#the gorgonian grotto

[afterthegreatunknown]

The Boat Sails By, the Shore Remains

It’s only when Fiona hears the sure sound of the motel door clicking close by Quigley that she acts. She closes the kitchenette’s refrigerator door, water bottle in hand, and stares at Stepfather. He continues to quietly sew up the small patch on his coat.

Fiona then walks over to the close curtain, passing by Fernald. He’s still on the sofa, watching the ending of the 1982 classic film, The Thing. MacReady and Childs are sharing their last drink together, knowing well they don’t trust each other. Both think of each other as the Thing itself, making one last ploy.

She takes a peek out the window, and sees the Quagmires and Hector are hanging around the pool. Duncan and Isadora are carefully sitting by the edge, while Hector and Quigley are sitting on the few chairs provided by the motel itself. The four are doing their best to relax. Fiona is rather envious of them.

Relaxing is something her family can’t do. No one was on speaking terms with one another since yesterday night. Everything about last night was…eventful. Fiona can’t forget how painful everything was when talking to Fernald about Stepfather and the Gorgonian Grotto.

Fiona quickly walked down the pathway that led to the family motel room. She’s glad that when the group checked in, the Quagmires and Hector decided to get their own separate room.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fiona! Will you slow down!?”

“I can’t! You just confirmed what I suspected in the Gorgonian Grotto. Stepfather knew the Baudelaires and I could recharge our air supply, because he was there! He was there, with you! I need to—I need to know everything now!”

“Fiona, please! Slow down, and think about the mistake you’re going to make!”

“Mistake?” Fiona couldn’t believe what she’s hearing.

“Yes, mistake,” hissed Fernald into her ear. “As much as I would love to see Stepfather get call out about his role in the fire, now isn’t the time. What if the others hear us yelling through the walls? Just because it’s late at night doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be inconsiderate of them.”

“Why are you worried about the volume of our voices?” Fiona couldn’t help but let loose her anger at Fernald. His sudden hypocritical behavior was grating. “Between you and Stepfather, it’s you who never gave a damn about yelling in all of your fights.”

“Because—hang on. You heard our fights!?”

“Aye! Did you never thought I would have potentially woken up because of your yelling?” Fiona took a deep breath in, and then let it out. “Stepfather at least attempted to keep his voice quiet at the beginning of all the fights, but you never did. Not once.”

“…No. It never—I never thought of any of those things,” faltered Fernald. “And it also never occurred to me that you could remember the fights despite being a toddler at the time.”

Fiona didn’t get a chance to reply back to Fernald on how she could remember, for the door suddenly opened up. Stepfather’s head sticks out, and he looked at his right, and then his left. Upon seeing her and Fernald, Stepfather went outside, and curled the end of his mustache.

“Fiona. Fernald.” Stepfather stared at them with solemn eyes. “I think it’s time we have a family discussion. A long, overdue, family discussion...”

And such pain spiraled over into the family discussion. Family discussions are never an easy walk in the park, but oh boy. So much information was revealed to Fiona by Stepfather —with the occasional input by Fernald— in the span of thirty-three minutes.

In thirty-three minutes, Fiona heard Stepfather explaining how Fernald, back when he was fifteen-year-old, swam into the Gorgonian Grotto. Fernald swam into the grotto because his stature allowed him to fit in. Once he was in, he was ordered to use the back then working pump system to drain the grotto. Why Fernald drained the grotto? To allow outsiders who couldn’t fit in, in. Inside to get access to the once standing research center/rhetorical advice center.

Outsiders, like Stepfather.

In thirty-three minutes, Fiona heard Stepfather talking of volunteers who knew of the Volatile Fungus Deportation project, and how some became very concern. They became concern the research and specimens would fall into the wrong hands. Their concern was that Gregor Anwhistle and his team were going to play with fire, and would be looking into the abyss itself.

One such concern volunteer, was Kit Snicket.

In thirty-three minutes, Fiona heard Stepfather describing how Kit Snicket —a woman Fiona was told many times to be thoughtful and noble— after trying to reason with Gregor and failing, went to one of her closest associates for a favor. A favor that was a last resort. A last resort that had Gregor Anwhistle losing his life, and Anwhistle Aquatic set ablaze.

It was a favor Stepfather did without any hesitation.

In thirty-three minutes, Fiona heard how after the favor was done, those concern volunteers kept quiet. Or rather, attempted to keep quiet. Outsiders got nosy, especially outsiders not part of the organization. Their attempts to keep mum of the Anwhistle Aquatic fire origins blew up when Fernald, fed up after one too many fights, left. Left the Queequeg, his family, everything.

That, is what one call bad timing. A concern volunteer, Jacques Snicket, was assigned to report Fernald’s leaving. But an outsider with the initials ‘G.J.’ was investigating the fire like a true journalist. G.J.’s article had the other concern volunteers deciding on how to handle the matter.

And that, was to make Fernald their scapegoat.

Hearing that all in thirty-three minutes, Fiona was left speechless. The answer she longed for were told. And she hated it. She hated it to where she suddenly needed fresh air.

Fiona stared down at the pool, and kicks the water with her feet. Most people would likely go for a swim to relax, but Fiona always liked to put her feet in the water instead. She took joy in seeing the small splashes flying. But tonight, for who knows how long it’s been, the water did nothing to ease her nerves.

“I’m glad to see you didn’t run off to a different part of the motel,” said a familiar voice. “You never know what danger lurks around.”

Fiona doesn’t bother to look back at Fernald. “Did Stepfather asked you checked up on me? Was he worried I was going to run away like you did all those years ago?”

“No. Stepfather actually tried to stop me. He thought that you needed some personal time alone to comprehend it all.” Fernald kicked the ground. “Have you comprehended it all?”

Fiona kicked the pool water with her left foot. “What do you think, Fernald? I just got drop a bombshell in a little over a half-hour time. Everything that I thought is change once again. To think that Stepfather had no qualms with his actions. No qualms about killing one of his closest associates. No qualms about playing with fire on request.”

Fiona stayed quiet for a bit before speaking again. “He had no qualms about sending his own stepchild into a dark grotto in the first place.”

“Where you got that idea?” Fernald’s tone sounds almost defensive. “It is because he agreed to throw me underneath the bus? Stepfather did had qualms on sending me into the Gorgonian Grotto. In fact, Stepfather never would have sent me inside there in first place if it wasn’t for—”

Fernald suddenly stopped talking.

“For what?” Fiona removed her feet from out of the pool, and spun around on the concrete. She grabs her sneakers, and stood up. Fiona couldn’t help but notice Fernald begun to look slightly pale. “Fernald, why wouldn’t our Stepfather have done that in the first place?”

“…If it wasn’t for the fact my candidacy was heavily push for,” answered Fernald slowly. “Stepfather wanted someone else to go in. He wanted me to stay out of the mess. But I was the one to be chosen in the end.”

“Stepfather wanted you stay with him?” Fiona felt her lower lip quiver, and bit it. She couldn’t help but thought back to that day, before he left. She thought about how she and the Baudelaires prepared for the long, dark, drift. How Stepfather made the odd, silly, and rather insensitive suggestion of the Baudelaires to pull straws. How Stepfather after hearing the Baudelaires said they don’t want to be separated from one another in the journey—

“What about you, Fiona? Aye! You could stay here with me!”

After getting that fresh air, upon returning back, Fiona told Stepfather she needed more time to process everything. Fiona asked him to not speak to her unless she spoke to him first.

As for Fernald, while Fiona didn’t enact a ‘no talking’ rule, she said very few words to him throughout the remainder of the night, and well into the day.

But now, certain on the fact the Quagmires and Hector are occupy, Fiona decides it’s time for another family discussion. Fiona turns around, and went back to the kitchenette. She pulls out the opposite chair in front of Stepfather, and sits down. Fiona hears Fernald turning off the television. Eventually, another chair gets pull out, and is sit on.

The three of them sit there together, quietly. Fiona watches Stepfather carefully setting down the needle and coat onto the table, and places his hands on the table. Fiona watches Fernald looking down at the table, hooks on his lap. Fiona takes a deep breathe in, and then let it out.

“Having more time to process everything,” begins Fiona, “I understand why you and the others were worried about the Medusoid Mycelium. Seeing it firsthand with Sunny Baudelaire was horrible. It was fascinating, but ultimately horrible.”

Fiona pauses. She waits to see if either one will talk. They don’t.

“But just because I understand, it doesn’t mean I agree with what you all did,” continues Fiona. “For instance, I come to understand you wouldn’t hesitate to send someone else in Fernald’s place. And the only reason you allowed Fernald to go in was because he was heavily pushed into the role by someone else.”

