#the girl who ate the gods
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I just read what’s up of the girl who ate the gods and I need to ramble/ scream about it so I thought who better to say it to than the writer
First of OH MAY GOD I LOVE IZT SO MUCH the concept and the characters chosen for each role is *chefs kiss* and as someone who is doing a class in classics I’m absolutely feral about this
Okay, Pansy is giving me such strong Evelyn Hugo vibes that I’m dying,,, like the control she has of her entire world and of the people around her using their desire of her and the way she turns their wants into her own power is so Evelyn coded that I can’t even cope. Her saying that it wouldn’t be a chore to fuck Theo was so beautifully framed, like the fancy myth-y language being undercut by the (objectively) crude ‘fucking’ was genuine art. She literally orchestrates an entire war for motives unknown!!! And I feel pity for her even while feeling simultaneously that she could (and would) step on my face and I would thank her for it
Ariana really thinking that she was there to marry harry is actually breaking my heart :( the very first time Hermione questioned why she was there I thought ‘we’re missing an iphegeneia, aren’t we?’ But even then it still killed me that she died (AND that Albus killed her too like her own brother- which mirrors canon in such a beautiful and heartbreaking way oh my god) and she feels so young too. And also the parallels between her and pansy make me want to scream. Like pansy knows her own power/ use is a cruel one and uses it to benefit herself, but Ariana believes that her use is a soft one, then discovers that hers is a cruel one too but due to her naivety she dies and cannot use it. And the way that the only time we as readers actually hear her speak as as she unknowingly offers herself up for death is the most beautiful, saddest thing ever
Hermione!!! She already seems so clearly suited to Pansy in behaviour and attitude (girls in a mysogenistiv world who gain power despite it)(girlbosses) and yet also so different, and yet the same again. Like pansy uses other peoples physical desires to get what she wants, but Hermione doesn’t. But then Hermione uses harry and the people she loves to keep Albus on her side and to keep her home safe and in the end she’s using what Albus wants to get what she wants, just like pansy.
And she’s so pragmatic too like she is fully embracing/coping with the brutality of her world to keep the power she needs. Also her and lily were so fascinating because they feel so similar to me even if Hermione can’t see it. Hermione, harry and Ron being friends too but with a shifted dynamic into this mythological setting where the stakes are shifted feels so perfect and I want to scream
I also love love love that this is pansmione centric bc the idea of a sapphic ship in a setting of mysogyny and warfare makes me so so happy
I have thoughts about Ron and harry too but I think I already commented them (? I have no memory of anything I say so maybe I did, maybe I didn’t)
(Also side note does the title mean we get to meet any gods bc I love the idea of gods interacting with mortals smmm)
ANYWAYS I loved this so so so much it was genuinely incredible, best thing ever, I want to eat it, etc. Thank you for writing it!!!!1 <333
eeeee!!!! yay i love this fic!
Pansy is my Helen redemption, I feel like she is always portrayed as being a pawn or being some lovesick, naive, little girl who is too beautiful for her own good, but her story is hardcore, like first of all, of all the famous warriors and heroes who go to Troy and die, she lives, and I feel like people don't give her enough credit for that, for the political maneuvering that goes into it, also the fact that she is raped by a god when she's just a kid, i think she is way more jaded than people usually write her, also if you read the iliad it is like 90% her and hector just shitting on Paris, I fully believe that she runs away with him because she thinks Troy is her best bet of defeating her piece of shit husband, so yeah, Pansy is very cut throat and very scheme-y and always has an ulterior motive, which is gonna make the relationship that will develop between her and Hermione super interesting
part of what made me want to write this au in the first place is how well i feel like Dumbledore, Aberforth, Harry and Hermione fit these roles, and all the parallels that you can make with canon and how much you can play around with the "chosen one" narrative that harry potter and the iliad are a part of.
i also love fitting female characters into this super masculine story and i also like just not explaining it, like obviously there are some gender politics going on with Pansy, but like, Hermione is a commander and a king and it's just like, yup, that is how it is.
I do want to throw some god stuff in there! (the founders will be stand ins for the gods)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR MESSAGE IT MADE MY DAY
#i will get back to this fic#one day#i wish writing was easier#or that like it was my job#sighs#soph rambles#the girl who ate the gods
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Certified man-hater? Certified misandrist Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, Dot, fuck 'em up
#riri verses🖋#image source: pinterest#i'm just a girl#girlhood#girlblogging#girlboss#i hate men#girl blogger#girlblogger#girlrotting#femcel#female hysteria#female insanity#just girly thoughts#this is what makes us girls#girl rotting#tumblr girls#me when men#female rage#female manipulator#men are the problem#happy misandrist#except there ate exceptions ofc to certain men who are actually MEN#this is a girlblog#i'm going insane#i'm going crazy#lana del rey#i don't need a man but god i want a man
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Fluent Freshman - Part 18
PREVIOUS
Weirdly enough the only thing that FF can think of as they head down the stairs is the first Saw movie.
That one happened IN a bathroom right? He kind of watched all of them in a row to prepare himself for whatever Andrew might decide to do to him. But he’s near positive that one happened in a bathroom. It was derelict and he didn’t think it really had running water (or did it? Didn’t the guy wake up in a half-full tub? His memory is hazy in his bathroom related desperation and may be trying to protect him from thinking about water).
All leading to the main thought going through his head as he slowly headed down the narrow stairway to his death.
Would Andrew let him use the facilities before he’s handcuffed to a pipe?
The worst part about all of this is that he is not sure if he needs to take a dump or if he just needs to fart, he knows he has to take a piss. He’s read that when you die your body will relax and it’ll all just flow out of you and Nicky gave him these pants so he feels bad but he also does not want to face his death without pants. If he needs to take a shit then they’re definitely going to be absolutely ruined, if it’s a fart well…Andrew can’t kill him any further? He can mutilate his corpse a little but FF won’t be around to experience it.
No matter what he’s definitely going to piss himself. He had way too much water at Sweeties trying to consume the spicy ice cream.
