#the goat and crow should be gay

[dragonmask-8]

You know I could explain how detailed my Ozzy canon is and how much I’ve analyzed Little Goody Two Shoes and Pocket Mirror

But instead you get this dumb comic

[opiopal]

Are we sure demons are even mammals? Their human forms are for hiding among humans, so they might not have the less obvious functions. We know Lucifer had 12 wings, but his angel form only shows six, implying that that is at least one more "truer" form, which could also be the case with demons. The truest form of a native demon might use an alternate method to feed their young.

this actually got me thinking more about it, so I started to think about their demon forms since that would probably give more answers,

so lucifer and mammon are birds, peacock and crow, so they would tend to eggs, so no need for breast feeding birds

levi is a serpent, yes there is sea life that are mammals, but sea snakes are def not one of them, so fertilizing eggs in bunches doesn't require breasts even after hatching.

asmo is a scorpion, I have NO CLUE how scorpions work when it comes to their young but i know for a fact that anything with an exoskeleton.. most of the time isn't a mammal. so again, eggs.

and beel is a bug, I forget if its fact that hes a cicada? thats just what I remember, and cicadas arent mammals so again, eggs

now i tried to search for what satan is since its really unclear(at least to me), if he was a bird like his dadmom then he would probably have wings, but he IS wing. and when I searched I was told unicorn and wolf(ofc his rebel teen emo ass would be a wolf) and obviously belphie is a goat/cow thing, so technically the anti lucifer league should be mammals just going off of their demon forms,

but again no nipples, belphie makes sense cause again, former angel, popped into existance, no mommy for him, but satan was born from lucifer.. technically organically...? (still cant believe mpreg basically happened) but lucifer probably was never intended to have kids from his own body so no nipples, and again satan came from wings, which yeah would all make sense, but then again I circle back to Dia

he's a dragon, yet was born not from an egg, but as a result of a live birth. which resulted in his mother passing away. so I'm still going strong on my dia's not a full demon theory(maybe royal blood makes him appear to be a pure demon?)

and I can also imagine that demons dont have a big powerful form like a "be not afraid" angel does, so lucifer and the brothers prolly had a down grade in the scary physical form factor. prolly another layer to their punishments. (ofc demons still prolly have a big scary demon form, just not as big as a flaming swords with wings and eyes and a booming voice)

and going onto other demons, I can imagine reproduction is very diverse in the devildom. demons who are more reptilian, demons that are birds, cold blooded creatures, anything that wouldn't give live birth would lay eggs, do silly little dances to attract mates, look pretty to attract mates, ect. and obviously demons that are goats, cows, deer, cat, dog, would give live birth. so maybe nipples with demons are like freckles? some people have them and other people just dont.

BUT, then again, demons could have only 1-2 animals that relate to their sin, demons of Greed could be crows and foxes, envy is snakes and sea creatures, ect. but then again mephisto is a thing, and he's a demon of pride, so that would make him a peacock like lucifer, but with a lack of a canon demon form its hard to say, but mephisto already shares a hairstyle and boyfriend with lucifer so it would just be mean to have him share even more with him. but than again he could also be a lion? but I dont think that would fit that little gay rich boy at all. But I think it would just be more interesting if a demons form isn't always directly related to their sin so they can be any animal.

all in all, the only thing I think I could come to a conclusion with is that angels aren't mammals. and ofc they wouldnt gain nipples after becoming demons cause how odd would that be? "NOO MY SISTERS DEAD AND IVE BEEN CAST DOWN TO HELL- what are those things on my chest." and with demons it could probably vary from being mammals and not being mammals. but I could imagine its like, 80% of the devildom lays eggs and the other 20% doesnt. but all in all I think demons can do either or, it just depends on what they want to do, get freaky and then give birth or lay an egg and sit on it till it hatches, but I'm sure no demon would willingly give birth if they had the option to just pop out an egg.

or maybe its just my crack theory, two demons kiss and get freaky then 9 months later a baby pops out of thin air, magic baby!

[chai-tea-bag]

Love made us crazy (polycrows)

How the crows show love towards each other (kaz,Inej,Jesper,wylan,Nina,and Matthias)

in this everyone is bi or pan just not straight (let’s be honest all of them are a little gay)

not canon obvi

Wylan and Jesper started dating before anyone else then Nina and Matthias both realized they had feelings for them, then Inej and of course Kaz realized last due to his emotional constipation.

Wylan and Nina are the most affectionate.Always holding hands with someone or kissing their cheeks of course for Kaz they soon find out about his haphephobia, at first they would ask if he was okay with them holding his gloved hand or hugging him, he always replied with a slow nod. Now it is Kaz asking for them to hold his hand he finds that it keeps him calm with gloves on of course they would never force him to take them off for that is his decision. Jesper is the most welcoming to their affection they would spend hours cuddled up together in bed either after a passionate night or simply want to cuddle with him. Inej loved the affections very rarely would she reject them and that only truly happened when they were in public and one of them would get more brave then they should be on public. Matthias wasn’t against the affections he just simply didn’t want to be those kind of people who hang off of each other and make others uncomfortable.

Inej and Jesper are the ones who give gifts small or extravagant. Kaz once got a new cane which he may not use but still cherishes the sleek black cane with his and everyone else’s initials carved through out the length of the wood. Wylan on his birthday got quite a lot of chemicals and somehow they had managed to get him a new flute the moment he got it Nina had begged him to play her a song. Matthias one evening got a new fur lined coat simply because when Jesper saw it he was reminded of him. Nina was gifted new dresses and of course made waffles early in the morning it may not be a lot but she loved every bit of it

Matthias shows his love through acts of service. He would cook for all of them after a mission small or big. He once helped wylan read his documents and books when Jesper of kaz wasn’t around and organizing them In a way wylan would understand. When Inej got hurt he changed all her dressings and brought her food and drinks, sometimes he would just sit there and wait till she asked for help knowing her stubbornness. When it comes to Nina he will do all it takes to make her smile he would often make her waffles when ever she asked or when ever she couldn’t reach something’s he always moved it to a lower self for her so she didn’t feel embarrassed about it later. Jesper was a hard one he often complaining about doing things himself to him but the moment he would get sick he wanted Matthias he was warm and if he couldn’t be with Jesper her would bring him back food and blankets. Kaz was the hardest never letting anyone do anything for him but Matthias found a way sometimes Kaz would forget to eat and sleep Matthias would make his bed the way he liked it and brought him some food.

Kaz showed love through his words. When Inej was doubting her ability as the wraith he would remind her just as quickly as she was to doubt herself why he chose her why she was perfect in every way possible. Jesper would never voice his insecurities to Kaz in the fear of him thinking he’s weak, Kaz is the one to gently remind him that he is the most brave person her knows with or without a goat. It was Wylan who Kaz would remind the most about how and why he loves him the way he does, and when it wasn’t about his love it was about his father Kazs hatred for Jan van ek was on another level he hated what he had done to the sweet boy the amount of fear he had instilled in him, it was wylan that Kaz spoke his love to the most. Nina was constantly reminded that everything she fights for Kaz fights for simply because she cares about it, he would complimented her to the worlds end on her power her beauty and everything in between. Kaz loves Matthias so much and he’s constantly reminding him about it despite the fact that he can get on his nerves but that’s in all relationships and when Matthias has that thought of him being annoying, Kaz will look him dead in the eye and tell him that he enjoys his presence and his voice and his personality and everything else about him.

[werothegreat]

That was the last anyone would ever see of Captain Hook.

Wendy, beaming with joy, turned then to Peter, and said, "Oh, we are now free, and we can go home! And of course you and all the Lost Boys must come with us back to London! I'm sure mother and father would be more than happy to make room for you all!"

The Lost Boys cheered, Nibs and Slightly, Curly and the Twins, and Tootles most of all, smiling so widely his head threatened to fall right off at the hinges. But Peter had neither cheers nor crows. It was as if a cloud had come over that enchanted face of his, that youthful visage never touched by time. "I..." he hesitated, his lips and cheeks twitching in distress. "I don't think I can, Wendy."

Wendy's face fell. "But whyever not, Peter? You say you want a mother, well, come have one! A real one." She reached for Peter's hands, and he let her take them, but he did not hold hers back.

"I remember when I first came here... I think." He gently pulled free of Wendy's hold, and with a short flight alighted atop Long Tom. "So long ago... it feels both like a million years past, yet also only yesterday..." He pressed one hand to his brow, wrinkled into more furrows than a freshly plowed field. "I... I know I keep forgetting things. Maybe it's because... because things are always the same here..." He looked up at Wendy, and for the first time she noticed a light in his eyes, a cognizance, an awareness that had never been there before. "There was... an old man. Only he wasn't really a man."

As he spoke, it was as if they could see it too, transported by Peter's words into his own memory. They saw Peter, a mere babe, toddling across the moss and ferns to a great being sitting criss-cross under a great willow tree. He was covered in fur, which was covered in moss and algae and toadstools, and sprouting from his forehead were two goat's horns, curling back into his matted hair. In his hands was a set of reeds, lashed together with flax twine, and they were raised to his lips as Peter approached. Through them he blew a mournful tune, a nursery lullaby they each half recognized, but couldn't fully place the words to.

Peter rose up on his hind legs like a bear cub. "Who are you?"

The old wild man finished playing, then dropped the pipes from his lips and his gaze to the small, eager child. "I am Pan. And this is my kingdom..." He gestured widely around him, encompassing the entire forest, the lagoon, the snow-capped mountain, and all the stars above. "...that which isn't, what cannot be, and what never was."

Peter blinked. "A Never Never Land."

Pan chuckled. "Yes, child. Such a perfect name, I should have thought of it myself." He played another tune upon his pipes, just as sorrowful.

"Why are you so sad?" Peter dropped onto his bottom next to Pan. The wild man has seemed so large and intimidating as he approached, but sitting next to him, the two were of a height. "I came here so I never had to grow up. Never to be a man or have responsibulliblees. Always to do what I want and never take orders from anyone. Can't that happen here?"

"Of course, that's what Never Never Land is for." Pan dropped his pipes again, wrapping one arm around Peter. "But I am old. I have been young and gay for so long that I am tired. I never did grow up, and I realize now that I missed the best part of my life."

Peter's nose screwed up like a pig's snout. "I doubt that. Being a child is the best. Being grown up seems awful and miserable."

"I thought as you did, once. But I am tired. The children forget me. They don't come here any longer. I am too old for them. They hear my pipes and it annoys them. Nymphs nor satyrs please them. Fairies, though, fairies never go out of fashion." Here he gave Peter a conspiratorial smile.