Fiona watches Stepfather stare at Fernald, as if he got betrayed. Fernald slowly lifts up his head, and gives Stepfather an almost guilty look that reads, “It just slipped out of my mouth.”

That’s a rather odd expression for them to have, in her opinion.

Fiona thinks it odd, but she doesn’t think on it further. Stepfather then turns back towards her, and blinks a few times. He then closes his eyes as he lowers his head.

“What I did to Fernald back then is something I’m not proud off,” says Stepfather, quietly. “It’s a moment I can’t undo. Aye, it’s one of the three moments in my life I want to erase, but can’t.”

“What are the other two moments?”

Stepfather doesn’t answer. He only reopens his eyes, and gives a stern look at Fernald. Fernald quickly gets out of his chair, walks over to the motel bedroom door, and opens it.

“I know my presence is no longer needed, but bold of you to assume I want to risk getting push into the motel pool by the Quagmires,” says Fernald. “Thank goodness there’s two T.V.s in our suite. We really hit the jackpot with this motel.”

Fernald enters the bedroom, and soon closes the door. After waiting a minute in silence, Fiona hears the faint sound of what is audience laughter playing from the other side of the wall. Ah, so Fernald is making sure he wouldn’t be accidental eavesdropping. That’s nice of him to do.

Fiona and Stepfather stare at one another in silence. And then…

“You and I know what is one of those two moments, Sreypich.” Stepfather places one of his hands out towards her.

Fiona is taken back by what Stepfather says at the end.

When Fiona was younger —she must have been around four years old— Stepfather started the habit of speaking in his native language of Khmer around her. Fiona heard him speak it before at an even younger age, but that was because she was eavesdropping. Stepfather thought he was alone at the time, and thus found it perfectly acceptable to do so.

Over the years, Fiona learned Khmer words via context clues of Stepfather pointing at things, as well as his own translations. Fiona’s weakness is foreign languages, so she’s fine with knowing some words instead of many. For instance, Fiona knows that srey means ‘girl’, while pich means ‘diamond’. Sreypich is a name that roughly means diamond girl.

Fiona does not like being call Sreypich. Sreypich is a nice and lovely name, but Fiona feels the name doesn’t suit her. She doesn’t understand Stepfather’s logic of picking that name.

The way Stepfather stopped calling her Sreypich was terrible though. It was her twelfth birthday, and they went to a local café. An older volunteer who been around since Stepfather was a young boy was also there. The next day, she and Stepfather arrived to headquarters to drop off a package. There, the volunteer shamed Stepfather publicly for it, in front of a crowd. The stares and glares had Stepfather dragging Fiona out as quickly as possible.

Since that day, Stepfather never called her Sreypich. Until now, of course.

“Sreypich,” Stepfather continues, “I’m sorry I failed to stop you —and the Baudelaires— from going in the Gorgonian Grotto. No, I’m sorry that I made you go into the Gorgonian Grotto in the first place. It was a task that shouldn’t been yours in the first place. Aye, no parents should force their child into doing something so dangerous. But some parents unfortunately do, and I’m ashamed to be one of them. Had I just told you of my true feeling of the matter—"

“Things could have been very different,” finishes Fiona. “There are some things that should be said directly instead of being imply.”

Fiona then reaches out towards Stepfather’s outreach hand, and gently pats it. “I do take comfort knowing now that you attempted —very poorly, I should add— to stop me and the Baudelaires. You tried in your own way to prevent the mistake with Fernald from happening again. But just because I take comfort, it doesn’t mean I completely forgiven you. What you did hurt me in ways I still need time to heal from. And I’m unsure when that will happen.”

“That’s fine by me,” answers Stepfather. “I just want you to feel comfortable around me again.”

Fiona then gets out of the chair. “Now that, I already am. And I have nothing more to ask or say to you regarding the Anwhistle Aquatic fire. At least at the moment. If something does come to mind about the fire, will you promise me you’ll be willing to answer it?”

“Of course, Sreypich.”

Fiona nods her head, and walks over to the bedroom door. As she grabs the doorknob, Fiona feels herself smiling. While she still doesn’t feel like diamond girl, it’s good to heard it again.

[universeofmuses]

❝ he’s dead, isn’t he? ❞ Kit to Lemony

Lemony had caught up with his brother, he had heard that a very specific yellow taxi cab was towed from Montgomery Montgomery's estate. The only reason he had heard about it was because he was on the trail of the Baudelaire orphans, arriving just a moment too late. He had been filled with grief when he finally found the body, his poor brother... The sight of the scene he had found was something that would burned in his mind. He was happy he could spare his older sister the horror that would haunt his mind and dreams for years and years to come.

It had been a tough night all around. He had heard of a fire that had broken out at the Hotel Denouement and was on his way there, but he had stopped by the Gorgonian Grotto. The Queequeg was due to surface and he had heard that his sister was going to board the sub. Lemony had gotten to the grotto sooner than expected and saw his sister waiting by the outer dry dock for the sub, he drove up and got out and greeted her. Seeing his older sister in good health had made him happier than he had thought possible, as he approached her he wrapped her in a tight hug.

When he heard her question it must have been obvious what he had to say, "Yes." Was the only thing he could quietly choke out. "I still cant believe hes gone..." He said after a moment and let go of his sister.

[unfortunatetheorist]

1000 likes from me!

I must admit, though a diehard Snicket fan for life, I have been liking posts from other fandoms, most recently Granada Television's adaptation of Sherlock Holmes, starring Jeremy Brett in the title role.

To celebrate, here's some extra special ASOUE-themed rizz lines 😏- enjoy, (or don't...).

I couldn't think of any jokes 🤣

There are some... naughty... ones (asterisked), hence the 'Mature' rating.

1. ASOUE can represent our future - 'u' and 'i' are together... in 'Baudelaire'!

2. You're the sugar bowl to my Esmé Squalor. (Ok, that one will only be understood by true Snicket fans)

3. Word of advice: don't commit a crime in the Village of Fowl Devotees; they'll burn you at the stake, but you're already really hot...

4*. I want to spread you like the Medusoid Mycelium in the Gorgonian Grotto...

5. I feel like the Baudelaires in The Ersatz Elevator - 'cause I fell (really hard) for you...

6. Ike Anwhistle must have lost the heat from his afterlife; 'cause it's standing right in front of me!

7*. I want to eat you up like a Lachrymose Leech...

Here's a ATWQ one:

8*. I want to swallow you whole the way The Bombinating Beast swallowed Armstrong Feint...

And, back to ASOUE:

9*. I want you wrapped around me like one of Uncle Monty's snakes...

10*. Why don't we get freaky like some Caligari Carnival employees?

Ok, that's it, no more out of me.

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist/Amateur Rizz-icist (?)

[aquariuminfobureau]

The most curious of the hawkfishes, Oxycirrhites

The longnose hawkfish (Oxycirrhites typus) is a distinctive member of the cirrhitid or hawkfish clade, and is widely distributed in the Indian and Pacific oceans, at warmer latitudes. This is, for many people, "the" hawkfish species that springs to mind, but it is actually an unusual outlying species among its clade, because only Oxycirrhites has the long jaws. The species grows to 13 centimeters, or slightly over 5 inches long, and perches among the large gorgonian and antipatharian colonies, that grow on the steep outer reef slopes, over 25 meters deep, where the current is strong. Like other hawkfishes, Oxycirrhites lacks a swim bladder, and sits on a substrate, waiting for passing items. This fish is territorial to its own species, and primarily consumes small arthropods. It has large eyes, and is adapted to life in low light conditions.

In the aquarium, Oxycirrhites may pose a danger to small, motile animals, such as "nano" gobies, molting hermit crabs, fan worms that have evacuated their tubes, and very small ornamental shrimp. However the jaws are gracile, and not constructed to struggle with proportionally large prey. Most ornamental reef species, will not fit in the narrow maw of Oxycirrhites, and it will not regard them as prey animals. Downsides arise from the typical, hawkfish perching habits of Oxycirrhites, as it may fall prey to stinging corals and anemones, or irritate a colony that it opts to perch upon regularly. Fortunately, when in the absence of such cnidarians in the aquarium, and in the presence of strong lighting, Oxycirrhites will instead roost in a grotto, or under an overhang. Oxycirrhites consumes finely chopped fresh seafood, defrosted aquarium fare, and sometimes even dried, proprietory preparations. This species is not a typical hawkfish in all ways, but it is a perfect example of that clade, in others. And its preference for only small prey mean that Oxycirrhites is, at least, the least problematic of the traded hawkfishes to care for, in a reef or fish-only marine aquarium.