You may be wondering why FF has not run away from his predicament and is walking down these steps without protest or comment or plea for his life.
First of all he is pretty sure that if he makes any sudden movements he will ruin these pants that Nicky bought for him. Second of all Andrew had already told him once that he wouldn’t accept any pleading for mercy he still remembers how he asked Andrew, “Please give me back my pen?” and Andrew had shot him a look that had his stomach cramp and his fingers itch for the bottle sweet pink relief in his backpack.
“I don’t like that word, don’t use it around me.” He said.
FF ever the pragmatic sort, “Which one?” He had asked because he had said a few, “I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” He followed up with when Andrew glowered at him only for the glare’s intensity to increase 10 fold.
“Don’t use the first word of your first statement or the last word of your second.” Andrew grit out and got up to leave without a word.
Message received loud and clear Andrew did NOT like words ‘Please’ or ‘Misunderstanding’.
So FF knows that any pleading for mercy would ABSOLUTELY result in Andrew not letting him take a bathroom break before him and Captain Neil make destroying him into a couple activity. The fact that Captain Neil is here is a bit of a shock but maybe Captain Neil has finally gotten the other Freshman Dealer up to snuff.
Maybe Kevin really did want to dissect him to figure out how Strikers keep passing straight to him?
They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs.
Ah, time to face the music.
At least he’d texted Gran that he was going to die when they had gotten into the club and the bathroom had not made itself readily apparent. Sure it was about his current ‘gotta piss / gotta shit’ situation but he’d been wise to keep his cause of death vague in that text.
The door opens and…
This is the NICEST torture chamber FF has EVER seen. (And after his desperation watch of all the Saw movies he has seen quite a FEW)
“Minyard, Josten, and Guest. Table 6 is yours.” A voice comes from the side and when he looks over there’s a man in quite a nice uniform standing behind a soft-lit bar polishing a glass looking every bit like a bar tender at those high-end places you see in movies. He looks around a bit more and there are some other people down here. It’s not quiet per se but it is a comfortable level of noise in comparison to the IQ dropping noise upstairs.
“C’mon Smith.” Andrew juts his chin towards a table in the back.
FF follows but continues to try and fit this nice little room into his world view.
Do these people watch other people get tortured to death for fun on a Friday night? Unlikely considering the upholstery on the booths and chairs looked like it’d stain if blood got on it. Was this perhaps a trafficking location where Andrew would sell off his organs to the highest bidder? He looked at the other patrons who seemed a bit higher class than the general club scene upstairs but not like they had the money to buy one of his kidneys. Maybe-
“Do not tell Nicky about this place, ever.” Andrew says as they slide into the booth. FF nods but can’t help but tilt his head slightly in an unspoken question, “He would absolutely tell any and everyone about it. Eden’s wants to keep this place a secret from the general public.” Andrew explains.
“Nicky currently thinks that there’s a straight swingers club down here.” Captain Neil says with a huff of laughter.
“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.” Floats through his head again.
What the fuck was a swinger?
His fingers itch for his phone but he’s currently talking with Andrew and Captain Neil so that’d be rude but they’re talking to him like he absolutely knows what a swinger is and he DOES NOT.
“It’s quieter down here. Figured you’d prefer it.” Andrew says as he gets up and heads towards the bar down here where the bartender was aggressively cutting ice chunks.
He and Captain Neil sit in silence for a few seconds before Captain Neil offers him a slight smile, “I know you’d rather be with your grandma and you and Andrew prefer not to say things out loud but we’ve really liked hanging out with you.” Captain Neil says.
????????????????????????????????????????????????
That’s such a nice thing to say to someone.
Especially someone like FF.
Especially especially when they’re planning on killing him?
He hopes his confusion stays off his face as he nods once. “It’s been fun.” It’s not even really a lie. Thanksgiving yesterday had been nice and loud and FF had missed the chaos of a Family Dinner more than he had ever realized. The car ride had been…a time but once he’d asked Andrew to either keep his eyes on the road or let him out Andrew’s hands had stayed at 10 and 2 and the ride had been smooth. Aaron and Nicky’s weight against him had been nice too, a warm memory before he developed a possible life long aversion to whipped cream. He’d gotten to go Black Friday shopping and Captain Neil even helped carry it home for him. Baking bad been nice even if the stress of doing it with his life on the line was less so. The subsequent nap and day spent doing normal college guy things had been…it’d all been nice.
It’s starting to feel like….
“Drink this.” Andrew puts a drink down in front of him.
No Andrew definitely wants his bladder to burst.
“What is it?” He asks instead looking at the creamy looking drink with suspicion.
Andrew rolls his eyes as he hands Neil a fruity looking drink as he sits with what is a few fingers of scotch. “It’s virgin.” Andrew says not answering the question at all and must pick up that FF won’t be drinking it until he gets the full answer because he continues after a moment, “It’s like a Pina Colada but with bananas instead.” Andrew answers.
It’s not that FF hates banana but why in the world would Andrew grab him this? Was it just one of the few virgins options on this place’s fancy menu or-
“Bananas will help get your stomach acid back down.” Andrew says, “Since you’re an idiot and ate that mango ice cream just because you wanted to impress that girl.” He rolls his eyes.
“Impress that girl?” There weren’t any girls at the table and how in the world would him eating that god-forsaken spicy ice cream impress anyone other than Betsy. Even Betsy would only be impressed by the depths he was willing to reach just to avoid what he perceives as an awkward social situation.
“The waitress.” Neil reminds him as if that cleared anything up.
“Yeah,” he says as if he has understood the conversation but he has not. “It was spicy mango.” He says because maybe if he keeps the conversation going he’ll get enough context clues to understand what might be his last conversation.
Andrew let out a huff of laughter and pushed FF’s drink closer to him, “Drink your fancy Banana smoothie Casanova.” He says.
No closer to understanding the conversation he accepts that it might be something that only becomes clear after he sheds his mortal coil and is no longer given a -10 INT debuff by his full bladder and revolting stomach.
