigo points towards the massive glass doors ahead of you, the glossy black and white floors reflecting saturated hues of purples, reds and blues from inside.

You’ll admit you’ve never been anywhere like this. The moment you stepped out of the car your eyes couldn’t decide where to look first. Nude sculptures framed the entrance, faces etched in expressions of eternal ecstasy. Keigo loved those. “Guy’s got good taste, yeah?” You rolled your eyes at that one. Probably not the best joke considering the latest argument you had when you found out he had a drunken hook up at the last party he went to without you.

“Babe, it didn’t mean anything.” His hands grasped both sides of your face, pulling you in to look directly into your eyes, stinging with angry tears. “I’m sorry, I swear I wasn’t thinking, I was drunk.”

“Why didn’t you just go home, then? You know how you get when you’re-“

“Babe,” he coos, his thumb brushing the tears streaming down your cheeks, “I already said I was sorry. Talking about it isn’t going to make it any better. Listen, next time, just come to the party with me, right? Then that won’t happen.” He kissed your forehead and tried making it up to you with your favorite food and anime, but when he held you in his arms the image of him fucking someone else stained in your mind.

That’s how you ended up here, at the entrance of this monolithic modern looking building towering at least three stories high along with a mass of people. Someone actually lives here?

Prismatic lights and pulsing music invade your senses. The room you just walked into is such a stark contrast to anything you’ve ever seen, that your eyes try to swallow every image it can, resigning it to memory.

An indoor pool lit from every angle sits in the center of the room, the water rippling in hypnotic colors that match the lights ebbing from the walls. Platforms on either side of the pool hold small groups of people dancing and swaying to the music. All encompassed by plush couches and cushions lining the walls between the fully stocked bars handing out technicolor booze.

This is insane.

“Touya’s parties are Insane right?” Keigo says, raising his voice over the music as if he could hear your thoughts. You’re not sure his definition of insane is the same one you were using, but you return a weak smile towards them anyways. You’ve heard Touya’s name before, seen it on various forms of social media, almost every post gushing about the parties he throws every Saturday night. But along with those same posts you discovered that hardly any of them have actually met him, or knew anything about him at all, which just drove more and more people to want to attend. No one was going to pass up a good time and good booze, even if all they knew about him were just rumors.

Somehow though, Keigo managed to get a personal invite from Touya in his DM’s and now here you are, trying to ruin the mood but you’ve never been much for crowds. You usually found yourself melting into the background, nurturing the same drink for most of the night, which is actually how you and Keigo met.

The campus golden boy, flitting around the room finally landing against you. Literally, spilling your drink all over you. He was so caring then, shielding you from the embarrassment of standing out in a party your roommate dragged you to “cure your homesickness.” Getting accepted to your dream school was great, but you realized moving across the country to do that left pieces of you behind.

So when Keigo texted you, the next day “just to make sure you got home okay” you felt a pull. As if his acknowledgment of your existence meant maybe you could be someone in this new place. You were both drawn to the things you didn’t have. His lighthearted, extroverted nature, the flame that set your more reserved instincts alight.

That worked for a while. Until the first time your roommate sent you a picture with Keigo’s arm around another girl. You knew he was friendly with everyone, you didn’t think much of it, but you kept seeing her around. Your suspicion continued to build quietly in your chest when Keigo would cancel plans last minute or you couldn’t reach him. You haven’t allowed yourself to sink into thinking she was the one Keigo “accidentally” slept with. It hurts too much, but the constant second guessing has been gnawing at you. Even now, watching him laugh and interact with other people sitting back with his arms splayed across the back of the couch you’d found yourselves on, is making your chest tight. You need a minute.

You squeeze Keigo’s arm, leaning over to speak loud enough for him to hear. “I’m gonna go get another drink.”

He smiles back at you, leaning in. Your eyes flutter closed expecting to feel his lips against yours, but his elevated voice breaches your ear instead.

“Perfect! Grab me one too while you’re over there would you babe?”

Your shoulders fall slightly, quickly opening your eyes when he pulls back to meet his gaze with a forced smile as you nod before you walk over to the bar. You were suddenly grateful for the moving sea of people widening the space between you and the current of emotions and questions coursing through you. Is this all I’m here for? To get him drinks and babysit him?