"I don't know what a nymph is, but I love pirates! Hearing about Blackbeard and Bluebeard and Davy Jones' Locker! Oh, and Indians! And mermaids!" Unbeknownst to Peter, the island around them began to fill with color. A galleon began to crest the horizon, headed for the lagoon, filled with subtle splashes and laughter, and atop the cliffs overlooking the water was a circle of wigwams that had not been there before.

Pan smiled then, a true smile, a smile of relief. "Then I leave my kingdom in good hands. Peter, you must be the Pan now."

The boy blinked. "Peter Pan?"

The old wild man closed his eyes for the last time, smiling, knowing he had passed on his legacy to someone worthy. Peter had already forgotten him, though, sprinting down to the lagoon to meet the mermaids he had just invented. All he left behind was a small mound of earth, covered in moss and algae and toadstools, with a few cattails beginning to grow out of it.

Peter turned from his memory back to Wendy. "There has to be a Pan. Neverland is... it's imagination. It's the wonder and joy of childhood. What would anyone have without it?"

The children turned to hear a sudden outburst of crying. Smee, still tied to the mast, was sobbing and shaking. "Why, that would be terrible! Even worse than no mothers! Children have to be children, don't they?"

Peter and Wendy shared a knowing glance, then Peter floated over to the old pirate, sword in hand. "And how much of an imagination do you have, Mr. Smee?"

"Who, me?" Smee blinked, his tears forgotten in the sudden attention. "Why, no more than anyone else, I suppose. Though I do daydream a bit, the cap'n, may he rest in, well, reptilian digestion, did yell at me and wave his hook at me whenever he caught me staring out at the island..."

Wendy sidled up next to him, grinning. "And what did you daydream about?"

"What? Oh, when I was a boy, I loved the circus. I used to wish I was in the big ring, leading around the elephants. Only never hurt them! I hated when they'd whip the animals, but just seeing them walking around, and the acrobats! Oh, to be an acrobat! How they got up there walking on that rope, I'll never know!"

Slightly, always the quickest to cotton on, hurried up. "And what else? Tell us, Smee!"

The old pirate chuckle. "Oh, I loved reading about Marco Polo's journeys. Camels, silks, Kublai Khan's court in China!"

Tootles had finally understood the assignment. "What about stuff that isn't real?"

"Oh, you mean like dragons?"

There was a sudden roar from the island, as of a great beast, and as they turned and looked, they saw a pillar of smoke rising up from the trees. And was that a pagoda peeking up on the far slopes of the mountain? And where the lagoon had been was now a great big colorful tent, covered in streamers and banners, and if they strained, they could hear the calliope music echoing out to them.

Smee blinked in confusion, his jaw slack, the tears drying on his cheeks. As he turned back to Peter, he gasped, for the boy was offering his very own sword to him, hilt first.

There was a catch in Peter's voice, a hesitance betraying how much will it was taking him to speak the question he now asked. "Smee, would you honor me in being the next Pan?"

Smee looked around at the lost boys, who had just finished untying him from the mast. When he looked back at Peter, he had the biggest, most purest, most beautiful grin on his face, and he took the sword.

Peter regarded the boy facing him, a mop of fresh curls almost covering his eyes, brandishing a sword almost too big for him, wearing pirate clothes barely clinging to a frame much smaller than they had been sized for. The boy once known as Smee crowed and clicked his heels together as he rose into the air, sword held aloft. "I'm the Pan! I'm the Pan!" And with a wink and giggle, he was flying out to find all his newly imagined adventures.

Wendy turned to Peter, holding out her hand. "Are you ready?"

Peter took the hand, softly smiling. "To grow up will be an awfully big adventure."

[ma-lark-ey]

responding to your tags because you're a COWARD.

I've mostly got like. vibes and energies rather than concrete designs. if that makes sense.

the prophet --- tall, imposing woman when in her persona. Beyond that, it's pretty undecided. She's an oracle, a prophet, she's supposed to be open to the reader so whatever you want. I think her silhouette & costume should be very owl-y, very 'golden guard' (and i made her BEFORE toh even released much less the golden guard was a thing so i did it FIRST).

sibyl sageseer - cringefail reporter woman. Nervously biting on lollipops all of the time. wears sunglasses to cover her eyes most of the time, because i imagine (since she's a seer) she's got a funky eye situation going on.

starshine - saturated pinks and purples. Feels like a Boyfriends panel. Curly ass lavender hair. No one knows if it's dyed or natural. He passes as human, but he has weird goat pupils & maybe some other traits that make him uncanny. Like, some proportions that don't quite *look* human but that you can rationalize. (his civilian identity dresses like a gay frat boy. take that as you will).

martyr --- short king. President get-up. He's looking like a politician with dramatic crime gloves and an out-of-place freaky ass helmet/mask situation. Lots of cat or fox energy to him, smooth lines and unsettling grace.

corman --- chillaxed science professor energy. He's always got a latte and talks with his hands and a lot of gestures. cool uncle.

the ferryman --- a) this costume is androgynous and the public are constantly confused on this fucker's gender. b) if it's not a grim raper theme what even was the POINT

river styx --- genuinely pale as a corpse with sunken eyes; a drawback of his necromancy is that he's essentially just chronically ill and fatigued. 2012 tumblr would LOVE him. Doesn't wear jewelry because he hates the texture. Small shirt, big pants guy. medium length hair. Probably doesn't care much about his appearance when not in costume. DOES have a little skeleton animal friend. What kind? i dunno. thinking of giving him a black dog because of death omens. maybe a crow.

asphodel --- a) it's not totally anonymous like ferryman was. he's got a face covering, but not full helmet. his identity could be discovered quite easily. I also think he'd wear the Boon's cloak, as a symbol of like, avenging her. It's probably tattered. I think Asphodel has proper weapons. The Ferryman was focused on disarming and capture, but Asphodel will kill with enough cause. He DOES want to kill Starshine with his bare hands, but he's leaving Martyr for Prophet.

Is river trans? If so, what direction? choose your own adventure!

anyways yeah.

and then penny (the boon) is a peppy ginger.

you asked for this. buckle in.

okay SO

I hope you remember that future-seer superhero I made for my cw class in junior year. Sibyl?? The Prophet?? & her beloved wife, The Boon??

We're back in that universe baby.

I know for a FACT I never told you about Starshine OR Martyr, so we're going there, but I know you know a bit about Ferryman??

So, Starshine is kind of our had honcho. He's THE hero, yk? You get told 'think of a superhero' and you think of Starshine. & in a society where powers are HEAVILY regulated, it's uncommon for a guy like Starshine to come about because, well, no one's really sure what his power is? He teleports, he floats, he's fast as anything, they have no solid proof of strength powers but surely he has some, right?

He's super close with the PR heads of the hero regulation council. & there's some VERY stringent laws on necromancy abilities, so he helped the chairman keep his son's own necromantic tendencies under wraps for a long time--- Until the Quintessential Building Collapse that would lead to a) The Boon's death, b) the Prophet's loss of anonymity, and c) the death of said chairman and his wife. Thanks, Martyr!

So, yeah, supervillain Martyr has kind of just gone full 'end justifies the means' in the worst way. His politics (namely, allowing metahumans to not be punished for having abilities. shout out necromancy laws & seer laws) are understandable, his methods are *not* because he's. Wild.

Anyway, this kind of the chairman's necromancy power kind of gets outted to the rest of the commission and they're like 'kids like you aren't allowed to exist.' and he's like 'yeah your laws are rubbish. What is I became a superhero?' and Starshine went, 'i'll do you one better. be my sidekick.'

and this was intentional. this was *very* intentional.

Because Starshine is a Martyr sympathiser.

Correction; Starshine is married to Martyr. In their civilian identities.

Now, neither of them knew initially who the other was, but Starshine was talking to his husband one day like, 'now, i'm not pro-mass murder, but like, the guy's got a point.' and so the huband was like 'Oh? Bet.' and the reveal happened from there and they were like, 'no we can use this. Mhm mhm.'

ANOTHER thing Martyr is trying to do is to further research into necromantic ablities, because laws & morality & whatnot has prevented science & necromancers from learning a whole lot. So he wants to get his hands on an honest to god necromancer to use as his little lab rat. And I mean that in the John Harper way not a fun dad way.

Starshine *knows* a necromancer, but he's not old enough to do anyting with yet. But then the collapse happens, and the world discovers this powerful ass necromancer kid who's been flying under the radar thanks to daddy's money & the world is split between 'he's a necromancer he's dangerous as hell and demonic.' and 'he's literally thirteen what threat is a thirteen year old' and so Starshine is like 'and im a dad now, actually.'

So he takes Ferryman and is like 'babe, husband, love of my life. Here's our necromancer. You've seen what he can do. But not yet. Let me train him first, before you get your hands on him.' and Martyr is like 'oh of course.' & Ferry spends *three years* living with Starshine & Martyr, not knowing he's living with *Martyr* and is doing fun cool hero things. Because the supervillain's been dormant since that attack, hiding from Prophet. Until he makes a comeback. And Prophet gets a vision--

And I've changed this; Ferry & Prophet don't know each other beyond their personas now.

But Prophet gets this series of visions. First was Ferryman's identity under his reaper mask, second was that Ferryman's legal guardian as Starshine, and third, was that Ferryman's other guardian as *Martyr* and Martyr was preparing to turn this kid into a living experiment (you dont watch MHA but think Shigaraki/the Doctor vibes).

So Prophet catches him while he's on patrol and she's like, 'you need to come with me.' and he's like 'what? no? who are you? I'm going home, lady,' and she's like 'No. You're *not* come with me." and in pops Martyr like heeeyyyy besties. And he's not happy.

Prophet makes quick work of busting the voice modulator & destroying the mask Martyr uses, and she hates that she has to b so calloused about Ferry finding out, but like...

And then Ferry quickly escapes with Prophet and fucking books it, not really knowing *why* but knowing he wasnt going home.