He takes a sip.
Oh that’s actually pretty good.
It feels like he can feel it sizzling in his stomach and soothing the discomfort there. Maybe he should look into Banana smoothies as a replacement for what Abby has called a ‘concerning co-dependence’ in regards to Pepto Bismol. No one can put him on a medical watch if it’s just banana smoothies he’s chugging down like they’re going out of style.
“Thanks,” he says, “that was good.” He admits before reaching into his jacket and moving past the Megamind toy and grabbing his wallet. “What do I owe you for that?” He asks.
“We’re even.” Andrew waves away the money.
“You bought the stuff for breakfast, those brownies, and the pie tomorrow.” Neil says and FF blinks surprised to hear that they were talking about the pie he didn’t think he was going to get the chance to make.
“You don’t need to buy a spot with us.” Andrew says and FF leans back slightly at the intensity on Andrew’s face as he says it. “I invited you here because I wanted to. The brownies were good but if you don’t feel like making the pie tomorrow? It’s not like I’m going to drive you back to Palmetto and leave you on Abby’s doorstep.” He says.
FF feels gears start to turn in his head.
“It’s good pie.” He hears himself say.
“I didn’t even know about the pie when I invited you.” Andrew says and…
Andrew and FF sit in silence but honestly it’s not like Andrew’s sharpening his knives. The two of them mostly just do their own work or read. FF has been getting his German literacy up to snuff so that he can read the language when he goes there to visit Nicky’s fiance next year. He likes how serious Andrew is about learning it so that he doesn’t have to ask Captain Neil a thousand questions and it’d be nice if Andrew wasn’t obviously planning on murdering him.
Andrew brings dried apples and sends Captain Neil along with probiotic yogurts to their meetings. Both of those things tend to soothe his stomach and the yogurt that had been unflavored before was now vanilla which he liked a fair bit. It would have been a really nice gesture if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew was making fun of his tummy troubles.
Andrew will put his foot down in practice sometimes when Kevin is getting too demanding wanting to know exactly how FF intercepted his passes to Neil. Kevin always backs off and Andrew will do the same when Jack starts to get a little too personal in his attacks at FF or when Sheena decides she’s going to be a bitch. It’d be nice if it wasn’t Andrew staking his claim that he was the one who was going to make FF’s life miserable.
Andrew drove FF around for an hour after Greg had shown up. He found out later from one of his friends that Andrew had threatened Greg after he had power walked away into the building. Andrew had driven him around and had only started heading towards the tower when FF had relaxed. It would have been nice if Andrew wasn’t trying to lure him into a false sense of security.
Andrew had invited him to his Family’s house over Thanksgiving when the bad storm had ruined his Thanksgiving plans. Andrew had threatened Jack to stop him from eating his Grandma’s pie and complaining about it. Andrew had stopped messing around with Captain Neil when FF had made it clear he was uncomfortable being in a car where the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road. Andrew had twice made him go to bed in the last couple hours.
It’d be nice if…
“We’ve really liked hanging out with you” Captain Neil had said.
Andrew was just trying to be nice.
Embarrassment rolls over him like a wave but FF has many years of pretending like he’s not going to die from embarrassment, “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll still probably make the pie tomorrow.” He offers.
Andrew’s eyes change slightly and FF is under the impression that he’s happy to hear that.
“Just enjoy your drink Smith.” Andrew says.
FF does go back to sipping his drink and letting more and more memories of things Andrew had done come to him and lets his embarrassment grow.
He finishes his drink and only then realizes that he is a code red in terms of bladder capacity. The new knowledge that this is not a torture chamber but in fact yet another overture of friendship from Andrew paired with his desperation finally loosens the question from his mouth, “Where’s the bathroom here?” He asks.
“There isn’t one downstairs but just head up stairs and hug the wall to the left.” Captain Neil answers.
“Bring your phone. If Frank doesn’t recognize you to let you back in.” Andrew reminds him.
FF nods and heads out of the club and up the stairs.
He might be doing a bit of a potty dance so he forces himself to become unnoticeable because he does not need cool people at a cool club to see him about to piss himself. Once he enters into a stealth mode that the United States Military would like to talk to him about he hugs the wall and nearly cries tears of relief when he sees a door labelled MEN.
He doesn’t think about the possibility of letting up on stealth mode because he is sure that he is about to make a face that he does NOT want any human being to see when he unzips his pants and starts to take the world’s most life-affirming piss on the planet.
As his bladder empties his brain is able to process the understanding that he had come to down in the basement he had thought would be his final resting place.
Andrew has been trying to be nice (and succeeding it was all so nice! He feels like an asshole! He is an asshole! Gran always told him that assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me. He had just thought it was funny grandma humor not valuable life advice!)
The night wasn’t going to end with Andrew’s knife in his stomach, it was probably just going to end with Nicky puking on his shoes (which is fine because these are the shoes Nicky was letting him borrow for the club anyways, they’re his shoes to puke onto.)
A secondary relief fills his system. His stomach, soothed by the Banana smoothie and now this, feels like it might actually let him live through the night.
While FF was distracted with a piss that would have made any number of cult leaders jealous with the number of divine revelations he was experiencing he failed to notice a second man enter the bathroom.
There was a reason that FF always ALWAYS became noticeable when he was at a urinal and the man who came to the urinal right next to him was showcasing that VERY reason.
He was trapped here for at least ten more seconds and he could hear the man grumbling distractedly but didn’t really pay it too much attention until…
“Fucking Wesninski Brat.” He grumbled under his breath.
Oh god dammit.