You order your drinks, your eyes floating around the room as you wait, landing on a spiral staircase at the far end of the room. When the bartender slides your drinks in front of you, you decide you’re not ready to go back to Keigo. If he wanted a drink he could’ve just come with me. Curiosity tugs at you down one of the drinks before your feet start to move towards the smooth stairs, beckoning to you in the hazy colors shifting around the room.

Your hand finds the glossy railing on the stairs and you ascend, the alcohol blurring any second thoughts out of your mind. Once you reach the landing, you pass the loft that overlooks the bottom floor, a smaller group of people too lost in the party to notice you slip by. You keep walking, pausing every now and then with your drink in your hand to observe the painting that covers the expanse of the wall. All alternating black and white sections that seem to be a simple pattern at first glance, but when you take a step back, you see it. It’s an optical illusion.

For some reason the irony hits you so hard it makes you laugh.

“You caught it didn’t you?” A low voice beside you asks.

Your eyes widen at how close it sounds, turning your head to take in the image of someone you haven’t seen in years. He’s looking up at the painting with his hand shoved in his pocket, amber liquid swirling in his glass as he shifts his cerulean gaze toward you with a soft smile.

“Dabi?” Your brow furrows in confusion as you try to piece the occurring events together, failing miserably. You don’t understand how he’s here. You haven’t seen him since your mutual break up before you both moved to different states for college. The beginning of your freshman year you would still talk on and off but that was before you met Keigo.

He made it clear that he didn’t like the idea of you talking to your ex, so you stopped. Unfollowed on social media, deleted his number, all of it. Initially, you didn’t see the harm in it, you weren’t with Dabi anymore. You broke up to begin new chapters of your lives, but it would be lying if you said there weren’t times you thought about him. Now, here he is, standing beside you, starting a conversation like it hasn’t been three years since you’ve seen each other.

“Hey, y/n.” He turns to face you, the smile on his lips the same smile that made you have to catch your breath when you were together. Your chest gets tighter taking in the sight of him. His dark hair fell right around his shoulders, a thin silver chain around his neck leading you to the tattoo peeking out above the neckline of his black shirt. You notice one of his forearms is etched in similar swirling black ink before catching the expanse of muscle evident beneath the fabric of his shirt. The questions are forming in your head faster than your lips can move to say anything. So you utter the most socially acceptable words you can manage when you run into a stranger you used to love.

“How long has it been?” You ask.

He quirks an eyebrow, shaking his head and smiling down at you as he moves closer.

“It’s been a while, almost four years now right?”

You take a second to process. He’s right, the end of this year would be closer to four years than three. Did you really block him out that much?

“Damn, yeah, I think you’re right.” You don’t mention the reason why you haven’t spoken to him in just as long. “But what are you doing here?” Jesus, could you sound like more of an asshole? “I mean, this is nowhere near your school.”

He smirks at you, his lips wet from the sip he just took from his drink. “Yeah, I moved here pretty recently actually. Do you want a tour?”

Your eyes widen, “Wait you live here? I thought this was Touya’s-wait…”

He raises both eyebrows this time, holding his drink out to clink against your glass. “Touya Todoroki, nice to meet you.”

You watch him, lips parted and speechless as he tips his drink into his mouth, his cobalt eyes locked onto yours. He laughs, setting his drink down on a nearby table, holding his hand out toward you, “You gonna take the offer on that tour?”

You nod, placing your hand into his, and he intertwines your fingers together like they’ve never been apart, leading you down the hallway toward the various doors dotting the walls. An office with floor to ceiling windows, a bathroom with a skylight, a guest room that puts your entire apartment to shame, and the last room that opened into his bedroom.

“This spot..” He leads you to the open balcony attached to his bedroom, plexiglass the only thing separating you from the rest of the world below you. “This is why I bought the place.”

The sounds of the party still softly fill the space around you as you look out into the night. You can actually see your off campus apartment from here. A rush flows through you, thinking about how close you’ve been all this time, and you had no idea.

“This is insane,” you say, a smile spreading across your face as the early summer breeze brushes against your skin.

You look over at him, to see him leaning on the barrier, his eyes already on you as he smiles back.

“How?” You ask, the question blinking over and over again in your mind like a beacon of light.

“I got a job. I got paid. I decided I wanted a change of scenery.”