And then he pieces together that Starshine knew this whole time. And there was this very public moment where Starshine's patrolling and this greek-themed vigilante pops out of NOWHERE and tries to take his ass down, and very quickly people realise 'whos the greek necromancer?? THATS OUR GREEK NECROMANCER' except now he's using the alias 'Asphodel' because he's 15 and he's dramatic. He's also figured out he can bloodbend humans, but it doesnt work on Starshne because, well, Starshine isn't *human* (shout out to the galaxy I made for Prattled! Starshine is from the plant Prattled's planet's at war with. They would actually kill each other if left in a room)

So yeah Asphodel is going on a fucking EXPOSE. this boy is PISSED. he wants VENGEANCE, bro. His parents are gone, his sibling is 'missing' (but prolly also gone considering she was in the building) & his stepdads were their murderers this whole time??? oh it is WAR

and i dont know what happens next but I know there will be a showdown of epic proportions

OKAY I needed like a solid 20 minutes to sit down and read through this but we’re so here. I love ur superheroes. That marriage reveal is CRAZY btw I am so obsessed with superheroes and supervillains being in love this is delicious… sometimes a family is a hero and a villain and their necromantic kid…also give me a moment I started answering this and then realized it’s too loud for me to think where I’m sitting and I need to be somewhere quiet so I can be properly nuts about it. Please hold for scam likely etc etc

[livvyagainstcc]

Shadow and Bone:My thoughts and rambling

Every time I saw the establishing shot of the crow club I was so stupid happy

Jesper being the human equivalent of “I’m here for a good time, not a long time” is so perfect for him.The fact that he just stumbled upon Alina?!!! *chefs kiss*

“HE IS SIMP”(Which He? It’s a choose your own adventure)

Mal and Alina do have my heart and their letters to each other were the only reason I believe in love tbh

Nadia thinking Zoya is hot despite Zoya being a bitch to her is filling my sapphic heart with so much joy. Did Eric H. read my screenplay on enemies to lovers who happen to be lesbians cause damn boo

Speaking of gay: where we supposed to believe Ivan and Fedyor were straight when they fed each other like that??

The cast should do promotional stuff where they do goat yoga because it would be funny

The last group scene with the three crows, mal/alina and zoya was a nice: “here we are representing all three of the major grishaverse series”

Does this also hint that Zoya is going to have her own storyline next season separate from book canon cause I would like to see it. Can she be with a particular blonde boy pls??

The boat scene where Nina interacts with the three did a perfect job of setting up the heist of the next season

Inej and Kaz had my whole heart and i love themmmmm. The scene of him calming her down after she killed someone: *sobs* 

Everyone was great but the standouts for me where Jessi, Archie and Kit (But this will totally change upon the second rewatch)

Fave episodes: 5/7 (minus the darkling being thirsty to get some action. I mean i get it but chill my guy)

Jesper/milo is a great ship but i raise you: kaz/his many different hats

I DID pause my tv after NMNF was said to scream for a minute thank you so much for asking

Feel free to shame me that I blurted out “oh my god, a meet-cute” when Matthias was chaining up Nina on the boat. 

Wanted more David tbh

[grishaversecommunityyy]

The Grishaverse Ship Survey Results

So! After all of that, we finally have the results! What is the general opinion on the ships in the Grishaverse? Well, that’s for you to read below! It’s actually pretty interesting and, while some parts make sense, there were definitely some parts which... surprised me... Anyway, onto the results!

Everything in this post can be split into:

The Grisha Trilogy

Six Of Crows Duology

The Nikolai Series

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

Most Enjoyed Ships

Least Enjoyed Ships

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

Notes from the Survey 

(note from mod emily: i tried to bold all of fritz’ comments, but i might have missed a few! be aware there are two of us analysing here :))

The Grisha Trilogy

The first book series we asked about was, of course, the first chronologically: the Grisha Trilogy. The most popular ship, with 83% voters for this series selecting this, was Genya/David (Fritz was glad to hear that; Yes I am). This is likely due to the lack of alternate romantic interests in the series, which seems to be a major issue for Alina’s ships. It also seems to be one genuinely enjoyed by most fans, in contrast to Darkling/Alina and Mal/Alina (each around 30%) and Nikolai/Alina (just under 20%), for which I have definitely seen plenty of debate. The second and third most popular ships for this series were Tamar/Nadia (55%) and Nikolai/Zoya (47%). Interestingly, Genya/Alina (43%) and Zoya/Alina (30%) ranked surprisingly high, especially considering how few of my friends and associates I hear talking about them. Good for them!

Honourable mentions:

Alina/Sun (no doubt inspired by that crack fic I wrote a while back) (Still havent read that out of fear)

Alina alone (a common concept among those surveyed, though most mentioned it later)

Zoya/Genya or Alina/Zoya/Genya

Six Of Crows Duology

This series was a little less divided, I would say. Predictably, Kaz/Inej came out on top with a whopping 96% of voters (:relieved:), with Wylan/Jesper next (90%) and Nina/Matthias just after (83%). None of the others really came close, despite Nina/Inej gathering 35% of the votes and Colm/Aditi at 25% (yeah, I’m not sure why that was so popular on AO3 either, but nobody really has objections so I assume that’s why it amassed so many votes). As Six of Crows is decidedly less divisive about ships and doesn’t have such controversial ships (more on that later), it seems the fandom agrees with canon pairings and the votes are... pretty unanimous.

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper/Wylan/Kuwei

Polycrows (platonic or romantic)

Kaz/Inej/Nina

Whoever didn’t read the instruction about this being for only the book series and put Jesper/Milo. I will never escape. 

The Nikolai Series

This one is a little harder for me because I actually haven’t read this... so over to Fritz for analysis! But first, the stats. At 85%, the most popular ship is Genya/David, followed by Zoya/Nikolai at 77%. Tamar/Nadia and Nina/Hanne draw at 61.5% and Nina/Matthias has 56% voters onboard. There’s no real honourable mentions for this one, sadly. Hello Fritz here! Read the books and very glad to see Genya/David as the top ship as it damn well should. Although still a bit surprising since its more of a side-arc of the two and only ties in with the importance of the story at a specific chapter that I feel like I don’t need to elaborate about, if you read Rule of Wolves. (I believe the popularity of the ship also sky-rocketed due to ROW) Following of course Zoya/Nikolai, the high ranking makes sense, it is the main ship and lets be honest they deserve it <3

I think the only really surprising thing about this is the high votes for Nina/Matthias since [SPOILERS CROOKED KINGDOM] he’s dead so I feel like people should move on from that. Nina/“Hanne” having not as high a ranking as I would’ve thought, but with Matthias still being in the frame I guess we shouldn’t be surprised either.

Shadow and Bone: TV Series

This one is really interesting, with the exclusive show watchers now taking part! We have 89% voting for Kaz/Inej, 76% for David/Genya, 71% for Matthias/Nina, 67% for Ivan/Fedyor (that’s a thing???-->Yeah they had a few somewhat sweet interactions in the background-->nvm i watched it you’re right fritz) and 62% for Mal/Alina. What’s really surprising is how high Malina is compared to Darklina, with Darkling/Alina at 36%. Who knows, maybe Fritz’ analysis can shed some light on this?

Yes yes Fritz to the rescue: First of all we have to see their interactions a little different from what we already knew of them by the end of episode 8. I still think it is a surprising number, since the Darkling in the show isn’t as nasty as he was in the books BUT over all his actions are now seen on TV. We all thought the deer antlers were a necklace amirite? Well no apparently not, the darkling used the worst kind of small science to fit Alinas collarbone to the bone and out comes a gruesome sight: a reason why many people might have started thinking: Wow what a disgusting person he is. And on the Malina “ship”: Mal finally has personality!! jkjk :eyes: Mals and Alinas friendship has been portrayed way better in the show and I believe that the people noticed more chemistry between them especially by the end of season 1. So I’m still a little surprised Darklina has such a low ranking (what with him being all sweet and cuddly in the middle of the show) but it makes sense and the Malina ship as well. Their vibes are just *chefs kiss* and thats coming from someone who didnt even like any of these “ships” <3

Loving the quotation marks for the word ‘ships’, Fritz. Over to the honourable mentions!

Honourable Mentions:

Jesper and Milo (isn’t milo a goat? guys, why?)

Nadia/Marie (huh that didn’t appear anywhere else)

One person had several - Kaz/Inej/Jesper, Dubrov/Mikhael, Dubrov/Mikhael/Mal - and yeah, you can really see the show differences in these mentions right? (whose dubrov...and whose mikhael...)

16% actually voted for Inej/Alina which is wild to me because of book context (they did have chemistry in the show tho :cowboi_smirk:)

Another person with several! We have Nina/Inej, Genya/Alina, Zoya/Alina, Zoya/Genya/Alina. Very sapphic. Good for you.

Kaz/Jesper and Nina/Inej all in one

That’s a lot of honour and mentions but it’s so interesting to me and I think you should see too

Most Enjoyed Ships

The most enjoyed ship was Kaz/Inej. This had unparalleled support, being at 35%. Jesper/Wylan, which was next on the list (23.5%) and Nina/Matthias (18%) were also pretty popular. Most of the others were quite low, though interestingly Mal/Alina only had 1 vote (plus one for the show version). Overall, the SoC ships were a lot more popular in this section, which makes sense - this part is really about your favourite ship, and those were more unanimous in the last sections.

Least Enjoyed Ships

Most people said Darkling/Alina, which got 47% of the NOTP votes. A lot more people disliked Darkling/Alina than liked Kaz/Inej. Make of that what you will, but I take it as a somewhat general agreement among many of you guys. Mal/Alina was also strongly disliked at 22%, but around a half or more of these were clarified to be about the book version of the ship specifically. They really must’ve upgraded in the show! Jesper/Kuwei and any other Darkling ships were also voted by a few, but all of these pale in comparison to the anti-Darklina votes. Shoutout to the person who said Apparat/Anyone. I agree, though it’s not something I thought of before seeing this response. Also one person said they didn’t like the poly ships, which I hope meant just the ones mentioned earlier and not all poly relationships in general... Another shoutout to whoever said Kaz/Heleen, because why did I have to read that. A fun question, all in all!

Crack Ships and Shipping Discourse

I love talking about crack ships, so let’s start with that! This time, I really don’t want to have to count and list because... well, let me show you:

I think that sums up the sheer variety, to be honest. Then again, it would be rude not to mention that the most popular were Jesper/Milo, Darkling/Nikolai and Alina/Sun. (If you’re still confused about that last one, I take full responsibility.)

YES KAZ/KRUGE I SUPPORT!!!

Honourable mention to this:

which was a lot to take in, and:

Now for the discourse. Yep, the part you probably came for. 

Actually... maybe you didn’t? Looking at all of these responses, I see a lot of people genuinely don’t care about ship wars and so on, and often enjoyed the books regardless of the romances involved. Quite a few disapproved of the ongoing (though small) wars between Darklina and Malina, and others had a similar line of thinking, saying we should maybe stop focusing so much on it. You guys are right. I know this is a ship survey, and the conclusions should not include that shipping isn’t as important as we make it (Yes it should), but... that’s where it’s at.

And then again, a lot of you guys expressed disapproval for Darkling/Alina, discussing how it is often one-sided and manipulative and overall unhealthy, so I could be completely off with that last one. Some people mentioned that they ship this but as a slightly different version that the one given to us, recognising the flaws of the canon ship.

Someone said they headcanon Tolya as aroace (OMG YES!!). We need more aroace characters, so thank you for that headcanon :) We also have a few gay ships mentioned here, and one person telling us they love Malina. Yes, you’re right - it’s pretty unpopular, it turns out. Someone else said Alina should’ve been single, and I agree, actually!