NEXT
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
Per your requests:
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear
#Fluent Freshman AU#FINALLY CAN PUT DOWN MY TAGS#You have no idea the number of times that I had to sing hollaback girl to myself during this#It was B-A-N-A-N-A-S#We have now closed the 'Andrew is going to crazy murder me' emotional arc#The 'Oh god if Andrew or Neil find out that I know Russian they're going to stop being my friends and hate me' arc begins#He's gotten a confirmed 3 friends today#And he got to go to the bathroom#He's riding a high#Not only is it 3 friends it is 3 friends who like him enough to invite him to spend the holiday break together#That's so nice#Andrew is so nice#FF cannot BELIEVE he thought Andrew 'eat these dried apples' Minyard was going to stab him#Captain Neil is lucky to have him#Also Andrew is lucky to have Captain Neil#Neil and Andrew are definitely down in the Speakeasy right now enjoying FF's bathroom break#Andrew's ordered FF another round of Banana daiquiri#Andrew: I can't believe he ate that ice cream. His stomach must have been killing him.#Neil: Yeah he was really pale and sweaty until he started drinking that banana drink#Neil: I'm a little worried about Smith finding the bathroom. Maybe I should go up?#Andrew hand on Neil's thigh: he'll be fine. We can go look if he's not back in 10.#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#AFTG#AFTG Shitpost#AFTG Fic#My Fic#Andreil#FF - Pt.18
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As someone who knew nothing about the world of Faerun when starting BG3, when Shadowheart was talking about being a worshipper of Shar and keeping it a secret I was like “aw babes don’t worry i don’t believe in religious persecution :)”
And then I got to those temple ruins in the under dark and realized Sharrans literally eat people sometimes and I was like “Oh. Ohhhhhhh.”
#how was i supposed to know some gods are quite literally just evil omg#like girl i thought they hated yall bc u were goth and a baddie i thought u were bullied for being sad and pretty not like. cannibalism??#but i had already decided she was my bestie so i was just gonna look the other way#it’s not like she’d be the only person there who ate people *looks at astarion*#and i was literally a dark urge like im sure ive munched on an innocent once. it’s chill we’re chill#bg3#bg3 spoilers#shadowheart#bg3 shadowheart#baldurs gate 3#darius decrees
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Guys Rich was actually in Jeremy and Michael’s failed middle school D&D party, the only reason they don’t remember him is cause it was before he transitioned! Ugh! AND Jenna was there for a bit too, but she dropped the club because nobody paid attention while she was taking her turns :((
#this is canon I was the dice#how do I worm this into my senior year au#‘you don’t remember me from D&D club do you >:(‘#these freaks freak me out#truly madly deeply#the things i would do for Jenna I’m not kidding#genuinely I think that she probably had the shittiest middle school experience ever I’m so sorry jenna#school D&D clubs ate and always has been a hell scape for teenage girls and I’m tired of pretending they aren’t#are*#be more chill#bmc#jeremy heere#michael mell#rich goranski#jenna rolan#oh my god save me ex-nerd who was driven away from further participating in her hobbies at a young age#bmc musical#txt post
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MY BABYGIRL 🥰😍🤩😍🥰😍😍🥰😘❤️🤩😍😘🤩🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️🤩😍❤️🤩❤️🥰🥰😘😘😘❤️🤩🤩🛐😘🛐🛐🛐🛐
and its a man in his thirties
#mike faist#morris delancey#connor murphy#jack twist#riff lorton#art donaldson#my husband#my lover#my baby cakes#my pookie#my baby girl#the father of my children#my motivation#my rock#god i love this man#who let this happen#why is he so perfect#he’s my boyfriend actually (does not know i exist)#he ate#gah dayum#lawrd#lemme get a piece of that#please and thanks <3#bri talks about mike
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I think some of y'all (people in uni) were never 15 and read, "we accept the love we think we deserve" and sobbed while reading perks of being a wallflower and it shows
#gift giving is not a competition to some of us bestie#love is not conditional#dont make me overwhelmed by making our mutual friends bday a fucking competition#thank god her best friend also agrees and we are both her best friends so we know#but just why are people so#like this insecurity with love is so insane#people who want to see your love will see your love at the end of the day and if they don't keep being the lighthouse around please#anyway in other good news spoke to the cool batchmate i always wanted to talk more with and she was also like bro i love having convos with#you lets hangout and so we ate dinner walked and talked about history partition cultural stories my ex friend's bisexuality crisis which was#so similar to hers also takked about my cultural crisis family stories her firefly house urdu poetry her boyfriend my career pospects#so yayy i guess but so tired presentation was good prof questioned a lot cause he literally knows my source text authors its his friend in#uni and this girl said he'll take us out for drinks on last day of course so yayyyyyyy#my roomie and her bf constantly talk eh that is but i am gonna shower play my playlist till i sleep#today has been something but atleast i will have dinner with a new person tomorrow as well so yayyyy#life is just being very overwhelmed lately and i just hope people i love know that i love them and i am missing them even though#they live a floor above from me or live miles away too actually#eni life stories
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why did i think having a crush again would be fun
#i would never ask a man with long hair to cut it short but This Can Not Continue#i still dont even know if he likes girls. or genderfluid people with massive cans who dont bind or anything#do bi men text 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ATE (individual messages in immediate succession) to an ensemble gc#and then get embarassed bc they didnt realize the teacher was in it ohh my god i need to actually devour him right now or ill die#i feel like i could have been normal about this if i went on assuming he fucks and has a normal relationship with intimacy#like [redacted] probably did when she jokingly asked him if hes ever had sex#bc hes charismatic and funny and has great hair and could probably cut open a watermelon with his jaw#but ‘what if i just said no’ ohh i need to study you under a microscope now#🍞#tomorrow is 1 month since the shoot. lord lord lord#ITS ALSO HIS BIRTHDAY WHATTT#ok if i run into him wednesday and dont say hbd no hope for me even at all
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there is smth to be said abt how chihiro is always always always depicted in feminine clothing in merch + supplementary material despite her horribly written backstory like.
at some point, if she really wanted to 'stop pretending', she could easily make the choice to wear smth more unisex and 'subtle' but she always goes for the cutest, most feminine looking outfits and its like girl........ girl.....!