[virtualfindingsdocumented]

Fiona’s mother. Was a mycologist like her. And worked with Gregor. We know how that ended.

[gabyvousaime]

Inktober Day 22

The Grim Grotto

I had this vivid image in my head from the first time I read the book in elementary school. I reread the it a couple years ago and I had the same image when I go to this part. I’ve been meaning to draw this for the longest time.

Inside the Gorgonian Grotto there is a little room lined with tiles. There is a little beach with a lot of washed up junk and other items. There is also 3 floor lamps that spell out vfd, but the last one is busted. Unfortunately, this is also where the Medusiod Mycelium, a dark grey fungus with purple spots, grows. This mushroom likes to grow in small dark places and if a spore gets into your system, it can block your airways and you die.

.

.

.

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Fiona Widdershins is not only an amazing and complex character but as a child, she [along with her brother, Fernald] taught me that morality is not black and white. Its grey.

People are chef's salads with good things and bad things mixed together with a vinaigrette of confusion.

She was volatile, she was morally ambiguous and although I dont agree with every thing she did, I see the reasons and understand them. She did more good than bad. She let the Baudelaires escape and she helped save Sunny from the Medusoid Mycelium, her giving the mycelium to Olaf and her abandoning the Baudelaires was to STAY with her brother, her only surviving family member.

So you may have your opinion on her but if you hate her for no reason...that just means you have a reason... and it's a reason that I am not going to stand for. If you catch my drift.

[vfd-candids]

Violet Baudelaire, on the shores of Briny Beach. With her field-glass, she spied for a submarine that never peeked from beneath the still waters, and remembered a time when a friend of hers sent a telegram to Queequeg, requesting that they meet at this particular beach.

Quite expectedly, picnicking at Briny Beach had very much lost its joy since her teenage years.

Dated five years after the first and last time she had the displeasure of being in the Gorgonian Grotto.

[snicketstrange]

Sugar Bowls theory

This is part 9 of the Strange Interpretation of Jean Lúcio from Brazil

To understand this text, it is necessary to read some my previous texts.

 Strange interpretation of Jean Lúcio about ASOUE — Lemony Snicket's Narration from a Culturally...

There are two sugar bowls that are being sought after by Lemony Snicket and his supporters.

In the letter in chapter 10 of TSS, Lemony wrote:

“I have at last learned the whereabouts of the evidence that will exonerate me, a phrase which here means "prove to the authorities that it is Count Olaf, and not me, who has started so many fires." Your suggestion, so many years ago at that picnic, that a tea set would be a handy place to hide anything important and small in the event of a dark day, has turned out to be correct.”

I believe there are already many theories evidencing that the contents of the sugar bowl is some kind of audio record. And I can say that I fully agree that the sugar bowl that Lemony was looking for many years after the main events certainly contained some kind of media that supports information, and that an audio record is most likely.

Besides, when Mr. Helquist was at Beatrice's house while the fire was being fought, he noticed that there was an incomplete set of tea among the wreckage.

Chapter 11 TUA - “I tried to site for a moment and draw some of the objects that lay in rubble - a glass bottle, portions of a grand piano, a few charred pieces of green wood, he remains of a tea set.”

Probably what was missing was exactly a sugar bowl. This was not the sugar bowl that belonged to Esmé. Beatrice stole from Esmé only the sugar bowl, not the whole tea set. Mr. Helquist probably saw the whole set of tea, except a sugar bowl.

When Lemony wrote the letter, he believed the record would show that it was Count Olaf who set off the fires. But of course, the record will show the truth, whatever it is. Whether it was Count Olaf or someone else, Lemony only found out when that record was available. In another text I will write what I believe that Lemony discovered when he listened to the recording. But now I must answer another question: What was in the sugar bowl that belonged to Esmé?

The Sugar Bowl that belonged to Esmé did not contain a recording. All the evidence indicates that the contents of this sugar bowl granted the person who carried the sugar bowl some kind of power. A power that could be used for evil.

Kit explained it in TPP chapter 2:

“The sugar bowl is on its way to the hotel even as we speak, and I'd hate to think what would happen if our enemies got ahold of it. I can't imagine anything worse, except perhaps if our enemies somehow got ahold of the Medusoid Mycelium."

 Secondly, the content of the sugar bowl is somewhat shameful for the "noble" side of VFD. It is something regarded as a secret. It is something as shameful as the fact that it was the "noble" side of VFD that grew the MM fungus.

But why is this shameful? Because it is a proof of the hypocrisy of the "noble" side of VFD. In the case of MM fungus, it is a great hypocrisy that an organization that preaches peace at the same time develops a biological weapon of mass destruction.

Windershins explained in TGG, chapter 4:

“that sonar detector is like our cave wall, showing us the shape of things much more powerful and terrifying." "… "I don't want you to understand, … That's why I haven't told you why the sugar bowl is so very crucial. There are secrets in this world too terrible for young people to know, even as those secrets get closer and closer.”

In fact, just knowing the contents of the sugar bowl can be dangerous for a young member of the noble party of VFD. Winddershins explained:

TGG chapter 6: "It's not the sugar bowl, it's what's inside it." Aye! I've already said too much!There are secrets in this world too terrible for young people to know! Just think – if you knew about the sugar bowl and you somehow fell into Count Olaf's clutches, there's no telling what he'd do! Aye!"

Probably, if a young man or woman discovered the sugar bowl and then fell into Count Olaf's clutches, this young man or woman could come to support Olaf because he would be convinced that the "noble" side of VFD is not at all noble. Older people would already understand how the world works, and so they could understand that sometimes noble people need to get their hands dirty for a greater good.

Now that we know there were two sugar bowls, we need to think, how did they both get to the hotel? One of the sugar bowls you should know has arrived by means of crows. This sugar bowl probably fell into the pond in front of the hotel when one of the crows was struck by a harpoon. This sugar bowl stayed in the secret library for many, many years until Lemony came to the hotel between the time he was writing TGG and TPP. But how did the Esmé sugar bowl come to the hotel? Where did this sugar bowl come from and where did it go?

The TSS book shows that the sugar bowl was in the VFD HQ. But two volunteers threw the sugar bowl out the window, and left a message about the object inside the refrigerator.

Who was the recipient of the message? JS. What is the content of the message?

"JS, there will be a gathering on Thursday. There is a message for you on the final quatrain of the eleventh stanza of" The Garden of Proserpine, "by Algernon Charles Swinburne." A piece of paper that contained the part of the poem lay nearby: "That no life lives forever; That dead men rise up never; That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea." On the same paper was written Sugar bowl.

Lemony explained what the last part of the poem meant:

"Eventually, however, it became clear that" the weariest river "refers to the Stricken Stream, which indeed seemed to carry away from the ashes from the destruction of VFD headquarters, and that" winds somewhere safe to sea "refers to the last safe place where all the volunteers, including Quigley Quagmire, could gather. "

Thus, the secret message indicated to JS that the sugar bowl had been launched in the Stricken Stream. And of course, anyone who knows the water cycle, would deduce that the sugar bowl would end up somewhere in the sea.

You must remember, that while Klaus was at Queequeg, he was able to calculate accurately that the sugar bowl went into the GG. That's where things get interesting. After Klaus passed the information to Windershins, Klaus, Violet, Sunny and Fiona slept. Several hours passed. (TGG chapter 5). Finally the submarine arrived at Gorgonian Grotto, but could not advance much inside the GG. Winddershinhs explained:

"the cave got narrower and narrower as we maneuvered further and further inside ... The entrance was the wide end of the cone,

but now it's too narrow for the submarine to travel. If we want to we will have to use something smaller ...

Periscope? "Sunny asked." No, "Captain Widdershins replied." A child. "

This means that a person of tall stature would not be able to walk in the narrowest part of GG. Winddershins was of tall stature, and so he could not go get the sugar bowl. He had to send the teens and sunny to get the sugar bowl. However, this group of young people searched for a long time and did not find the sugar bowl there in GG. Why not? There was one more person in GG that day. Notice what is written in TGG chapter 6:

"They had gazed upward and seen the sharp angles of various vertical flame diversions and other secret passageways Once again, she was led to the marine research center and rhetorical advice service, or even spotted the person who was using one of the passageways now, and probably for the last time, as she made her difficult and dark way toward the Queequeg. instead, all the children could see through their small circular windows was darkness. "

Thus, a person passed in the dark by the young group. They were going to GG. But this woman went down the secret tunnels that linked AA to GG. She certainly found the sugar bowl, and headed toward the Queequeg. She passed the Baudelaires and Fiona in the darkness and made her way to the Queequeg. This woman convinced Winddershins and Phill to leave Queequeg.