One person rickrolled me here. Thankfully, Youtube’s ads saved me. *wipes forehead*

I leave you all with this, in the end:

Notes from the Survey

Statistics Stuff:

The top ships were taken from AO3, so some ships may be more focused on in other books and may not provide accurate statistics for an earlier series.

The main circles this was sent around may have had bias as most people are from the same discord server, which has debated these topics in the past. Hence certain ships may have lower-than-average results. In future, this could be improved upon by sending this to other servers and areas of the fandom.

Personal bias may be present in the analysis, though I have tried to minimise this in the more formal sections.

Observations and Notes from Me:

You guys really don’t like Darklina. Or you love it. Usually one or the other. Wow.

Be glad I didn’t talk about any of the cursed ships in this. The things I have seen... (:cowboi_eyes:)

I thought more people would rickroll me, ngl.

What Surprised You Guys:

Kaz/Inej/Jesper

A few of you guys saw some of those cursed ships, and that surprised you. Well, me too!

Nikolai ships being in the TV Show section at all, what with his character not being in the show (yeah what was up with that huh tztz)

Inej/Alina

The existence of The Severed Moon

Darkling/Nikolai(/Alina)

How fun the quiz was :D

Things You Sent Me:

Bee Movie copypasta

“Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!”, except via an AO3 link

A fun fact about enzymes! I liked this one

Fic recs for Feriku and Sarai (esp for Wylan/Jesper shippers)

Another rickroll

Nice compliments :) aww you guys

I asked everyone for some kind of placeholder name and never used it. Sorry! But hey, anonymity, right?

Closing Statements

If you got this far (I feel like ive been sitting here for hours), thanks for reading! This was fun to do and I hope you enjoyed all of this too! The survey is still open for anyone who hasn’t done it but wants to. If I get a huge amount of new responses, I might update this post! But for now, adios!

-mod emily (and mod fritz)

[mintenochian]

what other people want added to Minecraft: g u n s

what I want added to Minecraft

•Birds

-For multiple biomes, but mainly for the forests.

-Songbirds would add SO MUCH life to the otherwise quiet areas of the game

-Ravens and crows would be awesome and could use some of the parrot mimicking AI

-Cardinals in the snow biomes would bring a GORGEOUS pop of colour into the white atmosphere

-Seriously we need something to populate the sky, parrots do NOT fly like they should

-nests in trees, can find eggs in them

-doesn't really add a use but fun new feather types would be cool

•Owls

-technically still a bird but would go really well in covered rooftop forests and snow biomes

-we're already getting larger avians added in the form of vultures so why not more large birds?

•Mice and / or rats

-absolute precious babies

-sadly would go well with owls :(

-with cave update coming we need adorable rodents scurrying around

-lil bastards could make mouseholes inside of blocks

-will they be tameable? idk.

-adds the necessity for cheese

•Deer

-MOJANG this is a MUST, this is a NEED

-You literally have pigs, chickens, cows, and sheep spawning in forests what the fuck

-Deer with spotty baby fawns??? Yes

-Young bucks with different stages of antler growth? Yes

-Fawns frolicking in flower forests bc they feel safe

-Stripped wood appearing on trees where bucks scrape velvet off their antlers

-Being able to collect sets of antlers when they fall off periodically (would NOT be attainable by killing the deer, you have to wait for them to shed)

•Elk and Moose

-Same vein as deer

-Bigger, much bigger, neutral instead of passive, less shy

-Snowy biomes

-Better additions than fucking llamas tyvm

-Sidenote but savannahs could also really use some endangered deer-like species to help raise awareness for their status

•Squirrels

-Mojang plz

-Adds nuts to Minecraft ;)

-Black, grey, red, and mixed colour squirrels and breeding

-Brings life to forests like songbirds and deer

•Bears

-Mojang bby you literally already have a neutral bear in Minecraft why have you not reskinned it for grizzly/brown/black bears?

-Bear caves

-Hibernating mobs

-Brings more use to the beehives and bees, bears could be attracted to any area that has more than one bee hive with honey

•WOLVES AND DOGS

-They NEED the ocelots and cats update

-More wolf types (red, timber, snow, black, etc)

-Actual wolf packs (the AI would be difficult to program but the doges are worth it)

-Please let the howl at the moon, if foxes get to say ringdingding all night long wolves deserve to be allowed to howl

-More dog breeds (I know that there's no reason for domesticated dog breeds in Minecraft but ACTUALLY THERE IS)

-Hunting dogs like springers that can jump and run faster

-Foxhounds :D

-Most Important Goodest Boy: Herding dogs like collies and sheepdogs

-Herding dogs could be found in plains where cows and sheep spawn and create herds

-LET DOGS LAY DOWN FOR FUCKS SAKE

•Herding

-Instead of having to pen up and enclose your livestock you could form herds of cows and sheep

-Your Goodest Boi herding dog would protect them and move around with them when they graze

-Just soft peaceful minecraft tingz

•Salt licks

-Something SO SMALL but would make SO MUCH HAPPINESS

-Drawing new cows into your herd by putting up a salt lick

-I'm soft

-I guess salt would be a new ore???

•Bird feeders

-idk I think it would be cool

-excess seeds used for SOMETHING

•Raccoons

-The coolness of wolves, the chaos of foxes, the cunning of cats

-thumbs

-be gay do crimes

-can open chests (trigger trap chests to catch them?)

-Fantastic little shits

-Not tameable but will trust players like foxes do

•Snakes

-I know it's a lot to ask and it would be hard to make them look good

-But??? Imagine a tiny lil garter snake in your garden

-unlikely but would be so fantastic

•Rope

-climeable

-please Mojang we need this so badly

-imagine the ships? The bridges? The bell towers and everything?

-super easy to add, just reskin vines and add a string crafting recipie

•Butterflies and Moths

-Bflies could be a unique mob to flower forests and friends with bees

-if moobloom is added they would all be BEST BUDS

-get it "buds" ahahaha

-help with flower polination but just gives a TON of life to flower forests

-We literally have lanterns in minecraft why do we NOT have moths? Such a cool aesthetic addition.

-helps fill both the daytime and nighttime sky

•Hummingbirds

-fourth member of BEST BUDS

-just soft baby

-i love birbs okay

-the only avian who does not work for the bourgeoisie

•Fireflies

-10 million of them please

-they give great hugs

-adds so much atmosphere to the night world

•Cheese

-We have milk

-We have, presumably, goat milk

-Quit being cowards and add butter and cheese

-Butter churn job block for villagers

-V funny bc they have no arms to churn with?? Oh well

•Seashells

-Something decorative and beautiful that could 1) liven up beaches and 2) have snails and crabs inside!

-Mojang plz do not add sand dollars to the game people already don't know how to tell if they're still alive before trying to take them home

•Whales

-WHALES.

-Imagine something as massive as the ender dragon but peaceful. Allows you to stand on them (idk how but make it happen Jeb)

-WHALE SONGS.

-Being so deep and far out into the ocean, and when the moon is high in the sky and you're sitting in your boat, you just hear the beautiful melancholy sounds of the whales in the distance

•Jellyfish

-Idk if y'all know this but the glow squid is a bad idea

-Dream buddy you fucked up, please use your influence to get in contact with Mojang and have them redo the vote. People would have so much regained respect for you if you tried to fix your mistake.

-Also why does a speedrunner get to tell millions of people what mob would bring more life to Minecraft? He's only playing the game for 5 minutes smh

-aNYWAYS

-Jellyfish could literally do everything the glow squid is going to and look better for it AND possibly be neutral instead of peaceful

•Orcas

-Not much to say but it would liven up the frozen water biomes a bit

•Penguins

-You already know why

-Imagine giving a new home to all the Club Penguin players? Legendary.

-Gender doesn't exist in Minecraft but we all know penguins would be hella gay

•Lobsters

-I think they would be cute

-You would NOT BE ABLE TO BOIL THEM ALIVE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

•Mermaids

-Never going to happen since passive mobs are generally real life animals but it would be so cool

•Otters

-they can hold hands

-brings life to the rivers

-super cute

•Frogs and possibly toads

-Swamp gods

-Absolute mad lads

-maybe grow from tadpoles

-wouldn't do much but needed

•Fairy Forests

-NOT Twilight Forests. Not a new dimension.

-Just gentle hidden groves in forests

-ADD FAIRY RING GENERATION TO MINECRAFT.

•Big cats

-Tigers, lions, bobcats, panthers

-Literally anything that could finally add a strong predator possibility to savannahs and jungles

•Zebras and Giraffes

-Shy and skittish

-cannot ride (their skeletal structure is NOT MADE FOR CARRYING HUMANS)

-Super cute tho, brings much needed life to savannahs

•Camels

-The better llama

-Can honestly just be a reskin

-brings much needed life to the desert

-spits and wears carpet and forms caravans like llamas

•Lemurs

-Easier to add to "jungles" than monkeys

-it would be really cool if we could just get a Rainforest biome

-King Julian stans awaken

•Red pandas

-we need them

-cuter than normal pandas and you can @ me

-better idea than sloths or koalas

•More Eldritch Horror Hostile Mobs

-Fun fact time

-The enchanting table language already has Lovecraftian references

-"phnglui mglwnafh cthulhu rlyeh wgahnagl fhtagn" is literally a quote from the enchanting table

-translates to "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

-Bet you didn't know that fun fact

-aNYWAYS add the Kraken to Minecraft instead of the shitty guardians. Thanks.

-imagine how cool it would be to see lights slowly extinguish as something terrifying and dangerous slowly moves in for the kill

-torches get extinguished and can get relit

-if not relit fast enough Something will be waiting

•Ice statues

-We have giant fossils and ship wrecks and cool stuff like that but please imagine finding a GIANT humanoid ice sculpture in an ice spikes biome

-maybe bones inside to show you that... That wasn't carved or naturally generated.

•Skeletons

-Not a mob but a decoration block

-Found in temples, mineshafts, and caves

-implied to be the remains of miners and explorers

-rare

-also implies that every skeleton you kill has some backstory since they look the same

•Constellations

-Not real world star maps but completely unique to Minecraft

-chance for LOTS of fun references

-The stars are your only companions in an apocalyptic world where you are the last of your kind

-Space is gay minecraft is gay thus minecraft space is gay

•Corn

-we have butter in this list

-we have salt in this list

-popcorn. That is all.

And finally

•Leeks

-mostly a joke but would be a cool crop

-100% a reference to Hatsune Miku the creator of Minecraft

DISCLAIMER: I recognize that mobs are added to Minecraft to serve a purpose within the game and that many of these mobs would be better in mods and such, but I also feel like many of these suggestions would really bring so much more life to parts of the game that really need it. Even if they don't serve a huge purpose, they would still be really amazing additions imo.