#and do NOT tell me its for non-spoilery reasons that shes still included with the girls and always wears cute feminine outfits in merch#pretty much everybody whos brushed against danganronpa knows whats going on with junko#if chihiro really truly was just A Cis Boy Crossdressing To Avoid Bullying (which inherently doesnt make much sense to me)#then like. you think said Cis Boy would... idk... at least try toeing the line between feminine and masculine expression more...#nobody is forcing 'him' to wear cutesy outfits and frilly dresses and brightly colored tops and short shorts in the summer...! just sayin#her internalized transphobia was absolutely self-devouring. honest to god#it ate her from the inside#junko probably took a lot of her self realization and mental peace away abt her gender expression w that memory wipe#its so fucked up. jesus christ#and then u play the game and sakura is forced to touch her corpse to discover the 'truth' and everyone just instantly switches#to masc pronouns with no struggle#its so badly written lmao#lets not even talk abt the whole physical strength = masculinity thing going on with her#also ive entirely given up on caring abt how other ppl perceive her gender#its a battle nobody will ever win#canon says shes a cis boy#her continous choice to express femininely#even in scenarios where she'd likely have 'come out' to her friends#saying otherwise#its just like#as long as you arent telling me to kms over a trans hc#then i dont have the energy to care#bc ppl who see her as a cis boy will not listen or change their minds#and i will not change my mind abt seeing her as a girl#i will say tho ppl who make older chihiro designs#and give her an out of nowhere square jaw and broad shoulders#and is like 6 feet tall#you are weird. i know what ur doing
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Happy Monday I'm being radicalized by not having a phone for 8 hours
#ya girl#posting this from my work desktop like it's 2014#my phone just totally ate shit for no reason and my alarms didn't go off and I went to the phone store for an hour just to be told#to go to best buy or file a claim and when I tried to file a claim they were like oh we need the account owner#who has no means of communication OTHER than a phone call#also bc of 2 factor authentication I cannot access my email and ofc#my t appt is today so god only knows how that will go#thankfully i'm a serial picture backer upper so all I'll lose is some memes#and maybe some texts or contacts but honestly I think those are backed up too#anyway i'm not dead. if you were concerned.
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you might have seen this song since it’s been going around on tiktok, but ‘the history of man’ by maisie peters is soooo girl who ate the gods
listening 2 it now as we speak and i am HERE for it
absolutely gwatg vibes!!!!
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Hhhhhhhhuuuummmmm Donnie Boy Critical Role and Princess Clara Neverafter.
You agree.
#just a solid five minutes of Brennan and Matt as a Russian horse princess and just a really big goat is all I’m saying#they compare local feed production in Neverafter vs Uthodurn and then go on a long rant about their last adventuring party gig#Clara is like ‘oh yeah the princess in the group was like hell yeah you’re a princess now too and there was a wolf girl who was cool’#and Donnie Boy goes ‘I watched my friend Jerry get torn to shreds by a wolf man. the woman took his fur before we ate him though.’#‘I think she’s gonna make socks outta him’#clara: 😳 ‘And you….swear. The Times of Shadow aren’t where you live right now. you swear to goat god to me.’
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they did to nami what I did to my capri sun pouches as a kid
how the fuck does anyone watch one piece when it looks like that 💀
#keep trying to get into one piece outside the live action#but oh my god the proportions on everyone#especially the women. like its really bad about the women. theres a big organ disparity btwn the genders#but everyone looks sooooo#[gestures to when zoro just becomes barrel shaped]#i thought luffy was the guy who ate the gum gum fruit#if so then why does everyone else get laffy taffied#me to the 1piece animanga: i wanna like you so bad please let me like you#1piece: okay <3 [dehydrates your girl faves]
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❛ TOO SWEET! ❜
geto, toji, gojo, nanami, choso. jjk men who can’t get enough of your sweet taste ‘& becomes needy for your touch.
total wc. 3.0k
warnings. fem!reader, aphrodisiacs, whiney men, unprotected sex, mating press, cowgirl, doggystyle, nipple play, eating out through your panties, dry humping, praise
an. request thank yew aiii, using this req as an excuse to make the jjk men whiney.
CHOSO ☆ KAMO
“baby w-wait,” he swallows, and choso’s panting heavily. heaving practically…
he just couldn’t keep his hands off you — ever since he told you in that soft, shaky red-handed voice that he ‘accidentally’ swallowed and eaten your freshly new bought sugary-coated sweets. “i feel so…” he murmurs, spinning you around before planting a kiss on your neck, then another, then another. “i need you. y-you smell sweeter than usual.”
“oh..is it that bad?” you stare up at him, a single eyebrow of yours raises, and he whimpers. you’re teasing him. the pout that curls down his lip is just adorable.
choso doesn’t give you a answer. he’s so starved of your wanted touch, all he does is drag a few inelegant awkward steps towards you, bringing you into a deep kiss.
choso cups your face with his big hands, his tongue swipes against yours and he backs you up against the glass cold refrigerator door.
he lets off a delicious moan inside your mouth and you gasp, feeling him spread your legs apart with his knee and your own whimper slips out as he’s kissing you. his body heat against yours was so warm, and every few seconds he broke away to repeat your name underneath his breath his shaky needy whispers. oh… maybe..
it really was that bad…
“are you sure?” you faltered with a shy smile, massaging the nape of your neck with your fingers. choso sat on the bed, his face remained flustered and plastered which nothing but whole heartedly lust and thirst. “this’ll help you um..stop feeling all….you know.”
“baby, yes—please,” he whines, his eyes plead. choso’s entire body felt so hot-tempered, warm.
it was cute seeing him grow frustrated, yet he was still as whiney as always, pink lips of his pursing and pouting as you teasingly and slowly made your way to sit on his face. “t-thank you, thank y—mph..”
your panties were still on but choso could care less, as you plopped down gently on his face — he couldn’t take it.
one single stripe lick between the crevices of your underwear was enough to make you moan out his name, hovering over him while giving him that same timid gaze. “c’mon. i need this, need you,” he’d speak, his own breath was racing against itself, jittery.
he gives your thighs a quick pry with his right hand, spreading your legs and you moan as he’s literally eating you out through your laced panties.