It was probably Windershins himself who sent the telegram to this woman, informing her that the sugar bowl was in GG. He must have kept this telegram while the children were asleep. The mysterious woman went down the secret tunnel, using this tunnel for the last time according to Lemony, and went to the submarine.

Lemony wrote the following in Chapter 13 of TGG:

“In the final analysis...Captain Widdershins was wrong about a great many things... He was wrong to abandon the Queequeg, no matter what He heard from the woman who came to fetch him.”

When the children returned from GG to Queequeg, the submarine had not been captured by Carmelita submarine. However, Phil and Widdershins had already disappeared.

Chapter 8 of TGG describes:

The Baudelaire orphans knew that something was wrong the moment they arrived at the submarine, knocked on the metal hatch, and heard no answer from the captain inside... After knocking for several minutes, the worried children had to open the hatch by themselves, a difficult task in the dark, and enter the passageway, quickly closing the hatch behind them... The Baudelaires looked around the room, but it seemed as empty and lonely as the grotto. Without the enormous presence of Captain Widdershins – "enormous presence" is a phrase which here means "large physical size, combined with a vibrant personality and loud voice" – the Main Hall seemed utterly deserted. Fiona took a step toward the door to the kitchen, but then stopped and looked at the wooden table. "Their helmets are gone," she said. "Both Phil and my stepfather were keeping their diving helmets on the table, in case of an emergency." She ran her hand along the table, as if she could make the helmets reappear. "They're gone," she said. "They've left the Queequeg."

The children began to wonder why Widdershins and Phil left the Queequeg. But what they should ask themselves is this: "Where were Winddershins and Phil gone?" Dear reader, let us reason together. We know that the Queequeg was at the bottom of the ocean. We know there were three people in the Queequeg: Winddershins, Phil, and a mysterious, short-stature woman. Winddershins did not go up to AA through secret tunnels because according to Lemony, the last time the tunnels were used was when the mysterious woman went down one of the tunnels and went to the GG and from there to the Queequeg. Besides, Windershins was too tall. They did not go to the Carmelita because this submarine had not yet captured the Quequeeg yet. They wore their wetsuits to leave the Queequeg. Did they decide to swim from the bottom of the ocean to the shore? That would not be possible. Even the Queequeg, which was a motorized submarine, took about a day or two for the Queequeg to reach the coast. And when the Queequeg got there, Kit said she was going to meet Winddershins who had already reached the coast.

My theory is this:

The contents of the sugar bowl that belonged to Esmé was a small musical instrument (probably a whistle) capable of controlling the Great Unknown. The short woman picked up the sugar bowl at GG, swam to the submarine, and persuaded Phil and Winddershins to leave the Queequeg in the mouth of the Great Unknown. (I believe the Great Unknown is a very large and very fast marine beast).

 You must remember that the Sinister Duet use whistles to control their eagles. This is evidence that many ferocious VFD-related animals can be controlled by sounds. You should also remember that the Sinister Duet uses the eagles as a means of transportation. Similarly, by means of a whistle, the Great Unknown can be controlled to transport people. Of course, it can also be invoked to kill people, and even destroy submarines. It is a kind of weapon. This fits perfectly with the fact that whoever owns the sugar bowl will have great power. And the ability to control well-trained fierce animals is one of the issues raised because of the VFD Great Schism. As the Sinister Duet said in TSS chapter 13:

"Look at these creatures!" cried the woman with hair but no beard. "When the schism occurred, you may have won the carrier crows, volunteers, and you may have won the trained reptiles... You may have the carrier crows, but we have the two most powerful mammals in the world to do our bidding – the lions and eagles!"

The more you think about this theory, the more it makes sense. For example, in TPP chapter 10, there is the scene of the mysterious taxi driver. Notice what Lemony wrote:

"I do know who the man was, and I do know where he went afterward, and I do know the name of the woman who was hiding in the trunk, and the type of musical instrument that was laid carefully in the back seat, and the ingredients of the sandwich tucked into the glove compartment, and even the small item that sat on the passenger seat, still damp from its hiding place."

The woman hiding in the trunk, must be the same mysterious Queequeg woman. The small item should be the sugar bowl that belonged to Esmé. This sugar bowl was taken to the hotel by this mysterious woman. And the musical instrument that was carefully placed on the back bench was the contents of the sugar bowl: a whistle, able to control The Great Unknown. (You can search, whistles are musical instruments).

There are more interesting evidences.

Winddershins made it appear that there was a connection between the sugar bowl and the Great Unknown in TGG, when GU first appeared on the radar. Recalling the words of him that I have already quoted in this text (TGG chap. 4):

"What was that third shape?" Violet asked. The captain shook his head again. "Something very bad," he said. "Even worse than Olaf, probably. I told you Baudelaires that there is evil you can not even imagine."

"We do not have to imagine it," Klaus said. "We saw it on the screen."

"That screen is nothing," the captain said. "It's just a piece of

equipment, aye? There was a philosopher who said that all of life is just shadows. He said that people were just sitting in the basement, watching shadows on the cave wall. Aye - shadows of something much bigger and grander than themselves. Well, that sonar detector is like our cave wall, showing us the shape of things much more powerful and terrifying. "

"I do not understand," Fiona said.

"I do not want you to understand," the captain said, putting his arm around her "That's why I have not told you why the sugar bowl is so crucial. There are secrets in this world too terrible for young people to know, even those secrets get closer and closer.

After that, at the end of TGG, after the Carmelita capture Queequeg, look what happened:

Chapter 13:

“The screen looked like a piece of graph paper, lit up in green light, and at the center were both a glowing letter Q, representing the Queequeg, and a glowing eye, representing the terrible octopus submarine that had devoured them. But at the top of the screen was another shape - one they had almost forgotten about. It was a long curved tube, with a small circle at the end of it, slithering slowly down the screen like a snake, or an enormous question mark, or some terrible evil the children could not even imagine.

"What's that cakesniffing shape?" asked Carmelita Spats. "It looks like a big comma."

"Shh!" Count Olaf hissed, putting his filthy hand over Carmelita's mouth. "Silence, everyone!"

"We have to get out of here," Esmé murmured. "This octopus is no match for that thing."

"You're right," Olaf muttered. "Esmé, go whip our rowers so they'll go faster! Hooky, store those uniforms! Triangle Eyes, take the orphans to the brig!"

"What about me?" Carmelita asked. "I'm the cutest, so I should get to something."

"I guess you'd better come with me," the count said wearily. "But no tap-dancing! We do not want to show up on their sonar!"

"Ta ta, cakesniffers!" Carmelita said, waving her pink wand at the three siblings.

"You're so stylish, darling," Esmé said. "It's like I always say: You can not be too rich or too in!"

The two wicked females jumped through the broken porthole and out of the Queequeg, followed by the hook-handed man, who gave the Baudelaires an awkward wave.”

 According to my theory, the GU was around this point because Beatrice, Bill and Windershins had invoked T GU using the musical instrument (probably a whistle).

Olaf refers to the sonar that would be used by "them." This sonar should be a bio sonar, used by some animals for echolocation. Olaf uses the plural "their," because Olaf knows there is more than one animal that has the same shape. Although only one of them, I think, is trained by Lemony and his associates (Or Hangfire many years before).

It is interesting that Olaf and Esmé know that The GU has the ability to listen to low amplitude sounds. Some marine animals like dolphins and whales have bio sonar. Such animals need a good ear. In addition, the name given to the animal was probably Bombinating Beast. This means that the animal makes a sound while hunting. This sound can be used for echolocation

 You must remember the scene where Kit comes to the beach. She told what happened:

TE chapter 13:

"We made a desperate attempt to repair the Queequeg and reach the Quagmires as their aerial battle continued, and arrived just in time to see the balloons of the self-sustaining hot air mobile home pop under the cruel beaks of the escaping eagles. They tumbled down to the surface of the sea, and crashed into the Queequeg. In moments we were all castaways, treading water in the midst of all the items that survived the wreck."... "What happened next?" "I don't know," Kit admitted. "From the depths of the sea a mysterious figute approached–almost like a question mark, rising out of the water." "We saw that on a radar screen," Violet remembered. "Captain Widdershins refused to tell us what it was."My brother used to call it 'The Great Unknown,... I was terrified, Baudelaires. Quickly I fashioned a Vaporetto of Favorite Detritus, as I'd been trained to do." ... I gathered all the books in reach that I enjoyed, tossing the boring ones into the sea, but everyone else wanted to take their chances with the great unknown. I begged the others to climb aboard as the question mark approached, but only Ink managed to reach me. The others ... " Her voice trailed off, and for a moment Kit did nothing but wheeze. "In an instant they were gone–either swallowed up or rescued by that mysterious thing." "You don't know what happened to them?" Klaus asked. Kit shook her head. "All I heard," she said, "was one of the Quagmires calling Violet's name." Sunny looked into the face of the distraught woman. "Quigley," the youngest Baudelaire could not help asking "or Duncan?" "I don't know," Kit said again.