You laugh, “Oh, it’s that simple, huh?” You hold his gaze as he stands to move toward you.

“It is that simple,” He says, pulling the chain around his neck out from the fabric of his shirt. There’s a small glass vial on the end filled with granules of sand.

Your hand instinctively reaches for it, looking closely at the sand you sent him from the first beach you went to after you moved. You were still close then. Your breakup was mutual, but the way you felt for him stretched across the hundreds of miles you were away from each other. He kept it? You lift your head, looking up at him with tears welling behind your eyes. He’s close, so close you can smell the heady scent of cardamom and smoky vanilla on his shirt.

He’s changed so much, but you could feel it in the way he looked at you, in the way his lips pulled up into that familiar half smile, in the way your hand fit into his, he was still Dabi, the boy you could never quite get your heart to shake. The house, the party, the music fades into a haze while his azure eyes settle into yours, his hand cupping the side of your face as he pulls you into him.

“I would do it all over again. Bust my ass, move across the country, put up with all those entitled ass holes and wait for you to walk through those doors, just to do this.”

Your mind instinctively flashes to Keigo. It’s laughable how quickly Dabi read him while it’s taken you months to realize who he really is beneath the blinding light of his persona. You were looking for someone, something to fill the void of what you thought was homesickness, but you were too stubborn to admit the only fix was the dark haired blue eyed boy you left behind.

You lean into his touch, the warmth from his hand melting away any of the remaining doubts you held in your mind. His other hand moves up to brush the side of your neck, your heartbeat pulsing against his fingertips.

“Tell me to stop.” He breathes into your ear, his lips trailing down your neck.

Your breath catches, the heat building in your core flooding the surface of your skin with goosebumps. Your hands are still between your bodies, fingers grasping onto his shirt like the last life raft on a sinking ship as you tilt your head up towards him,

“Don’t,” you whisper, half lidded eyes falling to his parted lips.

It’s as if that one word unlocked something in him, he’d kept dormant for so long. He crashes into you, his lips pressing into yours with shallow breaths as his tongue slips into your mouth. He tastes like warm cinnamon and cigarettes, the air you’re sharing alive with heat and longing you were both desperate to drown in.

One of his hands shifts into your hair, pulling just enough to make your head tilt back, giving him access to your neck. The heat from his open mouth kisses against your touch sensitive skin pulls a whimpering moan from your lips as you press your body against him. The firm ridge at his zipper pushing into you as you hold onto him.

“I wanna see you.” Dabi brings his lips to your bare shoulder, his thumb stroking against the strap of your dress before lifting his head to rest his forehead against yours. You look up at him and give a soft nod, too breathless to form words. He pulls you into a softer kiss, humming his gratitude into your lips as he holds onto you, walking backwards until the back of his legs touch the foot of the bed.

His hand finds the zipper at the back of your dress, pulling it down to let the fabric begin its descent down your shoulders. He breaks the kiss, pulling back to run his fingers down your neck and over your arms. Shaky breaths echo your stuttering heartbeat, at his touch smoothing across your back, pushing your dress onto the floor in a puddle.

The cool air kisses your skin as he moves to pull his shirt off over his head and you take in the sight of him. He stills when your hands travel across his chest, running down the length of his muscle hardened body. He grips your hips, his breath fanning your face when you look up at him again.

You don’t need words. Just heartbeats and gasping breaths as you cling to each other, falling back onto his king sized bed. He kisses you on every available expanse of skin, lips hungry to taste more of you while his hands grip and caress the soft hills and valleys of your body. You melt into him, every point of contact carrying waves of heated pressure to your core. You’re aching for him, hips rolling against the bulge in his pants as his hands slide down your chest, palming your breasts in his large hands, before unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down, freeing his leaking cock.

He grips your thigh with one hand, fingers digging into kneading into your soft skin while his other hand finds your pulsing clit, rubbing small circles over your soaked underwear. He groans into your panting mouth, his cock twitching against your stomach connecting you with sticky strands of pre. A contrasting cooling feeling brushes against your warm center making you look down to see rungs of piercings along the length of his impossibly hard shaft. Oh…fuck. Your muscles tighten, your thighs clamping down around his hips as you rock into him.