“ride my nose, baby. pleasepleaseplease. wanna savor my pretty girl’s—” and he pauses to breathe, almost forgetting to before moaning out. “..pussy.”
“c-choso..” you panted, starting to ride against his nose. he looked so pretty and submissive underneath you, a smile never leaving his lips as you were continuously starting to cover the lower half of his chin with your sweet slick. “fuck, fuck.”
his tongue was sloppy, never ending with the way it slurps your folds up. teasing your puffy clit with numerous sucks, his head’s swiftly moving and jerking as your hips moved and moved against him. choso reaches down to rub against the brick hard bulge building up in his shorts and he whines.
“c-can i touch myself?” he whimpers, and your heart swoons at him even asking. “….god, i’m so hot for you, baby. you make me so dirty. your taste… ‘s doin' this to me. just.. wanna please you, all night long baby.”
SUGURU ☆ GETO
“m' serious, princess,” geto mutters, gripping onto your shoulders. he looked like he’d just came back from his hourly workout. he’s staring you dead in the eyes, some strands of long black hair sticking to his forehead, and it appears as if he’s nearly out of breath. “i…ate your uh candy. but it’s not like you labeled it or anyt-”
geto freezes for a moment. he grows dramatically stiff, before staring down at his pants then at you. “shit.”
“…sugu, are you hard?” you giggled.
and oh, he grows so embarrassed. geto’s facial expression turns into a cute scowl, his ears grows hot the more he stares at you—and indeed he is.
geto’s boner was sort of hard to ignore. him wearing grey sweats didn’t make things easier either.
“can..can you help me or not? y’don’t know how painful this…is,” he huffs out and seconds later after you comply with a sweet little ‘okay’ he’s got you sprawled out all pretty on the bed. “more hornier than u-usual..” he swallows, leaning in to plant kisses straight down your chest to your stomach before he slides your panties off.
you stared at geto, and he licks his lips, panting. his chest heaved back and forth and he’s sweating a bit, he’s so turned on he feels so hot once he’s easing his way inside your pussy with his dick.
“m-mhm,” he bites his lip, keeping one hand resting on your tummy. you never heard him this whiney before and it was so cute. he doesn’t wanna rush but he can’t help it but start to create a pace with his hips. you moaned once he leaned into you, whining in his low voice, “kiss me, please. kiss me, princess.”
he was so thick. you felt him everywhere, his thrusts were so sloppy against you. more sloppier than usual but he was so driven.
his mind raced and his heart heated ten times faster than it regularly does.
“come here, baby.” you playfully smiled, moving his long dancing hair strands from his face and he deeply kissed you with tongue. hearing you say ‘baby’ got him more turned on.
the candy, your taste, and just your smooth sweet voice alone was gonna be the death of him.
“okay, okay…” he pants, you wrap your arms around him as his body weight lightly lingers against your chest. he’s so sensitive, warm as he leans in to kiss you for a second time.
it’s more quick and steamy. your tongue collides against his and you taste the sweet tang of the intoxicated candy residing on his tongue. you moaned at his hips smacking against yours at such rhythm. geto lets off a soft whiney purr at the way you comb a hand through his hair.
his lips were connected to yours for what seemed like forever. his warmth radiates against your skin as his body rocks against you.
“so sweet,” he murmurs, breaking away for a brief moment, his cock taps against your most sensitive bits and you whine. geto’s gentle but can’t help but be a bit crazy with thrusts, his strokes that made you dizzy. “i-i need more,” he huffs out, kissing the side of your mouth, then your neck, then your chest.
geto’s still huffing and puffing as he’s inside of you—each stinging slap he creates with his hips, you run into him and he moans, raising your right leg up, the leg that was wrapped around his waist to lick a long stripe up it while keeping direct eye contact. “can’t get enough.. ‘n it’s all your damn fault, princess.”
NANAMI ☆ KENTO
“sweetheart..”
is all your boyfriend says. you’re bent over the counter, and he pauses, you slip off a moan as nanami’s pressed up against you. his voice sounds lower than usual, raspy and somewhat whiney..? he intakes a breath before lifting the fabric of your sundress up. “i don’t want you to..see me like this.”
“kento, baby,” you shyly smile, not even facing him. “i told you yesterday not to eat the candy. the side effects are um…strong.”
with one hand, nanami tugs on his tie back and forth, he’s hot. “i’m aware of that now,” he grunts and you let off a gasp, feeling his hard boner rub against your ass. he grabs onto your waist and starts to make you grind your ass against him and he swears underneath his breath.
“fuck me,” he mutters in frustration. “forgive me, s-sweetheart but i just…i really wanna take you right here over this counter. restrain your cute hands with my tie and..”
“what’s stopping you then?” you teased.
and that was all it took nanami couldn’t hold back anymore, the lust overtook him and it was too strong. your cloying fragrance alone had him so tipsy. you’re perfectly arched over the sleek shiny, granite kitchen counter. nanami’s ruthless with his hits against your core. “k-kento..”
you’d moan out, your own hands pinned against your back with the neatly tie restraining your wrists, not too tight but just enough. you’re just bent over with the most perfect arch.
he’s so warm as he sloppily thrusts against you, again and again. his tip brushes against between your folds and you whimper out from how good he’s hitting you from behind. he’s got an exquisite tempo of roughness but also very gentle.
nanami grunts with the way your ass kisses against him each time. he purposely grows quiet to hear the hard hits, yanking on your pretty sundress. “jus’ like that, baby,” he’d moan out, barely able to contain himself. “throw yourself back…against me, jus’ like that…goddamn, girl.”
you were hunched over, wrists still restrained with his striped tie, a good grip of you as you’re being pounded ruthlessly against the counter. he’s never felt this horny and aroused before, hot and cold describes his heat and he groans at the way you move against him.
his dick reached you in each crevice, each spot with such ease you’re whining. you covered his base with your slick, he gets so hard from the recoil the more he stares down. nanami eyes the way the pretty sundress you wore—the one he bought you for valentine’s day, was all wrinkled and lazily pulled up to your waist. “s-so good, kento. more..”