I would love to see the ideas and suggestions that other people have for what they want added to Minecraft, please TAG ME if you make a post like this, I wanna hear and read it!

[qqueenofhades]

i absolutely adored the crows in the show??? like they looked exactly like how i pictured them??? except for some reason i always pictured inej bangs and her hair cut to her chin, but!!! she carried inej exactly how i imagined and was perfect in literally every aspect. can we get a show with them please??? ben was awesome as the darkling, of course, genya was incredible, and even zoya!! mal and alina, on the other hand.........eh?? they were just okay??? like their acting was just okay 😬 what did you think!! did you like the actors???

I did enjoy the crows a lot, yes! As noted, they were the ones that I was most invested in coming into the show, and I think that overall, they really did do a good job in translating them to screen. Jesper is probably my favourite, as he was in the books, and I am waiting impatiently for Wylan to arrive in s2 so the two of them can be messy queer boys together. Inej was lovely, as expected. IMHO, they definitely softened Kaz down quite a bit from his book counterpart, but I liked the actor anyway and as I noted in some earlier ask or another, it was funny to watch them run around like chaotic himbos, be gay and do crimes, achieve absolutely bugsquat nothing whatsoever, and get to make friends with Milo the goat while they were at it. It’ll be interesting to see how they blend Siege & Storm and SOC (which I assume they will do next season, with Ruin & Rising and CK being s3, should we get that far).

Of course, NINA AND MATTHIAS. I’m doing a rewatch (just finished episode 7, preparing myself for Pain on this front in episode 8) and as ever, they FULLY own me. Also, cannot stop cackling over the fact that you are Matthias Helvar. You are unconscious on a piece of wood in the middle of a giant-ass thunderstorm after your ship broke up and your nasty colleagues who look like that one guy in Pirates of the Caribbean that Will Turner fails to blow up have deservedly drowned. Your captive, who you have chained up, said dumb things to, and otherwise given her no reason to like you, decides to save you partly because a) she’s a good person and b) she needs your help. You wake up, immediately fall directly off the raft into the frothing ocean, bellow “WITCH!” at the top of your lungs while flailing pointlessly, accuse her of being the problem, and have another argument before you agree to try to swim both of you to shore. If nothing else, you are consistent. You are also very stupid. Also, every time she talks, you gaze at her with literal hearts for eyes and then say something else face-palmingly idiotic. Your goose is so cooked. Alas.

(I love them. The end of CK is not canon in this house and never will be.)

As for Mal and Alina, aha, hmm. I’m not at all invested in them as a couple (I don’t mind them or anything, I just don’t have any feelings about them and it seems like a lot of telling vs. showing). Also, it’s my own opinion that they really don’t develop much as a pairing over the course of the series? They start out in one place and end up pretty much in the exact same place at the end. Of course, I am the messy bitch who prefers enemies to lovers and complicated relationships and Angst rather than childhood-friends-to-lovers, so that’s me. (Also the kid who plays Mal is like... 17, and I’m 32, so it would be a little weird if I was attracted to a teenager.) Plus book!Mal annoyed me in Siege and Storm to the point where I wondered why on earth Alina was still with this guy, so if that happens in s2, I will run out of patience with him real fast. I recognize they’ve also changed the character for the TV series, so we’ll see how that goes, and I think both actors did a decent job. They’re both young and these are their first big roles and they didn’t take me out of the story or anything. I also enjoyed Jessie Mei Li’s chemistry with Ben Barnes (obviously) and staring at Ben Barnes every time he was on screen. Me have smrt thoughts. Smrt.

Anyway. Yes.

[stolen-llullabies]

Shadow and Bone Rambles

So many thoughts and feelings. Did I stay strong for 2 days only to succumb to a 9-hour marathon even though I have 2 more exams? Yes.

Ingenious

Jesper and Milos

I love how the conductors version of a stress ball is a goat

I dont like the darkling but I like ben barnes so now what

"and I will be right here" i snorted so hard Im so happy to be able to see this

Also I loveee my baby crows sm

I love how the show adds a this warmth to crows banter that wasnt as palpable in the books.

Genya is so stunning idfk what to do

Also I love how they included that scene in the train with jesper that way anyone whose like 'bUT hE iSn'T RElEvaNT' would stfu

"No human being should be as proud as you are right now"

"Shutup, jesper"

Read throne of wolves and seeing a specific character broke my heart

Genya and david are amazing. I love them

Also, the scene in ep 2 was so unnecessary when right before her bath, they showed her butt like it's Ramadan??? behave.

THE TENSION BETWEEN INEJ AND KAZS IS SO THICK

LMFAOO JESPER FLIRTING WAS SO FUNNY TO ME

Mal smashing glass on the master is so funny hes like u deserve no rights, thank yew.

Lmao they casted the roles for those *men* so spectacularly I wanna kill em all

The apararat is so creepy.

Alina's reaction in the library to him is so valid, like thats all women to creepy men.

I'm laughing so hard omfg she just PUT HERSELF IN THERE AHAHAHAHAHA

Ivan is so funny

How the fuck is ben so attractive like I just want to hold his face

So u guys know how Mathias described the way that nina speaker as musical ITS SO TRUE the actress is so talented like pls talk to me forever

Zoya bby

Omfg that entire scene under the wagon all of it was just for us

Jes

I've never heard a word said with more disdain

Omfg when kaz used his cane as a reason to not help it was the same as captain holt pulling the gay card

Also kaz taking steps back when he encountered the darkling

When darkling said 'you're just a child but she's grisha' really shows that they're not ppl to him

Kaz giving that hint of a smile to Jesper when they were teasing him, please

Inej doing the one thing she never wanted to do for Kaz, and Kaz putting his entire empire on the line for her. I love them, your honour.

That entire campfire scene

I actually laughed out loud so many times, and that's so hard to do.

Bonus: My favourite scene is the one when the three of them are under the wagon, but my SECOND favourite is when Jesper opens the door, and David is just reading. I rewatched it like 8 times. It's so funny.

[alrightbookreviews]

Shadow and Bone

by Leigh Bardugo

book: 7/10

show: 9/10

Alright so i’m assuming most of y’all have heard of this book after the Netflix series came out like a week ago and are like “damn i shoulda read the book” or maybe not. but if not then idk why ur even on my blog but whatever. i read this book like a month or two ago before i even knew about the show so it was a strange coincidence for me but i was excited for the show bc the book was pretty decent. so i sat down to watch the show w pretty low expectations bc the movies are never better than the books (duh) but i ended up liking the show WAY more than the book and here’s why.

So basically, the plot of the book is this chick named alina who draws maps i guess has this friend named mal (who she grew up at an orphanage with) and she has been high key in love w him basically her whole life and he is so fucking clueless so he doesn’t pick up on it at all. but they get sent on a boat across this big black cloud thing called the “shadow fold” w spooky monsters in it. so you’re probably thinking “oh okay since they took a boat, the shadow fold must be over water” wrong. it’s over some crusty ass sand and instead of getting something with wheels they drag this big ass boat across dry land which makes 0 sense to me but okay. also i should probably mention that there are people w like magic powers or some shit but i’ll get to that later. anyways, so alina and her bestie end up on this boat goin across the big spooky cloud with some other rando people. another design flaw of the boat that really bothers me is the fact that there are EVIL FLYING MOSTERS up in this dark ass cloud and instead of like putting everyone below deck or whatever, they jus have everyone vibing out in the open for the monsters to snatch. so of course, the monsters start snatching bitches. and mal gets snatched and alina is like omg no and then she passes the fuck out. very wild stuff. so they make it out of the shadow fold somehow and alina wakes up and these guard dudes are draggin her to the fancy magic people tent. i think now is a good time to explain the magic people so ima do that. so basically there are all these people with magic powers called “grisha” which is kinda confusing bc it sounds a lot like geisha but whatever. there’s like a bunch of different powers and they all have wacky names that i can never remember so i just call them the wind people, the water people, the fire people, the heart people, the healing people, and the builder people. the names are pretty self explanatory. but then there’s this one guy called “the darkling” which is the dumbest name to ever exist omfg i laughed over it for a WHILE. so y’all can probably guess what his power is based off of his stupid name. he makes the shadows move oooo spooky. and he can also use the shadows to chop people in half. i guess. so back to the story, they drag alina to the darklings tent and he’s like “bitch u got powers” and she’s like “nah fam” and he’s like “yeah watch” and he cuts her w a knife and she lights up. like she turns into a human lightbulb. and she’s like “damn okay so like that’s what happened on the boat when i passed the fuck out” so they take her to the palace bc i guess she’s the first person to ever have that power and it’s important bc it can get rid of the shadow fold or whateva. and basically the rest of the book is her trying to figure out her powers and the darkling trying to find this deer whose antlers will amplify her power and alina complaining about living in a castle blah blah blah.

so here’s why the show is better than the book:

her friend/guy she’s in love with is so fucking toxic in the book. he’s such a bitch to her and she’s just like lol okay ily and i’m like wtf? why do u like this piece of shit? he’s just rude man. and in the show i actually liked him. he tried his hardest to get to the palace and find her after they took her away unlike in the book when he didn’t do shit and when she finally saw him again he was mad at her for some reason idk i was like bro u gotta chill. so i’m glad he was chill in the show.

the darkling’s name in the show is “general kirigan” which is also pretty lame but SO much better than the darkling. no debate.

leigh bardugo has 7 books total taking place in this little universe (the shadow and bone trilogy, six of crows duology, and the king of scars duology) and they threw some of the characters from six of crows into the show for some reason. i was a little skeptical of how that was gonna go before the show came out bc shadow and bone and six of crows take place at different times and also i haven’t read six of crows yet but omg. i loved them. it’s this little squad of this ninja bitch, some guy w a cane who is hot af and (my favorite) this gay dude who mostly just talks about a goat. they were baddies and i was so happy they made a lil plot for them and put them in the show.

and those are really the only reasons. idk. i’d recommend both the book and the show but definitely the show a lil bit more.

now it’s time to talk some shit about everyone. (SPOILERS!!)

jesper: okay something important i need to say that my mom mentioned as we were watching the show: wouldn’t it have stank like shit when jesper fucked that one guy in the stables??? like dude no. literally do it ANYWHERE but there pls and thank u.

kaz: jesus fuck make a move you goddamn pussy holy shit

inej: okay first of all the actress who played her was GORGEOUS and she’s such a badass. kaz and jesper can’t do SHIT compared to her.

alina: she lowkey annoyed me a lil bit in the show. she ended up being the one who was a dick to mal instead of the other way around and it kinda made me sad but whatever. also the antlers in her skin omfg i gagged every time i saw it it was fucking disgusting.

mal: dear book mal, go fuck yourself. dear netflix mal, ily boo <3

the darkling/general kirigan: they chose an old ass dude to play him in the show. like in the book even though he’s like hundreds of years old, he’s only supposed to look like 20 and the homeboy who played him in the show is 39. mmm no. poor little 25 year old jessie who had to make out with this grandpa motherfucker.

genya: wtf was that tall ass collar she was wearing?? made the bitch look like she had no neck.

david: 🧍‍♂️. also you traitor motherfucker.

baghra: we needed more of her. i love that crusty bitch. kinda upset that she attacked mal in the show but whatever he was fine i guess? idk i liked her a lot more in the book lol.

nina: idk who tf this bitch was bc she aint in the book. her lil plot was boring tbh.

milo: queen milo i live for you.

and that’s it. thank u for reading.