Kit saw the Great Unknown, and she knew exactly what the Great Unknown was. Why did Kit wonder whether the others had been killed or not by the GU? Her doubt was whether the sugar bowl was in the hands of noble people or cruel people. Or if the GU was acting on his own, without any control. If the sugar bowl was not in the hands of noble people, death was certain. Why did Winddershins, who had shown fear in TGG of GU, now preferred to go to the GU despite Kit's insistence on him and the others fleeing? Winddershins knew that the ferocious beast was being controlled through the contents of the sugar bowl. He knew that the mysterious woman was inside the beast's mouth, and that the beast was there to save them.

Why did one of the Quaqmires shout out the name "Violet" when he was about to enter the GU? For when the beast opened its mouth, he saw a woman in the beast's mouth. A woman of short stature. A woman whose physical appearance was similar to Violet. So he found it very strange, and said "Violet?" But it was not Violet. She was just a woman very much like her ...

Beatrice

[afterthegreatunknown]

that one scene in chapter six of the grim grotto where widdershins starts to sends fiona and the baudelaires into the gorgonian grotto to get the sugar bowl, after so many re-reads, has me thinking of the layers that highlights his poor parenting and poor unofficial guardianship skills.

one of the first things widdershins says in that scene is that he wishes he could go himself. at first glance, the assumption is he wishes to do the mission himself because he’s an experience (adult) volunteer. but knowing the reveal that he was there when anwhistle aquatic burned, it’s a line that has a second meaning to it. yes, he wishes to go himself because he’s an experience (adult) volunteer. but widdershins also wishes he could go himself because of his past experience of going through the danger before, back when...

actually, how did widdershins got into the grotto the first time around? was fernald involvement initially to work the now currently rusted pumping system mentioned in chapter six to drain it to where widdershins could fit in? oh, i like that. incorporating that into my headcanon now. anyway...

so widdershins wishes he could go into the grotto himself. then he talks to the baudelaires and fiona.

to the baudelaires, he tells them, “it’s not too late to draw straws!”, and how “you don’t all have to go together!” widdershins is trying, very poorly, to not send them in. and he’s doing it all wrong, because he just gave a very odd as well as insensitive suggestion (like hello? drawing straws? the hell you’re on, man!). he’s implying in his suggestion, “this mission is very dangerous, and i have no idea which one of you should do it, and which of the other two stay safe in the submarine.”

of course, the baudelaires are insistence that the three all go together. and widdershins gives in due to fiona pointing out violet’s mechanical expertise, klaus’ knowledge of the tidal chart, and sunny’s size are all useful in the grotto (and like, violet could in theory fix the pumping system with her skills, but because it’s rusted, i think it’s beyond fixing).

then we have widdershins’ moment with fiona. after so many re-reads of the grim grotto in the past, i come to the conclusion this moment with fiona is the closest to where widdershins could be consider hesitating, at least in my opinion. widdershins, pretty much giving up on the baudelaires going into the grotto, tells fiona:

“what about you, fiona?” [..] “aye! you could stay here with me!”

unlike his talk with the baudelaires, widdershins first asked fiona of her opinion on the matter. then he makes the suggestion to her, subtly of all things, that it’s best to stay in the submarine. considering the past with fernald, i take it that widdershins is trying to avoid something of a repeat with his stepson, by preventing fiona from going into the grotto. his past with the grotto and fernald has widdershins thinking something important over with his stepdaughter.

keep in mind widdershins had just given into the idea of sending all three baudelaires into the grotto. that means widdershins is, after some quick thinking over, is fine with the idea of fiona staying safe in the submarine with him and phil, while they all potentially sacrifice the baudelaires to the possible danger still lurking around.

widdershins and his attempt to stop fiona, while not on the same level with the baudelaires, is still very poor of an attempt. widdershins’ suggestion to fiona, when comparing to the baudelaires, is him trying to say, “i am not comfortable with you going into the grotto. fiona, please stay in the queequeg where it’s safe, and allow someone else to do it instead.” and said someone else is in fact, three people of her age (give or take a few years and in sunny’s case, sixteen years because sunny is an infant).

fiona quickly points out her mycology knowledge is also useful. and so widdershins gives in again, telling them the danger of the grotto is now worth it because they can a citation for bravery.

widdershins in this scene shows how he prioritize vfd’s needs over fiona’s needs and the baudelaire’s needs. he’s putting importance and care for something that doesn’t deserve much, over something that deserves so much importance and care. the man is willing to send in two teenagers, a teen that is still technically a child (because klaus did like, turn 13 several days ago) and a baby- into a life or death place, all for the sake of vfd.

widdershins also show, very poorly and at times insensitively, he is worry over fiona and the baudelaires regarding the decision to send them into the grotto. widdershins is not okay with it, especially initially and towards fiona. widdershins does the failure of not flat out saying his concerns and worries, going the route of suggestions, before stopping all together.

like i said at beginning. layers.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Six Baudelaires AU, Part Three {AO3} {Masterlist} {Part One} {Part Two}

Chapter Fifteen → in which Lilac and Fiona are Gay as Hell

It wasn’t until after they finished their chowder, and Phil left to clean the dishes, that Klaus asked, “Captain Widdershins? VFD stands for Volunteer Fire Department, right?” 

“Aye!” 

“Then why are you underwater?” 

Nick, who was helping Fiona and Solitude clean up the tidal charts, said, “Because they’re not a literal fire department, more of a figurative one.” 

“Aye!” Widdershins nodded, not noticing Nick’s disdainful tone. “I’m told it started that way, but the volunteers were interested in every such thing! I was one of the first to sign up for Voluntary Fish Domestication. That was one of the missions of Anwhistle Aquatics. Aye! I spent four long years training salmon to swim upstream and search for forest fires. That was when you were very young, Fiona, but your brother worked right alongside me. You should have seen him sneaking extra worms to his favorites! Aye! The program was a modest success! Aye! But then Cafe Salmonella came along, and took our entire fleet away. The Snicket siblings fought as best they could! But as the poet wrote, ‘too many waiters turn out to be traitors.’” 

“I am so lost.” Violet admitted. 

“The Snicket siblings?” Klaus asked. “Like Jacques?” 

“Aye! Jacques was once a member of our crew! He-” 

“We think we found a message directed to him.” Lilac said. “That’s how we found out there was a gathering, it was Verbal Fridge Dialogue, addressed to JS.” 

“That’s impossible! Aye!” Widdershins waved his hand. “Jacques Snicket is dead! Aye! Nobody would address a message to a dead person!” 

“Perhaps the sender didn’t know.” Violet said. 

“Or perhaps it was some other JS.” Solitude said. 

“Speaking of mysterious initials,” Klaus said, “I wonder what GG stands for. If we knew what the cave was called, we might have a better idea of our journey.” 

“Aye!” Captain Widdershins said. “Let’s guess!” 

“Aye, let’s not.” Nick said. 

Fiona frowned as she pushed the tidal charts into a drawer. “Wait a minute.” she said. “I may have an idea.” 

“Really?” Lilac asked, watching her as she ran to a cabinet. 

“I just remembered a recent addition to my mycological library.” Fiona said, opening a door and pulling out a book. “This might be useful.” 

The captain sighed. “You and your mushrooms and molds!” 

“Let her speak.” Lilac snapped, shooting him a glare. “She has an idea.” 

“It was in the table of contents.” Fiona said, bringing the book back over to the table, as the Baudelaires peered over her shoulder. “Chapter Thirty-Six, The Yeast of Beasts. Chapter Thirty-Seven, Morel Behavior in a Free Society. Chapter Thirty-Eight, Fungible Mold, Moldable Fungi. Chapter Thirty-Nine, Visitable Fungal Ditches. Chapter Forty, The Gorgonian Grotto- there!” 

“Grotto?” Sunny asked. 

“Another word for cave.” Violet said. 

Fiona flipped to Chapter Forty, and then read aloud, “The Gorgonian Grotto, located in propinquity to Anwhistle Aquatics, has appropriately wraithlike nomenclature, with roots in Grecian mythology, as this conical cavern is fecund with what if perhaps the bugaboo of the entire mycological pantheon.” 

“Aye! I told you that book was too difficult!” Captain Widdershins said. “A young child can’t unlock that sort of vocabulary!” 