“good, want you to feel good,” he rasps, caressing your bare ass once more. once his fat tip reaches your g-spot with a single hit you choke out his name and it sounds so pretty. “arch that pretty back just a more for me, pretty.”
you do and he gives you a soft encouraging spank, just to hear you whimper out kentooo. it drives him crazy, you drive him crazy—he’s so obsessed with the way your ass jerks back against him.
one swift smack and you moan, he slides a tongue across his lip, grunting at the way the recoil just bounces against him. he’s so dizzy, holding on to your hips, a firm grip and making you move back and forth before he starts panting.
“a little more, sweet girl,” and you do, moaning once his hefty base smacks against your ass. he starts to get a bit whiney, despite his low pitched voice, he’s completely losing composure. “all the way down, bend for me….y-yeah,” he stutters, and you get shivers, feeling nanami teasingly run two fingers down your spine.
“fuck, you’re gonna milk me, honey. make a…damn mess out of me.” and you do—because not even moments later, nanami ends up spraying thin ropes of of his cum all over your pussy, painting it like a canvas. “got me all messy just for you, p-princess.”
FUSHIGURO ☆ TOJI
toji’s hungry ass genuinely doesn’t care.
the moment he spots a pocket-sized, untouched velvet box of tasty sweets with cute neat handwritten of a sharply that wrote ‘DO NOT EAT ME!!” he pays no mind.
eating it, savoring the rich taste of caramel and cinnamon. he’d probably eat in front of you just to spite you.
yet, the last thing you’d expect would be to return home to a needy whiny toji.
“hey…girl,” you hear from behind you. he sounds worn out, as if he’d run a marathon.
he greets you with an awkward hug, which is more so just him feeling on your ass, his boner poking against your leg and he intakes your sweet scent before grunting into your neck.
“i…i ate the fucking candy. and all of a sudden you smell sweeter than..than usual and, shit.” he sighs, feeling your soft lips kiss the side of his mouth, his scar. “look. i just..i need you, bad,” and he sounds embarrassed, not even presenting you eye contact.
his eyes hide underneath his long uncut strands before he continues, picking you up while gripping down on your thighs. “but..maybe this’ll fuckin’ help..”
and by that…he means putting you in a simple mating press, toji’s stuffing you full of cock, he’s doing more moaning than you which is surprising.
his weight that lodges over your pussy just smacks against you each and everytime. he’s treating you like a rag doll basically. you’re just dumbly being stuffed full of inches, holding onto his beefy arms while he’s thrusting in and out, smack after smack it makes your ears ring.
“mhm yeah baby—girl,” he’d choke out, and you’re squeezing down on him so tight it makes his jaw clench. “so damn…hot, fuck i need more…gotta overflow this pussy s’good it’s drippin’ out.” and you whimper at him clamping down on you.
his thrusts became so nasty and sloppy, barely any rhythm.
toji looks so pretty when he’s needy. deranged, but pretty. he’s sweating a bit, beads race down the sides of his forehead, toned muscles were tense, including his back muscles. yet he blinks twice again.
slowing his strokes just a bit before groaning. “f-fuck, nasty bitch y’er tryna milk m-me?” and he whines—a gasp wretching from his mouth before that’s when toji realizes.
he came early.
toji stares at you, panting heavily, bottom lip quivering as he’s still got you in a mean mating press. your legs were just dumbly in the air, twitching and you moaned at feeling his cum trickle down your slit, oozing out of you.
“toji baby, did you just whine?” you teased, heaving yourself. and toji showcases a glare, bringing a swift spank towards your pussy and you moan.
“say…say that shit again…” he murmurs, all out of breath. he sits up, still stuffed deep inside you, his thick sheeny triceps flexed as he had them pressed against the sides of you.
“say what?”
he’s so embarrassed—a sheepish expression washes over him, tips of his ears were fuming with hotness before he grumbles, pulling out just to avert his eyes towards your messy pussy. “fuckin’….call me…baby again...please.”
“call you baby, yeah?” you teased, and he glares, a cute scowl on his face
“…you heard me, whore.”
GOJO ☆ SATORU
“hey, you’re back,” he utters, hugging you from behind. he smells so good—peppering your neck with a variety of chaste kisses, he sounds a bit shaken up and he’s far more clingy than usual.
the minute you hug turn around to hug him, softly running a finger down his undercut he lets off a moan. “y-your touch. ‘s been so long since-”
“toru i was only gone for three hours,” you mumbled, and he stared at you.
his entire face was flushed, his usual fluffy and well was all in his face. messy, ruffled, and he was sweating just a bit.
“why-” then you pause, moving your eyes towards the night stand to see the empty wrappers of candy scattered everywhere. “you- did you eat those?”
“no,” he immediately says, with a swift head shake, before letting off an ashamed, “yes.. i couldn’t help it. i thought you were just joking about the um…horniness.. but baby, i-i need you on top of me.”
he was so desperate.
you decided to 'help' him, in his way he wanted you to ride him so the lust could wear off, hopefully.
gojo’s so loud, slouched back against the squashy pillows of the sofa.
his head goes back before gripping your waist, whining at the way your hips rollicked against him. “f-fuck me more, touch me more. kiss me..baby please, ‘m so hot, pussy’s making me burn up, fuck..”
“satoru,” you mumbled, bucking your hips against him and it makes you suck your teeth. he was so big, easily stretching you out, molding out your pussy with such grace.
“stop talking.” you moaned, rocking back and forth. his cock, the girth of it stretched inside of you and you bite down on your lip.
gojo’s hair nearly covers his eyes, and he’s panting and whining each second. the way you clamp and squeeze around him makes his head spin.