“Ffuck,” he growls, rutting into you once before pulling you against him, sitting up so his back is against the headboard. You wrap your arms around his neck, your hands tangling in his raven locks, the tip of his dick smearing pre onto your lower back while it curves against your ass. He grips your hips, rolling them back and forth making the friction between you press against your clit.

“Fuck-please,” you whimper, burying your face into the crook of his neck, your slick starting to make you slide against his adonis belt. You need more. You want more.

His hand travels up your spine, squeezing around the nape of your neck before he grips your hair, pulling your head back so he can see your face.

“Tell me what you want, babygirl.” He kisses your neck, his free hand rolling your pebbled nipple between his fingertips. A low moan lilts from your throat, your back arching into him as your ass grinds into his wet cock.

“Please-I wan’ it, wanna feel you so bad,” you groan.

Both of his hands grip your hips, lifting you up enough for his tip to kiss your entrance. You're so wet already the head of his cock pushes into you with a soft shift of his hips. Your walls clamp down around him, eager to suck him in, to feel the burn of being stretched and full. He hisses through his teeth, rolling his hips pushing more of his length into your quivering pussy.

“Oh fuck-fuck you’re so tight baby.” He drops his head to your breast, pulling your nipple into his wet mouth grazing you with his teeth as he rocks your hips. Every shallow thrust pushes him deeper inside you, making you gasp as your walls take more of the rungs lining his thick shaft, the ridges stretching out even more. The feeling makes your eyes glaze over, your senses taking over for your hazy mind.

Your hips move with his next thrust sinking you further down onto his twitching cock, and his hands move to grip your ass, holding you in place when he snaps his hips, finally filling you to the brim. His mouth drops open, groaning against your sweat slick skin as he stills his movements, cupping the side of your face as he looks up at you.

“So fucking perfect,” he whispers against your lips, before he starts to move. His hands grab handfuls of your ass, lifting you up just to impale you on his dick, flexing inside you as he rolls his hips to meet with your movements.

“Fuck-baby…fuck, you feel so good,” he breathes. His hands grasp at the canvas of your body, his fingerprints painting your skin in soft touches and bruising grips. And you lose yourself. Lose yourself in the sound of your name on his lips, the feeling of his cock brushing against the spongy spot inside you again and again, the taste of your tears and his warm tongue in your mouth. You’re so close, the coil inside you, poised to snap and then you hear his voice.

“Whose pussy is it baby…” he whispers against your ear, his hips moving in circles, teasing you with your release.

You whine against his shoulder, panting to try to push some form of words out of your mouth.

He growls, snapping his hips and holding your hips down hitting your deepest parts. You throw your head back, a litany of moans flying from your lips as your nails dig into his shoulders.

“Tell me whose pussy it is so you can cum on this cock.”

“Yours!” Your voice breaks, looking down at him through tears as you cup his face with soft hands, “I’m yours.” You lean down to kiss his parted lips, his eyes soft and desperate like he’s been waiting to hear you say those words his whole life. He groans into your mouth, breaths picking up as he wraps his arms around you, both of you moving in tandem as he drives into your tight heat in hard, rhythmic strokes.

You hold each other like you couldn’t get close enough, his body tensing up beneath you as your gummy walls clamp down around him, milking his cock until his strokes begin to stutter.

“Fuck-“ you breathe against him. Your moans turning to shuddering cries as his last thrusts push you over the edge, the coil inside you snaps, bathing you in white blinding sparks that ripple through every nerve in your body.

“Tha’s right baby…you’re mine-you’re mine.” His voice makes your pussy convulse even more around Dabi’s throbbing cock sending him to his own undoing as he watches you fall apart.

“Fuck-ah! FUCK!” He groans, pouring hot, thick ropes of cum into you, painting your insides as he holds you against him, kissing your neck, your shoulder, your chest, before rolling over with you in his arms. He keeps his softening cock inside you, while he smooths your hair out of your face, brushing his fingertips along the line of your jaw.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he says, as you nuzzle into his chest, marveling at how much he feels like home.

Home. Oh shit. Your eyes widen when you remember Keigo is still here. You feel Dabi’s weight shifting before you open your mouth to say anything, he’s pulled a phone out of the nightstand drawer.

“What are you-“

“The only reason I was having these parties was to get you here, y/n. They can all go home, or wherever the fuck they’re going. I’ll order a ride for your ex too.”