“Piss off, we can get it.” Nick hissed. 

“Aye! Watch your language!” 

“Aye! I don’t give a fuck!” 

Klaus sighed and pushed Nick back so he could get a better look at the book. “It says the Gorgonian Grotto is named after something in Greek mythology.” 

“Gorgon!” Solitude said excitedly, shaking her head as if she still had snakes woven into it. “It’s named after Medusa!” 

“That sounds right.” Nick said. 

“She was a legendary monster who could turn people into stone.” Fiona mentioned. 

“Aye! I think I went to school with such a woman!” the captain said. 

“Snakes!” Solitude said excitedly. 

“The book is saying,” Lilac said, “That it’s appropriate that the grotto is named after a legendary monster, becauses there’s a sort of monster living in a cave- a bugaboo.” 

“Bugaboo?” Sunny asked. 

“A bugaboo can be any kind of monster.” Klaus said. “We could call Count Olaf a bugaboo, if we felt so inclined.” 

Nick stared very hard at the floor. “I’d rather not speak of him at all.” 

“This bugaboo is a fungus of some sort.” Fiona said, and she continued reading. “The Medusoid Mycelium has a unique conducive strategy of waxing and waning: first a brief dormant cycle, in which the mycelium is nearly invisible, and then a precipitated flowering into speckled stalks and caps of such intense venom that it is fortunate the grotto serves as a quarantine.” 

“Translation, please.” Solitude said, turning to Klaus. 

Before Klaus could say anything, though, Fiona spoke up. “It’s rather simple, really. There are three main parts to a mushroom. You can see the cap and the stalk, but the part you can’t see is the mycelium. It’s like a bunch of thread, branching out underneath the ground. Some mushrooms have mycelia that go on for miles.” 

Lilac sat on the table, eyes wide. “I remember reading a little about that at Prufrock, when we were studying the fungus in our shack.” 

“I’d love to hear about that, when we have time.” Fiona smiled. “But it says here that the Medusoid Mycelium waxes and wanes, which means the caps and stalks spring up from the mycelium, and then wither away, and then spring up again. So you don’t know the mushrooms are there until they poke up from the ground.” 

“That sounds unnerving.” Violet said, as Klaus pulled out his commonplace book to write this down. 

“Oh, it gets worse.” Fiona said, not sounding very bothered at all; she was too excited about her fungus. “The mushrooms are exceedingly poisonous. Listen to this: ‘As the poet says, “A single spore has such grim power / That you may die within the hour.”’ A spore is like a seed- if it has a place to grow, it will become another mycelium. But if someone eats it or breaths it in, it could cause death.” 

“Within the hour.” Lilac repeated. 

“Monev,” Sunny said, which meant, “That’s a fast-acting poison.” 

“Must fungal poisons have cures,” Fiona said, “And the poison of a deadly fungus can be the source of some wonderful medicines. I’ve been working on a few myself, actually. But this book says it’s lucky the grotto acts as a quarantine.” 

“Quarwa?” Sunny asked. 

“Quarantine is when something dangerous is isolated, so the danger cannot spread.” Nick explained to her, also sitting on the table. 

“Because the Medusoid Mycelium is in uncharted waters, very few people have been poisoned.” Violet said. 

“If someone brought even one spore to dry land,” Lilac shivered, “Who knows what would happen?” 

“We won’t find out!” Widdershins said. “We’re not going to take any spores! Aye! We’re just going to grab the Sugar Bowl and be on our way! Aye! I’ll set a course right now!” 

“Are you sure?” Fiona asked, shutting the book. “It sounds very dangerous.” 

“Dangerous? Aye! Dangerous and scary!” the captain said, already climbing the rope ladder to the controls of the submarine. “Scary and Difficult! Aye! Difficult and mysterious! Aye! Mysterious and uncomfortable! Aye! Uncomfortable and risky! Aye! Risky and noble! Aye!” 

“I’m going to take Solitude back to our room,” Nick muttered, picking up the toddler, “Where we don’t have to listen to him. Anyone else wanna go?” 

“Even if it could hurt us, aye! The amount of treachery in this world is enormous! Aye! Think of the crafts we saw on the sonar screen! There’s always something more enormous and terrifying on our tails!” 

“I’ll take Sunny.” Violet said. 

“And so many of the noble submarines are gone! Aye! You think the Herman Melville suits were the only noble uniforms in the world? There used to be volunteers with PG Wodehouse and Carl Van Vechten! There were Comyns and Cleary and Archy and Mehitabel! But now volunteers are scarce! So the best we can do is one small noble thing!” 

“We should really get some sleep.” Klaus agreed, shutting his commonplace book. “Before the grotto.” 

“Like retrieving the Sugar Bowl! Aye! Remember my personal philosophy! He who hesitates is lost!” 

“Or she!” Fiona said. 

“Or they!” Solitude added. 

“Lilac, you coming?” Violet asked, as she lifted up Sunny from the table. 

Lilac hesitated. “Um, Fiona, I’d… like to see your fungal experiments. If that’s alright. Maybe I can help.” 

Fiona smiled. “Maybe. I could use a mechanic.” 

The Baudelaires all shared a very excited look, and when Fiona turned her back, Lilac gave them a glare and a middle finger. 

“You all get some sleep. I’ll meet you in the dorms.” she said. 

“You have all this in your room?” Lilac asked, spinning around the room to take it all in. 

“Well, technically I sleep in the dorms, because I converted that bed into a table, and used the strips of the mattress to make some wall art.” Fiona said nervously. 

Inside the small room- barely larger than the closet, Lilac noted- several tanks had been set up, as well as multiple other containment boxes. A large table, that had been crudely fashioned from the bed, sat in the middle, holding some of the tanks, as well as a flow hood, several tools, blocks and jars, and scattered mycological books. 

“I know I should have a better table, but it’s the best I can get.” Fiona said. “Stepfather won’t buy me mycological equipment, so I have to get it all myself. My mother told me to just throw bricks through shop windows and steal what I need, but I’m not near those a lot, so improv it is.” 

“It’s very impressive.” Lilac whispered, kneeling down to look over several petri dishes. “Are you growing some in here?” 

“Yes. But I’ve got some in the plant terrariums, too.” Fiona said, gesturing to the tanks that she’d managed to attach to the walls. “A bit difficult to make sure they stay upright in such an old submarine, but that just makes it a challenge, and challenges are fun.” 

“Which one’s this?” Lilac asked, moving to a tank. “Are those wood chips?” 

“Yes. Those are my Stropharia Rugosoannulata mushrooms.” Fiona walked over, gesturing proudly. “They’re good at bioremediation, I hope to start setting them out in polluted waterways after the meeting on Thursday, once I get the okay from some other volunteers.” 

“Stropharia Rugosoannulata.” Lilac repeated slowly. 

“I mean, you could call them King stropharia. I just like the scientific names. They’re fun to say.” 

“Oh, that’s completely valid.” Lilac smiled. “I learned Russian when I was younger just because the boys read Anna Karenina and all the names were fun to say.” 

“You speak Russian?” 

“I mean, I’m not fluent-” 

“That’s still impressive. All I’ve got is Latin, Māori and Urdu.” 

“I know more Italian. Mom taught me a lot, because operas are usually Italian.” 

“Your Mother was an Opera singer?” 

“An actress.” Lilac paused. “What about your Mom? What did she do?” 

“She helped on the submarine.” Fiona’s face fell slightly, and she moved over to a group of mushroom grow bags. “Um, I don’t remember much about her. She died when I was five or six, and Stepfather doesn’t tell me much about her.” 

Lilac flinched. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-” 

“It’s alright. My brother was a poet.” Fiona smiled. “At least, that’s what I remember from him. He disappeared around the same time as my Mother… but he was around much more, because he didn’t have to do as much Volunteer work. His job was watching me. He taught me how to play cards.” 

“Our parents were Volunteers, too.” Lilac muttered. 

“I know.” 

“But we didn’t.” Lilac sighed. “We didn’t know anything about VFD.” 

Fiona blinked. “Really? I’ve been raised completely in VFD, I just assumed that’s how all Volunteers recruited their kids.” Lilac shook her head, and then Fiona carefully asked, “What did your brother mean? About… recruitment?” 

“I don’t… know. Nick learned a lot of things while he was captured, but when he tries to say them… it doesn’t always work out.” Lilac glanced at her. “But he, um, doesn’t have a great opinion of VFD.” 

Fiona bit her lip. “Well. Maybe we can discuss that when we get the Sugar Bowl. I’m not sure we have enough diving suits, but maybe he’ll want to go.” 

“Do you know how small the cave is?” 

“Afraid not.” 