“m-make me, girl.” he pouts.
you rolled your eyes, leaning in to kiss him and gojo moans in your mouth. the slim tip of his tongue ran against yours and he was so sloppy, breathing out his nose. he squeezed your ass with his left hand before whimpering once he started to bottom out.
he pulls away, simultaneously grabbing one of your breasts to latch his lips onto your perky nipple, a sweet attempt to hide his moans but he was still loud.
“mph,” he muffled, blue eyes staring up at you as you rode him so good his eyes nearly starts to roll back and you moan from the stimulation. his orgasm came so hard that he’s almost seeing stars. he painted your insides white—so much came out, it’s like he’s been saving his old just for you, he couldn’t stop tottering while being beneath you.
that’s when he lets out a sharp breath—tapping you lightly with his bottom lip visibly poking out.
“can..can you praise me?” he pants, you slow down your rhythm and gojo’s pupils dilates a bit, he swallows before moaning once you lean in to kiss near his neck. “your voice gets me so..tingly.”
“you did so good, satoru,” you hummed, kissing his nose, then his neck, then his chin, he’s still buried inside and he can’t stop moaning from your touch.
you run a finger down his v-line and he whimpers, his eyes following your movement and he was indeed warm. “…good boy.”
“jus’ hearing you talk ‘s gonna make me cum again, baby.” he choked out.
his soft shaky moans go against your ear the minute you start to ride him again, a slow yet sensual pace and he’s about to lose his mind. “don’t s-stop fucking me please. ‘m your good boy. all yours...fuck.”
#★vegasbaby.#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#gojo smut#toji smut#choso smut#nanami smut#gojo x reader#toji x reader#nanami x reader#female reader#choso x reader#tw aphrodisiacs#anime smut#anime x reader#tw sex
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I live in a boring-ass suburb right outside of a city that has all the actual fun things to do in it but it's still a good twenty- thirty minute drive to do anything there which is not something I want to do every single time I feel like going out so I've been exploring my boring ass suburb and it turns out THERE ARE A TON OF THINGS TO DO HERE TOO THAT AREN'T JUST GOING TO THE MOVIES, we have a boba shop, several small boutiques, an Italian catering restaurant (that still does normal delivery for smaller orders), so many parks, a bookstore, like three antique shops and a lot of other places that I would have never discovered had I stayed in the mentality that that my boring-ass suburb was well... boring
And it was pretty great for a while
Now
the locally owned theatre was bought out by a chain and they got rid of the arcade in the front, replaced it with a bar
two of the small boutiques have closed their doors (while you can still shop online for one of them, it's not the same)
the Italian catering place only does pizza deliveries now cause not enough people were ordering their other menu items
one of those antique places is getting emptier every year cause not enough people are renting space there anymore
and now this morning I discovered that my favorite place in town- a small cafe with barely any parking out front, prices that were too high for me to justify getting one item from there more than once a month (like 7 bucks for a single cupcake), and the best frosting I have ever tried on any dessert in my life (and I've had pastries in Spain, New York City, Guatemala) just permanently closed their doors cause the owner died
and we have a new target being built that will include a strip mall that already has chain stores planned to the square foot
I'm really scared for what we have left
#suburbs#buy local#support small business#if the boba place closes I'm going to lose it#I do my homework there#the employees know who I am cause I'm the girl that does their homework there#there's only one locally owned movie theatre in our area now#They have two branches so I think they're gonna be fine but it's a half hour away#I was always planning on eating at that cafe with my mom#I've eaten there with my sister and I've gotten my mom pastries from there before but we've never sat down and ate in there together#they're closed three days of the week including sunday (my day off from work) so we never really had the chance#well were closed three days of week#I'm really going to miss it#I had a professor who hated my town and everything about it and it always upset me cause there was so much to discover there#and it was clear he never looked#but I think his assessment is closer to truth everyday#god I hate that he's right#I'm going to miss you The Bakery at La Cueva#I will never have frosting that had your perfect amount of sweetness and delightful airiness ever again#but I'm glad I got to taste it in the first place#God I'm going to cry
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I am going to say something that might piss people on this site off, and that is that the stabbing at a Taylor Swift themed event in Southport does not exist in a vacuum.
It exists in a world where a joke about bringing a nail gun to the Eras tour to shoot fans gets 400k likes on TikTok, or where a reel about crashing a plane full of Swifties gets 200k likes on Instagram. It exists in a world where, on this very website, the one that promotes itself as rational and reasonable, someone says that "Taylor Swift and her fans should all die violent horrible deaths" and people applauded it. It exists in a world where, during TTPD release week men were in Swifties' comment sections declaring they would beat their daughters and girlfriends if they ever so much as listened to one of her albums. And it exists in a world where this week, fans of a TV show (which I will not name because that is not the point) sent death threats to a girl on Twitter for daring to be a fan of both their beloved show and Taylor Swift.
I don't give a fuck what your opinion of Taylor Swift is. I don't care if you think her music is grating, I don't care if you think she is the worst thing to happen to humanity since Eve ate the god damn apple. This is the dark side of stan culture that no-one talks about; where dislike of an artist becomes so obsessive that it becomes normal, even funny, to joke about killing their fans, because "it's just online, it's just a joke". It isn't. It is rarely ever "just online".
And yes I am going to be That Person and say that you can complain about Swift's brand of feminism and debate her position as a feminist icon all day long, at the end of the day, her name is still synonymous with girls. It doesn't take a genius to work out who this event was geared at.
I am not going to sit and claim that by simply not liking Taylor Swift you directly caused this. I would encourage you to step back, look at the bigger picture of stan culture, including obsessive dislike of an artist, and ask yourself how much this culture has enabled this. If making jokes on tiktok about killing someone over a pop star is normalised, how much of a leap is it to attacking kids with a knife at a fan event?
and of course there is the fact that the british media didn't even wait until those kids were buried before using this event to spread their racist, anti-immigrant agenda despite the race of the attacker not being known. all I can say to that is I am sickened and disappointed but not shocked.
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