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Also happy April, wear red, keep cool

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Fourth of all (this is somehow personal so feel free to skip) you all know I study computers right? Well, I am not happy with them. I am not happy with studying in general. I am not happy with any of the possibilities of future work. I feel like dropping everything every time I am reminded that I am still doing it.

This is kinda the main subject I discuss with my therapist, and while she doesn’t encourage me to quit she keeps reminding me that it’s okay to do it, or to fail, and between us we both know that my best future is not with computers. She believes I am well suited to creative work, which at first terrified me. I have wished for the longest time to have some artistic work, like being a writer or stuff, but I know working as such is hard and I don’t know if I have the skills to be a professional or live from it. She even suggested monetizing what I already do, but what I do is fanfic which I can’t monetize, not only because of copyright laws and fair use but also because it goes against my beliefs.

But I realized just now that there is one story that I want to tell, a story only I can tell, and telling it would fulfill me better than any other fictional story. I don’t know where to start, or how would be the best way to do it, but I think I have a goal. There’s a story in me that I want to tell, and I think I want my professional pursuit to be telling it

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Third of all, I am writing a bunch of role reversal and roleswap AUs these days so I started thinking which other AUs of these I could make for random stuff. And I thought of an amazing concept for reverse ATWQ:

Normal boy Lemony and his siblings who live with Aunt Solitude move to Stain’d-by-sea, where everyone is involved in a sinister conspiracy, including all the kids they befriend along the way

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Second of all I first read ASOUE in 2007/2008 and blah blah blah how did I only learn of this (theory?) this week?

I mean, there’s still that meeting in which both of them attended but even that could be explained I guess, if Lem’s allies knew it

Also that would be the most satisfying ending, what to happen after “Lemony Snicket is done”

Publishing time Lemony is one of my favorite subjects to speculate about, please give me your thoughts

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First of all, if you are in the relevant fandom, check my new blogs out: @indigodiamondau (for a specific roleswap AU I am writing) and @ailixandrite2dot0 (for general fic writing and stuff)! And my fics on ao3 on the pseud ailixandrite2dot0. I hope at least someone here is in the relevant fandom and will find something cool in my newest work <3

And this is hopefully the last time I talk about another fandom here

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And I have a bunch of things to say

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Yo it’s me

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thinking about how Theodora mentions her last apprentice was Bertrand and Lemony automatically goes “well I’m sure he’ll grow up and have wonderful children.” God.

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I should make a family tree of my ‘verses and its fics some day, my asoue fic and hc history is a beautiful mess

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This is like. If I was working at the same time in the atwq as asoue au and the 2004 canon fic and the reversal au fic. Is the Lemony I am thinking about movie!Klaus’s clone or is he Hangfire 2.0 or is he just invisible? But I am also writing movie!Klaus and Hangfire except he is Dr. Feint and he is ridiculous at times. Who started the fire anyway, Hangfire or Olaf or Lemony? Who am I? Who is narrating this?

It’s a mess but this is what I love about these fics. These three are some of my favorites I have written here (well, reversal au is just in my drafts still but one day!). Then there’s Markson family stuff which is my baby that I love and protect, and my hidden gem in which Lemony is Hangfire’s son (which is technically a child of the reversal au because evil!Lemony is Hangfire 2.0). And Markson family stuff gave birth to firestarter!Bertrand au which I totally don’t have ulterior reasons for loving so much

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You know, I usually write one fic at a time to make sure I finish something.

The other day, my count of fics being written simultaneously was three. Today it is four, with the newest one being almost finished. I had an idea for a fifth one.

Of the 5, only 2 are related to each other (the one almost finished is one of them). I have 4 AUs, 3 of them are roleswaps, the other is a simple self indulgent time travel thing. They all include a bunch of the same characters, so I literally get confused at times about which version of a certain character I am thinking about. They also have a lot of overlap in plot and stuff because the roleswaps are all alternate retellings of the canon events with changes to make it make sense for the new characters, and the time travel thing is all about discussing past events that are those same canon events.

I am having the time of my life, really.

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No one:

Absolutely no one:

Me: *drawing names from a hat* Time to pick the protagonists for my new roleswap AU!!

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When I first read TUA and then TBL, in horrible digital copies missing a lot of stuff, not being fluent in English, etc, I got really really mad. Because the thing I hated the most was continuity errors, and back then, most of children’s shows and movies I was into didn’t give a single fuck about continuity. I didn’t even have a word for it, I was just mad they were careless and expected me not to remember things were not like that. And when I first read asoue, I got way too invested into everything, then when I read TUA and TBL in the conditions I did, it felt like a bunch of continuity errors and incoerences and absurds wrapped in a package of “this all is just a joke” and it made me really mad.

Then I realized I just needed to read them again, in a proper format, and with a open mind.

(Later I was terrified of atwq containing the same sort of stuff I felt that first read.)

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Today my sister and me were talking about fictional tattoos and I remembered that after I first read TUA I thought Lemony had his eye tattoo done right after being taken, as a baby

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Anyway you guys should know that even when I am not coming here, I still receive the notifications and I find it very interesting to see a random post coming back and stuff

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The worst parts is that the characters in question are canonically partially or completely villainous, and I intentionally looked for fics with heavy themes and stuff because I like this side of them and I like the angst but I also like cute redemption stuff and I guess seeing these characters doing good or neutral or even silly things is good for my heart and a total of 77 chapters right at once of them being bitches is too much

Me, after reading a fucking 55 chapters ongoing fic featuring characters I really like being partially or completely villainous, and then reading 22 chapters of a different ongoing fic with similar theme and the same characters doing the same: wow why do I feel exhausted?

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Me, after reading a fucking 55 chapters ongoing fic featuring characters I really like being partially or completely villainous, and then reading 22 chapters of a different ongoing fic with similar theme and the same characters doing the same: wow why do I feel exhausted?