“He’s not too good with small spaces.” 

“Then hopefully we get to the last safe place fast.” Fiona said. “This submarine seems smaller the longer you’re here. And I hope the last safe place is big.” 

“Well, it’s a hotel.” Lilac said. “That’s gotta be big.” 

Fiona stared at her. 

“Oh. You didn’t know that.” 

“My… Stepfather said that I didn’t need to know. That all I needed to know was what VFD needed from me.” 

“That’s a horrible way to live.” Lilac said. “If all we knew was what we were told, we’d never know what was right or wrong for ourselves.” 

“I don’t really have a choice. He’s my guardian, and VFD left him in charge of me.” 

“Count Olaf was our guardian.” Lilac glared down at a tank of wood logs and Hericium Erinaceus. “And we fought back. We’re still fighting, and we’ll never stop until he’s…” she took a deep breath. “Until he can’t hurt us anymore.” 

“I wish I was as brave as you. You must be fearless to go through all of what you have and still be sane.” 

“We’re not fearless. I’m definitely not. But I’m…” Lilac struggled to find the words. “Hopeful. That one day everything will set itself right, or at least right enough we can find a place for ourselves.” She smiled. “No matter what… there’s always something.” 

Fiona beamed at her, and then she said, “Listen, if you… if you don’t want to listen to me blabber on about fungi, I think we have some stuff that you could repair if you-” 

“No! No, I want to hear it. I like…” Lilac paused. “I like hearing you talk about mushrooms. You get really passionate about it.” 

“Passionate.” Fiona repeated. “Well, maybe you can tell me about your inventions or repairs afterwards.” 

“Maybe I can fix that table up.” Lilac said, pulling her ribbon from her pocket and starting to tie back her hair. “What’s that over there?” 

“Lentinula Edodes.” Fiona said, smiling at some fungus growing on a hardwood log. “Also known as Shiitake Mushrooms.” 

“Shiitake?” 

“Don’t start.” Fiona giggled. 

“Don’t tell Violet and Nick what they’re called, or you’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“Noted.” 

They gave each other a look, and then burst out laughing. 

Lilac and Fiona returned to the dorms very late, arms linked together as they chatted about a book they’d both enjoyed, about another sugar bowl whose contents were actually very well known. When they swung open the door, though, they quieted, and Lilac let out a soft gasp as she saw her siblings. 

Violet and Klaus were sleeping on individual bunks, and Klaus had a book about different currents open on the pillow beside him. Solitude and Sunny had fallen asleep beside each other, curled under a single blanket, while Babbitt slept on a pillow, kicking their legs in their sleep. Nick, meanwhile, was passed out on a chair near the door, almost having fallen over; Lilac recognized this position quickly, from the many times he and Klaus or Violet would sit at the bottom of the stairs waiting for their parents to come home late at night. 

“He was waiting for us.” Lilac whispered to Fiona, who smiled. Lilac slowly let go of Fiona’s arm and walked over, carefully lifting up her brother. She was having a bit of difficulty; shit, he was taller than her now. When did he and Klaus get so big? 

She carried him to a bunk, lowering him onto it. “Go back to being five years old, okay?” Lilac whispered, reaching over to grab a blanket. “We’ll lock you in the closet again and then make ice cream towers.” 

Fiona giggled a little, as she climbed up to her top bunk, watching with a very soft gaze. Lilac turned around, and flinched as she saw Nick starting to move. 

“No, no,” she moved back to him, running a hand over his hair. “Go back to sleep. You need it.” 

“Nu-uh.” he muttered, but Lilac could tell that in his few seconds of conscious, he’d already started to fall asleep again. 

Lilac sighed and pulled the blanket over him. “You’ll be okay. You want me to sing?” 

“Mm.” 

“I’m not sure if that was a yes or a no.” Lilac laughed. “Just… go back to bed.” 

Nick mumbled again. “Thanks, Mom.” 

He was passed out again before Lilac could process what he’d said. She stared at him, her face paling. Fiona peered over the bunk, astonished to see tears start to form in her eyes. “Lilac?” 

She stepped back, putting a hand over her face. Fiona leaned over the bunk until the eldest Baudelaire looked up at her, and then she said, “Are… I’m sorry, is this a happy or sad cry?” 

Lilac opened her mouth to answer, but stopped. Like she herself wasn’t sure. 

“Good or bad cry?” 

Lilac shut her eyes. “Both.” she admitted. 

“Both.” Fiona repeated, and then she reached out her hand to wipe Lilac’s tears away. “Aye.” 

[asoue-sideblog]

I guess we can conclusively state that, at the very least, Lemony came out of VFD training as a very good (albeit idiosyncratic) writer. But we don’t know if that’s because of VFD or not, or in spite of VFD or not.

In support of the latter: Advanced Ocular Science by Georgina Orwell:

Hypnosis is an efficacious yet precarious methodology and should not be assayed by neophytes

Mushroom Minutiae (a VFD book, judging by its contents, especially the chapter titled Visitable Fungal Ditches):

The Gorgonian Grotto, located in propinquity to Anwhistle Aquatics, has appropriately wraithlike nomenclature, with roots in Grecian mythology, as this conical cavern is fecund with what is perhaps the bugaboo of the entire mycological pantheon.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (island journal version), the section authored by Bertrand Baudelaire:

We’re attempting a botanical hybrid through the tuberous canopy, which should bring safety to fruition despite its dangers to our associates in utero.

Who writes like this? Good grief. They’re all horrible. Is this typical for VFD authors? Or maybe there’s a particular educator in charge of science writing at the VFD school who should be taken out back and shot? Beatrice I doesn’t seem to write like this in her sections of the island journal. (Edit: and Kit doesn’t write like this in her letter to Gregor.)

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

The Quagmire-Baudelaire switch part 11

The grim grotto

The Quagmires get greeted by a submarine

And hears a man ask for the password

”VFD?” ”The world is quiet here?” ”Quagmires?”

The submarine opens and they climb in

So they are instantly greeted by a weird smiling man

It’s captain widdershins! And he talks like this! Everyone hates him but I enjoyed how he talked like this! Aye aye! I was a weird kid! But I found him more funny than annoying! Forgive me!

He introduces them to his stepdaughter Fiona

And all three of the triplet’s minds had a lowkey panic because WOW Fiona was in good shape

And that tight suit too...

And the first thing she says is literally ”shiver me timbers” in a kind of flirting way

And then comes Phil!

Phil does not do much more rather than smile and be optimistic :)

Anyway Fiona gives them a short tour and then gives them uniforms

Isadora almost starts posing in her uniforms because it feels like her you know? Maybe she’s found her style

Then they have dinner and Phil actually begs them for help because he can’t do much more than get gum

So the triplets teamwork to make some potato and garlic soup

Which became delicious

Captiain Widdershins is like ”You are so great at cooking! I should have let you come here a long time ago! Maybe adopt you! But let’s not rush! Maybe Duncan can marry Fiona! Just joking! But he who hesitates is lost!”

Duncan justs stands there in panic because he doesn’t know how to cope with someone suggesting he should marry someone he has known for an hour

And Fiona just corrects Widdershins, ”and she”.

Then they go to bed

The next day, everyone researchers pretty much all day

The Widdershins explain that they are on a mission for VFD to retrive the sugar bowl

Fiona also explains later that she is a mycologist

Which makes Isadora instantly come up with a poem to impress her

”Every human even with one eye, will spot and seek for fungi”

She then hides her face because she felt it was bad but Fiona just giggles

Then they find the gorgonian grotto

And all the children head off

They search the grotto but just finds the medysoid mycelium

When they are back they realise neither Widdershins or Phil is seen anywhere

Then they hear a clunck! And down comes a hee hee ha ha

Olaf and Esme walk around the sub and makes these weird giggle noises

Carmelita finds the triplets in hiding the storage room, which makes all three of them make an internal facepalm because she of all people found them

They get lead to the octupus submarine and witnesses all the snow scouts rowing for their lives

Anyway Quigley had trouble talking off his helmet so it’s still on

This is when he realises there’s green spots on it

Isadora and Duncan freak out

The hook handed man sees this and after a long discussion he agrees to let them atleast escape to save Quigley

Quigley is very confused since the hookhand man never cared before??