[thiievesguild]

Why is Crow and Emrys problematic?

i love this i get to juxtapose my possibly least problematic character with the progenitor of the Complete Goblin™ side of the oc family tree

Emrys:

was a little bitch and did that whole "but if i kill this objectively terrible person who has caused a calculable sum of harm to the world and will continue to hurt people if i don't kill him, am i really any better than him" bullshit which i think is a lil problematique. but he did pussy up and kill the guy eventually so he gets a free pass on this one

just went off the shits during and after the Shivering Isles dlc

murdered a man in objectively cold blood to usurp his seat of power

willingly and deliberately mantled a Daedric Prince and took to the mantle with little resistance

actually is objectively one of my most problematic ocs and i can't even go into it bc it's major assd spoilers lmfaodjfb. but tl;dr commits like the worst possible sin against the gods and just horrifically profanes the Divines just because he had depression

Crow:

just steals everything their gay little hands can carry

genuinely. keeps having to change identities bc they can't stop fucking getting involved in major crime rings

more comfortable with murder than they really should be

has more bastard children than any dunmer has a right to

and yet keeps fucking adopting kids instead of raising their god damn bio kids

would unironically wear a Baby Slut crop top

a Blanche who wishes she was a Dorothy

is NOT "baby." stole a goat, scammed Ysolda out of a wedding ring, threw up on a statue of Kynareth, and made Martin run all over the damn place cleaning up after their messes and trying to find them. a baby would not do that

[sophygurl]

WisCon 43 panel Favorite Queer Depictions In Fiction write-up:

Whether it's a coming-of-age coming out story, a love story about queer characters, a drama or comedy centering the lives of a queer found family, or any old story that just includes a queer character or three without making a big thing about it—we all have out favorite queer stories. Whether it's books, TV shows, movies, video games, or something else, this is the panel to share the ones we love, and why we love them!

Moderator: Kate JohnsTon. Panelists:  Cat Meier, Charles Payseur, Sarah Waites, Alberto Yáñez

Disclaimers: These are only the notes I was personally able to jot down on paper during the panel. I absolutely did not get everything, and may even have some things wrong. Corrections by panelists or other audience members always welcome. I name the mod and panelists because they are publicly listed, but will remove names if asked. I do not name audience members unless specifically asked by them to be named. If I mix up a pronoun or name spelling or anything else, please tell me and I’ll fix it!

Notes:

I missed some of the panelist intro info, but Alberto identified himself as “queer AF” and Cat added “yes, I am also very queer.”

Kate asked the panelists to discuss what brought them to queer fiction, citing Mercedes Lackey as her intro point. She added “we existed and didn’t die in the first book.”

Sarah brought up Privilege of the Sword by Ellen Kushner. When she read it, she wasn’t consciously queer yet. Once she realized that she was, she began to read a lot more.

Alberto also mentioned Lackey, specifically Magic’s Pawn. He had gotten it as a library book and found someone had written in the front of it “this book is about f**gs” and he thought “well, alright then!” He also talked about the short story Things With Beards, a re-telling of The Thing through the lens of HIV/AIDS. 

Cat mentioned Henry Fitzroy as her first queer character love. [ I didn’t catch the specific work/author but it involved the bastard son of Henry the 8th as a bisexual vampire - a quick search shows me this is probably Tanya Huff’s Blood and Smoke novels?]

Kate brought up that queer characters often don’t get a family and asked the panelists about queer characters that either have found families or that remained in their families of origin. 

Cat talked about the novella Sing for the Coming of the Longest Night by Katherine Fabian and Iona Datt Sharma.

Alberto said that, as a Latino writer, he writes a lot about family “because some stereotypes are true.” 

Sarah mentioned that Becky Chambers writes about found family quite a bit. Another example was a world where homophobia doesn’t exist in a Beauty and the Beast re-telling - In the Vanisher’s Palace. 

Charles mentioned the found family in Jacqueline Koyanagi’s Ascension [also a fave of mine!], as well as Geometries of Belonging by Rose Lemberg. He also talked about Ursula Le Guin’s The Dispossessed as a story that imagines different ways of thinking about family and queerness, as well as Pan-Humanism: Hope and Pragmatics by Jess Barber and Sara Saab about decoupling possessiveness in relationships. 

Charles also said that he has written both kinds of stories - found family and family of origin, specifically mentioning a found family in his short story Undercurrents.

Kate talked about how the 60′s SF genre was a lot of men going into space without any women, but it was still supposed to be read as cishet. Now we’re at a point where we actually can send women without men into space and it tends to be read as queer. 

She also asked about stories where it’s not just the same nuclear family and/or gender binary but just with same-sex couples slotted in.

Alberto mentioned Nicola Griffith’s Ammonite, which is about a whole world that is female in many different expressions without having to label them all. 

Cat talked about being both queer and poly and feeling very seen by Sing for the Coming of the Longest Night more than any other book. Having an example of a poly community where all relationships are equally as important as one another. 

Sarah brought up The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley where the male/female nuclear family structure is just not possible. 

Charles again brought up Ascension as an example of family structures on space ships. Also Hurricane Heels by Isabel Yap, which has a magical girls trope - heavy on friendship but the importance of friendship is highlighted and some, but not all, in the friend group are queer. 

Kate talked about James Tiptree’s Houston Houston Do You Read and some of Melissa Scott’s work.

Cat added that Melissa Scott has a wide variety of books with queer relationships in them showing a range of queer experiences. The newest - Finders - has queer poly. 

Sarah talked about some of Scott’s fantasy series and the structure of the culture being that male/female relationships were for procreation but the expectation is that love is between same genders. [I didn’t catch the title of these books/the series]

Kate brought up bisexuality in fiction. She first noticed the lack of bisexual representation when she started dating a bi woman. 

Charles said “all I write is bisexual - even if it’s not explicit.” Since it’s generally assumed for people to be either gay or straight if it’s not mentioned, he likes to write worlds where it’s assumed for the characters to be bi. 

Charles also talked about bi rep in Rose Lemberg’s work - Birdverse, Splendid Goat Adventure, and A Portrait of the Desert in Personages of Power. 

Alberto said he wants more queer characters where the drama isn’t about their queerness. In real life, acceptance can take awhile but he’s been there for a long time now and for reading and writing - he’d like for the drama to be focused elsewhere. 

Cat talked about not knowing that bisexuality existed at 13 when she discovered Henry Fitzroy.

Kate talked about the importance of bi representation in creating understanding for others. “I’m a skier. I ski in the winter. It’s summer. I’m still a skier.” 

Kate brought up Sarah Gailey’s River of Teeth. Also Tanya Huff’s work [missed the title] about omnisexual aliens who would screw a hole in a donut and everyone’s happy about it! Also for YA/teen reading - Foz Meadows. 

Alberto mentioned Six of Crows and it’s sequel by Leigh Bardugo as having bisexuality and found family in it. [Gosh I need to get on to reading this series]

Cat brought up Peter Darling - a trans re-telling of Peter Pan with a Pan/Hook romance. [!!] Also The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue as well as The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee. The former has an ace character.

Sarah also rec’d the Guide to Petticoats and Piracy book. She is ace and the character in the book is ace and aro - society wants her to be one thing and she isn’t. Also the character gets called out on the “not like other girls” thing. 

Sarah also mentioned Chameleon Moon, which has a F/F/F triad, as well as an ace man with anxiety. Sarah wants more ace characters who are not sociopaths or robots.

Kate brought up the TV show Lucifer which is “really really really bisexual” [lol]. Kate also likes that the show doesn’t explain how Lucifer, who is white, has a black brother and an Asian sister.

Someone [I only wrote “C”, so either Cat or Charles? unless that meant continued and was Kate?] talked about Tanya Huff’s work having so many queer families with a variety of experiences.

Charles said there are a lot of examples that are just sad and messy.

Kate talked about lots of queer and black fiction is depressing because - “have you looked at our lives?” She added that we need more positive examples of queer characters. 

Alberto brought up Lara Elena Donnelly’s three books - Amberlough, Armistice, and Amnesty - which are about surviving fascism and rebellion. There’s crime, adventures, spies, etc. This is a strong recommendation.

Sarah added on to that by saying that this example of a dystopia is not about the queerness. Also talked about the Machineries of Empire series by Yoon Ha Lee [oh look! one of next year’s GoH’s!], which has no homophobia and almost all of the characters are queer. It also subverts the sociopathic ace trope - other characters think he is and he encourages that belief, but isn’t.

Charles mentioned a short story in Glittership Year Two [missed what it was], as well as The Root by Na'amen Gobert Tilahun which he said has a good depiction of queer families.

Kate posed the question of what there should be more queer characters in. She said video games and TV shows and that both should also be less male gaze-y.

Charles agreed with video games and said whether it’s a relationship game or not. He wants more background characters to be queer. He doesn’t want to have to headcanon it.

Sarah said “besides everything?” Big SFF movies, like the MCU - and that they should stop making such a big deal about adding super small scenes with queer characters. 

Alberto said more TV - especially for stuff aimed at kids and their parents. A good example of this is She-Ra.

Kate said it should be written in the stories - not retconned like Rowling does or killing them off right away. More 3D queer characters. She added that, especially having been out for most of her life, the struggling with queerness/coming out stories are getting old for her.

Cat mentioned movies that are adaptations that have queer characters in the source material, such as the MCU - there are lots of queer characters in the comics but they don’t make it to the TV shows or movies. 

Kate added that Deadpool keeps his pansexuality in the movies. Kate also wants more queer poc characters who are okay with who they are not evil aliens. This is a problem for white cishet Hollywood. 

Charles talked about the issues still affecting us from the Hays Code era legacy. Queer characters are always sad and end up dead - this was once enforced but has now just trickled down. 

Charles also said he enjoys cozy mysteries but the queer characters always die. There was one that he liked that was turned into a TV series and they finally had a queer character - the actor was leaving and the series could have given them a happily ever after but killed them off instead.