Anyway they scream to all the snow scouts to run, which causes chaos

Also Carmelita is as mad as you can be because someone ruined her recidal

They meet up with Fiona at the Queequeg

And all of them just resarches about any cure

Quigley just coughs and tells them to hurry

He then just mumbles ”try... substitutions” which was something he remembers from the night before when they had to use white garlic instead of red

They feed him wasabi and he instantly feels better

But they force him to go and rest, much to his dismay because he wants to help

So the hook handed man comes and Fiona hugs him ”Fernald!! <3”

Isadora and Duncan are hella confused

Fernald explains the situations but they are still not happy because of that

Then Olaf comes and yells at them for not being in the brig

Fiona distracts him with the medysoid mycelium in Quigley’s helmet

So he gets happy and almost goes up

Before telling her to bring the Quagmires too

This is when Fiona lets them escape

Duncan and Isadora feel a little betrayed but understands her

Fiona kisses both of them. She tells them to close their eyes

”Duncan, I am sure some things here will be useful for your journalism”

”Isadora, I know you are full of emotions and thoughts. Maybe this can help you a little.”

She leaves with a last ”aye aye” and climbs up

Duncan and Isadora start to cry while Quigley wakes up and wonder what the heck happened

”I have never in my life needed to write down things in my notebook as much as now” Duncan sniffs

”I have known all along and now I just got it confirmed” Isadora says, which just confuses the hell out of her brothers

But they have a faith idea what she could be reffering to?

Anyway the great unknown has found them so they need to dash Queepeg out of there

Eventually they find themselves on Briny Beach where mr Poe finds them

He wonders where in the world they have been and begs them to follow him

”No.” Duncan says.

Then a taxi comes

”Don’t argue with me.” Poe argues

The taxi driver is a woman who says she’s looking for the Quagmires

”Leave us alone!” Quigley yells at mr Poe

”Are you going to get into the taxi?” the woman asks and the triplets nod

”You can’t jump into a strangers taxi!” Mr Poe says desperately

”Fuck you, Mr Poe.” Isadora yells as a last word. ”I wish you nothing but sorrows and woes”

Ok I kind of forgot to mention the telegram part so now Kit just appears ready to retrieve the Quagmires. Which also could work. As always, hope you liked it

[virtualfindingsdocumented]

The long waited Ultimate Fix It AU

(I talked a lot about it and promised a few times to post the outline but I was super anxious - to bw honest I still am - so I postponed it again and again.

Back when I first thought of this, I hadn’t seen anything starting with this concept. In asoue fix-its there is always one guardian surviving and making things right, but I never saw these guardians surviving with the exception of the “Beatrice lived” theory which I dislike a lot. I was inspired by the exact things that bother me in the theory and also by the rp I’m in, in which they did survive but it somehow made things worse. I wanted it to be a AU where things get better, but I didn’t want to abandon canon too and make a “happily ever after” scenario without justifying it. The end result is, well... if you are looking for stories in which Good triumphs against Evil, you are in the wrong place.

Ever since I started this idea, I started seeing other people exploring the possibilities of their survival, which is amazing! It gave me some anxiety too because I am most comfortable writing stuff no one else thought of before, but each person has an unique voice and ideas and so I hope my story still has something new and unique to it. Anyway shoutout to unfortunate-stranger-losers who has an amazing Bertrand Lives AU and snicketstrange who has a theory (not fic) about Beatrice Surviving so twisted and tragic and in my humble opinion much better than the previous possibilities I had seen; also DrowningRedInk on ffnet who has a very cool fic dealing with a survivor which stuck to my head like crazy, and last but not least a big shoutout to the players present and past of the Baudelaire family in the dumpster fire rp, because even though this interpretation of the characters has little to do with theirs, this wouldn’t exist without them.)

The Ultimate Fix-It AU

Everything is the same until V, K and Q arrive in the headquarters. V and K start calling for their parents, and after a moment of dramatic silence, two figures in masks and heavy coats come from the shadows.

It’s their parents. There is a moment of happy reunion and teary hugs, no one asking questions. V and K tell them about Sunny. B and B assure them that they will find a way to rescue her.

Quigley takes off his mask and introduces himself, asks if B and B know about his siblings. One of the Bs remarks on how much he looks like their parents. They don’t know about I and D, but V and K do.

V and K ask their parents how they survived and they vaguely mention a friend who is gonna meet with them soon (L). They also ask why they didn’t go after them, but before B and B can answer, there is green smoke in the sky.

They guess it’s worth it to have a look. Violet and Beatrice think together of the forks, but when it’s time to go B and B insist the children stay because it is too dangerous. V and K are scared of being away from their parents again, as if they would disappear forever, but they end up staying with Quigley.

Quigley says their parents are cool, V and K agree but inside they have their doubts because everything is happening too fast and they feel their parents are hiding something, and they can’t help but still feel bad that they let all those bad things happen.

B and B have a moment as they rest during the climb to talk about how proud they are of their children, then get to the top and find Sunny. They overhear the villains talking, villains they know well, and somehow figure their plan. They convince Sunny to go with them since they know about the last sanctuary. Happy reunion time.

Bertrand wants to prevent the villains from kidnapping the snow scouts, while Beatrice just wants to get away from them. They don’t get to an agreement. The group goes after a cavern to spend the night and Beatrice sends a bat with a message to L with updates.

L arrives the next morning, apologizes for being late as his vehicle was stolen. He is on Beatrice’s side. Bertrand doesn’t like it. L talks to Quigley and says his sister is trying to contact Hector. They end up not interfering with the villains’ plans but decide to warn other volunteers so they can rescue the children.

The group follows the river so they can meet with K. L wants to then go to the last sanctuary but B and B don’t like the idea. The children don’t know what to think. B and B are also not over their fight. Beatrice and L take a walk alone while B makes food or something. Violet goes after her mother and sees she venting to L, and then kissing him. She gets shocked and runs out, then finds her father with the intention of telling him. B shows no big reaction to the information, which makes V think for a moment that her parents “divorced”. But then B explains about how he first started dating B she was already with L and that she would have married him if he had not “died”, and the three love each other a lot, and V gets it.

B tells B and L about the talk with V and they decide to come out to the rest of the children. V realizes that her parents were injured in the fire, and they confirm it when she asks. They finally reveal the extention of their injuries, which was what prevented them from going after their children before. L rescued them and took them to the already abandoned headquarters so they could recover in safety.

The group meets with Kit near the sea. Kit and Quigley leave to try to contact Hector, but before they go Lemony has a talk with Kit in which he says that he will be right there in case anything goes wrong. Kit also want the Baudelaires to go to the meeting in the last safe place.

B and B tell their children what is supposed to happen at the Hotel and how they are afraid of things going wrong there. After a lot of arguing they decide not to go. They take Kit’s taxi to go somewhere else, while L goes to the Hotel so he can finish his part of the plan. [The End]

[Epilogue of sorts]Kit manages to send a telegram or message to the sub about the plan for the sugar bowl, which results on them never going to the Gorgonian Grotto nor taking the Mycelium. They also escape from Olaf with success.

The trial at the Hotel fails, but with someone who knows more of what is going on than the Baudelaire children dealing with the stuff, Carmelita never gets the harpoon gun. Dewey doesn’t die. Without the sugar bowl or the Mycelium, Olaf has no advantages and ends up running away from there.

Kit and Quigley get into Hector’s balloon but it ends up falling. Down in the sea Widdershins waited to rescue them but the crash happens. Except Kit understood what Lemony tried to tell her, so when the Great Unknown shows up she knows it’s safe.

As they get back to the City, either Kit or Lemony end up revealing to Fiona that her brother is alive. She has a big fight with her stepfather and decide to continue on her own and look after him.

The Quagmires, reunited and safe, are adopted by Kit and Dewey and have access to a great archive of news, poetry and maps in his library.

[True ending] The Baudelaire family is living in some distant city under fake names, following from afar the news of the trial. Lemony meets up with them. The six run away together.

[katana-no-neko]

Why the hell did they take Captain Widdershins out

The book was able to give more emphasis to Fiona’s love of science and mycology but it was hardly a thing in the show because she was too busy being a captain.

Like, what was the point? The book was immensely better. Fiona had to come up to the surface after the Gorgonian Grotto expedition and find out that her stepfather had disappeared and there was that emotional moment where she had to deal with the fact that that probably made her the captain now and that she didn’t want to do that.

Violet was ridiculously untrusting and vicious to Fiona in the show, too!

And I was so looking forward to seeing Captain Widdershins on the screen with his “Aye! Do this! Aye! Do that! Aye!!!”

There are things that they change from the books that I can tell are just because the changes would be more dramatic on the screen than what the book described, but the removing of Captain Widdershins is unacceptable.

That being said, I did like seeing Fernald have some development and start to defect from evil before finding out that Fiona was there. He realized that he didn’t want to be doing this and that there was no reason for this little baby to have to do any of the stuff Count Olaf was making her do. It was sweet to watch.

[xaoh-f-goon]

The Gorgonian Grotto