Sarah talked about the importance of diversity behind the scenes. It’s easier to get representation in a book because there is less gatekeeping, fewer hands in the pot. When everyone in the writer’s room of a show or movie are straight, it makes it harder.

Cat [I think? just wrote “C” again] mentioned The Wicked and the Divine - gods are reborn into people every 12 years - they’re all queer. [This was rec’d often this con - deffo need to read]

The audience got to throw out recs next. The ones I got down are: [I can’t find this in a search but it was something like Kaitlyn Sterling - Luminent... something? if anyone knows please chime in], Lifelode by Jo Walton, Ethan of Athos by Lois McMaster Bujold about a planet of men, A Door into Ocean by Joan Slonczewski about a world of women, A Big Ship at the End of the Universe by Alex White, The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley, “everything by Seanan McGuire” [agreed!!], and then apparently Magic: The Gathering has recently been doing some exploring of genderless species and also a trans warrior woman character. 

The audience were still tossing out recs when I left, so I did not get them all, nor any possible closing remarks by the panelists.  

[painted--elf]

MCHANZO AU WHERE MCREE IS A STUDENT LIVING IN JAPAN BECAUSE HE CAN GET A SCHOLARSHIP THERE TO LEARN WHATEVER WITH HIS RuDEMENTSRY JAPANESE!

Okay so Mcree gets a scholarship to this university in Tokyo with a group from the Overwatch international community college because the boy is a quick learner and took like a year or two of Japanese and can do okay in formal dilect but is kind of struggling with using casual (its the same thing for me even though ive been doing Japanese for four years now). So he’s going to be in Japan for the next five years (one to get a solid grip on Japanese and the other four to get a master’s in teaching/ history (he’s a history buff, tho he’s also game for being a spanish/english/japanese teacher)). And let’s say he’s Twenty for simplicites sake, which puts Hanzo at 21 and Genji at 18. (Also warning in advance, I overuse paranthese.)

In the program he gets into, he gets a host family. In his case, he gets the Shimada clan as his host family. Why does the Shimada do it? Probbly tax evasion, i dont know how rich crime synidates works and i dont really want to find out via irl experiences. 

Hanzo is closest in age to Mcree, so  he’s get put in charge of how Mccree get’s to uni, how he gets lunch, and tries to make sure that he doesnt bring shame to the family name. They find out very quickly that they go to the same University, though for diffrent majors (Mccree in Teaching/history and Hanzo in bussiness/mathmatics). At first he keeps Mccree at Arms length and is always civil though curt at times, but then he learns more about Mccree and starts getting a crush on him which leaves him flustered as hell but eventually he tries his hardest to flirt with him which both works and doesnt at the same time. He has the mentally of the golden child and the “i cant be the scape goat mentality”.

Genji is fresh out of high school and is hitting the rebellious phase full throttle. His hair is a diffrent color each month, he has peircings (probbly clip on/magnet ear rings at first because yeah... japan has stigma against actual peircings and while genji might be a yakuza, he’s a bit of baby), and gets a non-yakuza related tatto every month divisable by 3. (If you think thats child play and are a rebellious american teen, remeber that these thinks are considered pretty taboo. when i was at a very liberal school, my host sister still had clip on earings). He’s both the delinquent who is almost never at school, is asleep when he is there, and parties all night and the straight a student who gets good grades on all the hw and tests. Always compared to his brother. He constantly teaches Mccree cuss words and tries to get him to teach him Spanish cuss words. He acts like a hotshot/hot mess at first but later he reveals that he’s got a heart of gold in there somewhere. He constantly gives Hanzo shit about his crush on Mccree and does the same to Mccree. He’s not sure what he wants to do with his life, but he doesnt want to follow his familes footsteps. He’s also a big gaming nerd.

I should probbly talk about Jesse since I’m doing very deep bits about Genji and Hanzo. Let me just say that Mccree is smart. Thats a fact. He’s got a better than average grasp on mechanics (from hotwiring cars in his youth, fixing his prothestic with minor things, making a motorcycle with Gabe when he was older, and learning a bit more once he realized that there a sometimes Omnics who dont get the help they need), he’s so well trained with a gun that it’s not really a joke anymore when he calls it dead eye, can take apart a gun in seconds, knows how to ride a horse, can cook pretty well, and stealthy as hell when he needs to be. And he’s at least bilingual. These might come as a surpise to those who think he’s just a cowpoke because he doesnt boast much. He was part of deadlock until he was 15, when Deadlock was broken up by the san fran police. He got adopted by Gabriel reyes and Jack Morrison and has an adopted sister who went by Sombra for a year before they finally found out that her name was Olivia.

So we have Mccree thrust into a new family drama which he takes in stride and tries to help where he can. He acts polite and doesnt “disrespect the clan” (he’s speaking formal japanese almost 25/8, quickly learning how to use Kego (the highest form of japnese which reserved for extremely higher ups like company presidents, priniples, gods, and probbly yakuza bosses), correcting any cultural accidents, ect), he tries to make sure that Hanzo gets more friends/and is able to leave his shell (introduces Hanzo to the rest of his group (which consists of Miora, Mei, Zenyatta, Widowmaker, and Mercy who are both in running start), acts competive with him, pesters Hanzo to act childish), he tries to get both brothers some help mentaly/emotionally (at first he tries getting them therapy, but relizes they dont know how bad their mental health is so he has to struggle to give them enough support that they can help themselves but somtimes he had to have interventions with them), and acts like a mentor figure to Genji (encourages his indivually, gives him advice when he needs it, encourages him to seek diffrent routes that the one he’s been given, calmly defends Genji’s choices to his family/the elders).

If i ended up writing this, it would be a hell of a slow burn and have a slight crossover with a comic i really like, Sakana because i remeber I went to the big Fishmarket on my first day in Tokyo. So i guess they would go to the fish market fairly often and interact with Jiro, Taro, and Yuudai. The Shimada bros probbly have some history with Taro because obviously has Yakuza ties. Yuudai is very passive agressive with Mccree but is very Gay about Hanzo. jiro is an anxious man.

Ships that i would probbly include would problly be: Mchanzo, One-sided Gency (from Genj because I dont really enjoy the ship but he probbly whould have a crush when he was younger), Moira/Mercy (when Mercy is like 20 or something and its temprary because that seems like a thing that would end in a year after all the ust and shit stops fueling their realtionship), Genyatta (originally part of the Give-Genji-a-support-system plan that Mccree had but Genji fell hard, either way it worked), Reaper76 (really fucking background because i like them pre-exploding lol), Chie/Jiro, Yuudai/Taisei

Random things I’ve thought of in this au:

Line, the app. Everyone in Japan has this.

www vs lol (they are the same but probbly mccree, mercy, micheal would use lol/lmao while Hanzo, Genji, Zenyatta, Mei use www. Moira and Widow use neither)

genji: your so wise Zen, how old are you

Zen: im 3

christmas, in general.

Mccree helping Genji with his first real peircings

Mccree becoming a teacher at the university for the second generation of  overwatch kids

widow and Hanzo being salty friends while Mei and Hanzo are adorable science friends

everyone hates the crows

Mercy works part-times at the shop Jan works in and tries to help him with his Japanese

ana is the japanese sensei who is helping them, encouraged Mccree to start taking japanese

there is alwaus at least one vending machine mentioned per chapter

trans hanzo

hanzo, and mccree have prothetics

[joeyisaprincess]

Millennial

They Are Children

Noctis goes to pet one of Wiz’s chocobos, but it turns away and actively ignores him. His eyes glaze over with tears. “Why don’t you love me?”

Gladio drops his phone. When he bends over to pick it up, his pants rip along the seam. He is too thicc, and his jeans are to skinny.

Ignis dominates the kitchen, but he is horrible at Cooking Mama. It wounds his pride. He stays up late trying to complete every single recipe. He loses sleep. The game is stupid, and that’s not how you cut lettuce.

The boys visit a farm. A baby goat takes a shining to Prompto. It’s his goat now.

Cindy is a lesbian. She’s come out of the closet to Cid dozens of times. She knows that Cid knows what it means to be gay; he was friends with Regis... Cindy kisses her girlfriend and Cid remarks that they must be very close friends.

Nyx has eaten nothing but pizza rolls and crackers. He thinks to himself that he should eat something more substantial as he shoves another fistful of half-frozen pizza rolls into his mouth.

It has been a very long time since Crowe has encountered a straight person. She is beginning to doubt their existence.

Lunafreya buys a kit-kat. She comes up to Ravus and takes a bite out of it without breaking it. He leaves his own room.

Aranea isn’t sure what’s happening, but she’s positive she doesn’t get paid enough.

[josealtuveandarishapirolove-blog]

José Altuve & Ari Shapiro ❤ U

and

too

and as I type this and take stock

I’m also calculating how much holiday trouble I can make (having given up being inoffensive or anodyne), alternating between a fact-based article about fact-based journalism and a blog about Lauren Conrad’s body positive stretchy jeans, and subconsciously beta-testing performance indicators for an insta post

uhh yeah

my love is compromised

but that’s who I am: not 100% whole

my New Year’s resolutions were 1) getting a doll bed for my phone so I could tuck her in each night, 2) elevating my toilet reading, and 3) kissing friends on the lips

I didn’t do any of that

I prayed and read about feminism and gender identity

my sixth graders did some writing. One girl wrote about her plan to cartwheel over a couch. Another girl wrote about painting the night sky on a backdrop for an extracurricular she called Trauma Club

a boy described painting grenade lines on avocados

a few weeks later I had a dream where I saw the boy on a street corner. “Do you want to war with me?” he asked. “I’ve got a Longstrike Sniper Rifle and a Mega CycloneShock Blaster”

“no,” I said. “I do not want to war with you”

“awww,” he said, “but look at the crows overhead. They’re cawing with sorrow”

sorrow’s solution isn’t war, and there isn’t going to be goodness without it

I fkn agree about those crows overhead

“Jan,” “Feb,” and “March” JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

I cleaned the living room and went to bed

are you there, durable story structure? Are you there, meaningful artifice? It’s me, Derek

what’s this deception

(from my people: the dishonest editing of the Melania-staring-at-her-feet-during-the-inauguration-ceremony clip; the supposed #dapl photographs of tipis burning; the fake “drafts” of LGBTQ-related executive orders; 3 rows of cheerleaders vs. “personal cheerleading squad” at CIA)

me with fake hair

finishing a bottle of wine but unable to finish a glass

closing my eyes and pairing Harajuku Barbie with Jamaican Drake, and Roman Zolanski with Houston Drake

ignorant of the 10 Taylors

repeating, I will not live in the past, I will not

revert to nostalgia like Diana Ross’ ‘96 Super Bowl performance, the helicopter swooping her up because she's not sticking around

kay reverting for one sec

the gold dress @ 8:32!!!

kay b2b 

layered comforters

to a place so quiet my thoughts shake drops of water from the branches outside the widow

to a place so dark I wear a harness that’s festooned with flowers and bows, woven like a doily, and no one says anything

the fan hummed on 1

NPR played but I didn’t hear

Kelly McEvers, Audie Cornish, or Robert Siegel

only Ari Shapiro with his huffy-bike-with-pink-flares-on-a-gravel-driveway voice penetrated the astronaut foam around my head

he considered all things

debating space and funding for intentional provocation on college campuses, re-drawing the lines between what government law requires and what personal ethics suggest, and delineating parameters human civilizations desire and individual moralities expect

eyes closed

I imagined I was Ari’s secretary, answering phones and saying “Ari is investigating how referring to Taiwan’s Tsai Ing-wen as the ‘President of Taiwan’ could destabilize thirty-seven years of work, but sure, he’ll speak to you in his sexay graveled lilt”

despite my superficially strong chin, dishpan eyes, depression naps, and inability to engage my older brother on anything meaningful, I could

answer phones

maybe

I wasn’t gonna be like Obama and drop a 56-page article in the Harvard Law Review on the topic of criminal justice reform and the president’s role in reducing mass incarceration today

or toomar

but with Ari on the radio

and Channing modeling rising strong

I could get

despite chronic uncertainty caused by an inflammatory opportunistic provocateur with ideological inconsistencies / blank slate relying on establishment voices to “drain the swamp”

Cirque du Soleil aluminum cubes spinning in my airspace

and knowing for sure that shapeshifting parenting is abusive parenting

“unlearning abuse also means unlearning the abusive behaviors that you inherited as survival tactics” (Chachi Yaniré)

I did it

nah we did it

we got outta bed

with a work mindset

and looked outside

asking, how do we conduct opposition research on family members?

and other questions we never thought to ask

so vehemently and often

how long until climate change drives beachfront property owners to poor mountain communities?

how does the whole butter movement compare to the camel’s milk revolution?

how do we transform the story of a street protest into a cultural norm?

should I trust the professional computer security expert / “shoe cobbler” down the street?

should every student have a laptop?

which of the “gay” traits can be said to be primarily innate, and which are socialized?

do you love my long fingers, my petite nose, regardless?

steak house or gay bar?

pocket constitution?

how come it’s legal to pay someone to have sex on camera but not legal to pay them irl?

what’s sacred about the connection between body and mind?

when it comes to H-1B visas, shouldn’t we consider global needs 50-100 years from now over the contributions STEM workers can make to the national economy this market period? 

what’s our dream collective skill-set?

what’s the first line of resistance?

18-year-old George Harris placing flowers in the rifle barrels of National Guardsman in a 1967 march on the Pentagon (Bernie Boston photo)

licensed practical nurse Ieshia Evans facing Baton Rouge law enforcement for protesting the shooting of Alton Sterling (Jonathan Bachman photo)

looking listening learning

harder when “a point made by a subculture at home on Facebook might look funny to another on Twitter, which can read as evidence of a conspiracy to yet another on YouTube, which might be seen as offensive on Tumblr, which could be a joke on Reddit”

one slip of the mouth opens floodgates of history (institutional identities / historical selves matter more than shared experiences, even in friendships. Also, I am racist in ways I will never know)

growing up gay is “bad for you in many of the same ways growing up in extreme poverty” is bad for you (effects are more than simply learning to manage one’s manners and mannerisms)

some rural LGBTQ people foster community where they live (rather than contribute to queer flight)

the disadvantages of race, class, and gender are multiplicative (not additive)

neo-liberals speak in tones of uncompromising/absolutist moral righteousness while neo-conservatives advocate for relativism (like, “woke” is the same in-or-out language of ye olde evangelicals and rural militias, and more evangelicals than ever say officials who behave immorally in private can still fulfill civic duties)

wtf but

life is brief but spectacular

the elders know

elders who talk comfortably and knowingly about death and any/everything

like Margaret Atwood, author of The Handmaid’s Tale. She doesn't anger easily but stays surprised and puzzled, and loves Legally Blonde and Miss Congeniality

Pulitzer/Nobel Prize winner Toni Morrison: “They have this thing, maybe you can explain it to me, where you have a little bathing suit on but you cannot expose a nipple… I don’t understand what they’re talking about. It’s the first thing you put in your mouth when you’re born”

Patricia Michelson builds the perfect cheeseboard (mild to strong: goat cheese for a fresh start; then earthy, mushroomy, rustic; hard greiere, nutty and fruity; pungent and metallic blue for the grand finale)

we can listen & learn!!!

about the world and ourselves

like, feeling loved, cared for, and welcomed in my community no matter my skill set is a HUGE way I experience privilege

and I want more people to have that with me

like, I tell people I value unspoken civil norms but evidence says I suck at some of the explicit spiritual ones, like forgiveness

“pettiness has to do with being out of scale…You are being petty when a small or seemingly irrelevant detail generates disproportionate irritation”

nobody’s/everybody’s family is going to change

charizomai forgiveness interventions

I must practice

when we say happiness is an “inside job,” we lie. We pay for experiences that include people to talk to, like personal training

true culture change strategists and reconciliation-aries do more than discuss the effect of Pepe memes on national polarization. #selfcare is collective care, and We the People protect each other

kneeling on turf and walking one inch higher above cracks in the sidewalks, the visible congregation of shared values empowers us

think of the successes

judges striking down Muslim Bans 1.0/2.0

scientists backing up NASA's earth science data

journalists working out like Ruth Bader Ginsburg: leg presses, chest flies, lat pull-downs, one-legged squats, push-ups, and planks

if not, watching PBS’ NewsHour like she does

picking one thing to be a leader on, one thing to be a follower on, and one thing to make a habit out of

draining the swamp… of Hollywood. In the same way we’re thinking about where our food comes from, we’re thinking about where our art comes from and who produced it, and changing casting couch culture (same for halls of power and legislation sources)

tracking each phase of the backlash wave

like

when R. Kelly shows you who he is in 1994, believe him 

in many ways we made a better country

women illustrators designed emoji alternatives to the red stiletto

student activists at the University of Washington protested until Nike let a watchdog group inspect factories overseas

the 1/4 immigrant Seattle Symphony gave a free concert featuring music from the seven Muslim-majority nations

which is to say 

when you roll into the carnival

anything can happen

Harvard gave their “Humanitarian of the Year” award to Robyn Rihanna Fenty, who ran her fingers up and down her ponytail (40:45) and talked about her grandma giving advice on sharing a dollar (45:43)

Lebron called the president a bum

Grenoble, France replaced over 300 outdoor advertisements with trees and community notices... Scotland produced wind power exceeding the country’s electricity needs... the Australian same-sex marriage bill got signed into law... Saudi Arabian women gained the right to drive cars on streets and watch soccer in stadiums

new research shows child slavery has declined by 40% in the last sixteen years, and parents are spending twice as much time with their kids as they did 50 years ago

Andrew Puzder (former executive of Hardee's and Carl's Jr. with a $1 million+ base salary who wanted to keep minimum wage under $9) withdrew his nomination for Secretary of Labor

Astros second baseman José Altuve

shimmied

who woulda predicted such goodness???

we promised to stay sharp and bloom despite the conditions

Marcos Ramírez and Margarita Garcia Asperas put up a mirror and built a banquet table into the border wall, holding a communal dinner at the table to create the illusion of people eating a cross-border meal

Michael and I said yes to love even when it was difficult, even when we were cranky. We went to the Days Inn in Bellingham to hang out and set relationship goals. I love and count on him so much

I looked at Angelica Kauffmann’s “Cornelia Pointing To Her Children As Her Treasure” from 1785. The lady gestures I SEE YOUR JEWELS AND RAISE YOU MY CHILDREN, putting people over pearls

now we

help neighbor kids find their way

change the electoral map with our long-game/con

use the YOU ARE NOT ALONE shower curtain as a parachute

make “second-tier superpower” U.S. better than first-tier superpower U.S. by adding “reputation for extravagant generosity” to our military might and GDP

work to protect those we love with our voices, our currency, our social capital, our sacred swords, our courageous kisses infected with friendly bacteria

follow international ethics standards at dinner

loop the A Wrinkle in Time trailer

stop by my apartment in the next few weeks

there used to be a crack in the wall you could slide a piece of paper through, but our property manager filled it with putty

Oprah wants warriors

and if you're serious about joining my Golden Girls community in 2050, you should get used to coming over

I am a hermit unafraid to end on a weird note so let me add

my brother and I helped my parents move across the state. My dad drove the UHaul and my brother and I drove different pickup trucks. My dad has beliefs about how trucks should be driven, so we didn’t go over 55 mph

in some ways, driving on the road next to my brother while not being in the same car as him provided necessary bonding

and add that to the fact that

The Honorable Representative Maxine Waters has great ❤ 4 U

José Altuve & Ari Shapiro have great ❤ 4 U

& I have great ❤ 4 U

we’ve got lots of ❤ and goodness going around

if all goes according to plan, the first time you eat Bisquick sausage balls this holiday season will be the fourth or fifth time they’ve been served

come kiss me on the lips!

D

this newsletter endorses: 

Michael’s quarterly Spotify playlists

The New York Times’ Still Processing podcast

Margo Price and Loretta Lynn and Tammy Wynette

Fergie on journaling in the midst of holy war

the homosexual on Star Trek: Discovery

Fifth Harmony’s purposeful pop

venison sausages

drag queens

hair nah

Superstore

SWOT analyses

Medicated Blistex in lil’ tubs

Sufjan Stevens’ “Tonya Harding (in D major)”

strolling Hallelujah Lane to visit the Apostles (twelve live oak trees)

oregano oil: an anti-inflammatory, anti-allergenic, antimicrobial, antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal miracle… that fights infections, regulates menses, and calms hypersensitivities... AT ONCE

staying on fire

credits: much-needed endless hug GIF by Tuna Bora ■ person in bed with wine and laptop post “pizza-party” illustration by Kathryn Rust ■ anger channeler GIF (”How can we channel our outrage and grief?”) by Wilhelmina Peragine ■ “Rise Up!” GIF by Mighty Oak ■ the first three of which I found in my fave newsletter of the year, the Ann Friedman newsletter ■ Same for the one below, Barbed Holidays by A.L. Crego ■ Still Processing podcast rec from Heidi Lally ■ parachute shower curtain and aviator wings reality by Betty Wetter / Scotty Boom Boom Cayton ■ Profile pic by Jonathan Ursin ■ Brené Brown’s Rising Strong from Gian Bruno ■ Oregano oil from Brandon Dombrowsky